#i’ve discovered i can carry things i couldn’t before

[moondane-lovers]

long weekend over in must return to the mines (the wooden sidings of homes and paint them) (i love my job)

[darksigns-exe]

whatever a sun will always sing is you - noah sebastian x f!reader

warnings: none

word count: 2.1k

note: birthday fic for our birthday boy <3 title comes from the poem i carry your heart with me by e.e. cummings

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Noah’s relationship with birthdays is tricky. 

Not just because he doesn’t like big celebrations, he’s also impossible to gift to. Instead of agonising over which art book you’d give him this year, you’ve decided to do something different. While he has scaled down his work schedule quite a bit, you can still tell that he’s so very restless. 

You watch him pace around your living room, while he talks to god knows who on the phone. 

You know that forcing Noah to slow down doesn’t work, you’d tried that and in the end all it had brought you was an argument so bad that you thought that you’d ruined it all. Instead, you’ll bribe him into a slow day. 

Over the weeks leading up to his birthday you’d gathered all sorts of things including bath bombs, facemasks and a brand-new sweater for Noah that you had discovered while you were out shopping. It felt so nice and soft that you simply couldn’t leave it in the store.

When the day finally rolls around, you get up before he does. As a first order of business, you turn off his alarm, before getting a few more things into order. You slip back into bed with him, fitting yourself against his side again. Noah is deep enough of a sleeper for him to remain entirely oblivious. You allow yourself to doze off for a little while longer. 

Eventually, Noah stirs next to you. He shifts and moves, stretches like he always does before he lets out a yawn that almost deafens you. You’d previously joked that he was already making dad noises, when you’re nowhere near that step in your relationship. 

You sit up next to him, trailing your fingers across his skin.

He blinks up at you, still looking rather sleepy. His lips turn up in a soft smile. 

You lean down to kiss him. Noah’s hand curls around the back of your neck, keeping you close to him. You stay close to him when you part. 

“Happy birthday, baby.” 

For a second you think that he’ll roll his eyes as he does so often. Instead, he gives you that pretty smile of his. 

“Thank you, my love.” 

He pulls you down for another kiss. 

“You have the day off today.” You inform him, “And that’s not a suggestion.” 

“Yes, Ma’am.” he lifts his hand to his forehead in a mock salute. 

“Good.” you press another quick kiss to the corner of his mouth, “Two options. We can go out for breakfast or we stay in.” 

He thinks for a moment, “What’s the out option?” 

“I found a cute place in Santa Monica. I’ve booked us a table, but I can always cancel it.” 

You show him the menu and Noah scrolls through the page for a moment. 

“Does sound really nice.” he still sounds as if he’s trying to make up his mind. 

“We still have a bit of time.” you reply, settling back down next to him, “Just in case it helps you decide, I have made a loose reservation for dinner.” 

You end up having breakfast at home. Noah hovers behind you the entire time – or at least until you banish him to the counter. But even then he keeps finding reasons for you to come over to him. 

After breakfast, you find yourself on your knees for him. It’s as much for you as it is for him. You take your time with him, savouring the different sensation that come with this. You try your best to replicate the devotion Noah showers you with when he’s between your thighs. And judging from the sighs he lets out, you’re doing a pretty good job. You’re pulled up into his arms afterwards. 

For a while you rest like this, curled together, just enjoying the others' presence. Conversation is light, but comfortable. 

It’s nice to just have a day to yourself with him. 

Your fingers trace across the bare skin of his chest. Noah lets out a breathy laugh when your fingers brush against his side. You let yourself soak in his presence for a little while longer, before you decide that it’s time for the next step of your plan. 

You sit up enough for you to be able to look at him. Noah’s hand remains on your side, fingers toying with the hem of your shirt. 

“Thought we could have a little self-care day. You always say that you want to join in when I do this, so I planned a little day for you.” 

His eyes soften then, “I don’t know what to say.” 

“You’re good. I’m more than happy to do this.” you place your hand against the side of his face, tracing your thumb across his skin, “Have to treat my boy right, don’t I?”

You swear that his cheeks turn a little pink then. 

“You work so hard, and I just want you to know how proud I am of you. You rarely ever let me do things for you, so I’m forcing you.” you say with a smile that he reciprocates so easily. 

“I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you – or this.” 

You know that, by now, he’s saying it in jest. 

“You just do. Accept it. You’re not getting rid of me, and that means that you’ll have to live with me doing nice things for you.” 

Noah lets out a dramatic sigh, “Horrible fate. I don’t know if I can do that.” You lean in to kiss him again, “You’re so brave.” another kiss, “I’m gonna pop upstairs for a moment, okay? I’ll come and get you.” 

Noah’s hand remains on your body for as long as possible. He looks after you with a soft smile playing on his lips, and it makes your heart beat a little bit faster. 

You try to be quick with your preparations. You’ve already placed towels in the dryer and made sure that you have everything you need tucked away in a cupboard. To create a real spa experience you’ve loaded the diffuser with eucalyptus oil. The speaker you’ve placed on the counter fills the room with soft music and with the mostly dimmed light your bathroom feels rather cosy. Once you’ve started to fill the tub with water, you head back to where Noah is waiting for you. 

He’s typing away at his phone, smiling to himself when you enter the living room. He looks up when you sit down next to him. 

“Nick texted.” he announces, before turning his phone towards you. 

The happy birthday text is accompanied by a photo of Nick’s cats. The little party hat he put on Jerry doesn’t incite too much excitement in the cat, but it does look rather adorable. 

“That’s cute. Tell him I said hi.” you drop your head against his shoulder, “You wanna come upstairs with me?”

Noah leaves his phone on the coffee table when he gets up to follow you. His hand finds yours before you reach the stairs. You love how affectionate he is when it’s just the two of you. He’s slowly thawing, allowing himself to be affectionate with you when you’re around other people. He’ll reach for your hand when his chest starts to feel too tight, finding comfort in the way you squeeze his hand. 

You lead him into the now steam filled bathroom. 

Between all of the things you’ve just added and the plants that already were in your bathroom, it’s feeling rather comfy. 

Noah wraps his arms around your middle, pressing his chest against your back. He presses a kiss to your shoulder. 

“I don’t know when I have taken a bath for the last time.” he says quietly. 

“I know.” you drop your head against his chest, “I got a bunch of bath bombs too. Bath salts, whatever you want. Bubbles.” 

You’ve arranged the various products in a little woven basket. Noah inspects it so carefully, picking up different things to smell them. You think that he almost looks a little timid, unsure what to do with the array of things in front of him. He eventually settles on the cloth wrapped bath oil you’d already loved in the store. 

“How does this work? Do I just drop it in?” he asks still sounding a little hesitant. 

It takes him a long moment to really relax when you’re finally in the tub. After a little bit of re-arranging you had managed to convince him to sit in front of you. Eventually, he allows himself to rest against your properly. His head drops back against your shoulder, while you run your fingers through his damp hair. Your other hand rests, entangled with his, on his belly. You tell him about some insignificant gossip from your friend group, about the call you had with your cousin a few days ago and their new puppy. Noah’s laugh rumbles through your body when you tell him about the puppy chewing up the shoes of your cousins partner. A partner neither of you really like. 

When the water starts to cool too much, you ask him to get his hair wet. Noah gives you a perplexed look in response. 

“It’s a bit easier to wash hair when it’s wet, no?” 

He’s a little reluctant to actually let you do it. The only other time he’d let you take care of him like this, he’d been sick as a dog. To make things easier for yourself, you’d climbed out of the tub and sat on the edge of it, wrapped up in your robe. The somewhat stiff posture of his back has eased up a little, and you think that he actually enjoys the affection you shower him with. You gently tilt his head back a little, allowing you to swipe a drop of suds away from his forehead. Noah blinks up at you with a soft smile playing on his lips. You lean down, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

“Almost done.” you announce, “Just have to rinse this.”

You usher him into your shared bedroom a while later. When you’d gone to fetch the warmed towels from the dryer, you’d placed the new sweater you bought for him on the bed. 

Noah doesn’t even notice it at first. 

Only when the wrapping paper crinkles under his back, does he sit up again to investigate. 

“What’s that?” 

“Present. For the birthday boy.” You crowd into the space in front of him, coming to stand between his thighs, “Go on. Open it.”

“You already did so much.”

“Noah, we had a bath, and you let me put moisturiser on your face, that’s not a lot.” you say, placing your hands on his shoulders. 

He carefully picks at the tape keeping the paper together. You’ve never seen him tear into wrapping paper, and it always seems as if he’s savouring the moment of unwrapping it as much as he does the present itself. 

“I saw it in a store while I was out getting stuff for today and it just looked so comfy.” you explain while he unfolds the sweater. 

It’s a nice deep blue, but the selling point had been the soft fabric. Sure the price tag had made almost made you reconsider, but your boy deserves only the best. 

He examines it with an adorably focused face. 

“Thank you, my love. I love it.” 

You bring a hand to the side of his face, allowing you to gentle steer him closer to you. You meet him in a soft kiss. Noah lingers with you for a bit longer, letting both of you bathe in this moment. 

When he eventually lets himself drop back onto the bed, you follow, fitting yourself against him so comfortably. You have one thigh draped across his and an arm thrown across his chest. His skin is so warm and soft beneath your palm, and you can’t stop yourself from kissing every inch of him that is within reach. 

Noah lets out a sigh, “Thank you for all of this.”

“Of course.” you place another kiss against his chest, “Doesn’t have to stay a special occasion thing, you know? You’re more than welcome to join in.” 

“Maybe I will.” he hums out in response, “Felt kinda nice to be taken care of like that.” 

“Good because you deserve it.” You shift until you can look at him, “This and so much more.” 

You swear that there’s a little bit of damp gathering in his eyes, but he quickly blinks it away again. 

“I love you so much.” he says eventually, bringing you somehow even closer to him. 

“And I love you.” 

Hours later, you decide to skip out on the dinner reservation. You still have store-brought pizza dough in the fridge and every thing else you need to make dinner at home. And if you’re honest with yourself, you’d much rather spend the rest of the day tangled up with him in your own home than anywhere else. And the content smile on Noah’s face more than enough proof for you. 

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[mavrintarou]

[3:00 PM] Miya Atsumu - A/B/O

All I can tell you all is that it's long and dirty... hope you have a wonderful smutty Friday.

Warning: Full of smutty smut... A little different from most A/B/O au

.

Atsumu returned home early from a four-week-long training camp.  

He first noticed the unfamiliar pheromone in his shared apartment with Y/n.

Immediately his ears perked, and he could hear moaning and whimpering coming from down the hall.

Sighing, Atsumu contemplated going to Osamu’s place for the night. Now that he recalled, Y/n did remind him that she was going through her rut cycle soon. Normally, they respected each other’s boundaries and spent their ruts at the specialty hotel that was designated for ruts & heats. She had asked if he would be okay if she brought her partner to spend the night at their apartment since he would be out during that time, and he was okay with it.

Before Atsumu could put his shoes back on, he heard a door swing open.

“This is fucken pathetic, screw you!”

Atsumu froze and before he could hide, a half-naked omega stalked past him before stopping to glare at him. “Your roommate is a pathetic alpha!” She shouted before slamming the door after her.

Blinking, Atsumu was shocked at what had just happened.

“She’s just mad I lost my vibe. I didn’t know you were coming home early.”

Turning his head, Atsumu sees Y/n standing only in her robe, leaning against the wall. He could see red blotches along her neck.

He took a step closer to Y/n. “You okay?”

She shrugged and smiled, “don’t worry about it.” She walked over and dropped herself on the couch.

How could he not worry? Atsumu inhaled softly before sitting beside her. He noticed the oddness he had been feeling the last couple of days and couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

He glanced over at Y/n who had her arms crossed over her chest with her eyes closed, almost like she was sleeping.

Y/n was one of the few female hybrids, a special case of an alpha and omega. Hybrids were able to choose between either gender and could breed and be bred.

The setback for most hybrids was that they have a smaller physique than an average omega and due to that, oftentimes time they were looked down on as alpha hybrids. Like both genders, hybrids go through both rut and heat phases and sometimes both could happen at the same time. Hybrids were able to release alpha and omega pheromones yet unable to detect them like betas. They often have to carry with them a pheromone neutralizer to prevent unwanted attention.

Eventually, most hybrids will adopt the more dominant gender. The high percentage of hybrids become omegas due to the challenges of being an alpha.

But Y/n had no problem attracting both alphas and omegas.

Atsumu himself was physically and sexually attracted to her until he discovered that her preference was omegas.

He would take it to his grave that he had imagined how it would be to have Y/n below him, how she would take him…

But they were friends, roommates for three years.

However, things changed two weeks ago when the two of them were casually having a beer in their living room after a long work day.

“Hey,” Atsumu started, staring at Y/n sip on her fourth beer. She was one of the few ladies he knew who enjoyed a good beer and a lot of it. “Wanna play Truth or Dare?”

He could see she was thinking about it before she smirked and answered, “sure.”

Being the gentleman he is, he allowed her to go first.

“Truth or dare, ‘Tsumu?”

He felt a sense of nervousness for some reason and decided to play it safe and chose truth.

“Why are you so uptight?”

Atsumu frowned before letting out a laugh, that was her question? “Honestly, I haven’t had sex in three months. That’s the longest I’ve ever gone without sex since losing my virginity.”

Y/n’s face distorted humorously and she tried hard not to laugh, “okay, your turn.”

“Truth or dare, Y/n?”

“Truth,” she answered.

Atsumu smirked, wondering if she was playing it safe. “Which one do you like more, being top or bottom?” This was one question he had been dying to know the answer to.

Y/n consistently projected an aura of composure and ease, effortlessly connecting with everyone she encountered. It came as no shock that alphas and omegas alike gravitated toward her; there was an undeniable allure about her that drew them in.

She wasn’t surprised at his question at all. “My answer would be top because I’ve never been a bottom before.”

His eyes bulged out in disbelief. “I don’t believe you, you have never…” Atsumu’s voice trailed off as he tried to connect the dots in his head. “But you’re a… hybrid…” his tone was filled with nothing but confusion. “Don’t you get heats?”

Y/n shook her head, gulping her beer. “No, I have never gotten through a heat before. I know, it’s odd. My doctor doesn’t know why either and just continues to tell me to monitor myself.” She shrugs her shoulders, “so, I only know how to top.” She narrows her eyes at him playfully, asking him that nearly makes him choke on his saliva. “Why? You want to do you want to show me how it feels to be a bottom?”

The fun and playful mood Atsumu was in suddenly turned him sober and serious. Was she joking? He swallowed, trying hard not to make it obvious that his cock had gotten excited and was semi-hard.

Their game of Truth or Dare came to an abrupt end before neither had a second round as the fire alarms in their apartment complex went off.

Neither spoke again about that subject and went on with their lives.

Or at least Atsumu tried to.

For days, he couldn’t get the subject out of his head, wondering and questioning how she had managed to go this long without having a heat, let alone that she had never been a bottom before! It had also bothered Atsumu about her question she asked him if he would like to show her, was she serious about it? It made Atsumu excited every time he thought about it.

Atsumu has been wanting to bring the conversation up again and suddenly had the urge to do so.

His mouth opened to speak when something hit his sense of smell, a delicate aroma. Blood began rushing down south and his mouth watered, his mind clouded with nothing but wanting to have a taste of this deliciousness that was taking over his senses.

Realization hit him as this was typically how he becomes when he is being affected by an omega’s heat pheromone.

His eyes narrowed as he looked at Y/n.

“Atsumu.”

He flinched at the way she called his name, not in a threatening way, but in a way that made him want to be nothing but possessive of her. His throat tightened as her pheromone poured more onto him.

“I… think I’m going through my first heat,” Y/n murmurs softly, opening her eyes to peer into his. They were a different color and most definitely very dilated.

He noticed her crossed arms tightening around her petite body. Realization hit him, the faint lingering smell he had detected was Y/n’s omega pheromone, something completely different from her alpha pheromone he was used to. It was no wonder he was not threatened by it because it still had a bit of her scent in it, keeping him calm.

“What?” he growled, trying to maintain his composure and sanity, he wanted to pounce on her. Atsumu stood up and distanced himself from her. “But you said you –“  

“I never had one before so I don’t know what to expect but I’m confident… enough that what I’m experiencing right now is my heat.” Y/n hunched over, her shoulders trembling.

The silence in the room was unbearable and she broke it by quietly asking, “would you – be comfortable to help me?” She bit her lower lip before asking, “I’ve – I’ve never been a bottom… show me. Show me what it's like to be a bottom, Atsumu.”

Atsumu’s eyes bulged out, “sh – show you?” He inhaled sharply as he closed his eyes to absorb her request. He paced back and forth in their living room before clarifying, “say that one more time? What are you asking me to do?” He needed a second confirmation.

“Atsumu,” Y/n called his name, it flowed like soft butter from the tip of her tongue. “I’m in heat right now and I want you to show me what it feels like to be a bottom…” she paused, “if that makes you feel uncomfortable I can go ask –“ She was suddenly tugged onto her feet and pressed against his chest. She felt his hardness press against her abdomen and her eyes widened, breath hitching.

“All you need is me,” Atsumu’s eyes suddenly become dark as he stares at her lips. “I will show you how to be a bottom, Y/n.”

.

“You’re breaking my heart here, Y/n,” Atsumu growled softly against her nipple. Three of his long and thick fingers have been thrust back and forth inside her pussy. “Am I doing a shit job that I can’t even make you moan for me?”

Y/n shook her head, her knuckles had turned white from gripping his comforters tightly. She let out a heavy breath, “no – no… it feels…”

“Feels?...”

“Fucken amazing…” she finished, opening her eyes. “I’ve… never felt this bliss before…” her back arched when Atsumu’s fingers curled and fastened.

“Nope,” Atsumu chuckled when she tried to close her legs. “Keep these beautiful legs open, wide open for me.” He shifts his large, toned body to fit in between her legs. He withdrew his fingers to stroke his cock.

Atsumu still couldn’t believe that Y/n has never had a heat before, let alone taken a cock before.

“’Tsumu,” Y/n whimpered, her fingers grazing over her wet pussy, her pussy ached to be stuffed, filled in ways she never imagined before.

Since finding out she is a hybrid at the age of 16, her gender has always been alpha-dominant. She has never experienced a heat since discovering her hybrid gender even though she was capable of adapting to both genders.

Unlike most, Y/n had no problem attracting either gender but she had preferred to be a top giver than a bottom receiver.

It wasn’t until recently, until the game of Truth or Dare with Atsumu that it had piqued her interest. She suddenly was curious about being a bottom but she did not know who she trusted enough to share that moment with. Unconsciously, she began manifesting it.

On numerous occasions, she caught herself staring at Atsumu, and it was then that she began seeing him in a different light. She considered the idea of asking him but was frequently reminded that it would alter their relationship forever.

Her request tonight was her heat speaking. During the few weeks of Atsumu being away, Y/n’s body began experiencing a change she had never felt before. Unlike the times she was going through a rut, her body was burning and throbbing at her pussy.

Y/n has never touched herself in such a way, never having to need to until now. For two nights in a row, she tossed and turned in bed until the temporary relief was her fingers dipping in between her legs and stuffing her pussy in ways she’s done to other omegas.

“Atsumu…” his name slipped from her lips unconsciously. Her eyes widened and embarrassment shamed her for calling out her friend’s name while imagining him, imagining it was his fingers stuffing her pussy.

And now three of his finger pump quickly in and out of her pussy, the mere thought of knowing it’s his fingers that is building up the pleasure is all Atsumu’s doing.

The following day, she snuck into his room and inhaled the scent in his room, filling her desire and yearning.

“Yes,” Y/n moaned, eyes rolling shut, “yes, Atsumu…”

Atsumu shifted onto his knees.  “I can’t believe you’ve never taken a cock before. I find that hard to believe,” Atsumu rubbed the tip of his cock against her clit.

Y/n herself can’t believe she hasn’t either. It may be partly because she never had a heat to begin with. Y/n sat up and reached for his cock, her eyes bewitched at the size of his cock. “It’s so… big.”

She wasn’t big and she was aware of it. The first time she spent her rut with an omega, she thought it was a disaster, not knowing what to expect but the omega had expressed how good her cock felt.

An omega once told her with a wink, “it’s now how big, it’s how you use it.”

“I won’t deny that I’ve never wondered how you would look beneath me, Y/n.” Atsumu admitted, “surely you must know you’re fucken desirable, right?” He pushed the tip of his thick cock in her, groaning when her walls tightly refuse to let him in until he compel, shoving just the tip through. “Relax for me, Y/n…” he slowly pushed back and forth, pushing more of his thick long cock into her until she has lubricated his cock, taking him easier. His eyes were transfixed at his cock disappearing into her pussy until she’s taken all of him. Looking up he sees her eyes were squeezed tightly shut, her lower lip trapped between her teeth. Reaching up he freed her swollen lower lip and smoothed it with his thumb. He pressed his thumb past her lips, “bite me instead…” His cock jerked when she clenched her teeth against his thumb. “That’s it, baby…”

Her teeth loosened and she wrapped her tongue around his thumb, sucking it.

“Fuck…” Atsumu swore before choking out a chuckle, “I’m going fuck your mouth afterward.”

Y/n freed his thumb, “promise?” her legs wrapped around his hips pressing herself upwards to him. “Hurry,” she pleaded, “fuck my pussy, ‘Tsumu…” She never thought she would hear herself say that phrase.

Atsumu didn’t need to be told twice. His body crushed her small one, sandwiching her to his bed as he hiked her legs and began thrusting into her pussy. The bed began to shake violently and the wooden bedframe creaked loudly.

Y/n’s arms encircled his neck tightly while her fingers weaved through his strands of dirty blond hair, gripping them firmly at the roots and giving it a gentle tug. Her hips rolled, meeting his powerful thrusts. She cooed and encouraged him, “yes! Yes… just like that… fuck… you’re so big, ‘Tsumu… you feel so good…”

Atsumu only hummed, his mouth busy sucking a perfect hickey against her neck. It has always made him jealous seeing other omegas mark her and now it is his turn and he is going to make sure his mark is engraved into her skin.

His hips fasten, cock repeatedly hitting her sweet spot. If it felt this wonderful already, he couldn’t imagine how it would be when he was in a rut, when his senses would be fully heightened.

“Y/n,” Atsumu groaned, sliding his tongue along her neck and to her jaw, licking along her cheek. He felt so high, in a state of bliss. Every thrust into Y/n’s pussy sent pure excitement and euphoria pulse through him. “Look at me,” he growled, and when she found his brown eyes, he leaned down and kissed her.

Their tongues tangled and eagerly danced as their mouth moved over each other hungrily.

Atsumu was finally satisfying a lingering curiosity within him, having Y/n beneath him and kissing her.

Y/n moaned his name breathlessly from his kisses, “my tummy… it feels tingly… I’m – I’m going to cum… please let me cum…”

The tightening of Y/n’s pussy and increased enhancement of her pheromone pushed Atsumu to the edge, losing the last of his control. He tightened his arms around her small body and pounded hard until the tip of his cock continue to stimulate her cervix. He badly wished he was in a rut so he could penetrate her cervix and knot her.

Breed her.

Y/n’s teeth sink into his collarbone as she comes undone, her nails digging into his shoulders as her body trembles.

Atsumu follows seconds later, filling her pussy with his hot cum.

There’s no going back, I can’t let her go now, he tells himself. He inhales her scent, feeling his cock already semi-hard once again.

.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you two in a long ass time, what have you guys been up to?” Their mutual friend, Ryuji said, gesturing to Atsumu and Y/n to take a seat in the two empty spots at the end of the table.

“Just the same stuff, training and tournaments,” Atsumu shrugged, pulling the seat for Y/n and pushing in the chair like a gentleman. “Season is wrapping up so I’ll finally get some relaxation.”

Atsumu and Y/n were oblivious to their physical intimacy, they didn’t see how their three other friend’s eyes widened as Atsumu’s body turned towards Y/n, his arm resting behind her chair and thumb rubbing circles on her upper arm. He fills her plate with food and continues updating his friends about his life.

Of course, he is keeping his relationship with Y/n out.

It has been two weeks since Y/n’s first heat, and it took almost two days for her heat to conclude and yet, neither of them has had their fill. They have fucked each other in every possible space in their apartment. Day and night, every possible moment.

They had even pulled a quickie in his car before meeting their friends.

“Be my good girl and keep my cum in you. I’ll reward you later,” Atsumu murmured breathlessly. Y/n could only nod as she squeezed her walls and slip off his cock. He assists by slipping her panties back in place before lifting her and placing her gently back in the passenger seat before slipping himself back into his pants.

Aside from Y/n’s lightly pink cheeks, he didn’t think anyone would notice their coupling.

“Are you two… seeing each other?” Their other friend Yuma carefully inquired.

Y/n was the first to calmly deny it and laugh softly, “no, why do you ask?”

The three friends, Yuma, Ryuji, and Masachi, exchange glances, silently acknowledging a shared thought but opting to not broach the subject further.

They didn’t need to.

No one would be stupid enough to even dare look her way with the way that she reeked of Atsumu’s pheromone. It unmistakably screamed she belonged to him, and him alone.

.

The minute passing was only making Atsumu anxious.

Y/n promised to be home thirty minutes ago and it was past the promised time by ten minutes.

Atsumu was aware of his behavior, the possessive behavior he harbored for Y/n. He couldn’t deny it and it only continued to manifest each passing day.

He couldn’t even blame it on his upcoming rut that only seemed to have enhanced with Y/n’s change of pheromone as of late. Atsumu couldn’t quite put his finger on it but something about her has changed and it only made him more addicted to her.

There was one thing that he knew for sure and it was that he was in love with Y/n and wanted her and only her.

.

Y/n was fully aware of Atsumu’s perilous fixation on her.

She had not meant to let their fling go on this long, or at all. It was all a mistake and now… she couldn’t undo it.

She acknowledged that he wasn’t the only one going through this change alone. Y/n too has become possessive of Atsumu. When he would come home with the scent of another omega on him, she would feel her mood turn sour.

Y/n refused to accept it but since having sex with Atsumu, she has not wanted an omega again. She came to terms that she had officially adopted the omega gender, a lot sooner than later for other hybrids. It was inevitable with the amount of sex she was having.

Studies have shown that the more dominant gender would manifest with the amount of climax and chemicals released each time. Whichever gender they possess during their highest climax constantly, their body will begin to adapt to that gender.

It was an addiction, once Y/n had a taste of being an bottom, there was no going back. She craved for Atsumu, his pheromone, his cock deep within her. She craved feeling his thick cock graze and stimulate her pussy walls. She craved being filled to the point her belly bulged.

Y/n began to be delusional. She has never wanted to be knotted so badly, she wanted Atsumu’s knot. She wanted to be bred.

Aware of her behavior and obsession with Atsumu, Y/n tried to meet other alphas… hoping any alpha would do but when she was approached by an alpha at the bar, her nose crinkled in disgust.

It was undeniable that Atsumu was all she wanted.

For a brief moment, she allowed herself to be greedy, to give in and savor all the seconds she could have with Atsumu. She convinced herself that if she took as much as she could from him, she could let him go and move on with their lives.

She fueled his obsession and possessiveness, allowing him to have his way with her, and ravish her body, mind, heart, and soul to his content. After all, she not only wanted something to remember him by but the same for him, even if it was just her body. She’ll make it so that he would only think of her when he would be with future omegas.  

They were constantly having sex everywhere and at any time, morning sex, second-morning sex, before-work sex, after-work sex, shower sex, and bedtime sex. As if they were in a constant heat and rut cycle. She was not blind to Atsumu’s attempts to mark her. Every time he took her from behind, she would freeze when his teeth would graze over her scent gland, where his teeth could puncture the sacred spot that should be reserved for her mate. Her hand would cover the spot but Atsumu has now locked her wrists together above her head.

Y/n has become weak for him, submissive per se, and allowed him to do what he pleases.

But she needed to put an end to it.

Whatever they were doing was unhealthy.

.

“Why ��� why are you doing this?” His voice wavered, his tone laced with pain.

She waited for him to return home from his daily training and as soon as he entered through their apartment doors, the bright smile he always had faded slowly as he felt the heavy atmosphere in the room. Y/n called for him to take a seat across from her before breaking both their hearts.

“We shouldn’t have even started this in the first place, ‘Tsumu.”  Y/n said calmly, but she was anything but calm.

“Don’t call me that, if you don’t want to be with me anymore you have no right to call me that!” A tear slid down his cheek. “Only the woman I love can call me that.”

Y/n held back her tears and swallowed hard before forcing the words out again. “Atsumu, this thing between us should not have even happened in the first place.”

“Why not?” he argued, “it was like you forced me or I forced you. Everything up until now has happened because we both wanted it, and both needed it. We needed each other!”

“Look at us, we know what happens when you cross that line between friends!”

“So what, we can be lovers now?” Atsumu shot back, roughly wiping his tears away. “We can be boyfriend and girlfriend and whatever more if you want, I don’t care. I just want to be with you. I just want to love you!”

As if a veil lifted, she suddenly realizes he loves her.

Y/n blinked, the tears that filled her eyes slipping down her cheeks as she heard his confession.

“You – you do? Like in a real relationship?” Y/n clarified with a careful tone. She didn’t want to misinterpret his words.

“Fuck yes. Do you want to be in a relationship? Then let’s make it official. Do you want to get married? Let’s get married. You want me to mark you, I’ll be glad to mark you to let the whole universe know you are mine…” Atsumu took steps until he was in front of her. When did she look so fragile, so small? He wrapped an arm around her back while his other hand cupped her cheek, wiping away the tear that slipped down her rosy cheek. “I want whatever you want, just as long as you are by my side. Whatever title you want, you can have it all.” He rests his forehead against hers. “But if you are to ask me, I want you as mine in every possible way.”

Y/n shut her eyes tightly. “Say it again,” her voice was barely above whispering, “say you love me again.”

“I love you, Miya Y/n.” Her eyes snapped open and Atsumu grinned, “you didn’t ask but I’m going to give you my last name, so no backs.” He rubbed the tip of his nose against hers, “tell me, Y/n… tell me you love me too.”

“I love you, Miya Atsumu. I love you.”

His life felt 99% complete, there was only that 1% left.

“Now, tell me you’re going to stay by my side for the rest of our lives?”

Y/n pressed her lips to his, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I’m going to stay by your side for the rest of our lives.”

.

Her fingers tremble as the third pregnancy test reveals the same thing, a positive result.

“No… how…” she muttered to herself. She dropped it into the garbage can and massaged her temple.

She began experiencing symptoms that she couldn’t avoid and excuse any longer.

Craving, tenderness, and fatigue.

Everything that was pointing to what she was afraid of was pregnancy.

But how? Atsumu has never knotted her.

“Pregnancy can happen without a knot, it is not as common but it can still happen if you are extremely sexually active.” The doctor raised a brow, questioning, “especially if you are not using protection. Are you sexually active? Having unprotected sex more than four times a week?”

Y/n’s ears burned and she was embarrassed to answer the question.

She and Atsumu did use condoms but would forget, losing themselves to the feeling of skin on skin. Y/n was weak to Atsumu’s begging to always cum inside her. It was to feed his ego of knowing she had a part of him inside her at all times.

Her silence and flushed cheeks were all the doctor needed to know. “The chance of conceiving is much higher if you and your partner are extremely active, which is the case since you said your partner has yet to knot you?”

“That is correct,” Y/n answered meekly.

“With this confirmed pregnancy, there is a high percentage of you becoming an official omega.” They explained that Y/n would no longer be a hybrid, and would no longer have any alpha traits.

The doctor placed a booklet before her titled New Mommy and What to Expect and went through it briefly.

Y/n cleared her throat before asking, “my… partner is due for his rut soon… would it be okay to be knotted while… pregnant?”

Her doctor nodded and flipped to page 8, with big and bold letters at the top: Knotting during pregnancy. “You should be fine, if anything, your body will need your partner’s semen to nourish your pregnancy.”

.

Y/n shivered feeling the heavy pheromone throughout the apartment. Now, it made sense as to why she had been sensitive to his pheromone lately, her pregnancy hormones had enhanced all her senses. “Atsumu?”

Before she could check the kitchen, strong arms enveloped her in a tight bear hug. His hot body heat penetrated through her clothing and she was swallowed wholly by his pheromone at straight physical contact.

His nose buried into her neck as he inhaled sharply, “what took you so long?”

He knew of her appointment but it did run slightly longer than she anticipated.

Before she could answer him, he picked her up, throwing her over his shoulders and carrying her to his bedroom.

Y/n blinked, hands pressed against his lower back to steady herself… and at the same time comprehend the sight in front of her.

Atsumu’s bare ass. He was completely naked.

She is dropped onto his bed and is immediately pressed against the mattress with Atsumu’s body which somehow feels larger than usual, she feels so small under his body.

His mouth is hot and heavy on hers, his fingers already pulling and ripping off her clothes just to feel her naked flesh against his.

Y/n gasped, feeling his cock pressed against her abdomen, it sent a jolt to her pussy and she instantly felt herself wet.

Atsumu straddled her small body but kept his weight off of her. The only weight he had on her was the weight of his cock and heavy sacks against her lower abdomen. His eyes are glowing gold and dilated, a trait of an alpha in a rut cycle.

“Y/n,” he groaned, rocking his cock against her bare skin, seeking any sort of physical touch. He was fighting against losing control, he didn’t want to scare or hurt her. “I don’t want to hurt you… but my rut cycle… it can – I’ve been told I’m too rough… I might hurt you…”

Y/n cupped his cheek, “you will never hurt me, ‘Tsumu…”

He nuzzled against their palm, pressing a kiss to it. “I’m happy to hear… You’re made for me... right? You can take my everything I give you, right?”

She nodded her head like an obediently, eager to please. “Yes. Yes, I am made for you. I will take everything you give me, ‘Tsumu.” She widened her legs, offering herself to him, “hurry, give me your knot.”

Her approval and request are all Atsumu needed to hear to be tipped over the edge, to allow his rut cycle to take over and please Y/n.

He flipped her over onto her tummy and lift her ass, his palm came down onto her left cheek, making her yelp before moaning. He rubs his more than ready cock along her slits before pushing it deep within her warm pussy, stretching her to accommodate his rut-size cock.

Atsumu leaned over her, his whole body wrapped around hers from behind as he pressed a light kiss below her ear, murmuring, “relax for me…”

Y/n’s buried face against his comforters helped her control her breathing as she tried to accommodate the size change of his cock, something that was march larger and thicker than usual. Atsumu was already large and thick in the first place, but his rut-size cock was on another level.

“That’s it baby,” he cooed, feeling her ease up. He wasted no time ramming his cock, groaning as he nudged her cervix opening that immediately began spreading. “I’m going to knot you, baby. Give you the knot you deserve.” He leaned back, straightening himself before scooting them to the edge of the bed. He stepped off but kept Y/n remaining at the edge of the bed with her ass still in the same position, with that, he ram his knock repeatedly.

The bed squeaked along with the clapping of their skin on skin.

Atsumu’s fingers dug deeper into Y/n’s hips, pulling her back to meet his thrusts hard and fast, his cock stimulating quickly each time the tip of his cock would touch her cervix opening.

It wasn’t as common to knot on the first time but Atsumu is positive he will knot her. Her cervix has already propped open, encouraging and readily welcoming his knot.

And he will happily oblige.

He withdrew quickly, smirking at her whimper of emptiness. Flipping her onto her back, he smiled down at her and swiftly filled her with his cock once more. “I need to see your face the first time that I knot you.”

Her eyes enlarged, knowing knotting rarely occurred on the first try, at least for her during her rut cycle days.

“Your cervix has already opened for me,” he whispered hotly, fastening his hips. “Your body is ready for me, for my knot.”

Her eyes rolled back as he confirmed it, the tip of his cock pushed past her opening and locked in place. A loud moan escapes from Y/n’s lips as she tightens and curls against him.

His sack emptied its load of cum deep, filling her womb, breeding her.

Atsumu has been impatient, wanting to impregnate her soon, wanting to see her full and round. Wanting to meet their children who will take after Y/n.

He groaned in pain and pleasure. It was true to the rumors, knotting the person you love was different in all the best way possible. The intimate bond was indescribable.

His thumb massaged deep circles into her hip, trying to distract her from the pain of his knot. “You did so well, you’re taking my knot so well…” he murmured, pressing light kisses all over her face.

Atsumu is suddenly hit with a self-awareness of being selfish. He had never even discussed it with her about children yet, here, he had knotted her. It was a 99% chance of guaranteed pregnancy.

He dropped his head beside her and muttered an apology.

“Why are you sorry?” Y/n asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

He rolled them onto his back with her above him. He avoided her eyes, “I knotted you without asking if you would be okay with… being pregnant…” His eyes closed, unable to witness the expression she might give him.

“Atsumu, look at me.”

His eyes snapped open at the tone of her voice, one he had never heard her use on him. Panic surged through him as he searched her eyes. His eyes suddenly fell on her tits, noticing they looked slightly bigger than he remembered.

“My eyes, Atsumu, look at me.”

With flushed cheeks, he reverted his gaze to hers and swallowed. She shifted over his cock, his knot already begun to deflate.

“I had wanted to announce this much differently but… there’s no better time to announce it than now,” she giggled and reached for his hands and pressed them against her belly. “You see, I’m already pregnant.”

Atsumu’s world froze as he processed her last sentence. “Come – come again?”

Leaning down, she pressed her lips to his, “I’m already pregnant, Atsumu. We’re expecting.” Her eyes widened as she squealed, pressing her hands against his strong muscles. “Atsumu!” she shrieked. Atsumu’s cock that was still inside her had instantly become erect once again.

He groaned and pulled her down flushed against him. “My cock is just as excited…” That meant he would get to have all the raw sex, knowing his duty now is to supply her body with all his cum. Rocking his hips he slowly thrusts into her, ignoring how each time he withdrew, his cum would leak.

Y/n pushed against his chest until she settled on her elbows, trapping his head in between them. Her face hovers over his, “the doctor says my gender has officially changed, I’m an omega now. So, no more rut-cycles for me.”

“Good, you’re my omega now,” Atsumu thrust upward, his hand came around the back of her head and pressed her lips against his, “only mine.”

. . .

E/n: :)

>>> @queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy

[bengiyo]

The Knowing: Being Queer in BL

I’ve been talking about The Knowing a lot lately with @lurkingshan @waitmyturtles @ginnymoonbeam and @shortpplfedup and so I felt it was time to gather all those thoughts into one place.

I define The Knowing as “growing up and suffering with the knowledge that you are queer (specifically that you are not like other kids) and understanding that you must keep that knowledge to yourself.”

Part of what initially drew me to BL was how often many of these shows took place in what @absolutebl calls “The Bubble” where cultural and structural homophobia is less prevalent or nonexistent. Many of these stories are about guys learning something about themselves for the first time when it comes to being attracted to other men. However, I always find myself drawn to the characters that clearly Knew who they were a long time ago. What’s interesting about these characters is that many of them carry an intense sadness and loneliness that plagues them and their relationships.

I am in my mid-30s. I’ve had to unlearn a lot of language over the decades. When I first realized I was different from other kids I was eight years old. I was a lot like Chiron in Moonlight (2016) asking the question, “What’s a faggot?” I wish I’d had someone like Juan around to say, “A faggot is a word used to make gay people feel bad.” To which Chiron asked, “Am I a faggot?” and Juan quickly corrected. “Nah. You can be gay, but you ain’t gotta let nobody call you no faggot.” I know it’s hard for some of you to read slurs written out so plainly, but I grew up with them being part of the day-to-day language used by kids around me. If you instinctively recoiled at me typing the word four times, imagine experiencing that constantly for your entire adolescence while also fearing the consequences of being discovered by your peers. That’s what I survived. That’s what some of these boys survived.

Before I learned other words, I thought I was weird or broken. I knew I was drawn to boys before I even hit puberty, but I didn’t have language for existing on the ace-spectrum until I joined Tumblr in the early 2010s. Before that I just thought there was something wrong with me. When we see a character in BL who has clearly been gay for a long time, I find myself examining the environment around them to see if they suffered The Knowing.

The worst part of The Knowing is for the boys who can pass as straight if they try hard enough. I always talk about how I think femmes are stronger than those of us (like me) who can pass. They face the public scrutiny of being queer and the danger of that constantly. People like me often go unnoticed unless we’re amongst our peers or explicitly tell people who we are.

I’m writing this post as a love letter to the boys who suffered the Knowing. Sometimes these characters get a bad reputation in fandom for being boring or sad sacks, but they are the characters I love the most. I’d like to talk about some of my favorite boys who Knew. Unsurprisingly, the exact kind of melancholy Japan is willing to play with means they have strong presence on this list.

Korn (Until We Meet Again)

Korn is the character who began my discussion about this in a conversation with @wen-kexing-apologist about Kao’s acting. I pointed out that the saddest thing about Korn in Until We Meet Again is that he knew what he was going to do the entire time. The tragedy of UWMA is that Korn loved Intouch and let him in, and unfortunately learned that Intouch’s love couldn’t fix the horrors that plagued him. You can see it in Kao’s eyes for the entire show whenever we see the In and Korn flashbacks. He suffers under the weight of masculine expectation and crumbles.

The Entire Cast of What Did You Eat Yesterday?

WDYEY is all about characters who Knew. Kenji and Wataru may have been unable to pass and have chosen to accept who they are, but we know Wataru suffered for it because of his feelings about family. Shiro hid who he was for a very long time, and still hides it from most people. His trauma from The Knowing regularly threatens his relationship with Kenji. Kohinata also clearly knew who he was the entire time, and works diligently for the life he’s built for himself. So much of this show is about being gay in a world that does not value us.

Book, Christina, and Yok (Make It Right)

Book is actively victimized because of The Knowing. He left his previous school and doesn’t live with his family because he was outed by a past boyfriend, and is disowned after revenge porn of him is posted.

Both Chrstina and Yok are femme and cannot pass. Unlike many of the boys in this show figuring out who they are, they are trying to survive without losing themselves.

Li Ming (Moonlight Chicken)

Li Ming has a gay uncle and still suffers The Knowing. He is hiding his attraction from everyone until he develops feelings for Heart.

Itou Akira (Life: Love on the Line)

We experienced the entire arc of this man’s life and how much The Knowing crushed him. This is probably the most The Knowing character on the list.

Oumi Mitsuru (Eternal Yesterday)

Oumi has such a frank expression of The Knowing and how much it hurts that he likes Koichi but feels like he can’t express it.

Takahashi Satoru (Koisenu Futari)

The man literally blogs about The Knowing, and it’s how Sakuko began to understand herself. He has a questionnaire prepared to help you figure out how long you’ve Known.

Ren (Tokyo in April Is…)

I wrote multiple posts about Ren and his experience with The Knowing. So much of what goes wrong for them is because Ren couldn’t believe that Kazuma could like him, too, and he knowingly faced the consequences of being discovered to save Kazuma’s life.

Pete (Love by Chance)

Pete knows who he is and can’t change it. Trump uses this against him. Pete doesn’t want Ae to be gay like him and suffer with the realities of being a Known Gay. Pete has one of the first coming out scenes in BL that I really enjoyed.

Cairo (Gameboys)

Cairo was clearly struggling with Knowing, and his close friend took his coming out from him. Cairo is a brat, but goddamn do I appreciate some of his angst.

See-eiw (My Only 12%)

He watched The Love of Siam (2007) and had a complete emotional breakdown as he was finally able to name his feelings for Cake. Top-tier expression of The Knowing.

Shin (3 Will Be Free)

I mean, we don’t have to look much further than his entire sad existence and being pushed into sex with a prostitute in the first episode. Also there’s, “It wasn’t that you didn’t like boys. You just didn’t like me.” Shin is the only boy in BL-adjacent media to suffer a specific version of The Knowing: being rejected and discarded by your own people in a homophobic way so they could stay closeted.

Phupha (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

Phupha’s entire romantic angst is built around The Knowing and what others seeing him for who he is will do for him.

Pran (Bad Buddy)

Though Bad Buddy exists in The Bubble, Pran has one of the most painful versions of The Knowing I’ve ever experienced because his is wrapped up in family angst and an unrequited crush.

Lee Wan (Our Dating Sim)

Lee Wan suffered The Knowing and broke things with his best friend after confessing. The Knowing destroyed his ability to see a version of his life where he and Shin Kitae overcame the upcoming challenges together and so he takes that choice from Kitae. Crushing.

Ueda Minoru (Our Dining Table)

Minoru is so familiar with The Knowing that he preemptively breaks up with Yutaka after kissing him.

Kiyoi (My Beautiful Man)

The reveal that Kiyoi already knew who he was and noticed Hira the entire time? Beautiful. One of the best reveals in J-BL history.

Minato (Minato’s Laundromat)

This man is one of the sadder examples of The Knowing because he’s in a place where he understands who he is now, but the internalized homophobia cripples almost all of his romantic and closer relationships.

Han Baram (Sing My Crush)

This boy is suffering so much from The Knowing that his love confession song is literally titled “Letter of Apology.”

Oh-aew (I Told Sunset About You)

He Knew. “Are you proud of me?”

Noh Shinwoo and Shin Daon (Light On Me)

Noh Shinwoo clearly suffered The Knowing and was discovered. His bullies still plague him on the streets when they see him. Shin Daon was not surprised by his attraction to Woo Taekyung; he struggled with his parents expectations.

Nagisa (His: I Didn’t Mean to Fall in Love)

Nagisa definitely Knew who he was and was probably going to stay quiet about it until Shun showed up in his life. What upsets me so much about Nagisa is that he is the one who leaves Shun later in the movie after pulling queerness out of Shun.

The Secret Crush on You Quartet

All four of them get a spot on this list for The Knowing. Toh, Kaojao, and Daisy clearly suffered The Knowing, and Som has clearly taken care of them for a long time.

Rocky and Judah (Quaranthings)

I love that these two explore The Knowing from a class perspective. Judah is wealthier and eventually comes out, but Rocky is poor and struggles with it a lot longer.

Han Tae Joo and Kang Gook (Where Your Eyes Linger)

The Knowing, bodyguard edition. The yearning between the two of these is palpable. It hurts that they can’t even talk to each other about it.

Mafuyu (Given)

He Knew and lost his boyfriend to The Knowing.

Kim Dong Hee (Unintentional Love Story)

He won’t acknowledge Go Ho Tae’s feelings because he feels a sense of loyalty to Ho Tae’s mom for taking care of him after his parents disowned him over the gay thing. Huge case of The Knowing.

Edit: New Additions October 7, 2023.

Nekoyashiki Mamoru (Kabe-Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized)

He describes a textbook case of the Knowing and finding community at the convention.

Zo (Hidden Agenda)

He definitely Knew, and got messed over by his friends badly for it.

Yuuki (Me, My Husband, and My Husband's Boyfriend)

We almost lost Yuuki to the Knowing.

All of the Eclipse Gays

Literally all of them. The entire show is about how fascism turns queer people into agents working against their own community.

Joe (The Warp Effect)

He clearly Knew before his encounter with Army, and he also suffered for being outed.

[delulustateofmind]

Married to the Lord of Bloodshed (One-shot)

A/N: OMG! Thank you all for so much love on the Azriel one. I am literally SHOCKED.

**fair warning: it is unedited, like a rough draft like the last one as I am working on both the series as well. Just had a lot of fun with it!**

Summary: collections of being married to Cassian! Married for fifty years :) 

Word count: 1.6k

triggers: Mentions of intimacy, lots of pet names-like LOTS, that's about it!

***

You, an unlikely match, found yourself married to the formidable Illyrian warrior, Cassian, general of the Night Court. Fifty years of a beautiful marriage under your belt. Meeting at a party that somehow left you both discovering you were mates. Cassian was a completely different male when he was around you compared to how he was at the Illyrian camps. 

Among your cherished moments together…

After a long day working as a healer for the court, your muscles tense. Cassian would very much enjoy rubbing out your sore muscles. You knew he did this to lead to other things.

As you would lay on the bed, flat on your back. Cassian lifts one of your legs to rest on his shoulder as he rubs your calf. With a mischievous smirk, he murmured, “Baby let me take care of you.” The feeling of his rough calloused hands rubbing out your sore muscles from standing all day. You couldn’t help but laugh, attempting to retract your leg from the ticklish sensation.

“Baby, that tickles,” Cassian smirks in response as he applies more pressure. “You think this tickles, I haven’t even started yet” he murmurs as he presses a thumb to your tight calf muscle as he rubs a knot out and notices your reaction as you cover your face. 

“How are your muscles looking? Still sore? Maybe you should take off a few days, you’ve been working really hard. I could stay with you and keep you company.” his gaze meets yours as his hand seems to have traveled to your thigh. 

“Well I’ve been going to this new workout studio before work in the mornings, it’s this new workout called pilates” a soft laugh escaping your lips as he reaches a more tense area in your thigh. His smirk fades a little as he looks at you. 

“You’ve been going to the gym before work? Baby, you work like hours on end. Are you trying to run that body of yours to the ground? It’s beautiful and deserves to be cared for” Cassian states as he leans closer to you pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I never complained about you working so much, but sometimes you worry me. Try to take it easy okay? Maybe we can have a relaxing weekend together, just us, maybe go to the river?” He smiles down at you as he pulls you closer to himself. You knew where this was leading, as soon as his hands moved across your thigh and onto your hips to pull you flush against him as he kissed your lips. “How about I make you feel good tonight, hm? I’ll be gentle” He smirks with a kiss.

***

However, one thing that really was a bummer was being married to a super health-conscious Illyrian. Going to the market was a challenge. Sure you enjoyed that your mate looked out for you. Picking the best fruits and vegetables to cook healthy delicious meals with. 

But sometimes a girl just wants two different types of cake and maybe some cookies. Your monthly was probably starting soon but the sugar cravings were at an all-time high. Yes, Cassian would obviously let you pick up one. Not two, no no, just one. He said too many sweets would burn you out…I mean he was right, but it still sucked to admit it. 

“Mamas, just pick one” Cassian chuckled as he carried the bags of food. Looking at you with a smile as you stood there for the past twenty minutes. Carefully. Picking out the one sweet treat you were allowed for the week. 

You pleaded to him as if you were begging for your life. “My love, it’s so hard, can’t we get the fancy cake and the cheesecake?” You shot him a look that even a puppy would fall for, almost begging for your mate to indulge in your cravings. Pointing at the beautifully decorated chocolate cake that sat right next to its best friend, the cheesecake with the pretty little strawberries sitting on top that just went into season. “I mean look they’re best friends, baby? It’s like you and Azriel, we can’t just break them up”

Cassian smirked looking at you, trying to put up a ‘no’ look for you but the male was weak. You knew he couldn’t say no to your cute pleading face. So the moment you looked up at him, he rolled his eyes.

“Fine. But only this, one time.” He teased with mock sternness, his voice low and playful “Only, because you brought up a compelling argument” 

“I have never loved you more than I have in this very moment, Pookie” You gave him a big smile as you motioned the baker over to box up both the chocolate cake and the cheesecake. 

Cassian was just going to roll his eyes, but he couldn’t say no to his wife’s charms. He looked at you and chuckled, not saying anything as you walked out of the store. Grabbing the bag from you and following you. Though he did make sure to give your ass a tiny pinch on the way out.

“Pookie? I swear you’re going to be the death of me some days, I have a reputation to uphold, you know!” he teased as he walked with you. You both had to pick up a few more items before heading home for the day…

***

Mornings were never your thing you despised mornings. You always opted for the afternoon or night shift when you had to work. Cassian on the other hand was a ray of sunshine in the mornings. Though, he never cared that you didn’t work out with him. Your mate just cared that you would at least move around a bit, whether that was doing yoga with Feyre or taking dance lessons over at the Rainbow. He trained you in self-defense when you first started dating. His wife needed to be able to protect herself at least. 

You unfortunately had the morning shift today. A grumpy walk on the way home, you could winnow home. But, you needed the walk to cool yourself down. A walk down the streets of Velaris led you to a new studio that had just opened with the word  ‘Zumba’ written on the glass.  You peeked in to find music flowing out and a bunch of what seemed like moms dancing. 

Sounds like a good time! 

There were two open spots for tonight. You signed both your and Cassian’s names onto the sign-up sheet. Though you hadn’t asked him yet, you were sure you could be convincing enough. 

Entering his office, you found Cassian engrossed in paperwork for the Illyrian camps. “Baby, my love, my sweet honey bear, snookums” you whispered in his ear as you leaned over his shoulder. Carefully not pressing weight down on his wings. 

A soft hum escaped his lips as he reached for your hand. Pressing a small kiss on your palm as he kept reading a document for supplies. “What is it my love” he murmured clearly not paying attention to you. 

“There’s this class going on tonight and I would really love you if you would join me,” you kissed his ear and then his neck. “Pretty please”

“Mm, what sort of class?” He hummed. Although Cassian would agree to anything for you, he couldn’t help but find your sweetness after work unusual, yet endearing. Usually, you were a snapping turtle, especially once you discover soon that he ate the last piece of cake while you were at work. 

“It’s like a workout class with live music, seems fun right? Please baby…pretty please my big strong Illyrian male that I love so much” you whined as you kissed his neck with peppered kisses. Use your other hand to rub his chest. 

“Yeah, we can go, let me get ready then” just the confirmation you needed. You pulled away from him and with a happy smile, just about to leave him to his paperwork. Before you knew it, Cassian had swept you off your feet, a playful gesture that spoke of what was to come when he carried you over his shoulder to your shared bedroom. 

****

Stepping into the ‘Zumba’ studio, Cassian realized that facing war and bloodshed paled in comparison to the challenge of dancing with a group of determined mothers on a Tuesday night. These females seemed as if they were ready for war. Strapped with their sweatbands and their workout clothes. Cassian was definitely out of place, a few of the fae women gave him curious glances as he stood in the back. The mirrors clearly show him towering over everyone, his massive wings were tucked close to his body, straining as if they sought freedom from the small studio. His small wife was beside him, grinning ear to ear as she looked up at him full of excitement. 

How could he refuse when she looked that happy?

As the class concluded, Cassian found himself drenched in sweat, a testament to the intensity of the workout. Sure, he was in perfect shape, he’s had about 500 years of training. Of course, he was a fit male. 

But this tortuous dance class had him wheezing and gasping for air while these moms did the cardio squats like it was nothing. A few of the moms even gave him some fist bumps, humbling the poor lord of bloodshed. 

Grabbing your hand as you both left the studio, a smile formed and tugged on his lips as he reluctantly said, “Mamas, I need one of those pinky drinks you love so much.” Wiping the sweat from his brow, he looked at you expecting to lead the way to your favorite cafe.

[hoedamn-eron]

bluey!

Nathan discovers your son’s favourite show.

Warnings: As always, Nathan is a warning. No offence to Miss Rachel or anyone who uses Miss Rachel (I’ve personally never watched her, just needed Nathan to be a dick). Hints of infertility (from this episode of Bluey). Teeny tiny mention of parental anxiety of meeting milestones (from this episode of Bluey). Not proofread this time. Word count: 1,238 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.

Yet another self indulgent fic about dad!Nathan. Set in the same universe as Shut Up, Kid, but can be read as a stand-alone. This also was only meant to be a quick one shot but it turned out to be over 1k 😂.

Nathan Bateman was a fucking genius.

He built the code for Blue Book when he was thirteen years old.

He used to think himself a God. He could build realistic androids, for Christ's sake (not anymore, not since ‘The Incident’).

And because of this, he finds it hard to ‘switch off’. His brain was always moving a million miles a minute, constantly filled with thoughts of how to improve the company, and now that he’s a dad, it just added another thing to think about. And he isn’t complaining about having to think about Silas – he loves the kid, would do anything for him – but at the same time...it is just another thing to keep his brain busy.

Like today.

You come walking into his office (the door is open most days now), holding Silas on your hip, his favourite pacifier in his mouth, and carrying as many toys as you could in your other hand.

“Can you watch him for an hour, please?”

You see Nathan’s shoulders slump before you’ve even finished asking, and you ignore the spark of irritation that sits uncomfortably in your chest as Nathan turns his chair to look at you. You know he’s busy, but you’re busy too; you’ve been called in for a virtual meeting, on your maternity leave, no less, with the department heads – you know they wouldn’t appreciate a noisy baby in the background (despite the fact you want to make a point that they requested you...on your maternity leave).

Besides, Nathan doesn’t have any tight deadlines right now. He’s the CEO, he can push anything back whenever he damn well pleases anyway.

“Nathan, he’ll just sit and watch his TV show for a bit, it’s only an hour.”

Nathan sighs, and you tense at it.

He makes a mental note to make up for it later.

“Okay,” he says, and without looking at him, you walk over to the rug in his office, sitting Silas down on it before placing the toys around him, in easy reach for him.

You turn on the TV and place Bluey on, before walking over to Nathan’s desk and placing the remote on it. You give a swift, “See you in an hour,” before hurrying out to make your meeting.

Nathan gives a quick look to Silas, who – in your defence – was still, watching the TV, sucking away on his pacifier. Satisfied, Nathan turns back to his computer, his eyes drifting over to Silas every now and then before turning back to his screens. The noise from the TV fades into the background, until one particular line jumps out at Nathan.

“Magic Claw has no children. His days are free and easy.”

Nathan huffed a laugh through his nose. He couldn’t agree more. He glanced at the TV then back at Silas before turning back to his computer.

After a while, another line came through, causing him to chuckle again.

“Can I help you?”

“I wish you could, mate.”

Eventually, when he hears the characters talking about – what he thinks is – wanting kids and being unable to have them, he turns his full attention to the TV.

“What the fuck are you watchin’?” Nathan asks before standing and slipping his hands in his pockets as he saunters over to stand behind Silas.

Nathan stands and watches the family of cartoon dogs; Bluey and her sister, Bingo, and their parents, Chilli and Bandit. He watches with a furrowed brow for a moment, wondering how this was his son’s favourite show (it was probably all the colours). And he guesses the theme tune was a little catchy. And sure, Silas didn’t quite understand it, but the dialogue was funny.

“This is better than some of the other shit you watch,” Nathan said, bending down and picking Silas up, without taking his eyes off the TV. “That whiney black bunny you watch? Hate him. The Teletubbies? Also awful. I don’t understand why your mom thinks it’s a classic.”

Silas made a small noise around his pacifier and pointed to the TV.

“Yeah, she your favourite?” Nathan asks, looking at Silas. “What’s her name again? Bingo?”

Silas makes another noise, almost as if confirming with Nathan, still pointing at the TV.

Nathan nodded anyway. “Okay, okay, gotcha.”

After a moment, Nathan stood holding Silas, the two of them watching Bluey together.

Your meeting overran.

By nearly 45 minutes.

Nathan was going to be pissed.

You speed-walk to his office, ready to blurt out an apology (even though it wasn’t your fault the meeting went over), but you stop mid step when you hear Nathan say to Silas, “I think she’s sleeping with the neighbour.”

Your brow furrows in confusion as you hear him, then Silas babble back.

“Oh yeah, you agree? They’re too friendly, right?”

You slowly walk into the Nathan’s office, seeing him standing with his bank to you on the rug, holding Silas in his arms as they watched Bluey together. Nathan was lightly swaying, almost as if he didn’t realise he was doing it.

You sucked in your lips, holding back a laugh. You didn’t want to ruin the moment.

“You better not turn out like Muffin, she’s insane,” Nathan said. “I’ll love you regardless, but still.”

Your heart skipped a beat, like it did every time you heard those words come out of his mouth. It wasn’t as if Nathan had never said ‘I love you’, but he…struggles…to express his emotions that aren’t irritability or exasperation. But with Silas, it came naturally to him. He never failed to say ‘I love you’ to his son (of course, Nathan does say it to you, but he understands you’re a ‘full-grown adult who can identify acts of love’; his words).

You’re brought out of your reverie as a new episode of Bluey started, the theme music kicking in. Your eyes widen and you laugh quietly as Nathan starts lightly jumping around to the music, Silas laughing and kicking his legs excitedly.

“I’m watching the footage back to this,” you say.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” Nathan says, jumping as he whirls around to look at you. “Announce yourself, would you?”

“You, uh…” you say, still grinning. “You watching Bluey?” you look at Silas, who smiles at you and kicks his legs in excitement. “You watching Bluey with dada? Does dada like Bluey?”

“This is fuckin’ great,” he says, giving you a pointed look. “So much better than that Miss Rachel, or whatever her name is. She’s fuckin’ annoying.”

“Excuse me, she’s very educational!”

“She’s overdoing it. The kid will learn to talk fine with just us.”

“His first word will probably be something inappropriate,” you say. “Like fuck. Or asshole.”

Nathan doesn’t reply as he turns back to the TV. You come and stand next to him, watching the episode with him. It’s the one where Chilli was telling Bluey about how she was worried that Bluey wasn’t going to meet her milestones, but Coco’s mom had told her she was doing an amazing job. It was one of your favourite episodes.

“I’ve been stood here for an hour watching these,” Nathan said quietly. “It’s nice.”

“Just standing and swaying with him?” you ask gently.

“Yeah,” Nathan said simply, not expanding.

You nod, before leaning against him a little. You feel him push back at you.

You stand together and watch a few more seconds of Bluey before you ask, “So you think Chilli and Lucky’s dad are going at it?”

“Oh they definitely are.”

[specialagentlokitty]

Zuko x reader - the right side

Hi! I just recently discovered your blog and I’ve been loving your writing so much! I would like to request a part two to your Zuko x Reader - The Right Side. It’s so well done and I’m curious to see what happens after Zuko and the reader reconnect :) - Anon💜

Part two:

He slowly stood up and stepped out from the group, he looked at you, and you stared at him intently. It made him shiver the way you looked at him.

Your gaze was so full of fury, hatred, sadness, betrayal.

So many things Zuko thought he would never see in your eyes again, he never thought it would ever be directed at him.

“Why are you here?” You spat.

“I’m here to help, I swear. I want to teach Aang Fire bending.” He said

You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest as you carried on gazing at him.

Zuko gulped a little as he dared to take a small step forward, and then another.

He kept going until you kicked your leg out, sending a line of fire directly in his path which he barely managed to dodge.

“(Y/N) don’t!” Aang rushed out.

You turned to Aang, frowning heavily but you lowered your hands and took a few steps towards the avatar.

You were furious with Zuko, and they all knew it.

“Go calm down.” Katara whispered.

“Come on, I’ll come with you.” Toph said.

She led you a way from everyone and Zuko watched in sadness as you left.

“She hates me…” he mumbled.

“She doesn’t hate you, she just needs time, that’s all.” Katara smiled.

“Yeah, (Y/N) can’t hate anyone, trust me!” Aang beamed.

Zuko looked over at them then turned to Sokka who gave a small shrug.

“I’ll be honest, she could hate you. You nearly killed her, betrayed her and just left her. She’s pretty mad man.”

“Sokka!” Katara hissed.

“No, no. I need to hear the truth.” Zuko said softly.

Zuko left, and for the rest of the night no one saw him, or you or Toph.

The earth bender came back before you, saying that you decided to head back to your room last night and she decided to go to bed, but she hadn’t heard from you since then.

Everything went to hell pretty quickly, from the killer Zuko hired showing up, and Azula appearing out of nowhere you guys had to fight for your lives to get out.

And you decided to sit up with Aang away from the fire Prince.

“Just talk to him.” Aang spoke softly.

“Not a chance.”

“(Y/N) he’s really trying. He feels bad for what he did and he wants to apologise, the first step to moving forward is to forgive.”

“I love you Aang, but you’re to oblivious to how to world works. It’s all good and well to pretend everything can be fixed with a simply apology but it can’t.”

Aang sighed, turning to look at you.

“You’re right, it can’t. But it’s a start, right? It will be great to be able to take some of that weight from your shoulders and throw it away. No one says you have to talk to him after that, you just have to hear him out.”

“I’m sorry Aang, but no.”

Even as you guys landed, he tried to keep convincing you to talk to Zuko, but you weren’t having it.

Sokka and Toph had asked asked you to just listen to what Zuko had to say, though Toph’s only reason was so she didn’t have to hear him complaining about it anymore.

Katara came over and sat next to you on the rock you had perched yourself on.

“If you’re here to tell me to forgive Zuko don’t bother.”

“I’m not.”

You turned to her slightly shocked.

“I understand why you’re angry, why you don’t want to talk to him or forgive him. You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“Thanks Katara.” You smiled.

She nodded and left, and you carried on looking out over the horizon.

Someone else sat next to you and immediately you stood up and started to walk away.

“Please! I’ll do anything! Just let me explain!” He begged.

“You want me to listen to you? Fine. I challenge you to an Agni kai.” You snapped.

“No!” Aang yelled.

The trio rushed over, trying to stop what was about to happen.

“If that’s what you want then okay. I accept.” Zuko nodded.

No one could stop this, they knew the rules, they couldn’t stop it, they couldn’t help either of you, they just had to watch it play out.

And they knew there was only so many outcomes.

Either you hurt Zuko bad enough for him to feel your pain, or you would be so blinded but your anger for him you would try your best to kill him.

You and Zuko stood opposite each other, and you stripped yourself of Iroh’s cloak before handing it to Katara to look after.

“Please go easy.” She whispered.

Saying nothing, you stepped back in front of Zuko, and he just stared at you.

You threw the first attack, pushing your hands forward to create a massive surge of flames straight at the Prince.

He easily deflected your attack, and carried on standing there, so you attacked again.

Kicking your leg in the air you sent attack after attack after attack.

All of which he deflected.

“Fight me you coward!” You yelled.

“No.”

You yelled and ran over to him, attempting to punch him but he dodged it, and so you tried to knock his legs from under him, but he dodged that as well.

“Fight me!”

“No! I won’t hurt you!” He yelled.

Zuko breathed heavily as he dodged your attacks.

Usually you were so well coordinated, you thought your attacks out carefully that you were able to knock him down easily.

But this time you were so blinded by your emotions that you were just attacking blindly, you were messy and desperate.

“Why won’t you fight me!?”

“Because I refuse to hurt you!”

Zuko grabbed your arm as you lunged at him, spinning you around so you were behind him and let go.

You stumbled a few steps and turned around.

You were heaving for air, hands on your knees as your eyes locked with his.

“Why not? You already have, May as well finish the job right?” You sneered.

“N..no.. no that’s not what I want…”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you turned around and started to walk away.

“Fine.”

Zuko sighed with relief, as did everyone else.

The battle was over, Zuko never once threw an attack, and you had finally called it off as you started to walk away.

In a split second, you spun around, kicking your leg up in the air, you sent a rope of fire at Zuko.

He barely managed to dodge it thanks to everyone calling his name, and he fell to the floor.

Running over, you took a deep breath and stared down at him as you stood above him.

Slowly you raised your hand towards the sky, crackling sounding at the tips of your fingers, and blue lightening started to build up.

“(Y/N) NO!” Sokka yelled.

“DONT!” Aang and Katara begged.

Toph tried to put up a wall between you and the Prince but she couldn’t, you were stood right over him, and she couldn’t put the earth between you both.

Zuko looked between you and the lightening in pure horror.

For you to do this it meant that you were sound of mind, you knew what you were doing, and you knew exactly what it was you were about to do as well.

As you stared at Zuko, you could register the fear in his eyes, the fear and regret.

The same thing you felt on that night he had attacked you, the pure fear running through your veins.

You had promised yourself you would never hurt anyone, you swore to yourself that you would protect people and keep them safe.

“If you want to do this… then that’s okay…” Zuko whispered.

You pointed your other hand at him, the charge was nearly finished.

Zuko gave you a sad and broken smile.

“Tell uncle I’m sorry…”

He closed his eyes and something in your snapped.

There was a loud crash, and everyone slowly opened their eyes to see what horror waited before them.

The trees in front of you had been blow down, a small fire in the centre where the blast was aimed.

You had fallen to your knees over Zuko.

He was still pinned below you, your knees rested on the dirt and you had your head cast down.

Zuko flinched when he felt something fall on his face, and he opened his eyes when he felt it again.

His eyes gazed up at yours, watching as the tears slowly slipped free as you stared at him in pure horror.

His heart pounded in his chest, his breathing was ragged and he was shaking.

Your tears fell on his face as you slowly fell to the side, resting your hands in your knees as you bowed your head down to hide your face.

“I’m.. I’m a monster…” you chocked out.

You swore you’d never hurt anyone, you’d protect people and keep them safe.

And out of pure, unresolved emotion you nearly killed Zuko.

You nearly killed a person.

A person you once trusted with your very life, a person who you had grown up with and whom you loved with your whole heart.

And he nearly died by your very hand.

Slowly Zuko sat up, turned to look behind him at what was left of the trees before he turned to you.

He reached out and hesitated, then finally reached out fully, placing his hand on your head before he quickly pulled you into him.

You wrapped your arms around Zuko, all the hatred and anger you felt was gone, you were scared, upset, ashamed.

Your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt as you cried into his shoulder.

He held you tightly against his chest, burying his face into your neck as he let a few tears slip free.

Aang and Katara ushered Sokka and Toph away, leaving the pair of you alone.

The worst of it was over now, whatever happened now was up to whatever you and Zuko decided to do about what had happened on that night

[nomie-11]

Epilogue - Unsent Correspondence from the Desk of Late Rider Cadet Liam Mairi

<- previous chapter | masterlist | series masterlist | next book! ->

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before the death of Liam Mairi was reported, and his items were burned, a stack of unsent letters from under his bed were taken by one graduated rider cadet and two second years. Among those letters, three letters in envelopes were addressed to The Wounded Healer, The Drowned, and The Guilty. These three people were later discovered to be Genevieve Hale, Violet Sorrengail, and Xaden Riorson, and were properly distributed. 

These three letters, for preservation purposes, are listed and titled below. 

Transcribed into a modern language by Jesinia Neilwart, Curator of the Scribe Quadrant of Basgiath War College. 

Unsent Correspondence from the desk of late Rider Cadet Liam Mairi

To my dear Violet, 

As I write this, Genevieve is passed out on my bedroom floor, and you’re softly asleep on my bed, in my sheets. I’ve never been good with words, especially ones I can’t bring myself to say out loud. But I need to try, at least this once. Because if I don’t, I think it’ll haunt me worse than the battle scars ever could. 

There’s something about the way you sleep, Vi. So peaceful, like the weight of the world hasn’t touched you. But I know it has. You carry so much on you, more than most people ever should or ever will. And yet, here you are, still fighting, still breathing, still… you. I don’t know how you do it, but I’m grateful every damn day that you do. 

Being around you, fighting alongside you, it gave me something I never thought I’d have in this bloody war—hope. Hope that there’s something worth protecting, something good that survives even in the darkest places. You’re that light, Vi. You’ve always been. And I know I shouldn’t say that because it sounds like something out of one of those stupid romance books we’d steal from Xaden and laugh at, but it’s true. You make me believe in things I should have long stopped believing in. 

I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you the way I promised I would. I know you don’t need anyone to keep you safe—you’re fierce, stronger than most of us—but I wanted to, anyway. It was selfish, I suppose. I was supposed to protect Genevieve, but I wanted to be the one you turned to, the one you trusted with the things you don’t share with anyone else. And yet, here I am, with so much left unsaid. 

There are days, Vi, where I wonder what would’ve happened if we’d had met before the rebellion. Before the fighting and the death, before all of this. Maybe things would’ve been different. Maybe we could’ve had a chance at something more, something normal, something not filled with blood and battles. I’ve never let myself think too long about it, though. Because that’s not the world we live in, is it? We don’t get to have that kind of peace. 

But if I’m honest with you, and I have to be, you deserve that at least now, I wanted that. I wanted you. I wanted us. I wanted to wake up next to you, not just here, not just at the brink of dawn, but every damn day. I wanted to marry you. And gods, I hate myself for saying that because it feels too late, and maybe it is if you’re reading this, but it’s the truth. I’ve wanted that since the first time you smiled at me like I was something more than just another rebellion kid. 

I know this letter won’t reach you while I’m alive. And maybe it’s better that way. But I need you to know, Vi, that if I could go back, if I could change just one thing, it wouldn’t be how we fought or the decisions we made. No, it would be this; I’d ask you to marry me, right then and there. I wouldn’t wait for the perfect moment or a perfect day, because there’s no such thing in a world like ours. 

I’m going to die soon, I can feel it, but I’ll die without regrets. At least, that’s what I’d like to say. The truth is, I do have one. 

It’s that I never got to marry you. 

Yours eternally, Liam.

—-------------------------------------------

To Xaden,

I’m sorry. 

I’ve thought of a thousand ways to say it, but none of them feel like enough. I failed you. Worse than that, I put us all in danger because I couldn’t look at Violet and lie to her about everything. I thought if she knew the truth about Athebyne, it would protect her. But I recognize now that it’s probably going to be my downfall. It’s just… everytime I look at her it’s like the truth spills out. And now there’s no turning back. 

I’ve always known you carry a weight that no one else can understand, not even me. You were forced to lead before you were ready, forced to make decisions that no one should ever have to make. And I made it worse. I wanted to believe that if I could just tell Violet everything, tell her why I had to disappear at night, that maybe this wouldn’t be so hard. But I misjudged everything. Aetos probably read her memories, and by the time you’ve read this, I’ve probably destroyed everything. 

You’re right to be furious with me. I betrayed the only real family I’ve had since my parents died. And even though I did it because I thought it would help, it’s no excuse. I should have trusted you—trusted your wish to remain a secret, trusted that you’d find a way to protect us all, without dragging Violet into it. But I didn’t. And I’m sorry, Xaden. More than you know. 

But now it’s too late for apologies. By the time you read this, I’ll be gone. 

I don’t know how it’s going to happen—whether it’s a battle, an ambush, or just the cruel hand of fate—but I know that my time is coming. And I want you to know that when it does, I’ll go down fighting. Not just for you, not just for Violet, but for all of us. For everything we’ve been through, for everything we’ve fought for, for the futures we all deserved but never got. 

There’s one more thing, Xaden. Genevieve. 

You’re not going to like this, or maybe you will, but I had to make a choice. She’s important—to all of us, yes—but especially to you. I saw the way you looked at her, the way that she was the whole world in your arms. You’re as good at hiding your feelings as ever, but I know you. And even though she’s been forced into this situation, forced to spy on us, I know she isn’t our enemy. 

When it comes down to it, if it’s her or me, I’m choosing her. I’ve made peace with that. If it means you’ll survive and have someone by your side after I’m gone, someone who might understand what you’re going through, someone who’ll stand with you when the world turns to ash, then it’ll be worth it. 

So, if the time comes, and I have to make that choice, know it’s not because I don’t care about you. It’s because I do. It’s because you’ve spent too long losing the people you care about, and I won’t let it happen again, not if I can help it. 

The idea of dying doesn’t seem to scare me anymore, really, because I know when I die I won’t be alone. I’m excited to see my mother again, most of all. I love you more than words can convey, brother. You’ve always been the best part of me. And I’ll see you on the other side. 

Your brother, Liam Mairi

—--------------------------------------------

To Genevieve, 

I know you didn’t want it to go this way. Hell, you’re probably furious with me. And you should be. I never asked for your permission to make this decision, to sacrifice myself for you. But, Genevieve, I think we both knew from that night in February that it would end like this. We just didn’t say it out loud, did we? Some things don’t need to be said to be understood. 

I’m sorry. 

I’m sorry because I know what this will do to you, how much you hate owing anyone anything. But this isn’t about debts or favors or even survival. This was my choice, and I made it because you deserve a shot at something beyond this. I’ve seen the fire in your eyes, even when you’re trapped in a cage that you didn’t build but can’t seem to escape. You deserve the chance to break free, to live beyond the strings people keep trying to tie you to. 

I don’t want you to think for one second that this makes you weak, that my decision somehow implies that you couldn’t make it on your own. You could. You can. But I also know you’ve been fighting with every ounce of strength you’ve got for so damn long, and I just… I wanted to give you a moment. Just one. A moment to breathe, to take control of your fate without someone else calling the shots. 

It’s not fair. None of this is fair. The fact that we’re even here, at Basgiath, trapped between wars we didn’t start and loyalties we didn’t choose—it’s all wrong. But we don’t get to change that. What we can change is what we do with what’s left. And what’s left for me, Geneiveve, is making sure you get out of this alive, no matter what. 

I know you’ll never forgive me for this. I know you’ll curse my name every day from here on out. And maybe I deserve that. But I couldn’t just stand by and watch you burn yourself to ash trying to survive in this gods-forsaken world. You’ve got something inside you, something bigger than revenge, bigger than all this pain. You just don’t see it yet. 

And you will. One day, when the smoke clears and the world isn’t quite as dark, you’ll understand why I did it. And maybe you’ll hate me a little less. 

So live, Genevieve. Live on your terms, not anyone else’s. And when you do, don’t look back. Not for me. Not for anyone. 

I’ll be with you, in whatever comes next. I just hope you’ll find a way to forgive yourself for not saving me, even if you can’t forgive me. You need to remember that you are nobody’s soldier, and know that I’m always beside you, for you are my greatest adversary and my best friend. 

Your sword and shield, Liam

----------------------------------

So, how are we feeling?

That's it for The Wounded Healer, The Drowned, and The Guilty! This will be a bit of a longer note because there's so much I want to say about this project and what it meant to me to write it.

This is my first writing project after what was a pretty hard breakup for me. I didn't write for the almost entire year I was talking with my ex, and then he cheated on me and I decided that I needed an escape. I read Fourth Wing to give me a quick break from reality, and between the breakup and reading Fourth Wing, Genevieve Hale was born.

I'm actually not a romantasy reader, nor am I a romantasy writer, I tend to sway towards classical literature and poetry, but I can appreciate a good book when there's a good book, even if I don't love the writing style or the main romance, so this was a huge step out of my comfort zone, but it was a lot of fun!

It's actually 3 months and 1 day that I'm completing this since starting it. I started writing it on August 15th, and then finished writing on October 27th, and finished publishing today, November 16th, which is pretty crazy. And I reached 100 followers literally yesterday on Tumblr, which is pretty crazy (at least to me--100 followers in three months???), so thank you all so much for being invested in my writing. I never imagined people would actually read this, and I'm so grateful for each and every one of you.

There's a lot of things in book 1 that I left unexplained that will be covered in book 2, we will go more into Genevieve's father, Genevieve's mother, Genevieve's signet, Genevieve's relationship with Xaden (and Violet post-Resson), and much more.

With that being said, now you understand the title of the book The Wounded Healer, The Drowned, and The Guilty. Genevieve is the wounded healer, a fitting title for someone who cannot physically heal someone without nearly killing herself, but it's also a title for her emotional state. Violet is the drowned, representative of the grief that will consume a lot of her actions in book 2, and a lot of the things that Liam hid from her, and Xaden is the guilty, a testament to the lies and deception he was taking part in when hiding details from Genevieve. I already released the title for book 2, so it should give you some insight into what will go down in the second book, but I'm excited to hear your theories (if you have any).

What do you think will happen between Xaden and Genevieve, Genevieve and Violet, Genevieve and (eventually) Catriona and the gryphon fliers? How will Genevieve cope with the loss of Liam? What developments will Genevieve's signet and her understanding of it go through? Let me know!

Anyways, that is it for now! I'll be back in a little bit (probably around 2-3 weeks) with chapter 1 of The Tragic Hero, The Betrayed, and The Haunted, but between now and then there will be some bonus content (incorrect quotes, one shots--x reader and x genevieve, etc) posted here and there. That will only be on Tumblr for my Ao3 readers, so find me at nomie-11 if you are interested!

As always, if you enjoyed, leave a like, comment, or kudo, and I'll see you all soon with book 2!

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Taglist: @awkardnerd , @hannraumari , @minjix , @glaciuswduo , @wolfbc97 , @heeseungthel0ml

[cherhys]

Springtime Revelations

Cassian x Reader

Summary: You and Cassian have been friends for as long as you can remember. But when strangers point out all of the things you seem to have missed, new feelings are discovered…

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: Two idiots realizing that the other idiot is kind of sexy, mild swearing

Notes: Look who’s back in town! So sorry I’ve been gone, I had a weekend from Hell™️ and then I was sick on Monday (amazing, really). So have this while I get back to my various unfinished fics. Oh, and—remember that one part in the book when Cassian is eating a muffin? Yeah. That.

The bell jingled as you left the store, clutching your newly filled basket. You lifted the gingham fabric to peek at the fruits you had traded for. Inside, succulent berries, juicy peaches, and crisp apples stared back at you in delicious goodness—you were excited to share them with your friends. Maybe you could even bring some up to the House for Cassian to try—

Frantic murmurs caught your attention, and you turned to a group of village girls whispering conspiratorially. It was a surprisingly beautiful day in the Illyrian mountains, the delicate touch of spring emerging. Many villagers milled about, hoping to bathe in the warm sunbeams and delight in the refreshing breeze. The young girls before you were no different, though something must have diverted their attention from enjoying the outdoors to ardent gossiping. 

You saddled up to the females and leaned in, “What are we raving about today, ladies?”

With a cohesive yelp, the females turned to you with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. You glanced between them, “Something raunchy, I presume?”

The dusting of pink on their cheeks worsened, and you chuckled—you hit the nail on the head. 

Most diverted their gaze, but the youngest girl turned bright eyes on you and wiggled her brows, “Take a look for yourself.”

Her eager grin had you raising your eyebrows. What could possibly have these ladies clutching their skirts like some bashful maidens? Turning to where the girl was discreetly pointing her finger, it all became crystal clear. 

Sleek sweaty skin glistened under the sun, notable muscles shifting with every precise movement. Broad shoulders heaved with heavy breaths, whirling tattoos adorning much of his powerful chest. 

You breathed a knowing sound, “Ah, yes, Cassian is visiting.”

The females around you sighed dreamily, and you glanced between them, holding in the laughter threatening to erupt again. The young girl from before leaned on the railing of the shop’s veranda, resting her chin on both palms, “Isn’t he dreamy? I mean, look at him with all the males.”

You glanced at the training Illyrians; Cassian paced back and forth between the rows of males who were currently following whatever instructions he shouted out. Evidently, the legion was feeling the heat as much as anyone else—not a single shirt was in sight, and the females around you weren’t hesitant to gorge themselves on the eye candy. 

The young girl continued, “He’s so strong, you know? I bet he could toss me around like a rag doll.”

You looked at her sideways, mildly concerned. A rag doll? The others joined in earnestly;

“Ugh, his jawline? It’s as sharp as the sword on his back! I wonder what his sword—”

“Forget the jawline, I’m looking at his ass. I can’t tell if I’m jealous or—”

“And his arms? He could carry me to Spring and back—”

This time you couldn’t help it. You burst out laughing, hysterically clutching at your stomach. Were they serious? Calming yourself, you wiped the few stray tears that had escaped, “You all know he can hear you, right? The male has freakish hearing. We're more than close enough to him.”

They all snapped their heads to you, eyes nearly bulging out of their head. The young girl scoffed and waved a hand to dismiss your claim,  “I highly doubt that.”

You repeated the girl’s words to her, “Take a look for yourself.”

The females slowly turned, hesitant. Cassian was already staring at your little group, a wicked grin on his face. The females gasped and put their hands over their mouths—all Cassian did was wink. With a squeal, they all dispersed; some ran into the store, others hustled off home, and a few dropped to hide behind the veranda's railings. Looking at Cassian, his grin widened impossibly further at the roll of your eyes. He gave you a little eyebrow wiggle, and you couldn’t help but laugh. Satisfied, he turned back to the males with a smile. 

Cocky fucking bastard. 

Shaking your head, you stepped off the veranda but the group’s words sluiced through your thoughts. Most of it was ridiculous but…

Your eyes wandered back to Cassian of their own volition. 

He was powerful—you’ve seen Cass heft ridiculous weight with ease. However, his strength went beyond the physical sense; even after a long day at the camps, where you’re sure their respect is lacking, he’d be there with a smile. The fawning over his physique was well-deserved. It would be no stretch to compare his figure to the war gods of old. He was a walking Adonis with rippling muscles honed to perfection through sheer will. But nothing compared to his wind-hewn features, rugged and severe. They were at odds with his blinding grin and his gentle hazel eyes.

You blinked as if you’d never seen the male before. 

You and Cassian had been close friends for years now. He never failed to make you laugh and had been your shoulder to cry on countless times in the past. Of course, you had flirted, but it was all harmless fun. Through all of that, you had never looked to Cassian for anything beyond your precious friendship. 

Your cheeks reddened as you followed his figure, his Illyrian leather pants clinging to his shapely legs. He does have a nice ass—

The jingle of the shop’s bell snapped you from your dangerous train of thought. This is ridiculous. Cassian is your closest friend, who graciously introduced you to his family, which you now call your own. Setting your shoulders and exhaling slowly, you expelled any obscene thoughts about your friend that may have polluted your mind.

Your lingering in front of the shop isn’t lost on Cassian. In fact, he’d been keenly aware of your presence since you first joined the ladies outside, his very skin tingling with your stare. However, he hadn’t been the only one to notice you. 

Cassian’s eye twitched at the murmurs of the males around him. His irritation at their inattentiveness quickly turned to confusion at the delicate sighs his soldiers were exhaling. More than a few had their gazes locked on you; a bottom lip tucked between teeth here, pink tongue swiping there, and many wistful pouts. A scowl darkened his face, irritation doubled—who were these assholes to stare at you?

He grumbled to himself—ready to bark at the group to get their shit together—when a statement from his lieutenant snapped him from his incensed thoughts.

Cassian narrowed his eyes at the male before him, the lieutenant shrinking in on himself, “What did you just say?”

The lieutenant nervously swallowed, hands clasped tightly behind his rigid back, “I said you are a blessed male… sir.”

Cassian stalked to the male, who looked up to the heavens as if they’d save him from his General’s wrath. The lieutenant was nose-to-chest with him, the male’s head staring forward into a sure block of muscle. 

“And why would I be so lucky, lieutenant?”

The male licked at his chapped lips, his eyes unconsciously searching for you, “Due to your relationship with—”

“My friendship with her is of no concern to the likes of you, lieutenant.” Cassian spat the words like a curse, infuriated for reasons beyond him. 

Despite the venom in his tone, Cassian was surprised when the lieutenant’s eyes flickered up to his, with… was that hope? Before Cassian’s incredulity could begin to form on his features, the suddenly giddy lieutenant swooped in, “‘Friendship’? You’re not together?”

All Cassian could do was blink. A blinding grin spread over the lieutenant’s face, putting Cassian ill at ease. 

“That’s amazing, sir! She’s the most beautiful female I’ve ever seen—I’ll be sure to use this chance.” With a peppy salute, the lieutenant walked away from where Cassian stood, dumbfounded at what had just happened. What had just happened? His heart beat rapidly as he watched the lieutenant return to his exercises. 

His mouth suddenly dry, Cassian turned to where you had been before the store. Now you were approaching the Illyrian legion, desperately clutching your sun hat. He can’t help but watch with bated breath as the wind billows your maxi dress, a large basket clenched in your hands. Your smile is the sun cresting over the morning mountains, a grin slowly blooming like the first blossoms of spring. His lieutenant’s words echoed through his head, overwhelming and overwriting any other thoughts—the most beautiful female I’ve ever seen. 

You finally join him, his glistening tan skin on display and—how have you never noticed just how far you had to crane your head to look at him? A beat of silence passes, your gaze locked on Cassian’s honey-hazel eyes. Something shifted in your chest, pressing uncomfortably against your ribs. 

“Hey, sweetheart.” Cassian effortlessly fell back into your usual routine, his signature grin stretching across his face. The nickname is not unusual; it's always either sweetheart, doll, or whatever endearment he feels inclined to use. It's normal. Even so, the timber of his voice coated your skin like sweet honey. 

“Hello, hello. How is training going?” You shifted the basket to your other hand, trying not to fidget overtly as you flashed him a smile. 

He shrugged, moving to block your view of the males who were now looking over, “Same old bastards as every time I’m here.” His leather and sweat scent pleasingly swept over your senses. 

You hummed, coyly turning your head, “Well, if only you would take me up on my offer to start my training; maybe it wouldn’t be just old grumps?”

Looking at Cassian through your thick lashes, his smile became near feral as he leaned in, “You wouldn’t last a day.”

Indignant, you widened your eyes, “Try me.”

You both stared intensely at one another, neither willing to budge an inch. Your breaths mingled in the shared space, the air lightly stirring your hair. Cassian's eyes narrowed at you in silent challenge. 

Suddenly, you both burst out laughing, your heads throwing back with raucous mirth. His eyes gleamed with unbridled joy as he took in your exaltation.

You winked, eyes sparkling, "I'm just kidding. I'm happy to watch from afar."

"I'm sure you and the other ladies were delighted. Ecstatic, even." He puffed up with mock male pride, and you giggled semi-nervously. If only he knew.

He looked at your hand, unconsciously rubbing at your heaving chest. His gaze followed up; to the sweep of your collarbones, the delicate curve of your throat, to your parted pink lips.

Clearing his throat, Cassian levelled a more serious look at you, his thick arms crossed, “I do think you should join the ladies back at the House. You never know when your training could be of use.”

You waved a hand, dismissing his overly protective male concerns, “I know basic self-defence. Plus, that’s what I have you for, right?” 

You lightly punched his shoulder, the solid muscle barely budging. Instead, with lightning speed, Cassian grabbed your fist and pulled you to his person. You stopped a hair's breadth away from him, an odd feeling fluttering in your chest. 

“Of course, sweetheart. I’m yours however you like.” His wolfish grin looked ready to devour you whole. Cassian’s molten gaze swept over you, a foreign feeling rearing its ugly head at his heated scrutiny. You stared at him, unimpressed with his teasing today.  Today was just—it was not the time for needless flirting. 

With a noise of disgust, you swatted at his face, only to yelp as he gnashed his teeth at your fingers. You clutched your hand close to your chest, a mildly disgruntled look on your face, “Brute.”

Cassian winked, but a strange unease spread through him at the unintended intensity behind his statement. He rolled his shoulders; he’d have to find Azriel later for a good spar. 

You rummaged through your basket, desperate to cut through the oddly charged tension between you both. Your fingers finally wrapped around what you needed, and you pulled out a small crate, brandishing it to Cassian, “Ta-da!”

“Strawberries? This time of year?” His eyebrows shot to his hairline, fingers reaching for the succulent rubied fruit. 

You snatched the small crate back to yourself, “Ah-ah,” You held up a finger in warning, “Only one. I’m saving them for dinner at the House.”

Cassian rolled his eyes dramatically but acquiesced, “Yeah, whatever. I’m sure prissy Rhys and whiny Az can go without some strawberries.”

You narrowed your eyes, “Then brutish Cass can also go without the delicious, imported-from-Summer delicacy.”

At this, Cassian pouted and batted his dark lashes, “Please, sweetheart?”

The pleading rolled off of his tongue and down your spine. You shoved the crate back towards him, your face red as the heart-shaped fruit. Why did the Cauldron bless him with lashes that long, and why are you only now noticing? You ached for the discomfort of the day to pass. 

However, this was not to be. Cassian wrapped his plump lips around the berry, his gaze never leaving yours. You followed the swipe of his pink tongue along his lower lip. Your mind blanked, instinct dominating rational thought. Blinking the scene away, you quickly grabbed your own strawberry to taste. The berry’s aromatic flavour spread over your palette, and you moaned lightly in satisfaction, “These are delicious.”

You looked at him through your lashes, a smirk gracing Cassian’s face. His head tilted, his bright gaze flitting between your mouth and your challenging stare. 

“Delicious indeed, sweetheart.”

The intensity of his stare overwhelmed you. This is your best friend, whispered a traitorous voice in your head. The reminder was a bucket of cold water. Stepping back, you lightly smiled; you doubted it reached your eyes. Cassian, attentive as ever, composed himself and attempted to steady the rapid beating of his heart. He cursed himself for letting these enigmatic feelings unsettle you. 

“I should let you get back to your training. I’m sure the others are getting antsy waiting.”

He gave you a cursory nod, mustering up whatever playfulness he hadn’t yet quashed, “I’ll see you tonight at dinner?”

Cassian’s light tone was a balm to your nerves; it made it easy to pretend there was a semblance of normalcy left between you both. 

“Of course, Cass. I’ll see you later,” You turned to leave but waved a final farewell to the group of males, “Good luck, boys!”

Cassian could feel the bastards perking up like flowers tasting water after a drought. The group watched as your form shrank in the distance, Cassian’s jaw clenched tightly. The low whistle of one of the trainees was enough for him. Vein throbbing in his temple, Cassian didn’t so much as turn around to bark, “That’ll be two laps around camp.”

The order reverberated through the group and was received with various groans of protest. At this, Cassian finally turned, “You’re right—that is too little. Make it four. Or should I triple it?”

The males stand rigid, afraid to move a muscle lest they incur more of their Commander’s wrath. 

“Go!” The firm shout spurred the group into action, nearly tripping themselves to sprint away from the seething male. 

As Cassian watched the males and you finally reached your home, both of you couldn’t help but feel as if something had irrevocably changed.

Final notes: I love Cass so much. Hope you liked it <3

[elvenisms]

friday —; s.h.

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader [3.5k]

summary: Robin orchestrates the best (and worst) Valentine's Day of your life.

cw: angst, fluff, cursing, no use of y/n, steve is an idiot (per usual), reader cries a lot (relatable), happy ending.

author's note: i got carried away with this, ngl. proof that i cannot write anything fluffy without angst. enjoy!

masterlist

It was Thursday.

Thursdays were good days. You didn’t work, giving you some well-needed rest from wearing that stupid vest, rewinding tapes, and dealing with late returns. You could throw on a movie you’d been meaning to watch for weeks, invite some friends over, and veg out. You could go see a show at The Hideout, if someone interesting was playing. Sometimes, Thursday was laundry day. But today wasn’t any Thursday.

Today was Thursday, February 13th, 1986. The day before Valentine’s Day.

“Vickie and I are going to do something, we just don’t know what.” Robin pushed her lips together, toying with a loose piece of thread on your couch. “I mean, obviously we’ll have a little date during the day, but we thought a group thing would be fun, ya’ know?”

Eddie had come over to watch Day of the Dead with you that day, and when Robin got off work, she called to see what you were up to. “Hanging out with Eds, pretending Valentine’s Day doesn’t exist.” You’d quipped, which is precisely how she ended up in your house, talking about Valentine’s Day.

“As much as I’d love to third-wheel,” Eddie stretched. “I’m going to see a show. Some new guys, but I heard they’re good.”

“Yeah, I’m…” You wracked your brain for something you had to do, trying to get out of it, just as Eddie had. “I’m, uh, working. And then… Oh, I told Max I’d help her study? Some test she has. Science, I think.”

Eddie and Robin both eyed you judgmentally. It was entirely unconvincing, and also a lie. The Max part, anyway.

“Oh, give me a break,” You grunted, their faces saying enough. “I already told you, Rob, tomorrow is just Friday as far as I’m concerned.”

“But you don’t want it to just be Friday,” She remarked. “You want it to be Valentine’s Day, but you’re lonely.”

A huff of air came through Eddie’s nose, trying not to laugh at her well-meaning bluntness. You gave him a sour look, and he quickly dropped it.

“Thank you for reminding me,” You muttered, leaning forward to pick up some empty beer bottles from the table, carrying them to the trash can in the kitchen.

You weren’t actually mad, not at Robin. You were frustrated with the fact that you cared about some stupid holiday, that you couldn’t just be like Eddie, who genuinely didn’t give a shit. Unwilling to admit it to yourself, you were also mad that every guy in Hawkins you’d gone out with was a total disaster; Matthew Campbell probably couldn’t tie a shoelace if you asked him to, and you told him that, so you didn’t suspect he’d be knocking on your door tomorrow.

You waltzed back into the living room to your unsuspecting victims, now on a tirade you’d created in your own head. “It’s not my fault that there is no one in this town for me, okay? I’ve officially given up. I’m tired of putting on makeup, going to Enzo’s, and making awful small talk, for which the reward is a lackluster trip to second base in the back of a ca—”

Robin gasped as if she’d seen a ghost. Your rant halted, staring at her, and she looked back with wide eyes, jaw agape. “How have I never put this together?”

She looked like she’d just had a stroke of genius, discovered a new element, or something. You looked at Eddie, then back to her. “Put what together? That I’m hopeless?”

“No, no no,” She leapt up off of the couch, starting to pace. “You sound just like—oh my God, this is incredible. I mean, this is actually perfect—”

“Robin!” You threw your arms out, exasperated, letting them smack against your sides.

“Steve!” She exclaimed, gripping your shoulders. “Steve, who is also lonely and has no plans for tomorrow!”

Your insides twisted. Steve.

You would’ve been lying to yourself if you said you’d never thought about him that way before. I mean, you had eyes, but your close friendship had never allowed it to last more than a minute. More than anything, the two of you poked fun at each other, constantly trying to see who could get the last word. But you were still close, close enough that you knew he’d come running if you ever really needed him, and that was… nice.

Everything about him was nice, really.

You blinked at Robin, your gears shifting at impossible speeds. She was still holding your shoulders, expectant.

“I think she’s on board.” Eddie piped up with a smirk, and you instantly held a finger out to him, still looking at the girl in front of you. “I didn’t say that.”

“You’re saying it with your eyes.” Robin was containing a giddy squeal. You could almost feel her vibrating. 

“No, no, I’m not.” You finally broke free from her grasp. Now you were pacing. “If Steve was interested in me, he would’ve said something a long time ago.”

Eddie’s brow furrowed. “Are we talking about the same guy?”

“Yeah, dingus, with a capital ‘D’,” Robin gestured with her hands. “I saw a bird land on his head once and he asked me what I was looking at. You think he’d notice he had a shot with you?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Okay, that’s… yeah, you’re right. But I’m not just gonna call him up and ask him to be my Valentine. I’d rather puke.”

“So don’t!” Robin spun around, another lightbulb behind her eyes. “I have an idea.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

This was a terrible idea.

You were staring into your mirror, smoothing out the wrinkles on your clothes. You’d gone for not-trying-too-hard cute; a black turtleneck with a calf-length, patterned skirt, and a thick belt around your waist. You’d done your hair and your makeup, satisfied with them, but this time felt… different. You weren’t going to Enzo’s with some tip-stiffing lowlife. You were seeing Steve.

Robin had suggested a gathering at your place. She, Vickie, Nancy, and Jonathan were sitting in your living room, sipping drinks, chatting mindlessly. When she’d invited Steve, she’d said that the four of them were going to your house—assuming he’d pick up the hint, and jump at the chance to be your date. 

And he did.

The real reason you’d never allowed Steve to infiltrate your mind was because, well, that’s exactly what he’d do. You could handle losing Matthew Campbell, or Ben Taylor, or any of these meaningless Hawkins guys you never realistically saw yourself with in the first place; but Steve was close. Close to your friends, close to your heart, inching ever nearer by the minute. 

It was terrifying. But then again, he agreed to come—–and that made your stomach flutter.

Deciding you’d spent enough time making sure every last hair was in order, you took a deep breath, venturing back out to the living room. You were greeted with warm, knowing smiles. 

“You look gorgeous.” Nancy rose from her seat, coming over to give your arms a comforting rub. “Really, he’s not gonna know what hit him.”

You nodded, trying not to look as nervous as you felt. “Thanks, Nance.”

“It makes so much sense, doesn’t it? I mean, I really should play matchmaker more often. I’m changing lives here!” Robin shook Vickie’s thigh where her hand rested, excitedly. It made everyone chuckle.

Jonathan took another sip of his drink. “Now you’ve just gotta find someone for Ed—”

A knock at the door. Fuck. In an instant, every ounce of confidence you had flew straight out of the window. And your face must’ve shown it, because Nancy began soothing you again. 

“Hey, look at me.” She whispered, and you did. “You’ve never been this nervous to see him before, right? Pretend this is just another day. Just… Friday.”

You swallowed. It definitely wasn’t just Friday anymore.

Nonetheless, you shot a weak, thankful smile at her, making your way up to the door. Usually, you’d be embarrassed to let your friends see you this way—taking deep breaths, shaking your hands to relieve some anxious energy. Right now, though, you couldn’t care less, much too preoccupied with the thought of Steve’s face. Just open it. Open the door.

So, you did.

And there he was, grinning adorably, smelling of his cologne, wearing a well-fitted sweater... Holding hands with a girl.

“Hey,” He spoke happily, though his eyes searched your face for just a moment, as if you’d let the shock slip through. “This is Brenda.”

Your whole body stiffened, knowing that the rest of the group heard him, and were now searing holes through the back of your head. Your stomach flipped over on itself, even your organs mortified.

“Hi, Brenda.” You forced a smile at the girl, as if every nerve in your body wasn’t on fire. “Come on in.”

As you turned around, you studied the expressions in the room, seeking some kind of escape. Nancy and Vickie at least tried to look normal, staring at the ground or taking a sip of their drink; Jonathan’s brow was furrowed in disbelief, and Robin’s mouth was hanging open, eyes locked on you.

You quickly walked to the couch where Nancy and Jonathan sat, just standing beside it, your fight-or-flight instinct physically unwilling to let you sit. At least Steve and Brenda would have a spot now, right?

The embarrassment was already making your eyes water.

As the two of them entered the uncomfortably silent living room, you saw his eyes scan the room, similarly to how you had—like he was searching for something. And when he didn’t find it, his eyes landed back on you, any trace of his previous smile gone.

“It’s so nice to meet you guys!” Brenda chirped to the group, the tension completely unnoticed by her.

You felt suffocated. Suffocated by your turtleneck, by the silence, by Brenda’s curly, blonde hair and perfectly pink lips—but mostly by Steve, who was still staring at you. You refused to look back. 

“Music!” You squawked, mind numb. “We should put on some music, it’s so quiet—” You strided toward your box of cassettes, sat beside the television, and began scrambling with them. “—I’ve got Tears for Fears, or, um, oh! ABBA, everyone likes ABBA, right? Uh…”

Without you even noticing, Nancy appeared at your side, gently grabbing the tapes from your hands. “Hey, hey. I’ll pick out some music, okay?” Her voice was quiet, forehead creased in concern.

Your movements slowed. You nodded, eyes half-welled with tears. The dam was definitely about to break.

“Okay, well,” You stood up again, arms swaying slightly, feeling everyone’s eyes on you. “You guys sit. I’m, um… I’ll be right back.”

You spun on your heel, making your way to your bedroom, closing the door behind you by leaning on it. The tears began to fall immediately, streaking your face with mascara.

You felt stupid. Stupid for ever letting Robin set this up, stupid for spending so much time making yourself presentable, when Brenda looked so effortlessly beautiful. You’d convinced yourself it would be some sort of magical night, which seemed ridiculous now. Why would Steve want you? More importantly, why would you ever let him affect you this way?

Your chest heaved, trying desperately to keep quiet. The last thing you wanted was more pity.

Soon enough, you heard a soft click from the living room, the faint sounds of Kate Bush coming through the speakers. You considered your options: hide in your room until the party was over, risk someone coming to check on you, go back out there and endure stares of sympathy, or… Leave. 

A rush of adrenaline surged through you, bringing you to your feet. You went to your mirror, attempting to smear away the black marks under your eyes—it was useless, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care anymore. Eddie would call it metal. So, for where you were headed, it was actually perfect.

You snatched your purse off of the dresser, the hurt morphing from sadness to anger, and marched out into the living room, making a bee-line for the front door. Everyone’s heads perked up. Your hand met the doorknob, gripping it tightly, before Steve appeared next to you.

“Hey, can you just wait a sec—where are you going?” He spoke softly, avoiding the rest of the rooms prying ears. His voice was hoarse.

You didn’t look at him. “I’m going to see a show with Eddie.”

“Can you let me explain? Please, just—”

Your head turned sharply, reddened eyes daggering through his solemn, brown ones. “I’m embarrassed, Steve. I’m…” You swallowed, fighting back any more tears. “I can’t be here right now. Can’t I just go?”

He brought a hand up, running it anxiously through his own hair. He looked dejected, and despite how much you wanted to hate him at this moment, your heart panged. It wasn’t enough to make you stay; not when Brenda was still on your couch. Not when the rest of the group felt sorry for you.

“Okay,” He finally breathed, barely audible. You started to open the door, and he softly took hold of your wrist. “Just be safe. Please.”

You looked at him, heart thrumming in your chest, eyelashes stuck together from the mixture of tears and makeup. “Have a good night. I’m… I’m sorry I ruined it.”

And with that, you were out the door, despite his attempt to say something else.

 · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The show was an adequate distraction.

When you’d shown up at The Hideout, scouting Eddie out in the crowd, he was shocked to see you. He was even more shocked to see the state you were in—makeup destroyed, eyes puffy, a hand clinging shakily to your purse. He immediately threw an arm around you, eyes expectant for an explanation.

“He brought a girl,” you’d shouted over the music. Eddie couldn’t have rolled his eyes any harder, squeezing your arm in frustration. “He’s even dumber than I thought then,” He yelled back. 

Steve was dumb. Purposefully dumb? You didn’t think so, and that made it all the more difficult to stay angry.

You were thankful for Eddie more than ever. He was always great at taking your mind off of things, getting you to let loose, have fun; it may have been the worst Valentine’s Day of your life, but at least he had given it some kind of silver lining. It was almost impossible not to smile around him, especially when he was acting extra goofy, insistent on lifting your spirits.

When he drove you home, the events of the night began to set in again. You dreaded your next conversation with Steve, whenever that would happen—I’m so sorry, but I just don’t feel that way about you, you could hear him saying, shoving the embarrassment deeper down your throat.

You considered never speaking to him again, just to spare yourself that feeling.

“Do you want me to come in?” Eddie laid a gentle hand on your knee, his beaten-up car parked a few feet from your door. 

“No, I’m okay.” You assured him, unconvincingly, and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “Think I just need to wallow tonight, y’know?”

He nodded, looking down at his lap. “I’m sorry, seriously. Kind of want to kill the kid.”

That brought a small smile to your face. “Don’t tempt me, I might just give you the go-ahead.” 

The two of you looked at each other, sharing a small chuckle. Eventually, you reached over, hugging him tight.

“Thank you for tonight. Really, I needed it.” You whispered, and he gave your back a comforting rub. “Anytime, you know that.”

You exited the car, already starting to wish you’d said yes to Eddie’s offer, and made your way to the door. Through the windows, you could see that most of the lights were off—everyone had gone home, thank God, though you were sure Robin and Nancy would be calling off the hook to talk about everything.

You jiggled the handle open, greeted by your dark living room, apart from the one lamp emanating warm light. And underneath it, Steve.

Sitting upright on the couch, head leaned back, arms crossed. Fast asleep.

You froze, a tightness in your chest. It was exactly what you didn’t want right now, to see him, have to talk to him. And for whatever reason, something in you was glad to find him there. 

You softly shut the door behind you, sat your bag on the coffee table, and took a seat beside him. The cushion dipping under your weight caused him to stir awake: his head lulled to the side, eyes fluttering open. They widened at the sight of you. 

“Hey.” His voice was gravelly from sleep, and he was quick to adjust himself to a more awake position. He cleared his throat, though it did little for his voice. “You’re home.”

“Yeah.” You mumbled, toying with your skirt. “Did… did you stay?”

“I was worried about you.” He looked into your eyes, and you wanted to look away, but you didn’t. “And I needed to talk to you.”

“What about Brenda?”

“I took her home. Came back.”

“Look,” You started, finding the strength to avert your gaze. “I don’t… I don’t want anyone else feeling bad for me. It was Robin’s idea, and of course you don’t feel that way about me, it was really stupid of me to assume—”

“Stop.” He blurted, somewhat forcefully. You blinked at him. “Please, just stop. I fucked up tonight, really bad. When I got the invite, I thought you’d have someone with you. It just… I’m an idiot. If I wasn’t an idiot, I would’ve never brought Brenda.”

Your stomach flipped familiarly, like it did when you heard a knock at the door earlier. “She was  beautiful, though.”

“She isn’t you.” His hand landed on your thigh, and his eyes darted to it for a moment, as if he hadn’t meant to. You both lingered there.

When he realized you weren’t going to push it away, he continued. “If—if when you went out with Eddie… I mean, if I blew my chance, I understand.”

Blew his chance. You wondered if he could ever truly do that.

“Steve, Eddie was just cheering me up.” You couldn’t help but smile a little, putting your hand over his. “He’s not my Valentine, if that’s what you’re asking. He does kind of want you dead, though.”

“They all want me dead, trust me.” He blew air out of his lips, eyebrows raising.

“What do you mean?”

“After you left, Brenda went to the bathroom, and I got a thorough bitching out.” 

You bit your lip, trying to hide the happiness that brought you. “You kind of deserved it, though.”

“Oh, absolutely.” He affirmed. There were a few moments of stillness, your touching hands drawing both of your attention. 

“Is Brenda your Valentine?” You wondered, voice softer. 

“Didn’t ask her to be.” He looked up at you, voice matching your tone. “Are you still… looking for one?”

Your eyes were locked, melting under each other's gaze. You could almost feel his breath.  His free hand came up to cradle your face, thumbing across your stained cheek. 

“There’s really only one I wanted.”

“Same here.” He whispered.

You quickly leaned forward, disturbing the stillness of the moment, and slotted your lips with his. He tasted like beer and strawberry chapstick, and smelled like a warm summer day—one that broke through the chill you’d been feeling all evening. Butterflies erupted inside you, fluttering in your stomach, your heart, your veins.

Your hands came up to clutch at his chest, the fabric of his sweater crinkling beneath your fingers. The kiss, which had started fervent, softened; the two of you broke apart, and he stole a peck at the corner of your mouth, foreheads resting against each other.

You both took heavy breaths, caused more by emotion than physical exertion, chests rising and falling in unison.

“I gotta make it up to you.” He breathed. You shook your head ever so slightly, a grin playing across your lips. 

“Steve, you already—”

“I’ll be your Valentine every day, for as long as you let me.”

You thought it might’ve been the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to you. Your forehead creased, trying not to let your eyes water, this time for a much better reason. As close as your faces were, you knew he noticed anyway.

“Deal?” His eyes searched your own, voice small, as if he was afraid you might say no.

You couldn’t stop a happy huff from leaving your lips, a single tear fighting its way out of the corner of your eye. “Deal.”

He beamed, pressing his lips into yours, as if he’d been awaiting the opportunity to do it again.

Steve Harrington became yours on Valentine’s Day, 1986. A Friday. A day you’d almost always ignored, until you didn’t. A day you were almost certain was going to be the worst day of your life, until it wasn’t. In fact, it might’ve been the best. 

Because Steve would continue to be yours each Friday after that—and every day in between, too.

[red-airhead]

【Ｍｅｄｄｌｅ Ａｂｏｕｔ】 C h O n e : P l a n e t M i r o h

⭐︎ IN COLLABORATION WITH @jonespicy

⭐︎ PAIRING: HYUNJIN X READER

⭐︎ WORD COUNT: 1,020

⭐︎ WARNINGS: crying, pet names (darling), mentions of a technical miscarriage, dirty jokes (1), home sickness,

⭐︎ SYNPOSIS: after finding out about her boyfriends more alien side in the bedroom and exploring it, he further explains the normal things on his homeworld that are considered taboo on Earth. Especially with his seven friends.

Being a scientist meant taking risks, so when you ‘bred’ with Hyunjin, you expected that his egg would actually live. 

Unfortunately for either of you, the egg didn’t take, and the way Hyunjin cried for a little more than a few hours made you want to try and find ways to actually have an alien child.

You spent the next couple of nights trying to find his home planet, and to see if you could study the female reproductive system, see what you were actually missing, the reason why the egg couldn’t take.

Soon days began to blend with nights, pulling all nighters after all nighters. It made Hyunjin worry more than anything, that at one point he had to drag you from your lab.

“Just one more look and I’ll come to—“ He quickly cut you off, refraining you from carrying on.

“You haven’t slept since you walked into this lab, you look sickly darling..” Hyunjin muttered, walking over to where you were sitting and squatting down to your level. “What are you even doing in here? I thought you didn’t need to do any research for a little while..”

“I’ve been.. since we found out the egg didn’t take— I’ve just— I’m..” you couldn’t seem to find the words with the way he looked at you with such worry, “it’s nothing..”

He sighed at the way you tried to brush it off, gently reaching to cup your cheek, “You can be honest with me, y’know? You don’t have to hide away..”

You knew you could be honest with him, you just felt more or less worried he’d find it concerning you’re spending all your nights looking for answers.

After a few moments of contemplating and silence, you sighed and decided to give in.

“I’ve been trying to find your home planet.. I knew that if I could find it, I could learn about the female reproductive system but I haven’t found a single thing.. it’s like your planet isn’t even in our solar system..” you showed him the amount of writing you had done after countless nights of research.

“That’s because it isn’t.. when I first crashed on earth, it wasn’t exactly what I wanted.. I was going to Saturn, but a meteor hit my ship and directed me towards earth. Meeting friends on Saturn isn’t exactly the smartest thing to do..” he joked towards the end, looking at you with a soft smile, “but when I crashed on earth, and when I saw you for the first time, it was like that meteor was meant to hit..”

You watched his facial features shift, the way his expression changed as he tried to find the right words, “but your ship is wrecked now, and you can’t go home..”

“I don’t think I want to go home, not after I met you.” He admitted, sitting up to pull you close and press a loving kiss to your lips.

That kiss was held for a little while before you pulled away, “You’re so sweet, Hyune..” you smiled at him, nuzzling your nose against his.

“And you're sweeter.. you taste sweet too.” He teased a smirk on his face, making you flush and look away.

“Anyway.. You said your planet isn’t in the solar system?” He asked, turning to your digital map of space itself. 

He hummed in response, grabbing a nearby stool to sit next to you, “Yeah, you guys would call it exoplanet.” He hummed out, looking at all of your research with fascination.

“What’s it called? Have we discovered it yet?” You quickly turned to him, expression now begging for answers.

“Gliese 581g, that’s the planet, or that’s what you call it at least.”

“What is the real name of Gliese 581g?”

“Miroh.” He replied, pulling up the images of his planet.

“Wow.. Plante Miroh.. It’s very similar to earth—“ you looked at Hyunjin with a deadpan expression.

“Well, remember when I told you our species is similar to humans? That’s the reason why.” He explained, now getting off of the stool and typing in some of his own knowledge about his planet.

“No humans have visited before?”

“Nope, and I don’t think they ever will..”

You frowned at the way he sounded so sad about it, “What if I wanna go?”

“You can’t, my ship is wrecked and I haven’t talked to my friends for almost months now. We’re too far to communicate..” Hyunjin did seem very sad about his friends, and the way it seemed like he was just about to cry made it even worse.

“I could make a machine? Maybe?”

“It’s pointless, and very difficult. We’re light-years away from Miroh..” he huffed, watching your hand cup his cheek and wipe away any stray tears.

“There’s always hope..” You reassured him, pressing a kiss to his forehead before turning to your laptop and beginning to look for ways to get radio frequencies from space.

“I think if there’s a way to cut into radio frequencies like connecting to a ship, maybe we could reach them. There could be a lucky chance they're on their ship and you could talk to them, maybe it’ll be your chance to go home.” You were so determined to get answers that you didn’t even realize that he was looking at you with a saddened expression.

“If I go home then I won’t be with you. I don’t want to leave without you.” He was automatically straight forward and you didn’t know what hurt more, the way he was practically begging you or the way that you didn’t want him to leave without you as well.

Pausing on your research you sigh gently, running a hand through your slightly tangled hair, thinking for a moment.

“Then I’ll go with you. I know that it’s technically dangerous but if you want me to go so badly then I will.” You watched as his face lit up, and you couldn’t help but smile at him. 

Quickly, he went to pepper you in kisses, “Yes! You won’t regret it I promise you..”

“Well then, the mission to contact your friends is a go.”

⇤ m.list | next ⇥

series tags: @collisiion @queenmea604 @binnies-minsung-fanclub @stolasisyourparent @zandra-42 @saintriots @soobery @chartrucewhore @nobody3210 @warren-thedarkangel @hanjingin

[reviewinghiccup]

I WOULDN’T KILL A DRAGON…

When I was a kid, I was very different from my peers. I stood many inches taller, was a different race than the rest and I couldn’t speak their language as fluently (yet). I wanted so much to fit into what I thought society was, and looked however everyone else looked. This made for a very miserable childhood which developed into a stigma that carried into adulthood.

When I started working, I didn’t do too well at first - not because I wasn’t good at my jobs, but because I just didn’t like the work I was doing. But I had this image of “Who I Should Be” and was hyper aware of how far short I fell.

This is why loving HTTYD is more than just childhood nostalgia, because upon a rewatch this last weekend - it dawned on me - Hiccup was never a coward, lazy, bad luck, etc. he was stuck in a funk of what he sees should be his reality and what his reality is.

Actually, Gobber was the only one who knew that Hiccup just had to find a way to accept himself for who he is. Obviously, he wouldn’t know that who Hiccup truly is is what the village needs to propel them to the future, but Gobber knew enough that Hiccup would not be able to be like a typical Viking because he wasn’t a typical Viking.

His father knew that too - begrudgingly - but he understood that Hiccup was different and he likewise just didn’t know how to place him and where Hiccup would eventually sit in the village.

But Hiccup took time before he got to realising that he would’ve never been happy being like the other Viking kids. What he loved he discovered when he allowed himself the room to step outside his comfort zone and listen to that voice on the inside telling him to find out more about dragons.

Hiccup is a Viking. His fate ties very closely to dragons, but not in the way that it has for centuries. It tied to the future, and that was why he would never fit in in the village as he is. As the village was changing, it needed the leader to bring about that change. Another Stoic would’ve spelt defeat for Berk in the long run of succession (think about it, how long were their ways of living going to let survive?).

Hiccup was confined to the environment he was in. And that stifled his progress. And what if, this mundanity, that feeling of being “trapped” in a dead end job or community be a sign that we need to outgrow our placement? We need to give ourselves permission to just accept that we’re different and go after that spirit of adventure tugging at our heart.

When Hiccup stopped caring what the villagers thought, and focused on learning about dragons and building that contraption to help Toothless fly - he shifted his life’s trajectory to being what he thinks he should be to what he actually is.

And that’s why, a favourite scene of mine is the one leading up to Test Drive - that trial and error, focus and determination to learn, live and find that adventure within the mundanity of failure and mistakes. You can see him beaming with purpose, working on himself and frankly coming into his own.

To be fair, before he met Toothless, he obviously didn’t know what he should be, because without Toothless there would be no revelation that he’s a dragon rider. So, it made sense that he was lost, and thought (just like everyone else did) that he had to be like his dad. But when the opportunity came the best thing Hiccup did was allow himself to embrace his differences and not kill Toothless, accepting his quirk forever whatever it may mean.

From this point on, his whole life takes a drastic turn and he becomes everything he was made out to be, and I guess what I’ve been looking for - is that change, because I think I’m also in an environment where I don’t relate to the others though I know I am meant to do something here. I just can’t tell yet - what.

[teecupangel]

So this is pertaining to my story Meta Assassins on AO3. Summary to follow so you can have context:

The very franchise we know exists as games within the games themselves and Desmond Miles isn't sure how to feel about this. He owns the first five games and soon Black Flag drops along with a new never-released game. It is there that Desmond meets Altair, Malik, Kadar, Ezio, and Federico. Desmond finds solace in the games given he now works at a gas station and has a crappy boss. While working one day he unknowingly meets Giovanni Auditore who gives him his contact information because he thinks Desmond is hard working and dedicated. Assassin’s Creed: Quadrivium, a MMORPG, drops and that's when he starts to figure things out. He eventually wants to go to Italy to visit Ezio and Federico during the winter holiday, which he does. Currently he is hanging out with Claudia Auditore at the local market.

Eventually I will have Desmond get hurt on the job at the gas station. A wet floor he didn't see, and there was no wet floor sign. He was carrying some heavy product that landed on his chest and left leg pinning him to the ground. His friends find it odd that he doesn't join them that night, but eventually a week goes by before they decide to go to New York to find Desmond. Which is how they discover the poor conditions Desmond has been living in. I am just stuck on how to write the accident scene and the twist of Desmond being fired for having the accident. Typically I have Kadar be the one that kicks them in the pants, cause I like to think he would have studied people's behaviors which would be useful as an assassin, but considering that I now have him dating Claudia, I could have her bugging Federico and Ezio about it since it's very uncharacteristic for Desmond to not answer her for more than a day (he did that once, called her to explain he was exhausted and apologized, he was yawning the entire time which made her realize he works himself to the bone.

Anyway, take your time and get to this when you can. Though I look forward to it, cause honestly I forget what I have asked so it's a nice surprise treat when you answer, like "Oh my Goth I asked that?" Thank you for all these lovely ask and answers. Safety and Peace upon you my friend.

Thank you and upon you as well, friend! Here's the link to the fanfic for those curious: Meta Assassins, please give it a try if you're interested and leave some love :)

If you want to keep it a suspense, one way would be to not write the accident scene at first. Shift the narration to Claudia or Federico or even Ezio and how they haven’t heard about Desmond for a while. Create a mini-mystery of some kind perhaps?

Then when they decided to fly to New York, that’s when the narration shifts back to Desmond. If you’re having problem writing the accident itself, you can set the narration to the same day that they set off to check Desmond and make it something that Desmond internally muses about. Focus the narration on what has happened after he was fired and how he’s holding up. Depending on how long it took for them to decide to fly to America, maybe the timeline was long enough that he needed to sell some things to pay the bills which included his computer and phone. Maybe he had to give up on paying his internet provider to pay the other bills using what he had saved up. Those would be valid reasons why he couldn’t say anything more to his friends.

Now, if you truly want the accident to be a central scene…

Well…

I’ve been clumsy since I was a kid (hence why I had to get a tetanus shot this month) so I can tell you that it might seemed ridiculous but one can do a lot of damage thanks to flailing limbs while ‘sliding’. He doesn’t have to be carrying the heavy product. He could be on his break and leaving the gas station when he skids across the floor and grabbed the first thing he could, which turned out to be the nozzle attached to a nearby car. The nozzle goes flying off the car and still dispensing gas and Desmond smacks his head hard against the car and his head bleeds.

Head bleeding tend to be heavy so they had to call 911 because they freaked out from seeing all the blood.

Of course, Desmond has no health insurance so now he has medical bills to pay for a head injury that he could have probably (probably) treated himself and, when he returned to his work, his boss fires him and tells him he has to pay for the wasted gas. And, because he was on his ‘break’ when it happened, his accident wasn’t covered by his ‘previous’ job (to be fair, Desmond is pretty sure that was just an excuse to not pay him squat).

Hope this helps and, even if you don’t use this, this gives you an idea of how to write this scene :)

(Also, instead of the gas, gas stations usually have convenient stores and you can make Desmond have his accident there where he grabs a shelf to stop his fall, breaks his ankle and crashes lots of merchandises that he has to pay for)

[deandoesthingstome]

Walk with Me - Ch 6

Pairing: FBI Agent!Syverson x OFC, Drug Czar!August Walker x OFC

Chapter Summary: Dinner with Francesca and August; plans are revealed.

Chapter Warnings: Light dom/sub behavior, drinking, oral sex (m receiving), implied unprotected p in v sex, fingering, anal sex, implied torture.

Word Count: 3.6K 

Masterlist: For full series Summary and Warnings

Spotify Playlist: The last three songs (16-18) now belong to this chapter.

Francesca

I knew August was looking for information. He was more agitated than usual and it was apparent he had an idea now that someone had infiltrated his organization. He began to call on me at the most inopportune moments, and I couldn’t tell if he was hoping or not to catch me in a lie. I did hear him trying desperately to convince Mateo his misgivings about me were wrong. I needed to put a stop to any hint of Sy sniffing around, if only to help prove Matteo wrong. August asked about the FBI when we had dinner at his home one evening.

“I’m glad you were able to get free tonight for me, Francesca.”

“August, you know I always come when you call. I’ve had to shuffle a few things around at the gym lately, and they’re starting to get annoyed, but I guess I can always find another studio if I have to.” I took a sip of the wine August had chosen to pair with our meal, tipping my tongue out to catch a small drop of red, drawing his eyes to my lips.

“You know I don’t mean to cause any hardship for you. I wouldn't want to take you away from anywhere else you’d rather be.”

“Now, where else would I rather be, baby, besides right here with you when you want me?”

“Heard from that old ex of yours lately?” August asked, keeping an even voice and betraying with a raised eyebrow only a small hint of the jealousy that I could sense was bubbling beneath the surface.

“Is that where you think I’d rather be? August, you wound me.”

“Francesca. Have you seen him again since he first contacted you?” It was clear August suspected, but I didn’t think he really knew anything. Not now that he’d discovered the guard he had on me had been less than observant on probably more than one occasion. I gave him an answer that I could tell shocked him.

“Yes.” 

August waited for me to elaborate and I continued almost immediately with barely a hesitation.

“He came by the gym one day. My class was canceled and I was on my way out. He invited me to dinner.” I paused then, and gauged his reaction. I wondered if he could feel me doing so. “I declined, if you care to know.”

“There’s no need to be a brat about it. What night was this?” he asked me.

“It was a day, August. Middle of the day.” When I told him what day it was, he clenched his jaw. “You can call the gym, check the logs. He showed up, worked out, chatted me up, and then I left before him.”

“Alright, but was there a night you didn’t spend at home?”

“Why do you think I spent any night away from the apartment?”

“Maybe you should just answer my questions without any more sass. Or are you looking for something tonight?”

I stared defiantly back at him, because I was. I could see him getting turned on and imagined his dick was probably already hard. It shouldn’t turn him on to have me so disagreeable, but it did. He narrowed his eyes, tilted his head, and waited for my answer. I think it hurt his feelings that I simply carried on with my explanation rather than admitting what I wanted from him.

“The electricity went out in my building one night. I called a friend to see if I could stay over. It was incredibly hot that day and I was never going to be able to sleep without AC. She picked me up and it wasn’t until I got back the next morning that I realized I’d forgotten my phone.”

And then I picked right back up with my insolence.

“But I noticed there were no missed calls or messages from you anyway.” I took another drink, with a devilish smirk on my lips.

“Get up,” he growled at me.

“But I’m not done eating, August.”

“You are. Get up. Now.” August watched as I shoved my chair back and stood. “Now if you want something else to fill that bratty little mouth of yours, why don’t you crawl on over here?”

I saw the pleasure on his face as I sank to my knees before placing my hands on the plush rug beneath the dining table and slowly made my way to him, eyes connected to him the entire time. He turned his seat to face me.

“I am still hungry,” I purred when I reached his lap. “What else did you put on the menu tonight?”

August leaned back in his chair and spread his legs wide as he rested one arm on the table beside him and smoothed the other down his inner thigh.

“Is this one of those meals I have to prepare myself?” I dared to tease and I could see through his pants the way August got even harder as I continued to dish out the attitude.

“It’s practically ready now. You just have to take it out.”

I reached up to unzip his trousers then slipped a hand through the opening of his silk boxer shorts and licked my lips at the sight.

“I have to warn you, I’m particularly ravenous tonight,” I smiled up at him as he drew his hand to my head and pulled me closer.

“It’s a good thing this is all for you then.” 

August pulled my head down and closed his eyes as he struggled not to thrust his hips when my mouth wrapped around him. He simply guided me lower and when I opened for him, the look on his face betrayed the way he relished the feel of the back of my throat and the way I gagged while trying to swallow my saliva around his dick. I looked up at him and he opened his eyes to watch the tears of pleasure spill down my face. I never shied away from choking on his dick and I held my own as he began to bob my head in earnest. I kept my mouth wide open when he finally drew me away from his lap just before he grabbed a hold of his own cock to finish himself. He loved watching his seed drip down my face. I knew it made it so much easier for him to get hard again, especially when I swiped my fingers through his spend and wrapped my lips around them to suck them clean.

In the post orgasmic haze after he’d taken me to bed and defiled me a few more ways, he sat up to ask me a question and I noticed he watched my reaction carefully.

“We’re going on another trip, you and I. We’ll return separately this time. I have something I need to bring into the country and I want you to carry it for me. Will you do that for me?”

With some hesitancy, I agreed. I hoped August would take it as a sign that Matteo was nothing but wrong about me. I needed him to feel I was truly and deeply his and that I was only just now beginning to understand that the club wasn’t his only business. 

I was late to the rendezvous back in the States, but I did arrive with all the cargo still intact. After apologizing profusely, I stayed quiet and demure, presenting an obvious change from my behavior at previous meetings when he didn’t think I had a clue what business was going down. Now I remained meek and a little wide-eyed as I watched him complete his business transaction, trading a portion of the drugs for a few large duffles of cash. 

Later in bed, I broached an earlier subject with what was obviously surprising new information for him.

“August, I have to tell you something,” I said, drawing circles over his chest with my fingertips.

“What is it, love?” 

“I’m worried about you.”

“Worried how?”

“Is what we did this time what you do all the time? Is that what taking care of business is for you?”

“Are you having a hard time calling it what it is, Francesca? Did you think I only bought the drugs you and I used together?”

I sat up to face him. “I always wondered, but I didn’t know until now. And it worries me. I don’t want you to get into trouble.”

“What trouble would I get into? Are you worried about your FBI friend?”

“August, he’s not my friend anymore. Please you have to believe me. But it does worry me. You said there was nothing to worry about, that he had nothing on you. But we’ve just moved a shit ton of illegal drugs into the country. That doesn’t feel like nothing to me.”

“Everything is under control, Francesca. There’s nothing to worry about. Besides, I have plans to get out of that business.”

“Sooner or later?”

“What is with all these questions?”

“It’s just…okay, look. Please don’t be mad. I don’t want you to think I’ve been taking advantage of you. This really did just happen.”

August sat up now himself, as if he was suddenly concerned about the direction this conversation was headed.

“What really just happened, Francesca?”

“It’s honestly perfect timing. It means we could leave here now, leave everything behind and never look back. I have a house now, in Europe, that no one knows about. And enough in a trust fund to keep us set for the rest of our lives together.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” August was becoming agitated. This was new information and I could tell it concerned him that he didn’t know it was a possibility that I wasn’t the down-on-her-luck struggling yoga instructor he thought I was. He must be wondering who had dropped the ball on my background search.

“August, I love you. I don’t want to see you get into trouble. I want us to be together and I don’t think it’s safe here for you any longer. Give the club to someone else and walk away with me.”

August

August was now convinced Francesca wasn’t a threat to him, and he wanted the same to be true for the rest of his team, but someone was talking out of school and he needed to find out who. August and Mateo conferred in quiet corners and behind closed doors. Assignments were given to test loyalties, background checks run again to see if any conflicting information would appear. 

Mateo was still not convinced about Francesca, especially knowing she had connections no one uncovered before and he told August it was for the best that he didn’t loosen her security detail. August continued to put her off, every time she brought up getting out of the business and hoped he could eventually convince her to let that go. A second home in Europe would be most welcome, but he was never gonna give up his life and run away. 

A couple weeks later, after even more new information had turned up, August finally had what he needed. He knew who was spying and he knew how he wanted to take care of it. No one would ever expect they’d be taken to Paris to be exposed and taught the ultimate lesson. 

He had Francesca packed and ready to go when security arrived to drive them to the airport. It was a quiet flight, even if August did give in let her suck him off in the first class cabin. He really did have such a hard time denying her when she got down on her knees for him. The pout on her face when he wouldn’t let her climb onto his lap might have broken a weaker man.

When they arrived at the hotel, he watched Francesca unpack as he always did. He loved to watch the surprise on her face each time she pulled a new item from the bag and she was always eager to put his choices on display for him. His impeccable taste never failed him; every last article of clothing and accessories complimented her body in a way he imagined she had never felt before. It was as if the act of choosing her attire was the first stage of foreplay August used when he made love to her. If his fingers couldn’t caress her, the fabric and material would, molding to her body and holding her firm.

He spent the afternoon ravishing Francesca in bed, chasing every high he could get as if it might be the last. He tasted every inch of her body, nipping and tonguing along the curves and lines, dipping into the valleys. He held her down, wrists above her head, strong legs spreading her wide while he worked his fingers deep into her, stretching and stroking and smoothing and coaxing early waves of pleasure from her.

August swallowed her gasps of pleasure and howls for more, his lips crushing hers while his tongue slid in deep beside hers. He flipped her over and hauled her ass into the air, kneading and squeezing and groping as he bent low and pressed his tongue along her slit, tasting all the slick she’d made just for him.

He knew it was for him by the way she cried his name, begged him to relieve her, and pleaded for a final release. She was a mess and he still wasn’t done. With his cock deep in her drenched pussy, he popped his thumb in his mouth and licked some saliva on it so when he pressed it against her tight pucker it slipped in with ease. Francesca backed right into it with no hesitation and he knew he’d be able to get all the way in again tonight. She was absolutely ready and wanting that.

He took some time lubing and loosening her up. He had three fingers in with his cock still pumping and she wasn’t showing any signs of wanting him to stop. When August finally pushed the tip in, he could feel the way she drew him in. God, how she wanted to be fucked in the ass.

He did that for her, or so he told himself. He couldn’t quite admit that even if she hadn’t wanted it tonight, he may have taken her this way sooner or later. It was what gave him the ultimate orgasm and it was only a bonus that she loved it, too. August thought about how it might have been fun to add a man to their bed so she could choke on a dick while getting railed from behind, in either hole. 

Once they were cleaned up and dressed, August ushered Francesca down to the hotel lobby to meet Mateo for the drive to the club.

“August, baby. This isn’t the way to the club,” Francesca commented, glancing out the window.

“And how would you know the way to the club, darling? We’ve never been here together before.” He watched her closely, scanned her face and body for any twitch, any shiver, any tell. As always, he found nothing.

“The GPS says,” she answered, pulling her hand up from beside her and showing him the mapping app that was clearly flashing to recalculate a route. “I always love to see directions. It helps me get used to the city. God, I hope we come back here someday. I always wanted to see Paris. Now that we’re here, I never want to leave.” 

Francesca turned back to peer out the window again and August watched her marvel at the lights and buildings around them. For all her sharp edges, August always found the wonder in her eyes endearing. Though he did find it odd when he realized she had most likely spent time in Europe, though she acted as if everything was brand new each time. When they pulled up to the warehouse, he restrained a small smirk when she commented that it didn’t look like the kind of club that suited her dress. 

That was her way of saying the spot looked haggard and run down and maybe a little beneath them. And of course it was. It was a warehouse. It was most definitely not a club.

August let her enter first, door held like a gentleman before he turned the handle over to Mateo and entered himself. He didn’t bother hiding the lick of his lips as he watched her ass in the tight dress strut forward in front of him. He could tell she was still horny from the afternoon.

August caught her as she stumbled back into him, seemingly to escape the sight in front of her.

“August, what is this?” He could hear her voice break when she asked the question.

“What does it look like darling?” he answered. Something in her answer would hopefully convince Mateo he had been wrong when he pointed a finger at her. August felt differently, partly due to his previous conversations with her and partly due to the very little actual evidence Mateo presented to make his case. August countered with the more obvious details that pointed to the man in the chair. 

“August, you said I had nothing to worry about with you. You said…” she leaned into him, and August thought he detected at least a hint of terror. It would be the first time she’d broken like this before him, though he was sure she barely knew this man sitting before her, beaten unconscious. Will Shaw had hardly ever been around when she was. Maybe a few nights at the club, but always on the periphery.  She didn’t know him, she could only see the state he was in, probably barely hanging on. Of course she’d flinch. This wasn’t the first time he was showing her his hand, but it was a doozy.

“August, please. Did you know what was happening here? You have to help him. You can’t let him die. If you help him, that’ll count for something,” Frankie pleaded with him. “You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to hurt people.”

“Francesca, you’re a very smart and resourceful woman. I’ve grown extremely fond of you. I want you with me, but you do need to know there is a dark side you haven’t seen yet. Sometimes, people work against me. Sometimes, they are looking out for themselves, trying to take from me more than they deserve. Sometimes, they have a sinister motive. Maybe they want to take my business, run me out of the game.” August walked Francesca cautiously towards Will, keeping a firm grip on her arms. “And sometimes, they want to hurt me. Sometimes they think they have the right to keep me from the work I was destined to do and they try to get me in trouble. Will here was trying to get me into trouble.”

August spun Francesca to face him, searching her eyes for understanding. 

“Francesca, do you think it’s right for someone to pretend to be someone they aren’t? And then to use that subterfuge to ingratiate themselves into my life so they could try to find unflattering details about my work?”

August watched Francesca blink and saw her pupils dilate. The way her iris had let the black overtake it told him what he needed to know: she was scared. It was good enough for him.

“Nnn..no, August,” she stammered. “But he’s really hurt. Lemme help him.”

August wasn’t prepared for the way she twisted from his grip, so she was on her knees next to Will before he had a chance to take hold of her again. He watched her touch him tentatively, perhaps checking for a pulse as she pushed his watch out of the way and set her fingers on his wrist. She set a hand on the back of his neck and tilted his head back as she pulled his eyelids gently open to check for any reaction. The way her shoulders relaxed told August Will was still alive.

“Anything you think you can do for him? It’s of no use. Francesca, this is something you need to get comfortable with. I will not allow someone to hurt me. Do you understand?”

Syverson

Frankie had been out of pocket and unreachable for weeks now. Syverson knew every move she made, along with August Walker, but the fact that she wouldn’t answer his calls or texts, even on the burner phone number he’d been given made him nervous. Or perhaps frustrated was a better word for it.

He continued to liaise with Director Marshall, usually through Ramos, and continued stacking evidence against Walker even though there was nothing he could do about it for now. His superiors weren’t happy about the fact that another agency was blocking his case, but pressure from even higher up forced them to accept the stalled state of the investigation. 

He spent days in surveillance locations and nights thinking about Frankie in his bed. He had to keep reliving those moments to fend off the visuals of her and August together. What he wouldn’t give to have her next to him again, begging for his touch.

He had signed off on the joint agency paperwork that would allow Frankie back into the country with the dope August was peddling, but he hated how much deeper she was getting with August. She was now openly transporting for him which meant August was placing his trust in her even more than before. 

Taglists

He also wanted to trust she knew what she was doing, but he feared for her safety, no matter how good of an agent she was. Victoria continued to assure him that Walter had everything under control, but he only wanted to hear it from Frankie’s mouth directly. Apparently, until the CIA was done with their case, that was never gonna happen.

Chapter 7

Everything Henry:  @sillyrabbit81 @kittenofdoomage @mayloma @kebabgirl67 @fvckinghenrycavill @geralts-yenn  @beck07990  @itsrubberbisquit @sweetdreamsofgelato  @liveoncoffeeandflowersss   @alexakeyloveloki @marantha @aireraume  @angelmather1 @lizzystuffsthings  @enchantedbytomandhenry  @omgkatinka  @littlefreya @avengersfan25 @thesaucynomad @just-chirpin @henryownsme

Walk with Me only (I added you if you reblogged or asked and Tumblr would let me): @kingliam2019 @valacircareads @sofiebstar @cardierreh15​ @firstcashheroathlete​ @ylva-syverson​ @sunriserose1023​ @cavilladdict​ @angreav​ @ellethespaceunicorn​ @mis-lil-red​ @peaches1958​ @xhoneyxbeex​ @livisss​  @hangmanscoming​ 

[georgies-ftts]

my thoughts and opinions on this weeks episode as someone who didn’t have time to watch last weeks episode, has never watched live american telly before and has discovered a new found hatred for your adverts. Also i swear a lot.

let’s begin

(spoilers obviously don’t be a knob)

1. he cannae be captain he’s only got two stripes on his epilette why are we focusing so much on this man

2. Bobby eyeing up that gun I like that (the acting)

3. this guy is giving me uncanny valley and i don’t like it

4. hehe dongle

5. i mean fair enough… in and out just like he said

6. Hen love of my life where the hell have you been loca

7. “and you won’t be anymore either” that’s actually dead funny to me

8. husbands that saw together survive trauma together <3

9. “everyone survived” i know foreshadowing when i see it

10. there’s a lot of drunk driver hatred (as deserved) somethings gonna occurr

11. oh he’s dead… lol karma fuckhead

12. Hen, i love you but why can noone on telly give me actual realistic CPR… break them ribs girl

13. christ these american adverts are weird

14. let me tell you advertising prescription medicine isn’t actually a normal thing to do

15. I don’t know boss man am no a dr but that’s an awful lot of blood are you sure you should still be breathing????

16. “Are you happy” “Yeah, Yeah I am” i have a feeling that’s all about to change buddy

17. just me or can anyone else not see a fucking thing that’s going on this episode why’s everyone in the dark for?

18. moving on from that i love the lighting in the office scene… chefs kiss

19. EXCUSE ME SHE WAS DOING HER JOB, NEXT YOU’LL SUSPEND HER FOR CODLING THE DRUNK DRIVER AND GIVING HIM TEA AND CHEEK KISSES PISS OFFFFF

20. Why do American comm’s systems always fail whenever you actually need them

21. They were axed to pieces. I will let you off -_- this time…

22. “I didn’t shoot him” honestly… same i hope you get yer pay out boss

23. Athena please for the love of god pop a paracetamol or a codeine and chill the fuck out

24. cause it has never been hard enough for them you just had to add a bastard bomb

25. ITS BEEN 5 MINUTES WHY MORE ADVERTS

26. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ADVERTISING TO YOUR CITIZENS

27. The Rookie ad i love it carry on

28. If he wasn’t under the influence then he was just being a cunt and hen had every right to react as such thankyou very much

29. Oh my fuck what is happening - don’t tear them apart i’ll start crying

30. Bitch you’re taking on water stop being a pussy and help

31. “Don’t test me.” Queen, you rag his arse

32. “port stabilisers are gone” surely you should be tilting like a bitch right now or did i miss a frame

33. MORE FUCKING ADVERTS????

34. why’s that lizard from london?

35. WHY ARE YOU ADVERTISING DEMENTIA MEDICATION THAT IS LITERALLY ADVERTISED ALSO AS A DEATH PILL WHAT DO YOU MEAN COMA AND DEATH THATS NOT HELPING

36. “i didn’t save him either” he quite literally refused your help despite being detained

37. didn’t get that SS Menow reference… try the Mayflower next time

38. “Saving the ship” “course she is” GIVE THEM ONE MOMENT OF PEACE PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU

39. okay good they are tilting like a bitch i will shut my mouth

40. NO STOP TILTING LIKE A BITCH I DONT CARE ABOUT REALISM I TAKE IT BACK NO

41. HOW MANY MORE ADVERTS DO YOU NEED

42. i don’t know but all your meds just seem to be doing the opposite of.. you know… keeping you alive.

43. woah therapy flash back get me one of those

44. you forgot to mention imminent death in your therapy session Mr Sir

45. “We did what we had to do” YOU’RE ALLOWED TO LIVE TOO.

46. “I couldn’t save my first family and I can’t save you either” and what if that was my last straw Robert Nash

47. ABC you can tone down the writing now i’m fucking sobbing

48. FUCK YOU AUSTRALIAN MAN I WAS CRYING MY EYES OUT

49. glad the us also have those Haribo ads

50. first time in my almost 20 years of life where i’ve seen an ADVERT for ANTIDEPRESSANTS that also actively make you MORE DEPRESSED

51. Hen i knew you were slaying you’ve never not slayed <3

52. no need for it was there mr boss man? no didn’t think so

53. You have no jurisdiction past the Gulf of Mexico??? ummmm??? distressed cruise ship full of your citizens???? idk??? do something????

54. oh. welp. no surviving that one, have fun with poseidon my loves

55. i don’t know about you but once i’ve been capsized like that in anything bigger than a kayak im giving up…

[thefrenchydude]

Murderous Lust - Chapter 2

As the evening progressed, the atmosphere in the grand manor shifted subtly. The celebration continued, but Reader's unease grew stronger. He couldn't shake off the feeling that the demons, Liu'er mihou and Sun wukong, were watching him intently, their gazes like daggers cutting through the air. He tried to brush off the sensation, attributing it to his own paranoia, but the tension in his muscles persisted.

Reader discreetly excused himself from the party for a moment, needing to catch his breath and clear his mind. He slipped out onto a lavish balcony adorned with hanging vines and soft, ambient lighting. The festivities sounds were no more than a gentle murmur.

The cool night breeze provided a temporary reprieve from the suffocating ballroom. He leaned against the marble railing, his heart racing, trying to shake off the foreboding sense that had settled over him.

"You seem troubled," a voice spoke from the shadows, sending a shiver down Reader's spine. He turned to find Liu'er mihou standing there, his dark purple eyes fixated on Reader. Despite the elegance of his attire, the simian's aura exuded a raw, primal power that made Reader's breath catch.

“Your highness”, gasped Reader, bowing himself forward.

“You don’t need to be formal with me. Now, tell me, what’s got you to leave the festivity.”

He found himself intimidated by the commanding presence before him. When they talked last time, he wasn’t impressed by the dark simian king. His though only burning with anger against Da Xia and with concern for the poor man that got hurt. But now that the adrenaline rush had worn off and that it was just the two of them, he couldn’t help but to feel afraid of him. He was such an imposing demon, he was king for a reason after all.

Reader's voice quivered slightly as he replied : "It's just... the grandeur of the celebration, I suppose. It can be overwhelming at times. And I haven't got used to this kind of life yet."

Liu'er mihou stepped closer, his gaze unwavering. "New experiences often carry both excitement and uncertainty. But there is more to your unease, isn't there?"

Reader's brow furrowed in confusion, unsure how Liu'er mihou could sense his deeper turmoil. 

"I... I'm not sure what you mean.”

Liu'er mihou's gaze softened, and he leaned against the railing beside Reader. "It's not uncommon for those who have faced hardships to carry their burdens long after the storms have passed. Your eyes hold a story, Reader. A tale of strength, resilience, and a determination to rise above."

Reader's heart skipped a beat, his unease giving way to a pang of vulnerability. How could this demon, a creature of legend, perceive his inner struggles so keenly?

"You're perceptive," Reader admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. After a short time in his own reflection, Reader turned to face the simian and focused in order to plunge into his eyes. He never has been good at that, but he wanted to try, maybe this time he could see something, a part of the king’s story, a glimpse of his thoughts.

"That's curious," Reader mused, his voice tinged with a hint of self-reflection, "no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to perceive any stories through your eyes. I suppose I'm less attuned to perceiving that kind of things than you are. Or, perhaps it's due to your long life, your story is too long to be seen through your eyes ."

“But your story is quite as long as mine.” Smiled Liu'er.

Reader laughed.

“I doubt that, it feels like I’ve just been born. Even if to get in here it took me so much time, it’s as if I’m just a child discovering the world once again. Happily Lex is here to lead the way. I would be lost without him. I wouldn’t even be here without him.”

A loud noise startled Reader and he saw that Liu'er's face was no longer relaxed and jovial, but serious and tense. The fur on his neck was standing up.

As soon as he saw Reader looking in his direction, he tried to calm down as best he could.

"Are you well, Your Highness?" asked Reader.

He smiled, an obviously fake one, and replied that he simply felt tired. With that, he wished Reader a good night and left.

Reader remained there, lost in thought, gazing up at to the sky, which was disappearing behind rain clouds.

Then his eyes slid to the balustrade, where hands were now engraved. Something was wrong. Why had he left the party to talk to a simple man like Reader? To apologize for his daughter's behavior? No, he hadn't made any excuses. Maybe… he just wanted to talk. No, there was more. Plus he got angry, he even engraved his hands in the railing.  And the fact that he tensed up when Lex was ta…

Lex!

Without knowing why, fear overcame Reader and he rushed back into the ballroom. Running down an empty, cold corridor, entering the overcrowded, oppressive ballroom in search of the one he loved. Something inside him had awakened, something that would never leave him. That fear of losing the one his heart belonged to.

"Lex !," Reader's voice was silenced by the constent noises, as he swept his gaze across the crowded ballroom, searching for his husband. His heart raced, the fear that had lain dormant for so long awakening within him. He threaded his way among the whirling dancers, his eyes searching for the familiar face he hoped to see.

As he made his way through the guests, a familiar silhouette emerged from the crowd. Lex's worried expression mirrored Reader's own anxiety. They found themselves in the center of the ballroom, surrounded by the whirlwind of music and celebration.

"What's wrong?" asked Lex, in a voice soft but laced with concern.

"I was… I was…"

Reader was so reassured to see him. He couldn't explain what had happened to him, how he felt. He simply took him in his arms.

"Dear?"

"Where are the kings?" Reader asked."

"They are gone, they said they had things to think about."

Reader sighed with relief.

o0o

Days passed and the celebrations was now totally stopped. Lex's popularity among the higher-ups had increased since that evening. He had talked to the right people. Since then, he had been working on his political plans to find out what he would propose to the citizens in the election for the city's future mayor.

Reader, he was always at his side, never leaving him for too long. Ever since his discussion with Liu'er mihou, he hadn't been able to shake the fear of losing his lover. He'd felt this kind of fear before, when he was still a child, at the institute… The institute, he could hardly stop thinking about that sordid place.

He needed to talk. But he never talked about the institute to Lex... maybe it was time.

“Lex, can we talk please ?”

“Yes sweetie, what’s wrong ?”

“I haven’t be honest with you about my past.”

“What do you mean?”

“I said that I lived terrible things, that I had to kill to get the right to live. But… I haven’t told you the truth about why I had to.”

“To survive ?”

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

Frustration builds as much as the fear of telling the truth. What if Lex hated him by learning all about the institute, about his "comrades".

“Listen," said Lex calmly "I seek no more than to understand you and to know more about you, love. But even if the past has a way of influencing the present, it doesn't have to define it. I believe the choices we make now shape the future we create, not our past. So don’t feel obligated to reveal anything that would hurt you. Because I’m in love with you, no matter your scars. I can live with them, and I will help you soothe their pain. But that’s not them that I married, but you. I love you for who you are, not for who you were."

And just like it, all the fears and the tension Reader would have felt has been gone.

“Thank you… I love you so much, Lex” Reader's said, at the verge of tears.

Normally, Lex would have replied, "I love me too," but he sensed his husband's distress and simply couldn't joke at a time like this.

They hugged. In his embrace, Reader felt safe again. Away from the wolves that had dominated his life and driven him to do horrible things. Away from the institute. He was free and loved.

If only he knew that in no time at all, he'd lose everything, not to the wolves, but to two simians who, from the Flower-Fruit Mountain, were already planning how they were going to seize Reader's freedom.

A plan that had quickly been put in place as they received a sealed royal missive.

o0o

End chapter 2

Sorry if there is mistakes or sentences that doesn't mean anything, I tried my best to make it work. The bonus will be out tomorrow (sorry ;---;) Have a great day/night, bye !

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