#i’ve been posting too much fluffy lately so have this angsty boy to balance it all

[exy-shmexy]

TW: angst, depression, mental health, loneliness

Andrew finding himself completely alone in his apartment during his first year going pro. the sole idea of calling something his fucking with his mind.

He dropped Neil off at the airport a couple hours before. A hollowness already gnawed at his mind when he watched Neil walk away to go back to PSU and leave him alone, but now that night has fallen and everything around him is quiet, the hollowness grows rapidly into something debilitatingly stronger. He hates himself for having let himself grow attached to people, to things, to stability and the constant presence of others around him which constantly reminded him he had people he could rely on, no matter how hard he tried and ultimately failed to keep them at arm’s length.

He heads to bed without eating, having no energy to smoke either. He sleeps, but he wakes up the next day even more tired than before. He knows what it is, knows he should call Bee, but he doesn’t even have the strength for that. He tells himself it’s his new life, he doesn’t have to text anyone, doesn’t want to bother them.

Neil texts him every day. Andrew can barely find the energy to answer most of the time. The Foxes’ group chat pings too much too often. He mutes it indefinitely.

Weeks pass and Andrew’s responses become even more sporadic. He is convinced no one wants to hear from him anyway.

Neil is worried.

Andrew hates that Neil is worried.

Andrew wants to disappear. He wants everyone to forget about him as if he were never there in the first place.

One day when he forget once again to sustain his own basic needs, there is a knock at his door.

Andrew doesn’t move from his couch. No one should be there, it’s probably some asswipe who wants to sell him something he doesn’t need. He ignores it but the knock comes again, more aggressive this time.

Andrew’s temper flares up immediately. He gets up and swings the door open only to find his carbon copy staring back at him with anger burning bright in his eyes.

“Good to know you’re still fucking alive, you asshole,” Aaron snarls, letting himself inside Andrew’s flat uninvited.

He shouldn’t be here. It’s the middle of the week. Aaron has classes and lives five hours away with Katelyn now.

“Why are you here?”

Aaron looks this close to exploding at his face. “You haven’t answered your phone in five fucking days. I thought you had done something incredibly stupid.”

Andrew is stunned. He didn’t want anyone to think about him, he didn’t think his own family would worry so he let his phone’s battery die completely. He doesn’t feel bad, not exactly, but he hates the angry relief in Aaron’s face now that he sees he’s alive.

“You look like shit,” Aaron sneers. His twin looks tired too, either from his flight or med school, or with worry but Andrew doesn’t want to think about that now. “Josten is on his way too, just so you know.”

Andrew doesn’t want to admit it, but relief floods mercilessly through his veins at the idea that there are people who care enough about him to check on him despite him putting his distance.

He doesn’t thank Aaron for coming all the way here, but he doesn’t push him away the entire time he is at Andrew’s place either.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Can I have, please, fluffy and cutie Johnlock new fanfics? Please. I'm having a bad week and I need some fluff in my life. :). Thanks.

Hi Nonny *hugs*

Ah, okay, so I have new fics I have sorted into my fluff lists, but I can’t guarantee that they’re *NEW*, like, written recently, LOL. I’ve been reading a lot of older, longer fics lately, so it’s not much, but I hope you will accept my list anyway, because I want you to feel better!

TOOTH-ROTTING FLUFF Pt. 6

See Also:

Tooth Rotting Fluff

Hugs & Cuddles and Tooth-Rotting Fluff (Pt. 2)

Hugs & Cuddles Pt. 2 / Tooth-Rotting Fluff Pt. 3 / Est. Relationship Pt. 2

Tooth Rotting Fluff Pt. 4

Platonics & Domestics Pt 2 / Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 3 / Tooth-Rotting Fluff Pt. 5 / Love Confessions, Slow Burn & Dev. Rel. Pt. 2 / Established Relationship Pt. 3 

John Will Never Forget by gelos (bia_mpinto) (NR, 244 w.,1 Ch. || Fluff, First Time, Love Confessions) – John will never forget Sherlock’s everything.

When Morning Comes by Youarethelightoftheworld (T, 423 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Lazy Mornings/Morning After, Fluff and Angst, Sleepy Cuddles, Domestic Fluff, Cuddling / Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort) – “Sherlock,” says John solemnly, “I’m not sure we can go anywhere today.”

New World, Old Words by thedeafwriter (G, 641 w., 1 Ch. || Deaf Sherlock, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Always John) – It was disconcerting to experience. One second, he was laying on the table, breathing in the gas that would make him sleep, the next, he was dragging his eyes open to look around the bright room, trying to wake up.

This Kiss by suitesamba (T, 731 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Drunkenness, Angst, Stag Night) – Stag Night - back at 221B - in a world where Mrs. Hudson doesn’t interrupt the guessing game with the client. Part 1 of The “This” Series

Easy like Sunday Morning by lbmisscharlie (G, 910 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Breakfast in Bed, Epic Friendship, Platonics/Domestics) – John and Sherlock and their lazy, dysfunctional Sunday mornings in bed. In which Sherlock has difficulty sleeping and John makes lots of toast. Shameless fluff. Part 1 of No Mushrooms Please

A Need To Know Basis by mattsloved1 (G, 934 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance) – As the cab door shut firmly, the DI had yelled out they were to make an appearance at Scotland Yard the next day. It was while John watched London pass by that it happened.

3:00 in the Morning is a Great Time to Talk by Aztecwarfareandcrumping (K+, 1,775 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Bed Sharing, First Person POV John, Cuddling, Worried Sherlock, Comforting John, Platonic Affection/Love) – “Are you trying to talk your way into my bed?” “Obviously.”

Like Euphoria and Scotch by FinAmour (M, 1,856 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3 Fix It, Five and Ones, Drinking, Pining, Second Person POV Sherlock, Armchair Sex, Cracky and Fluff, Sherlock’s Imagination, Happy Ending) – 5 different ways it all could have gone + the one way it actually works itself out.

Blanket Burrito by All_I_need (G, 1,894 w., 1 Ch. || Tooth Rotting Fluff, Pining Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Sort-Of Love Confession) – John, a blanket-wrapped burrito of laughing sunshine in a ratty t-shirt, notices. Of all the moments for him to be observant, this is the one he chooses.

Husband by jinglebell (E, 2,003 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., PWP, Anal, Multiple Orgasms, Fluff) – Sherlock orgasms when John refers to him as ‘husband’.

Heart’s a Mess by svenjastrange (NR, 2,249 w. || Fluff, Sherlock’s Mind Palace) – Sherlock’s heart is a mess.

Work On Your Balance by speculate (K+, 2,448 w. || Embarassed Sherlock, “For A Case”, Skating, Fluff, Friendship, Humour) – In which John is actually pretty good at ice skating, Sherlock’s not and insists it’s all for a case , and Lestrade is pretty amused by it all.

Pillow Talk by 221b_hound (E, 2,925 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, Est. Rel., Preening Sherlock, Limpet Sherlock, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Sex on Furniture, Scent Kink, Masturbation, Fluff, Soft Sherlock) – John gets home late from work and Sherlock is nowhere to be seen. John walks through the flat, distracted by memories of all the excellent sex they’ve been having, and finally finds Sherlock asleep in the upstairs room - apparently having fallen asleep mid-wank while inhaling the scent of John’s pillow. Well, you should always finish what you start, John thinks… Part 3 of Lock and Key

The General Idea by agirlsname (T, 3,022 w., 1 Ch. || Retirement, Promise of Forever / Proposal, POV John, First Kiss, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Soft Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Crying / Emotional Sherlock, Love Confessions) – After twenty years of friendship, John is used to Sherlock acting weirdly. But the news Sherlock finally brings himself to deliver change the carefully built dynamics between them, and John realises it’s time to act.

Posh Boy by panickedbee (M, 3,622 w., 2 Ch. || Kinks, RST, Pining, Sexual Frustation) – In his head he greets him with hey, handsome in the morning, calls him genius when he is being too clever again, calls him pretty man and silly git and sweetheart and, of course, posh boy. Part 5 of Sherlock Holmes Is A Very Lucky Man

Tree Topper by May_Shepard (E, 4,017 w. || Christmas Tree, Christmas Fluff, Drunken Shenanigans, Smut, First Time, Friends to Lovers) – Sherlock and John are celebrating Christmas the best way they know how–alone together, with booze. They’ve almost finished decorating their tree, but John is determined to find the best way to top it.

The Oolong Disaster by unicornpoe (T, 4,151 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Beard, Fluff, Humour, Frustrated Sherlock, John Takes Care of Sherlock, Case Fic-ish, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Possessive Sherlock) – John has a beard. Sherlock has a panic attack.

It Isn’t Strange Until You Think About It by ivyblossom (T, 4,596 w., 1 Ch. || For A Case, First Time, First Person John POV) – John tells the truth about how it happened. For some reason, “it’s for a case” always seems to do the trick.

A Quiet Murmuration by cathedral_carver (T, 4,684 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Cuddling & Snuggling, Kissing) – Just pay me back with one thousand kisses.

Pillow Talk by scullyseviltwin (M, 5,183 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Angsty Fluff, PIllow Talk, Bed Sharing, Worried John, First Time Morning After, Soft Sherlock, Sexuality Discussion, Love Confessions, Kisses and Cuddles) – John has been looking at Sherlock for ages, it feels like.

The Book of Silence by SilentAuror (E, 60,056 w., 2 Ch. || S4 Fix It / Post S4, Virgin Sherlock, Rosie / Parentlock, Domesticity, Fluff, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, First Person POV) – As spring blooms in London, John and Sherlock begin to take new cases and cautiously negotiate this new phase of life with John living at Baker Street again. Despite how well it’s all going, John struggles to forgive himself for the way he treated Sherlock following Mary’s death as well as trying to figure out how to finally put his long-time feelings for Sherlock into words. Part 1 of The Book of Silence/Rosa Felicia

[haikyuu-philia]

SHIPWEEK - DAY 1

Welcome to ShipWeek!

Today it's my turn to write a fluff oneshot for LevYaku - You will find an angsty one at Squishy's blog @how-to-voleebol!

I've been inspired by the headcanons for LevYaku that I posted a few days ago. If you read them, you might know what I'm talking about.

One hint: It's going to be fluffy! Metaphorically and literally ;)

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Witty Whiskers | Lev x Yaku

(1038 words)

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Sometimes Yaku highly doubted that his boyfriend had ever left the mental age of a toddler. For example in situations like this.

"Lev, no. We're not going to keep this cat."

It was his tenth time repeating this sentence as the other one didn't mean to listen to him. Instead he made his puppy eyes while playing with a tiny kitten in their apartment.

He pouted: "But it's soooooo cute. And since I've found it, I can keep it, right?"

Usually they would sit at the couch now and enjoy their weekly movie night. These plans had been crashed as soon as Lev had entered the door with a fluffy bundle in his hands.

"That's not the point. We're bringing it to a pet shelter because it's the best for him", the older man insisted.

With his arms crossed in front of his chest, Yaku looked down at the grey-haired one, who continued petting the cat.

It literally was a picture for the gods and he would love to take a picture of it. But he had to stay strong right now.

"Her."

A question mark appeared on his face: "What?"

"The kitten is a she and her name is Fruit Loops", Lev explained with his mouth forming a big grin.

As Yaku raised one of his eyebrows, he didn't know whether he should adore his boyfriend's cuteness or slam his head against a wall.

Despite his own rather sceptical reaction the giant did stop smiling at him. How could he have fallen that much for such an idiot?

In the meantime the cat had walked over to Yaku's legs, where it placed itself on one of his feet.

Quietly purring it seemed like it had fallen asleep only a few moments later. Most adorable trap ever. Not even Yaku in his rage-mode would dare to wake it up.

"Awwwwww, she likes you!", his boyfriend cheered halfly-whispering at the sight of him being caught at the spot.

Yaku sighted.

He would totally regret the following words at some point: "Since it's already pretty late, Fruit Loops can stay for a night. One night and you take care of her."

Within thirty minutes his boyfriend really managed to organize all the important things. Well, with some help of a specific occupied boy.

Lev ran to their neighbors that owned three cats to ask for some cat food, built a bed out of pillows and set up a bowl filled with water.

Meanwhile the brown-haired one didn't stir and was still standing the middle of the leaving.

Fruit Loops preferred to rest on Yaku's foot, not moving an inch.

After a long day at work the human was craving for laying on the couch or just going to bed. But he didn't know what to do.

Because his legs slowly began to feel tired, he chose the less frustrating option.

"Leeeeeeev?", he whispered to make his boyfriend appear around the corner. "Help me, please."

Pointing down to the fluffy ball named after Lev's favorite cereals, he gave him a sign to remain silent.

But it was to no avail as the giant immediately wheezed about Yaku asking for help, especially because of something as innocent as a little stray kitten.

For some seconds the so-called saviour disappeared again to come back with his phone in his hands without Yaku noticing it.

Though he could have sworn that he had seen a flash before the grey-haired boy started to type at his screen.

About a minute later, that they both had spent awkwardly starring at each other, Lev's phone buzzed. Someone was totally enjoying his situation.

Expecting the worst, the cat's preferred human raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms for the second time. What did he do now?

"Oh hey, Kuroo-san!" - Dear god, everyone but not him!

Even though he noticed Yaku rolling his eyes and mouthing him to cancel the call, the enormous toddler went on.

"Yeah, that's our cat, Fruit Loops!"

He could hear his former classmate laughing in the distance. Funny, very funny.

Before his boyfriend had the opportunity to spill more rumors, Yaku interrupted him: "I told you to help me. Not to spread the news that we are owning a cat now!"

And he instantly knew that he had made a mistake with choosing his words.

"I'll call you later, Kuroo-san. WE ARE OWNING A CAT NOW!"

As he saw Lev practically running at him, he tried to prevent the worst by automatically picking up the little kitten and mentally preparing himself for what was about to happen.

The moment their bodies touched, the nice invention called balance had left for vacation. And they ungracefully landed on the ground.

"Ouch," the smaller one, that was laying below the taller man, groaned.

Despite his hurting back Nekoma's former libero couldn't be angry with his brightly smiling love.

"We are going to keep her, right? Right?!"

The quiet meow from his hands sounded like the same question for him. After looking at Lev and at their guest, he sighed.

He had known Fruit Loops for an hour, but if she got hurt, Yaku would personally kill someone. She already had her own place in his heart.

So he agreed.

Surprisingly Lev didn't scream or cheered or did something else, which would have caused a lot of noise. He chose a silent way to express his gratefulness.

At first just slightly brushing Yaku's lips with his own, they soon ended up in a more passionate kiss.

After a short while Lev sank down next to his boyfriend. Both laying at the floor the kitten made its way to rest in between the two warm bodies.

"I love you." - "I love you too, Lev." - Meow.

The day had started with them just being a couple, but only a few hours later they had turned into a family of three.

At that evening Lev didn't call back Kuroo as they all fell asleep right on the spot they were at.

Never had sleeping on the ground been more comfortable. Just because they were together, the three of them.

If Fruit Loops had been able to, she would have taken a picture of her new owners snuggling and holding onto each other.

She couldn't have wished for a more loving home.

-----

I kind of feel like I messed up this one, sorry! But I promise to improve within this week (^o^)

[marypoppinswasmyfatherbitches]

Oh my goodness, I didnt see the link to your fanfic account! I am dumb. So ignore my previous ask and instead answer this one for the meme. 13, 3, 14, 1 and 2 for Happiness goes on? (I shall leave reviews on your beautiful fanfic soon I promise, they are good.)

(Hiii, sooo…this whole reply is late because I actually typed up ALL OF THIS last night, and then accidentally “x”-ed out of my browser and lost it all, because I am very very stupid. And then was too tired to retype it up before going to sleep. I hope I remember roughly everything, and apologies for that mistake.)

Oh! Haha! Alright then! Thank you! Don’t feel dumb at all for not realizing which AO3 account is mine or for your previous ask(which for others who are curious, said: “1 - 5 for all your fics! Just talk about your favs!”). I was prepared to choose 3 fics (including “Happiness Goes On” since that’s definitely the one I’m most proud of, so I guess that’s closest to a “favorite” right?), and go through the first 5 questions for each, though I won’t lie and say it wouldn’t have taken some time to answer.

BUUUT…since you said to scrap that first ask, I’ll answer these individual ones for “Happiness Goes On.” And your compliment and promise for a future review means SO goddamn much, thank you sincerely.

(WARNING / REMINDER: This is about my fic that deals with the subject of child molestation, and I do reference that a little bit in this reply. Don’t read further if it makes you uncomfortable, which I entirely understand and respect.)

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13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

HA! Well, American Pie obviously, for a majority of it. While brainstorming / writing / editing the epilogue? A lotta Billy Joel. ;)

The idea to use American Pie bounced into my brain when it came on the radio at the thrift shop where I volunteer, one of the rare times my own music speaker battery died. Usually a disaster, because our store radio is pretty crappy, but the sound quality wasn’t too bad that day, and I rediscovered how much I love that song and ‘Why isn’t this on my ipod again?’. Listening to the lyrics, I realized how much some of them fit the Guardians in general, and this story specifically, which I have Gamora mentally note in the fic. I was sitting and casually chatting with the manager while also thinking, ‘Google what year this came out when you get home, but I’m sure it’s the 70′s. Peter would know it, and it could be the Zune. I think it could work.’ I’m proud that I was able to reference the song so many times without actually naming it by title, but I assume most readers knew what it was, it’s just that famous. (I also couldn’t resist the light-hearted joke, later when things calmed down, of Gamora saying “This…is the longest song…I have ever heard.” and Peter smiling without even looking at her and giving a cheeky “I know.”)

In terms of using Billy Joel for the epilogue, I’m just a Billy Joel fanatic. The use of him for this story began just from the We Didn’t Start the Fire joke toward Rocket at the bar (I thought it was clever, Peter!), and later on I saw how The Longest Time fit romantically for Starmora, and some of the lyrics matched the healing themes of the overall story, and I thought ‘Maybe they’ve been playing BIlly Joel since that night; maybe that can be the joke.’ Why shouldn’t his Greatest Hits albums (at least) be on the Zune? I struggled a lot over what song should be the final one Gamora comments on before they switch artists to appease the group. I never specify which romantic Billy Joel song Peter and Gamora slow danced to during their “date night” in that six-week summary, but I like to imagine it was Just the Way You Are. I considered Keeping the Faith or Vienna for the final one, but I thought they deserved something more fun and naughty to analyze this time, so Only the Good Die Young it is. :D

In conclusion, I listened to The Longest Time, and the entire An Innocent Man studio album, a lot (as if I needed an excuse).3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

The portion in italics is my favorite line, but I’m including the entire sentence for context purposes: “She would need to grow used to him viewing Yondu as a caring parent who was extraordinarily protective of his boy, and would have hunted down this pervert to whistle a glowing arrow through her skull.”14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

Ohh geez, wow, that one is tough. I don’t know if it’s accurate to say this story was intended to educate, but just to explore the idea with fictional characters. I have no expertise on the subject, and would never claim such, or talk down to those who do. I didn’t intend to create a PSA. I suppose all of the “lessons” for Peter (if they can be called that) I hope all readers already know and agree on (basically a collection of “it wasn’t your fault” and “this doesn’t define you” and “trauma isn’t a competition, someone else suffering worse doesn’t invalidate your experience” and “you should feel comfortable talking about anything without judgement or shame” etc.).

Slightly lesser scale messages, there’s also reminders about the importance of communication, trusting each other, letting the other person speak in an argument, not letting one’s jealousy/instincts/bad mood interfere with fairness, not running away from a fight or staying angry, respecting boundaries and privacy, all that healthy relationship jazz that these two are still figuring out. 1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

This post is already very long, and I could probably talk for hours about the decision-making process for many scenes (of my GotG fics, this took the longest to write and publish, over 2 months), so I’ll try to condense this to a few bullet points that probably don’t fit the “inspired” criteria.

- It was originally going to be in two parts, 4 scenes each, when I thought the epilogue would be much shorter. But as the lil’ wrap-up got longer (because we needed a fluffy conclusion, dammit!), I decided to make it a separate “chapter.”

- I think the concept probably started as one of those strange, angsty “what if?” scenarios I make up in my head at night that I still can’t believe I created into a full-fledged work. I liked the idea of Peter and Gamora having this conversation and her comforting him, but I knew if I was really going to throw it out there for other fans, it had be more balanced with happier moments, too. I just know I was always going to make the offender a woman - both because it would lead to the misunderstanding that she was a past consensual hook-up when Peter was an adult to spark some irritation and jealousy in Gamora, and because it’s realistically different from other sexual assault stories, since women can be pedophiles and child predators too, and they’re just as horrible. :(

- The fanfic idea of “Gamora accidentally starts a fire while trying to cook, and Peter falsely accuses and lashes out at Rocket” was in my head before, but there were two key differences. 1) It was the entire plot, not a light-hearted subplot in the shadows of something bigger, 2) Meredith’s letter was either fully or partially burnt as a result of the fire. By the end Gamora was going to confess it was her fault, that she was trying to surprise Peter by cooking spaghetti, and he would apologize both to her and to Rocket for losing his temper and getting so angry. I hated that idea later and found it too sad (he’s already lost the Walkman and second cassette tape, why would I want him to lose even more from his mother?), and in “Spark My Memory” (the Christmas fic I wrote for “12 Days of Starmora”) the Guardians put his mother’s letter in the photo album gift for Peter, completely safe and unharmed. I like to keep all my fanfics canon-compliant and non-contradictory from each other, so the letter is fine, no burning it.

Yet “Gamora started a fire cooking” still seemed fun to me, as I like the idea that she’s so badass and skilled and intelligent, but failed at something so domestic and simple. Kinda cute. I was so excited to insert it into this, because I think it worked on multiple levels. It’s a driving force for the plot (the reason the team go to the restaurant and they stumble upon that particular waitress), the reason Gamora was already in a bad mood during her fight with Peter, it could be used as a metaphor/comparison for Peter’s anxiety and Gamora’s guilt, it was something for the Guardians to put at a higher priority to tease and mock Gamora for while oblivious to the main story, something for Peter to just break down into giggles over once they changed the subject (because he earned a good laugh after that heartbreaking and vulnerable childhood trauma story), an excuse to give Rocket so many funny lines, an overall silly and sitcommy-style subplot to fall back on, and a sweet “victory!” for Gamora to have (sort of?) conquered by the epilogue. ^_^2: What scene did you first put down?

This is easy. I’ve written all but one (8 out of 9) of my fanfics in order, except for “Just Like Everybody Else.” So ya, I wrote the opening scene first, Baby Groot’s magic trick lesson and Peter’s oh-so-cruel “can only be seen once” deception. I needed to ease readers (and myself) into the angst and heavy shit to follow, and that cute idea had also been in the back of my mind for a while. ^_^

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PHEW, OKAY, ALL RE-TYPED! Thank you again SO MUCH for the lovely ask and wonderful questions, your actual interest and curiosity thrilled me! You see I wasn’t kidding about the incessant babbling. :P

Thank you also for the kudos you left on AO3, and take care!~