#i’m so spoiled by aa fandom so every time i get into something else i’m like ‘but where are the zines :(‘

[frogs-in3-hills]

i think a tmnt reverse bang could be so fun.. we have a bigger proportion of AUs being introduced through a visual medium than most other fandoms i’ve been in. this is def not a commitment since i don’t have any modding experience, but it’s something i’ve been thinking about for a while. im not aware of any other bangs/minibangs happening in the fandom so.. food for thought

[romanssippycup]

Let me tell you a story...

Six months ago...I was at my breaking point. Six months ago I was tired of losing friends. By suicide. By fights. By miscommunication. By abondonment.

Back in febuary, before all I spoke of above happened though I had a rollplay group in the Undertale amino and on tumblr. We were all great friends and they were so hilarious, but things turned sour really quick when the first person commited suicide. I didn’t know there even was a suicide pact between this person and the core founder of our group, then she tried to commit suicide too.

I don’t wanna give the details, but I had lost about three friends. And then I lost everyone else. A big fight broke out in our group of 50. I remember people leaving, heartbroken, devastated, friendships shattering. It wasn’t good for anyone.

I remember sitting on the floor of my room June 10th just sobbing, because everything I had come to love and cherish in that fandom vanished in a few short weeks. My friends. My crushes. Everything.

I remember sitting at my computer scrolling through tumblr and slamming my laptop down angrily. Then opening it back up, thinking of going to youtube and watching a few light-hearted videos. With tears in my eyes, I saw Thomas Sander’s vines pop up. I remember he had always made me smile in the past. I click on his channel, and the first video I see is the “Becoming a Cartoon” video. Let me tell you I had never been so confused before in all my life.

Why was the dad character in a long video? He had a name? What is this egotistical, sassy prince doing outside of a vine? The teacher dude was always kinda hot though. But whose this new emo kid? I was intrigued, so I went through and watched all the Sander’s sides, out of order mind you though. So all the name reveals were spoiled for me. (Accept for Virgil’s, being a part of the fandom then was a real treat.)

But even so, I remember watching “My Negative Thinking” for the first time, and I broke down in tears. This time happy tears. This new series, had made me laugh and cry, and it was something that I could poor my heart into. I rewatched these videos for five long hours, before diving into the fandom.

I started on Wattpad in the end of June before AA parts 1 and 2 with Undeniably Important. The fandom was in a state of turmoil then, because we all knew Anxiety’s redemption arc was coming. I didn’t fully understand the dynamic of the fandom, but I started writing fanfiction anyways. This news series had given me something I had been without for a long time: hope. And gosh darn it I was gonna contribute. 

It didn’t exactly matter to me that I had never written fanfiction for another fandom before this. Before Inknew it I had written 10 chapters of my idea! I loved the characters. I had loved Thomas Sanders from the very beginning in 2013 and still love him to this day. I began loving Joan and Talyn. Then I began loving the Fanders! Everyone in this community is so freaking nice and cool! Just! HOW DO PEOPLE LIKE YOU GUYS EXIST?! JUST HOW?!

Coming from the Undertale Fandom you guys are just like heaven!! You all welcomed me on Tumblr. And I am forever greatful for that! We are all so lucky to live in a fandom where there are hardly any shipping wars, hardly any drama, we all lift each other up. We are LGBTQIA+ friendly. Actually we are everyone friendly. It warms my heart to see this type of community, and its such an honor to be part of it.

I wanted to give so much back to this fandom, that I started an appreciation month for it. It was supposed to be a silly thing, I honestly didn’t think any one would enjoy it. But so many people participated! (I do plan on bringing that back this August) I just feel so unworthy at times to call myself a Fander. Like you guys are just so amazing!!!

Being a Fander for this long, I just feel like I need to give credit, where credit is due.

@what-even-is-thiss I look up to you, like you’re the big brother I’ve never had. I know we hardly speak, but you were my leader by example when I was ace, and even still now. Thank you for being yourself and inspiring me, to be myself.

@thagrinbery My debate buddy! I love you more than words can say. You were one of my first ever friends in this fandom and I always had a lot of fun arguing about...nipples...with you XD. We are going to keep fighting together for the better, Bery. Please continue to be yourself, and don’t change for anyone. Because you are you, and I love you just the way you are.

@cup-of-blue Thank you for being one of my first friends in this fandom! You are an amazing drawer and your sense of humor is hilarious! We don’t talk as much as we used to, but I’d like to change that. Thank you for being awesome! Ilysm friendo!

@prplzorua You were the first fander that I ever admired, even before I was ever in the fandom on tumblr. For your amazing writing skills, and your ability to brush harsh comments off like they were nothing. You were always so strong and confident in who you were. I am honored to know you more personally now as a friend. I love you very much, and keeping beeing yourself. I know we still need to do a collab, and I’m open for it. I’ll message later today friendo.

@anonymous-snake Where are you? I miss you. We used to be such good friends. I know you said you were going to take a break from tumblr...but isn’t three months a bit much? It’s probably just me worrying about you. I hope you are ok and doing well wherever you are. Ilysm and know that people still love you here in the fander realm. Take care friend. We miss you.

@here-to-vent Eyyy Washington State bud! I think about you a lot, even though I know we don’t talk much. I still follow you and stalk you...the good kind of stalk XDEvery once and while just checking to see how you are doing. I wish for nothing but good fortune your way friendo! <3

@toxicsanders/ I know we hardly talk, but your resilience through the hard things that has happened to you through these past couple months has really spoken to me. You always find a way to push through your obstacles, even when life get’s rough. Keep moving forward friendo. You can do it. I believe in you.

@softlogic I know you aren’t in the fandom anymore, but I’ll never forget you and your kindness to me when I was just starting out on tumblr. Although you’re gone, I’ll always remember your words to me.

@justanotherpurplebutterfly You. You inspire me so much. You are just amazing in every way, shape, and form. Your writing skills are phenominal and you are such a sweet and caring person! You gave me hope at the beginning of september when I had none, when I almost left this fandom for good. I just can’t thank you enough for being my Fander friend. I love you very much friendo, And thank you!

@tinysidestrashcaptain How does one explain such an amazing person in words?! Just...how!? She is way too awesome for her own good, and one of the very few reasons why I’m still in the fandom today! We’ve gone through thick and thin together in these past five months! And it still baffles me that this amazing woman wants to be my friend! You are just so hecking awesome! Your writing, your personality, your sense of humor. You just contribute so much to this fandom and we can’t thank you enough for it! I am honored and proud to call you my friend! I love you more than life friendo!

There are tons of people I can mention who have touched my life over these six months, and I know I can’t name all of them! @leesacrakon @evilmuffin @leesacrakon @ts-sideblog @logan-logic @randomslasher  @prinxietys @princey-must-slay @pirate-patton @infinitesimally-patton @organizeddiscord @jiyudreamer @availe @fandomsandanythingelse @romananalogicality @remmythepegasis @pantton-sandacers @pattykrabbies Are all just a few that have helped me through my struggles whether they knew it or not!

 And I’m sorry that I can’t mention all of you, but if you are reading this right now, then this also applies to you! Thank you for makingthe  Fander’s fandertastic! I am human and I can’t get everyone, but just know how special you are. I love you all very much and thank you for saving me and accepting me into this web-connected, amazing, big happy family. <3

Thank you so much. @thatsthat24, @thejoanglebook, @tallykat3