#i'd definitely feel a lot better if she was at least mentioned once

[thefirstknife]

True, but only because they were given more characterisation. Suraya really hasn't been touched since vanilla, while everyone else was given plenty of time to shine and multiple seasons worth of content. Both Devrim and Suraya would've been up there if they got the same attention.

But on that note, Suraya and Zavala have plenty of material together. She already participated in a massive invasion of Earth before and was an instrumental element of our victory. She fought side by side with Guardians in the field and has experience in the matter. Zavala literally called her a Guardian, and reinforced it in Guardian Games when she participated alongside Zavala. As in, they literally did activities together.

"Thought it was 'only for Guardians.'"

"Semantics," Zavala said. He stood over a map laid out on a wooden table. "And that was before you pushed us into the lead for Lost Sector clearance." He pointed at a place on the map. "What do you think? Our next point of attack."

She also decided to participate for Titans:

"Right." Hawthorne grinned. "You know, maybe 'we' Titans have this thing in the bag."

"Oh, we do," Zavala said, studying the map. "We most certainly do."

She led the Vanguard into the City for the final assault and made plans with them directly. She was involved with saving people and escorting and protecting refugees during the Red War.

She was compared to Guardians multiple times by different people:

The one with Zavala was while she was fighting with him side by side in the middle of a sieged city and after she saved his life. Like, he was about to be crushed by a Legionary and she blew the enemy's head off.

This woman would not immediately jump into action to protect the City and Earth from an invasion? :

No shot. If anything, the story with Amanda in Defiance is a rehash of Suraya's story from the Red War. Imo, it would've been more fitting to expand on Suraya instead of repeat basically the same thing but with a different character.

Also important to note that Suraya is Devrim and Marc's adopted daughter. Eva's assessment which pretty much entirely fits within this season's story and embodies the word "defiance":

Suraya Hawthorne is, in my mind, the definition of doing what you think is right regardless of the consequences. She knew it was right to help struggling families, she knew it was right to not put Devrim and Marc in harm's way, and she knew it was right to give them some peace of mind by staying close. That is the kind of true courage I have always admired.

She is mentioned as being frequently in contact with her dads so neither of them mentioning her during an invasion on their home is out of character. Her relationship with Zavala and Devrim could've been expanded to be equally interesting, since she already has strong ties to both of them. Her story could've fit perfectly in a season about the Earth being invaded by Shadow Legion, given her expertise the last time Earth was invaded by effectively the same force.

But if there were some technical constraints or some other reasons like availability of her VA/willingness to recast her (which is understandable!), I think she at the very least deserved to be mentioned a single time in a lore tab or a voice line or a bounty text. Her existence was literally not acknowledged at all. Devrim did not make a single comment or expressed worry or questioned how she's doing experiencing the same thing that happened 5 years ago.

The only thing Amanda has over Suraya is her ties to Crow, which I believe is the crux of the issue in a lot of different ways and which is a whole other conversation. But even with Crow, Suraya could've filled basically the same slot for him and perhaps even better. They just had a throwback to how Uldren used to be a spotter for a sniper in a tab about Crow and Devrim; who else is a sniper? Suraya. They could've added more of that with for example the fact that Suraya has a bird and Uldren used to keep birds. And Crow is also obviously tied to birds. Suraya could've been an equally good mortal human friend to Crow as Amanda.

The point is that the potential for more depth in these other relationships also exists, if one were to choose to write about them and expand on them. But they were not chosen, which is not a huge problem on its own; as I said, Suraya's story is over and we're not in dire need of any new answers about her. But the same can be said for Amanda. Expanding on Amanda was a choice they made. That choice could've been made for Suraya as well.

I don't find this a huge problem overall, but it's definitely something that's on my mind as very odd. Again, the potential is there and the ties and relationships are there as well. And I'm most certainly confused about zero mentions of Suraya in a season where her dad features prominently for the first time in 5 years. This just doesn't track for me at all and I actively consider it a minor blunder. The rest is simply me thinking about a possible different way this season could've played out without compromising the rest of the characters involved or the rest of the plot. Genuinely nothing much would have to be changed to swap the two characters. Purely speculative look into another option for this season and what could've been told differently!

I think they're quietly writing Hawthorne out of the game with how the past few years, the community treated her as the "Clan meme dialogue vendor" :(

Honestly, yeah, feels like she will remain just a vendor.

To be fair, Suraya's story is over for all intents and purposes, but on the other hand so was Amanda's. None of these characters HAVE to return and do things actively in the game anymore, but they CAN. We're not exactly losing any important plot threads if she's not in the game, but it's also a shame because she could be used as a side character the same way Amanda was!

Especially in Defiance. I honestly think that Suraya would've been a better choice rather than Amanda. Devrim is there so she can work alongside her dad! Marc is frequently mentions so there's a family story and they're all mortal humans so there's the whole danger they tried to convey with Amanda. Suraya is also much more closely connected to running heroic operations in the EDZ in the middle of a war; it's what she's famous for. Suraya going off in the field makes more sense than Amanda, the pilot, doing so.

And ultimately, while I don't want Suraya to die, Suraya dying and being hinted at becoming a Guardian makes more sense. Suraya was shown multiple times as being close to Guardian values. Zavala called her a Guardian in the Red War! And she asked to participate actively in Guardian Games, which Zavala allowed! Now that the season is over, obviously we didn't get Amanda to become a Guardian... for now. But the possibility exists for that to happen at some point, if they want to do it. It would, again, make more sense with Suraya. Especially if they're so desperate to remove her. The only issue is her status as a vendor.

There could be a lot of reasons to go with Amanda rather than bring back Suraya, a lot of which are about resources and technical problems so I understand. But I definitely don't understand not giving Suraya a nod in the lore this season. Truly odd.

[changisworld]

“Are you being serious?”

Fuckboy!hyunjin x reader

Word count;8,001

Summary: You & Hyunjin are finally moving into a positive direction, finals are now here though so you are both trying to focus on that, meaning you both can’t spend so much time with each other unless you both want to go insane. You tell your lecturer how well your assignments are going & he gets the bright idea to let you tutor someone in your class who is struggling a lot & is in desperate need of help… that being Hyunjins friend, Han Jisung.

18+, MDNI, SMUT WARNINGS UNDER THE CUT.

main masterlist here

part 1 here & part 2 here

ALL WARNINGS: Jealous Hyunjin, Jealous reader, Possessive Hyunjin, voyeurism??, recording, spit, creampie, fingering, oral(m rec), body worship, PIV, unprotected sex, marking, begging, dirty talk, praise, angst & fluff, crying after sex, brief aftercare (more happens off screen), soft hyunjin

-> reader is described as Hyunjins girlfriend & 'she/her' pronouns are used a few times but its brief<3

->This isn’t proofread so if there’s any errors i apologise mwah x

In the month running up to finals, you have been absolutely drowned in assessments & of course you need to pass, so for that reason, you n Hyunjin haven't spent as much time together. You do both study together every once in a while but you work a lot better on your own & he respects that, leaving you to it as he studies in his own free time.

You have both been doing well in the sense your feelings have grown for one another but college is still the same, Hyunjin still being the bubbly person, sitting with his large group of friends while you sit further at the back, but to give him credit he does openly choose to work with you for random partner tasks (which half of the girls in the same course a you now resent you for) & he brings you a drink at least once a day.

You've just submitted one of your last essays (which you're proud of of course) & now you can relax a whole lot more than you were before... until your lecturer asks you if you would like an extra few credits.

You of course say yes, knowing it will definitely help if for some reason you get marks taken off for your other grades, not thinking it would be too hard to complete, that is until he tell you what you need to do.

"Jisung has been really struggling y/n, you can really help him & I know you can since you've never had below a ninety. Don't feel pressured please, but I'm sure he would really appreciate it." He says to you, giving you a pleading look.

You sigh before just nodding your head, not wanting to let your professor down, but also don't want someone in your class to fail simply because you couldn't be bothered to help him.

You know he's really good friends with Hyunjin, him mentioning a few times & they have always sat beside one another, loving to piss off everyone around them. You know he doesn't take anything too seriously but you would feel more guilty if you didn't at least try.

"Thank you y/n. I'll be sure to tell him when I next speak to him one on one. I'll see you tomorrow & I'll have him come talk to you, if he gives you a hard time though by being an idiot, don't be afraid to stop helping him, you're not being forced." He says to you in a cheery voice as he fixes his papers, messy all over his desk. You say your goodnights to each other & you leave the building, making the short journey home.

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You get home & of course Hyunjin is already waiting for you, Tuesdays being the one day a week you promises you would spend time together, regardless of the busy schedules.

"Took you long enough, thought you had fell asleep in the damn hall. What was it he was talking to you about? I'd rather swallow a whole potato in one go than waste my time talking to that guy outside of hours, that guy hates me." Hyunjin questions, not looking up at you for more than a second as he stirs the pasta he is cooking for the both of you.

" He hates you because you made that mans hair go grey with the stress you've causes him n trust me, I almost did, we were talking about how I'm preparing for finals, he also asked me to help one of your friends with a whole lot of it." you sigh as you kick your shoes off & putting your bag on the coat peg hung up on the wall, on the tiny bit of free space that Hyunjins multiple jackets & hoodies now clogging up.

"Really? wait taste this, n who is it? Half my friends are dumbasses so you've got your work cut out, good luck to ya." Hyunjin jokes as he holds up the wooden spoon to your lips, his other hand underneath the spoon to catch any droplets.

You taste it n let out a hum of approval which makes him smile before turning around to continue stirring a few more times before going into your cupboard to grab two plates. "Your friend Jisung! I'm surprised he asked me out of all people, I've only had one actual conversation with him n that was during freshers, I only remember because he was wearing those glasses of his & kept bursting out into song randomly." you chuckle as you recall the memory, getting you both a glass before going into your fridge to grab the bottle of prosecco you bought yesterday just for this occasion.

Hyunjin stops his movement for a second before replying with a 'mhmm' & you don't think too much of it, grating some cheese before putting it on the coffee table in your living room rambling about random stuff, but his mind doesn't move. "So about Jisung, did you say yeah to helping him?" he asks, setting both of your plates down on the small table before grabbing two cushions off your couch n placing them on the floor, patting it for you to sit down next to him.

"Yeah, I agreed because I've only got a few more things to do n I'll be finished, I'd feel guilty for saying no, I can't let him just fail the entire course because I couldn't be bothered you know? If what you're worried about is that I won't have time for you, you're wrong, I'll still be seeing you on Tuesdays regardless." You reply in an your usual tone, giving Hyunjin a peck on the cheek as you thank him for the pasta before picking up your fork & taking a bite.

"Jisung.. Isn't someone you wanna try teach, It's a waste of your time, you should probably pass on the offer. You should help me! I'm sooo stuck on the power point." he responds, his voice monotone, trying to hide how pissed he actually is.

"Hyune, we both know you're not struggling, you only have like two more things to do so stop being silly, n besides, I get a few extra credits if I do it so it will be worth it." you say after swallowing a bite, looking at him & that's when you realise his body language, completely giving away the fact he is now in a sulk as he purses his lips at what you say, not verbally replying to you.

"Hyunjin, what's up with you, hmm? You were so happy when I got home, is something bothering you?" you ask him, putting your fork down. "It's just.. Jisung is just gonna try get in your pants y/n. I know what he's like, if he actually gave a fuck about this grade, he woulda tried way before now, he has a music career now so he doesn't even need college." he says, pointing his fork at you & swaying it around as he speaks, his voice serious despite him trying to sound unbothered.

You just look at Hyunjin, honestly confused on where this attitude has came from. "Just because he might have another career once he leaves, doesn't mean he doesn't wanna pass, Hyune. He won't 'get in my pants' I don't even know him or anything about him apart from what you've told me." a tinge of annoyance in your voice now, not at all liking what he has to say.

"Alright." he mumbles as he begins eating, not wanting to discuss it further so you ignore it, moving onto a different conversation, which makes his mood slightly better than it was before.

Hyunjin leaves an hour or so later, after helping you wash up & cuddling with you until you were dozing off. You give him a sheet of notes you had written earlier in that day just for him to help him with his own essays, changing the wording a whole bunch so he wouldn't accidentally write something similar to you have done, which he can't help but blush at the thoughtfulness. He leaves your apartment in the same mood when you first came home earlier on.

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You're walking to your morning class after grabbing a drink from the cafeteria when you hear someone calling your name from behind you over the music of your headphones, you turn around to see Jisung being the reason your name is being said, his dorky little smile looking back at you as he walks up to you.

"Hi y/n, in case you didn't know but I'm Jisung n I just wanna say thank you for helping me with all of this, means loads to me." he says, giving you an awkward chuckle as his hand rubs against the nape of his neck.

"Don't worry about it, just don't make it a waste of my time, I still need to do loads of my own stuff so I won't be waiting around for you." responding in a cold tone as you put your headphones on again before walking to your class.

You take your own unofficial seat & just go on your phone, not paying much attention to the things going on around you, blocking out the multiple conversations going on around you.

You look down to the right corner of the auditorium & notice Hyunjin isn't sitting in his own usual spot.

You; Where r u? u okay? Hyune<3: yea, just slept in lol, just take pics of what u write n i can use that, ill probs be in after break

You begin texting a response when the chair next to you is pulled out & someone sits beside you, you look to your left & Han is smiling at you, pulling his books out of his bag & placing them on the desk.

"Sir told me to come n sit beside you since he is helping yuna right now n he doesn't have time to re-explain it all to me. You still okay to help me, right?" He blurts out, looking at you with his boba eyes, you just nod your head & he smiles.

Jisung begins to show you where he's at on each part of the assessments he needs to do & shows you the very few notes he has actually been bothered to write down.

"You've only wrote this..? for an entire years worth of work this is all you have to help you?" yo snort as you hand back his notepad, your eyebrows raised. "I thought it wouldn't be this intense!" he responds, his voice whiney.

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You spend the next hour roughly explaining how to do the main parts of everything & you were writing down a few things for him since you realise he is a painfully slow writer, but you choose to hold your tongue since you think he is actually listening since he is actually asking you a question ever so often.

The time hits quarter past eleven so you grab your little blue money purse before standing up to leave for your break when Jisung moves his chair out so you can't leave. "Y/n, could I get your number or something? so I can text you.. about the work! of course." Han asks you as he stands up to face you fully.

"Awk yeah that would make sense, alright." you take one of your pens off the desk & open the cap before grabbing Jisungs hand before you write your number on it & then squeezing yourself past him, walking up the rest of the stairs to leave but he runs up to you again to begin walking with..well, behind you, ignoring his friends at the other end of the room shouting his name.

"Thanking you y/nnie, I can call you y/nnie right? anyways what's your plans for after college hours? Do you have a job you gotta get to? Any sorta clubs? I get the vibe you definitely are a part of... an art class. I woulda said book club but I feel as if that's too basi-" "You talk so much, holy shit. My plan is to finish what I need to finish tonight or tomorrow so I'll have time to actually help you" you cut off, rolling your eyes as you begin walking one of the common area benches, Jisung still trailing behind you.

You sit down & Jisung settles himself beside you, smiling at his friends whenever they walk past, talking your ear off as you just stare at him, not paying attention.

A minute later, You turn away from Jisung & lean your head against the wall in annoyance , Jisung now talking about how he lived in Malesia & almost got eaten by an alligator when your eyes scan the area & that's when you notice Hyunjin strolling towards you. You lean back upright & smile n wave at him & he smiles back, until Han pops his head out from behind you to see who you're waving at, your body no longer covering him from the way you're both sitting.

Hyunjin reaches you but doesn't sit down, instead standing in front of both of you. "Heya y/n, hi jisung, what you both talking about." Hyunjin says in a weird tone of voice, sounding slightly off standish. "Couldn't tell ya, sir didn't really go over anything new so I didn't write anything down to give you, he was just answering others questions, come sit." you say as you pat the spot beside you but he doesn't budge, feet staying glued to the floor, hi eyes moving to now look at the man sitting beside you.

"So if he was answering questions all day, why'd you not just ask him for help on what to do? Why are you putting more on y/ns plate?" Hyunjin spits to jisung, his facial expressions scarily neutral. "Because he would spend an entire day explaining it to me! I asked y/n a million times if it's fine n it's fine! y/n doesn't mind it." Han whines back, throwing his hands around & that's when Hyunjin notices your number drawn onto his hand.

Hyunjin looks at it then back at the both of you before scoffing. "Point is, you don't give a fuck about passing, I'm not stupid. I'll see you later." he speaks in the same cold tone, tapping your head condescendingly before walking away & down the hall out of sight.

"What the hell is his problem, he has such an attitude." you murur, mostly to yourself but Jisung responds anyway. "dunno, maybe stress." feigning innocence.

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Hyunjin walks into class, blood boiling. He sits on the opposite side than he usually does & puts his headphones on, basically throwing the items in his bag onto his desk before logging into his computer & pulling up his word document.

He doesn't look up at any of the noise around him, other students for some reason spending their break in the same room they've been sitting in for four hours now until someone taps his head before pulling his headphones off his head.

"Nice song, what's it called?" Lisa chimes as Hyunjin turns around, relaxing when he sees it's just her & not a random person trying to piss him off. "You're still on your essay? y/n handed hers in already, didn't your little girlfriend feel like helping you out?" she remarks, sitting on the edge of the desk, swinging her legs while she looks down at him.

"y/n.. isn't my 'girlfriend' so to speak n anyways, we both agreed to do it on our own since y/n concentrates better that way n i've learned that so do I, so if you could leave Lisa i'd like that." he responds, his tone sounding more rude than he intended.

"Who pissed in your cereal Hyunjin, jeez. That sucks, I'd love for you to help me, I'm further behind than I wanted to be, can I borrow your notes at least? & you sure y/n works better on her own? She was helping Jisungie a wholeeee bunch earlier." she speaks back, sweet toned, the smile not wiping off her face for even a second, picking up his notepad & flicking through it.

"Mhmm, just take it n give it back at the end of the day. I told y/n helping Jisung is a waste of time but sir n Jisung both wormed their way into her brain knowing she would feel too guilty for saying no, she didn't listen to me, she's too kind." he replies, not bothering to look up at Lisa despite feeling her eyes almost burning two holes into his side profile.

"Clearly not too kind if she can't listening to her own boyfriendddd" she teases, ruffling up his hair. "I told you, we aren't officially together, you taking my notes or no? I have stuff to do Lisa." he snarks as he finally actually looks up at her as she jumps off the desk, jotter in hand.

"I know, just wanted to hear you confirm the fact. I would ask you to send me the notes but you've blocked my number, y/n has you so bitched, didn't think I'd see the day." Hyunjin just rolls his eyes as Lisa says this but he sees you & Jisung walking back into the room, six or seven levels above & he gets an idea.

He rolls his chai out, blocking Lisas path as he looks up at her, a puzzled look on her face. "If you say please, I'll think about unblocking youuu." he taunts, his pretty smile showing on his face. Lisa looks up at you in your usual seat, noticing your quick glances down back at them, trying to not make it too obvious before looking back down at Hyunjin. "Pretty please, Jinnie?" she responds, battering her eyelashes as she ruffles his hair again.

He chuckles before moving out of the way, letting her past. As she leaves, he murmurs a 'next joke, fuck that' to himself, internally cringing at the conversation between them before pressing play on his spotify again & doing his work.

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The day finally ends & you are quick to get out of the room, not being surprised if steam was coming out of your ears with how pissed you are. You noticed Lisa & Hyunjin speaking & you were unable to concentrate from that moment on. 'Why was she touching him?' 'Why was he flirting with her?' 'what a fucking dick' keep bursting into your mind & you honestly want to punch them both in the face.

Hyunjin gets his notepad back from Lisa & walks away without saying much of anything to her, trying to catch up to someone in particular... Jisung.

He knows his schedule like the back of his hand & it doesn't take much walking or time to find him, sitting on a small ledge waiting for the main music room to be unlocked for him, Chris & Changbin, eating a packet of skittles, filling his chubby cheeks while just idly looking around.

"Heya Hyunjin, you alright?" He questions, pulling his legs closer to his chest so Hyunjin can sit down opposite him, which he does. "Been better, got a question for you though." he sighs, leaning forward to dig his hand into Jisungs packet & takes out a handful of skittles, dumping the green ones back into the packet.

"Go f'r it." he speaks, words muffled as he pours more into his mouth. "What you doing with y/n? I pretty much made it clear to stay away, so what is your problem? You coulda asked anyone to help you but I know you went to sir n specifically asked for y/n's help, you can't fool me I've known you too long." he questions, his voice sounding far too normal for it to be comfortable.

"You didn't tell me shit, n I'm not a toddler, what makes you think you can tell me what to do? You're not actually together together so why can't I simply speak to her?" he remarks, smirking at him knowing he is getting under his skin as he throws his empty food wrapper at the bin but missing, making him kiss his teeth.

Hyunjin scoffs at his words, in disbelief. "Han stop being a dick, y/n is mine n it's that simple so just fuck off, I've never told you to leave anyone fuck alone until now so just do it? It's not difficult believe it or not." Hyunjin snaps back, getting more annoyed as the clock ticks by, not bothering to keep his tone quiet as another student walks by every once in a while.

"Yea n we also agreed we wouldn't cockblock each other yet here you are, you guys aren't official which you said yourself so it's fair game. You can't claim someone if you're still flirting with your other little side pieces, me & y/n saw you n Lisa earlier. You seriously wanna get rid of everyone else you see for one person? Next joke." he replies, his voice raising at the end, honestly enjoying how pissed off Hyunjin is getting, his face getting more & more red.

"Lisa is literally nothing to me n yea-" Hyunjin is cut off as Changbin n Chan swivel around the corner, all smiles. "Heya Hyunjin, not seen you in ages, Jisung I got the key so we can go in now, you coming Hyun?" Chan questions as he turns his back to unlock the door.

"Nah, I'm busy n got things to do, I'll speak to you all later." Hyunjin replies, squishing Changbins cheeks playfully, trying to ease any tension the others are starting to sense, before walking off, his breathing intense as he leaves the building & pretty much speed walking home.

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He enters his complex building & storms up the multiple flights of stairs, skipping a step or two each time. He turns the corner & sees you sitting on his doormat, both of you making eye contact.

You stand up & wipe any dirt that could be on you as Hyunjin sighs, stopping in front of you as he moves one of his headphone speakers, not even bothering to fully pull them off.

"Are you gonna speak to me n tell me what's wrong with you Hyunjin?" You speak out, placing your hands on your hips. "Do you seriously not know what you've done? Give me a fucking break. Move, I want to get inside." he spits back before trying to worm his way around you but you stop him.

"Hyunjin what the fuck is your problem? I've done jack shit n yet you're treating me as if I'm an annoyance to you! I'm not leaving till I get an answer." you yell back, getting even more pissed at his attitude.

"I'm not even going to bother arguing with you, especially in my fucking hallway y/n, get inside." He spits out as he pushes your arm away & unlocks his door before entering, not bothering to shut it as he knows you're gonna end up following him.. which you do.

You shut his door behind you & chase behind him as he walks into his bedroom & throwing off his hoodie, not even acknowledging you as he does his usual routine.

"So you gonna explain or what? Also turn around when I speak to you, don't be so fucking rude Hyunjin." you utter, speaking to his back as he doesn't even bother looking at you.

"Got nothing to explain. You gonna tell me why you wrote your number on Jisungs arm when I specifically told you what he would be actually wanting from you & after telling you it would be a complete waste of time?" He scoffs, rolling his eyes as he turns around to look back at you, leaning on his desk.

You raise your eyebrows at him, not being able to hold back the shocked laugh at his words. "Are you being fucking serious? First of all Hyunjin, I'm not a kid that you can boss around n second of all, I only gave him my number so he can ask me about anything he needs & I'm basically finished everything I need to do for finals so I don't fucking care about helping your friend out a bit!" you yell back, your heart beginning to race.

"It's fucking obvious he was flirting with you y/n?! Are you really that naive to fucking see it? Sorry to be the one to tell you but it's true." he replies, swinging his arms around & pointing as he speaks.

"So fucking what if he was? It changes absolutely nothing since I'm not interested! But if you want to speak about flirting, you're a huge fucking hypocrite since you were basically drooling over Lisa earlier & you knew I was watching! Your attitude is disgusting & if you're acting like this when we aren't even official then what makes you think that is what I want? You're straight up immature." you shout, your voice going a bit raspy & your hands shaking.

"I did that because I was fucking hurt about what you were doing! & I know we aren't officially together but you haven't been acting as if you want to be with me! You don't even listen to me y/n when I know what the hell I'm talking about. I chosen you for me to actually try get into a relationship with but I'm thinking it's not worth it." he cries out, tears threatening to leave his eyes as he says this, shouting back at you.

"Are you trying to insinuate I'm 'lucky' to be in this position with you, get off your fucking high horse holy shit! I didn't flirt with Han at all but you can't say the same about you & Lisa, how am I supposed to trust you if you act like this over something so small? This isn't even fucking worth it Hyunjin, I'm not going to let you see me as if I'm beneath you." you respond, your voice going monotone at the end as you shake your head at him before turning around to leave, realising this conversation is getting nowhere.

Hyunjin is quick to step across his room & get between you & the bedroom door, blocking you from leaving. "When the hell did I say you're beneath me? Why can't you see how upset I am over all of this? I want to be with you in the future but you are just throwing it back in my fucking face? Do you just like the attention or something? Is that why you just straight up refused to listen to me?" he questions, looking right into your eyes with his own, his eyes being similar to how they looked when he came to your house & confessed to you not too long ago, but with anger mixed in along with them this time.

"You're fucking joking, right? What 'attention' am I getting other than you yelling in my face about it? Stop being such a jealous prick Hyunjin, the future isn't now so you don't have this 'claim' on me like you think you do, as much as I want it & how much you claim yo want to, we aren't fucking dating & you wanna know why I think you're trying to hold back? Is because you like the attention & you won't be able to fuck anyone else without it being considered cheating! Come back to me when you can sort your jealousy & other issues out." You scream at him, a tear or two falling down your cheeks but you're quick to wipe them away, not looking right at him as you speak.

Hyunjin cackles at our words before yet again stopping you from being able to leave, putting his hand on the door handle. "You speak so much stuff that you're convinced you know all about but you couldn't be so wrong it's honestly a joke. I don't want anyone else but you & I've made it so clear since the start, You expect me to not be jealous when someone is fawning over you.. what's mine? Acting as if your blood doesn't boil when anyone flirts with me? You being so pissed about Lisa is a prime example. Stop acting like you're any better than me, that you're not just as possessive over me, you just don't wanna seem like a psycho about it." He replies, his tone still full of venom but no longer yelling at you, tonguing his cheek.

"Why wouldn't I be jealous? I'm clearly threatened by all the girls who drool over you, even more so because I'm not similar to those girls, I'm not as confident or straight up ballsy as them! But the way you've gone about everything is so wrong Hyunjin." You cry, voice lowering to match his but the tears not fully stopping & he takes his finger to wipe them away, pouting.

"I'd be lying if I said you admitting you're jealous isn't hot, but stop fucking worrying, I wouldn't give you the time of day if I wasn't one hundred percent sure. Stop crying too, you don't need to. But being for real, y/n, sto-" He is cut off as your phone begins ringing in the back pocket of your jeans & Hyunjins arm is quick to swing around & pull it out before reading the nameless number, Hyunjin hands it to you with his eyebrows raised, already knowing who it is.

You answer the phone & It's obviously Jisung, who doesn't even give you time to say anything before asking you a whole bunch of questions, saying he is 'stuck' on what to do.

As Jisung speaks, Hyunjin taps the 'speaker' button before ushering you towards his bed, his smirk not leaving his face. You look up at him with confused eyes as the back of your knees hit the bed, making you sit on it before Hyunjin pushes on your shoulder so you're laying fully down, your feet still on the floor of his room before getting on top of you & moving your head to the side before nuzzling his face in your neck, beginning to nibble at it, making you tense up beneath him & your breath hitches.

"Jisung can I call you ba-" You're cut off by Hyunjin nibbling down on your neck as he mumbles a 'nuh uh' & your hand reaches up to pull on Hyunjins hair & he does his best to hold back a groan, his hand slithering down to your jeans, unbuttoning the button after around thirty seconds of trying & then using his hand & legs to push them down just far enough for acccess.

He begins to allow his finger to graze over the outside of your pussy, feeling the fabric of your panties, not failing to feel over the small wet patch now visible as he sucks a dark purple hickey into the crook of your neck & your eyes scrunch together as you bite your lip, trying to not make a sound.

"I did the first two paragraphs but I'm stuck on what quotes to use, I think the ones I've chosen are too short to keep writing about, what quotes did you choose?" Han questions on the other end of the phone but you're barely paying attention as the man above you now wriggles his fingers under your panties, now drawing small circles on your clit, making you gasp.

"You can't use t-the same quotes I use J-jisung, read what you've chose o-out to me." you stutter out, hips grinding against Hyunjins fingers as best as you can with the position you're in.

Jisung begins to read out his quotes & Hyunjin can't help but let out a small chuckle, half at how hard Han is trying but the other half being at how hard you're trying to remain coherent, so he steps up his actions. He cups your pussy before dragging his hand down to your dripping hole & entering two fingers in, a small squelch being heard & your legs tense up even more as you melt into his lips, still suckling hickey after hickey into your neck.

"Y/n? Am I breaking up? We can meet up if you want & you can go over it, I know a café we can meet at if you're free?" He requests & Hyunjin breaks away from you neck to reply for you. "y/n is busy, figure it out." he remarks as he hangs up before turning your phone off & tossing it to the side.

"Didn't know you're into that, y/nnie, you're so wet just from a few touches? So dirty." he remarks, smirking at you before locking his lips with yours, his tongue tasting your own before he even gives you time to respond & you bring your hands to cup his cheeks.

His fingers begin to hit against your G-spot as he uses a 'come here' motion as his thumb begins to rub your clit from side to side, making you whine into his mouth, making him smirk.

You move your arm down, dragging your nails down the front of him & over his abs over his shirt before beginning to palm his cock over his joggers, making his hips jerk forward before changing your position by rolling himself onto the bed & pulling you so you're straddling him, his fingers leaving your cunt as he does so, making you whince.

You begin grinding over his covered hard on after kicking your jeans fully off, you being left in just your shirt & panties. "Maybe you're the dirty one Hyune, can't resist touching me while your friend is on the phone hmm?" You finally have the chance to reply & Hyunjin chuckles as his hands come down to your ass, fondling the skin. "Oh but I can resist, but why would I when it's funny to hear him try ask you out while disguising it as 'studying' while you're at my house currently half naked?" he replies instantly, biting his lip as your wetness is now soaking through your panties & leaving a small spot on his clothes, staining them.

You roll your eyes before you pull his shirt off his body, messing up his hair a bit before you slither yourself off the bed & onto his carpeted floor & tugging on his joggers, his hips raising to help you remove them, leaving him in only his underwear.

"You're being bold for someone who couldn't take more than a quarter of my cock last time you sucked it, you trying to train yourself for Jisung?" he teases, resting his bodyweight on his elbows, looking down at you as you pull his hardened cock out, pumping it slowly in your hand.

"Maybe I just didn't want to take any more seeing since I have no idea where it's been." you spit back, looking up at him as you smirk, your bottom lip in between your teeth as you let a glob of spit escape your lips & fall onto his pretty pink tip. He opens his mouth to respond but you cut his words out of his chest by licking a long strip from just above his base to his tip before letting the tip fall past your lips, suckling on it softly, making him hiss.

You let your tongue swirl against his tip before you begin dipping your head lower, allowing your mouth to take part of his shaft in your mouth too. You are still a bit nervous since it's only your second time sucking cock but Hyunjins words fuel you to prove to him you can take it all, so as he is taking a deep breath out, hand holding your hair out of your face, you force your head down further so over half of his cock is now in your mouth & you hollow your cheeks, making his toes curl & have to consciously try not jerk his hips into your mouth.

"You been practicing y/n? Doing so well, taking it so g-good, so pretty." he groans, lightly slapping your cheeks, feeling his cock through the skin of your cheek, giving him butterflies.

You begin to bob your head up & down his cock as you use your hand to jerk him off in the same rhythm, making his grip in your hair tighter as his groans & hisses get more frequent, making you convinced you're probably leaking your own wetness onto the floor you're situated on.

You let yourself off his cock to catch a breath as you let all the spit that's formed in your mouth get dribbled back onto his cock if it hasn't already fell past your lips & you look up at him with glossy eyes as you pump him at a faster pace, his cheeks blown out & now breathing out his mouth.

"Only practice I've gotten is off the pretty boy I'm looking at right now." you chuckle, honestly having no idea where the confidence is coming from before you blow cold air onto his tip, making him yelp & scrunch his eyes shut before leaning forward to pull you back onto the bed.

"I refuse to cum before fucking you" he mumbles, out of breath as he kisses you again, full of tongue. "Open your mouth." he hushes as he breaks away from your lips, fingers playing with your folds over your panties again, his wet cock against your thigh.

You do as he says & he spits into your mouth, humming as you swallow it, nothing but lust in both of your eyes. "Such a slut deep down, aren't you? You want more? Your hips can't fucking stay still." he chuckles, biting his lip as he looks down at the sight below, your lower half squirming to try get more friction & you just whine.

"Hyune.. Please give me it, don't I deserve it?" You question, seduction tinging your voice & Hyunjin can't stop the feeling of his cheeks & ears going hot, the way you're currently talking making his head spin.

He stands up & pulls you towards the edge of the bed, still laying on your back as he peels off your soiled underwear, your pussy glistening & his mouth waters, deciding to spit right onto your clit, making you whine.

He pushes your legs that little bit further apart before situating himself between them, jerking himself slowly while looking down at you. "How bad do you want it, hmm? tell me how much you want it, pretty." he speaks, not looking away from your pretty face as he hits his tip against your clit, making a tiny, sticky slapping noise. "Hyune I deserve it, want it so much, don't I? Look how wet I am for you." you whine, fingers trailing down to spread your lips, exposing your hole to him.

Hyunjin groans at the action , his cock twitching as he aligns himself up with your entrance. "Say it one more time, didn't quite hear you." he replies, hand caressing the inside of your thigh as he drags his cock up & down your folds. "Hyunjin please just put it in! I need it s-" Your cries are cut off as he pushes his tip past your hole & sheaves into you until his pretty, full & heavy balls are against your skin, making you gasp.

"You're so tight, Jisung not fucking you right?" He asks, trying to sound calm & collected when in reality he is trying to not cum on the spot, your warm, wet walls wrapping around his dick perfectly. "t-stop winding me up hyune, please move." you whine in response, making Hyunjin smirk as he retracts his hips before thrusting back into you, knocking the air out of your lungs.

He sets a slow but powerful pace, small squelching noises & both of your whines & grunts filling not only his bedroom but the entire apartment. "For someone wh-who's such a fu-fuckboy, you're not fucking me l-like one." You struggle but get the words out, wanting to give him a taste of his own medicine & it works as he grunts before pushing the backs of your thighs up against your chest before beginning to pound into you, making you squeal.

"You wanna try repeat that for me, hmm? You're saying that as if anyone can fuck you like this but me, your cunt is mine, can't your brain understand that or are you just too much of a whore to only want one dick?" He snaps at you, his hair sticking to his forehead because of the sweat as he abuses your cunt, his thumb reaching down to your cunt, making you yelp & your hips begin meeting his thrusts halfway.

You shake your head but he isn't happy with that response & he grabs your face by the cheeks, forcing you to look up at him as he leans forward. "Words, y/n, where did your boldness go, hmm? Who's pussy is this? Tell m-me." He asks, breath quick & short as he doesn't slow down for even a second, letting out a hiss as you reach up to his back & digging your nails into him on accident, for sure leaving marks later but none of you bothering to care.

"Y-y-yours! Hyun-jin I'ma c-cum." you screech, brain going completely blank, your body almost exploding with sensation. Hyunjin smirks at you before standing upright again, continuing his assault on your swollen cunt. "Cum for me then, show me how good I-I make you feel, Only I can do this for you, can't I? Only I know how to m-make you feel so good, you look so beautiful under me, you need to see." he groans back at you, throwing his head back momentarily before looking back down at you as you cum around his cock, wriggling & squirming as it washes over you, your knuckles going white from the grip you have on his bedsheets.

He fucks you through your orgasm, leaving you breathless before he pulls out. You don't have much time to question it however as he pulls out of you & grabbing your phone off the floor before returning to you.

"Gonna show you how fucking hot you look, It's on your phone so it's just for your eyes, no stress." He says, breathless as he turns on the video option before pressing record & sliding himself back into you, your orgasm forming a white ring around his base.

You clench around his thick cock, partly from overstimulation as he begins pumping into you again, chasing his own release now. The camera is pointed at you so you decide to act up a little, pulling your shirt above your tits, exposing your hardened buds to the camera & cold air of the room, making Hyunjin whine. "Look how beautiful you are y/n, you're anything & everything I could e-ever fucking want, taking me so well, I've t-trained you to take my c-cock so well." he says in a husky voice, his throat now dry as he continues ogling you, looking down at your swollen, reddened pussy, dragging the phone down to let the screen get a good look too, watching it tense & clench around him, making his knees almost buckle.

His eyes widen as your fingers move up to your pretty tits as you begin playing with your own nipples, tugging & pulling on them before raising your fingers to Hyunjins lips & he gladly suckles on them, moaning onto them before you pull them out of his mouth & caress your now spit covered nipples softly.

"You like the c-camera, beautiful? You-you're so dirty, so p-perfect for me. Turn your pretty face to the side, show the camera w-what you let me do to you y/nnie" He groans, his voice high pitched & squeaky & you do as he says instantly, not fully processing what he meant or said as he move the camera upwards, showing the purple marks he has inprinted on your skin.

"G-gonna cum y/n." he forces the words out & before you even realise, you're wrapping your legs around his waist & pulling him towards you. He tosses the phone to the side again before falling onto his elbows on each side of your head & you use the rest of your strength to tilt your head up enough to connect your lip to his neck & you begin pinching the skin of his neck with your teeth & you suck a big purplish red mark into his neck as his own orgasm washes over him.

He melts into your skin as his orgasm fills you, coating your walls & giving you goose bumps. You let him fully lay on you as you softly kiss his neck & earlobe, letting him catch his breath back as you also try relax your own breathing.

You lay like this for a minute or two in complete silence as you now begin playing with Hyunjins wet hair, before tears start leaving your eyes. You begin to sniffle & Hyunjins brain switches itself back on as he pushes his head up from your neck to look at you, now crying.

"Y/nnie, why are you crying? Did I hurt you?" He begins to panic as he moves off of you to start checking you but you sit up too, basically following him as you wrap your arms around him, pulling him back down to you.

"Just stay here f'r a bit, Hyune I'm sorry, I didn't know how upset I would make you." you sniffle, not looking right at him as he looks at your reddened face, his heart hurting. "I'm sorry too, I don't want you to feel insecure, I was being stupid. Can we.. go on a proper date? I know it's not the most romantic time or place to ask but I was n still am serious about only wanting you y/n, I mean it, pinkie swear." He asks you in a soft voice & he holds out his pinkie to you & you can't help but let out a small giggle as you interlock them together then kissing your thumbs before locking in the promise.

"Took you long enough to fucking ask me." You reply as you wipe the tears off your cheeks, reaching up to kiss Hyunjin on the cheek & his already red cheeks get an even darker shade.

"Better late than never, Stay here n I'm gonna get us a drink n we can go for a bath." He kisses your forehead before getting off of you but he takes the time to shuffle you up to his pillows & laying your head on it as he grabs his bed throw & lays you under it so you're not just sitting there, before leaving the room dancing & singing.

"Y/n & Hyunjin sitting in a tree" He sings out loud as he walks around his house & you can't help but laugh. "Stop singing that or I'll change my mind!" You yell & he shuts up instantly (not including the whine of protest he yells back), making you laugh to yourself.

I'm not completely sure I want to do a fourth part to this so in case this is actually the finale, I really hope everyone who has taken the time to read it has enjoyed reading the past 3 parts as much as I enjoyed writing them & thank you for all the kind words! <3

TAGS: @tsunderelino @troublemaker02 @ismokeeweed @lmhcats @isagerada

[sunshine304]

FTH Fanbinding: "Concord" by Deastar

@youhideastar won my FTH auction and gave me a great gift: She wanted me to bind her CQL fic "Concord" including the thorough author's commentary she'd done. I was so happy when she chose this fic because I'd loved it so much and had pondered doing a fanbinding of it at some point anyway. 😄

Now that the book has finally arrived (spending two days in the air even, I guess, at least when one looks at the tracking info 😆), I can show it off here!

I tried some new stuff on this bind and also some things that I'd only done once before and that definitely need some, uh, perfecting. 😅 But overall, I'm very pleased with how this book turned out, as it's pretty close to what I'd imagined when I started it.

The fic is set in Cloud Recesses and Dea and I agreed that the colour blue should be prominent in the design, as it not only fits the setting, but also is of significance in the story itself. As the rules and traditions of the Lan sect also are quite important, I wanted a very clean, simple style for the case, a bit reminiscent of traditional Chinese bindings.

I did the title as a cut-out and used Japanese transparent paper for some extra flavour. The paper shows up inside the book as well early on and I liked the recurring motive of it. I'm also really pleased how well the hot foil came out on it! I was a bit scared that it might rip or something, but it's quite sturdy, after all.

I thought about doing a faux stab binding with red thread to get even more of a traditional feel, but then decided against it as I'd wanted to use two different blue book cloths and I felt that it might get too busy. Instead, I used the red ribbon as a nod to Wei Wuxian.

The little cloud illustration is used several times in the typeset and I like how it comes out in the title. I didn't even mess up this title, yay! (Mine's got a few tiny blotches but uh well, better mine than Dea's!)

I painted the edges with metallic watercolours - the second time I tried painting edges, but this time with several colours and trying to do a little illustration as well. Big thanks to @zhalfirin who quickly answered my question about how to get the paint to actually stick. 😆 I'd read several posts about how awesome water colours are for foreedge painting, but none mentioned that this kind of paint just rubs off again (I am no artist and have no knowledge of different kinds of paint). Zhalfirin told me to mix in glue and also wax the edges afterwards, which I both did and I think it's fine now. At least my fingers didn't turn blue. 😅

I really love how the shading came out on the head/tail; it could've been better on the foreedge and it looked great while the paint was still wet. Steep learning curve, this thing. I also died trying to sand the edges and I didn't get them completely smooth, but at least smooth enough to work with. That also needs some more work, I guess.

First time I sewed endbands with four different colours! I think they came out quite well! I also forgot the second row of dark blue on Dea's book and had to unravel half the endband again when I noticed at the very end... 🤦‍♀️

Nice marbled endpapers. For the title page spread, I used part a very famous Chinese painting, as it not only reminds me of the Gusu mountains but also, again, is very traditional. I played around with the colours to give the picture a bit of a bluer tinge.

The typeset itself was very straight-forward. There's the fic without commentary, and then the second part with it. I used a grey background for the comment parts to make it stand out from the actual story.

I had lots of printer issues with this fic (my copy actually had even more issues because the printer treated every page as an image for unknown reasons and therefore it not only took forever, it's also a tiny bit blurry. Hmpf.) and the greys tended to have a bit of a blue tinge, which was not my intention. But at least it works with the overall theme, I guess! 😅

I also did an extensive Appendix with all the meta links mentioned in the commentary as well as cut scenes and a little "praise for the author" section.

Last but not least, I decided to try making a slipcase for the first time! DAS_Bookbinding on youtube has good tutorials on that and I used one of them. It worked well on the first try. The second try, I used sturdier cardboard and should've added a few millimetres to the width, because the book didn't fit - the ribbon got stuck and I feared that it might get damaged. So I had to redo the case and then it was perfect.

I used wallpaper as cover material. 😄 The one you see on the outside? That's my living room wallpaper, a light blue with a lovely pattern and soft shimmer to it. My camera unfortunately is refusing to get the colour right.🤷‍♂️

The assembling process went well, for the most part. I'd forgotten to shorten the endpapers a bit which I only realised after I'd started casing in my copy. I carefully separated the textblock from the case again and then, in a moment of complete mental blackout, tried to cut the wet paper. 🤦‍♀️ That didn't go well. I managed to salvage it, mostly, and of course didn't repeat the mistake with Dea's copy, but ugh. 😆

This was a super fun project and I'm very happy with it! Thank you again, Dea, for your faith in me and your super generous donation! 💙

Materials used:

Printed on Clairefontaine DCP 100g

Case and endpapers:

booklinen Colibri cornflower

booklinen Paradise aqua

marbled paper 120g

transparent Japanese paper

Hot Foil (Memory Keepers)

Slipcase:

fleece wallpaper Newroom Nisa lightblue

fleece wallpaper grey glitter

[jay-arts-t]

October slide is up on us chronically ill individuals so here are some Logan, Laura and Wade headcanons.

I'd like to think Logan experiences pretty similar symptoms to EDS (So more like HSD since they may not experience all related symptoms) since his joints have to hold together adamantium bones. He gets that deep aching twang in his knees, his back hurts more no matter what position he sleeps in.

Wade jokes that he's going into hibernation because Logan starts to struggle with getting up in the morning - not because he's a lazy lump, he just can't bring himself to get out of the warm little pile they've got going on. But once Wade realizes it's because Logan gets chronic pain as well he's investing in an electric blanket to keep them all warm. Logan lives in that blanket now. Their electric bill is through the roof.

I imagine whenever something dislocates or drifts he just casually shoves it back in place as best he can, unless it's his ribs. There isn't much he can do about it. The first time he mentioned that his ribs drift Wade went, "I'm sorry your WHAT?? Put them back???" while Laura just nodded in understanding

Laura experiences pretty similarly to Logan since they have the same conditions. Well, at least in the movie franchise they both have fully adamantium skeletons. I think in the comics they surgically removed her claws, coated them in adamantium and re-implanted them. Pretty sure they did the same thing with Daken with the muramasa blade- but that's a whole can of worms for another time.

I think Laura gets a lot more of the internal issues rather than a lot of joint pain. Yes it's still there, but she has a harder time with stomach pain, her periods are more painful because even internal tissue is affected by EDS. So essentially if she's having a Not Fun Time™ she's crawling over to Logan and using him as a heating pad. Which Logan doesn't mind because 1 Yippie Daughter Time, 2 Yippie Affection, and 3 the pressure feels good on his joints and they both end up falling asleep for the lovable 3pm 6-hour nap.

Laura 🤝 Wade - silly patterned compression socks. You will never see that woman not wearing them. She gets Logan Garfield ones and he wears holes into them.

Once the first leaf falls from the trees Wade is BUNDLED. Warm hat? Check. 3 shirts, 2 hoodies, 2 pants plus compression leggings, 3 socks, and a big ol' winter coat. Logan calls him ridiculous and reminds him that winter and autumn aren't as consistent as they used to be, and they'll probably be back in the 80s the next day. But Wade isn't hearing any of it. He's staying vigilant. He knows his body. It doesn't matter if it's hot or cold, as soon as fall hits his body is like, "hey you know that healing factor you have? Damn where'd it go???"

Laura gets him a portable heating pad.

Vanessa helps Logan learn about what foods are easy on Wade's stomach and which ones to avoid making so he's not in more pain than he already is.

Once winter hits Logan is happy because he's lone wolf cringe and likes the silence and solidarity of winter. Baby you're not getting that in the inner city parts of New York. You're getting slush in the sidewalks and the distinct smell of artificial salt and probably most definitely sewage.

On the other hand, Laura and Wade are miserable. They miss summer. Everything was better when it was hot. Their only reprieve is that it's soup season and also hot beverages are more available (besides coffee, though Laura is a big coffee person. Logan hates it, she calls him a pussy. Wade also hates it unless it's iced with 800 pumps of vanilla and caramel and creamer (real)). I think Wade would be a big eggnog lover but it destroys his stomach. Logan has caught him chugging the carton in the middle of the night. It was disgusting. Logan does the same thing with apple cider.

That's all I got for now

[yanderes-galore]

Request: Mikan from Danganronpa? either general headcanons or alphabet would be great!!!

Sure! I was going to do a concept... but in this case I feel an Alphabet will do better.

Yandere Alphabet - Mikan Tsumiki

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Clingy behavior, Slight lewd behavior? (It's Mikan....), Jealousy, Possessive behavior, Overly affectionate behavior, Breach of privacy/personal space, Blood, Murder, Drugging, Kidnapping, Isolation, Delusional behavior, Double suicide mentioned once, Forced relationship.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Mikan is often very intense when obsessed, if her canon wasn't obvious enough.... Mikan is a yandere most likely to experience romantic attraction to her obsession. When she does... she goes from reclusive and shy to... overwhelming.

She's obsessive and clingy... even known to follow those close to her. While usually meek and not aggressive, she doesn't have her obsession out of her sight.

Safe to say, she's one of the more intense ones when it comes to affection. She always has to be physically touching her obsession, maybe even sitting in their lap. It's awkward on your hand... yet soothing for her.

She does a lot of PDA... Which often makes you try to distance yourself. Something she doesn't enjoy in the slightest.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

I'd say very messy. Mikan is shown to do whatever she needs to in order to obtain the love of her obsession. That can be murder... or any other heinous action.

Mikan has a sadistic sense of joy when she pushes herself to despair... Especially if it means killing a 'friend'. They weren't worth it anyways. With their blood on her hands and drenching her clothes...

She's one step closer to making you hers.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Once abducted? Well, first of all, you always have at least one drug in your system. Mikan has admitted in canon she likes the power she gets when helping the weak.

She's definitely keeping you weak so you could never escape her. She'd lock you away in a room and keep you bedridden. If she does... You won't leave her.

You can't leave her.

She wouldn't mock you, but she does feel... dehumanizing. She babies you and praises you, treating you like you're some patient. Without the "medicine" she keeps giving you, you'd be fine.

Safe to say... You'll be well cared for... against your will.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Quite a lot, actually. Before she's too obsessed, she's terrified of doing something you'll hate her for.

Later on, however, she's completely delusional and will act smothering.... She's determined to make you like her more than anyone else.

Even if it means she needs to be more... clumsy around you.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

I'd say a lot. It's rather easy to tell something is wrong with her around you and only you. She's vulnerable around as she feels the safest beside you. You can tell she "loves" you...

Or, at least, a warped version of it.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Genuinely distraught. This is the reason she ends up weakening her obsession. She doesn't want you fighting back, let alone running.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

No and she absolutely hates you trying to leave her. She'd have a mental breakdown. Obviously she's unstable.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

I'm going to assume the eventual kidnapping, just due to the fact she will make you feel reliant on her against your will. Nothing's scarier than being unable to act.

Even when it's just her stalking or clingy behavior... you can still run and get help.

Not once she has you, though.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Definitely something involving her taking care of you indefinitely. She wants her love to need her. That's her delusional fantasy once her obsession hits its peak.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Yes... Yes she does. She gets very jealous if she feels you're being taken from her. She will probably try to cope at first. Yet as her obsession continues, she decides she might need to use more... permanent ways of getting rid of people.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Clingy, Manipulative, Shy, Submissive, Possessive, Delusional, Smothering, Guilt-Trips, Emotional.

While most of the time meek... she can quickly become an issue if she's encouraged.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

It would start with you two meeting and becoming friends. Maybe you defended her from bullies or one of her "accidents". It really doesn't take much for Mikan to become obsessed.

You simply being nice may just get her hooked.

After that she ends up being clingy and you think that's just how she is due to her past. However... when you're unaware... She's stalking you.

She follows you, sneaks into your bed, steals your things... surprisingly cliché yandere stuff, actually.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

I'd have to say... yes? It's true within the game too I feel.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

I'm not sure but I could say isolation while you're on a high dose of drugs... But in reality she may not punish you. What she does already is bad enough.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

By the time she has you in her grasp? All of them.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

I'd say very patient. She has to be due to her role.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Honestly, probably not. Mikan seems like she'd want to die with her obsession actually. You're certainly not escaping, that's for sure. If you died, she's no doubt dying too.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

No and never.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Definitely her background and childhood. Girl has gone through it.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

She'd probably break down alongside you. She's unstable emotionally.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Definitely the fact she wants to constantly play "doctor" to them.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Definitely just avoiding her in the first place. I would say bullying her to break her facade a bit but let's be honest...

If it's from you, she probably won't leave.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

I have a feeling she would unintentionally.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

She's definitely a bit of a worship yandere. She'd do anything if it meant she had you. You don't need to love her... just allow her near you.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

I'd say for a long time until something or someone forces her to act.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Most likely.

[zwolfgames]

Idk, but I think bg3 reader would try to leave the group, if they know about their yandere personalities, lol. Please, your bg3 works are so good. I expect the new one

(So, not a continuation of the last drabble. This is hypothetical for now. Also it deleted my answer the first time :( so this is try two, it may seem a bit rushed. And I got a bit off track, woops.)

Warnings: mentions of yandere stuff I suppose.

Y/N in this au (aka teen tav) really isn't stupid, sure they grew up in a village with just their mother and pulled random spells out of their ass like a true sorcerer, but they're not stupid.

The party started with variable reactions to a minor in the group. Act 1 doesn't showcase a lot of Yan tendencies due to everything still going kind of fine and everyone getting to know each other.

The yandere part really starts in act 2 when they enter the Shadow cursed lands. Unlike the normal region of act 1 are the Shadowlands riddled with danger.

The party quickly gets their wake-up call after things like Kar'niss (who gets his little momemt) and the other bosses and dangers. Katherine Thorm, being a threat, also doesn't help ease the party's feelings.

The group would go from silly to way more protective in act 2. But Y/N can't do anything about that yet. The shadows would eat them alive, or someone else could get them. Better left with unease rather than dead, right?

I've purposefully mentioned Y/N's mother in the drabbles to show the main goal of the reader, which is to return to their mother. This goal is being held back by a party of people who no longer seem intent to part ways with you once this is over.

Sure, Y/N wanted their cool adventure with heroes like Wyll Ravenguard, but staying with them permanently? Haha... no.

So after the wake-up call of act 2, Y/N would take their chances at escape in Baldur Gate. The thing is, though, Y/N isn't from Baldurs Gate. They don't know the alleys like the back of their hand in the same manner that Astarion does. They didn't grow up playing in the secret passageways like Karlach...

This is a dangerous game you're playing. The more you wiggle, the tighter their hold. It's just how it goes with people who have faced enough to lose it.

They handle you in different ways, of course.

Wyll, Gale, and Halsin strike me as the type to have wanted to protect this poor kid from the start, so their resolve just strengthens to unnecessary levels. You wouldn't mind just being carried to bed by a bear man, would you? He knows some good elvish lullabies.

Lae'zel is her own separate category, she's a githyanki, they have very diffrent ways then most folk on faerun. I'm basing her motherly ability on the prologue where she raises the gith egg. She may not be affectionate, but she does not want you out of sight. Expect training.

Karlach and Astarion surprisingly go together here. They don't seem like the parental type. More of an aunt/uncle. Would try and stay your friend. Guiltripping from Karlach that she may or not be aware of herself, and straight up manipulation from Astarion. They both had a bad past. You can stay, right? As a little gift from the gods?

Shadowheart didn't like you from the start, not a fan of kids. Her yandere strikes a lot later. First, she had only been worried about your health as a cleric. After her arc at the end of the shadow cursed lands (freeing Dame Aylin etc) she gets a bit of that parental feeling nonsense too. Though I'd say she shows it the least. You'd be tricked easily into thinking she's the only normal one in the party.

Minthara, I'm unsure if I can find a good way to let her join, but she'd be similar to Lae'zel, just crueler and definitely bot secretive about her want for your stay. If you ask her directly, she'd just plain out and say that if she catches you, you're getting bound.

Jaheira, natural mom, she's got kids, protected the kids. Don't expect her to be sweet, but you're definitely not going out of sight.

Minsc joins in Act 3, so really, he doesn't have the time to get to know you, he's funny, you're funny. Friends. Not that the rest appreciates the time you spent with him. They're scared you're gonna make up a talking animal next.

All in all, Y/N would try and escape. It just isn't very likely to succeed. If you get far... well, there are other beings out there still after you, you know?

Just forget your mom. Aren't they better family now? Your mom didn't teach you spells, did she? Or swordplay? Maybe how to make balms?

Cmon, they're the best option. Stay.

Just an answer lol, hope i didn't make anyone too OOC with just this. Xd.

[arttsuka]

Ok here are my thoughts about arcane season 2, buckle up

I wana say, I liked the second season, less about what we saw, more about the story they wanted to tell.

It started fine but as soon as episode 4 came the problem was clear. The pacing was bad. Everything was happening too fast, there was no time for smaller moments. A lot of character development was off screen too.

I've heard they were supposed to have more seasons but decided last minute to cut the show short because 'there are more stories to be told'.

Caitlyn had most of her arc off screen which is such a shame, I really wanted to see how she realized she was being manipulated, I wanted to see her dictatorship era. But we got none of that, it's implied it happened but we didn't get to see it.

Sevika was relevant up until ep4 and then we see her again in ep8. I don't think she has any speaking lines after ep4. Such a waste of her character, she was really interesting.

Isha. She came to the series as suddenly as she left. I have a lot of problems with her character, one of them being that she wasn't introduced organically. She randomly fell on Jinx (by accident). Arcane relies way too much on 'right place right time', on coincidences so, when that can be avoided, it definitely should. Make her fall on top of the first person that passed through on purpose so she won't get hurt (that person being Jinx is the only coincidence here). Her sacrifice felt a bit unearned because we didn't get to see her a lot, and after ep6, they never speak of her again (it affected Jinx sure but they don't even mention her once).

Mel. They did her dirty this season. They speedruned her arc (and the whole thing felt so out of place). I've heard that maybe the next show was going to be focused on Noxus etc which, if it turns out to be true, would be a bad decision. If they are actually planning on making something about Noxus, I'd at least expect Ambessa to be there and also, it would be a great opportunity to learn about Mel and her powers in greater detail instead of whatever we got.

Viktor as the herald, ultimate life form or whatever was so short lived. Make you wonder why they decided to include it only in the last episode instead of implementing a bit earlier.

Vi was also so, useless this season. She did almost nothing. She was a punching bag for the most of it.

Jinx felt a bit ooc, less about what she was doing and more about how there wasn't any time to see her get over Silco's death. Silco had such a negative effect on her mental health (all these hallucinations from s01) but he dies and boom, mentally stable? I would have liked to see her become healthier (it would also tie nicely with getting to know Isha better).

Vander. They brought him back. It was actually foreshadowed in the first season. Him being back is not my problem, on the contrary I think it was a great way to naturally bring Vi and Jinx back together. My problem was how we see him for 2 episodes (and then he 'dies'). It felt like a waste of time honestly, time that could have been used to see something else.

Episode 6 has to be the worst episode of the whole show. The pacing is pretty bad. The events that take place in it feel like 3 episodes, not 1. We get not 1 but 2 different artstyle montages, making the episode look, weird...

The best episodes were probably ep03 and ep07. Both had nice pacing (especially ep07, it felt like it was straight out of s01) and the story explored in them was pretty captivating. But I do have a problem with ep07. It's where Ekko got his 'time powers' from and honestly, they were pretty underwhelming? Also not at all well implemented to the story. We literally see him use them 3 times. 1: when he finds out about them, 2: when he saves Jinx and 3: when he goes back to try not to get captured by Viktor's mannequins. The last 2 on the same episode. That 4-second-limit was never really relevant (at least I don't think it's was). They wasted an entire episode giving him powers only for him to never really use them and for the machine to act as a bomb.

Also I didn't like the dancing scene with Powder and Ekko. I understand the vision behind it but I felt like my TV was dropping frames. It felt choppy, cheap (such a shame for a beautiful scene).

Now, I liked the lesbian sex scene in ep8, I really did, but it felt so out of place. Jinx basically implied she was going to kill herself, Vi was on the verge of tears because she was insecure about how she seemed to only make the wrong choices and then, that scene happens. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I've seen people compare it to the s01 'Jayce/Mel vs Viktor dying' scene and while I understand where the comparison is coming from it's definitely not the same. In that scene, Jayce didn't know Viktor was dying (he knew about his deteriorating health, but he was clearly shocked and left Mel to go check out on him etc etc).

Also, Caitlyn should have gone down on Vi. I think they image would have been stronger. Vi was at the bottom of the barrel her entire life (literal plot point, being from the undercity etc) so seeing Caitlyn, someone of higher status and power, being the one to 'bow' would just be more powerful. Just a thought.

I just feel like I liked their relationship and dynamics more in s01. They had more casual moments, more natural dialogue. Yes we won but at what cost? Their relationship was so sweet in s01. In s02 it started sweet, turned out to be manipulative on Caitlyns side*, they break up and then they're fine again.

*in ep3 it's clearly shown that while Caitlyn loves Vi she's willing to manipulate her to reach her own goals. That first kiss we see was definitely more of a 'I'm gonna play with your emotions so you don't doubt me' rather than 'let's just kiss now'.

I liked how Jinx cut her hair. The whole 'hair holds memories' and how she was ready to move on. Too sad that scene didn't have the proper gravity it deserved because the lesbian sex was happening (probably) the same time.

Ep9 was, something. I'm conflicted about it. On one hand I really liked how they tied up Viktor's and Jayce's plot lines, on the other hand everything else was so rushed. Caitlyn and Mel were a team (they didn't feel like one honestly), they fought Ambessa and then she randomly died from the black rose. It felt like they just wanted an excuse to kill her. 'She needed to die so Mel could become the wolf' no, not really. She could still be alive, have Mel 'spare her life' or something. It would be more on track with Mel's ideals that way.

Jinx sacrificing herself to save Vi was also so forced**. It felt specifically written so she could 'die'. I do believe that 'Jinx is alive' theory because Caitlyn looking at the vents while holding that monkey head Jinx's bomb had + that air balloon Powder said she'd fly away with are all too specific to be coincidences.

**her sacrifice was forced but foreshadowed. Isha was acting as an 'archetype' of what Jinx had to become. Her whole existence in the show was so Jinx could become an icon for Zauns revolution and for her to sacrifice herself so Jinx could see and do the same, break the cycle.

What really bothered me was how Jayce and Viktor seemed to be the only characters who had a complete story, everyone else had a lot missing scenes (they did too but way less, there never was a point where I thought 'where does this come from?', everythingwas explained about them. I wish I could say the same about the 'arcane', magic). It's so unfair, on the female lead show about 2 sisters for the male characters to be the final focus. Also another thing that bothered me how they did a seemingly better job at writing Ekko/Powder, the straight ship we got to see for 1 episode on a different timeline, rather that Vi/Caitlyn, the lesbian ship AND main focus since they're both main characters from the timeline were following.

Something else, I feel like the score for s01 was better/more memorable than s02. Sure s02 has some pretty good songs but s01 felt more diverse on that? Maybe that's just me.

Kinda lazy how they used the same song for the opening credits while using visuals way too similar (if not the same) to the artstyle of the show. Although, truth to be told, the s01 opening was way too good for any standards, it would be very hard if not impossible to make something better. Still, I feel like they could have done a better job.

Also maybe that's just me but there were a lot of predicable moments. Sometimes a scene would start playing and I'd know exactly where it was going (something I can't say for season 1).

I really liked in s01 how in each episode, before the opening, we got to see some glimpses from the past of each character. It was a great way not to have too many random flashbacks and include these scenes organically in each episode. In season 2 we don't get that. I understand that we already know these characters but it's still something I adored from s01.

What made s01 so appealing was how they handled the story, didn't rush things. How they took their time to make us understand and like the characters. With s02 we didn't get that luxury.

Season 1 was a masterpiece and unfortunately, season 2 didn't meet the expectations.

I still enjoyed watching it but it was definitely not as good as the experience of watching s01.

[eyebulb]

The Cause and Effect of Stolas' actions throughout the show. This is mostly for peeps who claim he never gets consequences. - Stolas being playfully sexy (in his head) turns out to be degrading. Leading to Blitz pulling away, feeding his preconceived notion that Stolas is just a kinky royal prick who wants to feel "dirty". Stolas' attempts at bonding and spending time with him is forever tainted by this and in Ozzie's this is brought to light. It also has further effect up until Apology Tour. (Sure, Blitz has his fair share of issues that also leads to this but part of it is because of those instances when Stolas acted in a way that fit Blitz' view of him). Stolas is continuously hurt by this.. which is why he's so scared of giving Blitz the crystal. Also starting their relationship as a transaction didn't really lay down good groundwork either. - Openly flirting with your new fling while still married and in front of your daughter.. being continuously neglectful towards her despite not meaning to. Leading to several instances in which Octavia feels replaced and forgotten. We see this several different times when Octavia is in an episode. And even though they kinda made up, it kept happening and eventually Octavia pulled away completely in Sinsmas. (Seeing stars was more cus of the divorce and all but they're all tied and shit) With this I'd like to include a thing he did that he thought was for the best but still bit him in the ass. - Shielding your daughter from the mess of your family and circumstances of her birth, your mental health and relationship with her mother. This was all in good faith.. He wanted her to have a better life than he had. To be able to be a kid and be loved. But.. it still gave him consequences in him looking like the ultimate shithead when he tried to chase his own happiness for once in his life. For Stolas, being w. Blitz and asking for a divorce was long overdue and good things for him. For Octavia it looked like a selfish dick who wanted to run away from his family. Not being open with her made him look like the ultimate bad guy. Speaking of Cheating. While Stella's treatment of Stolas is NOT justified (I get that she's in a shitty situation but it wasn't Stolas fault and choosing to take it out on him makes her shitty still). Him cheating on her with an imp of all creatures led to her treatment of him to escalate. It seems like she at least kept most ill treatment behind closed doors before since Octavia seems to correlate her behaviour to Stolas cheating. Plus now there's an assassin involved.. only for fun, mind you. Stella just want to torment him. And more recently -Lending out a powerful artifact illegally just because you have a crush on the guy. Ended up biting them both in the ass when the wrong person found out. Not that they were particularly careful about it tbh. Stolas ended up taking the full blame.. but it was definitely a stupid thing to do and it had direct consequences. And Stolas was the one with the responsibility there. All this to say.. It wasn't just this episode that ended Stolas in trouble because of his actions. I've seen a lot of people shouting "finally" as if this man hasn't had a miserable time throughout most of the show. People act as if he isn't aware of his wrongdoings even though he constantly mention how HE was the one in the wrong. He realized in Ozzie's that he'd treated Blitz the wrong way.. and that the deal was fucked up (not because Blitz thought so, mind you. I stand by that) and tried to rectify it by getting the crystal and giving Blitz a choice. And not calling him on the full moon nights anymore. Even while hurt and feeling rejected he still thinks that HE's the one who missed something and who messed up. He blames himself for the way Octavia feels about him too. He never even put the blame on Stella to her.. And more recently.. his words in Sinsmas "I caused ALL of this".. Just saying.

[princessmaybank]

🍒 - 2 & 10 w/ jj plsss 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Awe I hope you like it!!! This was so cute and I loved writing it! Enjoy!

Only One Time

Pairings: Sweet!JJ x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of sexual intercourse. More fluff.

Summary: Prompts 2 & 10 from this list.

Authors Note: I rarely write fluff so you guys better like this one!

JJ's POV:

It was just supposed to be a one time thing. That's what we told each other 3 months ago. We've had sex at least once a week since then. It wouldn't have been a problem if I would've just kept feelings out of it. I tried, I fought like hell, but every time I hear her moan my name, it sends me through a tunnel of love.

That is the same for this time as well. I am currently balls deep inside this amazing girl and she can't stop moaning my name and clawing my back. I like to think of her scratching as her way of claiming me.

Recently I've been trying to keep her in positions where I didn't see her face, but it never helped. This time, she insisted on missionary, so basically I was fucked. Haha literally. "Jay- I'm gonna cum- don't stop!" She moaned. Fuck, she said my name again. I can't stand it. "Me too, me too.." I hissed out. Y/N clenched around my dick and came all over it. It was just enough to tip me over the edge. I slipped out and spilled my cum on her stomach just in time. We both stared at each other with bright smiles on our faces. We both looked exhausted but she still looked perfect.

"What is it Jay?" She asked, catching her breath between words. "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are? " My cheeks heated up and I mentally slapped myself, I don't know why I just fucking said that.

"Uhm no actually.." She blushed and looked down at her fingers. I definitely couldn't take back what I said. Not that I wanted to, I just wanted to fucking hide for the rest of my life. "Well I think you should be told every day. You really are absolutely gorgeous Y/N. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise." I smiled and gave her a small hug. She seemed to blush harder now. "Thank you Jay, that means a lot to me." Y/N answered.

We laid there cuddling for a while, nearly falling asleep a few times. I'd like to say this was the first time we cuddled after sex, but it's actually become a normal thing since our 3rd or 4th time together. So yeah, pretty much every fucking time.

"Hey Jay?" She asked. We were spooning, one arm under her head, the other is laid over her hip, and my dick was pressed against her ass. "Yes Y/N?" I asked. "Did you mean what you said earlier? About me being pretty?" She questioned. "Of course I did. Why wouldn't I mean it?" I was slightly confused. "No one's ever called me beautiful before and our situation isn't exactly easy, so I guess I just thought you said it in the heat of the moment." She sounded upset. "I'm sorry." I don't know why she apologized. "You have no reason to be sorry." I turned her so she was on her back and I was hovering over her.

"I would never lie about something as serious as that. Especially to you. I could never lie to you Y/N." I brushed some hair out of her face and she nuzzled into my hand. We couldn't stop our glossy eyes from staring at each other.

I'm not sure how but it felt like our lips were magnetic. They pulled us closer and closer to each other until they crashed together. We had tried kissing before in bed but that was so different. Before it was hot and steamy, with no emotion. This one was full of passion and desire, but not in a sexual way.

After our long, beautifully emotional kiss, I pulled back and we looked at each other with shock and what seemed to be the most intense feeling a human could experience.

"I love you. "

I said barely above a whisper. I wasn't afraid to say that anymore. I needed her to know, even if the feeling wasn't mutual. But her eyes softened. "I love you too Jay." She pulled my lips back into hers.

When we pulled apart I felt so much better knowing that she felt this way too.

"Will you go out with me?" My heart beat out of my chest as I waited for her answer but I had a feeling the odds were in my favor.

"Of course Jay!" I was right.

[jods-duplicitous-sluts]

Alecto the Ninth News

Part One

Alright friends. We are all chomping at the bit for any Alecto news at all. So here is what I've compiled from interviews, podcasts and AMAs. Sources are linked and screenshots have alt. text.

I've also included a little commentary or speculation on some points but ultimately that's not the focus of this collection.

Under the cut because I feel like it's going to get long.

So many screenshots, it turns out I'll have to split it into 3 posts.

If you enjoy this post please reblog so more people can see it!

Jump to part ■ Two of the post

Jump to part ■ Three of the post

I'm making this post on mobile, so forgive any wonkiness. Also tumblr ate this post once already *screams into the void*

• The book starts with Harrow in Hell. A reference to the Harrowing of Hell. Based on the presence of a porn mag I'd guess it's her own little river bubble inside Alecto but still just speculation.

Source: Tamsyn reads to us! Video with written description

• There is a wedding of some sort. Possibly other excuses to dress up the characters in formal ware. Some people have expressed concern that this was referencing the N- and C- wedding in Nona, but nope. We have confirmation that it is in book 4.

Source: Twitter

The next series of screenshots are all from the same tor.com interview: TM on Lyctorhood and Genderfuckery.

• This first one again confirms allusions to the harrowing of hell/ the decent of Christ. For those out of the loop the tldr:

The harrowing of hell is an Old English and Middle English term referring to the period of time between the Crucifixion of Jesus and his resurrection. In triumphant descent, Christ brought salvation to the souls held captive there since the beginning of the world.

A lot of speculation has gone on around about Harrow and her role in freeing the souls trapped in the river/reviving the river from whatever is poisoning it. [ *cough*JOD*cough*].

Also another reference towards formal outfits for the cast. So at least the wedding if not multiple formal functions.

• The question of Harrow and Gideon's souls will continue into Alecto. Looking forward to info on how enmeshed they've become and/or if they can be separated.

• I mean this quote is infamous by now. Which of our faves is it in reference to? All of them?

•I feel like we haven't seen enough about the differences between rebirth [a la Paul and Nona] vs Resurrection [Gideon/Harrow?! Someone else?] So while not a direct promise of anything in Alecto, I feel like the implication is there.

•The next two screenshots are about the Alecto cover, which is complete[the first from the above interview:]

•and the second is from an AMA from Aug. 5 2020

• The cover is definitely done since she was talking about it in 2020 and reaffirmed right before Nona’s release. I feel like they are waiting until they have a better idea of a publishing date before release. Maybe we'll get news in Q4 after the Nona paperback release and excitement dies down?

• From the same 2020 AMA. As this is pre-Nona, it could be possible that the heist mentioned deals with Gideon's body [either the Houses heisting it from BOE which happened off screen or the heist of Gideon's body from the barracks]. But I included it just in case that isn't what is being referenced.

• Same 2020 AMA: Again this could be covered in Nona as being what the John chapters were about, but also maybe not.

Source: TazMuir tumblr post from April 2020

• Another infamous quote at this point. Definitely feels like this is about the 'Third Most Toxic Polycule' of Harrow/Gideon/Ianthe and maybe Alecto is in this loop as well. With all the references to weddings and relationships I'm wondering who out of these four is marrying who...[maybe it's someone totally different, but my money is on someone in this situation]

Click to see part two!

[mirroredmemoriez]

Amanda Young style and fem whatnot thoughts

Once again here to speak my thoughts that nobody asked for because I love documenting my brain which I have to boot up like a chainsaw. I've spoken about Amanda's appearance before! Going over her outfits throughout the franchise and such and how I believe it kinda symbolises the stages she's at- I am in the firm belief her cutting her hair was almost like a rebirth for example.

However, right now I'm looking at the ''gender representation'' and stylisation side I guess? Which, I want to state- These are my opinions and thoughts and are by no way to say I'm like the only CORRECT view and anyone else's interpretation of Amanda that's different to mine is wrong, because I like seeing everyone's various takes on her character. With that said! I see Amanda as somebody who tries to be feminine, but can't express it truly how she wants? Down to factors such as she can't afford certain things like makeup accessories, and that she needs to have more of a practical wardrobe whilst being an apprentice. Oh! Also having to hide her identity at times. (I also want to slide in the fact that I don't think she's hyper feminine or masculine, honestly? She's just Amanda really, I wouldn't personally put a label on it when it comes to that.)

The first look we get of Amanda, she's in a way more revealing outfit than her future ones whilst working under John. This could just be her style, which to a certain degree I agree on... However there also could be an aspect of performative femininity, seeing as she's not ''reformed'' at this point and it's suggested in the Saw wiki that she has prostituted herself to be able to fund her drug addiction before. Basically, catering to the male gaze to get what she wants. She's wearing a cut off shirt which exposes her shoulders and collar area a lot, something we don't see again until Saw 3- And even then it's still not as cut off as the purple one. Amanda also has fishnets, a skirt and boots on. If I had to say how I view Amanda' style myself, I'd go with Hot Topic thief and or something alternative like ''grungy.'' We've also got the fact she has black nail polish on, eyeliner and more curled out hair- Even when she grows it back, it's not as wavy as it's seen here, so it's possible she's either just heavily dishevelled or she purposely has maybe curled it out a little. Once again, this could possibly be her trying to look more appealing to others by ''grooming'' herself better. However, I also think she wants to just for herself really.

Now, we've got her Saw X look, which to me is the most heavily influenced by John. Amanda has cut off her hair to I guess kinda a pixie-bob cut? A big leap from her previous haircut which had it falling at least over her shoulders if not longer. She's also very bare faced, with no heavily noticeable touches of makeup anywhere to be seen. Her clothes are drastically more practical than her previous outfit. A form fitting shirt, cargo pants and combat boots. The only influence I feel she has on this outfit is the choker and little earring. You can't really blame her for the change though- Amanda just wouldn't be putting time into something like beauty cosmetics or making any fashion statement when she's got shit to do... Y'know like make death traps and kidnap people, activities where the way you look doesn't matter and you wouldn't want your clothes to get caught on something especially.

Before I fully move on to her Saw 2 look, two honourable mentions! These both showcase the fact that nowadays, when Amanda is out and about, she's trying to hide her identity. She can't really draw any attention to herself and that is reflected in what she wears. The Scott Tibbs Documentary look has to be one of my favourites, I love the skull trousers so much and they are definitely something she wears because she likes the LOOK, not just because of ''simplicity.''

(Amanda has them on again in the deleted nightmare scene as well, so it's a recurring piece of her wardrobe.)

(I also think this is her dressing for herself- Compared to her outfits when it comes to the games and abductions)

The pig outfit, though I believe can be slightly stupid at times, due to the fact that it's probably less convenient than whipping on something like a balaclava with a hoodie and a bit more out there visually too- It still does it's main intended job, which is to conceal the identity of the Jigsaw apprentices. With the one I've selected above, this is when Amanda is going to abduct Adam, so obviously this is still pretty early in the timeline? We can see a re-appearance of smudged eye makeup like in her introduction.

TRYING TO GET BACK ON TRACK! Here we have her ''blue'' outfits as I dub them. I'm aware there is a time jump between them, however generally what I have to say for them is the exact same? We can see that Amanda is growing her hair out more and I would say these are very relaxed fits. Saw 2 Amanda has to be one of her most basic outfits I'd say, a plain blue shirt and blue sweatpants to go along with it.... The wiki feet people are going insane too.

WOOOOO! ON TO ANOTHER OF MY FAVOURITE OUTFITS. YOU JUST KNOW SHE STOLE THAT BELT FROM HOT TOPIC I AM SO SORRY! Saw 3 Amanda to me is a mix between something like her look in Saw X and then her look in Saw (2004)- I also love the contrast between it and the Saw 2 look, a blue vs red type feel almost? You're definitely more inclined to see Amanda as intimidating here than in blue. Comparisons aside, let's look at the actual fit this woman has on! Once again, she sports cargo pants with a belt to accompany and combat boots too. The shirt isn't as cut off as the purple one as I stated before, but it leaves a lot of her collar and back area exposed. It's her influence alongside John's- And her almost I wouldn't say rebelling? But defining herself outside of him. If I once again want to go full English teacher analysis... We could make the reach and say that her physically exposing herself is paired with how she emotionally is exposed as well. Her lowest points if you will. BUT! We'll move on from that so I can ramble about some other accessories. Amanda is wearing a gold ring and a watch, nothing too out there but I wanted to point them out seeing as I am covering the WHOLE outfit. Her hair is now at it's original length, once again reinforcing the fact she is almost reverting back to her old style but at the same time redefining it? Hair growth to show personal growth. (Some more honourable mentions.)

Here we have her dress, leather jacket and DBD concept art! First we'll look at the dress. It's honestly really cute to me- The ribbon around her neck just really makes it AMANDA, otherwise there isn't too much to say on the design outside of that and it's colour. Then moving on to the leather jacket, it's something I can definitely see her wearing a lot on top of her other outfits. OK! This is getting super fucking long now, I'll try and finish off soon- I have to say I love the DBD concept art and the in game designs too, I can 100% see where they've taken inspiration from with the outfits. I'm in firm belief Amanda deserves to have her arm sleeves so where they've combined that and the Saw 3 look is URHG YES. I also enjoy their take on her leather look, fleshed out the design more in my opinion. Anyway... If you've somehow gotten all the way down here? Jesus Christ, thanks I guess? I am someone who loves over analysing things and discussing characters/movies like this, so I just couldn't help myself anymore. Oh, and feel free to add on to any of this, whether you agree or disagree! MAL OUT

[gnomey22]

Failtopia Rarepairs

They're an odd thing to define. By raw statistics, literally every ship in this series is rare because none of them have a significant following - but that's not taking into account how popular they are within the fandom, relative to everything else.

Eribo, for an easy example, absolutely decimates everything else in terms of content, but if we compare it to every other ship in existence, its popularity doesn't stack up at all, despite it being the only possible ship that could theoretically stand a chance.

So, to determine what a Failtopia rarepair really is, let's establish three tiers of ship popularity, under the cut:

There are five primary ships in Failtopia, the big threes of both seasons in a Venn diagram. Failica and Roseyawn from S1, Eribo and Marion from S2, and Lanchi from both. Definitely not rarepairs, comparatively, because there is/was a large volume of people in the fandom on board with these.

Under every imaginable category are the proships I won't bother naming because obviously. Some of these weren't made with harmful intentions, a lot of character ages weren't confirmed back in the day, but they remain inconsiderable by every metric.

Everything in-between these two categories counts as a rarepair in my book. The fandom's too small to get much of any content out for these, and no, one person making a bunch of content for it doesn't count, most rare pairs originate from exactly that. It's an intensely respectable grind, but it doesn't change popularity statistics really.

Now, for the actual point of this post: Showing appreciation for some of them. There's too many to cover them all, so to avoid showing my personal biases, I put them all in a wheel and spun it five times, and below, are my thoughts on each of the five I got. That's a lie, I rerolled a few times because I got too many repeated characters, but still.

Friendboat (Failboat/Friend):

Never been a big fan of C!Fail ships, but as I've said before, this is the one I'd pick if I had to. There's definitely something here, Failboat being a wandering loser who keeps getting pushed into danger by forces he doesn't understand, with a Cleric behind him who knows those forces far better than him. Not to mention their dynamics with Hank, where he cast aside Friend and left them in disarray, while Failboat feels immense empathy for him even after his attempt on his life. Healing and light motifs all around, I like it.

Yawnbo (Pirahnyawn/Bo):

Okay, I know no-one ships this, but it theoretically exists, so it has to be on the list, and now I have to talk about it. Roseyawn was undoubtedly a thing in S1, that was never subtle, but they were also never a good relationship, with Yawn feeding into Rose's ego too much, and Rose never having the confidence to call Yawn out on his bullshit. Bo, on the other hand, has way less of an ego problem, but also has a lot more confidence. She could easily keep him in check, and who knows? Maybe he can learn a thing or two from her energy.

Chiko (Deko/Chi):

I think this is the most concentrated sunshine/grump dynamic you could possibly find in this fandom. Deko's whole character is being pummelled into the ground with trauma and depression, and folding as a result, while Chi transforms her just-as-tragic life into something magical, something enjoyable, with the flick of a wand, and a stupid grin on her face Deko would never match. But as we see in canon, they have a shared fondness for destruction inside them, and they would enable that side of each other so hard if they started dating. That's a fun dynamic.

Frose (Rose/Friend):

Therapy. This pairing would be one pure, concentrated therapy session. Both of them have been so fucked up by succumbing to divine forces, they've both had their personalities warped to places they never thought they were capable of, and neither of them fully hold up once their images are shattered - but at least they'd have someone else who went through much the same. Someone else who committed unimaginable sins in a simple attempt to please everyone, and who may be able to set them on a path to heal.

Boob (Simple Bob/Bo):

That is, in fact, the most logical combination of their names, nothing to see there. As for real talk, I think there's a demonic motif that could be played around with here. Bob dedicated his life to demon hunting, taking out genuine monsters who made the peaceful world of Miitopia dangerous for pretty much the first time, and Bo? She was literally an assassin, with access to sharp fans and hidden bombs. But not only was Mar her target, the man behind the demons Bob originally fought, but she's developed far past her dangerous state and embraced her demonhood as something to protect Miitopia with. Seeing each others' positions would bring about complicated feelings on either side, and that does pique my intrigue.

[joelsbeard]

guilty 2 say that i’m a little obsessed with ur hcs🫣 so i’m back with another requestttt

could i ask for hcs about the affect reader has on young!joel? like it can be anything from her physical to emotional aspects, i js wanna know how down bad you think he is for his girl yk😩

you are so nice 🥺 MORE HEADCANONS COMING UP YEEEEE

edit: i spent too long building up on how you and joel met lol so I will so another part to this to answer it a little better

part 2

My AU hc is that you and joel meet in hs and have sarah and ellie lol, and my canon divergent hc is that you meet joel after he has sarah and is raising her as a single dad (since it's such a defining moment/trait for him i guess) and then you have ellie together ❤️ so her and sarah are half sisters. Idk if i'll ever get around to writing hc's for the second one since I'd rather focus on you and joel meeting in hs and having sarah and ellie ❤️ lol also less heartbreak for my pookie.

ANYWAYS, you and joel meet in hs ❤️ and honestly you both fall for each other at the same time 🙈 so yall are just pining for each other lol.

AND everybody knows it and its so cute

You probably grew up with him or went to the same middle school at least, have definitely thought the other one was cute but didn't really act on it, and yall have dated other people (not a lot, but both of you have dated 1-2 other ppl at least)

After both of you are single in hs, you for some reason end up noticing each other more in the hallways and stuff

Then you have a class together and ITS ALL OVER 😈

It's like all of a sudden a switch turns on and you guys start crushing REAL bad on each other

You've been in the same group projects once or twice and every time you interact one of yall is alwayyyys blushing

Most people ship you guys (except for the jealous girls and guys smh) and both of your and his friends try to play matchmaker and get you two to go out lol

As I've previously mentioned before, i do not see joel miller as a player at all, so he probably does get a little nervous around you sometimes, however I also think he's got his moments where he's smooth as hell and the rizz the fuck out of you LMAOO (uh daddy??)

He got you like this in class 😍🙈😋🥰 fr

Okay but you honestly have the same effect on him

On multiple occasions you find yourselves looking at each other in class hehe, and when you make eye contact you guys are like 🤭

I will clarify though, he's not out here hardcore flirting with you or anything, i think he's a little too shy for that

Yall get butterflies in your stomach whenever you talk to each other, meanwhile both of your friends are trying to hype you both up being like "just go out with him/her!!!" and being like "he/she totally likes you!" or "Somebody told me that they have a crush on you 🙈" but yall are too shy/blind to see each other's feelings lol

EVENTUALLY you guys hang out a little, and afterwards he asks you on a date, and you guys are SMITTEN with each other from then on

Yall become that couple in hs that everyone loves lol, they think yall are so cute together

Yes you go to prom together lol (can you tell I'm american)

I think it'd be cliche for you to get pregnant with sarah on your prom night, i think that'd also be a little too early for canon (joel becomes a dad at 19, so his baby mama (you!!) must've gotten pregnant around 18/19, so that's typically your senior yr of hs or after you've graduated)

To be continued!!!!

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

So you've mentioned before that Zuko doesn't show any sexist behaviors but I'd like to point out a few scene just to see how you feel about them.

"You have quite the appitite for a girl." A very tropey sexist statement (which, yes, is played for laughs and I don't think he meant it as an insult but it does show that he has an idea of how girls either should be or usually are)

"Nice try Avatar, but these little girls can't save you." I can't really recall him ever saying anything similar about male warriors? I know there aren't really a lot of examples of male warriors that Zuko fights, but it still feels very,,, pointed and focused on the girls part.

"I'll save you from the pirates." "Looks like somebody found herself a master." These are both very patronizing lines that he says toward Katara, but he never says anything similar to Sokka or Aang (Aang I can dismiss bc he's just a prize, not an 'enemy', plus, Zuko tends to go for racist comments instead) or like, any other male, ever?

"I thought girls liked these kinds of things." Once again, is played for laughs at social ineptitude but again, shows a 'all girls are the same' mindset

Him picking at Ty Lee also felt very misogynistic to me? Like he was looking down of feminine behavior.

"What is with you?" As he is frusterated that Katara hasn't automatically forgiven him, yet to Aang he is very humble and genuinely tries to prove himself as well as accepting the lack of forgiveness as just due and offering himself as prisoner. Again, he just doesn't show the same amount of respect to Katara as he does to Aang or Sokka.

Like, any of these on their own, I could dismiss for one reason or another, but when the examples pile up it shows itself as a pattern of viewing women as intrinsically different from men, expectant of 'womanly behavior', dismissive of feminimity, and dismissive of female threats.

I love Zuko, but I definitely see this as one of his flaws and something he's got to get over along with the rest of the bullshit he was indoctrinated with. (Which is one reason I love his and Katara's friendship because like, if there was anyone who's Not Gonna Stand For That Shit, it's Katara ksbdjdnd)

Let me split the difference here

Not sexist, just an asshole

Zuko picked on Ty Lee because, much like IROH, she was a cheery person that was trying to get Zuko to lighten up or at least stop with all the unnecessary rage, angst and aggressiveness. We also see him get pissed at ALL OF HIS FRIENDS and physically attacking Aang in the finale because they're goofing around instead worrying about the war like he is.

When Zuko thinks happiness is not acceptable, he lashes out at any living thing. Boy literally snapped at a frog for not indulging in his angst to confront his current/former enemies and apologize to them. It's really not fair to act like he was picking on Ty Lee in particular, and that the ONLY reason for it was "girly girl" - especially when "The Beach" literally has Zuko himself reach the conclusion that he is lashing out at everyone else to deal with the fact that he's angry at HIMSELF, HIS actions, HIS doubts, HIS conflicting feelings. This is not about Ty Lee at all.

The same can be said about his entitlement to Katara's forgiveness. He offered to be the prisoner of ALL OF THEM when he was trying to make amends, and when they all rejected him, Katara very much included, he accept it.

Then Toph, Aang and Sokka all came around, forgived and befriended him. Everyone was chill with him. Everyone, except Katara. She was the odd one out, the constant reminder that it was not gonna be that easy to let the past stay in the past.

Zuko was trying his best to be a better person, but old habits die hard, and there was a person not doing what was more convenient for him, so he threw a tantrum. There is nothing special about that person being Katara, or any girl.

"Looks like somebody found herself a master" was also not at all about gender. Zuko mocked Aang for being "just a child" and for not having a father. He also humiliated Sokka in the first episode. OF COURSE he'd try to taunt Katara during fights.

And she DID get a master. We saw it happen. Aang was already a master of air (the element he used the most in fights), Sokka only got one in book 3. Their power-level remained the same, Katara's changed, right after she reached the North Pole, specifically to look for a waterbending master - for Aang, sure, but it's her element too, and Zuko KNOWS that she stole a scroll and used to teach herself. Zuko connecting the dots is not him assuming that a woman can only improve if she has the help of a man, it's just him having a brain.

He isn't mocking her for being a girl that needed to be taught by a man, he is mocking her for thinking she could defeat him, even after a power up - typical battle taunt, that Zuko engages in ALL the time, with basically every foe he goes up against.

And that also ties into:

Not sexist, just "Villain Talk"

Taunts like calling the Kyoshi Warriors "little girls" that can't protect the Avatar, or mocking Katara for finding herself in a situation of "damsel in distress" with the pirates, COULD reveal that Zuko is sexist and, much like Sokka and Pakku, didn't believe women could be competent fighters... if we didn't know him.

Zuko literally grew up with AZULA, someone who, in his own words, is a prodigy that is good at everything, does stuff with ease, and can be compared to the freaking Avatar. He and Iroh literally agree that it's less dangerous to risk it all traveling through the Earth Kingdom than risking being captured by her.

He never has any issue or doubt regarding Azula, Mai and Ty Lee as fighters. He doesn't throw a tantrum over needing June's help with his new plan to capture Aang. He SAYS he doesn't respect Katara as a fighter, but he's constantly in battle mode whenever he's around the any member of the Gaang, yes, even Katara, by herself.

Zuko, as a villain, says shit he doesn't mean ALL THE TIME. We see him use Ozai's line of "I'll teach you respect" against a member of his own crew, and say that the safety of said crew doesn't matter - and then go and save the guy's life. He says he'll give Zhao a scar, and doesn't do it even after Zhao tells him to AND calls him a coward.

Zuko thinks he needs to be aggressive, piss people off, and even be downright cruel, because that's what he was taught - but deep down that's not what he wants to be, nor what he already is. The same applies to his lines that imply he doesn't think women can be competent fighters. He knows that's not true, but he thinks he needs to act like that, to "play that role" because he literally was disfigured for NOT being cruel, for NOT treating people as disposable, for NOT wanting to fight, for NOT posturing as "macho", for NOT acting like he was better than everyone.

Sexist VS Sixteen/Clueless

"You have quite the appitite for a girl" and "I thought girls liked these kinds of things" feel, to me, like more of a result of Zuko being VERY clueless about social interactions and kind of relying on "tried and tested" stuff that most people around him tend to say/expect.

If you want to count that as being sexist instead of just said something sexist without meaning to, fine - but then it's time to revoke Katara's crown of "feminist queen." She was super happy when Toph joined the Gaang because she wanted someone to agree with her that some of Sokka and Aang's jokes/behaviors were immature and/or gross. TOPH. The character that is very clearly not all that feminine when she has a say on the matter and is the time to literally spit during a fight to show her disdain for the oponent, something Katara was already supposed to have learned two episoddes before.

And while you didn't mention that line, in the finale, when Zuko asks Katara to help him "put Azula in her place", Katara doesn't snap at him for supposedly being sexist (and I personally don't think this was about gender, just about their bitter rivalry and that idea that he can only truly succeed if she fails, and vice-versa) but a lot of the "Zuko is sexist" uses that as evidence, yet they never seem to care that, according to that interpretation of the scene, Katara is being complicit in Zuko's sexism towards his sister.

Oh, and Sokka, who was supposed to have unlearned sexism after the Kyoshi episode, told Aang not to answer to "twikle toes" because it wasn't manly. He also told him that, to win a girl over, you can't be too nice. It's played off for jokes and meant to make him look clueless, just like Zuko's scene with Jin.

If we're gonna call Zuko sexist for passing comments that are nowhere near as relevant as the way he is shown to consistently not treat women differently than he treats men, we're gonna have to do the same to every character - and reach the conclusion that even Katara is sexist.

Now, onto the inevitable question of:

"Does that mean the show itself is sexist?"

As some of you might have noticed, I tend to place "said something that can be taken as sexist" in a different category to "legitimately has sexist beliefs/behaviors on a very constant basis." I know that's not how everyone looks at these things, but I genuinely think it's the most accurate way to describe the nuances of it all.

I'd say Avatar is a show that has MOMENTS that could be seen as a little sexist, but overall it very clearly, and proudly, took the stance of "women deserve as much respect as men", and fully expected the audience to see the characters as equals, with the things like their genders not mattering to how one thinks of them. For that, I'd say it's unfair to label it as sexist just because of the odd questionable scene. It's taking the exceptions and trying to pass them off as the rule.

And I think the same logic applies to Zuko as a character. He has moments in which he might demonstrate some light sexism (or even intentionally fake sexism to piss someone off), but if you look at the real context and pattern, it's clear that even as a villain he never actually seem to treat women differently from men - it just so happens that when he was a bad guy he, naturally, wasn't used to treat people well. He was a jerk, but he was a jerk to EVERYBODY, all the time, no distinction made.

[shakespearefreak]

VHS Christmas Carols

The long-overdue promised update:

My mother took me to the show; I'd mentioned it to her without much hope, but I forgot that I'd shown her Twisted and Starship on YouTube and she'd really enjoyed both... anyway, it turns out that she's subscribed to their mailing list now, and had already been considering buying tickets for us before I said anything!!!

I could barely sleep the night before, so I got maybe 3 hours of sleep before waking up at 5:00 am so I could leave by 8:00 am (my mother doesn't drive into Chicago anymore, so we drove 1 ½ hours to a train station in IL and took the train for another 2 hours from there). I should have been exhausted, but I was far too excited, so I remained wide awake all day (thank goodness!).

It was wild how almost everything went right... we left my place late, but still got to the train station early; the train was frankly great in and of itself (I'd only ever ridden a train once before, as a kid, and I LOVE it so much, definitely the most comfortable form of travel I've ever taken); the restaurant we'd chosen to get lunch at before the show ended up being literally right next door to the theater, which we didn't know till we got there; the food was great, service was great, pricing was actually quite decent... like, before the show even started, everything went super smoothly.

When we got to the theater, we found out that the accessible seats I'd called in to reserve were actually basically front row (slightly to one side, but not even too much)! We had a great view, and the actors even kinda interacted with us a couple times!!! It was SO wild seeing the cast in person; I kept remembering that this was LIVE, the actors were RIGHT THERE, not on my computer screen, and being shocked and thrilled all over again.

The production was so stellar. My mother and I talked about it afterward, and neither of us could pick a favorite actor or scene. (The only thing we disagreed on was that I was a big fan of Meredith's Marley, and she was less enthusiastic about that particular scene.) Even in "Gift of the Magi," which has always been one of my least favorite Christmas stories, the portrayal of the main couple was just so heartfelt and charged with chemistry that I teared up a couple of times. I truly think StarKid's take helped me understand the moral a lot better than reading the original story.

The audience was really cool too, and everyone was super friendly. I spoke with someone who had been to ELEVEN(!) performances of VHSCC over the years, and when I went to compliment a kid with an amazing Ghost of Christmas Present cosplay, I noticed that their sibling was dressed as one of Wiggly's Sniggles from Black Friday!

I really wanted one of the handmade wooden ornaments that Meredith showed in her recent vlog, but apparently those all sold out in the first 10 minutes! Still, I got some cool merch: a Jacob Marley pin and a sticker sheet (which I used to decorate my phone case for the holidays). The merchandise was shockingly affordable, too... the metal pin was only $10!

The only thing that could have made it more perfect was if I'd gotten to meet the cast afterward, but they didn't do a stage door greeting (which is absolutely their right, but I am kinda sad I didn't get to meet them, especially Meredith, who I may be a teensy bit obsessed with after seeing her perform in person). Even so, on the train ride home, I kept wondering if I'd dreamed the whole thing, because it seemed too good to be true.

Oh, and not directly related to the show, but I feel like seeing the show gave me the courage to do these things: I used the Men's bathroom at the theater (I asked first — didn't wanna get kicked out — and they told me it was absolutely fine) and no one gave me a hard time; and on the drive back from the train station, I stood up to my mother about some stuff (she's kind of... very TERF-y, so some of it was about trans rights, and some of it was about Black people getting to dictate how they talk about racism and how someone can be prejudiced against White people, but not racist against White people), and I'm pretty dang proud of how I worded things, as well as that I kept my cool, because a lot of the time I find it hard not to lose my temper around her when we talk about certain subjects.

It was wonderful. Like, not perfect, because nothing is, but almost perfect. (That line from Happy Birthday, Addy! about an "almost-perfect day" kept playing in my mind that night in bed.) It was honestly one of the best days of my life thus far.

[jils-things]

after doing a round 2 of the game, with my sister with me last night - i have a more stable opinion on curly and this is what i think personally

curly can be easily defined as the leader and/or captain of the ship - captains are recruited based on their capabilities to steer everyone and themselves towards progress, or the right path... or the good way. the issue with curly is that he's a bit too generous and kind for a leader because he seems to be the type to give everyone a second chance, which is not necessarily a bad thing but you really have to pick the right people who should be given that chance. and the kind of chance that jimmy was given was way too... liberating for jimmy if you will.

curly is the type to suck up harsh words he receives just to let them have their chance, even if they're in the wrong - this is evident in the birthday sequence where jimmy is quick to criticize curly's "attempt" to be left in a more advantageous spot in his job - which of course is completely wrong and it's just jimmy trying to bash him to project his envy towards him. in fact, curly is even telling this ahead of the supposed time he would announce this (this was supposed to be announced once they're closer to their destination, which isn't ready yet) and i believe he said it because he is worried for his crew, he is very compassionate and he cares for how everyone is doing. it's not for himself. this is just one of his displays of his kind nature to others.

jimmy's friendship with curly is honestly a little... forced to me. i like to think that jimmy is some sort of criminal back in earth who was given a chance to "fix himself" by helping out in the tulpar, and he just so happens to be curly's friend. curly was probably happy that jimmy was "doing better as a freighter" and he wanted what's best for him. jimmy's anger towards curly was probably sustained by curly a lot of times because he believes jimmy is still in the road to "becoming a better man" and there's going to be some bumps here and there

which i now segue into the sequence where anya tells curly about what jimmy has done to her. i think popular belief (and myself included) thought that curly didnt think much of anya's struggle and just enabled jimmy's behavior like that. but after a conversation with my friend, she mentioned that he wasn't prepared for that outcome and he didn't know how to deal with it in that moment. put yourself in his shoes - how would you feel if your friend who was trusted to be in the process of "doing better", gets reported of misconduct? i wouldn't know what to do, and saying "ill talk to them" was just the least he could say in the moment, and he also wanted to believe that jimmy could be still redeemed so he was really conflicted. again, curly is a really kind person, but it's a bit too much that its going to do more worse than good

im sure deep down he definitely planned to do something better to help her - just not now. it's not worth starting conflict in a confined place, because you're stuck with the same people for a year... though his chance to "help anya" wouldn't happen because jimmy attempted to crashed the ship and thus caused curly to be disabled. and with his now, lost voice and mobility, he is unable to do anything to help anya and is now ironically, being taken care of by anya. so now because of his do-good habits, he now realizes he's carrying the burden of being too good to jimmy when he should've been more harsher to him and betrayed the one who trusted him (anya). and she's now caring for him. it's very ironic, and I'd understand anya if she felt upset for this. but even still, anya believed curly ("our worst moments doesnt have to make us monsters") and watched over him until she couldn't take it anymore with more events unravelling.

another example of curly's "i should've said something but I didn't" moment was when he should've complained to headquarters for including daisuke last minute to the tulpar. but he didn't complain

in other words, curly is a person who always aims to do good, but his methods (especially in this situation) wasn't handled as well as he hoped or decided it would be, and he rarely raises his voice to display strictness or concern which thus causes more chaos and struggles in the tulpar. he's very passive at times and if only he had spoken out ahead, things would've been handled much better. maybe not literally better, but at least he wouldn't have to be severely burned and left to lay on the medical bed forever and possibly even helped deliver justice for anya

i believe curly was sincerely sorry for not taking action sooner on her struggles, and that he was incredibly regrettable for being far too lenient on jimmy's behavior