#i’m seeing so much sam hate lately so i just wanted to point it out

[lambmotifz]

thinking about those two times dean confessed to sam that he enjoyed killing & torturing people and how both times sam was understanding and just accepted it

[buckys-wintersoldier]

Reader being really annoying to Bucky, but an absolute sweetheart to everyone else. When he’s complaining about it, he calls the reader “a brat.”

Nat pauses his rant and deadpans, “She’s not a brat, she’s your brat.”

Bucky tracks the reader down in the compound and tests Nat’s theory. She’s right, the reader is Bucky’s best.

(I’m so sorry, this has been brainrot material for me for over a week, now, and I just had to share it with someone else.)

Hey, sorry for the late reply. This one had my attention immediately but when I tried to write something it came out as shit thing so… yes. Absolutely love that idea! Bucky would definitely do that.

His brat | B.B

You’re such a brat, aren’t you? At least Bucky thinks so until Natasha tells him that you’re not just a brat, you’re his brat.

Pairing -> Avengers!Bucky Barnes x Brat!Reader

Wordcount -> 944 Words

Warnings -> Reader being a brat, idiots in love, teasing

Events -> Hot Bucky Summer | Week 10 | "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh.", Gagged, Voyeurism, Somnophilia | @buckybarnesevents

Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

You’re a brat, at least would someone ask Bucky, that would be his answer. You tease him, call him grumpy, grandpa.

You earn a rolling of his eyes whenever you do it, now it only needs you walking past him and he is already knowing that you’re going to say anything, whatever it is — it’s a teasing him.

Secretly he hopes that it means something, but being a brat doesn’t mean anything right? Maybe you just don’t like him? Or you just have another problem with him and don’t tell him about.

As bad as your teasing and joking can be, he feels his heart racing and a smile almost creeping in his face when you’re around, or just walk into a room.

But once again you teased him — this morning. You had a bunch of magnets and put them all on his metal arm, giggling as you also put wiped cream into his hand and slid your fingers over his forehead until he threw his hand into his face.

It needed a while to clean the arm and himself. And now he is sitting with Natasha on the couch, watching television while they talk.

“She is such a brat, always doing this jokes. And this morning! She put wiped cream on my hand and tickled me! Plus my whole arm was stuck with magnets,” he complains, moving his hand over his face and arm to make it more clear.

Natasha chuckled, pointing to the underside of Bucky’s arm. “There is still one stuck,” she smirks as he removes it with a groan.

“See! Such a brat this girl,” he mutters, throwing the magnet to the table but unfortunately for him it gets stuck on his finger and he throws his head back annoyed. “Even the magnets themselves tease me!”

The red haired woman nods her head, smirking. “You know… she isn’t a brat…” she says. Bucky turns his head to face her, narrowing his ocean blue eyes. “She is your brat, Bucky.”

Bucky shakes his head. Maybe Natasha is right? But maybe you just hate him and that’s why you’re teasing him all the time.

But after the talk he wants to find out if it’s true, are you his brat? Bucky doesn’t follow you around, but whenever you’re training or during dinner or if you’re in a room together he watches you intensely.

Around Steve you’re all sweet, asking him about his day, laughing with him, and being the sweetest one you can be. Even with Sam you’re nice, helping him out if he asks.

Not even the new agents are teased by you as much as you tease and annoy Bucky.

And with the girls you’re nice anyway. Bucky knew already, but it hits him then — you’re really not a brat, you’re his brat.

He then makes a plan, there are two options you act around him like you do, right? Either you’re head over heels in love with him as well or you’re really just annoying around him — and he hopes it’s the first option.

Bucky waits in the floor as you get up from the couch, excusing you by your friends because you need some more snacks.

As you walk out of the room and into the floor you’re already pushed into the wall with a soft yelp. Ocean blue eyes stare into yours and you notice the handsome face of Bucky with a wide grin on his pink, plump lips.

“Hi, doll!” He grins, his big hands holding you by your hips and pressing you firmly against the wall. “Thought I would thank you for the wiped cream this morning.”

“U-uhm, yes. You’re welcome,” you stutter, being catcher off guard. “Y-yes I- uhm.”

“Cat got your tongue, darlin’?” Bucky asks, his lips only inches away from yours and a whimper leaves your lips. His voice is low and his tongue darts out to wet his lips as his eyes move from yours to your lips and back to your eyes.

“N-no,” you whimper, almost leaning into him to chase his lips for a soft kiss but he leans back with a grin.

“Mhm, not? Then do you want to tell me why you’re always such a brat?” Bucky asks, one of his hands trailing up and down your side, causing goosebumps all over your body.

“I- I- Bucky, please,” you say, your tone pleading as you look over his handsome face to his plump lips — they look just so kissable.

“What do you want, doll?” He is such a tease right now, and you know he won’t give you what you want unless you ask him for it — ask him to kiss you.

“K-kiss me, please,” you whine, pouting softly as he chuckles.

“Kiss, that little bratty mouth of yours?” You nod, hands sliding to his chest to fist his shirt and pull him closer to you. “Yeah, always such a brat and now begging for me to kiss you.”

“Please Bucky, your brat, only your brat, always your brat,” you mumble, leaning closer to him. And then he finally brings his face closer to yours.

“Yeah, that’s it, doll. My brat, only mine,” he smiles, pressing his lips softly against yours and you sigh softly. After so much teasing and trying to get his attention, to be close to him — he finally kisses you. “But we should talk about your attitude, my sweet brat. Maybe a punishment would help you to be a good girl for me, even though I really like your bratty side.”

Reblogs and comments are really appreciated, as well as likes. But if you want to support your content creators, comment and reblog, it will make them way happier!

//Taglist// @kandis-mom @sergeantbarnessdoll @identity2212 @km-ffluv @lunaalovesyouu @armystay89 @suz7days @etherealdisneyvillainness @pono-pura-vida @somnorvos @meowmeowyoongles @randomawesomeperson102 @rogersbarber @sebastianstanisahotmf @loki-laufeyson68 @winterschildren8 @bxtchboy69 @jeremyrennermakesmesmile @bucky-barnes-lover @felicitylemon @cjand10 @bookishtheaterlover7 @casa-boiardi @futurequeen2018-blog @flstrawberry @capsbestgirl77 @nervouseden @jiyascepter @princesscore-angel @mrs-katelyn-barnes @sasha-writing @blackhawkfanatic @fanfictionreaderfan @multiversefanfics @angelbabyyy99 @looking1016 @aphrodite-xoxo @im-alestan @holylulusworld @iris-xoxo-juhu @fanfictionreaderfan @lives-in-midgard

@whatever-lmaoo some fluffyyyy for you!

[roosterforme]

I hope this is a good space for horny thots cause holy hell. I’m ovulating so I’m FERAL rn..I need either Jake or Bradley or Bob or WHOEVER..I just need to bite his shoulder and leave teeth marks…nails scraping down his back..covering them in hickeys..ruining government property..cause..fuck ..yeah 💕😇

Nonny, this is ALWAYS a safe space for horny thoughts....

"Fuck," Jake panted, coming for the second time this morning as you arched your back off the bed and whined his name. Your fingernails were pressed into the side of his neck, the little bit of pain almost too pleasurable at this point as he quickly withdrew from your delicious body. "Baby, I need to leave."

Your pouty lips were too much right now. You'd spent the weekend with them gliding along his cock and sucking on his neck. You sounded like a spoiled brat as you said, "But, Jake, I wanted to go for three."

Well damn, now he did too. But he really just couldn't. "Give me a raincheck? Please, Baby? I can't be late for work."

You rolled onto your side as you said, "I almost kind of hate that you're technically military property."

"Fuck Uncle Sam," Jake grunted as he pulled on some underwear and his uniform pants without even cleaning off his cock. 

Your soft giggle was followed by a whispered, "Fuck Uncle Sam."

By the time he finally made it to base, he had absolutely no time to spare. He ducked into classroom number four just as Maverick called everyone to attention, and Jake stopped to stand next to Phoenix. But as soon as Maverick came closer and really looked at him, he knew he was in trouble. 

"Hangman," his superior office said with a bit of a humorous lilt to his voice.

"Sir?"

"Those are some... interesting bruises on your neck."

Jake could feel his cheeks heating up as everyone else turned to look at him as well. He must have been wrong in his assumption that his collar covered all of the hickeys, love bites and scratches.

"And, you're out of dress code, Lieutenant."

Jake looked down at himself in horror as he realized he'd buttoned his shirt incorrectly. He wanted to disappear. Or rather, he wanted to go back to bed and punish you a little bit for turning him into such a pussy drunk mess.

"Holy shit," Phoenix whispered as Maverick walked back to the podium. "Who did you spend the weekend with?"

"That's none of your business," he hissed immediately.

Maverick cleared his throat loudly. "Yeah, well it's about to be everyone's business when they see you running five miles around base and then doing two hundred pushups," he said loudly. "You were thirty seconds late and you look like hell. Get a move on, Hangman."

He thought about how tight he was going to tie you up while he was running.

[queen-of-the-avengers]

An Endless Cycle

Pairing: Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2k

Warnings: relationship angst, bucky beating and shooting someone, heartbreak

Summary: Reality comes crashing into you like a freight train and you can't stop it. You're stuck in a cycle that you have no idea how to get out of. You love Bucky, but can you bend your morals to be with him? Is he worth the heartbreak? Are you?

Between Love and Hate Masterlist

Squares Filled: last times/farewells (2023) for @buckybarnesbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Italy had some bumps and bruises but you didn’t let that spoil your good time. Now that you’re back in the States, you’re reminded of your responsibilities like school. Bucky has been more lenient in letting you go to school without Sam or Steve with you since this is your safe space. He doesn’t want to do anything to strip you of this and he’s not going to start now.

“I’ll be back here at three to pick you up.”

“Okay.” You move to get out but Bucky stops you before you can. “What?”

“Get over there.”

Bucky pulls your upper body across the center console and kisses you. Butterflies explode in your stomach at the feel of his lips on yours. This is what you want every day to be like. Just you and Bucky in each other’s arms without the threat of danger to either of you.

“If you keep kissing me, I’m going to be late,” you mutter against his lips.

“Okay. I’m done.”

You pull away but lean in for one more kiss. You get out of the car with a grin before hurrying over to your first class of the day. Your fashion design class is the one you’re looking forward to the most, and Gio smiles when he sees you.

“Hey, you’re back.”

“Yeah. Gio, I am so sorry for bailing on the party. I did want to go.”

“Don’t worry about it. Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah. I went to Italy believe it or not.”

“With Bucky?”

You miss the sour tone in his voice.

“Yes. He can be an ass sometimes. Sorry for how he behaved last time.”

You don’t miss the sour look on Gio’s face.

“My dad knew Bucky.”

“Yeah? Through what?”

“Work.”

You’re not sure why but you don’t like the way he says that word. Work. Bucky kills people for work. That means dangerous people after a dangerous man. Instead of diving deeper into that like you know you should, you turn to the front of the class and pay attention to the professor.

“The partners you had for the last project will be your partners for this project. The first step in designing anything is the artwork of the clothes you want to sell. Both of you will come up with six designs. Make sure to include measurements, fabric style, design style, and who your audience is for the type of clothes. You’ll have the entire lab period to work on your designs. You may begin now.”

Gio is a better artist than you so he works on sketching the designs while you come up with everything else. The dress you two made was kind of your idea so you’ll let him have the say on each of the designs for this project. He doesn’t say much except for the occasional, “What color should this part be?” You’re not going to bother him on a topic you know is probably sensitive, so you don’t stick around at the end of class to talk to him.

You walk to the meeting point where Bucky is supposed to pick you up ten minutes before he says he is going to be here. He’s usually early but maybe there is traffic or he got caught up in something. You take a seat on a bench and open a game on your phone to pass the time. Ten minutes turn into twenty turn into forty and then into an hour. Bucky is never this late, and he didn’t bother to call you. You tried calling him three times but he didn’t answer you.

Looks like you’ll have to walk to the nearest bus station, not that you mind much. It’s weird Bucky didn’t reach out to you. While on your walk, you notice dark clouds rolling in. Can you get to the bus station before it starts to rain? No, but the hope was there. It’s not pouring down like you thought it would but it’s not a light drizzle either. You’re soaked to the bone by the time you reach the town where the bust station is. It’s already there letting passengers on but there is a car you recognize across the street from the station.

Bucky’s sleek black Maserati is parked in front of an older-looking apartment building that has clearly seen better days. You abandon your plan of using the bus and head across the street to his car. Why would he and his men be here? It’s fine if he’s busy and couldn’t pick you up, but to not even call you? That’s when it becomes a problem.

The building doesn’t have a working elevator so you have to climb three stories to get to the top. Most doors that lead into the apartments are locked until you get to the top floor. One of the doors is propped open and sounds of pain are coming from the inside. A man grunts in pain when someone punches him in the face. You can hear the sickening crack of his jaw. Your heart pounds in your chest at what you might see but you know you have to do this.

You peek through the small opening of the door and see a man tied to a chair in the middle of the room. Bucky’s men surround him with guns but they don’t use them. Bucky stands in front of him with his sleeves rolled to his elbows. Bucky pulls his fist back and slams it into the man’s face, causing blood and a tooth to spill from his mouth.

“Spune-mi cine este șeful tău!” Tell me who your fucking boss is! “Unde este lista?” Where is the list?

What list? What is going on? You can’t focus on anything but the way Bucky is being so brutal. You’re brought back to the night you left the first time, and your heart breaks all over again. How can he be so gentle with you but so brutal to everyone else?

“I don’t know,” the man pants. “Please, don’t do this. I have a family.”

Bucky doesn’t hear him. He beats him twice more before taking out a gun and shooting the man in the face. You gasp so loudly that Bucky and his men turn to face you. The look in Bucky’s eyes softens once they see the tears in yours. You can’t keep doing this. You’re stuck in an endless cycle that you can’t seem to escape from.

“Y/N…”

You turn and quickly run back down the stairs. Bucky shouts from above but you’re focused on getting the hell out of here. You’re not a track star or anything but once you start running, you can’t seem to stop. Bucky’s place isn’t far from town since he likes everything to be close to where he lives. You could take the bus but then he might make it home before you do. You could call an Uber but he’d definitely beat you back home. Instead, you run. Your legs feel like they are going to fall off, your lungs burn, and your heart pumps fast but you don’t stop running until you’re back at Bucky’s mansion.

You throw open your bedroom door and stumble inside while panting. You grab a backpack and start throwing shit into it. You should have never gotten caught in the first place. This time, you’ll make sure to disappear for good no matter how much it breaks you to do it. Bucky barges through the front door seconds later and races up the stairs two at a time.

Fuck it. You’ll get all new shit somewhere else. You zip up your backpack and run into the hallway where you run into Bucky’s chest. You shove him away and step around him but he grabs at your elbow to stop you.

“Y/N, wait!”

“I can’t do this anymore,” you cry and yank your elbow away from him. “I can’t be with you knowing you’re out there hurting people like that.”

“This is what I do, Y/N. I am the boss of my mafia. Killing people is how I send a message.”

You flinch not only from his words but his tone. He sighs after realizing the effect his words have on you.

“That man had a family. That man was someone’s father, husband, and son. You just took him from them without blinking.”

“That man had a list of my people his mafia plans to kill one by one. He had intel on everyone on my team. I had to kill him first.”

You sniffle and wipe the tears from your eyes.

“What if it had been you who were tied up? What fi it was your life on the line? What then?”

Bucky walks closer to you with a look made of steel. His voice is cold as ice.

“I am no one’s father, I’m no one’s son, and I’m definitely no one’s husband. You make sure of that,” he glares.

You look up at him as two tears roll down your cheeks.

“And if it had been me who was taken?”

“Don’t.” Bucky immediately cuts you off with such coldness like you’ve never seen before. You scoff and turn to leave but he’s not done with this conversation. “Doll, I am in this life whether you like it or not. I can’t leave it.”

“But I can.” You turn back to him. “I love picking flowers and going to animal shelters just to play with the dogs and cats. If I pass by a baby and a mother in the park, I have to stop just to make the baby laugh. I even stopped traffic once just to help a mother duck and her babies cross the road so they wouldn’t get hit. How do you expect me to react to you brutally killing someone?”

“You were never supposed to see that.”

“Maybe if you answered your damn phone, you might have told me to go straight home! You left me waiting an hour for you at school!”

“I’m sorry,” he sighs.

“Yeah, well, I am, too. I’m going home. My home.”

You turn to leave and see a flash of lightning in the distance followed by thunder. Rain pours down outside, hitting fat drops on the window.

“So, what does this mean for us?”

His words stop you. You can’t look at him or else you’ll break down in tears and never stop crying.

“Are you going to stop hurting people?” He can’t answer because he can’t lie to you. “I have no choice but to leave.”

“Y/N--”

You turn to face Bucky with tears rolling down your face. It kills him to see you in such pain but what can he do? He can’t ever leave this life. He’s in too deep.

“It hurts so much to love you. It hurts knowing you’re doing that when I’m home wishing you were with me instead. It hurts so fucking much, and I can���t do it anymore. I refuse to make myself less than to be by your side.

“Please don’t go.”

Bucky steps closer to you. Lightning strikes again lighting up the dark hallway. You can see pain across Bucky’s face but you need to do this for you.

“Do you love me?”

“You know I do.”

“Would you do anything for me?”

“Yes.”

“Then let me go,” you sob.

“Everything I do is for you!” Bucky yells which makes you flinch but you stand your ground. “Everything I’ve accomplished is for you!”

“Being with you hurts,” you cry. “I can’t give you what you need. You’re not enough anymore. I want more than what you can offer me. I can’t be in love with a murderer.”

Bucky can see how much pain he’s putting you through. How can he claim to love you if he’s hurting you at the same time? Bucky stands up straighter and every bit of emotion is wiped from his face.

“Steve will take you home. I’ll have him bring the rest of your things later.”

With that, he turns and leaves you alone in the dark hallway. You must not be enough for him either because he just walked away like it was the easiest fucking decision ever.

x

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[jamiesfootball]

❔

❔Choose a random WIP and talk about it.

So I've got this random wip that's been sitting in my drafts that is basically:

Roy and Jamie stick around after the gala talking to each other and having a surprisingly great time about it

'Give him an inch and he'll act like it's been three weeks' Jamie then shows up the next day assuming him and Roy are like. Best friends

'Takes 5 to 6 months to process things' Roy Kent is like fuck no. You're an awful person.

Jamie: *shocked pikachu face*

Roy: *does not want to feel bad about it* *does not want to feel bad about it* *the prick did it to himself* ........ *FEELS BAD*

Roy: be less of a dick and then we'll talk

Jamie: .......how much less of a dick?

Roy: what?

Jamie: like, 20% less?

Roy: No.

Jamie: 30%?

Roy: At least 90% less of a dick than your current levels of dickishness

Jamie: Can't go that high, I've got an image to protect. 75%

Roy: 80.

Jamie: Deal. FIFA at my place?

Roy: the fuck did I just agree to

What takes place after that is a slapstick level of antics as Jamie attempts (fails) (succeeds while failing?) to be exactly 80% nicer, which to him means that for every 4 '''nice''' things he does, he gets to cash in 1 free coupon to be a dick and Roy can't get mad at him for it. He's turned being nice into a points system.

"At least the good outweighs the bad?" Ted suggests when Roy tells him, which tells Roy that Ted isn't taking this seriously.

And the nice things he does? Somewhere between 'confused but he's got the spirit' and 'I guess that technically counts but I'm not happy with it.'

Nate - Compliments his hair every time he sees him. “Well I’m talking up, yeah? So his perceived value will seem higher than it actually is. Technically this should count as two since he's clearly insecure about it - I mean, why else would he keep dying it all the time. He isn't fooling anyone.”

[Isaac is now convinced Jamie is gay and in love with Nate. Colin is dying inside because when he tries to correct Isaac, Isaac acts like Colin is being homophobic. Jamie has no idea. Nate's self-esteem grows exponentially fast.]

Sam - Steps over him. Gets yelled at by Roy for not checking on his teammate. Points out Sam isn't actually hurt. Roy tells him it's still his job to back Sam up. Jamie backs Sam up by going at the guy who tackled him and gets yellow carded off the field.

This is not what Ted intended, but it's not...not the kind of behavior he wants from Jamie?

The entire team is just confused. Roy doesn't know how this became his problem.

Jamie is... confused for other reasons. Because he only did all this stuff, yeah, because there's this stupid bit inside him that he can't seem to shut up that's always been hurt that Roy Kent seems to hate him. And now Roy seems to (mostly) like (tolerate) him, and it's a little terrifying how fucking starved he is for that now. Not just from Roy either. Somewhere along the lines the other players on the team have warmed up to him too, and Ted looks pleased with him lately, and it all just way to much positive attention and validation for someone who's been starved for it for so long.

To his horror, the whole being nice thing is becoming a reflex. He hardly notices now when he tosses out a compliment that Nate's looking sharp today. He cashes in a point to tell Sam his passing was shit, then follows it up with a 'but you're looking faster out there' so he can start working up to the next point. Sam smiles at him like he never ever said the first part.

Sometimes Jamie catches himself being nicer and realizes he forgot to count it towards his points at all.

The more confused Jamie gets, the more concerned Roy finds himself about this whole weird situation. Frustratingly, he finds he actually likes Jamie. When he's not going out of his way to be a pain in the ass, Roy actually enjoys his company. Plus, now that he's tolerable to be around, Roy can stomach passing to him, and Richmond is starting to play well?

Then Jamie gets sent back to City : )

[dominimoonbeam]

Hi, first I wanted to say that I really love your writing and thank you so much for sharing it.

You're amazing and so talented and you made me addicted to your writing. The way you write characters is so real and your way of writing scenerios in general makes me so Invested in the story.

Another thing, I don't know if you accept requests and if you don't feel free to ignore it:

Can I please ask for Sam comforting darlin after a long week when they basically shut down from stress? (Can you tell I'm projecting?😅)

Please don't feel pressured to do it, I know you're working on a lot of stuff now too so maybe just keep the idea for the future?

Anyway I wish you a happy rest of your week, take care of yourself and rest if you need to!

Anon! Thank you so much for all the kind words! You're not the only one needing some comfort and care lately! I think something about this season has been rough for people for a bunch of different reasons, myself included. I've got you! Or at least, I tried. Hope you like it! And I hope things turn up and go smoother for you soon!

Sam/Darlin comfort fic below the cut. Will probably reread and post it on ao3 later on.

<3

They were tired.

Dead tired. Like they wished they were dead. No, no, that was bad. They didn’t wish that. They just… It had just been such a long fucking week and it felt like everything was going wrong. Nothing big enough that they could point it out or complain. Just, off. And they hadn’t been able to sleep. And it seemed like the longer it went, the longer they hid it well enough that no one pressed for an explanation they couldn’t begin to come up with, it got heavier rather than lighter.

When they got home that night from a job, they were actually relieved Sam wasn’t back yet. The last thing they wanted to do was to drag him down with them. God, he deserved so much better than them. They tossed their keys on the side table, toed off their boots, and hung up their jacket. The side of their face throbbed. They’d gotten hit with a fucking bat. David thought their cheekbone was broken and had only finally allowed them to go home because he knew Sam would take care of it.

Darlin sat down in the big chair, their favorite chair, and told themself they’d just sit for a minute. And then they’d shower, see if their face was really that much of a mess, and if it was, maybe they’d drag their ass over to the clinic and get a healer there to fix it. They felt bad making Sam patch them up all the time, but they also hated the idea of anyone else touching them let alone mending them.

They could put an ice pack on it. Maybe the swelling would go down on its own.

They sank back in the chair and closed their eyes. Just a minute.

-

Sam was still at the Solaire house when he got a call from David.

His heart always lurched high in his chest when he got a call from David, his first thought always that frantic fear that something had happened to Darlin. Why else would David call him instead of Darlin or instead of using the group chat?

Sam stepped away from the big table of squabbling younger vampires and a very amused William.

“David?”

“Hey Sam,” David said, voice gruff but easy, instantly relieving that tension in Sam’s chest. “I just wanted to check in and see how they’re doing.”

The tension was back. “What?” Darlin had been off for almost a week, barely talking but not willing or ready to tell him why. He wasn’t sure they knew themself, not yet. But somehow he didn’t think that was what David was talking about.

The pause stretched. “Are they not home yet?”

Sam was already grabbing his jacket and waving heading for the front door. “They might be, but I ain’t. Why?”

David sighed. “Sorry. It’s not an emergency, Sam. The job got rough and they took a bat to the face… I would have taken them to a healer but they insisted—”

“Yeah,” Sam said, nodding. Of course, they would. “I’m heading home now. I’ll let ya know when they’re patched up.”

He called Darlin in the truck but they didn’t answer, which conjured a mess of panicked thoughts. What if they’d passed out behind the wheel? The thought of his Darlin in a twisted wreck was hard to push away and almost immediately replaced by other tragic imaginings.

He exhaled small relief when he saw their car in front of the house.

The front door wasn’t locked. Darlin never locked it when they were home. And there they were, asleep in the big chair. He sighed and put his keys down with theirs. Another step inside and their eyes opened. Well, one opened, the other was swollen shut.

“Damn…” Darlin winced as he closed the door. They sat up with some effort. “Sorry, I think I fell asleep… What time is—”

“Don’t you dare stand up,” he warned when they were starting to tip forward. He was already in front of them, gently catching their shoulder to ease them back. He kept his voice in a low hush, thinking their head had to be hurting inside and out. “You shoulda called me, Darlin.” He knelt beside their leg, carefully fingering hair out of their face. The bruising was new, like it had only just begun, and the swelling was bad. It looked like their cheekbone was broken. “David said you got hit with a bat?”

Darlin sighed, shoulders slumping. “I wasn’t paying attention and this guy… Yeah.”

Sam clicked his teeth to keep from snarling at the idea of ‘this guy’ whoever the hell he was. He reached toward their face but they caught his wrist and pulled it gently down to their heart instead. “I’ll be gentle,” he promised, surprised.

Darlin smiled weakly, eyes already closed again. “I know. You always are, cowboy. But I don’t…” They sighed, their smile gone. “I don’t want to cost you anything right now, you know?” Their voice had gotten small, like they were far away inside themself.

Sam kept his hand to their chest, feeling their heartbeat through his palm. He leaned against their thigh, so they’d feel him right there next to them, practically leaning into the chair with them. “You never cost me anything,” he whispered back. “Healing you is a privilege. It makes me feel like there’s something I can do for you. I love you, Darlin.”

Their face pinched, not a wince but close, and he thought if they opened those eyes, they’d be teary. His other hand stroked up the side of their thigh, squeezing them gently. “Tell me what it is,” he said gently. “Tell me what’s going on in your head.” He said it quietly, like it could be just between them.

Darlin sighed and he heard all the exhaustion and strain in that breath. “I don’t know. I just… It’s been a bad week. It’s everything. I just feel… Everything. And I’m tired and I hate myself and I can’t… I can’t take things from you when I feel like I’ve got nothing to give.”

Sam watched them the whole time they choked out that barely audible confession. They’d never told him these things, but they didn’t shock him either. They hurt, because he never wanted them to feel like that, but they didn’t shock him. “Do you trust me, Darlin?”

That good eye opened enough to look at him, surprised. “Of course. I love you.”

He stroked his thumb against their collar, above their heart. “I’m going to heal you and then we’re going to take a bath. You can talk or you can relax. We’re going to get some well needed sleep and I’m going to order your favorite food. And every step of the way, I’m going to remind you that you’re incredible and all the reasons I love you, all the reasons your pack loves you, and all the reasons my clan loves you. You get to feel however you feel, Darlin, but that voice in your heart telling you bad shit, that’s asshole is lying.”

A tear rolled off Darlin’s lashes, even though their mouth was set in a stubborn line, like they refused to acknowledge it.

He reached up slowly, so they could stop him again if they needed to argue about this more, but he also couldn’t leave their face like that. His fingertips brushed the edge of the bruising and Darlin’s eye closed as that warm magic slid through their skin, spreading out. The delicate bone in their cheek healed and the swelling went down.

They exhaled relief when they opened both eyes and blinked at him.

He could see an apology building in their eyes, trying to form on their tongue. He took their face in both hands and leaned in, touching his forehead to theirs the way he’d seen the pack do. “Trust me,” he pleaded. “I ain’t ever going to lie to you, Darlin, and we’ll get through bad weeks together.”

Darlin stayed tense for another few seconds, like they might push this comfort away, but finally they sagged. Too tired maybe?

Sam smiled when they tipped their face into his, brushing a soft kiss against his lips. He kissed back and then pulled them to their feet to lead them to the bathroom. He had to make a dash back to his jacket to send a text off to David, telling him Darlin was fine but they were taking tomorrow off.

[sammygender]

Hello, you post from the other day made me think: Are any of the other Winchesters (Mary, late season and early season Sam and Dean) ideologically opposed to violence again children? Like idk. Feels like early Sam and Dean might be in a "vague, obviously I would never do that" but they've also never been parents. But then late seasons, its like :/

oh great thing to ponder

mary i feel like we don’t see anything on screen in either direction? but it doesn’t feel like her style. of course we don’t see her actually parenting kids much but she doesn’t seem whatsoever overly emotional or particularly controlling and she’s very sweet to jack from what i remember and idk i just have a hard time imagining it. whether she’s incredibly opposed? idk, again she’s born in the 1950s and was raised hunting which is innately a violent atmosphere. but she also really did not want her kids hunting & is very distressed by the fact they’re still in the life. idk. to me it doesn’t read like someone who thinks hitting kids is whatsoever ok. that being said i think she’d be upset if john did and she found out, but not, like, insanely upset by it to a point of it changing her opinion on john.

sam and dean….. well canonically they do of course really hate violence against children, s1’s nightmare and s12’s american nightmare come to mind, plus i remember mark of cain dean yelling at what he thinks is a bad father but i dont remember the actual context for that. that being said both those episodes are very extreme cases of textbook physical abuse that i think anyone sane would be disturbed and upset by.

at the same time i think both of them are biased via not wanting to view john as physically abusive in any way. s1 dean probably thinks slapping ur kid a bit is like. fine. no harm done. he certainly defends john to sam enough... i reckon after john dies and he starts processing things he goes back on this completely but by late seasons/dabb era he’s probably back to his original opinion. sam thinks hitting a kid is always wrong because they have so much less power than you except for when it applies to him as the kid. in that case it was basically fine.

basically i do think they’re both ideologically opposed but sam more so than dean. also dean hits sam and smashes shit up when he’s mad so he’s not exactly or whatsoever ideologically opposed to interpersonal violence in his other relationships…..

that being said i dont really see dean hitting a kid he can just take that out on sam or the furniture around them instead. dean’s violence is a lot less unintentional than he sometimes makes it seem, it’s usually a purposeful demonstration of control, and i think actually hitting a kid is a line i can’t really see him crossing. not because he isn’t that bad but because he wouldn’t want to conceptualise himself that way. whereas john probably wouldnt think so much of it. but maybe i’m wrong 🤷‍♂️ ??? kind of split on this. interested to hear other peoples takes on it

sam never. not in a million years. and he is definitely strongly ideologically opposed, id say the most of them all. i hate to say it but i think if dean did it he’d manage to defend it though. the same way he defends dean telling jack he’s going to kill him. ‘dean was wrong to do that! but Also, he’s going through a hard time-’

wrt to jack……. i mean dean basically tries to kill him😭. early s13 is pure abusive family core. do i think dean would hit jack? he shoves ben into the wall but it’s an accident... and he’s pretty distressed by that iirc? he probably would in early s13 but he wouldn’t think of it as violence against children. which doesn’t make it better in the slightest. but to dean it does. <3

thanks for the q anon!!

[skyalent]

Witches Can Be Good | Supernatural x Scarlet Witch! Reader - Part 3

Warning: Angst

Happy New Year everyone… although kinda late. I’m not gonna lie I totally forgot about this until I finally logged into Quotev and got notifications on people commenting for part 3. I’m so sorry TwT RisaIceCreamPudding and Arabella from Quotev… but also thank you for reminding me <3

Also do you guys want me to make a masterlist? I don't expect this series to be too long, but if you'd like it, I can make it. Or a taglist. Just let me know with a comment!

Part 1 *~* Part 2 *~* Part 3 (You are here) *~* Part 4???

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Part 3: ...Goodbye?

The brothers were acting strange and Y/n knew it. She didn’t know why because she didn’t want to pry into their minds, but she did make subtle attempts to make them open up to her. Nothing was working so far. 

Meanwhile the brothers were full of all kinds of thoughts. After Sam deemed the DVDs safe and normal they watched the movies together while they sent Y/n out on a solo ghost hunt. 

Dean’s mind was blown over and over again. One, Y/n’s real name was Wanda and was part of the avengers!? Which was pretty damn cool especially with how hot she looked back then (and she only got hotter as she got older). But then both him and Sam found out about Y/n lover. Vision, a robot, but he reminded them of Castiel, as both were learning how to act human. 

While watching they felt like they were intruding in that moment. The way the two confided to each other… Dean wasn’t one for chick flick moments but he could tell that these two were utterly in love with each other. 

But then they witnessed the pain Y/n went through, practically losing everything. She lost her brother, her twin- a mute scream emphasizing her pain. Dean and Sam could relate, having lost each other more times than they could count.

She lost Vision to Thanos, the ugly wrinkled grape that both brothers just wanted to beat up in order to never see Y/n look that upset again. 

Then she herself died, her face oddly calm as she dusted away. But Sam understood. At that point, Y/n thought she had lost everything and had nothing left to live for. Her thoughts were probably along the lines of, at least I’ll be with my brother and Vision.

Coming back to life 5 years later, Y/n was understandably angry as she unleashed her anger on Thanos. But after that Y/n was lost. 

Her brother, gone. Her lover, gone. And as she came back to life she learned that her sister figure, Natasha, was gone too. 

Maybe that’s why they could only sympathize and understand as they watched WandaVision that for once in her life Y/n just wanted to be normal and happy. 

It was quite weird to watch Y/n magically give birth to two twin boys, but they couldn’t deny the amount of love Y/n had for her family. 

And then… 

“Dean isn’t that the witch that gave us the DVDs?” 

Agatha Harkness. Now the brothers knew that the witch could not be trusted based on the way she treated Y/n. 

The next time they see her, Dean isn’t going to hesitate in shooting his gun. 

But then onto Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness… 

“LIKE DUDE WHAT THE F*CK!?” 

First off, Y/n was hot. As in, slay b!tch, get it kinda hot. And she was kinda evil. 

“But think about it.” Sam pointed out, “She just lost her children, who she had for like, a couple days, she lost her husband- although I can see that she’s accepted his death by now. At this point Y/n is just desperate for her family, for love, for normality.” 

Sam wasn’t ashamed to say he was balling tears by the end of the movie. Obviously, Y/n wasn’t dead, but she had gone through so much that it left one question in their minds. 

Does Y/n… still want that normality? 

Because even if the Winchester brothers hated the thought of getting rid of Y/n from their lives, Y/n would never get to live a normal life while being friends with them. She would be stuck in a hunter’s life.  

“We should let her go…” Dean said blankly after a few minutes of silence. 

“Dean-”

“No, I’ve thought this through. That life she wanted. Sam, she’ll never be able to get that with us. Didn’t you see how happy she was with her family? I admit it was kinda f*cked up, but now she has another chance at it again. We can give her that chance again.”

Sam contemplated it, though Dean could see his resolve breaking. 

The Winchester brothers were going to let Y/n go.  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The brothers had driven Y/n far from the bunker after telling her they were going on a trip. After parking into a driveway, they stepped out, a confused Y/n following after.

“Wait, what’s going on? Why-” 

“Y/n what we do is extremely dangerous, and it’s only going to get more dangerous from here on out.”

“Dean, I know that already. Why do you think I’m here? To protect you guys because-” Y/n attempted to explain but was cut off by Sam. 

“We can’t be associated with witches Y/n. All the hunters know who we are. Once they figure out what you are, even more people will be out to kill us, on top of the supernatural.” 

“Alright I’m calling BS-”

“Sorry, Y/n. But please, this will be so much better for you. We even paid for this house and everything. Don’t worry about it, please.” Dean opened the trunk and took out Y/n’s suitcase, rolling it to the door and passing the house keys to Y/n.

“But guys you’d be even safer if-”

“If you stayed here.” Dean sternly said to Y/n, looking directly into her eyes. She swallowed, her mouth feeling dry. “We don’t need a witch helping us.” 

Frozen, Y/n could only watch as the brothers got back into the Impala and drove away into the distance. Heart broken, tears uncontrollably ran down her face as she wept.

“...but you guys are my family…”

So... Part 4???

< Previous *~* Next >

[eisforeidolon]

https://www.tumblr.com/eisforeidolon/751943165375856640/do-you-consider-dean-to-be-abusive-to-sam-i-read

You are totally entitled to your opinion, but this reply was a not so much, "no, I don’t think Dean was abusive" response. It was more a "look at all the times Sam is meaner and worse than Dean" response, which is what Sam fans get accused of doing in reverse. The thing is, Sam girls ARE overly defensive of Sam, but it is partially because the show narrative itself almost always sides with Dean, as in his choices end up being "right" even when they logically shouldn’t be. Or sam just has to "get over" things or he’s a "bitch, but Dean is allowed to be angry and hurt without the show shitting on him for it. Sam even gets blamed for things that he didn’t even do (this is by Castiel often, though. And he sucks, so … whatever). Sorry, but just some backstory on why Sam girls get sensitive.

I don’t actually think Dean is abusive. I think he’s damaged and dealing in the way he knows how. And, yeah, both brothers hurt each other a lot by lying, saying harsh things, etc. I actually think the times either have punched each other, the other hardly counts as anything serious. Nit the big fights, but the single- punches. I’m not saying they are right, but growing up fighting monsters, a punch is going to mean less to both of them than not trusting each other or things like that.

Also, in my opinion, I get people’s annoyance at the whole Sam trying to get Dean to talk about things on his time frame isn’t cool. But, it results in Dean knowing he can open up when HE is ready. He always ends up sharing with Sam in th end. But, as the show goes on, Dean shuts doesn’t Sam’s attempts to talk about how he feels. So he stops. Sam is a bit hypocritical in wanting Dean to talk when he wouldn’t, yes, but he’s also learned that after being shut down a few key times. In the late seasons, both are better at sharing with each other, so they get there in the end.

Sorry, if this comes off as combative, but I agree with your initial point that they have both hurt each other in many ways. I think whoever we identify with, we are always going to give more leeway though.

Can’t we all just agree to hate Castiel for blaming Sam for things he hadn’t done, betraying Dean, and generally sucking?

Honestly, I mostly avoid a lot of the brother vs. brother conversations just because it is so hard to address it in a way that will not be taken badly by one side or the other because there are so many biased, rancid takes floating around. People can get very entrenched and defensive, which is kind of a shame. Not just because that's not fun, but people being willing to give their faves more leeway? Can actually lead to all kinds of interesting speculation and meta about the characters' choices that I think often enriches the fandom.

The initial premise of the anon was regarding claims Dean is abusive by people taking Dean's worst behaviors regarding Sam in a vacuum. Since I don't agree Dean was uniquely terrible to Sam specifically because they've both got issues with control and yes, their lives are violent and they've both gotten physical with each other? I wasn't sure how else to address that without pointing out Sam's side of that equation existing. And I did want to use some specific examples to avoid having to come back later and add them in because 'Well, *I* don't remember Sam ever...'

I did see how that could come off as harping on Sam, but I didn't really see a way around it. I could have tried to reiterate more of Dean's various behavior which was not great - but given that was baked into the initial premise and punching people when you're angry is kind of ... obviously bad? If there was a more even-handed way to say what I meant, it was sadly beyond my abilities when composing the post. But my intention was very much just to point out that the context in which Dean's behavior occurs is a relationship that's kinda fucked up sometimes from both sides, not to imply Sam was worse or meaner to Dean than Dean was to Sam.

[charcoalhawk]

Don’t go where I can’t follow

What scares Tucker the most, after everything, was that he hadn’t even known anything was wrong.

Truce gift for @phan-pheeking-tastic, ended up going with Tucker and Sam finding out Danny is half-ghost in a No-One Knows AU.

This was super fun to do, hope you enjoy!

What scares Tucker the most, after everything, was that he hadn’t even known anything was wrong.

He had thought, with how close he and Danny were, how close they had been, that he would have known if something had happened to him. To his family.

But he hadn’t. Neither had Sam.

When he wakes up that day there’s no dread, no forbording feeling in gut. Heck, Tucker wakes up pretty happy.

It’s the last day of school before winter break, and he and Sam have plans to play as much Doom as possible so they can hopefully beat it before the new year. There’s rumors that anyone who can will be able to access new dlc content that otherwise won’t be available until at least the summer.

Some small part of him is even happy that Danny isn’t in town this week, meaning he and Sam can hang out without things getting awkward.

And Tucker hates thinking like that. Danny was his best friend for a long, long time, but ever since high school started the two of them had slowly drifted apart. Which he does understand, on some level. They’re not five years old anymore playing together on the playground.

But Danny had become so aloof with them, barely interacting with them in class and showing up late to hang out, if he even showed up at all.

And it couldn’t have been because of their new undead neighbors that now haunted the town. After the first like, month, Phantom had proved he was a decent enough ghost that most people didn’t really have to worry about malicious undead any more than they had to worry about overdue homework.

He and Sam have just finished fighting the second to last boss in Doom when there’s a knock on his door. A quick glance at his computer’s clock shows that it isn’t even 11pm yet, so it can’t be his parents telling him to start winding down to go to sleep. It’s also winter break now, so why-?

After a second his Dad’s face peeks through the door, his form backlit by the hallway lights. He thinks he sees his mom too, but after a moment she seems to briefly lay her hand on his father’s shoulder then disappear from view.

“Hey kiddo,” it's hard to tell what his dad is thinking at that moment, and his voice sounds carefully neutral, “are you at a good stopping point for the night? I need to talk with you about something serious.”

He goes to share a glance at Sam but she’s already getting up from her desk.

“Hey Tuck,” Sam’s voice is muffled from her starting to remove her headphones, “I think I’m going to have to call it quits for tonight. My parents just came in and said they need to talk about something important. Hopefully tomorrow we can start planning for the final boss. I’ll text you later, night.”

“Sounds good,” he replies, quickly saving and logging out to the main screen, “night.”

And with that the room is washed in silence. After a second of hesitation his Dad reaches over and flips on the room’s overhead light, moving to sit on the bed across from his gaming set-up.

“Soooo…” Tucker prompts, “what’s up? You said you needed to tell me about something serious?”

His dad doesn’t respond immediately, taking a deep breath before slowly reaching out to rest his hand on Tucker’s shoulder.

“Tucker,” his father looks so sad, “there’s been an accident, a- an attack. Danny’s mom is in a coma.”

———

It takes almost a week to fully find out what happened.

The Fenton’s had been visiting a family friend in Wisconsin, apparently Vlad Masters had gone to college with Danny’s parents, and had invited them all to his mansion for the weekend. It had also been rumored that Mr. Masters had been experiencing some supernatural events that he had wanted Maddie and Jack to help him solve, and with how fanatic the two were around ghosts they had obviously been eager to help in any way they could.

And it had turned out that the rumors had been true, and at least one violent ghost had attacked the mansion the following evening.

Here the details get murky.

Some reports say a single ghost was responsible for the attack, and only the Fenton’s weapons and skill saved everyone from being killed by the vengeful spirit. Others claim it was two ghosts having a territory spat that just so happened to happen in the mansion. Some even claim Phantom drove off the raging ghost and stopped more injuries from occurring.

Number of ghosts aside, the attack had destroyed almost a third of the Masters’ Mansion, and had left most of the staff with injuries from debris or from the ghosts themselves. Danny and Jazz had apparently escaped the worst of it because their parents had gotten them out early on and the two had hidden in the nearby woods until authorities arrived.

Jack had gotten a nasty concussion and broken two ribs fighting off the ghost(s), and Maddie had suffered some kind of mental or physical trauma that left her comatose.

Vlad Masters’ was missing, no one had seen him directly prior to the attack, and afterwards it was like he had just up and vanished.

————

He and Sam stand outside the Fenton house for almost a full minute before Sam seems to find the courage to knock. Two long, followed by two fast and one long, the same combination they’ve all used since they were little kids.

The silence afterwards is thick, and just as Sam is raising her hand to knock again there’s a series of clanking sounds as the locks are undone and the door opens to reveal Jasmine Fenton.

“Oh, hey there,” she gives a small smile, “I’m glad you two are here. Danny is upstairs in his room, we’re all pretty shaken up from what happened, having you two visit should help.”

“How is- how are you holding up?” Tucker asks as they move through the hallway into the living room, a place that’s both so familiar and yet alien, he half expects Danny to be leaning over the staircase inviting them upstairs to his room.

“It’s, I’ve been holding it together,” Jazz says, “I’ll probably be staying here at least until Dad’s ribs are better, luckily all my professors are pretty accommodating and will be letting me attend virtually until I can head back to college. I’m… really scared for my mom, but I trust that she’s getting the best care possible and that she’ll wake up soon.”

Jazz gestures towards the stairs, “Danny’s in his room, call me if you guys need anything. I was actually just about to head over to the Hospital, Dad should be getting discharged today, so we should be back in a few hours.”

With one last smile Jazz heads back the way they came and there’s the sound of the front door opening and closing.

“Should we really be doing this?” Tucker finally breaks the silence, glancing towards the staircase as if Danny will suddenly appear there.

“Honestly I don’t know, but it’s too late to go back now. If we leave Jazz will just ask Danny when she gets back and then we’ll be the assholes who left without saying anything.”

Damn, Tucker hates it when Sam uses logic like that.

“Yeah but it’s just, I don’t think we’ve had a full conversation with him in the past month. It feels wrong to just drop in now when he’s hurting like this.”

“Well it’s not like Dash or Paulina is going to just waltz by and offer to go comfort him,” Sam’s mouth twists into a grimmance, “and Valerie’s probably too busy investigating the attack to try and find the ghosts who did this.”

Tucker can’t argue with that, they really are the closest ones to Danny. Still, it feels wrong to walk up those steps and knock on Danny’s bedroom door like nothing in the past two years has happened.

There’s no immediate answer, but after a second series of knocks there’s the sound of bare feet on hardwood before the door opens slightly, just enough for Danny’s tired blue eyes to peek out.

“Hi,” Danny’s voice is hoarse, “uh, no offense but why are you two here?”

“We uh-,” Tucker shares a glance with Sam, “we wanted to check in on you. I know we aren’t all as close anymore but we wanted to at least see if you were ok in person and see if there was anything we could do.”

That sounded a lot better in his head, but Danny isn’t slamming the door on them, so there’s that. After a moment the door opens fully and he and Sam cautiously walk inside as Danny moves to lean against the far wall.

“I, thanks for coming over?” He seems to almost hug himself, looking anxiously around the room. “I don’t know if your parents put you up to this, or worse Jazz, but you guys don’t need to hang around out of some sense of obligation.”

“We came because we wanted to Danny!” Sam exclaims, “we’re still your friends and, and we care about you! This is obviously traumatizing and we want to help you-“

“You guys don’t understand!” Danny snarls at them. Apparently what Tucker had thought was anxiety was in fact anger.

“You think I’m some scared kid trying to come to terms with an unfortunate accident. Well I’m not!”

Danny’s eyes almost seem to glow in response to his heated words, which doesn’t make any sense. Humans eyes don’t glow, the only thing close to that that Tucker has seen happens when ghosts-

“It was my fault!”

With that last shout there’s a brilliant flash of white, and when Tucker can finally blink the spots out of his vision he finds he can’t quite comprehend what he sees before him.

“I hurt her! I was trying to stop that stupid ghost from hurting my Dad and I ended up almost killing my mom!”

Danny’s too long sweatpants and pullover have been replaced with a glowing hazmat suit, and what’s left standing before them is Phantom, the town’s own ghostly hero. The town’s very young, very dead hero.

“What?”

Sam sounds like she’s just been gut punched, and Tucker doesn’t feel much different.

Everyone in Amity Park knows that Phantom is one of the friendlier ghosts that now haunt them, even dealing with the rowdier ones that try to interfere with day to day human life.

But everyone also agrees that Phantom can be downright terrifying most of the time. The simple fact that he looks all of thirteen makes most residents uncomfortable at best.

Trying to understand that Danny and Phantom are one in the same is almost too much for him, but looking the ghost dead in the eyes now the similarities between the two are overwhelming.

He can see Danny in the way the ghost is hunched like he’s about to collapse onto himself, and he can see Phantom in how his stance is planted and ready to move in a moment's notice.

“It’s-“ and here Phantom's voice breaks, “it’s my fault.”

And with that soft admission the dam finally breaks, and Phantom crumbles to the floor, back heaving as great sobs wrack his body.

In that moment Tucker’s body seems to almost move on to own, moving almost in tandem with Sam to crouch down and envelop Danny in a tight hug.

“I’m sorry that happened,” Sam whispers into Danny’s hair, “I wish you could have told us when this happened so we could have helped. But we know now. We’ll help you however we can, and I’m sure your mom will be better in time.”

Sam sounds so sure of what she’s saying, Tucker can’t even bring himself to speak. Whatever happened to Danny, whatever he’s been doing these past two years, has changed him.

All Tucker can do is tighten his grip, a promise that he hopes he can keep.

[atwooozi]

Almost Perfect (Sebastian x Fem!Farmer) Chapter 10: The Flower Dance

Warnings: Slow burn, personal struggles, anxiety, depression, eventual smut

Summary: Angeline finds herself caught up in the chatter about the Flower Dance following the Egg Festival. Uncertain whether the event will bring excitement or anxiety, it marks her first dance in Pelican Town.

A/N: Surprise! I know it's not Thursday, but since the update just came out I figured I update too. I hope you all enjoy. Is this chapter too soon after the Egg Festival one? Part of me kind of thinks so, but also given how close the two events are in the season makes it harder to space out. That's at least the excuse that I'm giving myself.

READ ON AO3

Chapter 10: The Flower Dance

Spring 20

It seemed like it had only been a few days since the Egg Festival but Angeline found herself hearing constant chatter about the Flower Dance. It was either a day full of excitement or a day that should be outlawed depending on who you asked. Angeline wasn’t exactly sure which camp she was a part of since it would be her first Flower Dance. She couldn’t help but be a bit anxious about it. 

Right now, Angeline found herself sitting in front of Haley’s vanity with Sophia. Haley insisted that they do some makeup tests to see what would look good. Despite Angeline and Sophia not even participating in the dance. Angeline didn’t mind really. She enjoyed the primping with Haley and Sophia. She found herself doing less and less lately since taking over her Grandpa’s farm. It felt like a nice treat.

“I’m so annoyed that Lewis can’t get a dress for you in time.” Haley huffed as she got her tweezers out to clean up Angeline’s brows. 

Angeline winced as Haley plucked but tried to keep still. “I-It’s fine it’s not like I’m dancing anyway.” 

“That’s not the point.” Haley frowned. “It’s your first Flower Dance and now even if you wanted to dance you can’t.” Angeline could understand Haley’s point. She was okay with being on the sidelines and observing. She preferred it even.

Sophia nodded and hummed in agreement as she fixed her eyeliner. “You didn’t have anyone you were going to ask, right?” Sophia glanced Angeline’s way curiously.

Angeline hesitated a bit. Did she have anyone that she wanted to dance with? She swallowed thickly as Sebastian came to her mind. Out of all the people she could ask he would be the first to say no, so why did she think of him? Even at the saloon when Abigail jokingly offered he looked like he had more than just a “no” prepared.

“No, I don’t.” Angeline gripped at the jeans feeling slightly nervous because of her lie. “I’ll just hang out with you by the food, Sophia.” 

Sophia smiled. “Sounds like a plan to me.”    

“You really don’t have anyone that you would want to dance with?” Haley asked a bit skeptical of Angeline’s answer. Damn her, she hated how perceptive Haley was. Or maybe it was just that Angeline was so easy to read. 

Angeline shook her head. “No, I don’t know anyone well enough.” She reasoned. “It would be weird.” 

Haley studied Angeline’s face for a moment. “Yeah, I guess.” She went back to fixing Angeline’s brows. 

“What about Victor?” Sophia asked as she sat herself next to Haley. 

“Victor?” Haley furrowed her brows and frowned. “I thought maybe that guy next door.” 

“You mean Sam?” Angeline asked with a giggle. It seemed just like Haley to not know Sam’s name despite living next to him for years. 

“Yeah him.” Haley said. “He’s kinda cute, I guess.” 

“Sam is going with Penny.” Angeline explained with a smile. “He's really excited about it.”

 “Yeah, but I feel like Victor might be more Angeline’s type.” Sophia interjected. 

Was he? Angeline thought about it. Victor was very polite and seemed very kind and smart, but she didn’t know much about him besides those few things. 

She thought back to the guys she dated in the past and many of them seemed like Victor. Nice and all smiles at first, but often controlling and mean as more time went on. Not that Victor was like that. She couldn't imagine Victor being mad at anyone. “I don’t really know him that well.” 

“He’s really nice.” Sophia said with a smile. “I bet you if you asked he’d dance with you.” 

He would? Angeline felt conflicted with what Sophia said. Nice was well, nice, but she couldn’t shake the feelings she was having. What those feelings were exactly she didn’t know. 

“He seems boring.” Haley said. “Not as boring as the doctor, but like boring.”

Sophia shrugged. “Nice isn’t boring .” 

“What about the one that wears all black?” Haley asked. The description caused Angeline’s heart to flutter. 

“S-Sebastian?” Angeline cursed at herself for stuttering. She prayed to Yoba that she wasn’t blushing, she couldn’t take Haley’s questioning about the moody man. 

“Isn’t he dating Abigail?” Sophia asked and Angeline felt her stomach sink.

So those two were together? The thought of them being together wasn’t a bad thing. They seemed like they fit together easily. It made Angeline feel slightly nauseated at the thought. 

“Are they?” Haley asked as she handed Angeline a mirror to look at her work. They looked perfect. “I thought that she was… you know .” 

“What?” Sophia gave her friend a confused look which caused Haley to roll her eyes. 

“Into girls?” Haley said as she put some lipgloss on. 

“Maybe.” Sophia shrugged. “I don’t really know her that well.” 

“I-I’m gonna go.” Angeline stood up abruptly causing Haley and Sophia to jump slightly. 

“Later Angie.” Haley said with a pout. “Make sure you call me if you need a dress for the dance or something or if you need help with your hair!”

Angeline nodded and took her leave. She didn’t know why she felt the sudden urge to leave. Talking about Abigail and Sebastian made her stomach feel sick for whatever reason. She really didn’t want to cause a scene by throwing up on Haley’s carpet. She couldn’t live with that kind of embarrassment. 

“Are you okay, Angeline?” Angeline looked up from the ground and stopped when she saw Victor. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see him or anything. Given the conversation at Haley’s house she wasn’t looking forward to seeing anyone, especially this soon. 

“You look pale.” Victor frowned. “Do you want to stop inside for some water?” 

Angeline hesitated. She wanted to say no, but she also felt a bit wobbly. 

“I won’t keep you long.” Victor assured her. “Just some water and you can take your leave.” 

Angeline nodded reluctantly and followed him inside his home. Honestly, the place felt more like an estate with how large it was. What did Olivia do for work again? Angeline couldn’t exactly remember, but her house was surely impressive. 

“Why don’t you go sit in the library?” Victor said. “I’ll get you some water.” 

Angeline quietly made her way into the library and took a seat at a desk covered in books and papers. Before she had the chance to glance at them Victor had placed a glass of water in her hands. She gratefully took a sip and exhaled. She felt like her nausea had started to subside and her pulse regulated. “Thanks.” 

Victor nodded and took a seat across from her. “I was about to go on my afternoon walk when I saw you.” He explained as he rested his chin against his palm. “You looked like you saw a ghost.” 

Angeline nodded and gave a small laugh. The thought of herself looking so distraught over Abigail and Sebastian dating felt childish. 

“I was just a bit overwhelmed.” She muttered before taking another sip of water. 

Victor nodded and gave her a small smile. “Well you’re looking better now.” He seemed to relax a bit and ran his hand through his neat black hair. “You have some color back in your face.” 

Angeline took another sip of her water. Maybe Sophia was right about Victor. He could be her type. He was handsome and very nice. He even took time out of his schedule to give her water and sit with her. But…

Angeline stood up slowly and kept the glass in her hands. She didn’t want to put it on the desk in front of her. The documents looked important and she didn’t want to ruin the beautiful wood table top. “Thank you, Victor.” 

Victor stood up with Angeline and took the glass from her, their hands grazing each other gently. She felt nothing as they touched. Not that was a big sign of anything, but she felt that it told her what she needed to know  “It’s no problem at all. I’m happy you’re feeling better.” 

Angeline smiled gratefully at Victor. 

“I should get out of here. I didn’t mean to interrupt your walk.” 

“It’s a welcome interruption.” Victor said as he walked Angeline to the door. 

Angeline flushed slightly and gave a small smile before taking her leave. She felt that because of Sophia’s influence that she felt a bit more shy around Victor than she would have. It felt silly really. She hardly knew him so to get so nervous just because of someone else’s words made her feel ridiculous. 

At the same time, she felt that she hardly knew Sebastian. The fact that she was getting worked up over him made her feel just as dumb. Dumb or not the feelings she had towards him still persisted. 

She quickly made her way up the mountain path. She wasn’t even sure why she was heading this way. It would have made more sense for her to travel through Cindersnap Forest to her house from Haley’s. If she hadn’t run into Victor she probably would’ve passed out in front of Marnie’s house and scared Jas for life. Maybe there was some part of her that wanted to run into Sebastian? 

Angeline looked over towards the lake and she saw that Linus was there. Good. There was no sign of the other raven man that seemed to worm his way into her thoughts rather frequently lately. Especially since their talks at the lake. 

Angeline gave Linus a small wave and practically broke out into a sprint before she ran into anyone else. She was sure she probably looked insane to the mountain man running off like that but she didn't care.

Victor was a pleasant surprise, but she couldn’t imagine that seeing Sebastian right now. He hadn’t done anything directly to her, but she really didn’t need to almost faint in front of him either. 

Once she reached the farm Angeline felt her body relax. She didn’t realize that she had been so tense that whole time. She decided that in that moment that she would take some time to just take care of the farm. Perhaps all the socialization was wearing on her more than she realized. 

~*~

Spring 24

 Sebastian looked at himself in the mirror and was debating if he should crawl back into bed and pretend to be sick. He was sure that if he tried neither his mom, or Demetrius, or Maru, for that matter would buy it. It was worth a shot. Drowning himself in the lake sounded more enticing now that he actually saw himself in the powder blue suit. 

He had worn it for years and you could tell. The damn jacket barely fit him in the shoulders anymore. It was funny almost. When he was first forced into the suit he was 14 and it was too big. Now he felt that if he tried to breathe properly he might take out someone's eye. He contemplated purposely ripping the suit to see if that could get him out of the dance. Yet, before he could go through with his plans his mom was barging her way into his room. “Sebby, it’s time to go.” 

Robin stopped and smiled at her son. He frowned back at her and she laughed. “You look so handsome.” She said as she started to fix his hair. 

Sebastian flinched away from his mom’s touch. “I feel and look like a clown.” 

 Robin pursed her lips as she looked at Sebastian. “A handsome clown. Now come on, Maru and Demi are waiting I don’t want to be late.” 

Sebastian didn’t have it in him to argue. He decided to forgo the jacket and followed behind his mom, begrudgingly. He supposed that if he complied that maybe it would make the day go by faster and without much pain or at least he hoped.

 ~~~ At Cindersnap Forest~~~

Sebastian walked over to his friends as they stood near the buffet table. He could see the misery on both their faces. There could be some argument that Sam’s misery was from the dance and his allergies, but that didn’t matter much. He was still miserable all the same. He scanned the forest and saw that Penny was towards the outskirts. So much for walking to the dance together. Poor Sam.

“Don’t look so happy, Seb.” Abigail said as she drank her punch.

He rolled his eyes at her and leaned against a tree. “I just want to get this over with.” He sighed. 

Sam was about to say something but interrupted himself with an obnoxious sounding sneeze. “...Hey Sebastian.” His friend sniffled. 

Sebastian leaned away from Sam, hoping to get out of his line of fire. “Hey man, did you take some allergy medicine?” 

“Yes mom.” Sam groaned as he held a tissue to his nose. 

Sebastian chuckled to himself . He looked over as he watched more people trickle into the clearing. Almost everyone was there except the farmer it seemed. Sebastian hadn’t seen her in what felt like forever. After speaking at the outside the saloon last Friday it seemed like she just disappeared. Not that he was one to talk. He would constantly retreat into his dungeon for weeks at a time, but if he were being honest he missed their impromptu talks near the lake. Even if did lose precious hours of sleep later on replaying their conversations in his head. 

“Where’s Victor?” Sophia said as she made her way over to the food. She was right, Victor wasn’t here yet either. He was usually on time for everything.

Abigail looked around and frowned. “Yeah, he’s usually here by now. I mean, Olivia’s already here.” 

Sam opened his mouth to say something but ended up sneezing. He gave up trying to speak and just pointed towards the entrance of the clearing. Victor and the farmer were walking together. Talking with each other as they made their way over to the small group. 

Sebastian felt himself scowl as he looked at the scene before him. Since when did those two become so close? Did Victor get the idea to escort the farmer to the dance after hearing about Sam and Penny? They were that close that they were showing up to the dance together? What exactly happened between those two that made them so chummy? And why the fuck did he care so damn much? 

Before Sebastian could continue to work himself up the farmer had interrupted his thoughts. “You guys look nice.” She said holding back a giggle.

Sebastian felt himself grow annoyed with the girl. If circumstances were different he probably would be slightly amused. But right now he needed to hold back before he snapped at her. All his questions were gnawing at him. He wasn’t exactly sure why he was so upset but the thought of her being with Victor made the bile churn in his stomach.  

“Oh thanks.” Abigail said as she spoke for their group. “Nothing like putting on these itchy outfits and putting on a show for old people.” 

“Not just old people.” Sophia spoke up. “For all of us that don’t have dance partners, too.”

Angeline nodded and smiled at Abigail. “I’m excited to watch you guys.” 

“You can always take my place.” Abigail offered. Sebastian was about to protest but Victor interrupted him.  

“If you want to dance then I wouldn’t mind.” Victor offered the farmer. Fuck him. Sebastian wanted so badly for perfect Victor take his perfect self far far away from here. He couldn't even stand to hear his voice.  

Sophia nodded from behind Victor at the farmer, but Angeline held her hands up and shook her head. You know what? Fuck Sophia too. “N-no thanks. I really would rather watch.” 

At this point Sebastian was seething. He didn’t even realize how visibly upset he looked until Sam came over and asked him what was wrong. 

“I just hate this dance.” Sebastian mumbled. He felt so on edge and the worst part was he wasn’t even that sure as to why. He felt his hands twitch a bit. He needed a smoke. Just a few puffs and he'd be ready.

Just as he was about to step away from the party Lewis called over a megaphone for the dancers to come to the dance floor. He should have drowned himself in the lake.

As Sebastian lined up for the Yoba forsaken dance he looked over towards perfect Victor and his perfect little date, Angeline. He huffed and stuck his hands in his pants pockets, or at least tried to. Fucking annoying tight pants. He wished a button did pop off his ill-fitting suit and hit perfect Victor in his perfect eye. They wouldn't look so cute and perfect with Victor missing an eye. Sebastian sighed and looked towards Abigail who gave him a confused look. He must’ve seemed insane to her and Sam. He felt insane himself. Why did Victor and the farmer piss him off so much? He usually didn't mind Victor. He actually kinda liked him when he wasn’t so busy comparing himself to him. He even let him borrow a few Cave Saga books of his. 

Once the dancing part of the party was over Sebastian felt sick almost. He wanted to just leave. The constant thoughts of Victor and the farmer swirling in his head. Taking part in this awful dance just made everything feel vile. He didn’t think he could even muster up any energy for Sam and Abigail. He needed to leave. And so he did. 

~*~

Sebastian slammed the door shut to the basement. He stripped himself of his awful powder blue suit. The tightness of it all just intensified how awful he was feeling. Once he was down to his undershirt and boxers he lied down. His chest was heaving and his stomach continued to sour. He looked at his hands and they were shaking. He balled his hands into fists and slammed them down against his bed in frustration.

Why was he acting like this? Why couldn’t he just be normal? He was laying in his dark cold basement while other people were out enjoying the beautiful spring weather. Why couldn’t he be like them? 

Why couldn’t he be like Victor? He groaned and turned in his bed on to his side. Thinking of Victor made his stomach just ache more if that were possible. Victor was just so kind and polite. He never seemed to overstep or push people too far. He was able to weasel his way in with his friends. Victor seemingly was able to befriend the farmer so much so that they were attending an event together. What did Victor have that Sebastian didn’t? 

Sebastian shifted on to his back and ran his hands through his hair. He gave out a mirthless chuckle. 

“Everything…” Sebastian said quietly. Victor had everything that he didn’t. He was everything that Sebastian wasn’t. 

Sebastian sat up slowly and dug through his jacket pocket. He found his pack of cigarettes and his lighter and lit one. He needed to take the edge off desperately. 

He looked at the burning ash at the end of his cigarette and took a drag. His head was swimming.  

“Fuck this place.”

[snclovveerr]

In my restless dreams I see that town

WARNING: Suicide,bullying, self harm, death

All y/n wanted to do was be friends with Colby but he never seemed too like her..

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

I never knew why Colby hated me so much but it hurt.

I knew today was going to be cold, I put on my flared jeans, white under top, nirvana shirt, and my favourite green woolen jumper.

I put on my perfume and started to cry from the pain of the mist on my wrist, why did I do this, was it too feel something? I don’t know but it helped.

What did I do so wrong to others? I hate this life.

I cried again.. I always cry in the mornings I hate looking at myself. It hurts so much to do such simple things. I wish I could just be a normal person.

I wiped my tears with my sleeve and started packing my bag.

TIME SKIP AT SCHOOL ☆

“Ew” Colby pointed to y/n

I felt hurt but this was a normal thing by now.. as I was putting my bag into my locker I grabbed my iPod and earbuds.

“Man I don’t know why you hate her so much she hasn’t done anything to you just leave it” Sam sighed

“I hate her because she is fucking ugly and disgusting, honestly I hope she dies no one even likes her” Colby laughed

I felt tears sting my eyes but I choked it back, I put my earbuds in and tuned out not wanting to hear his bullshit

As I was walking to first period I saw Colby and his friends out front the door I tried to ignore them but.

“god you’re so fucking disgusting just leave this school and don’t come back” Colby laughed as he put his foot out

I tripped and layed their hopelessly. What did I do wrong?..

Colby grabbed my books and ripped them

I couldn’t move I couldn’t do anything I just sat and watched.

I got up and ran to the bathroom.

Why the fuck does he treat me so bad what did I do wrong can I do anything to improve myself? Why is he so mean?? Thoughts ran through my head constantly as tears started rolling down my face.

I sat in the bathroom crying trying to think of solutions of how he would like me but nothing came to mind.but one thing did, it seemed too dramatic but it seemed like I couldn’t do anything else.

I grabbed my blade out from my pocket and pulled my sleeve up.

I cried looking at the blood running down my arm..

I can feel something, it’s almost as if I deserve this, I was clean for months but that was when Colby left for a trip, but everything is coming back now, I’m scared to go to school or even socialise with people, I can’t focus on work because he always takes my stuff and rips it.

I hear someone walk in the bathroom I decide to stay quiet

“I don’t understand why Colby does that shit to her like she seems so sweet??” A soft voice from outside said

“Apparently she liked him and he hates her, no one knows why though it’s stupid if he hates her for no reason” a girl said

I decided to walk out the stall even though they were defending me I didn’t want to hear about him right now.

While I was walking through the hallway it felt like eyes were on me everywhere I turned, did I do something wrong?

It’s almost the end of the year so I decided to just go home.

»»————> that night <————««

I had just woke up it was 3:00? Fuck I slept late

I grabbed my computer and started scrolling on twitter

What did Isla do wrong?-Lucy

She’s disgusting she is just like ugh I don’t even know why I hate her so much she just annoys me so much her presence pisses me off- Colby

Of course people were talking about me..

I did see people defending me in the replies but it didn’t feel like enough, Colby didn’t care and never did..

Everytime I had friends he would turn them against me no matter what I did to try and make them stay

I just want to be liked

I’ve had enough I don’t want to do this anymore I can’t

As I grabbed my paper from underneath my desk I stated to write

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ──���✧

In my restless dreams,

I see that town.

Silent Hill.

You promised you'd take me

there again someday.

But you never did.

Well I'm alone there now...

In our 'special place'...

Waiting for you.

Waiting for you to

come to see me.

But you never do.

And so I wait, wrapped in my

cocoon of pain and loneliness.

I wish I could change

that, but I can't.

I feel so pathetic and ugly

laying here, waiting for you...

Every day I stare up at the cracks

in the ceiling and all I can think

about is how unfair it all is...

I think you know what I mean...

Even so, I'm glad to be coming

home. I've missed you terribly.

But I'm afraid Colby

I'm afraid you don't really

want me to come home.

Whenever you come see me,

I can tell how hard it is on you...

I don't know if you

hate me or pity me...

Or maybe I just disgust you...

I'm sorry about that.

That's why I understand

if you do hate me.

But I want you to

know this, Colby.

I'll always love you.

Even though our life together had

to end like this, I still wouldn't

trade it for the world. We had

some wonderful years together.

I know you never liked me but I have had a crush on you for years, no matter how you treated me I always admired you

Well this letter had gone on

too long so I'll say goodbye.

That means that as you read

this, I'm already dead.

-Y/N

[pupyr0arz]

Sam/Dean, precanon. Written in 20 minutes and not edited so.

“The hell is that?” Dean says with a mocking raise of his eyebrows. He’s come in from the yard, sweaty and boyish, swagger in his step and a shine to his eye. Dad complimented his shooting yesterday, and it’s still lifting his heels as the sun dips its toes over the horizon line. 

Sam hates it quietly, Dean with his loose smiles and looser hips. He’s in that awkward stage where even his fingers seem ill-fitting, stumbling around Dean as his older brother walks in lock-step rhythm with the world.

“Paper cranes.” He says. He sets it down on the table. It’s small and dainty and only a little bit lopsided from where he creased the wrong measurements the first time.

���Huh,” Dean says, pausing to peer at it. “What for?”

“School.” Sam says, and Dean lets out a disinterested noise, straightening to walk into the kitchen.  “I have to fold ten, next week we’ll put them all together and have a hundred.”

“What’s the point of having a hundred paper birds?” Dean asks, retrieving a dark glass bottle of beer from the fridge. Dad wouldn’t be happy to see him dipping into it on his own, but Dad isn’t happy about a lot of things he lets happen. Sam knows, the unconscious pact to keep this away from Dad obeyed by both, even when it’s irritating. He’d scold Dean if Dean would even pretend to listen.

Instead, he’s stuck keeping his eyes resolutely on the bright yellow construction paper and away from Dean’s fingers wrapping around the neck of the bottle. 

Steady, thick, strong fingers, drawing his gun steady, wiping Sam’s cheek, tapping a rhythm on the Impala’s seats, soothing, irritating, strong older brother—

“Well,” Sam says, drawing himself up. “There’s a legend about a wish being granted if you make a thousand. Next month they’ll have a thousand.”

Dean frowns over the rim of his bottle. “A legend legend or qwack bullshit? Cause wishes never come free, Sammy, and I don’t know anything that's pleased enough with paper to grant anyone much of anything at all.”

Sam shrugs his shoulders and starts making his creases. “I didn’t find anything substantial to be worried about. I even borrowed some holy water, and all of the teachers are clear.”

Dean nods approvingly. “Good job, baby brother.” He praises, tapping him upside the head as he passes by. Sam frowns and rubs his head like it hurt at all, which it didn’t really, it just sent sharp sparks of awareness down his spine. “Wouldn’t want you ending up as a John of a case on my watch, especially not for some school project.” He flops onto the flea bitten couch, kicking his legs up.

Sam rolls his eyes as hard as he can manage at Dean, for lack of a better outlet for the frustration building in his chest. Lately he’s been so on edge around him, every sideways glance and wide smile sending something rising that he doesn’t know how to put back down. Even sparring doesn’t work, this strange anger not burning away as simply as their usual squabbles do.

“What, no girlfriend this afternoon?” Sam asks snidely, rudely lashing out. It’s mismatched aggression to Dean’s lazy attitude, and his eyes snap towards Sam, narrowing. There’s an immediate impulse to backpedal, but Sam glares back instead. It’s Dean’s fault he feels so cooped up in this room.

“Me and Dad are going to go on the trail soon.” Dean says back, emphasizing the lack of input Sam has been allowed this time. It’s his first tactic, rubbing Sam’s nose in the dirt about how half the time he’s barely allowed to wait in the car while Dean is out in the thick of it with Dad. It hurts even though Sam  should love staying in the car where he’s warm and safe and doesn’t have to deal with Dad or monsters, and if only incenses Sam more with these opposite feelings.

Something something something.

“I’m going to wish that you’ll always love me.”

“I do. Dummy.” Dean says after a long minute, with all the casualness in the world like he hadn’t just set that down on the table between the two of them. ‘I love you’s hadn't been a thing since Sam was ten. He ruffles Sam’s hair, and high-tails it to the back porch.

Leaving Sam, the paper crane, and a hot, stifling feeling growing in his chest, crushing his ribs from the inside out.

[storiesofsvu]

Alright. It’s Thursday let’s see how tonight goes…

Weird opening that’s for sure

That blue suit on mechad is fucking gorgeous

Wtf is happening?!!!!?? Is this gonna be one of those twisty episodes? We’re only halfway through…

YES! SAM! Give her more screen time PLEASE

The like, main thing here would be finding the dancer, yes?

The lawyers have a good point with this recording, but it’s all speculation at this point…

I KNOW I know this defence attorney from somewhere… hold pls while I try to figure it out lol

Goddammit it’s not on imdb yet…

Okay so defence found the witness and honestly that just made everything way more complicated. YES, he killed the guy in (self) defence/trying to help/save the girl, BUT he’s still a racist pos who strangled the guy for three minutes after he stopped breathing. Also what was going on with the vic on the train? Cause he defs seemed out of it…

Ohhkay, an asthma attack, that makes sense. Reaching for the inhaler. Got it

Okay, y’all I’m sold on the new DA guy who came from scandal.

What is it with cop shows having very racist/sexist people/witnesses and choosing to send in their poc/women to figure details out.

OOHHH WE LOVE A GOOD UC STORYLINE! IS THIS GONNA BE A MULTI EP ARC?! A CROSSOVER?! (I know im clowning over a crossover, you don’t need to tell me)

That was a really good ep tbh.

*

Okay we all know I’m ignoring TO.

If anyone has any good ideas for a relatively affordable vacation over July/august that wouldn’t be too fucking hot, pls lmk.

*

Svu time!

Woof talk about a dark open

Also… it’s giving little mermaid…. The whole hazy can’t see her but she’s rescuing him and keeping him safe??

…pants around the ankles? Okay wait so something else happened in there?

WHERE! IS! VELASCO!

FFS

“EVERYONE IS ON MANDATORY OT” REALLY?! I REPEAT WHAT I JUST SAID!!

If they’re gonna be fucking rotating cast members, they should be rotating the ones who aren’t officially part of the squad. Curry was on last week, she should be gone this week.

Oh it was a man in the little mermaid vibes, my bad lol

….at least bruno’s here..

Okay… this girl’s apartment layout is the same as olivia’s (old?) one? (the one where noah was a toddler and up on the counter stealing cookies..) they really all about reusing sets aren’t they? Yet they make olivia’s apt completely different each ep…

Also I lowkey love all the fairy lights and art she’s got up, she’s made this place super cozy and calming and I dig it. Like I legit want that little tree with the fairy lights she has… catch me on amazon later.

Okay but like, if you were beat that bad and fighting for your life, there’s definitely a chance of hallucinating someone..

Bruno can yell at me any day…. Just sayin.

Why cant the girl with agoraphobia just fucking zoom/face time into the trial??? Like, they did that shit for younger witnesses/victims, for people already in prison/stuck in hospitals and that was all BEFORE covid…. I get that this is some kind of progress for her/olivia and more building for liv but it’s stupid…

Shout out to liv for making her office a complete safe space with the blinds drawn and candles and shit. Cute.

Okay that was an okay episode, we’re getting there slowly. I just wish we would go back to court for once. I miss my defence attorneys…

*

Lowkey hate this flashback, ngl.

 Okay…I NEED to know how old joe stabler is supposed to be. Cause the actor’s age isn’t listed on wiki/imdb, but there’s a couple pages/articles that say he’s super late 40’s, early 50’s but he could pass for late 30’s so im SO confused lol.

Ahh… okay. Glad the drugs are his and not eli’s lol

Ugh I love bell so fucking much

I really hope Bobby’s leave was written in cause the actor had another offer that he wanted to take and not one that screwed him over.

Yaaasss cragen with the distraction save!

“I thought it worked…” bruh it sure did lol

God I miss cragen’s sass and quips. Im super glad he’s open to guest star

Bell being a complete bad ass like always. Yaaas queen

Speaking of bad ass women… nicely done chief…

Oh fuck….

Okay, well that was a decent night of l&o tonight!

[mike-haters-dni]

‘SENT TO THE GULAG’ IS KILLING ME

okay yes hop has probably atoned for his sins by now and his monologue at rock bottom was really good but it still pisses me off sometimes idkk. im just waiting for the payoff of seeing him actually DO better this time😭

and exactly! the angst in s2 is like- messy- but that’s good television! it gave us a top 5 millie preformance how can i even be mad

men in stranger things are weird sometimes cuz you have to overlook their CRIMES, (i’ll be like “omg jancy!” then i REMEMBER…) it’s weird when a character is randomly at their worst for a scene or a season just to meet the story’s requirements

jopper can scream at each other all sam and diane for nostalgia in s3 but when you look at it in a larger context it’s kinda dicey. like how weird of hop to doubt her when he already knows to trust her instincts.

and also it’s just like- nobody drags him enough for me! he’s so loved- male characters can do ANYTHING kinda- so i have to get him. out of principle. and i see that hopper (and like david harbour) is too important to kill off in the show and that him and el’s relationship isn’t all lows, not even in s2. i think i’m just bitter that 1. st tiktok treats el like she was SO unreasonable in that scene>:( (i need to stop going there it makes me want to rant on tumblr) and 2. how much time was devoted to bringing him back last season like my cali boys were so neglected. :( (after 2 failed prison escape attempts i was like (why i am still looking at this insanely bruised man) so-

but yeah i need to stop typing now cause i have a million thoughts in my head about hopper and the way that he is. and the way the show treats him. (how funny is it that even the viewers can have a complicated relationship with him. maybe i’m not giving the writers enough credit in that regard)

: )

-No like, I agree 100%. We forgive but we never forget

-I have a hard time even being really mad at Jonathan for the Incident cuz like, that was such a weird ooc moment that was clearly just so the plot would happen. Like he got possessed by the spirit of the writers to do that shit. And like I can't even be mad at the writers either because like, the plot they were servicing is really fucking good? I might be the only person in the world who thinks this but I think this show is phenomenally written esp from a plot structure perspective. Near perfectly even. Like this show single-handedly instilled a sense of how to do super satisfying setup and payoff, and how to have every scene push multiple things forward, and how everything seen on screen needs to be relevant to as much as possible. Its so tightly written that its like...yeah Jonathan had to do that shit. It allowed like 3 perfectly intersecting plotlines to play out. There was no other option. And like there probably was and maybe I'm coping or whatever but like...idk it's perfect to me :) But still we forgive but we never forget. And we only forgive after they display a marked change in behavior. And we still never forget <3 (side note: remember when El dumped him and Mike ((and Lucas)) went full andrew tate for a second? That's the one thing he's ((they've)) actually ever done wrong lmaooo ((tbf they were also 13 so like)))

-Who tf is saying she was being unreasonable??? child???? traumatized??? isolated in a tiny cabin for a year?????? With Hopper?????? A cop????????? HellO?????????? Bro ppl HATE her bro this needs to stop

-I think the biggest problem with the Russia plotline is just that it's not fun? Watching Hopper get tortured in a labor camp is not fun? I came here for 80s vibes, friendship and supernatural shit and it only delivers that whenever Joyce and Murray are onscreen (who are really fantastic together tho) and once the monster finally shows up way too late into the proceedings. There should have been inklings of monster throughout to add some intrigue and let us know that this was all going to have a point that tied into the plot of Stranger Things the 80s Monster Show. But alas.

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Stick Season (12/14)

Summary: After Finn dies, Kurt leaves everything he knows behind without a trace. His hometown, his family, his boyfriend. When his dad has a medical scare, he returns to Lima, one year after breaking Blaine’s heart with no explanation.

A non-chronological series of one shots and drabbles set in this universe. Based off the Stick Season album by Noah Kahan

Tropes/Genres: Angst, Reconciliation, Grief, Alcoholism, Mentions of Major Character Death, Mental Health

Track 8. Orange Juice // Day 12: Us Someday

Words: 1331

The party is notably not in full swing by the time Kurt arrives. The only people hanging around are a few guys Kurt assumes are Sam’s coworkers, some friendly acquaintances from high school, and Sam and Blaine themselves. It’s definitely gone slower, which is why Blaine sent his invitation out so late in the first place. 

Sam is the first one to greet Kurt, pulling him in for a great big bear hug all too similar to the ones Finn used to give. His heart clenches, but it is nice to be held by someone who genuinely cares about him. He shouldn’t. After all, he’s the one who left his best friend high and dry.

“You want something to drink?” Sam offers innocently. 

A flare of uneasiness passes through Kurt. God, yes, he thinks. I’m at my ex’s house surrounded by drunk twenty-somethings. They’re playing country music through the speakers. He’s never wanted to drink more.

Like a beacon in the night, a familiar voice from behind Sam guides Kurt out of his worries. “There’s orange juice in the kitchen,” Blaine says, and Kurt’s head snaps to meet his honey-golden gaze. “It’s yours if you want it. I’m… we’re just glad you could make it, you know.”

Sam looks between the two of them, sensing the tension that was absent a moment ago. He ducks his head and bows out without another word, giving Kurt and Blaine some privacy. 

“It’s kind of loud in here,” Blaine points out after several moments go by with the two of them standing with their hands awkwardly tucked in their pockets, mirror images of uncertainty. Kurt understands what Blaine really means by that.

“Is that old porch swing still sturdy enough to hold two people?”

Blaine smiles, illuminating the darkness shrouding them. “I’ll go get my coat.”

He returns a few moments later with the promised orange juice in one hand and a scarf in the other. “You’ll get cold,” he says as they step outside. “I remember how much you loved your scarves.”

Kurt ducks his head, heat rushing to his cheeks as they sit on the rickety bench swing. “I had to. You loved leaving marks on my neck.”

His ears burn under Blaine’s gaze, eyes moving from Kurt’s neck back up to his eyes. “Yeah,” he admits. “Still do.”

He pushes the drink into Kurt’s hands and reaches behind his head to tenderly wrap the long brown scarf around his neck. 

Damn Blaine for being so thoughtful, so caring, after Kurt’s done everything but. Why can’t he be easier to not love?

It’s too good to be true—missing Blaine for the year he spent trying to find the pieces of himself he’d lost can’t be without consequence. The other shoe has got to drop sometime, and Kurt rather it be sooner than later. “Why… Why are you being so nice to me?”

“I’m not. I just love you.”

His words strike Kurt right in his heart, sending a wave of tears to his eyes. He lifts a hand to the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes. “I—you can’t just say that, Blaine.”

“Why not?”

“Because I did something bad,” he says, voice shaking like a leaf in the wind. 

“That doesn’t make you a bad person.”

“Yes it does!” He finally snaps. “I left, Blaine. Without a word. I left my aging father, my grieving step-mother. I left you. We talked about getting married—seeing that elderly lesbian couple we saw at Breadstix and I said That’ll be us someday. I broke every promise I ever made about never saying goodbye to you. You should hate me.”

“You don’t think I tried?” Blaine replies, his rising volume obstructed by a crack in his voice. “God, yes, Kurt, there were times when I was so upset and hurt and fucking… angry about you leaving. I couldn’t get out of bed for days in the beginning, I was so depressed. It felt like losing a limb, and every time I was reminded of you I swear I’d get phantom pains. But through it all, I never stopped loving you. I don’t hate you. Not because I’m not hurt, but because I can’t. I don’t think I’m built to not love you.”

Kurt feels like he was designed in a lab just to hurt Blaine. 

“That’s… God, Blaine that’s so fucked, though, isn’t it? You should only accept the kind of love that you deserve.”

“And you should recognize that you deserve it, and that whether or not you agree, it’s mine to give.” Kurt sucks in a breath. “If… if you don’t feel the same way anymore, that’s one thing—”

“I never said that,” Kurt quickly corrects him. 

It’s silent for a long while. It would be too long if it were with anyone else.

“I’ve just been waiting for you to come home for so long,” Blaine begins again, “that I never thought to ask why you’d gone.”

Kurt searches the crisp air around him, scanning the darkened landscape with his eyes as if he might find the right words hidden in the night. 

When Finn died, everything shifted, and Kurt felt like he’d been sent to a parallel universe. He fought off bouts of vertigo, induced by every flat surface feeling as if it were angled at forty-five degrees. Oxygen became thick and soupy, and with every breath he could feel it sticking to his lungs, making it harder and harder to breathe. 

One morning, his brother was alive, and the next he wasn’t. Without ostentation, without reverence, without rhyme or reason.

Lima changed afterwards, too, every nook and cranny of the town tarnished by the empty spaces where his brother once stood. Hell, the entire world changed, and nobody found it the least bit strange that everyone just went ahead and carried on as if it hadn’t stopped spinning on its axis.

“Does it even matter why?” Kurt pleads. He could sit here for hours upon hours and try to begin to explain to Blaine all his reasons, but there are some things you just can’t put into words.

“Yes,” Blaine says evenly. “I… You leaving didn’t hurt me because I thought you didn’t love me. It hurt because I know that you did—and hope you still do—but didn’t trust me enough to share the burden of your grief with me.”

“It’s my hill to climb alone,” Kurt says.

“Why?”

“Because it’s my fault.”

“Kurt—”

“I was supposed to be his designated driver that night.” If a year ago, he’d filled his cup with orange juice instead of alcohol, who knows how different things might be today. “But I was nervous about some stupid fucking final exam I had that Monday. And you know Finn; he always had to be the life of the party, the leader, the carefree Quarterback trying to make everyone happy. So he told me not to worry about it and poured me a drink. And so I drank… If I had just told him no—stayed sober like I was supposed to, he never would have driven, who knows what—”

“Kurt…” A wave of warmth washes over Kurt and he looks down to where Blaine has placed a hand on his thigh. “You didn’t kill Finn.”

“I couldn’t save him, either.”

The words hang in the air for an eternity, suspended in taught silence. 

“I should go,” Kurt finally says softly. He places the bottle of juice in the empty space where he sat and starts towards his car.

“Kurt,” Blaine cries out after him, and this time, he stops. He turns around, unwraps the scarf from his neck, and hands it back to Blaine, who looks like he’s been punched in the gut. 

“Thanks.” For what, he isn’t certain. Maybe for the invitation to the party, or the juice, or the scarf.

Maybe for the privilege of having met Blaine, who has a heart so big he truly believes he could love the guilt out of him.