#i’m really trying to. idk. getting out of my writer’s block 💔

[loserboyfriendrjl]

“you’re beautiful,” sirius whispered, tucking a loose curl behind remus’ ear.

he huffed a laugh, bringing his legs to his chest.

he knew he wasn’t. his nose was too big for his face, and so were his mouth and eyes. his ears, too. his eyebrows were too thick, and there was a certain sadness to his eyes that he could not quite place. his face looked wrong, in a way, and he shied away from his mother whenever she called him handsome.

“thank you,” remus said, because that was what he was told to do when complimented. nod and thank, even though he knew it was a beautiful, beautiful lie.

“i mean it.” sirius cupped his face, warm brown eyes melting into metallic cold. his cigarette hung loosely between his fingers, but he didn’t seem to mind, ash falling on the floor. “you’re so fucking beautiful, remus.”

said sirius, with beautiful, raven curls and fair skin, plump lips, hooded eyes and long eyelashes. said sirius, with high cheekbones and long fingers, straight nose, a devil-like grin, and an elegance of royalty.

said sirius, to whom referring as beautiful was an understatement.

“you are, too,” remus smiled, ignoring the weird feeling in his stomach, pressing a chaste kiss to sirius’ lips.

[everywhereallofthetime]

I don’t know/remember off-hand how many followers I (may still) have here, - I didn’t bother/think to look before I began composing this post, - and idk if anyone has truly cared/missed me, - I never really had many notes on any given chapter, - but I’m, unfortunately, breaking my promise. 💔 I am so incredibly sorry; at this time I don’t believe I will ever finish “Some Girl”. In fact, I will be deleting it from this blog. Well, turning every chapter to private, which is nearly the same thing. I honestly don’t know if “private-ing” things blocks them from my already followers sight or what.

Under the circumstances, ofc, you can absolutely unfollow me if you choose to, but please allow me to first tell you where my head is/has been...

You see, I had a friend who was my beta reader and someone I could bounce my thoughts off of for SG, and then we had a messy, terrible falling out. Her fingers are all over little bits of this story, mainly in the later chapters, and honestly, it pretty much spoiled things for me. 😔 I still go back and read it occasionally and believe it was/is very good writing up to where it went on hiatus, but I started feeling different about how it seemed to be progressing. I was being influenced to write Shawn differently than I had been and it was messing with me, throwing everything off. I never should have allowed that. And after the friendship ended and the dust settled, I thought maybe I could get my head back on straight and continue, return it to what I had always envisioned it to be, but I think it was just… too late.

Idek if any of the previous paragraph makes a drop of sense, but that’s the best way I know how to describe things.

I even thought maybe I could do a partial rewrite, adjust some things, even in early chapters, but just the thought of such an undertaking is overwhelming. I’m not saying it won’t eventually happen, but I know better now than to make any promises.

Aside from that, I hit such a horrible wall with my writing, period. If you follow me over at my main Shawn blog and have read any of the stories on my master list, you may know that I haven’t posted a new story for a long, long time.

I was negatively affected by Shawn canceling tour, even though I understand/understood and accept(ed) that was what he needed to do, but it put me in a poor mindset for quite a while. I was supposed to be seeing him the very next night after the initial postponement announcement, as well as three other shows, including a M&G. It was a devastating blow. It took me a while to pull myself out of my upset/depression. That’s when the block started to develop. I know my happiness should not be dependent on Shawn, and it’s not, not really, but I had been looking forward to an amazing summer, for months, and suddenly there was no longer anything to be excited for.

There’s a lot more I could go into here, but I try to never burden anyone with my problems/issues. (Even though I probably should let people help me once in a while. It’s easy for me to be the person people come to when shit is rough, but difficult for me to go “crying” to others when shit is rough.)

I’ve been trying very hard to reclaim my writing mojo, because I do still absolutely adore and love Shawn, and I love writing him, and truly, I always seem to be jotting things down, even while I was so severely blocked. Maybe those little notes/ideas will eventually develop into something. Who knows?

I am feeling more stirrings than I have in a while, so silver lining? Maybe it’s because Shawn himself seems to be in such a better place and he has returned to being more active and interactive, and we know new music is coming “soon”, and that’s been so uplifting and encouraging. When he’s happy, I’m happy, you know?

(I’m sure many of the writers that write Shawn will be popping up again in the next few months.)

I still have a number of requests sitting in my ask box. Goodness knows if any of the requesters even remember requesting from me; it’s been so long. I’m slowly, tentatively trying to get back to those.

Okay, my lovies. If you read through this entire post, thank you. I appreciate you. ❤️ I hope you can forgive me.

[staysuki]

Ash I don’t think some of my asks are coming through 😭. Like I sent two a few days ago but I still haven’t seen a response lol. Does this happen often? Is anyone else having this problem? I feel stupid if I send them again and in reality you’ve already seen it pfft.

Omg your getting so many asks I’m so happy for you rn!!! The hype is real. People are really throwing in their thoughts and feeling now, we’re definitely getting the ball rolling to you being tumble famous✨. Not to mention how fun it is to come up with conclusions wrong or right. It’s almost like we’re a jury panel trying to figure out who is guilty. I’m also glad to see you’ve got your mojo back, I know your were procrastinating a bit there at one point. Even so, you must have a lot of energy to keep birthing these fics haha. When I write I have so many crazy ideas, plot hooks and so forth but when I start writing I just get stuck at one point and give up🧍‍♀️.I always get writers block because of my perfectionist heart 💔. In school I was always good at creative writing, once I even got 97 percent on one of my best written pieces but now it feels like a chore for me to create new ones, school ruined it for me I think because I was made to do it. I envy you and your genius, you really are brilliant and I guarantee everyone here agrees 🥰♥️.

Also in 🍕’s ask not that long ago, where they asking me how I’m doing??? I wasn’t sure if it was aimed at me or you haha. Pizza is cute~

~ lovegame anon

what 😭 no, your asks are definitely not going through

i've seen other anons have the same problem before so they usually just resend the ask, dw about thinking it might be doubled! i'd rather have duplicates than not get your asks at all :,)))

AND YES so many asks, maybe that's why it's lagging??? idk, i definitely know some other users who get a lot more asks and theirs seem alright idk 😭 maybe it's just my tumblr? or your tumblr?? ever since the new mobile updates, i've been getting lots of glitches and bugs lately (like the photo issue and the readmore issue)

tumblr famous pLS. i could never. maybe only in stray kids fic tumblr but idk 🤔🤧 i like being here at the back~

thank u for always enjoying my crazy ass messy fics. i swear the next ones won't be as heavy anymore JHSHWJSHE I SWEAR. I PROMISE. I CAN'T SAY IT'LL BE FULFILLED BUT I WILL TRY TO WRITE LIGHTER ONES. i mean, the jeongin smau was really really fluffy tho so i'm just balancing it out 🤷‍♂️. ehaloj is like the neutral fic lmao, it's just slice of life.

but yeah, i've always loved writing ever since i was a kid, sometimes i get burnt out when writing the written chapters so i'm happy that SMAUs are a thing because i can just pump out content without having to like, write tons of paragraphs. and jgejshwjshss the time i was procrastinating was when i was getting ready to fly back to the PH so it was hectic 🤧🙈 got lots of time now though~ hence the new fic hehe BE EXCITED FOR IT. IT'S GONNA BE GOOD, join the fic name event (it's anonymous) if you haven't already!!

and i think that was for you uwu

[choerrypuffs]

the monsters and villian numero uno (no spoilers in case people havent read it and if u havent... go read it??) just knew jeno and yn would be cute 😩😩😩

and don't worry about a late response!!! it's okay to be busy and have a life outside of tumblr <3

and i wasn't worried abt gatekeeping? since you're so nice and sweet i know you don't care as long as people credit inspiration from you. more so that people would get on me for plagiarizing but i swear im not HELP.

i did decide to write a demigod fic for main!!!! it's gonna be taeyong since there is a criminally small amount of fics for him, and i'm really excited for it. i have... 3k done i think?

i'm writing on a sideblog bc i want to get a more interactive following, if i'm being honest </3 i've been here 2 years and i feel very... idk... just unwanted? on my blog sometimes, so i'm hoping the new blog helps with that. i don't really care if people figure out it's me running it (which i'm sure people will if they've seen the masterlist for the series and this ask) (and i did also tag you in the renjun fic as you inspired my pre-fic layout, so if you see a mention!!! that's me hi), but i used an alias to feel like a fresh start. i'm still going to write on seoulbinz whenever i can though!

i used music, and my writers block is thankfully mostly gone now!

i posted my first two fics in my series (renjun and jeno!), and i started an enhypen 02 line series on that blog as well. i think i'll only post longer form works there and keep this blog shorter/reaction style? i'm still figuring it out !!

im gonna write a demigod series for 127 i think!!! just wanted to update u on my last ask LMAO i'm making banners and summaries for all 9 fics (sorry winwin ily still. u will cameo)

FDJKDSKL it's ok if you say a spoiler!! i was answering asks about it a couple of days after it was posted so everyone has probably been spoiled already 🤧

honestly if people just asked me first before doing it, i’d more than likely say yes but they always just post first or then only admit to it when i confront them about it 😭 i don't think people would think you're plagiarizing, my love!! there's a difference between an original story/series that is the same au vs a story/series that is very obviously a ripoff of another 💀

ahhh good luck on your series!! 127 is so many people 🥴 i respect your drive 🧎‍♀️ i’m in the middle of sorting out some more demigods content as well and i’m somehow spiraling into 10k fic territory and i am desperately trying to make my way out of it 😭 JDFKSKL rippp to poor winwin 😔 gone but never forgotten 💔

i completely understand wanting to start fresh!! making a new blog is always super fun bc you get to choose a whole new brand and aesthetic 😩 i’m sorry you feel unwanted, my love :((( interaction always varies from blog to blog but as long as you’re still having fun writing, don’t let it bother you too much! 💞 i wish you well on your sideblog!! 

omg i’m glad your writer’s block has been cured! it’s great that you have many ideas, my love!!! write whatever makes you happy 🥰