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kikuism · 2 years ago

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i want to share my five star reads of the year so far. these are the books that made for the most immersive reading experience, that taught me something about writing on both an emotional and a technical level, and most importantly, these are the books i had the most fun reading.

the green bone saga, fonda lee: i can't even explain the grip this series has on me. i expected to like it, certainly, but not this much and not with so much fervor ... it truly has Everything, and it's so, so well done. fonda lee has created such a fleshed out, actualized world, vibrant and bursting at the seams with lush, loving detail and a cast of characters to match. from start to finish i was invested in these characters and their story. it's about an intergenerational blood feud between rival clans, chock full of magic, martial arts, and politics both domestic and international, but at heart, it's an epic drama about family, honor, duty, and loyalty, and it made me feel every possible spectrum of emotion; by the end i felt pleasantly wrung out like an old, loved washcloth. it wasn't just the grand, sweeping scale of the story, but also the tender character interactions that made this series so, so special, so raw and real. it was very hard for me to move on to other books after i'd finished this series; i’d just been on a journey spanning thirty years, and had just left characters that felt so real and familiar to me. it's extremely challenging to pull off a feat of this size and scale, but fonda lee astounded me with her skill. she's a truly capable writer.

no exit, taylor adams: believe it or not, this was my second ever thriller, and no one is more surprised than me at the chokehold it had me in ... the twists and turns and reveals in this book had me gasping vibrating on the edge of my seat, heart racing, sitting up straight. i actually couldn't lie down and read this. i picked this up because i take a special pleasure in stories that take place in the blistering, isolating confines of winter storms, and this one takes place entirely in a rest stop on the mountains. darby is a college student who is driving home for the holidays, but the storm forces her to take shelter in a remote rest stop, where the other four characters in the cast are also taking refuge. outside, darby makes a discovery as she struggles for cell phone signal: in the back of the van parked next to her car lies a little girl trapped in an animal cage. someone at the rest stop is a suspect, and darby makes up her mind to save the girl no matter what. it's this decision that kickstarts a chain of events that i, quite frankly, was not expecting in the slightest or equipped to handle, for the sheer explosiveness with which they fire one after another. who can she trust, and who is going to make it out alive until the snow plows come in the morning? the whole thing takes place in the span of 8 hours, and i haven't read a crazier 8 hours anywhere else in my life. this particularly horrifying predicament the characters find themselves in along with the forced confinement to a single setting made for such a whirlwind and compelling read; there was nowhere else for the tension to go but inward, building and building. like the characters, i too felt the walls closing in around me the longer i kept reading, the dread and paranoia seeping into my blood and gnawing away at my nerves. this was absolutely a wild ride from start to finish. the only other time i felt this buzzed reading a book was stephen king's misery. the author is a master in stretching the tension out till it's unbearable and making it snap in the most explosive way.

the last unicorn, peter beagle: proves that sometimes the best stories are the simplest. i was so utterly charmed by this sweet, luscious fairy tale of a story. the writing is absolutely sublime, and the cast of characters is so rich and fun to follow. to try to explain the story is to cheapen it, in my opinion, so do yourself a favor and just read it; you've got to read it to experience its magic. you will be swept away in the gorgeous, lush prose that feels like the stuff of dreams. i wish i could write half as beautifully.

how to sell a haunted house, grady hendrix: this is an honorable mention... it's not quite on the same level as the others, but it's close. i wasn't expecting to enjoy this one so much, but the longer i think about it, the more i recall just how much fun this was to read, even if it's actually closer to a 4.5 than a 5. louise and mark are estranged siblings whose parents' death forces them back together; there's the matter of selling their parents' house, but there's just one problem: it's haunted. by what, you may ask? by their mother's art collection: an entire legion of handmade puppets that was her life's work and which both mark and louise have quite complicated and fucked up relationships with. i really enjoyed how the siblings have to make amends with each other because that's the only way they can tackle head-on the unresolved trauma they both have from growing up in that house, personified in the army of puppets who is quite literally out to kill them, spearheaded by the leader, pupkin, who was their mother's first puppet. this was equal parts terrifying, heartfelt, and hilarious. i do love a good sibling dynamic, and dolls in particular have always scared me ever since i was little, and that really factored into my enjoyment for this book.

i’m tagging @schech and @mimires and whoever else wants to share their five star reads❕📚

#i'd love to know what everyone's been reading and to discover a potential new favorite!!

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k-s-morgan · 1 year ago

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Thanks a lot for the update!! It's amazing to read Tom and Harry's interactions, the different way they see the world and how they complement each other!! I have a few questions, is that ok? Tom had said in previous chapters that he didn't see much in Harry as a person, does he still think that way? Does Tom realize that Harry is someone who cares about others and will never fully belong to anyone or does he still see him as a pet? And that slap, man, that was personal, Tom wants to be Harry's only family but he still doesn't think of Harry as family, right? I think the Tom of now just wants to take everything he can out of Harry, the thought of reprocity must not even have come to his mind yet lol And Harry.. oh man, I don't know if he noticed but I don't think he treats Tom like a friend, it seems to be something between enemy and a lover, oh I don't know! maybe I'm rushing but the way Harry took Tom's hand (TWICE AAAAA) gave me an "I'm with you" vibe I still get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it!! I wonder what Tom was thinking when Harry took his hand in front of Dumbledore and then when it was just the two of them!! Aa Katrin, you are certainly my favorite author!!🙇‍♀️❤️❤️ and again thanks you so much!!!

Thank you for such an amazing review, I'm so happy you liked this new chapter! I really enjoy writing about these versions of Tom and Harry. They are so drawn to each other, I can barely keep them apart, lol.

And sure, I love questions! Tom's opinion on Harry has certainly evolved. Harry brought something uniquely new into his life, so he finds himself appreciating the banter, the kind of devotion where Harry supports him but still criticizes him, even his own possessiveness. Tom is still not sure about it, but he likes doing small things to take care of Harry. I'd say that this enjoyment has a pretty condescending nature for now, but it's progress nonetheless. Tom considers Harry his person and he likes exploring the nuances and limits of this new relationship and dynamic. So at this point, he does see something in Harry. He understands that Harry is a potential leader and a threat, but he's too immersed in their bond for it to take precedence.

It's not that he considers Harry a pet, but he doesn't acknowledge him as an actual individual either, not entirely. Tom is just not used to people being what Harry is supposed to be to him. He considers everyone either a tool, someone worthless, or an enemy. Harry got into a separate new category, and Tom doesn't know what to do or how to feel about him yet. It's obvious in the scene where he tries to comfort Harry by stroking his hair. It's awkward and weird, and Tom is never awkward with others. On the contrary, other people know him as charming and smooth. That's because he's constantly manipulating and pretending with everyone - with Harry, he's stuck somewhere in the middle. He's trying on a new role and he's not very good at it yet. Their bond is so new that he's only starting to figure it out.

With reciprocation, it's pretty complex. Tom understands that if he wants Harry to feel something for him, he needs to reciprocate. So he's been trying to do it in some ways, like by helping Harry re-discover his appetite. Tom thinks Harry could be his potential family because he believes this occured in another universe. He's determined to make it happen again, to recreate it, and he acknowledges that he has to make an effort, too. But the majority of the things he does come from his logic. He realizes that Harry is looking for mutuality, so he's making conscious and calculated choices to give it to him. Very little of it is instinctive and emotionally genuine. But these moments will be increasing with every chapter.

It's funny because Harry and Tom are basically playing a game. Harry created a setting with fictional characters and now they both work to correspond to it and to become someone they never were. Harry is playing someone who loved Tom, who considered him the focus of everything, and he's gradually buying into his own lies. Tom is also playing, trying to recreate something that never really happened, not knowing that what he strives for, what he's prepared to change himself for bit by bit is a complete and total lie.

I honestly thought canon Harry felt vague, distant attraction to Tom Riddle, with how obsessed he seemed to be with his beauty, so I'm playing it up in this story, where Harry spends so much time with him and is determined to get close to him. I think he's attracted to Tom already, even though he doesn't realize it, and since his own lies get to him, a part of him started to believe in the universe where only the two of them mattered - emotionally, at least. Harry begins to treat Tom like someone he loves, even though he doesn't love him yet, and I find it fascinating to describe and explore it.

In a scene where Harry grabbed Tom's hand in front of Dumbledore, Tom felt reassured, and because it's a new and strange feeling, he promptly felt curious and wary. Later, when Harry took his hand again in the Room of Requirement, Tom felt complete. Like he wasn't alone now, like he wouldn't be alone ever again. He never thought that Harry might want to come with him. It's one thing for Harry to love and care about his (made-up) Tom, but to be willing to risk his life and sanity for this new version? Tom cannot comprehend it - he's stunned, captivated, amazed. It means a huge deal to him.

He'd be even more stunned if he knew that Harry's story is bullshit and that Harry is willing to risk his safety for someone who was always his enemy :D That's typical Harry, though.

#my fics #tomarry #tom riddle #harry potter

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pizza-feverdream · 1 year ago

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Wow these are actually good tag game questions. Gotta say reading through I agreed with a lot of your answers but I immediately forgot which ones lol

Here we go

1.) describe yourself through the eyes of a stranger? Scared looking or spaced out, quiet and maybe snippy (if stranger in particular is a customer)

2.) what is a quality you’d like to change about yourself? I wish I didn't get angry and mean when I'm overwhelmed, and I wish I didn't isolate myself instead of trying to make friends

3.) what is your worst potential fear for the future? That's I'll be chronically by myself. And that it'll be my fault for not having learned enough about how to be with people.

4.) which television series do you use as a form of escapism? I could watch Gravity Falls on repeat

5.) share a secret about yourself? I used to have a problem with maladaptive daydreaming, but then I learned I could write instead so I do that now. It feels healthier

6.) if you could choose any place in the world to visit, where would it be? why? I want to go back to Pennsylvania, for various reasons, but somewhere new? I wanna see what Canada is like. In the winter. Even though I'm 99% sure I'd hate it, I've seen snow about twice in my life, and I just want to see SO MUCH OF IT like in the movies? Idk

7.) what advice would you give your childhood self? Don't attach yourself to one person, and not try to interact with anyone else. Also, a lot of the time it feels like you've always been in a panicked, or depressed state, but you gotta remember that it's temporary and had a cause. You're not broken

8.) describe how you envision your ideal life partner? Just someone who is genuinely kind and loves me. Hope that's not too much to ask for

9.) what is your favorite environmental season? why? Winter. Cause that's the only time in Texas we have pleasant weather (60-70 degrees(or 15-20⁰, spiderlad)

10.) what’s one book you’d suggest every person should read? The giver series. Not everyone even knows its a series. It's very well-done, makes you think

11.) what is one song that’s able to bring you to tears? When love takes you in by steven Curtis Chapman. Havent listened to it in SEVERAL years, but that's something my mom used to play a lot and it hits me like a ton of bricks when I hear it in the wild.

12.) describe your best friend? :D Don't have one

13.) what was the premise of your last dream? I think I was at the dermatologist and she was looking at my head and telling me how dumb I was for coming in here, nothings wrong with you

14.) what’s your favorite warm beverage? Apple cider, next question

15.) name one musical album that greatly impacted your life? why? So just this year, I've made MAJOR leaps in like, differentiating myself from my family and figuring out what I like. This has included watching things like dhmis and toh and even anything on Cartoon Network that I previously wouldn't have thought to, or wouldn't have been allowed to watch. Thats also included branching out my musical tastes, and the first example of that was when I stumbled upon Jack Stauber earlier this year. It totally rewired my brain and I've been having so much fun finding things like that and discovering, Hey! I like this stuff! Me!

16.) what’s your favorite form of flattery? When I'll be rambling on (rare) about something I love and the other person is actually listening (extra rare)

17.) what’s your favorite painting? and describe how it makes you feel? I don't remember the artist, but did you happen to see the post circulating about the guy who's paintings looked like bad cgi or something? Those were cool

18.) describe your personal style? This is something else I'm just starting to learn about myself! Just... not enough to describe it yet! :D

19.) what was the last concept that inspired you? This is gonna sound really stupid, but seeing brother sister relationships in media, especially dramatic ones (think dipper and mabel or something similar) is making me want to, and kinda helping me, improve my relationship with MY brother.

20.) who was your very first artistic inspiration? I think the thing that finally REALLY got me into drawing was watching the Loud House, actually. It's not even a style I've ever used, but idk. Made me want to draw (also several different animation youtubers, you know which ones I'm talking about)

21.) how long have you used tumblr for? how has your style changed over the years? I got it this July lol

22.) what was your first cell phone? A little flip phone my mom had to buy minutes for off of cards. Well... is that a smartphone? If that doesn't count, then it was an IPhone 5s. I had that thing for years. It has all sorts of good pictures on it. It's in my room, but the screen is unresponsive, after the little boy I used to tutor went to toss it to me when we were playing online pool together, and it dropped on their concrete floor

23.) what is your favorite fruit flavor? Blackberry or cherry

24.) whom would you resurrect from the afterlife? which 3 questions would you ask them? I would love to meet Bob Ross. I don't want to ask him anything, just vibe

25.) if you could choose only one meal to eat for the remainder of your life, which would you choose? In all honesty, I'm very tired right now and this question is stumping me. Maybe I'll think of something tomorrow (she lied)

26.) which of the 7 deadly sins do you struggle with the most? and which the least? Most, envy. Least, sloth (mostly just cause I feel an all-encompassing, choking shame if I'm not being productive in some capacity)

27.) your latest obsession? and why? The song Mary on a Cross. I've heard it on tiktok ofc, but I actually LISTENED to it the other day and audibly said "oh, this is fantastic" I've listened to it at least 3x a day since. I'm not okay

28.) if you could domesticate any animal as your pet, which would you choose? A squirrel. That would be fun

29.) what’s your least favorite smell? So a couple years ago for my biology class we did a bunch of disections, but even those weren't as bad as the time in that class we blended up peas and mixed them with hand sanitizer. That was 3 years ago and it still haunts me.

30.) favorite mythological creature? and why? It's been a long long time since my pjo days, but I remember liking satyrs

31.) name a scene from a movie that makes you cringe? Anything family related, especially siblings. They CANNOT WILL NOT ever be able to replicate what that's like. It's impossible.

32.) favorite piece of memorabilia you own? I don't really have any? I made a Red Guy crochet little doll thing a while ago but idk if that counts

33.) your personal favorite oddity about yourself? One time a mutual told me in one of those "is the person you rb this from" polls that I was star coded, they said "cause she sees media she likes and NYOOOM she's off to go make fanart" and that has stuck with me

34.) favorite concert/show you’ve attended? I haven't been to any concerts, but when I was like 10 I went to see Frog and Toad the musical. That was fantastic (or I remember it being fantastic)

35.) what’s one thing you would tell to the last person who betrayed you? So far, luckily, no one had betrayed me, but there's someone who thinks they did, and I want him to know it's okay. Really.

36.) your favorite mantra to live by? Adam Savage said in Mythbusters one time "I reject your reality, and substitute my own!" Which I started saying as a joke, not actually taking a second to think about what it means. Then I thought about it, related it to mdd, got scared of it, then realized it didn't have to be about that. I still live by that, but now to me it means that yeah, the world is a shitty place, but I can make it nicer for myself.

37.) do you have any strange habits? When I come back from bringing a customer their food, I'll slap the little number tent thing against my hand, between my thumb and finger. Also, when I put socks on, if I don't turn the socks inside out and shake them off, and dust off my feet, my feet will feel dirty all day. Also I excessively flex my wrists when I get stressed.

38.) what’s your favorite white-noise to fall asleep to? I sleep with a powerful box fan every night, even in the winter

39.) what is your favorite gemstone? why? I've only seen a little bit if Steven Universe, but it made me look up what bismuth looks like irl and. I mean. Look

Wizard of Oz type shit. Lovely fantastic 10/10

40.) how do you choose to cope when you’re upset? I isolate myself, shut out sounds with headphones if possible, and if I feel up to it try to draw

41.) what are you currently trying to accomplish? I need to buy a car, and apply for a different job.

42.) what’s your favorite item you’ve purchased secondhand? I don't do a lot a thrifting, but I've found some decent things at goodwill

43.) describe your personality is only 3 words? Anxious, funny, tired

44.) how is your relationship with your parents? Very good, fortunately

48.) which animal would you be the most terrified to encounter? Polar bears. We watched a docu-series called Soemthjng Bit me. They're TERRIFYING

45.) an instrument you aspire to learn how to play? I don't actually see myself learning, but I used to play the piano and I would like to do that again

46.) relate yourself to one movie character? Paul blart, next question

47.) least favorite music genre? why? Country. You meet people who make it their whole personality down here and it sours it for me

49.) name a public figure you find to be overrated? why? Mr. Beast. I think he exploits people in low places for clout, under the guise of "charity"

50.) what purpose do you get out of using tumblr? It lets me connect to people when I otherwise never have the opportunity to

Let's see.. @mackthecheese @sebwritesstories it's a lot a lot so no pressure

50 Q’s

1.) describe yourself through the eyes of a stranger? 2.) what is a quality you’d like to change about yourself? 3.) what is your worst potential fear for the future? 4.) which television series do you use as a form of escapism? 5.) share a secret about yourself? 6.) if you could choose any place in the world to visit, where would it be? why? 7.) what advice would you give your childhood self? 8.) describe how you envision your ideal life partner? 9.) what is your favorite environmental season? why? 10.) what’s one book you’d suggest every person should read? 11.) what is one song that’s able to bring you to tears? 12.) describe your best friend? 13.) what was the premise of your last dream? 14.) what’s your favorite warm beverage? 15.) name one musical album that greatly impacted your life? why? 16.) what’s your favorite form of flattery? 17.) what’s your favorite painting? and describe how it makes you feel? 18.) describe your personal style? 19.) what was the last concept that inspired you? 20.) who was your very first artistic inspiration? 21.) how long have you used tumblr for? how has your style changed over the years? 22.) what was your first cell phone? 23.) what is your favorite fruit flavor? 24.) whom would you resurrect from the afterlife? which 3 questions would you ask them? 25.) if you could choose only one meal to eat for the remainder of your life, which would you choose? 26.) which of the 7 deadly sins do you struggle with the most? and which the least? 27.) your latest obsession? and why? 28.) if you could domesticate any animal as your pet, which would you choose? 29.) what’s your least favorite smell? 30.) favorite mythological creature? and why? 31.) name a scene from a movie that makes you cringe? 32.) favorite piece of memorabilia you own? 33.) your personal favorite oddity about yourself? 34.) favorite concert/show you’ve attended? 35.) what’s one thing you would tell to the last person who betrayed you? 36.) your favorite mantra to live by? 37.) do you have any strange habits? 38.) what’s your favorite white-noise to fall asleep to? 39.) what is your favorite gemstone? why? 40.) how do you choose to cope when you’re upset? 41.) what are you currently trying to accomplish? 42.) what’s your favorite item you’ve purchased secondhand? 43.) describe your personality is only 3 words? 44.) how is your relationship with your parents? 45.) an instrument you aspire to learn how to play? 46.) relate yourself to one movie character? 47.) least favorite music genre? why? 48.) which animal would you be the most terrified to encounter? 49.) name a public figure you find to be overrated? why? 50.) what purpose do you get out of using tumblr?

#ty for the tag spiderlad <3 #moots #tag game #ask game

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let-them-read-fics · 4 years ago

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Blackpink Reaction To Their S/O Struggling W/ Drug Addiction

Warnings / Misc. -- ⚠️ Sensitive Topic ⚠️, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

A/N: Hey everyone! This request covers a sensitive topic that I haven't been personally exposed to, but I hope that I do it justice. I did my best to handle it with care and be as realistic as possible. Let me know what you think!

PS -- I didn't specifically name any substances or describe them in too much detail; I wanted to leave you room to picture whatever you had in mind, especially if you happen to be struggling irl.

👩 Also, I wrote this as Fem!Reader because nothing was specified. I hope that's alright, anon! Thank you for your patience :)

♡ Happy Reading ♡

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Jisoo

Discovered it after a few weeks of dating

She's amazing at reading people, so she had sensed that you were struggling with something; she just didn't know what.

She wanted to wait for you to tell her about whatever it was, but one fateful day she witnessed something that explained it all.

It wasn't meant to happen; she wasn't meant to see you like this. But, as fate would have it, Jisoo stumbled across something she never saw coming.

Her footsteps grow louder as she walks her way through the house, peeking her head into various rooms in search of you. The two of you invited some of your mutual friends over, and they've all been curious as to where you slipped away to earlier.

"Baby, are you in here? Everyone's wonder--"

The sound of the latch clicking out of place makes your heart drop and sets you into motion. Before you have enough time to fully react, though, Jisoo opens the bathroom door to find you sitting on the ground, attempting to shove a foreign substance into a plastic baggy.

Your hands make quick work of moving it out of view and sitting up on your knees, but she picks up on what's going on. Her eyes land on the material as you shift it behind your body, looking up at her with wide eyes.

"Jisoo--" Tears are already beginning to work their way into your eyes, slightly blurring your vision. Too many people have walked out on you after witnessing this, and the thought that she might go too is overwhelming.

She keeps her tone level as she steps into the room and quietly shuts the door behind herself. "Y/N, please explain yourself."

"I-I'm sorry Jisoo, I should've told you sooner." You shakily say, bringing a hand up to swipe away the few tears that've already leaked out. It's not usually like you to get so emotional so quickly, but seeing the pained look on her face is reason enough.

"Come here," she utters, plopping down next to you and pulling you up against her body as she leans back on the side of the tub. Her fingers rub soothing circles on your back while you rest your head on her shoulder, lightly dampening the material of her shirt with your tears. "I'm not mad at you for this, but I need you to tell me about it. I want to help you, my love. I can't watch you hurt yourself like this."

"Okay. Just promise you won't go," you softly say, the syllables of your words breaking here and there from the raw emotion you feel.

"I'm not going anywhere, Y/N." She presses a light kiss to your temple for reassurance, and her heart breaks when she feels your hands grip at her clothes out of habit. How many times have people told you that and still left you in your time of need? She cradles you in her arms, realizing just how fragile you are in your current state, and tells you to take your time.

With a steadying breath, you begin to explain your struggles.

Road To Recovery

Constant check-ins

"Hey honey, we're at the studio now. Are you taking care of yourself for me?"

Helps you deal with the symptoms of withdrawal when they hit

Focuses on distraction and redirection as ways to help you cope

If you're at a party and feel tempted after seeing someone use, she leads you away to distract you from the urge

Helps you find safe alternatives

Celebrates the little victories

"Yes, Y/N, 4 and a half weeks clean is plenty reason to celebrate. Now mark it on the calendar and get over here so I can put this hat on you."

Playdates at your local dog café to keep your mind occupied (and bringing Dalgomie so he can make new friends, of course)

Takes you indoor skydiving. She wanted to find a way to give you an adrenaline rush while still being able to participate with you, so that was a happy medium. She battled her fear of heights to do that with you.

Not letting you lose hope if you relapse

"You're not a burden, and I'm not letting you give up on yourself. Not after all the progress you've made. I believe in you."

Accompanying you to rehab and recovery meetings, if you want her to

Bringing you your favorite snacks and candies when she picks you up

"I got you a little something," she smiles, leaning over the center console of the car to kiss your cheek. "You deserve a treat, baby."

Whenever you decide to tell everyone about your struggles and recovery journey, she's right next to you for support

Spends all the time she can with you

Early on, she would get really worried when you missed her calls or took a while to respond, but eventually she got over her fears to some degree

Still checks up on you when she's away for work

"Sorry for missing your call, Chu. Dalgom tried to kill me when I was giving him a bath and I couldn't get to the phone in time."

Overall, just a very proud girlfriend who sticks by you no matter what

After You've Recovered

Annual "recovery party" to commemorate your sobriety

Sometimes you invite the girls and your other friends, and sometimes you prefer to just spend the day at home with Jisoo

"Look at how far you've come, my love. I'm so proud of you."

♡♡♡♡♡

Jennie

She would be the only one who figured it out on her own. She picked up on the signs fairly quickly and always subtly helped steer you away from any potentially tempting situations

If you two watched a movie that happened to have a triggering scene in it, she always noticed how you'd look away and subconsciously tense up a bit

"Hey, babe. This movie's kinda boring; why don't we watch that new Netflix documentary instead?"

If the two of you were invited to parties that were likely to have a bunch of alcohol and drugs, sometimes she'd try to suggest staying in or doing something else instead

You eventually caught on to her diversion attempts, and sat down with her to have a talk.

"How long have you known?" You ask, pulling your legs up towards your chest as you sit back against the headboard of your California King.

"A few weeks," she starts, running a brush through her hair until it's untangled. Her damp locks stick to her shoulders as she approaches you, some strips slightly drier than others. "Were you ever gonna tell me?" She inquires softly, facing you as she sits down beside you on the bed.

"Of course, Jen. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner, I just… I was on my own with it before you. I didn't have anyone to turn to because everyone left once they found out." Your confession makes her chest ache -- it's a physical, honest pain that she feels as she imagines you battling such an unforgiving foe with no one in your corner. She places a warm hand on your thigh to comfort you, knowing just how much her touch helps when you're upset. "Hey, it's okay. There's no point in worrying about that now. I know it's hard to open up, babe, so thank you for doing this. I'm here to listen, alright?"

"Thank you, Jennie. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'll never have to know, either, because I'm staying right here."

"I love you," you whisper, leaning forward to press a kiss to her lips.

"I love you, too," she sighs against you, preparing herself for the emotional night you're about to have. For now, she takes a moment to just pull you into her arms and rest her forehead against yours, finding comfort in your steady heartbeat.

"We'll start whenever you're ready."

Road To Recovery

Makes various arrangements to ensure that the media won't know of your struggles

Keeps things on lock, especially if you decide to remain private on the matter and not tell the world

If you make a public statement about it, she still does everything she can to keep you protected from the negativity. She knows first hand how tough it can be to deal with, so she never lets you face it alone

You both help each other work through things

"You're my rock, Y/N/N."

"And you're my world, Jen."

Takes care of you during bouts of withdrawal

Sings to you to calm you down and help you relax

Takes you to theme parks and rides all the big coasters with you so you can get a similar high that you did from the drugs. She gets to be clingy with you and spend the day having fun, so she doesn't mind it, and you enjoy it just the same.

Suggests fun activities for you to do together

"We should visit that pottery place tomorrow! I've heard a lot of good things about it."

You stick close together when you're in public, especially when paparazzi are near

Your presence helps with her anxiety, and you hold her close and tell jokes to keep her attention off of it

Random surprise celebrations waiting for you when you get home

"Hey Jen, I'm home." You announce, shrugging your coat off before hanging it up on the metal rack next to the front door.

"In here," she calls from the kitchen, effectively pulling you in with that sweet voice of hers. When you reach the doorway and peek in, a dumbstruck smile slowly parts your lips as you see the set up she constructed.

"Happy 3 Weeks" a multicolored banner reads, displaying the phrase above your dining room table where Jennie sits. "Surprise, honey," she says softly, glancing down at the cake she made for you as she scoots it closer. You approach the table and examine it, practically feeling your heart grow 10 sizes from the love you hold for your girlfriend.

"Is this why you left practice early?"

"Mhm," she nods, kissing your cheek before she reaches into a small gift bag next to her chair. "I'm so proud of you," she grins, sliding a thin, glittery headband into your hair. It has two springs attached to the top that bounce in every direction possible, surely making you look like a dork.

"God, I love you."

"You'd better keep that same energy after trying the cake. I think I might've added too much baking soda…"

You shake your head and pull her in, pressing kiss after kiss to her lips until she's grinning just as hard as you.

Going on adventures with Kuma and Kai

Especially to dog parks and other national parks

Helps you fill things out for rehab and doesn't let you get too stressed about it

Helps you regain confidence in yourself if you relapse

"This isn't the end, Y/N. You're strong, I know you can beat this."

Is right next to you through it all

After You've Recovered

Go on an annual vacation to get away from everything and celebrate your sobriety. You take the opportunity to escape the media and reconnect with each other

"Where to this year, Y/N? Bora Bora, maybe?"

Intimate celebration between the two of you on vacation, and then the girls throw you a party when you come back

♡♡♡♡♡

Rosé

You were really good at hiding your secret from people -- especially those that you care about most. You're always afraid that once they find out, they'll pack up and leave.

Rosé was one of the first to actually stay

She had been fairly oblivious to your struggles since you masked that side of yourself well, but one day the two of you attended a little get-together at your old friend's house, and your dirty laundry was aired.

"Bro, come on, let's play Truth or Dare!" One of your old friends says, perking up at the fact that he remembered the game even existed. He's already a little tipsy, but so are some of the others.

"I don't know, dude," you hesitantly start, missing the way that Rosé curiously raises a brow beside you.

"Come on, we'll keep it tame." Another person adds from the couch opposite you, their voice low. You recognize her as Cho, a sort of frenemy from your high school years. Something doesn't sit right for you with the hint of mischief that shines in her eyes, but your friends' pleas eventually push the feeling away and you relent.

"Fine, but if Austin gets dared to do some dumb shit like last time I'm dropping out."

"Like what?"

"Like what?" You ask back, disbelief evident in your voice. "Are you forgetting the fact that I had to bail you out after you got arrested for streaking down the neighborhood?"

"Okay, fair point," Austin holds his hands up in surrender. "Just a few rounds."

As everyone's once boisterous laughter finally dies down into quiet chuckles, you turn to Rosé for a quick kiss. She reciprocates and holds you there for a few more seconds, loving the way your lips feel against her own. As you brush your nose against hers and garner a sweet giggle from her, Cho interrupts the moment with a phrase that makes your blood run cold.

"So, Rosé, has Y/N told you about the time she got arrested for drug possession? Word on the street is that she still can't shake her old habit..."

Rosie feels the way you tense up at the question and pull away from her, cringing at the exposure you just received. The room goes silent, enabling a pen to be heard if it were dropped.

"Hey," Austin goes to defend you, about to yell at her for bringing up such a difficult topic.

"It's fine, Austin," you say, sticking your hand out in front of him to keep him from approaching her. The last thing you want right now is a screaming match about your struggles.

Rosie finally speaks up after what feels like an eternity, turning to Cho to say, "No, but that's none of your business. And I strongly advise that you don't speak on her name like that again." She cuts her eyes at the other girl, sending an icy glare at her to show that she's serious before giving her attention to you again.

When a few tense moments pass with no one really saying anything, Jackson, the host, speaks up. "I think you need to go, Cho."

"Ah, what a shame. The fun was just starting," she mockingly pouts, stopping next to you on her way out the door. Rosé strokes the back of your hand to soothe you, tracing mindless patterns with her thumb until your shoulders relax and you look into her eyes. With Cho now gone, your friends decide to go out into the backyard and give the two of you some time to clear things up.

"So, I guess we should talk." You start, pulling your legs up onto the couch to sit criss-cross. She studies the way that you begin to nervously fidget and drop eye contact, and the sight breaks her heart.

"Your past is your past, Y/N, and I won't ever judge you for it. I wish she wouldn't have brought it up like that -- I really wish she didn't," she says, emphasizing the word to remind you of how upset she is with Cho, "But I can tell that you're still struggling. I want to help you get better, and I'll be here with you every step of the way, babe. You mean the world to me." She smiles sadly, trying not to think of how much it would hurt to lose you.

"Okay," you breathe out, accepting the honest help that she's extending to you. You've been burned and lied to in the past, but you trust Rosé to stay true to her word and assist you on the hard journey laid out before you. "Let's start from the beginning," you say, preparing yourself to retell your struggles from the moment they began all those years ago.

Road To Recovery

Takes care of you when withdrawal hits hard

Isn't afraid to take the day off if it's bad enough and she needs to

"Hey, Teddy. Tell everyone that I'll be staying home today, okay? I've already let the girls know, too."

Reassurance to the max

"You're doing amazing."

Is your shoulder to cry on when times get tough

On a weekend trip, the two of you snuck away to the beach to go cliff diving. It was a thrilling experience, and you'll always remember that day with her

Helps you find healthier alternatives to your addiction that can make the transition easier until you fully recover

"Baby, look at this." She says, repositioning her laptop so that you can see what she's looking at. The two of you are sitting on the bed, and her legs are stretched out over yours. "These herbs are safe to smoke and they can help with a lot of your troubles. These over here," she says, pointing to a section of the screen, "help with stress and anxiety. They make it easier to relax." You nod, logging the information in your brain as you run a hand over her smooth skin to keep yourself calm. It's a habit that both of you love. "Thank you, Rosie. Nobody's ever done anything like this for me." You say, keeping your head down as you remember all the people that have left you behind in your time of need.

"You'd do the same for me, and I'm happy to be here for you." She declares, holding one of your hands within both of her own. She cradles it delicately, just like she does your heart. "I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel my love. I'm not going anywhere, babe." She leans in, connecting your lips in a sweet kiss.

Keeps your spirits up if you relapse

"You're not a failure, Y/N/N. This is just a setback, and we're going to get through it together."

One of her friends told her about a fun art class that's supposed to help people in recovery let go of some of their resentment and negative feelings, so she brought it up and you agreed to go

It was structured in two parts:

Part 1: Everyone went out to an old car lot that had various old vehicles, electronics, and other things to smash up. Once you let loose and relieved some of your tension, you collected scraps of the things you destroyed.

Part 2: With the scraps you brought back, you were told to create any type of artwork you wanted -- whatever felt right. Collage, graffiti, scrapbook, etc. At the end of the class, you were informed of the driving message behind it: Though the negative feelings and aversions you dealt with in the past may have left you feeling broken, you never really were -- you've always had the power to piece yourself back together and continue on.

After You've Recovered

Taking a month off work every year to travel and experience new things together. Usually consists of going to another city (or even country) and exploring their art museums and other artistics outlets

The new experiences help remind you off all the reasons you want to stay sober, and they help her have new material for her songs

Lots of pictures and drawings to remember all of your adventures

Collect trinkets to hang up / display, especially around the holidays

The girls have a special celebration waiting for you when you return

♡♡♡♡♡

Lisa

She could tell something was wrong when your behavior started to change over the course of a couple weeks

She suspected other things, but after finding a substance in your bag while on a vacation trip, she was blind sided by the reality of the situation

"Hey Lis, have you seen my swimsuit?" You casually ask, strolling into your hotel bedroom in search of the item. "I thought I left it--"

Your words catch harshly in your throat, nearly making you choke from how quickly you cut yourself off. She's sitting on the edge of the bed with the baggy in her hands, and tears brim in her eyes.

"Fuck," you wince, closing your eyes as you put your face in your hands. "You weren't supposed to find out like this."

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asks, staring straight ahead, though her eyes don't focus on anything in particular. Knowing you hurt her is bad enough, but seeing her like this makes the pain even more evident.

"I was going to, I promise. But I've been trying to wean myself off of it," you begin to explain, slowly walking across the room until you're in front of her. You squat down and put your hands on her thighs, staying quiet until she meets your gaze. "I've tried to quit cold turkey in the past but it didn't go down well. I figured I could handle this on my own and not get you involved."

"Baby, I want to be involved. You've been different lately, and having you shut me out didn't help ease my fears. I want to be a part of this, okay? You can turn to me when you feel alone," she says through the occasional tears that roll down her cheeks, "It's my job to help you and keep you safe. So let me," she crouches down next to you as she says the last part, wrapping her arms around you when she notices your lip tremble. "I'm not gonna let this get between us," she says against your shoulder, reminding you of how strong her love for you is.

"I'm sorry I waited so long," your words are muffled against her shirt, but she can hear how the emotion in them changes your voice slightly.

"We have to start somewhere, and this is just as good a time as any. I'm right here, Y/N/N."

Road To Recovery

Sweet texts and reminders throughout the day

"Hey baby, have you eaten today? The girls and I miss you like crazy."

"Don't forget about your check-up tomorrow. I already told my manager that I'll be taking the day off, so I'm all yours 😉"

"*image attachment* Question: Do you think Lego would look cute in this or do you think Lego would look cute in this? Because he WOULD."

Stargazing trips to talk about how far you've come

Making treats for the cats together if you have a bad day

Sometimes your withdrawal leaves you with weird cravings, but she never hesitates to race to the store at any hour and snatch up your favorite treats

Learning how to cook together to keep you occupied and give you a hobby (plus she's always wanted to get better at it)

“If you fling that at me, I swear to God I'll--”

"Oops!"

"LISA!"

Day trips to random parks and open locations to have little photoshoots when she has free days

Once took you bungee jumping for the experience and adrenaline rush

Bringing you into the studio if you're having a hard time and don't want to be alone

Always listens to you and shows how much she cares

Opts out of events if she suspects that drugs will be there to tempt you (considering you're always her plus one)

You still send her to enjoy herself at the events without you sometimes, though it does take a lot to convince her to leave you at home

"Okay, okay! But we're binging that new show when I get back."

Makes you laugh often and cheers you up when you need it most

She's your sunshine

After You've Recovered

Considering that you're her muse and she's the artist that she is, she hatched a plan early on to document your journey to recovery

"One more, babe. Just like that." She instructs, holding the camera up to her eye one final time. "Perfect."

"Alright, close your eyes and turn around." She commands while returning to the coffee table that sits in the middle of your living room. Her hands make quick work of putting the finishing touches on her gift for you while you patiently sway and hum to whatever song is stuck in your head at the moment.

"Annnnnd done!" She shouts, approaching you with a wide smile tugging at her lips as she holds the book out in front of herself. "It's a photo album. I started it the day you told me you wanted to try and get better," she says, smiling softly as she slowly walks you through the beginning pages of the book. "I thought it would be nice to see how far you've come," her eyes remain glued to the pictures she took as she continues flipping, and she fails to realize that you're staring at her now.

"I'm so in love with you. I can't thank you enough, Lis. This is beautiful." You shake your head in quiet disbelief, genuinely surprised that someone would work so hard on something for you. It shouldn't be a surprise with her though, considering how much she loves you, but it still baffles you sometimes.

"This gift only shows a fraction of my love for you, but I'm happy you like it. This is nothing, baby; there's so much more where this came from. Thank you for letting me in." She captures your lips in a meaningful kiss, and finds it hard to pull away. You seem to be her drug of choice, but neither of you care to end that sweet addiction.

Annual trips to photoshoots and fashion shows

Being her favorite model (seriously, she could look at you for hours on end)

Always feeling so loved and cherished, no matter what the two of you are doing

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ultimatetrashgoblin · 4 years ago

Text

Blaire Reviews: Ezra Season 4

Disclaimer: This is all my opinion, you are allowed to disagree with me. I encourage you to read this route and form your own opinions. (It’s no secret that EAA is my favorite series, so this will probably be extremely biased)

First Impressions

The stakes are very high going into this season. Red is on the loose, and with the spell on the Ice Queen's heart broken, it's only a matter of time before she's there as well. Probably doesn't help that Ezra broke the fucking front door down because either could easily walk into the house and kill everyone.

The conflict becomes immediately apparent when Ezra and FMC go to the university and find that all of the students and faculty are in some sort of trance, lifelessly moving around the school, while barely reacting to anything going on around them (If only Bosco was in this route, he'd fit right in).

They go to the library to find Darla, only to discover that she and Omar are also under this mysterious spell, and have lost their memories of magic. We also got this glorious moment (and you're lying if you said you picked any other option).

Ezra, Mouse, and Edward go off to find Red (and restore the power of three after Ezra broke it last season by running away like the dramatic bitch he is for like the fifth time in his route) leaving FMC with Nora and Arin, who get her to confess that the spell around the Ice Queen's heart has been broken. Fortunately, FMC is also given confirmation that she was not responsible for what was happening to the student body.

Unfortunately, we find out that Red is the one responsible for this, having stolen Omar's lamp and using them essentially as an army to literally "paint the town red".

In order to find Red's book, Ezra and FMC realize they need to go to the magic world to find it. Nora goes with them in order to collect ingredients she needs to reverse Dr. Tutorea's curse. But Arin warns them that The Ice Queen would know if Ezra was in the world, so they had to be quick.

The group (minus MMC and Lucas for some reason) performs a spell that will allow the door between worlds to be slightly open. I thought that this heart scene was incredibly well done, and was 100% worth the hearts.

Once in the magic world, we're immediately introduced to Galahad. Now I know plenty of people want his route, which I can understand, (the amount of male LIs who are genuinely sweet off the bat is very low) but I found him to be boring. Granted, he wasn't introduced until halfway through Ezra's last season, and his character was barely used. If we were given more time to see his character, maybe I'd understand the hype around him more.

Ezra finds Red's book and reads it, realizing that Red was the one who killed the wolves (like with Grandma, I'd suspected it, but the reveal was still shocking nonetheless). The Ice Queen shows up (though we don't actually see her), and with Red's book, the potion for Dr. Tutorea, and our new friend who Ezra totally isn't jealous of, the group goes back through the door.

I loved the final battle (even if it was paywalled) and being able to see everyone working together to take Red down. AND MOUSE FINALLY GOT TO SLAP HER!

Good for you baby, I'm proud of you.

For someone who has been getting hyped for this entire route, the Ice Queen made an appearance for a whooping one episode. In her defense, she did make the most of her short appearance. Her turning on Red and calling her out for betraying the hunters and Grandma was an amazing moment. Also:

Yeah, it's a little on the nose, especially since we already know she's getting a route in June. Still, I thought it was a fun addition. See you then Lavinia!

The finale was similar to Nora's. The MCs get their memories back, and FMC, Ezra, Nora, Lucas, and Dr. Tutorea go to the magic world. But what I wasn't expecting was that last heart scene. In all honesty, it probably was just a cute moment between Ezra and FMC, and I'm probably overthinking things. But it seemed a lot like they were exchanging vows- So I'm allowing myself to have this headcanon that they eloped.

Then and Now

Since this was Ezra's final season, I'm going to compare the character and relationship dynamics in his first and last seasons.

When we first meet Ezra, he's clearly the mean, snarky LI that we have never seen before, especially in wlm routes. We did get a few glimpses of a softer, more gentle side of Ezra as the season progressed, and he showed himself to be very protective over FMC (especially when Edward was introduced). One thing I loved about the relationship dynamic between FMC and Ezra was the banter. Both of them have very strong personalities, and there were moments where they would clash with each other. But rather than being malicious remarks towards each other, these arguments were more playful jabs, which was refreshing.

In this season, Ezra was much more open with FMC. There was still some witty banter between the two of them, but we also got more sweet moments. There was also better communication, and there was clearly a great amount of trust there. Ezra didn't run off as much and would tell FMC his plans beforehand to make her feel more comfortable.

In my opinion, Ezra is an example of the rude LI trope done right. He admires FMC's ambition and bravery, mentioning how most people don't have the guts to stand up to him (which is the origin of the nickname "Little Star"). I've seen other LIs of this type belittling the MC, and sometimes downright insulting them Chance Valentine, but Ezra clearly respects her.

Final Thoughts

It's always sad to see such a beloved route end. This story had so much potential, and it's sad to see the potential wasted by ending a route early, especially with such a beloved LI. As someone who isn't attracted to men, it's rare for me to find a wlm route that I can avidly enjoy and look forward to seeing updates for.

Despite the ending feeling somewhat rushed, this season was incredibly well done and allowed us time to see our favorite characters one last time. Red was an amazing and ruthless villain, the dynamic between the group was wonderful. I don't think we could have asked for a better ending (just maybe a few seasons later).

Overall Rating: 8/10

Favorite CG

I was stuck between this CG and the last one, but if there's anything that I'm weak for, it's beautiful lighting and attractive women.

#blaire reviews #ever after academy #ezra wolf

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ressyfaerie · 4 years ago

Note

So listen, uh, I am strangely fascinated by the potential dynamic between Tala/Yuriy and Garland. They're both Boris Balkov's "favorite", or top blader, until some super talent (Kai, Brooklyn) comes in and basically takes that away from them. Also, Boris is playing Garland against Tala. They have some things in comon, at least when it comes to experience, and if they ever spoke about their time with Boris, I think they would find they can profit from each other's knowledge? So idk, if you find that thought inspiring for a little fic I'd be interested 👀

Ohhhhh smart smart!! I am living for this idea, let’s make these boys trauma bond shall we? 👀 Anything in ** are thoughts from Tala’s perspective!

It had been a few months since the finale of the BEGA championships. Tala had stayed in Japan, while the rest of his team went home. He was staying in a low-budget hotel room. Mr. Dickenson had paid for his room and boarding, while he stayed to help him with the rise of the new BBA. However, Mr. D was broke, Tala still appreciated him doing what little he could.

Tala didn’t have the courage to tell him he was helping him for his own selfish reasons.

He laid on his bed watching late-night programs on the old TV set. The silence was broken when he heard the slip of a small paper.

He stared off the edge of his bed, inspecting the floor to discover a note had been slipped under his door.

He stared at it quizzically, scared at first, but decided to check it out, after determining nothing horrible could happen to him from reading a note.

He cautiously hopped off the bed and picked up the note, sinking into the corner of the worn-out mattress. He unfolded it:

‘Come to the park at midnight, I need to talk to you about Boris’

Tala’s heart caught in his throat.

*This is… What I wanted- but*

He stared at the clock.

*10:30…*

He pulled out his blade. Searching his wolf bit for answers.

*What should we do Wolborg?*

Tala knew this could be a trap. Another one of Boris’ many schemes. He decided the risk was worth it. He was here for this reason after all. He knew Boris was alive.

He wanted to take him down for good.

He couldn't sleep until he knew the world was safe from Boris.

Tala stood to the end of the park. He leaned on a metal bar of a swingset. His eyes frantically searched the deserted clearing.

“Don’t freak out-”

Tala jumped, running forward a bit before turning around to face the sudden appearance.

“Garland?!” Tala asked, surprised.

“Yes Tala, it’s me.”

Garland held his hands in the air above his shoulders, trying desperately to portray he wasn’t a threat.

Tala was obviously not well mentally. Garland knew that without even seeing him. What Boris made him do to him messed him up way more than necessary.

“Why did you call me here!?” Tala’s voice was much more aggressive than he wanted it to be, he was unconsciously putting his shields up.

“First of all, I want to say- I’m sorry.”

Tala’s breathing became slower, less panicked.

Garland slowly lowered his hands, but Tala looked like he might panic again, so he put them back up.

“I never wanted to hurt you like I did- Boris-”

“He’s a monster.” Tala finished his sentence for him.

“Yes.”

Tala rearranged his stance, trying to trick himself into being more calm.

“I don’t blame you for what happened. I know what it’s like to be in his grip… But I don’t forgive you… I hope you understand.”

Garland nodded, “I understand.”

There was silence. The wind blew through the crisp grass and danced around their shins.

“I need to talk to you about Boris.” Garland continued.

“He’s still out there.” Tala’s voice shook.

“I know.”

“I can’t- I can’t have him out there Garland.”

“Neither can I.” Garland nodded, he agreed while watching Tala’s body language with concern.

“I can’t sleep. I can’t eat- I’m constantly thinking of where he’s coming from next- I lost weeks, Garland. Weeks that I will never get back.”

“You almost died.” Garland watched him grow angrier.

“To anyone who was conscious, I was dead. I wasn’t coming back.”

Garland was testing him. He needed to know how able Tala was, how far would he go for revenge? To protect himself, and everyone he loved?

“So what are you doing Tala?” Garland let his hands rest at his side, this time, Tala wasn’t afraid- worse, he was angry.

“I’m looking for him- I’m going to find him- and I’m going to make sure he can never get back up.”

Garland raised an eyebrow, not in surprise, but in admiration.

“Really? You would go that far?”

“He trained me to go that far.”

“I feel the same way Tala.”

Tala looked at Garland now, not as someone to be feared, but as an ally.

“Garland do you understand-”

“I understand-”

“I want him in the ground.”

Tala’s icy blue stare crept down Garland’s spine.

This is exactly what Garland wanted.

Garland grinned, “this is what I wanted Tala. I knew you were still in there somewhere.”

“What do you mean by that?!” Tala spat.

Garland shrugged, “Since you got hurt- you’ve been- different…”

Tala became visibly angry, he was mostly upset with himself, he had tried so hard for his weakness not to be noticed.

“I’m the same person I was before.”

“I know, now you’re more cautious, that’s good. I need that.”

“Why do you need it?” Tala squinted his eyes, “What do you need me for?”

A dark shadow crept over Garland’s face.

“Are you sure you want to know? Are you strong enough?”

“Are you doubting my abilities?” Tala questioned him aggressively.

“No, not at all. I know what you’re capable of.”

Tala pushed, “so then tell me.”

Garland shuffled his feet, he took a deep breath.

“Spit it out,” Tala grumbled.

“I’m going to take down Boris. Like you said, put him in the ground.”

Tala didn’t miss a beat.

“Count me in.”

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