#i'll be a little old lady and still think fondly of him at this point lmao

[theneighbourhoodferret]

Whats must humbling when said character like starts liking another character and you get lowkey jealous, me personally I have to look myself in the mirror and reflect that I’m getting jealous of a DRAWING bc its making moves on MY DRAWING 

loving a character so much will unlock such vulnerable and cringe parts of you that you try to suppress so bad but you can't like it's so humbling

[punsmaster69]

8/DEC/20XX

a deep breath, and i feel a sense of nostalgia.

weird nostalgia. wouldn't go back, but i still think fondly of what happened.

the crispness of the cold air in snowdin takes me back- and i'm already reminiscing about random memories.

point to almost any rock formation along the walls of this place, and papyrus can probably tell you exactly how he's climbed it.

kicking the snow with my slippers a little bit, i remember how he used to warn me about wearing 'em outside.

—-

"YOU'LL SLIP AND FALL IN THOSE!!"

"naahh. i'll be fine."

"......"

"SEE? EVEN GRILLBY AGREES IT'S A BAD IDEA!!"

—-

for the most part, i always was fine; just had to be careful around the ice.

fortunately, it's not an issue using shortcuts; really only ever slipping a few times.

—-

"I SAID THIS WOULD HAPPEN."

"you've slipped even in your boots."

"THAT WAS A ONE-OFF ACCIDENT!"

"so was this."

sliding me across the ice until we were close enough to the snow to stand again, papyrus lifted me onto my feet once more.

"I TOLD YOU THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA."

"you've gotta admit that over two weeks without slipping in these is pretty good."

"THERE'D HARDLY BE SLIPPING AT ALL IF YOU WOULD JUST PUT ON BETTER FOOTWEAR."

"these are way better."

"OBVIOUSLY NOT?! YOU 𝘑𝘜𝘚𝘛 SLIPPED!"

"but with snow boots, you have to tie 'em and whatnot."

"YOU DO THAT WITH MOST SHOES, SANS."

"not with slippers."

"YOU'RE GOING TO WEAR SLIPPERS ALL THE TIME.."

"JUST SO THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO TIE THEM?"

"yep."

"that's the plan."

"YOUR ABILITY TO CONSISTENTLY FIND THE LAZIEST ROUTE IN EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE CONFOUNDS ME, BROTHER."

"IT'S ALMOST IMPRESSIVE."

"thanks. that's the one thing i do put effort into."

"...BEING LAZY."

"it's hard work, doing this little."

—-

ahh.

back when new bad habits of mine still surprised him.

...speakin' of bad habits.

grillby's looks like it hasn't been touched since the day we took all the important stuff up.

the most one'll find in there now is a fine layer of dust only disturbed by me brushing against some stuff.

not that the jukebox ever worked before, but i'm pretty sure it wouldn't turn on if you tried at this point.

——

already knew the librarby was empty; they gave away all the books before leaving to the surface.

took the sciencey ones, myself.

wanted the joke book too, but a certain old lady got to it first.

officially, it is hers.

unofficially, the book keeps bouncing between being in either of our possession for months at a time.

it's gained a few pages over the years, a lined-paper section at the end with a lotta skeleton and snail puns.

think paps split the cookbooks with someone, and hoarded the puzzle books.

(not like anyone else was readin' those, anyway.)

there were a couple on monster history i'm almost certain i've seen frisk with a few times, so they must've gotten those.

as charming as this little place was, the new library's got way more selection.

sorry, not library.

still librarby.

they kept the name. too iconic to change it.

even if it had been changed, we'd all continue to call it the librarby anyway.

——

many of the folks who had shops down here have taken up that same role on the surface.

the two bunnies running the inn and shop moved somewhere closer to new home city for better business.

——

in the snow, i did what i'd done a million times in the past.

i parked myself at the foot of the door which separated snowdin from the ruins.

—-

"knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

she'd say.

"cash."

"Cash who?"

"no thanks, i'm more of a walnut guy."

and i'd heard her burst out into laughter from the other side.

"Knock, knock."

"who's there?"

"Hatch."

"hatch who?"

"Oh, bless you."

then she'd laughed at her own joke hard enough to be contagious.

"knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"canoe."

"Canoe who?"

"canoe come out here? i'm gettin' bonely."

she got a good kick out of that one, but her laughter had a tinge of sadness to it.

"...But, I am afraid not."

didn't expect any different of an answer.

always thinking it better not to ask quite why, i shrugged.

"one day, maybe."

"or not."

"you could just be mysterious door lady forever if you want."

"....."

"Knock, knock."

"who's there?"

"Peas."

"peas who?"

"Peas excuse my secretiveness. I know it can be a bit off-putting."

"everyone's got their secrets, 𝘴𝘯𝘰𝘸 problem to me if you keep a few."

"Ha! I am glad that you are so 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘭 with it."

"It is a joy to hear your 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘭 jokes every day!"

"nice to have someone with an a-𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳-able laugh to tell 'em to."

my slight regret about that pun immediately washed away upon hearing the laugh in question follow after it.

—-

....welp.

as fun as reminiscing has been, i've definitely left papyrus alone for far too long.

gotta spend at least a little time in the snow with him.

that's what we came back here for in the first place.

——

"WHEN DO YOU THINK IT'LL SNOW ON THE SURFACE?"

"it's supposed to get pretty cold soon, so probably not too long now."

"besides."

"if your desire for snow gets too awful bad, we'll just come down here again."

"WE SHOULD BRING FRIENDS WITH US NEXT TIME!"

"would be cool to re-visit the whole underground with everyone after all this time."

"OH!"

he sat straight up in the snow, scattering the powder around as he did so.

"YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO?"

"what's that?"

"COME, COME! QUICKLY!!"

——

from that very same spot we all first looked in awe at our new future, me and him watched the sun set.

golden light poured over everything; sun beams warm in contrast to the town we've left once again.

"WHEN WE FIRST MOVED OUT FOR GOOD, I REALLY THOUGHT I'D MISS IT MORE."

"THOUGH, I DIDN'T EXACTLY HAVE THAT FEELING OF TRAPPED-NESS ON THE SAME LEVEL EVERYONE ELSE SEEMED TO."

"IT'S HARD TO GET BORED WHEN YOU'RE THE MOST ENTERTAINING SKELETON AROUND!"

"WITH THE COOLEST BROTHER AROUND."

"aww."

"...MAYBE I DID FEEL TRAPPED A LITTLE.. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE."

"WE'RE ALL ON THE SURFACE TOGETHER, AND THAT 𝗜𝗦 WHAT MATTERS!"

when he turned to look at me, i couldn't tell whether his face was lit up more by the sun or the smile he had.

"I'M REALLY HAPPY HERE."

"me too."

[ssamie]

eight. “nakahara chuuya”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide and mild violence

masterlist.         suicide freak!

instead of eating out with the team, her lovely afternoon turned into a not-a-date-but-kinda with chuuya 

"yaknow, chuuya.. you haven't changed at all" she commented. she twirled her straw around the glass of her milkshake as she briefly glanced at chuuya from across her 

"hah?! what's that supposed to mean??" chuuya exclaimed angrily 

"i've always wondered about this" she hummed "but where do you get your embarrassing hats?" she asked 

chuuya clicked his tounge as he angrily sipped on his milkshake. "say what you want, vogabond" he said 

"i bet you're still going on and on about suicide despite your age, aren't ya?" chuuya sneered 

"yeah" she nodded 

he sighed and leaned back on his chair. "atleast pretend to deny that" he said 

she sighed and leaned back as well. "what are we doing here, chuuya?" she asked with a huff  "im guessing it's not a date. well, unless it is, then-" 

"shut up! it's a not a goddamn date!" chuuya snapped 

she chuckled and threw her hands up in mock surrender. "chill out, chuuya" she cooed  "and not like i'd care anyways." she muttered "im still chasing after a certain pudding head so i'd rather this be a little reunion, if anything." 

chuuya's scowl softened at her words. his brows nit together as he blinked dumbfoundedly at her. 

"you love someone?" he asked, uncharacteristically quiet. 

"i wouldn't say love" she shrugged "more like close friends, im currently convincing him to commit a double suicide with me" 

"oh." chuuya mumbled 

she rested her elbows on the table and placed her chin on her hands. "why did you find me, chuuya." she asked, but with her tone it was more of a demand for the answer 

chuuya didn't reply but simply crossed his legs over the other. he chuckled lowly and leaned in closer to her face. "im here to take you down." he whispered "you and your agency may have fooled and escaped from akutagawa, but not me." 

chuuya grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her head closer, so that their noses were touching. 

"im your old partner, after all" he smirked 

"indeed you are" she smirked back 

chuuya grinned, mischief in his eyes as he roughly pulled her head back and tilting it to the left. he then leaned in and whispered something in her ear. 

"what the fuck?" kenma muttered in disbelief 

"old partner?" kuroo muttered in confusion 

a few of the boys, specifically kenma, kuroo, yaku, lev, and yamamoto, were hiding at the other side of the cafe. they were seated by the farthest booth covered by a huge plant, trying to spy on the two. thanks to chuuya's loud voice, they were able to hear bits of the conversation. 

"maybe they were lovers?" lev suggested with an innocent smile on his face 

"who even is he?" yamamoto asked in a whisper 

"well, he could be an ex boyfriend or a friend, we wouldn't really know" yaku said with a sigh 

"he has a point" kuroo sighed "we don't really know anything about her, if you think about it" 

"we don't know what she was doing or who she was with before this" 

"whatever, just shh!" yamamoto shushed him 

"ah! i think he looked at me for a quick second" lev shuddered nervously 

"what?? he saw you??" yaku asked frantically "that's because your head is almost touching the fucking ceiling! get down!" 

"he's looking this way!" yamamoto whisper shouted 

"shut up, yamamoto! you're too obvious!" 

chuuya grumbled as he met eyes with the boys. he briefly glared at them before averting his eyes back to the girl. "those brats are watching us. tch" he said 

"i know" she shrugged nonchalantly. "though, i would advise you not to hurt them" she chuckled

chuuya smirked and stared her down tauntingly. 

"or what?" 

"i'll kill you." 

"ah, i see.." she hummed "you led me here to fight, is that it?" she looked around the deserted alleyway he brought them to. 

chuuya clicked his tounge and nodded in response. 

"well, i appreciate it" she chuckled "i wouldn't want kenma to see such violence" 

"stop babbling about that kenma and fight me!" chuuya scowled as he ran towards her, throwing punches which she dodged. just as he was about to hit her, she grabbed his arm and punched him in the stomach, making him cough out his saliva. 

"you call that a punch?!" he exclaimed as he swung his fist straight to her stomach, sending her back until she hit the wall. 

"it doesn't even count as a massage." chuuya sneered "get up." he scoffed

she sighed and lifted herself up from the ground, stretching her arm and wincing in slight pain. "geez, i thought my blocking arm would get torn off" she said with a soft chuckle 

"she predicted my moves.." chuuya whispered to himself 

"we've known each other for a long time, chuuya. i know everything about you, your moves, your pacing." she said 

"i wouldn't have been a proper partner if not, right?" she said with a teasing smile

"tch" chuuya scowled and threw a punch at her again. 

she groaned in pain as his fist made contact with her cheek. "why are you so weak?" chuuya asked. just before she could fall back, he caught her by the neck, pushing her back against the wall and squeezing hard on her throat. 

"the y/n i know would never be cornered down this fast, this easily." he narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "what're you plotting in that head of yours" 

she didn't answer but simply smirked as his grip on her throat tightened. 

"answer me or i'll kill you!" chuuya exclaimed "right here, right now!"

"no you won't." she stated with a carefree smile "after all, i am a former mafia executive. and a current traitor, as you all see me." she chuckled "my execution for those reasons would be the council's desicion"

she smirked as chuuya's expression morphed into one of conflict and distress 

"if you do kill me before that decision without permission, your act will be considered as betrayal" she said "you'll be punished, or worse, executed" she cooed 

"and if i overlook all of those and kill you, you'll still be happy since you still managed to die." he scowled 

she smiled and waved her hand about. "yeah, so go ahead. cmon!" 

chuuya scoffed as she simply continued to pester him. 

"coommmee ooonnnnn~" 

chuuya didn't answer but simply stabbed a dagger straight to the wall beside her head. the blade managed to graze her cheek, letting a lone drop of blood travel down her skin up to the bandages on her neck. 

she chuckled as she watched him stomp off in irritation. "oh, you're not going to?" 

"chuuya driven out of the organization because of me had a nice ring to it too" she laughed 

"shut up." he scowled 

she plucked the blade out of the concrete wall and waved it around with a teasing look on her face.  "well then, aren't you gonna walk me back like a proper gentleman? ~" she cooed 

"like hell i will!" he snapped back. he sighed and turned back around, continuing to make his way out of the deserted alleyway. 

"just shut your mouth and get outta here, you ass" he said as he lazily waved his hand in goodbye. 

"i'll try to find a man or woman willing to kill themselves next time" he said 

in an instant, her eyes sparkled. she looked at his retreating figure with wide eyes and a look of delight. "chuuya!" she exclaimed  "i had no idea you were such a good person!" she said 

"that was my way of saying 'go to hell', idiot!" chuuya barked back 

"let me tell you this, y/n" he said "don't think this will be the end of it." 

"there will be no second chance!" he yelled 

she simply smiled fondly and shook her head "no, wrong!" she sneered "dont you think you're forgetting something?" she called out, making him stomp in anger 

"dont-you-think-youre-forgetting-something? ~" she sang out 

reluctantly, chuuya buckled his knees and pointed at her with a fake bashful look. "there will be no second chance!" he exclaimed in a higher pitched voice, imitating a girl. 

she didn't respond with the proper reply they agreed on, but simply looked at him with a blank smile. 

chuuya blinked back and repeated his words. 

"n-no second chance.. HEY YOU SHOULD BE LAUGHING!"

"well, he didn't walk me back after all" she sighed to herself. she was currently making her way back to the agency since kunikida has been calling her nonstop. the megane has been whining about her missing work, while atsushi was simply begging her to come back to keep kunikida calm

on her way back, she passed a convenience store, which had an annoyingly huge amount of people bickering infront of it. 

"oya?" she mumbled 

"what's happening- eh?" she sweat dropped upon seeing yamamoto arguing with a man 

she looked around to meet eyes with kenma, who looked like he wanted to anywhere else but there. kuroo noticed her too and smirked at his friend. "your lady's here, kyanma" he teased 

kenma looked at her, a look of impatience and discomfort present in his face. 

"good evening, everyone!" she greeted loudly 

this caused all three of the nekoma boys, and three of the huge muscular men to look her way. 

"what seems to be the problem here?" she asked with a nonchalant grin 

"oi. walk away quietly before we give you some trouble, girl." the man arguing with yamamoto scowled 

she simply side eyed him before looking back at kenma. "ken-ken, whyre you out so late?" she asked with a smile "i thought you had a new game you wanted to play" 

"well.. they won't let us go." kenma answered quietly, pointing to the men with a frown

she faced the men with an exaggerated pout "why are you bastards causing my pudding trouble, hm?" she asked in a scolding tone 

"y/n-chan.. you shouldn't provoke them" kuroo said with a nervous smile 

"hah?! you tryna act tough, lil girl?" the men laughed "these scoundrels have been loitering in our spot." one man scowled "so we came to teach them a lesson." he grinned maniacly as he lifted the hem of his shirt, showing the gun inserted in his pocket. 

"good grief." she sighed "another angsty gang. this is getting old" she whined  "last time i checked, you didn't own this store so these boys are free to stay here whenever they want" she said 

"and carrying a gun without a liscense is a major offense." she pointed to his pocket. 

she then pushed kuroo, kenma and yamamoto away. "but since you're so hell bent. we'll spare you the trouble." 

"good riddance~" she cooed at the men 

she pushed the nekoma boys by their backs, urging them to walk faster while yamamoto looked back to flip them off. 

"oi oi oi,, not so fast" the men laughed. one of them tugged her back by her arm, laughing once he saw the bandages and the cuts she had on her face from her previous fight with chuuya. 

"a girl like you tryna act tough is laughable. but since you're here, you might as well play nice and be our little toy" 

she grimaced and pulled her arm back, sending them a dirty look. 

"after all, it's pay back for giving us all a headache." he said with a smirk 

"oi! get your filty hands off y/n-chan!" yamamoto exclaimed angrily 

she looked back at him and smiled in gratitude, though she simply tucked her hands in her pockets and ignored them. 

"im afraid i won't be agreeing to your request." she scoffed "we'll be leaving now" she announced as she grabbed yamamoto and pulled kuroo and kenma along 

"get back here, you bastards!" the most bulky man reached out, trying to grab one of them. 

unfortunately for him, the person he manged to grab was kenma. 

"h-hey!" kenma shrieked, trying to pull his arm back 

she stopped in her tracks and immediately ran back to his aid. she pulled his other arm back and shielded him with her body. "hands off." she said with a dark look in her eyes. 

"you little-" the man was cut off as a fist came contact with his face. 

a loud and unnerving cracking and popping of bones could be heard as her fist rammed on his face. 

"my, my.." she cooed, holding her hand up as she watched the man stumble back on the ground. "normally i'd say i'd hate for this to resort in violence.. "

"but that would be a lie" she chuckled 

kuroo, kenma, and yamamoto gulped as they watched the fight ensue. "y-y/n-chan, let's just leave." kuroo says nervously "the guys have guns" he warned 

"correction. one of them has a gun." she said 

the two remaining men laughed at her claim and pulled out guns of their own. "don't get so cocky, little girl" 

she simply ignored them and continued speaking to kuroo, as if it were a normal conversation. "those two blockheads don't have a single bullet in theirs." she said nonchalantly 

the two men gulped as they laughed nervously. 

"only an idiot would point a revolver at someone without a single presence of a bullet in them." she laughed 

"ah, sorry kuroo-san! another correction. none of them have a utile weapon in hand" she chuckled 

kuroo cocked his head in confusion. "then what about him.." he pointed to the man on the ground 

the poor fellow who had to take a gruesome hit was still on the ground, sporting a broken nose and a missing tooth. 

"you see, stuffing a gun in your pocket is pretty stupid!" she scoffed "stupid, stupid stupid!" she taunted. she stuck her tongue out at them and pulled on her eye, teasing them like a child. 

"it'd be easy for the other person to grab it." she said "that being said.." 

she showed them the gun, hanging on her finger by the trigger guard. she smirked and pointed it at the bruised man, ignoring the other two as her finger grazed the trigger. 

"now.. tell me, mister." she cooed "are you the leader of this gang?" she asked 

"y-yes." the man answered reluctantly 

surprisingly, she didn't pull the trigger on him, but simply smiled in delight. "i see!" she exclaimed with a smile "well then, since you're the top dog, i'd say you should tell your little puppies to run off and leave my friends alone!" 

"i-" 

before he could utter another word, she pulled the trigger. but she didn't shoot him of course! she refuses to expose her friends to such inhumane acts. 

"good! im glad to hear that!" she cheered happily, a stupid and giddy grin forming on her lips. 

she thew the gun in a nearby canal and stuffed her hands back in her pockets. "if i see you bothering anyone else again," she trailed off, her grin faltering as an aloof expression loomed her features 

"i'll punch you twice and shoot you five times." 

but as quickly as she it had disappeared, her smile once again came to light. "well then, it's getting late.. bye-bye!" she waved at them 

the men took this as a signal to run, which they did. 

the three nekoma boys looked at each other with a horrified and hesitant expression before looking back at her. 

"y/n..?" kenma called out 

she turned around, her aura softening as her (e/c) orbs clashed with his honey hued ones. 

"well then, let's head home?" she said to them 

"uh.. we were-" kuroo cut himself off by clearing his throat. "we were heading to the train station!" 

"perfect! should i walk you there?" she asked them "the agency is a few blocks down the station so it should be fine" 

"y-y/n-chan!" yamamoto exclaimed "hm?" she hummed back questioningly "marry me!" yamamoto exclaimed, his eyes wide with a pink hue coating his cheeks 

"sorry, yamamoto-kun" she cooed "but marriage is the farthest thing i have in mind at the moment" 

she glanced at kenma, who was too busy silently hissing and glaring at yamamoto to notice even her 

"i do, however, have our double suicide in mind, kenma-kun" she said. kenma stopped with his cat-like hissing and looked at her. "oh.. is that so.." 

"mhm. well then, you all should head back!" she said “but kenma, you should stay with me!" she proposed 

"why?" kenma sweatdropped 

"we could have loads of fun back in my place! you'll love that, won't you?" she asked excitedly. she hugged his arm close and rested her head on his shoulder, thus making walking a bit hard for them, but she didn't mind. 

"no." 

"aww! we could share the bed, and have-" 

"oya oya~" kuroo cooed "am i hearing this correctly~" 

"y/n-chan!! marry me instead! I'd love to stay at your place!" yamamoto cried 

"ke-n-ma~ what do you say?" she cooed, blatantly ignoring yamamoto. kenma grumbled and looked away from them. he tried to pull his arm away from her, but failed. 

"how are you guys acting so normally?" he asked "are we not gonna talk about y/n just beating up some guy and firing a gun?" 

"nope!" she hummed 

"what we will talk about, however, is my proposal of staying at my place!" she whined "i could please you all night long-" 

"im walking away now." kenma announced as he pulled his arm from her and fastened his pace 

"wait! i was talking about games and movies!" she reasoned out with a laugh "kenma!" 

"i am walking away. goodbye." 

im so bad at writing fights smh 😔

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 15

first time reader - click here

TW/SUMMARY: Is bad humour a trigger? Cards against humanity. Loki in the wild. Chaotic Tony, chaotic Reader. Team bonding, a gag chapter lmao

My beta is babey 🥺 @miscmarvelwritings

If someone had bothered to ask me what kind of relationship I had with Tony, it would've made my brain glitch. In the weeks we spent fucking, sciencing and hanging out with the Avengers, it never once crossed my mind. We had fun and it was easy. Unlike both of our lives, it didn't require much mental energy for us to get what we wanted from each other. For me, it was easier to ignore my skin aching for Tony when he was already spending so much time on me. I wasn't sure if it would ever be enough, really, so taking exactly as much as he was giving was my best bet.

We built things in his workshop with Pete by our side and it wasn't awkward. The spiderling said he was happy as long as we were happy and didn't mind it too much when Tony got handsy. The man had at least some morals and stuck to kisses, ass-slaps and lewd comments which made Peter snort and fake-retch sure, yet the boy never displayed any real discomfort. It was endearing. He really became the little brother I never thought I would have.

The sex was fantastic, to say the least. We fucked on just about every flat surface on the residential floors. Steve caught us once, although I am almost hundred percent sure Tony staged it all on purpose. The good Captain didn't even blush, instead just silently closed the door behind him as I stared in his face, gripping Tony's head with my thighs.

The weather grew dreary yet both of my parents still stayed out of New York. Mother went back to Canada and dad continued his never-ending party on the West Coast, conquering California and living his best life. My house was dark and cold, and I started hanging around the tower more often than ever. If I wasn't with Tony, I was busy catching up Wanda and Bucky on pop culture, teaching Thor how to bake cakes and doing other meaningless, domestic stuff. The Avengers tower bustled with life at all hours and there always was someone...

I never felt lonely. It was such an unusual experience. Comfort and reassurance was always one room away. Be it Thor with his gratuitous amount of physical affection or his brother's incredibly witty, dark humor, I never had to stay one-on-one with my thoughts for too long.

Personally witnessing Bruce's coming out of his shell was the highlight of my life, no lie. I was so used to the quiet, mousy Banner that my brain refused to acknowledge his amazing sense of humour at first; I wasn't sure if he was joking or ... Or what? Truth to be told, Brucie-bear was as snarky as Tony,Loki and Stephen. The sorcerer had started visiting more often too, under the guise of tutoring Wanda, but all of us saw the way he lingered in the communal areas after their study time came to an end.

If loneliness was a sickness then the tower's inhabitants and frequent visitors were beginning their recovery journey.

"Have you guys heard about Cards Against Humanity?" I asked one evening once the movie credits began rolling. Wanda was squished into my side with her legs in her brother's lap; Clint laying atop both siblings like the trash bag that he was. And I meant it fondly.

On the other side of me, I had Bucky and Loki, who had begun to discuss their respective collections of sharp and pointy things once they deemed the movie lacked action. Legally Blonde and action, did they really think..? Nevermind.

"Yes, and if you're offering, the answer is yes," Clint mumbled, reaching for his second pack of Cheetos.

We gathered in a circle as I brought the shoebox that had the original deck plus a couple of expansions. This was beginning to look interesting. "So, I have the special Avengers edition right there..."

"Say no more," Clint even abandoned his snacks. "But I'mma put on the episode of Lucifer I missed. Multitasking," He winked, wrestling the remote from Pietro. We waited patiently as they finished the obligatory round of horsing before settling down for the game.

I explained the rules of the game, choosing to disregard Loki's scoffing and Wanda's doubt about the quality of the humor in the game. We played a few rounds with me explaining some of the deeper pop culture references. At a point where all of us were engrossed, laughing and poking fun at each other, more of the Avengers parked themselves on the couch.

Stephen, Tony and Bruce evidently had been sciencing, all three men having had their safety goggles perched forgotten atop their heads. Sam, Natasha and Steve - probably sparring. All three of them brought the smell of soap and laundry detergent to the room. All of the newcomers observed us with mild interest, periodically glance at the TV.

It was Wanda's turn to be the card Czar. I had to take a moment to finish my last giggling fit.

"Okay, the white card goes..." She paused dramatically. "I never truly understood blank until I encountered blank." With that, she poked the timer app on her phone. The sixty second countdown began.

I did a quick inventory check. Then I snorted. I had to quickly stuff two knuckles in my mouth, biting down, to attempt to silence the hysterical fit of laughter I was on the brink of. Loki was definitely going to stab me but the opportunity was too good to pass. No fear, we die like men.

"Ooh, she's got something," Clint teased, having noticed my shaking shoulders.

The timer beeped. Naturally, Loki went first. He wore a mildly disgusted smirk. "I never truly understood parting the red sea until I encountered third base," The trickster caved and began chuckling.

Somewhere behind me, Sam and Tony began cackling while Stephen and Steve groaned loudly in mild distaste.

"Press F to pay respects," Pietro clapped Loki on the shoulder with a sympathetic chuff. "I raise you - I never truly understood licking things to claim as your own until I encountered the clitoris," The young avenger struggled through laughter, followed by everyone else this time.

"That's a keeper, ladies," Sam's rich baritone quipped.

I laughed along, inwardly preparing for the inevitable. "Yikes," I whispered, side-eyeing Loki. "I never truly understood daddy issues..." I trailed off, hearing Bucky and Steve beginning to tease Tony. "... Until I encountered Loki, the trickster God."

The room drowned in a sea of laughter, Tony and Clint busting a gut so hard they fell over. Said trickster God was less than amused, however, glaring in my direction with the force of a pissed off bee swarm.

"Ow, that's cold, Princess, that's just cold," Clint squeezed out.

"Loki," I abandoned my stack of cards, crawling over Pietro and Bucky on all fours, settling prettily on my knees in front of Loki. Making my very best puppy eyes. "I love you, with all my cold black heart. And you're technically the patron saint of fun and shit, so that means you must approve of this very clever joke," I pouted, batting my eyelashes.

"Baby girl, I think you're laying it on too thick," Tony gasped, slumping on the couch, holding his sides. Everyone kept laughing, now at my feeble attempt at placating the upset Loki.

Who, by the way, looked a bit spooked. Subtly but surely, the raven-haired Asgardian leaned away from me.

"Don't be mad, I'm too cute to be mad at," I finally snorted, pat-pat-patting him on the shoulder. "It's okay, you can join my club. We have hot old dudes and cookies."

That broke it. First, the corner of his mouth twitched. Then, Loki looked away. I saw the storm before it crashed; with a weird noise of his own and his cheeks puffed out, Loki joined in on the shit-fest, howling full volume and doubling over. I followed suit, until all of us were writhing around on the floor. We'd stop and then someone would make another remark and it would go into another round again.

"Menace," Loki scoffed at me, smiling. "And for the record, the hottest old dude, as you put it, would be me." That said, he went back to calmly waiting for his next turn. "I'm about a thousand years old."

"Thor's older," Bruce noted thoughtfully.

Loki scoffed. "That man cannot chew with his mouth shut. If that's considered attractive, I'm leaving this forsaken planet."

That struck a thought within me. One that was brewing a long time, to be honest. "Thor is the god of himbos," I said with the same tone as "Eureka!".

"Shit, you're right," Sam exclaimed, following with another, weaker fit of laughter meanwhile Bruce had to be the one explaining the term to the poor, poor, clueless members of the Avengers.

I need to find a way to award them some kind of points for learning the gen-z lingo. "Patrick" stars maybe, since they lived under a fucking rock?

"Princess, never a boring day with you around. You don't half-ass this shit," Tony's warmth reached me as he shuffled around on the couch, sitting directly behind me. I leaned my back against his legs.

"I'm not a clown," I shot back. Tony stiffened. Dramatically flailing my hand I announced: "I am the whole god-damn circus!"

As the game progressed, we found out that Clint was That Guy - meaning, the dude every CAH group had, the one who grossly overused the "Bees?!" card and made Star Wars references whenever humanly possible. The only even slightly funny joke was about a lightsaber up the ass, in the end all of us finding out that Bucky knew a little too much about modern sex toys - "Hey, I saw one on Amazon, I'll send you the link, Birdman" - to Steve's open-mouthed horror.

What Loki lacked in references he made up in wit. The play on "During sex, I like to think about genetically engineered supersoldiers" had Bucky scrambling to switch places with Wanda whilst Loki himself was attempting to shoot bedroom eyes at Steve. It was a mess.

Bucky's own play had Steve abandon all pretense at being in any way appropriate as he struggled for air. "The Avengers new rules prohibit using Mjölnir as a dildo." Me and Tony became somewhat of a messy guffawing octopus of limbs for a moment after the super-soldier said it.

"Don't. Tell. Thor!" Strange gritted out, hiding his laughter behind a palm, uncharacteristically having lost his stuffy attitude. By god's will the man was attractive when he smiled.

As time ticked, each one of the starting players had attracted a newcomer. There weren't enough cards for everyone to play (Tony had, of course, ordered additional ones but they wouldn't arrive until the next day) so people kind of whispered and pointed at what they thought would fit.

Natasha conspired with Wanda, Sam went to his bird-bro, Bruce was forcefully dragged by Bucky to his side. Surprisingly, Steve teamed up with Loki which made Pietro stick his nose up in the air and promptly declare he needed no backup.

I already had Tony on my side. The genius wasn't of much help, however, he simply annoyed me out of my skull by randomly giggling and making immature jokes. It should've alarmed me that Stephen was eager to join me and Tony - usually he just butted heads with anyone who had any opinion whatsoever.

I was left bewildered upon discovering the wizard liked drama as much as the Kardashian clan and was quite competitive at causing the most shit.

My clown crown felt threatened.

"This one," Tony poked at a card in my hand.

"If you think that's funny, your intellect is obviously overestimated." Stephen dismissively waved a hand. "This one," It was unmistakable whom the trembling finger belonged to. It pointed at a card on the other side.

"Wizards are just hilarious," Tony seeped sarcasm.

"Try me, Beyonce," Stephen murmured darkly.

That was just background noise to me. I had all my undivided attention on the TV, my last two functioning brain cells focused on the scene unfolding right in front of me. The Lucifer episode, the devil and his insatiable thirst for honey. The timer buzzed but I was still drawn towards Tom Ellis dipping two of his fingers first in the honeypot, then in his mouth, all the while looking like a damn snack himself. Illegal. I've never simped so hard for a fictional character.

A golden glow snatched a card out of my grasp, levitating it.

"Girl, what the hell?" Wanda saw my face and attempted to revert me back to earth. "Someone turn off the TV, there's not enough water in the tower to quench her thirst."

"Hey, did you two just - don't ignore me!" Tony whined, managing to tug on my hair and attempt to reach for the card now held in Stephen's grasp, simultaneously.

"I don't blame her," Clint mused. "That right there is one very fine dude."

I shook my head, clearing any untoward thoughts. Focus. "First of all, Bird, you're a dude. That there," I pointed up at the TV. "Is a man. A Man." I emphasised, getting a jealous poke in the back from Tony. "Second of all..." I turned towards Stephen. "The quaffle, the snitch and the AUDACITY OF THIS BITCH!" The last of my sentence was pitched. The sorcerer had raised his arm, clutching the card, and I struggled to reach it.

"What... What did you just say?" Stephen was laughing, not at all phased by me climbing him like a tree to take hold of what's mine. Tony was actively helping - or, trying to. One-handed. The other hand attempted to snatch the rest of the cards from my grasp.

"And that's an F on teamwork," Bucky's sarcasm was complemented by Steve's famous Captain America Is Disappointed In You look.

"Uhh... Guys? What's going on?" Peter's timid voice leaked confusion.

"Hello, friends," Thor boomed, drowning out the boy's questioning noises.

"We're playing a game. Cards Against Humanity."

Wordlessly, Peter towed Thor along with him to find a spot amongst us. And even if Thor didn't get any of the references, he still was good fun. His laugh was infectious. The way he cheered for every winner was incredibly wholesome. Golden space puppy. The urge to immediately pet Thor and give him endless pop-tarts was strong in me.

Loki was one dramatic, vengeful bitch. "Women get turned on by the Devil himself"? I was ready to throw hands with the trickster. Everybody's laughter drowned out any cursing I might or might have not directed towards Loki who looked far too satisfied with himself. I was going to substitute the sugar for his tea with salt one day, mark my words.

I wouldn't admit it over my dead body, but the way he got back at me for the daddy issues joke was kinda funny. Okay, very funny. It was fucking hilarious. I admire a clever man.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby

[teamfreewilllover]

Instructor: Part 3 - Billy Hargrove Imagine

Part 1    Part 2

Y/N grimaced as she watched Mrs Wheeler all but drool as Billy walked out of the locker room. It was one thing having to watch all the girls from their school eye him up and down, but it was another having to watch a forty year old act the same way. Before Billy could even get to his seat, the older woman had approached him, a seductive smile on her face that made Y/N want to throw up. Deciding enough was enough, Y/N made her way over to the pair, as she caught the end of their conversation.

"Oh, I uh...I didn't think you taught adults" Karen stuttered, her eyes going to Billy's lips.

"Seeing as he's not the swimming instructor at the pool...he doesn't" Y/N announced, coming to stand at Billy's side.

"They're private lessons" Billy shrugged, his trademark grin on full display.

"Well it doesn't seem like Mrs Wheeler needs any lessons from you. I'm sure she's a very busy lady, with her kids...and husband" Y/N pointed out, raising an eyebrow at Karen.

"Uh, right. You're right. I don't think I do need any lessons" Mrs Wheeler nodded, before making a hasty exit.

"Wow, you've really lowered your expectations, huh? Going after middle aged mothers?" Y/N suggested, raising an eyebrow.

"Why are you so interested?" Billy queried, with a smirk.

"She's too old for you" Y/N insisted.

"Oh, so you think I should be going after someone more my age? Maybe someone in my grade?" Billy inquired, getting a mischievous look in his eyes.

"Well you have plenty of girls to choose from" Y/N shrugged.

"Too bad I just want you" Billy told her, as Y/N felt a blush start to spread across her cheeks.

"Oh please. If that were true you wouldn't be flirting with Nancy's mother" Y/N theorised.

"I was only trying to make you jealous, and clearly...it worked" Billy smirked, leaning his head down so that their faces were only inches apart.

"It worked in proving my point. You're always going to have a wandering eye, and I'm not the type of girl to be okay with that" Y/N explained.

"No, I won't. Why would I have eyes for anyone else if I was dating the hottest girl in Hawkins?" Billy suggested, as Y/N scoffed in disbelief.

"I'm serious, okay? Before the summer, I'll admit I had never taken much notice of you, but now...I actually like you too, Y/N. You're funny, smart and...for some reason you actually seem to care about me" Billy went on.

"Maybe a little bit" Y/N mumbled, with a small smile.

"Max told me that you've been asking her to go easy on me at home. You're always giving me your lunch because my dad never gives me any money. And I know that you'd actually be worried for me if I did get involved with any older woman, and not just because of your massive crush on me" Billy explained, turning smug at the end.

"Cocky bastard" Y/N shook her head, fondly.

"Look, I'm not good with...feelings or any of that shit. But I want to see if we can make this thing work" Billy insisted.

"Are you serious?" Y/N questioned, as he nodded.

"Meet me at Motel 6 on Cornwallis and I'll show you just how serious I am" Billy insisted.

"I'm not going to have sex with you, Billy-" Y/N started, but he cut her off.

"To talk. And maybe make out a little?" Billy suggested, with a grin.

"Depends how good what you say is" Y/N informed him, with a small smile.

"It's a date then. Oh, and remember to wear some actual clothes" Billy added.

"My swimsuit doesn't do it for you?" Y/N said, raising an eyebrow as she looked down at her red one piece.

"Oh, trust me, it does. Seeing you half naked and wet all the time...let's just say it's giving me a hard time" Billy told her, his eyes slowly trailing down her body, as he emphasised his words.

Y/N shook her head, as she bit her lip in response. Billy simply gave her a wink before walking back to his post. It was then that Y/N realised just how screwed she was.

Let me know if you want a Part 4 and what you want to see in it?

Tag list: @rexorangecouny @lets-love-little-me @itsnotfrompokemon @infinitelycharmed23 @ashtronomyyyy @vespertxne @tmb510 @hesvoid34 @anyasthoughts

I wasn't able to tag everyone who asked due to glitches, so if you want to be added to the tag list still let me know!

[x688plsloveme]

Whumptober Day 2 - Explosion (Danse)

Danse hates being out of power armor. He feels naked without the armor, but it’s not like he has any choice after his forced exile from the brotherhood. Operating without its extra protection isn’t as hard as he thought it’d be. He does still have memories of his trainee days, even if they aren’t actually his memories. He’s still the same force to be reckoned with, he just needs to remember that he’s not as indestructible anymore. 

Though he certainly feels like it next to his partner, Rubi. She helped him when he was at his lowest and saved his life more times than he could count. Not even power armor makes him feel as powerful as just having Rubi by his side. It’s no surprise that he’d readily give his life for his loved one. He was completely serious but also knew that Rubi would never let him do that. They’re both self-sacrificing dorks and they know it. Thankfully, the trip they’re taking now is a routine one that they’ve gone dozens of times before. They’re heading to Diamon City to visit Nick and Piper and catch up on the latest gossip. They know the way like the back of their hands. There’s no way something could go wrong. 

Right?

Downtown post-apocalyptic Boston is just lovely this time of year. The gray, crumbling buildings and occasional corpse really do give the place a special kind of charm. Danse isn’t really paying attention to all that though - his attention is elsewhere. Specifically, It’s on his girlfriend Rubi who is currently ranting about how much she misses cars. He focuses on little details that are a result of her wild way of talking. Her hair, shorter than usual on account it being set on fire awhile back, was sticking up in ways that want to make Danse laugh, and her expressive brown eyes (which Danse adores) shines with both mirth and annoyance. An impressive combination in Danse’s opinion. Rubi throws her hands in the air and huffs. “Everyone used to have cars! They’d get people around fast! But noooo. Now we have to walk hours just for a short visit!” Danse can’t help but stare fondly at his girlfriend. “How could so much rage be contained in such a sweet woman?” This went on for quite some time, Rubi talking about whatever happened to pop into her mind, and Danse watching fondly. They liked each other’s company, but it’s also a way to distract the both of them from the exhaustion slowly creeping into their bodies.

With both of them occupied with the other, they don’t notice the gunners who have very recently set up camp up ahead until it was too late. A shout was their first indicator that something was wrong. The next was the bullets that zipped past their heads. They quickly duck behind an old car - ironic - and start popping shots themselves. The good thing about gunners is that, despite being organized, they are terrible at teamwork. They’re always competing to who can get the most kills. The couple is safe behind the car for now, but they can’t stay there forever.

Danse gives Rubi cover fire as she scans the area around them to look for alternative cover, but of course, lady luck never liked them and this time was no different. the only other cover is a few dozen feet away and it seems that the gunners are starting to get bored and are aiming for the car’s engine. Rubi points this out, and, even through his growing panic, Danse sighs. “Great. Just what we needed. Not every car will blow up after being shot at, but if that smoking is any indication, we need to think fast.” 

Rubi looks up at her boyfriend as he knows what she’s thinking the moment the two lock gazes. His eyes go wide. “You can’t seriously be thinking of running for it right!?”

“We have to! There’s no other choice!”

“We’ll get blown full of holes!”

“Better than dying in an inferno-!”

The two are interrupted by a bang behind them. The engine hood had just blown off. Danse and Rubi look at each other with equally panicked eyes and start running at the exact same time. Danse was never the best runner though and he got slightly behind his partner. YetThe gunners stopped bothering with them a couple minutes ago when a group of raiders wandered by to see what all the noise was about. Rubi ducks behind cover, but Danse is too slow. Seconds before reaching cover, the car explodes, sending fire and shrapnel up and out around it. The brilliant flame throws Danse fowards right past where Rubi sits. The sight of him is absolutely horrifing.

The entirety of his back is covered in burns, making the air smell disgustingly of charred flesh. There are also several lacerations caused by the bits of metal slicing him open which are oozing sluggishly with his blood. He keeps gasping in pain and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. Rubi starts to run to him but is stopped when he lifts himself up a bit to look at her.

"Go! Hurry up and shoot them while they're distracted!" Rubi seems torn, but does what he's asked of her even with dread sitting heavy inside her.

She goes into the fray and drops the remaining gunners and raiders one by one until there's no one left. After double checking, she runs back to Danse to treat his wounds. He's still lying on his stomach when she's gets to him. When he hears her coming he doesn't exactly smile, but he does relax a tiny bit. He knows he'll be okay with her around. Rubi is, of course, way more worried. She doesn't trust herself to speak without crying for now, so she just takes as much shrapnel out of her boyfriend's back as she can and administers a couple stimpacks on the worst areas. She kisses him every time he seems to be in more pain.

When he is more or less stable, Rubi helps him up. "C'mon you big baby. We're close enough to Diamond City that you can just get patched up there." Danse smiles. "Since I'm injured does that mean I have permission to use you as an armrest?"

Rubi glares with enough venom to make a deathclaw back up. "Do it and I'll finish what the car started."

"Yes ma'am."

He says this, yet still ends up doing it ten minutes later. It's fine though, she'll make him take the couch when they go to sleep at Piper's place, injured or not.

@dumbfuck-mojave I hope you like it!!! 💖💓💝💗♥️❣️💙💛💜💚💖💓💓♥️ It was fun to write and I hope it was equally as fun to read!

I forgot to make Rubi's sprite lmao. Here it is: