#i'd stick to drabbles but i'm trying to work myself up to writing longer fic again bc i have Ideas

[schrodingers-dove]

it's always great when you up a word doc and there's so much more written than i remember... it's less great when you realize you want to do yet another major overhaul on it T_T

[lieslab]

To the future and beyond:

| °˖✧✿✧˖° | °˖✧✿✧˖° | °˖✧✿✧˖° |

Well, this is new. I keep sitting here staring blankly at my laptop screen, typing, deleting, typing, deleting, typing, and deleting again. I've been trying to figure out how to pour out my heart without coming across as selfish. I know my actions aren't selfish, but I'm afraid that it will come across that way and that's not my intention at all.

I used to update this account with new drabbles multiple times a week, but now I seem to struggle to upload once a week. Life is taking a toll again, but not necessarily in a bad way. It's more like, I'm growing up. I'm having more and more adult responsibilities that I never had before.

My work just added more hours for me to work. I'm trying to work through college classes. I've mentioned before that I have a younger sibling that I parent. Plus, I try to work in time to write and it's all just so much. Honestly, it's too much.

I get requests and I love them, but lately I feel bad because I can never seem to keep up. Because of that, unfortunately, this is the announcement that from now on requests will be closed. I've emptied out my inbox. To everyone who already requested something and I've responded to you, your drabbles are still coming. After they're posted, if you have another request, I won't be taking it at this time.

I know that sucks and I hate to do that, but it's not fair for either of us. It's not fair for you to have to wait a long time for something you want to read and enjoy. It's not fair for me to have to try and pull something together and half-ass it either.

After I finish all my requests, I'll probably still be here, just a bit quieter. I'd like to go back to posting stuff that I get inspiration for in the spur of the moment. I never post that stuff anymore because I feel guilty posting it when I have requests to do.

I want to start writing longer series and posting them for you to enjoy all at once. If you really like my writing and crave my stories, I still update full length fics five days a week. You can find the current one here.

I know it sucks, but I think it's a great way to give you higher quality writing, better stories, and who knows what I might add in the future. I think it'd be amazing to have some sort of interactive fic or create full-length trailers for each one, so you know what you're getting into.

This really is my passion and I love the band a lot. I don't want to entirely stop writing drabbles, just give you better ones. It's always been my goal to become a published author. Writing fanfic has made me better and believe it or not, it's actually opened up an amazing opportunity for me.

Because I spent so much time writing full-length fanfics, I qualified for a creator program which has a ton of resources to help grow my writing. It's the most amazing thing and it's such an honor and a privilege. I don't want it to slip through my fingers.

So while I study more resources, try to grow and expand my writing, all my old drabbles will still be here. My inbox will still be open, just not for requests. Please try not to be too hurt by this. There will probably be times in the future when I still open my requests, but for brief periods of time only.

I'm doing this to save myself stress and anxiety, to better my future, and to give you better content. I know you're strangers on the internet, but you really have become my safe space. You have no idea, but some of my drabbles are based upon my own struggles.

This is my haven and this truly does feel like home. More content will be coming your way soon, please just give it time. That's all I have and that's all I wanted to say. Thank you for reading and if you choose to stick around, thank you. I can't wait to see what this writing journey will bring and I can't wait to bring you with me.

<3 Lie

[exitvelocities]

on fandom and writing.

so that meme about showing how many fandoms you've written for is going around bsky and i assume twitter and here's mine:

the way i put it on bsky is that my purview is narrow and my start up cost is high. two of those (yowapeda and all out) are only in there as part of multi-fandom drabble dumps from the bygone saso days; chyf and oofuri i did at least write short (<1K) pieces for chocolate box. the last three are the main fandoms i've produced for in the last decade or so. daiya for about three years 2014-2018, bad buddy from late 2022-mid 2023 or so, and now mlc from april 2024 on.

i hope i'll be able to hold on to mlc for longer than i was bad buddy but i think i will -- i've been able to find enough community that i think it will stick for a while. part of that is the leap of faith that is the dihua discord server, but finding any cdrama friends at all has been a journey since my old circles are all dwrp and sports anime.

fandom for me is inherently a social activity or i would just stay in my corner and enjoy by myself like i do for most things; the main thing that motivates me to become active in a fandom is the desire to talk to someone about it. the desire to write may or may not be there without having someone to talk to, but even a little bit of encouragement goes a long way, so just someone saying "yeah i'd read that" was enough to get me to commit to my usual fic meme bullshit and that, i think, also helped find some more people to talk to, or at least interact with on some level.

i'm actually a very introverted person but i've been spending a lot of energy trying to foster a friendly environment on the server and hopefully in this space, though i can't see how well that's working as clearly. i gather the energy to throw myself at new people approximately once a decade lol so it's a little surprising that i'm managing so quickly after flaming out in my last fandom but mlc and dihuas in particular have been really welcoming.

anyway, this was supposed to be a post about writing. writing is pretty difficult for me in many ways, but it's also just. sort of what i do. so if i love something enough to want to talk to another human about it, it's not a stretch that i'll eventually want to create for it too. granted, for me, this is often expedited if i get bitten by the ship bug. i did actually watch mlc when it aired last year, but didn't really look into fandom or fic for it until earlier this year and sort of got delayed-reaction thunderstruck by dihua, which has so many elements that i love in a ship. the tension! the fondness! the trust and knowing! i should have known i was a goner but i didn't until i was falling headlong.

according to ao3 i've produced about 16K of mlc fic since april of this year. now, i know that's not a not for some, but to contrast my highest production year was 24K in 2015, so, for me: quite a lot! especially within that time period. i'm slowing down now/it's getting harder again but i don't plan on stopping so we'll see what my count is by the end of the year.

like many writers, i battle with self-confidence and mlc fic in particular has been a weird struggle for me. my writing hallmarks from previous fandoms have been atmosphere and poetics, succinct characterization, and imagery. for mlc fic i feel like i'm at 1 out of 3. i think (hope!) my character work is still good, but i feel like my writing for this fandom has been so plain. i want to write pretty things for this ship! i will keep trying. i may just need to eat more poetry and spend more time violently throwing myself around when trying to write, but hopefully i will manage at some point.

this post actually started with me thinking about why i choose to make my fic meme/drabble dumps chaptered rather than posting them individually when visibility/feedback/attention are unfortunately so important to me. every kudos, comment, tag comment, reblog, rec, etc really means a ton. writing is something that takes up a ton of energy and sometimes it can feel like you're pouring a whole lot of it out and not getting any in return and, for me at least, that's what burn out feels like. at the same time, like. in the end you're always writing for yourself so you sort of have balance that with how feedback or lack thereof makes you feel.

fic meme does get posted separately here on tumblr so maybe with that i get a little best of both worlds? i don't do it on ao3 because it would just straight up make me feel crazy to have literally 100+ 300-700ish word long ficlets scattered across my account over the decade, all needing titles, so my need to have things organized and in their place wins out over the need for validation there.

i don't know where i was going with this anymore tbh, but thanks if you read it! also thank you thank you thank you so much to those of you who take the time to read and respond to fic in some way, whether it's reblogging with tags, leaving comments, or just hitting the kudos button. i really can overemphasize how important these thing are as a fic writer.