#i’ve been waiting for a sudden surge of brainpower to make it look better

[kreuzwalt]

[erlenmeyertrash]

An Oddish Occurrence

…so i had this one sudden headcanon thanks to @prinxietys‘ post yesterday and. well. here are a bunch of words on it now whoops

Logan loved vocabulary.

He adored the intricacies of the English language- how there are so many ways to describe what happens in the world, how many different paths can be taken to convey a message. Linguistics, to him, was a wildly important science in its own right, with its own theories, history, rules, rule exceptions, and near-constant evolution. The logical side always enjoyed learning slang. Word-association games were his favorite (and Patton’s puns, although often rudimentary, did slightly impress him with Patton’s innate understanding of subtle wordplay). He would fight to the death for the Oxford comma. He knew the subconscious order of adjectives (opinion size age shape color origin material purpose) by heart.

…and poetry? Oh, don’t get him started.

The technique, the brainpower, the skill behind finding words that matched in syllable and sound, putting them together to form coherent sentences and tell stories… Logan marveled at all of it. From Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales and Shakespearean sonnets to modern-day rap music, he definitely had a soft spot for brilliant balladry.

…That did not mean, however, he appreciated singing- specifically, Roman’s singing at 7:30 in the morning.

“Little town, it’s a quiet village

Every day like the one before

Little town, full of little people

Waking up to say…”

“FOR THE LOVE OF- DUDE. SHUT UP. IT’S SATURDAY.”

“…No, Sleeping Broody, the villagers all say Bonjour. That doesn’t even rhyme. Why would you think they s- HEY!”

Logan yawned and rolled out of bed, clumsily grabbing his glasses off the nightstand and adjusting them on his face as he did so. He heard Patton’s voice from the kitchen over Roman and Virgil’s bickering and sighed in relief- if anybody was well-versed in damage control, it was the fatherly side.

“All right, all right, you two. I know Thomas had an early start, what with the road trip and all, but it’s still a little early for fighting, don’cha think? Here- who wants to help with breakfast?”

The logical side perked up at the mention of food, getting dressed a bit faster before heading down the hall to the kitchen. Roman was pressing buttons on the coffeemaker with a dumbfounded expression; on the opposite side of the kitchen, Virgil was carefully pouring milk into a measuring cup as Patton rummaged through the fridge. At the sound of Logan’s footsteps, Patton glanced up and narrowly missed banging his head on the top of the fridge.

“Morning, Logan!”

Logan merely nodded in response, shuffling over and gently swatting Roman’s hands off the Keurig before pressing several buttons with well-practiced hands. Roman let out an indignant huff before reaching over to grab the cream and slide it closer.

“I could’ve figured it out, you know,” he grumbled, taking mugs out of the cabinet and passing them over. Logan just raised a sarcastic eyebrow in response.

Minutes later, the four of them were all gathered around the table, a steaming coffee cup and pancake plate sitting in front of each one.

“So!” Patton started brightly around a mouthful of pancake. He swallowed before continuing. “Since Thomas can kind of run on autopilot for this road trip, what does everybody have planned? I was just gonna watch him play on his old Gameboy- you guys have no idea how glad I am he found that thing!” The moral side wiggled in his seat, unable to contain his happiness.

“I was gonna rewatch Stranger Things,” Virgil replied, adding a fifth Splenda to his coffee. Roman wrinkled his nose in disgust before turning back to Patton.

“I will most likely spend a short while spinning up some trains of thought to use if Thomas gets bored, but… other than that, maybe polish my sword. Take a rest day. Ooh, maybe watch some old cartoons!”

Patton visibly brightened at Roman’s sudden idea. “Oh, my goodness, that sounds so fun! Can I join?”

“Why, of course! There is no one better to nostalgize with.”

Patton beamed before turning to Logan. “What about you, Logan? What did you wanna do today?”

Logan mulled for a moment. “Well, there’s no real schedule to adhere to, considering Thomas is traveling with friends at the moment. I may simply go through the memory record books and make sure everything is in order.”

…or at least, that’s what he wanted to say. When he opened his mouth to reply, foreign words suddenly spilled out before he could help himself.

“I wanna be the very best

Like no one ever was-”

Logan threw his hand over his mouth.

Patton blinked, grin wavering slightly. Virgil choked on his coffee. Roman snorted, glancing up in surprise.

“…Care to repeat that?”

I- I’m sorry, I don’t know what just-

“To catch them is my real test-”

Logan paled. …Oh, no.

It had happened before, on rare occasion; he had been lucky enough to be alone then.

Since Logan was the Side that most closely represented the brain- combined, he supposed, with his fascination with language- if a song ever got stuck in Thomas’ head, it seemed to… manifest… in Logan’s vocal chords. He was powerless to stop it from interfering with his own attempts at conversation.

It appeared that Thomas playing on his old gaming device, combined with Roman and Patton’s surge of nostalgic ideas, had caused Thomas to think of, of all things… the Pokemon theme song.

“To train them is-”

He bit down on his tongue. Hard. Glancing up, he realized Virgil looked slightly horrified, Patton looked a mix of confused and concerned, and realization was slowly dawning on Roman’s face as a devilish grin curled his lips.

“…What’s the matter, Logan? Meowth got your tongue?”

“I will battle every-”

Logan abruptly stood up from the table as Roman threw back his head in laughter. He opened and closed his mouth, realizing each time that his attempts at communication would fail, before turning and storming off to his room. His cheeks burned as Roman’s cackling followed him until he shut his door.

—

It wasn’t that he blamed Thomas. It was just that he was completely powerless until Thomas’ subconscious brain decided that was enough and moved on from its whimsical ploy.

It meant that Logan could be forced into embarrassed silence for a few seconds or a few hours. He suddenly remembered all the times those cringe-worthy radio pop songs had been stuck in Thomas’ head and shuddered involuntarily. Before, the logical side had holed up in his room and forced himself to fixate on anything else until he could open his mouth without Britney Spears or the likes of pouring out. Roman’s sudden light bulb moment involving old cartoons combined with Patton’s surge of happy nostalgia and Thomas’ lack of preoccupation had caught him completely off guard.

What would they think of him? He was Logic. He was supposed to be put-together, poised, and practical- not prone to sudden flights of fancy. Randomly bursting into song was much more Roman’s or Patton’s department; other than the fact that he was the likely the side most connected to the brain, it made very little sense for him to be the one to deal with these inopportune outbursts. Especially when Thomas had been in school, and studying- ugh. Those times had been the worst.

A sudden knock on the door pulled Logan out of his reverie; he glanced at it warily. If it was Roman, realizing what was happening and coming to poke fun at him…

“Hey, Logan. It’s me, Patton. Can I come in?”

Logan opened the door and Patton beamed before slipping into his bedroom. He glanced around, getting his bearings, before turning and fixing Logan with a concerned stare.

“…What was that? Are you okay?”

Logan opened his mouth to respond before stopping himself just in time. He looked down at his hands, then back at Patton, and nodded once before shrugging helplessly. He tried to convey that nothing was wrong, he was just… not perfectly all right.

Patton tilted his head. “…Did you lose your voice?”

Logan shook his head. Patton frowned.

“I want to help you, but if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, it might make it kinda difficult.”

“I know-”

Shush!

“…So you know? Why won’t you tell me?”

Logan clenched his fists in frustration. “Gotta-” NO-

“Gotta what?”

I’VE “GOTTA” WAIT THIS OUT BECAUSE I AM POWERLESS TO STOP IT-

But what came out was, “Each Pokemon to understand the power that’s inside!”

Patton’s jaw nearly hit the floor. “What is going on here?!”

Logan looked at him desperately, throwing his hands at the ceiling. “I know it’s my destiny-”

Patton looked panicked. “Did you- did something happen to Thomas? Did he hit his head?” The moral side stepped back for a moment, a pensive expression shadowing his features as he connected with Thomas’ feelings. After a moment, a wave of realization washed over his face- and then stark confusion.

“…Wait. So because he’s- that makes you-”

“Gotta catch ‘em all,” Logan sighed in affirmation.

“How long has this been going on?”

Logan glared at Patton, who grinned sheepishly. “Oh. Right. You kinda can’t- your vocabulary’s a little limited right now. Sorry.”

…Wait. An idea popped into Logan’s head at Patton’s words. His vocabulary may have been limited, but that didn’t necessarily mean he couldn’t communicate to some degree. After some quick recall of the lyrics, he carefully opened his mouth.

“It’s always been-”

“Huh?”

“It’s always been,” Logan repeated emphatically, gesturing towards Patton. I’m trying to answer your first question, please understand.

“It’s always- oh! You’ve always had this happen?”

Logan nodded.

“Any time Thomas gets a song stuck in his head?”

“‘Em all,” Logan confirmed.

Patton frowned. “…Why wouldn’t it happen to me or Roman, though?”

Logan thought for a moment. “I’ll teach,” he said slowly, gesturing to his glasses and necktie, before starting again. “-my rightful place.”

“Ohhh! Because your ‘place’ is like Thomas’ brain- that makes sense!”

Logan grinned and nodded. Patton was being remarkably perceptive.

“Why haven’t the rest of us noticed?”

Logan gestured to his room. “In a world we must defend.”

“You just hide in here?”

Logan shrugged before nodding in confirmation. It’s either that or sitting silently in the living room.

“How does it go away?”

“Our courage will pull us through.” The logical side shrugged.

“…What?” Patton scrunched up his face in confusion. Logan paused, thinking.

“The time is right,” he added.

“…It goes away when- ‘the time is right-’ so you just have to wait until Thomas stops thinking about it?”

Logan brightened at Patton’s successful deduction, giving him a thumbs-up.

“Well, until then, I’ll just be your translator! I might be a bit of a Slowpoke, but if you Digg-let me, I’ll catch on to what you mean pretty quick.” Patton looked absolutely elated at the new world of nostalgic puns he and Logan had just entered. Logan, hiding an internal groan, smiled at Patton’s helpful offer.

“Arm in arm, we’ll win the fight.”

“Sounds like a plan. Now- I know you didn’t finish your coffee or pancakes, and both of those are just too good to let go to waste… Weedle you say? Wanna head back? I won’t let Roman tease you too much- and I’ll explain to Virgil. You speaking so strangely kind of rattled him.”

“With courage I will face,” he said solemnly. Patton laughed before walking back over to the door.

“Well, come on then!”

“You’re my best friend.” Wait. Logan paused- he hadn’t meant to say that.

Patton just smiled softly at him; the laughter in his eyes was replaced by warmth. “Ditto.”

“Thomas, I get that playing on your old Gameboy is super fun, but can you please stop singing the Pokemon theme song under your breath? It’s getting stuck in my head now, too.”

“Huh? Oh! Sorry, Talyn.”