#i'd like to eat some donuts with him

[wesaier]

Sweet man

[queers-gambit]

Two to Tango

prompt: the aftermath of Carmy's words seem to rattle him more than you.

pairing: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x female!reader pairing: Carmy x Peach

fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear

collection masterlist: Clingy Baby

word count: 5.4k+

note: author still does not want any messages about glorifying toxic relationships. typically, but not always, when someone calls you clingy, it's weaponized and is abusive. this fic is not meant to portray that! it’s meant to show internal agony and the journey to forgiveness - Carmy apologizes 'cause he's actually sorry!

warnings: cursing, reader folds 'cause who wouldn't for the sweet puppy that is Carmy, hurt and comfort, small angst, small fluff, we talk about Mikey a bit, author uses writing as therapy, relationship angst...? barely edited.

part one: God's Plan

"It's six in the Goddamn morning!" You raged at your front door, stomping up to it, "Are you dumb in the fucking head!? Who the fuck in their right mind knocks like the Goddamn cops at six in the fucking morning!?"

You whipped it open, the force causing a breeze of air to blow your bedridden hair back and highlight your exhaustion. "Hiya, sunshine," Richie beamed down at you, holding up a paper bag, offering, "donut?"

"Richie!? I know you're not fuckin' stupid, baby boy, so, what the fuck is wrong with you? It's six in the morning on my day off - do you want to give me a reason to punch you? You hate your nose that much?"

He tisked at you mockingly, "Someone's cranky this morning."

"What do you want?"

"You're not gonna invite me in for coffee? I brought us donuts! See? C'mon, Peach," He jostled the bag around with a shit-eating, closed-lip smile. "Dooonuts," he taunted.

You had to pause, count to ten in your head, then sigh through your nose. You offered kindly, "Richie? Would you like to come in for some coffee? Since you kindly brought donuts?"

He grinned, "Awwh, thanks, Peach, thats real nice of yah! Don't mind if I do!"

"Don't call me that," you snapped, leading him into your kitchen. The door shut and locked.

"Oh, someone's touchy."

"What do you fucking want?" You whined, pouring two mugs of hot coffee. "You come bangin' at my door, early ass in the mornin'. You better have a good-ass reason," you slid the mug over the counter he sat at. "Cream or sugar?"

He shook his head, fiddling with the mug for a moment before admitting as you dressed up your own coffee, "Uh, so... It's Carmy."

You paused, taking a slow sip from your mug, waiting for more that wouldn't come. So, you quietly asked, "What about Carmy?"

"He's falling apart."

"O...Kay?"

"Peach," he frowned, "you know that your relationship was the only thing that made sense to him - he's falling apart without you there."

"Okay," you nodded, taking another swallow of hot bean-water.

"That's it? Nothing else to say? Dude's losin' his fuckin' shit, Peach. Okay? Barely leaves the restaurant, h-he's all manic and shit, doesn't stop cookin', isn't gettin' a lotta sleep, and Syd said his clothes are all over the apartment - he's not keeping himself in order."

"So, he needs his mother?"

Richie glared with a clenched jaw, "Not fuckin' funny, Peach."

"I'm not laughing."

"He needs you."

"I'd argue otherwise, he's a grown fuckin' man who doesn't need to be taken care of. Look, if he was man enough to call me a desperate, clingy bitch, he's man enough to deal with the fallout of his words."

"Look, hey, hey, hey, I'm not sayin' he's not in the wrong," he waved his hands, eyes widening, "actually, the exact opposite. We all chewed his ass out when we found out what he fuckin' said, Peach. And look, I've never seen Fak that fuckin' angry."

You semi-pouted your bottom lip, "Really?"

"Fak was ready to strangle Carmy, I think," Richie sighed. "I yelled, Sugar yelled, Fak lost his shit, Syd even cornered him in the office and laid into him..."

"I thought she didn't like me," you whispered.

"She's getting to know you, but she likes you," he assured, "and it's obvious the affect you have on Carmy. We all respect that - "

"Oh, great, so everyone except the one person who needs to respect our relationship - respects it!"

Richie frowned at you, nodding in agreement before admitting, "He's a dumb fuckin' idiot, Peach, we all know that, but the dude is losing it without you."

"Sucks to suck."

"Peach," he groaned, slapping his hands to the counter with exasperation. "Don't you love him?"

"Of course I love him, but I also have this little thing called self-respect! He said some shit - shit he can't ever take back. The fuck I look like going back to him when he's the one in the wrong!? I don't hate myself that much, and despite what he says, I'm not that desperate for love."

"How is talking to the man you love - "

"Richie," you paused him, "your Cousin said a lot of hurtful shit. It's been weeks, okay? He's gonna snap outta it, realize what he's done, and right the wrongs he's committed. I don't need to speed that along in any way, shape, or form - he's a grown man. And I'm a grown woman, I don't have to fall to anyone's beck-and-call, he can figure his own shit out."

"I know - look, it's been fuckin' weeks of us dealin' with him losin' his fuckin' mind!" Richie snapped. "We tried to respect that you wanted distance and time, we really did, but he's losin' it, Peach, more than he's lost it before. Okay? I'm concerned about him, more than I was when the shit with Mikey went down..."

You sighed and leaned on your kitchen counter, wiping your fingers over your eyes to pinch the bridge of your nose after. "Okay, okay," you paused, sighing again, blinking as you looked at Richie, "so, what would you like me to do?"

He pouted dramatically, "Talk to him? Please?"

"To say... What?"

"I don't know, you guys can work that out together, but he's miserable, Peach. Just talk to him, just..." He sighed, shaking his head, "I know it's not fair to ask of you, but he's slippin' off the deep end. You're all he knows, all that makes sense to him, and with you gone..." His eyes turned red as he held back his tears, "I-I'm not sayin' he's gonna do anythin', Peach, but everythin' with Mikey's still so fresh... I just - I can't go through this again. Can't lose another Berzatto."

You frowned, understanding now why he appeared so frazzled.

"Carmy's not Mikey, Richie, okay?" You reminded him softly, reaching for his hand; leaving your extended to reach him, "And you're not gonna lose any more of us, you hear me?" You gave a squeeze, "I'll talk to him."

"Really?"

"I will," you assured softly, seeing the single tear drop from his waterline when he bowed his head and sniffled harshly. "Hey, Richie...? Do you, maybe, wanna bring some flowers to Mikey today? Think you wanna visit?"

He shrugged, "Maybe..."

"Maybe it'll be nice," you assured calmly. "It rained a few days ago, so, the ground won't be too soggy anymore, but the grass will be lush and green - hydrated and shit."

"Right," he chuckled, nodding, "yeah, okay, maybe that'll be nice, yeah, you're right."

"Maybe Carmy could use a visit, too."

"He won't go."

You nodded, "I know, but sometimes it's nice to just have the offer."

Richie agreed, downing the last of his black coffee. "All right," he cleared his throat, "let's go - you wearin' that?"

"What?"

"You gonna wear that? To go talk to Carmy?"

"It's not even seven in the morning!"

"He's at the restaurant," Richie shrugged. "Dude doesn't leave. C'mon, he needs a nap or somethin'."

You groaned, knowing he wouldn't leave unless you left with him. So, you got ready quickly while he sat at your desktop computer; playing Facebook's FarmVille - the same you left your little cousins to play when they needed distracted. He was enraptured by the adorable virtual sheep, laughing to himself as he learned the ropes of the game; and when you were ready, you had time to fill a to-go tumbler of coffee while he signed off.

When you arrived at The Beef, it was still closed for the morning prep; and inside, chaos rained in a fury of angry voices. You listened to Carmy snap at Marcus about something petty, going as far as to slap a pastry out of his hand as they argued in one another's faces with ignited passion.

"Ooookay," you moved through the kitchen and got between the two men, hands on Carmy's chest, "that's enough, Chef, hey, hey, hey, c'mon, walk away - just walk away, Carmy, don't do this. Hey, hey, don't do this, c'mon, just step off - walk away with me, please. Please, Carmy, hey, hey, step off, walk away with me, please."

"Fuck you doin' here, Peach?" He asked with red, swollen eyes. He looked sullen; pale between the angry red blotches to his skin, bags under his tired eyes, looking worn out and thinner than you remembered.

"Yeah, hey, hey, we'll talk about that, c'mon, outside, outside, outside," you directed him, sighing at the sight of the splattered pastry you were forced to step over. "I'm so sorry, Marcus," you whispered, seeing him nod and wave you off as you and Carmy pushed outside into the alley.

The door shut behind you, making Carmy snarl, "What the fuck, Peach - "

"No, I think that's better asked to you," you snapped. "The hell's wrong with you? Yellin' at Marcus like that? You know how rude it is to slap shit outta anyone's hand?"

He paced in anger, wiping a hand down his face; circling his mouth with his fingers, eyes ringed with red, hair greasy and tossed in a mess. His pants looked baggy, his shirt wrinkled, stained, and dirty with sweat marks.

"What're you doin' here?" He asked in a pant, hands going to his slender hips, head shaking as his tear-filled eyes avoided yours.

"Carmy, we need to talk."

"No shit," he breathed, scoffing after and widening his pace.

"Hey, Carmy, hey, hey," you reached for him, taking both his wrists in your grasp so he had to face you. "I need you to pause for me, please, hey," you stepped in his way when he tried to move. "Carmy, you're no good to anyone when you're like this - least of all yourself. So, I need you to talk - "

"You left," he panicked, pulling back to start pacing again. "You left - you left me. We got in a fight and you left, you fucking left. You walked away and you left me."

"Carmy, we got in more than a fight," you sighed. "You lashed out at me, then turned avoidant, and I don't linger where I'm not wanted."

"How can you think that?" He demanded, still pacing. "That you're not wanted by me? That you're not welcome, what? In my life? At my side? With me? Baby - of course, you are!"

"You didn't exactly make me feel any different," you pointed out sharply. "Carmy, can you please fucking pause for me so we can talk this out - "

"I know I fucked up," he ranted to himself, huffing and puffing as his emotion strangled him. "I know I did, I kept - I couldn't - I fucked up. I know I did. I couldn't get my head outta my ass," he listed, pacing as he panted when panic took hold of his being, "and I hurt you, and it was like I had to keep hurting you because I couldn't be alone in what I felt and I couldn't exactly figure out what the fuck I was feeling - I just needed you to hurt, too."

"Carmy," you sighed patiently.

"And I couldn't stop, I just kept going, and when I realized how bad I made it, I couldn't fucking stop - I needed y-yo-you t-to know what I felt, but I couldn't find the words. I-I hate that I did that, I-I fucking hurt you and I made this so much worse than it ever had t-to be, and I fucking know, Peach, okay? I know you're not clingy, you were just loving me. Y-You were loving me, you were using your own love languages, and I felt y-you so fuckin' close to me, and freaked out - I just - I just don't know why. I just - I panicked, I couldn't stop whatever I felt, and I'm so sorry," he breathed, shaking his head, wiping his cheeks as the tears started. "I-I-I'm so sorry, Peach, I couldn't control myself and I-I hate that I hurt you, and I know I don't deserve your understanding, but I just - I couldn't stop - "

"Carmy," you stepped directly in his footpath; needing to seize hold of his swollen biceps to catch his movements as he all but barreled right into you, "I need you to breathe."

"Nah, I'm okay - "

"No, you're not," you spoke sternly, shaking your head. "Baby," you eased your tone to a softer tone, seeing a glimmer of hope spark in his baby blues, "I need you to take a breath and remain in the present with me, okay? Just stand here with me," you watched as he blinked a couple of times; reaching out to hold your waist tentatively. "And stay in the present, okay? Stay here with me."

"I'm so sorry, Peach," he whispered, stepping closer so he could feel your breasts against his chest; caging you with his arms. "I'm so fuckin' sorry, I didn't - I didn't know what the fuck I was even trying to fight with you about. You're not clingy - you're not any of the things I said, I didn't mean it - any of it."

"Calling me desperate?"

"I didn't mean any of it."

"A bitch?"

"Please," he whispered, bringing you in closer so he could rest his forehead on yours. "Don't repeat it, I know what I said, and I'm so fucking sorry for all of it. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm goin' crazy without yah, Peach. I need my best girl, and I don't deserve you, but I fuckin' need you." He sniffled, pulling back to caress your cheek, whispering, "I need you, Peach, you're the only thing that I know - the only thing I can understand, that makes sense to me. I think I just felt stressed and overwhelmed, I wasn't sure what to do - I couldn't find the words, I'm so sorry."

You nodded slowly, "I think we can work through this."

"I don't deserve you."

"Maybe not, but you have me anyway," you whispered, bringing his forehead to your own again. "But you can't do this again, taking anger out on me when I haven't done anything."

"Never again," he sighed, now nestling into your neck for comfort; arms tightening so you were the closest you could be with your head bent to keep his head caressed with yours.

"I don't think we can say 'never', but we can make an effort to leave work stress at work, right?" You whispered softly, letting one around coil around him to keep him close; the other caressing his jaw. "You don't get to treat me like that," you reminded him, "because I'm on your side, Carmy, I'm not the enemy."

"I know," he squeezed you tight.

"And the people doing their jobs are not the enemy," you smirked.

"I know," he chuckled lightly. "I owe Marcus an apology..."

"I'm sure you owe it to the others, too," you mused, holding his cheek as you turned your head to kiss his forehead. "Promise me we're done with that reactive bullshit. It doesn't make navigating a relationship easier on us."

"We're done, we're so fuckin' done with that shit," he whispered, deflating into your embrace as you held him close. "I'm so sorry, baby. I really am."

"I know," you comforted softly. "I forgive you."

"I don't deserve it."

"Hey, hey, this self-deprecating stunt has to end, too. We've gotta go forward with at least some confidence if we're gonna figure this out together."

He nodded, pulling back but keeping hold of your waist. "I am confident about this... About you - about us."

"Hmm?" You gently pushed a few stray curls from his forehead.

"Move in with me - officially."

Your face contorted in mild disappointment, "Oh, Carmen - "

"No, no," he rushed, sighing as his hand flattened on your jaw and cheek again, "just listen to me. I've wanted to ask you for a long time, okay? I've wanted this for - like - fucking years. Hear me? I just," he sighed, "I wasn't sure how to ask. I want this for us, I want us to be together, okay? Officially. I-I want us living together, Peach, okay? I want to come home and just - I want you there. I want all of you," he frowned, tears swelling again, "and all your shoes in the foyer, hair in the shower drain, perfume on the counter, and every-single-way you know how to love me. I was wrong to say you were clingy - and everything else I said. Baby, the last couple weeks, I've felt so fucking empty, so lonely and - just - cold. I've been cold without you. I need you, Peach, I need you with me, and I need you to be exactly you - no holding back. Because you're exactly who I need to love me, I'm so sorry I fucked that up before."

"Carmy."

He frowned, "I'm sorry."

"I know," you smirked, "and I forgive you. But you know it's gonna take more than a few pretty words and some tears, right?"

He nodded, "Anything to make this work again."

You sighed in patience, "Go say your apologies to the others, we've got t'make a stop before going back to yours - and you're going to take a fucking nap."

"I'm fine - "

"Look me in my eye and try to tell me in the past 72 hours, you've had decent, restful sleep."

He frowned, opening his mouth a few times but then sighing. "You know I can't," he whispered.

"Exactly why we're going back to yours."

Carmy paused, brows furrowing as if a thread pulled them together. He asked softly, "Is that a no to us... Living together? Is that why you're calling it 'my' place?"

You offered him a look of patience and leaned in to peck his lips for a few prolonged seconds, promising, "There's your apartment, there's my apartment, and then there's gonna be our apartment. Somewhere that's just ours, 100% us." His mouth stretched in a grin, so you swiftly cut him off, "But you have to ask me again when you've got restful sleep under your belt. I want you clear headed when you make this kinda decision."

"Yes, ma'am," he agreed. "Where're we goin' before?"

You swallowed nervously, telling him softly, "You absolutely do not have to go with us, but I think Richie could use a visit out to Mikey's grave. I said I'd take him with some flowers, but you do not have to get out to go with us - not if you're not ready."

He blinked a few times, rolling his lips between his teeth as his eyes dropped from yours. You were about to coo his name and assure him again, when he nodded at you and tried to half-smile. "Okay," he breathed.

"Okay?"

"Mhm. I'll, uh... M-Maybe I can, just, hang back in the car."

"Sure, baby, whatever you're comfortable with," you whispered, leaning in to peck his forehead. "You good?"

"I will be."

"Mhm," you hummed, caressing his cheek again before pushing your hand into his curls. "Now, let's get a move on - I want you to march in there, say you're sorry to your Chefs, and then we'll leave."

"Yes, ma'am," Carmy whispered, leaning in to kiss you - but you pulled back.

"Aht," you halted him with a teasing finger to his lips, "after we've got everything worked out, then you can kiss me."

"You got t'kiss me," he mumbled against your finger; making you hum as you fought off a stretching smile, and lower your hand.

"Fair point - just one then - "

He cut you off by, indeed, pressing a single kiss to your lips, but not pulling back. His hand raised to hold the back of your head, your lips spreading in a grin against his; finding rhythm to move together before pausing to press in prolonged passion.

When he pulled back, you both paused to smile, and when you tried to peck his lips again, he pulled back, teasing, "Aht, just the one."

"Oh, fuck you," you laughed lightly, letting him take your hand before leading you back into the kitchen. The other Chefs lingered, sparing you and Carmy a few nervous glances, making you whisper in his ear as you squeezed his hand, "Go ahead, baby, get it done."

He nodded and called the kitchen to attention, clearing his throat, and beginning to make his apologies. He singled out Marcus, then Sydney, Richie, and Sugar; the kitchen staff all accepting his words and insisting he could take the day off - even the next few days if he wanted! You had to usher him to grab his things a few times, nudging him in reminder and verbally pushing him back into action. That boy's ADHD would truly be the death of him.

"So?" Richie smirked at you as Marcus handed you a packaged box of pastries.

"We're talking it out."

He chuckled, "Good. Get him outta here, Peach, dude needs to breathe."

"I got it," you swatted him away as Carmy exited the office. "But we've got somewhere to be first, right?"

He paused, then nodded and asked in a mutter, "He said okay?"

"He's got time to decide what he wants to do, but he knows we're going. C'mon, get your coat."

Richie met you at the front of the restaurant and with a parting wink to Sugar, you took Carmy's hand, tangled your fingers together, and left to venture to your parked car. Carmy got in the front, Richie in the back, and after a stop at a corner bodega to grab three bouquets of flowers, you drove to the cemetery. Carmy was silent, no music played, and Richie's leg bounced in anxious tension; making small conversation with you about your job in an effort to distract himself.

When you arrived, you pulled up on the access road that you knew was closest to Mikey's grave. Richie spared a glare between you and Carmy before muttering that he needed a cigarette and got out of the car to leave you alone. "Baby?" You whispered, reaching for his hand. "Hey, look, if you don't want to go with us, it's okay. We won't be long... But maybe you want to sign this," you showed him the small, blank name card left in the flowers.

"Why?" He whispered.

You shrugged, "So he knows they're from you."

"Peach," he sighed, meeting your eyes.

"Baby, I know it's silly, I know it's easier to ignore it all. But I'd like to believe it's just a nice gesture for our own closure - it's a signed gift from us, to them... And maybe it's nice to pretend that wherever they are, they know what we've left for them."

Carmy nodded slowly, "I-I don't think... I don't think I can go..."

"It's okay, baby," you whispered.

"But," he sniffled, opening his hand to you, "I'll sign it, if you'll leave it for me?"

"Of course," you rushed, opening your purse to producing a pen for him. The clank card rest on the center console of your car, pausing, swallowing nervously, then scribbling his name as he cleared his throat. He offered you the pen, waited until it was put away, then offered the flowers. "Hang tight, we won't be too long," you whispered, leaning in to rest your forehead. "You okay?"

He nodded, pecking your forehead before letting you get out of the car. You handed Richie his own flowers with a signed card, holding your own and Carmy's; linking arms with Rich to venture up the small grass hill and moved about halfway down the cemetery plot line. When you came to his stone, you understood this was what Rich needed more than you, so, you knelt and laid the two bouquets down before starting to quickly groom the area around his tombstone.

You told him, "I'm sorry it's not much, but I'll be back later for a picnic and a chat. I brought you flowers from me a-and from Carmy. He's in the car, but he's here, Mikey... Give him time," you whispered, brushing dirt from the stone before standing. "Take your time," you told Richie softly, seeing the tears gather in his eyes.

"Thanks, Peach," he whispered, offering you a tight hug. When you pulled back and started to walk away, Richie lowered himself to kneel and lay his own flowers down; hearing him tell Mikey, "Don't gotta worry 'bout us, Mike-Man, Peach is the glue that keeps us together. Shit, she even got Carmy out here..."

You made it back to the car and got in, smiling at Carmy - but dropping it the instant you saw tears in his eyes. "Talk to me," you whispered, reaching for a wet wipe in your glovebox to clean your hands after plucking the grass and brushing off dirt from the grave.

"Why can't I get out?"

You only stared at him for a long moment, unsure what to say.

"I'm here... I'm finally here... Why can't I get out?"

"You're not ready," you nodded, tossing the wipe aside to a plastic bag. "It's okay, Carmy, it's okay to not be ready yet. We can come back when you are," you reached for his hand.

"I think this added to my frustration," he admitted. "I couldn't... I didn't go to the funeral, haven't been here since he was... You know."

"Laid to rest."

"Yeah," he sighed. "Fuck's wrong with me?"

"You're grieving," you relented, nuzzling closer so your head rested on his shoulder. "It's not linear, Carmy, baby, just let yourself feel. When you try to repress your emotions, you lash out inappropriately."

"I know," he whispered, "'M sorry."

"It's not your fault," you promised, the two of you quietly bowing your heads together. You remained as such until Richie got back in the car, and from there, it was quiet as everyone stewed in their own emotion. You dropped Rich back at work before promising to call him later and driving away; heading for Carmy's apartment in the soothing silence, his hand locked in yours.

When you arrived at his apartment, you froze upon seeing the interior's state. "Oh, Carmy, no," you whispered, frowning deeply.

"Looks worse than it is," he deflected. You only hummed and let him lead you to the bedroom; watching him strip and prepare for bed before joining you on the mattress. He crashed almost immediately, sighing in relief as he pecked over your shoulder and collarbone, muttering, "'M so glad you're back. 'M so sorry, Peach."

"I know you are, and I forgive you," you told him softly, carding a manicured hand through his hair. "Just get some rest, baby."

He was asleep nearly instantly. He deflated on top of you, deeply resting enough to not notice you slip out from under him. You cleaned his entire apartment; doing laundry, cleaning, scrubbing, replacing necessities he deemed himself too lazy to pay attention to. You did dishes, cleaned out his fridge, and as you mopped up the floors, the sun set and Carmy emerged from the bedroom.

"Baby?" He mumbled in earnest confusion, sighing in relief when he saw you.

"What? Afraid I disappeared on you?" You teased with a small grin.

"For sure," he mumbled, wiping sleep from his eyes; making your amusement dim when you realized the nerve it struck. "The hell you doin'?"

"You didn't seriously think I could rest knowing this monster of a clean-up job lingered out here, did you?"

"I don't want you t'clean after me."

"Well, too late," you smirked. "You good now?"

"I feel better, yeah."

"Good."

"And I made up my mind."

"Hmm? About what?"

"I'm gonna take some time off work," he nodded, "and focus on us. Get us in a new crib, it'll be nice."

"Think you can handle that?"

He nodded, "I'll have to, you're the most important thing in my life, I can't lose you. So, if I gotta take time off, that's the least of my worries. I'm only here for us, for you."

You smiled at him, setting the mop aside to wrap him in your arms. "I like the sound of that, us making a home together - being able to decorate a new home. But don't let me overdo it, okay? I get all excited and kinda bulldoze my way through projects. I don't want you t'find real reason t'resent me."

"Nah, that ain't possible," he promised quietly.

True to his word, Carmy took three solid weeks off; agreeing to a fourth week as a contact-only consultant. You and he slept in most days, looking at apartments, and not once did he even mention work. He was diligent in his attention, focused on you and you alone; putting in overtime to rebuild that what was broke by focusing on shared interests again. You found a place you loved ready for what was basically immediate move-in, taking time to pack your respected places and prepare for the official start of your cohabitating relationship.

You didn't forget what he said, being reserved in your displays of love. Yet Carmy was different; he was totally clingy the moment you returned to his life. He feared letting you go meant you'd disappear again, feared you'd run away again. He held your hand at every possible opportunity, got you a fresh bouquet of weekly flowers, ran all his errands with you; never went to bed without you, cooked all meals with you in the kitchen - perched up on a counter. Most showers you took together, and almost every night was spent cuddling on the couch or in bed with either a book being shared between you or a new show playing on the mounted flatscreen TV.

Carmy clung because he thought if he showed you acts of his love, it'd allow comfort towards your loving behavior to flourish again - and he was right. It took a little bit of time, but Carmy clung tighter and tighter; ensuring you started to reciprocate before ever easing up in the intensity of his affectionate displays. He didn't want to overwhelm you, but knew you needed the reassurance.

You were cautious, you were apprehensive; tiptoeing around Carmy even when living together before warming back up to him. You didn't need to repeat the words he hurled at you all those weeks ago, not wanting to dredge up repressed feelings, but never letting him forget what he said. Your actions spoke enough, skittish around his affection; something Carmy took note of and despised himself for. He made up for it, of course he did, it was Carmy and he hated tension and conflict in his closest circles of life. Yet it wasn't so easy for you two to move forward, they weren't just words to you.

They were direct insults to you as a person; to you and how you loved others. Carmy had seen your deepest fear and used it as a defense against you - wanting you to hurt the way he was, too. He understood this wasn't acceptable, knowing the next time he resorted to such despicable actions, you'd simply walk away; never dealing with disrespect, so, he needed to be acutely aware of his words.

You would never allow yourself to be someone else's doormat, but part of being an adult is understanding that people were allowed to make mistakes - it's part of being fucking human. How terrible you'd feel if someone held your own mistakes against you, because the truth was, you weren't perfect either.

Part of being in a(n adult) relationship is understanding when someone apologized, it was best to accept and move on because nothing was ever solved by dragging turmoil out. This didn't mean forget what happened, forget whatever emotion was evoked - but to do your part to repair what was broken; no matter who was at fault, it always took Two to Tango.

And in this song and dance, you were ready to sweep around the dance floor if only with Carmy. Because that's what a relationship was; a conscious effort by both partners to work as one, to dance in-sync; owning the art together, as equal partners.

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Clingy Baby collection masterlist

[inbabylontheywept]

i had my wisdom teeth out yesterday, and afterwards my friend came over to torment me (mutually agreed upon torment, we planned this beforehand because we thought it would be funny, and it was).

and he starts asking me calculus questions.

tell me why in my propofol-dazed state, when i couldn't understand how time kept passing, i was shocked by the existence of a Dunkin Donuts that's been by my house for the past two years, and i was amazed by how soft my face felt (i couldn't feel myself touching it, it was trippy), i was still able to get the integral of x^2

granted, i first gave him the derivative, and then i gave him the integral without adding the constant of integration C, and this is basic calculus

but HOW do brains work like this.

you get wheeled out of the dentist's office after saying "i love you" to the nurse, making whale sounds, jabbering about your mother having four eyes and there being wayyyy too many lightswitches on that wall, but you retain enough brain to do math???

I think it's kind of beautiful that, in our first stumbling efforts to make a model of a brain, the hard part has been getting it to stop hallucinating. That maybe the natural state of consciousness is this sort of dreamwalking.

I wasn't put under when I got my wisdom teeth removed, but my dad sedated the crap out of me. I can't even remember the cocktail I was on, but it was stupendous. Xanax and some other things. The dentist had to ask me to stop humming several times. After the third ask, I pointed to the drill he was using and said "OHHHH so it's okay when HE does it."

Afterwards, my parents said I seemed lucid, and I talked and I wasn't sluggish or uncoordinated. They knew I was high, but the first "oh, yeah, he's actually quite high" thing I did was I put an otter pop in the microwave to get it mushy, and then I put the time in, and then I reset the microwave, put the time in, reset, time in, over and over and over for about ten minutes. Eventually my little sister stepped in and asked what I was doing, and I explained that I was having a little bit of trouble converting from "normal time" to "microwave time". I'm still not sure what I meant by that, but I think it might have been a binary conversion because the time I'd set it for was 10:10:10

(I have killed more good microwaves that way.)

Brains are cool. You know? I like how much they do without being guided to. I describe the sensation of being me, sometimes, as riding an elephant. And the conscious brain is me, and it gets to watch and want things and make its case to the elephant. And sometimes, the elephant plays along and does some incredibly powerful elephant thing and that great, but other days, it decides to eat eggs. And to some extent, I really am just along for the ride.

i'm not sure where I'm going with this. Perhaps your elephant is quite good at math.

[nastyaromatherapy]

virgin ethan finally deciding to loose his virginity to reader, who he'd been dating for months now. knows shes the one who he wants to spend the rest of his life with...just super sweet smut with subby ethan and reader practically spoiling him. maybe even some aftercare at the end? hes soso greatful </3 MAYBE could take place on their first valentine's day too...

i need this boy rn

Valentine's Day (18+)

Taking Ethan's virginity on valentine's day.

pairing - virgin!Ethan Landry x fem!reader

idek what this is, js enjoy it

one shot length, 1.5k+ word fic

warnings: oral and PIV with protection, weirdly fluffy, rlly rushed

The loose powder spilled everywhere, making you groan to pick it up. It was the half way marker of your makeup routine, the same one you did for date nights with Ethan. You'd been dating him for about six months, and this would be the two of you's first valentines day together.

The boyfriend effect really affected you. After getting with Ethan you didn't invest as much time or effort into your looks because he didn't care. He always thought you looked gorgeous no matter what. For dates however, you always wanted to spend extra time looking good, especially on holidays like this.

As you swept the powder off the floor with your hands, you wondered what Ethan had in store for tonight. Would he buy you flowers? A new dress?

Flowers.

You ran into Ethan's arms at the park you decided to meet up at, his forearm extending so you didn't crush the bouquet in his hands. The fragrance of your shampoo invaded his sinuses, and he chuckled at the sent he purchased for you. “Happy valentine's day,” he softly spoke after pulling away from the embrace, sheepishly handing you the roses.

You stood on your toes to sweetly peck his lips before landing back on your heels, taking the arrangement of flora in your hands. “Thank you, Eth,” you said, smiling gently at the boy.

“Where do you wanna eat? I heard the new pastry place that opened up was good.” You nodded, liking the idea. “Donuts sound really good,” you beamed.

Donuts.

Ethan wiped the jelly and powder off your lips with his thumb, and when it didn't come off, he licked a napkin and started to scrub your face. “Ethan, gross!” You giggled jokingly, grateful for his affectionate gesture.

“This place is good,” he nodded, biting into his éclair. You agreed and leaned back onto his lap, laying in the grass at the park. The ambience was calm and peaceful. You wanted to lay at that park till nightfall, till the moon reflected in the lake and the street lamps turned on.

Until then, you and Ethan strolled around the streets, talking, drinking random drinks from places you'd never heard of. You walked in your ballet flats and sun dress, goosebumps painting the skin of your legs.

“Cold?” He asked with a chuckle, making you slap his upper arm. “Yeah,” you responded, clinging onto his arm for extra warmth. “We can go home. Actually I wanted to ask you about something.” You stopped your walking and turned to him. “What is it?” He brushed you off, “I'll tell you later.”

Once back at your place, you collapsed on the couch after kicking off your shoes, Ethan following closely behind. "So.. what was it you wanted to tell me?" You asked him. He inhaled, a little nervous, before sitting next to you. “I- you know how I'm a virgin, right?” He asked you to which you nodded in return. “I was wondering if, if you wanted to take my virginity tonight?” He asked just barely above a whisper, making your eyes open up wide like saucers.

“Ethan,” you cooed, your hand finding its way to his knee. “I'd love too.” He softly exhaled as he was holding his breath. His eyes looked up to yours as you climbed onto his lap, your hands behind his neck. You tilted your head before leaning down to interlock your lips with his as you rolled your hips against him. He groaned at the unfamiliar sensation, hands shifting from your hips, thighs, ass, and waist, not knowing where to leave them.

You giggled before pulling away and grabbing his hands to rest on your ass, letting him know he could grope it through your dress. Small grunts continued to leave his lips as you grinded against him. “I'll take care of you,” you whispered into his ear, pink from his fluster.

You climbed off of his lap and reached for your purse on the other cushion. You pulled out a condom, strawberry flavored of course, and left it in your left hand as you unzipped his jeans with your right. His breath hitched when your palm grazed his slowly growing erection through his boxers, only getting larger by your touch.

“Has a girl even touched you like this before?” You asked, looking up at him to meet his eyes. He shook his head, mostly silent to focus on what was happening to him. You kissed a line up his fabric covered shaft causing him to let out a moan, before you stuck your hand past the waistband into his boxers to release his cock. Your eyes lit up at his size, “God you're perfect,” you didn't mean to mutter aloud.

A flush flooded his cheeks from your compliment, and he bucked his hips into your touch as you started to roll the condom onto him, fitting him snug. “Thank you,” he whispered, thankful for your words and eagerness to take him.

You wrapped your fist around his base, not too tight, slowly stroking him. He whimpered when you licked a stripe up his shaft, before wrapping your lips around the head. He closed his eyes, still getting used to the feeling, but when he opened them, he didn't ever want to close them, not even for a blink, again.

He watched as you were happy to please him, pink nails wrapped around his base with another set on his thigh. Your eyes were cast with a red tint as they teared, your sinuses getting clogged. He continued to squirm from the sensation of the blowjob, which he's never experienced. The strawberry taste invaded your palate, only making it more blissful. He was soon a whimpering mess which you found cute, he hasn't even felt your cunt yet.

You pressed your thighs together and moaned onto his cock, growing more aroused by each sound he let loose. You pulled off of him, a trail of saliva stringing off your lips, before pulling your dress over your head, revealing your uncovered tits. His cock twitched at the sight, and you saw how some of the tip of the condom was already bubbling with precum. He whined at the prolonged seconds without your mouth around him.

You climbed onto his lap once more, only in your Brandy panties. “Please,” he begged, wanting to be inside you so badly. “Patience, Eth,” you spoke. You reached up his shirt, caressing his stomach, before helping him pull it off over his head, exposing his toned chest. You quickly slid your panties down to your ankles, eager to take him.

His eyes shut as he muttered “fuck, fuck, fuck's,” when you rubbed his tip against your wet folds. If this was a dream, he didn't want to wake up. “Oh,” you gasped when you poked the tip into your entrance, before fully sitting on him. He arched his back as your walls clamped around him, voice cracking into your ear.

“That okay?” You asked breathily. In response he nodded. “Please keep going,” he begged. You laid your hands on his chest as you bounced on his cock, mouth agape as pretty sounds erupted out. As you rode his sensitive cock, tears welled in his eyes from the intensity. He whimpered excessively as his hand found their way to your waist and breast, lightly squeezing it.

You gasped, mouth shaping into an o as he grasped your tit, making you clench around him just a bit tighter. When he noticed the correlation he continued to massage your breasts, loving the way your walls wrapped around his cock. “You're so tight,” he grunted through gritted teeth.

“Eth, try fucking me,” you taught. You lifted yourself up slightly and laid your hands on his slender shoulders. “Just thrust up- shit!” You cried when he quickly caught on and started plowing into you. “Fuck Ethan, you're gonna make me cum,” you whined into his ear as he fucked your cunt, chest heaving against yours.

He started huffing, biting his lip as he concentrated on his movements. “Fuck, oh fuck I'm gonna cum,” he groaned, leaving you little time to react before burying himself into you and releasing into the condom. Acting quickly, wanting to finish as well, your finger pads made contact with your clit, rubbing circles around it. You moaned as your pussy spasmed, finishing on his softening cock.

He quickly pulled out while holding on the base, and you helped him to remove the condom, leaving it on the coffee table to be cleaned later. You let your head rest in the crook of his neck, heavily breathing together. “Did- did you cum?” He asked after catching his breath, a rookie question. “Yeah,” you panted.

You sniffed in the musky scent of his neck, growing tired on his lap. “Thank you, y/n, that felt so good.” You sighed, “You did so good.” You cupped one of his cheeks and kissed his jawline before speaking, “How's that for a valentine's day gift?” You chuckled against his collar bone. He smiled and wrapped him arm around your waist, pulling you in close. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I love you so much,” he admitted, kissing your head lightly. “I love you too, E.”

[roosterforme]

Always Ever Only You Part 12 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Asking your friends for help when you need it is starting to feel good instead of scary. Even listening to Cat open up doesn't sting like it once did. Bradley starts to have an ominous feeling about his upcoming mission, and when the details are revealed, he's left wondering what his career will be like in the future.

Warnings: Angst, swearing, fluff

Length: 4400 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Always Ever Only You masterlist. Gorgeous banner by @mak-32

There was truly something to be said for the way you felt after you talked to Dr. Genevieve. Even though your period was a few days late, and you had been holding out hope, you didn't go quite to pieces when it did end up starting. Sure, there were some tears as you opened up a new box of tampons, but you didn't dwell on it as much as you had the past several cycles in a row. 

In fact, when you thought you couldn't take the physical pain of your cramps and the mental pain as well, you called Maria. You told her that you didn't want to be alone and asked if she could stop by. And she came over with a backpack and some donuts. 

"What's in the bag?" you asked as you bit into a Boston cream. 

"Clothes for tomorrow," she replied, petting Tramp while she ate a chocolate donut with sprinkles. "I figured I could sleep over."

"You don't have to," you whispered, now feeling a little embarrassed. 

But she just shrugged. "I've been a little lonely, too. My new roommate has never been as fun as you were."

"Nobody is," you added, biting into a second donut. You figured you earned it, since you'd started to get back on track with what you were eating. "Thanks for joining me in the cafeteria at work."

"Thanks for actually coming to lunch. Cam is hella boring to eat with every day."

You groaned and headed for the couch with a bottle of wine. "Ugh, I left you hanging with Cam. I'm sorry." You were going to be better about taking care of everything. Yourself, your marriage, Bradley, and your friends. 

Maria just laughed and followed behind you with two glasses and a corkscrew. "I love him, but he's still a dude. And just inherently dumb. He can't help it."

The girl talk ended up spiraling into a great weekend, and when you went to work on Monday morning, you still felt good. And Bickel had been a saint, not acting weird or giving you too much distance at all since you broke down hard in his office. Sure, maybe he was asking you how you were feeling with a little more frequency, but he kept your workload the same and never questioned anything you handed in to him.

And then there was Cat. Since you kind of blew the Jake thing up in her face, she'd been very quiet. Jake was still claiming nothing was going on now, but you'd never have been able to get an answer out of Cat one way or the other. And now you were thinking maybe you should have just minded your own business. Because Jake seemed melancholy, and he hadn't actually ended things himself even after he learned about Uncle Hondo. 

"Good morning," you said to Cat later in the week when you walked into the lab. She seemed surprised you were greeting her.

'Hi," she responded, slipping back into her usual state of calm immediately. "If you're about to ask about the calculation set, I'm almost done. I just need another hour or two."

"No rush," you replied. "Um, actually, I was wondering if you wanted to join me for lunch today?"

She eyed you skeptically. "In the cafeteria?"

You shrugged. "Or my office?"

When Cat didn't respond right away, you wanted to kick yourself. But then she said, "I feel like you and I just keep getting off to bad start after bad start with each other. I'd like to eat with you, but I don't want to go down to the cafeteria. At all. Just looking at Lieutenant Seresin makes me want to hide."

"Care to elaborate?" you asked cautiously. 

She just smirked. "Sure. Over lunch. In your office."

---------------------------

Bradley had stripped down to his underwear and gym shorts, and he was currently trying his hardest to meditate on his bed. Bob had spent the last several weeks patiently trying to explain to him exactly what went into it, but Bradley would reach a state of calm and then inevitably get distracted. 

He cracked his eyes open to see Bob in a state of complete relaxation on his own bed. Something about this just didn't work as well for him, and his brain was buzzing, so Bradley reached for his notebook instead. There were too many things he wanted to write down. It felt like he wasn't going to be able to stop emptying out all of his feelings now that he started, and after several weeks, the notebook was mostly full. 

The desire to be at home was overwhelming. Thinking about eating homemade Marry Me Rooster with his wife perched on his lap was all that was getting him through this deployment. As soon as he was home, he'd make sure you knew exactly what you meant to him. There were no conditions on his love, and he was embarrassed and crushed that maybe he made you think there were. 

He only had a few more weeks to go. But things with the mission were looking abysmal. Slayer and Charmer were getting worse to deal with by the day, and the way the admirals praised them was beyond ridiculous. Like the shiny, new aviators were somehow better than the ones with more experience. Like Bradley, Nat and Bob couldn't keep up now. It was hard to keep believing that the admirals would actually put the best team together to complete the mission. 

"Wow," Bob suddenly said, stretching his arms over his head and removing his glasses. "That was a great session."

"Yep," Bradley agreed, nodding as he scribbled in the notebook. "Really good, Bob."

But the other man was already pulling the bedding up to his shoulders, and Bradley knew he'd be asleep soon. "Good for you," he muttered, returning to his notebook. 

Nat and Bob were so good to him, this deployment should have been a breeze. And it had improved since he got to talk to you over facetime in the commanding officer's quarters, but he thought he'd go ahead and start a countdown in the notebook anyway. Just eighteen more days until he should be arriving back in San Diego. And he was hoping like hell he would get to call you again before then. 

But a few days later, he still hadn't been selected for another facetime session. And Bob and Nat got called out onto the tarmac after dinner for a repairs inspection that was performed on their Super Hornet. So Bradley headed to the gym for a workout by himself, and the room was thankfully fairly empty. He put in his ear buds and got out his phone. He selected the playlist you made for him last year called This is what a gym playlist should sound like, Bradley and he smiled. 

Pretty soon he was sweating, working his way through some bicep curls, when he saw Slayer out of the corner of his eye. He would ignore him. No problem. Only two weeks left to go. Only a few more days until the mission. "Do not engage," Bradley muttered to himself. 

But of course he couldn't control what Slayer decided to do, and the idiot wandered over toward him. And then he snatched his phone off of the bench, and Bradley was on his feet immediately, still clutching the fifty pound dumbbell in his left hand. 

"What the hell do you want?" Bradley asked, plucking one ear bud out. "It's bad enough I have to see you in the classroom all day."

Slayer just laughed, and Bradley realized he was staring at his lock screen. "Just wanted another look at your wife. How much younger is she, old man? She got a grandpa fetish or something?"

Bradley's fingers tightened around the dumbbell, and he wished he'd given more of an effort to meditating with Bob. 

He was seething. And then Slayer asked him, "You know what? Why don't you just give me her number so I can keep her warm next time you're out of town?"

Bradley had to fight the urge to throw the dumbbell at him. "You talk an awful lot for someone so stupid."

"And you strut around like you own the place for something who can barely fly."

Bradley's blood was boiling now. The admirals had pumped these kids so full of bullshit, there was going to be no arguing with him. Instead he snatched his phone out of Slayer's hand and pocketed it. "And you're slow as shit versus an old man. Now get back to your bunk, it's almost curfew for the children."

Slayer smirked at him as he backed away toward an empty weight bench. "Just wait. You'll see."

--------------------------

You had made it this far, you could make it two more weeks. But you got your period again, right on time. And you knew it was ridiculous to get choked up when you had to get the tampons and pads out again, because Bradley wasn't even home. You hadn't had intercourse since he left six weeks ago. You knew there was no way. But just the idea of knowing another cycle was ending had tears stinging behind your eyes. 

When you heard the doorbell, you quickly washed your hands and rushed out to where Tramp was practically howling at the front door. "Chill out," you told him. "You'll be happy. You loved him last time."

"Hi," Cat said as soon as you opened the door, and you saw Hondo pull away in his green Chevy. Jeremiah was in her arms, and once again, he smiled when he saw you. Things at work were a lot better, including having several nice conversations with Cat.

"Sorry, little guy," you said softly as they came inside. "No Rooster this time."

Cat laughed. "I think your dog will suffice. He loves animals."

When you closed the door, you watched Tramp follow them over to the couch, and then he started licking Jeremiah's little hands nonstop while the baby laughed. "If he's annoying, I can put him out back for a bit."

"No," Cat said as she and her son both laughed. "This is great." And then Jeremiah broke free from her arms and stood with both hands on Tramp. And you swore your dog had never been happier either. 

A little pang of sadness struck your heart as Tramp looked all too delighted at the attention he was being given. You were searching for a safe topic of conversation. Cat had been joining you for lunch on occasion, which was great. But now you found that you had so many friends, you needed to juggle your time with them. Cam and Cat were a little awkward around each other. And Cat wouldn't tell you exactly how she felt about Jake, but you knew Jake was sad and Cat was avoiding him.

So you asked her, "You still feel like hiding from Jake at work?" It seemed like a safe enough topic, and you almost laughed when she covered her face and collapsed dramatically against the arm of the couch. 

"Please! You keep asking me about this!"

"I'm curious by nature," you claimed. "And you never really told me anything."

She glanced at you as Jeremiah went crawling across the floor after Tramp. "I'm still embarrassed that I even kissed him in the first place. Uncle Bernie and I had it out several times about all the push ups, but he was just trying to take care of me. And I know that sounds like an excuse, but... keeping someone like Jake away from me is probably his top priority while Jer and I are living with him."

You tried to keep your composure, because you and Cat seemed to finally be getting along, but you just couldn't understand why she wouldn't give Jake a chance for real. "He's a good guy, Cat. God... I can't even tell you how many times he's helped me out and made me feel safe."

She turned to face you where you sat at the other end of the couch. "He's exactly like my ex husband. A cocky, handsome aviator who is too smart for his own good."

You shrugged and kind of nodded, because that definitely sounded like Jake. "Well whatever your ex did to piss you off, I doubt Jake would be the same. Are you afraid he won't accept Jeremiah?"

She swallowed hard. "I'd rather not even find out where he stands on his opinions about my son. And listen, there's a reason why my ex husband never met Jeremiah. And it's the same reason I never let him know our son's social security number or where we ran off to. I'm sure he has a hunch that I was able to transfer to Top Gun, but Mike is definitely too scared to come sniffing around for more while I'm with Bernie."

You shook your head in confusion. "Come sniffing around for more of what?"

"Money," she said simply, but her jaw was set, and she looked ready for a fight. And you should have probably known all along that there was more than what she had told you over the past few months. You were pretty sure you were the only one who even knew about Jeremiah, besides Bradley and Cam. And if Cat was the type of person who took their time opening up to people, you were surprised that you were the one she was talking to about this.

"He wants your money?" you asked softly. 

Since she borrowed your car, you knew she didn't have one, and she said that she was broke. But your jaw dropped open when she said, "Mike was dishonorably discharged from the navy for showing up to work drunk and drinking while on base. He tanked his own career, and nobody in Annapolis could even look at me the same after that."

"Why would he do that?"

She laughed, but she looked like she was going to cry. "Because I told him I was pregnant."

Jeremiah was laying on his back now while Tramp licked his neck, and he was giggling up a storm. "I'm so confused," you told her. "He didn't want you to get pregnant?"

"Well he told me he would be happy to have kids. But by the time I told him I was pregnant with Jer, he had already opened four credit cards in my name. He had already lost all of our savings. And he knew I was going to find out about all of it as soon as I mentioned us opening a bank account for our unborn child."

"Oh."

When she met your eyes, she shook her head. "He has a gambling addiction." You watched as she wiped at her cheek. "I used to own a beautiful house," she said, glancing around longingly. "I had a car. He and I had money saved. But he managed to lose all of it, plus the credit card advancements in my name. I owe more than half a million dollars in money that I didn't spend. Money that I never saw. And that doesn't include what I've paid to my lawyers. Mike did all of that while I thought we were building a life together."

"Holy shit," you whispered. You felt nauseous just thinking about it. And you were suddenly even more thankful for Bradley.

"So yeah... cocky, headstrong aviators might be my type on paper, but I can't get involved. And I'm sorry I was leading Jake on. But, it's not just him. I can't get serious with anyone when my life is a trainwreck that I will never be able to recover from. I'm going to be spending the rest of my life trying to make sure this doesn't all fall to him," she said, nodding toward where Jeremiah was now crawling back toward the couch with Tramp following right behind him.

"I'm sorry," you whispered. "I don't know what else to say except that you didn't deserve any of that, and neither did Jeremiah."

She reached down to scoop him up into her arms as he yawned. "Yeah well, I hope you're smarter than me. I hope you had a prenup."

You sat quietly and watched as she kissed Jeremiah's forehead and reached into the diaper bag she brought with her so he could eat some cereal. Cat had been honest with you. She told you months ago that she was jealous of you, and now you knew why. You had all these things that you were taking for granted. 

For some reason, you thought she ought to know that you'd been jealous all along, too. "You still have something so good though. Something I wish I had."

She looked at you like you'd completely lost it while Jeremiah ate some Cheerios. "What? A marriage that ended in shambles and a career that is hanging on by a thread? Or the inability to ever have someone take you seriously in a relationship ever again?"

"No. Jeremiah."

She looked at you, and her face dropped. "Oh." And maybe she realized that meant you and Bradley had been trying unsuccessfully, but you changed the subject before she could ask any questions. 

"But that doesn't matter, really. And you know, there are some things we do have control over here."

"Like what?" she asked, and when you smiled softly, she smiled back.

"Jake. I think you might be surprised by him, Cat. I think he'd be good with Jeremiah."

"No," she replied right away. "I'd rather not even find out. Besides, it's already too late with Jake. Even if he was going to stop sleeping around, it's done. He asked me out at least fifteen times. And I said no at least fifteen times."

"If he asked you out again, would you say yes?"

You jumped several inches when your doorbell rang again, and Tramp ran for the door like he was a professional guard dog. "We didn't even order a pizza yet," you said as you stood. But the closer you got to the door, you thought you knew who it must be, and you answered it anyway.

"Angel," Jake drawled, bending to pet Tramp who immediately turned into a puppy again at the prospect of pets from one of his favorite people. "Just thought maybe you'd want to get dinner and head to the Hard Deck later?"

When you didn't respond right away, Jake pushed the door open wider and let himself inside. Then you watched him freeze up as he saw Cat sitting on your couch with Jeremiah in her arms. "Cat."

She looked absolutely mortified as she stood up, but she had nowhere to go. She was reliant upon Hondo coming back to pick her up, and Jake was staring right at Jeremiah. "Jake," she said so softly, you could barely hear her across the room.

He huffed out a short breath and ran his fingers through his hair, past the scar on his forehead from the last time he was deployed with Bradley. You weren't sure what you should do, but then he simply said, "You have a kid."

Cat's chin was in the air again, and you knew she wouldn't let Jake or anyone else say one negative thing about that child without consequences. "His name is Jeremiah."

"Jeremiah," Jake repeated, and two sets of matching dark eyes were looking right at him before Jeremiah yawned and fell asleep on his mom's chest. "He's adorable."

Cat sank slowly down so she was sitting on the couch once again, and she looked like the fight was gone, almost like she was exhausted now. You nudged Jake in the ribs and then reached for Tramp's leash where it hung near the door. "I'll be right back. Just going to take him out." But nobody was listening to you. Once the leash was clipped on his collar, Tramp pulled you out onto the front porch. You caught one last glimpse of Jake taking up residence in the spot on the couch you'd vacated, and then you closed the door.

You puttered around the yard with Tramp before deciding to just walk him down to the beach and back. But the early spring air was chilly when the wind picked up across the sand, and you wished you'd taken a minute to grab Bradley's sweatshirt from the hook as well. 

Playing a comparison game in your mind would get you nowhere, you knew that. Everything Cat told you was completely fucked up, but she had to know how that Jeremiah was worth it. And you knew that Bradley was enough, even if it was just the two of you. But now you were a little worried about Jake putting his foot in his mouth. 

When you hustled back down your block, shivering as the breeze picked up some more, you saw that Jake's car was still in your driveway. And when you cautiously let yourself back inside with Tramp, you found Cat and Jake sitting very close together on the couch. And Jake was holding Jeremiah while he slept.

-------------------------

Bradley knew it would be a short call. The mission was scheduled for a few days from now, weather depending. But if he was allowed even five minutes with you, he'd take it any day of the week. 

When you answered his facetime call, you were sitting in your office with your lunch in front of you. "Roo!" you gasped, dropping your fork into your burrito bowl. "I miss you!"

"I miss you, too, Sweetheart."

He watched as you turned to someone off screen and said, "Okay, thanks."

"Who are you eating lunch with?"

"Cat," you replied quickly, and he was a little surprised by that answer. "She just stepped out into the hallway so we could talk. Please tell me you'll be home on time, Bradley."

He smiled and said, "Haven't been notified of any changes, so I think so. Please tell me you got plenty of hot sauce in there."

You laughed and tipped your lunch so he could see all of the green hot sauce. "Absolutely. You know how I like it."

"I do," he replied softly as he examined your face. Beautiful. Just gorgeous. And you looked so much happier now. You looked like you'd been sleeping better. 

"I wish I was sharing my lunch with you."

He nodded. "I've been thinking a lot about our dining room. And how it feels so good to hold you on my lap while we eat a meal off of one plate."

You gasped softly. "I've been thinking about that too." When your eyes drifted closed, you added, "And how you wrap your left arm around me and kiss my neck while he eat."

"Baby Girl." His voice was raspy, and he was aching to be with you right now. "We'll do everything." 

But he only had one more minute with you, and he wanted to know how you were doing. When he asked, you said, "I can tell you when you get home. Tell me about the mission."

"I can't say much. Teams get selected tomorrow morning. Flight is weather dependent. You know the drill."

"I do. I just want you to be safe," you told him softly. "Need you to come home."

"I'll be there so soon. I love you."

And after that, he still felt so good as he got to the classroom a few minutes early the next morning. Admiral Dean smirked at him as he took his usual seat, and the room started filling up. Other than the fact that he had to stare at the back of Slayer's head, he was ready to get this mission in the air and get home.

"As you well know," Admiral Dean started, "the final details will not be set in stone until the day of the mission. So we are left with two options, and we need to be clear on both of them. Option A: the two teams will fly in formation and strike the communications tower first before proceeding to the enemy base. This is the preferred option as we would be removing multiple streams of communication first, but we may need to switch to an alternate flight path if they have too many aircrafts in the air. So that brings us to Option B, in which you will strike the base first and then loop around to the communications tower."

Bradley's brain was literally numb from listening to this information over and over again. He understood the importance of what needed to be done, but this was overkill now. When he glanced at Nat, she looked like she was on the verge of falling asleep. Until Dean spoke again.

"If there are no questions, that brings us to team selections. Four aircrafts will be flying this mission. We've chosen the best, and I am already convinced of the success of this mission. The teams will be as follows: Slayer will be paired with Phoenix and Bob."

His heart sank. Shit. That was supposed to be Bradley's pairing. Fucking Slayer. But it probably didn't matter too much if he was flying alongside a different two-seater, just as long as he was in the air with his friends. Really, all four aircrafts were responsible for keeping each other safe, so he wouldn't be too far from them at all. 

"And the second team will be Charmer paired with Terror and Mack."

It took a second to register. But slowly, it seemed like everyone in the room was turning to stare at Bradley. Admiral Dean looked smug. Nat and Bob looked distraught. And Slayer looked damn near delighted. Then Charmer turned to him and laughed. 

And Bradley had the fleeting thought that his career was over. He was the oldest aviator in the room by a few years. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was falling short with proving himself in the air just as he had been messing things up on the ground with you. And that sick, embarrassed feeling in his stomach was there to stay as all those thoughts took up permanent residence in his mind.

-----------------------------

Oh. That stings. That really hurt my feelings. Bradley could fly circles around them. And how do we feel about Jake? Cat? Jeremiah? Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 13

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

@swthxrry

@chassy21

@yaboid19

@solacestyles

@avoirlecoupdefoudre

@daisyhollyxox

@throwinsauce

@awesomebooklover17

@wintercap89

@whosyourgnomie4

@rosesinmars

@blog-name6996

@bcon24

@wishfulwithwine

@backinwonderl4nd

@tetragonia

@gingerbreadandpaper

@emptyloverofmine

@chaoticassidy

@missmirandafe

@changlingkhat

@sugarcoated-lame

@avada-kedavra-bitch-187

@katiebby04

@marantha

@averyhotchner

@abaker74

@heli991113

@k-k0129

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@little-wiseone

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@thedroneranger

@bradshawsbitch

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@xomrsalliej4787xo

@desert-fern

[tsukimara]

-ˏˋ⋆➔ Hanako!Venti x gn!reader ⭒

-ˏˋ⋆➔ Genres: Hcs, fluff ⭒

-ˏˋ⋆➔ Hanako From Jshk/tbhk

-ˏˋ⋆➔ Warnings: None! ⭒

-ˏˋ⋆➔ A/N: I need to read tbhk again, last time I read it was 3 years ago. Maybe I will do part 2, hm?

• Surely your first meeting was in the bathroom of the old school building.

• He will scratch his neck awkwardly when he accidentally scares you (He didn't do it on purpose).

• It was hard for you to tell at first whether he was a girl or a boy but later you could tell from the voice.

• "Hey, am I that scary?"

• "...You are a boy?!"

• He will forgive you if you make him apple donuts.

• True, he grants wishes but it also depends on what kind of wish you make. If it's quite simple it will probably work, if not it will be a little problem but he will try to help you anyway.

• If you are quite close he may tell you little bits of his past but not in detail or things he doesn't want to talk about (Still an achievement).

• PLEASE make him apple donuts, they don't even have to be donuts, it can be something else related to apples, however apple donuts would be the best choice.

• This boy will be happy all day long, even though he would rather eat them all, he will give them to you too because after all you made them for HIM.

• Privacy? What's that? Venti loves affection so expect hugs! The good thing is that he's a ghost so people in your class won't see him sticking up to you.

• Of course he will let you go when he sees that you feel uncomfortable and he will apologize to you. Next time he will remember to ask you.

• Be careful because Venti may disturb you a bit during the lesson, for example by trying to make you laugh. This boy loves your smile!

• Even if you keep your head down, he will find a way to make you look at him. It might cause you to start laughing in the middle of the lesson and everyone will look at you strangely. During the break he will start flying away from you, laughing when you try to catch up with him.

• Don't be surprised if you come back home and find in your notebooks his poems or song lyrics special to you. They are so cute and lovely that sometimes you think they are not for you.

• "Is this really for me?"

• "Who else is it for, silly? Of course it's for you! Awww did you like it??"

• He'll love to hear about your interests and even tell you about his own! You will certainly be talking on the school rooftop or in the bathroom.

• Okay, okay but do you guys remember when Hanako kissed Yashiro on the cheek to cast a protection spell on her? OMGGG Imagine Venti doing that on you!!!

• I'm sure that when you finish all your classes or cleaning the bathroom, he will walk you to the school gate and blow you a kiss once you're out of the school grounds.

• When you enter the bathroom you can see him on the floor defeated by Mokke in a card game. He claims they are invincible because they cheat, but he whispered it to you so that Mokke's army wouldn't suddenly attack him.

• If you have any questions he will be happy to answer them but not all of them about his life, he will try to keep you busy with something else.

• "So... What were you like when you were alive?"

• "Y/N it's time to clean the bathroom! I'd love to sing to you while you work!"

• He saw the dissatisfaction on your face, but what could he do?

• If by some miracle you meet his twin, and let's be honest, you definitely will, whether you want to or not, Venti's behavior will become more serious.

• He didn't want you to meet his twin, especially on such a quiet and amazing day. You could see how Venti was uncomfortable around him and kept you away.

• Even if you were to ask about his brother, that's a topic he won't tell you about (yet) and he doesn't know if he ever wants to tell you. He will most likely hide it with a smile and distract you.

• He may be jealous! But he doesn't really show it, although you can still tell he is. He will pull you away from that person by saying he wants to show you something or that he has a gift for you. He will also start teasing you to get your attention.

• "Come on Y/N. I'm sure your friend won't mind if I steal you away for a while!"

-ˏˋ⋆➔ Genshin Impact Masterlist

-ˏˋ⋆➔ Masterlist

-ˏˋ⋆➔ Rules request

[iceinwhb]

I don't know what title to give this.

Ok, Idk if some of you missed it, but I'll give you the context, (I'd like to share the story, but honestly, it's not mine, and the author himself deleted it on his own, so I'm unsure if I can give you anything about it).

But I'll give you a little summary of the situation. The delegates from each kingdom are preparing for a sports festival in which all the kingdoms are participating.

Bael comes up with the idea of giving Mc as a trophy, because Bimet was the one who suggested giving a juicy reward, and Sitri, reluctantly, accepted it. Mc could not oppose the idea because Bael said goodbye too quickly, and Mc meets Marbas, who guides her to the stadium.

On her tour, Mc sees our favorite kings from afar, and Lucifer. Marbas tells her that he chose the outfit, and she tells him that if she continues to count her as a prize in the horse race, if she continues to look at them lewdly.

Marbas leaves MC at the end of the race, for a better view, and then Azathot is the one who narrates the events of the race; Satan on his remodeled motorcycle, Mammon throwing money while calmly galloping, Beel eating a donut while flying in a cluster of flies in the form of a horse, and Levi, who was threatening his horse to win the race, and finally, after all this, Lucifer.

We are mentioned that Lucifer had a habit of riding unicorns, and not only that, but Mc waits impatiently for Lucifer to win. To no one's surprise, Lucifer grabs Mc by the waist and takes her to the stables, where they practice… not questionable acts, of course.

And they make it clear… three things:

The angels' dicks (it is not clear if all of them) provoke orgasms at the slightest penetration (don't laugh, it's real).

2.Lucifer is brutally honest… And he says things that kill the moment (Like Satan, of course).

Ignore that there is something else there, simply, that happened to say hello. (Now he thought not only of God, but also of his brothers, how thoughtful.), and I don't know exactly what that is supposed to mean, if they were having sex. Open speculation, because I think there is a reason they have chastity belts, and Luci is laying the cards on the table.

3. The unicorn was impregnated, because she witnessed Lucifer breaking Mc's vagina/ass.

Apparently, in the WHB world there is no Holy Spirit, but rather, simply the miracle of conception happens upon seeing the sexual act involving an angel (I am doubtful as to whether this works with all angels, and whether God is also included in this phenomenon). It's even made clear that the unicorn is a virgin, so it was “impossible”.

Y… I want to know what exactly it is that gives PB the craziest ideas to put in a single card. Being honest, the really good thing about it all, were the kings' costumes, and how the relationships between the nobles of other countries are.

And an honorable mention to our baby Morax, who almost went with god, because the bandages came undone. :(

Also for Abbadon, who is half prison (why would there be a prison in hell if his rules are so non-descriptive?).

[randoimago]

hi!! I saw you were into the ace attorney games again, and I'd like to request... Edgeworth and Phoenix (separate) with an absolute baker of an s/o.. I'm talking constantly makes them things. coffeecakes, teacakes, even drinks at certain points; and it gets to the point where their offices are just littered with sweets EVERYWHERE (bonus if gumshoe absolutely sneaks some away from their offices hehe) thank you if you write this! have a lovely evening! mwah mwah <3

With an S/O That Won't Stop Baking

Fandom: Ace Attorney

Character(s): Miles Edgeworth, Phoenix Wright

Type of Request: Headcanons

Note(s): Gumshoe absolutely sneaks baked goods out. If he can save money by stealing food from his boss then he will.

Edgeworth

At first, he found all the baked goods ridiculous. He's appreciative, but it's just so much and the last thing he needs is crumbs to get everywhere and mice to move in. Eventually he just gets used to it.

Honestly, he doesn't mind Gumshoe or even Phoenix showing up just to steal a cupcake or something. You make enough to feed a large family (which he hopes to have someday) so they can grab a donut or something. Might start making a small section of the office with baked goods for them to take.

If you ever made him a very fancy cake of foundant and other wild stuff that resembles the courtroom or a Steel Samurai scene then he'll be so hesitant to even touch it because it looks so good. (can you imagine making him a chess piece out of cake and he just doesn't realize until he touches the piece and gets icing all over his hand)

Edgeworth tries to watch his weight so he can stay active and do better with investigations. Your baked goods are causing him to put on a few pounds and develop some pudge. It makes him look softer and he absolutely gives you a stink eye if you mention it.

Phoenix

He thinks it's pretty funny how when his office isn't covered with Trucy's magic stuff and case files that there's baked goods covering the place instead.

Phoenix loves the muffins and pies and such you make him, but sometimes he hardly gets to eat it because his "kids" keep showing up and chowing down before asking him. I mean, between Athena and Maya, you might have to work double time for him to even get a taste of a bear claw.

It would be so cute if you made him little magatama-shaped cookies or cookies shaped like his attorney's badge when he gets his job back. Phoenix makes sure to feed you one because you baked them so you deserve to taste your amazing breakfast/desserts too.

Phoenix doesn't mind if he puts on a few pounds. He gets teased about getting a dad bod by Maya or Trucy, but he doesn't care. As long as he gets to eat your baking then he's happy.

[milliesfishes]

꣑ৎ౨ৎyou and alex get lost in a corn maze꣑ৎ౨ৎ fem reader x alex nilsen

The sun was turning the clouds a delightful shade of pink, like cotton candy was spun right in the sky from the hands of some deity. Cornstalks poked into the vision, spanning far above Alex's head and even further above yours.

You poked your head around the path corner, groaning when a dead end met your eyes. "No, this one's a bust."

"Shoot." Alex scratched his head, turning around and looking behind him. "How far back was the last trail marker?"

"I dunno." You pulled your jacket tighter around you, rubbing your palms together. "Maybe ten minutes?"

"Huh." He squinted into the distance, bumping your shoulder playfully. "I kinda feel like we're in the apocalypse."

"Soon we'll have to eat each other to stay alive."

"I'll take your left hand and you can have mine."

"How chivalrous." You shivered, and he pulled you into a hug, rubbing your arms. "We might have to burn the maze down to stay warm."

"At least we'd see the way out," he murmured, and you giggled. Alex looked down at you like you were utterly adorable, smoothing the back of your head.

You sighed, burying your face in his chest. "You are the only person in the world I'd want to be lost in a corn maze for three hours with."

"Be still my heart," Alex teased, and you hmphed, smiling up at him.

You looped your arm with his since you hadn't passed anybody in the maze for the entire time you'd been here. "C'mon, handsome. Let's get outta here so we can find some hot cider or something."

Alex's cheeks flushed just a little, and you laughed, tugging him along. Truthfully, even though it was getting dark, you weren't at all worried. If three hours had been ten, it wouldn't feel like much at all so long as you were with him.

You began to stand on tiptoes at different intervals, trying to see either through or over the feathery cornstalks. Both attempts failed.

He chuckled watching you. "Need some help there, baby?"

"Uh huh." You turned to him, bouncing on your tiptoes. He grinned, positioning his hands on your hips and hoisting you up, so your legs were hooked over his hips, clasped in the back. You craned your neck, bracing your arms around his neck and leaning in to kiss his nose.

Alex turned around so you could see ahead on the path. You craned your neck, looking around. "This is what you see all the time? The ground is this far away?"

"I guess so, cutie," he smiled. "See a way out?"

"No," you said, sighing and letting him bring you down. "Guess we'll have to get out the old-fashioned way."

You wandered ahead of him, practically skipping as you turned corners in the maze. The sunset illuminated you as you trudged around, humming something to yourself. When you turned around to look at Alex. He smiled wide. "I'll just follow you, babe."

And follow you he did, letting you take the lead and wander your way around. It felt like a game of chase, and you stopped, scrunching your nose. "I think we're almost there."

"Victory." Alex grinned at you as your arm linked through his once more. "Knew you could get us outta here."

"I followed my instincts," you chirped, turning the corner to see the brilliant sight of the exit. Squealing excitedly, you turned to him. "We did it!"

"Good job, baby." Alex kissed your forehead once, and you leaned against him, giving him a loving look. When he touched your hand, his blue eyes widened. "Your hands are cold."

"A little bit." You shrugged.

Alex put your hand in his closest pocket, wrapping an arm around your waist and rubbing your side. "Let's go get you a hot drink."

Guiding you over to the stand selling donuts and cider, he left you under one of the heat lamps radiating warmth from the top with the promise of food and drink.

As you waited, you watched the glowing orb of the sun sink delightfully down under the hills, the moon beginning to appear, early stars dotting the paint palette smeared across the sky. It was beautiful- all of it. You folded your arms over yourself, smiling at the sight.

When Alex returned, he pressed a hot cup of cider into your hands, holding one of his own. "Drink up. Want your insides warm too." You smiled when he put an arm around your shoulders, bringing you right up close. You took a sip of your drink, humming delightedly as it sent a hot chill down your spine.

"Thank you," you murmured, resting your chin on his shoulder.

If the two of you were alone he would have kissed you. "You're welcome."

tagging @kellielovesmovies because <3

[louiesselfshipramblings]

Straw Hat Headcanons! (And selfship eligibility cause like this is a selfship blog still)

Monkey D. Luffy: Nothing really major. Just darker skin to reflect his Fantasy Brazil heritage, and frizzier hair. I don't wanna say just what Iñaki Godoy looks like, but...yeh, what Iñaki Godoy looks like. Self ship eligibility...no shade to peeps who do, love ya, but I see my boy Luffy as AroAce king. Man was immune to a fruit literally EVERY man was vulnerable to, and he didn't even realize it! On the scale, 0/10 [for me personally].

Roronoa Zoro: Yeh similar to Luffy. Prob darker skin, but him being Japanese, I get a paler complexion. Also he is def a closeted gay man for Sanji. Gonna be so cool when they find the One Piece and the two make out. Very progressive and cool. Tho he's not my type; too emotionally unavailable, and passes it off as being "cool". Fuck you, Zoro! But I still love your goofy ass. Be silly again! 1/10

Nami: NAMI!!!! She should be FAT!! She should be BIG!!! She should be able to eat everything she wants now because she's a free pirate, goddammit!!! And she should still be seen as beautiful cause she's a Straw Hat!!! LET HER KILL PEOPLE WITH HER CLIMATE BATON, YOU LET HER DO THAT IN PUNK HAZARD AND NEVER AGAIN ODA WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!! (Can you see who I made this list for. Shush, it's a secret.) I was late on the Nami train tbh, but when I hoped on I hoped HARD. Nami is so wife...I wanna make her happy...I get it, Sanji...now move it and let me date her! You can have Zoro! Oh, and I could personally see her as pan. 11/10

Usopp: Please. Come on. You know what I'm gonna say. Usopp, my boy...he needs his melanin back even though he barely had it in the first place in both anime and manga but sshhhhhh. The boy's South African, and is explicitly played by the clearly black Jacob Romero Gibson. I suppose Oda is bad at coloring and all, but I see you Toei. I see you still keeping Blackbeard black while making Usopp paler. Racist ass studio...also, no donut lips. I'd still say he'd have thicker lips, but not exaggerated to that, and if it don't work with the style, don't have em, no biggie. And Oda CAN draw Usopp without them cause he DID when he drew Jacob AS Usopp in that promotional letter, SO WHY DON'T YOU DRAW USOPP MORE LIKE JACOB NOW, ODA!?!?!? Ahem...I feel Usopp could be a bi boy. Genderfluid, or maybe in a way to boost his ego. You understand. Personally, I feel I would have to be very lucky to get with GOD Usopp, but maybe, just maybe...6/10.

Sanji: Tbh, he got off most easy for the New World redesigns. Really only switched his bangs and grew some beard. Kinda ugly but in that charming way, ya know? No real changes, he can be the Straw Hats local white boy. Just...please tone down the pervness. I was joking with the Luffy-Iñaki stuff, but please, make Sanji like he is in the live action. I will say he's been on good behavior since Fish-Man Island, so...I'd say Sanji is bi, maybe gay, but I find it funny the hypotheticals that a bi Sanji would be useless cause he couldn't hit men or women. But anyway Sanji is the reason Zoro comes outta the closet and they kiss at the end. But for me...he's not my type, but less not my type than Zoro, so...2/10

Tony Tony Chopper: Oh, Chopper. Poor, poor little thing you. Salty was right; Enies Lobby was the last time you were allowed to be interesting. Tho, I agree, with all the New World upgrades, I suppose controllable Monster Point was the one thing he needed...I mean I feel accessing his other forms without the Rumble Ball is fine enough. Maybe like...semi controllable Monster Point? I dunno. I feel his New World design cutes him up too much...reduce the hat down a bit and keep the goofier face he had from Drum Island, aka the best damn arc in the manga, argue with the wall. Man, I really hope he gets some cool shit when his Human-Human Fruit awakens, RIGHT, Oda!?!? Oh and self shipping? Uh...that's a child. -1/10

Nico Robin: Robin...oh, I love you. Not as much as Nami as I've come to realize, as she's a bit more my type but gosh I love Robin. She's been gettin a lotta love recently, for obvious reasons if keepin up, which I like. Main things with her is bring her bangs back (which the manga is already doin for super emotional reasons), and like Usopp, give her darker skin! Doesn't have to be as dark as Usopp, but some darker complexion would be nice. "But it was a tan, she's Russian". A tan she had for TWENTY YEARS? And only lost over a TWO year time skip? There can be black Russians. Toei inadvertently cooked early on and they were cowards for reversing that. I make it secret I enjoy thicker women, but honestly I think Robin works better as a lanky beanpole. Not to the...proportions Oda draws but def lean and tall. Good contrast to her buff hubby Franky. For fits, I'd really liked to see her wear more mom-style fits, or back to Cowboy Robin. Cowboy Robin was peak, argue with the wall. I feel she could be pan, maybe demigirl? Feels right with her powers, oddly enough. And like yeah, she's my fave behind Nami for Straw Hat self ship. 9/10

Franky: Franky is already SUPER perfect as is, and even his New World style has grown on me. Buuuuuuut...ugh, the shoulder pads...too much. I get he's top heavy, but that's just a bridge too far. I like his forearms being bigger, those should be kept. And maybe less "meaty"/thick fingers; I like em big, but it's funny he has a second pair of small hands in em. Def some more mechanical detail over his bod. His default hair should also go back to the pomp. I like the gimmick he changes it each arc, but the standard buzzcut kinda sucks. Like actually. You gotta understand, I consider pre-time skip Franky perfect character design. Legit, Oda peaked with him. Franky, def bi, but I could see him being trans! Maybe a bit on the nose with the whole "rebuilt himself" background, but it could work! Robin too, tbh. They can be t4t. Not my preferred, but cute! As he is, Franky is def a hunk. I like em big, yeh, and would prefer him fat strong, but strong on its own is nice. 7/10

Brook: Oh, Brook. Poor, poor Brook. It would have been so much better had there been another full arc between Thriller Bark and Sabaody to really get you with the crew (whichyoucankindaachivebywatchingFilmStrongWorldinbetweenTBandSAbutanactualbreatherarcbeforethetimeskipwouldhavebeennice), but even then you are still the best Straw Hat. Again. The wall. Suppose it's made up for the fact he's with the gang for the whole arc even before officially joining, which hadn't been done since, like, Usopp on Syrup Village, damn. But yeh! Like Franky, I kinda consider Brook's pre-time skip design peak, and his New World fit...bad. I get what it's goin for, but it's too many ideas! I feel Oda realizes that cause a lot of Brook's fits have been just his old look (Dressrosa, Whole Cake, Onigashima), which is nice. Skeleton in a suit and top hat, it's a classic. I like the crown hat tho for the "Soul King" aesthetic, but maybe smaller. More top hat than crown. And maybe he can just have themed suits, ya know? And yeh...like Sanji, turn down the perv elements. Like, it was funny the first two times cause "Haha, a skeleton asked for WHAT!?" but it lost its luster after that. At the very least, he's been on good behavior; last he did it genuinely was Punk Hazard I think, but he also pulled it on Big Mom at the end of Whole Cake is a genuinely awesome way (makes sense in context). Also, I feel Brook should be black. I get he's a skeleton now, obvs, but I dunno. Feels right for the Soul King. I have a feeling he'd be asexual—not out of choice, but...ya know—and maybe some level of agender? He is a skeleton after all. Who knows what being like that does do your personal perception. As a partner...eh. I love him, but as a friend! I'd wanna be a string duet with him! I feel Brook should be with a very specific type of person, ya know? Not that he's not my type, just I'm not for him. 3/10

Jimbei: Honestly, I'm not as madly in love with Jimbei as everyone else is! Yeah, he's great. Great in Impel Down, Fish-Man Island, Whole Cake, Wano. He's great! But I'm not drooling over him like some peeps are. And hey, more power to ya! Not much I'd change about his design...maybe make him thicker? Like, fat fat! Around the arms and such! Make him look like a strongman; would contrast nice to Franky's more bodybuilder-inspired physique. Maybe show off him being a lil older too? Gray streaks in his hair, hair a lil frizzy? Idk, just rambling. Tbh, Jimbei is either gay or straight. Feels right for him. As for me...he'd be a decent catch. Get it. Cause. Fish? Heh...5/10.

And that's em all! Granted, I have a few other, bigger OP crushes. Not many more (Perona, Law, Lilith), and I could include some honorary Straw Hats like my daughter Vivi and the cool boy guy man Yamato and maybe Lilith again cause I have theories tee hee hee. But eh, wanted to cover the main crew, so if I do wanna cover the others, I'll do it in a reblog. Who knows.

[d34dlysinner]

Hi hi~ I can't get over the reaction of Ppyong after eating chocolate from human world, especially that it got compared to Beelzebub's cooking.

I'd like to request a scenario of Kings (and Sitri with Zagan, if that's OK with you) trying some human food~ I don't exactly know what dish or sweets to propose

Have a great day and best luck in gacha!

(Thanks! XD also wish you a great day and luck in gacha)

Satan loves snake venom wine. The moment you heard that you wondered if you should actually give him human food. Thinking that it'll be too plain for him. So you started small. Giving the human like variant of his favourite food. Just normal red wine. And you were right. It was too plain for him, but it didn't mean that he hated it. He then tried various desserts, donuts, cakes. He had to admit that he liked those more than the wine you gave him.

Beelzebub loved many types of food. He is a great cook after all. So when he tasted human food he wasn't all too surprised with liking it. What did surprise him was that good human food was on par with his cooking.

"You humans eat like this every day without any side effects?... I should come here more."

He does like the chaos that comes out of his decisions and creations, hut he had to admit that at times he probably doesn't have the greatest control over what exactly happens after eating his food.

Mammon favourite food was peach. So he atleast could easily enjoy peaches in the human world. You eventually introduced him to many desserts and dishes that contained peach or other fruits similar to peaches. He liked them all. He would even ask you to prepare some of those dishes from time to time. Or let someone who serves him master in cooking those dishes.

Leviathan would seem like the type to be a picky eater. He would take his time choosing what he wants to eat and when he doesn't know he'll let you decide. That's what happens when you offer him a menu in the human world. You both sat at a cafe as you waited for him to pick. He eventually went and picked what you took. "Human food is so confusing... but I'll understand once I ate some of it...", he says as he observes the dish in front of him.

Zagan was being his usual self. He didn't say much when you offered him some food. He didn't say much when he ate the food, but he did thank you. You kind of had to guess what he thought of the food with just his expressions. Him humming wasn't enough for you to decipher his thoughts. You were happy when he decided to close his eyes and silently enjoyed the food with a slight smile on his face.

Sitri is a man who loves tea. And there's nothing that goes better with tea than cookies and cake. So you promised Sitri to bring him some human worldly food for him to try with his tea. You started out simple and brought some cookies with you. He thanked you for the food as he observed the treats up close. He took one out and bit a little of the cookie as he savored the taste. "Sweet... It'll work nicely with some teas I have." He says as he thanks you yet again for introducing him to human world foods.

[romanoffsbish]

If You Want to Be My Lova

Yelena Belova x PlusSize!FemReader

Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff

A/N: Though I identify R as plus size, I didn’t give her much description to leave it open to a broader range of readers who struggle with loving their bodies. (Pssst, you’re beautiful—I just know it’s true 🥺) | 3,912 Words

Warnings: Steve’s a fat shaming asshole, Body Image Insecurity. Alluded to/never specified eating disorder.

A/N 2.0: I personally detest Steve, but to be clear I don’t genuinely think he’d be like this, I just needed an antagonist.

Request

Steve watched from across the counter as you wandered into the kitchen, your water in one hand and your phone in the other as you perused the kitchen in search of breakfast. He'd seen the exact moment your eyes lit up when you saw the pink boxes on the counter.

An unnecessary wave of glee ran through him as he prepared to open his mouth and speak, "Are you sure you want to eat that Y/N? If you're serious about losing weight why not look into eating some rolled oats with berries?"

He was being vindictive, you'd grown used to it after you worked your magic and got Natasha to finally ask out Wanda, he's been visibly bitter over the situation ever since. The talking point of your weight was easy enough for him to cling to, he was in peak fitness, and it would only come off as a concerned friend trying to help you reach a "better" state of wellness.

What he failed to consider was Wanda was on her way into the kitchen as well, and she was able to see the exact moment your spirit broke. The light in your eyes faded fast, and the donut in your hand was gently set back into the box, she saw the way your lip wobbled, and your eyes filled with not only tears, but dread too.

——

It enraged her honestly, you were the sweetest person around these parts, and deserved to be treated with nothing less than love and respect.

Steve saw it too, the way you bit your lip and closed your eye's tight to try and reel your feelings in. Crying over it changes nothing...

He went to lift his mug of coffee to his lips as if he was accomplishing something amazing, his smile smug as ever when you turned away, but it fell fast when the steaming contents of his mug were sloshing over the edge of the glass in a way that could only be explained with magic.

He hissed as the drink scalded him through his thick cotton shirt, his chest on fire now, and in a dramatic manner he removed the stained shirt to reveal his toned abs, and ripped arms.

"Wanda, what the fuck was that for?" He called her out immediately, and so she entered the kitchen with a victorious smile, and red tinged fingertips. "Whatever do you mean Rogers?"

"I know what you did."

"Yeah, and I too know what you did," she glares menacingly in his direction while also setting a reassuring hand onto your shoulder, "I'd say the punishment fits the crime."

Steve glared right back, and you finally turned to see what must've occurred to cause this rift, you felt guilt gnawing at your gut, it wasn't a fair feeling, but yet you could feel it festering.

Wanda's fingers continued to spark in shades of a dangerous crimson as the burned man wasn't appearing to be backing down, and you didn't want to involve her any further. It felt sorta unfair for her to fight your battles for you. On account of her being your girlfriends future sister in law, and also because this entire moment was beyond mortifying for you.

To have your insecurities viciously thrown in your face in a public space like this, well it was rather juvenile, and so it made you feel like you were that same kid crying under the bleachers all those years ago when kids were being cruel.

The people pleaser in you won out alongside the embarrassed little one who still resided in your heart, so you took in a shaky breath before trying to calm the witch, "It's okay Wands."

You'd gently settled a hand over hers that still held tightly to your shoulder for comfort, the witch looked back at you, the sad smile you offered didn't calm her though, it only fueled her on. "It's not, especially not when he himself is only a byproduct of a steroidal experiment."

Steve's stance faltered ever so slightly, his ego now efficiently bruised. His mouth spluttered embarrassingly for a moment before he left the kitchen altogether in a grumbling huff.

"Tata Captain Hot Head," she flipped the man off, then turned back to you as you giggled.

"Hey dorogoy," you looked at her inquisitively, and she offered you one of the warmest smiles you'd ever seen, "Can you do me a favor?"

"Of course, whatever you need Wands," she beamed, "I'm glad to hear you say that, can you get two plates for us? I'll take a maple bar, and you can pick that sprinkled one back up while I make us a fruit salad and some hot cocoa."

Wanda watched closely, there was a hesitation in your demeanor, as if you were now scared. You however nodded meekly, then began to shuffle around the space to do as she asked.

"Ooh, did I see donut holes too?"

"Yup," you confirmed, and then you watched from your place at the counter as six tiny balls of dough and sugar danced through the air until they landed evenly between your plates.

The two of you spoke about your weekly movie night tonight while picking at the food before you, you smiled when the witch said you got to pick, you settled on Hocus Pocus, and Wanda smiled when she saw your plate was empty.

Then Wanda watched your face fall as she described in detail how she'd prepared a couple of snack trays for the both of your girlfriends with the ravenous appetites. This was a normal conversation, but now that Steve threw you into this self deprecating headspace she could see you debating if you wanted to go anymore.

The pressure to eat another meal today was already crippling your soul, it felt wrong to even consider nourishing yourself after the way Steve haphazardly regarded your body. Seeing how fit he was didn't help either, it only made you feel like you truly didn't deserve to eat.

"Well, I have some errands to run Wands, but I'll see you tonight," you collected both of your plates, and left her behind with a side hug as you departed, but your thoughts were so loud all the witch was left to do was frown as she made her way to the gym to try and fix this.

—

Natasha slammed Yelena into the mat for what was like the tenth time in an hour, "Cyka."

"Just admit that I'm better, and we'll be done."

"Never, I am just distracted," Yelena groaned, "Something in my gut is deeply unpleasant."

"Yeah, you simply can't stomach losing," Nat laughed as she once again dodged her sisters fist with grace, but then she was groaning when Yelena's fist hit her in the gut, she was too distracted by the sight of her fast approaching angered lover to have stopped the attack.

"Ha! I win!" Yelena screeched, only to be met with a shove that knocked her on her ass, and to wind up on the receiving end of Natasha's incredulous expression, "One hit isn't a win!"

"Listen here cyka," Yelena angrily muttered while stepping up to her sister, "Listening," Natasha smirked and Yelena reared back.

"Enough! Both of you!" Wanda caught Yelena's fist with red wisps, "Save your anger for Steve."

The sisters looked to her within an instant, both wearing different degrees of confusion.

"What did he do now?" Natasha groaned, she was growing really tired of his petty antics.

"He made Y/N self conscious, she's not okay."

Yelena's entire body tensed, Wanda could feel her fighting against her magic, and as if the God's heard her prayer Steve entered the gym.

"Let me go," she lowly growled, and Wanda did so without a single concern for the man, she was actually thrilled for what was to come.

Steve was unknowingly preparing for a beating coming down here, he'd come here to fight away the thoughts of inadequacy Wanda placed in his mind with the punching bag, but instead he was on his knees clutching his manly hood.

"What the actual fuck?" he seethed, but when he met the fiery gaze of one Yelena Belova he knew not to even test the waters any further.

"YA vypotroshu tebya, kak rybu," she rasped through gritted teeth, her hand fisted in the mans hair, as she punched him square in the nose, then as she went to further beat him she felt Natasha's hands on her shoulder's pulling her back, "Idi k yeye sestre, ty yey nuzhen, my s nim spravimsya." Yelena looked to her with a scowl, but after a moment of reassuring eye contact she conceded, "Zastav' yego zaplatit'."

(I will gut you like a fish / Go to her sister, she needs you, we'll handle him. / Make him pay)

"You know Rogers, Y/N only ever gave me the confidence to ask Wanda out, it was always going to be her, and never going to be you," she pulled Wanda in by her waist for a bruising kiss to ensure he understood her honest words.

He pouted like a petulant child, Yelena's firm hold was replaced with Wanda's impenetrable magic, so he was forced to watch them kissing.

Natasha lowered her body until she was level with the pitiful man, she patted his cheek twice patronizingly then she spoke only to ruin him, "Because sure Rogers, you might have the fawned over physique, but that's really only superficial, at the end of the day you're nothing worth experiencing," she beamed as his eyes filled shallowly with tears, "Y/N is a light in this dark world Steve, and for you to treat her like she's less than because you feel you lost me because of her is so strange. It's also not true."

"Everyone knows you have the personality of a brick wall, and it's just not that appealing. At least Sam and Bucky are interesting enough," Wanda taunted the scowling man, "There's a reason you could only ever score a date with the niece of your almost lover," she gripped him by his chin, and stared coldly into his eyes, "You're a pathetic excuse for a man Steve."

"That's all there is to it," Nat concluded, then with a precise swing of her fist he was out cold.

Wanda knelt beside him, and Natasha watched as red wisps jolted through his temple, "Sweet nightmares, I hope you wake up devastated."

"God, I love you so much," Natasha groans as she pulls her lover in for a deep kiss, "Y/N's family Nat, and nobody fucks with my family."

"That she is, I just hope Yelena can fix this," Natasha frowns slightly, and Wanda meets her concerned expression with an equivalent sigh, "If anyone can, it's her." Wanda softly grabs her lovers hand, "But we can also do our part."

—

Yelena raced through the entire compound in search of you, in her frazzled state she had neglected the obvious solution of just asking Friday, but after stumbling onto the vacant floor of the compound she knew she found you.

Soft sobs came from the room that used to be yours before you moved into Yelena's room. Back when you were Tony's assistant who he deemed worthy of a room, and not yet her everything, because that's exactly what you are.

"Y/N?" She called out softly as to not scare you, "Moye solnyshko," she whispered the words as she entered your old room, her heart stuttered when she saw the broken glass of your mirror, and it nearly shattered when she saw some of your things had been brought down here.

"Y/N, detka, what's going on?" She reached out for you, but you pulled your hands away, she frowned upon seeing the cuts that littered your skin and the air of despondency in your glossy orbs, it had made her imagine Steve's body dangling over a tub of carnivorous crocodiles.

It's now on her to do list...

"Lena, you should just go," you whispered brokenly, voice cracking as well as both of your hearts as you verbalized the words you didn't mean, "I'll never be what you deserve, so go."

"So that's just it? I don't get a say in this?"

"You're so beautiful Yelena, you deserve a partner that matches or excels you, which would honestly be impossible, you're perfect."

"You do excel me Y/N," she whimpers, and this time when she goes to reach you she does so by straddling your body, and making sure you can see just how true her words are. "I've never had anything to call my own Y/N, but now I have you, and I wouldn't trade that for anything."

"But what if there's someone better along the way Yelena? It's easier if we break this off now, I couldn't cope if you left me in the future."

"Never," she promised, her lips deposited a peck to your tear stained lips, "There is nothing better for me than you detka, I've never been happier," she smiled warmly as she stared into your cloudy eyes, hers just as glossy as yours, "That's all because of you. Moya solnyshko—my sunshine; oh how you brighten my life."

Yelena watched the storms behind your eyes begin to settle, your once tense body melted into the mattress, and she took the moment as the perfect time to kiss you, to pour out just how much you meant to her into the gesture.

"Look at me Y/N," she remained soft as she sat you up, and pulled you into her lap without a moment of hesitation, her tone however held a seriousness to it, "You deserve to feel safe in your body, to be able to love yourself despite any societal norms that are like ugly lies."

"I try to love me Lena, b-but when people that look like Steve say what they do I can't help but worry that I'm not meant for your love, maybe I'm holding you back, or you're settling here."

"First of all, you are meant for me only," she held you far more tightly, a possessiveness falling over her at the thought of you being with someone else. "You move me forward detka, my life has only looked up with you at my side. Life is a box of chocolates with you."

A sweet giggle left you as Yelena paraphrased last week's movie to make her point.

"I'm not settling Y/N, if anything it's you who's settling," you instantly shook your head with a pout, and she smiled at you sadly, "I've done a lot of things wrong in this short lifetime Y/N."

"You didn't have a choice Lena," you growled, and she chuckled lightly, "I know, but I finally do, and you're the only thing I've done right."

A brief moment of silence fell over you both, Yelena's grip on you was firm, and loving, her lips pressed to your forehead, and when you quietly sniffled she figured you needed more.

"Fuck that dipshit in spandex," she grinned when you giggled softly, and her looming fears melted away when you rested your head over her heart, "He'll never know what it's like to be loved truly, because he doesn't understand that people don't care for that manufactured body of his when it's paired with a heart of stone."

"You though. You're not only beautiful to look at," she leaned back, giving you the once over for emphasis, but she truly did get distracted as she took you in, with her lip caught in between her teeth and a smile in her eyes she couldn't fake, "You've also got a heart of gold detka."

It was easy to believe when she looked at you like that, but you still had your reservations, and Yelena could see right through to that.

"I love you, for every last part of you," she readjusted you so that she could cup your cheek while her other hand held your hip, "Whatever you see as a flaw, I see it as you, and therefore it's perfect, because there's nothing flawed about you, you're a beauty worthy of marveling at, you're the perfect they say does not exist; this body of yours is my paradise."

Tears began to stream down your face, and in the past Yelena would freak out, worried that she said something wrong to upset you, but she's come to learn that tears can be joyful. That much she learned when she burst into them the first time you said you loved her, the sweet words dripped from your lips like honey.

"I-I love you Yelena," you blurted in a graceless blubbering manner, "I-I'm sorry for trying to leave you, I was just scared, but I promise you that I don't ever want to lose you, like ever."

"You never will," she purrs, her hand gently gripped you by the plush skin of your hips, "Because I'll never give you up for anything," she murmured against your lips before she slammed hers into yours passionately.

Her lips began to travel down your jaw, your breath hitched when she sucked lightly over the skin. "Lena, we have to go to movie night," you stuttered breathlessly. She groaned, "Do we have to? We can skip it tonight, on account of me wanting to love you until you believe it."

"I do," you whispered, "I believe you," with a genuine tone you brought a smile to her face.

"Then let's go moya lyubov'," Yelena lifted you up into her arms causing you to squeal at her show of strength, "I can walk just fine baby."

"I just didn't want to let you go just yet," she confessed while gently lowering you, and in return for her being so sweet you softly kissed her lips, "We'll be cuddling soon enough."

The two of you rode the elevator to your floor so you could drop off your things, and change into more comfortable clothes, but not until Yelena doctored up your injured hands, with a soft kiss to follow every bandaid she placed.

"Your boo-boos have been handled," she said with a bit of a pout, "I'll be back shortly," and with a soft kiss to your lips that lingered for a moment longer than need be she was gone.

Yelena left to shower off her day in the gym, and you unpacked your things before slipping into a pair of black sweats, with a worn down band t-shirt, and as you always did when feeling somewhat down, you slipped right into your girlfriends oversized army green hoodie.

You knew she bought it for you, but she wore it until it smelled enough like her to calm you... It's become your live in article for her missions.

Yelena's always been so incredibly sweet, you honestly can't believe you tried to end things. Her love has always fixed your problems, she never saw you as anything other than worthy of love, and affection; she was your soulmate.

"Well don't you look cuddly," she noted as she walked up from behind and grabbed your hand, "Can't wait to hold you close, it's cold"

"Cold?" She met your confusion with a sly smirk, then pulled you along wordlessly.

Once she pressed the button for the roof you understood her, excitement overran your body at the idea of a spooky movie under the light of the moon and the surrounding stars. That is until the doors opened to reveal a battered Steve with an ice pack on his bruised cheek, making you tense up, causing Yelena to look away from you and over at the unwelcome.

Before anyone could even mutter a word you got to bare witness to the brick house of a man wordlessly hobbling away after your much smaller girlfriend stepped towards him, and the smug smile that overtook your lovers face was rather priceless, "Lena, baby, you can't solve everything with brutal violence."

"Why not?" She pouted, and it was so innocent in appearance you'd never believe she was a highly skilled assassin in her younger days.

"Words can work too..."

"Yeah, he used words, we used our fists."

"We?"

"Yes, I broke his nose, and hopefully made him unable to reproduce. Wanda and Natasha did the rest to him, remind me to thank them."

"Goodness me, you three keep me on my toes."

Yelena grinned, then kissed you for the rest of the elevator ride. The ding signaled her to stop, and she stepped aside to let you exit first.

"Ta-da," Natasha cheered with jazz hands to draw your attention to the identical hanging day beds settled besides one another, with a table between with popcorn and candy atop.

Then you looked up to see the projector screen was adorned in purple and orange lights with smiling pumpkins after every few bulbs, the beds were littered with fluffy blankets, and there were outdoor heaters nearby for the anticipated maximum comfort level possible.

"I did nothing to help, but I promise I love you, witchy was just too nit-picky, I was safer on the sidelines," she said quietly while pulling you into her for a tight embrace, "I love you too."

"You'll be safer on the couch too if you keep it up," Wanda lightly threatened before taking you from her genuinely terrified lover, "I've prepped lots of food, make a plate honey."

"Where will she pick from if this weird plate is mine?" Yelena asked while holding an entire charcuterie board to her chest, her face never more genuinely serious than right now, and you stifled a laugh at the adorable sight, "Don't worry baby, feel free to enjoy your dinner."

Wanda looked to you scoldingly, worried you were using this as a get out of dinner card, but then you lifted your phone up to show her that it was okay, and you were fine. While Natasha and Yelena scavenged around with snacks, you and Wanda will share a pizza—like normal.

"What will you eat?" Yelena frowned, but you waved her off, "There's popcorn and candy."

Yelena held her plate out anyways, and you smiled while picking off a single cracker and a slice of cheese to top it off., "Thanks love."

"I will not be doing that," Natasha shared with her girlfriend who settled onto the bed beside her with an eye roll, "Oh, I was well aware."

—

When the expected ding of the elevator interrupted the undergoing movie night you smirked over at the witch who had left their outside daybed to collect the pizza, and with a soft kiss to your girlfriends parted lips, and with a careful transferring of a pillow in your place you joined Wanda on the porch swing.

"Every time," you remarked playfully, "Without fail," Wanda added while waving her pizza around for emphasis, "They're total chumps."

"But we love them anyways," you softly added, and Wanda snuggled into your side with a warm smile, "That we do," she whispered, then she hugged onto your arm tight, silently letting you know that she loved you too, and in turn you laid your head over hers on your shoulder as the both of you continued to watch the film.

"I'm sorry Emily; I had to wait 300 years for a virgin to light a candle."

"It was probably Steve..." Wanda nudged your side, and you cackled softly, "Knock it off."

——

[ot3]

I mean this in entirely good faith, I promise, but I'd love to hear the "shortcomings" you think those shows have

she ra i mostly just found boring i don't think i could point to a single thing it did (out of what i watched, that is. i didn't finish the show) that i found to be an objectionable writing choice, but it just didn't do anything to keep my interest. which is a shame because i went into it REALLY excited!!! i had long been a fan of nimona so hearing that ND stevenson was getting the chance to make a cartoon i was SO prepared to be all over it. and i watched it and it all just fell pretty flat for me

steven universe and the owl house i feel like are shows with some pretty major structural issues. i really think they try to have their cake and eat it in terms of episodic moments vs overarching series narratives that are kind of at odds with each other.

with steven universe i feel like this manifested in some pretty bizarre tonal whiplash that prevented either of the shows angles from sticking its landing. i think if steven universe had either been an epic space opera about a kid inheriting his mother's war, it would have fucking banged. i think if steven universe had been a more slice-of-life oriented show about a boy coming of age by realizing he's sort of the living manifestation of the war trauma of the people around him and learning to navigate and help people heal from that through fantastical, alien super-powered twists on mundane life that would have banged in a completely different way. but as it stands i think trying to do both at the same time detracted from the overall experience.

it feels weird to have them fucking around at the barn when there is something that is going to literally hatch from the earth's crust like an egg and destroy the entire planet and theyre just ignoring it. it feels weird in a different way to have them visit an alien zoo full of human beings and know that the structure of the show means we will absolutely not be taking the time to fully unpack that one. for me this cognitive dissonance really reached its peak an episode where steven explicitly calls his mother a war criminal, but that was a throwaway line because the A plot was that lars, the guy who works at the donut shop, bakes as a hobby and is embarrassed by that. to be perfectly clear i don't think it's impossible to balance more mundane slice of life moments with big adventures to combat existential threats. but whatever that balance looks like is not what steven universe was doing

the owl house on the other hand i don't feel like was ever really willing to commit to a particular vibe long enough to get invested in it. it's trying to be a show about a girl who is a witch's apprentice, but that doesn't really feel quite fully realized because it's also trying to be a show about a Magic School, but we don't spend enough time at the Magic School to get invested in that setting as a framework for the character interactions and narrative events, but then it also starts trying to be this big adventure/questing show. and then before too long luz is the one teaching magic to everyone else? it refuses to really commit to any one thing it's trying and just kind of throws everything at you with out actually getting to spend time with its concepts

in general i also think luz was a weak protagonist. in terms of writing. i think she wasnt given enough meaningful flaws, didn't make enough mistakes, and didn't really have to learn any hard lessons or make decisions that fundamentally went against who she thought she was. her whole thing is basically being Nerdy and Kinda Weird which i think is kind of an outdated substitute for meaningful character writing in the current zeitgeist. im sure she is an absolutely fantastic power fantasy for a lot of 12 year old girls who consider reading books to be their main personality trait and i absolutely do not fault that for existing. i think that's a critical thing to exist and all those 12 year olds really deserve it. but it has no appeal to me as an adult woman who has grown out of that phase, yknow?

i feel like once again the comparison to akko from little witch academia invites itself very easily, and anne from amphibia too, which was also a disney teen girl isekai airing at the same time. i loved both of those two as protags a ton and i think its because they really fumbled repeatedly and went through the wringer in a way luz didn't

[rubykgrant]

Everybody knows I am a Grimmons Person... but for the fun of rare-pairs, here are some thoughts I have for other characters being in this Orange/Maroon Peanutbutter/Jelly sandwich~ (a silly way of saying, hey- here are some relationships that are Grif/Simmons/other characters)

(I have thoughts for several, but right here are Locus, Wash, and Donut, I'll add more later~)

Locus; Grif is just super chill hanging out with him, doesn't take NO for an answer when Locus tries to disappear into the shadows, but also? Locus actually LIKES Grif's company, which is very rare, so he doesn't have it in him to actually avoid Grif/reject him. HOWEVER... Simmons is very jealous and petty. He's also very intimidated by the big scary former mercenary... sometimes the jealousy overrides the intimidation, and Simmons will get IN BETWEEN THEM, saying some passive-aggressive nonsense about how Locus will NEVER understand all their inside jokes, etc. Then Simmons notices... Locus is so very AWKWARD. He like- doesn't try to bully Simmons back? What??? OK, now Simmons feels bad. He resents Locus for making him feel bad, so he tries extra hard to include Locus in things they've both done before (because that'll teach him a lesson?). Locus just accepts all the attention as he does with Grif. They tell him one day that he's been looking better lately, gained some weight back, and can finally relax, and Locus casually gives them honest compliments back, and it is like they JUST realized he's handsome (they get all twitterpated for a minute). Neither Grif nor Simmons is sure how to like... discuss the idea of three-way-dating? Not exactly something they planned on. They eventually bring it up to Locus, and HE gets all flustered, and accepts. It's hard to figure out which one is more surprised by the results (Grif, who has his adorably weird nerd AND somebody who defines the strong silent type? Simmons, who has TWO big beautiful men? Locus, who has genuine affection and intimacy that DOESN'T have life-threatening undertones? yeah, the bar is kinda low for Locus in terms of relationships, but Grif and Simmons are a VAST improvement)

Wash; He has to be the one that initiates. Not because they wouldn't be interested, they just don't expect HIM to be interested. Wash is also not super great at this. He tries to kinda introduce the idea of being kinda "flirty" with each of them solo. In his head, this is supposed to be "sweet", like- I care about you both as individuals, but I'd love us all to be TOGETHER. For Grif and Simmons, they now think Wash is? A HOME-WRECKER??? Which sounds stupid and weird, maybe Wash is just trying to joke around in a weirdly intimate way. So they kinda play along, and he thinks it is working, but then they finally ask if this is a prank or whatever, and now he's MORTIFIED. Wash avoids them for a week, and when they talk to him again, he explains, and they assure him this is FINE, in retrospect it was just funny haha, then invite him out for a movie to show everything is cool. Grif and Simmons come to an agreement after the movie... and start individually flirting with Wash. He thinks they're just teasing him for being a dork. They have to actually call another trip to the movies their "second date" before he GETS IT. Everybody else just sees them teasing each other a LOT more often, but laughing about it, being all cute. Wash even starts picking up some of their habits (naps with Grif, watching deep-dive/documentaries with Simmons). Wash asks all politely if it will alright to kiss them, and it isn't FAIR for Wash to be cute like that and also be such a nag (Grif now has 2 people ganging up on him to do laundry/the dishes, Simmons has 2 people reminding him to sleep, and Wash has 2 people who make sure he actually eats properly)

Donut; He always wiggle-worms his way into their space. He acts like he didn't realize they were trying to be all lovey-dovey, but they know he knows. He must be lonely for their company, maybe he feels extra left-out with them being a couple. He manages to NOT be totally annoying when they're doing whatever, so they decide let him spend more time with them. This just encourages Donut to hang out with them MORE, and he always seems to be bribing them for more attention, making Grif treats or telling Simmons about a new bookstore with something he's interested in... the only they do alone, is when they go to bed. One night, Grif and Simmons talk about how clingy Donut has been, they way he's acting around them, and even when they aren't with him, he looks at them all wistfully. Grif jokes Donut is acting like he's got a CRUSH or something, and they have to go OHHHHHH. Which one of them? BOTH of them??? What are their options here? Let Donut down, try to be nice about it, still hang out but as friends, or... there is an OR? Really? Really. Donut isn't really so obnoxious. Even when he is, they can tell he's doing it on purpose, and these two LOVE bothering each other, that is their whole thing. They can appreciate that he knows them both very well, and yeah- they know him, he's been part of their lives for a long time, and they both know how it feels to pine after somebody when it seems like a lost cause... so, they keep letting Donut hang out with them. He doesn't know they know. Until, one night, after staying up to watch a horror marathon, Donut sighs as he gets ready to leave the room, but Grif and Simmons scoot over on their bed and hold the covers open for him. He joins them, literally just for sleeping, but then Donut starts actually CRYING, he feels like they're just being nice and he's being disingenuous (oh, the pain of unrequited love), and they have to tell him to KNOCK OFF THE DRAMA, he likes them, they like him, they GET IT, Simmons has to hug Donut and roll over while holding so he's in the middle, where he actually gets double-cheek-kisses in the dark. Now he wants to giggle about it, and they tell him to SHUT UP. He tells them they're a-holes. All three happily argue for an hour before settling down enough to sleep

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I've been thinking about how Vash always seems to be hungry. Or at least, that he's shown eating quite often in the manga. Happily having his salmon sandwiches. Eating an entire box of donuts in the side car. Knowing the conversion rate of bullets to pizza. Seeing a flower and immediately wondering if it's edible. Pondering his life over breakfast. It's a really cute little character detail about him - he likes food.

But then I kind of started to think about the angel arm and its specific brand of destruction. How there were no bodies to be recovered. Nothing but a crater left of July, left on the Fifth Moon. It's all been incinerated. Devoured, even. Tristamp takes it even a step further and makes the power something akin to a black hole - a yawning drain; a constant destructive hunger.

Vash is clearly terrified of this potential for destruction, and for very good reason. But it's not separate from him as some kind of "power he can't control" - it's his arm. It's literally his arm. It is him. Vash is scared of himself, scared of losing control. He does what he can to repress it, even subconsciously (the gaps in his memory whenever it activates). He can't control it in the moment, so he takes steps to preemptively push it down, to avoid the use of his abilities entirely, to hide himself away.

I talked a bit in a previous post about how there are probably several interrelated reasons for Vash's chronically avoidant behaviour, but I'd like to throw one more into the ring and suggest that it's not just a matter of not deserving to want things, but maybe also that he's afraid of wanting. That if he allows himself to even think about what he wants personally that he'll want too much, take too much, and that the only cure in his mind for this is to give and give repeatedly.

I wonder how starved he is for love. Vash loves hard, after all. Once he loves (and I’m not talking about the broad, distant love/compassion he has in general), for better or worse, he carries them around with him forever, long after they've passed. Does he feel like it'd be selfish to admit this kind of want? His love isn't really a passive thing after all - it's the drive at his very core; a mournful inferno he is just barely suppressing. Does he remember how to love in a way that doesn't consume him entirely?

Is that part of the reason he checks out at signs of intimacy? Diverts gifts towards others? Tends to accept kind gestures only when under an assumed name? Intentionally starves himself in Tristamp? Runs and runs and runs? Is he afraid he won't be able to stop hungering? That allowing himself to want means his want will become insatiable?

I just have to wonder how much of his avoidance of connection is being scared that he will cause more destruction (to them? or to him?) by trying to take far too much into his hands than he ever caused by turning his back and running.

...of course I may just be entirely deranged here sorry.

[silverdragon889]

The brainworms got me again, and with help from @stellar-collective , I give to you!

A Crane and a Phoenix: Short Change Hero

It had been after Eaves Drop when Reginald Crane asked the question

Usually, he was content to worry silently and stoically about some of the stranger habits his Agent had; being drawn to fire, the absurd collection of Greek history books, the odd obsession with the color blue, and the ability to sleep just about anywhere to name a few. However, Agent Phoenix had one habit that always rubbed Reginald the wrong way;

The Agent always ate food like a man who was afraid of losing it, no matter the food's quality.

The Agent's file stated he had no living blood relatives. THAT much he knew. He also knew that the E.O.D. had found him in a warehouse, snooping around nearly silent. It was that stealth that landed him the job as field agent, but beyond those two facts?

Reginald knew nothing about his agent.

So it was during lunch on call with the Agent that the curiosity finally got to him. Phoenix was currently scarfing down a toasted sandwich and three donuts like the food was about to grow legs and bolt.

"You know you can slow down when you eat, Agent, right?"

Phoenix, for his part, finished his meal. And yet...

"Sorry, 'Phones. Just habit, is all."

It was meant to be a joke...

"What, did your parents starve you? I'll write a strongly worded letter if so!"

"What parents, 'Phones? I lived on the streets!"

That one sentence shattered his whole worldview all at once, and for the life of him, he couldn't place why. Orphans weren't uncommon in this line of work. It was more of a given, really, considering that it probably saved on paperwork. So why? Surely the Agent had someone to care for him! And yet, he thinks about the temporary lodging in the Agency that Phoenix has made into a home. He thinks about how Phoenix HATES wintertime. Hell, when he first joined the Agency, Reginald had to explain what Christmas was!

It had hurt then, too.

...he thinks about Phoenix being fine with eating rotten food.

He pushed it aside for later. Phoenix needed reminding not to choke, after all!

"While it certainly explains your iron stomach, do remember not to choke Agent. It wouldn't do to have our top Agent suffocate!"

He paused, before speaking just that little bit softer.

"You... do realize you don't have to inhale your meals anymore, yes? Why, I'd happily make you a sandwich anytime! I even remember just how you like them! You like-"

As he rambled on and on, he glances at the camera. He smiles, because he knows he saw Phoenix smile. For now, that was enough for him.