#i'd say if you make clothes for yourself then they fit you and obviously they'll be more comfortable but like

[bar-les-coucougnes]

i don't mean to sound like a weirdo but i tried on my shirt before it was done (i kinda roughly assembled the sleeves by basting them to get a feel of how they are) and it felt so fucking nice and cool i had to lie down for a second and enjoy the moment

are you telling me clothes are supposed to feel nice??? i usually wear normal clothes, t shirts, sweaters, jeans, etc and they don't feel awful but this... this feels nice????? are you telling me that some clothes have been comfortable this entire time???

[inglourious-imagines]

The Story of Their Lives (Lt. Aldo Raine)

Requested by: @tealaquinn

Summary: The story of Lt. Aldo Raine and Sgt. Y/N Y/L/N.

Prompts: 9 - Don't you touch her. & 12 - No one would hurt you again, or I'd kill them. & 21 - I wanna see how you lose control. & 24 - He's a badass with a good heart. & 39 - Kiss me. & 93 - You make me feel... you make me feel.

Author's Note: This is damn long so I really hope you like it! Also there are some parts in Italian so I'd like you to know, I've never learnt this language so there might be some mistakes. Feel free to send request or let me know if you wanna be tagged in these ♡

Taglist: @alienoresimagines @radiantcade @meteora-fc @kyra3155 @real-fans @not-john-watsons-blog @im-in-love-with-queen

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.

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Y/N and Aldo never showed some kind of an affection towards each other. They respected, trusted, appreciated the other one but these traits were common among the Basterds.

It seemed so innocent at first, almost like a teasing and none of the Jewish American soldiers expected to become it something more.

•••

They met at the very beginning of the Basterd's missions. Y/N was a french spy, a very famous one so she obviously got their attention since they'd gotten to France.

The Basterds recruited her in a bar and she immediately became one of them. Y/N fit within the group perfectly, like she was always destined to be a Basterd.

•••

After the third successful mission, they decided to stay the night in a local resistance hotel to relax and prepare for another action. Everyone went to their beds as soon as they could but Donny persuaded Y/N and Aldo to gamble a little before the sleep. 

"C'mon, just one game!" Donny pleaded. It didn't take much and the trio was sitting around a table playing their fifth game.

"I thought you're better at poker, Lieutenant." Y/N laughed as she grabbed another money she won.

"Shut up, Sergeant. I just am a bit lenient with ya, that's all." Aldo fought back, trying to cover the fact he's worse with cards than Hugo trying to actually smile for once. 

"Show me what you got, Lieutenant. I wanna see how you lose control." she winked at him and dealt the cards.

•••

Something changed in Aldo this evening. At first, Y/N was just another soldier sticking up for her country trying to end the war. But now he saw her in a totally different light.

He noticed what colour her eyes have, how she always ties her hair in a braid. 

He noticed how her cheeks blushed when he praises her after a good work.

He noticed how she scrunches her nose when she disagrees with someone. 

All those little things were filling his head. Aldo was so full of it. It was during the other mission when he completely understood his feelings.

•••

One moment and his whole world flipped. 

Aldo was so angry with himself that he missed such an important thing.

Like a gun. 

The German soldier was just kneeling in front of Aldo when he reached in his pocket. It all happened so quickly then.

The German pulled out a gun and with one last defiance he pulled the trigger. But it wasn't Aldo who got hit. 

It was the woman behind him.

Aldo was like deprived of his senses. He threw away the piece of bread he was eating and jumped at the German. If Wicki didn't pulled him back, Aldo would probably beat the guy to death.

And that was Donny's speciality.

"Don't you fuckin' touch her! Or look at her!" Aldo shouted hitting his face with his fist one more time.

Y/N was so taken away by his behaviour, not really sure where the anger got from.

"What the hell, Lieutenant?" she frowned, "it's just a goddamn scratch on my arm. The bullet didn't even hit me properly." 

Aldo froze whereas Donny and Hugo looked at each other with knowing smiles. They finally realised what was going on.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he tried to brush it off, gesturing to the Basterds to continue with the scalping. "It's fuckin' bleedin' a lot!"

"It's fine. Nothing too serious, Lieutenant." Y/N replied.

Aldo just shook his head as he took off his scarf and tied it around the wound. "No one would hurt ya again, or I'd kill 'em."

•••

The Basterds got ordered to rest a bit because there was a big mission on its way. They didn't know what it was but they all welcomed a full night sleep.

But Y/N didn't feel like going to bed. Instead, she took her cigarettes and sat at the balcony of the apartment they got settled in.

It was a chilly night but she didn't mind. She actually liked cold more than heat.

"Aldo seems a bit off lately." Donny's voice broke the silence as he positioned himself next to her.

"What you mean?" she asked offering him a cigarette which he gladly accepted. 

"Remember how he beated up the German officer two weeks ago? I've never seen him like that."

"Oh Donny. He's just a badass with a good heart. I assure you, Aldo's just fine."

Donny shrugged but didn't say anything. This wasn't his secret to tell even though the change in Aldo's behaviour towards her was so damn obvious. 

Donowitz glanced at Y/N smiling a bit. He understood why Aldo fell for the female Basterd. 

•••

Bridget von Hammersmark was laying in front of them with a bullet in her leg while Hugo, Archie and Wicki were dead.

Y/N was standing in the corner of the room, lost in her thoughts, mourning for her lost friends. She knew something like that had to happen but she also believed in Basterds and part of her thought that they'll all come back home one day.

Y/N wasn't able to look at the actress anymore. She quickly left the room not looking at anyone while she lighted her cigarette. It'd been becoming too much to handle for her.

"Are you alright?" Aldo frowned as he walked towards her. "You still in?"

She laughed sarcastically at his question sheaking her head. "Yeah, of course, business. I'm in, Lieutenant."

"I didn't mean in like that and ya know it."

"Yeah, sorry. It's just-"

"I know, Sergeant. This whole event got me thinkin'. I gotta tell you something."

Y/N threw away her cigarette as she looked directly at him. She wasn't sure if it was the light or the sentiment, but Aldo's eyes never seemed so beautiful to her like they did in that moment. 

"The truth is," Raine began as he stepped closer, "you make me feel... you make me feel, Sergeant."

•••

When Y/N stepped into the room in a black plain tight dress, the conversation between the Basterds immediately stopped. They'd never seen her in anything but in uniform or the civilian clothes. Donny dropped the glass of whiskey he was drinking, Hugo's knife fell on the ground with a loud crash, Omar and Wicki stayed there with their mouths wide opened, Archie Hicox smirked and Aldo, Aldo was taken away and wasn't able to get out a word.

"Please, gentlemen! This is how you welcome a beautiful woman? She looks magnificent!" Bridget von Hammersmark exclaimed gesturing towards Y/N.

"It's so uncomfortable," Y/N frowned and tried to adjust the dress a little, "and so impractical." 

"I think it's perfect." Aldo breathed out and Bridget smiled in satisfaction.

Y/N truly looked like a completely new person. And Aldo's feelings mixed once again. She was so special to him, like water is special to desert. His life was dry without an excitment. She was the water that refreshed him after a long time of loneliness.

•••

Bridget, Aldo, Y/N, Donny and Omar stepped into the small local cinema, already so full of Nazi officers.

"It makes me sick." Y/N snorted as she looked around on the German uniforms. "I have two knives and a gun and I'm not afraid to use them right now."

Aldo laughed next to her and gallantly put his hand on her hip pulling her closely to him.

"Just relax, darlin'. We'll do that later." Aldo winked at her, not letting her go for a moment.

Bridget suddenly seemed like she'd seen a ghost. An older man approached their little group and Y/N immediately understood with whom they have the honor.

Bridget and Hans Landa shared a short conversation before they turned to them. Hammersmark formally introduced the Basterds and Y/N flinched a little under the German's look. Aldo noticed right away her change of attitude and stroked her hip gently.

"Sei assolutamente incredibile, signorina! Ho notato che molti ufficiali hanno voltato la testa dopo di te." (You look absolutely stunning, miss! I noticed that many officers turned their head after you.) Hans Landa grinned and Y/N thought it was the most disgusting thing ever.

"Grazie mille signore. Sono sicuro che stai esagerando." (Thank you very much, sir. I'm sure you're exaggerating.) Y/N faked a smile and clenched her hand in fist to remain calm.

All of the Basterds with Bridget jerked their heads towards her. Her fluent Italian took them away as well as Landa.

"Quanto amo la lingua italiana! E dalla bocca di una donna così bella, è una musica per le mie orecchie." (How I love the Italian language! And from the mouth of such a beautiful lady, it's a music for my ears.)

"Mi stai adulando, signor Landa. Non hai un brutto aspetto." (You're flattering me, Mr Landa. You don't look so bad yourself.) Y/N felt like vomitting any next second. 

Aldo had enough of Landa's fake attitude, especially how Y/N looked so stressed and angry. He decided he has to step in or she won't hold herself back. Aldo recalled the one sentence he learnt yesterday, just in case he'd need to interrupt a moment in a formal way. This was the time.

"Baciami, adesso." (Kiss me, right now.) he stated and pulled Y/N even closer than before. She didn't manage to prostest or ask a quick question and their lips touched. She returned the kiss immediately and ran her fingers through his hair.

Until someone coughed.

They pulled apart from each other, Aldo smiling widely like a winner and Y/N blushing harder than ever.

"Ci scusi signore. Il mio ragazzo qui è un tipo appassionato. Devi perdonarlo." (Excuse us, sir. My boyfriend here is the passionate kind. You must forgive him.) Y/N stuttered and but looked directly at Landa.

•••

Operation Kino was over and it was now only her, Aldo and Utivich. They lost everybody along the way. They stood together side by side through everything. They'd become something stronger than family, friends, lovers. They faced death together and nothing could break the bond they'd created over the years. It was time to go home.

Y/N stood on the ship that was taking the Basterds, or what was left of them, home. The wind was dancing on her hair whispering secrets in her ears.

"I never thought I'd make it back home." Aldo Raine appeared next to her with a cigarette between his lips.

"None of us thought so, Lieutenant." she nodded, "but the difference is, we were wrong. Not them."

"Smart as always." Aldo grinned as he turned to her. "You should stop calling me Lieutenant. The war's over."

Y/N giggled at his statement and he could swear he'd never heard something so melodic, something so right. 

"It kinda sticked with you, Lieutenant."

Aldo didn't answer, instead he threw away the cigarette and took some deep breaths. He needed whiskey, or anything else that would give him at least a bit of courage.

Aldo Raine fought in war, he saw his friends die, he was broken by everything he saw and still, asking Y/N a simple question seemed harder than surviving the bloodshed.

"Spill it out, Lieutenant." she laughed as she glanced at him. 

"I hate how ya always do that. But here it goes," Aldo replied, "I've never been good at this so I'll just keep it short."

He stopped for a moment and stared at the woman in front of him. As he stepped closer, his heart was already racing like it'd never before.

"Why don't ya come to the States with me? We can buy some little house in the Smoky Mountains and live there for the rest of our fuckin' lives." Aldo confessed in his Raine kind of way, looking at her with so much hope in his eyes. 

"Is this some kind of your proposal?" Y/N chuckled as she intertwined her fingers with his.

"Maybe."

"I thought you'd never ask! Of course I'll come with you! You're everything I have, Aldo." 

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

Dating Beverly Marsh Would Include...

Requested: [I'm sorry I can't remember who requested this or if this was an anon, I'm sorry!] Hey, could I request some headcanons about dating Beverly? (Also if you could add in the reader having homophobic parents 💕)

Warnings: obviously there will be homophobia, [at the end so people can skip if they need to read safely 😊] specifically from the readers parents so please feel free to skip if need be. And remember my blog is a safe space 💕 oh yeah theres also plenty of grammar/spelling errors i'm sure

A//n: This was WAY longer than I anticipated. I just kept coming up with more stuff and holy crap I love writing Bev x readers???? Please request more Bev Edit: this was in my drafts forever and again as much as i have been trying to get requests out in order, it's been pretty tough but at least this way stuff gets out sooner so here ya go.

Okay

First of all..

Y'all make the CUTEST COUPLE, OKAY?!

Like no joke

You know that cliche about girls stealing their boyfriends hoodies/clothes??

Well that goes for both of you and you both are always swapping clothes cause you both love each other's sense of style

Plus, ya know, it's got that great boyfriend girlfriend smell

It's cheesy and played out, but it's honestly so wholesome, and again, you guys each have an interest in each others senses of styles

If you're bigger than her, and her clothes don't necessarily fit you, pfffttt no big deal, she had a million blankets that smelled like her and then you two got together and now she can only find like,, two. But that doesn't mean she doesn't love stealing your clothes!! They're baggier on her but oH MY GOODNESS DOES SHE LOVE THAT. She just loves being able to completely immerse herself in your stuff. Especially when she isn't feeling safe in her own home and you aren't around, the best thing for her is to wrap herself in her your stuff and be comforted by you. Uggh, its hella sweet

But let's start from the beginning...

Both of you knew about each other from school

You definitely heard the many rumors about "Beaver-ly Marsh"

Not that you participated, but you were always overhearing rumors from gossiping girls and bragging boys in your class

Your school wasn't huge but it wasn't small either

But it was kill or be be killed, and rumors spread like the damn plague

It was inevitable

And it was just a matter of time before you overheard the several rumors of the "slut" who did it with every guy in school.

You'd roll you're eyes at the word and the ridiculous insinuations, knowing the massively overplayed game of telephone that ruled your school was not necessary the most credible source of information

And you were positive there were rumors about you, I mean, it really wasn't possible to go to that school without a rumor going around

Everyone had one

Anyways, you never paid much attention to them, but then you met her...

And oh no.

Immediately, it was:

You already never paid much mind to the rumors, but when you got to know each other??

Nuh uh.

No way

Not Beverly

No no no no, no

She was way too sweet, and shy, and beautiful, and awesome, and funny, annnd oh no the damn butterflies were back and shit she made you feel things

And you??

Bevery had no clue she was into girls until you came along...

You were her gay awakening and her being so used to all those nasty things people said about her and all those boys??

Even though it wasn't true, any of it, she still always expected that eventually one day she'd get her first boyfriend, to love and cuddle with and everything normal

Again, then you came along and her heart was all like

BOOM BOOM BEECH

You both danced around each other a lot. Seeing as you were two precious little gay beans that lived in a conservative town in the 80s, it wasn't exactly the most accepting environment and you guys didn't know if the other was into girls at all

On both sides it was "does she like me or is she just really laid back and friendly???"

It took way too long to figure out you were both into each other

If I'm being completely honest here, y'all were like the female reddie

Two girls who became best friends and always bickered like crazy to hide your feelings

The way you two found out you had feelings for one another was bumpy and awkward but silly and cute nonetheless

It came off in a passing comment that just slipped out

The two of you were having a sleepover like you did every Friday night you were available

and you two were laying on her bedroom floor talking about anything and everything staring at the ceiling

Her radio was playing in the background and the two of you were surrounded by various snacks you had been munching on all throughout the night and the conversation drifted to gossip about your peers at school

It went a little something like this:

Y: "Did you see so and so today??"

B: "Yes!!"

Y: *laughing* "Yeah, what the hell was that?"

B: I have no idea what goes on in her head...

B: but I guess I gotta give her some credit, she's always super confident and I'm like, 90% sure that's what makes her the most desirable girl in the 8th grade"

Y: "I guess that makes sense"

B: "I do wish I had her confidence. Maybe I'd have better luck romantically"

Y: "Oh please, like you need that. You're infinitely more attractive than her"

B: "What?"

Y: *panicked* "What?"

B: *slowly sits up with smug ass smirk on her lips* are you saying you find me... attractive?"

Y: ..."what?" *sweating*

B: *still smirking* "Wait,"

Y: "WhAT?"

B: *stILL smirking* "do you-?"

Y: *full on gay panic* "No!"

B: *smirking and blushing*

B: *lays back down* "well, I think you're pretty attractive yourself, if it's any consolation"

She's still so nervous though so it comes out in a whisper

She's 99 percent certain you just accidentally revealed your crush to her but her heart was p o u n d i n g anyway

What if it just came out wrong and that's why you panicked???

Had she just revealed her crush to you by mistake???

But no

You both were a blushing mess and it did not go unnoticed by either one of you

You're hands kinda accidently brushed and you both just had a heart attack on the spot

But the connection you two had that night

You both just... knew

You guys kinda just... happened

After that you both were aware you liked each other

But it was kind of unspoken

At first

It's not like you guys never talked about it, but you two definitely became more touchy and flirty

Holding hands when no one was looking

Shortly before you guys happened and before that night, she had introduced you to losers and they just totally accepted you as one of their own

You got along especially well with Richie (wonder why)

But Bev wasn't too happy about this particular fact...

Especially after you two got together

She wasn't necessarily jealous, especially cause she already had a sneaking suspicion about his feelings for another loser, but because he took up a lot of her time with you

But then, to her chagrin, Richie found out about you two

the eight of you were hanging out in the clubhouse, and Ben had to make some adjustments so him and the others left momentarily to help him get the resources

Except you, and Bev

You two volunteered to hold down the fort [literally]

aaaaaaand you two wanted to have a few minutes alone together too,

Nothing scandalous or anything like that, but you two didn't get be close around the losers

Then Richie returned way earlier than expected [turns out he was doing more harm than good and they sent him back]

He was just outside the entrance and he overheard you two

"I wish we could tell them,"

"I know. And it's not that I don't think they'll accept us, it's-" *sigh* "I'm just not ready... I'm sorry"

"Don't be. It's okay, we can tell them when we're both good and ready."

"Thank you, Y/n."

Richie just kinda stood there thinking about what he just heard

I mean, it made sense, you guys were really close, but then again, that's just how he thought all girls were

But everything else kinda made more sense the more he thought about it

And, it honestly reminded him of him and Eddie

More specifically, how he felt about his best friend

Now naturally this was a very emotional moment, but Richie Tozier being Richie Tozier wasn't about to waltz in there and give some sappy speech about he accepts you guys and he's here for you no matter what

No, no, no

He laid down on the forest floor, sticking his head in the clubhouse scaring the shit out of you two and said

"You guys should really be more quiet, Ben may be a suspiciously good overnight kid architect sensation but he has yet to soundproof this baby"

He then stuck his arm inside the clubhouse, patting the ceiling, shaking a couple spiders loose from his his hand in disgust

"Richie...!"

You two jumped apart and you about nearly shit your pants

"Relax, I'm not gonna tell anyone,"

You both were startled as hell and absolutely disgruntled but the two of you looked at each other, simultaneously breathing a sigh of relief

He got up and joined you two in the clubhouse, and began lounging in his usual spot in the hammock, arms behind his head

"So, this means you two are both into girls, huh?"

Once again, you looked at one another and back at him, nodding shyly

He plastered on the most mischievous smirk you had ever seen and nodded his head, his huge eyes squinting slightly from behind his glasses

"niceee"

This of course was followed by simultaneous eye rolls, Bev even threw her gum wrapper at him but you laughed

It was a relieved laugh

Here you were, exposed and unintentionally outed to Richie "Trashmouth" Tozier and sure enough his reaction was "nICE"

It was honestly a relief and kinda hilarious

You guys just kinda broke out into laughter

It was nice moment

***TRIGGER WARNING FOR [PARENTAL] HOMOPHOBIA BELOW***

And for a while, everything was great. That was, until your parents began to take note just how much time you were spending with Bev

They kept an eye on it at first

Then they started asking questions

You knew this day would come one way or another

Hell, you grew up with them after all, you knew what they thought about people like you and it broke your heart

It terrified you

And it's exactly what you heard every night when you tried to fall asleep, their voices speaking to you clear as day; how disgusted they were. They weren't really there of course and it wasn't until you became a loser that you found out what that voice was...

The point is, your deepest fear was being realized so you did what you could do

Lie

And it seemed to work. Briefly

Your mother had come in to check on you two for the fifth time - usually she checked on you two four times since their suspicions - and found you two snuggled up on top of your sleeping bags

Your mother screamed, scaring the crap out of you guys and you jumped apart

Your mother was thrown into hysterics and went to fetch your father, wailing like a damn baby

Needless to say that night was a long one for everyone

And as if things couldn't get any worse, just days later you found out that Beverly had been taken by It

Immediately, every doubt, every fear, every inkling of shame your parents and your community had drilled into you was forgotten and all that mattered was getting her back

You and your friends literally went through hell to get her back

Needless to say it was a terrifying ordeal but you all had each other's backs and everyone came out okay

When you left Neibolt, you and Beverly were hand in hand

You couldn't give a flying fck about it, you just fought a shape-shifting demon clown you could face your small minded parents

And more importantly you knew even if your parents didn't support you, you had other people who did that and that was enough

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Hope you enjoyed, sorry it's so long and again this is out of order of who requested it so I'm sorry to those of you who had stuff in before this, but I've just been stuck for too long and I needed to get things moving again. Anyways, I hoped you guys like this and again, omg I love writing Beverly!!! I would not be offended if you guys asked for more Bev fics/hc when I open up requests again

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: 🖕🖕🖕 Janis: Just in case you were thinking I was too nice Jimmy: nah Jimmy: only that you look it Jimmy: know better, don't I? Janis: 😈 for you baby Janis: 😂 and you're just bigging yourself up 'cos you picked the 'fit Jimmy: definitely tweet that Jimmy: maybe Janis: First bit or? Jimmy: yeah, can't give me credit for your clothes Jimmy: would sound like I'm a right controlling dickhead Janis: You don't want credit for all this 🔥🔥🔥? Jimmy: it's yours, babe Janis: You look cute Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: You look better but tah Janis: defs the best looking fake couple here Jimmy: the real couples can't compete 🥇 Janis: true Janis: not sorry everyone Jimmy: want another drink? I'll go Janis: I'm allowed Janis: Goody 😜 Jimmy: Can't challenge you then give you nowt to prove yourself with Janis: 🍾🍾🍾 Jimmy: don't make me change my mind, pisshead Janis: Joking, babes Janis: though it'll make your absence easier to bear 💔 Jimmy: if you're gonna be that funny, do it out loud Jimmy: give the fans what they need Janis: 😏 Janis: Find me on the dance floor then Jimmy: alright Jimmy: in a bit Janis: you gonna dance with me Jimmy: Gotta Jimmy: my moves are #goals Janis: believe it when i see it Janis: hold you up when you breathless Jimmy: hang on & you will Jimmy: yeah? I believe you just wanna hold me, girl Janis: Gotta show I missed you ain't I Jimmy: they'll believe it when they see it Jimmy: go on Janis: Challenge accepted Jimmy: do you wanna take a swig first or do I look THAT cute? 💕 Janis: 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: Gonna have to inspect you bit closer Jimmy: now's your chance Janis: Now I've got my drink might start looking REAL cute in a bit Jimmy: saying I don't now 💔 Jimmy: it's 'cause I dance too white 🎻🎻 Janis: Not bad Jimmy: you can piss off with the compliment I was gonna give you then Janis: Aww tell me Jimmy: no chance, dickhead Janis: How can I make you? Jimmy: you can't Janis: 😭 Jimmy: just don't make the actual face Jimmy: crying drunk girl ain't #goals Janis: #domestic Janis: gonna go get comforted by the other drunk girls Jimmy: nah come here Janis: if you insist Jimmy: I'll whisper it for you Janis: 😳 Jimmy: now you look cute Janis: shh, if i'm smiling too much at my phone they're gonna think it's not for you Jimmy: better stay here & put your phone down for a bit then Janis: I wanna 🚬 gimme one Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Be right back Janis: stay alive Jimmy: do my best Jimmy: didn't actually kill me by taking my breath away Janis: 🤷 Janis: you want me to try again Jimmy: do you wanna be 🥇 or nah? Janis: I've gotta, no wanna about it Jimmy: go on then Janis: [A smoke/moment later] Where you gone? Jimmy: kitchen Jimmy: where you need me to be? Janis: Stay there Janis: some countertop action gonna jog memories Jimmy: alright Jimmy: decent dedication Jimmy: you want me to clear you a space or are you gonna sweep the shit off dramatically for the oscar? Janis: Don't need to be getting that messy yet Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I think this stoves' been on recently Janis: concerning Jimmy: [picks her up and moves her 'cause EXCUSE ME you don't need to be this fucking hot lads] Jimmy: alright? Janis: yeah Janis: better Jimmy: that's a really good angle for you Jimmy: where's mia when we need her? Janis: fuck knows, crying 'bout it, eating another victim? Jimmy: gonna pop out the oven door Janis: 😂 tryna burn me, knew it Jimmy: was it hot as hell though? Janis: Close Jimmy: you're alright though, for real? Janis: 'Course Jimmy: can't afford a compensation claim you know, rich girl so no lying Janis: check if you wanna but unlike you i'm not down to show this entire party everything Jimmy: we can get some privacy, I'm not a total animal Janis: shame 😉 Jimmy: if that's a challenge think carefully about saying anything else 'cause you know I'll do it Janis: I'm thinking Janis: Hard Janis: can you tell? Jimmy: yeah Janis: Decisions decisions Jimmy: just don't look at me like that when you're trying to make 'em Janis: don't you wanna help me decide Janis: we're a team Jimmy: you just want me to help you win Janis: Can't we both? Jimmy: depends Jimmy: what are you thinking? Janis: I don't know if I can say Jimmy: whisper it then Jimmy: that don't count Janis: It's still scary though Jimmy: you don't have to tell me Janis: I want to but Jimmy: but? Janis: I don't know Janis: tell you later maybe Jimmy: alright Jimmy: let me know when you do Janis: 'Course Janis: Going loo Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: if you find any other drunk girls, chat about me Jimmy: #goals like Janis: duh, what else do we have in common? Janis: fuck ya bechdel test Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'm going outside find me when you're done Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🚬💕 Janis: I know 💔 was trying to ignore the other woman but it's impossible Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: find yourself one in the toilets, fair's fair Janis: 😑 Janis: Sometimes I think you forget why we're doing this Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: but like you said before, only human Jimmy: it's a hot scenario to think about Janis: Yeah? Janis: Maybe Jimmy: haven't you ever fucked a stranger at a party before? Janis: No one's a strange 'round here to me Janis: not properly Jimmy: I really am gonna have to take you up north then Jimmy: You're missing out Janis: What are you, my pimp? 😂 Jimmy: the cash would be good Janis: absolute prick Jimmy: it's a compliment, dickhead Jimmy: I told you, you look really good Janis: It is not! You're gonna need to work on your chat before you're allowed near a real girl Jimmy: well that's how I meant it Jimmy: sorry Janis: You're funny, it's cool Jimmy: You reckon I'm funny? Jimmy: that's funny Janis: You are Jimmy: you are Jimmy: when you're not being unfunny deliberately Janis: 'scuse you, I'm always on these days Janis: you're more demanding than Kubrick, that's all Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I'm the best fake boyfriend you've ever had Janis: One of one, congratulations baby 🎉 Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: come outside Janis: Are there other people out there Jimmy: nah, that's why I like it Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ?? Janis: Don't be angry or weird with me  just ignore it 'cos I'm drunk and this is the same as whispering so it don't count Janis: what if i wanna kiss you a bit even if no one's out there Jimmy: I already told you to come outside Jimmy: It's not just 'cause I can't finish a 🚬 without you Janis: it's alright, yeah Jimmy: I like kissing you Jimmy: You're good Janis: I like it too Janis: I wanna do it just 'cos, just once Jimmy: Let's just see what's it's like then Jimmy: without anyone looking at us Jimmy: might be shit Janis: If it is, or even if it isn't, I promise we don't have to again Jimmy: I'm not asking for you to promise that Jimmy: but alright Janis: I'm just saying, I won't be weird Jimmy: You're always weird, Janis Jimmy: Be weirder if you weren't Janis: 😩 Jimmy: let me give you a compliment, dickhead Janis: You've called me a freak and a good potential prostitute Janis: somehow I still really want you Jimmy: I told you ages ago, I'm better at not talking Janis: I know Janis: but I like talking too, you know Jimmy: don't get weird about it but it's alright talking to you too Jimmy: it's just not what I wanna do right this second Janis: Me either Janis: fighting my way downstairs as we speak Jimmy: #goals Janis: It's kinda rude like excuse me whilst you're all getting yours you're in my way Janis: gonna start kicking Jimmy: it's rude for you to let me imagine that Jimmy: if I didn't know better I'd reckon you do want me to die Janis: Payback, if you feel even half of what I'm feeling Jimmy: I feel Jimmy: I can't tell you Jimmy: But Janis: Not even if you whisper? Jimmy: Just let me show you, alright Janis: I want that Janis: make me feel it Jimmy: get downstairs & outside then Janis: Fuck Janis: Okay Jimmy: now, if you can Janis: [After 'cos well] Jimmy: so much for staying alone Jimmy: let's go back in Janis: okay Janis: sure Jimmy: drink? Janis: Please Jimmy: [takes her hand 'cause cute] Jimmy: come with Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: do we talk about that or nah, genuine question Jimmy: depends Jimmy: do you wanna or nah? Janis: I just wanna know if you thought it was shit or not, that's all Jimmy: did you think it was shit? Janis: I mean, obviously not Janis: I meant to touch you more but then I just Janis: forgot Jimmy: if you didn't think it was shit why would I? Jimmy: shit that we can't be left alone for a fucking sec when we wanna be but like Janis: that's why we were doing it, yeah, to see if it was without everyone watching Janis: and then that twat shows up, should let 'em all know 🚬 kills then we might have outside to ourselves Jimmy: least he can let everyone know that we continue to be #goals Janis: true Janis: win win Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: ['fixes' her hair for her 'cause that's the kind of shameless excuse we're going with here] Janis: Shit, do I look a state? Jimmy: You look Jimmy: you know Jimmy: good Janis: Tah Jimmy: I just like touching you Jimmy: for real Janis: I like you touching me Janis: do it more often Janis: whenever you like Jimmy: after tonight? Janis: Yeah Janis: We don't have to stop there, do we? Jimmy: ask me when you aren't pissed, girl Jimmy: if you can Janis: Don't Janis: I'm not Jimmy: we are Janis: alright Jimmy: it don't mean I don't want to Jimmy: I'm not saying that Jimmy: but we can't pretend we aren't Janis: Yeah, okay Jimmy: just ask me tomorrow Jimmy: or whenever Janis: I will Janis: don't pretend you can't remember Janis: you aren't that drunk, I know Jimmy: don't pretend you can't Janis: can't remember or can't ask Jimmy: both of 'em Janis: I won't Janis: I might bottle it though Jimmy: stop looking at your phone for a sec & look at me Jimmy: you won't Janis: Okay Janis: I won't Janis: tomorrow then Jimmy: what now though? Janis: do you have to go home or can we stay Jimmy: I don't wanna go home Janis: I know Janis: let's go back but just smoke in the garden Janis: I'm bored of everyone here Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: are you gonna stay at mine again? Janis: I don't wanna go home either Janis: but I can, if I have to Jimmy: then stay Jimmy: same deal as before Janis: Okay Jimmy: now? Janis: Is there anything else you wanna do before Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause really there's your answer] Jimmy: nowt else Janis: Works for me Jimmy: [kisses her again 'cause extra] Janis: Tell me why we have to wait 'til tomorrow again Jimmy: I don't remember Janis: You look so good Jimmy: You feel so good Jimmy: & you taste like Janis: Jimmy Janis: [Kisses him why not] Jimmy: You hardly ever kiss me first Jimmy: you know Janis: I want to, have wanted to, loads of times Jimmy: do it more Jimmy: from now on Janis: okay Janis: ask me tomorrow, boy Jimmy: I'm asking you now Jimmy: in writing Jimmy: girl Janis: It's a deal, then Jimmy: alright good Janis: It feels good doing this 'cos I want to Jimmy: yeah Janis: i'm not being pushy am i Janis: i can go home its no big Jimmy: I don't want you to Janis: just checking Janis: i'll stay then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: knock if i need anything, right? Jimmy: or we could just stay together Jimmy: maybe Janis: it is your bed Jimmy: but I offered it to you Janis: I want you more Jimmy: [kisses her again 'cause damn Janis go off okay] Janis: You literally keep getting better I wish you didn't have to stop Jimmy: I don't Janis: You do here, on this random's sofa Jimmy: alright but gimme one more Jimmy: for the road or whatever Janis: [Another kiss] Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: let's just Jimmy: go Jimmy: that's what I need to say, isn't it? Janis: Yes Janis: exactly Janis: take me home Jimmy: come on then