#i’m memeing yes but also fuck those medium tires

[klickklackwack]

my spirit animal today is george russell after the race in f1tv interview talking about difference between medium and hard tires.

”it’s black magic”

”even the people who make the tires do not understand the tires”

”20 laps we have car that could fight for a victory and another 20 a car that should’ve not been in the points”

”only difference is the tires”

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

sometime in this last week, or this week coming, my blog has turned/turns 10. god. a decade old. a whole ass chunk of my life i’ve spent on this hellsite. when i began on here, i was a kid. a lost, lonely, depressed and anxious 15/16 year old kid. a kid scared of her future. a kid confused about her future. what to do for uni. to change schools or not??? to do drama/acting at uni or english/philosophy or to move 8hrs away to another regional uni to “escape” her “washed up, dead end hometown” that was so typical of all the pop-punk music that she was listening to at the time.

she was a tad overdramatic, loud, “funny” (as described by her school friends) and terribly forgetful in regards to homework and school assignments. she was angry at the world, most especially the catholic school she was fucking sick and tired of attending. but she was convinced that since she was the so-called “funny girl”, that she simply couldn’t be depressed or anxious. she believed herself unloveable because she didn’t look like a weird mixture of hayley williams and emo-pop queen lights. but now, i no longer believe that i have to look like the women that i looked up to in the ~emo scene~. fuck beauty standards. i am loveable.

in the years since joining tumblr, i’ve managed to get through business college, my undergrad degree and, well, failed out of postgrad due to obvious burnout and health issues amongst other things. although i’ve lost many friends irl and many followers/mutuals online on here. for those who’ve stuck around to see me get through all of this, thank you. to all the friends/casual mutuals that have since deactivated or only followed me for a short time then unfollowed; thank you.

like obviously i was never/have never been a massive popular blog on here, like thebootydiaries or vampireapologist (who has since deactivated a couple of months ago) with tens of thousands of followers. my follower count is still close to the 8,000 range at 7,892. obviously that’s still a lot of people (and of course, porn bots lmao and many, many non-active blogs), enough like one super old post from like 2012 tumblr pointed out, enough for a small to medium sized city or town, or something like that. i don’t know how many people i’ve really reached. i really don’t know how i actually amassed this small army of people.

i am aware though, that on other platforms like snapchat (lmao does anyone even use it anymore in 2021???)/instagram/youtube/tiktok etc, i’d PROBABLY be considered as some type of ~micro influencer (🤮🤮)~. hell, i actually had a bot slide into my notes about being one on here on this hellsite back in 2019. i don’t know if i’ve ever actually ~influenced~ anyone on here with my shitposts (when i started making some) or my personal posts. i don’t know my reach. even though, now, i do occasionally get featured on buzzfeed listicles (although pay me buzzfeed along with the OPs of those original embedded posts), i still don’t know how many people i’ve reached… and even with my very occasional checks of google analytics lmao. on top of this, grappling with the loss of followers at times is much, much easier than it was when i began on here and the first few years following that. i know that my follower count doesn’t determine my worth and stuff.

but over these 10 years, i have grown. i turn 26 this year. back in 2011, 15/16yo me never thought she’d be here. she was partially down the suicidal thoughts hole, with things about ~picturing her funeral and wondering who’d bother to turn up. if only she could pretend to be dead for a day to see who’d give a fuck~ and 16-18yo me was defs down it with her HSC hellscape thoughts in 2012/2013. that 3rd floor tafe/tech women’s bathroom window drop and the thought of scarring her class for life (and that cool dude from catholic school that she crushed on who ended up at tafe with her) with jumping out of it onto the concrete below. instead, she just posted on fb about ~being a failure~ etc which ultimately did lose her a bunch of facebook friends lmao. it was practically the same thing. her mental breakdown after the end of her hsc, where she let her earrings go green and get infected in her ears because “fuck self care, bc what the fuck is it??? i’ll never get better! let me fucking wallow in my self loathing bc it’s the only thing that i’m fucking good at!!!” so i no longer have my ears pierced. oh! it was just all too fucking much!!

i am happier today. i no longer have those semi-suicidal thoughts. hell, i almost died in 2020 from a fucking bowel aneurysm, after my stomach tumour excision surgery. that forced me to put things into perspective. i appreciate the little things . i appreciate the very few friends that i actually have. yes. i’m still depressed and anxious. some days are still shitty and hard. but nowhere as hard and shitty as they were back when i began on here 10 years ago.

how the fuck last 10 years have gone past, with my ass on here; clearing out my blog and caring more about doing that than my uni work (lmao whoops); having made some lifelong friends both internationally (from the US) and long distance domestically in australia, it’s been a long ride; i honestly have no fucking idea. obviously over these past 10 years, i’ve debated with myself over and over and over again whether i should delete/deactivate this account or not. would it make me healthier??? more than likely. but then when i have meltdowns or just inner ramblings i have to get out somewhere, where else to post??? on fb?? obvs not. it’s “attention seeking” or the like on there. no one will read them. no one will resonate. but on here??? even if i got/get one “like” in the notes or one “yo i feel this” response in the tags or replies, it feels like i’ve reached someone??? okay yeah. i know this place IS NOT therapy and i’m not using my followers as amateur (or probs even actual professional) armchair psychologists…. which is a thing i think people need to stop doing internet-wide: but that’s a whole other post that i reblogged a few days ago lmao. i really need to get another therapist, actually lmao.

but it’s the community i’ve found hard to leave. i have what feel like friends, when i’ve never been employed (still as of yet); and when all of my irl friends/acquaintances are working and doing the whole ~adulting~ and ~grown up life~ thing right. it’s also the frenzied rabidness of spite with hating staff’s godawful ideas. the memes. oh the memes. and also the RaWrInG 20s XD emo scene reemergence on here that’s kept me here. the messy petty drama from time to time of big blogs fighting it out.

this place really is bizarre and fun sometimes. and also the fact that i can still hide behind the ridiculous “roaring pikachu” URL that i made all those years ago. i am anonymous. it’s freeing. but on fb it’s all like “WHY WONT YOU ADD A BANNER IMAGE AND TELL US 20 FUN FACTS ABOUT YOU!!!!!???? LET PEOPLE WHO HAVENT SPOKEN TO YOU IN 10 YEARS KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE WE’RE ALL FRIENDS HERE!!!” and the same goes for Corporate Hellscape Facebook™️ (linkedin) but in the professional sense instead. y’all know fuck all about me really. besides my posts. and i love that and live for that. okay yeah. y’all know more about my mental health than my fb feed obvs… which is probably a terribly unfortunate thing. but still.

over the last 10 years then, my superiority complex for being ~so original and intelligent~ or whatever the fuck i had in high school, has all but ebbed away. i’m not that smart just because i went to uni. hell, i literally did NONE of my in-class work and none of my philosophy readings in uni….. so i have fuck all idea of how i got through undergrad like that lmao. i’m not original when so many people can articulate the same thoughts that i have, but like, sometimes better, on a post (even though sometimes/most of the time the Tumblr User Hot Takes Tuesday™️ takes on here are fucking awful lmao). but still. originality is not something i really have anymore. or really had in the first place lmao.

so will i deactivate after these 10 years, like i’ve been saying for so, so long??? i honestly have no idea. but just know. thanks guise. have a nice gpoy selfie day XD. grab your wands. your tardises. grab your war paint. grab your whatever the fuck other fandom specific stuff that was one that hella cringe post from 2011 til 2015 random tumblr. that relic is as old as time itself. just as this mysterious roaring pikachu is for someone whose too loyal to leave this W E B B E D H E L L S I T E that’s just as much of a train wreck as she is. lmao.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

summertime sadness .5.

work day

Sequel to kiss me in the d-a-r-k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (masterlist under construction)

Warnings: dub con sex (fingering)

This is dark!(dad)Steve and dark(professor!)Bucky explicit. 18+ only. I know they aren’t super dark, but like questionable so I’m keeping those tags just to be safe.

Summary: Loki adds to your workload.

Note: Right, here we go, here we go, here go again. Girls, what's my weakness? Men! Sorry, minor detour there but are we ready for the darkness? Y'all hold onto your panties. Thanks everyone for their support and I love you all! 💋

<3 Let me know what you think in a reblog, reply, or like. I’m loving the feedback from y'all and the enthusiasm! Also as always, memes accepted.

💋💋💋

You didn’t sleep much. Every time you closed your eyes, the scene flashed behind your eyelids. Loki standing over you, the image on his phone, his hand on your chin. And then you thought of Bucky. It was hard not to; your phone buzzed all night as you ignored his messages. Steve’s too. It had finally caught up to you and it felt worse than you could imagine. A man you admired thought you nothing more than a floozy. Well, maybe you were.

Saturday shone through your window and you rolled over. You were exhausted; mentally, emotionally. Your hours were spent reprimanding yourself. Going over all your mistakes; every single choice that had led to such disaster. You sat up and rubbed your eyes. You moved slowly, your body cramped from the tension.

The grind of your coffee machine filled the apartment as you sat at your desk. A mark of your guilt. A gift from one illicit lover; another having defiled you a top it. A year ago, to think of all that had transpired, you would’ve been appalled. You were. You’d sold your integrity for fleeting pleasures. You felt cheated. By yourself more than any.

You filled a mug and grabbed your phone from beside your bed. You hadn’t looked at it since you laid down the night before. Missed calls, unanswered texts, unread emails. You answered Bucky first, a simple ‘I wasn’t feeling well. Sorry.’ Besides, he had plans with Tanya, or was busy dodging her.

You texted the same to Steve and his response was swift. Your phone vibrated as his ID flashed across the screen and you answered the call after several rings. You were weak, breathless.

“Hey,” You said quietly and sipped your coffee.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked.

“Fine,” You lied poorly. “Work’s kept me busy and… I guess it’s gotten ahead of me.”

“Oh,” He uttered. “Any plans today?”

“Rest,” You shrugged and sat back in your chair. “After I sort through all my work emails and catch up.”

“Bucky?” He asked.

“I… I’m tired.” You grumbled. “I… need a break.”

“I’m sure work would understand if you took a day to yourself.” Steve said.

“No, no, I can’t do that,” You said suddenly. “I wasn’t talking about work.”

“What do you--”

“You shouldn’t be calling me. You should call Kylie. See how she’s doing.” You interrupted. “And Bucky should worry about his students. About marking and whatever. And I need to think about myself and my job.” You stood and paced around the small space of your apartment. “I’m sorry but… you said it yourself. It’s okay to be selfish, so I’m going to be selfish and think about my future because fucking old men isn’t going to get me anywhere.”

You hung up before he could respond. And then your heart sank. Why had you said that? It all had spilled from you so quickly. You cringed and your phone began to buzz again. It was Steve. You let out a shaky breath and dismissed the call. You set your phone to do not disturb’ and tossed it on your bed. Maybe your words were rash but it didn’t make them any less true.

💋

Monday. You walked into Adder Press with a pit in your stomach. You were jittery from more than your morning coffee. You gripped the strap of your bag tightly as you passed Stacey. Everything around you seemed distant, obscured by the haze that fell over you. You sat at your desk, numb, and began to set out your stuff as you always did. In a desperate attempt to make it all feel normal again.

As you waited for your computer to boot, you felt a subtly weight on the back of your chair. You looked up at Loki as he gripped the chair and smirked down at you. You blanched and your pen slipped from your hand. He bent to grab it before you could and as he rose, he dragged the lid against your leg. He held it out and you snatched it from him.

“Morning meeting in five,” He said as he stood before you. “Then I wanted to go over layout with you. A useful lesson if you ever hope to be anything more than a freelancer. You have to have a good eye… for detail.”

You gulped and nodded. “Yes, okay, yeah.” You set the pen down on your desk. “Five minutes.”

He winked and left you there to stew in your shame. You glanced around but no one else seemed to notice your tense interaction. They were all too concerned with their own schedules, their own presence at the meeting. Really, who cared much about the summer intern?

You were antsy as you walked into the conference room. You hid between Vanessa, a political pundit, and Jory, who covered local business stories. Loki sat near the head of the table as the marketing head went over the final prints of the Pride issue. You folded your hands before you but couldn’t concentrate. 

Your eyes wandered from the powerpoint and you found the editor-in-chief peering over at you. Another sinister grin sent a chill through you. You looked back to the screen and prayed for the day to go quickly. Your heart felt as if it would explode.

When you broke out, you dragged your feet and were the last out of the room. You lingered at your desk as you grabbed your notebook and pen. Loki’s office beckoned to you ominously. He stood in the doorway watching you; waiting for you. You neared him as his lips curled.

He shut the door and you jumped at the click. He brushed past you before he rounded his desk. He pulled a chair with him and placed it beside his. He waved you over. You took a breath and crossed to him. As you sat, he pinched your ass and you pressed your lips together to keep from yelping.

His hand settled on your thigh as his other moved his mouse. He opened a page from last month’s issue and kept his eyes on the screen as he kneaded your leg. “We’ll go over composition. How to draw the reader’s eye and using layout to enhance your words.”

You nodded stiffly and shakily opened your notebook. He kept his hand on your thigh as you place the book on his desk and uncapped your pen. He circled the title with his cursor, entirely unfazed by your discomfort. His fingers slipped closer to your pelvis.

“Titles are easy but you’ll want to position them according to article type as well. Is it an editorial? Review? Reflective?” He continued. “Now, most editors would leave this to marketing and such but… I try to be hands on with every aspect of my business. My seal is on every page, ever word, that goes out.”

You scribbled down a jumble of words as his hand slid between your thighs and he squeezed. You flinched and he let out a soft chuckle under his breath. You kept your wide eyes on the monitor and he carried on his lesson. His hand never quite reaching its target. He was teasing you. Asserting the new power he held over you.

When he finished his spiel, he drew away and turned his chair to face you. His legs were far apart and you tried not to look at the obvious bulge in his pants. You kept your head down as you slipped your notebook down onto your lap. 

“I’ve got an important lunch date tomorrow,” He said. “I should like you to accompany me, darling.”

You peeked up at him. “Okay.”

“Sceptre Press is looking to expand its mediums. The director of Celestial has agreed to discuss a partnership.” He said coolly.

“Oh?” You breathed. “They… do podcasts?”

“Mostly,” He confirmed. “But, my dear, do wear something nice. A skirt.”

You crossed your legs. Your straight-cut pants felt thin enough. “Alright.”

“No panties.” He licked his lips. “Our little secret… well, another one, yeah?”

“Okay.” You said. You bit down and your pen rolled out of your grasp once more. 

His eyes followed the pen and flicked back to you. “Well, go on,” He mused. “Very… clumsy today.”

You bent to retrieve your pen and he caught the back of your head. He held you there and rolled his chair closer so that his lap was only inches from your face. He snickered as you tried to pull away but quickly gave up. His other hand stretched over his crotch and he grasped his erection through the thin fabric of his trousers.

“I could make you do it right now,” He slithered. “Hmm?”

“Yes,” You uttered. 

“I’m tempted,” He rubbed himself and shifted his hand as he pushed you closer. “Kiss it.” You closed your eyes and kissed his bulge. He shivered and let you go. You sat up, dizzy, and he grinned at you. “Not yet.” He preened. “But I do have to take care of this…” He ran his hand across his lap again. “So if you would excuse me. I am certain you have work to catch up on.”

You stood and back away slowly. “Yes, sir.” You turned as you rounded the desk.

“Sir? I like that,” He called from behind you as you neared the door. “Oh, darling, one more thing.”

You spun back to him and shielded your chest with your notebook. “Yes?”

“I’ll need some inspiration so before you sit down, go to the lav and take a nice photo for me.” He made a show of unzipping his pants behind his desk. “I bet you’re wearing a sweet little white bra, aren’t you? Maybe a precious pink number?”

Your throat tightened as you stared back at him. “Okay.” You forced out. “Is that all?”

“For now,” He shooed you away with a wave of his fingers. “As you will.”

💋

You had few skirts to choose from. You settled on a lavender one that ended just above your knees. With it, you wore a blouse with a Peter Pan collar and a grey blazer with three-quarter length sleeves. It wasn’t as enticing as any other outfit you owned; which was not at all. Perhaps that would work in your favour.

When you arrived at the bistro, Loki waved you ahead of him as you followed the hostess to your booth. You slid across the bench first and he was close behind. He took out his phone and checked it before he set it face down on the table. He asked for water and nothing else.

Your leg shook under the table nervously. He grabbed your thigh to still you. The waitress returned and he thanked her, his hand still on your leg. When she departed, his fingers slowly gathered your skirt. You reached to pull it back and he tssked.

“Our associate has informed me she’s running late.” He grinned. “About twenty minutes or so.” You squirmed as his hand slipped beneath your hem. “I think we can fill our time accordingly.”

“L--Mr. Laufeyson,” You gasped. “Someone might see.”

“They’d have to be watching us very closely,” He leaned against you as his fingers crawled along the top of your thigh. “Now,” He shoved his hand between your legs roughly. “Let’s have some fun, darling.”

You parted your legs reluctantly and he tickled along your cunt. You grabbed the edge of the table and your eyes searched frantically. The other diners were occupied with their own meals, their own company. You felt as invisible as you had back at the office. He rubbed you slowly. He lifted his glass with his other hand as he continued.

“After our meeting, I think we’ll head back to the office and call a conference. We’ll need ideas for prospective podcasts,” He swirled his fingertips and you let out a long breath between your teeth. “Of course, if this all goes to plan.”

You whimpered as you felt yourself getting wet. His fingers glided easily along your folds as he spread your arousal. You planted your elbow on the table and held your chin as you bit your lip. Mortified, you tried to hide your face.

“Uh uh,” He grabbed your wrist and shoved it down as his fingers dipped inside you. “Look at me.”

You leaned back against the booth as you looked over at him. He smirked as he moved his fingers steadily in and out of you. He pressed his palm to your clit and the sensation made your legs shake again.

“Is this what you like? Sneaking around?” He taunted. “Is this what he does, hmm? Or maybe he bends you over his desk?”

“Mr. Lauf--” You swallowed down a moan and clapped your hand over your mouth.

“I can see it in your eyes. I can feel it,” He sped up and your thighs squeezed his hand. “Are you going to cum? Here in front of everyone? In the middle of this restaurant?”

Your eyes rounded and you grabbed his shoulder pleadingly. You couldn’t speak, afraid you would cry out instead.

“You like being a naughty little girl, don’t you?” He curled his fingers and you heard a subtle squelch as your walls twitched around him. 

You bared your teeth and latched onto his arm. You rocked your hips without thinking as you came. You let out a shuddery breath and he slid his fingers out of your cunt, sure to drag them along your folds. He untangled his arm from your grasp and you fell back against the seat and pushed down your skirt.

He raised his hand and ran his wet fingers over your lips. He pressed against your mouth until you opened it. He stared into your eyes as he made you suck your own cum off his knuckles. He withdrew them and used a napkin to wipe away your saliva.

“It is a pity, however, that this lunch should set you behind, darling,” He crossed his legs and drank from his water again. “You will have to stay late tonight… to catch up.”

“Yes, sir,” You ceded.

He smirked and looked around. A moment of silence before he perked up and stood. He buttoned his jacket so it hid his bulge and greeted the tall woman who approached you. He shook her hand with the same one he’d just had between your legs. You stood in kind. Your legs felt weak.

“Valerie,” He purred. “Thank you for fitting us in today.”

“Us?” She looked between you. “And sorry about the delay. Traffic was… traffic.”

“My intern,” He introduced you by name, “She’s shadowing me for the day. To get an idea of the business and all its little quirks.”

You shook her hand and you sat down as she did the same. The server was quick to appear and offer you menus. You eagerly took yours, hoping to hide behind it for the rest of the meal. Especially as that familiar and irresistible tingle nestled in your core.

[transsexualhamlet]

tg anime vs manga *sighs*

i have the power of hyperfixation and anime on my side! AAAAAAAA

Ok now that we’ve gotten the sins of re post out of the way we need to discuss this. And I just feel that this needs to be covered because I can’t ever get away from constant discourse on this, mostly fueled by manga readers who feel entitled to always think they’re superior for reading the manga, that the manga is the only real canon, that it’s more complex or better, I’m so fucking tired of it. I am also a manga reader, and I tend to get like that sometimes too with many series (for example no. 6 and the promised neverland.) I get it. It can be really annoying to see something butchered on screen to what the original is, changed or represented differently or given a different message or simplified. But just. Some people like the anime and it’s not a goddamn holy war for y’all to fight. It only makes anime fans not want to read the thing even more yknow cause manga readers are pretentious assholes, and I am aware of this as one of them.

(again ok i’d like to mention i know this fandom is basically dead but a certain p*nterest is always like 4 years behind on fandoms so i keep fucking running into Discourse that’s like, still current, whenever i want old random ass content) (and youtube, why do i look at youtube comments, because I personally enjoy being offended? yeah probably)

And that brings me to the point of this anime vs manga. 

This is a lot harder to compare than a lot of other series, because there are just... so many more differences not just in the style and vibe but the story itself.

Disclaimer, I’ve never watched the anime for :re and i don’t intend to, because I honestly have no earthly clue how tf you can get from the highly diverged tokyo ghoul root A to re and make it make sense, and I don’t really want A ruined for me. So you can call me biased towards the manga in the case of re, i guess (which makes my eventual conclusion even more strong I’d say) Honestly I just see them as two completely different stories, the manga’s version connecting with re and A just like... ending there. So how we’re drawing the lines is basically tokyo ghoul A versus the manga and :re. God, I know this isn’t a fair fight because I already hate re so much, but I feel like the manga’s story is much more intertwined with :re than the anime’s is, so that’s what we’re going with.

oh god also another disclaimer this opinion is coming from the biggest fucking kanehide whore, you can disregard anything i say if you ship The Straights and/or do not care for my boi hide

To be honest, if I can take my own conclusions and liberties to the story, I like both versions, each have their pros and cons and kind of a conflicting message. They can’t really coexist. Usually I’d consume all versions and then create one consistent canon in my head for what I accept as the true events (for example my main owari no seraph, first season of the anime is canon but after that we only follow the manga since those can come together and make sense.) but it’s very hard to do that in tokyo ghoul, since I must confess... I really like root A. Like of course, it’s a lot different from the manga, but tbh I think it’s super valid. (unlike most Fans TM like this Fan TM who i’m sending this post to just to spite their singular Youtube Comment Section Discourse, yes I did write this post for you and many others like you) But the ideas that make up root A conflict a lot with the ones of the manga, so I just have to accept that they’re separate things and treat them as such.

Now to break it down so people can understand where I’m coming from I guess? God this is already so long here’s a read more

The Case for The Manga (including :re manga)

More Lore + Plot Shit: One of the main reasons that manga readers are pretentious little bitches is a valid reason, namely that, as is the case with most manga, there’s simply more to it than people can fit into an anime. (Although people need to understand that’s because,,, it’s simply a different medium, so it will have different pluses and minuses, such as for example a soundtrack, color, moving pictures,,, you know, all that. Anime onlys don’t say that the anime is better by stating these things that a manga won’t have... because they’re fucking obvious. So manga readers should stop acting like an anime is inherently sub-par for being less in depth, but we digress.) I can understand that reading the manga is kind of important for wanting to understand the lore (though there are like so many other reasons ppl might want to watch it other than to get the lore) and without the explanation of how all this came to be and how it works, everything tends to be really mysterious, confusing, and seemingly random. It’s really nice to know what’s all going on, of course, and stuff like the washuus, rize’s backstory, the explanation for like, kaneki in general, all that- if you’re looking for like, plot shit, manga is definitely your go to. But like, sometimes, you like, don’t actually care about those things.

Haise: Of course one of the most important things about well, including re is that I fucking love Haise. Like he is my favorite Kaneki. He’s just so wonderful, look at him in he glasses and he floofy hair and he striped pants and he energy boxers and he s p i c e and he MOM. And I really like how they took Kaneki’s character and developed it more with Haise, you can see his turnaround from innocent--> Emo--> Trying To Be Innocent Again But Failing and I think that’s really sweet tbh. I rejected that at first because I didn’t understand it but once I actually read re I thought it made a lot of sense and was a logical thing to do with his character. (though, uh, moving forward, after his hair changes again i disagree with it, haise 1.0 is a good take and i love him and i want the best for him) I could go on I’ve already written a post of what I think is wrong with :re so if you want to hear my take on kaneki’s 37 pokemon evolutions that’s in there

Good New Characters: And of course there are my favorite bitches such as quinx squad, oh my god, there was a terminal lack of dumbass squad vibes in the original and ishida fucking gave it to us, I love them, I love them with all my heart and I think that if I wasn’t attached to them I’d probably just cancel all of :re but like this is just my personal problem. God I love them. Ishida always pulls through with characters I’m now too attached to.

Vore Lmao:Ok like hear me out. I just get a laugh out of it every time the manga has to remind me of this little fucking fact. Like ok I just. Cannot get over it. It’s so serious about it too and like I realize it’s a serious deal but o h  m y  g o d

Ok and now that we’ve got that little rant over I do want to say that it is like actually really important past the “lmao that’s pretty gay” bit, like??? In some ways it’s more fitting than the anime because well, ishida’s point always seems to be “what would mentally and physically hurt kaneki the most right now” and does it because that’s who this bitch is. But it just?? Kind of makes a bit more sense for the storyline if we’re being picky here, it’s so,,, painfully on point? Like the entire reason he gave in to Being A Ghoul and all was so he could save his friends and shit (i actually do not remember if this was a thing in the manga but like? when he was being tortured and he like imagined hide being really mad at him and getting killed by jason and shit?) LIKE AND THEN HE GOES AND HAS TO BASICALLY BE THE PERPETRATOR OF THAT HIMSELF, FUCK, it’s a lose/lose situation of “don’t do the bad thing and watch your friends suffer” or “do the bad thing and watch your friends suffer but like, later” ishida please

The meaning of Hide being alive: Ok this is just me crying over chapter 75 still but like. Instead of in the anime, where hide’s point seems to be that instead of letting kaneki sacrifice anything more he’d be the one to give his life up and such, and save kaneki, in the anime tbh he just really wanted to be with kaneki right then?? and like ouch but understanding that in the manga he wasn’t just planning on dying and leaving kaneki to deal with it afterward he wanted to go on and continue to try to help the guy no matter the shit he had to go through, no matter if the dude just like forgot that he existed for two years and all- LIKE UH CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW HIDE DOESN’T EVEN EXPECT ANY APOLOGY? like kaneki’s like “OH MY GOD I’M SUCH A TERRIBLE PERSON” and hide’s like lmao nah it’s cool i’m thriving- that his big motto was “live” rather than “peace out motherfuckers it’s been fun”. Cause. Fucking. Ishida. Can’t kill off characters well but like at least he made keeping this one alive justified. 

The D e t a i l s: Ok well I feel like this is something everyone knows but the anime is missing a lot of really,,, crunchy details that the manga throws in there, like, well, kaneki’s fucking,,, bones thing, and other assorted details, g o d like those are missable if you want to never understand half the memes but also like,,, sometimes you just gotta read that shit. It also like, makes more sense when you do but sometimes it’s just stupid things that aren’t important but are fucking hilarious.

The Flavor: In general I’d say the greatest difference between the anime and the manga is the general flavor of the thing, the vibe in the manga is a lot, to be frank, darker and grosser and bloodier than the anime, which is a lot more focused on being pretty and Tragic than “HOLY SHIT WTF” but like. That’s valid. With that comes it being a lot more, real, and although the art may not be as polished as the anime’s, sometimes that’s exactly what you need, and the really gritty sketchy shit that’s in the manga sometimes is exactly what it’s supposed to be for the manga. (in the anime, i’d say that the colored and polished style fits it better, so we’re good there.) It’s a lot more real, in the manga, when the anime hesitates to “go there” a lot (and well, sometimes that’s welcome, but sometimes it’s like y o u  g u y s  c o m e  o n  r e a l l y maybe i DID want to see that did you ever think of that)

So like, to sum it up i’d just like to say it’s more detailed, sharper and darker and is simply So Much. There is just More Content

The Case for Root A

ON THE OTHER HAND, (buckle up fuckers)

Depth of Emotion (that Ishida was too much of a pissbaby for): God like you know what I mean if you read the last post, we spent a whole episode on these gay fucks in root A, with backstory and dreams and drawn out suspense and emotion and GUYS LOOK AT THEM NO REALLY OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS whereas hide’s limelight in the manga is a whole... two pages, oh whoopee, and that’s mostly due to the fact of ishida putting himself in a spot of “oh fuck goddamn if i drew that in i’d get flagged for gay porn” but that’s his own fault, so he downplays the whole scene and really keeps it in the dark, whereas in this anime it’s understandably a lot less,,, like that, but how it plays out here is simply... really nice and makes you cry and shit, whereas in the manga I’d go “oh god oh damn oh fuck” *laughs my ass off because i really can’t take this seriously*. You get just... more here.

To elaborate on this, in the anime, as a gay fucking bastard, I can get practically an endless amount of content from episode twelve, and endlessly stew over all Those Things about it, every hard hitting line, the expressions, the music making it even sadder, the ways the VAs say the words, the cinematic beauty of the blood dripping on the floor and like how it’s supposed to make you think it’s kaneki’s, GOD I COULD FUCKING GO ON, but if we want to get that in the manga... 

we get three incredibly basic lines, a blackout, and then a “QUICK LET’S MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE BEFORE ANYONE NOTICES THE IMPLICATIONS OF THAT HAHA”

So if we want to have more, we need to write it. (sadly) None of it is ever played out canonically so like,,, all we can do is infer and make shit up. It’s like, I am a writer so like that’s my whole job but I really would rather have more content, and have the content that’s there get to be emotional instead of *blank face* “this is plot that is happening, sadly” but like maybe it’s just bc i’m gay

Really Fucking Beautiful (aesthetically as well as story-wise): This kind of just goes hand in hand with the depth of emotion bit, and I think it can’t really compared to the manga here because I’m gay so I see pretty colors and cry so the anime is understandably appealing for me, but I’m also talking emotionally, yeah. There’s a lot of plotlines and implications of the story that are really well played out, I always love to watch the original because it does a very good job handling a lot of the harder topics and stuff that makes the whole thing worthwhile- like the whole point you’re supposed to see that the ghouls and humans are both just as monstrous when you break it down, that there are good and bad people on both sides, everyone just wants to live and feel good in their own life and perspective, everyone has reasons that justify their behaviour in their mind, sometimes you just can’t win no matter what, all that... they’re all really important messages and make the whole story, and they were handled much more delicately and with more expertise in the anime. 

It’s hard to pin down, but I feel like the manga was just based more on Fight Scenes Characters OoH Fake Science and kind of just gave kaneki infinite power ups after Trying Harder no offense, obviously those things were there and they were still very good in the manga it’s just sometimes they were cheapened a lot by ishida really not keeping track of what he’s trying to say with his story and sacrificing it a lot for “BUT WHAT IF KANEKI’S HAIR AND IDEALS CHANGED AGAIN” instead of making it a whole cohesive work. (and yes, I am VERY aware of your “well aCtuAlLy the hair represents his sanity” thing i know i know and i’m about to rip it to fucking shreds so)

Understandable Character Development And Staying True To It: Which brings me to this point, character development. This was another thing that was just... handled with more expertise in the anime, whoever was in charge of it. Mostly this has to do with Kaneki, since like, no offense but he’s the only one who ever gets much character development other than like, juuzou (asmr you only get character development if your hair color changes) oh and i guess there’s tsukiyama but he’s someone who shouldn’t have gotten character development. Touka gets character development only before re for some reason, and like tbh that’s kind of it. I do think Juuzou’s character development was valid, because well... it made sense? I complained about it before because I was like “well he just turns into spicy L” but i’ve since changed my opinion, he’s best boy. But Kaneki? They went way overboard with him in the manga, and generally? Calm tf down ishida.

Breaking it down, one of the main things that most of the tried and true manga stans seem to hate about the anime the most is Kaneki going over to Aogiri in root A. Since they’re much more acclimated to the manga, they don’t understand why he would do that (quoting a particular ‘probably made sense in the manga!’ yes i know that whole thing was poking fun at the show and i felt it lmao) and they just pin it to “ahaha he has now become Edgy for the fans ehehe time to make fun of him” and TO BE FAIR YOU’D BE COMPLETELY RIGHT. I love to make fun of Kaneki when he does his edgy bitch thing because that’s what he is. A basic edgy bitch who is just,,, such a main character. But like. He does actually have his reasons despite popular opinion and to be honest I think they’re a bit more valid than in the manga, where he’s just like “well I’ve been tortured, that was not pleasant and i kinda did a bad thing, let’s go back to anteiku but i’m just gonna Try Harder To Fight this time”. I can understand that, but like, it seems like in the manga every Character Development of kaneki is some form of “i will now be stronger” except for the singular “I will now be a different person” which, well, we’ll get to that. 

In the anime though, even if it seems like more of a basic edgy bitch move, it’s like?? It makes perfect sense to me, and to be honest more than the manga does? Obviously he doesn’t wanna be best bros with Aogiri, he realizes they’re all bad people who have done really terrible things, but the fact is he now sees himself as the same thing, he now understands their motives because in his mind he is also now Bad TM. His whole character development of being tortured was that peace wasn’t an option no matter how much he wanted it, he couldn’t live being a pacifist and the world was forcing him to give the “i am the only one that understands! we need to stop fighting!” bullshit up because there was no way to achieve it. He realized if he kept himself the way he was more people he loved would be hurt like they already had because he couldn’t, so he doesn’t just Decide To Become Stronger, he gives up his humanity. And that includes basically letting himself defend his own actions and try to do “the right thing”. 

Him then joining aogiri makes sense because well. They’re the people who are the strongest, who have the power, who are the same as he sees himself. He still wants to protect the people he loves, he just also realizes he can’t do it by working with them since he now understands that their more peaceful ways will by definition get them fucking killed. His understanding is flawed, of course. He’s not really right. But this is his understanding and from that it makes perfect sense for him to join up with aogiri and try to still do as much as possible from that standpoint, realizing that most likely the people he’s trying to protect will hate him for it. I think that makes sense to me, what do you not understand about it? (I also understand that may make some people mad because he’d Doing Bad Things but I point to you he’s so soft, remember when he was really nice to naki when he was literally the one who killed the guy naki was crying about? remember when he was doing a raid and he saw that guy hiding and he never mentioned it? remember like the seventy times he Cried TM, yeah he’s problematic obviously but if you want problematic I’ll point you to a certain fucking black reaper. Shironeki has nothing on that asshole.)

I think what Kaneki did in the manga was fine, but in general the anime (again) had more depth of understanding and emotion versus a steady Try Harder Get Stronger shonen deal, which, well, fair, but like, nah. Continuing why I think the anime dealt it better is the ending of A, which was a lot more well rounded then *kaneki gets stabbed and then there’s a lot of random plot shit going on in the background*. Here Kaneki then got to round out the end of his character development by realizing slowly through the second half of this season, him becoming a kakuja and then basically deciding like, not to

((kakuja kaneki was dealt with again different in the anime and manga because he basically stopped trying to use it in the anime bc he realized it was a bad fucking idea but this goes along with the ‘his character development of “i’m gonna do bad things for good reasons” --> “actually no wait that was a bad idea” was actually done in root A instead of being dragged out into :re and it’s appropriate for its own medium and the messages it’s trying to get across so manga loyalists hate it’ but we digress))

So in root A we got to see him actually develop and realize himself through the second half of the season starting with cochlea, his interactions with Amon, and ultimately through Hide, that he’d been doing the wrong thing by becoming more monstrous/fighting harder because what he did was ended up forgetting the most important thing, *smiles in gay* HIDE.(well, his humanity. yeah. i cite the terrible opening for root A with the fun ‘the hands taking off kaneki’s mask are hide’s’ bit.) He then remembered again why he wanted so bad to stop the war between humans and ghouls, he wanted to be able to live in peace and not have to be a monster- something that was not dealt with in the manga (though for understandable reasons of We Need To Fuck With Him In Re More, they then didn’t deliver on creating something like that later so I take this.)

That’s most of the difference between the original manga and anime, but I’d also like to discuss (briefly, I’ve already yelled about them) the ridiculous amount of hurdles ishida went through to fuck with kaneki in the manga, Of course there is the fact that well, the slower transition of his character does make some more sense for the manga because if you take :re into consideration, his eight billion character changes are more tolerable when they haven’t like, already happened before in the manga (just the anime). It makes more sense there for Haise to be tormented by past kaneki telling him He’s Too Weak because in the manga he hasn’t already had that development prior to “dying”, and he lost his memories still believing he had to be strong even if he did bad things, whereas in the anime it doesn’t track because at the end like i just said he kind of gives up his ghoulhood on purpose because he realizes that joining aogiri and fighting and shit was really wrong because, hide. So I can see why those character decisions were not made in the original when planning for :re, but... the fact remains that those previous decisions do not make up for how absolutely weak :re’s game ended up being with kaneki. 

So tldr this entire section, All the manga’s defense of how they handled Kaneki’s development is basically void because all those choices were buildup for development in :re which ishida then COMPLETELY fell down on. So the alternative is better.

And now comes my yelling about how exactly Ishida fucked it up: hair colors and kaneki’s 80 kanekis. If black is supposed to represent sane and white is supposed to represent insane or, whatever, i dunno, who tf thought black reaper kaneki was sane? Who tf would think kaneki in the end isn’t? I haven’t looked into this really, and I’d really love it if someone explained it to me the way ishida was going for bc I do not understand it. Like that tracks with Juuzou, and with Kaneki up to Haise Original, but they don’t really make a cohesive sense seeing as after Haise’s hair color changed again that whole deal kind of goes to shit. Not to mention... I just... they completely failed to make those character changes actually part of the story, I’m mostly complaining about black reaper haise, none of him makes any sense. What’s his deal? He wants to protect who he loves? Tracks with the ghouls but fun fact he abandoned his kids? He actually cared for them? What then, he wants to be the strongest as possible? Sure but then?? Why?? I don’t understand his motives at all.

We also didn’t get to see him get his memories back either, which I was actually very much looking forward to, it just,,, like all of a sudden he’s talking with eto about yoshimura and i’m like bruh when tf did that happen? It’s bad, and although chapter 74-76 is super valid, and his change back into white hair kaneki makes sense, I also have the complaint about how haise basically disappeared just like he was worried he would. I think that was bad and I’ve said that already, it doesn’t make sense, he just literally throws those entire two years away to go back to the way he was before he was with the CCG and just forgets everything he’s wanted for the last few years? Fiction logic test fucking failed, and you’ve also broken my heart. Love Haise. You got rid of him. I love kaneki too but like. Why don’t they just. Like. Merge. He is one whole complex person, not one and an imposter, god. 

This is a big negative for re and the manga, so automatically a positive for root A where I simply Do Not Have To Deal With That Bullshit and the character development actually makes sense. I can understand the decisions in the original manga could have set up for good development in :re, but they completely failed to deliver.

root a didn’t fast forward to re at the end god damn let us process this shit first before you try to connect it to something else: The thing with this point is that it’s really difficult to separate the original manga from the continuing story in :re because the thing intertwines so much and immediately moves us forward with a ton of plot points for the next part of the story before we’re done with this climax and the end of this story. Sometimes that’s ok and I can see doing that from an author’s perspective because you want people to continue reading your story instead of taking that as the end but it’s really annoying on a reader’s end, because I’m picky and I want to be able to just be able to enjoy my original canon without it like, metaphorically touching :re on a plate. It’s something that I don’t even do with my own longer stories, like for example I have like a trilogy of >100k fics that like, well i’m technically not done with them but like. 

People really like the first one because it’s more focused on a more popular ship and basic elements people like about the thing, and then by the second book it moves on to talk more about the plot and lore and brings in more secondary characters. And so I knew that a lot of the readers of the first one wouldn’t want to have to deal with a lot of the “oh well stuff is happening elsewhere that will effect stuff later!!!” random plot shit that none of my readers actually cared about. So I kept it to wrapping up the points of the first book and then leaving the introduction of new characters and plot for the people who actually wanted to read it. Ishida didn’t do that, and of course it’s within his right to like?? Want to promote the next series but I’d have enjoyed it more if we ended it at kaneki’s “death” and wrapping up the deals with the rest of the characters instead of quickly shoving in the beginning of seventy more plotlines before the book ends. Like honey I simply do not have the reading comprehension for that. In the anime we get something that... makes sense.

In the anime, however, it’s quite the opposite, for example the reveals like Eto=owl=takatsuki sen were pushed before that and they saved episode twelve for, well, the end bit. Like what was actually the ending. There were detriments to this I had to say (LIKE GUYS I GET IT HE’S CARRYING HIDE HE’S CARRYING HIM I GET IT YOU’VE BEEN DOING IT FOR HALF THE EPISODE NOW OK I UNDERSTAND CAN WE MOVE ON) But like, I prefer the concept of a simple idea with as much emotion squeezed out of it as possible to a ton of confusing and contradicting ideas that are touched on for a second before moving on. So the *cries for half an hour* ending was much more appealing to me, and I can keep that separate in my head from any of the ideas that :re creates, letting me pretend it doesnt exist and imagine that’s the end and there’s nothing else to worry about. If we want to move forward and hear more, then we can, but it isn’t necessary like it is with the manga.

No Bad Takes that are hard to pry apart from good plot and characters:This is basically the downsides of the new characters, which is well, if I had to make a whole ~keep reading~ post about how problematic everything in re was that does have to count as a downside. I love the new characters, but they also come intertwined with a thousand really bad takes on like, everything, and of course I can ignore it and just act as though they were written in like, to be perfectly honest, a non transphobic way, it’s a real downside when the original anime was pretty pain-free in the way of their takes on their characters. They fucked everyone up in re and I will not elaborate, we’ve talked about this, it’s just the anime, and which i mean season 1 and root A, don’t really have any bad takes I need to try to get rid of, it’s surprisingly something I have little complaint about at all and I ALWAYS have complaints.

Hide!!!!: Obviously, you can tell that a lot of my opinions are going to be hide based because he’s the only thing I ever think about. But we have to take into account just how... hide???? This goes a lot into the depth of emotion bit but it also offers the other side of the argument for Hide’s part in the :re manga, which well. Was mostly chapter 75 if we’re going to be perfectly honest here. He doesn’t get any other limelight. Even in the chapter where Kaneki meets him again he gets a whole what, three pages? In the manga, he has an extremely valid deal about basically, living, keeping going no matter what, and that is a fitting part for the manga, considering the rest of the points there ride more on Keep Fighting instead of Think About Your Emotions And Morals, but honestly chapter 75 was really valid. So why do I still think the anime’s version where he like (ok I don’t know about the re anime we’ve discussed this, i don’t even know how they choose to explain that) he like, dies in kaneki’s arms is better overall? Again, I would have totally accepted that deal if it was made a part of the story because it made me cry, it was super valid, and if they’d continued in that way I would have agreed with it completely over that. But the fact is again that they failed to deliver, and Hide got largely ignored, suffered so much with so little outcome. There was so much buildup and it was incredibly valid, but when the time came for them to meet again and basically show... why it was important that Hide lived in the end? 

They didn’t. They straight up didn’t. Kaneki’s like “oh sorry bro... glad you’re alive and all...” *goes off and fights* and like? Honestly? @everlastingspiral is right, if that’s all they’re gonna do with him what’s the point of keeping him alive? I love every single panel of him and I wouldn’t have read re if he didn’t, but hide gets absolutely NO payoff. For letting kaneki literally vore his entire mouth off, leaving him disfigured and unable to talk, then kind of disappearing for two years and doing seemingly nothing but trying to help kaneki even though he’d forgotten the guy existed, risks his life like a thousand fucking times, eventually gets back to him and the dude’s running a fucking anti-human organization, helps him like Not Be A Volitile Pile Of Flesh Anymore and then what should have been a very important moment of them meeting again gets completely overshadowed by touka and random plot shit and more fights and they barely interact, they don’t even hug or anything, they barely talk, and at the end hide is still there but to be honest he’s gotten absolutely no thanks for all he did and ishida acts at the end as though he’s done very well with hide and gives him a tiny bit at the end throwing in a tragic backstory for fun (which hot take he really didn’t fucking need on top of it all) and... there’s no real hint that Kaneki is better off with Hide there, even though there should be. In 75, in his dream, kaneki is sobbing and crying and all like i’m so lonely without you but when they actually meet each other again? “yo” “hey” “uh sorry about,,, the thing,,, you know” “nah man it’s ok” “let me talk about myself for a bit” “yes you always do do you want to hear what I’ve been up to” “not really” “that’s fine i’m only here to support you”

...So you can understand why I’ve gone a bit sour on that. If that’s all you’re going to give him? Hot take? Let him die. Hide deserves better. (and i will deliver that in writing, but for the purposes of canon.)

In the anime, however (not counting re again... although he still gets the short end of the stick just in the original manga too compared to the anime) he’s properly dealt with! he gets his proper limelight and he gets acknowledged for what he’s done thusfar in the story, which is already so much. Kaneki then realizes that, but it’s already too late (or it isn’t, and they like negotiate with the ccg and then they get to live happily ever after) either way he gets appreciated and he gets hurt, but it’s properly acknowledged. And after all that, after saving kaneki and getting him to the cafe and doing it all while bleeding the fuck out, he gets to spend that time with kaneki and die in kaneki’s arms. And frankly? That’s all I think he’s ever needed. It’s really poetic and pretty and brings kaneki’s character around full circle, and even if it’s overly sappy, cliche, drawn out... he gets the attention he’s due and he gets a fucking break. He wanted to show Kaneki he wanted to do something for him and save him instead of the other way around, but then HE GOT ACKNOWLEDGED FOR THAT, instead of just well, tirelessly working towards it forever and having to be content to be a background character with practically no value to Kaneki anymore.

Keeps The Same Vibe: The big thing about this is that with the manga and with re, shit just goes all over the place, and I feel like I’ve amply showed that already through this essay or whatever this is. Again about the consistency and the professionalism, It’s a concise story that makes more sense than the manga while also being simply neater and more deep, making sure all the points, themes and messages work together and make sense to create a cohesive deal even if it’s not as long. (the manga is like ishida had a TON of good ideas for an essay but then fleshed out the thing ten minutes before deadline and managed to completely lose what his original thesis was even if the thing was 10 pages long.) Basically. yeah. That kind of sums it up, my last point concerns the ending.

Not Cheap Ending: If you want to hear my take about how absolutely terrible re’s ending was, check out my The Many Sins Of Tokyo Ghoul :Re post, and we’ve discussed how the original’s manga ending was bad and well not really an ending, it just leaves you unfulfilled and takes you into “well I guess I have to start a whole nother sequel series ig...” but root A like? Actually ends it? If a reader didn’t know that there was any content after that, they could pretty much infer that hide’s death or almost death whatever you inferred out of that ending (again we’re ignoring re) allowed Kaneki to finish his character development and realize they needed to stop the war, which basically tracks with what’s going on in everyone else’s perspective- eto’s problem with the world because of what happened with everything, is basically like, all of aogiri, juuzou and shinohara, amon and akira and kaneki and they can realize all they have to do is just sit down and fucking stop it because none of them want to be fighting, hide is the catalyst for that because the CCG can see how Kaneki cares for him? And it’s so open ended that you could just like literally believe that and there’d be no way for that canon to tell you otherwise, or you could go onto re and whatever if you wanted to. I think that’s the best thing. 

In conclusion, both have valid points, and in general I’d say that the manga goes better with :re and the anime is better as a stand alone but if I had to choose overall, this particular anime is better (taking into account only seasons 1 and 2), for mostly the reasons of favoring a simpler story taken with much more care and depth versus a more complex story with many, MANY imperfect elements, and I am aware I will get shot on sight for this opinion. So sue me.

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Yes to Yuji wrecking Mahito! Just so much yes my boy needs to avenge those wrongfully killed!

See I wanted Geto to be on my shit list (as I'm not normally a bad guy lover) but I swear he wore me down reading the manga. Plus he's just so pretty he makes my brain all static noises 😳 Not to mention that backstory between him and Gojo like YES give me all the drama I need buried drama 🤩

Totally agree on the Mai thing. See I wanted to hate Todo too bc of well him beating on Megumi but the moment him and Yuji were just like "Big Dumb Meat Heads" together I threw that out the window! Those two together are *chefs kiss* Absolutely stupendous I never get tired of them 👌👌👌

Mai on the other hand is just crawling more and more under my skin. Like why you gotta be like that gurl? You wanna go in the crusty corner with Mahito? Cuz you gotta crusty attitude that needs fixing like yesterday 😐

Literary brain tells me it wants more drama/character growth between Megumi and Toji. But my useless overly big heart wants to punch Toji and protect Megumi at all costs bc he just showed up on the screen like the kool aid man and burst right into my heart and I shan't forgive Megumi for that but now I will die for him so ¯\_( ツ)_/¯

But I'm not the only one who lowkey fantasizes about self inserty type day dreams??? Like every day all day I got my thoughts flowing into 500 different lil oneshots I'm too chicken to post anywhere bc I havent written anything in a while and I feel I'm rusty. But your idea! YOUR IDEA WOO BOI- I'm not even a Gojo fanatic (like I adore him but my heart dick thudded elsewhere RIP) but that scene you described of straddling him just to rip his blindfold off in the heat of an arguement that's clearly deadly to either party- Just to see him on the brink of tears fighting back every emotion to slate his composure to cocky/uncaring. Only to have it obviously failing, and the metaphorical reality around you both crumbling along with Gojo's emotional state- Oh God I would read that crap outta something like that. It fills me with the angst and I thrive on it daily *heavy breathing* You should think about posting more of your original content too! Self inserty or not bc that sounds down right brilliant on so many levels

💛anon

Bro I can't help but feel had for Gojo. That shit must have hurted. Like he looked so calm and collected when it all happened but was he really? His best friend potential lover went feral and murdered an entire village AND his family then he tried to kill his first years once and now AGAIN what is happening. Did you see the look on Gojo's face when Yaga told him he went rogue? That was a face of hurt and betrayal he couldn't even begin to understand at the young age of... What was it, 17? 18? He was practically a little itty bitty baby compared to now. I haven't read the prequel yet don't laugh at me but I've heard it hurts so much worse having to face Getou back then AND now. Stupid brain worms, stop fucking around.

I wanted to hate Todo too hut before he even turned good I couldn't. I have a thing for big buff boys who have zero brains and too much brawns I'm looking at you Metal Bat, Captain Ōbi I just wanna adopt/marry them because in all reality they're trying their best. I'm really glad Todo exists and has his big brother delusion because honestly I think that's something Yuji needs, especially in the current arc. Yuji needs as much support as he can get.

PFFFT CRUST CORNER I cannot with you omg they do need to sit on the time out chair for s bit and think about what they've done lmaooo

DID YOU CALL TOJI ZENIN- FUSHIGURO THE FUCKING KOOL AID MAN AHAHAHHHSH oh my god i hate this so fucking much or were you calling Megumi the koolaid man bc really each one is absurd n e wayz I dunno bro I rlly can't wait until Megs wakes up post Shibuya arc and actually has time to process what the fuck happened to him back then. I really want to know if he can connect the dots by himself and realize holy shit that was the source of my daddy issues right there in the flesh and how he reacts to him being a curse and all that. There's so many ways that can go too it's scary to think about.

Low key unrelated but I have a theory that Gojo can see everything from his little cube prison and knows what's going on. Its probably because of the six eyes, or because he's just fucking Gojo, or even because Geto seems kinda sadistic and would do something like that. But I can imagine him watching Megs and Toji fight and it absolutely destroying him. For starters, Gojo killed him .... Right? Wtf is he doing back? What? Second don't commit suicide in front of your kid oh my god Toji what (I'm probably just salty because of a past experience, but also, calm down Toji oh my god) and third I can see it hurting Gojo because in a way it feels like he's been trying to protect Megumi. Its obvious Gojo has this attachment to Megumi, and maybe it's because they've known each other so long, but I don't think Gojo is prepared to deal with the aftermath. Does he have to tell him, if Megs doesn't put the pieces together? Will he have to knock some sense into him to actually tell him? Because he DID try to tell Megs once before and he avoided it like the plague. Its also gotta hurt when you feel like someone's dad and you witness them have a bad interaction with their other dad.

Throw in his daughter being on the brink of death, his other son being emotionally demolished, his second year kids lost in the void and not even his void, his best friend locked him in a box, his other best friend exploded, etc. I think Gojo I pretty distraught even if he doesn't show it

Bro okay my brain is riddled with ideas like this and 90% of them are always angst. Idk where tf they come from half the time but they exist and I hate it. They're always self inserts too.

So I actually read this ask last night, but due to personal reasons I didn't reply to it now, and I actually started experimenting writing out this scenario. I had to stop when I wrote the line "Approximately one year after the first finger was consumed, Itadori Yūji was formally executed. At three minutes to midnight, Sukuna Ryomen was expelled from his body, destroying the vessel along with it. The executioner was none other than the teenager's teacher and mentor Gojo Satoru. When Y/N awoke to this news, they attacked on sight."

Oh god I made myself so sad with that line

And i do really want to post some of my fics, like I did with Nobara Meeting Sukuna For The First Time. However, I only posted that because it was short and simple lmao it was basically just a meme I didn't even run it though grammarly like I do with the headcanons.

I like sticking to the headcanons as of right now because I feel like grammar didn't exist when I make those. I can spell things wrong and leave off punctuation and word then like I'm a third grader just learning English and no one will laugh lmao. Fanfics kinda stress me out because i want them to be perfect. I also have a hard time with fight scenes and transitioning and it's s mess.

I REALLY want to write out my Guardian Angel! Junpei AU because I think it's so cute. Just the idea that this boy is assigned to fight against fate and the higher ups and keep Yuji alive despite him being an idiot and a target is cute to me. Like I just canon him being the plantonic equivalent of in love with this boy and he feels like he rlly owes it to Yuji for trying to save him it's the LEAST he can do. Plus I need the mental imagine if Junpei annoying reader-chan into finding Yuji because "they play a pivotal role in Yuji's future" just for the "pivotal role" to literally be playing therapist and just being there for him and being a medium between Junpei and Yuji because guardian angels aren't allowed to reveal themselves to the person they're guarding but also/// he might risk his wings being stripped just to talk to Yuji one more time////

Okay I'm going to stop now

But yea, maybe if I have time and create little mini works like Nobara Meeting Sukuna For the First Time I'll def post them! I'll work on casually making them longer and soon I'll be confident to posts longer ones. But until then I hope just the headcanons at alright ;-;

[deathboundinautumn]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE;  Meme.

Mun & Muse

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by:   @foxcharmed​ (ily) tagging:    oof this is a longer one so ima tag only a few people @rock-you-like-a-hurricxne​, @niflheimqueen​, @tacitusauxilium​, @finalhxaven​, @dxfiedfxte​, and anyone who wants to do it, steal it from me (I wont tell if you dont ;) )

MY MUSE IS:   canon / oc / au / slightly canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM?   YES? / NO. (I’m not entirely sure? I know he’s generally well-liked in the fandom)

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. (I’m pretty sure people think he is)

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. (Yeah he's pretty fucking strong, just most people dont use him because you only have him for like a month :/ )

ARE THEY UNDERRATED?   YES / NO / IDK. (I wouldn’t say they are.  I mean the persona 3 fandom is already small as it is and everyone seems to like him so)

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY?   YES / NO 

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER?   YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. (In vanilla game not as much but in other mediums that tell the story (which are also canon) yes they are)

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD?   YES / NO. (just a homeless orphan) 

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION?   GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. (Depends on who you ask.  The other members of the Senpai squad would say he’s the goodest boy.  But others call him a criminal/vagrant/troublemaker and all sorts of things.  Shinji prefers his reputation to be leaning towards the bad side as he’s more likely to be left alone that way)

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?   —   I have a very very hard time breaking canon.  The big thing being his fate on Oct 4th, its very hard for me to not honor that.  I like that his story has a beginning, a middle, and an end.  I like how his sacrifice impacts the rest of the group.  I try to honor that this is what the character wanted and by not letting him have it that im cheapening his sacrifice.  That being said I do have my own headcanons about things but I would say theyre hardly canon divergent.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.   —   -pulls out homeless son from the dumpster- look at him, look at this burnt cinnamon roll.  He may be just a grumpy ol sour-puss but deep down there’s a heart of gold that can’t help but shine through.  Despite his reputation, my boy is wholesome and caring who will always go out of his way to help those in need even if he’ll deny it every time.  Just because he’s crunchy on the outside doesnt mean he aint soft on the inside. -tosses him back in the dumpster-

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).   —  Boy I sure hope you like building character relationships at a snails pace because hoo boy is it gonna take a long ass time for you to get anywhere with this boy.  Opening up? What’s that?  How to do?  He doesn’t want to get to know you or your muse.  He just wants to be left alone so he can die in peace.  Don’t bother him.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?   —   I dunno.  I replayed Persona 3 and just really really liked him.  Been in the RP game for a few years at that point and decided, meh fuck it.  If I don’t like it, I’ll just delete.  

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?   —   His struggle is something I hold very near to me and really cut me deep and still does.  Also all of you who think of me and wanna do things with me and my interpretation of Shinjiro <3

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE?   YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? (I believe that I do/am very confident in my portrayal)

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS?   YES / NO / SORT OF? (I think about them alot but seldom write them down.  Maybe I’ll start since Im actually starting to use tags to organize stuff)

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES?   YES / NO (Yep yep yep.  Somethings start as drabbles that make it into the thread (-cough the flashback of Mitsuru leaving the dorms in a thread I have going with @niflheimqueen​-))

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY?   YES / NO

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL?   YES / NO / SORT OF? (tons of praise throughout the year from the community has made me confident that my portrayal is well-liked)

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING?   YES / NO / A LITTLE BIT. (sometimes when I’m on, I’m on.  Other times I look at my writing and am just like ‘dude find a different hobby’ but I keep on keeping on and the highs have been way better than any low ive gone through.

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON?   YES / NO. / SORTA.

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?   —   Aye if its constructive hit me.  But if you’re just hating then that’s not much use to me.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?   — Fuck me up with this shit

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  — Sure, though I haven’t really had that happen before

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?   —  Live and let live.  Throughout the years there have been other Shinji’s out there who’s interpretation I’ve looked at and been like ‘nah this aint it chief’ but hey you know what’s real easy to do?  Not give a shit, live and let live.  So if someone didn’t agree with it, I wowuldn’t much care if they liked it or didn’t  its my interpretation and if they have a problem with it and make a point to come at me about it in a way that isn’t constructive then I’d say they have the bigger problem.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?  — I’d be sad because he’s a good boy.  But again, if you really dont like him that much you don’t have to interact :’)

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?   —   Ye, I make em a lot sometimes (especially if Im tired or something else).

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?  —  I think so?   I haven’t been told that I’m not easy going and I’ve always felt very approachable.  I don’t always respond to dm’s but that’s because sometimes I’m busy but im always down to talk ooc.  It’s fun :’)

[boredzoomerpire]

Found a nice ask meme on questionslisting, good.

Get to know me

1. Name: Lucian Michaelis

2. Age: 21

3. City that you live in: Won't say the city, but it's California.

4. What do most people not know about you? I'm not American by birth. Oh yeah, also the vampire thing. But I figure more people know that, bizarre as that is to think about.

5. What do most people know you for? I dunno. Being the baby-faced guy with two cats who doesn't go out in the sun. You'd have to ask my neighbors.

6. Hobbies: Gaming, writing, reading, singing. Dancing, somewhat.

7. What are your passions? Writing poetry and tending to cats. Music in general.

8. What do you search for in a significant other? A big heart and a sweet smile. Nice figure would be a plus, but ah well.

7. What are you most proud of? My poetry.

8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love? I spent hours talking to my cats last night. Unless you mean love in *that* sense. Forgot that one.

9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it? I collect video games.

10. List 10 things off of your bucket list. See the Taj Mahal and the Pyramids, write dialog for a video game, find the love of my life, find a way to eat something again, can't think of more.

11. What was the last thing you learned? How to post something on this blasted website.

12. How many relationships have you been in? Three.

13. Turn ons: Bright eyes, sweet smile, sense of humor, so on.

14. Turn offs: An empty cranium or an empty conscience.

15. Favorite food: none

16. Favorite drink: take a guess.

17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received? A puppet show

18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? Quite optimistic.

19. Do you sleep during class? Yes.

20. What is the most expensive thing you own? My computer. I pieced it together, but it can't be less than a few grand.

21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own? Old flip phone. Worthless now, but it still works well and so I can keep an Italian number so my grandparents in Europe can call.

22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone? A lot.

23. Text or call? Text.

24. Opinion on long distance? Not sure.

25. What is your definition of success? Being happy to wake up.

26. Favorite song? Too many to list

27. Favorite artist? Possibly Abney Park, not sure though.

28. Celebrity crush/crushes? None.

29. When was the last time you read for fun? Today.

30. Favorite flower? Peonies and roses.

31. What is the best gift you could receive right now? A car. My Honda is as old as I am.

32. Any guilty pleasures? Corny pop songs.

33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself? I'd love to look slightly less like a kid.

34. What do you search for in a friend? I dunno. What happens happens.

35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month? Didn't keep count.

36. Where did you last go other than your room/home? Work.

37. Why do bad things happen to good people? Destiny has no morals.

38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye? I can probably regenerate my eye better than my heart.

39. How many green shirts do you own? None. Green isn't my cup of tea.

40. Do you like anime? Sorta.

41. What do you invest the most time in? Gaming.

42. What was the name of the last book you read? The Book Thief. Brilliant.

43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone? You like someone's superficial manners and appearance, and love someone's flaws.

44. Where are you most productive? At my desk with some music in my ears.

45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends. Talking, drinking tea, gaming.

46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone. Reading, listening to music, gaming.

47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist? Sure, when everyone's either dead or too tired of this shit.

48. Do you have any allergies? I used to be allergic to mosquitoes. No really. It wasn't fun. Oh yeah, and wasps.

49. When was the last time you cussed at someone? I cussed at Diane a couple hours ago. Coffins aren't scratching posts. Neither are arms

50. What was the last promise you made? I promised a friend I'd babysit their dog.

51. What was your last dream about? Waking up in a morgue. Fuck that nightmare.

52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be? Not sure.

53. How many countries have you visited? Italy, the United States, Scotland--that makes 3.

54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.) Writing.

56. When was the last time somebody complimented you? Yesterday Tommy said my outfit looked nice.

56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself? I'm the one with the over the top sense of style.

57. Do you consider yourself mature? No.

58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr? None. Yet.

59. What is your favorite quote? None in particular.

60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be? Don't hurt cats, don't be an ass, gift me an article of clothing at least once.

61. What is your greatest accomplishment? Getting Diane to tolerate Sardine.

62. Do you believe in the death penalty? Not really.

63. What are your goals for life? To find love and travel the Earth

64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now? Not even sure I am

65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world. | Not sure, truth be told. Possibly Vivec City from The Elder Scrolls. Dunno why, it seems cool.

66. What were you like in 2013? 8 years ago... oh god, I was a 13-year-old. 8th grade. Detentions on the daily, my stupid eggy ass saw confrontation as the "MaNlY" thing to do. Fucking hell, why did you have to dig that up? Nobody deserves to hear tales of stupid little boy Lucian.

67. Do you have a job? Yep. Graveyard shift at the nearby pharmacy. Dull, but I've got to have it.

68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend. Ah yes, guy named Tommy. He's trying to break into acting now and starting to see some results. When we were kids, he and his sister staged a whole-ass puppet show for my birthday. Didn't tell me. I smile to this day when I think about it

69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be? Making people more open-minded, that's for sure.

70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before? ...I've been pulling all-nighters every day for months now.

71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website? Spotify does it for my favorite website. Lots of music.

72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars? I don't much care for a million dollars. So long as I can pay rent and packs, I'm fine.

73. Does money equal happiness? Nah. I'm about ten times happier now scraping by than I was when I lived with my family and had all the money in the world.

74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime? Often, but I don't really keep count.

75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime? I haven't kept count of that either. Often. I'm an emotional guy.

76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told? An Italian joke about the Last Supper.

77. When was the last time you looked at the news? This morning. Yay on the US being first in the medal rankings of the Olympics. Slightly less yay on Italy being 10th

78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say? "Good afternoon!" Everything past that sounds like too much of a hassle.

79. What is your favorite animal? Cats and bats.

80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it? Ask someone who isn't dead.

81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at? Dunno.

82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get? I used to sleep pretty regularly, midnight to seven or eleven to six. The vampire thing isn't helping my sleep schedule any, though. I'm awake past 3 PM, and don't usually get over 5 hours of sleep.

83. Does age necessarily equal maturity? Nah, I've met some old idiots.

84. What is your favorite clothing store? There's a little clothing shop near where I live. I'd never wanna leave.

85. In the winter- beanies or gloves? Don't know, can't feel the cold (though contrary to popular belief, it gets cold in California)

86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail? A fish tail. People weren't made to fly. Says the one who *can* fly, but I don't like it.

87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it? I don't know, I don't think I care enough.

88. What do you fear the most? Destruction.

89. How many digits of pi can you recite? 3.14. Yep, that's it.

90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be? 2019, probably. No pandemic, stuff in my life started falling into place...

91. Describe yourself in one word. Restless

92. Describe your last victory. I beat a friend of mine at Pokemon Platinum. Nobody expects bug types.

93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen? I've seen a few. Couple UFOs.

94. What is something you will never forget? The stars. Shit, the stars. You simply don't forget the first time you see them with eyes like mine.

95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail? I've already got a treasonous overly-vivid memory. Wouldn't trade it for forgetfulness.

96. Have you ever broken a bone before? Well, yes, I think I broke my arm a few weeks ago. Not entirely sure because I can't exactly go to a doctor, but pretty sure. I can say this: regenerating bone sucks even with a regenerating power.

97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody? Meh. I tend to keep it to "like" and "dislike".

98. Coffee or tea? Tea's tastier, but coffee's more effective.

99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way? Funnily enough, lately I've definitely decided to work on my life. I've been taking care to brush my hair more, and to enjoy the small things more.

100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today? Hell if I know.

[specialagentfluffstein]

All those asks that you havent answered yet

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal. I’m lactose intolerant so I try to use just enough milk that I’m not eating dry cereal. Dry cereal is a different snack. 

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? No. 

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Whatever is close. Usually random coupons. 

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Coffee with creamer, tea on its own. Unless it’s chai. I like chai with oat milk or vanilla creamer.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? I used to be, but now I love smiling for the camera, at strangers, pretty much all the time. But I also spent a lot of time practicing and figuring out how to smile without looking weird when I was 9 and super self conscious. 

6: do you keep plants? Yes! I have a plant that might be a Kalanchoe that I’ve managed to keep alive for a few years, despite always forgetting to water it and 3 butt succulents (living stones). 

7: do you name your plants? Nope. Although I do refer to the butts as “The Butts”.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I write, mostly. 

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yes. I tend to sing song if I’m talking to myself.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Side.

12: what’s your favorite planet? Jupiter! Even though that’s where boys go to get more stupider. 

13: what’s something that made you smile today? I found some pictures of my mom in college and we look really similar. 

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Lots of color. Lots of tchotckes and disney stuff. Jackson Pollock’s Circumcision above the couch.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Jupiter is the fastest spinning planet in our solar system. 

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Is it pasta? It’s my favorite. Unless it has capers. 

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Pink!

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. So one time my BF and I went on a road trip up the oregon coast and then to Seattle. He was getting tired on our Seattle leg of the journey so we swapped and I drove for a while. I drive a ford and he drives a subaru. We were in the subaru, and I went to put it in drive, but instead turned the windshield wipers on full blast. Out of habit, I pulled down on it, since that’s where the gear shift is in my truck. His is not. I have yet to live it down.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I do! I have a planner for dates and scheduling stuff, a Bullet Journal that I keep my mood tracker and habit tracker and various lists in, a gratitude log, and my ‘write about your day and your feelings’ journal. I just filled my last one, and now I get to start a new one!

20: what’s your favorite eye color? Blue.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I have a 5.11 backpack that I used in college, and then used to travel, and now I’m currently using it as my roller derby bag. It’s super versatile. And I can put patches and pins on it.

22: are you a morning person? Yes. Or at least I pretend to be.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Knit and watch TV.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? My counselor. 

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? An old abandoned mansion. I was on a ride along and the cop I was with wanted to check for “juvenile delinquents.”

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? My pink double tongue low top converse.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? I feel like there was a strawberry watermelon hubba bubba flavor I loved as a kid, but maybe I imagined it. 

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? Pspsps’s at literally every cat they see.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yes. 

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I love socks. I’ve knitted myself four pairs, and I love wearing disney socks and I just love socks. 

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. My friends and I are boring old people and we are asleep at 3 am. 

33: what’s your fave pastry? Uhhh.. At this point in my life anything gluten free that doesn’t taste like cardboard. 

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? A stuffed rabbit. Their name is ‘ruggy bunny’. It’s made from chenille. I still have them and as a full fledged adult sleep with them (and all my other squishy friends). 

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? So. Fucking. Much. I love Sakura Jelly Roll pens and washi tape and stickers and felt tip pens and ink joy pens and I love the crayola Take Note line and anything from The Happy Planner. I love it all so much. 

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? Deee-Lite or The The

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I like keeping it clean. I used to say my room always needed to be Teen Vogue ready, back when Teen Vogue would have pics of some famous girl in her bedroom on the last page. 

38: tell us about your pet peeves! Other drivers. 

39: what color do you wear the most? I usually wear quite a few different colors, especially in the summer.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? My uncle (who’s not my uncle, just a close family friend) bought me a diamond necklace when I was 10, because he said my first diamond shouldn’t be from a boy, so that way it would just be another piece of jewelry, and not my ‘first diamond.’ In hindsight, that was kind of a cool thing to do, because now I don’t feel like I have to keep or get rid of jewelry just because of who I associate it with. If it’s a nice piece, it’s a nice piece. It’s not my first diamond. 

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Outlander. It’s so well researched, and it’s got political intrigue and smut but I never felt like I was being talked down to or treated like a dumb reader. 

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I do! It’s a local place and it’s got old squashy couches and different tables and big windows. One location looks out over the marina here. 

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? My boyfriend.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Not any time within recent memory. 

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yes. They’re usually right. 

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. How does NASA throw a party? They Planet!

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Cashews. 

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Yes. Getting left behind in the grocery store. 

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I love buying records, I’ve slowed down on CDs in favor of vinyl. I bought Johnny Jewel’s Themes for Television. 

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Taxidermy and furs. 

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Joe Jacksons “Is She Really Going Out With Him?” 

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? Anything Baby Yoda. 

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I’ve seen RHPS, and been to a midnight showing. I love it. I’ve also seen Beetlejuice, it’s not my fave, but it’s fun. 

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My boyfriend when we discovered our favorite pho place closed. 

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? Everything I do is a dramatic thing to prove a point. 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Laughs! I love peoples laughs. 

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? So good. I’ve been drinking, and I sang it quietly to myself with all the voices. 

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? Why? I struggle with this classification of women and the exploitation of the rampant alcoholism among women who are likely suffering from depression in addition to alcoholism. 

59: what’s your favorite myth? That David Bowie had two different colored eyes. And cryptid stuff. 

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I like poetry from the 20th century, and I love slam Poetry. My all time favorite poem is William Carlos Williams’ “This is Just To Say”

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? Both of these can be answered with “Bath and Body Works Body Wash”

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Sometimes! I love orange juice. 

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I want to be, when I have the space. My records are in alphabetical order. 

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Dark Blue

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? My two besties who are kicking ass and living their best life in South Korea. 

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Massive and full of really bright flowers. Sunflowers and carnations and gerber daisies and just so much color. 

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? They make me feel like cuddling by a fire.

68: what’s winter like where you live? Fucking. Miserable. 

69: what are your favorite board games? Monopoly! I also like card games. 

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nope. I ain’t fucking around with that shit. 

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? Chai, green, and Thai. 

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? Yes.

73: what are some of your worst habits? Popping any joint I possibly can and peeling my nail polish (which is why I will never get gels).

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. They are very tall and do the best John Mulaney impression. 

75: tell us about your pets! I don’t have any. :(  But I want three corgis named Navy Bean, Gerladine, and Jolene. And a pitbull named Korg. 

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? Probably going through my clothes so I can find my Star Wars shirt for Monday. 

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink. I don’t really like lemonade, but I love the pink lemonade lip smackers chapstick I have. 

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? Very firmly in the hateclub. 

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? My mom made me an advent calendar one year with little makeup things and trinkets wrapped individually and hung from the ceiling. It was so fun.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Sleeping Beauty Castle Pink! One wall has glitter! Yes I did! I love pink and it looks nice with all my bright furniture. 

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. The spine of my copy of The Hatchet. 

82: are/were you good in school? Yes. I was built for the American School System and now that I can’t prove my worth with papers and multiple choice tests I’m kinda struggling. 

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? I love the cover of The Velvet Underground and Nico that Andy Warhol did and the cover of Led Zeppelin III with the rotating art. 

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Yeah! I want a lightning bolt (a la Bowie or The Killers) on my ankle and my sister and I want to get some matching ones of Chuckie Chickenhawk (my grandfather’s event mascot)

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? I do, although not as much as I used to. I love Nightwing. 

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Yeah! I love Marty Robbins’ Gunfighter Ballads, and of course David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust. 

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Everything except minimalism, and even then I like that a little bit. But I love abstract and pop art. But really I just love art. I love going to museums when I travel. 

89: are you close to your parents? My mom hell yeah!

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I love Seattle. I love the art and how much there is of it! I also have a soft spot for Meeker CO, weird republican little town that it is. 

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Ahahahahahahahaha. Ha. *soft crying*

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Depends on the pasta dish. 

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Well when I don’t have horrible too long quarantine hair, and it’s at shoulder length, I like wearing it down or half up. Lately it’s been in a ponytail or a bun. 

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My neighbor turned 30.

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Gonna go roller skate at the outdoor roller hockey rink on Saturday and then go do some shooting on blm land on Sunday. 

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I am a horrible procrastinator. 

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ESTJ, Virgo, Slytherin or Gryffindor. On my first pottermore account I got Gryffindor, and then I could figure out my password so I made another one and got Slytherin. 

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? I went hiking two weekends ago and it was awesome!

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. The Killers’ Battleborn, The The’s This Is The Day, Deee- Lite’s Groove Is In The Heart, Panic! At The Disco’s That Green Gentleman, The Avett Brothers’ Head Full Of Doubt/Road Full Of Promise (actually, anything by the Avett Bros resonates with my soul.)

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? Why? Five years in the future. Because hopefully I’d be in a more stable place in my life. 

Thanks for Asking!

[fuck-customers]

If you’re not fond of the word cunt, probably best to avoid this one. Also this got very long. I’m not sure how. Also, forgive the typos, I had to drink quite a bit after today

This woman. I can hear her wretched voice even while I’m running the drive thru. So I’ve just sent two people on break cause we’re behind cause its Sunday and we’re fucked. Got my primary closer running front and putting dishes away, and I’m running drive thru and making drinks. We’re not horribly busy so I’m able to handle it for the most part.

This woman, this fucking cunt. I can hear her around the corner over by drive thru. I know what she orders. A large iced coffee and a medium blended drink. So I finish my order in the dt and go to grab the drinks for this raging cunt. I’ve already heard her bitching at T because the guys in front of her waited at the register for 30 seconds at the register for their pastry to come out of the oven. So cunt nugget here gets more and more condescending with T by the second, but I figure he can handle it, he’s an adult and I know he can manage. If nothing else he can watch his temper or grab the other senior worker off break to aid him.

So I know what cunt ordered. I heard it between my orders. I know. She ordered a large sweetened iced coffee, and a medium ridiculous choco mint blended drink. I start with the coffee. Its gonna take me 15 seconds to make, I figure it’ll bide her over so I can spend the 90 seconds on the other drink.

I put sweetener in. Cunt goes “ is that for my iced coffee?????!?!?!?”

Yes, it is

“IT ISNT SWEETENED. DONT PUT SWEETENER IN IT. Don’t give me any room, either, I want it full!!!11!!1”

Fine bitch. That’s how its gonna be. Thank the gods I have a couple minutes free of dt orders so I can focus on the lady cunts beverages. Good.

So I remake her coffee, and make sure to short it a bit and put too much ice in it. And I take my time, too. Cunt, you were rude to me, that’s fine. My guy over there? T? He had to walk off the floor because of you. Fuck you, cunt.

So I hand that to,her, at this point I’ve decided to let my RBF do the talking and don’t say a word. I’m watching her. I’m listening to every huff and puff from cunt face here. She goes, “and I want ice water. I want two. And I want a TRAY”.

Mhm. Now you’ve got to me. I already wasn’t happy. I’m stressed. I don’t make enough money here. I’m tired. I’m not and sticky and I’m over being here. Now you use your condescension towards me. I’m not happy about it going toward my coworkers, especially as a supervisor.

I don’t take condescension well. I’ve had enough of it in my short life, and from a raging, infected CUNT with a giant rock on her hand, in clothes I could never even dream of. Shoes that fit? And THAT haircut? Well, I’m over you cunt.

So I tell her that they’re in a badket, across our counter right in front of her face. She scoffs. I roll my eyes. I no longer care. She came in raging, she’ll leave that way, and nothing I do will change that. So maybe I can incense her and put a smile on T’s face.

Finally I start on her drink. I ’ve tot done fast, and rihht, and set it on the counter. I turn to get her waters.

At this point I have stopped listening and am plotting my roast for over the headset while I fill the water cups.

“Are those mine?! UGH I WANT LARGES. L A R G E S. YOU Didn’T LISTEN.”

This is after I’ve already filled them. I take my time slowly pouring them out and dropping the cups into the trash. I realize this is wasteful, and I do feel bad, but I want to incense the cunt further.

A scowl on my face, I grab two large cups. And I short them an inch, cunt.

I turn away to take a dt order. We are no longer slow. We’re busy and I don’t have time for your infection, cunt.

“Is this mine? THIS WAS SUPPOSED TOBE A LARGE. HE DIDNT LISTEN TO ANYTHING I TOLD HIM. HE. DOESNT LISTEN. I SAID LARGE I WANT A LARGE.”

Keep in mind this is over a period of about 4 minutes TOPS. Sorry for keeping you so long, this is just how it really felt to me.

So I take the medium, that she ordered. And I dump it. Loudly into the sink. Clearly grimacing and ignoring her while I take an order. I remake her drink. By this point on one if the girls on break had come back up and is cleaning the cold bar counter, so I am lazily waltzing around collecting the ingredients into the blender. We have to completely pull the whole counter apart so everything for teas and blended stuff gets spread around so we can clean properly.

I take two minutes to make this. Oh I forgot something whoops. Gotta blend it again cause I didn’t put it in the first time. Oh, I got a tea? The girl who ordered it was POLITE WELL I BETTER MAKE THST FIRST. Cunts frozen drink sits in the blender, and separates a tad. I call out the tea. The young lady smiles at me and I hand her her drink with a straw, with a grin and a too-sweet thank you. I drop the smile as soon as she turns.

So Cunts drink. I made it with extra ice, less of the emulsifier, too much mint, not enough chocolate, and just a bit too much room. Not quite filled and short on whip. I am very done with this woman trying to speak to me about T needing ‘to learn, or be fired’, how I was ignoring this raging, infectious cunt, and how she deserved to be treated better.

I am not quite sure how I didn’t jump the counter at this bitch. I have had far, far worse people. But cunt just made my blood boil. One sentence out of Cunts mouth made my blood boil. I damn near slammed her drink on the counter and walked to the back.

She’s a meme now.

[azurera]

I know you are supposted to get one in your askbox. but guess what. i dont give a shit, and i’m bored as fuck so i did them all. my memory is shit atm so i dont remember some answers to some of these. and my grammar is shit but do with it what you want. g’night ya’ll ~

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more milk, because i can always drink the extra milk, the other way around you would end up with dry cereal and thats just bleh.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? no

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? everything i can find. most unique thing is probably a 10 Gulden bill (very old dutch currency before the euro) 

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I trow as much crap in my coffee as i possible can, sugar, milk. more milk than coffee. give it to me cold, add alcohol. i dont give a shit. thea is just nice to have a little suger thats it. let me enjoy the flaver itself. 

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? 9/10 times probably yeah

6: do you keep plants? since a few weeks i sometimes get flowers, so you could say i kind of own plants some times. 

7: do you name your plants? i should 

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? i scream into the void

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? no, because i sound terrible 

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side mostly. or when im really tired my back. usually not my stomach because .. well.. boobs. 

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? if i had friends.... no idea tho. i have so many jokes, my life included. 

12: what's your favorite planet? PLUTO. VIVA LA PLUTO. the little rings on saturn are also nice. shit this could have been a nice opportunity to make a uranus joke.. 

13: what's something that made you smile today? i didnt

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? lots of pillows

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! 99% of our soular system’s mass is the sun

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? i dont know. but those swirly things are cute. 

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? every. colour. at. once.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. i try to stack those memories far far away. 

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i dont 

20: what's your favorite eye color? i dont have a favorite eye colour. but i love eyes that look like space nebulas. 

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. i bought a nice leather bag on castlefest. its very usefull nice and small but it can fit more in it than you think. 

22: are you a morning person? if by morning you mean still awake at 4, then yes. 

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? lay my dead body to rest on my couch and cuddel with my cat

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? probably not

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? my own house? i dont really break into places. 

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i have to many shoes man..

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? the really over the top fruity onces

28: sunrise or sunset? sunset, (becouse im not a fucking morning person) 

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? im thinking of to many things at once and yet nothing comes up. 

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? way to many times. 

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. i only own black socks, becouse then you never have the problem of looking for a pair. sometimes im all for socks, i wear them even when i take of all my other clothes just becouse they are soft and then i wear them to bed and they magicaly disappear. but since i wear dresses a lot i also wear panty’s and stuff. so its not always socks. 

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. usually that invloves a lot of alcohol. which means that i don’t really rememeber a lot. (which is also probably for the better) 

33: what's your fave pastry? pie

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i think it was a little lion called simba. and im sure its in a box somewhere. 

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? yes i love them. but i dont use them a lot becouse a) not many people write me letters and b) i could. write them first. but obviously im a lazy fuck. 

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? i just really prefer silence right now. 

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i like keeping it clean, but we all know thats not happening. 

38: tell us about your pet peeves! i do not know right now. i think

39: what color do you wear the most? black..... 

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? the 3 things I always wear are a ring my grandma got me, a ring my mother bought for my 18 birthday that she switched her old wedding rings for. and a mjolnor necklace. I just saw so many people with one. and i really wanted to have one aswell, but not just any, so i went and looked all over this fantasy event and i’ve honestly seen every single mjolnor necklace they had, and then i picked this one. 

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? the girl on the train was a nice book (the film a little less)  it was just nice to have a book that i could go through quickly. 

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! not really 

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? god its been to long... 

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? i still wish for this day... 

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? mmmaybe

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i can not make one up right now. i need to have the righ feel in the right moment. 

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? PINAPPLE ON PIZZA, PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA, PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? death. yes.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I only own a few CD’s, and a few LP’s the last one i think was a supernatural christmas cd thing.

50: what's an odd thing you collect? those prayer cards with the picture of the person, you get at a funeral. i have quite a lot of them, so you could say i collect them. 

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? suddenly

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? i like the “you cant xx if you don’t xxx” memes. those make for some good jokes. other than that i make my own memes, fresh and local. 

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? only parts... i should watch them shouldn’t i..

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? u know who u are.. im sorry.. 

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? i secretly moved out in a pretty dramatic way to prove my mom that i couldnt go on like that... 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? when they shut the fuck up

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? i do not feel like listening to it now, thats how its making me feel. 

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im both.

59: what's your favorite myth? nice people are my favorite mythical creatures. 

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? im not really into poetry tho, but sometimes there is one thats just nice, discribing beaty in such a subtle way, that i like it. 

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? i don’t give stupid gifts. people either get something epic from me or nothing at all. go big or go home. 

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? ive been drinking this strawberry/apple/ bananna juice stuff sometimes, makes me feel like i try to be healthy. 

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i keep them in an organized mess (just like my life) 

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? its a lovely gradient of light blue/white/ to a bit darker blue. 

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? so many people, i suck at being social. 

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? ALL THE COLORS

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? sometimes its nice to stare out of the window on those days. 

68: what's winter like where you live? shitty 

69: what are your favorite board games? i like playing monopoly and slowly see the light dissappear from my friends eyes. or cluedo you know, murder. 

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? its this one thea they have at the cinema, the pink one. the rosy stuff. its so good. 

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? i should note it down. but then i forget to read it. so yeah, ill mess up either way. 

73: what are some of your worst habits? i tent to complain a lot, becouse i always hope it will make me feel better when there is to much going on in my head. but sometimes i just keep going, and i dont even know how bad its getting, and i probably pull myself down into some negative spiral and well then we’re fucked again.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. you fucking pancakes. 

75: tell us about your pets! MY CAT IS THE MOST ADORABLE LITTLE SHIT, HE IS SO CUTE. AND LOVES CUDDLES. AND HIS FLUFFYNESS IS. i can keep going forever. 

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? its getting pretty late. i should sleep. 

77: pink or yellow lemonade? mmmpink? 

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? i hate them. 

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? im trying to think of one. but my memmory is shit atm. 

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? just white. makes it look bigger. 

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. NEBULAS

82: are/were you good in school? soommeeetimessss

83: what's some of your favorite album art? I do like GACKT his album art tho. the costumes he wears are nice.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? i have been thinking of this design of a music G thingy that looks like a cat. its really cute. but i cant even commit to where i put a sticker let a lone where to put a tattoo. 

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? i have quite a lot of constantine comics, to satisfy the fact that the series quit after 1 season. 

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? no idea

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? stonehenge appocalpyse

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? not sure

89: are you close to your parents? *crying sounds* 

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. i love all cities except the one i live in. Im such a slut for older building and architecture. old gothic churches man. oh my god. 

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? france, for sad stuff, and i hope to see my german potato this year <3 if i can make it... 

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? SMOTHER THE FUCKER IN CHEESE. 

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? just long, straight now. or either in like a clip. when its to hot  to have it all down. 

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? i saw on my calander at internship that one collegue had his birthday today. 

95: what are your plans for this weekend? convention staff meeting on saturday, looking into something for sunday.. 

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? *hysterical laughter*  

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? no idea, leo, huffelpuf

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? in germany i think. to long ago. i love mountains, and walks, and beaches. 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. PIANO’S 

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past to kill myself. :”D absoluutly.

[styrac0saurus]

Get To Know My Hunter

Tagged by @thesaint-jimmy

Bloodborne OC meme courtesy of @princeofmorley

We all know Bloodborne can be a difficult fandom for OCs given the vagueness of the lore, but a lot of us still enjoy coming up with stories for our hunters. I hadn’t seen an OC meme for Bloodborne so I figured I’d make one myself!

These are all the questions I could think of without getting into the nitty gritty of the lore. Of course, all questions are optional. You can remove any question you don’t want to answer, or add questions I might’ve forgotten!

Feel free to use this template as you wish! I’d love to read about other people’s hunter OCs, so be sure to tag it as #bloodborne oc meme so I can read yours!

Put my response under a ReadMore because there were a lot of questions! Please know that I haven’t played Bloodborne yet so some responses may seem a little off because I’m filling in gameplay knowledge based on what I’ve experienced in Dark Souls I and the Bloodborne wiki.

Name: Antares Mai Quyen Nickname(s): Auntie (sometimes Auntie Antares when addressed by their younger charges), Mai-Mai (used only by their parents when they were young) Age: 33 Gender: Non-Binary Agender (they/them pronouns) Sexuality: No strict preference for any gender, they’re currently in a relationship with a woman Height/Build: 6′5″ and fairly thickset (muscular with some fat over everything)

Personality description:  A reserved Hunter of Hunters, though those who become close friends with Antares know they are capable of sincere affection. The hunter is usually mindful of their size, choosing to talk quietly and walk slowly so that they don’t intimidate people, but also so that they don’t constantly bump their head into ceiling stuff and startle people with their outbursts of pain. Such gentleness is something that was internalized from being raised as a girl in a Vietnamese household (speaking from personal experience as a AFAB NB Viet). Children adore Antares and Antares adores them back, always willing to give the smaller ones either some sweets or a lift onto their shoulders. Indeed, the hunter seems to have a respectable position in Yharnam. However, Antares heavily dissociates and experiences extreme self-loathing in private because they are actually an Abhorrent Beast finally corrupted by the Old Blood. More to come about those sentiments and how Antares finally (sorta) succumbed to the scourge later.

Physical description:  Like most in their covenant, Antares wears the Crowfeather set around Yharnam. A modification of the Vietnamese áo dài is worn underneath all of the set’s heavier layers for casual wear though. During the daytime, they might wear the whole Crowfeather set minus the mask and hat if the weather’s not too warm because they find the overall outfit comfortable, even though most hunters may choose to separate work from daily life so people don’t stare at them. Antares doesn’t really mind such attention because they’re used to rude oglings, having grown up as an Asian (thick black hair, light to medium brown skin, almond eyes, etc. typical of Vietnamese people) in a mostly White European place like Yharnam. The hunter probably gets more stares because they’re relatively large and androgynous so there are plenty of people curious about Antares’s “true gender.” The hunter always replies stoically to gender questions, but replies may leave people more confused because their coherence reaches the shitpost plane of existence.

BACKSTORY

Introduce your hunter and their backstory. Alright this meme got so long that I got super tired of writing responses so maybe I’ll go back and edit this post, but read this other post for some backstory in the meantime.

Which class/origin did you choose for your hunter? Does this tie into their backstory? Lone Survivor, only because I usually start off as a tank character in Dark Souls before I build up my Endurance/Stamina. This origin definitely doesn’t tie into Antares’s backstory because they aren’t from the Fishing Hamlet.

Where is your hunter from? What brought them to Yharnam? Antares was born in Yharnam, but closer to the outskirts of the city where the relatively more common class people live. Their father traveled to Byrgenwerth from Saigon to study and brought their mother to the city later while she was pregnant with Antares. So really, Antares grew up as a Milquetoast with their father eventually working in the Byrgenweth libraries and their mother working in the clinic that would someday belong to Iosefka/Imposter Iosefka.

Did your hunter know any of the characters from the game before they entered the Hunter’s Dream? Yeah, they knew Eileen the Crow and then some of the other Yharnam hunter NPCs by extension. Antares also knows of the Old Hunters, but they haven’t met them. Other NPCs they don’t really know about if they appear outside the actual city streets of Yharnam (Micolash, Yurie, the Madara twins, etc.).

Had they fought beasts before entering the Dream, or is this their first experience as a hunter? Antares has definitely fought beasts before coming to the Dream. They’re a Hunter of Hunters so they’ve killed (and eaten) a few blood-addled hunters as well. 

CHARACTER DETAILS

How do they react to first waking up in the Hunter’s Dream? Do they remember anything about their life before the Dream? Hmm… I’m not really sure how to answer this question since I haven’t played Bloodborne and therefore haven’t had much thought about the Hunter’s Dream. I personally think they would be angry that they can’t Properly Die until they discover a way to leave the Dream. Antares honestly wants to die as a (mostly) human being before they become too blood-addled and kill someone else they loved again. That being said, yes, the Hunter remembers everything about their life for sure, even once they’ve come to the Dream.

Do they align themselves with any Covenants or other factions (the Healing Church, the Choir, the Old Hunters, the Unseen Village, etc)? As previously mentioned, Antares is part of the Hunter of Hunters covenant. Other than that, they don’t really align themselves with any of the other, for lack of a better word, more political covenants in Yharnam.

Do they befriend any NPCs in particular? Make enemies of any NPCs? Haven’t really thought about this because I haven’t played Bloodborne yet. Maybe Antares would be friends with Eileen the Crow, but they might know of Gascoigne, Henryk, and Djura through them also being Eileen’s friends. Meanwhile, they probably wouldn’t really have any enemies. They’re not often aggressive towards most people, I imagine.

Are they in a relationship? If so, with whom? Yes, they’re currently in a relationship with another Bloodborne OC of mine (Miriam Hashmi, a Byrgenwerth scholar).

How does your hunter feel about the Healing Church? About blood ministration? Considering that they’re now a fucking bloodthirsty Beast (not all the time fortunately), they’re probably feeling pretty resentful about the Healing Church and how the Church has continued trying to hide the consequences of blood ministration.

Do they fear the scourge? Are they afraid of turning into a beast? Afraid of becoming blood-addled? Of the unknown Cosmos? What are they afraid of? Antares could honestly care less about the Unknown Cosmos. They tend to worry about more visceral and tangible fears such as the Scourge.  What happens to a Respected Hunter once they become an Abhorrent Beast after all? Being a Hunter of Hunters doesn’t help much and Antares’s anxieties have multiply tenfold when they realize they hunt others just like themselves. Other than being caught and outed, they also have to worry about staying alive for their friends’ sake as well as about succumbing to the corruption and killing the same friends as a blood-addled monster. Should Antares somehow have some conscience returned to them after going on a rampage, the guilt would be too much to handle. 

Does your hunter relish in the Hunt or revile their bloody work? After killing their father while being blood-addled and beastly, I think it’s safe to say that Antares very strongly reviles being a Hunter. Also, it sucks having to eat a blood-addled hunter you once considered a friend just to satisfy your own hunger.

What is your hunter’s attitude towards Gehrman? Do they resent being trapped in the Hunter’s Dream? They don’t really think much of Gehrman after getting over the initial resentment of being trapped in the Hunter’s Dream (see first question of this section for reasoning behind resentment). While perplexed by his presence and the Doll, Antares comes to respect both as the Night goes along. Because they don’t go to the Hunter’s Nightmare to fight Lady Maria, they have no reason to think more negatively of Gehrman otherwise.

Does your hunter sympathize and associate with fellow hunters, or are they more of a loner who avoids other hunters? Do they leave notes for other hunters? Antares will gladly help others in need, but rarely asks for help themselves, especially while hunting a target. The preference for solitude is not based on cockiness, but rather a desire to avoid being outed as a beast if they need to transform to fight a particularly difficult mark and feed on the remains. Messages will be left to warn other hunters to stay away from their hunting territories as a result. However, the warning will be more along the lines of “There’s going to be a dangerous blood-addled hunter here. Don’t come around until I deal with them. - Antares” rather than obviously “There’s going to be a beast a.k.a. me here. Don’t come around if you don’t like seeing excess blood and gore because I need to eat. - Antares.” There might be more messages of a more positive vibe though. Antares might leave cute little sketches for hunters-in-training to find on patrol throughout Yharnam.

Does your hunter worship the Great Ones? Do they worship blood? Or do they have a different belief system? If they’re not devout, what do they value or prioritize in life? Antares certainly has respect for the Great Ones, but they’re not particularly religious otherwise. They prioritize family and close friends more than anything (well… more like just friends at this point in their life since both of their parents have been killed so there are no other really close relatives in Yharnam).

Do they have a special place where they feel safe or “at home”? Is there a place they’re afraid of or that they avoid? Ugh, this will be incredibly sappy, but Antares feels the most at home lying down with their head on Miriam’s thighs. They love having their girlfriend (or wife by the actual game’s timeline I imagine) stroke their hair. As for a place the hunter would be afraid of, it would probably be the Hunter’s Nightmare for reasons already/to be explained. But… it might be an unavoidable fate…

Are there any particular items your hunter holds onto for sentimental reasons, or items that serve to comfort them? A jade necklace and a bracelet made of wooden beads, jewelry that were given to them by their parents when they were a child. The jewelry’s all that’s left of Antares’s happier memories from before their parents were killed.

Do any of the discoveries in the game (about the old blood, the Healing Church, the Great Ones, etc) shock them? How do they react to these revelations? Perhaps the consequences of the Old Blood not so much because Antares is already experiencing their consequences. I guess they would still be shocked by how far back and all-encompassing the Old Blood history goes in terms of the Healing Church and the Great Ones. Some stuff they would feel angry and unsettled about though, especially if they went to the Hunter’s Nightmare as someone trying to figure out what the hell is really happening in Yharnam (but that isn’t really their main questline I suppose).

Does your hunter want to discover the secrets of the Healing Church and the origins of the scourge, or do they just want to kill some beasts and escape the Dream? What motivates them? I mean, they might discover some secrets during the Night, but they ultimately just want to escape the Hunter’s Dream.  Honestly, I don’t really know how to answer this question until I actually play Bloodborne.

How does your hunter feel about being effectively immortal? How do the unending deaths affect them over the course of their time in the Dream? See previous questions about Antares’s opinions of the Dream.

COMBAT AND STATS

Which primary stat does your hunter most rely on (Strength, Skill, Bloodtinge, Arcane)? Do they prioritize Vitality or Endurance? Strength and Endurance would be emphasized, with some Skill since Antares does wield the Blades of Mercy. Vitality might also be increased once Antares becomes a beast, but they don’t often prioritize this stat otherwise.

What are your hunter’s trick weapon and firearm of choice? Why? Saw Cleaver and Hunter’s Pistol are the usual combo. However, Antares can also wield the Blades of Mercy if they’re fighting a more skilled enemy such as a blood-addled hunter versus a crowd of corrupted beasts.

Do they make use of any hunter tools? Only the Old Hunter’s Bone for Quickening and the Beast Roar for keeping enemies back so that they can transform if needed.

What type of armor do they wear? Why? Usually the Crowfeather Set for style points. Otherwise, whatever has high defense against mostly physical slash/bite/etc. attacks to make up for the lack in emphasis on Vitality.

Describe their fighting style. Antares is not one who likes crowds, whether they consist of people at a Hunters’ Communion or beasts at some bloody hunting ground. They’re more likely to fight enemies one or two at a time, drawing them away from a crowd with pebbles. With their strength, the hunter would hopefully stagger and dispatch enemies quickly this way with just their hunting weapons. Beast mode only gets used when Antares gets desperate and really needs to up their strength even more either against a multitude of enemies or a really tough enemy. Honestly though, Antares usually doesn’t try to fight everything because it would take so much time and effort away from hunting down either a more serious beast or a covenant target.

Which Caryll runes does your hunter keep equipped? Communion to increase the number of blood vials they can hold to make up for a lack in Vitality. Anti-Clockwise Metamorphosis to increase maximum stamina. Hunter to increase stamina recovery so they can quickly restore their Endurance. It is a Covenant rune, though, so it might be replaced by Beast’s Embrace for gameplay mechanic reasons related to Antares’s storyline so that they can transform.

How much Insight does your hunter have? How does this affect them? Not much Insight because Antares care little for the mostly intangible. They still pay close attention to their surroundings nonetheless. However, they can only do so thanks to their heightened beast sense more than anything.

Does your hunter take advantage of Beasthood to fuel their attacks? How does it affect them? Oh my fucking god, all this time, I never knew there was an actual Beast Mode already incorporated into the gameplay. That being said, of course Antare takes advantage of Beasthood to fight. Not all the time though, only when desperate. It really messes with their psyche, though, because they have a hard time reconciling the fact that they’re both human and monster.

Is there a beast or type of enemy your hunter likes to fight? An enemy they avoid? Antares both loves and hates fighting beasts. They feel like they’re fulfilling their duty as a Yharnamite citizen every time they take down a scourge wolf or a blood-addled hunter. But they also feel like they’re succumbing to the scourge more and more because every kill seems to increase their bloodlust. Not to mention looking at every blood-addled hunter keeps reminding Antares of their own possible fate… The more Eldritch looking enemies really just befuddle the hunter in the meantime. Not too much felt when fighting them than some disgust and the previously mentioned confusion at how much creatures could exist.

Do they often summon the Old Hunters or hunters from other worlds to aid them? Not really, Antares is a bit of a lone fighter.

PLOT DECISIONS

Does your hunter’s story deviate from the central plot of Bloodborne? In what ways? I guess so. I’ve mostly filled this meme out for an Antares who exists in @thesaint-jimmy‘s pre-game timeline of the Bloodborne universe. By the game’s time, I would have had Antares become an old hunter who has long left the Dream like Eileen. They would be more like an NPC the Good Hunter encounters.

Does your hunter try to rescue any of the civilians of Yharnam? Are they successful? Of course. Despite their introvertedness, Antares still tries to keep an eye out for others in Yharnam. They are successful only with some, though (namely those NPCs who safely make it to Odeon Chapel except for the crotchety old man and the suspicious beggar). Suspicious beggar dude and Antares immediately sense that they’re both Abhorrent Beasts and fight because they obviously have different thoughts about controlling themselves/endangering people when in Beast Form. Crotchety old man is just a loss Antares grimly but firmly accepts because they’ve gotten so used to losing people over the years of the Hunt. Father Gascoigne’s daughters are another story however because Antares has always been protective of children. To know they indirectly caused the deaths of a former acquaintance’s children brings about a great sense of shame and failure.

Does your hunter kill the Impostor Iosefka or let her continue her work? Thanks to their heightened beast senses, Antares probably smells there being a different Iosefka in the clinic. That certainly raises suspicion so the hunter would check everything out and discover the Celestial Mob experiments, much to their horror. After all, being friends with someone who was once cruelly used for experimentation would make such work leave an incredibly disgusting taste in Antares’s mouth. They’d definitely kill the Imposter Iosefka before mercy-killing all of the Celestial Mobs she’s made for experimentation. 

Do they fight Djura or befriend him? What about Eileen the Crow? Befriend both Djura and Eileen. I imagine them both knowing Antares before the game timeline of Bloodborne.

Do they choose to side with Alfred or Queen Annalise? Perhaps Alfred, though they are a little concerned about his trustworthiness given his evident devotion to Master Logarius.

Does your hunter enter the Chalice Dungeons? I personally would enter the Chalice Dungeons because they seem like cool places to explore and practice combat skills. Antares probably wouldn’t be interested in them though.

Does your hunter enter the Hunter’s Nightmare? Do they defeat the Orphan of Kos? Maybe to the first question and no to the second question. I imagine there could be a timeline where Antares dies as a blood-addled beast so they’re sent to suffer eternally in the Hunter’s Nightmare. 

What is your hunter’s final choice at the end of the game? They accept Gehrman’s offer so they can leave the dream. But hmm… it would be interesting to consider an Antares who decides to take Gherman’s place if they think forever leaving their friends with their humanity still whole would be a better fate than eventually succumbing to the Scourge like Father Gascoigne.  

If they accept Gehrman’s offer, what does your hunter do once they’re free of the Hunter’s Dream? Immediately return home to their loved ones and try to continue living their life as Yharnam continues to descend into Hell. I don’t know to be honest. Antares has never been one to work actively towards the Greater Good, but they’ll provide support as needed.

If applicable, how does your hunter die? I don’t know because I want my Gaysian character to live a wholesome life well into their older years with their loved ones but… I also love Soulsborne style tragedies.

Is there anything else you’d like to share about your hunter? I have a Dark Souls AU version of Antares where they’re far more chill as a character because they’re not a monster trapped in an urban hellhole. If people are interested in either version, though, I have a Soulsborne RP blog for them (@knightantares).

[kariedo]

1-68 and 99

Why are you like this?

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?I tend to put more milk in even though I don’t drink it lmao

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?No I hate the cold with a passion

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?Nothing really cause I haven’t picked up a book in god knows how long lmao

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?I don’t like either unless it has a shit tone of sugar in it

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?Yes

6: do you keep plants?No. Me and plants have some bad blood lmao

7: do you name your plants?No cause I don’t keep plants

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?Generally my tablet or paper

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?Yes

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?usually on my side, but if I’m dead tired my stomach or if I’m drunk my back even though you’re not suppose to lmao

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?The most recent one is “Pete would shit is pants” and “Stupid” lmao

12: what's your favorite planet?Venus lmao

13: what's something that made you smile today?My cat lmao

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?It would be covered in weeb shit let’s be honest lmao That or we would have our fav disney stuff everywhere along with our favorite colors clashing because I’m sure none of us believe in transition colors

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!Please do not. I can’t handle space. I’ll have a crisis lmao

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?All pasta dishes lmao

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?LAVENDER

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.The fucking comment about lean muscle which still haunts me to this day. I opened my stupid mouth when we were talking about body types and I said I preferred lean muscle and literally the next fucking day Joseph Joestar happened and they will never let it go.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?No lmao

20: what's your favorite eye color?I think green eyes are really pretty lmao

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.I don’t really carry around bags. There’s my purse that I’ve had for god knows how long only cause I’m too lazy to clean it out and go look for a new oneplus I’m broke af for a new one

22: are you a morning person?Oh honey no lmao

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?Just lay in my bed and do nothing lmao

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?Yes and sometimes I think I’ve made a mistake cause she’ll always tease me about some stuff lmao

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?A middle school because my friend had to use the bathroom lmao

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?My black knock off vans lmao

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?Just the original bubblegum

28: sunrise or sunset?Sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?They will make doodles or write stuff and I’m such a sucker for that stuff and I cry :’)

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?I live in a constant state of fear lmao

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.I love socks. I have them on constantly except in the summer and it’s only really so I can tan my white ass feet. My fav kind of socks are the really soft and fuzzy ones uwu

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.One time we were drinking and my now current roommate lived by a park and so we went and we were playing on the jungle gym and there was this turning wheel thing that you’d spin on. So we all went on it and I spun on it a little to fast so when I let go I kinda semi ate it but I was fine but my roommate didn’t see this green pole and he slammed right into and was on the ground laughing and crying lmao

33: what's your fave pastry?Doughnuts lmao

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?I used to have this stuffed polar bear and I would refuse to sleep without it, but I think I gave it away or it’s in a box in my stuff somewhere

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?I like pretty pens, but I don’t use them often because my handwriting is shit lmao

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?Tbh just play me emo band for my whole entire life lmao

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?Messy af

38: tell us about your pet peeves!I really hate having to do everything when people just don’t want to do their shit, so I have to pick up the slack.I also hate ignorant people who just refuse to listen to you.

39: what color do you wear the most?I wear a lot of black surprisingly

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?I have a pendent of the arrow head from part 4 and it’s basically cause I’m Jojo trash lmao

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?I don’t think I have ever read a book that’s had a lasting impact on me. Fanfiction on the other hand BOI

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!Not really cause I don’t drink coffee

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?nnipps and she found Maui’s hook lmao

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?Never :)

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?I guess????

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.There was this quiz that I accidentally missed back in CHEM 110 and it was such an easy quiz and one of the fucking questions was a god damn pun and it was: What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium

It haunts me to this day

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?I don’t think I have a food that I hate that much

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?Failure and it’s still holds strong to this day as I am dying in college :)))))

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?I do lmao the last one that I bought myself was Death of Bachelor, but nnipps had to go and buy A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out WHEN I COULD HAV GOTTEN IT MYSELF

50: what's an odd thing you collect?I don’t think it’s odd but I have some pop vinyls and figures. Stuff like that. Then there’s blankets, but that’s mainly cause nnipps always gives me blankets for christmas lmao

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?Does it have to be an actual person lmaoI’ll just use my friend and I just associate “How Far I’ll Go” cause Moana is her fav movie and she loves that song lmao

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?Idk if it’s really a meme, but I’m in love with those bird videos with Becky and Ron lmao I could watch those for hours and quote them

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?Nope never seen any of them

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?Oh jesus um I guess my friend

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?I don’t think I have done anything dramatic to prove a point

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?I really love when people just do nice stuff that other person loves for each other lmao

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?Ok I was literally singing this yesterday with my roommates and we always get into it like the drama queens we are lmao

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?joetaroh-koohoe is definitely the vodka aunt lmao as for wine mom I’m pretty sure the rest of us fall into that category

59: what's your favorite myth?I don’t really have one

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?I do, but I don’t think I have a fav

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?I go all out with presents so I don’t think I’ve given a stupid one or at least I hope I haven’t and then I love all gifts so I never classify any gift as stupid lmao

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?I use to, but ain’t nobody got time for that or breakfast

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?Not really. They are just there chilling lmao

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?Grey

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?I just recently saw my friends for spring break and my other friend is up here so I’m good for now lmao

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?Just a shit ton of carnations lmao

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?Lazy af

68: what's winter like where you live?FUCKING FREEZING AND IT NEVER STOPS RAINING AND I HATE IT

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.Ok if anyone knows me they know that This is Gospel by Panic! at the Disco fucking cripples me. That song just destroys me and I can never listen to it without either crying or just dying.

Death of Bachelor also hits me like a fucking truck along with House of Memories (although that one is because I’m OTP garbage) then there is She Had the World. Lying is the Most Fun a Girl can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off is also a song that gets to me mainly cause that was my first Panic! song lmao Then there is Build God, Then We'll Talk like I just fucking die with that song ESPECIALLY THAT VIOLIN BIT LIKE G O DThen we have Girls/Girls/Boys that sends me into a spiral of emotions.But moving away from Panic! there’s this acoustic version of Touch it by Ariana Grande that had my soul transcend to a whole other dimension. Who was I before that song. The piano and the vocals saved me man. Then there is Knew Better Part II that gets to me like idk what it is but it speaks to me. Then we have Best Mistake that fucking wrecks me too like it speaks to my angsty soul. Then there’s Why Try, One Last Time, and My Everything that also speak to my angsty soul.

Pretty much Panic! at the Disco and Ariana Grande just tend to kill me lmao