#i’ve been holding it back and fake smiling all week and convinving myself if’s ok and i’m fine but yeah | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

olympiansally · 3 years ago

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Ok so I tried so hard this week like so hard to keep romanticizing things and remember who I am and be like no but you know what the world is actually good and beautiful sometimes so this is fine.

But tbh I’m having such a hard time and every day feels like a different punch from humanity going well actually no. It won’t be okay. It isn’t good. You won’t actually be fine.

And like why? I swear I’m trying so hard just let me have one beautiful not wrecked feeling please

#long ass tag rant ahead i apologize in advance and also it’s a vent so like no need to read it lmao #i am having a very dramatic time rn but here’s the thing #i’ve been holding it back and fake smiling all week and convinving myself if’s ok and i’m fine but yeah #today actually crossed the lines i guess #time to admit i might be depressed again #congrats @ me you lost your sense of self bitch #can’t even look around and be like the world is good so it will be alright anymore #when i’m less like this i will for sure get even more mad at myself for posting this and i will for sure delete and go ugh cringe #and also i do realize that this is just me throwing one of the afformentioned humanity posts but #isn’t this supposed to be a place where i can be cringe and vent and shit sometimes? because i kinda need to #i’ve had a hard time and i’ve been trying to keep warm and positive and finding good things to focuse on but #i can only do it for so long woth the world respondong like this so like sorry too much for today i guess #this is actually so out of character for me but #i’ve been pushed a bit too far and now i’m sad and mad and just like #yk i’m depressed like clinically so it happens at times but wow #no need to do me like that worlds thanks #anyway i am in fact being dramatic i guess but i’m just upset and venting #and i feel like i should be allowed to do this here yk?#otherwise well sorry i guess #if i can dig myself out of it a little i’ll try to do one more effort to love tm and post my romantic ass quiz #see if it sparks the fire of well me? inside me again because currently i’m... not that #it might be nice to help reatore my faith in people and stuff to poat amt with those vibes and see you all getting cutesy results #hopefully i can because yeah that would be nice #but with how i feel rn i’m not sure #life has just been a little too ugly so it got me in this well fuck me i guess then mindset #but i swear to god I have been trying to see love and beauty and good all week past this shit #i’m just feeling hella broken today #whatever i guess just feel worthless and def not full of love today so i guess i might have snapped a little #depression cw #anxiety cw

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