#i’m kinda wingin’ it here

[arislore]

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆.˚જ⁀➴ You Take My Breath Away

this is an angst(?) blurb based off the kas!eddie theory if it were to happen in my au that i have yet to write about. peace and love. not proofread or beta read. 499 words.

This movie night was going to be the death of you.

Yeah, it was nice that Nancy invited you over, but you only said yes because you knew she would worry, and when Nancy worries, she smothers. But now you were cold, and all the blankets were in the wash. The popcorn is burnt and the candy melted into one giant ball. And, on top of all that, the VHS player wasn’t working.

“Just the TV on the side,” She said, as if it were that easy.

That was a half an hour ago. Nancy decided to start baking snacks to make up for the candy a little while after. You were kneeling in front of the TV, cursing under your breath every time something happened.

The doorbell rang. You hoped that she called for a pizza delivery, because you were not in the mood to deal with nosy neighbors.

“Can you get that?” Nancy called from the kitchen.

You stood up from your position in front of the TV, walking towards the door and opening it. You gasp, your hand flying over your mouth.

You jog up to the meeting place, counting four people instead of five.

“Max, Lucas, and Erica are in the hospital,” You tell them. “It’s bad.”

“Well, we should go then,” Steve said.

“Hold on… where’s Eddie?” You ask Dustin, your head on a swivel. “Is he okay?”

He looks at you, letting out a soft sob.

“Dustin…” Your hands ball in and out of fists, your breath quickening. “Where is he?”

“He’s gone.”

“Wh…” You pause, your eyebrows furrowing. “How?”

He steps toward you, silent. You return the favor, eyes widening as his fingers wrap around your throat. You cough, clawing at his hand.

“Stop!” You scream, but it comes out more like a whisper.

It’s me! It’s me! I love you, stop!

You felt his skin begin to build up under your fingernails as you clawed at his hand, his wrist, his arm–anything you could grab. His head tilted to the side as his grip tightened around your throat.

“Ed–” You choked, your eyes rolling back.

He lifted you by the neck, your legs kicking wildly.

“Who was it?” Nancy called.

Your foot hit the door, sending it flying into the hall table behind it. Nancy called your name, her voice frantic. You didn’t–couldn’t answer.

The sound of feet running past you and up the stairs barely registered as he lifted you higher, walking into the house another couple steps. Tears streamed down your face, into the crevices of his fingers and your neck.

BANG. BANG. BANG.

You crumpled to the floor, gasping for air. You brushed your hands around your neck, sobbing as you stared at the lifeless body in front of you.

“What the fuck just happened?” Nancy asked, squatting down next to you and putting a hand on your shoulder.

You jumped at the contact, turning to look at her with wide eyes.

“My dead boyfriend just tried to fucking kill me.”

[yourheartinyourmouth]

asking a recruiter abt the fact that the job wants excel proficiency and i am uhhhhhhhh not proficient

did i do an ok job imitating Professional Speak? i’m just kinda improv-ing here

[m1d-45]

ALL OF UR "DERAILS" ARE COMPLETE GOLD IN MY EYES, I LOVE UR THOUGHTS AN IDEAS ABOUT THIS AU DONT EVER APOLOGIZE KING

and omg what u wrote about the corrupted!archons with their limited control and how they hold themself back how their mind and body are disconnected and how they want more of your light but the opacity is down and it feels like their wandering complete darkness with only alternate!creator

I also read this as the alternate creater is reader alternative btw

who do u think in this scenario would help the reader out, if where imagining this as an imposter reader scenario. I like to think that the wanderer or tighnari or maybe Lisa bc id feel like she'd read her books to figure out what's wrong with alternate!creator or why she feels like somethings off (thinking about that maybe alhaitham & cyno too)

speaking about this au, WHAT ABOUT THE TRAVELER AND PAIMON? I mean their the prime vessel so would they be fooled too? or would they help us? is this like a completely worse case scenario with no way out or is their any hope of saving teyvat and it's people?

- 🍄 (I'm sorry if I'm sending too much asks btw, also @ teddy anon sorry for taking ur prompt and running with it, I hope u get back here and talk more with us. also midas your ideas/writings are literally liquid gold their so good pls don't ever apologize for taking inspiration and thinking, I love everything you have brought into this conversation)

1) never apologize for sending asks this is the most fun i’ve had all week 2) rip teddy anon hope you enjoy how we’ve taken it 3) i will always apologize for thinking, it’s kinda my brand /hj

anyway:

i think that, as i said at… some point- that it depends on the fundamentals of the persons faith, at least in this au.

people like cyno, alhaitham, rosaria, candace….. maybe collei but definitely tighnari (don’t ask why there’s so many sumeru characters) are all people i can see praising and praying for the actions of their god. people who pray for the results and not the process, and people i think would be freest of the corruption and most likely to help the reader.

on the flip side, barbara, jean, nahida, and notably keqing would be lore susceptible. they pray for more direct things? almost? idk how to describe it but like- they’re more “please grant us wisdom” or “allow us the strength” or anything that directly relies on the alternate!god, and hence opening their heart to the alternates.

like i… i can’t put it into words quite well, but like- ningguang is one who prays for profits, ganyu is the one who prays for divine guidance, you know? and hence ganyu would fall quicker.

it’s obviously a spectrum, but those closer to the first groups side are more likely to break through and help the reader.

i think…. not solely for plot reasons, but definitely influenced enough by them that i’m mentioning it… kaeya falls solidly in the second group, whilst diluc is firmly in the first.

diluc is the one that prays for a good harvest, for high sales, for the patience to deal with the damned hard in his tavern. kaeya prays for strategic wisdom, for their guidance, for answers when he’s lost and confused and the acting grand master isn’t behaving like she should.

..hopefully that made at least some sense. i’m kinda just wingin it here.

re: the traveller…. i honestly think they’d be treated the same as the archons. if the archons are corrupted, they will be too if the archons are replaced, they will be too. due to the traveller’s relationship with both the archons and the creator, i think the alternate!creator’s hand is a bit forced there. same can be extended to paimon BUT you could have paimon escape since she can pop into a different dimension. and/or they can both live in the teapot as like. vigilantes. idk.

i think that if this were to be written (100% by somebody more knowledgeable about the catalogue than i am) then a pov from one of the archons would be incredibly necessary. either to showcase the sheer power the alternates hold, that they have replaced literal gods, or to shed light on why the archons act as they do, and maybe influence the reader(meta reader, not character reader) and their opinion on them. seeing a blank slate suddenly become full of life at the sight of their savior…. or the archons trapped in some cell, chained down and miserable, lamenting over their mistakes. how foolish they were to trust the one with eyes colder than iron and a grip nearly as strong. how foolish to pray when their soul cried to stop. how foolish, how foolish, how foolish.

and as they sit, maybe one of them begins to pray, unwillingly feeding into the beast that trapped them there.

“o holy creator, maker of light and extinguisher of darkness, the foundation of the earth… please, deliver us from this evil.”

the false god smiles.

WAIT WAIT WAIT ME FROM THE FUTURE HERE:

ADAM DIDNT KNOW HE WAS AN ALTERNATE.

WHAT IF THE FALSE GOD DOESNT KNOW EITHER?

[stormy333]

Single, Taken, or Complex?

The largest cabbage ever grown weighed 125.9 pounds. – The Totally Awesome Book Of Useless Information By Noel Botham

Wow um yeah I used click bait I think? Sorry also not sorry because that book is great and I have no idea if any of it is true or not but it’s still a good laugh! So uh anyways Hi! How are ya’ll? Long time no see I know but a lot has changed for instance I have switched to WordPress and turned 18 and plenty more. But that’s not what today’s post is about. But it’s also not about cabbages LOL sorry Loves! Shall we?

I figured I’d do another challenge kind of? See it’s a 30 day challenge but I may stretch it I’m not sure and I’m also not sure what I’m going to be calling it so kinda wingin it? That’s the whole point though!

Day one: Explain your current relationship.

HA okay I always love this one. I am single and happy, wait no I am in the happiest most roller-coaster (yes I know that’s probably not a word) relationship with myself and with that comes the relationship with God. No wait it’s the other way around. I am in a relationship with God and with that comes the roller coaster of being with myself. I hope that makes sense. See I know someone my person is out there and when we meet I want to be the best version of myself I can be (even if it still needs work once we meet because hey no body is without any flaw). I want to be comfortable on my own two feet and not NEED him but keep him anyway.

So yes, yes I am in a relationship. One that will go on forever and never fails because of two reasons number one also the biggest God doesn’t walk away from you or me and, number two I can’t walk away from myself; I’ve tried. I will focus on me and God and my animals and when the time is right and the stars aline I’ll be here waiting…

Hey so I hope you all enjoyed this post if you did give it a like or even subscribe! I love you all!!!

Hailey Marie

[eudora-euphoria]

EJ Euphoria was invited onto a new podcast called Earworm, with Olivia and Carter, to be interviewed, and this is part of it!

O: So, Kehlani, why a country tour and as a food truck vendor?! Don’t you want to be on stage?  Haha, I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t kinda bummed I won’t be performing, but honestly, I’m enjoying the break. My fans and friends and family know I’ll always make music; but I also love making food! I grew up in kitchens and having to provide for my siblings, so serving people outta a little van is just another love language to me [laughs]. I... honestly, I’m sort of looking forward to just watching the talent. They’re gunna have screens all over so the vendors can watch and stuff. I’m here because I wanna learn from these acts. It would be hard to do if I’m also worrying about my performance, y’know?

O: Haha, right. That makes sense! And honestly, from all the pictures on your Insta, your food always looks so good! Do you find it difficult to maintain your forever-changing menu?  Always! [Laughing...] When I’m in Tampa, it’s easier to keep the same menu for like... I don’t know... a few weeks because I know what that area can provide. I’m looking forward to and dreading changing my menu, but with the way the tour is set up, I’ll have time to go around whatever city we are in and use whatever they have. I just want to promote and support local famers and places because like, we all gotta start somewhere! But I honestly think it would be harder for me to keep the same menu all the time because well, I’m hella indecisive [All three laugh] and like... I’ve worked resturaunts where if you’re out of xyz thing, it almost feels like the kitchen panics and then the customers are upset... I fuckin’ hate that feeling. People should know and will know that my food truck is forever wingin’ it, y’know? [Laughs] It’s comfort food, its fresh food, its everything! I always make sure to have options too, because I don’t want someone walkin’ away because I didn’t have somethin’ vegan, or gluten free, or because I had somethin’ to...I don’t know... ethnic [She rolls her eyes and Olivia and Carter laugh]. My menu always has options... 

C: Makes sense. And honestly I love that idea. You should see me trying to decide what to wear! I don’t think I’d be able to have a set menu either [ laughs]. So this is a pretty long tour... How are you feeling about being away from your daughter this long?  Maaaaannnn it’s gunna be so hard! When she was born, I was still working. I wasn’t in the restaurant anymore, but I was still recording and producing, but the hours were normal. Then, because I saved up enough money, I took a break. I wanted to be there for my daughter. Look, Imma get serious for a second but I swear I’ll pick it back up [ All laughs] Growing up was hard as hell. My mom is a problem. She had kids but never knew how to be a mom. My aunt helped when she could, but my twin and I, being the oldest, took care of our siblings while we were kids ourselves. While mom was out at the bar, or arrested again, or fucked up, or whatever, El and I were feeding and clothing our siblings. We had to grow up kinda fast, but because of this, I wanted to make sure my daughter had a mother that was present. Look, my baby daddy isn’t in the picture, and that is what it is, but I want to be the best mom I can be for her. I had some people come at me like ‘Well isn’t this a version of leaving your daughter?’, ‘Do you really thinking playing chef is a good idea?’ blah blah blah. The difference is, I’m not abandoning my responsibility as a parent; I’m chasing an opportunity. Imma Facetime her every day, you better believe! [ All laughs] I’m on the road makin’ money, exploring new avenues so I can support her. It’s that simple.  O: That is... so sweet. And inspiring!  C: Yeah, can you be my mom? [ laughs]  Haha! After this tour, I might be able to afford more kids! Haha 

[All laughs] C: So, since we got a little serious, how do you feel like your childhood influenced you? What do you want fans to learn from and about you?  Dayum, y’all really like go deep, huh? [ All laughs]  Nah, you’re good. I’m an open book honestly. Well... this is hard. I think if I had to tell anyone anything, don’t let society put you in a box.  I grew up in Brooklyn with a absent mother, no father, and siblings to raise once I was old enough. I’m smart, but people don’t think that because I’m covered in tattoos and I had to drop out. I loved school, but when I was one of the main kids taking care of their own siblings, going to a normal middle or high school wasn’t going to work. My sister and I had to get jobs young because our main source of income wasn’t givin’ enough to us; she was blowing it on new clothes for her or drugs or booze or whatever.  It surprises people when we tell them we didn’t have to strip or sell our bodies. Like dayum! Lil girls can’t learn to hussle without using their bodies?! [Laughs a little] And I’m not shaming that; if that’s what you gotta do or wanna do, do it! And yeah, once I knew my siblings could kinda, y’know, take care of themselves, I finally let myself act out. I’m not gunna sit here and lie to you and your listeners that I didn’t hit hard times. I did drugs, I was arrested twice for dumb shit, I made some dumb decisions... It took two of my friends to make me wake up; one died and one became successful. I was done punishing myself. I didn’t want to end up dead, I wanted to live. So when my aunt moved to Florida, I went with her. I was... like.. 22?  21? By then, my twin was in college nearby and my siblings were doing okay. I could go and finally start my life. Here’s what I’m sayin; I’m a Latina covered in tattoos from Brooklyn with a tough background... People are gunna tell you that you can only able to be and accomplish the bare minimum. I’ve worked in esteemed restaurants and produced albums for some successful people. I learned to surf, I picked up photography, I started performing, I own my own business... There’s nothing you can’t do. If you gotta ask for help, do it, but explore stuff. And not just dropping acid and shit, I’m taking interests. While pregnant, I went to England for the first time because I’ve never been out of the country! People in this world want you to stay down, especially when you’re a woman, or female-presenting, and you’re of color, and if you’re queer... Prove people wrong. Wear all the hats you want. You can be covered in tattoos and be beautiful. Just be yourself! 

O: Hell yeah! Amen to that! And you’re honestly’ such an inspiration. We’ve both been fans for a while and we just love your optimism and your outlook!  C: Yeah it’s hard to tell which direction you’re going to go into next in the best way possible! We love it and we love you!  Haha, thanks! I love you both too and thank you so much for having me! Please invite me back! Y’all so easy to talk to! O: Omigosh, thank you! And absolutely!  C: Go Follow EJ Euphoria on Insta and follow “On a Whim” Food Truck!  O: And while you’re at it, follow the Wide Open Road Tour and see if they’re coming to a city near you! 

[claroquequiza]

i'm late for this and idk if you'll get to this commentary prompt or if someone else asked, but one of my favorite moments in Afterdrop is where Mccree compares Hanzo and his situation to the criminals sent to that island to work, and i was wondering if you could elaborate on that scene!

McCree and Hanzo Get to Know Each Other And Are Instantly Best Friends

He tapped the earpiece. “Shimada here. I have returned to base and completed my security sweep. I can now report.”

“‘Bout time,” the cowboy huffed. “Alright, then Shimada, what did you get up to today?”

Hanzo fought down a sigh before he launched into a detailed description of the day’s activities. This, this was the worst part of his association with Overwatch: having to regurgitate all his movements once daily to his handler , who apparently considered even the smallest detail to be Overwatch business, and all over a channel that may or may not be secure. If it was not, it would be child’s play to track down the former Shimada heir.

Hanzo was found several times in the early years, and it was almost always due to electronic tracking--he had to build up some secret monetary funds to finally escape.

Worst of all, the cowboy seemed perfectly aware of Hanzo’s paranoia. Hanzo prodded at the unopened bentō, feeling his hunger fade and his paranoia rise as the cowboy asked him to clarify exactly where and when multiple times.

“You left ‘bout 1100? Got t’Sado ‘bout 12? Where in Sado? When did you arrive at Watchpoint: Niigata? When did you leave? Got back around 1930, you reckon?” And on and on. At least the fool was not revealing the location of the safehouse over the channel. Or perhaps not so foolish; Hanzo could imagine that would be a step too far in the cowboy’s attempts to discomfit him.

Jesse’s strategy here is to make Hanzo drop the comm and disappear. He knows better than just about anyone how someone knowing and transmitting your location fucks with your head when you’re on the run.

But Hanzo often found ways to return the favor.

“And so, uh, that cleanin’ bot--what exactly did they do with it?”

Hanzo raised an eyebrow, eyes focusing on the long and deepening shadows as the light coming through the window failed. “They charged it through the wall with the induction coils.”

“I know that. For what purpose?”

“To use the cleaning bot to access the servers.” There was silence on the other end of the channel. Hanzo smiled slightly. The cowboy usually asked for clarification to annoy him, and avoided asking when he actually needed clarification.

“How?”

“I do not understand.”

Something clicked on the cowboy’s end. A lighter, perhaps. “How did they use the bot to access the server?” he finally asked. Hanzo’s smile grew.

“Did Agent Winston not explain it to you?”

“He’s a busy ape,” replied the cowboy shortly. “Now I’m wonderin’ if you actually understood what was goin’ on or just wingin’ it.”

Jesse’s a smart man, so I was worried that he might come off as too dumb here, but I figure that Hanzo might have more experience with corporate espionage whereas Jesse is more of a counter-terrorism expert. I look forward to making that a bit clearer in upcoming chapters.

The kettle whistled on the stove. Hanzo held in a hiss and a groan as he stood to retrieve it and pour some water into one of the mugs he’d found in the cabinets. He took this time, swishing the water around to warm the mug before tossing the water out into the sink and refilling it. He settled back into the chair to allow it to cool a little before adding the tea.

I do not make tea correctly. I don’t warm up the mug beforehand, but tea is serious business for Hanzo.

“They charged the bot with the induction charger.”

“I know that, get to the point.”

“The bot powered on and began its usual cleaning cycle.”

He waited.

“And?”

“When it realized it was low on cleaning fluid, it tried to contact the cleaning staff.”

The other end was silent for a few moments. Then the cowboy ground out, “So did it--open the door?”

Hanzo allowed himself to chuckle dryly. “Without power? And would Overwatch be foolish enough to give a cleaning bot authorization to allow access to a Watchpoint’s central servers?”

“Then how, Shimada?” The cowboy’s voice was almost a growl. He did not appreciate any smugness from Hanzo. Hanzo, for his part, was tired and still chilled from the ocean and the wind, and was therefore already ready for the game to end.

“The wifi.”

“Come again?”

“It tried to connect to the Watchpoint’s wifi. When it could not detect it, it searched for any open network, because how could there be an unauthorized open network in range of the server room so deep within the base? The perpetrators merely had to provide an open wifi signal, wait for the bot to connect, and then hijack it.”

I used to work at a cellphone store, and by far the question I got most often from people is how secure WiFi is. I figure it’s a common enough fear that it would make sense to make it the cleaning bot’s downfall, especially since Overwatch was apparently so overly confident that it allowed a rebellion to flourish in its own ranks.

There was a burst of noise on the other end, a forceful exhale. Hanzo could imagine a puff of smoke winding through the air. He wrinkled his nose. “Clever,” the cowboy mused.

“As I said earlier,” Hanzo deadpanned. He heard a sniff.

“By the way, Shimada, I was readin’ up on Sado earlier. Not a popular place now, is it?”

SO. This was kind of an accident! I wanted Japan to be affected by the giant Omnic that regularly attacks South Korea, and it turns out I got the location completely wrong! The kaiju Omnic apparently lives in the East China Sea, rather than the Sea of Japan, so by all rights Hanzo should have been visiting a Watchpoint off the coast of Kyushu or some such. But this mistake worked out well because of Sado’s history, so--mistakes can be good?? I Guess?? I mean, an awful lot of islands were used this way, so I expect I could have found an island in Kyushu that was used similarly, but it turned out to be an awesome metaphor, so yay!

But I did get the game lore completely wrong here.

Hanzo knitted his eyebrows together. “I do not know. I do not know this region well.”

“Well, I was wonderin’ how you liked it. Seems like your kinda place, t’be honest.” Hanzo suppressed a snort, thinking back on the large yet lonely island. The cowboy had had to send the accursed dinghy because the island had become so depopulated in the wake of the Omnic Crisis that it only had ferry service once every two weeks. It was isolated, yes, but there was such a thing as too isolated. Getting his arrows’ components and training equipment there would be a constant nightmare.

I was super excited to explain where Hanzo gets and keeps his equipment, so I dropped a little hint of that here. I don’t know why I love backstory so much, but I do. God help me, I love it.

He stood again to put the tea leaves and strainer in the mug, his prosthetics catching on the irritated skin of his stubs. He grimaced as he hobbled the short distance to the counter. “It was--not to my taste,” he muttered.

The cowboy chuckled. Darkly. Hanzo felt his hackles rise a bit. “Well, that would be part of the reason it’d suit you. It used t’be a popular place t’send exiles. Political figures, poets that said the wrong thing to the wrong people. Criminals.”

Hanzo lowered his hands to his sides, staring at the mug without seeing.

“Even had a gold mine for the criminal element t’find some good, backbreaking work while staying nice and far away from everyone.” The cowboy paused. “Perfect for you, right?”

Hanzo did not reply.

“That’ll be all for today, Shimada.”

And the connection went dead.

And here is the reason for the title of the fic! An afterdrop is a phase of hypothermia where a victim’s core body temperature will often drop after you start warming them up! The reason seems to be that the body stops circulating the blood in the limbs in an effort to keep the blood in the core nice and toasty, and once you start warming the victim up, all that chilly blood in the limbs starts flowing into the core and makes them cold again.

So here, Hanzo is annoyed and frustrated by his circumstances, but hey, he’s at least a little partial to giving tit for tat and trying to hit back at Jesse! But from now on, Hanzo’s not even going to attempt that much. Things get even worse with the disaster at the warehouse and so on, but here is where Hanzo might have started warming up a little--only to get much, much colder.

Thank you so much for the prompt!! I hope you enjoyed it!!

[racingtoaredlight]

RTARL’s NFL Week 2 Extravapalooza

Outside of the Texans-Saints showdown, Week 1 kinda sucked, in my opinion. There were certainly some solid comedy highlights, like the Jets choking, the Lions and Cardinals derping their way into a tie, and the Browns falling on their faces, for example. But, there were also a mess of lopsided affairs and a handful of dismal performances from teams who should be a better. Hopefully, Week 2 will provide us with some nailbiters, and a higher level of quality all around. 

[looks at Week 2 schedule]

...maybe we should keep our expectations low for another week.

Now, onto the picks (they’re terrible, and in bold) and hard-hitting analysis! Lines courtesy of Vegas Insider.

Last week’s record: 6-8-1 

Season record: 6-8-1

Early Games

Indianapolis Colts at Tennessee Titans (-3)

I picked against the Titans last week, and in the process roasted them for their lack of sizzle. I ended up burned, as they cooked the Browns, and rubbed my face in it. After marinating in humiliation for a week, I’m plenty salty at the Titans. That’s why I’m picking them to get smoked by the Colts and their QB Jacoby Brissett, who I affectionately refer to as “Jake Brisket.” I’m going to a cookout later!

Los Angeles Chargers (-2) at Detroit Lions

Last week, the Lions lost a 24-9 4th quarter lead over a rebuilding Arizona Cardinals team. Seems like the kind of game script that would call for them to lean on an exciting and capable young RB, like say, Kerryon Johnson, in order to salt away a victory. The Lions did not do that, and gave Kerryon 16 carries while giving the ancient CJ Anderson 11. Am I an angry Kerryon Johnson fantasy owner who lost his match-up badly last week? I am. 

Did you know that Philip Rivers has an alarming number of children?

Buffalo Bills (-2) at New York Giants

I love Bills QB Josh Allen. Not so much because I think he’s bound for Canton or anything, but because he plays an incredibly entertaining brand of football to me. If you give me a QB whose three options on a given pass play are: A) take off running and seek out a defender to try to plow over, B) throw an absolute rocket with questionable accuracy in the general vicinity of a receiver running a route of intermediate depth, and C) CHUCK IT DEEP, odds are I’m gonna have a good time.

Saquon Barkley deserves so much better than this Giants team.

Arizona Cardinals at Baltimore Ravens (-13)

BIRD FIGHT! In the battle for feeder supremacy, I’m taking the Fighting Lamar Jacksons all day every day. Much like last week, the Ravens seem like such a slam-dunk pick that it makes me wonder if it’s a booby trap set by the football gods. Would they really add a booby to a mix that already includes two other bird species? I dunno, I’m just wingin’ it over here.

New England Patriots (-19) at Miami Dolphins

This is an outrageously high line, especially considering the fact that the Dolphins give New England all kinds of problems in Miami more often than not. But, this year’s Miami team appears to be utterly and completely demoralized ALREADY, and the Patriots aren’t exactly known for taking their feet off the gas when a game is well in hand. 

My worst fear is that New England leaves Brady in during a blowout to try to establish chemistry with Antonio Brown, and he ends up getting injured. Well, that’s my worst fear in terms of this specific football game. My worst fear overall is accidentally getting a papercut on my balls from a cookbook while I’m fixing dinner in the nude, and then getting lemon juice in the cut. 

Dallas Cowboys (-5.5) at Washington Football Team

I’m already excited for the Cowboys to win 11 games, sign Jason Garrett to an extension during the season, and then totally shit the bed in their first playoff game.  

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans (-8.5)

If you think I’m picking against a team led by this magnificent creature, you are mistaken:

Seattle Seahawks at Pittsburgh Steelers (-4)

I’m picking Seattle because they only looked “pretty shitty,” as opposed to the Steelers, who were a hilarious disaster. I don’t want to jinx it, but I think this might be the year things finally implode in Pittsburgh. I’m sure Ben Roethlisberger will handle this potential adversity like the inspirational leader of men he’s always been.

San Francisco 49ers at Cincinatti Bengals (-1)

Boy, that Jimmy Garappolo sure is dreamy! Please don’t watch a single second of this game.

Minnesota Vikings at Green Bay Packers (-3)

I’ve long been an Aaron Rodgers defender, but at this point it almost seems like he’s barely able to tolerate being a professional football player. This is obviously armchair analysis from someone who has no idea what he’s talking about, but he really does seem completely miserable all the time. Whether it’s due to dissatisfaction with the Packers franchise specifically, or if he’s just over the whole football thing is tough to say. The merciless Viking D coming to town certainly won’t help things.

Welcome to our new readers who arrived here after Googling “merciless viking d.” You’ll find your fetish will be accepted here without judgement.  

Late Games

Kansas City Chiefs (-7) at Oakland Raiders

It annoyed me that the Raiders won last week. They’re much more entertaining as a complete flaming wreck than as an unremarkably bad also-ran. I need Mahomes and the Chiefs to whomp them by at least 30 to get things back on track, please and thanks

.

New Orleans Saints at Los Angeles Rams (-2)

Hey, this game looks pretty good! I really had no idea who to pick in this one, as both of these teams are firmly in the “championship contender” tier for me. In the end, I decided that the New Orleans defensive secondary and Drew Brees having Kamara as a pass-rush-neutralizing safety valve was enough for them to overcome the mighty Rams.

Chicago Bears (-2.5) at Denver Broncos

The thought of Mitchell Trubisky having to deal with the Denver pass rush, in addition to Denver having one of the best homefield advantages in the league leads me to believe that the Broncos will win this one outright.

Sunday Night Game: Philadelphia Eagles (-1.5) at Atlanta Falcons

ANOTHER BIRD FIGHT! This time, we’re stepping up to the Raptor Division. When my predictive models are unable to give me a clear pick, I have to go with the team I feel is a bit more talonted. 

Monday Night Game: Cleveland Browns (-6.5) at New York Jets

The Browns need to win this game, not just to keep their season from completely going off the rails, but to keep me personally from dying of laughter if they were to lose to a Trevor Siemian-led Jets team missing two of its best defensive players (C.J. Mosley and Quinnen Williams).

[summerwoodsmoke]

Characters to Whom I Relate

tagged by @drblackgaard who appropriately renamed the meme ;)

i have actually never seen this meme before and have no idea how its usually done so uh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ wingin it! (pretty sure you’re supposed to do pictures but that’s not really feasible for most of these)

i’m tagging @arkvdy @dunnetwins @ninaazeniks @rindoukobayashi @patron-saints @gingahninjah @motherjepsen @lizstanton if you like!

this is embarrassingly largely podcast characters LOL thanks hannah/lily

1. bridget chambers, ars PARADOXICA

you thought it’d be sally, didn’t you? here’s the thing: sally’s ace, yes (YES!) but she’s a scientist, along with like 90% of the aP folks and that is NOT ME.

bridget is a librarian, and i’m going to school to become a library technician, so, of course, but also bridget is in love with esther, so OF COURSE. she’s also in a marriage where she doesn’t have sex with her spouse which is lowkey my dream marriage (altho obviously she does it for very different reasons than i would)

2. emily potter, king falls am

ANOTHER LIBRARIAN. I’M NOT SORRY. emily is so sweet and nice to everybody, no matter what. she’s polite but she’s also firm; she keeps her promises, especially when it comes to work (okay considering how often i’m late to work this may be more of a goal than something i can relate to, but still). she’s close with her mom. she has a hard time moving past the ‘i have feelings for you’ stage of a relationship (except for when she’s being lied to and manipulated YIKES)

3. marinette dupain-cheng, miraculous ladybug

marinette around her crush is how i was around my crush at her age: literally unable to communicate with them. it’s messy PFF

other things: very stubborn, very intolerant of liars and unkindness, affected by fear/anxiety sometimes, confident when she knows what she’s doing, loves her friends, loves being cuddly with her friends, close with her family

more under the cut!

4. antigone funn, wooden overcoats

this woman didn’t go outside for like 17 years and people thought she had died. so, like.

she sticks to routine, she likes her routine, she knows what she has to do and when to do it. it’s good. she wants to do things her way because she’s sure that her way is the Right Way. she’s awkward around the person she likes. she doesn’t like people asking about what she’s reading if she’s embarrassed about it. she gets very eager when she’s accomplished something and wants to share it with people! she doesn’t WANT people to think she’s hopeless and/or dead!

on the other hand, one time someone said ‘we thought you were dead!’ and she replied ‘in many ways i am’ so that’s that.

5. sam barnes, the bright sessions

interested in history and culture. Anxieté. has trouble driving because of it!! (and if that ain’t mE) just wants love, and to be loved. Cat Person. makes money and then kinda just forgets about it because she never goes out and so doesn’t spend much. (i wanna get friend-adopted by an extrovert by chloe too, chloe is an a+ friend)

6. siobhan mcquaid, the story of owen duology

my demisexual music nerd daughter WHOM I LOVE VERY MUCH. she’s a pathological liar which i can’t really relate to but it’s kinda her job?? and i mean i guess i drop white lies like they’re pennies, so there’s that. but she’s a Master Liar.

she is awkward about romance when it comes to herself and completely oblivious to romance when it comes to others (Very Me). she plays the piano and is in band. she loves all the thorskards (hard same). she doesn’t have patience for people’s BS. and Canada’s Winters Suck

7. kaeden larte, ahsoka (the novel)

kaeden lives a simple life, has simple needs. she moms the heck out of her sibling, she enjoys hanging out with her friends after work (she plays crokinole!), she hates the greedy government she lives under, she can be naive in certain situations, she’s got a big ol’ crush on ahsoka tano. All Around Very Relatable

honourable mention: chet whickman, ars PARADOXICA

director whickman leads a very routine, rather boring life. it’s very relatable but i, unlike him, don’t really mind the routine, and he, unlike me, murders people. so.

(i kinda wish i related to ace characters more beyond our orientation but on the other hand im glad theres a variety of ace characters out there. and i love them all to bits, but they just aint Me)

[adayt0fckingremember]

july 28th - 12:45 am

Here I am...having my first mental breakdown at the age of 22. I can’t fall asleep. I can’t stop thinking about my mom. People usually remember my birthday, but this year my phone was silent. It kinda sucks to be quite honest. I thought I’d be gone by now, but here I am. I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing anymore. I’m kinda just wingin’ it. I hope todays not shitty.

[themanwhoran-archive]

Blues & Greens | Harry & Draco

@hawthorneandunicornhair | LAKE THING for the Beyond Black & White verse!  I don’t remember exactly how this challenge went in the books, so I’m kinda wingin’ it here, but let me know if something doesn’t work xD

The details of the challenge were infuriatingly vague, even after he’d decoded the merpeople’s message within the Ornate Egg.  Sure, he had enough information and time to acquire some gillyweed for the trial, and he was still trying to wrap his head around the new revelation that there were actual mermaids in the Great Lake, but none of the contestants knew what they were looking for.  Only that something precious had been taken, and they only had an hour to get it back.

As he stood on the appointed precipice, anxiously awaiting the crack of noise that would launch the Champions into the water, he wondered -- not for the first time -- if color was some kind of unfair advantage.  He’d asked Dumbledore, right after he’d been chosen, in his frantic attempts to find some reason he wouldn’t have to compete in the Tournament, but the headmaster had assured him that there was nothing in the rules that would disqualify him for it, and it was up to the Tournament organizers to make sure that it would not affect the tasks.  And while Harry couldn’t deny that it had not given him any special edge -- knowing the dragons from the first task were red, green, bronze, and black wasn’t actually important, and all the eggs in the nests had been gold -- he stared down at the water and tried to wrap his head around the idea that everyone else actually saw a black lake rather than the deep greenish blue that he saw shining on its opaque surface.

In a much more conscious way than he wanted to realize, he knew that it was unusual that even he was able to see the subtle hues on the water.  He cast a glance around to the spectator seating along the shore, but it was too far away to make out any individual faces.  With so much distance between himself and his soulmate (he refused to think of him by name in such a context), he should only be able to see the brightest of--

When the crack and the cheers cut the air, Harry startled before he jumped into the lake.  His fall was clumsy, and the water was cold!  So cold that he wondered if it wouldn’t take much less than an hour for him to succumb to hypothermia.  He quickly lost track of the other contestants and focused on following the ethereal, chant-like singing that filled the water around him.

To his increasing bewilderment, that wasn’t the only guide he had.  While he had been momentarily distracted by the grindylows, he couldn’t help but notice, as the voices got louder, that the colors got brighter, too.  The blues and greens on the rocks, the plants, the lakebed, took on more layers and shades as Harry swam closer to a mysterious source of light in the colder depths.

It didn’t make sense.  Maybe he was getting closer to the spectator seating -- though he was positive he was swimming further from the shore rather than towards it -- but then--

Then he was face to face with an actual mermaid, and a lot more wary than he would be if they were anything like they looked in the murals.  They let him pass, though, and a burst of adrenaline had him swimming quickly through the path the villagers cleared for him, towards a huge pillar in the center of their gathering.  What could they possibly have stolen from him that he’d have to drag back to the surface?  His invisibility cloak?  His Firebolt?  Surely they wouldn’t have dragged Hedwig down--

But nothing would’ve prepared him for what he actually found tethered to the pillar in the middle of the merpeople’s village.  Not something at all, Harry thought angrily as he swam even faster towards the floating forms of four people, drifting slightly in the mild current.

He saw Cho first, and knew that Cedric was her intended hero.  Knowing that didn’t make his anxiety go away, or the instinct to cut her free and take her to safety.  More urgent than that, though, he frantically swam closer to the other hostages.  If Cho was here, someone even more important to him would be, too...

His heart raced with panic and fury when he reached the next damsel:  Hermione.  He’d barely registered her face before he was diving down to find something sharp to cut the rope with.  His webbed fingers would be no use trying to undo it, and cutting it would be much faster.  As soon as his hands found a sharp enough rock, he shoved off the ground to launch himself back up to the hostages.

But as he started for the rope at Hermione’s ankle, a mermaid soldier was suddenly hissing in his face, forcing him back with the shaft of her spear.  Confused and angry, Harry tried and failed to yell at her, gesturing to Hermione with the rock instead.  With a stern scowl, the guard shook her head and pointed with the end of her weapon to the other two floating hostages that Harry hadn’t identified yet.  He hesitated, but when the mermaid didn’t waver, he set his jaw and turned to swim to them.

Once he knew who the next hostage was, though, he understood why the colors kept getting richer.  A completely different kind of panic raced through Harry’s veins, hot and charged with fear, as he swam to his soulmate. Draco Malfoy was almost hard to recognize at first, wisps of platinum blonde hair drifting around his relaxed face.  Harry had never seen it without ten pounds of product, had never seen his rival’s face look so soft, and he was uncomfortably sure that even if he could breathe, he wouldn’t be.

When he glanced at the soldier guarding Hermione -- irrationally hoping Malfoy was somehow someone else’s prisoner to release -- she gave him a nod, and Harry felt like he’d swallowed a cold stone.  This would certainly be a fun confrontation when Malfoy woke.  He wondered if he could find some more gillyweed and just stay down here forever.

The last hostage was a small blonde girl that Harry didn’t recognize, and he swept his eyes through the water, looking for the other Champions as he worked on the rope on Malfoy’s ankle with the sharp rock.  Cedric came first, and Harry felt little relief when he freed Cho and headed straight for the surface.  At least half the weight of the world lifted off his shoulders when Krum arrived, his head transfigured into that of a shark, to free Hermione.  He still felt angry -- Hermione definitely meant more to him than she did to Krum -- but he didn’t have time to be mad anymore.  Surely their hour was almost up.

He only waited a few minutes for Fleur before he decided to take the little girl with him as well.  The mermaid that had guarded Hermione from him moved to keep him from the last hostage as well, but Harry ducked under the spear and grabbed the girl’s rope anyway.  It was harder, with Draco draped over one of his shoulders, but he quickly realized the the mermaid wouldn’t actually hurt him, so he winced through the screeching hisses and freed the hostage anyway.

He swam frantically towards the blindingly white surface, feeling the sides of his neck itch as the gills shrank.  It seemed so far away, and the weights on his shoulders felt like they would drag him right back down, and then the gills were gone and his lungs burned.  He closed his eyes tight against the sunlight, water pried open his mouth, and he was sure he was about to drown when he finally broke the surface.

There were cheers, and he could hardly hear them through the water in his ears, but he thought they sounded mild and polite.  Of course he hadn’t won the contest, but he wasn’t really bothered by that while he was still trying to catch his breath.  All his muscles felt like jelly, but he turned Malfoy and the little blonde girl over so their heads rose above water, too.  He got no reprieve from his panic when they didn’t immediately rouse.

Somehow, he dragged the hostages to the platform, immediately surrounded by professors and judges and students and a screaming Fleur Delacour.  People were helping him out of the water, trying to talk to him as he panted  harshly and shook the water out of his ears  But his attention was split between Malfoy’s limp body and Dumbledore’s frown.

“Malfoy!” he managed to croak, his voice hoarse from misuse.  He sat up on his knees next to the Slytherin and leaned over to give a few taps to his face with an open palm.  “C’mon, Malfoy, wake up,” he murmured uselessly as his stomach rolled horribly.  He could see color and his soulmate shouldn’t be so pale.

[topicprinter]

TL:DR, young kid, too much success, went insane, moved to a third world country and determined to make a change.Hey guys, my name is Chris. I formally worked as a Chief Technology Officer at a small ad agency in Chattanooga, TN. While small, we had a great team, and I've always had an eye for how to build products. In my 2.5 years there, we built a small saas product, "Terri". Terri's job was to be a marketing agency replacer (in the most blunt way).Most of the money made in the advertising world is made trying to get the most detailed profile on you so that you will be most likely to buy the thing I'm about to show you, and there is a MASSIVE amount of human effort that goes into that. This was absurd in my eyes.Every month large companies spend a budget on marketing (our average client budget spread between $50,000/mo - $600,000/mo) in order to get you to buy more shit. A marketing agencies job is to tell you should spend 10% of that monthly budget on instagram, 15% on email, 40% on content production, etc. They then go through a complex data driven* decision on how much to spend where in what markets ($258 on facebook ads in Chattanooga, TN with the Cool Kidz headline, $786 in NYC with the F U headline... you get it). Needless to say, humans are shockingly bad at making that granular of a plan. Still, its the only way we've known how to do it, so we do.Terri simplified that process by making all the decisions about posting time, venue, budget amount, etc. for you, all you had to do was hit approve. Being driven by math, she was able to avoid typical pitfalls that humans have when looking at mass amounts of complex data to make a decision.Anywho, it worked pretty well, and we were able to start getting recognized... being published by cloudflare in a case study, and being a keynote speaker at Google AMP's mobile conference in February.Although I had always come from a "successful" career past, I was accelerating at a rate I had never experienced before... I can't tell you how to explain that everything just started "clicking"... I actually attribute most of that to starting to accept the bad parts about me as good, thanks to my beautiful wife /u/myult1mateischargingAnyway, that acceleration and rapid success made me want to go faster and faster, and before I knew it I was working on projects that were having sweeping negative societal impacts (ie relevancy algorithms) and it *really* started to get to me. I crashed, and made some crushing mistakes. I didn't take the time to explain my process or what I was thinking, my company didn't understand, and I was kindly asked to be "head innovator" and let the operations be left to the rest of the company.So I did what any normal person would do: sell everything and move to Cambodia with $50,000 in my bank and a goal to use the skills I have for good for once. Terri is a powerful tool, and I'm building Terri 2.0 out here. Although I have ran two companies before, there are many aspects I am completely new to: International Law, dealing with corruption from people with guns, trying to get talent staffing in a third world country, etc.The nice thing is, I've done the "hard part" before. The software is live in production and working, I just need to rebuild it to not stomp on any IP rights, which is honestly kinda nice to start a project anew.It should be an adventure, I plan to share a lot about this journey. Wish me luck!

[lonelybutnotlostsoul-blog]

Long distance Military Relationships....

So I’ve never been a serious blogger, but that might be changing here soon. Frankly, I think it takes too much time and effort. Up until now, I’ve seemingly had it all together with a pretty casual life. I’m almost 20 years old and currently dating a U.S. Navy Sailor... 2 years and counting.

The reason I’ve decided to take to Tumblr again? I’m lonely. My boyfriend left three days ago to head up to Washington, from there he’ll be going on his first deployment. He will only be gone for two to three months at a time with a two or three months being in, or that’s what I’ve been told so far. Things tend to change, but I don’t think this is one of those. Sorry, I’m not that good at being able to keep up with all these things.... All I know is I love him so I’m kinda just wingin’ it for him.

Anyways, so yeah, I’m lonely. He’s gone and I have no idea when the next time I will even be able to see him again. So that is the reason I’ve started this blog, to keep myself busy while he’s away.

It hit me extremely hard the first day he left, after 8 months of living together and getting to see him every night and on his days off (since he was in the schooling part) his sudden absence hit me like a train. Even while knowing this time was coming, I still wasn’t ready. I can’t describe this feeling and honestly, I’d rather not. Instead, I’m going to keep myself busy with this blog and staying positive for the future.

How we ended up meeting is kind of funny.

We both grew up in the same small town out in the middle of nowhere country part of Cali, with a population of 517, yet had no clue each other existed. I lived pretty much right around the block from him and I grew up knowing his father (a rather popular man around town for being a kinda handyman of sorts), but had no clue he had children my age. A daughter who’s two and a half years older than me, as well as a son who’s only two months older than me. 

It took 17 years for us to find each other, on a camping trip. Odd since my mother and his father rarely do anything with each other (not that they don’t get along or anything, they just have different life styles and friends.), but we ended up on a camping trip with them some how anyways.

I met him early July time, knowing he’d be leaving to the Navy in a few months. Honestly, I didn’t expect things to turn into this.

Long story short, we hit it off pretty well. Even after he dropped me in a river on accident, I still make fun of him for that to this day. At the time it was just my mother, my younger brother, and me joining them in camping up at the Sierra Nevada Mountain Range. Joining a rather large group of 4 other adults, two teens, and 6 children. All together it might not have been the most enjoyable camping trip I’ve ever been on, but I had fun with the other two teens. Not knowing that I’d be best friends with one and dating the other.

After the trip, everything went back to normal and I figured I probably wouldn’t ever talk to them again. A few days later Johnny (15 years old at the time) added me into a group chat on Facebook with J (my future boyfriend), who was gone again on a summer camp thing for Eagle Scouts. Johnny and I blew up his phone with messages while he was away, a nice surprise for J when he came back into data range.

It all just ran together. For the first few weeks, I mainly talked to Johnny or in group chat (since I still wasn’t really talking much to J, I hit it off better with Johnny who is one of my best friends now). But soon J and I ended up texting, like all the time. It happened all at once, I don’t even remember how. In a few short weeks, we were texting from the time we woke up until bed time. Goodnight and morning texts flew by and so did the days we spent hanging out. Down at the river bottom outside of town, going for walks, hanging out at the small middle school playground, we did everything this small town could offer before eventually venturing out farther to like the beach and hikes.

Almost every day for the remaining month of summer was spent together, growing closer to the day he would be leaving for basic training (aka boot camp). By the end of September I was hopelessly hooked, when we were at his Mom’s going away party for him I ended up breaking down and crying outside with Johnny. He had already seen it coming I guess, evidently a lot of people had actually. Somehow I managed to pull it together and go back in to enjoy the rest of my time with him, the thought still pretty heavy on my mind.

He was leaving in a few weeks and after he got out of boot camp he’d go away and forget all about me because I was just that girl. Like a sappy story: girl falls for a guy, guy doesn’t know doesn’t care, guy leaves to climb up in the world, girl gets left behind and forgotten and spend the rest of her life in the same old rut of a small town. Right? Skylar Gray’s song “Tower” was on repeat in my head the whole time, not even joking.

The next weekend was his father’s going away party for him, he normally does things separately with them since his parents are divorced. This was when everything completely switched for me, for us. At the party, before everyone had arived there, a small group of us were hanging out upstairs. Johnny, J’s sister, J, and I. J and I had just walked in the room, standing rather close I guess. I’d gotten pretty used to being so close to him, I’d nearly be touching him. Not purposely, just without even thinking.

“So, are you two together yet?” The words fumbled out of Johnny’s mouth before he could stop them, he honestly hadn’t meant it to.

J and I kinda froze and looked at each other, I was so afraid of his answer. Neither I would have been satisfied with. “No” would have hurt more than ever, but if he had said “yes” I would have sternly said no and walked out. Bad experience with an ex in the past; my mother had asked him and he just answered yes, when honestly we weren’t even close to that.

Thankfully neither of those happened, something else did. Something that I respect so much to this day, I’d never had it before. Instead of answering, J nudged me out into the hall around the corner. I found myself leaning against the wall with him a little too close, or it felt that way at least. I was so nervous I couldn’t breathe or even think straight, I liked him so so so much. He was just as nervous as me, if not more. He kind of fidgeted and stumbled over words, looking back now it still makes my stomach feel all fluttery and bubbly.

“I’d like to,” was all he said. My heart felt like it was in my throat, I nodded. It was all I could do, I was nearly in tears and I still couldn’t breathe right. He smiled and asked if I really wanted to be his girlfriend, if possible getting even more fidgety. Of course, I did, I’ve liked him since I felt met him. I told him yes and bam, that’s how we started dating. A week before boot camp. It made him so happy, I was his first girlfriend. He was 18 years old but had been friend zoned all through high school, I was his first. (First everything, what a heavy weight to carry right? Like what if I wasn’t all he’d expected right? Like the first kiss and anything sexual is always a big thing people talk up, I didn’t want to disappoint.)

I was his first kiss.

We went on our first date, to the movies and after we got Starbucks and hung out at a small park while it was dark. I guess he tried to kiss me, I obviously hadn’t noticed and moved away. He thought I did it on purpose trying to avoid it, but I didn’t. After we’d been dating for a while he told me this and I felt really bad after. Our first kiss was a teary and boogerfull one, one that lead to many more. We didn’t kiss until the day before he left, he kissed me while I was in the middle of crying. First off it started that I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, I hate people seeing me cry. I hate it so much. But he forced me to look up at him and then kissed me, it wasn’t very smooth but he did better on the second kiss.

He left for boot camp in October, and it was one of the hardest things I’ve even been through. It’s the second hardest I’ve ever cried. I texted him while he was on his way to the airport, then when he landed in Chicago later the evening. It would be the last I talked to him for like two months, going from talking and hanging out almost every day to him being over 2,000 miles away with almost zero contact at all. I’d never had to go through something like that. It was always just a movie thing, that cute couple thing I never thought I’d be doing. How did I end up in a military relationship??

But once the letters started coming in and going out, it got a little better. I managed to keep myself busy somehow and the next thing I knew I was on a plane to Chicago, Illinois. For his boot camp graduation, he’d made it through and I was invited to travel all the way to watch his class ceremony. I’ve never done much traveling, much less without a family member by my side. So going with his sister and mother alone kind of scared me, I’d only barely met them once or twice and hadn’t really spent much time actually talking with them. (Later I’d grow to love them both so much, they’re both amazing people. His mother has done so much for me and him, I think she is an amazing person I wish I could be more like her for him.)

I found out Johnny was joining us as well as Braden’s mother and little sister, Braden being J’s best friend for high school who’d also joined the Navy at the same time. J and Braden had been in the same class group, so that was pretty cool. I got to meet Braden’s little sister, Hannah. We had a pretty good time in Chicago, even went ice skating (I am not a fan!).

From there both J and Braden were sent to a program in South Carolina, where they spent almost a full year. Braden ended up being sent to another place, he was pretty happy to be there. 

8 months ago J finished the first part of the school, so I flew over with his mom and stayed after she left. From there he went into the second part, which he’d graduate from July 7th, 2017. I have to say that I’m so proud of him, I know I never would have been able to do what he did.

Looking back now.... We started dating a week before he left to boot camp, some people thought I was crazy. For a while, I secretly wondered if they were all right and maybe I was crazy. He could cheat on me, with all those ladies who chase men in uniforms... But two years later, no regrets and still as happy as ever. I couldn’t be happier, even though he had to leave for now. I can’t wait to see him again, I plan on making that happen soon. We’ve had our ups and downs, but all together we can make it through it.

I’ll have to write about the road trip from hell sometime, that was the trip coming home having to move all our stuff from a small apartment here so he could go to Washington. Worst. Trip. Ever.

Altogether things worked out, we made it home, and now he’s half way to Washington. We’ll see how this blog thing works out for me.

P.s. to any military girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, or husband out there reading this: Please stay strong, I know its hard but it’s well worth it.

-I am a Navy girlfriend and I am so proud of my sailor

[marklipinski]

ARTspiration

Artists or art that turns me on and feeds my soul.  This piece is called FIRST CLASS by James Rieck, painted in 2016.  It’s 84″x60″ oil on canvas and its current price is $24,500

  YOKE DU YOUR

A father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody lies around it. The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?”

Son: “Yeah.”

Detector: “Beep.“

Son: “OK, OK, I went to a movie.”

Detector: “Beep.”

Son: “Alright, I was drinking beer with my friends.”

Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!“

Detector: “Beep.”

Mother laughs: “Ha ha ha, well, he really is your son!”

Detector: “Beep.”

DESIGNspiration

Look around you. Design is everywhere! How can you incorporate the beauty that surrounds you into your art or craft?




IDEA I LOVE

I LOVE this folded felt bag.  When Jodie and I were filming Quilt Out Loud, we shot an episode from Brooklyn General Store in, of course, Brooklyn. They had an amazing selection of heavy felt and I’m sorry, to this day, that I didn’t buy some while I was there.  Here’s the tutorial for making this Fold Up Felt Bag (which I think is perfect for holding craft supplies):

http://www.instructables.com/id/Fold-up-Felt-Bag/?ALLSTEPS

EMBROIDERYspiration! 

Who doesn’t long for “Home Sweet Home” (especially when everything seems to be utter chaos)?   Settle in and embroider this easy and colorful pillow.  It’s the next best thing (or in my case, even better than) ever going back to Mayer Drive! :)   Here’s the tutorial:

http://www.homedit.com/embroidered-throw-pillow/

YUMMY DISH!

Thai Beef Stew with Lemongrass and Noodles

Ingredients

lemongrass stalks

garlic

kaffir lime leaves

chopped peeled ginger

Thai chiles

boneless beef chuck

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

vegetable oil

star anise pods

cinnamon stick

reduced-sodium soy sauce

fish sauce (such as nam pla or nuoc nam)

light brown sugar

unsweetened coconut flakes

shallots

carrots

scallions

wide rice noodles

Lime wedges

FOR THE FULL RECIPE, CLICK HERE  http://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/thai-beef-stew-lemongrass-noodles

  IDEA I LOVE

I’m kinda hoping that using this skin-loving, winter-hating coconut oil lotion bar won’t eat away your nail polish … I’m also hoping that the manicure above isn’t a new trendy fashion statement.  If the cold winds has your skin stinging and singing “How Dry I Am” then you might want to whip up a few lotion bars for yourself (wear gloves?!?).   Here’s how:

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Coconut-Oil-Lotion-Bar

BREATHLESS INSPIRATION 

Needlepoint artist, Ulla Stina Wikander of Sweeden, transforms old items and transforms them into needlepoint art by covering them in gorgeous needlepointed designs.  Take a look.  For more, here is a link t0 her website:  http://www.usw.se/konst/index.htm

SO DRINK, CHUG-A-LUG CHUG-A-LUG

WILLIAM FAULKNER’S HOT TODDY RECIPE

Faulkner’s niece gives directions for making his version of this hot wintry cocktail.

“Pappy alone decided when a Hot Toddy was needed, and he administered it to his patient with the best bedside manner of a country doctor. 

He prepared it in the kitchen in the following way: Take one heavy glass tumbler. Fill approximately half full with Heaven Hill bourbon (the Jack Daniel’s was reserved for Pappy’s ailments). Add one tablespoon of sugar. Squeeze 1/2 lemon and drop into glass. Stir until sugar dissolves. Fill glass with boiling water. Serve with potholder to protect patient’s hands from the hot glass.” 

Pappy always made a small ceremony out of serving his Hot Toddy, bringing it upstairs on a silver tray and admonishing his patient to drink it quickly, before it cooled off. It never failed.

Ingredients

Bourbon

Sugar

Lemon

Boiling Water

For original resource, CLICK http://literaryman.com/2012/09/25/faulkners-hot-toddy-cures-everything/

IDEA I LOVE

Sorry, you’re going to have to live with the bags under your eyes and crow’s feet that can hold a 3-day rain.  But if you want to get rid of wrinkled clothing without ironing, try this simple DIY Wrinkle Release Spray.  Here’s how:

http://www.popsugar.com.au/smart-living/DIY-Wrinkle-Release-Spray-42366839

WORDS TO LIVE BY

   IDEA I LOVE

Gather your indigo blues and make a patchwork clutch with sashiko!  Look, I know what traditional sashiko is.  I think I might up the ante of this generous tutorial and start mixing different colored threads, and even fabrics to make this project “my own.”  Start here for wonderous inspiration and for the tutorial:

http://www.lindseycrafterblog.com/2017/01/make-patchwork-clutch-with-sashiko.html]

MAN CAN LIVE BY BREAD ALONE!

MARZIPAN TWIST SWEET BREAD

  Ingredients:

Dough: milk sugar yeast flour salt butter lemon egg

Filling: almonds eggs sugar water almond extract

Glaze: powdered sugar, sifted emon juice water 

For the full recipe CLICK HERE:  https://cookiescakespiesohmy.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/dscn06802.jpg

MEMBA?

Formica kitchen tables . . .

And now a word  . . .

Now that the weather is cool, I’m heading back upstairs to continue clearing out my studio.  Get first dibs on all of my eBay listings when you follow the  Pickle Road Stash Busting page on Facebook!  Here’s the link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/PickleRoadStashBusting/

I also started a YouTube page and will, eventually be doing some live broadcasts and probably a few online classes there.  I will be uploading all of the Facebook Live videos to my channel first (and adding retroactive links to this blog).  I already have some uploaded and am working backward — hopefully, I can organize them later. Then, I’ll think about creating and adding original content.  Please subscribe to my channel, here:   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeWRvfCwPVqbXXvphw6bsVg

If you missed the last Facebook LIVE, you can watch it here…

If you’d like me to address anything, comment or answer any specific questions on my live feed, please just email me and I’ll get right to it.  Email me at pickleroadstudios@me.com

COOKIES!

BUTTERMILK COOKIES

Ingredients

For cookies

all-purpose flour

grated lemon zest

baking soda

salt

unsalted butter

granulated sugar

eggs

pure vanilla extract

buttermilk

For glaze

confectioners sugar

buttermilk

pure vanilla extract

FOR THE FULL RECIPE, CLICK HERE  http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/buttermilk-cookies-241199

LOL

JUST BECAUSE, I SWOON 

This is a superb and early example of the brilliant Marimekko textiles that were made into simple clothing that went with the Marimekko lifestyle brand. The Marimekko company was founded in 1951 by Armi and Viljo Ratia and they quickly became known for making pieces of boldly printed fabric. The label on this dress dates it to the late 1960s and it is very unusual and striking in its cut. It is cut slim through the shoulders and then expands with a massive amount of volume from there. The sleeves mimic this with a narrow shoulder and then end in a wide cut sleeve. Both the hem of the dress and the sleeves are cut in gentle curves with the front portions of each significantly shorter then the back. The effect if these giant curves against the sharp angular print is genius. It is an amazing piece of fashion history. $625.00

IDEA I LOVE!  CROCHETspiration

This is called the OH MY crocheted blanket.  What a pretty stitch and the colors take me away from snowy Pickle Road to the beaches of San Juan, one of my favorite getaway places.

FOR THE FREE PATTERN, CLICK ON THE LINK:   http://www.mooglyblog.com/oh-my-blanket/

  BE DAZZLED!

  Chaumet Hortensia ring in pink gold, set with rubies, pink sapphires, diamonds, red tourmaline drops and an 8.6ct round faceted pink tourmaline in the centre.

PATCHWORK, BABY!  QUILTspiration!

WINGIN’ IT QUILT

Adapted from a Quilt Designed by Sandra Clemons for McCall’s Quilting

This free queen size quilt pattern is super easy and fast to piece! The Diamond Panes quilt blocks go together quickly and give an illusion of sashing when set together. Don’t miss the Wingin’ It lap quilt pattern in the McCall’s Quick Quilts��issue

Download the FREE Wingin’ It queen size quilt pattern.

SHOEspiration

Don’t judge . . .

  IDEA I LOVE! VALENTINEspiration

Just about 4 weeks until Valentine’s Day. That means you have enough time to have this ‘Encircled Love’ mini-quilt table topper pieced and then actually quilted by Valentine’s Day 2037.  Here’s the tutorial:

http://kittensandthreads.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/EncircledLoveMiniQuiltPattern.p

IDEA I LOVE!  KNITspiration!

LOVE this KNITTED afghan worked in the Slip Stitch. The waffle weave it creates is perfect for the men in your life. The color choices here are terrific, too. No, we don’t need another Granny Square and/or Clam Shell stitched blanket, but thanks for asking.  Here’s the PDF pattern:

https://www.michaels.com/on/demandware.static/Sites-Site/Sites-siteCatalog_michaels_US/default/v1411505193064/project_pdf/54711_revised.pdf

GARDENspiration

This little fairy cup garden is super cute and easy to take care of (that is, if you’re not packing it with orchids).  It’s also an amazing little gift for a hostess, a sick friend, birthday surprise, or a just because I’m thinking of you.  Here’s how to make one:

http://www.thecraftaholicwitch.com/2016/08/20/create-a-cute-cup-garden/

MUST HAVE

Are there words for this? Are there?  Words?

Well, I don’t care. I don’t even have a cat and I want this handicat kitty finger puppet.  And it’s on sale.  Get yours here:

http://www.perpetualkid.com/handicat-kitty-finger-puppet/

IDEA I LOVE!

So you’ve spent a crap-load of dough on making a new quilt, to match your room.  Why not use your scraps to cover your switch plate for a total custom look?  All of your friends will be green with envy and begging you for the name of your decorator.   Start here:

http://tidymom.net/2010/fabric-covered-switch-plate-tutorial/

IDEA I LOVE

This DIY Coiled Rope Tassel Bowl would be great for holding all of your crochet hooks, rug-making hooks, spools of threads, notions or small rulers. Filling anything with ‘power bars’ is so foreign to me that it confused me. I mean, when you’re on a diet, don���t you eat all of them at one time?   Here’s how to make a rope bowl so you can put what you want in it:

http://fallfordiy.com/blog/2017/01/06/diy-coiled-rope-tassel-bowl/

IDEA I LOVE

Move your weave so you can hear me!  THIS PROJECT LOOKS LIKE HUGE FUN. Here’s how to make your own DIY woven scarf without a loom!  It’s like magic.  Here’s where you start:

http://www.hefty.co/dyi-woven-scarf/

DESSERT!

CLASSIC LEMON MERINGUE PIE

January 23, 2017 is National Pie Day

Ingredients

all-purpose flour

salt

shortening

cold water

FILLING:

sugar

cornstarch

all-purpose flour

salt

water

egg yolks

butter

grated lemon peel

lemon juice

MERINGUE:

sugar

cornstarch

cold water

egg whites

vanilla extract

FOR THE FULL RECIPE, CLICK HERE  http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/classic-lemon-meringue-pie

IDEA I LOVE

The first time I saw a truly remarkable piece of Mexican yarn art was in the design studio of Karen Kay Buckley (I hope I’m remembering correctly).  I remember thinking then, “I wonder how they did that?”   This piece is super easy, elementary, and fairly uninspired, but, Oh cupcakes, imagine learning the technique then soaring with your own creative interpretation.  Learn the fundies here:

http://www.zombieswearinghelmets.com/2011/06/paint-with-yarn.html

 IDEA I LOVE

Judging from what I’ve been seeing online, it seems like avocados are the new trendy thang. I have to be honest, I would NEVER paint on a new shirt (unless I found it super cheap and then 75% off) but I would get a second-hand store blouse or shirt to customize.   Why look like everybody else?  Do your own Project Runway unique design challenge. Start with painting and changing buttons here:

http://studiodiy.com/2017/01/12/diy-avocado-buttons/

PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD

If you’re liking this blog Please tell your friends about it! I’d really appreciate it!  

Just cut and paste this into an email or post on your Facebook and Twitter pages:  

I LOVE this blog and think you will, too! Check it out:  https://marklipinskisblog.wordpress.com

PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT

PLUS . . . Recipes, Videos, Inspiration, Creativity, Ideas, and More!   ARTspiration Artists or art that turns me on and feeds my soul.  This piece is called FIRST CLASS by James Rieck, painted in 2016.