#i’m like vanilla icecream in terms of attractiveness

[fucignwimdy]

just went to a conference for gay professionals in my career path and the vibes were INSANE. Like you had community, mentorship, normal business relations but ALSO there’s an unspoken element of horniness - we’re all in our best outfits and it’s rare to have so many openly gay people in a room, especially ones that will travel far away in a few days

and like, if you’re comfortable in your career and know how to avoid conflicts interest go ahead, fuck! I won’t participate because I’m a student and quid pro quo is a big no no for obvious reasons

But all of this flirting is unspoken and under a veneer of professionalism. Which is a nightmare if you’re already bad at social cues and doing your best to cosplay the world’s bestest job applicant

Like, I had a man tell me he was thirsty and I stepped aside so he could get to water bottles behind me, then he was like “no not that kind of thirsty” and winked - so I pointed out where the bar was across the room. “I am so helpful,” I thought, “I am world’s bestest job applicant.”

After he walked away a witness complimented me for so elegantly dodging his flirtations in a polite but firm manner. I had no clue that was the situation, and while it resolved exactly the same way it would’ve had I known, I was genuinely surprised that was what was happening

And there’s other things like people offering to get coffee “or anything else I want” or complimenting my suit and touching my chest, or offering to show the view from their room, which went COMPLETELY over my head until I finally got home. I walked around all day like the most innocently oblivious lil attendee in existence.

But reader, I am not innocent, I literally had a foursome hours before the conference

I’m gonna get tested for autism