#i’m lowkey washed at the moment
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xbomboi · 7 months ago
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Cedar? I Wood-n’t Wanna Be Her!
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after that, she started apologizing to her homework.
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notlongtolove · 10 days ago
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like a lover
he doesn’t answer. he doesn’t even look at you again. he just shakes his head and walks into the bedroom. by the time you follow him, he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor like it holds the answer to whatever’s boiling inside him. fine. If he wants to ice you out, two can play that game.
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader (second person, no y/n)
genre: hurt comfort
content: student!reader gets drunk after a brutal final and spencer is beyond mad. very brief mention of abduction. lowkey spencer is in the right bc #safety but he made reader cry n for that he is found #guilty!!!
word count: 3.1k
note: based off this ask! random fact the last line of this fic was the inspiration for empty my soul but idk why i just couldnt fit it in there, anyways i hope you guys like it! (pls tell me if u do i was struggling with a resolution for this)
a line: Spencer thinks, for a split second, that he’d rather die than ever have to see you cry like that again.
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I give you an onion. It is a moon wrapped in brown paper. It promises light like the careful undressing of love. Here. It will blind you with tears like a lover. It will make your reflection a wobbling photo of grief. I am trying to be truthful. - carol ann duffy
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You probably should’ve stopped five drinks ago—maybe four if you were feeling merciful. That last Vodka cran? A spectacularly bad idea. But whatever. You earned this. You’re young, you’re fun, you look good, and for the first time in weeks, you have no deadlines clawing at you. The final had been a nightmare. You knew your fate was sealed the second you flipped to question three. What the hell is textual and symbolic environmentalisation? But it’s over now. That’s all that matters.
The wind bites at your bare legs as you stand by the curb, aimlessly kicking a pebble. You hug your arms close, fighting off the chill. Maybe you should’ve brought a jacket. Spencer had suggested it, but you’d waved him off. He’s usually right.
You frown, glancing up at the street sign. He said he’d be here. Right? Your phone’s dying battery blinks at you in its final moments, mocking you before shutting off completely. Definitely should’ve taken his offer of a portable charger, too. You sigh, shifting your weight from one foot to the other.
A man stumbles by, reeking of booze. You don’t need to look to know.
"Hey," he calls out, voice slurred and gravelly.
You keep your eyes down, pretending not to hear.
“Hey,” he says again, louder this time.
Where the hell is Spencer?
"D’you know when the bus starts running again?"
You hesitate, half-relieved that he’s asking something semi-coherent. "I—I’m sorry, I’m not sure."
He nods to himself, swaying on his feet. 
"I told you to wait by the bodega on 3rd," a familiar voice mutters. Spencer’s hand closes around your arm, already steering you away.
"Oh, hey," you say softly, relief washing over you. "Is this not—" You glance at the street sign overhead—4 Maple Drive. Shit. "I—sorry, I thought—"
"It’s fine," he says, but the sharp edge in his voice tells you it’s not.
The car ride is suffocatingly silent. When he pulls open the passenger door for you, there’s no trace of his usual warmth. No soft smile, no gentle tease about your perpetually dead phone. Just a click of the door and the quiet thud of it shutting behind you.
You hate this. Hate the tension humming between you, the way his jaw is set tight as he drives. He was so different this afternoon, greeting you after your final with those cupcakes he knows you love from the bakery on the other side of town, his lips brushing yours in endless, giddy kisses. This Spencer is nothing like that. 
"They played ‘Dancing Queen’ tonight," you venture, voice tentative. He knows it’s your favourite. Knows it always pulls you to the dance floor, no matter how tired or tipsy you are. "It was so funny—some guy bought us a round of shots—"
"And you drank it?"
The question lands heavy. His first words to you since he’d started driving. 
"Well... yeah?"
"What else did you drink?"
"Not a lot," you say quickly, tripping over your words. "Just vodka, tequila, a bit of wine—"
"You mixed?" 
The way he says it makes you bristle. There’s a hint of disbelief, maybe even disappointment. 
"Spence," you say softly. "I’m not that drunk, I promise."
Nothing.
His knuckles tighten on the steering wheel. The silence in the air is almost tangible, a crackling, oppressive thing. When he pulls into the driveway and kills the engine, he doesn’t move to open your door. He always does that. But not tonight. 
You’re pretty sure he’s mad at you, though you’re not entirely sure why. It’s not like you go out that often, and you can’t even remember the last time you let yourself get this drunk. Tonight was an exception, a celebration. He understands, doesn’t he?
You follow him inside, trailing behind like a shadow. He doesn’t head to the kitchen like he does after you get back from a night out—no tea, no toast, no quiet ritual of making sure you’re okay. Instead, he walks straight into the study, his back to you. Yeah, he’s definitely mad. 
"You’re mad at me," you say, standing in the doorway.
He doesn’t answer. His hands grip the back of his chair, his head bowed like he’s trying to gather himself. You’re not one to push, usually giving him the space he needs when he gets all broody like this, but the alcohol that’s running through your system is making it hard to practice patience. 
"Why are you mad at me?"
Still nothing. 
When he finally moves, it’s only to brush past you, heading for the bedroom without so much as a glance. "We’ll talk about this tomorrow," he says, his tone flat, clipped. "I can’t talk to you when you’re like this."
This. The word hits like a slap, sharp and dismissive. It irks you. 
"If you didn’t want to come, then you shouldn’t have come," you mutter under your breath, the words slipping out before you can stop them. "I could’ve gotten a ride—"
"You were slurring on the phone." He stops in the hallway, turning just enough for you to see the tight set of his jaw. 
"Yeah, no shit, Spencer. People slur when they drink," you fire back a little too harshly, the alcohol fueling your irritation as you cross your arms defensively.
"Don’t," he warns, his voice low, dangerous in a way that makes your chest tighten.
​​You glare at him, heat rising in your cheeks. "Don’t what? Don’t point out how ridiculous you’re being right now?"
He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t even look at you again. He just shakes his head and walks into the bedroom. By the time you follow him, he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor like it holds the answer to whatever’s boiling inside him. Fine. If he wants to ice you out, two can play that game.
You head to the bathroom without a word, your movements jerky as you swipe at the remnants of your makeup. You grab your moisturizer, fingers fumbling with the cap. A sharp tug and it goes flying out of your hands, clattering to the floor. 
"Fuck," you mutter, bracing yourself for a bout of instability as you bend down to retrieve it.
Before you can grab it, Spencer moves. He scoops it up, straightening with an ease that feels almost mocking. When you meet his eyes, they’re unfamiliar. It’s not the Spencer you know. Not the Spencer who covers your eyes during scary movies or kisses your forehead when you’re half-asleep. No, this Spencer feels distant, cold. 
"And I’m supposed to believe you’re not that drunk," he says flatly. Your chest tightens, a lump forming in your throat as heat flushes your face. He offers a hand as you steady yourself, trying to rise to your feet, but you brush him off, snatching the bottle from his grip with a bitterness you don’t try to mask. 
"What the hell is your problem?" you snap.
"My problem?" he repeats, incredulous. "I’m not the one blackout drunk on a Wednesday night."
"I’m not—"
"Would you—would you just stop!" he barks, the words sharp enough to make you flinch. "You’re slurring your words. You got the streets wrong. You couldn’t even get the damn moisturizer open," he snaps, gesturing toward you harshly with a mixture of frustration and exasperation.
Your knuckles whiten as you cling to the edge of the sink, unsure if you’re holding on for balance or just to keep from breaking. You spin back toward the mirror willing yourself not to cry. The frustration, the confusion, the ache in your chest—everything wells up at once.
"God, you’re being so—"
"So what?" he interrupts, his voice rising as he steps closer. His eyes bore into yours, daring you to say it. "So concerned? So worried? So—"
"So fucking mean!"
The silence that follows deafening. For a moment, he freezes, the hard edges of his expression softening into something else—shock, regret, guilt—but it’s fleeting.
"So what if I’m drunk?" Your voice cracks as the words tumble out, your frustration too overwhelming to contain. "And yeah, maybe—" You shake your head, swallowing the lump in your throat as you glare at him, "Maybe I’m slurring a little but forgive me for wanting a drink after the final I’ve been stressing over all fucking month."
He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, his frustration barely contained. "It’s not about you having a drink. It’s about you not knowing your limits—"
"Oh, for fucks sake," you interrupt, throwing your hands up. The movement makes you sway slightly, and you hate how it only seems to prove his point. "Newsflash, Spencer, I’m a university student. Sometimes we get drunk. You don’t get to make me feel like shit just because you don’t drink.”
You push past him, your shoulder grazing his as you move to sit on the edge of the bed. The mattress dips under your weight, and you grip the edge, willing the room to stop spinning.
"You were being reckless," he bites back, the word hanging heavy in the air. "You don’t see what I see. You’re out alone, you don’t—"
"I wasn’t alone," you say, your voice rising to meet his. "I had friends—"
"Yeah, friends who left you alone on a curb at 3am," he shoots back, cutting you off. The words land with precision, a calculated jab, but you refuse to flinch.
"Because you said you were on the way!" you fire back.
His voice is cold now, practically seething. "And what do you think would’ve happened if I hadn’t reached you just as that guy was coming on to you?"
"He was asking for the bus!" you shoot back, the words ringing out louder than you intended. You hate everything about this fight. You hate how unfamiliar he feels, hate the part of you that wonders if you’re the one who brought this out of him. "Nothing would’ve—"
Spencer’s expression darkens, his gaze narrowing. "Nothing?" He scoffs. "Tell that to Nina Radha. To Caroline Wrenley. To Mindy Denver. They were all ‘just waiting for a ride home’ last week. And now? All abducted. All dead." 
The room goes silent. Your chest tightens, and the fight drains out of you as his meaning sinks in. 
"You’re being cruel," your words are barely audible, trembling on the edge of your lips. The tears come faster now, streaking your face, but you don’t bother wiping them away. "Why—" you whisper, weak and watery, "Why are you being like this?" 
When Spencer finally turns to look at you, the sight of your tears stops him cold. They streak your face in uneven paths, and he feels something inside him splinter. Spencer never likes seeing you cry—he hates it, actually. It’s not just discomfort or unease; it’s a literal, physical ache. But knowing he’s the reason for your tears tonight? That’s pain in its most visceral form. It’s failure in its purest state.
"I—" he starts, his voice faltering. It cracks mid-sentence, and he stops, swallowing hard. His breath shudders as he exhales, trying to find the words, but all that comes out is a quiet, broken, "I was scared." 
Your tears have momentarily slowed, caught off guard by the sudden shift in his tone. The anger in his voice has faded, replaced by something softer, something raw—fear, tangled with guilt, with regret. He takes a tentative step closer, then hesitates, unsure of what to do. 
"I thought that… something could’ve happened to you, and I—I didn’t know how to handle it." 
After a moment, he lowers himself to your level, crouching in front of you. He lifts his hand, reaching out to wipe away the tears that stain your face. But the instant his fingers near you, you flinch, turning your head to avoid his touch. The movement is small, but Spencer’s heart shatters at the rejection all the same. He hates that he’s made you cry, hates that you won’t let him near you, hates that you won’t even look at him.
"I’m sorry," he says, the words low and weighted with sincerity. He knows it’s not enough, but it’s all he has left to give. 
Your tears fall, dripping onto your hands that rest limply in your lap. You shake your head, your shoulders tense, refusing to meet his eyes. The rejection stings, sharper than he expected, but he doesn’t blame you. He knows he deserves this. The room is still except for the sound of your quiet sniffles. 
Spencer tries again, his voice quieter now, almost pleading. "I just—" His breath catches as he exhales, his hand running through his hair in agitation, the movement more to calm himself than anything else. "When I saw you standing there alone—alone and with that man, I got scared. And I lashed out. I shouldn’t have. You didn’t— you didn’t deserve that."
The silence that follows is thick, but finally, you break it. Your voice is quiet, bitter. 
"I’m not them."
You’re still not meeting his eyes, still keeping that distance, but at least it’s something. 
"Those girls… I’m not them, Spencer."
"I know, I know. I was—", his voice is low, the regret weighing heavily on every syllable.
​​"That case was tough on you, I know it was," you interrupt, "And what happened to those girls, it was horrible. But I'm not them, Spence. I'm not…" Spencer watches helplessly as you furiously wipe away a tear from your cheek. 
"I'm not dead. I'm here."
“I was projecting, I—” His voice catches, “I shouldn’t have taken it out on you,” he admits quietly. You nod, grimly. Another single, heavy tear slips down your cheek and Spencer feels his heart break all over again. 
"I know you’re scared. How do you think I feel every time you go out into the field?" You take a deep breath, and say bitterly, "I get it." 
Each word is a struggle, but you say it with conviction. He can see how much you’re holding in, the effort it takes for you to keep your voice from cracking. 
You pause, swallowing hard as you steady yourself, "But you—You don’t get to talk to me like that." When your eyes meet his, they flash with both anger and sadness. "You don’t get to take that out on me." 
"I know, I—That was—I was being horrible, I was an ass," Spencer admits, his voice small. "You didn’t deserve that, honey. God, I’m just—I’m so, so, sorry." 
You look at him for a long moment, searching for any sign that he’s being sincere. All you see is regret, raw and heavy. And something else, something softer. Love. He reaches out, and this time you don’t pull away. Just getting to touch you is a brief, bittersweet, blinding relief. Spencer lets his fingers graze your cheek as he wipes away your tears gently, his thumb brushing over the wet path they’ve left behind. 
A soft, almost bitter laugh escapes you. "An ass is putting it lightly." 
Spencer’s chest tightens, a small breath of relief escaping him, though it’s quickly replaced with guilt. "M’so sorry sweetheart," he breathes out, comforted by the familiar bite in your tone. It lightens the air between you, just a little.
He shifts to sit next to you on the bed. "I didn’t—I really didn’t mean to," he says quietly. You rest your head on his shoulder, letting out a soft sigh, the fight slowly draining out of you. Spencer gently takes your hands, cradling them in his. 
"I—I never want to hurt you, never want to make you cry. Ever." Spencer's voice cracks slightly as he talks, fingers tracing your palm. "You know that, right?"
You nod, your voice small but steady. "I know."
Shifting, you tuck your legs beneath you, turning to face him fully. Your hands lift to cup his face gently, your thumbs brushing against the faint stubble on his jaw. The touch is tender, almost protective, as you guide his face to meet yours. His eyes can’t hold your gaze for long, shame clearly written across them.
"I was just—I was—" He stumbles over his words.
"Scared," you finish softly, filling the silence for him. 
"I—I’m sorry," Spencer’s voice falters, "I’m really sorry honey, I should’ve never—That was—"
Your hands guide his face back toward yours, coaxing him to meet your eyes. This time, he doesn’t resist, his breath shaky as he clings to the comfort you offer. "S’okay, baby. M’not mad anymore," you murmur.
"Sad?" he asks, his voice barely audible, like he’s afraid of what you’ll say.
"No," you smile faintly, shaking your head, "Not sad, baby," you whisper, leaning closer. Your thumb traces the curve of his cheek in silent reassurance. His shoulders relax just a little. "I just—" you sigh as you let out one last, quiet sniffle, "I really hate fighting." 
Carefully, he coaxes you into his lap, his arms wrapping around you. "Me too, honey," he says, his voice thick with emotion as he shifts closer. You don’t resist, letting your head rest in the crook of his neck, your breath warm against his skin.
"S’not nice," you murmur against him, your words muffled.
"I know, I know," Spencer whispers, his fingers tracing slow, soothing circles along your back. You let out a shaky sigh, sinking further into his embrace. “Was awful, wasn’t it?” he says, quietly.
"Mhm," you mumble quietly, your voice soft but pointed as you lean into his touch. "Made me cry," you say, looking at him through wet lashes to prove your point. Spencer thinks, for a split second, that he’d rather die than ever have to see you cry like that again. After a beat of quiet, he tilts his head just enough to press a soft kiss to your temple. 
"I love you, you know that?" 
You hum softly, nuzzling your face into his neck with a contented sigh, "Love you too."
"Love you so much, sweet girl," he says again, quieter this time, like it’s a truth meant only for you.
"Sap," you tease, lifting your head just enough to meet his gaze, the faintest hint of a smile on your lips.
Spencer grins, soft and boyish. "Always for you," he mumbles fondly, and before you can respond, he leans forward, pressing a playful kiss to the tip of your nose.
You stick your tongue out at him in mock protest, but he’s already chasing the moment. A kiss lands on your cheek. Then another on the other side. Each one dripping with easy affection. 
"Spence—" you laugh, the sound bubbling up. It spreads a warmth through Spencer’s chest. 
"My sweet girl," he says quietly, almost to himself. 
His smile only grows as he drinks in the sound of your giggles, tears long gone. He presses a fluttering series of kisses across your form until you’re laughing into his lips, each kiss softer than the last. 
One on your cheek, two on your shoulder, a thousand on your lips.
⋆✴︎˚。⋆ hi if you're here! thank you for reading! feel free to like or reblog or comment or reply!
ᯓ★ song recs if you feel like it: false god by taylor swift moon river by frank ocean
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heegyukeluv · 2 months ago
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If love was a battlefield…
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pairing: heeseung x afab reader x jake
synopsis: If love was a battlefield, could there be more than one winner? In which Heeseung and Jake work in the same company as you, both of them sharing the same position and the same feelings: their huge crush on you.
my's note: i had so much fun working on this plot honestlyyyy and it was a bit of a challenge (in a good way!!!) since i had to learn a bunch of terms in english to write it and also my first love triangle 🤭🤭 THANK YOU SO MUCH ANONIE FOR THE REQUEST!!! also wanna thank mika for helping me brainstorming! a few scenes from here came from our talks 💘🤭
warnings: office workers heejake, y/n is in a higher position than them (manager), miscommunication to some extent, love triangle (but she does chooses! [spoiler alert] maybe both? hehe), hee and jake doesn’t get along too much at first (ps: they DON’T hate each other) but they come around!, quick mention of hee having a tattoo, there’s fluff, reader blushing/turning red! and SMUT - so minors DO NOT interact!, protected sex 💪🏻, unprotected sex (please, don't!!!), oral sex (f. receiving), quick handjob, sex in the office, the smut is jake x reader and heeseung x reader, there's no threesome!, jake has praise kink, hee is lowkey into degradation (receiving). LMK if missed anything!!!
request: an office or work space love triangle of heeseung x reader/oc x jake (you can pick which one the reader leans more towards or not✨or both✨) either way!!! (request here!)
wc: 24k
NOT PROOFREAD.
taglist 💖: @yvnempire, @marigold-sunflowers
Of course the printer would select that very specific day to malfunction, jamming the paper with its irritating noise that signaled another reset was needed, despite all your attempts to fix the problem. 
A wave of frustration washed through your body as you stepped back, taking a deep breath and fluttering your eyes shut in order to find any inner peace that might help you go through a simple routine task.
It wasn't just the clients pushing your buttons with their impossible deadlines, the entire work environment seemed to be against you, targeting you with its devilish plans. Everything that could go wrong, did.
You had little to no hope of getting better until your head rested on your pillow later that day. Unfortunately, there was still a whole six hours waiting for your irreplaceable presence. Being a manager had its perks, nonetheless, the down sides haunted you even in your dreams.
“Tough day?”
You startled at the sudden voice beside you, opening your eyes just to catch Jake sending you a curious glance, layered with a hint of comprehension. A ghost of a smile adorned his plump lips, his demeanor showed helpfulness, ready to assist. As usual.
“Some clients make the worst decisions and I’m the one cleaning their mess.” You began, exhaustion lacing your voice. “And some printers just hate me.” And then you shoot Jake an unamused smile.
Jake chuckled, his eyes turning into small crescents as he did so.
“May I?” He asked, gesturing towards the printer. You nodded, stepping aside to give him space to work. He began with the basics, checking for any simple errors. “It’s not running out of paper,” he pointed out quietly.
“Yeah…” You sighed and rested your body on the wall nearby. You had gone through everything Jake was doing.
“It doesn’t seem to be here. The problem.” He remarked, slightly confused.
You took a moment to observe how Jake’s concentrated frown deepened while he typed something on the computer, searching for the cause of the error. He nonchalantly played with his lips, wetting and biting them as he focused, his sharp eyes glued to the screen, slender fingers dancing across the keyboard.
You never paid close attention to how attractive Jake looked, especially while working – his light blue dress shirt and mandatory tie enhanced his pronounced features, complemented by his everyday black specs. 
Of course you thought Jake was handsome, any person in their right sense would. And his beauty was accompanied with his remarkable personality. He had a genuine, warm, prestative soul, ready to lend a hand whenever people needed him, and it was clear there was no expectation to receive anything in return as he did so.
Jake had unmatched intelligence and quick senses to discover easily what went wrong, and even his clumsiness, constantly dropping his pile of papers or having his glasses misplaced on the top of his nose’s bridge had its charm.
You never considered the possibility of Jake’s charming side. Nonetheless, there you were, unprofessionally checking out your colleague while hoping for a miracle.
“There you go!” Jake’s cheerful voice brought you back to reality, your heart racing in surprise.
“Did you fix it?” You questioned with a hopeful tone.
“Let’s see.” Jake replied and then pressed a few buttons.
To your surprise, the printer emitted its usual sound instead of the annoying one, smoothly pulling the paper and delivering it back, fully printed with your work’s documents.
“Jake! What the hell!” You exclaimed, mouth agape and eyebrows furrowed in bewilderment, a bright and genuine smile started to creep on the corner of your mouth as you looked back and forth between Jake and the printer. “What did you do?” You asked under your breath, still astonished with Jake’s quick and excellent skills. It felt like you could finally breathe again.
And it was just a malfunctioning printer. 
“I just–”
“You know what? It doesn’t matter.” You waved it off, too relieved to finally continue with your very busy day – the few minutes the printer had stolen from you would certainly be missed. “Thank you so much.” You flashed him a sincere smile.
“It was nothing, really.” He chuckled at your overreaction, in no position to admit out loud he was loving to be the cause of your sudden euphoria. Deep down he was fighting the urge to blush, fluster before you.
“How can I properly thank you for saving my day?” You joked with a grin, thrilled with the small victory as you took your papers in hand.
Your demeanor had lightened, and you couldn't quite tell if it was due to the relief of the printer working again or Jake's presence beside you. Either way, you felt a pleasant warmth spreading in your chest.
However, to receive Jake’s silence, widened eyes and cheeks with a faint blush as a response caught you off guard, along with his sudden nervousness as he fidgeted with his fingers, as though he prepared himself during his whole life for that exact moment. 
“So, uh…” He began, voice shaky, fingers trailing its way towards his nape to scratch it while his eyes avoided yours. 
“Yeah?” You prompted, curiously waiting for his words.
“I've been waiting to tell you something. I–I know we have a policy about it, and you're the last person I’d expect to break it, but–”
“Oh, hey Y/N!”
You turned to see another colleague of yours approaching with his characteristic bright, enchanting smile, carrying a cup of coffee in his hand, a sharp gaze never leaving yours as he confidently brought his strong aura closer to you both. 
“Hi, Heeseung.” You greeted with a smile, oblivious to the subtle change in the atmosphere between them.
“Jake.”
“Heeseung.” Jake’s voice was dry when he replied and a thick silence lingered for a moment before Heeseung flashed you an adorable smile and walked away without any other words.
You barely noticed Jake's clenched jaw and fists, or how he seemed ready to throw punches right in front of you if Heeseung didn’t return to his desk quickly.
“So you were saying..?” You asked, innocently drawing your attention back to Jake’s and consequently bringing his own towards you; his puppy eyes softened when they landed on your pretty features.
Jake’s heart immediately faltered a ton of beats as if he was about to collapse; having you looking at him so attentively was making his circuits crash, sending his brain into overdrive. 
All the courage he reunited to confess to you vanished in a snap.
“It was nothing, don't worry about it!” He forced his best cheerful smile. “You seem to have a lot to do! Fighting, Y/N!”
You giggled at his choice of terms, tapping on his shoulder slightly before you started to head your way back to your office room. 
“Thank you again, Jake.”
You offered him another smile, filled with genuine gratitude since he truly helped your day not to fall in shambles. And apparently, not only by helping your beef with the printer. 
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On the other hand, Jake’s day just started to collapse. 
He headed back to his desk in the space he shared with a few co-workers and Lee Heeseung, one of the best employees the company had ever had since they started. The problem solving efficiency increased enormously during his time working there, and Jake had a not-so-soft spot for him in his heart. Jake viewed Heeseung as one of his greatest rivals. Not exactly in a mean way, but as a manner to motivate his improvement and outsmart himself each day, ensuring that his presence was felt just as strongly as Heeseung’s.
In Jake’s eyes, Heeseung had an annoying vibe, overconfident with his work and himself, although he knew Heeseung wasn’t an asshole at all. Deep down, Jake harbored a certain envy of how easily Heeseung seemed to connect with people; his charisma shone within every word, his confidence made others feel secure – and, depending on the context, a bit shy.
On that day, nevertheless, a nagging doubt about his co-worker motives during their earlier interaction was swelling in his chest. If he stayed quiet, not confronting Heeseung about it, he wouldn’t be able to focus on doing his job adequately.
“Ok, so what was that about?” Jake finally asked with a mild peeved voice. 
“What was what ab–”
“Don't.” Jake's fierce eyes shot Heeseung a warning while tilting his head. “Don't mess around. Just spill it out.”
Heeseung quirked an eyebrow in amusement after seeing the so said calm guy acting a bit off. 
“I was saving your ass.” Heeseung replied, a casual grin on his face as if he had just shared the most mundane, obvious fact.
Jake rolled his eyes, sighing and definitely not buying the nonchalance while turning his rolling chair towards Heeseung.
“And how exactly my ass needs to be saved, Heeseung?” he pressed, his voice low and serious with an elbow propped on the edge of his table.
“You seemed to be in trouble.” Heeseung shot back immediately, shrugging, avoiding Jake’s intense gaze.
Heeseung wasn't too open about his reasons because, honestly, he was still unsure of what had compelled him to interfere in the conversation, since you seemed to be beaming with happiness and Jake was just his normal, awkward self talking to you.
Something itched at the back of his confused thoughts, so he had to take action.
“I wasn’t.” Jake murmured, his jaw clenched as he turned back to his computer, fingers furiously typing on his keyboard. “Next time, ask beforehand if I really need your savior's help.” He said mockingly, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I was just about to confess and you totally screwed up my chances.”
Heeseung blinked a few times, immediately freezing in his seat, utterly flabbergasted. He had a faint, minor suspicion hinting that Jake was onto something he couldn't quite grasp. But this? This was the last thing he expected at all.
Heeseung had to bite back his own sharp and far from nice words in order to maintain a good relationship with Jake – and, consequently, with you.
“I mean, we have policies and rules...” Heeseung managed to say in return, ignoring the bittersweet taste on his tongue going all the way down his throat to sit uncomfortably in his chest, swallowing it whole in a suffocating way.
“I know about them.” Jake smirked, leaning on his chair with a cocky, relaxed demeanor as he side eyed Heeseung. “And I found a loophole in it.” 
Now Heeseung's curiosity was piqued, heart racing fast as he leaned closer. “Oh, really? And how's that?” 
Jake chuckled, shooting Heeseung a skeptical look. "No way I'm telling you, man."
Panic filled Heeseung’s vein, a cold feeling spreading within his chest as the realization hit. He could lose the chance of his lifetime; it felt like you were already fading away from his touch without even giving him the chance to make a move. The new information that Jake and he shared a common interest in you and Jake seeming to have an advantage on his game triggered his worst side. 
For the purpose of keeping on the war’s lead – the war that just got instaurated by his fantasy –, he decided to play dirty.
“If you don't, I'm gonna snitch on you.”
Now it was time for Jake to paralyze in his tracks, just to let out a soft laugh before saying. “You would not…” Jake squinted his eyes in disbelief.
After reading Heeseung’s expression, Jake realized he wasn’t bluffing. The slight raise of Heeseung's eyebrows, coupled with a hint of challenge and his annoying grin demonstrated it clearly.
“Try me,” Heeseung struggled a bit to maintain his confident facade, the slight tremor in his voice betrayed the underlying tension. 
But Heeseung had an advantage that outshone Jake's, one that could potentially lead Jake to be in a very unfortunate position, and if that meant Heeseung getting his chances with you, he would do anything to keep the fight. 
Jake leaned back further, the playful smirk fading as he studied Heeseung with a calculating gaze.
“Seriously, you’d snitch over this?” Jake muttered in disbelief, crossing his arms over his chest. He wasn’t entirely convinced Heeseung would go that far, but his colleague's persistence was throwing him off. And for what? To steal his chances with you just for fun? Unless…
“If it gives me a fair shot, yeah.” Heeseung’s grin widened, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
He was pretty chill about it, after all, you always seemed unattainable to anyone around you. With an unmatched beauty, an assertive mindset, and a captivating yet humorous personality – when necessary –, not to mention how understanding you were. 
Everyone's dream.
And until that day that’s how Heeseung had you, only in dreams. But now reality had knocked on his door, and it knocked close. He knew there was competition, a strong one. And much to Jake's misfortune, Heeseung was highly competitive.
There was a brief pause for quite long, painful seconds. Jake’s frown deepened as he finally understood Heeseung’s motives, clarification hitting instantly. They were on the same page.
Although it sent his brain into malfunction, especially because he feared Heeseung’s would be winning – just like he always did, the fucking annoying ace of the company –, Jake kept on the confident behavior, not showing his hesitation right in front of his, now unspokenbly declared, enemy.
He let out a sharp breath, shaking his head. “You really think you stand a chance?”
Heeseung’s expression faltered for just a second, but he quickly masked it.
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “But I won’t let you get ahead without a fight. A proper one.”
A heavy silence settled between them again, Jake processing Heeseung’s words, the tension palpable as both of them knew they were walking on dangerous ground. It was the company field with you being the final prize.
And right at that point, neither of them cared that much about their reputation within the workers if it led to having you at the end of the day.
“Alright then, let’s see who wins this.” Jake’s voice filled the dead air.
Heeseung blinked, momentarily taken aback by Jake’s sudden shift in tone, overconfident with his decision. However, he nodded and shook Jake’s hand in a wordless deal.
“Let's see who wins this.”
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A gentle knock on the door interrupted your focus as you organized your table for the day, still standing up.
It was common sense within your employees that if you didn't answer right away, they were not supposed to open it until you reached out yourself. However, the chaotic pile of papers that had overtaken your workspace had momentarily distracted you, and you were taking your sweet time organizing it all.
Just as you were about to call out, the door creaked open cautiously, and a familiar pair of eyes peeked inside.
“Hey.” Heeseung greeted you with a tender smile. “Mind if I come in?”
Without fully drifting your gaze away from the documents on your table, frowning as you found yet another mistakenly placed in between your sheets, you gave a brief nod.
“Sure.” 
As Heeseung approached, a bit hesitant, you didn’t give him time to say a word as you shove the paper on his face. “That’s definitely not mine.”
Your deadpan expression was enough to make anyone sweat, and you knew it well – sometimes using it to your benefit purely for fun, especially with someone like Heeseung, who was susceptible to falling for it easily. 
Heeseung momentarily blinked, stunned, before tilting his head to the side, uncertain. “I’m… Sorry..?”
You couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped, enjoying his reaction far too much; his confused, scared bambi eyes widening with the fear of a reprimand. You shook your head, biting back your smile while lifting one eyebrow.
“Relax. It’s not your fault.” 
You saw Heeseung’s shoulders loosening visibly, and he released a long breath he didn’t notice he was holding, relief washing over his body.
Behind his easygoing, self-reliant and confident persona, there was a huge layer of self-doubt blended with the concern of letting the company down – letting you down. He carried the weight of wanting to be perfect at his job, especially for you. He was proud to admit he barely made any mistakes during his years working there, let alone to incorrectly put important papers in wrong places.
“So, what brings you here?” You finally gave Heeseung your full attention, leaning one hip against the desk, watching him with curious eyes.
Heeseung cleared his throat before setting down a steaming cup on the wooden surface. “Thought you could use this.” He offered with an awkward grin. “A coffee for my favorite manager.”
You quirked an eyebrow, suspicious over his sudden decision. Of course you were aware of Heeseung’s kindness towards you, always trying to ease your overall work under his possibilities with his teasing blended with his gentlemanliness. However, something felt strangely off, different, weird even, and you struggled to pinpoint exactly what it was.
Maybe it was the way his two orbs seemed to drown you in a pool of affection and attention, almost expecting something in return.
“Oh, yeah?” You picked the coffee nonetheless, taking a sip and almost closing your eyes as the sweetness of it melted in your palatar. “And what’s the catch?” You smirked as you propped your free hand on the table, supporting your weight in it, eyes never leaving Heeseung’s sudden flustered self.
“No catch!” He urged to say, raising both hands in defense, bambi eyes widened more as if he just got caught in a compromising situation. You tilted your head, not buying it. “I swear,” he chuckled awkwardly, feeling small under your intense staring. “I just thought it could be a good idea. You’re fighting against demons with this desk today.” He pointed out to the said space and you actually laughed out loud at his words, painfully agreeing with them because it was your reality that day.
You studied Heeseung for a moment longer, trying to read his underlying true intentions. In doing so, you couldn’t help but observe his charming features.
His impeccably styled hair revealing a small portion of his forehead, enough to showcase his adorable mole, became a signature aspect of his daily appearance. His clothes were always neat, seamlessly placed and yet stylish. His lips seemed to be constantly nibbled or maybe he had some chapstick on, because it had the color of cherries, giving it an inviting glimmering aspect. 
He exuded a natural flirty aura that effortlessly drew people in, especially those he had a genuine interest in – you heard some of his stories before, when you weren’t in your current position. For some inexplicable reason, you found yourself wondering briefly what it would be like to be on the receiving end of his playful and certainly captivating advances.
“Thanks, Heeseung. I appreciate it." Your voice softened, and you gestured to the chaotic desk. "But next time, maybe help me with this instead of just getting me coffee."
Heeseung laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Noted.” Then he shifted on his feet, clearly trying to maintain his cool, but the slight fidget in his hand suggested something else. “Just wanted to make sure you’re taken care of. You know? You’re the head of our department.” He nodded to himself, letting his genuine, but appealing words come out of his mouth spontaneously. 
“Thank you again.” You smiled, feeling his gratitude, still not really accepting it as a normal behavior. 
You kept on watching him nervously acting out in front of you, so obviously apprehensive, however, fighting the pressure of dropping down his mask. You almost laughed at it, endeared by how entertained it was to be on the viewer’s side. 
“But really. You’re doing fine. And we all need you to keep on being fi– Doing! Doing fine.” Heeseung fumbled in between his speech, stuttering because he wasn’t expecting you to go full silent-mode out of nowhere, leaving him with his messy, and in love, brain, enough to make him act awkward.
You let out a small chuckle, the way Heeseung was being so out of his normal was so funny to your eyes, never in your life you thought of seeing him in such a manner.
Then you stood up only to gently guide Heeseung towards the door, grabbing the handle to signal it was time for him to leave your office. Somehow you had a feeling that if you let him, Heeseung would keep on talking and complimenting you for hours. 
“Ok, now you're just flattering me for no reason. Go back to your work.” You softly pushed his back, still smiling. 
“You know me too well,” he smirked and then threw you a cute wink before walking away, now apparently back to his regular demeanor, leaving you alone in the midst of your chaos – both in the room and in your mind.
Before you closed the door, the phantom of your smile lingering on your lips still, you heard someone calling your name.
“Oh, Y/N! I was looking for you.” 
Jake met Heeseung in the middle of the hallway. His subtle, yet triumphant smile radiated a confidence that triggered Jake’s desperation, so he had to come up with a quick plan to gain some extra points with you and, maybe, with luck, surpass Heeseung. 
Your eyes tracked Jake’s motions as he approached you, looking flustered with papers messily stacked in his grasp, his glasses unevenly on his face as though he had been in a race against time. He had a small pout decorating his plump lips, and his hair was a mess as well, strands poking out everywhere. Even so, he looked cute.
Cute?
“What's all that?” You nodded to his papers, sipping on your hot coffee.
Then you locked your gaze with his. Jake gave you a soft smile, as though he saw a cute puppy and you tilted your head with curiosity, waiting for his response.
“Uh.. I went over our latest reports,” he started as he clumsily handed you one of the documents, your fingers subtly brushing against the other’s in the process – while you barely noticed it, Jake winced, a jolt of ecstasy rushing over his body by your simple touch. “And there were a bunch of errors. I corrected them…”
You slowly blinked, eyebrows furrowing, utterly surprised by Jake's decision of reviewing the reports, and not enough, giving it the proper adjustment as you meticulously re-read the paragraph he pointed out.
“I'm sorry.” He said quietly after your silence. “You seem to have a lot to do and I know you'll have to revise it all again.”
“Jake.” You called out, a serious, focused expression still settled on your face. Jake straightened his posture, ready for the reprimand he was sure you would give him, already thinking about the hours he would spend overthinking it. However, you were far from being mad, so you softened your eyes after finishing reading, smiling and looking back at him. “Come in.”
Jake had dumbfounded eyes shooting your back when you turned on your heels after inviting him to your office, his foot glued on the ground unabling his movements. Nonetheless, the feeling of a small victory tasted addicting, and now he yearned for more. 
Just before fully stepping into your workspace after calming down his racing excited heart, he glanced over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of Heeseung giving him a death stare. 
Jake simply smiled coyly, as if he had won the round of a game he never intended to lose, although his adversary offered a strong amount of threatening.
Heeseung darkened eyes watched Jake’s fading away after closing the door, poking his inner cheek with his tongue with his breath hitching. Right when he found the perfect opportunity to prove he would be a great boyfriend by looking out for you, Jake stepped in, robbing him of the chance to be the only one in your thoughts.
Inside the room, you now sat on your chair while Jake kept on standing after putting the pile of papers on your desk. He was trying to suppress the adrenaline bubbling inside his heart, the thump-thump almost dizzying echoing inside his head, and the fact that your office was permeated with your scent did nothing to help to decrease the intoxicating, entrancing feeling. 
“Sit down, don’t be awkward.” You said nonchalantly, yet comforting, pointing to the chair in front of your desk without necessarily looking away from the words you were reading rigorously.
“Sorry.” He chuckled nervously, quickly sitting down as his fingers twitched on his lap, fidgeting out of tension.
The lack of acknowledgment about what your reaction would be was aching in his every pore; biting the sensitive flesh of his lips wasn’t enough anymore, so he glanced up at you, stealing a rapid moment to admire the way you were scanning the reports. Your mild concentrated frown and how your hair cascaded down your face almost made him melt on spot. 
The silence wasn’t comfortable at all, not hostile either – even so he was afraid of getting scolded.
“So, what made you decide to do this?” You finally spoke, your words aiming for one simple answer, nevertheless, your tender and still steady tone made Jake shift on his seat, breath getting caught on his throat. 
“I just thought I could help you,” he answered, a bit quieter than his regular self. “I–I know you have a lot to do lately, and I always revise our main reports.” He explained, not watching you anymore because you lifted your eyes to give him your full attention; your gaze weightening on him. “And I noticed those errors. Didn’t think it would hurt to re-make those parts based on your pattern of writing.”
You nodded softly, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
Jake was adorable with his cheeks painted in slight blush, fixing his glasses on his nose’s bridge, running away from your staring, unable to sustain eye contact. He was being his normal self, however, just like with Heeseung, something felt off. 
“That’s really considerate.” You said, tilting your head slightly to the side as you added. “I really appreciate your effort, Jake. But I’d like to be aware of the changes before you make them. Okay?” 
Jake eagerly agreed, nodding at your soothing words. He was relieved to hear them instead of harsher ones, even though there was no bigger reason to fear, after all, your reputation for handling things with grace and kindness mingled with your astute assertiveness was well-known.
You had a way of giving feedback that felt constructive, always leading with gratitude before addressing something more incisive, and your scoldings were far from being sharp like a retaliation and more striving for lightening the load for everyone involved, without leaving room for big mistakes.
But at that moment Jake held a very intimate, personal secret, and your sharp eyes seemed to read his every thought, so he expected the worst.
“So, what exactly did you change in the report?” you asked, leaning slightly forward in your chair, genuine curiosity lighting up your eyes.
Jake swallowed, feeling a familiar nervousness creep up, though it was softened by the warmth of your kind eyes. He smiled and tried to quietly shake off the warmth spreading on his cheeks before explaining every line he had modified and the reasoning behind it, his typical clever outstanding trait showing off within every word that flew from his mouth, walking confidently on the ground he built himself in.
As you nodded along, due to the small proximity, you also silently struggled to maintain your focus on what Jake was verbalizing instead of his refreshing perfume and his gorgeous, slender fingers, to which traced the paper as he kept on talking. Not to mention the motion of his lips, how his tongue would wet the flesh of it every once and awhile.
“You did a good job, Jake.” You said at the end of his analysis, lifting your eyes to meet his. A subtle smile adorned your mouth, and Jake felt a surge of pride bloom in his chest.
He could shamelessly admit – not to you, though – he was devoted to hearing your every praise. There was no aim to his work other than receive your compliments about him doing good. Being good for you was enough to pay his bills, he would even dare to say.
And of course that had nothing to do with his praise kink, buried in the depths of his mind. 
“Thank you.” Jake mumbled shyly, feeling the heat lingering on his cheeks, a light ton of red tinting them. “I really like being noted by you.” As soon as his words blurted out of his mouth, he rushed to backtrack himself with widened eyes. “I mean– I appreciate being recognized for my hard work. By any superior, of course.”
You leaned back on your chair, crossing your arms as you raised an eyebrow, studying Jake’s demeanor shamelessly – his nervous stuttering, his choice of words, his sudden overwork. Going through documents already approved for submission was nothing but a hellish task, nevertheless Jake seemed to be willing to give you that break without you asking for it.
Something odd was happening. It was way out of your regular routine, flooded with awkward situations and words that you weren’t sure you were supposed to overhear. And coming from two different people.
Another knock on your door interrupted your session of trying to read Jake’s hidden intentions, just like you did before with Heeseung. And as if your thought had summoned the said man, he appeared at the entrance after you allowed him to enter.
“I’m sorry, am I interrupting?” Heeseung asked innocently, his eyes darting briefly from you to Jake, acknowledging his presence – the thought of you and Jake being alone in a room weighed in his chest since the moment he saw his colleague entering your office, and increased with every heartbeat.
Heeseung couldn’t bear the idea of Jake claiming a larger area of their shared battlefield, and his only remaining option was to figure out methods to interfere in Jake’s progress.
Jake didn’t buy Heeseung’s feigned naivety, narrowing his eyes in disbelief without making it noticeable to you. It was a subtle exchange, a fleeting glance that only Heeseung was able to catch as he swallowed hard to suppress the pressing need to spill the truth beneath their actions.
“Seems like my office is the party room today,” you joked lightly, shaking your head. “You didn’t. I just finished with Jake.” 
Unaware of the silent tension unfolding between the two men, you draw your attention back to your laptop, quickly logging into your work apps as if the world wasn’t burning with unspoken feelings right before you. Yet, the awkward silence persisted, prompting you to glance up at Heeseung again, who seemed to be deep in thought.
He faltered for a second before realizing he was the one in the spotlight, snapping out of torturing thoughts, rapidly regaining his composure. 
“I, uh… I just wanted to remind you that your meeting is in less than an hour,” Heeseung’s voice was steady, but the quickening beat of his heart betrayed his nerves, especially with his brand new makeshift excuse. “I was wondering if you want me to set the room for it. I’m quite chilling with my work today.”
“I can help!” Jake was quick to interject, almost lifting his hand as if he was a middle schooler, looking at you with gleaming orbs filled with expectation.
Your inquisitive eyes flickered between Jake and Heeseung, your serious facade sharpening as you sensed the shift in the air. It made them both shiver in place, sharing a secret wordless connection. 
It was almost undeniable that the whole situation was affecting you in an unknown way.
You were aware of your position and fought hard for it – being assertive and resolving conflicts was your greatest work quality. Separating work from personal matters was also a point you vigorously defended and explained to many of your colleagues, especially since being the target of their flirtations was on your list as well.
Despite your efforts to maintain those things rewinding on your mind as a reminder, the way both Heeseung and Jake were acting sounded more than just strange to you – it was intriguing.
You felt an almost unbearable desire to investigate further what was the motive behind their sudden offers for help and the respective compliments that came with it.
At the same time, you wondered if there were layers of the situation you weren’t quite seeing correctly, having just one piece of the ongoing puzzle so far. So you decided to let it be for now.
“What about you both help each other?” You offered a solution while smiling, indirectly using it as a method to gather more explicit information. “I’m sure you can work well together, right?” You tilted your head with a challenging voice, to which didn’t go unnoticed by either of them.
“Sure.” Heeseung smiled in agreement, and you straightaway noticed he was masking his real reaction.
“Sounds amazing,” Jake, on the other hand, was obvious with his discontent, sounding explicitly unhappy and sarcastic. 
Either way, you opted to ignore it and move on with your work as soon as they left your office. It was just the morning and you had a lot to catch up with.
And besides your efforts, you failed to catch the palpable tension between Heeseung and Jake. 
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Your following days seemed ordinary enough, until Jake or Heeseung – eventually, both – crossed your path.
They shared a constant odd behavior around you, whether proposing countless solutions to existent and mostly nonexistent problems, demonstrating an exaggerated level of proactivity, or complimenting your appearance, emphasizing details that surely hadn’t changed overnight – like the time when Heeseung asked if you had trimmed the ends of your hair, as if he was trying to impress you with his incredible observation skills.
At times, you were astonished by their creative ability to come up with lame excuses just to approach you, many of which were completely inconvenient and more of a distraction than a help.
You couldn’t help but wonder what triggered this new shift in their attitudes. What has switched inside their brains to overwork themselves just to make their presence noticeable?
Even your superior questioned about the employees' demeanors under your management, overdoing tasks and spending more time in the company than normal. You struggled to wash it off, because you also had no proper answer to that question.
Besides the chaos they implemented within their constant battle for something you quite couldn’t pinpoint precisely, it was somewhat adorable their attempts to get your attention. Also, you wouldn’t deny that the small perks they provided – like free coffee and lunch nearly every day – were more than welcome, allowing you to buy new decorations to your house, for instance.
Your first theory was that both Heeseung and Jake were working together to get a raise. But you quickly discharged it when you realized they were fighting against each other, not for each other. So for now, your main theory was they were still trying to win a raise, flattering you personally as a way to get it as if you held the key for their promotion as their manager.
Although excessive, they always respected your personal boundaries, giving your space when you demanded it. They quickly understood your disapproving looks whenever they crossed the professional line as well, avoiding furthermore conflicting situations in the workspace. 
However, even with their sweet personalities and kind, heartfelt gestures, the constant tension, battelish vibe they carried alongside each other was getting on your nerves to some extent. Especially because you were growing attached to some of their behaviors and constant presence.
While Jake would quietly offer assistance with your workload, subtly proving his reliability and cleverness to found solutions with ease, following you around like a lost puppy, Heeseung would choose a different approach, very likely to his personality, showering you with compliments and attempting to charm you with smaller favors, focusing more on your overall health and in making you a bit flustered.
You got caught in a dilemma. 
Jake and Heeseung began to build a soft spot in your heart, making it hard to ignore your pulse quickening in certain moments, like when Heeseung bought you some snacks because you skipped your lunch hour, showing his concern within a flatter – “A beautiful woman like you can’t go too longer without some proper food”. Or how Jake’s eyes brightened while you explained a new easy method to do spreadsheets, giving you his full attention, hyping you and adding to your idea – “You’re brilliant! And if we add this other option as well… Wow. How do you manage to be amazing like this?”
How Heeseung would rush over the entire floor just because you requested, jokingly, a coffee, even with him being loaded with work – “Can’t never let my favorite manager down, yeah?”. Or when Jake's fierce senses quickly noticed your struggle with a presentation and leaned over to offer you support and an alternative suggestion – “You’re doing great, Y/N. If you don’t feel like it, you can try explaining the third part, the one we talked about before.” 
And the bolder, touchy ones; when Heeseung wiped the corner of your mouth because it was stained with sauce, when Jake fixed a strand of your hair that was misplaced, when Heeseung’s arms involved your shoulders in a subtle, comforting hug after a meeting with an inconvenient client, when Jake scooched closer while sitting next to you during a workshop-lecture, his lips almost touching your ear as he whispered something about the topic. 
Other than all of that, you came to notice how Heeseung’s eyes radiated with a brighter glow and how his lips curved into a gentle, gorgeous smile every time you were speaking, as if he was daydreaming. And also how often Jake would turn into a fumbling mess, blushing and biting back a grin every time you complimented him, and eventually just the fleet meeting of your eyes became enough to send him into that flustered and adorable demeanor, your heart faltering some beats with the sight.
You were feeling over appreciated, and it was concerning, mainly because you were enjoying it. 
Your eyes started to drift briefly, but frequently to their lips when they were the ones talking instead of listening to their words. A knot on your stomach would form as you anticipated their presence in your office every day, sometimes even placing internal bets on who would be the first to knock on your door. And there were times where you found yourself nervously adjusting your hair or smoothing out your clothes before they walked in, hoping they would notice.
You expected your workflow to feel enjoyable not because you liked your job, but because at the end of the day, Heeseung and Jake’s frequent proximity would ignite a brand new nuance of sentiments inside your chest towards them – an excitement, the usual anticipation, some eagerness. 
Nonetheless, despite their courteous behavior and the subtle change in the air whenever they were near, there was something tingling, lingering in the back of your mind.
It became increasingly obvious with every interaction that Jake and Heeseung shared an unspoken rivalry, and if you had to guess, you were the prize they were competing for – the idea itself was enough to send shivers down your spine, especially since it left you facing an impossible choice, one you couldn't imagine yourself ever having to make.
Whenever Jake came into your office to discuss work, Heeseung would conveniently show up moments later, knocking on your door with an offer of assistance.
If Heeseung sat with you during lunch, Jake would immediately find a seat at the same table, causing the air to grow thick with tension.
They were constantly interrupting any moment that had the potential to evolve into something deeper, leaving you frustrated, as if you were only getting fleeting glimpses of who they truly were when the other wasn’t around.
To think like that – hoping that your interactions with them would develop into something more – wasn’t professional. It didn’t fit right to fantasize about the possibilities beyond a simple work dynamic, no matter how much the tension made you feel otherwise.
You were a manager, their manager. With a lot of responsibilities; Heeseung and Jake being one of them. Still you were already far intrigued and involved with your feelings in this triangle, and to just forget it and act like nothing was happening slowly became an impossible mission.
“This isn’t right.” You murmured, frowning at the vending machine that decided not to give you your snacks. Your phrase, however, wasn't only about it. “Come on…” You rolled your eyes, impatience swelling in you.
“Sometimes you just have to punch it.” 
You almost jumped in shock with the sudden presence of your fellow manager and friend, Sunghoon, carrying his usual cup of steaming coffee, wearing his typical full suit and showing you an adorable smile.
You chuckled at his solution, “I don’t feel like punching a vending machine today.”
“You look angry, though.” He quirked an eyebrow at you, casually sipping on his coffee. “It could help.”
You wetted your lips before answering. “Yeah, kinda,” you shrugged. “But I don’t think punching a vending machine would help my angryness at all.” You shot back with a cynical smile.
Sunghoon laughed with you before approaching the machine and analyzing it. “Let me help you then.” 
He did two or three taps on the side of it and within seconds it threw out the snacks you had selected before. You glanced in disbelief at him, mouth agape as you tilted your head and grabbed your food.
“What are you? A charmer of vending machines?” You asked with amused eyes, smiling bright before ripping open the cookie package, eating one and offering it to your friend.
“Definitely not,” Sunghoon also curved his lips into a grin, taking one of the cookies and then leaning closer while fauxing a flirty gaze. “But I would love to charm you into a project of mine.” His eyes were glazed on yours, taking in how bright they shone as the excitement bubbled inside your chest when you heard his proposition. “Not all of you, because I know you already have a lot to do.” He added, offering comfort and understandment. “But I think your method could help my supervisors and their respectives team leaders to do a better job.”
“And by my method you say my incredible way of dealing with people or just the new thing I developed with my incredible, amazing, wonderful supervisors?” You wiggled your eyebrows, teasingly, with a mischievous smile and nudging his shoulder playfully.
Sunghoon rolled his eyes and put on a smirk on his lips as he straightened his posture. “Whatever.” He chuckled. “Send me a text if you’re down for our date,” he said, his tone teasing as he lifted his cup of coffee and an eyebrow, starting to slowly walk backwards toward the elevator.
You widened your eyes, glancing around to see if anyone overheard your conversation, embarrassment washing over you and going straight to your cheeks, especially after the last remark.
You slapped Sunghoon’s chest as you contained a laugh, giving a last feigned disapproving look while shaking your head in disbelief. A quiet snort came out of your throat before you made your way back to your office.
Your relationship with Sunghoon was anything but new. You both entered the company at the same month, and you practically leveled up together – on your last promotion, you became a manager just days before him.
So far, you had shared a solid friendship that extended beyond the office, even if your growing responsibilities had limited the hangouts you used to enjoy between spreadsheets and meetings. Those carefree moments had become rare as the workload piled up, so the opportunity to work together with Sunghoon thrilled you.
Just the thought of the brainstorming sessions filled with laughter and playful jokes, a perfect blend of professionalism and friendship, sparked your excitement at most.
Many assumed that your relationship was more than a simple friendship, and Sunghoon's shameless flirting while using working terms didn't help at all. In fact, he had a boyfriend, and the reason you two constantly flirted was purely for fun and to stir up others' curiosity and laugh about it afterwards. 
On the other side of the floor, meticulously dodging from your sharpened gaze, Heeseung watched the bold interaction between you and Sunghoon unfolding. He had narrowed eyes and head slightly tilted as he tried to eavesdrop on your conversation. He got himself wondering why were you laughing and smiling so much, with an excessive amount of unnecessary touches and flirty eyes. 
“We should unite forces.” 
Heeseung nearly jumped or had a heart attack – or both – as Jake appeared out of nowhere beside him, whispering closely in his ear. He looked like a deer that had just been caught doing something wrong, with widened eyes and lips parted.
“Fuck off, Jake.” Heeseung dramatically placed a hand on his chest, as though to calm down his racing pulse, eliciting a genuine chuckle from Jake in response. “And what do you mean by that, huh?” Heeseung frowned, eyes flicking between Jake and you as you walked away.
“I don’t know.” Jake sighed deeply, shoving his hands into the pockets of his slacks while watching you disappear behind your office door, his head angling to the side to keep track of your movements until you were out of sight.
“So you have an idea, but not a plan?” Heeseung asked while side eyeing Jake, who was now biting his lip, clearly trying to swallow down the bittersweet taste on his tongue. 
And Heeseung wasn’t too different; when he heard people saying jealousy is a disease, he didn't think it would make his heart shrink and ache that much. 
“Pretty much, yeah.” Jake nodded with a pout, starting to walk towards his desk, with Heeseung trailing behind him. “I just don’t think Sunghoon is a good match, y’know?” He remarked, trying to sound casual about it, but his words felt like a bullet going straight to Heeseung’s gut, curving its way back to hit Jake’s chest.
“Yeah,” Heeseung agreed, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. “He lacks a lot of things.” He added with a dry, nearly mean tone.
“Not in looks though.” Jake pinpointed, earning another judgmental side eye from Heeseung. “What? He’s good looking.” He said nonchalantly with a shrug. “I have eyes. I can notice when a guy looks good.”
“Whatever you say, nerd,” Heeseung voiced with an unfazed chuckle.
Jake rolled his eyes in annoyance, and even with them glued on the screen in front of him, numbers and words on display for him to analyze, his mind was long gone far away from the office.
“But listen,” he continued after seconds in silence seeking for the right way to verbalize his thoughts. “Don’t you feel that sometimes we’re kinda… Pushing her away instead of the other way around?”
Jake’s question hung in the air for brief seconds as Heeseung tilted his head, carefully contemplating it. Jake watched his colleague's face falter in realization. 
You seemed mad and somehow frustrated whenever they interrupted you, massaging your temples while closing your eyes, taking deep and long breaths, playing with your lips using your tongue and teeth… As if you were trying to contain yourself.
Not to mention that he started to draw disapproving stares from you during meetings or at times when he interfered with your workflow attempting to help. And Jake's side wasn’t different either.
“Yeah.” Heeseung finally nodded after concluding his chain of thoughts. “None of this would be an issue if you stepped aside, you know? I could take care of it.” He teased, gazing at Jake with a cocky expression.
“No way in hell, man.” Jake scoffed with a laugh, but then his facade softened, his feelings for you overwhelming his chest. “I only want what's best for her.”
Heeseung flashed Jake with an understanding glance, blended with seriousness and a hint of affection, as if the new reminder of his real main objective littered his whole world.
You littered his whole world.
And after all, to make you happy was the final goal.
“Agreed.” 
While in a brief pause, Jake and Heeseung reflected how deeply involved with their feelings for you they were, an unexpected, yet genuine connection maturing as they did so.
Work had become fun and enjoyable simply because you were there, being an important part of their routine. Your nuance of smiles – the bright ones, the skeptical ones, the awkward ones –, your subtle jokes and lowkey acid humor that eased the atmosphere, your serious and confident decisions, your confused grimaces whenever someone said something absurd, your habit of biting your lip and furrowing your eyebrows while absorbed in concentration.
They drank in every single detail of you, falling more and more in love, as if you were the sun, and they were mere planets gravitating in your orbit, waiting, fighting for your attention, for your decision.
Jake sighed, lowering his eyes while remembering all the moments he made you laugh with his silly and awkward jokes due to his nervousness, stumbling into his own words before your beautiful presence.
Heeseung pursed his lips together, nearly feeling the phantom of the slight bumps of your shoulders when you both sat next to each other, your body leaning just enough to whisper something important in his ear.
“We both want what’s the best for her…” Jake muttered under his breath. Heeseung glanced quickly at him, who immediately reciprocated – a silent dialogue being transmitted in their gaze.
Then they both said simultaneously, a shared realization hanging in the air.
“That’s why you should leave her to me.”
“And I am the best for her."
Apparently their alliance would take longer than anticipated.
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After everyone settled into their chairs, you took a deep breath and stood at the head of the table, commanding attention. Your gaze swept across the room before you spoke, your voice firm and steady.
“So, our meeting today is crucial. These clients are incredibly high maintenance, and they chose our company to lead their main projects. I need everyone to be extra focused and serious, no slip-ups,” you emphasized, keeping on drifting your eyes through your colleagues, pausing for effect. “I expect nothing but professionalism.”
Your words hung in the air, and while the room nodded in agreement, both Heeseung and Jake had their minds far from there.
They were seated across from each other, however, both sets of eyes softly and attentively tracked your every move, as if the project was about you and you only.
Jake’s focus wasn’t on the blueprint details, let alone on the company's reputation; it was on the way your hair cascaded over your shoulder as you turned your head slightly, or the confidence you radiated as you spoke, so naturally drawing people in. Your voice was as soft as a cloud, and still precise with your every word. 
It was hard to remember the last time he had paid that much attention to a meeting, and there he was, mesmerized not by the content, but solely and exclusively by you. His heartbeat raced with every second, almost echoing louder than anything in the room.
Across the table, Heeseung was no different.
His usual composed demeanor during meetings faltered just enough to make his hands sweat nervously. He was sure your makeup looked extra perfectly placed that day. Every time you said something, his gaze flickered to the slight upward curl of your plump, soft colored lips, or how your jaw clenched with seriousness, together with your sharp, incisive eyes and slight frown, adding to your charm. You were shining on your element, controlling the whole room with your assertiveness and, for him personally, attractive demeanor. 
Both of them were caught in similar states – wondering what it would be like if your eyes were solely on them. Would they light up? Would your lips curve into an adorable smile? Would your head cock to the side as you paid deep attention to them?
The silly battle between Heeseung and Jake only grew stronger as the minutes passed; the previous talk had no purpose at all, besides light one’s own weight of being misinterpreted, proving their worthiness to you. 
As Heeseung leaned slightly forward, crossing his hands on the table’s surface, the shifting in his seat made his presence briefly more evident. Your eyes instantly darted towards his direction, catching his bambi-eyes fixed on you, wide and attentive. An almost instinctive smile crossed your lips after reading his expression that showed a perfect blend of genuine pride and a layer of lovestruck admiration.
For some reason, Heeseung quietly showing you support made your heartbeat steady, filling you with a warm sense of reassurance.
Jake clenched his fists under the table, his competitive side sparkling up after noticing your wordless interaction with his rival, flickering his gaze between the two of you. He pondered how he could stand out, and his whole body was stiff before he leaned back on his chair, relaxing, as he cleverly remembered the times you complained about the lack of sincere reactions or motions during meetings like those.
Again, just the movement was enough to catch your attention, since the rest of the room was completely still, deeply concentrated on your presentation.
As you approached your computer to pass the slide, you flashed Jake a quick recognition glance about his unspokenly intentions as well, smirking smally in gratitude before continuing with your script, feeling your breathing getting a little better, lighter. 
One thing you absolutely hated about those kinds of meetings was the participants’ rigid presence, the high level of responsibility tensed your nerves – unnecessarily, in your opinion.
You utterly understood the scenario’s nature, requiring a certain posture from you that you very much knew how to offer. But nothing stopped you from protesting every once and a while about the tension on your shoulders whenever you had to wear that facade. 
So you appreciated Heeseung and Jake’s effort in making your body loosen momentarily, carrying through with your words, and unfortunately oblivious to their real reasons. 
Of course Heeseung’s eyes registered the subtle exchange between you and Jake, automatically igniting his desire to reclaim your attention, as if your work was just an excuse, a battlefield to their competition.
His jaw clenched and his gaze sharpened when Jake shot a small scornful smirk at him, almost like he was showing off his brand new victory, taunting.
That simple gesture fueled Heeseung’s instinct to jump into action without much thinking, so he blurted out, intending exclusively to demonstrate to you how involved in the topic he was.
"And what about the user experience data? That’s going to be key for the next steps, right?"
You paused on your tracks, momentarily thrown off by Heeseung’s sudden, unexpected voice interrupting your thought process. Your eyes faltered in confusion for a brief moment before you opened your mouth to say something that didn’t come out right away, because in your mental script, that was the latest part of your presentation. 
Jake threw a shocked glance at Heeseung after noticing your slightly baffled and hesitant face, then he added, trying to settle down the ambiance to something less chaotic – his attempt failing as much as Heeseung’s, since it sounded like he was over-explaining your tactics into that project. 
“Right, but let’s not forget how crucial the user feedback is for improving our mechanics.”
Your eyes darted between the two men fighting against each other and then to your client, who had a disapproving grimace. 
As you took a deep breath to collect your thoughts, you could feel the tension in the air between them and the rest of your colleagues, including your client. The underlying competition became far from obvious at that point, you could practically hear them both thinking ‘Who would win your attention this time?’, and it was so annoying.
You hollowed your cheeks in order to calm down your frustration and angriness, sipping on your water before concentrating back on your presentation, determined to deliver your ideas without letting their stupidity get in your way. 
And a single serious glance was enough to shut Heeseung and Jake up for the rest of the meeting.
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“Close the door when you leave.” You instructed, gesturing to a colleague that was heading out the meeting room. You focused back on organizing the papers sprawled across the table. “Heeseung and Jake, you two stay.”
Your words filled the space as sharp as a dagger, leaving no room for argumentation – and neither of them would dare to challenge you in this moment, so they sat in silence, a palpable tension hanging in the air.
Half expecting your own anger to diminish and half aiming to toy with their overwhelming emotions, you didn't lift your gaze until you had quietly finished your notes, feeling the atmosphere shift as the door clicked shut. The silence was loud, you could almost hear the rapid beat of their hearts as they anxiously waited for your next move. 
Finally, you looked up, intercalating eye contact with both men. You wetted your lips before standing, placing your hands firmly on the table and leaning slightly forward, radiating an air of superiority. Your gaze deepened in reprimand, your jaw clenched and your breath was feeling heavier each second.
Jake avoided keeping looking at you for too long, distracting himself with a cup placed on the table instead. The room seemed to shrank around him, his air ways seemed to close little by little and breathing became a hard task. The weight of your piercing stare and your painful silence made him feel small, ashamed, inadequate. His chest tightened with a growing sense of nervousness and self-doubt.
Jake hated being scolded, it triggered a wave of reflections about his abilities and intelligence, intensifying some of his insecurities, and mostly, it amplified his longing for validation that only praises could fulfill. 
What Jake cherished most about you was that you never reprimanded without eventually offering a compliment, skillfully highlighting a person’s strengths while still putting them in their place; your words healed wounds instead of opening them.
But right now, that reassurance felt impossibly distant, leaving him to accept the weight of his fate resting in your hands.
Heeseung, on the other hand, harbored a hidden secret that was significantly distracting him at that moment. He was lowkey into receiving degradation to some extent, so he shifted uncomfortably on his chair as he watched you look down at him, because there was no way he could allow himself to get hard right at the moment. 
He swallowed hard, casually placing his trembling hands on his lap in order to try covering up any possible bulge surging on his crotch area, attempting to seem indifferent or just the normal amount of being affected by you.
“I think you both are intelligent enough to realize that your behavior today is inadmissible.” You started to say, voice laced with disappointment, firm. “This is not a playground. This is a workplace. A serious one.” You paused, straightening your posture before starting to walk slowly towards them. They choose to sit at the end of the table as if they were avoiding your close presence. “And I won’t, under any circumstance, accept this happening again in my leadership. Not again.”
As you passed by them, your perfume traveling along within each step, you analyzed how Jake and Heeseung were reacting extremely differently from each other.
Jake looked like a child being scolded by their parents, sinking into the chair with a small pout, his puppy eyes lowered in pure guilt. Whereas Heeseung was agitated, legs bouncing anxiously beneath the table, his fingers fidgeting his rings while his eyes seemed to be in an internal battle between whether to glaze on you or not.
“Am I making myself clear?” you asked, your voice cutting through the silence with authority, your hands now grabbing the back of Heeseung’s chair. He shivered.
Jake nodded quickly, still avoiding your sharp eyes.
Heeseung, however, didn’t respond. His chest rose and fell slowly, his breath visibly heavy as he tried to maintain composure. He wanted to act indifferent, to pretend that your words weren’t having such an intense effect on him, struggling to halter his mind from drifting far away from that context, but the tension in his body was far too obvious to ignore, especially when you positioned yourself behind him, noticing his shoulders stiffening.
His whole body has heated up.
You arched an eyebrow, leaning your body enough to scan his side profile with your head slightly tilted, your curiosity piquing stronger with the lack of response.
“Heeseung?” you prompted, voice dropping an octave.
For a split second, he hesitated before nodding as well, afraid of his voice coming out as a moan.
“Yes, I understand,” he finally said, voice soft, nearly wavering as he did so.
You straightened up again, now walking back to your initial position.
Jake and Heeseung shared a common and painful thought; you held the weight of their fate in your hands, having the power to release them from your management at any moment if that sounded right to you. Given their trail of missteps they had, it felt almost inevitable that your final word would be anything similar to that. 
The idea alone made their hearts ache in despair.
“I expected better from both of you. And I know you are capable of doing better.”
You casted a last warning stare and Jake fluttered his eyes shut instantly, waiting for the harshful words, the one that would tighten the knot in his stomach. Heeseung clenched his fists, gulping. You noticed both right away.
“Besides, I don’t have time to babysit your egos,” you paused again, this time just for an extra drama, because you would never dismiss their incredible skills due to simple and solvable mistakes like that.
Knowing your workers' behaviors, you had faith they would find a way out of their messy situation – and you expected yourself to do as well. Also, you couldn’t deny the sinking feeling in your chest of giving up on them, the flashing red lights screaming in your head about how deeply invested you grew into their beings, surrounding you like magnets.
No matter how tangled it appeared, your fondness for them remained. For both of them.
Yet, occupying a higher rank in the workplace meant you had to keep up the appearance of superiority and remind them of their positions, of their responsibilities. 
“Let alone time for your silly little games.”
Jake's face flushed an even deeper shade as the realization hit him. You were, now, fully aware of their competition.
However, a hint of relief began to wash over him as you wrapped up your speech, signaling that you weren't dismissing them away from your management.
“That’s all.”
Heeseung, on the other hand, couldn’t stop fidgeting. 
Although his heart raced now comfortably with your unspokenly reassurance about their destinations in the company, it was so fucking hard to concentrate in anything other than how hot you were right at that moment with your dominant stance.
Your sharp words and bossy demeanor talked down on him and all he could think was how desperately he needed you.
He shifted in his seat again, the discomfort in his pants growing with each agonizing second.
“You’re not kicking us out?” Jake was the one bold enough to voice out a nuance of their river of anxious thoughts, his slightly trembling voice filling the room.
Heeseung glanced briefly at his colleague and then to you, waiting for your answer.
“No, I’m not.”
“Thank you.” Jake urged, almost desperate as his shoulders loosened visibly. 
Even with your heart pounding in your chest at the thought of their main concern being only that, you maintained your firm demeanor.
“Don’t see it as a favor, ” you said. 
Your gaze was unwavering, challenging them to meet your seriousness. Heeseung swallowed hard, because he felt his dick literally pulsing as you glanced at him; his blushed cheeks intriguing your curiosity once again, since that kind of reaction was unusual from him.
Jake opened his mouth to respond, but the words caught in his throat.
“Sorry,” he finally managed, his eyes darting between you and Heeseung, who seemed to be struggling with his own internal conflict; his forehead was pure sweat at that point, and he questioned himself when the room turned into hell. 
“You’re good to go,” you concluded, watching as both men relaxed just a bit, the tension easing, but the air remained thick with unspoken feelings.
Your eyes tracked their steps until they reached the door, both sharing a glance before darting their eyes back to you. You offered a little nod of reassurance and they flashed back a small smile before closing the door behind them.
"Oh my god, you're nasty.” Jake whispered a little too loud as soon as they left the room, shooting Heeseung a look of mock mixed with repulse. “Did you really get turned on just because she got mad at us?"
Heeseung smirked, amusement dancing in his eyes. "Why? You didn't?" 
“No!” Jake shook his head, acting like Heeseung said the wrongest thing in the world. “That’s gross. You’re disgusting.”
“Please, don’t act like you don’t run to the bathroom every time she gives you a compliment.” Heeseung rolled his eyes, a cocky grin creeping onto his lips. Jake widened his eyes, stopping in his tracks.
“You’re seriously saying that?!” Jake exclaimed, incredulous, fixing his glasses on his nose’s bridge. 
“You’re always wagging your tail around Y/N, waiting for some praise like a little puppy, Jake,” Heeseung said, still smiling teasingly.
“Shut up, Heeseung.” Jake quickly glanced around to check if anyone was eavesdropping, shoving his colleague's shoulder. “You’re still disgusting, kiss-ass.”
Heeseung chuckled, unfazed. “Whatever.”
And then he headed to the bathroom, because this time, he was the one with some other problems to deal with. 
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The next day felt a bit odd. In every nuance possible.
Jake couldn't shake the weird sensation that you were actively avoiding him, as if his proximity was a reminder of his disappointment. He never wanted you to feel frustrated with his work, let alone with him personally. Yet, there was little he could do to change the situation except offer his support.
So, he made his way to your office, hesitantly pushing the slightly opened door. You were seated at your desk, frowning in concentration as you poured over stacks of paper, your lips pursed in a little pout – a cute habit he cherished heartfully.
A soft knock at the wooden surface was enough to bring your attention to Jake. You barely smiled, your expression was neutral, facing Jake as if he was a regular co-worker. He couldn’t help the shiver running all the way down his spine remembering about the times you greeted with a bright grin as your face lit up. 
He cleared his throat before saying, voice low, close to a whisper; there were layers of hesitation and fear. 
“Do you need any help, Y/N?” 
You blinked a few times and looked down at your papers before you shook your head, denying. “No, I’m fine. Thanks.” 
Maybe it was the manner Jake was reading the world throughout that very specific day, after the whole scolding situation, after how mad you seemed to genuinely be with him and Heeseung… But you sounded way more dry than he expected. Not even his name being voiced out, not even a smile. Just a simple, mere discard. 
“Oh…” He faltered, his puppy eyes casting downward, trailing to the floor as he fidgeted with his fingers. “So… I’ll be at my desk if you need anything.”
“Sure. Thank you.”
After Jake closed the door, granting the privacy you needed and valued, he walked back to his desk, unaware of how affected with his visit you were behind the closed door. 
“What happened?” Heeseung was quick to notice his colleague’s mood after he sat beside him – his pout was ridiculously big.
“I think Y/N hates me,” Jake mumbled, his voice laced with defeat.
“Oh, that’s great. More chances for me,” Heeseung replied, a scornful smirk on his lips as he leaned back, relaxing on his chair.
However, Jake didn’t respond to his teasing the way he expected; he let out a deep breath and gave a small shrug, a reaction to which piqued Heeseung’s curiosity further.
Heeseung approached closer, narrowed eyes searching for a hint of humor or anything similar. When he only found a melancholic scowl, he sighed. 
Was Jake really believing in that? If so, he was damned as well. Not to mention that Jake’s sad frown was heartbreaking.
“Listen,” he began, wetting his lips as he reluctantly placed a comforting hand on Jake's shoulder. “She’s probably just busy. Remember how important this client is for the company and for her?” Jake nodded, still avoiding Heeseung's gaze. “So don’t worry, she doesn’t hate you. She’s just focused.” He reassured. “Yesterday we kinda… crossed the line. But we did it together, right? If she hates you, then she hates me.”
Jake finally lifted his head, meeting an unexpected comfort in Heeseung’s eyes, something rare, considering he was used to Heeseung’s overconfident mannerism – his constant arrogant charm effortlessly got under his skin.
Yet, on that day, and despite Heeseung’s choice of words not being ideal, he had a gentle presence that softened the weight of Jake's feelings.
“You don’t want me winning so easily, do you?” Heeseung nudged Jake's side with playful familiarity, proving that his teasing nature hadn’t entirely vanished. Jake squirmed, a small smile breaking through his previous sorrowness.
“Fuck off.”
And how odd it was finding friendship with someone who had once been your rival?
Jake and Heeseung's camaraderie has bloomed in unexpected ways ever since. They began to explore new parts of their – now – friendship, discovering some sharing interests and even trading work tips, constantly being seen lunching together or just laughing with each other.
Jake now would chuckle at Heeseung's silly jokes, and Heeseung came to appreciate Jake's instincts for insights, something that often surprised him.
You were still the center of their conversations, but instead of competing to prove themselves worthy of you, they chose a different route, one where admiring you from a distance became their shared priority.
“Did you see how she looked today?” Jake asked once, his voice soft and almost awestruck. “My god, my heart actually hurts,” he dramatically placed one hand on his chest, closing his eyes, feigning the aching feeling.
Heeseung nodded with a small smile, leaning back in his chair. “I know, right? And that smile?” He sighed theatrically, also clutching his chest. “I swear, it’s dangerous.”
Jake chuckled, shaking his head. “She’s gonna be the death of us.”
Heeseung glanced at him, smirking. “Worth it.”
“Definitely worth it,” Jake agreed with a dreamy sigh.
Sadly, you missed out this big chapter of their lives, stuck with loads of paperwork that no one else could do, besides you. 
But, ultimately, it was your own fault, as you chose to ignore them, believing it was the most sensible way to handle your feelings.
After the day of the reprimand, instead of carrying on with your usual routine, you felt a heavy weight in your chest. You were upset about the scold and how they seemed downcast, almost disappointed in themselves after hearing your words.
Unlike other times when you had to call out others to get them back on track, this time you couldn’t shake the feeling that you had done something wrong, even if your intentions were justified.
You struggled to find the right place to be, overworking yourself as an excuse to spend some time alone, going over and over your thoughts in order to find somewhere to be, and with every second you just found yourself missing them more and more.
Heeseung’s playful teasing, always with an undertone of flirtation. Jake’s natural ease in helping you solve problems. The brief touches during Heeseung’s coffee runs, when your skin would brush against his just so. Jake’s clumsiness, which often led to scattered papers and the soft, accidental graze of fingers as you both reached down to pick them up.
Not to add the brand new fact that everything resembled them. The mug on your desk, your coffees, the knocks on your door – you eagerly expected to be them –, even when going home and seeing their parking spot empty.
Neither Heeseung nor Jake had openly discussed their feelings with you, but their recent behavior and your last encounter only served to reinforce your theory.
They both liked you.
Ironically, you felt the same way about both of them and so far, had no intention of choosing one over the other – that being your primary reason for your reclusion, as it became clear that they wouldn’t easily get along, so distancing yourself seemed like the best way to suppress your feelings for them.
Your internal conflict wasn’t about picking Heeseung or Jake, but between choosing Heeseung and Jake or none. 
Still, this choice also depended on their openness to share, and their constant friction wasn’t exactly helpful.
When you started to catch small glimpses of Heeseung and Jake wandering around your office floor, talking with each other with an odd enthusiasm and bright smiles, it piqued your curiosity as much as your mind relaxed, because those single actions seemed as a possible way out, as though it built a softened spot to your offer. 
At the end of two intense weeks, you finally felt like breathing again. And apparently your mind seemed to be in the right place. So after finishing the last part from your project, you called Jake and Heeseung into your office, feeling a mix of apprehension and relief as you waited. 
Your legs bounced impatiently, counting the agonizing seconds. In the back of your mind, you had carefully architected the words you wanted to say, such as how much you missed them, how happy you were to work with them again, and maybe even a question or two about their random, unexpected friendship.
You hoped they had sorted things out to some extent, because during your time alone, you yourself had been reflecting on your own feelings and was sure about your decision.
The knock on the door startled you, snapping you back into reality. Your heartbeats raced as you allowed their entrance and the door clicked. 
You took a moment to study the way they exchanged curious glances before focusing on you. They seemed to be the same, handsome as ever, Jake with his usual flustered cheeks and uneven positioned glasses and Heeseung with his gentle, flirty smile.
“Hi,” you greeted, pointing to the chairs in front of your desk. They sat.
“Hi,” Jake answered, mimicking your soft tone.
“Hello,” Heeseung, on the other hand, said confidently, relaxed. “Long time no see, huh?” 
You smiled shyly, after all it was your decision not to be with them for those busy days. 
“Yeah… And I think I owe you an apology,” you began without hesitation, your voice steady, yet, layered with comfort and genuine happiness for seeing them after what felt like ages. “I might have gone too harsh on you two the other day.” 
You were referring to the day you scolded them, the same day Heeseung left your room with a strange behavior, to say the least, if not interesting, and Jake with his tail between his legs. But internally, you also felt sorry for avidly avoiding them. 
“No, it’s fine,” Heeseung brushed it off with a casual wave of his hand, his characteristic smirk on the corner of his lips brightening the whole room. “We deserved it.” He admitted with a tender tone, then he looked at Jake. “Besides, we’re good now, right, Jakey?”
“Oh, are we?” You asked, crossing your arms, a hint of playful skepticism and shock in your tone as you leaned on your chair, eyes flickering in between the two men.
“Yeah, we definitely are,” Jake replied, his sincere smile making it clear that he meant it.
You couldn’t help but also smile at their interaction, the familiar warmth returning to the atmosphere, replacing the tense, weightened previous one. 
“Thank you for figuring it out.” Your voice was sweet as honey as you leaned forward over the desk, causing Heeseung and Jake to almost melt at how endearing you sounded. “I’ve been drowning with work lately. Couldn’t reach out to you sooner.” You gave your excuse and they both gave you an understanding nod, to which ached your heart a little. They seemed so genuine. “But I missed you, if I’m being honest. I really lov– like having you in my team. Having you by my side.”
If your sudden call wasn’t strange enough, that was strange.
Not only did you stumble over your words, but you also showed embarrassment, with your cheeks turning a subtle shade of red and your eyes faltering, almost like you were confessing to a crush. 
And honestly? To Heeseung and Jake, it felt like a confession.
At least, their reaction was as if they had just heard a confession, because not even in their wildest dreams could they have imagined you admitting that you missed them, let alone hearing you saying the words “having you by my side” all together. 
Heeseung’s heart was racing, his brain doing a 360 enough to leave him dizzy, his eyes slightly widened and he shifted on his seat, straightening his posture.
Jake’s hands were sweating since you called, but now they also trembled. An electrifying wave filled his chest, making the simple act of breathing feel difficult. 
“And again, I’m sorry if I was too hard on you both. And I really am glad you’re getting along, as well,” you rushed to add before either of them could respond, though the way they were looking at you made your heart race. It was clear they had noticed your nervous self. “Though... this does make things a bit more complicated. Or maybe not.” You mumbled to yourself when your eyes parted ways from them, furrowing your brow as you tilted your head slightly.
In the past few days, you had developed the habit of talking to yourself to sort something out through the chaotic thoughts and tangled feelings spinning in your mind – Jake and Heeseung being in each of them, without a doubt. But this time you weren’t alone. 
When you saw Heeseung narrowing his eyes with mouth slightly agape and Jake glancing at you with curiosity as the corner of his lips turned upwards, you froze.
Then they exchanged a brief, quiet glance before looking back at you.
“What do you mean by that?” Heeseung was the first one to ask, leaning forward just enough to express how interested he was in your slip-up. His pulse raced with the thoughts that flowed through his head.
“Yeah, what makes what complicated?” Jake added to the question, arching an eyebrow, stepping in the same field as Heeseung.
You blinked, their expectant stares making you want to shrink into your chair. 
Your office window was open and let in a cold, long breeze that indicated the weather was about to change. You shivered, however, you couldn’t pinpoint if it was due to the air brushing your exposed skin or because of your current situation.
“Oh, um,” you stammered, running a hand through your hair nervously – a habit Jake and Heeseung were pretty aware of. “I didn’t mean to say that! I– I was gonna say it’s good to know you’re… closer now.” You squinted, struggling a lot to find a way out for yourself. “It makes things easier and more interesting, actually, I guess,” you let out an awkward chuckle, biting your lower lip as you quickly grabbed your bottle of water and took a long sip, avidly avoiding their eyes. 
Jake’s smile widened, his eyes twinkling with a newfound spark of emotions. “Easier and interesting, huh?”
“Yeah!” You nodded immediately. “Easier for our dynamic. And interesting… Because it’s us three, working together, everybody getting along and stuff…” You explained, with an exaggerated amount of gestures. “If I’m being honest, I had some things to figure out as well.” You confessed for some random reason you weren’t able to identify right away.
After your hard work of days going through the same page, you were losing your composure, you were losing your inner battle, and mainly, you were losing yourself amidst your feelings.
“Like what?” Jake questioned again, his voice soft, sweet as his smile.
Heeseung, on the other hand, was too flabbergasted with the scenario developing in front of him to think straight, so he just watched and prayed for the best outcome, engraving in his mind your every reaction.
You analyzed the two pairs of eyes shooting you the tendernest look, dripping in affection, filled with what you dared to call love. They showed comfort blended with care and a layer of curiosity, afterall, it has to do directly with them and they had a mild good feeling about it.
So you sighed, accepting not your defeat, but your vulnerable state. 
“I felt like I was in the middle of a storm whenever we were in the same room,” you muttered, still maintaining discretion over the topic. “It was frustrating, and I had to figure out why I felt like this.”
“Oh, you still are right in the middle, Y/N.” Heeseung this time rushed to confess and you couldn’t hold back your slightly shocked expression. 
“But I think the storm isn’t happening anymore.” Jake added with a gentle smile, fixing his glasses on his face and placing his hand on the table, your eyes briefly flickering to catch a look of his slender fingers. You swallowed hard. 
“Why were you frustrated, though?” Heeseung asked, cocking his head to the side.
To say he was agitated was an euphemism; he found himself having trouble breathing because not only did you wear the prettiest and hottest clothing that day – a mildly tight dress shirt that emphasized the curves of your boobs –, but the whole situation was out of this word. 
Jake wasn’t different, expecting your reply with his heart aching in despair. He needed to know about what was happening, otherwise he was going to collapse overthinking.
A strong part of either Heeseung and Jake was struggling to maintain the focus in any other possibility, especially because you didn’t demonstrate you liked them back so far, since your natural demeanor to your colleagues was the same – bossy but playful, always reiterating through actions and decisions your superior position over them during work.
However, you seemed to be extra nervous, your face had a faint fluster and you didn’t sound like a manager at all, it was near to a friend type of conversation. It ignited the spark of hope inside their chest.
Once again, without wording it out, they shared a connection. 
As you were about to speak, you felt the fabric of your blouse loosen across your chest, and before you could react, Heeseung and Jake’s eyes instinctively snapped to the same spot, widening.
In sync, you glanced down and realized what had happened. One of your shirt's buttons had popped, revealing a glimpse of your lace bra. 
Your cheeks warmed immediately, a wave of embarrassment washed over you as you damned yourself for choosing such a tight outfit that day, clumsily looking around to find anything that could help cover it.
“Let me just–” Heeseung muttered awkwardly, taking off his jacket and draping it over you in one smooth motion, his fingers lightly brushing your covered shoulders.
Jake's eyes followed his friend’s movements and decided to help as well, as he said “You look good still, don’t worry,” with a small smile, trying to ease the situation and ignoring how he, himself, got affected with just a glimpse of your body.
This is wrong, Jake chanted to himself, trying to shake the thoughts away.
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, gripping Heeseung’s jacket tightly around you, your face still flushed. “And thanks.” You nodded toward him in gratitude.
Heeseung caught Jake's flustered expression out of the corner of his eye and couldn't resist shooting him a playful glance. Then, leaning closer to you, he whispered near your ear, “Maybe the button couldn’t handle how stunning you look today.”
His hands lingered on your shoulders for just a moment before he walked back to his previous spot, a mischievous smirk playing on his lips. 
You fought back the urge of literally clenching around nothing due to his touch, his low voice and his warmth surrounding you.
“Right,” you chuckled softly, rolling your eyes to lighten the mood, though your heart raced rapidly. “Anyway, I just wanted to say I’m sorry about that day, and... I’m really happy that we’re figuring it out.”
The word “we” hung in the air like a delicate sound, and you felt the tension dissipate as a silence enveloped the room, being replaced for another type of weight. Something more affectual, more right.
Heeseung and Jake exchanged a quick, knowing glance before standing up simultaneously, their movements almost in sync.
“I’m glad too,” Heeseung said, his voice a bit softer, offering a small, genuine smile as he adjusted his dress shirt, now without his jacket.
Jake stepped closer to you, meeting your gaze for a second longer than usual before adding, “And just so you know... we missed you too.” His voice was sincere, his eyes filled with something deeper than just friendship.
The confirmation you needed.
And with that, they both left your office, leaving you alone with your thoughts, the lingering warmth of Heeseung's jacket around your shoulders and Jake’s sweet, meaningful words.
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The same storm happening inside your mind seemed to mirror the one unfolding outside, rain cascading down in heavy sheets in front of you as you watched from afar. The sound of water splashing against the pavement might have been poetic in another circumstance.
“Hey.”
The soft voice startled you from your thoughts, and you spun around on your heels to see Heeseung approaching, a curious yet gentle smile on his face. His presence felt warm amidst the cold drizzle sprinkling through the wind on you.
“Oh, Heeseung!” You greeted, trying to match his energy with a bright smile, though your mind quickly jumped to why he was there. “Your jacket– Right.” You began slipping it off your shoulders, ready to return it to him.
But Heeseung quickly reached out, stopping your movement and pulling the jacket back over you. “No, no– Don’t worry about it,” he interrupted smoothly, his hand lingering for a second longer on the fabric as he gave you a reassuring look. Then his expression shifted, brows furrowing slightly in confusion. “But, uh, what are you doing out here?”
“Oh,” you glanced back out at the rain, pulling the jacket a little tighter around yourself, “I’m just waiting for the rain to ease up a bit so I can call an Uber.”
Heeseung frowned deeply, his gaze flicking toward the street and back to you. “Wait, don’t you have a car?”
You sighed, shaking your head slightly. “I do, or I did until this morning when it decided to break down.”
“Ah,” he nodded, processing your words before falling quiet for a moment. He shifted on his feet, as if trying to decide his next move, as if a strong battle was happening between his brain and heart. The rain wasn’t easing at all, and something sparkled in him – a protective instinct, perhaps. Or maybe a justification to keep you closer.
Heeseung cleared his throat. “I could take you home,” he suggested casually, though he felt a small rush of nerves rise. He wasn’t sure if he was overstepping.  “How does that sound?”
You smiled at him, grateful for the offer but quick to shake your head.
“I wouldn’t want to put you through that. You live way too far from my place,” you chuckled softly, nearly teasing. “Besides, I’m already stealing your jacket. I can’t steal your time, too.”
Heeseung’s lips curved into a small grin, but there was something deeper behind his eyes as he shrugged.
“It’s really nothing,” he said softly, his voice calm and sincere. “The jacket and the time – it doesn’t matter. I’ve got all the time in the world for you, Y/N.” He stepped just a little closer, the warmth of his presence cutting through the coldness of the rain. “And, you know… the rain doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon.”
You looked back at him, feeling a flutter in your chest at his words. The idea of being in a closed space with him for too long seemed wrong. The feeling of being his superior, being in a higher position in a company you both worked, stirred your conflict.
However, you had already clocked out. It was not about working anymore.
It was about your fear of losing your control when being in a space where there were no rules preventing you from kissing his oh, so tempting lips. 
Heeseung seemed to be in the middle of a fight as well, and it somehow helped you in your decision, as you smiled kindly, mimicking his same expression – soft, lovingly. 
“Okay.”
The drive was smooth, calm and with some words being exchanged on the way; you instructed the directions every once and a while, and Heeseung glanced at you within the excuse to listen to them correctly, but the real reason was to capture the image of you being so close.
As Heeseung pulled into the underground parking lot of your apartment building, the rain still pounded on the outside ground, seeming no close from ending.
You both sat for a moment, the quiet hum of the car serving as a background for the intriguing silence, as well as the sound of the relentless storm. 
Heeseung looked over at you, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips as you waited for your courage to build up completely with the thought that crossed your mind in a flicker of seconds. 
“Safe and sound.” His voice was sweet and low, a perfect blend to fuel your core into responding immediately, your throat feeling dry, your body temperature increasing. 
You chuckled lightly. “Yeah.”
Your eyes searched for his and invisible strings connected them for what felt like hours, your skin tingling, aching to touch him in any possible way, just a taste, just a crumb of him. 
“Thank you,” you whispered, noticing that Heeseung’s gleaming orbs followed the motion of your lips before coming back to your eyes, then it seemed to trace your features, taking in sweetly, tenderly. 
Heeseung was so fucking in love. 
You had your hair messy due to the humidity frizz, your makeup was a little smeared and your face showed a mix of tiredness and something he read as hesitation. Still, you were absolutely stunning.
He gulped down nothing, his eyelids slowly blinking as he engraved your perfect features. 
Unexpectedly or not, you were no different. You really appreciated every bit of Heeseung’s traits, how he would be smiling with the right amount of affection and flirtiness, his touches always tender and respectful, his words aiming and hitting right into your heart.
Heeseung was gentle as a lullaby, soothing and embracing. He was warm, comforting. 
“Do you want to come up and wait it out? No point in driving back through this rain.” You asked, voice barely above a whisper. 
A faint shocking expression washed over Heeseung’s face before he relaxed. 
“You sure? I don’t wanna bother you.”
You were quick to deny it with a head shake. “You’d never. Besides, I owe you a proper thank you for the jacket and the ride.”
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There was some tension in the air as you both took the elevator quietly and walked towards your apartment. A different kind, almost tempting of tension. The same one that appeared when Heeseung and Jake stood in the same room as you after all of you sorted out things a bit.
It triggered your eagerness, fueled your desire, taunted your urge to kiss Heeseung and remove his clothes if he let you do it.
You mastered the art of detaching work from home and vice versa, and for that reason you hesitated before inviting Heeseung over, because you were aware your apartment was your safe space to feel everything you suppressed during the day.
With Heeseung’s scent enveloping you, the phantom of his touch lingering on your skin and the memories of his eyes lighting up when he saw you after so long, you feared to surrender to your deep, intense desires and screw up what just got resolved. 
You fought to keep that flame contained, reminding yourself not to seem desperate or to scare Heeseung out. The two weeks being apart didn’t help at all, each day had stretched on, filled with an aching longing for some closeness, not only with Heeseung but with Jake too.
Both men stirred something deep within you, igniting feelings of passion and affection that were dangerously intoxicating. And right at that moment, you shared an intimate setting with one of them.
You felt your heart race as you caught glimpses of Heeseung's shy smirk and those captivating eyes that always made you melt, never leaving yours, reading you like his favorite book.
As you opened the door, Heeseung excused himself while entering your living room, following your trail.
“Do you accept anything? Water? A drink, maybe?” You asked politely.
“No, I’m fine. Thanks.”
“Alright,” you smiled. “You can sit on the sofa, don’t be shy.” You said playfully before heading to the kitchen to get yourself something and to avoid being too close, your last view being Heeseung with flustered cheeks sitting on your couch.
Heeseung was a mess, and thanked you internally when you left him alone so he could breathe properly. He fluttered his eyes close, a movie of his day happening on the big screen of his mind, reminding him that you showed awareness of his situation with Jake, and somehow, it felt like you were open to trying something with both of them.
God, he genuinely hoped that was the case. Otherwise, he would be in deep trouble, his expectations shattered into fragments, and he would have to pick up the pieces alone – without Jake, with whom he had constructed such a personal and intense friendship during the recent days.
The possibility of you choosing Jake over him overtook a big place in his mind.
He had enough confidence in a confrontation, but the moment he recognized Jake's unique personality, he began to question whether the best choice for you was, in fact, Jake.
He still wanted you – desperately –, but nothing stopped him from believing that you deserved the very best. You had always deserved the best.
And how disgusted would you be to know that he got aroused just thinking about being in your apartment, close to your intimacy? Or that your fierce, assertive side made him go hard? Disgusting.
Ironically, the thought of you feeling repulsed by him only fueled his desire to have you in ways that went beyond a mere working friendship. He was acting like a pervert. 
He worked hard to get into your heart, and when you finally let him in, he was lost, he didn’t know what to do. It was pure chaos.
And now, he found himself getting turned on, caught in the mix of emotions and desires he couldn’t contain anymore. 
“I should get going,” he whispered to himself, unaware that you had returned from the kitchen and were watching him from behind.
“Should you?”
He nearly jumped in his seat at your bold, sudden question, turning his head just enough to catch a look of you now without his jacket, yet, with the same shirt. The exact same shirt that had the fucking button popped open and gave him a sneak peek of your cleavage and part of your boobs.
There was a smile dancing on the corner of your lips, an feigned air of innocence accompanying your features, yet you still seemed devilish. 
“It’s still raining, Heeseung,” you pointed out the obvious, using it as an excuse to keep him there. “Stay for a while. I’m sure we can entertain each other, yeah?”
Heeseung was speechless. 
He had a knot on his throat preventing words from coming out of his mouth, and he panicked when noticed your expression faltering before his silence.
You blinked out of your sudden courageous trance, your whole body shifting into something more restrained as you broke eye contact. 
“I mean, we can order something to eat and–”
“No,” he urged to interrupt you, leaving his briefcase on your couch as he stood up. His steps were light, but confident as he reached closer. “I’m sure we can enjoy each other’s presence for a little longer.”
The moment those words hung in the air, something snapped within you as if it was everything you needed to get your control back. Not the workplace, manager type of control, but control over him.
You closed the distance in an instant, capturing his lips with yours eagerly. Heeseung reacted instinctively, returning the kiss with equal desperation and desire, his hands roaming across your body as if trying to memorize every inch of you, squeezing your ass, your thighs, your waist, anything that put him closer to you.
The kiss deepened in seconds, a wild mix of urgency and need lingering on your tongues as they danced together, desperate for more.
What you had longed for just a few weeks, Heeseung had yearned for months.
He tasted as lustful as he seemed to be, touching the right places, pulling you near as he pressed you against him intensely. Your hands gripped on his shoulders trying to balance yourself as he guided you both towards a wall, your back hitting it softly although the shared touch was intense.
As your bodies moved in sync, you could feel the hardness of his dick pressing against you, especially when he started to involuntarily grind on you. A mischievous smirk tugged on the corner of your lips as you parted the heated kiss, searching for his beautiful eyes – now filled with craving.
“Oh, look at you,” you cooed, trailing down your hands just enough to graze his crotch area. “Already like this?” You gave it a small squeeze, eliciting a moan from him. “And I haven’t even done anything yet, huh?”
There was a clear amusement in your whole expression as you glazed your eyes with Heeseung’s deepened ones. His breath hitched at your words, a mix of embarrassment and excitement flooding his cheeks, sending a pulse straight to his cock. Your acknowledgment of his premature and humiliating state of arousal and how your eyes sparkled with mischief sent a thrill wave through him.
“You have no idea what you’re doing to me,” he admitted, his voice low and broken, desire dripping off it as he held you tightly and tried to kiss you again. 
You swerve to the side, teasingly. “Maybe I do,” you replied, your voice sultry as you leaned in closer, brushing your lips on his, tempting a kiss that you didn’t let happen.
Your hands maintained a mild friction against his hardness, giving just enough stimulation to drive him wild. You watched with delight as his hooded eyes struggled to stay open, his mouth slightly agape, letting out the prettiest sounds just for you.
Heeseung was already falling apart, and the mere thought of it excited you even more.
You chuckled softly before pressing a playful kiss to his cheek. “What should I do with you, hmm?” you murmured, kissing the other cheek. “So needy, aren’t you?”
His breathing quickened, and the flush on his cheeks deepened. “Please…” he begged, desperation lacing his tone as he once again tried to capture your lips. He wanted you so badly he was becoming impatient. 
You arched an eyebrow and smirked, your eyes catching every single reaction of him.
“Please what? You’ll have to be more specific than that, Hee.” You feigned innocent eyes, batting your eyelashes as if you weren't touching his clothed cock, his hips continuing to press forward searching for more. 
You placed another kiss, this time, on the corner of his lips, taunting. 
“Kiss me, please.” Heeseung whispered, and as his mouth tracked yours, you let him in with his attempt, his tongue immediately finding its pleasure in yours.
Heeseung moaned with how good you tasted, growing addicted within every second; he could spend hours kissing you, he came to realize. Nonetheless, his painful and neglected length was screaming for some more attention, especially because the fabric of his boxers and pants prevented a bolder, bare touch, and making out with you would do nothing except make it hurt more.
“Where’s your bedroom?” He questioned not really giving you space to answer, his mouth busy sucking your lower lip and tongue.
You let go of his erection to start to remove his dress shirt as you mumbled the direction to him before he grabbed you by your thighs, lifting your body with an unexpected ease as he led you two towards the said room. The opened door made it easier for Heeseung to enter, placing you on the soft mattress of your bed, hovering over your heated body, craving for more.
“You’re so hot,” he whispered against the flesh of your neck and then started to nibble the area, sucking and kissing as if his life depended on it. His hands found their way everywhere, all of his movements expressed how desperate he was for you.
“So are you,” you were able to respond, catching a glimpse of his tanned torso.
Heeseung had a tattoo that covered part of his left rib and you took a mental note to give it the due attention later.
Your fingers threaded through his hair, grabbing it with a mild strength, enough to guide him, so he could put his lips where you wanted. Heeseung let you control, going down to your exposed cleavage and distracting you as he started to unbutton your shirt so he had your laced bra holding your breasts in full display.
“So fucking beautiful,” he marveled in a whisper as he straightened his posture enough to drink from the view – you seemed so dreamy under him with your heavy breathing, swollen kiss parted with a hint of a smile and eyes filled with lust. 
It took seconds for Heeseung to return to his mission to dive into you after removing your bra with your assistance. His mouth toyed with each of your nipples, warm tongue making wonders as you squirmed a little, making no effort to hold back your sounds as you moaned, your panties long gone ruined with your wetness.
There was a feeling haunting the corners of Heeseung’s mind that defocused him a fraction from his actions, though. A fear of losing this proximity, losing the possibility of kissing you, losing his chances, losing you.
The more his tongue danced on your smooth skin, the more it felt bittersweet.
He figured his chances hovered around 50%, from what he had interpreted your intentions – maybe you would test what he had to give, comparing to Jake afterwards, then deciding on one of them?
The idea of sharing you never crossed his mind, not from jealousy; a little, sure, but it wasn’t just that. Sharing felt unrealistic, because he couldn’t see you making such a bold choice.
You sensed his sudden hesitation, how his fingers paused momentarily before resuming their exploration of your body, how his breath was irregular and not from arousal, but from something deeper, as if an inner conflict held him back.
“I don’t know what’s going through your mind right now, but I’m pretty sure you don’t need to worry about it,” you murmured softly, your voice cutting through the haze in his head and bringing him back to you.
He blinked, his eyes searched for yours and found tranquility on it, even behind the intensity of the momentum. You offered a delicate and unique space that allowed him to be free with himself, that being one of the reasons he started to have his feelings for you. 
You had an approachable aura, an adorable soothing voice and a way to play with words that anyone felt easy to open up with you.
“What if I’m thinking about–" He started, his voice small, but the fear of ruining the mood, of disappointing you, stopped him quickly. He shook his head, leaning in closer. “Forget it.”
“You’re safe here, Heeseung,” you said, your hand caressing his face with a tenderness that calmed him instantly. A reassuring smile appeared on your lips and the atmosphere shifted into something serene amidst its intensity. “No judgments. I’m not going anywhere.”
His lips pressed against the palm of your hand, and he placed his own over it, slowly moving it away from his cheek as he began trailing kisses up your arm, deliberate, heated kisses from your wrist to your shoulder, from your neck to your jaw, until it finally met your mouth.
It was slow, purposeful, filled with a restrained intensity that sent a shiver through your body and left you breathless. Heeseung wanted to show just a quarter of how much he needed you, afraid of overwhelming you with how his love for you felt, but equally terrified of losing you mid-battlefield.
In the midst of chaos, you became the only compass that guided him back home. You were the soul that gave meaning to everything, the calm after a relentless storm, the strength that kept him sane. Each passing day, he yearned for your presence, as if the mere thought of having you near made the world brighter – and it did. 
Your smile healed wounds he didn’t even know he had. You were always there for him, helping, listening, playing along with his jokes.
It was absurd, painful, and intense, and he was ridiculously in love with that feeling, and most of all, he was deeply in love with you.
“I want you so badly,” he whispered in a confessing tone when the kiss finally broke. “I want you every day, every second.” He kissed you again, his hands sneaking into your hair to grip your nape, pulling you closer. It felt like walking in quicksand. “It hurts to think I might lose you.”
In different circumstances, you would interpret that statement as a common fear of a lover regarding their passion. However, the context was more intricate, more delicate; there was a third person – Jake – who would also receive a similar treatment, and it struck you deep in your chest to recognize that Heeseung’s fear of being replaced felt constant and was becoming more vivid in that moment, as he realized he was having a piece of you.
Taking a deep breath, you met his hesitant gaze, your heart racing as you tried to articulate your thoughts.
“Heeseung,” you began softly, your voice barely above a whisper. His bambi eyes sparkled with a mix of fear and affection. “You don’t have to worry about this now, ok?” You reassured once again, his chest loosening the tight feeling, because you would always have that effect on him. “I have things figured out. Kind of.” You giggled timidly and Heeseung just realized he had a new favorite sound.
Your fingers gently tangled in his hair, your body warmth reminding you just how eager you were, the phantom of his mouth working on your body serving as a lascivious reminiscence.
“But let me have you tonight first, please?”
Heeseung’s breath hitched, reading your deep, lustful eyes. 
How could he refuse such a sweet plea?
“Yes,” he breathed, urgency coloring his voice, caring little for how desperate he sounded – because he was. “Yes, please.”
Almost like a snap of fingers, the atmosphere around you ignited once more, your room seeming to close in around the two of you as his eyes darkened with desire. Heeseung sounded so deliciously desperate that your only response was to gently turn him until his back hit the bed, positioning yourself above him.
Your hands caressed the bare flesh of his chest, fingertips grazing softly on his nipples and ribs, where they stopped for a while. Heeseung winced with the amazing feeling of you admiring him, your light-feather touch enough to send a wave of arousal straight to his dick.
“You are one of the most gorgeous men I have ever seen, Heeseung,” it was your time to marvel him, smiling lovingly as you used the tip of your nail to draw along his dragon tattoo. “And I’m so fucking lucky to have you like this right now.”
Your voice was filled with sultriness, velvety as ever as you lowered yourself to press your lips on his low stomach, eyes never breaking contact. Heeseung shivered once more under your intense gaze, watching you sneak one your hands on his pants’ waistband, unbuttoning it just to remove it completely and toss it somewhere else on your room’s floor. 
You stood up just to remove your pants as well, keeping on your laced panties, savoring the view of Heeseung’s chest rising and falling deeply, eyes dripping honey and desire as he also devoured your body.  
“You know, I have a feeling that you like something…” You started to say with a thoughtful voice as you leaned closer, placing yourself back on top of him.
“You?” 
You let out a genuine chuckle, shaking your head. Heeseung had a small smile on his lips and looked at you with curiosity. 
“No,” you answered, voice smooth as your hand trailed slowly up and down on his chest. “I think you like being… put in your place,” you smirked, watching his expression shifting into a mild shocking, then darkening at your words as his breath caught in his throat. “I noticed how you reacted when I was scolding you and Jake…” You kept on talking, now playing with the waistband of his boxers, teasingly; his prominent Adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped nervously. “Getting hard just because I was mad, huh?” 
Heeseung had blushed cheeks while failing to keep on looking at you, running away from your sly gaze, before he muttered, embarrassed, “I don’t know what you are talking abo–”
“Oh, you do know,” you purred, your voice lowering an octave. “Don’t act all shy now, Lee Heeseung,” you forced your tone to sound close to a reprimand, flashing a sharp look at him as you freed his throbbing dick from his last clothing piece. 
Heeseung groaned quietly in between his heavy breath as you admired his length’s flushed appearance, how hard and wet with precum it was, dripping for you. Your mouth watered and your hands itched, aching to give that man some more relief.
“Just give me the green signal and I’ll make you feel so good, Hee,” you voiced out as you glazed your eyes on his, your own body reacting to his state of desperation sending pulsing waves straight to your cunt.
His legs squirmed under you as you lowered your face, closing the distance between his cock and your mouth. Your breath brushed against its skin and Heeseung winced. “Please…” He whispered, nodding. “It’s hurting.”
You smirked. “There you go…” And tilted your head slightly, slowly grabbing his hardness with one hand.
Just the touch of your soft and warm hand enveloping his shaft had him closing his eyes and biting his lip, holding back an embarrassing moan that threatened to escape.
“You’re so needy,” you cooed teasingly with a quirked eyebrow, eyeing Heeseung with a faux disdain as he opened his eyelids just to catch a glimpse of it, his dick twitching under your fingers. 
“Yes, please,” his hips buckled forward as he whimpered, searching for more. “I am needy, please, keep touching me, Y/N–”
“Yeah?” A devilish smile tugged on the corner of your lips as you started stroking faster. “A little pathetic, Heeseung. Don’t you think so? All of this just for some handjob…” You clicked your tongue without halting your movements, neither letting your grin disappear. “Lucky to you, you’re just how I like it.”
Heeseung's breath hitched at your words, his chest heaving as he tried to keep himself grounded, but the teasing was overwhelmingly delicious. The way you handled him, every squeeze of your hand making him feel both humiliated and completely at your mercy. His mind fogged with pleasure, and it became harder to think, to hold back, to stay composed, his own body and voice betraying his attempts of holding back. 
When you started to give his tip more attention by cupping your hand on it and your tongue flattering against it, as if you taunted a full blowjob, he found himself near to the edge already.
Not only was he living his wettest dream, but your expertise on knowing exactly what and how to get him going eased his release to get closer and closer.
You noticed Heeseung's moans intensifying and his body squirming more than before. Although it was your first time with him, you easily deduced that he was close to reaching his climax.
But you had other plans.
Without any warning, you stopped everything – your hands, your mouth – retreating from his body, and eliciting a sound from Heeseung that landed somewhere between a cry and a whimper. His wide, desperate bambi eyes gleamed in confusion and frustration.
“N–No– Why–”
“I don’t want you to cum on my hands,” you said feigning innocence, blinking sweetly as if you weren’t ruining his release. 
Reaching over to your nightstand, you grabbed a condom, smoothly rolling it onto Heeseung’s painfully hard cock before positioning yourself over him. As you hovered above his length, you glanced at him, searching for confirmation.
Heeseung had propped himself up on his elbows, his eyes wide, flickering between your sultry expression and the sight of his cock pressing against your slick entrance. He understood your unspoken question and gave a quick, eager nod. His gaze was immediately drawn back to his dick disappearing inside of you as your walls enveloped him completely.
“F–Fuck,” Heeseung breathed, his voice trembling, almost strained, his abs flexing as he instinctively thrusted slightly forward before collapsing back onto the bed.
The sensation of your wet heat gripping him tightly was overwhelming. He rolled his eyes back and let his head fall against the pillow, biting his lip to keep from moaning too loudly.
“I’m not gonna last long–” he muttered through heavy breaths, his strong hands gripping your hips, holding on like you were the only thing keeping him grounded, forgetting that, in fact, you were the one leading his lustful ruin.
“Oh, you will,” you murmured, rolling your hips back and forth in a painful slow pace while you adjusted. “You’re not that pathetic, are you?” You teased, voice thick with challenge. 
However, to your surprise and delight, Heeseung’s response was unexpectedly better than your imagination.
“I am–” He interrupted himself with a deep moan as you purposefully clenched around his dick. “I am that pathetic,” he whispered, hands tightening on your hips. “I am pathetic for you, for you only.”
You instinctively reacted to his vulnerable, desperate words. You could feel the raw intensity behind it, his complete surrender to you, and it fueled your own desire. 
“Yeah?” You cocked your head to the side with a smug smile, supporting yourself with your palms planted on his chest as he started to thrust up into you, seeking for more of your addicting squeeze around his dick. “Show me, then.”
Heeseung’s entire body shuddered beneath you while he forced your hips down to meet his own buckling up; you, yourself barely helping, letting him do all the work just for a little teasing.
However, Heeseung hit a certain spot in you that had your dominant facade faltering, a choking moan slipping from your throat while you frowned with pure pleasure as your arms wavered briefly to hold you still.
“You feel that?” His voice cracked, eyes fluttering open to catch a glimpse of your lascivious expression. “I’m yours–”
You bit your lip, a rush of adrenaline waving through your body, tingling at his words, your mind spinning with the intoxicating pleasure of having Heeseung so completely at your mercy.
You leaned forward, your mouth grazing his ear as you whispered, “Such a good boy...”
The simple praise sent a visible shiver through his spine, his grip on you faltering momentarily as a desperate groan escaped his lips, eyes rolling as he threw his head back, letting his perfect neck in all display for you.
It became clear – he was close, teetering right on the edge, just waiting for your command, nonetheless you weren't quite ready to let him have it, especially because the knot in your stomach just started to tighten. 
"Not yet," you said breathlessly against his jawline, a wicked grin spreading across your face as you lightly bit and kissed the area. "You'll have to wait just a little longer, Heeseung."
You could feel his cock twitching inside you, his body trembling with the effort of holding back. 
In no universe could Heesung have imagined that this would be how his day ended, with you dominating him so effortlessly, and most importantly, him letting it happen and savoring every single delightful second.
“P–Please…” Heeseung whimpered, his voice cracking into a soft cry, his fingers trembling against your skin, kneading it as a way to regain his control. One of his fingers slipped to your clit, rubbing it the way he could due to the position.
You kept on riding Heeseung with all you had, your thighs burning in the process but you couldn’t care less. The way he was whining in your ear, panting and pleading, together with his touch on your sensitive spot and his fingers doing circles on your clit brought you close to the edge as well. With each clench around his dick, you could feel his restrain slipping away.
“I’m– Please–” 
“Let go, Hee. Cum for me, yeah?” You purred against his lips, sloppily kissing it as you drank his guttural moan, feeling the condom filling up inside you. 
Your core bubbled and the knot tightened, and you coated the condom with your juices while a whimper came out from your lips. Heeseung’s grip tightened as you rode you both through your highs.
Your mouths slowly found a comfortable pace as you also fully decreased your movements, savoring the aftershocks of your release and feeling Heeseung’s beneath you.  
Heeseung’s breaths came in heavy pants as you parted the kiss by sucking his lower lip. You lifted yourself enough to search for his eyes, filled with happiness and satisfaction. 
“Did that feel good?” you asked softly, brushing a stray hair from his sweaty forehead, your fingers lingering on his warm skin.
“More than I could ever imagine,” he admitted, a shy smile breaking through his panting breaths. “You’re incredible.”
“So are you,” you whispered, kissing him again.
This time, deliberate and loaded with emotion. All the feelings that once carried an air of doubt while hovering in your mind now felt certain, and the warmth in your heart only confirmed that as your body relaxed and you emerged from the lustful bliss, leaving you and Heeseung in a sweet, loving bubble. 
Heeseung helped clean you and himself, even taking a shower since you offered some of your brother’s never used clothes, you caught yourself mingling on his warm embrace, now resting your cheek on his bare chest that rose and fell softly.
“I really like you, Y/N,” Heeseung's voice was dripping in honey, kind and sweet as his fingers trailed a gentle path on your arm. “Like, really like you.”
“I know,” you whispered with a smile, struggling to contain the sting in your heart. “But you’re not the only one, right?” You asked and lifted your head just enough to capture his tender eyes focusing on you.
He shook his head, biting his lips nervously.
“No,” he finally confessed with a sigh, holding you closer as if you would slip away from his grip at any moment, without a warning. “I’m not.”
You both shared a silence filled with unspokenly delicate words. 
“Give Jake a chance as well.” 
Heeseung’s phrase lingered on your brain for longer than you expected, filled with sincerity. He was willing to offer you the option, the possibility to choose between him and Jake. And somehow that made the scenario even easier.
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“Got your message. You called me in?”
You were slightly startled by Jake’s sudden entrance into your office, even though you had already allowed it through text. You took a moment to admire him – he seemed a bit out of breath, his disheveled hair and wide, puppy eyes making his adorable charm stand out even more.
“Close the door,” you said firmly. “And lock it.” Jake's trembling hands did as you instructed.
“What’s going on?” he asked, wincing under your intense gaze.
You had clenched your jaw, your fingers fidgeting casually as you leaned your hips against your desk, exuding an air of something he read as severity.
Despite the tension palpable in the air, he couldn’t help but take notice of how stunning you looked, with your clothing choice for the day accentuating your curves and your hair in a high ponytail. He shamelessly checked you out, mesmerized with your figure and oblivious of the fact you were playing with him with all bossy that posture. 
The topic was sensitive, but nothing stopped you from playing a little.
“Did Heeseung tell you he visited me yesterday?” You broke the silence
Jake blinked, gaze flickering immediately from your thighs to your eyes, completely thrown off by your words, confusion clear on his face.
“W–what?”
“Yeah.” You smirked, placing your palms against the desk behind you and leaning back, relaxed. “Did he?” You blinked innocently, as though you genuinely cared about his answer. “Because if he didn’t, he’s playing a much dirtier game than I expected,” you feigned disappointment, clicking your tongue and pouting after.
“What are you talking about, Y/N?”
For a brief moment, you hesitated. Jake seemed genuinely clueless, but you knew better. You had all the evidence – the little game between them, the silent competition that had gone unspoken for too long.
Heeseung had told you his side of the story and indirectly a quarter of Jake’s.
Even though Heeseung and Jake had grown closer and eased some of the tension between them, there was an underlying feeling that occasionally surfaced, standing out from the rest: beneath it all, there was the undeniable desire to have you. Despite the mutual understanding of the connection they both shared, the notion of a single winner still lingered in the background, subtly driving their everyday actions.
“You know exactly what I'm talking about,” you answered, voice still steady, but now with a layer of seduction laced in between your words. Your eyes never left Jake’s face, even when he drifted them away due to his shyness before you. “You are falling behind, Jakey.”
Jake stood there with a small frown, processing your words; he would be lying if he didn’t think at some point that, behind all his friendship with Heeseung, there was you, occupying almost every corner of his head with your beautiful smile and charming personality. 
You were his main objective, his goal, after all.
“Come on, Jake,” you pressed, your tone dripping with challenge. “Are you really just going to sit back and let Heeseung win this?”
Internally you prayed for any green light from Jake. Otherwise, your decision and respective demeanor could ruin everything – your job, your friendship. It was unethical, unprofessional, against every guideline you fought to uphold at the company.
But watching Jake with his jaw tightening, fist clenched and eyes widening in confusion and anger, was far too tempting to stop.
Your words sparked something deep inside Jake, awakening his competitive side that had been lying dormant despite the constant swirl of emotions in his mind. The need to win, to prove himself, came back to life. More than anything, he wanted to be the best, especially for you.
So a war happened inside him: on one side, the resentful acceptance that if he lost to Heeseung, at least you would be with someone who would treat you right; but on the other, a fierce, burning desire.
Jake couldn’t shake the intoxicating rush that came from your approval, the way your praise felt after his every effort, after every achievement; your cute smile and shining eyes showed him a galaxy of happiness. 
And now, the thought of losing that, of watching someone else receive what he craved from you, wasn’t something he could tolerate. He wanted to be the one to make you proud, to make you feel the way you made him feel – and that competitive fire was about to consume him entirely.
Since apparently Heeseung had his chance to prove his side, now it was his time.
The room was thick with anticipation as he slowly stepped closer, the space between you shrinking, the office boundaries blurring.
“Come closer…” you purred, eyes gleaming with amusement as you watched him move towards you, desire growing clear in his eyes.
The second he was in front of you, his hands traveled instantly to your waist, the heated touch making you nearly gasp. His fingers pressed into the soft fabric of your clothing, pulling you closer as his breathing grew heavier. 
For a brief moment, you felt drunk in Jake’s scent and firm grip, his eyes behind the glasses lingering longer on your lips before he bit his own, as if he was restraining himself. However, he easily lost his own battle, leaning in intending to kiss you, but you gently pushed against his chest, smirking.
“No, mm-mm,” you tutted, shaking your head as he hesitated, your teasing smile driving him mad; the proximity, the chances, everything taunting his desire to give up on his principles and pleasure you. “We cannot do anything while working, Jake. You know that.” You playfully reminded him, nodding along like it was an innocent rule, all while your eyes glinted with mischief. “I’m your manager.” 
Jake groaned softly, clearly torn between desire and duty, but then you leaned in closer, your voice dropping into a soft whisper. “However…” You cupped his jaw, thumb grazing his lip with agonizing slowness, and you could feel him melt under your touch.
His lips parted slightly, his warm tongue just brushing your thumb, causing a wave of arousal to surge through your body. You swallowed hard, suppressing a moan.
You continued, your voice barely audible but dripping with sensuality, being the only one filling the room as Jake just stood there, in need of you, “We can’t just ignore that Heeseung made his move, can we? Supposedly, you're next, right?” Your eyes sparkled as you cocked your head, taking in Jake’s hooded, desperate gaze. You licked your lips and grabbed his tie, pulling him even closer, lips now brushing against each other while you savored the delicious tension.
“So… what’s it gonna be?” you whispered the words, your breath mingling with him as you pulled even closer by his tie. “Hm?”
His eyes darkened before fluttering shut, and you knew he was near to the edge of letting go from whatever internal struggle holding him back. Yet, you didn't expect Jake to eagerly kiss you, throwing aside any thoughts about being at work.
It would be a euphemism to say you weren’t as desperate as he was, your arousal guiding your decisions the moment that attractive man showed up in your office with his usual clumsy state, all messy and unnecessarily hot as he demonstrated confusion from your sudden call. 
Jake’s taste melting on your tongue made the task of remembering your responsibilities harder, and you pathetically tossed your ethics aside as you devoured Jake’s plush, soft lips.
Fingers threading through his silky hair, you pulled him closer, as if the mere contact of your mouths and the warmth of his body pressing against yours wasn't enough. A fire ignited within you, threatening to consume you both, fueled by the ragged breaths escaping his lips mingled with groans of delight.
Jake felt like dying, and he was loving every second. 
There was an annoying itch at the back of his mind, reminding him that you were both in a workplace and that the risk of being caught was large. But instead of pushing him away, it drew him even closer.
In no universe he would let the opportunity of his life slip away easily like that.
Suddenly, your phone buzzed behind you, breaking the intoxicating moment for some seconds. Jake’s lips trailed down to your neck to give you the chance to reach for it. Your breath was heavy as you read the notification: meeting in an hour.
You quickly typed a message to Heeseung, asking him to come up with an excuse for anyone who might approach your door. You kept it vague, knowing he would totally understand the situation, especially since he had seen Jake enter your office.
With your heart racing you threw your phone at some random place before turning your attention to Jake, to dive back into the moment before the outside world interrupted your brand new little secret.
Jake gave you no chance to react when he suddenly lifted your hips and sat you on the wooden surface of your desk, forcing your legs open so he could place himself between them. His sneaky fingers found the hem of your shirt, invading the area shamelessly, the warm touch together with his lips sucking the flesh of your neck made you shiver, the bubbling desire in your core intensifying each painful second.
“D–Don’t leave any marks,” you warned breathlessly, loving how fast Jake found your sensitive spot and started to give it some proper attention, but afraid of being too obvious with the after. 
You could feel his hardness brushing against your legs from time to time, and you noticed at some point he began to slightly thrust forward, seeking for friction. You weren’t much different, though – your hands tugged his hair gently to give you some support as you waved your hips towards Jake, searching for a similar relief, moaning softly.
Impatience was growing as much as your desire, so you clumsily slipped down from your desk and pushed Jake’s torso back without saying a word. His instant reaction was to retract himself in a confused state, hands faltering on keeping squeezing you; his glasses were uneven as ever and a bit foggy, hair was sticking up all over and chest visibly raising and falling with each deep breath. 
“We don’t have much time,” you purred, your voice dripping with sultry seduction as your eyes roamed over Jake’s disheveled state. “And I’m pretty sure a dedicated employee like you doesn’t want to get caught, right?”
A playful smirk tugged at your lips as you began to unbutton your pants in a slow, deliberate, teasing show. Jake’s breath hitched with the view and your words, the aching reminder he unfortunately couldn’t do everything he dreamed of with you. 
His gaze fixated on every inch of your skin, shamelessly moaning when you lowered your pants just enough to reveal your white panties, completely soaked with arousal. You toyed with the waistband, your smile widening as he dropped to his knees before you, desperation written all over his face.
“Let me eat you out. We don’t need to do anything more. Just let me taste you,” Jake pleaded, his eyes filled with longing and urgency, his composure long gone completely out of reach.
Goosebumps sprawled over your skin before you commanded, “Eat me out, and then fuck me, Jake.”
Your tone was thick with confidence and lust as you turned on your back, bending over the polished wooden surface in a way of presenting yourself to him.
Jake groaned as he carefully removed your panties, revealing your ass and your cunt to him; Jake groaned, barely able to contain himself as he slid your panties down, exposing your ass and glistening cunt. His mouth watered instinctively as he leaned forward, positioning himself to take a long, delicious lick of your wet folds. His plump lips enveloped you, sucking gently as though he were savoring a delicate dessert, each flick of his tongue igniting a fire deep within you.
Jake envisioned purpose as being to please you, in every possible way. He would come up with alternative solutions to your problems, make you proud by delivering incredible results at work, and relieve the pressure and burden of your job by dealing with the part he could. 
But what he craved the most was to explore the depths of your satisfaction, discover and learn every inch of you that sparkled your thrilling emotions and give you what you deserved.
Jake was devoted to you, sweet as honey and affectionate as a teddy bear in an agonizingly delightful way. Because in the end, you would always praise him, leaving him flustered as you highlighted his positive attributes and unmatched skills.
He pleasured you for his own pleasure. 
And he knew that he might not be the only one in your life now, but nothing would stop him from trying to be the best.
As Jake’s tongue danced across your folds, each flicker ignited a wave of ecstasy that coursed through you, your body trembling as you struggled to keep it as quiet as possible, your knuckles turning white as you held on tight on the desk’s edge.
You could feel the heat radiating off him, littening you up with raw desire as you lost your ability to think straight. You found yourself surrendering completely to the bliss Jake offered, unable to control your sounds, let alone your own body from seeking for more as you pushed your hips back.
“God, Jake…” you gasped, your breath hitching as he licked and sucked with a fervor that made your knees weak. “Just like that. Don’t stop. You’re so fucking good–”
Encouraged by your moans and your praise, Jake increased the pressure of his mouth, groaning against your cunt as his hands gripped your hips to hold you steady, letting himself get lost in the taste of you.
The voice inside his read evoked the thought you weren’t fully his yet, so with every flick of his tongue Jake memorized your responses and reactions, the little sounds that escaped your lips and your skin prickled under his precise touch fueling his desire to give you more and more.
He wished for your taste to linger longer on his tongue, keeping vivid the feeling of having you in such intimacy, but it was undeniable that reality would eventually knock.
On the other hand, your mind was blank and could feel the tension building within you, your core tightening as you realized you were teetering near to the edge already. It was a delicious struggle between desire and restraint, your body begging for release, but your mind reminding you Jake was right behind you, probably eager for his own climax as well.
“Jake,” you breathed, your voice a mix of desperation and longing. For seconds you wondered where the innocent, clumsy and nerd-look-alike Jake you knew was at that moment, as the lewd slurping sounds filled your ears. “I need you. Now.”
Jake didn’t stop, though, diving deeper, keeping on forcing you to step near the verge of your climax. He wanted you to cum all over his mouth. He needed to taste you.
“Jake,” you called again within a loud moan that got you covering your lips right away. “Please–” You pleaded, rolling your eyes, finding it difficult to keep steady, your knees faltering, your pussy clenching around his tongue.
Your hands made a mess with the papers sprawled on your desk, knocking down some random things in the process.
“I want your dick, Jake,” you whimpered, trying to sound as firm as you could, “I wanna you to fuck me, please–” You whispered, almost sounding like a whine and a cry.
Just then Jake finally snapped out of his bliss and gave a last kiss on your glistening cunt before standing up. He paused for a brief moment, eyes dark with lust as he pulled back slightly to take in the sight of you; your body trembling from his efforts, part of your juices dripping on your exposed legs, your whole back in full display for him.
“You’re so beautiful like this,” Jake murmured, his voice husky and thick with desire. “I want to make you feel this good, all the time,” he said, determination and passion blended perfectly together as his hands caressed your sides with a softness that contradicted the abuse he was doing on your pussy.
“Make me feel better now, Jake,” you waved your hips a little, provoking. “Just fuck me, yeah?” 
During agonizing seconds, all you heard was the noises of Jake unbuckling his belt and his zipper going down, mingled with the sound of his ragged breath. You controlled the urge of looking back, too weak to do anything other than support yourself on the table and wait.
“Can I?” He asked softly, pulling you by the waist with one hand while the other held his own dick, until it pressed against your wet entrance.
“No need to ask,” you answered, mirroring his tone, although the anticipation grew within your chest.
Jake’s hand grabbed your hip to maintain your steadiness as he forced himself inside, your head dropped forward and your mouth fell open with the raw feeling of Jake entering you. 
“Damn, you feel incredible,” he whispered in amusement. It felt way better than any dream he ever had. 
With your warm walls tightened around him, Jake’s composure slipped away and he began to move, each thrust deliberate and deep, designed to send you into a haze of ecstasy. He had one palm still holding you in order to pull you by the waist while pushing deep, and the other slightly pressed on your back, either to support himself and also to keep you in position.
You rolled your eyes, your hands crumpling the papers on your desk trying to ground yourself, giving no care about its importance.
The world outside faded away, you nearly forgot you were fucking during working time and, mainly, under the company’s rules and ceiling as Jake’s thrusts grew faster, more frantic; he chased his own pleasure while desperately trying to push you over the edge, the slap noises filled the room together with your heavy breaths and moans.
“F–fuck– You’re hitting– deep– So deep–” Your voice was being cut by each hard slam of Jake’s hip against yours. “So fucking good,” you whimpered and arched your back when he hit your spot straight.
“You like that?” Jake asked, proud of being the one who received such praises from you. “Please, tell me you want me,” he pleaded, feeling his abdomen flexing with his orgasm getting near.
“I want you–” You urged to say, your climax building up on your core and your pussy clenching involuntary. Jake groaned. “I want you, Jake, please–” 
Jake kept on hitting you with a constancy that felt unbearably good. In that moment, everything else fell away – the meetings, the deadlines, the moral dilemmas. All you felt was the strong wave of pleasure rushing over every inch of your body, as you trembled and nearly cried in a last moan, coming all over Jake’s length.
“Fuck–” You hissed when Jake kept on going, driving your through your high before pulling out and jerking himself off. You were panting when you turned to shameless watch his hand speeding on his dick covered with your cum, the lascivious, wet sounds making you quiver, his arm’s popped veins making the view way too devilish. 
You bit your lip, knees failing to keep you correctly straightened up but you sustained yourself in the desk behind you.
“You’re so good, Jake. Always so good, always making me proud,” you said between heavy breaths, eliciting a guttural groan from Jake that you feared someone heard, his head throwing back, exposing his perfect neck to you.
Jake was unable to describe properly the jolt of electricity that ran through his body after hearing your words, spilling his cum forward, hitting your arm and part of your table. 
“Shit…” He whispered, eyes fluttering open while he struggled to breath. His gaze drifted to your desk. “I’m sorry,” he murmured as he got closer, using his clean hand to hold your waist as he placed a soft kiss on your mouth.
You didn’t understand at first what he meant, too lost in your bliss, but after you both cleaned up, you realized how messy in many, too many nuances – your desk was and understood why Jake was sorry for.
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You had made your decision even before your night with Heeseung and your wild time with Jake. 
With Heeseung, it felt like it just naturally happened – and you didn’t regret any second. For Jake, it was something similar to an equality, giving them both the same treatment and chance. And again, you didn’t regret it. 
Your feelings for them were as clear as crystal water, each reflecting a different and unique facet of your heart. Each moment you shared together was filled with affection, desire, passion, and it drew you stronger into connecting yourself with Heeseung and Jake.
You spent days in deep contemplation, analyzing how your body reacted during every interaction – the way your pulse quickened with each lingering glance, how your cheeks warmed from the softest, lightest brush of hands, and how your inner core felt electrified after every encounter.
You tried to measure, but it was so obvious – and at no moment you tried to fight against it.
Consequently, it was relatively easy to invite them into your office for a personal conversation, where you felt no fear regarding your feelings, but were uncertain about how Jake and Heeseung would react to your decision.
“This is not the appropriate setting, but I feel like it’s our setting,” you began, your voice steady to express your certainty. This time, you held a sweet, softened gaze that darted between Heeseung and Jake, lingering not long enough in each of their tensed faces.
They were completely aware about the reason behind your gathering, their breaths coming heavy, throat dry, fingers fidgeting… You noticed each anxious demeanor. Your heart tightened, because you would never intend to make them feel bad. 
“I called you both here because…” 
You took a moment to find the right words, the same you sculpted during days in the back of your mind, now running away from your mouth.
But there was no doubt, because at some point, you questioned yourself.
If love was a battlefield…
“I’m not choosing.”
Could there be more than one winner? 
“Not between you two.”
[BONUS SCENE]
“Heeseung, please, stop chasing after Layla,” Jake rolled his eyes, a hint of exasperation in his voice while you chuckled, taking a bite of your ice cream. “You’re scaring her.”
It was a sunny Sunday afternoon and you had decided to take a peaceful walk with your, now, two boyfriends and Layla, Jake’s adorable dog. At some point you started to feel a bit tired, and opted to sit down on a bench with Jake while Heeseung continued to expend Layla’s energy, playing with her nearby.
“She’s literally smiling, Jake,” Heeseung shot back with a glance, though his smile betrayed his faux annoyed facade. He knelt next to Layla, gently stroking her fluffy fur and murmuring sweet nothings with a baby voice while nodding. “Isn’t that right, girl?”
“You’re just jealous because she likes Heeseung more than she likes you,” you teased Jake, trying to contain your laughter at his instant reaction. Jake blinked flabbergasted at your words before he pouted.
“Don’t ever say that again,” he muttered in a whine, feigning an anger that never really matched his energy. His facade quickly fell as he pulled you closer to kiss your cheek.
You giggled, melting into a shy mess when Jake began planting kisses along your neck too, the sound drawing Heeseung’s attention.
He stood up, holding Layla’s leash with a playful tilt of his head. The ghost of a smile lingered on his lips before he pouted dramatically. “I can’t believe I’m witnessing my girlfriend and my friend enjoying themselves without considering my presence,” Heeseung said as he slid into the empty seat on your left, planting a sweet kiss on your other cheek.
Just like that, it started a playful competition between the two of them, each trying to elicit a laugh or a shout of “stop” from you first. All you could do was giggle and squirm, drowning in the warm sensation blooming in your chest and the delightful tingling on each side of your neck as Heeseung and Jake silently agreed to tease you mercilessly.
You couldn’t help but be amused at how effortlessly Heeseung and Jake had adapted to this unconventional relationship. Everything had fallen into place, and you finally had an answer to the question that had lingered in your mind when you decided to take a step further.
Yes, two people can definitely win a love battle.
542 notes · View notes
dolcettamagica · 9 months ago
Text
𐙚˙⋆.˚ 𝐈'𝐦 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬, 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞
virgin!sukuna x virgin!reader, modern delinquent au
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request: can you write modern au!sukuna and fem reader taking each others virginity with a established relationship tags: fluff, fingering, penetration, petnames (princess, baby, babygirl), sukuna is a delinquent; @mangiswig notes: minors dni, sukuna is lowkey ooc wc: 2.0k
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Despite spending a significant portion of his formative years behind bars, the weight of consequence failed to curb the rebellious spirit of Sukuna. Emerging from the confines of incarceration with a hardened demeanor and a penchant for defiance, he returned to the streets that had once ensnared him with a renewed sense of determination. To Sukuna, the rules of society were nothing more than shackles, constraining him from the freedom he craved and the life he believed he deserved.
Fuelled by a potent cocktail of resentment and bravado, Sukuna navigated the urban landscape with the swagger of someone who had stared into the abyss and refused to blink. From petty theft to brazen acts of vandalism, he left a trail of chaos in his wake, a testament to the indelible mark of his troubled past. For Sukuna, the cycle of delinquency was a familiar refrain, a symphony of defiance that echoed through the corridors of his consciousness, a reminder of the streets that had shaped him and the choices that had defined him.
Yet Sukuna found an unexpected beacon of light in the form of you, a college student whose innocence and sweetness stood in stark contrast to his own turbulent world. Your love was a fragile bloom in the midst of concrete, delicate yet resilient, defying the odds with each passing day. Drawn to your gentle spirit and unwavering kindness,Sukuna found himself navigating unfamiliar territory, his rough edges softened by the warmth of your affection.
For almost a year now, you have been the anchor in Sukuna's stormy sea, a steady presence amidst the chaos of his life. With your unwavering belief in his capacity for change and your steadfast support, you became his guiding star, illuminating the darkest corners of his soul with the light of your love. Despite the whispers of doubt that lingered in the recesses of his mind, Sukuna couldn't deny the profound impact you had on his life, your presence a balm to his weary heart.
Your love for Sukuna knew no bounds, transcending the boundaries of societal norms and expectations. Despite the whispers of caution that echoed through the halls of your mind, you refused to turn away from the tumultuous storm that raged within him. To you, Sukuna was more than just the sum of his mistakes; he was a complex tapestry of darkness and light, a flawed masterpiece in need of redemption.
While others cowered in fear at the mere mention of his name, you stood unwavering by his side, your love a shield against the slings and arrows of judgment. You understood the depths of his anger, the ferocity of his defiance, yet you chose to love him all the same. For you, love was not about changing someone into who they should be, but rather embracing them for who they were, scars and all.
The decision weighed heavily on your heart, a tender offering you longed to bestow upon Sukuna, a symbol of your unwavering commitment to your love. With trembling hands and a courage born of devotion, you found yourself standing before him, your heart laid bare in the flickering light of your shared intimacy. “I want you to take my virginity tonight, Sukuna. I’m yours, fully.”
As your words pierced the air, a surge of conflicting emotions washed over Sukuna. His heart quickened with excitement, the prospect of possessing you in such an intimate way igniting a primal fire within him. Yet, beneath the surface, a flicker of nervousness danced in the depths of his eyes, betraying the weight of responsibility he felt in this moment. There was something he never told you. Sukuna, the known and feared criminal, was a virgin himself. He didn’t have the chance to lose it since most of his teen years were spent in jail and he met you shortly after his release. Yet, Sukuna was sure that he would manage to not have to confess to his virginity. 
Yet his dominant nature surged forth, a primal instinct asserting its dominance over his senses. With a predatory gleam in his eyes, Sukunas demeanor shifted, his posture becoming more assertive, more commanding. He saw this as an opportunity to claim you, to mark you as his own in the most intimate way possible. “Get on the bed, baby”, and you followed his command.
With a magnetic pull, Sukuna led you to his bed, your eyes locked in a heated exchange of desire and anticipation. The air was charged with electricity, every touch igniting a wildfire of longing between you. As you sank into the soft embrace of the mattress, a primal hunger consumed you, driving you to explore each other with an urgency born of passion.
With a possessive grip, Sukuna claimed your lips in a searing kiss, his dominance asserting itself with every fervent movement. His hands traced the curves of your body with a possessive intensity, his touch igniting a feverish need within you. You yielded to him willingly, your own desire mingling with his in a potent cocktail of longing and surrender.
“You’re so pretty, baby. I love you so much.”
Your clothes became mere obstacles, discarded in a frenzy of desire as you bared yourselves to each other without reservation. With each caress, each whispered promise, you delved deeper into the depths of your desire, your bodies becoming one in a dance of carnal pleasure and primal need.
“You belong to me, baby. All of you. Only to me. I’ll be your first and your last.”
As your passion reached its zenith, you lost yourselves in each other, your moans of ecstasy filling the air as you surrendered to the intoxicating rhythm of your desire. In that moment, on Sukuna's bed, you were consumed by the flames of your passion, your love, a blazing inferno that burned brighter with every touch, every kiss, every whispered promise of forever.
With a possessive hunger burning in his eyes, Sukuna trailed his fingers along your trembling form, tracing the contours of your body with a reverence that bordered on worship. As he settled between your parted thighs, he felt your pulse quicken beneath his touch, your breath hitching in anticipation of the ecstasy to come.
“You’re already soaked, princess. Been waiting for this, huh?”
With a predatory grace, he teased you with feather-light caresses, his fingers dancing over your skin in a tantalizing rhythm. Your soft gasps filled the room as he explored your most intimate depths, his touch sending shivers of pleasure cascading through your body.
With each stroke, he felt you surrendering to him, your barriers crumbling in the face of his relentless desire. He relished in the power he held over you, reveling in the way you arched into his touch, your cries of pleasure music to his ears, the way your wet pussy clenched and pulsated around his slender fingers. With a primal hunger driving him forward, Sukuna delved deeper into you, his fingers becoming an extension of his own desire as he brought you to the brink of ecstasy again and again.
“Don’t cum yet, babygirl. You wanted something else inside you, remember? Do you still want it?”
“Y–yes…ahh…f–fuck, yes, please, Sukuna.”
As Sukuna's touch grew bolder, you surrendered completely to the sensations coursing through your body. With each deliberate stroke of his fingers, you melted further into submission, your moans filling the air as you abandoned yourself to the overwhelming pleasure he bestowed upon you.
Your body quivered with every skilled movement, each sensation amplified by the electric tension that crackled between you. Your  breath hitched with every caress, your heart racing as you surrendered to the blissful torment of his dominance.
With a possessive hunger burning in his eyes, Sukuna reveled in the sight of you laid bare before him, your submissive surrender stoking the flames of his desire to new heights. Your moans of pure lust were like a siren's song, drawing him deeper into the abyss of his own primal urges.
Driven by an insatiable hunger, Sukuna's touch grew more demanding, more possessive, his own arousal building with each intoxicating sound that escaped your lips. With each whimper of pleasure, he felt the intoxicating rush of power surging through his veins, his dominance asserting itself with an almost feral intensity.
“I think you’re ready, baby.”
Sukuna positioned himself above you, your submissive form trembling with anticipation beneath him. With a possessive grip, he guided himself to your entrance, the throbbing heat of his arousal pressing against your quivering flesh. As he poised himself at the threshold of your innocence, a fierce determination coursed through him, driving him forward with an urgency born of primal desire. With a forceful thrust, he pushed himself inside your pussy, the sensation of your tight warmth enveloping him like a velvet vice.
“Oh– Fuck…fuck, it’s tight. You feel so fucking good, baby.”
You gasped at the intrusion, your body tensing with a mixture of pleasure and pain. With each powerful thrust, Sukuna claimed you as his own, his dominant nature asserting itself with every primal movement. As you moved together in a primal dance of passion and possession, Sukuna felt a surge of ecstasy and lust coursing through him. You felt so good stretching around him, he could feel your heartbeat through your wet, tight cunt.
As your bodies intertwined in the fervor of your passion, Sukuna's arousal reached a crescendo, the intensity of the moment threatening to overwhelm him entirely. With each hard, deep thrust, he felt himself teetering on the edge of ecstasy, his primal instincts driving him ever closer to the brink. He pounded into you like a wild animal, feeling the undying urge to not only claim your soul as his but also your body.
“Oh fuck…oh fuck no.”
But then, in a sudden and unexpected rush, Sukuna's control slipped away, his body betraying him in the most primal of ways. With a gasp of disbelief, he felt his release wash over him, his climax crashing over him with a force that left him trembling in its wake.
For a moment, time seemed to stand still as Sukuna grappled with the intensity of his own pleasure, his body pulsing with the aftershocks of his release. And as he collapsed against you, his breath coming in ragged gasps, he realized with a sinking feeling that he had cum far sooner than he had anticipated.
“…’kuna?”, your eyes shot wide, feeling him release his hot cum inside you. Usually it takes you far longer to get him to finish with your mouth. 
In the hazy aftermath of their passion, Sukuna's heart raced with a mixture of embarrassment and shame, his mind reeling with the realization that he had revealed his virginity in the most humiliating of ways. And as he looked into your eyes, he saw the confusion and concern reflected in your gaze, knowing that he would have to find a way to explain himself, even as his own insecurities threatened to consume him. Slowly he pulled out and grabbed the box of tissues next to his bed to clean you up.
With a heavy heart, he knew that he couldn't keep his secret any longer, not from you, not from the woman he loved more than life itself.
Summoning every ounce of courage he possessed, Sukuna steeled himself for the confession that weighed heavily upon his soul. With slightly trembling hands and a voice thick with emotion, he reached out to you, his eyes searching yours for understanding and acceptance.
"Baby," he began, his words coming out in a rush as he struggled to find the right ones. "I need to tell you something...something I should have told you before."
As he spoke, Sukuna felt the weight of his secret lifting from his shoulders, replaced by a sense of vulnerability unlike anything he had ever known. With each word, he bared his soul to you, revealing the truth of his inexperience, his virginity laid bare for you to see.
To his surprise, your reaction was not one of judgment or scorn, but of compassion and understanding. With a gentle touch, you reached out to him, your eyes filled with love and acceptance.
"Sukuna," you whispered, your voice barely above a whisper. "It doesn't matter to me. What matters is us, and the love we share. I’m yours and you’re mine."
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guiltyc0nscience · 3 months ago
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⋆˙⟡ where do broken hearts go?, matt sturniolo
matt sturniolo x fem!reader
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synopsis. in which matt feels like you aren’t considering his feelings and not putting as much effort into your relationship as he is, so he brings it up to you which results in conflict but was quick to be resolved.
warnings. angst. crying, resolved angst, arguing, matt’s lowkey mean in this.
word count.
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you and matt had never had an argument as big as this. yous had had small disagreements and quarrels, which were solved in minutes. never huge fights. never the way it is going on right now.
you both had been trying to juggle your lives also while trying to maintain a happy, healthy relationship. which isn’t easy. with that, you were both on the brink of breaking down any moment now. but instead of that, your emotions turned into a big fight. not a good one.
today, you weren’t working in the office and matt wasnt out filming with his brothers. he wasn’t in the best of moods right now, you were too in your head. the perfect cause of a disaster. throughout the whole day, small things kept on building and building until everything went down hill after dinner.
you had been washing you and matt’s dishes, he cleaning up all the other little things. when he had made a snarky comment about how good of a sight it was seeing you finally cleaning up, had made you snap.
you had been moaning about it for a good hour, screaming at one another in the kitchen attempting to get your feelings out some sort of way.
“i just don’t fucking get it sometimes,” matt spat at you, “it’s like all you care and think about is yourself.”
“what?! what the fuck are you even saying?!” you yelled, the anger that had slightly died down was rising straight back up.
“you are the most narcissistic, self-centred, most selfish person i have ever met,” matt said through gritted teeth, “you never think about me. you don’t care about anyone but yourself.”
he took a step closer to you as you slammed the dish you were cleaning down, “you’re the one that’s inconsiderate, not me” he says.
“are you fucking kidding me? don’t talk to me like that ever again, asshole!” you said squinting your eyes at him.
a bitter laugh left matt’s lips, walking right up to you and looking down at you, “i’ll say whatever i want, sweetheart. because for once i’ve reached a fucking breaking point.”
“leave then. fucking leave then, if this is such a problem!” you yell in his face.
you were telling him to leave but this was his house that he shared with his two brothers. nick and chris.
“this is my fucking house. but i will leave!” matt yelled back, “maybe i will just leave and you can spend the rest of your life being the most inconsiderate, selfish jackass on the planet! maybe ill just go find someone who actually values me!”
“are you kidding me right now? are you implying that you’ve been fucking cheating on me?!” you raise your voice in disbelief.
matt hadn’t cheated on you. you just took his words the wrong way.
“no! it was hypothetical! if you’d let me finish, you’d know that!” matt snapped back, “i wouldn’t cheat on you, i love you!”
you were taken aback by his statement, “well, the things you’re fucking saying to me right now don’t scream ‘i love you’ very much!”
“i do love you!” matt snapped, “but god! why are you so selfish, so egotistical, and so inconsiderate! how many times do i have to say it for it to go through your thick, stubborn skull?!”
you scoff, “i’m egotistical? you’re the one that thinks you’re better than everyone else because you make a bag off making shit youtube videos! you constantly think you’re one better than everyone else, matt!”
“i don’t think im better than everyone else! im proud of my work, what the fuck is wrong with that?! i’m proud that i was able to take my passion and make myself a career out of it! i get to play my favourite games and do what i love for a living and have it supported me all while i provide for you too? how is many of that wrong?!”
you furrow your brows at the last part of his sentence, “you provide for me? i’ve got my own job, that i got by myself! i don’t need your fucking money.”
“you live in my house! i pay the bills. you can’t even provide for yourself when you make chump change in a month!” matt was absolutely fuming at this point, taking another step towards you.
you felt hurt at what he said, but you didn’t let it affect the way you presented yourself, “what?! are you fucking kidding me right now? you’re the biggest shit talker and dick head i’ve ever met!”
“no, the biggest dick head you’ve ever met is you! you, with you’re self-righteous ego and narcissistic thought process! i’ve met so many assholes in my life, but no one has even come close to how much of a jerk you are!” matt spat, “i’ve put so many hours into this relationship. i’ve given you everything just for you to come back and act like i don’t care about you, and call me the dickhead?”
you sigh as you think about how much stuff you have to have done by tomorrow, “matt, i don’t have time for this right now!”
“oh, no! i think we have plenty of time for this!” matt said as he slammed his palms on the counter, “we aren’t leaving this kitchen until you can look at me and tell me you truly love me, and that you’re sorry for all the bullshit you’ve been saying!”
you stared in disbelief at what was coming out of his mouth right now, “bullshit i’ve been saying?! you’ve said so much worse than i have, so if it’s anyone that needs an apology it’s me! but i’m not fucking pathetic enough to beg someone for some half-assed apology!”
“bullshit? i’ve been telling the truth this whole entire time!” matt said, you are selfish, you are inconsiderate, you are narcissistic. everything i’ve said is true! and don’t worry, sweetheart. you wouldn’t have to beg me for an apology from me, i’d refuse to give you one, just as you’ve been doing to me this entire time!”
you felt sick to your stomach from what matt was letting fall off his tongue like venom, “why are you with me then?! and done even say ‘it’s because i love you’ because that’s bullshit, because you don’t. if you did you wouldn’t say this whether it’s true or not!”
“i do love you! i love you so fucking much, you don’t even know!” the anger on matt’s face soon gave way to sadness, “i’m just sick of your disregarding my feelings. i’m sick of you being so careless about how i feel or what i want. i’m sick of feeling like the only one that’s pouring my all into this relationship. i’m just tired… it hurts… it hurts me that you never even give me a second thought, even though i have you on my mind at all times.”
“that’s not true at all matt! i do put my all into this relationship and i will give it my last no matter what. i love you more than i can even describe so don’t even fucking doubt that! and give me two times i disregarded your feelings, because i dont!”
“every time i ask you to make dinner so i can do some planning when i come home from filming, you don’t do it! you just brush me off and say you’re too busy or tired! or what about the times i have to beg you to give me some time alone, that i haven’t gotten any privacy in forever. yet you still barge right in when i shut the door and you just start yapping to me!”
“matt you’re not the only one with problems, you know! and i do make us dinner and when i do barge in there’s always a good reason, so don’t even start that!” you spit.
“yes i know that! and i try to help you with your problems when you talk to me about them! but when i come to you with how i feel, you just say you’re too busy to listen to me and that we’ll talk later. but we never do!” matt speaks.
“because when later comes, i always find out that you’re at parties posting up with a bunch of girls. or you’re sitting in a car with nick and chris!” you let roll off your tongue.
“i’d have time for you if you weren’t such a cold, detached person!” matt fires back, “and i’m not ‘sitting in a car’ with nick and chris! we’re working!”
“don’t you ever just think, oh i’m actually in a really good work position compared to other people. because i don’t know if you’ve realised but you don’t need to deal with people constantly blaming you for everything in work because you’re the youngest and easiest to blame and degrade! that is why im always so busy and tired, im constantly cleaning up the shit that you leaving lying about while also juggling my paperwork that i have to do at home!”
“yeah, well you have no idea what it’s like to be a full-time youtuber!” matt said, “i have to keep my fans happy, make videos, do collabs with other creators, all while having my own life! and whenever i come home after being out all day, what do i come home to every time? you sitting on the sofa, on your phone, and not even thinking about what i might want or need after i’ve been busting my ass all day!”
your jaw drops slightly with a puzzled expression on your face, “are you fucking with me? you’re not a child matt, you can do things on your own. just because i’m home before you sometimes does not mean i will be your slave! and if you do, fucking think again!”
“i don’t want a slave! i want my girlfriend! i want someone who cares about me! i want the one i love to put me before anything else!” matt was getting agitated, his eyes starting to water.
“i do matt! i do put you before everything, i try my hardest! i ruin my own mental health for you!” you say with tears running down your face.
“it doesn’t feel like you do!” matt said, “you’re always so distant! you’re always so cold and you never show me any affection! and i’m not asking for much! a kiss every now and again would be nice! you don’t even say you love me unless i say to first!”
you let out a sad sigh, “what do you mean? i kiss you every day! i say i love you all the fucking time!”
“you never do it first though! i’m the only one that ever initiates anything! im the one that is always showing affection! the other day i just wanted a hug after filming and you gave me a one-armed side-hug!”
you rub your eyes out of exhaustion, “matt, i’m tired!”
“i’m tired too!” matt snapped, his voice getting louder now, “im exhausted! im working my ass off to make us money and to make you happy and i get nothing but complaints and coldness in return!”
you whined before huffing out words, “i’m not complaining, you’re the only one complaining right now!”
“yes because you never listen to me!” matt nearly yelled, “im trying to tell you how i actually feel! im opening up and being completely vulnerable with you, you just shoot down every single thing i say! all i want is for you to care!”
“matt i do! i care so fucking much it hurts. i love you more than anything! i left my life in florida to come and stay with you full-time because i knew you didn’t want a long-distance relationship. so if that’s not me considering your feelings then i don’t know what is!”
“i never asked you to move here.” matt said through clenched teeth, “yes, i asked you to move in for the summer, and i get you had a shitty family, but you never had to transfer your job and move your entire life here! you never had to put yourself in a stressful and expressive situation, you did that yourself!”
“no i didn’t! don’t get me wrong i love being here with you, nick and chris. i fucking love it! but it’s really hard sometimes! and i get you’re going through hard times too with your family being in boston but you have open arms everywhere around LA, i don’t, that’s the difference! that is why im so cold and defensive sometimes! im scared to trust!”
“why can’t you trust me?!” matt yelled, “you’ve lived here for a year now! i’ve given you everything just for you to say that you don’t trust me! after all i’ve done for you, after all i’ve given up to make you happy, i still get this kind of bullshit from you!”
you panicked since matt had took what you said the wrong way, “i didn’t say that, baby! i said it’s hard for me to trust anyone other than you!”
“so what does that mean?” matt asked, “i don’t deserve your trust? you don’t trust me when i tell you i love you?”
“it means that i’m bottling everything up inside of me because i don’t trust anyone else other than you because i don’t want to put the stress onto you! i feel like you don’t understand what im going through, which is totally fine, but you don’t ever keep that in mind! yes, you’re going through a hard time too but i am too and you need to think about that when you say things to me. you’re not the only person fucking struggling!”
“no, i get that!” matt argued back, “we’re both going through stuff, but the difference is i make time for you! i make sure that your needs are still met when i have time! you on the other hand disregard my feelings and my wants! you never even try to understand my side, while im constantly trying to get you to understand! and now that i’ve finally gotten you to listen, you’re still saying im wrong!”
“i’m sorry matt! i don’t know what else you want from me, im falling apart over here!”
“i want you! i just want you to love me the way you say you do!” matt said, “i want you to show me, physically, that you care about me! i want you to show me that im a priority in your life, just like you’re a priority in mine!”
“i do care about you! i just go through rough patches where i don’t realise that im not showing you how much i care and love you!”
“why not tell me when you’re going through rough patches? if you’re struggling, then why don’t you tell me so i can be there for you! i’d never think of you any differently, i’d never think to call you selfish or inconsiderate! all you have to do is let me in!” matt exclaims with frustration.
“and that’s one of the hardest things for me to do! it takes time to let people in when you grow up the way i did, when you were constantly told your feelings didn’t matter and if you told people that you were struggling they would think differently of you! and i’m not saying all this for you to feel sorry for me, i’m saying this so you can try and understand it from my perspective.” you explain with tears rolling down your cheeks.
“i do understand! i do understand that you’ve had a hard life and it’s hard to trust and open up, but im not asking you to tell me every single thing that’s ever happened to you and that you’ve ever felt! im asking you to just tell me you miss me, or that you’re upset, or that you’re feeling angry or sad or frustrated! i’m asking you to open up just a little bit so i can do my best and try to show you that i love you!”
you tilt your head back and place your hands over your face before whimpering and tilting your head forward again, “and i’m trying matt!”
“i know you are!” matt said, his voice losing the edge as he looked at your tear stained face with empathy. he took a step closer to you and laid his hands gingerly on your shoulders, “i know you’re trying, i do, and it’s not fair for me to expect you to just completely open up overnight, but you’re tearing me apart too! i’m so worn out and tired from trying to get you to show me that my feelings matter to you!”
you hiccup just before you begin to talk, “i’m really trying to be better matt, i am! and i know what you want from me but it takes time. a lot of time. so please, just give me time and and you’ll get what you want in this relationship. and i’ll give you it whether it wipes me out or not!”
“how much time do i have to give you?” matt sighed, “i’ve given you nearly a year of time. i’ve been trying so hard this entire time to break through whatever wall you have up, and after a year you’re still telling me to wait? i can’t keep waiting forever!”
“i know and it’s not fair on you but it also isn’t fair on me to give you something im not ready for!” you whimper before sighing sadly.
“then what am i supposed to do?” matt exclaimed, stepping backwards and running his fingers through his hair, “if you’re not at a place that you can give me what i need in a relationship, when do you foresee yourself being there? another year? two? never?!”
“i don’t know! that is what i need to figure out and you to trust me on, but it’s hard!” you cry out.
“i’m doing my best to make this easy, but you still keep pushing back when i try to get anything out of you!” matt was frowning frustrated again, taking his hands to his face and massaging his eyes, “im just so tired of trying! i’m at my wits end!”
“matt, im sorry!”
“sorry isn’t good enough anymore!” matt almost shouted, “i don’t want another half-assed apology! that’s all you’ve given me our entire relationship, and it isn’t good enough!”
you internally groan, “matt, it’s not half-assed! i’m being considerate.”
“considerate of who? me? yourself?” matt spat, the anger in his voice returning, “because it seems like you’re trying to avoid having to do any work in our relationship and just want me to accept that you’re not ready!”
“well i don’t know what else you want me to do! because im seriously trying but you’re not giving me the time i need and that just takes us back to square one, baby!” you whine, wiping the tears that is running down your chin.
“but you’re not giving me anything to go off of!” matt’s voice was reaching high octive, the anger and exhaustion on his face evident, “i’ve been trying this entire time and every single time i tell you how i’m feeling you push my away. you ask me to give you time, and what exactly am i supposed to do while i wait other than be miserable?!”
your heart drops, “matt, baby… please. don’t give up on me.” you say your voice and heart breaking all at once.
“i don’t want to give up on you… i don’t!” matt said, the anger leaving his body as he watched your own sadness. he took a step towards you before suddenly wrapping his arms tight around you and pulling you into his chest, “i’m just so tired…” he whispered into your hair.
you sniffle before replying, “me too…”
matt didn’t say anything else, he just held onto you tight and buried his face in your hair. he squeezed you as tight as he closed his eyes and tried to get himself back under control.
there was a long heavy moment of silence that fell over the kitchen before matt finally spoke again, voice low.
“i’m sorry. im sorry im putting so much pressure on you, and you’re not ready. im sorry im losing my patience. i love you so much, but i just want to feel loved too… i want to hear you say it…”
“i love you, so fucking much.” whisper into his chest as you close your eyes, tears spilling out.
matt squeezed you tighter at your words, one of his hands reaching around to touch the back of your head in a protective hold. he rested his chin on top of your head, burying his face in the top of it as he closed his eyes again and inhaled the familiar scent of your shampoo. you could feel his body relax as you spoke, the tension leaving his tired and wear muscles.
“i love you too… i love you so much, even when you drive me crazy…”
“i’m really sorry for making you feel like this… i don’t mean it. i swear. it’s just… i just fuck up everything i do.”
“shhh…” matt hushed you, his hand massaging the back of your head in a soothing manner, “you don’t have to apologise for how you feel. i’m sorry for getting angry at you, i just want you to love me the same way i love you and i got frustrated and impatient.”
“but i fucked up our relationship…” you insecurely whispered into his chest.
“you may have said or done things that weren’t the best, but you haven’t completely ruined this relationship, sweetheart.” matt said quietly, pulling back now so he can look down at your tear stained face.
one of his hands came up to your cheek, his thumb gently swiping away one of the droplets.
“but i have or else we wouldn’t be having this argument…” you whispered.
“arguments are apart of every relationship, baby. this is natural, especially for us.” matt said, his tone gentle as he spoke, “this doesn’t mean you’ve completely ruined us. i still love you, and im sure you still love me.”
“of course i do, and don’t ever doubt it” you say shaking your head and looking down to the ground in embarrassment and shame that you caused this huge argument.
“hey,” matt spoke quietly as he took one of his fingers and placed it under your chin so he could lift it up, forcing you to look at him, “look at me baby,”
“hm?” you hum as you look up at him with a saddened look on your face.
his expression was so much softer than before, the exhaustion and the anger now replaced with love and concern. matt’s eyes searched your face as he kept his hand under you chin to hold you head up.
“i want you to listen to me and really hear me, okay?” he said in a soft and calm voice.
“okay” you whisper groggily due to the waterworks from before, and licking your dry lips.
“i love you. no matter how many times i get angry, or frustrated, or exhausted, i love you more than you will ever truly know. you haven’t ruined this. i haven’t lost my love or trust for you.” matt began to say, keeping his eyes fixed on yours, “i don’t ever want you to think that i don’t love you because i do. all i want is for you to try and meet me where i am, okay?”
“i love you. and im sorry for not doing what you expected from me. thank you for giving me a second chance, i don’t deserve you.” you say as another few tears spill out of your eyes.
“i don’t expect you to be perfect, sweetheart. i know you’ve gone through things and that’s what makes you human, but i know you still love me.” he whispered calmly.
matt dropped his hand from your chin to wrap around your waist again, and he gently pulled you forward to press you against his chest once more, his chin resting on top of your head and his arms wrapped around you in a firm hold.
“i love you” you whisper into his chest for the tenth time today, before leaning up and pressing a kiss to his lips, matt returned the kiss with gentle fervour, before burying his head in the crook of your neck and shoulder.
he held you tight, his body relaxing and conforming to your form as he held you close to him, enjoying the feeling of your body against his.
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lowkeyren · 5 months ago
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FOR HIS HEART CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
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in which — dan feng can’t imagine a life without you. so even when death takes your hand, he'll hold on to your other and do anything to get you back in his embrace, no matter the consequences.
pairing — dan f/heng x gn!reader
wc: 2.5k, lovers to enemies, you both are lowkey bad with feelings LOL, i lied when i said there's an alternative ending for hurt/comfort enjoyers, now suffer. (reblogs w comments are appreciated, pls enjoy <3) ps. dividers aren't working cus tumblr is being mean to me so using dashes instead ARRHGHGHG
lying in your shared bed, your breathing grows increasingly shallow, your hands tremble uncontrollably, signaling another episode of your deteriorating condition. the dim, cold room feels oppressive as you catch the distant echoes of the best physicians from all around xianzhou, their hurried steps reverberating against the walls as they hasten to your side.
dan feng tightens his grip on your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, his expression etched with concern. the smell of herbal remedies and the sharp scent of sickness fills the air, mingling with the mustiness of the stone walls; a familiar sense of dread washes over you as you struggle with each breath.
his brows are furrowed, and his lips are pressed into a thin line, his knuckles turning white from the tightness of his grip on your hands. the pressure is so intense that it almost hurts —almost, but not quite enough to cause you (more) pain. he would never hurt you, not even over his own grave.
despite the best efforts of your personal caregivers, the limitations of medical knowledge, and the uncertainty of your treatments are harsh realities you have to face. it fills him with anguish to witness your episodes almost daily —suddenly collapsing in his arms, gasping for breath; moments like these are where he feels like he's standing right beside your deathbed, desperately hoping for signs of improvement each time you open your eyes again. 
it kills him that there's nothing he can do but watch over you, he watches as you waste away before his eyes, feeling a piece of himself wither away in tandem. 
dan feng’s eyes search yours the moment you regain consciousness, the doctors respectfully step back, bowing before hurriedly exiting the room. his heart breaks into a million pieces when he sees your eyes that were once bright with joy, now clouded with tears. the sight pierces through him, stirring a deep ache in his chest.
"dan feng," you whisper hoarsely, your voice fragile with pain. “it hurts, it hurts so much…” he presses a soft kiss against your entwined hand, his touch a soothing balm amidst the storm raging within him. “don’t worry,” he murmurs softly, “i’ll make it go away soon, i swear.”
“thank you.. but promise me, if i don't make it, you'll find a way to move on.” you manage a weak smile through the pain. his eyes glisten with unshed tears, he shakes his head slightly, "i won’t let that happen." 
of course he won’t. you were the kindest, most lovely soul before this godforsaken unknown illness with no definitive cure stole your life away; he sees your smile slowly losing its radiance, and your eyes dulling as each day passes. 
“this body… it’s useless, i’m useless. i’m sorry, i—” dan feng places a finger against your lips. his touch tender yet firm, stopping your words. "don't say that," his voice choking with emotion. "you're not useless, in fact you're the strongest person i know."
hearing you utter such self loathing words is like a dagger twisting in his heart, tipping him over the edge. you, who have always been his anchor in life's turbulent seas, slipping away feels like fragile glass shattering into countless shards, leaving him scattered and irreparable, each piece cutting deeper into his core with every breath.
he can't face the idea of losing you. it destroys him from within, even more so now that time is running out. but he won’t let anyone else have you, not even the cold hands of death. for you, he’s willing to pay any price, even if it means he has to break the highest laws of xianzhou.
you wake up feeling unusually energized, a stark contrast to the persistent aches and pains that have haunted you for so long. as you sit up, the familiar discomforts are no longer present, instead replaced by an almost surreal sense of vitality.
but something feels strangely off, an unsettling sensation gnawing at the edges of your awareness. your eyes dart around the room, frantically searching for your boyfriend’s presence; he has never left your side without a word (his protectiveness wouldn't allow it anyway), especially not for this long. 
panic flares as you look down at your body. the surgical wounds that once marked your skin have vanished without a trace. your breath catches in your throat as you run your fingers over the smooth, unblemished surface where scars should be.
you push back the covers and swing your legs over the side of the bed, struggling to piece together what could have happened.
where is dan feng? is he in trouble? and, why do you feel so... alive? 
then, a chilling realisation dawns on you. you try to shake the thought from your mind, but no matter how hard you try, you aren’t able to find any other explanation that fits your condition. as the high elder, dan feng should know better than anyone that such an act is a sin —a disgrace...
the truth begins to settle in, he really did sacrifice everything to grant you immortality.
“you’re literally the high elder for god's sake, what have you done?!” you exclaim, your voice trembling with a mix of disbelief and anger.
dan feng's expression is pained as he meets your gaze, his own eyes filled with a desperate resolve. “i’m only trying to help you. you don’t understand, i—”
“help me?” you cut in sharply, scoffing. “you betrayed xianzhou! you betrayed me. i was ready to let go, so why?” 
he reaches out to you, his hand stopping, and hovering in mid air as if unsure whether to touch you. "i can't bear to lose you," he confesses, his voice barely a whisper. "i can’t just stand by and watch you suffer when i have the power to save you."
tears well up in your eyes, the room feels suffocatingly small as you stand in front of him. for the first time, you find yourself on opposite sides of the battlefield, the weight of his transgression hangs heavy between you, tearing apart everything you once knew. 
“by defying everything we stand for?” you choke out, your words laced with venom. “do you realise just what you’ve done?” he takes a step closer, his face etching with anguish. "i know i’ve made a grave mistake." he admits, “but will you believe me if i say that i didn’t regret it one bit?”
“how can you do all this… for love?” your eyes search his for answers that seem unfathomable. “no, my dear, for you.”  he steps closer, his breath warm against your skin, gaze locking onto yours with an almost desperate intensity. 
"but how can i ever love you again after this?" you whisper, your voice trembling. his heart shatters at how your eyes taint with fear and betrayal, the sight wrapping around his chest like a vice. the mere thought of losing you, of seeing you banished because of his desperation, is a torment he can hardly bear —but now one that he has to face.
"if you can't accept what i've done, i'll grant your wish, whatever it is.” he murmurs. “for you, i’m willing to pay any price." 
though when bound in chains, his title of high elder does little to shield him from the repercussions of breaking the sacred laws. he’s taken away; his fate sealed by the very rules he broke. and you, the one he tried to save, find yourself exiled, cast out for the sin you never chose.
as you wander, lost and alone, the realisation of what he gave up for you lingers, a bittersweet reminder of his love that defied everything, yet cost you both so much. 
the land of xianzhou is something dan heng is strangely familiar with; he walks through the maze of narrow alleys and crowded squares, every corner seems to whisper fragments of memories long buried. 
“dan heng! look, isn’t this so cool?!” the excited voice of a pink haired girl reaches his ears. her eyes sparkle with enthusiasm as she animatedly gestures towards a nearby market stall with hand-carved trinkets. she continues to gush over the intricate designs while holding the hand of her grey haired companion, eagerly dragging them towards the stall.
his eyes follows them as their silhouette grows smaller and smaller, eventually disappearing amidst the crowd. just then, another figure in the distance catches his attention.
it’s a brief glimpse, a fleeting moment where your eyes meet across the street. perhaps it's your mannerisms, your familiar gestures, or simply the way you carry yourself —whatever it is, it stirs a rush of adrenaline, a sense of déjà vu that he can’t quite shake.
dan heng pushes through the bustling throng, eyes darting frantically in search of you. the world blurs around him as he focuses solely on catching another glimpse of you; he spots you slipping into a narrow alleyway, and without hesitation, he follows.
the noise of the market fades into a distant hum as his footsteps echo softly against the alley walls. he turns a corner and sees you up ahead, your figure outlined by the dim light filtering through cracks in the buildings.
you soon reach a dead end, but as you turn to leave, you bump into someone’s chest. the world seems to stand still for a moment, dan heng's breath catches in his throat as he looks down at you. although your face is partially obscured by a thin veil, your features are still discernible. 
“oh? it seems you still remember me.” you finally meet his gaze. those eyes he cherished so dearly still hold a spark of life. “[name]?” he murmurs, the sound of your name still so intimate on his lips after many years.
“you haven’t changed one bit.” he reaches out to gently push the veil covering your face aside. a flood of memories rushes through his mind, one a sharp pang in his heart. seeing you again triggers a vivid recollection of the exact place and position you were in years ago, a memory that stings to recall.
“i wonder whose fault it is?” you tilt your head, if only he knew the trouble you went through to find him again; given that goodbyes were never exchanged between you, it seems fitting to offer one now.
before he can say a word, you swiftly grab his collar and wedge him firmly against the wall. he doesn’t resist even when he feels the cold sharp edge of your dagger pressing against his throat, his gaze still fixing firmly on yours. 
"have you ever felt remorse?" you lean closer into him, your voice is barely audible through your gritted teeth. he ignores your question; unexpectedly, he grips your hand, dragging the blade down to his chest, positioning the point directly over his heart. 
"as long as my blood is on your hands, go ahead, do it." he whispers, his voice steady despite the tension. "my heart has always been yours anyway." his eyes bore into yours as if daring you to follow through. 
his grip on your hand tightens, urging you closer. "and if this is what it takes to ease your pain, then i'm ready."
"...what? you must be out of your mind if you think this way of making amends will work." your disbelief is clear in your voice; you try to shake his hand away, but he refuses to budge. 
dan feng couldn’t imagine a life without you, so when death takes your hand, he holds on to your other —and finds you again as dan heng. even as he gets on his knees and begs for your forgiveness, he still holds on to your hand as tightly as he can, afraid that any moment you might slip through his fingers.
“i’m sorry, i just couldn’t accept the thought of you leaving me.” and i still can’t, so please don’t leave me again.
you feel your willpower wavering, his very being melting away at your resolve. it's too much to bear, and you feel yourself slipping under the weight of his words. even still, you find yourself struggling to deny him. to deny yourself. to deny your own feelings. 
you fight the urge to simply give in, torn between the desire to just let go and fall into the sweet oblivion of his embrace, and the fear of getting sucked back into a cycle of destruction and pain. the weight of all that history, all those memories of your bittersweet love, it's overwhelming, nearly crushing.
“i know.” your heart aches, but you still deny the crave of the comfort of his arms. “and you’re not wrong,” the dagger clatters to the ground, the metallic sound echoing through the alleyway. 
“your heart is mine.” you push the veil to cover your face, placing your hands on his shoulder, leaning in. the cool silk brush against his parted lips, and oh… he’s been waiting so, so long for this moment.
though you pull away just as he comes to his senses. for the first time in years, he sees your smile again —the same smile that first captivated him, the one he had cherished and sought to preserve over the years. 
"remember the wish you owe me?" he nods, unable to find words. the memory of his promise resurfaces with startling clarity, his mind racing with the possibilities of what you might ask for. 
dan heng looks in the dagger's reflection; a dishevelled and broken man stares back.
the cold metal digs deep into his palm, the sharp edge slicing into his skin. in that moment, he wants nothing more than to be free of it, than to plunge the blade into his own heart. he feels the pain all over again, the pain of not being able to hold you, to touch you, to be with you.
for he knows that no matter how tightly he grips the dagger, it will never be the same as holding your hand. he knows that no matter how deeply it cuts into his flesh, it will never feel the same as holding you close.
“i wish i never loved you.” your words echo painfully in his mind. “and i hope we never cross paths again. goodbye, dan feng.” he releases the dagger with a sudden twist of his arm.
if choosing you over xianzhou was wrong, then consider him a sinner, and if loving you this much is his downfall, then consider him already on his knees.
but was it worth everything? was it worth it to see the look of utter desperation on his face? was it worth it to see him break apart in front of you? you feel only resentment and satisfaction; you made him feel what you wanted him to feel, you made him suffer for you.
the blade falls from his grasp, he stands amidst the shards of shattered illusions; the pain of your absence cuts deeper than any blade ever could. 
perhaps in another lifetime, he can find you again. 
for now, he honors your wish and only watches as you live on from the sidelines, yearning to be a part of your life again, even if only in his thoughts and dreams. he remains steadfast in his longing, a silent witness to the unspoken ache that lingers in the wake of your parting words.
masterlist
©lowkeyren 2024 only on tumblr. please do not plagiarize, translate, repost on other platforms, or feed my works into ai.
author's notes!! (my line of thought when writing this lul)
1. you made him suffer for you. -> irony. vengeance. he made you suffer BECAUSE of him granting you immortality. 2. dragging the blade down to his chest, positioning the point directly over his heart. = "my heart has always been yours anyway." -> which reader says with “your heart is mine.” 3. “and i hope we never cross paths again. goodbye, dan feng.” -> reader refers to dan heng as dan feng, i wonder what that means. 4. perhaps in another lifetime, he can find you again. -> you're both evil asf ngl, yes he will find you, you can't die aka you can't leave (him). ^ the only reason why he doesn't keep pursuing u now is cus he promised to grant your wish which is "to never cross paths again". (wow, he's such a man of his words.) 5. reader kisses dh over the veil, deliberately denying him the satisfaction of any intimacy. can be seen as a form of "punishment", leaving him yearning for more.
ty for reading xx for each reblog i will write 100 words for pt2 /j (BUT DO REBLOG IF U ENJOYED!! and it might not be a slash jay after all heuehehheh)
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sexlapis · 3 months ago
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ᝰ.ᐟ read me to sleep (zhongli’s version)
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── .✦ zhongli x gn!reader
s4w, fluff, reading, established relationship, petnames
. wc: 1k
a/n: i’m finally living up to my name who would’ve thought? anyway. i’m just so obsessed with the idea of someone (with a very sexy voice) reading to me and that’s why i’m made this fic with zhongli (& nanami). it was lowkey tricky figuring out what petnames zhongli would call his s/o but i know he would not say ‘baby’ or anything modern.
masterlists
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*
He’s not in bed when you wake up.
You blink sluggishly, rubbing the matter and tiredness out of your eyes before you paw at Zhongli’s side of the bed.
It’s only a little bit lukewarm, meaning he left bed quite a while ago.
But to do what?
You recall completing your nightly ritual which included showering, brushing your teeth, washing your face and kissing Zhongli goodnight and falling into a light sleep.
The bedroom door is slightly agar and you decide to take initiative and find your partner yourself.
Sitting up, you unravel yourself from the warm, pleasant satin sheets, wrap yourself in your thin blanket and pad out of the bedroom door and into the hallway.
You wander down the hallway of you and Zhongli’s shared home. It is furnished with cabinets and drawers of the freshest, finest mahogany, the walls embellished with painting of ancient myths of dragons, goddesses and vast mountains, created with an utmost delicate hand, along with traditional, treasured Chinese ornaments and decor.
It is like everything Zhongli touched turned to gold.
You pass the bathroom, guest room and office on your short journey, and then you end up in front of the library.
Of course he would be here.
The library was Zhongli’s favourite room in the entire house. Though it was not exactly sizable, it was cosy and contained rare collections of books that could not ever be found elsewhere.
Amber and vermillion light flickered from the sill of the door emitting from the fireplace, signalling to you that the room was very much in use by Zhongli.
You twist the doorknob and peek in.
There, sitting on a leather armchair, is Zhongli, his reading glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, and a book held within his hands. The lights from the fireplace dance across Zhongli’s skin and his long, ombré hair.
He seems so engrossed in his book, he doesn’t seem to notice you at first. Something like this, him not noticing you come in or hearing you whatsoever, would only occur in the comfort of your shared home, where he feels safe.
“Zhongli,” you quietly call out.
Zhongli’s head perks up, looking at you.
“Oh!” He says your name in surprise. “I was not aware that you had awoken! I did not wake you, did I?”
“No…not necessarily…” You rest your temple on the doorframe, pouting a little. “I got up and went looking for you ‘cause you weren’t in bed.”
“Oh, I see.” Zhongli rests his concern frown. “I had only wished to read some pages of the book I am reading. ‘Rex Incognito, Volume 2’.”
“Ooooo…” You tiptoe over to him, looking over his shoulder at the book, “and is it good?”
“Well,” he sighs, “the ideas are…very interesting.”
You laugh, knowing that that is Zhongli’s way of saying ‘the book is trash’.
“But, I suppose I should get some rest. Sleep is essential for me now, after all.”
…When has it never been essential?
You shrug off that comment and stop him from getting up from his seat. “No, it’s okay. You can keep reading, I just wanna be here too.”
“Oh…well then…” Zhongli starts, then he realises you are blatantly eyeing his lap and he hums, a smile appearing on his lips. He spreads his legs a few inches, patting his thigh, “Come here.”
You practically hop into his lap like a bunny, causing him to laugh so wholeheartedly at your eagerness. The blanket around your shoulders now lay across your legs, and you nuzzle your head into his neck.
“Comfortable?” He asks.
“Yes…” You pause for a few moments, “Zhongli, I want you to read to me.”
“Hm? Do you? This book or another? This book is not exactly thrilling…”
“Yes, Zhongli,” you place your hand over his one, gently stopping him from moving, “I wanna hear you read this one.”
Zhongli’s warm eyes crinkle as he smiles at you, a tender look on his face. “As you wish.”
His body is hard. Solid. Like a rock. It makes you feel safe, steady and protected, guarded in his arms and his grand house like a dragon shielding his precious, beloved jewels.
Zhongli reads. His voice is rich, dulcet, sapid. It is so gentle yet so strong, like the thick stalk of bark and tree, sturdy and stable, yet smooth, like pouring a red wine into a delicate glass.
His voice flows through your body. With your ear pressed near his chest, you revel in the low rumble of his speech, the undeviating beating of his heart, and the bodily warmth that radiates from him.
All of this, along with the cosy ambience and the crackling of the fire has you on a journey to your perfect slumber.
“Does my reading bore you, dearest?”
Your eyes snap open, suddenly wide awake. “Huh? No! Keep reading!”
“I jest, I jest.” Zhongli chuckles and you flick his arm. “Try to stay awake. The best part is coming soon.”
“Okay…”
You try to pry your eyes open with willpower alone, the sleepiness causing them to droop every few moments. Your heart wants you to stay awake so bad, to please Zhongli, but your body says ‘sleep, sleep, sleep’ and you have no choice but to obey.
“Zhongli,” you murmur with drowsiness, “Zhongli, ‘m gonna fall ‘sleep…”
He hums. “I know, my love. Please, sleep. I will continue reading to you until you are having the sweetest of dreams.” Zhongli rests his head on to of yours.
You are just so sweet in his eyes.
You grumble.
And then, slowly but surely, you are fading away into a deep, endless sleep, with Zhongli's melodious voice being your lullaby.
“‘And’-Ah.” Zhongli stops his reading when he realises you are fast asleep, you breath even and snores quiet. “Alright then,” he places a soft kiss on your forehead. “Sweet dreams.”
*
Upon your awakening, Zhongli is gone again, most likely to perform his daily work duties.
But not before leaving you a traditional breakfast, cooked perfectly to the minute, along with a small note written in cursive penmanship, that reads:
Good morning, beloved,
I apologise for leaving so early, duty calls I’m afraid.
I hope you enjoy the breakfast I prepared. It is healthy and good for the start of the day.
Luckily, my duties will be complete at an earlier time. Perhaps we can have a satisfactory dinner and then have a relaxing night in?
No boresome books this time around.
Yours,
Zhongli
*
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a/n: i tried to write him in character but i think i did too much lmao.
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camzeecorner · 4 months ago
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©camzeecorner|⚝ masterlist
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⚝ multi pairing ↴
part one here
Nicole was sprawled across her bed, her slim legs kicked up in the air, swinging back and forth with a restless energy as she scrolled through YouTube on her phone. She flipped over onto her stomach, trying to find a comfortable position, but no matter how she moved, that strange feeling just wouldn’t fade away. Frustration bubbled up inside her, and she groaned, burying her head into the soft pillow, hoping to escape the discomfort that lingered.
She was puzzled by the unfamiliar sensation, her mind racing as she tried to decipher what was wrong. Thoughts swirled around, and in a moment of frustration, she mentally slapped her forehead, recalling a faint memory from a month ago. The details were hazy, but the feelings associated with it were beginning to resurface, urging her to confront what she had been trying to ignore.
“and remember, if you ever get that weird feeling down there again..” Matt spoke pointing between her legs, “just use the tricks we showed you okay?”he spoke softly caressing my cheek. I nodded at him frantically.
I slowly sat up, my fingers brushing the screen of my phone as I turned it off, the room falling into a quiet stillness. I leaned back against my pillows, tugging my shorts down a bit for comfort. With a mix of curiosity and uncertainty, I started to mimic the movements Chris and Matt had shown me, but the sensations just didn’t match the intensity I had hoped for. Frustration bubbled up inside me, and I let out a soft whimper, applying more pressure, desperate to find that elusive feeling. But still, nothing changed. I threw my head back against the pillows, silent tears spilling down my cheeks as I grappled with my disappointment.
“What if it doesn’t work?” I pout. Nate got up walking over, sitting next to me. “Then..call us! And we’ll help you again.” He spoke cheerful smiling at me. Matt and Chris nodding along.
I reached for my phone, my fingers trembling slightly as I opened our group chat. A wave of hesitation washed over me; uncertainty gnawed at my mind, making me question whether I should really reach out. I took a sharp breath, feeling the weight of my decision, and finally began to type, the words flowing from my fingertips as I poured my thoughts into the message.
Best kids to live
colie : hi guys! are you free? Or is this a bad time?
Mattress: hi princess, it’s never a bad time for you
chrizzy : hi doll you okay?
nation: lowkey just shit but I’m chillin, what do u need pretty girl
colie: it’s happening again, I can’t make it stop
nations: what do u mean mama
*chrizzy and mattress emphasized nations message*
Colie: that feeling is back, I tried to rub like you guys said but it’s not helping. It’s really uncomfortable, can you please help me again?
mattress: we’ll be there in 10.
*END OF CONVERSATION*
I sat on my bed, the anticipation building as I patiently waited for the boys to arrive. After what felt like an eternity, about twelve minutes later, the sound of my front doorbell echoed through the house. Jumping up, I quickly slid my shorts back on and made my way down the stairs, my heart racing with excitement. As I reached the living room door and swung it open, I was immediately greeted by the familiar faces of Matt, Chris, and Nate. A warm smile spread across my face as I stepped aside, inviting them in with a welcoming gesture.
“Hi guys!” I chirp happily, my voice bright with excitement. I start walking up the stairs, the sound of their footsteps echoing behind me as they follow closely. Entering my room, I hear the door click shut behind us. Nate, always the energetic one, quickly strides over to me, gently pushing me down onto the bed. The sudden movement catches me off guard, and I let out a surprised gasp. “Don’t worry, mama, we’re gonna make that feeling go away... okay?” he reassures me, settling onto his knees in the same spot he had occupied last time. I gulp, my gaze dropping to the floor as a rush of emotions floods through me, feeling my shorts dampening with a mix of anxiety and desperation.
Matt settled onto my bed, positioning himself close but still leaving a comfortable space between us. Chris took a seat in my chair, which was positioned across from my bed, creating a little distance yet still keeping the atmosphere intimate. They both sat there in silence, their eyes fixed on me, as if I were the main event of a show they were eager for. The stillness hung in the air, charged with anticipation, making me acutely aware of their gaze.
Nate began tracing small circles on my thighs, sending shivers of pleasure coursing through me. I tossed my head back, surrendering to the sensation of his touch. It was strange how the same actions felt so different when they were directed at me; their hands had an electric quality that I found utterly intoxicating. As Nate leaned in closer, a soft whine escaped my lips, and I shook out a breath, overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. He started to pepper kisses along the inside of my thigh, each gentle press of his lips igniting a fire within me.
I let out a shaky whine, my breath hitching in my throat. Shutting my eyes tightly, I tugged my lips between my teeth, trying to steady myself. He slid his long fingers to my waistband, the anticipation making my heart race. With deliberate slowness, he tugged them down, maintaining his dominant composure throughout. A soft groan escaped my lips as the cold air hit my skin intensely, sending a jolt through my body that heightened every sensation.
He smirked, glancing up at me with a playful glint in his eyes. “Still the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen,” he spoke lowly, his voice smooth and teasing. I felt my cheeks flush at his words, warmth creeping up as I turned my head to the side, trying to hide my embarrassment. “Thank you…” I murmured softly, barely above a whisper. He responded by blowing lightly against my skin, each breath building more wetness and heightening the tension between us.
I grind my hips up slightly, only to be pushed back down as Nate wrapped his strong arms around them, holding me firmly in place. He sank his head further in, and I felt a rush of anticipation. When his tongue made contact, a cry escaped my lips, raw and unrestrained. “N-Nate…” I whispered, breathless and overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment.
He hummed against me, keeping his head lowered, his focus entirely on me. His tongue was a masterful force, licking and devouring every inch of me, making sure to savor every drop of sweetness with deliberate care. I reached my hand down, tugging gently at his brown locks, feeling the warmth radiate from him. He groaned against me, pushing his head in deeper, intensifying the sensations. My body responded with soft whines and whimpers of pleasure, each sound a testament to the overwhelming delight coursing through me.
Feeling the strange tightness in my stomach, I instinctively bucked my hips forward, a wave of sensation crashing over me. I panted softly, my head tossing and turning as I tried to process the intensity that was almost overwhelming. “You gonna cum?” Chris spoke lowly, his voice laced with anticipation. I nodded my head quickly, breathless and unable to form a coherent sentence, lost in the moment.
Feeling the orgasm wash over me, I cried out, the intensity of the moment consuming me. I was breathing hard, my chest heaving with each rapid inhale. Sweat dripped down my forehead, causing loose strands of hair to cling to my skin. I whimpered softly as Nate pulled away, his gaze lingering on me. He licked his lips, savoring every drop, a satisfied smile playing on his face. His hand rubbed my thigh gently, and he asked, “You okay, mama?” “Uh huh,” I replied softly, still catching my breath. I blinked a few times, wiping away the tears that had escaped, feeling a mix of satisfaction swirling within me.
Nate shifted from his spot as I watched Chris stand up, his movements deliberate and confident. Nate settled into the chair that Chris had just vacated, a knowing look passing between them. Chris walked over to me, positioning himself between my legs, his presence both comforting and electrifying. He rested his hand on my knee, gently rubbing it in soothing circles. “Think you’re good for two more rounds?” Chris asked, his gaze flickering between me and Matt, a hint of mischief in his eyes. Excitement bubbled within me at the thought of feeling even better, and I nodded eagerly. “Yes,” I replied, a smile breaking across my face as I giggled softly.
“Okay…” he spoke lowly, pulling me closer to the edge of the bed before sinking down to the floor. His hands began to work magic, gently rubbing circles on me that made me shudder with anticipation. He maneuvered his fingers in ways that sent me spiraling into another universe, each touch perfect, hitting every spot I desperately craved. “This might hurt, okay? Just let me know if you want me to stop, alright?” I gulped lightly, a wave of nervousness washing over me. “O-okay…” I managed to speak, my voice hoarse and trembling.
Feeling small rubs on my shoulder, I turned my head to meet Matt’s soft gaze, his eyes filled with reassurance. “It’ll be okay, just relax… the pain will be gone quick,” he spoke in a calming voice, and instantly, I felt a wave of comfort wash over me, easing my tension.
Turning my attention back to Chris, I sucked in a breath as I suddenly felt a finger entering me slowly. I shut my eyes at the unexpected pain, a soft whimper escaping my lips. “It’s okay, baby…” I heard Chris coo softly, his voice soothing. Matt ran his fingers through my hair, the gentle caress helping me relax into his touch. “O-oh,” I breathed out, feeling his finger move back and forth, slow and steady. Gradually, some of the pain was replaced by pleasure, and I couldn’t help but groan at the new sensation.
“M’gonna add another, okay?” Chris spoke, looking up to meet my eyes, his expression full of desire. I nodded at him, releasing a shaky breath as anticipation coursed through me.
He sank another finger in, stretching me lightly, and I rolled my hips upwards, feeling the pleasure build within me. I could feel his fingers curl, plunging in and out faster, each thrust gaining speed and intensity. I squeezed around him, relishing the new sensation that coursed through me, too intoxicating to resist. “O-oh my…” I breathed out, feeling my legs trembling softly beneath the wave of pleasure. I felt Chris add his thumb to the mix, rubbing slow, deliberate circles on my soft pink clit that sent shivers down my spine.
I felt my breath hitch in my throat, causing me to choke out a moan that echoed in the air. The pleasure was overwhelming, consuming me completely, so much so that I couldn’t focus on anything else. I tuned everything out, zeroing in on the exquisite sensation of Chris's fingers working their magic. I began to move my body against his, instinctively matching his rhythm, lost in the intoxicating dance of our connection.
“You gonna cum baby? Hm.. you gonna make a mess on my fingers.”Chris said hungrily, locking his intense gaze onto mine, igniting a fire within me. I grunted as my eyes began to roll back, my mouth parting slightly in a gasp. “Eyes on me,” Chris commanded, his voice firm as he softly slapped my cheek, bringing me back to the moment. I whimpered, feeling the pressure build inside me. Then, he began to move at an ungodly speed, pushing me to arch my back, a scream escaping my lips in the process. “C-chri-chris!” I cried out, desperately clutching onto his arm, lost in the overwhelming sensations.
I came hard, feeling myself clenching and squeezing his fingers. My eyes rolled back, making my vision fuzzy. Feelings his fingers slow, he began to stiff his movements allowing me to ride out my high. Slowly pulling his fingers out before sucking them clean.
“So fucking sweet” he mumbled.
“My turn!” Matt exclaimed, laughter bubbling up as he jumped to his feet. It wasn’t long before I felt the familiar rush of excitement wash over me again. Matt sauntered over, looking down at me with a playful glint in his eyes. “I’m gonna fuck you so good…” he whispered, his voice low and teasing. “Fuck me?” I asked, confusion knitting my brows together just as I felt a sharp slap on my pulsing pussy, making me shriek in surprise. “Don’t say that…” Matt warned, pointing a finger at me with a mock-serious expression. I nodded slowly, surrendering to his playful commands, the anticipation swirling around us.
Matt started by lifting his shirt off his head, the fabric gliding over his skin before he tossed it casually toward my door. With a confident grin, he began unbuckling his belt, the metal clinking softly as he pulled it free from the latch. He swiftly unbuttoned his pants, the sound of the button popping echoing in the room. In one fluid motion, he yanked them down, stepping out of them with an air of nonchalance, leaving a trail of excitement in his wake.
I glanced over his body, taking in every detail. It was stunning; he was truly a piece of artwork. His faint abs were subtly defined, and his tattooed arm was a canvas of intricate designs, all covered in deep black ink. A chuckle above me pulled my attention up, and I found Matt grinning down at me. “You like what you see, doll?” he teased. I nodded slowly, my eyes trailing down his body until they landed on a hard-looking lump covered by his black boxers. “What’s that?” I asked, moving my hand up to touch it gently. I heard Matt stifle a moan, his breath hitching as he sucked in a sharp inhale. “Shit,” he murmured, the tension in the air thickening. “Mm..that’s my cock..” my eyes stuck to his cock, I tilt my head to the side showing my confusion. “What’s that?” I asked. “It’s like the boy version of a vagina” he spoke calmly. “You wanna touch it baby?” I nod my head fast smiling up at Matt.
He spun around swiftly, directing his attention to Nate and Chris. With a quick nod, he beckoned them over before turning back to me. “You wanna touch theirs too?” he asked, a playful glint in his eyes. I nodded eagerly, a smile breaking across my face. “Yes, please,” I replied sweetly, hoping my polite request would earn me the permission I desired.
“Go on... take my boxers off,” Matt said in a chilling voice that sent a shiver down my spine. I reached up, my fingers trembling slightly as I tugged at the fabric of his briefs, pulling them down slowly. Matt exhaled sharply, tossing his head back in a moment of surrender. “Shit,” he murmured, his voice low and filled with a mix of surprise and pleasure. I couldn't tear my gaze away from the sight in front of me. “You like it?” Nate asked, a smirk playing on his lips as he watched my reaction. “Yes,” I replied, my voice steady, not daring to look away. I gently ran my hand up and down, feeling the tension in Matt’s body as he let out a deep groan.
Pulling my hand away, I turn to nate and Chris seeing them already with their own cocks in the hands. They were all so big. I reach up pressing my palms against them both. “Fuck” Chris groaned shutting his eyes, followed by Nathan moaning.
“Alright, mama, enough touching...” Matt said, his tone both playful and commanding. Nate and Chris strolled around the bed, settling against my wall, their gazes fixed on me with an intensity that made me feel like the center of their attention, as if I were a feast laid out before them. Matt gently pushed me down, his hands rubbing against me in a way that sent a thrill through my body, blending teasing and tenderness in the most tantalizing way.
I whine softly at his touch, exhaling gently as a wave of sensation washes over me. His hand finds mine, interlocking our fingers in a firm yet comforting grip. “This might sting a little, squeeze my hand,” he murmurs softly, his gaze fixed on me with an intensity that makes my heart race. He positions himself, aligning his tip with my entrance, and as he slowly moves in, I instantly feel the stretch, the pressure making me squeeze his hand tightly. I breathe in and out slowly, trying to steady my breath amidst the overwhelming sensations. “Let me know when to move, okay baby?” he prompts, and I nod, focusing on getting used to the feeling before I finally signal him to start moving.
Starting with slow thrusts, he moves deliberately, savoring each moment. “You okay, princess?” he asks, his voice laced with concern. “Y-yea... you can speed up,” I reply softly, my heart racing. As I feel his hips gain momentum, the rhythm intensifies, his body hitting against mine with increasing force. After a few minutes of teasing slowness, I begin to whimper lowly, lost in the sensation. The sound of Matt’s skin slapping against mine sends my mind spiraling, making everything around me fade into a blissful haze.
“S-shit..taking my cock good” Matt groaned above me, the sound vibrating through the air as his movements quickened. It felt as though he were reaching deep inside me, a sensation that made my stomach flutter. He leaned his head back, sucking in a breath, his pleasure palpable. His hand reached down to rub my puffy clit, the gentle touch sending jolts of electricity through my body, making me twitch involuntarily. “Oh Matt... feels so good,” I breathed out, completely lost in the moment.
“Yea? You gonna cum?” I nod my head, arching my back up into the air. I whine loudly, the pleasure taking over my body. I begin grinding my body against Matt’s adding to the pleasures running through my body. I felt like I was in heaven. Hearing his whimpers and moans making my head spin. My body was shaking uncontrollably under Matt, his thrust getting sloppier. “Want you to cum s’bad baby.. can you do that?” He asked as his hips still pounded into mine. “Y-yes” I speak, I could feel the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes.
Looking to the side i noticed Chris and Nate. They were playing with their cocks, heads thrown back and soft noises leaving their mouth. I loved the sight, feeling heat rise to my face. “Yea you like that? You like seeing your friends get off to seeing you fucked?” Matt asked me with a smug look of his face. My lips were puffy and covered by my own spit. My eyes rolling into the back of my head.
I could feel the tension in my stomach, I was so close. So so close. I just needed more, I craved more. I’ve never felt this good before, and I was addicted to it. The pleasure was so intense I began crying. Feeling the tears leak onto the mattress. “Wanna cum so bad” I pleaded, my voice sounding strained. “Cum on this dick baby.” Feeling my legs shake, I tossed my body around. “Oh mat.. Matt Matt Matt” I shouted as I came hard. The white liquid spilling onto Matt, he came shortly after with a long groan. “Fuck..” I heard Matt pant. Feeling my body shake, Matt pulled out of me slowly. My cum oozing from me. “Shit” Chris spoke, his cum flying onto his chest. Nate was soon to finish, his hot sticky cum landing on his lower stomach.
“How was that for your first time baby?” Matt asked me tucking strands of hair behind my ear. I smiled loosely. “Felt amazing” I said tired.
Tags - @shaquilles-0atmeal @midsturn @sturniolo-girl hope you like!
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miirohs · 8 months ago
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nothing on me but you [l.d.n]
pairing: Mob Boss!Lando Norris x Assistant!Reader wc: 1.0k cw: slight dubcon (they kiss while reader is under influence and without permission), possessive behavior, he is a red flag lowkey? an: and when the world needed her most, she came back (after crying for 2 weeks straight and slapping herself to pull it together)... chat i didn't cook with this one pls dont flop.
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You could feel people's eyes on you even as you left the hall, talking quietly among themselves as you clung on tighter to Landos arm, almost trying to make yourself invisible.
You could hear their still hear their sighs of pity, following you out the building.
You knew exactly what they were whispering were about.
It wasn’t a secret that Lando was a playboy, and now everyone assumed you were just another one of the bodies in his count. You were madly in love with him, and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to face the fact that you were just another thing he would claim, sooner or later.
As the cold wave of realization and sadness washed over you, you let go of your grasp around his shoulders, gently prying his hands off you as you stood still. You hadn’t drunk enough to be able to forget a whole car ride home.
“Sir, this doesn’t look right, I think you should just let me go home by myself.” You mumbled, head hanging in shame as he turned back to you. The alcohol wasn’t wearing off quick enough.
“Leave you alone? Drunk?” He said, tone incredulous as you looked at him. 
“Mmmh, I could just call an uber…?” You trailed off, noticing the look of annoyance on his face. He rarely hid anything from you, especially not his displeasement.
“An uber? I don’t think it would be very wise of me to leave you alone like that, I'm surprised you could even suggest such a thing while I'm still here.” He said sternly, reaching out to grab your hand firmly. “C’mon, you’re in no state to leave on your own baby.”
His car was parked at the corner, lavish from the outside and especially on the inside as you slid in, letting go of his hand as he shut the door with a smile.
The car ride was met with a charged silence, comfortably settled between you. You could see the city lights from your window, beating brightly in the distance. You kept stealing glances at him every now and then, watching as the light from the streets passed over his eyes, jewelry glinting softly. His hand gripped the wheel as he drove, humming something softly. The song playing softly in the background seemed to tune out as his hand intertwined into yours. 
It was just too calm. You just couldn’t bear the silence any longer.
“Sir, i just wanna ask-”
“Lan.”
You paused, taken aback by the sudden interruption.
“I’m sorry?”
“Start calling me Lan again. I miss it.” 
You hadn’t called him that in ages, not since the days of your early and very short friendship. You wondered what could’ve brought it up, but you were in no place to say no.
For a moment, you wondered if he felt the same.
“Sir- I mean Lan, what are you doing this for?”
“So what, I can’t do nice things for you?” He chuckled, cringing slightly as the edge in his voice betrayed him. His hand slipped away from yours and you wanted to grab it back, but shame kept you from doing so.
“Well, i just assumed that you just wanted to-” He turned towards you, eyes dark as he looked you up and down.
“Assumed that I was doing this just because I wanted you in my bed? Have you been listening to what all those worthless people whisper about you and me then?” He tsked, clearly peeved by the things coming out of your mouth.
“Isn’t that what you did for all the other ones too? I’m just one of many-” His grip on the wheel tightened, knuckles turning white.
“Who said that you were one of all those other ones, baby?” 
His words cut through the ache in your heart like a knife. You almost couldn’t breathe, thoughts filling your head at what he’d just said.
"Baby, who said that you were one of all those other ones?" he repeated softly, his voice gentle in comparison to the deadly smile on his face. 
You swallowed hard, finding it hard to think under his intense glare. “I- I don’t know. I just thought that maybe we’d be better off parting ways because clearly people don’t-”
“You’re such a liar baby, you know that?”
“What?” Your heart dropped.
You hadn’t realized you had reached his sprawling mansion, the lights coming alive as you came to a sharp stop at his doorstep.
He hadn’t unlocked the door handles either, turning off the ignition and then turning to you.
“Such a liar, baby.” There was warmth in the laughs he let out, yet his expression was unreadable as his hand gently cupped the back of your neck, bringing your face closer to his.
“I’ve seen the way you look at me. Can you imagine how mad it made me up to see you look at other people like that?” He hissed, lips almost up against yours.
You whined as he moved away, smirking at your state.
You wanted him desperately, and he knew. “Can’t you see that I want you? And don’t lie, I know you want me too. Don’t think I haven't seen the way you’ve looked at me.” He cooed, leaning into you.
You faltered, unable to form a coherent response as Lando’s hand moved to your cheek, his touch comforting and suffocating at the same time.
“I want y-“
But before you could utter another word, he pulled you in, pressing his lips firmly against yours. He gnawed at your bottom lip, slipping his tongue into your mouth, the aftertaste of champagne overpowering it all.
You broke from it, inhaling deeply before he pulled you in once more, relentless in the way he greedily devoured the air from you. His grip on your nape had loosely returned, thumb running up and down the back of your neck before his hand slowly ran down the backless dress.
You pushed him away again, softer this time as you choked on the sudden intake of air.
His head ran up and down your back, eventually wrapping around your waist to bring you closer to him.
“I want nothing on me but you, have I made that clear? I love you.” He whispered, pressing his forehead to yours.
“Lando.”
“Say it back, please.” He begged, a slightly pout forming in his face.
“I love you too, Lan.”
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apollodarling-writes · 7 months ago
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Babycakes can you pretty please write a male y/n x yan!ghostface where y/n doesn’t die in the end and lowkey falls in love 🤭 (also pretty please make ghostface a praiser 🙏🏽)
FAMOUS LAST WORDS
yan! dbd! ghostface x gen jockey! male! reader
cws : yandere themes, a bit of dry humping, praise, creampie, choking, rough sex, kinda ?? handjob (reader receiving), orgasm control, knife play, anal, pronebone, dubcon??? , mentions of public masturbation, thigh fucking, danny is a tease, reader cleans his blood off of the bowie so blood play but ingestion??? , cum eating i guess but the reader is made to clean up his cum from danny’s gloves.
the fog that hung between the trees was particularly thick this trial. the red forest was known for being hard to navigate in some areas due to the low lighting, and the natural fog scattered throughout the landscape was of no help either. you were unsure if one of the survivors offered the entity a bottle of murky reagent, but it had become harder to see than it already was. you suppose you couldn’t complain as it made you harder to track, and thus it was easier to hide.
your group had completed two generators without a single person being hooked. anxiety knotted your stomach as you mulled over what the killer was up to. was the killer waiting for your group to finish the generators and then camp the gates? were they watching from the shadows and getting some sort of sick pleasure from watching the lot of you squirm? the answer to these questions was beyond your reach, and you knew that all you could do was focus on the task at hand. if you struck the wires too early, you would blow up the generator and the killer would surely know your location if they didn’t already.
a chill runs the length of your spine, gooseflesh raising the hairs on your body. you stop repairing the generator for a moment, the feeling of being watched prevalent as your swivel your head to find the source of the gaze. you’d been in this realm long enough to abide by your instincts. your gaze flits through the trees, your heart thumping in your chest as you are unable locate the source. chalking it up to the quietness of the trial, you busy your hands with firing the wires of the generator, successfully sparking one portion. you sift through your toolbox, searching through old and rusted scraps for something to replace one of the broken parts.
a hand suddenly grips the back of your neck, hoisting you off the ground. a hand muffles your cry of protest, bending your front over the generator.
“shhh… just be quiet now, baby.” a muffled voice all but pants, their chest pressing against your back as they lean forward to whisper in your ear. “i’ve finally got you to myself….”
you recognize that voice — the ghostface. realization washes over you; the quietness of the trial, feeling watched, the lack of a terror radius…. it all made sense now. your tongue darts out to lick the leathery material of his gloved palm in a feeble attempt to get him to release you.
“be patient now,” the ghostface groans, “we’ll get there, pretty boy.”
the ghostface maneuvers his fingers to grip your wrists, pinning them behind your back while grinding his half-hard cock into the meat of your ass. you squirm at his touch, feeling disgusted at the desperate panting the man behind you let out.
“i know you’ve been thinking about this,” the masked man grunts, his breath hitching. “i’ve seen you fuck yourself in trials before — did’ya think i wouldn’t know?”
shame and embarrassment wash over you, a quiet whimper leaving your lips as a hand snakes around to palm you through your bottoms. “n—not here… please—“
“god, look at how cute you are,” the ghostface coos, his gloved hand slipping past your waistband and cupping your length. “keep begging like that and i won’t be able to control myself.”
“i’m not—“
“ah-ah, quiet now… don’t you wanna be good for me, baby?” he purrs, your hips bucking as his thumb brushes against your cockhead. ”mmm, so sensitive. i think im gonna have fun with you…”
the ghostface’s hand tugs down your pants, your protests going unheard as you hear his robes shift. his cock slides between your thighs — the intrusion unwelcome and unfamiliar.
“stop… i cant — we can’t… not here.” you panic, your gaze flitting through the areas you could see. god forbid any of the other survivors witness this and get the wrong idea. you’d be considered a fucking traitor. maybe they’d even think you were selling them out. or, shit, what if they thought you were slutting yourself out to survive?
“shut the fuck up,” he groans, his cock brushing against your shaft. “just sit there and look pretty for me, ‘kay?”
your mouth immediately closes, figuring it would be better to just let him have his way and hopefully all five gens will be done by the time he finishes. your body is tense with shame and guilt, your thighs clenched around the masked man’s length in an attempt to get him off faster.
the ghostface spits in his hand, wrapping his fingers around you again, and pumps you in time with each thrust. with each movement, you find yourself melting into his touch, biting your lip to keep yourself quiet. he was too good at this, and he fucking knew.
“y’like that, baby?” you could hear the smirk in his tone.
“fuck you.“ you grit out, hating that you were becoming aroused at such an invasive, disgusting act.
“oh, i plan to, little bunny.”
the masked man removes his hand just as you were on the cusp of your orgasm, a soft whine leaving your lips. your cockhead is flushed an angry red, beads of precum now smeared along your shaft. “why’d you—“
you suck in a breath as a finger slowly dips into your ass, curling into your g-spot. the feeling was foreign, and it hurt like a bitch, but fuck did it feel good. “yeah? just like that, pretty boy?”
he slowly pumps his finger, careful not to hurt you as he works up to another one; his fingers scissor and stretch, curling into your prostate. before you knew it, the man had gotten three fingers in you, your legs shaking and your whimpers increasing in volume as you come closer and closer to your climax.
“fuck — ‘m gonna cum.” you pant, your back arching as you try to fuck yourself on his fingers. through a lust-induced haze, you hear a faint chuckle before the sensation you crave eludes you. the ghostface removes his digits, your cock twitching and aching for release.
“oh, you poor thing. were you gonna cum?” the man murmurs teasingly, his own erection throbbing beneath the layers of his robes. he eagerly grips the back of your neck and ushers you on your stomach behind the generator, lifting his clothing just enough to carefully push inside of you.
“y’so fuckin’ tight..!” he hisses, releasing your wrists to press down on your lower back. your fingers find purchase in the dirt of the forest floor as the ghostface slowly thrusts into you, your gummy walls hugging the man’s cock so deliciously.
with each thrust, you found it harder and harder to control your volume. with the way the man had angled himself, the tip of his cock bumped against your g-spot damn near constantly. your stomach tightened as your release began to approach once more, desperate whimpers and whines leaving your lips as tears pricked your eyes.
“i’m gonna cum – ‘m gonna fuckin’ cum…” you whine, “please, i need more!”
the killer groans in ecstacy at your desperation, his cock twitching inside of you as one hand wraps around your throat, lifting you from the dirt. “gonna have to fuck you more often, yeah? youre doin’ so fuckin’ good for me, baby.”
his digits tighten around your throat, cutting off your air supply as your jaw slackens at the brutal pace. a gurgled moan parts your lips, your face growing red from the lack of oxygen. mercifully, he releases his grip on you, but is quick it with the cold steel of his bowie knife.
the ghostface snakes an arm around your midsection, pumping your cock in time with each mind-numbing thrust. you hold yourself up as the blade trails along your flesh, drawing thin lines of blood. it seemed that the man was getting off on the pain he inflicted, his thrust becoming harder, faster.
the blade trails up, pressing against your lips. “open up, baby. gotta clean up your mess.” the ghostface breathily groans, his thrusts growing sloppy.
your lips part, the blade resting on your tongue as your lips close around it. it tastes like iron, your own blood coating your tongue as your cock twitches in the killer’s fist. ropes of cum spill onto the leather of your assailant’s glove, a long moan erupting from your throat as your vision blurs with tears. your hips buck into his grasp, the killer never once stopping. your mind melts into a delicious quiet, the only thing you’re able to focus on is how fucking good it feels.
“fuck — you feel so fucking good, bunny.” he groans, sheathing his blade and replacing it with the cum stained leather. “be a good boy and clean off my glove, yeah?”
the killer pants as you mindlessly obey his order, the bitter taste seemingly only serving to arouse you further. you lap at the cum on his glove while the killer fucks into you with fervor, breathy groans leaving him as the chill of his mask presses into your shoulder. the ghostface weakly thrusts into you as his climax washes over him. his cock twitches inside of you, cum painting your insides as he slowly comes down from his high.
the man is quick to fix his attire as the exit gate sounds, leaving you breathless as cum drips down your thighs, the scent of dirt and sex staining your clothing. with shaky legs, you pull up your bottoms and quietly mull over what just happened as you make your way to the exit gate on the opposite side of the map.
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klovesyall · 9 months ago
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Oh my. My brain is full of ideas, but I can't write.
Spencer, but it's his first time showering with his gf? Either she casually invites him to join her, or maybe she's also a member of the BAU and was injured and needs some assistance?
AN: oh absolutely hun. I wasn’t sure if you wanted nsfw or fluff so I went with fluff for a safe option. Also I’m so sorry if this lowkey sucks. This is definitely my first rodeo with writing and I know it’s not perfect but I hope you kinda like it?
OK MORE RECENT AN: im sooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry this took so long. I don’t even have an excuse. And I’m so sorry because this is ASS. But I feel bad not giving you anything so here you go
Warnings: Fluff, swearing? , talk of nakedness and stuff idk
————————————————————
Spencer had been extra protective of you ever since you got hurt. He didn’t want you to lift a single finger, even though you were perfectly capable. He made you food , carried your bags, hell- he even offered to carry you if your crutches got too annoying. All of this to say , he was willing to do anything to make you comfortable.
“Spence, I’m gonna take a shower.” You say with your back turned as you grab some pajamas out of the dresser drawer.
“What?” His voice was filled with concern, as it often was. When you turned around toward him he had the same amount of concern written on his face
“I have to shower Spencer, my hair is so dirty it looks wet.” You haven’t washed your hair in a few days, relying on dry shampoo and braided hair to get you by.
Spencer was thinking for a moment , you could tell by the way his brow furrowed slightly. He finally answers “Let me help you.”
You were slightly taken aback by his response. Spencer wasn’t usually confident enough to initiate or out right suggest anything intimate. And taking a shower together was definitely intimate. Not to say you were opposed to the idea though
“Are You Sure Spence? You do know I shower naked right?” Your tone was some what joking but also kind of not. Regardless you hear the little chuckle you love so much
“Yes I know. I dont want you to fall and get hurt any more than you already are. If you don’t want me to thats fine I just-“
You cut him off
“That would be really helpful, thank you.”
You see Spencer’s worry ease from his face and it’s replaced with a little curve of his lip
You give him a little smile before returning to grabbing your pajamas and walking to the bathroom. Spencer graciously follows you inside, locking the door behind him. When you turn to the counter , Spencer is quick to slip past you, turning on the shower for you.
“Do you take your showers warm or hot.” Spencer asks as if it’s so incredibly normal
“Uh hot I guess? It’s ok I can-“
He stops you when you begin to walk over
“Let me Take Care of you. Please.”
You sigh “you know I can do it myself.”
Spencer takes a step toward you, placing his hands on either side of your shoulders
“I know, but I don’t want to risk anything. You do so much for me and you deserve to be helped as well, especially when your injured. So please let me do this for you.” His voice is soft but you can tell how strongly he feels about this
“Ok, I’ll let you handle it.” I say
He smiles “can I take your clothes off?”
I Nod “You don’t have to ask.” You said that a lot, and it didn’t matter how many times you did. Spencer always asked
He grabbed the bottom of your shirt and you raised your arms. He pulls the shirt off your body and folds it before placing it on the counter. He does the same with your pants. Your standing only in your underwear now
“Do you want me to do the rest?” You ask
He shakes his head “turn around for me.”
You turn so your back is facing him and he unclasps your bra, sliding it down your arms until it hits the floor. He hooks a finger under your underwear on either side of you, pulling them down and helping you step out of them. He smiles when he meets your eyes again
“See something you like pretty boy?” You raise an eye brow in a teasing manner.
“Always.” He replies before walking you over to the shower. Holding his hand, you slowly take a step inside until your under the water. Once inside , Spencer takes a step back and sheds his clothes as well before joining you in the shower.
Spencer had ensured that you had a shower bench installed into the bathroom you shared when you moved in together. He said it was for safety reasons but, you still wondered if it might be for other things.
“Sit.” Spencer says, leading you to the bench.
When you sit down he detaches the shower head and wets your hair. When it’s what he considers wet enough, he lathers shampoo into his hands and begins to massage it into your scalp.
This man has very capable hands, many uses. And washing your hair just got added to the list of them. You close your eyes from a moment letting out a contended sigh
“Feel good sweetheart?” Spencer asks gently
“Mhm, definitely.” You reply, barely opening your eyes.
Spencer rinses out the shampoo and conditions your hair. He helps you wash off and when you finally stand , you wrap your arms around his neck. His hands lace around your waist
“Thank you Spencer, you’re an angel.” You say pressing little kisses to his jaw. You can see the blush creeping on Spencer’s face.
“You’re welcome, I’m always happy to help you.” He says peering down at you.
The two of you exit the shower. Wrapping towels around your selves and getting dressed- well Spencer refuses to let you dress your self so he helps you. He even blow drys your hair for you because he knows you don’t like going to bed with it wet.
————————————————————
You lay in bed on your side facing him as he looks back at you. You reach out and brush a strand of his hair out of his eyes.
“You should stay home tomorrow.” Spencer says breaking the silence.
“Absolutely not. I’m perfectly capable of going into work. Plus Hotch would have my head if I didn’t go.” You say and Spencer sighs
“I don’t like the idea of you out on the field” he says once again with concern
“You’ll be with me. I’ll be fine.”
He sits up “I don’t want you to be fine I want you to be healthy.”
You sit up and scoot close to him “Spencer I’m going to work. If it makes you feel better I’ll stay back with Penelope and help her.”
Spencer relaxes a little “yea. Ok that makes me feel better. But don’t go doing anything stupid. That means no trying to entertain Penelope with” Spencer throws up air quotes “crutch tricks”
You groan and lay back down “whatever you say.”
You can hear Spencer’s little laugh as he turns off the lamp.
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jockwrites · 1 month ago
Text
selfish - p.b
part: 1
summary: the beginning of “friendship” between you & paige.
warnings: cursing
a/n: hellooooo welcome back to another series, i’m sure this will be fun to write and im excited for you guys to see where this goes!
my eyes drifted across the lecture hall, landing on a familiar face—paige bueckers. obviously, i’d heard so much about the star basketball player, but seeing her in person was different. she was leaning over a textbook, her blonde hair falling forward as she focused intently.
i felt my heart flutter slightly as i took her in. there was something about her demeanor, her strong jawline, and the way her muscles filled out her shirt. i quickly looked away, chiding myself. i kind of forgot i have a boyfriend and what not.
as the lecture began, i found myself sneaking glances at paige every so often. each time, i felt that familiar flutter in my chest. i tried to brush it off as mere admiration for her athletic prowess, but a small voice in the back of my mind whispered that it was more than that. but it can’t be, i have a boyfriend.
after class, i gathered my courage and approached paige as she was packing up her bag. my heart raced as i got closer. “hi, i'm madison. i just wanted tell you i really admire your skills, you know, on the court.”
the voice in the back of my mind was telling me i sounded so very stupid. introducing myself to the paige bueckers? absolutely ridiculous, but worth a shot.
paige looked up and flashed me a warm smile, her blue eyes crinkling at the corners, “hey, thanks! i've seen you around campus. you're in my psych class, right?”
i nodded, feeling a little flustered under her gaze. “yeah, i am,” she stood up and stretched, her arms reaching overhead and making her shirt ride up slightly. i caught a glimpse of her toned stomach and felt a sudden urge to reach out and touch it.
but i can’t be feeling like this. over a girl? no way, i have a boyfriend.
paige's smile lingered as she tucked her book bag over her shoulder. “it's nice to meet you, madison,”she said, her voice low and smooth. “maybe we can study together sometime? psych can be tough.”
i swallowed hard, nodding eagerly. “yeah, that'd be great,” i managed to say. as paige walked away, i watched her retreat, admiring the way she looked with each step. i shook my head, trying to clear it.
what was i doing?
i met up with my boyfriend, jason, later that day. he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close and kissing me deeply. usually, his kisses made my heart race, but today, all i could think about was paige. guilt washed all over me.
no girl has ever made me feel this way, ever. i’ve always considered myself straight, maybe bisexual. but the only reason i’d ever consider myself bi is because i’ll think a girl is cute every now and then.
sure, i’ve kissed a few girls, but i never felt anything. i’ve never felt that kind of connection with girls, ever. well—atleast not the feeling i feel with jason. i love jason, he’s my everything, but i can’t help but shake the feeling of how im lowkey simping for a girl.
one weekend, paige and i had spent the day together. no studying, just hanging out. we'd gone to the park, lay on the grass, talking and laughing. i'd felt so at ease with her, so comfortable. too comfortable, maybe.
at one point, she'd leaned against me, her head on my shoulder. i'd stiffened at first, surprised. then i'd relaxed, enjoying the warmth of her body against mine. i'd even slipped my arm around her, pulling her closer.
it had felt... nice. too nice. i’ve started to love looking at her mouth, wondering what it would be like to kiss her. i'd quickly pushed the thought away, guilt washing over me. i have a boyfriend, i reminded myself sternly. i can't be thinking about kissing paige.
but i couldn't stop thinking about it. days turned into a week, and the memory of that moment in the park lingered. i always remember myself staring at paige's mouth during our study sessions, blushing when she'd catch me looking. i was so confused. it felt so wrong, but so good.
weeks passed and i’d continued to steal glances at paige in psych class, my heart fluttering each time. for the past few weeks we’ve hung out, nothing special but it was great. we would go for ice cream, maybe get my favorite—zaxbys, and it would all be good. but genuinely, it’s horrible being around her.
im in a relationship with someone, yet im falling for another person. that person being a girl. i sound fucking stupid.
our professor announced a big project, assigning partners randomly. my heart pounded as the list was read aloud. “madison cooper and paige bueckers,” she called out.
i froze. there is no way she assigned me with the girl call myself liking. paige and i exchanged a surprised look. a slow smile spread across her face, and i felt my knees go weak. as we gathered our things after class, paige approached me. “looks like we're partners, madison.”
“looks like it,” i breathed, my voice barely audible. her nearness made my pulse quicken. we decided to meet at the library that weekend to start on our project. as i left the lecture hall, i felt a mix of excitement and dread.
i have a boyfriend.
that weekend, i sat across from paige at a worn wooden table in the library. she was leaning over her laptop, her brow furrowed as she typed. i couldn't help but stare at her strong hands, her broad shoulders, the way her hair fell messily over her shoulders.
paige looked up, catching me staring. she smirked slightly. “you okay, madi? you seem a lil… distracted.” i blushed, averting my eyes. “i'm fine, just... thinking about the project.” even to my own ears, the excuse sounded weak.
but that nickname, madi.
i mean—everyone calls me madi. but from paige, her saying it, it sounds heavenly. i don’t want anyone else to ever call me that nickname again now that it’s left paige’s mouth.
i notice madison staring at me—a lot, and it makes me feel a strange warmth in my chest. as we worked on our project, i found myself stealing glances at her too, admiring the way her brow furrowed in concentration, the way her lips parted slightly as she reads.
i start wondering… wondering what it would be like to kiss those parted lips, to run my fingers through her silky brunette hair. i shook my head slightly, trying to dislodge the thought. madison isn’t my type, i don’t think. i know she’s straight, but i could definitely turn her.
then again, she has a boyfriend.
she’s only mentioned him a few times, talking about their dates, future plans and what not. but honestly, he sounds lame. she mentioned he got her flowers & candy for her birthday, what a loser. like seriously? a girl like her? if it was me, i’d go all out.
as the day went on, i became more aware of the subtle signs madison was giving me. the way her eyes lingered on me, the slight flush of her cheeks, the way she bit her lower lip.
i decided to test the waters. as she passed me a printout, i let my fingers brush against hers. i saw her intake a sharp breath, her eyes darting to mine. her skin is soft, smooth like butter. despite the subtle, small action, i could feel how soft and fragile her skin felt.
“sorry,” i murmured, not pulling away from her touch. her fingers curled around mine, squeezing gently. “it's okay,” she whispered back, her voice barely audible. i felt a jolt of electricity at her touch, her response. i was onto something.
paige's fingers brushing against mine sent shivers down my spine. i looked into her eyes, and for a moment, everything else faded away. i felt a strong urge to lean in, to close the distance between us. but then reality hit me like a cold shower.
i have a boyfriend.
i gently pulled my hand away, trying to compose myself. “we should probably focus on the project,” i said, trying to sound normal. i turned back to my laptop, my mind racing. i can't let myself fall for paige, i have to stay loyal to jason or whatever.
but i still don’t understand how im falling so hard for a girl. a girl i just met at that, it sounds alien to me. if you told me 2 months ago i’d be head over heels for this woman, i’d look at you like you needed a straitjacket.
we continued working across from each other, the air thick with tension. i made sure to keep a safe distance, to not let our hands touch again. but being near her was torture. her scent, her presence, the way her voice deepened slightly when she was concentrating... everything about her drew me in.
as the hours passed, i found myself zoning out, my mind wandering to forbidden thoughts. paige's strong arms around me, her lips on mine, her hands exploring my body. i quickly rolled my eyes, trying to clear the images. no, i can't think like this.
i have a boyfriend.
i feel like i’m going insane, there is no way in hell im actually thinking like this. thinking like this about a girl, am i crazy? i think so. but it just sounds so right. i don’t think i’ve ever imagined times like this with jason though.
i mean, we did have sex a few times. but when i met him, i didn’t think like that— it was more of an emotional connection. i wasn’t immediately thinking about what his lips would feel like on mine.
paige seemed to pick up on the change though. she didn't bring up the touch again, didn't act the way she was acting earlier. we worked in near silence, the tension between us palpable but unspoken. as we finished up for the day, i felt a mix of relief and despair.
“not gon’ lie, i didn’t expect you to be this smart,” paige remarked, laughing softly as we packed up. “yeah, i try my best in academics,” i agreed softly. she smiled at me, and i felt my heart ache. why does it have to be her? why do i have to be taken?
“same time next weekend?” she asked. i hesitated for a moment. being around her was torture, but it was a torture i craved. “yeah,” i heard myself say. “same time next week.”
as i walked home, my mind was in turmoil. i knew i should end things with jason, that my heart wasn't in it anymore. but the thought of hurting him, of disappointing my family, held me back. i buried my face in my hands, a frustrated groan escaping my lips.
and no, im not trying to end things because of paige, thats silly—this thought weighed heavy on my mind for months. i mean, very good guy, but things just haven’t been the same. paige, she’s just the cherry on top.
i found myself in an impossible situation. i was falling for paige, but i was committed to someone else. i couldn't keep stringing jason along, not when my heart barely belonged to him.
here’s the situation: me and my boyfriend are falling apart, i’m falling for a girl, and my life is in shambles. sounds crazy right? yeah, i know.
i spent the rest of the week distracted, snapping at jason when he'd try to talk to me, zoning out during family dinners. but can you blame me? my situation is shit. i feel horrible, horrible for doing this to my boyfriend, horrible for falling for this girl.
my mom noticed, pulling me aside one evening. “madison, talk to me,” she said softly. “something's on your mind.” i hesitated. i wanted to confide in her, to tell her about paige, about my conflicted feelings. but i was scared. scared of her reaction, scared of what would happen next. so i chickened out. “it's nothing, mom.”
she searched my face, concern etched on her own. “madison, you can talk to me, you know. whatever it is, we'll figure it out together.” her voice was gentle, encouraging. but i just shook my head, pushing past her to retreat to my room.
alone in my room, i curled up on my bed, hugging a pillow to my chest. all my thoughts weighed down on me like a brick as i realized the mess i was in. i was torn between duty and desire, between what was right and what felt right. and i had no idea how to fix it.
this is the reality of being a girl i guess— or being a girl liking another girl. i’m a mess. i barely know her, it’s only been about a month or two, and they’ve been great, i can say that. but i just don’t get what’s wrong with me. what kind of phase am i going through?
i guess time will tell sooner or later.
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bell4donn4 · 9 months ago
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Getaway truck | a western road trip with Luke Castellan
Tags: established relationship,Luke and reader are basically the mom and dad of chb, reader’s godly parent is not specified.
Author’s note: tbh I’ve been lowkey obsessed w western Americana and road trips. I wanted this to be longer but whatever
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The humid wind coming from the rolled down window gently messed up your hair.
You sat quietly on the passenger seat of the washed out green truck you and Luke rented. It must have been a Ford 1967, or some other kind of vintage model.
You couldn’t tell, and honestly, you didn’t bother to anyways, too busy looking out of the window admiring the desertic surroundings; sipping on your coca-cola.
<<you smudged your lipstick>> he glanced at you, taking his eyes off the road to send you a lopsided smile. One of his big and rough hands rested on your bare thigh, exposed by your jeans shorts.
It was mid summer, almost autumn time, yet the western country side never failed to drain you out with its scorching weather.
<<did I?>> you pulled down the visor, inspecting yourself in the small mirror; but you could tell he was right by the red stain on the metal can.
<<oh yeah, I did>>
Luke laughed lowly while he took a turn to the left, hand strong and firm on the steering wheel. You admired him in silence, a sort of pride filling your ego as you looked at your boyfriend.
That day, he wore a white linen shirt, which he (purposely) left unbuttoned on the chest, making his Hermes dog-tag visible. A pair of sunglass used to sit in the bridge of his nose, but were now long forgotten on the dashboard. It felt weird to see him without the bright orange shirt.
This little getaway from camp was going more than lovely. Finally free from all the responsibilities you both had to take on. You couldn’t even imagine how the camp must have looked like in that moment, with both of the two head counsolers gone.
<<do you think they set the cabins on fire?>>
<<for how long have we been away?>> Luke said
<< half a day?>> you nodded
<<yeah then, the woods are probably already burning as well. Along with the cabins and all>>
he hummed in approval at his own answer, earning a giggle from you.
He caressed your thigh with his thumb.
<<im joking, I’m sure the kids will be alright>>
<<you sound like an old dad>>
He shrugged his shoulders, grinning; but just as it started, the conversation slowly died down.
In the background of your comfortable silence, a low melody coming from the radio filled your ear.
With Luke, you didn’t need to talk. No many words need to be spoken with a man like him. You have been together enough to understand each other in silence. Plus— that should’ve been a sort of vacation from the chaos of camp.
So you preferred not to add anything else, simply allowing the worries to occupy the back of your mind.
You turned the music up as Molly Parton started playing.
You enjoyed the song, humming along the robotic notes coming from the radio.
Fortunately, by the time you arrived at your destination— a lake far far away from the one you had to see everyday— the worries were all gone. Replaced by that fuzzy feeling that only being with Luke could give you.
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lupinqs · 2 months ago
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CHAPTER EIGHT ━━ Old Times, New Times
☆ ━ pairing: hopkins!paige x oc (dani callan)
☆ ━ word count: 3.8K
☆ ━ warnings: lowkey like none i think
☆ ━ links: my masterlist, take me to church masterlist
☆ ━ author’s note: i think you guys will hopefully like this chapter
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THE BUZZER rings out loudly, signaling the end of the game. The roar of the crowd reverberates through the gym as Hopkins claims their first victory of the season, the scoreboard flashing their win by a significant margin. Paige stands in the center of the court, her breath coming in heavy pants, sweat dripping from her forehead. She’s exhausted, her muscles aching from the relentless pace of the game, but the high she feels is unbeatable.
This, she thinks, this is what she lives for. The rush of adrenaline, the energy in the gym, the way everything just clicks on the court. Basketball is where she feels most like herself—where all the chaos in her mind settles into the steady rhythm of dribbling, passing, shooting. And tonight, she’s played damn near perfect, putting up a stat line she knows will have the local papers singing her praises tomorrow.
But as her teammates rush to congratulate each other, as high-fives and fist bumps fly, there’s a small part of Paige that isn’t fully present in the celebration. A part of her that keeps pulling her back to the student section, where she saw Dani and Beau earlier, clearly mid-argument. How they’d stormed out of the gym together. Her stomach had twisted at the sight, but she forced herself to push it away. Focus on the game, she had told herself. Lock in.
Still, even in the heat of the action, her mind had wandered, wondering what they were fighting about, wondering if it would finally—finally—be the thing that made Dani leave him for good. Paige hates that Dani’s still with him after everything. Beau’s a walking red flag, and she can’t stand the way he treats Dani, the way Dani seems to dim whenever she’s around him.
But Paige can’t think about that now. The game is over, they’ve won, and she can finally let herself breathe.
She heads to the locker room with her teammates, the mood high and celebratory. The sound of laughter and chatter fills the space, everyone buzzing from the win, but Paige moves through the motions automatically. She showers quickly, letting the hot water wash away the grime and sweat from the game. Normally, she’d stay in a little longer, enjoy the post-game rush with her team, but tonight, she feels the need to get out. To clear her head.
Her body is tired, but her mind won’t rest. Thoughts of Dani and Beau—of that argument—are still there, swirling around in the back of her mind like an itch she can’t quite scratch.
By the time Paige is dressed and heading out of the locker room, most of the gym has emptied. It’s quiet now, the sounds of the game and the crowd just a memory. She walks through the empty halls of the school, her footsteps echoing off the tiled floors, and pushes open the door to the athletic entrance. The cold night air hits her immediately, and she pulls her hoodie tighter around herself, letting out a breath that fogs in the chilly air.
She’s ready to head home, eager to get some rest, but as she walks toward the parking lot, something catches her eye.
Dani.
(She always seems to just show up, doesn’t she?)
She’s sitting on a bench just outside the entrance, her phone in her hand, scrolling aimlessly. Paige slows her steps, confused.
She walks over, stopping in front of Dani. “Why are you still out here?” she asks, her voice cutting through the quiet of the night.
Dani looks up, startled for a moment before she shrugs, giving Paige a small, annoyed smile. Not annoyed at her, Paige knows, but at whatever situation she’s in. “I’m waiting for an Uber.”
Paige furrows her brow. “An Uber?”
Dani nods, a frustrated edge to her expression. “Beau left me here. He was my ride.”
Paige’s stomach clenches, and she can’t help the scoff that escapes her. “He left you here? Seriously?”
Dani just shrugs again, like it’s no big deal, but Paige can see the tension in her shoulders, the tightness in her jaw. She can tell Dani’s trying to play it cool, but Paige knows her better than that.
Paige shakes her head, exasperated. She sits down on the bench next to Dani, her knee brushing against Dani’s as she does. “Dan, you really need to break up with him. He’s such a dick.”
Dani lets out a small, breathy laugh, and when Paige looks at her, she sees the mix of frustration and resignation in her eyes. “I did,” Dani says quietly, surprising Paige. “That’s why he left.”
The words hang in the air for a moment, and Paige’s heart skips a beat.
Dani broke up with Beau?
“You broke up with him?” Paige asks, her voice coming out softer than she intended, almost like she’s afraid to jinx it.
Dani nods, looking down at her hands. “Yeah.”
Dani broke up with Beau!
Paige blinks, momentarily speechless. She’s been waiting for this—hoping for this—for months now, but hearing it still catches her off guard. “Um,” Paige starts, a small smile tugging at her lips, “I’d say that I’m sorry but…”
Dani lets out a laugh, real and unfiltered this time, and Paige’s heart swells at the sound. And then Dani smiles—really smiles. That wide, dimpled smile that Paige has known her whole life, the one that can brighten up even the darkest of days. It’s the kind of smile that makes Paige’s chest feel warm and tight all at once, like the sun is shining directly into her heart.
“I’m not sorry either,” Dani says, her voice light but firm, like she’s finally letting go of something heavy.
Paige can’t help but smile back at her, the weight of the moment settling between them. They sit there for a second, just grinning at each other, and for the first time in what feels like forever, things between them feel right. Like maybe they’re finally finding their way back to each other, even if it’s just a small step.
After a moment, Paige stands, gesturing toward the parking lot. “Come on,” she says, her voice soft but insistent. “I’ll drive you home. You’re not taking some stupid Uber.”
Dani hesitates for a second, but then she nods, standing up and following Paige to her car. They get in, the car warm and familiar, and for the first few minutes of the drive, it’s quiet. Paige’s hands grip the steering wheel, her mind racing with everything she wants to say, everything she’s been holding back for months now.
She glances over at Dani, who’s staring out the window, her expression unreadable. And Paige can’t help but wonder how Dani’s really feeling. Breaking up with Beau must be a relief, but Dani’s been so distant lately, so caught up in the mess her life has become. Paige’s heart aches, wanting to ask Dani if she’s okay, if she’s really okay, but she doesn’t want to push.
As they get closer to Dani’s house, Paige feels the question bubbling up in her chest, and she can’t hold it back anymore. “Uh,” she starts awkwardly, glancing at Dani, “do you wanna go get, like—milkshakes or something? Y’know, like how we used to?”
The words hang in the air for a moment, and Paige’s heart pounds in her chest. She knows it’s a risk, asking Dani to hang out like old times, but she misses her. She misses their late-night milkshake runs, the way they used to laugh and talk for hours, the way Dani used to look at her like she was the most important person in the world.
They stop at a red light, and Paige glances over at Dani, her chest tight with anticipation. Dani’s face is hesitant, her brows furrowed like she’s unsure, and Paige’s stomach twists in worry.
“I know you’re scared,” Paige says quickly, rushing the words out, “and for good reason. But your dad doesn’t have to know. And this absolutely doesn’t have to be anything but two friends hanging out. I just—I just really miss you, Dan. You’re my favorite person.”
There’s a beat of silence, and Paige’s heart feels like it’s lodged in her throat. She’s terrified that Dani will say no, that things between them have changed too much. But then Dani turns to her, and there’s that soft, genuine smile again, the one that makes Paige feel like she can breathe easier.
“I miss you too,” Dani says, her voice quiet but sincere. She pauses for a second, and then she adds, “Let’s go get milkshakes.”
PAIGE PULLS into the Steak ’n Shake drive-thru, the familiar glow of the menu boards lighting up her dashboard. She glances over at Dani, who’s quietly staring out the window, and a soft warmth spreads through her chest. It feels so right to have her next to her again. Like no time has passed. Like they’re still the same two girls sneaking out late at night, pretending the world outside the bubble of their friendship doesn’t exist.
Without even thinking, Paige rolls down her window and rattles off their order. “One mint chip shake with extra cherries, and one oreo, no cherries.” She doesn’t need to ask Dani what she wants—she’s known Dani’s favorite shake for years. It’s muscle memory at this point, like breathing. Like basketball.
As they pull up to the window, Paige is already reaching for her card, ready to pay. But out of the corner of her eye, she sees Dani moving too. She glances over and spots Dani holding out her own card, handing it to Paige like she’s going to pay for their shakes.
Without even thinking, Paige lightly bats Dani’s hand away. “Fuck no,” the blonde says, her voice firm but teasing. There’s a smile tugging at her lips, and she sees the faintest flicker of a grin on Dani’s face, too.
It’s always been like this between them—Dani never pays when it’s just the two of them. It’s an unspoken rule, one that Paige has never let Dani break, and she’s not about to start now.
Dani rolls her eyes, but there’s no fight behind it. Paige takes that as a win as she hands her card to the cashier, paying for their shakes like she’s done a hundred times before. When the milkshakes come through the window, Paige hands Dani her oreo one without a word. They fall into the same rhythm they’ve always had—so familiar, so easy, even after everything.
Paige pulls out of the drive-thru, the weight of the milkshake in her hand a comforting reminder of all the nights they’ve spent like this. She doesn’t ask Dani where to go. She already knows.
The streets are quiet as they drive toward the park, the hum of the engine filling the silence between them. It’s not awkward—it’s never been awkward with Dani—but Paige can feel the undercurrent of tension, like they’re both waiting for the other to say something. She knows things aren’t the same as they used to be. Too much has happened. There are too many unspoken words between them now, things they haven’t figured out how to talk about.
But for now, they’re just two girls with milkshakes, driving to their spot like they’ve done a million times before.
When they pull into the small, empty parking lot of the park, Paige cuts the engine and takes a deep breath. The park looks the same as it always has—the swings gently swaying in the breeze, the picnic tables scattered across the lawn, the faint glow of the streetlights casting long shadows over the playground. It feels like a time capsule, like this place has been frozen in time while everything else in their lives has changed.
The chill of the November air hits Paige as she steps out of the car, but it’s the kind of cold she’s used to—the kind that cuts through her hoodie, making her breath visible in the night air. She pulls her hood up over her head and glances at Dani, who’s already walking ahead of her, sipping on her milkshake like nothing’s changed. Paige jogs a few steps to catch up, the gravel crunching under her shoes, and falls into step beside her.
For a moment, it feels like old times—just the two of them, side by side, no one else in the world. Paige’s stomach flutters, a mix of nostalgia and something else she can’t quite place. She watches Dani from the corner of her eye, noticing the small smile on her face, and that makes her heart feel a little lighter. The park, the milkshakes, Dani—everything almost feels normal again.
As they walk, Paige starts to playfully flick the straw of her milkshake in Dani’s direction. It’s subtle at first, but when she catches Dani glancing over with a raised eyebrow, Paige smirks and flicks it again, harder this time. A drop of mint chip shake lands on Dani’s jacket, and Dani laughs, pushing Paige away playfully. Paige grins, feeling a surge of warmth rush through her that has nothing to do with the cold air.
“Really?” Dani asks, wiping the spot with the back of her hand, but her smile is bright, the tension between them momentarily forgotten.
“Hey, I had to do something to get you to laugh,” Paige shrugs, though her grin doesn’t fade. Hearing Dani’s laughter after everything—it feels like a victory.
They keep walking, both sipping their milkshakes, the silence between them falling again but in a way that feels comfortable, like slipping into an old sweater. As they approach the playground, they veer off the path and head toward the spot that’s always been theirs—the platform above the slide.
Paige looks up at it, feeling a tug of memory. Dani broke her arm up there years ago. They’d been daring each other to jump from the platform, and Dani, being Dani, went for it. Paige can still remember the panic that gripped her when Dani hit the ground wrong, the rush to get her help, the way she held her hand the whole drive to the hospital.
Without speaking, they both climb up onto the platform, just like they’ve done a thousand times before. The slide is still there, worn and a little rusted from years of use, but the platform itself is solid. They sit side by side, their shoulders touching, and sip what’s left of their milkshakes, the breeze brushing lightly against their faces.
Paige glances up at the stars, her fingers grazing the worn wood beneath her as she breathes in the cold night air. The silence between them stretches out, but it’s peaceful. For the first time in a while, it feels like they’re both okay with the quiet, like they don’t need to fill it with words just yet.
Surprisingly, it’s Dani that breaks the silence. “This is nice,” she says softly, her voice cutting through the stillness.
Paige turns to look at her, surprised by the way Dani’s voice sounds—calm, thoughtful. Dani stares out at the neighborhood in front of them, the soft glow of streetlights reflecting off her skin. Paige hums in agreement, her eyes tracing the lines of Dani’s profile. In the moonlight, with the cold air flushing her cheeks, Dani looks beautiful—like, really beautiful. It’s not that Dani doesn’t always look beautiful, because she does, but there’s something about her right now that makes Paige’s breath catch.
Dani continues, her voice quieter now. “I… I thought I would feel, like, disgusting or wrong or… whatever hanging out with you. But I don’t.” Her words hang in the air, and Paige can feel the weight behind them. Dani turns to make eye contact with Paige, her eyes soft and vulnerable. “I missed this. I miss us. I miss you. And I’m really sorry that I fucked us up.”
Paige blinks, the words sinking in, and for a second, she doesn’t know what to say. She shakes her head, leaning forward just slightly, her pinky ghosting along Dani’s hand. The touch is small, almost imperceptible, but it’s there, grounding them both.
“You didn’t fuck anything up,” Paige says, her voice quiet but firm. “This wasn’t your fault.”
Dani shakes her head, her mouth twitching a little like she’s fighting a frown. “My actions did this. It is my fault.”
But Paige cuts her off before Dani can spiral further. “No,” she says, her tone sharper than she intended. She softens it, not wanting to scare Dani away. “None of this is your fault. We got caught in a shitty situation that we didn’t ask for.”
Dani’s gaze flickers away, like she’s not ready to accept that, but Paige can’t let her carry that weight. She can see it in Dani’s eyes, the way her lips press together in thought. There’s a sadness there, a self-doubt, etched into her features like something permanent. Paige hates it.
“Dan, you’re the best person I know,” the blonde murmurs, voice low. “This wasn’t you.”
For a second, Dani doesn’t respond. She just stares ahead, her milkshake abandoned beside her. Paige wonders if maybe she pushed too far, said too much. But then Dani opens her mouth to speak again, and Paige watches her blink rapidly against the wind.
“You… you say that,” Dani whispers. Paige thinks she sees her eyes swimming, the brown glistening with tears in the moonlight. “But all I ever feel now is wrong. They said they would fix me, but I’m still just as big a problem as I was before.”
Paige’s heart clenches, a dull ache spreading in her chest as she watches the tears gather in Dani’s eyes. She hates hearing her talk like this— hates the crack in her voice, the way she looks so defeated. Paige shakes her head, unable to hold back the frustration bubbling up in her.
“No,” she says firmly, her voice steady even though her insides are twisting. “You’re not the problem, Dani. You never were.”
Paige sees Dani bite at the inside of her cheek, seeing the indent, the Callan girl’s lips pressed into a tight line like she’s struggling to keep the flood of emotions at bay. Paige reaches out, her fingers brushing against Dani’s hand, softly interlocking their fingers. The touch is light, hesitant, but it’s enough to get Dani’s attention, her gaze slowly shifting back to meet Paige’s.
“They didn’t fix anything because there’s nothing wrong with you,” Paige continues, her words deliberate, each one meant to chip away at the knives Dani’s carved into herself. “You don’t need to be fixed. Dani, I promise you, you’re perfect.”
A tear slips down Dani’s cheek, followed by another, and Paige feels the weight of everything Dani’s been holding inside—the fear, the guilt, the shame that’s been festering. Dani’s shoulders tremble as she wipes at her face, her breath shaky as she tries to hold it together, but the dam has already broken.
“I don’t feel perfect,” Dani says, her voice cracking, and the raw vulnerability in her words hits Paige like a punch to the gut. “I feel different and terrible and I just—I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
Paige tightens her grip on Dani’s hand, her fingers threading more firmly through hers. “Dan, you’re still you,” she whispers, leaning in slightly. “You’re still the same girl who made me laugh so hard I peed my pants that one time in sixth grade. You’re still the same girl who jumped off this platform and broke her arm just to prove a point. You’re still my favorite person. None of that has changed.”
Dani’s eyes meet Paige’s again, full of doubt, full of hurt, but something in them softens at Paige’s words. For a moment, it feels like the weight on Dani’s shoulders has lifted, even if just a little. She opens her mouth to say something, but the words seem to catch in her throat. Instead, she just trails off, staring down at their intertwined hands.
Paige watches Dani’s face, the way her brow furrows with stress, the tension visible in every line of her body. Without thinking, Paige shifts her hand, her thumb brushing lightly over Dani’s fingers, and then over the back of her hand. It’s such a small gesture, but it feels huge in the space between them—like a bridge connecting them after all the distance that’s been there for so long.
Dani glances down at their hands, her gaze lingering for a second before flicking back up to meet Paige’s eyes. Something shifts in the air between them—something delicate and fragile but undeniable. The words that were on Dani’s lips die, and for a second, everything just stops.
Paige’s breath catches, her heart pounding in her chest. She can’t help it—her eyes flick down to Dani’s lips, just for a moment. They’re so close. If she just leaned in…
So she does.
The kiss is slow, almost hesitant at first—barely more than a soft press of lips against lips. It’s tender, sweet, like the first snowflake that lands on the tip of your nose in winter. It’s not a kiss that’s meant to burn, to ignite anything wild or urgent. It’s soft, a quiet reassurance.
Dani doesn’t pull away. Her lips are warm against Paige’s, and for the briefest moment, the rest of the world falls away. Paige’s mind goes blank except for the feel of Dani’s mouth on hers, their fingers interlocked between them. The kiss is short—just a peck, really—but it’s everything to Paige.
Everything.
When Paige pulls back, her heart pounding in her ears, she opens her eyes and meets Dani’s gaze. Dani’s brows are furrowed again, the stress and conflict clear on her face. Paige can practically see the turmoil swirling behind Dani’s eyes—everything she’s been told, everything she’s been forced to believe, all crashing up against the way she feels right now.
Without thinking, Paige lifts her hand and gently smooths the crease in Dani’s brow with her thumb, her touch light but firm. “Hey,” she whispers, her voice soft as the night around them. She lets her thumb trail down, smoothing the lines of Dani’s forehead, trying to ease the weight of the world from her shoulders. Then, leaning in, she presses a soft kiss to Dani’s forehead.
Dani lets out a soft, shaky sigh, her breath warm against Paige’s hoodie, and then she leans her head against Paige’s shoulder. Paige wraps an arm around Dani’s waist, pulling her in closer, her chin resting lightly on top of Dani’s head. The world outside is quiet—the neighborhood is still, the stars twinkling above them in the crisp night sky—but all Paige can focus on is the warmth of Dani against her, the steady rise and fall of her breath.
They don’t say anything for a while. They just sit there, wrapped up in each other’s presence, watching the world around them. Paige’s fingers trace soft circles on Dani’s back, her head resting gently on top of Dani’s, and for the first time in what feels like forever, Paige feels at peace.
Eventually, Dani shifts, her voice quiet and hoarse from the tears she’s shed. “Thank you,” she whispers, her words barely audible.
Paige tightens her grip on Dani just slightly, her heart swelling. “Always.”
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whosbloom · 3 months ago
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Spencer Reid » Pumpkin carving
day 1 of flufftober
⋆.˚ summary: persuading spencer into carving pumpkins with you leads to more then you expected
⋆.˚ fluff , lowkey insulting Derek , friends-to-lovers , mutual pining , very awkward romance
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“This is so gross..” Spencer whined for the nth time as he walked over to your sink, rinsing his hands off again to rid of the pumpkin guts that coated his fingers. “How do people do this every year?”
“It’s not that bad, Spence. I offered to gut it for you so you could just cut the face out..” You raised your brows at him, carefully pulling pumpkin seeds from the guts and laying them across several paper towels you had laid out. “You could get the pumpkin seeds out for Rossi and Penelope if you want.
He simply gave you a look at your suggestion, shaking his head and wiped his hands dry with a hand towel, before standing back towards the counter and carefully grabbed his pumpkin.
“My pumpkin is shaped like Derek’s head.” He mumbled under his breath, picking up one of the several markers you had laid out across the counter, hunching over as he started to sketch out the face he wanted to cut out.
“Is that an insult to him or the pumpkin?” You smiled at him, placing the last of the pumpkin seeds down and walked over to the sink to finally wash your hands. “The pumpkin.” He smiled back at you, turning his pumpkin towards you.
He had only done a simple triangle eye so far but you could tell he was proud of it nonetheless, before he turned it away again and continued to sketch out his face.
You couldn’t help but admire how concentrated he was as he sketched, his bottom lip caught between his teeth, a slight furrow in his brow, and his gaze not faltering once so ever.
“You’re staring again.” He spoke up, finishing up his pumpkin and turned it towards you, his lines wonky and slightly wavy. “Again?” You questioned, crossing your arms over your chest.
He nodded with a smile, before grabbing the pumpkin carving knife and sat in a stool, pulling the pumpkin with him so he could hunch over and start to carve out the face.
“You stare a lot more than you think you do. A lot of times when I’m reading or talking to Derek I can feel your gaze burning into the back of my skull. I’m surprised Garcia hasn’t talked to you about to.. she always asks me about it.” He rambled on, shrugging as he carefully carved.
You were at a slight loss for words, blinking a few times before finding yourself moving a bit closer to him, crossing your arms and leant against the counter.
“Do you not like when I stare?”
He paused for a moment, glancing back at you before turning away again. “I don’t mind it.”
You nodded along, turning away and picked at your nails for a moment, not seeing him put the carving tool down and turned towards you.
“I stare too sometimes. I can’t help it—you’re just.. really beautiful. I know this is cliche and probably the worst time to say any of this, but I’m too nervous to say it any other time, and being alone with you seems to be the best option—“ He quickly cut himself off and took a deep breath, holding a hand up before continuing.
“I don’t want Derek or Garcia to see because I know they won’t drop it ever, but honestly I really like you. I really hope you like me too.” He breathed out, turning away again and nervously went back to carving.
You stared at him blankly, blinking a few times before swallowing the lump forming in your throat. “I like you too.”
His eyes widened for a moment, glancing at you and pressed his lips into a thin line. “Cool.. cool.” He nodded and let out a breath, clearly just as nervous as you were.
The two of you stayed silent for a moment longer, with you standing up and walked over to your pumpkin, awkwardly picking up a marker.
“Can we consider this a date?” He asked quietly, glancing up at you from across the counter, his brows knitted together.
You looked back at him, a smile creeping onto your face as you nodded and started to draw your own face on the pumpkin.
“Yeah.. it’s a date.”
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tags: @lemoniiiiiii , @xrag-dollx , @jazz-berry (lemme know if you wanna be tagged for the other days !!)
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sukunasbow · 1 year ago
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sick, bellamy blake.
summary: in which you take care of bellamy blake when he catches the virus spreading around the camp!
warnings: fem!reader, kane’s daughter!reader, kinda ‘enemies’ to lovers, mentions of blood and puking, doesn’t exactly follow the original scene from the show, some use of (y/n), and not proof read so grammar but be really trash atm since i wrote this at like five in the morning!
notes: this is lowkey bad and i don’t know if anyone still reads the 100 works but enjoy to anyone who likes this!
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“Clarke!” Jasper yells, running towards the drop ship, catching your attention. “What? She’s resting, I’m taking over.” You walk towards the doorway, pulling down the old shirt you have wrapped around your neck to cover your face, wondering what’s wrong now.
Murphy brought back some virus from the grounders, quickly spreading it to almost everyone at the camp. Due to this, you’ve spent the entirety of the night walking around the ship, cleaning up the bloody faces of the people around you and giving clean water to them after Clarke caught the virus and could no longer take over.
As you reach the doorway, your eyes widen when you see Jasper standing next to three boys. One of the boys is being held up by the other two. “Bellamy?” You immediately run towards the boys when you realize who it is, “Jasper, stay outside, you can’t get sick.” You instruct, stopping him from getting any closer to his sick friend. “Come on, help me make space!” You yell, leading the boys towards a dirty cot in the drop ship. “Here, thanks.” You tell them, the boys carefully lying him down before quickly leaving the room full of sick teenagers.
“Bell?!” Octavia rushed towards her brother, who you quickly turn on his side as he starts throwing up blood. “Oh my god.” You squint, somehow still not used to the sight of bloody vomit. As much as you hate the stubborn and self appointed ‘leader,’ you felt awful seeing his current state. “I got this.” Octavia places a hand on your shoulder, letting you know she wants to take care of her brother and have some space, “Call me if you need me.” You nod.
“Hey, get some rest, let me take over now.” You whisper, kneeling down next to Octavia and her sleeping brother. “Are you sure?” She bites her lip, clearly struggling to stay awake. “Yes, go sleep.” You smile. Octavia gives in and accepts your offer, going to sleep near Clarke, still close enough incase anything happens while she’s resting.
Moments later, your eyebrows raised at the sound of Bellamy moving around. “Hey, hey. What’s wrong?” You breathe out, trying to be as gentle as you can, awkwardly touching his arm. He opens his eyes even more, squinting to make sure it’s you.
“Oh. I thought you hated me, huh? Yet you’re taking care of me?” Somehow while he’s going through a deadly virus, he still manages to piss you off and be arrogant. “Would you rather me just let you choke on your own blood?” You scoff. He lets out a raspy laugh, coughing up some blood in the process. “Ew.” You fake gag when you notice some of the blood splatter on your shoes, still trying to remain lighthearted. “Shut up.” He huffs. “Let me help, sit up a bit.” You mumble, taking the shirt you previously were using as protection and dipping it into a clean bucket of water, then moving closer to Bellamy. “You need to stay away, stop.” He pushes you away, only now noticing the lack of face covering you have on. “It’s fine.” You move back to where you were, carefully grabbing his face, running your thumb over his cheekbones as you gently dab the wet cloth on his face. The dried blood slowly washes off of his face.
“There he is.” You place the cloth down beside him. “I can finally see your smug face.” You joke, earning an eye roll from him. “All better.” You hum. A small smile appears on your face as his eyes start fluttering shut. Although you’re supposed to be against him and his shit leading skills, you still feel a part of you melting at the closeness between you and him. “Okay, you can go back to sleep.” You laugh at Bellamy’s attempt to stay sitting up and awake. “Wait, no, I should-” He starts, you quickly stopping him from moving. “Bellamy.” You whisper, “Please, just let yourself relax.” You tone is soft and gentle, something that surprises both of you, even more the man, his eyes softening. He feels his own heart melt, which also surprises him.
As he goes back to lying down, he watches as you carefully walk away, weaving around the drop ship, avoiding the other people that are lying down. He catches himself almost smile. Now, he realizes he might feel something opposite of ‘hatred’ towards you, the stubborn daughter of Marcus Kane that always disagrees with him, who he’s supposed to be against.
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