#i’ve yet to do a deep dive on his tattoos but he has a butterfly on his wrist and i love that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

i-did · 4 years ago

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HELLO 👋 I WAS SENT HERE BY PALMETT-HOES. What are your thoughts on the foxes + tattoos?? Originally it was Neil + tattoos but if you have thoughts of the other foxes too I'd love to hear them if you want to share 🥺

Okay, so I actually might try to become a tattoo artist and love tattoo culture. I also have already about 30 tattoos, some the size of my whole hand and some the size of a quarter, a lot of mixed and matched stuff. I also always try to think of the foxes in their timeline, so 2006-2007 era, and when I think said foxes would get tattoos in their life and why.

NEIL

First off: I personally HC Neil has keloid scarring and a lot of scarring so tattooing is hard on his skin. I have a friend who has more scars than I've ever seen on anyone else IRL before and we both love tattoos but even with him trying to prep the artist, unless they were a scar micropigmentation expert, they usually underestimated how hard it was going to be to tattoo on his skin. It's uneven and dense and doesn’t hold ink well. His non-scarred skin faired a lot better but his skin was something artists just weren't prepared for. I might get some micropigmentation on some skin grafts I got to even out the coloring and make it look more “natural” but I’m waiting to see if the pigment will settle and heal more first.

I personally don't see Neil ever getting a tattoo, and this bums a lot of people out lmao. I think his scars are too thick and too raised and it's too cosmetic and aesthetic centric for it to be something on his radar. On his skin that isn't touched by scars I think he would want to leave as be mostly out of neutrality. I don't see Neil as the type of sentimental tattooer, I see him thinking “well if it matters to me I remember it�� sort of and him wanting to keep the really deep stuff personal just for himself and even another person putting it on him is someone else there. I think if he were ever to get a tattoo, he would be like… idk it would be the kind that says “yes I got shot, stop asking” over a bullet hole scar or like that one guy whos missing his leg and above it there's a tattoo that says “one foot in the grave” that's the only type of tattoo I can see Neil doing and even still I'm not convinced he would do it.

ANDREW

I don't ever see Andrew covering up his scars with tattoos either. I think he likes how the armbands can come on and off and be fully covered to not at all. He's not ashamed of them but he's private, and I think the tattoos could seem like he's trying to hide them when he's not-it's just nobody's business. I think if he were to get anything it would be American-traditional, it ages well, its classic, and doesn't really go out of style. Before the…. Let's say 80s, there weren't the different tattoo “styles” like there are today. It was just… tattoos in America. There was Japanese-style tattooing and then American-style tattooing, and since tattooing started curating its underground culture in the ’50s in America… those circles did not blend. They do now, but they sure as hell didn't then. So I could see Andrew with American-traditional because it's classic and I could see it appealing to him, but I could also see Russian prison tattoo style black-work something that appeals to him too. Get him some gulag tats. However if he had those, and since I currently HC him as white and with a buzzed or grown-out messy buzzed head, he would deadass look like a fuckin skinhead so... yeah lmao. Overall I don't see Andrew getting tattoos really, but if he would, American-traditional seems fitting.

KEVIN

Okay, so Kevin out here looking like a MF SoundCloud rapper with his single face tat and nothing else going on. I know it might be OOC but since his mom is Irish and I HC his dad as Maori (even tho in the canon Wymack likely has 90s new age tribalism, which is a complicated issue but instead I choose culturally significant tattoos over the tattoo trend that was largely popularized by a movie lmao anyways-).

So I think Kevin is the only one who dives into tattoo culture and bonds over it with his dad. If he just has the chess piece, it still feels like a branding, like a mark so distinct against the rest of him, but one full sleeve of Celtic knots and symbols and the other arm full of Maori's distinct tattoos of swirls and symbols could be a cool way for him to reclaim his own skin and have it not be something he did just to cover something up, but make tattooing something connecting him to his cultures and family.

NICKY

Nicky is the guy who got like, fierce, or pride, or something like that tattooed if he got a tattoo. I see Nicky getting a pride tattoo of some kind maybe and it being calligraphy or like if Nicky/Erik is a bear then he gets a bear paw. I could also see him getting his and Erik’s wedding date tattooed somewhere. I also don't see him as the type who didn't know how much research and shit goes into finding the artist for you, and kinda assumes you can go to just anyone and just walk in and then was like “wait what” when he couldn’t (or couldn't if he wanted to get exactly what he had in mind) so he probably got/gets tattooed by some non-homophobic apprentice, maybe even that apprentices first tattoo, and also since Nicky is Mexican and darker-skinned I doubt he thinks to put on sunscreen and the sun makes his ink lines bleed and so it doesn't age the best (it be like that).

ALLISON

Got a trendy tramp stamp to like, really stick it to her parents. Right on her lower back I bet it's the classic 2000s swirls and a butterfly and some of those stars, idk what they're called. If she was a young 20-year-old now tho she totally would have gotten a fine line tattoo, like not a tight three, a real 1 needle tattoo. They were seen as really nice back then and “so Cali” and like I could see /maybe/ her getting it done before she's 30 but they were not that common yet and like micro-realism is so new we still kinda don't know how it's going to age at all since tattoos before it have been designed they way they have for aging. Again if she got a micro-realism/single needle tattoo tho it would be something kinda basic like a butterfly or like a lion. I swear I've seen the same google image lion tattooed on a lotta people and like IDC it's your skin. But yeah, she gets the classic 2000s swirl butterfly and stars tattoo above her crack one night, maybe after a really bad phone call with her parents and she got drunk and pissed off. Maybe someone said she couldn't take the pain. (which btw, tattoos don’t hurt as much as they make them out to be in shows and shit, they can hurt tho)

DAN

I HC Dan as very dark-skinned, she's 75% black and 25% Sioux and grew up in a very very white area when outside her home on the res. Tattoo culture is still really sexist and really colorist, and at this point in history I think if she ever did want a tattoo, she maybe asked vaguely about it and they flat out said “I don't know how to tattoo on black skin” or “it doesn't go with my art” which… are shithole excuses and I think she thought, “well fuck u too” and never thought about it much since then.

RENEE

I HC as Renee as darker-skinned than Dan, and like the only places she could possibly get tattooed are maybe her palms, the bottoms of her feet, or her inner mouth probably. Some people genuinely are so dark that tattooing is hard, because it's based on the concept of black ink on a lighter surface, which is why scarification catches on in cultures where the skin is too dark to pigment with ink effectively. However, the idea of fuckin, 15-year-old Renee who is still Natalie with “PU$$Y” tattooed in her mouth kinda sends me. I think lil kid Renee thought she was gangster, and tbh she was, and I could see her getting some “fuck you/in your face” tattoo, especially if she was a lesbian in such a homophobic world, getting that tattooed is even better. We also know she got her back tatted in the EC with angel wings that look almost closer to dragon wings, so I imagine they show up as almost raised dark lines like scars from the untrained tattoo artist going way too deep, making it a cross between a tattoo and scarification, even if accidental. (also white ink really wasn't a thing yet and even now is still kinda hard to tell how it will heal, so that's why I don't think she gets any white ink tats)

MATT

He's a rich boy from NYC, he could really get like… whatever he wants. Once he's famous he can afford it that's for sure, but even before then he could with his allowance similar to Allison (even if on a completely different level). However, I doubt he gets anything lol. He's not particularly religious in my HC and doesn't have the same sense of being lost like I feel Kevin does with his own parents (I mean Kevin was raised like an orphan, kinda so it makes sense). I need to develop Matt’s background further on what it means to him personally to be a Filipino-American. I have several ideas about how his parents met in the Philippines and then came here but I would need to flesh out locations and then local cultures and then his parents said opinions on tattoos and then how matt would react to said opinions. I could see him possibly getting something for dan or his kids tattooed on. Which really makes me want to have him get his first kid's name tattooed really big or intricate somewhere like on his chest over his heart and then his kid comes out as trans and he's like “...fuck” lmao and gets it removed maybe and then redone or something. I see him viewing tattoos are personal and symbolic, and if he would get something it would probably be family-oriented, possibly Dan's portrait or like his baby's footprint which I've seen before.

AARON & SETH

Stick and pokes were not nearly as common then as they are now, and I feel like people kinda have to remember how taboo tattooing was then and still is now in a lot of cultures. My family is Not happy lmaoo. But it is what it is. Stick and Pokes were not a thing bored white middle-class teens did like I see them doing now. It was seen as super sketchy and I know someone who was 16 getting tattooed in a garage by someone who was both drunk and just out of prison for the first time, and that was seen as sketchy as stick and pokes at the time. I could imagine either Seth or Aaron having a failed and fucked up stick and poke tattoo, and out of the two of them, Seth seems like the drunk tat guy. Maybe once he got drunk and mad as fuck after Allison and him broke up and she said he didn't seem serious enough so he got her name drunkenly tattooed on his arm or something and then she was even more pissed because it was spelled wrong “YOU FORGOT THE SECOND L OMFG SETH.” (I can also imagine his future girlfriends don't love it lmao). I also love the idea of Seth just having Marvin the Martian or the Tasmanian Devil tattooed on his ass.

Anyways sorry for the lack of pictures but I didn't want to do that... so I didn't. I didn't go into niche tattoo culture and history like I was expecting myself to but this also got fuckin long. Might not be what you were hoping for at all but it is my current opinion on the foxes and tattoos. (This is also surprisingly free of my own personal aesthetic opinions on tattoos and that I'm kinda proud of ngl, since my preference is none of these, but also I grew up in a very different tattoo time than them)

#aftg #all for the game #ask #mailob #fig writes

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bangtan-sonyeonddaeng · 5 years ago

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|Jungkook Scenario| He likes you but you only see him as a friend

A little bit of angst if you squint but with a happy ending ^^

Jungkook was finding it more and more difficult to hide his growing crush on you. But he was worried you still saw him as a kid. You two had been friends for years. You were older than him, a little more serious and studious than him but otherwise your personalities were identical. You both loved to laugh and have fun, you both had a more playful side. You loved to experience and try new things which is probably why two got along so well. You always kept each other on your toes with what you were going to suggest to do next. Theme park? Bungee Jumping? Sky Diving? You pretty much would do everything together.

It was no wonder Jungkook quickly became attached to you. Not only that but because you were older than him, you seemed to have this natural inclination to take care of him. When he was sick? You were right at his door step with medicine and soup. If he was feeling sad, you were right there with some music and video games to help cheer him up or keep his mind off things. If he was having trouble sleeping, you were always a phone call away and if he was back home you would come over to hold him and he always fell right to sleep.

Yeah, he definitely was in love with you. There was no doubt about that. Everyone seemed to be able to see it except for you. Either that or you just chose to ignore it, not wanting to reject his feelings and hurt him. But it came to a point where he just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

He had been having trouble sleeping and asked you to come over and you did without hesitation. You had made him some hot tea to help him relax and now you both were laying in his bed, him laying on your chest with his arms wrapped around your middle. When you started playing with his hair he was just suddenly hit with such a fondness that he couldn’t keep it in anymore, so he blurted it out.

“I love you, y/n.”

“Aw I love you too!”

“No like... not in a friendly way.” Your hand immediately stops carding through his hair.

“Jungkook please don’t...”

“I can’t hold it in anymore, I’m sorry. I just needed you to know that I have romantic feelings for you. Is there any chance you feel the same way?” You let your hand fall and sigh while staring up at the ceiling.

“I’m sorry... but we’ve been friends for so long it’s hard for me to see you as anything else.” Jungkook’s heart sinks and you hear a quiet sniffle escape him and it breaks your heart to know that you are the cause of his pain.

“What if you did see me as something more?”

“What?”

“What if I make you see that we can be more than friends? What if I show you that I might be young but I can take care of you too. I can be a good man for you. I’m just asking you to give me a chance to do that. If by the end of all this you still feel the same way then I will let it go. But I have to at least try.” It’s quiet for a few moments while you consider his words. Never in a million years did you ever thing Jungkook would like you in a non platonic way. You had only ever seen him as a friend, to see him in a romantic way was difficult to you. He was always just a sweet innocent friend to you. His big doe eyes, sweet bunny smile, they were all very endearing but in a way that was more like you wanted to protect him. But Jungkook was asking you so sincerely you couldn’t say no, you always did have trouble telling him no. You take a deep breath and nod.

“I think you nodded your head but I’m still laying on you so I can’t see you.” You giggle.

“Yes, Jungkook. I’ll give it a chance. But I don’t want you to get your hopes up, okay?”

“Alright, y/n I won’t. But that doesn’t mean I am not going to try my hardest to win your heart.” You place your fingers back in his hair and resume your ministrations.

“Okay, Kookie. Now get some rest, you have a busy day tomorrow.”

And try his hardest he did. He started working out more, and it didn’t go unnoticed by you that now whenever he hugged you, you could feel his back muscles underneath your fingertips. He started taking care of you now. Often showing up at your door with dinner for the two of you and wine. One night after one too many glasses of wine you were shamelessly checking him out and he couldn't help the cocky smirk that spread across his face.

When you two went out together, he insisted on paying and he started taking you to do romantic things together. Like watch the sunset, hold hands walking at the beach, or watching the stars come out together. Overtime you couldn’t deny that maybe your feelings for him were becoming a little less than platonic and that scared you. So you did the only thing you could think of, ask Namjoon and Yoongi. They were very wise even though they were only in their 20′s and you always asked them for advice when you needed it. You stopped by the studio, knowing they were there recording their unit song for their new album. You knocked on Yoongi’s studio door and within a few moments it popped open. He looked surprised to see you.

“Y/n? What are you doing here I thought you were hanging out with Jungkook today?”

“I am but not until later he’s uh.. actually the reason I needed to talk to you both.” Yoongi steps aside and you wave at Namjoon and sit next to him on the couch. You let out a heavy sigh and press your palms to your eyes.

“Y/n what’s up? Everything going okay with you and Jungkookie?”

“It’s going great. Too great. I think I... might... like him.. in a romantic way?”

“Well it’s about damn time!” Yoongi blurts out. Namjoon shoots him a look and he snaps his mouth shut.

“What do you mean? I thought you only liked him as a friend?” You remove your hands and look at them both confused.

“He really didn't tell you his big plan?” They both look at each other just as confused as you are and shake their heads. “Wow okay. Well a few weeks ago he confessed his feelings for me. And I told him that I didn’t return his feelings. that way. But then he asked me to give him a chance to see him as something more. So he starts working out more, dressing in tighter clothes to show off those gorgeous muscles and don’t even get me started on those tattoos of his oh my god-”

“Y/n close your mouth before you start drooling.” Yoongi teases. You grab a pillow off the couch and throw it at him.

“Ignore him. Go on.”

“Anyway. So he starts taking me out on these dates. He insist on paying, he takes me to the beach, holds my hand, takes me star gazing. Like he actually would be a really good boyfriend.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I don’t know I’m just having a crisis because for years I have only seen him as a friend and now in such a short time they just changed so rapidly I just.. I dont’ know. What if I go back to only having platonic feelings for him? I don’t want to break his heart.” Namjoon considers your words for a few moments before he speaks.

“Well, honestly you don’t have any way of knowing that unless you try. Jungkook has liked you for a really long time. You should hear the way he talks about you. ‘Nuna is so pretty, and she takes such good care of me. And she’s so sweet to me too. She’d literally be the perfect girlfriend.’”

“And he was so sad when he thought you never would return his feelings. ‘Nuna only sees me as a kid. She’s never going to like me that way hyung.’” Yoongi offers. “He came to me many times venting his frustrations about it all and I did my best to help him. I think I may have pushed him to confess because I told him he’ll never know for sure unless he tries.”

“So should I? Make it official between us then?”

“I think you should. Pardon me if I am overstepping but, have you kissed him yet?” You face turns bright red.

“No..”

“But you’ve thought about it?”

“Muscles.. tattoos... I’ve thought about doing a lot more than that.” Yoongi grabs the pillow you threw at him and tosses it back at you.

“TMI y/n I don’t want to hear your dirty fantasies about my dongsaeng!”

“Sorry sorry!”

“Maybe you should. Kiss him I mean. At the end of your date tonight. See if you feel anything. That might be the best way for you to make sure your feelings are genuine.” You smile and nod.

“Okay that’s actually a really good idea. Thank you, Namjoon!”

“You’re welcome.”

You’re pacing around your apartment nervously waiting for Jungkook to pick you up. You’re worried for how this is going to go. What if you kiss him and you feel nothing but he feels everything. You don’t want to hurt him. Above all else he is still your best friend and to see him hurting and knowing you’re the cause of it would break you. There is a knock on your door and you take a deep breath, standing up straight ready to take on whatever is thrown your way tonight. The moment you open the door and lay your eyes on him every fear you had goes out the window.

He’s wearing tight black skinny jeans that hug his thighs nicely. A belt with a white t-shirt tucked in showing off his small waist that you loved so much. The shirt is tight, and little see-through leaving nothing to your imagination. You can see his abs through the shirt. Then your gaze moves to his arms. The sleeve tattoo adorning his arm being your main focus and before you can stop yourself you reach your hand out and run your fingers over them.

“Um.. y/n?” Your gaze snaps up to his and your breath is taken away by how gorgeous he looks right now. His hair is parted away from his forehead, and he has on a small amount of dark eye shadow that really makes his brown eyes pop.

“I’m sorry I can’t wait until after our date.” You grab him by his shirt and pull him down and press your lips together in an urgent kiss. You feel everything. The way he immediately melts into the kiss, his hands flying up to cup your cheeks and kiss you tenderly. You knew he had to have been waiting a long time for this so the fact that he kissed you so patiently and with care made your heart melt. The butterflies were running rampant in your stomach and your knees were shaking. You felt like you were going to fall over but Jungkook’s strong arms trailed down to your waist and wrapped around there rightly, pulling you closer to him as he deepened the kiss. He tongue swiped along the bottom of your lip and you allowed him entrance without hesitation. Your tongues intertwined together, lips moving against one another and when he finally pulled away he trapped your bottom lip in between his teeth causing you to let out a quiet whimper at the loss of contact. He’s panting, his hair is a mess and his lips are slightly swollen and he looks every bit of beautiful as you could imagine.

“Wow.. Y/n what was that?”

“What do you mean? Where did you learn to kiss like that?!” Jungkook blushes and looks away. “No no don’t you be getting shy on me now. Where did that confidence come from huh?”

“It’s just.. it’s you. I don’t know. I’ve been wanting to do that for a while I never thought you would kiss me so when it happened I just kind of let my body take over..”

“That was the most amazing kiss I’ve ever experienced.” His eyes light up.

“Really? So.. what does this mean then?”

“Well.. you definitely accomplished your goal.”

“Really?! You mean it? You don’t just see me as a friend?”

“I don’t kiss my friends like that, do you?” He blushes and looks away again and you can’t help but find it cute. You place your hand on his cheek and guide his gaze back to yours. “Jungkook.”

“Yes, nuna?”

“Be my boyfriend?”

“Y-yes! Of course. Oh my gosh you have no idea how happy I am right now.” He pulls you into a tight hug and you rest your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat wildly in his chest. You grab one of his hands and place it on your chest where your own heart is beating just as fast.

“Oh I think I have a pretty good idea actually.”

#bts reaction #bts reactions #bts scenario #bts scenarios #bts imagine #bts imagines #bts #jeon jeongguk #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #reader x jungkook #jungkook scenario #jungkook reaction #jungkook imagine

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babyshawwn · 5 years ago

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Sweetest Creature

Word count: 2,6k.

MASTERLIST

He wakes you from your slurred sleep with loving kisses while mumbling sweet words into your ear. Words sweet enough to force chills down your body even though you’re cuddled warmly under the white sheets.

You don’t open your eyes to the sound of his warm mumbles, the headache from last night events popping to the surface. You hear him laugh at your reaction and you can imagine his flushed cheeks and soft face while he does.

“Morning honey.” Shawn whispers into your ear, his plump lips nipping to your tender skin.

You pop your sore eyes open, your sight blurry at first and then, your stare falls on Shawn’s chestnut-brown eyes watching you carefully. He’s leaning on his elbow, hovering slightly above you with his familiar warm smile planted on his flushed face. He’s wearing absolutely nothing but he’s using the sheets to cover his hips. His silver necklace is dangling from his throat while he keeps his loving eyes on yours.

You still haven’t gotten used to waking up in his bed yet. Though you have spent the night numerous of times, you still hold your breath when the first thing your eyes catches in the morning is his warm stare and his chocolate curls next to you.

Never fully able to understand that he’s yours. Weeks, months, years has passed and you still can’t quite gasp that you have been lucky enough to find someone like Shawn.

“How did you sleep?” He asks, leaning down to kiss your swollen lips. You taste like alcohol but he doesn’t mind. He’s aware he taste the same.

Shawn’s voice is husky from all the yelling you were doing last night during the heated beer pong games with your friends, the hoarse tone forcing pleasant shivers to climb down your spine. You love how deep his sleepy voice is.

“Fine.” You pout while rubbing your eyes. “Until someone decided to wake me.”

“Well, someone has to make sure you don’t sleep the entire day away.” Shawn laughs, moving his fingers through his messy curls. “Are you gonna be sour about that the rest of the day?”

You roll your eyes at his joke but feel the warmth from his laugh send vibrations through your slightly aching body. Your eyes fall on his profile and you can’t help but smile.

He’s just so pretty. Laying on his side next to you, his curls wild and his lips slightly swollen from chewing on them too much.

You feel your heart flicker as he sends you another loving smile while allowing his fingers to leave trails different places on your body.

“Maybe. Still deciding.” You tell him, while you slip across the mattress to cuddle into Shawn’s bare chest.

The moment you’re closer to him, you feel at ease.

He lowers his mouth and begins to kiss along your jawline, moving lower to kiss your collarbone. His warm lips are giving you shivers while his fingers start wandering down your naked and somewhat sore body.

You can tell he’s drawing small hearts on your skin with the tip of his finger and you feel the warmth in your chest increase. He’s such a soft boy sometimes and you absolutely adore it.

Shawn’s strong cologne is hanging in the air, though the sheets has a scent of alcohol and smoke stuck to them, it’s still his smell that cuts through.

You attach your lips to his chest, kissing him gently while wrapping your hands around his lanky body. You feel him shiver from your tender touches. Shawn lowers his chin and let his forehead rest against yours, a smile moving across his pink lips.

“Have I told you how much I love you?” He asks, pecking to your mouth a few times.

“Oh please, Shawn.” You laugh. “You told me you loved me the first night I met you.”

Shawn laughs at your point and though he feels the heat raising in his cheeks, he doesn’t feel the slightest bit embarrassed about it. Leaning to your ear, he chews on your earlobe, earning a soft moan from your mouth.

“It was the alcohol talking.” He lies and you’re fully aware. “Didn’t know what I was getting myself into.”

Shawn knows he jokes around a lot when it comes to you. He teases that he should have never bought you a drink that night at the bar, that he got stuck with you due to his intake of alcohol, but in reality, he was stone cold sober when he first saw your blurry silhouette in the middle of the crowd that December night in 2017.

He will never fully admit it, but you swept his feet away without even noticing in the matter of seconds. It was strange to him, really. Suddenly you had shown up and nothing felt the same. Nothing was ever the same after he met you but he had no regrets about loving you wholeheartedly from the very beginning.

It was unlike Shawn. He wasn’t the guy to take risks. He doesn’t jump into the water without thinking about the consequences nor does he take chances with his heart or closes his eyes to the possibility of getting himself hurt.

Shawn had always been a thinker, he considers all options and the possible outfall. He doesn’t do things on a limb and he has certainly never been the spontaneous type. But then there you were, drunk on a couple of tequila sunrises, with your flushed cheeks and your stunner smile and then, he changed.

He jumped into the deep with both feet, eyes shut and blind to the consequences because something in his heart told him, you were worth being careless for. Free falling into your hands being the most terrified he had ever been, but knowing in his heart that you were worth taking a risk.

Shawn didn’t feel like it was even a choice. He had to love you, he was made to love you. He felt it deep in his bones, he felt it in his heart and in his soul. So he dived right into you without ever looking back.

“And now it’s too late to back out.” You joke back while Shawn curls his arm around your bare thigh.

His lips wander to the edge of your panties as shivers appear in the matter of seconds, your stomach doing flips from his mouth tracing your sore areas. You tug your fingers through his hair, unable to stop yourself from smiling towards your handsome, slightly tattooed boyfriend.

Shawn drops his chin against your leg, his eyes popping to yours with a smile painted on his face. You reach down to caress his cheek, your thumb tracing his upper lip.

“You remember the first thing I ever said to you?” He asks, his tongue sliding between his lips to moist them. You laugh at his words while your thumb slides down his throat to reach his collarbone.

“You told me you didn’t have much to offer other than buying me a drink.” You say, feeling your heart skip a beat reminiscing that magical night you first met him. Shawn nods, curls slipping to his eyes as he adjusts his position next to you.

“But I ended the night offering you my heart.” He tells you while his hand moves to your face. You press your cheek further against his palm to enjoy his embrace fully. “I already knew in that moment, you know?”

“Knew what?” You ask as butterflies cracks open in your stomach.

The way he looks at you with his drowsy eyes and a wide smile on his lips makes it harder for you to breathe.

“That you were my forever.” He tells you, reaching for your hand to kiss your knuckles.

You can’t find any words to say while you feel your throat tightening and a lump seems to form. You feel the tears reaching the surface of your eyes while you force a deep breath into your lungs. You still, after these years, haven’t fully understood how much Shawn loves you.

It was overwhelming to you. Having someone love you on the level Shawn did because you never really had those kinds of feelings towards yourself. At times, it was still hard for you to believe Shawn saw you the way he did.

Teardrops fall down your cheeks and falls from your nose as you swallow a silent sob. Shawn reaches for your wet face and uses his thumb to remove tears from your cheek and then, he leans closer to place a kiss on your forehead. You bury your nose into his neck, tasting the salt on the tip of your tongue.

“You want to know why I fell for you?” He asks, his hands rubbing the back of your neck.

“Why?” You whisper against his skin, nuzzling your nose further into him.

“Because I saw the best version of me in your eyes.”

“You’ve always been the best version of you, Shawn.” You say, raising your head to look at him. “You have always been good and kind and loving. You have always been the best you could be.”

He laughs at your words, but he feels the warmth in his chest grow. He finds your hands and intertwines your fingers together, his thumb brushing your knuckles lightly. He feels a nagging in his chest, though. He doesn’t like to see you upset.

“I was drowning before I met you, Shawn. I could barely keep my head above water. And then, you came along and I felt like everything might actually be okay.” Your stuttering words roll off your tongue. “Like maybe I was good enough after all.”

Tears continue to fall from your sore eyes and Shawn feels his heart sink to his stomach, almost like a punch in his guts. He hates how you used to see yourself, hates the thoughts you used to have. He doesn’t understand how genuinely good people like you can’t seem to see how special they are.

He leans to your face and kisses the tears away from your lips. You breathe against his mouth, aching from the words that slipped your mouth just moments ago.

“You have always been good enough, baby. There’s so many things I love about you. You might not see them, but I do.” He whispers, removing a tot of hair from your face. Shawn’s eyes fall on yours, his thumb brushing against your lips.

“I love how excited you get about a good book. I love your ability to see the good in most people and how you’re the last person to judge. I love that you always have to watch a cartoon after a horror movie because otherwise, you can’t go to sleep. I love you for driving around town to drop off my friends when we’ve been out drinking because you don’t like the idea of them wandering the streets that late. I love that you love me for who I am but also for who I’ve always been. I love you for keeping me balanced and for being a place to call home.”

You feel your heart melt as a shiver runs down your spine, there is no air left in your lungs and you feel your hands shake when you reach for Shawn’s face.

You raise your head to reach his lips to kiss him passionately. He taste sweet, much sweeter than his loving confession.

He tugs his fingers into your hair as you twirl your leg around his hips. Shawn moves his head slightly to deepen the heated kiss as his hand slips behind your back and moves your body closer to his.

“I don’t deserve you.” You whisper, moving your head to his shoulder.

Shawn holds you to his chest, his heart almost pounding out of his chest. Though you’re in no state to talk, he feels your love deep in his bones.

He’s never doubted it, though. How much you love him. He knows you’re not much of a talker and that putting words to feelings are hard for you. But he sees the love behind all the little things you do for him.

Like when you drive across town to buy his favourite brand of chocolate bars. Or when you sit through hours and hours of sport games because you know how happy it makes him. He sees it when you play with his hair for hours when he’s feeling ill or uncomfortable. He sees it when you remind him to eat and drink enough during the day or when you get him through an anxiety attack.

Most of all, he sees it in the way you fully support his dreams. When you have to say goodbye again, when he only has a few hours home or when he doesn’t have the time for more than two minutes on the phone, you are still by his side and you never make him feel bad about it.

Though it hurts you at times, you handle a little hurt once in a while because you know it makes Shawn happy. You stand by him, even when things are hard to get through, and you do it without second guessing or any kind of regret.

He knows it’s hard for you to say but he doesn’t need your words to know how much you love him. You tell him in your own way each day.

“One of these days.” Shawn says, lowering his mouth to your ear. “I’m going to wife you up so hard.”

His loving promise makes you look for his soft eyes. When you catch his stare, you feel your heart skip a beat as he sends you a smile. You feel butterflies in your stomach while a linger runs down your spine.

“I can’t believe how lucky I am to love someone like you.” You tell him, planting a few kisses on his tender lips. “You are indeed the best thing that ever happened to me.”

There are so many things you want to tell him, so many confessions boiling in your chest but nothing seems about right. You can’t find words that would ever be enough, words with enough love behind them to truly explain how you feel about Shawn.

You have a feeling in your heart. A feeling you don’t know how to put words on. But it feels warm and right and it makes your heart flicker and stomach flip. There are no words to describe what this feeling does to you. And therefore, you don’t tell him just yet.

You don’t tell him that he’s the reason you got better. You don’t tell him how he taught you what love is really about or how he’s the reason you have grown so much over the latest years. You don’t tell him that your heart didn’t feel safe until he came along or that he’s the one who taught you how to love yourself.

You want to save that for later, you want to save it for when you finally marry him. You want to tell your husband those things at the church on your wedding day with your family and friends present.

You lean closer to Shawn, your hand slipping behind his neck as you pull him closer. He shivers and breaths against your lips when you press your forehead to his. He looks you in the eyes, tears forming when he sees the way you look at him. Your eyes filled with nothing but love.

“I can’t wait to marry you. I can’t wait to marry my best friend and partner in crime. I can’t wait to make your favourite tea each morning or go to bed with you always. I can’t wait until the day where all we ever have to do is be together.”

You watch as Shawn chews into his lip, tears slipping from his eyes. You kiss one away while you bury your head into his neck, feeling your heart grow from the love you’re feeling in this moment.

Shawn clears his throat to remove the lump stuck there while his heart pounds through his chest. He feels the love in his heart, his bones and pumping around his veins and he knows he’s slowly but surely becoming addicted.

“You’re the sweetest creature I know.” Shawn says as he rolls his body on top of yours and lower his lips to kiss you.

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