#i’ve spent some times thinking about that especially after ur comment about how u view kyle acting with a partner

[scorchedhearth]

your jason's view of his own body essay made me think of how he would react to someone (most possibly kyle) expressing lust for his body. due to being killed so young he would prob never have experienced that in his teens and definitely not after he came back. even though he does know he looks good and he knows how to use it, like you said, i wonder how'd he view it when somebody would express such a strong reaction to it just exisiting

i think jason is able to deal well with feelings of lust/desire when he is in control, say when he’s trying to manipulate someone or throwing taunts in a fight, but he would lose his footing in a genuine situation, or as genuine as u can get when jason is involved. if someone were to express sincere desire toward him just existing as u put it, that would throw him off, not confuse him because he’s aware of how he looks but since he didn’t start the interaction or engage in behavior that would justify such reaction he would feel unsettled and default back to this disconnect between his body and his self as a mean to regain control, viewing the body as a separate entity that allows him to not take the attraction as personal and deal with it with a more rational or cold headed attitude

but if it’s in a setting where he can’t get that mindset or have control, it would definitely make him uneasy, mostly because it would force him to recon that his body is a reflection of his self and they affect one another. he would deflect and try to stir the interaction into safer water, topics he can feel in control. that would show for the person facing him as a stand-offish attitude, appearing distant, bored or uncaring about the desire expressed or his own desire without hinting at the inner conflict going on for jason, maybe even arrogant or haughty if it’s a more antagonistic situation like with kyle, his attitude being read as full of contempt for the other person instead of unease at the situation

this is especially interesting if, like me, u view him on the ace spectrum. i think his lack of general experience with other people in regular contexts (ie not training or fighting) but specifically romantic/sexual experiences doesn’t make it easy for him to understand that aspect of himself. he’s so distanced from what normal interaction between people should be that it’s hard for him to clue into the fact that he doesn’t relate to desire like others do, beyond the first barrier of his messed up relationship with his body that doesn’t help either

[adoresobs]

- the other pov! ( 𝐓.𝐂 )

the reader’s a singer and after listening to her good friend, harry’s song ‘falling’, she decides to make the other person’s pov which she relates to because of her recent breakup with timmy.

THIS FIC CONTAINS just angst mostly

can’t tell if i love or hate this but i decided to give something new a try and this is how it turned out-

part one | part two | part three 

𝐌 𝐀 𝐒 𝐓 𝐄 𝐑 𝐋 𝐈 𝐒 𝐓

THE SONG

you set up your phone, pressing the ‘go live’ button, watching as the comments began to fill up with countless compliments already.

“hey guys!” you tried your best to be the usual bubbly person your fans saw even with the breakup still being fresh in your mind. you grew closer to the phone to read the comments.

userone quarantine got everyone looking rough

“damn, do i look that bad?” you laughed, pushing some of your hair behind your ear. you could what they meant, your hair was tied in a ‘ponytail’ or just a mop on top of your head, no makeup was on your face, and you had on sweats. you could say you didn’t dress up at all.

usertwo u still look gorgeous queen it’s fiNe

userthree did u and timmy actually break up or is teen vogue playing with my feelings

userfour k but what’s with these articles ‘y/n l/n and timothée chalamet call it quits?!’

that was only a fraction of the comments you were receiving about him. you let out a nervous laugh, biting down on your lip. “okay, so, the reason i started this up was to show you all something i’ve been working on. if you know harry’s beyond amazing self and you listen to his music then you know falling which is also amazing. wellll, i made a slight remake of it? but it’s like from the other person’s point of view.” you explained.

userfive did u and timmy actually break up ):

usersix we writing sad songs now-

“yes, we are writing sad songs now,” you said with a small laugh. “no but all credits and shit go to harry and if you don’t listen to him, you should. he’s a really good friend of mine and you’re missing out if you don’t.”

userseven baby ur such a good person

usereight i want a y/n, she’s so supportive

usernine still dodging questions about timothée huh

“thank you for wanting a..me?” you giggled before turning to your piano. “okay, so i can play it but i’m not the best at piano so spare me, please.”

userten shes so precious

usereleven timothée lost all this

usertwelve how does she still look gorgeous without trying

your smile faltered at the comment about your ex. “alright, i’m gonna start.” you told the thousands of people watching, looking down at the keys and beginning to play.

“i’m in my bed, instead of yours, cried to sleep, turned off all of the lights and locked all of the doors.”

you remembered the day after everything went down. you barely got out of bed unless it was to use the bathroom. the most you did was cry and sleep when you couldn’t cry anymore.

“i replay what you said, don’t know if it’s true, left with two broken hearts and there’s nothing that we can undo.”

“i don’t want to be with you another.” timothée said, breaking the silence. you’d spent hours arguing about pointless things, it escalated the longer the fight went on. you just looked up at him, trying to scan his face, see if he truly wanted this. his head was facing the ground so you couldn’t read his expression. “this isn’t gonna work out for much longer and we both know that so i’ll just save us the trouble of going through this later on.”

“what am i now? what am i now? don’t wanna cry ‘cause i can’t stand the sound,”

you cringed at the screaming baby in the supermarket, catching timothée’s eye quickly. “little loud for you?” he asked, a smile on his face.

“i can’t stand the sound of crying so yes, it is.” you shot back, reaching over to hit his arm. timothée rubbed his arm, flipping you off.

“wouldn’t have guessed since you cry almost everyday.” he joked which made you gasp.

“i would appreciate it if i wasn’t being attacked by my boyfriend right now.”

“i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling.”

userthirteen she’s really making me cry like this

userfourteen truly think she did this because of the breakup with timmy ):

userfifteen about to go fuck up his perfect face if he hurt my baby

“what if i’m down? what if i’m out? what if you’re someone i can’t live without?”

“are you gonna admit that you love me or are we gonna have to keep doing this hate thing?” timothée asked after you’d stated you hated him for the third time that day. “mm, i think i’m gonna stick with the hate thing.” you answered, letting out a laugh.

“okay, y/n, i’m gonna need you to repeat after me.”

“mhm.” you decided to play whatever game he was playing.

“i, y/n l/n”

“i, y/n l/n,” you repeated.

“love mr. timothée chalamet and cannot live without him.”

“hate mr. timothée chalamet and definitely can live without him because he sucks.”

“i don’t recall that being what i said?”

“oh, really? tough luck.” you teased.

“i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling.”

usersixteen u sound so gOOD BABY

userseventeen i wasn’t even in the relationship and i’m about to cry

usereighteen can u- make a song with harry though-

“you said you cared, but i never knew, before i heard your lyrics, i didn’t even have a clue.”

“hey, y/n?” timothée muttered. he wasn’t sure if you were alseep or not since you were sprawled out on his chest and clinging to him. he couldn’t see if your eyes were open until you lifted you head up so it was face to face with his. “hm?” you asked.

“you know i care about you, right?”

“pfft, of course not.” even in your sleepy state, you still made jokes with him.

timothée almost groaned at your words, “i’m serious, okay?”

“i know, i know. i care about you too.” you laid your head back on chest and fell asleep comfortably in his arms. you slept great especially knowing that you were cared for.

“now everytime somebody says your name, i remember the day where i ran out of reasons to stay.”

“you don’t think this is working out?” you asked, your voice was low. you didn’t want this conversation to be happening. why couldn’t you just go back to before? where everything was good. you were happy.

timothée shook his head, not even bothering to look you in the eyes.

“so, that’s it?” you asked with a bitter laugh. “it’s over that quick. you’re not even fighting for us! shows how much this really meant to you.”

“oh, cmon on, y/n. we both knew that this was gonna fall apart when it started. we don’t work and that’s all.”

“we both knew? or just you?”

“what am i now? what am i now? don’t wanna cry ‘cause i can’t stand the sound, i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling.”

zendaya shut up you sound SO GOOD

arianagrande so proud of u xx

usernineteen completely forgot she was friends with them-

“what if i’m down? what if i’m out? what if you’re someone i can’t live without? i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling.”

usertwenty everyone appreciate this talented queen

usertwentyone this is where my favorite part comes up, everyone shut uP

usertwentytwo can i be u pls

“can i do this alone without ever needing you again?”

“admit you need me and i’ll help you.” timothée said, teasing you which he had been doing for the last ten minutes.

“this would be fine if i had subtitles but you won’t give me the damn remote.” you huffed. the movie was fully in french which you couldn’t understand. timothée didn’t want to turn on the subtitles since you refused to let him teach you french.

“admit it and the remote is all yours.”

“i need you because without you, i would have a very fun life without having to worry about knowing french.” you fired which only made timothée roll his eyes.

“no remote for y/n.” he said, turning back to the movie leaving you to whine about it.

“what am i now? what am i now? what will i do now that you’re not around? i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling”

you had never been so unproductive and bored in your life. that was something he was amazing at - encouraging and motivating you to do your best and take on the day no matter how juch you didn’t want to. now that he wasn’t here, there hardly felt like you had anohter reason to do said things. you were alone twenty four seven.

“what if i’m down? what if i’m out? maybe you’re someone i won’t talk about, i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling.”

your thoughts wandered back to all of the comments you neglected to answer. you didn’t want to talk about him and you were he didn’t want to talk about you. you finished, ending the song before turning back to your phone. you scrolled through the comments, seeing all the ones you missed while playing. “thank you z! and i love you, ari.” you said with a laugh.

usertwentythree when i see him, it’s on sight

usertwentyfour anyways u sounded so gOOD AND IM SO PROUD OF U!!

your heart warmed at the sweet comment, your face immediately heating up. “look, now i’m blushing. thank you lovely!”

harrystyles you sounded better than me

harrystyles think it’s your song now

usertwentyfive her and harry’s friendship >>

“miss you, harold!” you exclaimed. “but, i think i’m gonna end this. thank you all for liking it.” you said and ended the live.

the next morning your phone was blowing up. screenrecordings and videos of you singing were everywhere. there were even articles considering it your way of saying that you and timothée broke up. people on twitter were tweeting at you, mainly nice things which is what you only cared about.

your friends were blowing up your texts messages, screaming how proud they were of you. you were almost to the point of tears until you saw one message in particular.

my angel boy: hey

[olympus-summit]

Shinobu | re_Birthday Truth | Trial 6.7 | re: Charon, Setsuna, Atropos

[ CW: Discussed murder by cremation, emotional abuse from teachers, and suicidal ideation ]

Shinobu looks a bit sheepish when Charon corrects them – they still 100% believe the Titan Administration would blow this airship up as a last resort to destroy the rogue councilors – but his follow-up comments earn a glare.

“Sakura Arai spent her last hours cursing your name because she also thought you’d start a war! And Atropos told her your plans didn’t have to end in one! W-Which tells me you all did think through the possibilities a-and went ahead with this anyway. So… now you're worried about exposing the truth b-because of the risks…? I-I don’t want another w-war, yes, but I just… I want to understand what you expect to happen now.”

Not that the councilors are bound to follow the conspirators’ advice, especially since it sounds like not even they are in complete agreement of what should happen and who should be the scapegoat. But it’ll be good to know what resources they have, how hard the Administration would fight back, and what possible outcomes there are.

Shinobu backs out of the conversation, expecting that an answer won’t come when people are venting off more pain. Some part of them wants to mediate, but... But right now, they doubt they could give an effective defense for anyone.

Instead, they get up, messenger bag upon their shoulder, and place their turtle dolls at the respective altars. They don’t return to their own throne, instead sitting on the empty side-table next to Nemesis’s chair. It’s a narrow fit, and Shinobu has to recenter themself several times to maintain balance, but the table seems to hold their weight. Settling in, Shinobu puts a gentle hand upon Nemesis’s back to help steady him.

They’d hug him, but… Shinobu is very acutely aware that they are surrounded by widowed partners and spouses, ex-lovers, and whatever Elliott and Leland might be now. Any further public displays of affection would not be wise. Not that the Doctor has ever said anything about being uncomfortable seeing them express affection so soon after the complete destruction of her own relationship, but Shinobu’s anxiety (even now, there’s a part of them that fears her judgment) makes them wonder nonetheless.

For now, Shinobu pulls their hands back to themself, picking at their bracelet as they soak in the last few things said. They… don’t know what they can say to Setsuna, given how profoundly different their views on death are, and they don’t want to fight her. But one thing sticks out painfully to them.

“They didn’t do just ‘some’ bad things; that’s for someone who starts a fist-fight. Th-they picked through all our traumas and triggers made us relive them. They deliberately chose to do this – o-or most of them, I-I don’t know how much Menai knew and when—?”

Would it be better or worse if Menai learned the full truth early on and had chosen to keep supporting them anyway? At least if they had known, it meant they’d made an informed decision when they stayed with Elliott and hadn’t been continuously lied to. Shinobu… can’t find themself resenting them as much as they resent the others, mostly because they worry if they’re watching their own ancient history repeat again.

Shinobu groans, running their hands up and down their face. They don’t want to think of anyone as their enemy anymore. They try again, this time speaking softer.

“…Look. I don’t believe that people are born bad or good. I-It’s their experiences and how they react to it that shapes them. O-Of course, we’re… a special case. I’m sorry i-if I don’t understand new research from the 2200s or even 2090s. But anyway.

I-I want to believe we can be decent people, we could have been and still could be. And I think… that they still deserve to live. Nemesis is still right, though: It isn’t enough to feel guilty. I-It’s not enough to have good intentions or fighting a greater evil or anything like that. It’s what you do and what it does to people that matters most.

They can be forgiven. I-I’m not going to deny anyone who does, b-because that’s part of healing. But I a-am not obligated to forgive them.They’ve suffered, and th-they chose to end that suffering at all costs. But that doesn’t erase what it did to us.

They know that. I know that. I gain nothing f-from yelling at them. And… if they really are standing o-out of our way now, I’m not gonna fight them anymore. I’m tired. I-I just want to focus on living now.”

It’s not that Shinobu fully buys into the whole ‘if you kill them you’ll be just as bad as them’ concept that old stories they read would pull out, but… but they do believe people deserve a base level of dignity, and that death is not the answer. Though they aren’t really sure if that choice is in anyone’s hands now: They’ve noticed Atropos’s health deteriorate, and while she was cagey about what was wrong with her, Shinobu can’t help but wonder if there’s another reason this was their last chance to end the Summit.

They hope she is watching the way they stare at her.

“…The file said I was – the other me was in his late 70s when you spoke to him, right? And my real birth year is apparently '38…? Then, that means you contacted me a-after you’d started working here as s-staff.”

Had there been a Shinobu among the councilors in those first two decades? Was Shinobu one of those ‘popular’ ones that had been brought back first, so beloved by the citizens that the Titan Administration gave them the honor of dying in a furnace, unaware why they were burning, unaware that the Administration had already reversed all the good things that they and people like Mitsu and Evren and Mina had done for the world?

A clattering noise interrupts Shinobu’s denouement, and they glance down to see red beads scattered all over the floor – they’ve finally torn their bracelet apart, the snapped string gripped tight in their trembling hand. Shinobu loosely wraps the strings around their fingers, and shakily continues speaking. There’s a smudge of blood on their lips, from biting back on their terror.

They have to… If Atropos is deteriorating regardless their decisions, if this becomes the last time they will ever meet, then Shinobu will force themself to talk even through the pain. Even the bravest and smartest of Shinobu’s incarnations stayed silent when it mattered most. Shinobu can’t let it happen again.

“…b-b-but… Y-You asked me to h-help you restructure sports and their ethics. To make s-sure athletes are treated w-with dignity physically and psychologically. To let kids be kids and not trophies f-for their coaches to show off.

You… understood, didn’t you? What my coaches did to me? H-How they’d nitpick all my flaws and tear down my self-worth u-until I’d rather die than fail a-another test, all because they thought an angry and desperate student would work harder th-than a happy one? I-I’ve… seen the photo. Were we friends, once?”

Which Shinobu was that in the photo, chatting happily with Atropos over lunch? The second? The third or the fourth? Some other initialization of SM2038 Nike.ai that Shinobu doesn’t even know about? How much had she shared about herself and her own history? Had she genuinely wanted to bond over their similar experiences, or was she just passing time until the day Shinobu would die and forget once more?

“I w-wouldn’t know. But you would. You know what my coaches did to me. You know how ‘breaking’ us is just her philosophy on a grander scale. You know why I can’t forgive you.”

They watch her, now without any of her weapons and her pride, and Shinobu finally realizes something: More than they hate Atropos, they pity Clarice.

They project themself upon her, and they wonder: Could they have become this, given a hundred and twelve years of resenting their own extended existence? They know why she accepted the Forge the first time around – she hasn’t told them, but they know deep in their weakened bones why she did that. Could that have been Shinobu too, if they had chosen someone else to be Clotho or Lachesis? Could Shinobu, after a hundred years of sending people to their deaths, have become so willing to inflict a few months of torture on others just to break the cycle?

But people are shaped by their experiences, and Shinobu did not become that person. Calista and Iris did. Clarice did. And Shinobu cannot forgive how she, in her own way, perpetuated the same cycle they had both hated so much.

They still hope she lives. They hope she gets to live long enough to watch these final councilors thrive without her.

“I want everyone here to live.”

There’s nothing more than can be said now. Shinobu doesn’t want to feed into the circular arguments any longer. They go quiet, hand back on Nemesis’s shoulder, and hope that maybe now, they can all finally begin to reclaim their humanity.