#i’m trying to portray a healing process w these fics

[narachilde]

you and i, beneath the stars.

(gentle!blade x gender neutral reader)

scenario: you seek blade out in the alchemy commission after he disappears for some time to himself. it turns into an opportunity to deepen your bond with him.

tags: fluff..? i still don’t know how to tag this, slowburn-esque, not proofread. gentle blade, you are helping blade heal. au where he can walk around on the xianzhou without getting arrested immediately.

words: 855

notes: can be read as a standalone or as a sequel to a midnight stroll. doesn’t explicitly reference the events of that one and you definitely won’t notice if you didn’t read it but i wrote it so that if you’re coming from that one it also transitions well into this one. this one is exploring the slow but steady pace at which blade is learning to trust you. once again wrote it quickly so sorry it isn’t that long. enjoy!

it was rare that blade ever left where you were staying at on his own. he didn’t like unnecessary encounters, and your outings with him were more than enough to meet his quota for going outside on the xianzhou. but once in a while if you couldn’t find him indoors, you knew where you could look.

much of the luofu was made of stone, making it difficult to find patches of nature that weren’t strategically placed in commercial areas. but if you went to quieter commissions like the alchemy commission, you could find smaller fields of grass in tranquil corners where few frequented.

more often than not, that was where you could find blade.

you figured he would be going out on his own again soon. since your last outing, he had been quieter than usual. you knew he had a lot on his mind. and with recent events, you could tell he was particularly perturbed. so when you came back and there was no sign of him at your hideout, you went straight for the alchemy commission.

were you stepping out of line? perhaps. blade was someone tormented by betrayal. a betrayal so grand that centuries later it still lingered. it showed itself in his mind, in his demeanor, and in his skin. yet who could fault him for that? even the abundance was powerless against wounds of the heart. and for blade, those would be the only wounds that mattered for eternity. how could the gestures of a short life species like yourself possibly begin to bring comfort to the ages of pain he was handling? could you ever help him seek something other than death?

you knew the answer to that was no. no matter how impactful you were in his life, death had been his only driving goal for centuries. perhaps it was impossible to change his goal, but you could at least try to make the time he spent with you more pleasant. a time that he wouldn’t be forced to spend alone, where he could finally rely on someone again. even if he had his doubts, in your soul you knew you would never betray him. you were willing to show him your sincerity for as long as you were around him.

you found him in the alchemy commission lying atop a field of grass, gazing up at the stars. though he was known for his ruthlessness, you knew better than most that he too was no stranger to sentimentality. you approached him quietly, not daring to disturb his thoughts. despite your efforts, it was easy for him to recognize you.

“i didn’t think you’d come out here.” he commented. his voice was soft, as it usually was when he wasn’t feeling slighted.

“i’ll always come check on you.” you replied in earnest. you were learning that if you wanted him to trust you, you had to be direct- even if that wasn’t your usual way of doing things.

blade hummed in a way that told you he didn’t quite believe you, but you couldn’t blame him. after everything, it wasn’t surprising that he had trouble coming to terms with your lack of ulterior motives.

so the two of you sat in silence, staring at the stars. your gaze traveled to him every so often, lingering on his solemn demeanor. you wanted so badly to know what he was thinking. you wanted to be able to comfort him better, but you dared not to push him away. you knew he would retreat if you were too forward or too insistent. so you accepted the silence, hoping your presence was enough to somewhat comfort his pain.

time passed. as your eyes flickered to him once more, you realized he had closed his own eyes, his breathing steady beneath the moonlight. you couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips- he was so gentle like this. without thinking you brought a hand to his hair, softly playing with it.

if blade was bothered, he didn’t say a word of it. instead, you were surprised when he leaned into it. it was a small movement, almost indiscernible, but you knew him. such a small movement brought you such a great joy, and you continued playing with his hair without complaint. maybe—just maybe—he was opening up to you more than you thought.

more time passed and eventually he began to sit up. trying not to reveal your disappointment, you let your hand rescind from his hair. now upright, blade stared at you with his usual gaze- soft but guarded. he opened his mouth as though he had something to say, but no words came out. he shook his head, settling for a “let’s go.”

so you got up with him, following him back to where your group was staying. what he had to say remained a mystery to you, but you didn’t miss the way he walked closer to you on the way home. and once again, you allowed yourself the privilege of hope.

a hope that maybe a deeper bond between the two of you wasn’t so far off after all.