#i’ve been playing and writing a lot recently but rn i’m just hanging out in my bedroom

[piss-bong]

rlly want other ppl involved in my creative process but don’t have anyone irl atm so if anyone wants to write shitty emo music w me uhhh messages are open

[why-what-no]

HI AGAINNNNN , i keep getting ideas in my head thats why ive sent more than one request in a week

but basically another billy hargrove x reader (ive been obsessing over dacre montgomery recently) i want it to be based off of the quote “i always thought u were the most beautiful girl ive ever seen” and i want u to make up everything else, let ur imagination take over fully, thats all ask, thank you so so much dude, and im sorry for only sending billy request rn but i appreciate it lots 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

Prom?

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Notes: Thanks for the request! I was getting bored today and was wishing for something to write. And don’t worry about only giving Billy request, I like writing them.

Prompt: “I always thought you were the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

The strobe lights above Billy were a pale imitation of ones at clubs in Cali or house parties thrown by kids with rich parents, he thought wryly.

It was his prom, and while he hadn’t ever really thought about what his prom would be like, he had always thought it would be in California. Not in Hawkins, in their little gym class with students dancing along to Top 100 music.

There was a red plastic cup in his hand, filled with spiked punch. He took sips every so often, standing to the side of the room and watching his peers bittersweetly celebrating the last days of their childhood. He, on the other hand, was just relieved for his education to be over.

“Billy!” Tina stumbled over to him, clearly having had too much of the punch. “You wanna dance?” She asked, smiling up at him.

“Didn’t you come with John?” He asked her with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah. But he’s hanging out with the other guys. He won’t mind.”

Billy considered it, but… “Maybe later, Tina.”

He had planned to go to the prom alone for a while, reasoning that he could dance with more girls that way. (The fact that the girl he wanted to ask already had a date might have played a part in that as well). But now that he was here, he wasn’t really interested in any of the girls.

Well, except for one.

He saw her across the room, sitting at one of the tables. Alone, which surprised him. (Y/N) had mentioned to him that one of the guys on the basketball team had asked her out, so he had no idea why he was currently dancing with Tina and not with (Y/N). With her dress, makeup and hair done up all pretty, it was a surprise that her date wasn’t sitting with her all starstruck.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He sat down next to her, seeing the glum look on her face. “Not dancing with Daniel? Isn’t today supposed to be one of the best nights of your life or whatever?”

She scoffed. “Right back at you.” Sighing, she looked over at the jock. “He’s barely looked at me all night, I feel like it’s pretty clear he’s not interested in dancing.”

That surprised him, although not much. He knew what a dumbass prick Daniel was. In fact, it had taken all Billy’s self control not to tell her that when she had first told him she was going to prom with that guy.

“Well that’s pretty fucking stupid of him.” Billy said, a twinge of annoyance in his voice.

“You think that?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“Shit. Maybe I should’ve gone with you.” She looked around. “Who’s the lucky girl, anyway?”

“I’m here by myself. So, I guess the lucky girl is you.”

(Y/N) laughed, reaching over to take a sip of his drink. “I guess so.”

He just looked at her. “Were you serious? About going with me?” He finally asked, his tone less joking then before.

“What happened to going alone?”

“Well. In my defence, I would’ve asked you but Daniel got there first.”

(Y/N) looked up at him, shock in her eyes. “That’s not funny.” She told him.

“Wasn’t joking. I actually…” He paused, wondering if he was actually going to say what he was thinking. Fuck it, he thought, might as well. “I always thought you were the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” He told her honestly.

“Really?” She was starting to smile, but a hesitant look still in her eye.

“Of course.” All he wanted was for her to know that he meant it. “Listen, I know it might be a little late for this, but.” Billy grinned at her. “You wanna go to prom with me?”

(Y/N) smiled for real this time. “Sure.” She responded, taking the hand he offered her as he lead her to the dance floor. Both of them ignoring Daniel, who was starting to look a little regretful of his decisions over the evening as Tina went back to her date and he was left all alone.

[thegracelessfaceless]

Hi love bug! Thank you so much in advance. Seeing your stuff in my ask box always makes me super happy.

So, I’m Elsie, she/her/hers, and bi (but I lean heavily towards men rn). I’m a Virgo sun, Scorpio rising and Aquarius moon. I’m also an introvert, but I love being around other people! I just get,,,,, tired easily.

I’m East Asian + Southeast Asian (Chinese and Vietnamese). I’m barely 5’0 tall! Long, black hair that reached my upper thighs and dark brown eyes that you can’t even see the pupil lmfao. I always have painted nails, usually red. I’m pretty athletic and I also like to think I have nice thighs—most of my workouts include building up my legs lol. I wear big gold hoop earrings. I also wear round Harry Potter glasses. My body isn’t very curvy, in fact I’m pretty flat but I am COVERED in stretch marks. I also have acne flare ups from time to time but it’s usually nothing noticeable anymore.

I’d like to think I’m a pretty chill person, likes to go with the flow and stuff like that. My friends say I’m often their therapist or their mom, which is kinda funny because that’s what I’m in uni for, to be a therapist. I’m a pretty determined and motivated person? I like to push myself pretty hard ngl but I also like to just hang out and take it slow. I also like to do stupid things like exploring abandoned buildings at 2am. I’m also big into intersectional feminism. I’ve also been told I’m really approachable and friendly, but bro I am so shy and quiet in public unless I get to know you.

I can get pretty stubborn tbh, it depends once again on what the topic is but once I’ve set my mind to it, that’s how it’s going to be. I also have low self esteem and my depression sometimes makes it hard for me to even get out of bed at times. I usually don’t know when to stop giving myself to other people, which means I get pretty exhausted and fast. I’m also prone to overthinking which stresses me out. And when I’m stressed, I can honestly get a little bitey.

I apologize to inanimate objects if I’ve bumped into them, and I also have a tendency to talk to myself? I also am a witch! I’m currently elbows deep in some deity work and ngl my energy is all over the place. I also have a weird habit of waving to security cameras I see in public because I like to think the people watching those cameras get a kick out of it lol.

I really like coffee, tea, singing with my ukulele, playing piano, drawing and art in general. I haven’t been able to draw as much as I’d like recently but I do have some animatics in my head. I also really like Victoria’s Secret perfumes, specifically strawberry pound cake—it’s what I always smell like lol. Crystals are super fun imo. I live next to a huge lake and it’s honestly one of my favorite places to be. Ocean animals are my favorite! I also really like car rides with like, one other person and just exploring the world and talking. The music I listen to is a lot of classic rap, lofi-hip hop, modern rap, some pop artists and Ella Fitzgerald, Gloria Gaynor, HaroinFather, KYLE, and ofc Hollywood Undead.

I cannot stand centipedes those things horrify me. I also don’t like rude people, bigots, people who purposely start drama or hypocrites. People who put other people down aren’t cool either. I don’t really like parties or being around lots of people, they make me anxious and kinda suffocated. People who try to force me to do stuff aren’t cool in my books either. I also think red meat is kinda gross, but that’s just because it makes me exhausted.

Eeeee I am so sorry if this is too much, but thank you so much in advance. Nothing but love to you, and all your future writing and everything you’ve done so far. 💕

Heyy! I almost hit the roof when your follow came in 😅.

So I told myself that Brian and Hoody are disqualified because of obvious bias, but, damn you make it hard!

So, Brian aside, I match you with...

The Puppeteer/Jonathan Blake

I know, I know, odd choice right?

But you came under his attention, and just when he thought you were getting ready to bend to his will, you'd rally. He found it... Refreshing that you keep fighting, no matter how low you feel.

Of course, he had to be persistent in gaining your trust. You weren't falling for his smooth talking ways. He tried not to use any information gained from his psychic gifts... but if they helped him know something you've really been wanting or something that's bothering him, that's a different story. It took him years to gain your trust and that was only after he slipped and let some of his old self, from before he became The Puppeteer, out. You seemed to prefer that side of him, so he revealed it more frequently.

Jonathan is an introvert too, and like you, being around other people can tire him out. He prefers nights in or long car rides with you with some good but soft music playing.

Jonathan finds it ironic that you want to be a therapist while his main method of feeding is by intensifying depression symptoms. In ways, you've softened him. He'll spare those who seem to have the drive to live. But he views it as a friendly competition of sorts. Like a married couple of lawyers, but one works for the prosecution and the other works for the defense. How many souls can you save verses how many he can take?

Jonathan will listen to every crystal fact you have, and want to know more about your witchiness. He's like a sponge. Throw information at him and he's soaking it up.

Let's gloss over the fact that he can control golden threads from his fingers. I'm sure it'll come up in #just chatting.

Jonathan is a caffeine addict, that and cigarettes are what fueled him when he first went to college. He loves drawing with you over a hot cup of coffee.

Eat what you want, Jonathan doesn't really care. He might take a bite of something every now and then, but he doesn't really need it. This makes it so he finds your scent... Intoxicating.

[blackberry-gingham]

This was kinda inspired by the previous anons request but could you write headcannons/imagines (whichever you think fits best) about being an actress and meeting their lad on the set of one of their movies/a movie

(Ok ik I have other requests waiting looong behind this one, but it's going to bug me if I don't do this first, so I'll post my next chronological request tomorrow instead of my usual every other dayish schedule! Thanks guys ❤️)

Honestly, the absolute MOOD™ of this gif has been on my mind for like all of the following imagines. Like the on periodt FLAVOR that actress is rocking, all done up and everything ?? John or [insert one of the other three] ob-sessed with you ?? Literally yes. So yeah, there's my overview lol, the rest is up to your imagination!

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy! 😌

George

You meet George on your way to grab a little refreshment before your scene in between takes

You've got a nice little flute of wine, to calm the nerves of course, when suddenly you get bumped rather harshly from behind!

Luckily your drink spilled on the floor and not your nice costume, but still, you're about to give whomever it is a piece of your mind!!

You turn on a dime and come face to face with... Oh

There, only inches away, stands the George Harrison, with a mouthful of food, a wrapped up snack for later, and eyes wide as saucers

It's a race to see who can apologise first

While you over come your shock at nearly cursing out one of the stars of the show, he hurriedly chews and swallows the last of his snack

"I'm so sor-" "-eg your pardon!"

You overlap each other with your apologies, causing a similar scenario again as you both accept the other's apology

The two of you chuckle a bit at that

At this point, George feels like he's just now getting a good look at you

He wonders if you're a recent hire, bc otherwise he certainly would've noticed the most beautiful woman in the building before now

Suddenly a touch self conscious, he wipes the crumbs from the corners of his mouth and scrambles for a way to make small talk

It's not really his forte, you see

Luckily, you come in to save him

You cock your head to look at his napkin of snacks

"What have you got there?"

"Oh these? N-nothing, just some scones or something like that"

He crosses his arms behind his back, like he's embarrassed to be caught smuggling snacks

"Oh! Have you tried the cream cheese and raspberry ones? They're to die for!"

George loosens up a bit. He wouldn't have guessed you were something of a food fan too...

He brings around his napkin of goodies and unwraps it a bit for you to see

"I have actually, would you like one?"

You thank him and take one, savouring the flavor while he pops another into his mouth as well

"See, quite good! Although, I'd dare say mine are better"

You laugh, but George simply stares

"You bake?" He says through a mouthful of scone, eyes alight

Of course you confirm that you do indeed, and your cooking is fantastic too, thank you very much!

The two of you talk about some of your favorite treats to make and from there... Well, George is pretty sure he's met his soul mate

John

Now when you meet John, I think you approach him!

He's backstage taking a smoke

You'd think he's just having a quick break to relax before filming starts, but the way he's looking around, shifting his weight, and fiddling with his outfit says it all

Classic stage fright

You remember those days, but as a seasoned, successful actress, you've learned a few tips and tricks you think might help!

For one thing, getting to know more then just your co-stars is a bit of a relief

Plus, I mean... It's John Lennon! And have I mentioned you're a bit of a fan?

So you approach, completely unfazed, and poor old Lennon does a double take

Out of gentlemanly habit, he immediately puts out his dart when he sees you coming

You come right up and introduce yourself with a "how do you do"

Now at this point, normally he'd respond with a witty but dirty pick up line, but...

He can't tell if he's just not in the mood from his nerves or what, but he just can't bring himself to do it

Or maybe... Maybe there's just something about you?

It's not every day such a fetching woman approaches him without screaming her head off and begging for an autograph in the process

Besides, there's just this air of confidence about you that puts him at ease

You make it look so effortless too!

He wishes he could be like that...

John nods respectfully with a quiet "just fine thanks"

He doesn't bother to introduce himself, he simply assumes everyone here knows who he is

You tilt your head and smile invitingly

"Are you sure? Excuse me for saying so, but you seem a bit nervous"

Well, regarding the filming coming up, he was a bit, but standing here, talking with you?

He certainly is now!

"It's fine, just thinking about my lines and such"

You can tell he's lying, but you let the matter go to switch up tactics

"Well I'm sure you'll be just fine out ther- Oh? Hold on..."

You casually saunter up to him as though you've known him for years to straighten his tie and smooth down his lapels

Despite your boldness, John puts up no resistance. In fact, he finds he rather enjoys your touch

He's so use to a more... different sort of touch when it comes to women, to the point that he's nearly forgotten just how fulfilling soft and gentle contact like this can be

Forgetting himself, John leans into your palms a bit as you finish petting them across the chest of his suit

You definitely notice, but decide to have mercy and say nothing about it

"Just remember, if you need a little stage advice out there, I'll be around"

You wink at him and walk off to your dressing room

John waits a moment until your out of sight, weighing what just happened in his mind

You know what?

He smiles to himself and jogs after you

Maybe he does want some advice...

Paul

Now Paul I think is the one guy of the four to seek you out!

You're relaxing in your dressing room adding just a few small touch ups to your lipstick and so on until you're on

When the gentle knock comes to your door, you assume it's your assistant come to fetch you

You check the time and then hurry over to answer the door

"Yes yes, I-"

Paul is standing with his hands clasped behind his back, a respectful distance from your door

When he'd heard you were the leading lady of this film, he knew he simply had to see you in person

He's a bit of a fan himself you see, and he can tell you right now, the camera doesn't do you half justice

Paul's mouth forms a little "O" as he looks you up and down so quick, it's almost subtle

Not at all impressed, you look at him expectantly, but try to hold back any attitude

"Can I help you, Mr. McCartney?"

He snaps out of his daydream and at last looks at you with the respect you deserve

"Oh, my apologies love, I just wanted to greet my co-star!"

Paul gingerly takes your hand and kisses your knuckles

Alright, maybe you're a little impressed

"I've heard so much about you, I couldn't believe it when they told me you were going to be a part of our little film"

He laughs, and then clears his throat awkwardly

"Sorry, I guess I'm just something of a fan"

You're a bit taken aback to see Paul, the ladies man himself, McCartney acting flustered, but what a compliment for one of the Beatles to be a fan of you

Needless to say, you're nice about his being awkward and hang around for a little conversation

He tells you about all the movies he's seen you in and how wonderful a job he thought you did

You're really enjoying the moment, after all, what a rare one it is! Until your assistant comes to fetch you and Paul for filming

"Oh yes, we'll be right along!"

Paul calls after your assistant and more or less shoos them away

Once you two are alone again, Paul fidgets a moment fishing around in his pockets

"Now I know you get this a lot-"

He pulls out a newspaper article and a pen, then holds them out to you

Upon closer inspection, it's the headline from when you were recognized for your first acting award

"But could I please get your autograph?"

Then he leans in and whispers, "and please don't tell the lads..."

You laugh and assure him his secret is safe as you sign your name in flowing script before handing him his prize

Paul looks like a child in a candy shop, he's so excited

You smile sweetly and begin heading towards the filming site

Before you know it Paul trots up beside you, following close

He looks from you to his newspaper clipping once and then twice before his eyes linger on you

"You know, I have a record from one of your plays back at the hotel... Could you-?"

At first you shoot him a look, but the puppy eyes he's giving you assures you he means no funny business, so you promise him ❤️

Ringo

You meet Ringo backstage in between sets, right before your scene

And when I tell you the first time Ringo sees you, he immediately knows he would die for you...

!!! RINGO. IS. STAR STRUCK !!!

You're already gorgeous as is, so when his first time seeing you is all done up with your hair, outfit, and makeup for the movie he's just BLOWN AWAY

And as he should be 💅🏻

There's still a decent bit of time before he needs to take his place or anything like that, which is good bc his brain is in a whole other dimension rn

You're absolutely magnetic and all he can think to do is approach

"Oh, hello Mr. Starr! Can I help you?"

"hi"

You blink at him for a moment, not quite sure what's happening

But when it hits you, you quickly cover your mouth with a gloved hand, trying your very best not to laugh at the poor guy

Ringo however, is completely under your spell at the moment

"I uuuuh, I'm Ringo"

His big droopy eyes are absolutely transfixed in a dreamlike haze on your beautiful face, and he offers you his hand to shake

Now you're REALLY trying not to laugh

You give his hand a shake, brushing off any awkward feelings, and introduce yourself

Ringo repeats your name aloud, looking now as though he's been transported into a dream

That's your name? He loves that name! How did you know!

After a moment of awkward silence while you let him process, he thankfully seems to return to reality

"Ahem, sorry, I didn't mean to bother you"

He looks away quickly, now starting to realize he's made himself out to be quite the fool

"Well I feel rather silly, uh"

He scratches his neck and sneaks a glance up at you

Thankfully, you're very understanding! You have a lot of fans, and his behavior isn't quite unheard of in your experience

"Oh, no no! It's no trouble at all!"

You give a genuine laugh and tell him you're always glad to meet a fan

Ringo responds with a little humor to relieve any last traces of tension or awkwardness and then laughs his deep, goofy laugh

You contemplate what a strange but wonderful sound it is

And you know? wouldn't mind sticking around to hear it again...

Besides, he's clearly already very interested in you

That, and it's nice to meet a gentle soul amongst your fan base, rather then the clamoring men and women you're used to

Ringo smiles at you with pure admiration, before picking up some easy small talk with you, just as though you're anyone else

It's at that moment you officially fall for him

[justkpopjokes]

Found You || OnlineRival!Felix

AU: online gamer friends + college + rivals to lovers

Anon: know it's a common au cliché but I've been craving some college au's of felix, maybe enemies to lovers ?? but enemies in a playful, competitive sense of course. I'll leave this vague so that you have more creative freedom, idc if you write in para. style or bullet point, I'll eat up anything you write skskj

A/N: I HAVE RETURNED!! Hope you enjoy this anon~ still can’t believe you’ve been following me since 2017 oml

If anyone else has lowkey specific requests for skz I’ll take them!! It can be any type/medium(?) of writing lol I just don’t want to write elaborate plots rn

You’ve been playing this video game recently

(I’ve been playing Valorant lol so I’m basing this off of that)

you’ve been playing solo for a bit

One afternoon, you match with a nice team that’s doing well

it’s a good game; you’re pretty evenly matched

you end up the last player standing, win a round for your team, & they applaud you for it!

But then—ohoho and then—

—you hear the deepest freakin Australian accent on voice chat

saying “ayy nice!!”

you say a polite thank you back to him

meanwhile the other people on your team are like

“holy crap bro your voice is low af!”

you get to hear this boy speak for longer lol

His username is #1Aboji or BrownieBoi915 or smth idk so you call him Brownie

and y’all get to talking lol

you send him a friend request on a whim because he seems nice

he accepts, sends you a party invite, and you play a few games together!!

Over the course of a couple months, you play together every time you’re online at the same time

(which is often bc ur timezones happen to be the same hehe)

It’s funny because although you’re friendly with each other, you’re competitive af LMAO

most of your games are spent competing for who can get more kills and who can be MVP of the team/entire match

it’s friendly competition but competition nonetheless

eventually he asks for your Tumblr/Twitter/whatever so y’all can chat a bit more :D

his @ can still be @/BrownieBoi915 lol

Brownie’s fun and you share some interests!!

your music tastes are similar too, so he sends you song recommendations, then you yell about them

You’ve been chatting a lot and reply to each others’ posts/tweets often, especially when you’re just posting about weird sh!t happening in your life

But one day… you post about something that happened at your college

something like “icb this ajlsdhf there’s this girl in one of my classes and she just sCALED THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING SO SHE WOULDN’T BE LATE TO CLASS”

less than a minute later you get a text:

“AHJKFLDSA WAIT YOUR MOST RECENT TWEET—

DO YOU MEAN VANESSA??”

and then

wAIT THAT’S BROWNIE TEXTING

HE KNOWS VANESSA?!?!?

So, naturally, you text him back

Then Brownie gets you to agree to another silly competition:

see who could identify the other first on campus!!

the 1 rule is that you have to find each other in-person

(there is a 2nd rule that you can’t ask exactly where the other person is, but that’s pretty obvious lol)

But because of the main rule, occasionally you’ll get a vague text like

Brownie: “Hey are you wearing a red flannel right now”

You: “No I’m not even outside lmao”

Brownie: “Dammit I thought I felt the vibes”

It’s a nice lil challenge because the only thing you know about Brownie is that he identifies as a guy and has an Australian accent

(but that may be unimportant depending on where you live lmao)

meanwhile the only things he knows about you are random details, your voice, and that you have a class with Vanessa lol

And it’s FUN!!

but you both start to get suuuuper competitive

mostly because of the 1 rule

there have literally been times you’ve probably found Brownie when you hear an Australian accent in the distance

however he always leaves before you can get to him, so it doESN’T COUNT GDI

Brownie tho lmao—he’s always putting on his detective hat and trying to track you down on campus

whenever he’s chilling after class he asks for where you are generally

he’ll ask you “Hey wyd”

You: “Studying”

Brownie: “In the library?”

You: “…Yes”

then he starts to narrow down where you could be based on less-specific questions

Of course, that’s not the only thing you text him about

you’ve grown pretty close to Brownie

the competition has helped with that!!

and ofc you still play that game together lol

Honestly, you really want to meet him

he’s just super charming + considerate

Also he mentioned he likes baking

you suggested “we should bake together!!”

Brownie: “Gotta find me first ;)))”

so,,, yeah you daydream about baking with Brownie

you really want to know his name

I mean, c’mon, you’ve gotten his phone number at this point, but you still can’t find him??

it’s starting to get frustrating

to the point where he can hear the frustration through your texts

HIS NAME IS FELIX!!

YOU HAVE A NAME TO WORK OFF OF NOW!!!!

That small piece of information motivates you for the rest of the week

you give Felix your name in return, but he insists that neither of you should ask around for each other

(you can’t ask your friends if they know someone named Felix

but if you hear someone say “Felix” while you’re out and about, that works)

you’re still unable to find him for some time, but knowing Felix’s name makes you feel closer to him

You can’t video call Felix but you normally call him at least once a week

after knowing him for at least half a year, you get this warm feeling in your chest every time his name pops up on the top of your phone

One of your phone calls sounds something like this:

Felix: “Hey, y/n?”

You: “Yes?”

Felix: “Do you want to go out for lunch? I mean, once we find each other.”

You: “As in a date?”

Felix: “Yeah—I mean, if that’s okay!”

You: “Yes please!! So can you find me already istg 🙄”

Felix is itching to meet you too

…so he sends you a selfie

with a filter though! that way you don’t see his entire face

you send him 1 in return (also with a filter)

Felix immediately says “aww ur cute uwu”

and your heart m e l t s

you’d think, hey maybe that’ll help me find him

SPOILERS it doesn’t really help lmao

Your close friends really want to help lmao because they’ve been hearing about this “Brownie” boy you like

however, you & Felix are adamant of winning this competition because the person who wins doesn’t need to pay for your 1st lunch date lol

It’s the last Friday afternoon before you have a week-long holiday, when you’re hanging out in front of one of your friend’s classes to pick them up

you’re standing outside the building chatting with one of your other friends when your phone starts ringing in your pocket

other friend is like “ooOOOH is it brownie boy??”

You: “Oh yeah rip he’s probably calling because I missed some of his texts, give me a moment."

You’re about to pick up when the call drops

so you’re like ?? bruh what and are about to unlock your phone to see what Felix’s texts are about

That’s when you feel a tap on your shoulder

and a low Australian voice behind you says your name

your head whips around to find this cute face with freckles and a giant smile on his face

“Felix?!?”

“Heh, I found you~”

Dude doesn’t hesitate to hug you, pick you up, then spin you around

your friend is watching with a goofy smile but he doesn’t care

after he finally puts you down, you cup his face with both your hands

“The filters always hide your freckles… they’re like stars, Lix”

instead of a lunch date, Felix takes you out for dinner :DD

even though you lost he insists on paying :’))

your friends don’t even care that you’re ditching them ajlkfdhs they literally push you away to go eat with Felix lmao

and you return home with that warm feeling in ur heart still there

needless to say, he will arrange another date so he can bring you some homemade brownies

he is the brownie boy after all!!

[tsaritsa]

check my time

firstly; ever write something and be like. oh damn. i wrote that bitch? that's me rn

secondly, this title is taken from rebecca black's friday. shenanigans were had in the royai support group discord in which we were determined to title some fics with that immortal song. come hang with us! it's pretty fun and we only occasionally have so-bad-it's-good ideas like this.

you can also read this over on ao3

--

It is perhaps, unsurprising, that Major Mustang initially believes that it was because of him that she signed up for service. His idyllicism is perhaps the most enduring trait she has to remember him by: a young man, proudly wearing his blues and speaking of the way he would coax the country in a better, grander, position than where it started. His inherent paternalism – and it is that, he wants to make the country into his image and nothing less – is inherited from her own father. He too, believed, understood, proved that he knew the way forward.

It is a bit of a joke now how personally he seems to take this new knowledge – this was not part of his plan. Perhaps he thought he would return after the war, a decorated hero with new depths to those dark eyes and sweep her off her feet like so many of her dorm sisters have been in recent years. What few letters that do make their way to the estate – and subsequently, months later to the front – are notices of marriage, and once, an invitation to attend herself. Laura had been one of the kinder girls, and a small part of Riza that’s been tucked away between the notches on her rifle would’ve liked to see her in white, watched the celebration with a distance that Laura wouldn’t have questioned or assumed was rude.

But Riza is unable to entertain such fantasies. This country would rather look the other way than acknowledge the cost of this war, the amount of people being flung into the sand just to keep the effort justifiable. There are rumours that another train line has been taken out, and necessary supplies that were already months late will now never arrive. It’s a wonder any letters managed to find their way to her at all.

Major Mustang has a peculiar habit of finding her no matter where she is in the encampment. At first, she pegs it down to coincidence, but later it becomes clearer that he is seeking her out in some fashion, even if most times he refuses to engage with her at all. Perhaps he thinks he can protect her in this way, a careful eye watching from a distance. It is laughable. The distance Riza is able to set between herself and any unwanted target easily outstrips his distance for accuracy. She can and will limit her damage. He razes through it all as if the end result is the only thing that matters. Perhaps that’s true. The reality of bending a land, a people, to your will is never as simple as her superiors make it out to be.

Part of her resents this treatment, resents the hovering that the others in her unit have picked up on. They’re snipers, after all. They’re meant to look at the wider picture, notice small, subtle shifts in the landscape. It takes them a little longer to deduce who he’s trying to shadow, but after another few days of watching him not-wander with not-purpose, her spotter nudges her, faintly tilting his head towards 11 o’clock.

“Perhaps he’s never seen a woman with short hair before. I hear he came from Central – fuckwits, the lot of them.”

Her spotter, Dylan, is a stout young man, with a face that had not lost the fat of his youth until very recently. He, like her, was pushed through quickly, at the pleading of higher-ups who were wholly unprepared for their theatres of war. The two of them are well aware of the incompetence that has resulted in their posting. This knowledge is what protects them more than the briefings they receive.

A tense smile pulls at the edges of her lips. “I have the unfortunate pleasure of being acquainted with him. I would hesitate to paint him with the same brush as the soldiers from the last tour though.”

Dylan scoffs, picking at the cervidae meat the cooks managed to scrounge up. It’s probably a sacred animal in these parts. “Does he think you don’t belong here?”

Riza hums. “I think he envisioned a different future for me. I think I’ve ruined the fantasy.”

--

The man introduced to her briefly as Maes Hughes seeks her out some weeks later. He is an interesting man. Riza thinks he is like the prisms that fracted light in her Father’s study: she spies different fragments of him, personalities and idiosyncrasies that layer over one another if you view him just so. He is canny and shrewd, and Riza is not surprised that Major Mustang has made his acquaintance. His ability to seek out power and bend it to suit his whims is perhaps the most crucial thing to understand about him. It does not necessarily matter what the substance of the power is, it only matters in how he can exploit it for his personal use.

“Hawkeye,” Maes Hughes says shortly, deliberately stepping into pace with her as she moves through the camp. She had been seeking some rest. She knows now that that will be difficult to do unless she plays his game.

“Captain Hughes,” she responds, dipping her head in acknowledgment. It is perhaps a little ruder for a greeting than other superiors would allow, but Riza surmises that Maes Hughes doesn’t care much for inane rules and pageantry out here. He is not thriving in this environment, merely surviving like her.

“This isn’t about Roy,” he begins, and Riza appreciates the bluntness. “Well, not from him. But I thought we could talk.”

Riza inclines her head to the outer encampment, the side that overlooks into the valley. It’s never as busy here, particularly in the afternoon as the sun sinks down over the mountains and the desert chill begins to set in. “What about?” She will make him work for this conversation. She is well aware of who could – would – be privy to it.

Hughes is quiet for a moment as he leans against one of the tent poles. “I confess I’m curious about the two of you. Roy is fiercely protective of you. Others are beginning to notice.”

“He’s stubborn like that.”

“Is there a reasonable explanation for his behaviour?”

Part of Riza thinks it would be rather funny to divulge her secrets again. Make his power and devastation inert by granting everyone the same ability that he wields so selfishly, covets even more so. But it’s a passing fancy, a fantasy she’ll never get to fully realise, much like the goals she imagines he had in place for her. Hughes has already played some of his cards by investigating what he’s already identified to be Mustang’s weakest link, and Riza feels it’s only fair to work within the estimation he has already formed of her. She will never let her back be used against her again. Major Mustang put paid to that lesson for her.

“His alchemy apprenticeship was a few houses down from where I lived. There weren’t many young people in the village. We were… acquaintances, I suppose,” she begins, testing the words on her tongue. Dylan hadn’t needed a story to assess Major Mustang. He didn’t need to be convinced of anything he couldn’t already surmise from looking at him.

“Perhaps he was sweet on me; I confess I never paid much attention, as my father was a sick man and required almost all of my attention. It was strange to realise that one of the soldiers I saved was someone I knew –” the parapraxis isn’t lost on her but Hughes’ face is impassive, waiting. Either he was a good listener or what he was suspicious of had not been confirmed so far. “ – Maybe it is strange for him too,” she concludes, rubbing the muscle that connects her thumb to the fleshy part of her palm.

Hughes appears to mull over her words. “He must be very sweet on you, then.” There’s a warning nestled in that sentence, an acknowledgment that he caught her use of tense just as he corrects her on which is the truth – what he knows is the truth.

Riza rolls her shoulders slowly. “I wouldn’t assume to know his feelings on the matter. He hasn’t talked to me since our last meeting. In all honesty, Captain, I don’t think there is much to talk about either. We’re just ghosts in each other’s pasts.”

“He doesn’t treat you like a ghost.”

“My spotter has come to calling him that. He always seems to lingering like some forgotten shade.”

Hughes pushes himself off the tent pole he was leaning against, shoving his hands into his pockets. Riza was right, he is a clever man – knows better than to needle someone continually for information they’re not willing to part with yet. His patience would undoubtedly be tempering some of Major Mustang’s worst impulses. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t approached her again.

“I just felt warning you would be the right thing to do,” he says. “Considering I’m now not alone in my understandings.”

Riza blinks slowly. “Thank you for the warning, Captain Hughes,” she replies. He probably thinks he’s being kind, extending a hand to the young ingénue who’s out of her depth in a horror that’s only halfway done. Maybe Major Mustang had crafted that story for Hughes as well; of his role in this story he still seems to be writing. He is the hero. They are the supporting cast as much as the sand they stand on.

I thought you’d wait for me; he had hissed over the campfire at their first meeting.

I thought you’d help people; she had taunted as the embers sunk into the ash.

[mooosicaldreamz]

We obviously need your song by song analysis of evermore please!

i got asked to do this about four times so here it is.....much anticipated. i know. please note that when i say that i hate her or despise her i don’t actually mean that. but i do

EVERMORE

OK LETS GO

WILLOW - ok, groovy first time you hear it, right? has a strong rumbly wiggle. let’s VIBE. the low of the verse, the high of the chorus…oh my goodness! what is she doing. she’s just out there! wow. “wherever you stray i follow” is a banger. “life was a willow and it bent right to your wind” with the overlay oof let’s go.!!!! a shockingly strong first entry of the record…best one since “welcome to new york” maybe!!! let’s just say it!!! for some reason “i come back stronger than a 90s trend” throws me off though…i don’t know. it’s just so moody pop, no one is doing it like her!!! i hate her

CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS - every time i listen to this song i listen to it four times. not a joke. it’s perfect. i don’t think i need to convince anyone! it’s perfect!!!!! what are you doing? taylor swift, the most dramatic bitch, has been writing dramatic bitch songs since she was fourteen and yet, somehow, she contrives to write even more dramatic things as she ages. this song is a JOKE. there are not ENOUGH songs about denying proposals! it’s just simple and sad. oh my god. it’s insane. the fact that she wrote this with her boyfriend (i have a running theory that they are married, we are going to refer to joe as her Perfect and Glorious Husband from now on) …… come on. the ENTIRE BREAKDOWN. “YOUR MIDAS TOUCH ON THE CHEVY DOOR / NOVEMBER FLUSH YOUR FLANNEL CURE / THIS DORM WAS ONCE A MADHOUSE / I MADE A JOKE WELL ITS MADE FOR ME / HOW EVERGREEN OUR GROUP OF FRIENDS / DON’T THINK WE’LL SAY THAT WORD AGAIN / AND SOON THEY’LL HAVE THE NERVE TO DECK THE HALLS THAT WE ONCE WALKED THROUGH” ……. concluding with that absolute stabby killer “what a shame she’s fucked in the head” oh my god……….. and the song resolving in a very adult “you’ll find someone else” god

GOLD RUSH - ok so like this song is like ok it’s got the same groovy high /low that’s happening on willow but it’s so different! it’s so good! the pulse of the beat propelling the whole thing through and then the falling apart “oh what must it be like to grow up that beautiful”……………..ok. the visceral image of “my eagles t-shirt hanging from the door” …………. i admire very much taylor’s oncoming gift of moving through high/low imagery…… i love her so much? it’s so HARD. “my mind turns your life into folklore” beautiful! BEAUTIFUL! also i have some belief in me that this is about karlie kloss but i shall not dive into that hole.

TIS THE DAMN SEASON - oh so i’m supposed to LIVE with this song EXISTING. WHY!!!! HOW……..oh my god………..taylor was like, yes, i’m going to write a song about a famous girl going home and banging her high school flame for a week and jack and aaron were like oh ok. “i parked my car between the methodist and the school that used to be ours.” she is such a joke. “you could call me babe for the weekend” like ok emo!! emo!!! OK. I LOVE THIS SONG

TOLERATE IT - taylor really gave us the most depressing track 5, but it’s absolutely a banger and i love her! she is just vibing! oh my god. what a specific emotion to pinpoint with this song….it’s such a gift. no one is hitting this space

NO BODY NO CRIME - this song has no business being on this record but in the BEST WAY, like how daddy lessons mysteriously appears in the middle of lemonade. oh my goodness. this is just pure country revenge song. taylor was like oh actually i haven’t forgotten my roots and i hate men more than i ever have. and she got haim to sing with her. and it’s so good. the low “i think he did it” oh my goodness. this song is a joke. how is it real? it’s just a perfect radio song. it reminds me very much of “before he cheats” but it’s a lot more sonically calm

HAPPINESS - similar to “tolerate it” and i think “champagne problems” this song is beating on an emotional bush that is really really hard to hit the head of. like, so she collabed with the national and bon iver on this record and previous obvi, and i LOVE them, but their music can often be very………impressionistic? perhaps? is how i might put it. it’s sometimes hard to get a note of specificity from it. imo. but taylor loves a fucking story bro. and she has figured out how to tell made up stories. she can’t be stopped now. like…this space of a breakup and knowing that it’s for the best and being sad in this way? name a pop star who has a song this nuanced. for real! god. i despise her. “across a great divide / there is a glorious sunrise”

DOROTHEA - the other half to the far superior TIS THE DAMN SEASON and a banger all the same. it has the bouncy joy of the most buoyant national songs. in the same vein as the also far superior BETTY, she has her sweet dumb boy slurry and less intelligent voice. i love that she paints these narrators this way, it’s just nothing she would have ever reached for ever before this period. she has a Perfect and Glorious Husband now and she has begun to understand teenage boys, FINALLY.

CONEY ISLAND - i have upon many occasions opined that i love the national VERY MUCH. i once went to a festival with my gf and her sister to see them even though i was expressly not invited and you know what despite the fact that it caused a lot of angst, i got to see the national play TERRIBLE LOVE in the middle of the night and I SCREAMED IT. so like, listen. what is matt berninger doing here, to me, specifically????????? i was somewhat hesitant about how their voices might blend, but it works astonishingly well. and i think that it’s so wonderful, i can’t. the imagery of a dreary coney island…..”sorry for not winning you an arcade ring.” as taylor always proves, the bridge is spectacular. “were you standing in the hallway / with a big cake / happy birthday”……”and when i got into the accident / the sight that flashed before me was your face / but when i walked up to the podium / i think that i forgot to say your name” sorry to yOU calvin. she had ISSUES. and now she has a Perfect and Glorious Husband. also “sorry for not making you my centerfold” ok kaylor

IVY - this song is about emily dickinson and i DARE you to tell me that i’m wrong. I DARE YOU. I DARE YOU. you’d be wrong! embarrassing for you. taylor finally writing a probably legitimate queer song and it’s about fucking emily dickinson is so on brand…..it’s dripping with poetry and groove and she’s so fucking dumb i hate her so much. her narrative of ivy and poetry and the lakes district…….ok taylor. i know. i know you watched all the dickinson things that came out and you identified with her. the gentle sway of the “oh, goddamn” and the “oh, i can’t”……i CAN’T EITHER TAYLOR !!! i CAN”T TAYLOR!!!! “oh goddamn / my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand / taking mine but it’s been promised to another / oh i can’t / stop you putting roots in my dreamland” TAYLOR. and then she says, “oh you didn’t realize this wasn’t gay?” “i want to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed” like @ emily yourself taylor “he wants what’s only yours”……TAYLOR. give me the entire catalogue of emily dickinson songs!!!!! i can’t do this. “springs breaks loose / but so does fear” “i’d live and die for moments that we stole / on begged and borrowed time / so tell me to run / or dare to sit and watch what we’ll become / and drink my husband’s wine.” taylor if you see this post, a, i love you, b, i need you to tell me about ivy, and c, PLEASE can i have tickets to your next tour in the year 2025 or whenever because my gf never buys me any to your shows……….i love this song if it isn’t clear. i think i’d love it if it wasn’t gay

COWBOY LIKE ME - ok this will sound weird and if you’ve read this far i’m going to assume that you don’t care about me being weird…but this song reminds me of the fanfiction STAY THE NIGHT by lynnearlington (maybe u’ve heard of it). please reply if you think about this and feel the same. “never wanted love / just a fancy car” “you had some tricks up your sleeve / takes one to know one / you’re a cowboy like me” the opening line re: the tent-like thing reminds me very strongly of the fourth of july at our family’s country club and they set up a tent over the parking lot and this song just makes me think of that vibe????? i don’t know. i have vibes. i love this song a lot, which is impressive because it follows after the gay euphoria of IVY. perhaps this is because it gives me its own gay euphoria. “now you hang from my lips like the garden babylon” ???? is one of the most gay, seductive, brutal lyrics i have ever heard. she wrote that down and was like, oh yeah, vibez, hundo p. she did that to me

LONG STORY SHORT - this song is an honorary sequel to I FORGOT THAT YOU EXISTED from the lover era (honestly i’m still in the lover era). but i actually think this song is better! so we are taking that. “actually i’ve always thought that i looked better from the rearview” ok taylor let’s access that feeling! “no more keeping score / i just keep you warm” is like, stupidly sweet.  rip to calvin but now taylor has a Perfect and Glorious Husband.

MARJORIE - made me cry, simple and beautiful. one of the more personal songs on the tracklist! and something that i had never considered that she would write about, but i think the quarantine period has allowed a lot of us to dig into our feelings, so….vibez. we’re vibing!

CLOSURE - this song’s production sounds a lot like bon iver’s recent productions, very tech-y and repetitive and spare. rip to karlie kloss but taylor has a Perfect and Glorious Husband and karlie’s legal last name is kushner so who really won? hmm? i love “i’m fine with my spite / and my tears / and my beers / and my candles” the inclusion of candles is just. vibez. there are four candles lit rn in our apartment!

EVERMORE - i think this song is very intriguing and i’m still puzzling with it! the simplicity of her depressive gray November phase and then the very ebullient and bold bon iver interlude……..really has a manic/depressive, sad/angry vibe???? it feels so on brand for this pandemic quarantine…..and it works shockingly well, except for that i’d rather listen to the bon iver part for 10 minutes more. “all my waves are being tossed / is there a line that i can just go cross” and then taylor’s sort of call and response with his interlude……should just be the whole song.  but it’s still good. that’s how annoying she is

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Death Note

I’m watching this show specifically because of that text post that said, “Watch how quickly this one guy decides to be the worst person ever” and he has killed two people in the first ten minutes

Though 2 be fair he’s killing people to save people so it’s a trolley problem kind of thing for now

“In fact I’ve been waiting for you... Ryuk” ok weird flex Light but u do u

“You’re the first one to use to this extent in five days” WAIT DID HE MURDER ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN FIVE DAYS I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST LOOKING AT A LIST OH MY GOD??

“So there isn’t a price to using Death Note?” said Light, as if killing people is just a normal thing that we all do

Fhkjfhfkjb Ryuk really went ‘u used the book so we’re friends now’ 

I was wondering why the book was in English, and I guess that makes sense British and American imperialism really Did That

“I can write down the names of criminals, and slowly reduce the number of evil people” uhhhh doesn’t u being a Book Murderer also make you a criminal Light

“Human lives shouldn’t be taken so lightly” bah dum tss

Also I guess that revelation lasted about thirty seconds for you huh

Update from 15 seconds later: Even less than that

“I would create a world of earnest, kind humans” really because I don’t think places that allow the death penalty are generally nicer societies 

It’s interesting that they use English in the classes and the notebook but the conversation at Interpol takes place in Japanese (despite the implied internationality and Ryuk’s aforementioned claim about English being most common) 

Huh I won’t lie I do think it’s confusing that the main characters are L and Light, which also starts with L

“I am justice” I mean if anything this show just proves that no one should be allowed to use the death penalty on apprehended suspects in criminal justice cases ever 

OH SHIT PLOT TWIST HIS DAD’S A COP (IT WAS IN THE TEXT POST I THINK BUT I FORGOT)

Wow this show is full of mind games already I guess I can see why like, crime show fans would dig it

“But I’m going to say this as your roommate” OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES KJHRGKJHKJHG

Interesting that someone is following Light specifically already

I mean not to poke too many holes in your plan Light but wouldn’t it clash with your plan to become God if you die at like 35 or smth 

“You’re already much more of a shinigami than they are” Ryuk said my friends are BORING I want to hang out with this MURDER TEEN

“I may not look it, but I’m pretty popular” Light is exactly the kind of guy who ends up in a true crime special where a bunch of people say he seemed like a nice, charismatic young man

Man this poor girl that Light brought on this date is going to be straight traumatized after this

I mean isn’t it MORE suspicious if someone dies around someone with direct ties to the police even if it’s not a heart attack

“You were indeed a brilliant FBI agent once, but now you’re my fiancée” kjhfkjhg WHAT FBI AGENTS CAN’T BE MARRIED 

“Once we have a family, you’ll be so busy that you’ll forget that you were an agent” I’m not a fan of Raye Penber 

What’s the point in killing Raye at all???? He told you he was part of a special investigation so clearly he’s not that suspicious of you

Light sure is bold to announce his Killing People Experiments in the middle of a busy sidewalk 

Incredible that consistently no one notices Light’s increasingly threatening declarations????

Fjkfkfhk these five cops finding out their Hail Mary is this strange little goblin man,,,, wow

This woman has really pushed Light to the brink just by giving a fake name, I admire her tenacity

Cops wearing fake IDs really did not age well oh boy

SERIOUSLY HOW DOES NO ONE EVER HEAR LIGHT SAYING SUSPICIOUS THINGS IN PUBLIC THOROUGHFARES HE LITERALLY JUST SAID “I AM KIRA” AS A DETECTIVE WALKED BY, WHILE HE WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE HE KILLED IMMEDIATELY AFTER

Wow it really took only eight episodes for L to track Light as close as one of two families

“You have a wife and daughter, right?” “I know!” I mean..... not 2 be that guy but... cops

 “To me, apples are like... Well, like cigarettes and liquor to humans” Vcvhcjhj every once in a while Ryuk says something that really tickles me

I know the word sociopath is kind of outdated but man does Light have actual interests outside of school or does he just do stuff to fill the void of his lack of interests (outside of murder)

JKHGKJHGKJHKJHG I cannot believe that this has turned into a fake classmate situation first of all 1) are you going to become friends and 2) How old are you Ryuzaki/L?

“Where is that rich kid from? And he’s even at the top of his class? What a jerk” honestly a mood

I DESPERATELY want Light’s mother or sister to overhear his evil cackling will someone finally eavesdrop on this god complex

“If I sit normally, my reasoning skills drop by 40%” weird flex but same 

Sidenote: I can’t believe how many episodes of this show I already have watched

Ngl I was VERY shook that Mr. Yagami had a heart attack. Also does Light care if his family lives or dies or is he kind of neutral on the subject? 

“If Kira is an ordinary person who gained this power, then he is a very unlucky person” Dad and L said ‘if u ARE Kira could you please stop murdering thank you <3′ 

Light really underestimated how much cops hate anyone who has killed a cop oops

OH SO IT’S NOT LIGHT I WAS WONDERING WHY HE HAD NOT MADE AN APPEARANCE THIS WHOLE EPISODE U MEAN THERE ARE TWO GUYS WITH THIS EXACT SAME IDEOLOGY AND PLAN? INCREDIBLE

Update from ten seconds later: Two people, I guess

Well this explains the girl in the short dress which serves as the Netflix thumbnail of this show I was wondering when she would show up 

Also she sounds like she’s very young? Clearly Shinigami don’t have a minimum age of informed consent when it comes to their Murder Eyes Contract 

Hahah I bet Light didn’t imagine that his petty and fucked up apple joke would bite him so quickly in the ass

Dhkjdhdkjhd Misa is so bold dropping her Death God deets in a video for anyone to see 

“The way to kill a Shinigami, is to make them fall in love with a human” does this mean that Ryuk is going to fall in love with Light or Misa? Both would make me uncomfortable

Oh wild guess Misa became a Death Note Wielder through the Power of Unreciprocated Voyeuristic Love

“Yeah, I have a girlfriend now,” said Light, after a girl contacted him through a series of anonymous video tapes implicitly vowing to be his disciple 

“No one could tell who he’s attached to if I’m with this many people” [20 seconds pass] “Found him!” HAHAHA the funniest part of this show is consistently watch Light going “got ‘em” before it immediately is revealed that he doesn’t got ‘em 

Why is Light so incredibly searchable??? I think the only way people people could find my height online is if I happened to answer it for one of those Facebook note memes in 2007 lmaoooo

“There are many places that will go and sell your personal records” ah, data breaches; a problem that has not gotten any better in the last 15 years since this anime came out

HKJHFHKJFHF Light immediately jumping into fake-dating his weird disciple in front of his mom... what is this show

“Please make me your girlfriend” OH MY GOOOOOD

This is one of the weirdest romantic dynamics I’ve seen in recent memory but you know what? Whatever, at least it’s not Anxiety and Murder

“Does that mean I’ll have to deal with her until she dies?” Light is truly exuding some Ladybird Book of Dating Energy rn: 

The fact that to kill L all Light had to do was get an obsessive girlfriend... astounding

Beautiful that it took Misa less than a week of knowing Light to ruin his whole 15 episode game plan and also life

“I think I may be Kira” Well this show keeps taking one escalation after another this is exhausting why can’t Light just be a normal person who found it, tried it out of interest in the occult, discovered he’d committed a horrible atrocity and then went to therapy for the rest of his life only to confess to Magical Murder on his deathbed while his family goes, ‘Wow, Grandpa’s crazy’

Does L not think that keeping three different people imprisoned for days on end will lead to some psychological repercussions for him

FOR WEEKS ON END????? OH MY GOD???? The fuck L, I know two of these people are murderers but there are some minimum conditions of correctional facilities and this seems a little Stanford PE

THE DRAMA OF THIS EPISODE I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE A BLANK BUT HOW FUCKED UP TO PUT EVERYONE THROUGH THIS L I THINK YOU NEED THERAPY!!!!!!! I MEAN LIGHT AND MISA ARE MURDERERS BUT FORCING A MAN TO HOLD HIS SON AT GUNPOINT AFTER IMPRISONING THEM FOR OVER A MONTH IS REALLY A REFLECTION OF A COMPLETE LACK OF EMPATHY (especially when you think that this version of Misa and Light don’t know anything!!! Oh my god!! The fuck)

“I will make arrangements so you and I are together 24 hours a day” call me crazy but I would not want to spend 24/7 with the man who imprisoned me for over a month while playing cruel psychological games all the while

“I’m one of those people who’ll accept Kira, I’d think of ways I could help him” Misa said Bimbo Rights

“I could never toy with a woman’s emotions like that” Light’s dating life and personality has gotten a LOT funnier since he forgot he was a murderer I kind of wish THIS could be the whole show 

Also: Nice to know Light USED to have standards of how to treat women

Honestly fair play to both L and Light they both deserved to be punched and it’s funny to see eighteen episodes of mind games culminate in punching and kicking each other in the face

“Matsuda’s being an idiot again” “Well, Matsuda is a natural at that” wghkjhgkj what has Matsuda done to any of you

"He’s punishing criminals as a front, and killing people for the benefit of this company” is Light unknowingly going to solve the murder chain he himself started... inspiring

“I was testing you” this is why Light is your only friend, L, Aizawa has kids and it’s a dick move to ask him to put his convictions before them

Poor Matsuda realizing he’s got the least to offer to their team... me in high school science labs 

I understand Aizawa’s moral crisis but why do NONE of these cops care about their wives or daughters they’re just kind of like, ‘I will provide for you but I have no interest in or fulfillment from being part of your life’ (ACAB)

Matsuda is truly about to die for being dumb and eager to help 😔 Rest in Pieces

“We must not allow Yotsuba to figure out that we are investigating them,” said L, just after it cut from Matsuda being obvious about investigating them. Oh Matsuda 😔 you’re so bad at your job 😔

MATSUDAAAAAAAA oh thank goodness; Bimbo Rights save the day

“I can’t go along with your idea, it’s wrong!” said Light, despite the fact it took him 15 seconds to get over murder the first couple of times he did it 

Staaaaaaaaay Good Light, I don’t want ur Deathnotesona I want this young man with moral convictions!!

The level of hubris it takes to answer a phone call during your secret Murder Meeting while people continue to talk about their Murder Plans is just out of this world

“If I die, you could probably become the successor to the ‘L‘ name,” said L, to the person he has been trying to catch for twenty episodes 

“I won’t say anything under any kind of torture” “Yes that’s true” Which he knows because he tortured her for six weeks!! You see that that’s fucked up, L, right? RIGHT??? RIIIIIIIIGHT? (LIIIIIIIGHT???)

Seriously not to beat a dead Shinigami but Light is so much better like this. He doesn’t want to throw people’s lives away for the investigation! He wants to protect Misa! He thinks Kira is wrong! Why does he have to be a murderer!!! Why can’t this show be about a nice young man!!!!

“Hey Ryuzaki, that’s messed up!” THANK YOU LIGHT AGAIN I KNOW YOU BOTH HAVE KILLED PEOPLE BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW SO FOR ALL MISA KNOWS HE’S JUST A GUY WHO TORTURES HER AND TELLS HER CRUSH WILL DIE IF SHE DOESN’T HELP

Wow Rem is so ride or die for Misa protecting Misa from creepy Higuchi, giving her info and telling her to trust Light, that’s love bitch

Props to Misa for getting a confession out of Higuchi after one (1) car ride 

Why do I feel like L is going to be responsible for reawakening Bad Light is it because he psychologically tortured him for six weeks? Had his dad hold him at gunpoint? Forced Misa to investigate on his behalf? Constantly and unerringly presses him on what Kira would be thinking as he’s handcuffed to him 24 hours a day? Maybe!! This is like Build-a-Bear but he’s customizing his Teen Murder Friend 

“Only Mr. Matsuda can do [the mission to lure out Higuchi!Kira]” Death Note really said the Himbos, Herbos and Thembos shall inherit the Earth 

They keep saying they don’t know how he kills but it seems pretty obvious that he writes down their names to kill, they literally saw him do it

I really don’t want any of the investigation team to die but things are not looking hot :(

“Ryuzaki, I never knew you could fly a helicopter” “It’s just intuition” what does that MEAN

“Those aren’t allowed in Japan,” said Light, about a gun, as if he had not killed probably thousands of people without one 

In spite of this fact I really do want Good Light to stay 😔 Why! Can’t! This! Show! Be! About! A! Nice! Young! Man!

Also they really are playing into this father-and-son duo I will be very sad when the dad inevitably dies as I’m sure he will 

Family side note: I’ve been wondering this since the prison ep but where do Light’s mom and sister think he IS now that he’s dropped out of first year uni to be a teen criminal investigator handcuffed to a maladjusted homebody private eye

AIZAWAAA and also the other two guys I guess there was a plot relevant reason for him to rejoin the police huh

Well what a clean ending to this Kira arc. No one died and the killer was caught! Yikes that the next ep is called ‘Revival’ tho 😔 Rest in pieces Good Light

Also a new and very threatening intro???? What happened to the Twilight Apple Hands 

BOOOO I knew Light would get his memory back but I was hoping it would at least fuck him up for a while he sorted out his two personas but I guess all roads eventually lead to Bad Light 

Full disclosure I stopped watching for a few days just after Light got his memory back and let me tell u coming back later hasn’t made it any more tolerable I am truly not built for this EUGH

“Do you really want to halve your life a second time” “Well, that can’t be helped” REALLY???? CAN’T IT BE HELPED MISA??? WHY ARE YOU AND LIGHT SO CRAZY

Oh I guess we’re back to Light saying incredibly suspicious things right near the investigators lmao what if those cameras secretly had audio or you know, L simply knew how to read lips 

“Misa, let’s make a new world together” Remember a bunch of episodes ago when Good Light was all ‘I could never toy with a woman’s emotions’?? What was the reason!!!

“Have you ever told the truth at any point in your entire life” L cutting straight to the core lmao (also the answer is obviously ‘no’)

This show has taken a jarring tonal shift why are they having a post-rain-confrontation massage and towelling each other off this is a level of intimacy I was not prepared for I NEED PEOPLE TOOK LOOK AT THIS:

OKAY OKAY OKAY I KNOW THAT IT WAS PROBABLY NOT THEIR INTENTION BUT THE ONLY WAY I CAN READ THIS SCENE IS AS “Don’t kill me Light~ 🥰 I’ll fuck you~ 🥰” 

I guess L knew he was forcing Rem’s hand to kill him if he disproved the rules written in the book?? But to what end omg how does this help anyone 

“In April 2012, Light Yagami, age 23, joins the National Police Agency” should’ve known we’d land here eventually (ACAB)

Ah, I see another person who doesn’t know how to sit, clearly they will inherit the L title next lmao

Update from the first few mins of the next ep: “Near should succeed L” told you

“There’s no way I’m letting Sayu marry a detective” ahjfkhkjf he’s a little old for her I think but it wouldn’t be the worst thing this show has done romantically lmao; maybe Sayu would get to investigate her brother

“I might’ve considered going out with you, if you were a little younger” HA GOOD FOR HER

“[...] the Japanese police are unreliable. In order to solve this case, we want you to hand over the notebook to our country.” Of all the Japanese-speaking Americans in this show, this is the most accurate jkhfkhf the US government really is Like That 

Ah, so that’s where Mello’s gone, oh how the turn tables 

Also way to sell your subordinates out immediately, NPA Director, will you give them the Kira task force’s home addresses too

The real question is if Light actually cares about his sister enough to prioritize her over the notebook

“Call me... N” Oh my good L... M(ello)... N(ear)... Oooooooooooooooo

It’s my saving grace that I only need to get through 9 more eps but as always I must wonder where this is going will Light just die and end up in Shinigami purgatory while the people who knew him after the fact go, ‘hey, that guy was fucked up’

“If things get bad, I’ll have to kill Sayu” well I guess that answers that question, my expectations of Light are so low and yet he continues to find new ways to be awful

Good for Mr. Yagami and Sayu for getting out of that alive I guess but hoo boy I think this is going to have some psychological repercussions for both of them 

Uh oh this episode is called ‘Father’ I’ve been dreading this one bc I think that means Mr. Yagami is about to die 😭😭😭

“It was an institution for brilliant children, to raise them to become L‘s successor” okay calm down Professor Xatari that’s not what children are for lmao 

Well I guess it’s a lot easier to track down info about these two guys than it was to figure out L lmao

HAHAHA Sidoh haunting Ryuk to ask for his stuff is a fun addition to this madness  

“He’s scary for a human” jkhhfjh how unhinged does Mello have to be to threaten a literal Shinigami 

I truly don’t understand the logistics of how they revealed Ryuk to the police force isn’t the second Kira notebook supposed to belong to Actual Kira, in the police force’s eyes????? I do not understand how Light can just turn up with another notebook and everyone’s like ‘sure cool’ did I miss something 

Mr. Yagami killed for being unable to take human life ugh this is the worst 

“You’re not Kira. I’m really glad.” WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO SAD MR. YAGAMI NOOOOOOOOOO THAT’S WHY HE RENOUNCED OWNERSHIP OF THE NOTEBOOK 

Neither Mello nor Near seem overly concerned with the lives of people around them does being a Super Genius Investigator also mean you have to be a dick (is this Benadryl Coddleswab Sherlock syndrome)

Lmaooo genuinely love how it’s constantly apparent that Light is the least smart of all of the smart people Light spent five years working on his reputation and it took Near one (1) phone call to destroy it 

Ghjkhgkhgkgjh Light outsmarted by Near yet again never think people will prioritize principles over money

Lol yeah Aizawa needn’t have given a name after he said the “Deputy Director Yagami would kill Kira and then himself” thing, you don’t do that just for anyone who was he fooling 

How does Light keep track of all the renunciations and notebooks bc I certainly can’t 

Ffhkfjhfj Mikami truly looks like the son of L and Light it’s like Light missed him and was like, “Miss u boo :( (even tho I kinda killed u) I’ll adopt An Evil 27-year-old in ur honour :)”

Is Mikami’s story really, ‘I got bullied in high school and have mommy issues so now I think people I don’t like should die’ ok Shonen Snape 

“I just want you to meet with me and hear me out” Light really proving to Aizawa that he can lie AND manipulate people’s feelings 

“The truth is, she’s not smart enough to be my partner” first of all Light I think this show has proven you’re not that smart, and Misa’s Herbo Energy is effervescent and will outlast you, and third of all go to jail

“He’ll look suspicious if he doesn’t say something soon” “Ide, have you ever been in love” Matsuda continues to be the only good part of this show

“You’re the only man I’ve ever respected and admired in my life” GET SOME THERAPY KIYOMI

“You’re going to be the goddess of the new world” so it’s not enough for Light to be a murderer he must also be a cheater

Lmao Near’s powers of perception do seem a little B/BC S/herlock because L tried for literally months to work out the possibilities and Near is just like ‘I KNOW IT NOW’

“The only thing I can deduce from this is that Light Yagami is popular with the ladies” HEAVEN KNOWS WHY (PUN NOT INTENDED)

Every moment Aizawa gets closer to proving Light is Kira is another step closer to death 😔

“This is definitely Mikami’s handwriting” Not to be a know-it-all, Near, but handwriting analysis has been proven faulty many times in multiple courts of law

This truly is a game of Cat and Cat. All these hidden plans give me a headache fkjhkfjh call me Misa-Misa and spin me sideways I don’t have the braincells to spare

Well this is definitely some kind of s*xual assault absolutely fucking hate it wow this show truly just drains the life out of you 

“Matt, I never thought you would be killed” why wouldn’t you think that at this point anyone who comes close to this investigation eventually dies (also wjkhkjhgk why is Matt special didn’t you kill all those thugs you had before -- Mello said ‘the lives of my allies are only important if they are drawn in handsome protag style’) 

As of yet I haven’t really talked about Near’s wild toymaking but hoo boy is that L finger puppet something to observe

“Everyone who knows about the existence of the notebook will die” I’m still pulling for their survival, particularly Matsuda (himbo rights!!!)

Imagine if they just shot Light Yagami on sight how ironic would that conclusion to all these mind games be 

“I’m waiting, for the one who will solve everything, to arrive” Lmao if it turns out L is alive I’ll pee laughing this show is so fucking stupid 

Take a shot every time there is a Humpty-Dumpty-in-Puss-in-Boots style explanation about how everything actually happened

“I’ve won, Near” I bet/hope what gets Light caught is his inability to hold in his hubris for one (1) minute

Although the last episode is called New World, in which case maybe he wins in a very weird ending to a very weird show

Sjkfhkjhfkhfkjhf well I guess what gets Light caught is that the person he invited to be his murderous disciple keeps calling him God

“A second ago, you said ‘I win.’ That’s as good a confession as any” HA hubris strikes again also bold of Aizawa to clap Light on the shoulder knowing he is a mass murderer

Ohhh Matsuda he’s so nice and believed the best of Light :((((((((((((

Watching Light become increasingly desperate and crazed is very uncomfortable give it up dude u’ve been beat (though I suppose there is time for everyone here to be murdered still lmao)

LMAO LIGHT SAID “IF YOU CAN’T BEAT ‘EM, CONVERT ‘EM”

Yeah I figured if one of them was gonna shoot it would be Matsuda :( :( Good for him for not killing Light tho!!

Huh I guess that’s the end of the show I thought Light would die but I did think we’d at least get to see him in Shinigami Purgatory or smth... what a wild ride. This certainly was a show.

[dracosaurusrex]

cute asks!!;))

angel, awe, baby, blossom (all 3), buttercup, calm, candlelight (or just the last dream you remember), charming, cozy (both), cuddly, daisies, dear, dobby, dovey, euphoric, forever, garden, heart, honey, hugsy, jiggly, kissed, prince, princess, prinky, shine, smitten, sparkle, starlight, soft, squeezed, thimble, velvet, whiskers, wobbly

LOL YOU AND THESE ASKS HAHA I LOVE IT ❤❤❤😂😂😂

angel; do you have a nickname?

Ina on tumblr, but people I know personally call me Sab or Sabby

awe; how old are you?

2ne1

baby; favorite color?

I like darker colors, but recently I’ve been into emerald

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

My fave book rn is the Housekeeper and the Professor by Yoko Ogawa.

Fave movie Howl’s Moving Castle!

Fave song as of now is Lighthouse Keeper by Sam Smith

buttercup; showers or baths?

Showers :D

calm; favorite scent?

My mum’s perfume :) Oh and KBBQ, pasta, and chocolate

candlelight; what did you dream about last night? (or the last dream I remember)

Hmm...Draco kissed me LOL and it felt real. Like yknow how you dream in third person? I didn’t that one time (it was 1st pov), and it really seemed like he was there aha. His forehead was all up in my face and errythang LOL

charming; have you ever been in love?

Yes yes haha. Although, I had a false sense of what love was back then

cozy; eye/hair color?

Both brown!

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

The Renaissance! Mainly for the artistry and craftsmanship that arose during that era.

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

When I started indulging in things that I enjoyed for myself. No care given to how people would respond to me, just living for myself and myself only.

dear; zodiac sign?

I’m a cap!

dobby; dream job?

I’d like to be a cancer researcher with a focus on the tumor microenvironment :)

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

Not really paranormal, but there was one time I read too many creepy pastas at once, and I couldn’t sleep because my senses were just 💥💥💥

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

He has the looks, but I think his mind is much more beautiful. I don’t know how long it’ll last, but I’m certain I can learn a thing or two from him, and that’s why I’m grateful to know him in this stage of my life.

forever; where do you feel time stop?

When I play organnnn or when I’m drawing

garden; how many languages do you know?

2: english and love language LOL JK. Um I can’t speak Tagalog, but if someone were to talk to me I’ll be receptive and respond in English. I think others call that receptive bilingualism?

heart; silk or lace?

Silk all the way, but I do fancy an elaborate lace from time to time

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

I like both, but I personally like tea more only because I can drink so much of it without getting a freaking headache.

I like my coffee black most of the time, and I take my tea the same way (just plain). Although, if I’m sick I’d include honey because I find it soothing haha.

Jasmine, black, and oolong are 💥💥💥 btw

Also, if my lovely Brit friends can tell me how they prep their tea that’d be lovely, coz Lord knows I can’t put cream without the drink tasting funky afterwards oml

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

I like people watching more. This is not to hype myself up or anything, but as an artist I like taking reference from features I observe IRL, and people have so many physical differences that I tend to fixate on that immediately regardless of where I am or who I’m with.

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

I like running, drawing, writing, but almost always there’s something else that I have to do aha

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

A bookstore kind of love where the bad boy falls for the intelligent girl and they trade books with their thoughts annotated on the pages

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

Imma just include a pic coz I honestly don’t know. Pardon my notes LOL

I guess kinda whispy? Slanted? e l o n g a t e d? 

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

I play the organ and the ukulele aha. You’d think I’d know piano coz of organ, but I honestly don’t (technique-wise) lol. It’s definitely something I want to learn tho.

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

I like to meditate. If I can’t do that, then I’ll go for a walk to think about how I can combat whatever is stressing me. If that doesn’t help, I take a nap to rest my mind.

shine; art or music?

alkfj;asdlkfjasd BOTH. Well, if you interpret music as an art, then art all the way.

smitten; do you collect anything?

yes, trash. LOL Okay forreal tho, I’ve never thought about it til now but I tend to collect a lot of art supplies and stationary. I’m a simp for those things.

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

Yes, rings and earrings mostly.

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

I was a weeb child and Cardcaptor Sakura was my ultimate fave, no cap.

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.

When i wake up early and the sun is still on the east side, it casts a pleasant light in my dining room. It helps me concentrate on my work a lot. 

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

My best friend who currently has a bf. I don’t tell her that tho LOL. Every time we hang, it’s like nothing has changed so it’s honestly chill even if we don’t talk for ages.

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

All writers, artists, creators here and everywhere. Honestly, shout out to y’all because I seriously build off from the energy that they give through their work. Like, woah you produced something from your mind, your heart? That’s so cool. I feel like I find more pieces of myself because of you.

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

I am a night owl. But times are changing, and that 7am orgo chem class won’t be waiting for me so I’m working on it LOL

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

Not usually, tbh.

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

I tend to look up at the stars more than I do wish on them hehe. The sky is so pretty.

[megatraven]

you know i had do it ya... all of them. all of the watercolors

DSFRGTREDFR i appreciate u so much....... (wont re-answer th ones ive already answered tho)

cadmium yellow; when you think of the word “happy” what’s the first thing that comes to mind?

alex. is anyone surprised? probably not. alex is the biggest source of happiness for me at the moment bc i love them so much and think of them so often vuv

hansa yellow; what’s your guilty pleasure song?

god is a woman by arianna grande!!!!! love it

yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of!

i hope it counts if it’s a fictional band bc Julie and the Phantoms own my ears rn

naples yellow; where do you feel most at home?

in my little apartment, in my bed with bunches of blankets and stuffed animals and snacks vuv

raw sienna; with whom do you feel most at home?

i don’t know! i’ve never really thought about it, and thinking about it now, i can’t pick out just one person. any of my friends, i guess!

golden ochre; describe the relationship you have with your closest friend.

i don’t have just one closest friend, i have a few. but my relationship with them is nice, we’ve made good strides to setting healthy boundaries, i think, and we can talk to each other about anything! :D

cadmium orange; what do you like to do on your days off?

rest and relax, watch a show or maybe just turn on some music while I play lovestruck or lovelink, play some pokemon, and either write or draw! i also really like to nap, especially since i often wake up early on my days off, and most of my friends aren’t online yet. helps me skip to when they Are online

orange lake; do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad?

oh, i have many people who would be very supportive, i know. it’s not a matter of having someone for me, though. i just don’t know how to bring it up to them, so i usually just keep quiet about it whenever i am :’)

titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings?

relaxing evenings, i think. slow mornings tend to frustrate me a little, but relaxing evenings are perfect

shakhnazaryan red; are you currently binge-watching anything?

julie! and! the! phantoms!!!!! i mean i already bingewatched it but i keep rewatching it like all at once, that counts right???

red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)?

right-brained B)

burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it?

there are many, but i can’t think of any names or artist right now :^)

english red; what animal do you relate to most?

tiger tiger tiger tiger t-

vermilion; what’s your favorite accent?

right now? greek!

cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other?

not really! just. girl or nb, i guess lol

scarlet; describe your current crush/es.

i guess i’m still nursing a crush from a couple years ago, though it’s much smaller now since we don’t talk as much but ummm she’s really sweet and funny, and endlessly kind it feels like. she’s so creative and smart and i love how passionate she gets <3 she’s a really good friend, too, and i really appreciate having her in my life in any amount :D

ruby; what does your ideal first date look like?

some cute little cafe-type place, MAYBE with some light hand holding, as we talk about whatever comes to mind, be it fandoms, our lives, etc.

carmine; what does your ideal second date look like?

just hanging out in the living room or bedroom, really. i don’t care much for going out, but if we went out anywhere at all, it would be lovely to walk down the street after a nice autumn rain vwv

madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date?

no, and i don’t think i will ever really want to kiss anyone, thinking of being kissed kind of squicks me out. unless it’s a kiss on the cheek or hand or something, then that would be okay :)

rose; what’s something really positive going on in your life right now?

oh hm..... well, at work, my coworker has been really nice about letting me play christmas music on the radio all day :) it drives him nuts, but he keeps turning it on for me because he knows i like it a lot. it’s really sweet. it’s not a huge gesture, but it means a lot to me!

quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to?

the day that i finally adopt a cat! i’ve been sitting on it since around april but i just keep waiting. the day i do it, though..... i can’t wait!

violet rose; what does your dream house look like?

small house near the base of a mountain. neighbors not too far away, but not too close. i have a big yard, and a great view of the mountains i nthe area, and lots of trees. inside and nice and homey, soft yellows with accents of white paint the walls inside and out, and it’s filled to the brim with little knickknacks and things i’ve collected over the years

violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down?

right now my heart is set on colorado because the mountains there were gorgeous.... i’d settle for anywhere close to some mountains though

blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down?

i’d like to travel a little, visit some of the friends i’ve made, really do something good for the world before i settle

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to?

the rocky mountains!

ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it?

i’m in a good mood right now! just getting to talk to my friends while i eat dinner and enjoy the things i love is a pretty good recipe for a good mood!

blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember?

i.... hmm. im having a hard time remembering any recent dreams. i had to go look into one of my chats for the last time i mentioned one- i had a dream where i was talking and became friends with Mr Fruit, a youtuber i’ve gotten really into watching recently :)

bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each?

honestly just me, a spouse, maybe a kid that we adopted (Maybe!!!!), and a LOT of pets. cats and dogs, at least one snake, some rats........

blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could?

i’m okay with my name, though i think i’m starting to really prefer meg over megan. if i could give myself a different name w no judgement on what it would be, i think i definitely would tho

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent?

vanilla cupcake candles <3

azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any?

i don’t have a favorite!

turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant?

tiger lilies <3

cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog?

ABSOLUTELY

glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives.

cute. soft. mine.

yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario?

i hear the sound of birds and crickets, and a babbling brook off in the distance. i see flowers that don’t typically grow together doing so for me, shifting lightly in the wind. a few critters bounce over the flowers from time to time- fox kits, rabbits. everything’s at peace.

green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better?

hmm. yes and no? i think a lot of things for me would improve if i could just work up the courage to come out irl. even if i didn’t get the responses i would want.

green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them?

france, cyprus, japan. i think the one i would like to visit most is cyprus :) i don’t have plans for the other two, just dreams vwv

emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn?

not yet! but i’d love to learn french and greek and tagalog!

oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book?

where the red fern grows

olive green; are you currently reading anything? how do you like it so far?

not any books, but i’ve been meaning to start reading cinder!

mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh?

ratatouille vuv

burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself?

eat dinner and drink water :) (im doing both rn)

umber; have you drank enough water today?

i think i’ve drank 2 bottles. not as much as normal, but i plan to drink more!

voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent?

my scro friends :) (thats th name of our gc lol) there’s three other people in there and that’s typically where i go to vent if i have to. them, or my MLF friends. both groups always have my back and i adore them 

sepia; name five things that always make you happy.

alex, food, blankets, talking to friends, buying stuffed animals

indigo; what’s the best/sweetest compliment you have ever received?

one of my coworkers once told me that he can see the passion that i have for art, and i don’t think anyone has ever told me that they can see it before. it meant a lot and i hold it close to my heart now :)

payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic?

this is too hard my aesthetic is too broad ;( here’s my aesthetic tag tho

black; post a selfie because you are so beautiful!

im eating fried chicken rn so i will not take a new pic. instead, have this older selfie from 4 months ago!

[caztiel]

All the botanical asks you haven’t got yet

lia that’s so many 😳 

lavender; soundcloud or vinyls?

soundcloud, i don’t have the money for vinyls, but if i had the money for them then vinyls 

primrose; what book does everyone right now need to read?

i can’t think of any lol 

lunar mist; do you like wearing other people’s shirts/jackets?

yeah

bird of paradise; what was the best thing that happened to you this month?

i hung out with my friends yesterday! also November 5th was incredibly funny

gardenia; what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself? 

i promised to be nicer to myself, and to exercise every day, and to get a job, and to write more

whirling butterflies; would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

have not kissed 

marmalade skies; do you plan your outfits? 

sort of? 

apricot drift; how do you feel right now? 

a bit tired! also a bit annoyed at the universe because I keep dropping and breaking things lmao (I dropped a glass lid everywhere and then kept stepping on glass as I was cleaning it, and then spilled water everywhere) 

everlasting daisy; what’s the last dream you remember having?

recurring apocalypse dream, I don’t remember the specifics 

queen’s cup; what are you craving right now?

chocolate 

lavender dream; turn ons/offs?

uhhhh i don’t like most perfume smells, or specific sudden loud noises

water lily; when was the last time you cried? why?

i cried a little bit yesterday when I was watching bly manor, but it wasn’t a full on cry

lily of the valley; did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize?

no, but I don’t expect one, i’ve moved on 

winterberry; do you bite or lick your ice cream?

both 

desert rose; do you like yourself?

a little bit more every day. two steps forward one step back 

snapdragon; have you ever met or seen in person a celebrity?

nope 

night owl; how many countries have you visited?

5, i think? excluding one flight layover  

heliotrope; have you ever been in a castle? 

yes! in Germany 

creams and sky; what’s the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done?

idk if i’ve done anything really 

lantana; what’s on your mind right now?

the mini nanowrimo i thought I would start, that I haven’t written anything for (10k words in two weeks) 

pumpkin patch; what’s your zodiac sign?

aquarius sun, sagittarius rising, scorpio moon

tulip; name 5 facts about yourself.

1. i love rollercoasters, 2. i love love, 3. i cut my hair the other day, 4. i overheat easily, 5. i am a bad actor 

daphne; do you believe in karma?

yep! even if not in a spiritual sense, I think that being kind can bring kindness back to you, and being cruel can bring cruelty back to you 

queen of the meadow; ever been in love? 

perhaps, but I might be wrong 

wisteria; whom do you admire and why?

someone I once knew, they are good at making boundaries 

angel’s face; what was your favorite bedtime story as a child?

i don’t remember 

remember me; did you make someone laugh today? 

hannibal played by mass mikkelsen 

lilac; if you could go back in time which time period would you visit?

hmmmm 1920s? 1980s? 

caramel kisses; would you want to live forever? why/why not? 

i would want to be immortal until I want to die. there’s so many things that I want to experience! but I don’t want to live FOREVER, that’s too long 

primula; what makes you sad?

a lot of things. there’s a lot to be sad about, especially this year

rain lily; was today typical? why/why not? 

it’s typical of the holidays, i’ve spent the morning watching netflix

queen anne’s lace; who do you trust the most?

damn idk that’s a loaded question. next 

forget me not; do you have any regrets looking back in your life?

yes lol many 

lunaria; what’s your favorite fictional universe? 

honestly? rise of the guardians 

violet; favorite tv show? 

doctor who is my favourite comfort show, but i have a lot of shows that i love like dghda and bly manor 

snowdrop; what does your ideal day look like?

visiting a theme park with someone i love, and then we have a picnic, maybe on the beach. it’s sunny and there’s a nice breeze. then we go for a drive along the coast and listen to music together. we get home and it starts storming so we hang out together and watch movies 

tiger lily; do you have any hobbies? 

knitting! i started a blanket in the Irish moss stitch :) i like writing too. i also like baking and cooking, and i sometimes pick up guitar and ukulele and duolingo. um also games. 

peony; share a small random book passage that means something to you. 

there’s a bit in the book thief by markus zusak where Death describes the colours of the sky 

tea rose; what’s something you always wanted to do but were too scared? 

can’t think of anything rn 

honeysuckle; do you usually date people your age or older/younger? 

i’ve only “dated” one person and they were my age. i’m not really into dating people older or younger 

love in the mist; best books you’ve ever read? 

i literally cannot remember and I'm too lazy to try and remember 

foxglove; who is your favorite cartoon character?

dr doofenshmirtz 

magnolia; coffee or tea?

both! i love coffee!! i also love tea!! i’m a multifaceted person 

crown imperial; would you rather be extremely rich or extremely loved?

extremely loved. but if i had a lot of money i could help a lot of people 

snowflake; are you a dog or a cat person? 

both! 

bell flower; what is your biggest addiction? 

don’t judge me lmao i am addicted to asmr, it makes my brain go brrrr

cosmos; do you ever think about the galaxy? 

all the time

moonflower; what’s your favorite color?

yellow, but also pink, and blue, and so many others 

freesia; do you have a good relationship with your parents and siblings? why/why not? 

yes, they always try to be good people. also i just generally get along with them 

poppy; have you ever dealt with a mental illness?

perhaps. i think so yeah. self diagnosed. i’ve gotten pretty good at dealing with it over the years 

clover; how would your friends describe you?

uhhhhhh idk quirky? 🤪 i don’t know. 

dandelion; do you consider yourself an extrovert or an introvert?

introvert, i’m good at spending a lot of time alone, and that’s how i recharge. but i still enjoy people’s presence. i think the words extrovert and introvert are uhhh misnomers? it’s like asking if you prefer the darkness or the brightness. there’s different shades of light on a spectrum 

lilly; what’s something you love watching/reading but you are too embarrassed to admit you do?

asmr but i’m only tentatively embarrassed 

anemone; describe yourself in 3 words.

weird, eclectic, trying 

lotus; best memory as a child?

can’t remember much, but i can remember that time i went on the green lantern rollercoaster at movie world like 4 times 

angelonia; what is your eye and hair color?

brown, dark brown/black 

dahlia; do you like crystals?

yeah, not really in jewellery (it tends to look a little tacky (not always!)) but i like crystals :) 

buttercup; if you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

stop overall suffering. it’s not one thing, it’s a series of things: war, poverty, food deserts, etc. um if i had to choose one i’d make it so that there’s a reliable source of water available to everyone 

baby’s breath; what’s your hogwarts house?

hufflepuff 

calendula; biggest pet peeve? 

people who have a very different sense of personal space to me and don’t respect mine 

blanker flower; would you rather go to a cocktail party with your best friends or stay home and read a book/watch a movie with your pet?

hm stay home? but also i want to hang out with my friends. i haven’t been to a cocktail party before with friends 

blazing star; share a secret.

scroll through my old blog, i’ve blurted a lot of secrets on there 

carnation; would you rather live longer or happier?

happier 

bluebell; do you wear glasses? 

nope

orchid; do you like exercise?

depends on your definition of “like”. I like the benefits, the after effects. if i’m walking, i like the time alone, and the time out in nature and on the street 

pansy; do you like poetry?

yes duh i’m a poet 

morning glory; any special talent that you have? 

adapting

botanical asks

[carbootsoul]

i was tagged by @katarahairloopies!!! thank u :mwah:

name: leo! @/zeitgeistofnow on ao3, @lazypigeon & @timetohope on here, altho i’m considering uh switching back to not having an art blog :/ i have to think abt it.

fandom(s): ace attorney is my main one rn bc i’m replaying the games with a friend of mine and it’s reminding me how invested i am in the characters!! a lot of my recent fic is atla stuff, altho i’ve been distancing myself from the fandom bc i’ve kinda exhausted my interest in it. finally i’ve been reading a lot of mp100 fic but i don’t think i’ll ever write for it. i just love how dumb all the characters r (with the dubious exception of ritsu)

where you post: ao3!! tbh i always get suprised when people say they write/read fic on any other platform like i haven’t messed around w wattpad or ff.net since middle school... catch up........

most popular oneshot: going just by “one chapter” as the definition of a oneshot, the firestarters, bc it’s fluffy and modern au :) i wouldn’t necessarily call it a oneshot tho bc to me a oneshot shows like, one scene? so like by my definition and your sweet sweet sun makes me crazy (i wanna lay you down and see how you amaze me is my most popular!! (also @ kit u thought UR fic titles were unnecessarily long??? i’ve hit the ao3 LIMIT for characters in titles. it’s about the aesthetic

most popular multichapter fic: sdkjflakjlkj it’s two crowned kings; and one that stood alone, which is a w359 fic i wrote back in late 2017. it’s literally the last fic i haven’t orphaned from when i actually wrote podcast fic (i have 4 other podcast fics but they were all borne out of nostalgia and written after i stopped participating in the fandom). i rewrote all but the last chapter? the last two? about a year ago and i fucked up halfway through so like chapter 6 and 7 are repeated and there’s something missing but i’m too lazy to fix it. no one’s going to read it now anyway :) it WAS the top minlace fic for a little while tho which i take great pride in.

favorite story you’ve written so far: oh that’s a hard question akfsldkfj i honestly like most of them!! and i write a LOT so there’s a lot to choose from. tonight, we are young is def one of my favorites- it was fun to write and i got to explore the ways zuko and yue r similar, which i LOVE to do outside of a zukka/yukka view. you can lean on my arm as you break my heart  is one that i’m really proud of? the whole “cooking as an expression of bato’s love” is definitely some of my favorites. a lot of my ace attorney fics would be categoried as my favorites if i hadn’t improved, too, if that makes sense. like they’re no long my favorites because i can see where my writing is shitty and it bothers me, but if i had written them a month ago they’d be my favorite.

fic you were nervous to post: figures 1-5: killing gods def!! it’s a lot more purple-prose-y than most of my fics and it was also written before i’d kinda like emersed myself in the atla fandom so i didn’t have as good a grasp on the general understanding of zuko’s character as i do now. tbh it’s one i’m rly happy w tho!! i have a few people leave really nice comments on it and rereading them makes me really happy. also it was the start of me hating the position of fire lord and being at least passively anti-it in my fics.

how you choose your titles: they’re almost all song lyrics!! only 14 of my 50 words AREN’T song lyrics and about half of those are from before i started writing ace attorney fic lol. sometimes i go into a fic with a song in mind for the vibes and then i usually go with lyrics from that (like in ‘cuz we’re the greatest /they’ll hang us in the louvre), but otherwise i usually pick an artist i’ve been listening to and go through their songs until i find a lyric that fits. sometimes the lyric doesn’t even really fit the fic and i just chose it at random or because i searching up the word “fly” in my spotify library or whatever. honestly i like coming up with titles? i know a lot of fic writers hate it but being able to just use song lyrics is v soothing for me and while i know that most people won’t search out a song just bc it’s a fic title like.. seeing that the title of a fic is a hozier lyric does affect how i read it and i kinda like that.

do you outline? i outline my long form/multichaptered fics with varying strictness. usually anything over ~8k will have some kind of outline. sometimes i go into it with every single scene planned out, sometimes it’s just notes on the side of the google doc that say “it's about MORE family. about how it's not betraying your existing family to find more” and “scenes i want to include: [...]” and “vampires... ngl kinda hot.” i’m trying to outline super strictly less bc i’ve found it’s less fun? but i do try to keep a plot arc in mind. since most of my fics are more character-driven than plot-driven, that usually just means keeping track of what character development i want to happen or what is motiviating the characters. 

complete: um everything posted on ao3 i guess. also the MULTITUDE of orphaned fics out there asksfjldkj i always click ‘leave my pseud on’ so if u look up my username you see all of my fics and then a. lot of other ones.

in progress: - a fic titled ‘dad phoenix’ that is actually just a no DL-6 au with defense attorney miles edgeworth and single dad bartender phoenix where neither of them want to date for A While but phoenix gets wrapped up in one of miles’s cases. it’s about family. it’s about writing teenagers. it’s about the background franmaya which is ALWAYS what i’m here for in wrightworth fics - a franmaya werewolf/vampire au because i’m ~gay~ and love rivals to lovers and also franziska and maya both being angry their older brothers r dating each other. - my secret santa fic!! which i can’t talk about much but it does feature toph and zuko and also piandao and jeong jeong???? idk where they came from but they are Part Of The Fic Now also i forgot iroh existed for half the fic and wrote piandao as zuko’s father figure and now i’m in too deep. - a 5+1 bakoda fic (maybe a bato/hakoda/kay fic??? i need to decide. that’s part of why this fic is still incomplete bc i can’t decide which relationship dynamic i prefer) that’s 5 times bato said he loves hakoda and one time hakoda said it back. possibly i have already written him saying i love u back and i need to change the title a little. - retail au klapollo where klavier works at an overpriced boutique and apollo comes in to buy earrings for nahyuta’s birthday. klavier gives him a punch card (one that the store doesn’t actually offer anymore as a bid to get apollo to come back) and all of apollo’s family come in to use the punch card and also give klavier variations on the shovel talk/find out if he’s actually into apollo. - a LOT of atla fics that i don’t think i’ll ever finish :(

coming soon/not yet started:  - i want to write some blackmadhi bc they’re.. cute..... and it’s a good excuse to also write athena and i love her - my stuff for yueki week!!! i have NOT prepped enough but hopefully i’ll remember in time! i wrote the prompts in a way that kinda set up stuff i’ve already wanted to write (don’t look at me lol) so hopefully i’ll get at least two or three fics finished in time. - i want to rewrite the wrightworth fic i have about them not getting married bc it was interesting and i like what i wrote about but i think i could have written it better and made it more interesting. rewriting fics is hard tho bc i’m never sure if it makes sense to just edit in the new work or to repost it? and then if u repost it do u delete the old one? conflicting so i might just not

do you accept prompts? totally!!! a disclaimer tho i’m not super into writing atla stuff anymore (most of the atla stuff i’m still writing is  something i made a commitment to finish) so if your prompt is an atla one i probably won’t do it :/ basically anything else is fair game tho!! podcasts/aa/sa/uh i don’t remember anything else but like if you search a fandom on my blog and come up with more than two posts about it chances r i’d be happy to write fic for it!

upcoming work that you’re most excited about: oh huh i mean probably the no dl-6 au!!! it’s the longest ace attorney fic i’ve written already and since it’s wrightworth it’ll get more attention than any franmaya fic i write. my standards r so high now tho after getting to much feedback from atla fans... love u all... obviously i have no choice but to pressure my atla mutuals into playing ace attorney. pls ask abt it bc i WIll Give You A Sales Pitch about why you’d like it in relation to atla

tagging: i’m not rly tagging anyone!!! @deadflora if you still consider urself a fic writer also consider urself tagged! also any of my other mutuals who write fic i just can’t think of anyone rn

[excorcismic]

here i am . once more . telling myself three is plenty but justifying a fourth with ‘in my defense , i’ve been thinking about him for a while!’ so HOPEFULLY this goes well . A N Y W A Y . what’s up fam it’s hylia and we are back with one of my . . . my favorite video game characters of all time ; i love fire emblem so much & i’m so excited i’m finally getting a chance to write claude again !! keep in mind , i’ll try not to go too much into spoiler territory ( & it probably won’t be that hard in the sense , well , i won’t be going in depth about routes as of right now ) , but his general backstory does include a trigger for racism so please be advise while reading . other than that , enjoy the ride , and here we GOOOO !

IN A CANON NUTSHELL ( FE3H backstory spoilers ! ) : so when you meet claude in the story , he is one of the three house leaders of the officers academy in garreg Mach monastery - as the grandson of duke sovereign riegan of the leicester lliance , he is the leader of the golden deer house . byleth , the newest teacher , can choose to teach either the golden deer , black eagles , and blue lions - to which , if you choose the golden deer , you will be locked into the verdant wind path for the rest of the story . of course , that’s not all ; to the rest of garreg mach , claude is actually a mystery and a subject of huge suspicion given he’s known to be quite sly & a master but SCHEMEY tactician , even going as far as to consider dirty trickys & methods to win battles ( such as planning to get the opposing classes sick so they can’t participate , for one . ) and it’s also mentioned claude’s appearance before the events of the game . . . is very recent , like he just popped out of nowhere and suddenly the alliance was to be handed over to him . this is because claude is not actually from fodlan - claude’s not even his real name ! ( his real name is khalid ; it’s never stated in-game but an official source confirmed so in a gaming magazine ! ) it IS true he is of the riegan bloodline & the duke sovereign’s grandson ; however , his father is the king of almyra , a neighborhing country to fodlan who . . . REALLY does not like them . because that’s where his mother came from , ever since he was a child claude was subject to awful treatment from everyone in almyra - harassment , physical attacks , and even attempts on his life simply for the fact he was mixed of almyran and fodlan blood . he was given and protected from nothing by his parents ; which , that leads to his reasoning to come to fodlan - to learn an entirely different atmosphere and start his plans to create a new world in fodlan & almyra , free of evil prejudices & where people are kind to one another and don’t pay attention to anything such as skin color , background , etc . claude wants to free the world of prejudices and racism and harmful borders that allow these prejudices to fester - and if you pick his route in fire emblem : three houses , you can help him accomplish his wish .

IN AN ALUCARD NUTSHELL : like in-game , claude is not from here ; he’s the son of a wealthy technology ceo overseas , his mother born in alucard . he’s the heir to said business , but because he’s always been mistreated by other officials as the heir and his position is always getting contested , at seventeen he decided to move to alucard to try and figure out how he can use a new atmosphere to improve it from the outside . he’s been here five years now ; taking care of his ailing grandfather , he’s taken over his position at the local library and plays the role of observant onlooker . he knows key facts about anyone who enters its door , and the kicker ?? nobody knows anything about him . ah , the life .

BUT OHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU WANNA PLOT WITH CLAUDE SO BAD OHHHHHHH

okay so for starters - frequent library people who claude talks to a lot , people he definitely probably knows some stuff about . a lot of times he also ?? reads on the job himself so he probably blends in with the crowd . probably has been called a sexy librarian multiple times bc i mean look at him and he’s got kind of a tendency to playfully flirt around . but the main focus of claude talking to everyone is , of course , to find out information and that’s probably why this is like , the central hub connection . claude is immensely smart and always planning shit and once you step into the library , he has his EYE on you .

also goes to bars & stuff frequently for similar reasons so he absolutely could know your muse from there or something !! he never actually drinks much himself - he goes to said places for the social aspect . 

people who knew claude for . . . the year he went to high school in alucard like it’s no secret that like . nobody knows where the hell claude came from before he moved to alucard with his grandfather at seventeen and he only completed his senior year here . so maybe people who always wanted to know more than what they’d learned after he just arrived ??

again , claude is extremely smart - so maybe people in high school he tutored or even people in college that he currently tutors , even though he isn’t enrolled in any classes . he always reads about shit and studies random things in his spare time ; very self-taught which helps him teach other people ! 

i want . . . kind of like a makeshift golden deer gang that hangs out of the library . people around claude’s age who come around the library frequently and they all just kind of vibe in one of the sections all the time and then they go somewhere else to hang . i love the idea of found friend groups and stuff which is kind of like how the deer house is . 

people who knew his grandfather from the library and they just kinda look at claude like “???” bc he . . . only popped up five years ago n still . seems kinda sus .

people who are just sus of claude in general for whatever reason and try to heavily look into who he is and stuff .

enemies for whatever reasons , people that claude’s just gotten under the skin of and it’s to the point where he’s onto it so he kinda. combats it with his own comeback . give me mutual bantery enemies pls

intellectual rivals bc i love it when the smart people go at war for each other

people who try and push claude to do more than just library stuff like encourage him to go to school or something but he has. his own plans. that he won’t share. so.

exes probably bc of how . . . unwilling to share information claude is . also hook-ups and stuff ; an eventual ship would be nice bt as always it’d need some development bc of how complicated claude is . he’s never been one to like . open up that much bc of his own reasons . flirtationships on the other hand i feel are frequent bc claude likes to flirt for fun but like . actual shit he can’t open up to rn and he’ll make that clear if he feels like he’s leading someone on . he’s not a fuckboy .

ANYWAY I’LL ADD MORE AS I THINK OF THEM BT HERE’S CLAUDE AHHH

[thegracelessfaceless]

Rival matchup time:

"So, I’m Elsie, she/her/hers, and bi (but I lean heavily towards men rn). I’m a Virgo sun, Scorpio rising and Aquarius moon. I’m also an introvert, but I love being around other people! I just get,,,,, tired easily.

I’m East Asian + Southeast Asian (Chinese and Vietnamese). I’m barely 5’0 tall! Long, black hair that reached my upper thighs and dark brown eyes that you can’t even see the pupil lmfao. I always have painted nails, usually red. I’m pretty athletic and I also like to think I have nice thighs—most of my workouts include building up my legs lol. I wear big gold hoop earrings. I also wear round Harry Potter glasses. My body isn’t very curvy, in fact I’m pretty flat but I am COVERED in stretch marks. I also have acne flare ups from time to time but it’s usually nothing noticeable anymore.

I’d like to think I’m a pretty chill person, likes to go with the flow and stuff like that. My friends say I’m often their therapist or their mom, which is kinda funny because that’s what I’m in uni for, to be a therapist. I’m a pretty determined and motivated person? I like to push myself pretty hard ngl but I also like to just hang out and take it slow. I also like to do stupid things like exploring abandoned buildings at 2am. I’m also big into intersectional feminism. I’ve also been told I’m really approachable and friendly, but bro I am so shy and quiet in public unless I get to know you.

I can get pretty stubborn tbh, it depends once again on what the topic is but once I’ve set my mind to it, that’s how it’s going to be. I also have low self esteem and my depression sometimes makes it hard for me to even get out of bed at times. I usually don’t know when to stop giving myself to other people, which means I get pretty exhausted and fast. I’m also prone to overthinking which stresses me out. And when I’m stressed, I can honestly get a little bitey.

I apologize to inanimate objects if I’ve bumped into them, and I also have a tendency to talk to myself? I also am a witch! I’m currently elbows deep in some deity work and ngl my energy is all over the place. I also have a weird habit of waving to security cameras I see in public because I like to think the people watching those cameras get a kick out of it lol.

I really like coffee, tea, singing with my ukulele, playing piano, drawing and art in general. I haven’t been able to draw as much as I’d like recently but I do have some animatics in my head. I also really like Victoria’s Secret perfumes, specifically strawberry pound cake—it’s what I always smell like lol. Crystals are super fun imo. I live next to a huge lake and it’s honestly one of my favorite places to be. Ocean animals are my favorite! I also really like car rides with like, one other person and just exploring the world and talking. The music I listen to is a lot of classic rap, lofi-hip hop, modern rap, some pop artists and Ella Fitzgerald, Gloria Gaynor, HaroinFather, KYLE, and ofc Hollywood Undead.

I cannot stand centipedes those things horrify me. I also don’t like rude people, bigots, people who purposely start drama or hypocrites. People who put other people down aren’t cool either. I don’t really like parties or being around lots of people, they make me anxious and kinda suffocated. People who try to force me to do stuff aren’t cool in my books either. I also think red meat is kinda gross, but that’s just because it makes me exhausted."

Your rival is:

ŇƗŇΔ ŦĦ€ ҜƗŁŁ€Ř

So I've done a ton of reflecting and have finally arrived at this rivalry.

I feel like you would end up defending yourself after Nina attacks you while you're trying to talk some sense into her about her obsession with Jeff.

I mean, really. This girl carved herself up to look more like him.

She even uses a version of his catchphrase, ffs!

While its fun to write about, Nina's level of obsession with Jeff is pretty harmful to not only others, but herself.

So you try to do what you would do with any rational adult. You take her out to lunch and try to talk with her about it.

You take her to a local pizza buffet and the two of you talk over every kind of pizza toy could imagine.

It was all great... Right up until it wasn't anymore.

You'd overlooked a major flaw in your master plan. You treated Nina like a normal, rational, adult. Nina was none of the above.

Sure, she may be an adult physically.

But it's like her obsession had stunted her emotional growth.

So, naturally, Nina thinks you're trying to talk her into forgetting about Jeff so you could have him all to yourself 🙄

She grabs you by the back of the shirt and pulls you through the restaurant and out into the parking lot.

"Nina, are we really doing this?" you ask her. She sneers at you and lets go of your shirt with a shove.

"You thought I was that dumb, didn't you?" Nina began slowly pacing back and forth, within the confines of the lines of the parking space.

You'd seen a panther at the zoo pace like that at the front of his habitat. He walked back and forth in front of his home, but his eyes, fierce and cunning, stayed on the people gathered to look at him. He didn't look at them as if they were a threat. He looked at them like prospective meals. Dinner. Midnight snack. Breakfast. Supper. Dinner again. Nina looked at you like that now.

"You thought you could just take me out, tell me I'm crazy and obsessed with the love of my life, and what? That I'd just back off? Say, 'You're right, Elsie, what was I thinking?!' and we'd laugh and go to your house and watch chick flicks and laugh into the wee hours of the morning?"

Nina huffed and rolled her eyes, "Spare me, bitch." Nina started closing in, flicking her knife open. It had little charms hanging from it like a heart, a grumpy storm cloud, an excited yam, and a beaming milkshake cup. They were the cutest, most impractical thing you'd ever seen.

You weren't surprised when Nina rushed you and you stepped to the side at the last moment, catching the wrist of her knife hand in your hand and shoving the heel of you hand into the back of her hand painfully, forcing her to drop the knife.

It fell to the pavement with a clatter and you used your foot to kick it away from the two of you.

Nina looks shocked and sad as she watches it spin away from her, and then it disappeared under a parked car.

Enraged by the loss of her knife, Nina rushed you again and screams in your face.

She grabbed your arm tightly and watched as you looked at your arm where her hand gripped. Something about your expression made her let go. But...

"I won't let you have him" she snarled and she lunged again, this time knocking you off your feet. Nina rode your body to the ground, sitting on your chest and upper stomach to pin you.

"I don't want him, Nina" you spat at her, the first stirrings of anger coiling up inside of you, "What will make you see?"

"Leave us alone" she said and as she reached down and fisted a handful of your hair and used it to knock your head into the ground a couple of times, "Leave us alone so I can show my sweet prince how happy we could be."

"What do you mean 'we'?" you ask Nina, "the only reason Jeff knows you exist is because everyone started warning him about this crazy fan girl. If we're truthful, he's stated that you kind of scare him."

"You expect me to believe that he's afraid? Afraid of anything? Especially afraid of a girl much smaller than him who would give him anything he asked for. Anything.'

She punctuated that last word with another attempt to thump your skull into the ground, but you tightened your muscles and wouldn't allow the movement.

Nina let go to slap you and you threw your body upwards, throwing Nina off of you, and you sat up and crawled over to pin Nina down.

"Just give up," you hiss at her, "I don't want him, I swear it. But don't lie to yourself anymore. Jeff will never love you, not the way you want him to. He may fear you, Nina, but he'll never love you."

You watched as a myriad of emotions cross over her face. Rage. Uncertainty. Denial. Stubbornness. Pleading. Her face collapsed into despair, which slowly faded to reluctant acceptance.

You move back slightly to let Nina up, rubbing the back of your head where it was starting to ache. When she doesn't make any aggressive movements, you let her up completely, offering her a hand to help her to her feet.

"So... You're gonna be alright?"

Nina shrugged slightly, looking drained and disenchanted, her arms crossing under her breasts to hold her.

"I'm sorry it had to be like this, Nina.."

"Go."

"I understand you probably hate me right now. You're hurt, but maybe in time we could make a friends-"

"Get out of my sight. Now" Nina growled, "I'll hurt you the next time I see you. Now go."

You turn away from Nina and start walking away. You get at least 500 feet away from her and stop, looking at her over your shoulder.

She looked so small, now, uncertain, folded in on herself as she hugged herself tightly, staring at nothing in particular in the middle distance between us.

"Nina" you call, "It's fine to hate me right now. But when you're not so raw about it, maybe we could hang out. Watch chick flicks, do each others nails and eat ice cream?"

The corner of Nina's mouth pulled up in a wry smile, "I'll think about it when I don't want to kill you."

You smile, "It's a start. Take care of yourself, Nina.

Ahh I hope you like it! I really tried to branch out from typical answers, too. I like to think that a rivalry with you wouldn't be like a lasting thing. You'd just do what you could to a) get them to listen, and b) keep yourself as safe as possible, and set them straight with no hard feelings afterwards.

[semi-anonyme]

November 3, 2020

12:05pm

I woke up at 7:00am today and I knew a few things: 1.) I would buy a Vitamix and begin to make smoothies every day 2.) I would stop holding onto the past 3.) It would be my last entry on this tumblr

Today, it is Election Day. I am very much hoping Joe Biden will win, not just for my sanity but for everyone’s sanity, for a little hope in humanity’s fight against the allure of anti-intellectualism, scapegoating, its growing tolerance of hate.

I remember the last election day, or rather, the evening. We all thought Hillary would win uneventfully. I remember my colleague dipping out of work early to go to the Javits Center to celebrate her victory. I remember watching in disbelief from my basement computer, walking upstairs with my eyes wide and jaw dropped. “Are you watching the news right now Mike?” “Yeah, Trump is in the lead. It looks like he’s about to win Pennsylvania (or was it Michigan? Or Wisconsin?)” I walked to bed in disgust, woke up in disgust, confirmed my disgust.

There was not one conversation I heard on the train or in the street that day that didn’t involve Trump. That night, I drank alone at Three Diamond Door. I still remember the buff black dude sitting in the corner downing Bell’s Two Hearted IPAs.

Anyway, election day 2020. I’m going out to vote in about 2 hours. I got today off. Thanks, progressive companies.

I’ve had a lot of internal discussions with myself on here, published them as blog posts. I have timestamps to remember them by, I’m glad. In the past ~8 months since the pandemic began, I’ve gone back to a lot of my entries -- oh, this is what it was like in the beginning in March. Oh yes, May, I was indeed watching a lot of K-Dramas, it was getting hotter. Ahhh yes, I did learn a lot about not having the city as my crutch.

Just in general, on this blog, on the countless loose leaf papers in my journal, I’ve had these battles about meaning. This blog pre-dates seeing Jody my therapist, who I’ve been seeing faithfully for over 1.5 years now.

I could go on. The point I’m making rn in this last entry is this -- all that stuff is in the past, it was important, I internalized it. Now it’s time to move on. I’m glad this exists, these 450 entries exist, they exist with a purpose. But now? I know who I am, what I want to be.

I have no dilemma of engineering vs artistry. Now that I’ve been away from loud bars, I have no FOMO about the nightlife. It’s kinda just time to start from scratch, this knowledge.

I just created a new tumblr, domo-knows. I’ll likely have a companion YouTube channel in the future. Anyway, a few and somewhat ambiguous bullets for myself since, you know, this blog was always just for me.

ON THINGS I’M LEAVING BEHIND ACTIONS 1. Random drinking. Today, I’m going to buy an Other Half Finback IPAs, pop them open around 8pm and start watching election results. I’ve gone into detail before about drinking, but just to sum it up, drinking alcohol is the one thing I can say captures how complex and funny it is being a human -- how we use it socially, justify it, cling onto it, how it becomes tangled up in our highest achievements and our most shameful insecurities. I’ve consumed alcohol for these various reasons in my life:

a.) I was avoiding doing something difficult b.) I didn’t want to be alone in my room, and preferred the loud chatter of conversations and music at a cramped bar c.) I did not trust my social abilities sober, so I drank alcohol because I’ve never known anyone who has not liked me when I’ve had a couple (when I’m shit-faced, another story) d.) To hook up with a girl e.) I was bored f.) I was about to do something boring and wanted to make it more exciting g.) Because it was a beautiful sunny day, perfect for a beer on a patio h.) Because it was a cold and dreary day, perfect to brood over a Manhattan i.) I was lonely j.) My life was going too well, I wasn’t used to that, and I needed something to question k.) My life was going poorly, and I needed something to cheer me up for the evening l.) I needed to make a decision, so I drank alcohol and wrote in my journal and came to a good decision that I stuck with m.) I needed to make a decision, so I drank alcohol until I no longer cared, and the decision was punted off until the next day n.) I I needed to make a decision, I thought a drink or two would jigger my thought process, but I ended up getting distracted by something my drunk self was interested in, and the decision was punted off until the next day I’d come up with more but they’re all just variations of that and who wants to read more of that? 2. Eating sugary sweets, justifying it by saying I have “an addiction” I actually never cared for sweets until high school. Most birthday cake I had was gross, my parents bought Chips Ahoy or Oreos which tbh aren’t all that great, and I was never exposed to really good pastries until I was in college. In high school, I dropped a buncha weight entirely too quickly and I ended up with a fats and sweets “addiction” that I’ve “had ever since”. This is a common thing.

I’ve held it close to me mentally -- my “sweets addiction”. I didn’t question it, it was something I just had, something to hang onto for the rest of my life because I fucked up when I was younger.

But as I’ve gotten older, I understand that these things -- addictions -- serve purposes. They keep us comfortable in what we deem to be true of ourselves. They (poorly) provide temporary breaks from incessant mental gymnastics/fatigue. Anyway, blah blah, big sweeping declarations, blah blah, I’ve done that all before. But when I woke up today, I knew I would get a Vitamix like I’ve been talking about for years, and I made a decision to stop holding onto this. I always eat 2 meals a day with a wild west assortment of things in between, cake and cookies and granola bars and Halloween candy. Now, 2 meals and a protein smoothie/juice.

Let them muscles grow bb. Feel good about my body, treat it like the fucking temple it is.

3. Dicking around on the internet I enjoy reddit. I enjoy wikipedia. I also end up on these sites when I’m avoiding other major responsibilities and uncomfortable feelings. I know what I want: it involves a lot of deep practice. I could read about programming all day and I’d be fascinated -- you know, the history of Silicon Valley, Introduction to the Rust Programming language, new JavaScript frameworks, discussions on HackerNews about The Best Way to Build Something. But nothing beats getting your hands dirty. Nothing beats poring over source code, running into strange errors, resolving them, moving on, over and over ad nauseam until lo-and-behold, you are an expert.

I can read about music, listen to raps over and over, but nothing beats analyzing a verse over and over and actually hearing the syllables landing on, falling behind the beat.

I’m here to structure my day. I know what I want. Expertise, pride, and know-how. A differentiated skillset so I can collaborate with other differentiated skillsets. Good taste, a feeling of belonging. All that shit, all I ever wanted but didn’t know until recently. THOUGHT PATTERNS 1. FOMO What is it with being a human -- a Man, especially (sorry is that sexist, but also, not sorry) -- that makes us believe that everyone has everything we have and more? That we are the base model without power windows, and everyone else is an upgrade? I love going on walks in New York City. I love riding the trains in New York City. But while some of this love is healthy spectatorship, much of what I’ve engaged in is unhealthy envy.

I’m done with that though. I know what I like. And I know I have a dope life. And I know that I’m a good person to know, that people may have different qualities than me but I also have different qualities from them. I’m cool with my small close-knit friends. 2. INDECISION I kinda expanded on this above. I know what I want, and all questioning I’ve done (especially recently) has been my effort to save myself from doing the work, save myself from having to declare what I am. 3. ENGAGING IN FEELINGS OF BEING LATE I am 31 years old. This is something I know to be true: there is a 13-year old who can program circles around me. There is a kid who can play a rendition of Misty on piano so soulful that it’ll bring a tear to my eye. There is nothing, technically (as in, technical expertise), that I can do that can’t be done by anyone else. But I do believe in my taste and I do believe in my life experiences. And I do believe that whatever I create can only be mine, have my signature, and I think that whatever I create in this world that I’m proud of is going to be good. That’s a fact, and I’m going into the future with that as a fact.

Farewell, semi-anonyme Anyway, I was going to write more but I wanna get going, more to do. I’ve got some work to do, some voting to do, some writing to do, some planning to do.

I love you all. See you on the other side.

[purplesurveys]

1068

What internet browser do you use?  Chrome. It’s what I’m used to, but I also think it looks the cleanest among the other available browsers.

What brand water do you drink? (Smart Water, Dasani, etc) I never reach for imported water brands like Evian because what is the point?? The local bottled water brands we have like Summit and Absolute work fine and already do a great job of quenching my thirst.

Do you have a job? Yes and I go back tomorrow and I’m cringing thinking about it. I love my job, but I wish it wasn’t so mercilessly hectic for 9 straight hours, 5 days a week. I like to think that I was hired right at the start of all the simultaneous Christmas campaigns of our clients which is why everything seemed busy; so I’m hoping the workload will start to die down a little bit now that all the holidays are over.

Are you full-time or part-time? Full-time.

Are you watching TV right now?  Nope. I was watching on YouTube earlier, but I decided to focus on this.

Or are you listening to music? No. It’s silent here in the living room, just the way I want it to currently be.

Would you go to jail for 3 years for $1,000,000? I don’t think that’s enough money for a dare that big.

When's your birthday?  April 21st.

Thoughts on kids?  I’m a lot less idealistic about them now. I used to want kids with my only formula being “I’ll do the exact opposite of what my mom did with me.” but I realized it’s so much more complicated than that. Raising a kid/kids is a whole damn job in itself and I see that with how my cousins of the same age, but from different families, have been acting. My cousins from one family are really spoiled and entitled, and I can’t last in a room with them for more than a minute; but my cousins in another family are so ridiculously well-behaved I can’t even start to fathom how respectful and kind they are. That observation has scared me away from kids in the meantime, because I still have to figure out how to not fuck such a responsibility up.

Worst punishment you've ever received by your parents?  The worst thing they ever did was take away my laptop privileges for an indefinite period when I was 11, when they caught me being a dumbass on social media and cursing all over the place. It’s a reasonable punishment per se, but that was also a time when the internet was starting to become a resource and requirement for homework and school projects; so my parents didn’t know how many things I failed to submit because they didn’t allow me on the internet.

Are you the type who is completely against abortion? I am pro-choice and pro-pregnant people should be allowed to make decisions about their own bodies. I don’t like the idea of abortion, but I’ve always believed people should have access to resources to learn more about it, to a healthy culture that embraces it as an option, and to actual facilities that will enable them to receive one if the need be.

Have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? No, I don’t think so. Not yet at least.

Does your favorite flower hold any meaning to you? Peonies don’t mean anything in particular. I just think they look pretty.

What would you do if your favorite animal became endangered?  I can’t imagine dogs ever getting endangered, but hypothetically I’d be crushed. I’d do the same thing I would do with other endangered animals, which is to spread the word about their situation and what can be done to save them from getting even fewer in number.

Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette?  No. I never cared for makeup. I’m turning 23 and still don’t feel the need to invest in it...should I be worried?

Do you own a tripod for your camera? We used to, but I have not seen it in a long time.

Are your nails always painted?  They never are.

What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? A breakup. < This was true for me too, at least for a time. Another one would be the barbecue that my uncle bought for a family gathering once that was definitely contaminated with something...shit gave me food poisoning at 3 AM and made me think my half-naked self was going to die right then and there in the bathroom.

Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for?  We only ever decorate for Christmas, so I guess it wins by default.

Were you popular in school? By the second half of high school I was hanging out with the popular groups and getting invited to popular kid things, but I never wanted to claim to be popular myself. I still liked letting my friends take the spotlight.

Are there any foods that often give you heartburn or indigestion?  Is there something you intend to buy in the near future?  Is anyone in your family artistically talented? What about musically? What cute behaviors or characteristics does/do your pet(s) have?  What's the screensaver on your computer?  Crossing these out as I believe this survey is a shuffle of questions from many different surveys...? and I have already answered these five in a past survey I recently finished.

What’s the sexiest thing about a guy? I don’t really care for guys, I think... I still haven’t made up my mind about them yet, but all I know is I definitely have not felt seriously attracted to any irl man my whole life.

What’s the sexiest thing about a girl?  THIGHS

Who were you with at midnight on January 1, 2021?  Who was the last person to send you a message on social media?  ^ What qualities does this person have, that you appreciate? What was the last thing that caused you to scowl, or frown?  Have you smiled at any point during the last hour?  What was the last thing you consulted Google for? So, did anyone send you a "Happy New Year" message when midnight hit? When was the last time you were on a carousel?  What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant? Have you ever played Halo?  Have you ever read a National Geographic magazine?  When was the last time you had a pillow fight?  Name somebody who you think deserves more respect: In your own words, define what the word sexy means.  What is the most popular tourist attraction where you live?  Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is? Are you any good at volleyball?  Have you ever had a water balloon fight?  Same situation as above. What an interesting order of questions, hehe. Still having fun with this though!

Do you think some babies are ugly?  Newborns are super wrinkly and make the strangest facial expressions from time to time. That won’t stop me from cooing at them, though.

Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? I’ve never been there. Is it like a standard birthday party events place for kids?

Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC? In time, maybe. 

Do you love stuff-crusted pizza?  Yessssss.

Do you apply lotion after you bathe? I don’t, but I should probably pick it up as a habit seeing how dry my skin can get.

What’s your favorite color? Pastel pink. < Same!

Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? Gabie.

Has a YouTube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? I’ve never even posted a video on YouTube.

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? Not my spot of choice, so maybe not.

Do you like Robert Frost poems?  I’m only familiar with one and I’m having a little trouble remembering it rn haha.

Do you go to church every Sunday?  We used to go to church, yeah; back when it was okay to. Our local church has allowed face-to-face masses again (but with very limited attendees) but my mom has preferred for us to stay home, so for the last few months we’ve been watching livestreams of Sunday mass every week.

Have you ever been in a relationship on-and-off for more than a year?  I would say Gab and I were on-and-off, but it went on a lot longer than a year. The total time would amount to six years.

If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. Or modeling, if I could only pull it off.

What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? I seriously don’t care. I skip out on bras all the time because I honestly personally don’t need them, and everyone should be allowed to feel and act the same way.

What is the last thing you tried on in a store? I never do this. Even before Covid, I’ve felt iffy about trying clothes that many others have already put on and were probably not washed 100% well. I’d rather get something, try it on at home, decide if it’s a good fit or not, and then return it ASAP if it ends up being the latter.

Is sleeping naked more comfortable than in clothes?  My mom doesn’t knock so I’ve always been scared to try sleeping naked (and she also throws a fit if she catches me locking my door, which is like - then why did you even buy a doorknob with a lock??), but I definitely see the appeal.

Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone?  Yes for the more part lmao, but I don’t know if I’ve ever made out in a dream.

Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before?  Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve?  What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it?  Who was the last person to truly get on your nerves? What do you think caused you to feel that way? 

Do you recycle? Is this through choice or do you live somewhere where it’s compulsory? Through choice. Waste management is sadly not much of a priority here, if at all.

Do you prefer plain, carbonated, or flavored water? Do you think you drink enough water throughout the day?  I have never tried the latter two. Water has always been tasteless and plain to me, and I never understood the point of customizing something that’s meant to be tasteless and uncarbonated. There are days where I’m able to have several glasses and other days where I unconsciously skip out on water until dinner.

Have you ever needed to call the police, ambulance, or fire department? Fortunately I’ve never had to call any of these.

When was the last time you visited the library? What was the purpose of your visit? I wasssssss maybe having something printed? If it wasn’t that, I was probably returning a book.

Do you see a lot of wild animals where you live? Are any of them dangerous? None of that here, especially since I live in the city. A sighting of a wild animal outside of a zoo or eco-park would definitely make national news, like that time an ostrich was seen running around a private village many months ago.

Aside from when you were born, have you ever had to stay the night in the hospital? Yep, from a dengue scare that turned out to be just a simple low platelet count.

Have you ever experienced a panic attack?  Yes, but they are extremely rare. The last time I had one was maybe two or three years ago. Unfortunately I think all my panic attacks were caused by and involved my mom.

Would you ever want to go into the medical profession? Was your answer different pre-COVID?  For a time, when I was hating journalism in college, I was daydreaming about the idea of shifting to biology and making the drastic swerve to med school. But I knew a love of memorizing and biology topics won’t be enough for me to be successful in the medical field, so I quickly shot the idea down.

Where you live, are people paying attention to whatever restrictions are in place to help control COVID? Many? People are definitely following and have been obedient with protocol in different places. Some cities are also still strict with maintaining their checkpoints and banning tourists from entering their area just yet. It’s the government that hasn’t really been making the effort to put measures to contain the virus.

Do you get a real or artificial Christmas tree?  Artificial. I don’t know if getting real trees for Christmas trees is a thing here.

What’s your favourite type/flavor of popcorn?  Cheddar cheese.

Do you drink oat milk? Nopes. I’d like to try it just to say that I have (and I might end up loving it too), but I have yet to look up what foods or drinks it works best with.

Do you love thrifting?  Sure, sometimes I get good finds from it.

Do you consider using only lowercase letters your aesthetic?  Sometimes I’ll use it in a Powerpoint or a tweet, but I wouldn’t say it’s an aesthetic that defines me as a person.

Do you say “mood?”  Too much.

Do you own fairy lights?  No. I wanted those before, but I’m not so sure if I still do now.

Do you own glass straws because the metal ones kind of gross you out because you can’t tell if they are clean or not? I don’t own glass straws. Most places have changed their cups into a design that you can sip directly from, anyway.

Have you made a TikTok? No, don’t care.

Do you own airpods?  No, but would like a pair.

Are you afraid of Mercury in retrograde? I really don’t care.

Do you make life choices based on astrology?  No, I don’t believe in it. It scares me how much some people rely on it and use it as an actual moral compass or judgment system. It doesn’t harm anyone so I never actively speak out against astrology, but it scares me nonetheless.

How many pairs of converse shoes do you own?  One pair. I used to own another one, but my mom threw it out several years ago.

Number of jeans in your closet:  I would say like 10-12.

What accent do you have?  Philippine English/Americanized Filipino, I guess.

Do you have a big butt? I’d say it’s decently-sized.

Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? Yeah, before.

Have you graduated?  Both high school and college, yup.

Rihanna or Lady GaGa?  I like Rihanna’s music more, but I love Gaga’s outfits, concepts, and stage presence more. Do you use fake eyelashes?  No. I had to use them twice, but I’d never seek them out on my own.

Which was the last book that really captivated you? It’s been a while since I encountered a book like this.

What makeup brands do you use?  I don’t use makeup.