#i'd absolutely fall prey to his charms

[ificouldhelpyouforget]

I miss Handsome Jack

[yearningaces]

Ok but the Hallewell!?!

Declan?!?!

He's so unhealthily attached I love some toxicity in fiction tbh

So his storyline is like medieval times, right? What if his heart ended up being a prince or princess or upper Nobility that couldn't usually marry commoners, you know?

What messed up method would he figure to be with his heart?? 👀

Ha

Haha

You think social rank stops him?

Tw: mass murder not detailed, death, parental death(as a possibility) blood not detailed

Hallewell are beast of nightmare, Declan is one who preys on humans with a greed of power. There's going to be ample targets within nobility for him to hunt down one by one.

When he realizes his Heart is the Queen's child, grown and of the age of courtships, he'll try to be proper... At first. Only because he wants his heart(who I'm calling you from this point cause that's the whole thing) to genuinely love him. He'll approach you the first chance he gets to see you alone. Either sneaking into a ball and finding you alone out in the gardens, trying to charm you among the flowers that tend to wilt just slightly when he breezes by... Or, what's more likely, is he'll just appear.

Probably when you're alone in the castle.

Walking down a dimly candle lit hall, most likely during a heavy storm so none can hear the sounds of his approach, and you'll hear footsteps behind you, approaching faster, the heavy fall of boots against polished stone flooring, you turn swiftly to see who has followed you and-

Nothing. A strike of lightning illuminated the dark hall through the windows, and truly there was nothing behind you.

So you turn to continue walking and almost bowl over a massive figure that's knelt before you on the ground.

A stranger, cloaked in black fabrics and leather armor, gloved hands held just under your own, softly opened, waiting to hold yours. Dark scruffy hair and stubble but the brightest gaze you've ever seen on anyone in your kingdom. Deep brown eyes that almost seem black in the dark hallway. You'd stumble back if you could, but at the motion, one large hand reaches forward, wrapping so so delicately around your lower leg, and his voice is a low rumble, an accent you cannot name-

"Step lightly, my heart. I'd hate to see you fall upon such harsh stone workings."

The hulking form before you speaks with a reference as he bows lower, carefully lifting your leg at the ankle, observing the detailed leather boot that had come unlaced somehow. He lowers himself further to dutifully tie the laces before just as gingerly placing your booted foot back on the ground with an enamored grin up to you, so very ecstatic to simply bask in your presence.

You can absolutely run away if you're uncomfortable. Declan would be hurt, but he'd follow, submissive the way a massive guard dog is. Loyal with a bite.

You could try for conversation and find this intimidating presence would crave nothing more than to sit at your feet while you rest in only the softest chair. Maybe you could even pet his head? He'd never argue if you don't want to though.

Point is, it's a fate bound meeting and I'm sorry regardless of your reaction you're forevermore stuck with this Hallewell. You can control your relationship, tell him how you view him and he'll lean into it 100% with no disappointment I mean all you have to do is look at him and he's so happy he could cry.

So take that

And then, if you care for your family, if you want things done properly, he'll try and ask for your hand or at least to court you, he'll ask the current king or queen since you're theirs.

"Your heir to the throne, I wish to court them, I wish to marry them, may I?"

If they agree? Wonderful! He'll stay his hand despite his instincts trembling with unadulterated rage at the amount of power hungry souls he ought reap in this castle. He'll redirect his attention towards fawning over and adoring you.

If they don't? Even better.

He wants a fight.

Declan is made for nothing but violence and loving you. And he is brand new to loving, but pain and hurt and violence is as familiar as breathing. He'll offer you a leash of his own making. Clip it to him and keep it tight lest he run rampant, unless you want that?

If he's refused your hand, especially if you actually do want him as well but he's barred due to social class and rank?

Declan is a creature made to kill, his prey is humans who's greed for power has grown past the point of correction. Do you know how many in nobility can fall so easily into that rank? So, he can do what he does best. He can kill.

He'll start with lower nobility, the easy pickings. Once that level has been swept clean in his eyes, he returns to the king and queen and ask again.

"Your heir to the throne, I wish to court them, I wish to marry them, may I?"

No.

He returns to mid level nobility, the killings are more brutal, more bloody, taking more time.

He returns to the king and queen to ask for your hand again.

"Your heir to the throne, I wish to court them, I wish to marry them, may I?"

This is his third time asking, and as everything comes in threes this is the last time he'll ask.

If it's no? The high level nobility is next. Tell him anyone you want spared because if you say nothing, none are spared. If they fall into his path of being too corrupt, too power hungry, too evil for redemption, which in a castle among royalty is rampant. When he feels he's made his point, he approaches the only two he's intentionally spared without you telling him to.

Declan doesn't come to the royal court, doesn't come with tidings of peace.

He comes with barely contained malice and hate

He appears in the king and queens bedchambers, fresh blood covering his form draped in darkness and what was once lifeblood. His eyes alight with the adrenaline of a life taken, his own life's purpose reinvigorated many times over. Declan stands at the foot of the queen and kings bed, watching them sleep. In his hand, a sword that's too dark to be steel, but too dark to be true steel.

For a moment he debates slaying both so none can come between you two... But to stay in your graces he waits. Instead, Declan draws his heavy boot back and kicks the bedframe, easily kicking off the corner leg, making the bed drop heavily, Jolting the sleeping pair awake. Once he has their attention, he asks again.

"Your heir to the throne, I wish to court them, I wish to marry them, may I?"

If he is told no a single more time, he will swiftly raise his sword that steams in the cold air as if pulled straight from the fires that forged it, and he will cut the head off of the one to refuse him. Amidst the fresh scent of blood and screaming of a freshly made widower, he will no longer ask, he will only inform.

"Your heir to the throne, I will court them. I will marry them. When they say the time is right, we will be together."

With this, he tips his head down, and leaves.

Let any try to stand between you at that point, he'll only slay any who attempt to do so

And if you hate him for it, that's fine! Hit him, strike him, hurt him, he'll accept it with a smile because it's you! He'll simply continue to follow you, hoping one day you'll allow him closer, he'll never force such a thing but would relish in the chance to be closer if only you allow it

[predvestnik]

@ccaptain asked:

   today it's the day. it's the day where he takes all of his bravery and puts it to good use.

   it's less about fear, and more about... well. 

   paralyzingly poor execution.

   Kaeya had planned to be smooth. it should have been easy- a few words with a charming smile, and a gesture that couldn't have been misurestood even if somebody- namely, Tartaglia- tried extremely hard to.

   and, instead of doing the simplest of things when it's time, he finds his face on fire and a slight tremor coursing through his fingers. he's... nervous? after a small assessment, he decides that it's just ridiculous- he has no need to be nervous. Childe won't eat him, or be upset by an unsteady approach.

   so, without a word on the matter from the other party, the flushed being that is Kaeya Alberich slides out from his chair to, instead, land in the ginger's lap.

   and then, all he can do is squeak out ' is-is this seat taken? ', high-pitched in such an embarassing way that his face, by now, wafts pure radioactive heat.

   congratulations, you cringefail man. you absolutely fumbled it.

Senses ever sharp, for little escapes the clutches of a hunter. Tartaglia may not seem like having his eyes on anything but his book, reports and anthologies splayed on the desk by where he sits, but each shift in the air around him rouses his perception centers. Like lightly brushing the whiskers of a cat, Kaeya's anxiety would've been noted despite his better efforts to prevent it.

A quick glance is spared, swift enough to be parsed by a spasm and long enough to allow a better assessment of the roots of so much tension. 𝙃𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜, the hunter concludes and it takes him much of his strength to cull a smile before it sinks into the corners of his mouth — it's not to be known that he's realized something is off, and so he resumes his reading as if playing by the other man's script while he, himself, rehearses his next move.

He's only a few words back into his texts before finally falling prey to Kaeya's snare. It's endearing, really, how much agitation precedes the fictionologist's more daring whims. If only he knew how utterly and willingly foolish Tartaglia is to his 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈, perhaps the one blessed by Mythus would forsake abashment to claim what is his by right. Until then, one can only fantasize, and hope, to one day be the safe haven where another may find it comfortable to consume and devour without doubts or meaningless restraints.

For now, he accepts to be he who perverts with hands that abandon his book over the desk and find way around Kaeya's waist. ❛ Were it, I'd make sure to dismiss any unwelcome occupants to make room for you exclusively. It's forever yours anyway, you know. ❜ His voice but a rumble against the shell of the other's ear, a casual drop, his face tilting downwards for the tip of his nose to nuzzle the same area, trail further south until lips and warm breath can hover over the nape of a neck.

         ❛ May I as well? ❜ Fingertips press gently on the flesh of Kaeya's hips as means to point the real target of Tartaglia's prodding for permission. They follow down the body's curves, the arch between forefinger and thumb fitting oh so perfectly in the space where the fictionologist's thighs connect to his hipbones before massaging along the rest of his muscles, down to his knees where they pause.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Caro's February 2023 Book Recs

February was supposedly romance month, but as always, that was... a skewed concept, lol. Nonetheless, I found a lot of books I did love--read my first Kleypas in over a year (and it was great), found new favorites like Jeannie Lin's The Dragon and The Pearl and Cat Sebastian's Unmasked by the Marquess, and hit several really, really good ARCs (one of which did in fact make me weep).

Anyway, check 'em out!

Then Came You by Lisa Kleypas. Lily Lawson is known as a scandalous virago--though nobody knows what drives her to distract herself with parties and flirting. When she discovers that her sister has been lovelessly betrothed to the cold Earl of Wolverton, Alex Raiford, Lily takes an instant dislike to the man and sets out to ruin the engagement. What she doesn't expect is that, for all that Alex hates her, he also wants her--and he'll do anything to have her.

I love Dreaming of You--and it's still my favorite Kleypas--but I'd never heard much about the preceding book. I've kept Then Came You on ice, waiting for a rainy day to read it. And Jesus, is it underrated. This is kind of a perfect enemies to lovers book of its era. She's wild; he's uptight; both of them are a lot more complicated than they initially seem; she has a good reason to want him out of her sister's life, least of all his clear lust for Lily herself. It's a bit wild, it's a bit outrageous, it did things that actually surprised me--and Alex and Lily's chemistry is priceless. I just love a book where a cold man is set on fire by a woman he absolutely despises. You can see the beginning foundations for Westcliff and Lillian over a decade later--and of course, you get Derek Craven: The Early Years. The ground was laid so well for Derek to fall in love in his own book. In many ways, these novels are kind of perfect companions? I love it, I love it, I love it. 90s-to early 2000s-era Kleypas just hits different.

The Wolf and The Wildflower by Stacy Reid. ARC; read the full review here.

Butterfly Swords by Jeannie Lin. Since her father unexpectedly ascended to the rank of Emperor, Ai Li's life has changed. But though she wishes to be obedient to her father, she can't marry the warlord Li Tao, who she suspects of treason--and of murdering her brother. Running from her wedding, she runs into trouble--and the mysterious foreigner, Ryam. Neither Ryam nor Ai Li are being completely honest with each other. Neither, however, has any choice but to continue...

This one was so well-written. I've always had a surface level interest in Tang Dynasty China, but I'm not, by any means, an expert--yet Lin transports you to the era. It's extremely rich, and frames a kind of old school, classic story about a rebellious princess and a traveling stranger. Ryam and Ai Li's romance is, in many ways, a lot purer than what I usually like (I mean, not sexually--to be clear, they are FUCKIN'). But they charmed me. And I mean. What a fantastic setup for the next book.

The Dragon and The Pearl by Jeannie Lin. After being rejected by the emperor's daughter, treacherous and powerful warlord Li Tao sets out to capture the previous emperor's most prized possession--famed courtesan Ling Suyin. Believing that Suyin has information he needs, Li Tao keeps her captive... but finds himself falling prey to her quiet, mysterious allure--and manipulations.

THIS SHIT WAS SO LIT. Villainous hero? Check--Li Tao has a clear menace and coldness about him. He's not over the top, but he's brutally efficient and ruthless. Heroine ready to wrap him around her little finger? Check. Suyin is innocent in some ways, but very much aware of the ways of the world in many others--and she's survived by becoming a master manipulator. The delicious thing about this dynamic is that he knows she's trying to play him--but he's too drawn to her to use his better judgment. This is one of those romances where both people clearly come to feel immense passion for each other, but are unable to say it aloud. They come together (and COME together) in bed, but they won't let themselves fully trust one another. Plus, there's the added bonus of them both being self-made legends in severely hierarchal systems. As renowned as he is, so is she. Because he's so rarely soft--the moments when he is fucking destroyed me. And she's just a wonderfully, quietly strong heroine. The plot is intricate and high stakes. It's just so good, y'all!

Unmasked by the Marquess by Cat Sebastian. Alistair, the Marquess of Pembroke, is upright, proper, and very aware of his reputation in light of his scandalous father's death. So he's disarmed by how easily he's drawn to Robert Selby, a young man who needs Alistair's help in finding his sister a husband. Alistair and Robert become fast friends--with perhaps more simmering under the surface. What Alistair doesn't know? Robert is Charity Church, a housemaid who feels much more at home in a man's clothes than she ever has a woman's--and is attempting to make up for what she perceives as a wrong done to a friend long ago. Charity can't quite resist Alistair; but even if he knew the truth of her identity, how could he possibly accept who she really is?

Another "much recommended classic book is very good" moment. To clarify, Robert/Charity is nonbinary and Cat Sebastian says that they're comfortable with the uses of she/her pronouns (which are used throughout the book, except for when Alistair thinks they're a man). Cat also discusses them using they/them, which is what I will use, as well as their chosen name of Robin, which is how they and Alistair primarily refer to them.

With that said, this is one of the rare friends to lovers romances that works, and oH DOES IT. Alistair and Robin get each other on every level--platonically, romantically, sexually--and it doesn't take long for Alistair to discover (or rather, just be told because honestly he's a bit dense) Robin's true identity. This allows Sebastian to get into the meat of their conflict, which, aside from various secrets Robin's kept for quite some time, is in Robin's identity and their need to express themselves... While also wanting to be with Alistair. The fact is that Robin can, if they make certain moves, theoretically live as a woman and as a marchioness--but for all that they care about Alistair, is that right? Does Alistair fully get how important Robin's identity and expression is to them? These are issues the book tackles without it feeling like a Very Special Episode ever--it's just a part of the conflict in their romance. There's not really any body dysmorphia in this book, which I appreciate; if that's handled well, then great, but it's not a part of every nonbinary person's story, and it's not really something Robin struggles with. The book's queerness is just front and center (Alistair is bisexual, knows this before the book begins, and though he fears outing, doesn't dwell on it much). On a very basic level, it's also just a funny, sexy book; the sex scenes are REAL GOOD, and are exactly the kind of scenes I want from friends to lovers; hardcore fucking with a side of laughter and affection and like... tender fondness. Anyway, I loved it, would recommend.

The Hunter by Monica McCarty. Ewen Lamont is the tracker of the Highland Guard, burdened with familial responsibility. He's caught off guard by a beautiful nun, however--and guilty about a near-miss moment they share. Until he finds out that the nun is actually not a nun at all, but Scottish courier (and former sister-in-law of Robert the Bruce) Janet of Mar. Bruce has a task for Ewen: to bring Janet safely home so that she can make a strategic marriage for the cause. The only problem? Janet very much wants Ewen--and she doesn't believe that he's not attracted to her.

Another really solid Highland Guard book even if it doesn't quite live up to the heights of The Recruit. There isn't quite as much keeping Ewen and Janet apart aside from what is in his head, but honestly... it works. In part because Janet is just so determined to have him. She's a dogged pursuer of a heroine (a type I have a soft spot for) and she does everything she can to break Ewen--asking him to help her undress, parading around in breeches, flirting with his friends, stripping naked when he suggests it just to freak her out... In many ways, this is a medieval roadtrip romance, and their back and forth is super fun and certainly sexy, with just the right amount of angst.

Highland Conquest by Heather McCollum. The four Sinclair brothers were raised by their insane father to act as the four horsemen of the apocalypse--united to conquer weaker Scottish clans and unite them under their rule. Following his father's death, Cain Sinclair becomes Chief, and his first order of business is to marry Ella Sutherland, the Sutherland chief and the woman responsible for the loss of his father. Ella doesn't come willingly, but as she and Cain enter into a battle of wills, she finds herself drawn to the one man whose sense of pride and determination to win matches her own...

If you're someone who needs enemies to lovers to mean bloodshed? This is for you. Cain and Ella literally kill each other's fathers--he gets hers before the beginning of the book, and she gets his in the first few pages. While both of them have admittedly insane fathers who deserved it (Cain's very literally believed his four sons are the four horsemen, and boy do these men have complexes about it) they still take it personally.. at first. This is a fast-paced, over the top read that isn't perfect (I think it could've gone a bit harder in terms of drama at points) but IS fun. I had a great time. It didn't make me think over-much, but it did give me the feelings, and I am about these loony brothers.

The Knight by Monica McCarty. James Douglas--known as "the Black Douglas"--is feared across Scotland and England for his brutal warfare in service of Robert the Bruce and his own ambitions. But to Joanna, who's known him since childhood, he's just her love, and the man who took her virginity. When James returns from war, she intends to tell him she's carrying his child, assuming that he'll happily marry her. But before she can, James makes it clear that he has no intention of marrying Joanna--just in keeping her as his mistress, a fate she can't tolerate. When they separate with James still in their dark about her secret, he's forced to make tough decisions about who he wants to be--and how much he values Joanna.

This novella covered a lot of shit in a short amount of time... and it's pretty different! James Douglas, Lord of Douglas, was a real person. I did in fact picture Aaron Taylor-Johnson, who played him in Outlaw King, the entire time (it was a good choice). I assume that since his wife is not listed on his wikipedia page there is some murkiness there... And I'm good with the way Monica McCarty played with history here. This is basically a classic "man does a good woman wrong, must grovel big time" book. A lot of this novella is groveling--and it should be, because James fucked this girl over. But just as he has to get his shit together, she has to get a backbone and become less innocent... and I'm a bit of a sucker for all that. Some probably read this and think what he did was unforgivable, and like. Sure. If you please. I found their story kind of touching and real, for all its dramatic medieval Scotland shit. Again, a lot happens in a little time--but I was here for the angst.

Something Spectacular by Alexis Hall. ARC; review to come at a later date.

Highland Warrior by Heather McCollum. This book sees self-proclaimed Horsemen of War Joshua Sinclair in Orkney, where he's ready to leave violence behind after a traumatic experience. However, after a wild night with the widowed Kara, he's drawn into conflict again--she wants Joshua to help her defend her village, suffering under tyranny. He's much less eager; but for Kara, he might not be able to resist.

This series is very old school, very pulpy, and just... fun. There's a lot of camp in this one--faked deaths, faked third testicles (yes), our hero getting dragged into being a total stranger's birthing partner... But I was actually super invested in Joshua and Kara as a couple through it all. They hook up early (like, a couple chapters in early) and catch feelings later, and I enjoy that. I also liked the dynamic of a quietly strong woman basically running roughshod over this douchebag of a hero. He's a simp, Your Honor. There's a real Western vibe to this one--a stranger rides into town and gets roped into protecting the people while falling in love with a headstrong single mother (whose child, thankfully, is largely offscreen and mostly serves to show Kara that Joshua is made of 100% Father Material). It's just... fun.

The Arrow by Monica McCarty. Gregor MacGregor is known for two things: being the best archer in Scotland, and being the most handsome man in Scotland. The former has made him an invaluable part of the Highland Guard, while the latter has earned him many obsessed women... Among them his ward, the orphaned Cate. But Cate claims that her feelings for Gregor go beyond infatuation, and despite their age difference and his sense of responsibility for her, she'll do anything to prove it. And he might not be able to resist.

This is definitely one of the riskier outings in the Highland Guard--McCarty tries for a lot of things that romance readers often hate. The obsessed heroine (a trope I love, and I frankly found Cate quite endearing), the resistant hero, That One Thing. Most of it worked for me. The resolution was a little too quick, but I loved Gregor trying and failing to hold out against Cate's onslaught of flirtation, how dirty that made him feel, her determination, how horny they both were... The conflict towards the end did feel a bit--I don't want to say contrived, but I think that if McCarty had moved up a lot of the action in this one about fifty pages earlier, it would've felt smoother. Nonetheless, my quibbles really didn't overpower what I enjoyed.

Before I Let Go by Kennedy Ryan. Josiah and Yasmen had what many considered the perfect marriage--until they didn't. Now, two years after their divorced, they're co-parenting their two children and running a business together. But as big milestones--like moving on and coming to terms with their grief--bring them back into each other's orbit, both Josiah and Yasmen have to wonder if their feelings for each other are totally gone... and if they're brave enough to try again.

Look, this one is a lot. Kennedy Ryan is a beautiful writer, and she does angst wonderfully--and there's a lot of angst in this one. It's a rather realistic romance. None of Josiah and Yasmin's issues are easily fixed. Both of them have fucked up. They dealt with problems that are not their fault and happen to everyone (heads up: they lost a parental figure to both of them and experienced a stillbirth in rapid succession). This is not a light romance. But it is a hopeful one, and if you like second chances--you'll love this. You just want the best for these two, and the best is in fact each other.

Something Fabulous by Alexis Hall. Valentine, the Duke of Malvern, is in a bind when the woman he's planned to marry since their fathers arranged it when they were children, Arabella Tarleton, goes on the run. Arabella has no desire to marry Valentine, but he's determined to do his duty, and is enlisted by her twin, the sunny and carefree Bonaventure "Bonny", to find her. As Valentine and Bonny go on a madcap race through the English countryside together, stiff Valentine finds himself confronted by Arabella's erstwhile admirers, a pair of protective sapphic women, and his own growing fascination with bee-loving, pleasure-seeking, totally-wrong-for-him... Bonny.

Alexis Hall has such a strong voice--whimsical, romantic, hilarious, witty as fuck. And I love it. While Something Spectacular is also funny, it has an air of past tragedy and a bit more angst, whereas this is more firmly a romcom. A romcom with its own dash of drama, but I did quite literally laugh out loud during the reading experience. Valentine and Bonny are the perfect grumpy/sunshine dynamic, and watching them fall in love was pure joy. Even if Arabella is... a lot. She's a plot-instigating lot, so I'm good with it.

The Raider by Monica McCarty. Robbie "Raider" Boyd was imprisoned by the English, and the only way he was able to escape was with the help of the teenage noblewoman who helped him. Six years later, he's taken her hostage--the beautiful Rosalin Clifford. And he wants revenge on the English for everything they've done to his family--the weight of which is devastating--but he also simply... wants Rosalin. A relationship between one of Robert the Bruce's most prized warriors and an English lady is impossible. But neither Robbie nor Rosalin seem capable of remembering it.

A good old-fashioned enemies to lovers warrior/lady romance. It felt hotter than some of the other Highland Guard books--there's a scene against a pole that is... a lot. I'll admit that there's a back and forth that McCarty falls into in some of these books; "we can't be together"/"but sir I want to"/"no little girl" (fucks). It's pleasing, but it is noticeable, especially in the past few I've read. I think I prefer some of the earlier entries, or those without a virgin heroine, which the past few I've read have... always had. But that's kind of the thing with a long-running series, and the beats here are still very enjoyable, and if you're looking for escapism... This is it. The next one I'm reading is marriage in trouble, though, and after four virgin heroines in a row in this series, I'm ready for a changeup.

End of Story by Kylie Scott. Stinging from a bad breakup, Susie seeks respite in the house left to her by her aunt. Until, that is, the contractor sent to help her renovate is Lars, her ex's best friend. And stranger still? They find a divorce certificate in the wall of the house... one dated ten years in the future, with Lars and Susie's names on it. Though initially combative, Lars and Susie become close friends, with a simmer tension between them. But what's the point of taking a chance on a relationship that may be doomed to end?

Kylie Scott is one of my favorite contemporary romance novelists, and she gives all of her trademarks here--hot sex scenes, a sparkling sense of humor, and amazing sexual tension. Lars and Susie sell friends to lovers amazingly, which is hard for me. Additionally, there's a charming sense of magic and witchiness to this. Don't expect answers about where that comes from--that's not the point. However, enjoy the vibes, the heat, and the sweetness. I had some questions about choices made, but they weren't dealbreakers. This would make a great romcom onscreen.

The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by K.J. Charles. ARC; get my full take here.

A Rogue's Rules for Seduction by Eva Leigh. ARC; review to come closer to publication.

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At the Time by Kylie Scott. Seven years ago, Adele was "exiled" by her father after her attempted seduction of his best friend and business partner, Pete. Now, with bridges mended with her father--and still very much broken with Pete, fifteen years her senior--she's back in town for a wedding, and tension with the man she idolized as a teenager has never been thicker. Making nice for a few days should be enough--but Adele and Pete might be tempted to go a bit further than that...

If you're not into age gap romances, this isn't for you. Though Pete never approached or encouraged Adele when she was underage, they met when she was sixteen, and she certainly wasn't shy about flirting with him. We get flashbacks telling their history, but the bulk of the story takes place in the present, when she's twenty-five and he's forty. It's classic Kylie Scott--funny, sexy, with a guy who doesn't know how to feel his feelings and a girl who's a bit too dickmatized to notice... until she does. I compared this a bit to Deep, a book that had similar elements (an age gap, though less significant than this one, among... other things) and I do feel like Deep goes a bit... well, deeper. But I had a lot of fun with this, and it gave me pretty much everything I wanted out of a "dating daddy's best friend" book. Including spanking.

[feztooth]

The Fall

When Leo saw Zoey, he knew it must be destiny. She was dressed in all black, had long, curly black hair, and was armed to the teeth. Leo had seen her sneaking up behind him of course, but the sight of her left him stunned! Which was unfortunate, since she now had a knife to his throat.

“Alright buddy, give me all you’ve got and nobody gets hurt,” she said.

“Okay, okay, easy there. Here, take it.” said Leo, taking out his wallet and giving it to the lady. I wonder if this would be a good time to ask her for her number?

You see, Leo was not only an idiot - he is also a hopeless romantic. No matter how many times he got turned down, he never gave up on love. Sadly, it doesn’t look like Leo will get a chance with Zoey, as he watched her flee into the night. Dejected, Leo hung his head and began the long walk home. Until a moment later, when Zoey came sprinting back, right past Leo and towards the opposite direction.

“Wonder what got into her?” Leo wondered out loud.

He found out a couple seconds later when a large man meandered into sight. He was wearing a hockey mask that was splattered with blood, and the machete in his hand was dripping something onto the floor. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what it was. After the government collapsed, society has descended into chaos, and going out at night was a gamble few took. Of course, Leo knew this. As the man in the mask came closer, he couldn't help but chuckle to himself.

“Perfect! I was having just the worst night, but luckily you're here now!” he said to the man as he drew a large buffalo knife, previously strapped to his thigh. “The perfect target to take all of my... frustrations.” The man halted in his tracks, now facing a rather large, armed man rather than a fleeing woman. Now it was Leo advancing, tossing the knife from hand to hand.

“N-now hang on a second,” said the man, taking off his mask and slowly backing away, his eyes growing wide with recognition and fear. “Y-you’re Leo! Listen man, I don’t even want to be a part of their gang! They forced me! Just let me go, I won’t even tell the boss I saw you.”

“Nope, thanks for the option though!” said Leo, now less than five feet away. His eyes narrowed as he closed in on his prey. “You hockey-masked losers took everything from me.”

Before the man could even try to run, he tripped over some debris while backing up and went sprawling. Leo pounced and it was over before the man could even cry out, Leo's knife carving through him like a Christmas ham. While cleaning his knife on the dead man, Leo heard loud banging behind him, followed by a string of curses. He turned to see that Zoey had somehow gotten tangled up in a bunch of trash cans. Apparently she had stuck around to watch, which gave Leo some hope. Maybe this girl was finally the one!

“Hey over there!” said Leo. “I’m afraid I never got your name. Mine’s Leo. Need any help?”

“Stay away from me or I’ll kill you!” Zoey shouted in response, flailing her knife with one hand and extracting herself from trash with the other. “I mean it, stay back!”

“Alright, suit yourself,” Leo said with a shrug, sitting down on his victim. “I’ll just stay over here, and you can chill out in that trash.”

And that’s exactly what would have happened, except at that moment a group of men in hockey masks rounded the corner. “Oh shit!” one of them said when they saw the dead man Leo was sitting on. “This fucker killed Jerry!”

Before he was finished speaking, Leo was already up and running. He could handle a couple goons, but eleven of them? Leo's a nutjob, but he's not suicidal. Zoey was soon running beside him as the gang of hockey-masked lunatics chased close behind.

“Hey,” said Leo with a cheesy wink. "Third times the charm? C'mon, give me a chance! I mean don't get me wrong, our first date is going great, but I'd love it so much if you gave me your name. Maybe next time we can get coffee or something?"

“Absolutely not!” huffed Zoey between breathes. “I make it a point never to hang around too long with sociopaths.”

“Jeez, go easy on me! Besides, I seem to remember you being the one who mugged me earlier.”

“Yea, but I’m no murderer. And you even killed one of those masked freaks! Kill one and the rest bring the hammer down on you. How could you live here and not even know that?”

“Oh! Don't worry, I did know that!” said Leo. “I just don’t particularly care. They have taken something very precious from me, and they shall pay.”

“Ooo, very dark and ominous,” said Zoey, rolling her eyes. “Let me guess, now I’ve offended you by rejecting your creepy ass, so now I have to die too. This night just keeps getting better and better.”

“No no no!” said Leo. “I'd never hurt you. Besides, you simply haven't seen the light of reason yet. Just look a little closer, and I'm confident you’d realize that you and I are perfect for each other!”

“I seriously can’t believe this is happening to me right now. A murderer is smooth talking me while we flee for our lives. I don't want your help! I'm not some damsel in distress, waiting for you to sweep me off my feet!” said Zoey.

“Well, in my defense, you are in a little bit of distress right now,” said Leo. “You seem to be running a little short on breath. If you like, we can take a short-cut and make this date a little more... private.”

The eyebrow wag that accompanied that statement made Zoey want to gag, she didn’t trust this man, and this certainly wasn’t a date, but he was right. She'd been sprinting as fast as she could, but they had not lost the gang. Leo on the other hand looked like he could keep running like this for hours. Well, maybe not hours, but certainly longer than Zoey could.

“Alright,” she said between gasps. “Lead away.”

Leo took Zoey’s hand and darted to an alley off to the right. He vaulted up a wall and grabbed on to a balcony overhead. He helped Zoey up, and soon the two were jumping from building to building, with the gang of thugs shouting curses at them from the street below.

“Would you look at that, it’s a full moon!” cried Leo. “This is just perfect. A moonlit date on the rooftops with the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes upon. Is there a man on this Earth luckier than I?”

Zoey just rolled her eyes and focused on running. She’d have to come up with a way to escape from Leo later. Right now, all that mattered was putting as much distance between her and the mob below.

After about ten minutes later, Leo slowed to a stop.

“So, what shall we do now? Is there somewhere I can escort you to before taking my leave?” he asked after Zoey had caught her breathe.

“Leave? What do you mean?” asked Zoey. She had been prepared to fight tooth and nail to get away from this freak, and now he was just going to let her walk away?

“What can I say? It’s been a fun night, but ol’ Leo isn't known for putting out on the first date! But you do have a point. How could I leave without determining when our next date will be? How’s Friday work for you?”

Zoey was taken aback. Dear lord, is this man actually serious? Should I play along or risk him getting angry with me? What’s more dangerous, upsetting him or playing along with his little fantasy?

“You know what, I can tell you're frazzled from the night. You’re not ready to say when yet, maybe a little scared of commitment but that's fine. I’ll just swing by next week and see what you think then. Ciao!”

----------------

And with that, he was gone. Zoey just stood there, not knowing what she should do. She was safe for now, but who knows what Leo would do next?

I can’t just sit here. I have to find out more about him, see how much a threat he is. I can’t have him showing up to my house, he’s too dangerous. Plus, I have no idea where I am right now.

And with that, Zoey began to follow Leo. It wasn’t hard; the man didn’t seem to have a care in the world. He whistled as he went, his blond hair bouncing with the actual pep in his step. How someone like him could exist in this world, Zoey had no idea. Then she remembered how he had killed a man not even an hour ago. How could he do that? Soon, Zoey became aware of a fire in the distance. Leo hadn’t seen it yet, but he seemed to be walking towards it. When it finally came into his line of sight, he stopped skipping and started running. Zoey had a choice: either start running and break her cover or lose him. She ran.

----------------

As Leo neared the burning house, he felt equal parts dread and joy. On one hand, he had really liked this house. On the other hand, only one person could have done this. Only one person knew he lived there, and if he hurried she may even still be there. The thought of seeing Amy again was exhilarating, and Leo ran faster and faster towards his home. He turned the corner and there she was, outlined in crimson flames.

“Ah, Leo, you saw my little smoke signal. It’s so nice to see you!” said Amy.

“Amy! It’s been too long, I-”

“Now stop right there. If you think I came here just to see you you’re even more of a fool than I thought.”

“You didn’t?” said Leo, more than a little hurt.

“No. Did you really think you could kill some of my boys without me knowing it was you? You’re not exactly inconspicuous.”

Amy whistled, and one by one men in hockey masks appeared from the shadows. They had Leo completely surrounded, but the man only had eyes for Amy.

“But Amy,” he said. “I did it for you! They’re holding you back, clouding your judgement. I was helping!”

“How would killing my minions help me, Leo?!?!”

“Well, I just figured if I got all these losers out of the way we could be together again. You know, just like old times.”

"You’re delusional,” said Amy. “Now, before you die, were you alone, or did you have help? Cus if I kill you and more of my men keep dying, there’s gunna be hell to pay.”

Leo look deflated, but he still answered her question. “Naw, it was all me. I even kept track. It was twenty-eight.”

“What?!" Amy exploded, surprise and rage both evident on her face. "I only heard of you getting involved like, a week ago! What do you mean twenty-eight? We only know about seven!!!”

Leo shrugged. “I was a bit more careful at first. I figured our breakup was too recent and you might not want to see me, so I made it look like they died for some other reason. I thought you were ready to move on and let bygones be bygones, but clearly not.”

“Leo, it’s been a year! I left you because you’re psychotic, and if anything you’ve only gotten worse since the government fell. Boys, kill him!”

The men in masks began to close in on Leo, but he did nothing. He just sat, staring at Amy with a look of defeat on his face. Zoey had watched the whole transaction and desperately wanted to leave, but Leo had saved her life. She hated to be in anyone’s debt, especially a dead man. She snuck up behind the man closest to her and stuck her knife into him, right in the small of his back. He cried out and spun around, swinging his machete in a wide arc, but Zoey was already gone. The rest of the group turned to see what was going on, and when Leo saw her his face lit up.

“Oh hey! It’s you! Mystery Beautiful Girl! That's what I've been calling you in my head, since I never caught your name,” said Leo.

“I’ll tell you if we get out of this alive!” she yelled behind her and ran for the hills.

Leo leapt into action, once again whipping out his knife and flinging himself at the man between him and Zoey. Amy screamed in rage as she watched another of her cronies die. He slashed at another two that got too close and quickly chased after Zoey. He was running at full speed when something caught his foot and sent him flying into a nearby empty food stand.

“Sorry!” said Zoey from a small road off to the side. “I didn’t know how else to stop you, you were running so fast . Come on, through here!”

Leo quickly joined her, and moments later the mob went running by. Once he was sure they were gone, Leo turned excitedly towards Zoey.

“So, what is it?”

“What is what?”

“Your name!”

“Oh, right. It’s Zoey. Now don’t go getting the wrong idea here. I only came to help you because you saved my life earlier.”

“Oh right, right. No matter, you’ll come around eventually. So what did you think of my ex? She used to be pretty cool, but now we just don’t see eye to eye for some reason.”

“Yeah that’s some mystery you have there. You two seem good for each other.”

“You really think so? Thanks!” Lea responded dreamily, with a big dopey smile on his face. “But since she’s still being a loser, let’s just focus on us for now. Did you think of when our next date should be?

"What? No!!” said Zoey. “I followed you mostly because you dropped me off in some random roof and I didn’t know what else to do!”

“Oh. Sorry for that, but I did offer to walk you home. Anyway, if Friday is no good, how’s Saturday? Full disclosure, I don’t really have anything to do anymore, so I’m basically always free.”

Zoey took a moment to think of her response. Leo didn’t seem like that bad a guy, other than all the maiming and killing. Sure, she still didn’t want to go on a date with him, but maybe having him as a friend wouldn’t be too bad. In this city, you need all the help you can get.

“Listen Leo,” she said. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but I don’t want to go on a date with you. Ever. Sorry.”

“Oh." said Leo dejectedly. "Well why didn’t you just say so? In that case, see ya!”

“Wait,” said Zoey. “That’s it? It was that easy? I thought you were going to kill me or something if I rejected you.”

“Now why on earth would I do that? That’s a bit of an overreaction if you ask me. No, I’m just going to go sulk in my burned down house and try to get over another heart-break. Or I guess two, if you count Amy as well. So, once again, see ya.”

Wow, that was really sad, Zoey thought to herself as Leo walked away. I actually feel bad for the guy. Well, at least I don’t have to worry about him anymore.

As Zoey turned to leave, she realized that she still didn’t know where the hell she was, or how to get home. Alone at night in an unfamiliar place, with danger around every literal corner, she didn’t really have any choice but to chase after Leo and ask for his help. His silhouette was already far into the distance, so Zoey began to run in order to catch up with him. Before she could more than five feet, she felt an explosion of pain in the back of her head. Her body kept moving while her head stopped, and next thing she knew she was lying on her back looking up at the girl from earlier, who was clutching her hair.

“Why hello there,” said Amy. “You must be Leo’s little friend. I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.”

“What do you want from me?” said Zoey, her head still aching.

“Oh, nothing really. It’s just that I was all set up to get rid of a major thorn in my side by killing Leo, and then you came by and ruined it all!" Amy screamed into her face. "And to top it off, you caused another of my two beloved minions to die. Leo will probably be moping around for a while, and now that I know which of his safehouses he’s staying at, it’ll be easy to finish off. So, I figured I’d get the hard part out of the way and kill you first.”

Without waiting another moment, Amy plunged a knife into Zoey’s chest. It took Zoey a couple seconds to realize what happened. She looked down at the knife as she slumped to the ground. This wasn't right, was it? This wasn't how it's supposed to end! The villain is supposed to monologue, then the heroine makes a miraculous escape! So why was Zoey's vision getting blurry? What's this sticky stuff on her hands? Amy's laughter trickled in through Zoey's ears as the world faded to black.

Wait. Before losing consciousness, Zoey had a moment of clarity. So I’m dying. Damn. That sucks. But, she said she’s going to kill Leo too. Dammit, I hate to admit it but I kinda liked that sonuvabitch. He’s funny. I can save him. And more importantly, I can still get revenge on this she-devil.

She opened her eyes to see Amy had her back to her. Zoey struggled to her knees coughing blood and feeling absolutely miserable. Amy turned around with a look of confusion on her face.

“Wha-? What the hell? Shouldn’t you be dying or something? I've got things to do.”

Zoey drew one of her knives and threw it, as she had hundreds of times before. Of course, that was always at a wall or something, never a person. And also when she was not dying from a gaping wound in her chest. And yet, the knife flew true, sticking right between Amy’s eyes. Amy briefly looked at the knife in disbelief before crumpling to the ground. Zoey leaned on the wall and eased herself to a sitting position. She looked up at the stars and sighed.

Leo was right, it really is a beautiful night. Full moon and everything. I had a feeling that bastard would be the death of me. With her head clear and her eyes full of stars, Zoey took in her final breath.

----------------

Two weeks later, Leo wanders the city aimlessly. He hadn’t been able to find Zoey again, and there has been no sign of Amy or her gang whatsoever. A man without a purpose, nowadays he just gets into fights with random strangers. That is, until he saw Teresa. She was tall and had short black hair. She was also the middle of a drinking contest with a man double her size. She finished her mug as the man passed out, then asked for another round. My god, she’s perfect, thought Leo. This must be destiny.

[finniestoncrane]

Do u have like a ranking of the characters starting from your fav

oh gosh like as in the rogues (i hope so because that's what i'm doing now)??? i like a very specific set of rogues (although it gets bigger every day lmao) but you asked for it so i will not PUNISH YOU in ways you never even thought possible by rambling on for quite some time 💚 so anyway feel free to suggest new rogues to me or try to change my mind because i listed rogues i don't care for and ones i wanna fall in love with too u-u

ok let's start off nice and easy by saying i don't like catwoman. i find her hard to read, she's cold, she's mean and i she would make me cry. i hate her. and i also hate ra's al ghul god damn.

ANYWAY ON TO THE GOOD STUFF

Number One: The Riddler

my beloved disgusting green man 💚 there hasn't been a riddler i've met yet who i wouldn't kiss on the head and then fuck hard and long like i am obsessed with every iteration of him. you want me to rank them, i can't, but please know that arkham and capullo are up at the top fighting each other (shirtless, covered in oil, maybe kissing too i dunno, maybe not just shirtless either maybe we're talking just hanging dong, bouncing around all over the place, rubbing against each other I GOT SO DISTRACTED HOLY SHIT LMAO)

Number Two: The Penguin

just something about a silly little guy with a silly little smile and a silly little tummy that does it for me. this is very specific to farrell and gotham penguins but honestly, i've just finished reading one bad day and i'd fuck him too 💜

Number Three: Scarecrow

i want him so bad you don't even know, like i want jonathan crane to read me a book, then fuckin fear toxin me and then i want scarebeast to rail me sorry but i'm also not sorry. he also just seems like such a nice man which don't even come at me

Number Four: Two Face

such a handsome, handsome, charming, well-dressed man battling his inner (outer) demons like??? what more could you really ask for??? get you a man who can do both, be super smart and cutie and also absolutely unhinged and hot

Number Five: Harley Quinn

i struggled ranking ivy and harley but ultimately she's so cute and bubbly and fun and i want her to squish my cheeks and let me touch her butt, like i don't like margot robbie something about her bugs me but i still loved birds of prey, that's the lure of harley ;-;

Number Six: Poison Ivy

yeah yeah ivy is hot everyone knows it, yes cool eco-terrorism sure thing, but ok so also while we're here, fat ivy. fat ivy fat ivy fat ivy. i would sell my fucking organs to fill my grabby little hands with her body >:(

Number Seven: Victor Zsasz

love you chihuahua man u-u mostly gotham zsasz because he radiates mischief, just a cheeky lil guy, visiting his bub and getting ice cream with his pals, and he's so funny???

Number Eight: Victor Freeze

freeze gets to be ranked on my list PURELY because he's a mad scientist, he's nice to his wife (romantic what????) and MOSTLY because of that one shot of nathan darrows in gotham with the low-rise fucking trousers like good LORD in heaven the stranglehold that has on my clit you wouldn't believe

honourable mentions of rogues i kinda fuck with but not enough to rate or rank yet:

black mask, but absolutely the fuck not ewan mcgregor

mad hatter, i want to love you

joker, i hate him but i want to fuck him sometimes it's complicated

bane

professor pyg

hugo strange

solomon grundy

rogues i want to fuck with in future:

clock king

music meister

huntress

the creeper

batmite (what the fuck is he i love him???)

jeremiah arkham

flamingo

cluemaster

calendarman

firefly

hush

rogues i know but don't give a fuck about:

killer croc

manbat

clayface

killer moth

king shark (except i wanted to fuck him in assualt on arkham)

[archvillain]

Kyouraku and Ukitake for the character bingo please! (btw I'm absolutely in love with your Mayuri art)

omg teehee thank you for looking at it -//w//-(\ lessgooooo

starting with the obvious:

they are so cool looking: kyoraku is hot, ok? he's just a handsome guy. he's got everything in the world going for him and i'd probably fall prey to his wiles... i do wish kubo would've made more outfits for him, though, he really looks good in everything

they work better as part of a dynamic: with ukitake, kyoraku is a wonderful character. i looooved the regai filler with the evil gay clones fighting closely in sync and checking in on each other constantly. that being said, while kyoraku can stand on his own as a character, i feel like he just does better with a straight man to riff off...

nothing i like about them is technically canon: ...which is why him letting ukitake slip through his fingers with little fanfare rubs me the wrong fucking way. i get it; kyoraku is a self-sabotaging pity party on two legs at the worst of times, & he's always scummy and a little sneaky, but damn, that would've been an excellent place for fanfare that just got passed up. -_- that was your husband, dude! you just let him die & go to hell! this would be a radically different anime if he was the main character. it'd be a LOT gayer

they are a horrible person: kyoraku's vibes are rancid, almost as bad as isshin's (but not quite). the way he seamlessly blends the trope of "embarrassingly drunk uncle who can chess you under the table" and "creep hitting on you at a bar" in a way that's somehow both charming and loveable... this guy gives me iroh vibes something fierce i wish his backup straight man waifu was not his FUCKING niece however!!! kubo's obsession with fucked up relationships makes bleach so so interesting but the way kyoraku treats her is downright insane. the way that she never even seems to know that he's her uncle... imagine finding out your scumbag man baby of a boss is actually your BLOOD RELATIVE. EUGH

(a lot of this creep factor comes from the extra-canon omake collection from color bleach. the anime goes lighter on it! which is funny, because the anime's filler is MORE incesty with diff characters than the manga in places...)

they're like a blorbo to me: ....i still wuv him tho <3 i hemmed and haw'd about "deeper than they seem" and "not as deep as they seem" but i think all his depth is basically canon text. his depth is actually something i love about him

(climbs up the side of my soapbox with a knife in my teeth) im coming for you jushiro ukitake you son of a BITCH--

they're cool looking: he is so pretty. just getting that out of the way

they got done DIRTY by fans/everybody but me is wrong about them <3: since ukitake is basically what i'd like to call the ambassador of the bastards, the nicest cop in the regime, the poster boy for good boy did nothing wrong. he gets a reputation for being a saint. and that is both in canon and fanon! there's a LOT of angel fluff on this boy, because being the best of the worst still has to count for something? right?

wow! they are a horrible person: AND THEN THERE'S KAIEN'S DEATH. the way that ukitake stakes honor over life, the way that he lets rukia burden herself with the sole ownership of his death to the point that she feels like she deserves death for it... this man is both doing the most and also never ever doing enough. he practically orders kaien's death in the most sinister flashback, and then is never held accountable, leaving rukia to hold herself accountable instead... not to mention the way that he insists on sheltering his underlings & being kind and respectful and honorable, while coexisting like ROYAL GRADE A FREAKS like MAYURI KUROTSUCHI, and seemingly never noticing the blood on the hands of the system he upholds!!!!

wasted potential: this makes him SO INTERESTING. i wish i could crack him open and read his bones like tea leaves. his flaws make him so much more interesting than the candy floss man he tries to present himself as, but then he dies in a really predictable and unhelpful way, which is absolutely fucking tragic, but it doesn't really go anywhere.... gah!!! i have high hopes for this to change in the hell arc, but not... that high

not as deep as they seem/they got too much screen time: in spite of all of this deliciously interesting flawed material sitting seemingly just beneath the surface, ukitake then goes on to become Nice Guy: The Husband for a lot of his appearances. it's like the royal court guard squads are introduced as villains and then becomes the protag cast, and their war crimes are just like... funny. cute. the murders were justified in fact ect. kubo loves the deaths actually. i'm starting to sound like a broken record here: the first arc of the gotei is heinously interesting, but after that bleach loses a lot of steam in general. the blorboification of the gotei did almost every one of them a massive disservice to their complexity, as bleach moved from a story to a serialized performance. i know a lot of this is in fact the pressure of kubo's studio's fault, but it still is tragic

i'm mentally ill about them: ^^^^

they're like a blorbo to me: in spite of all of this i really do like him. he's cute. i like watching him do things on screen even if his flaws got lost in the gotei's move from "flawed military institution we must fight" to "it's fine they were just a little confused we love them now!!". like, what was THAT about

[deathlyhogwarts]

The best prankster (James Potter x Reader)

Request: I’m not sure if you are still accepting requests, but if you are, can you please do a James Potter x Reader imagine? The girl is in Gryffindor but she’s very lowkey, and all she wanted was a proper education but there’s this stinking group of boys who always disrupts the class. She’s usually quiet and just brushes off the boys’ pranks until James Potter blew up her cauldron and she thought her grades were in danger so she retaliated. She’s stubborn like crazy and won’t stop until she wins

a/n: so these past imagines i've written are requests i got a long time ago. if you recognise your request, i'm really sorry. i almost abandoned this blog for good, but now i am determined to stay!

Warnings: probably some yelling/cursing

Masterlist

School was very important. Education was really important. At least, to you. You could've gone to a normal muggle school, learn about basic mundane things, which, weren't exactly useless, but most of them didn't require use in day to day life. When you got your Hogwarts letter you were bursting with excitement. Not only you were going to learn something new, but you were learning magic! That is why you wanted to be at the top in every class, you wanted to prove yourself worthy of being there, and also because purebloods always mocked you for that. You wanted to prove them wrong.

There was only one problem — four very, very problematic boys who called themselves "the Marauders"; very ingineous, what could you say. They caused some kind of trouble in every single class, whether it was just a little paper airplane thrown at the teacher or there was some explosion of some kind. Always trouble. Though, you never said anything, you let it slip past you, but it annoyed you very much. They were always a distraction from your education.

As you entered the Potions classroom, you got to your seat in the front of the classroom, being one of the first to get there. You arranged your stuff on the desk as the classroom filled with kids. The Marauders entering amongst the last, you couldn't help but notice they all had an amused expression on their faces. You scoffed. Of course they had something planned for today. You glared as James Potter smirked at you. Whatever they were planning you weren't going to let it ruin your class.

The professor entered, greeting the class, as he took his seat and started telling us about a potion called Skele-Gro. He explained the history of it and told some facts about it. He told us to gather the ingredients and start making the potion. After a few minutes he wanted to see how our potions came out, but as he tried to sit up, the chair got up with him. You rolled your eyes. So this was the prank? Pathetic.

"Who put a sticking charm on the chair?" Professor Slughorn asked calmly, but there was a warning tone in his voice. Of course, he didn't have to ask, we all knew who were the pranksters of this school. No one answered. "Perhaps, Mr. Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew would like to explain?"

Everyone looked at the four boys. Even they looked surprised. James got his hands up in defense and said: "We didn't do that, Professor." He sounded annoyingly sincere. So there was someone else who decided to be a prankster?

"Then whoever did this, would you care to explain yourself before I give you all Veritaserum and—"

Professor Slughorn wss interrupted by a really loud sound. You jumped from the sudden noise and then realised it was coming from your cauldron. Your eyes went wide and you started panicking. What did you do wrong? You never did something wrong, and even when you did, it was something small and it didn't sound like a dragon was about to give birth in your cauldron. Within a few seconds, your cauldron started shaking and excessively spreading smoke. Then it exploded. The potion was all over you and half of the students.

"Now that we did." You heard James Potter behind you and then he laughed. He had the nerve to laugh when half of your grade was spread all over the classroom.

You were furious. That was the last straw, you couldn't take it anymore. Who were they to think they could mess with everyone without any consequences? Red from anger, you turned so you were facing them. "You fool, you absolute fool! Who do you think you are, messing with my potion like that?! You think you're so funny and intelligent with all of your pranks, when, in fact, you are all just assholes!" And with that you gathered your things and got out of the classroom.

You were angry. You wanted to scream or punch someone, but you decided you were going to fight fire with fire. The Marauders didn't know what was about to come.

***

You decided to hit where it hurt most. You had a prank in mind for each one of the Marauders, each one being a planned, organised one. You went for light pranks for Remus and Peter, as they seemed the most down to earth. Especially Remus, he actually liked learning like you do, you noticed, and Peter, well, he usually got influenced by the others. They didn't annoy you as much, so you simply put a charm on Remus' books as to everytime he would try to open them, they would snap back closed immediately. Peter, you also put a charm on him as to everytime he took a turn on the corridor, he would appear in another one, and so he would get lost. That was easy.

As for Sirius and James, you had to really prepare this. You thought about it for a while and then something popped into your mind: what makes Sirius snob? His hair. So you sneaked into their dorm when they were off doing another prank and poured pastel pink hair dye into his shampoo and put a spell on it so it would last a week.

"Who in the name of Godric Gryffindor put hair dye in my shampoo?!" You looked up from your book and saw Sirius standing in the common room, a horrified expression on his face, but most importantly, his hair was pink. You hid your laugh as you buried your face back in your book. It was a good prank, but it was irritating how he managed to look annoyingly good even with pink hair.

James was next and last on your list. You were going to hit him where it hurt most — his pride.

***

You were in the hallway as were the Marauders and other students. You were leaning against the wall and watched them, as they all had smirks on their faces, even Remus, like they always looked before a prank. You already knew what was coming. Or rather, you knew what they thought what was coming. You've watched them for the past couple of days and saw what they were planning. What they didn't know, though, was that you twisted it.

You looked at James and as if feeling your stare, he looked back at you and his expression changed from mischevious to what looked like guilt. It was only for a second though, because their prey had just entered the hallway and he had to focus his attention back on his plan.

As the poor guy (that was not so poor thanks to you) passed, James quickly did a movement with his wand. You see, what was supposed to happen was a bucket of slugs to fall on the guy's head. As the guy passed by them and nothing happened, the Marauders' expressions changed quickly from mischief to confusion and they looked at each other in disbelief.

Then, in a matter of a second, a bucket fell on James Potter's head with a loud bang. He removed it quickly, looking bewildered. His head was covered in slugs and his hair was sticking out in every direction possible, thanks to a little charm you casted. Everyone laughed at him as he tried to remove the slugs from his face; even the rest of the Marauders chuckled lightly, but confusion was still very visible on them.

You quickly walked towards them and said: "Not so good when the one being pranked is you, is it?" You looked at all of them smirking and walked away.

As you were approaching the Gryffindor common room, you heard someone calling your name. "Y/N, wait!" You turned around and saw James running towards you, his face still covered in slugs and his hair still a mess. You wanted to laugh, but abstained with a very amused smile.

"Yes?"

"I, uh—that was clever," he said chuckling. "We all clearly underestimated you." He picked a slug from his face and threw it on the ground.

"Yeah, you did,", you said, crossing your arms at your chest.

"Come to think of it, I was going to apologise about Potions class, I thought you were so upset that you might not even give me a chance."

You frowned. "A chance at what?"

"Couldn't you tell? I was trying to get your attention. And that wasn't the only time, but for some reason you never noticed." He smiled. "Remember when I threw paper airplanes at Professor Flitwick?" You simply nodded. "Well they were aimed at you," he continued, "they even had a text written on them asking if you would go to Hogsmeade with me, but thank Merlin it was charmed to be seen only by you; if Flitwick would have seen that..." he trailed off.

You laughed. "I was upset at you, you know, I kinda still am. School means a lot to me."

"I've noticed." He nodded.

"And my grades are important to me."

"I'm sorry," he said and you believed him. His tone was sincere. "I didn't think it would go as far as to mess with your schoolwork."

You smiled. "I accept your apologies."

"So, would you like to go on a date with me? Without pranks, as hard as it is to say that."

You thought about it. The way you were always obsessed with them and their pranks, you always thought James was the most annoying one, which was really a reason to excuse yourself from thinking about him. Deep down, you were attracted to him, too. "Yeah, I'd like that." You smiled at him.

"Uh, can you help me with these?" He gestured towards his face and hair. "Since, you know, it's you that caused it," he joked.

"Of course," you said and took a step closer to him and reached for his face. You placed a hand on his cheek, while the other one picked slugs from his face. Very romantic, you thought.

He smiled cheekily at you. "You know, if we're gonna be like this everytime you prank me, please do that more often," he said. Indeed, you faces were very close and he was looking at your lips. You leaned in and your lips brushed.

"Nice, so now can you tell me how to un-pink my hair?" You suddenly pulled away, only to find Sirius standing a few feet away from us. Oh, you weren't going to do that very soon. He looked very good with pink hair.