#i’m hoping to get to wms before i have to leave. fingers crossed

[pjsk-story-summaries]

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR WHAT YOU'RE DOING!! It's incredible and so appreciated aa, have a great day!

thank you for the kind words!! i’m glad you’ve found this helpful :) a great day to you, too!!

[jleonjackson]

FUN THINGS TO DO AT WALMART

I'm going to be ahead of the game and let you all know in advance that not all of these little idess are of my invention but a lot of them are. Still, it was my idea to put them all into s nice, neat little collection. So if you've happen to have heard of some of these before, don't stress out: just enjoy them. ​ ​I'm sort of the original prankster a long time YouTube was ever invented which tells off on my age somewhat. Actually, my younger girlfriend says that I was around when the Dead Sea was just sick! And being of the older cross section of the population, nobody really expexts something like this from me although I HAVE been asked to leave the store on more than one occasion.  And the fact that nobody sees me in the light of a prsnjstrr makes the play out even more enjoyable. ​ ​So without further ado, allow me to to share my favorite FUN THINGS TO DO AT WALMART! One of the things that also helps the overall thing more of a surprise is that I always wear nice clothing: a pair of dress pants, nice shirt and shoes, and if the occasion presents itself, a tie. MANY years ago I was the director of public safety for a small town. I had just been appointed to the position and was still under contract with another agency where I was generally working undercover. Hence, at the time I shall recount, I was sporting a beard of sorts and long hair which I kept pulled back in a ponytail. One one particular evening, I took it upon myself to get the patrol cars and equipment cleaned, including new ammunition for the squad shotguns. Fairly late in the afternoon, I went to the Walmart in a nearby town and after looking around the store for a bit made my way to the sporting goods area. After finding a clerk, I asked for 6 boxes of double ought buckshot which, for those of you who aren't familiar with the guage, let's just say anything hit with such a load generallyis pretty much torn to shreds. So yhe clerk looked around and advised me that he was out of that guage and offered something different. "No but thanks. I have to have the heavy shells." I replied. After scratching his chin for a moment he looked at me strangely. "Five boxes of buckshot! That's sort of unusual for us. What exactly are you planning on shooting?" He asked. Without looking up from my surveying the stuff in the glass counter, I simply replied : "People." So his face turned a little ashen and he said he would check in the stockroom for my shells which I knew was a ploy to get the hell away from me! And, when he FINALLY returned, he was accompanied by 2 rather large police officers from their local department. I suppose it was lucky for me that one of the cops recognized me snd just shook his head. Still, and needless to say, I didn't get the shells. Now in today's societal climate, I wouldn't necessarily say this is exactly a safe prank. But on the other hand... And sometimes I'm a tee-shirt kind of a guy but not just any tee-shirt will do. I have one that is imprinted with "Cat: The other white meat" and on the back it says: So many cats, so few recipes." A lady from Walmart once asked "Aww, you really don't eat cats, do you?" "Nahh," I replied. "I gave them up for Lent. Besides, Chihuahuas are less greasy." Speaking of eating, one evening close to Halloween I put dark circles under my eyes and walked into a Walmart carrying a rather large black stuffed crow by the legs. I had removed the stuffing from it earlier and  filled it with chicken from the Colonel, poured in a bit of ketchup, and while I was walking around the store I was reaching into the stuffed bird and pulling out chicken, eating and allowing the ketchup to smear on my mouth. As I recall, that was one of the times I was asked to leave the store. It wasn't all that close to Halloween for such pranks I was told. "Pranks?" I asked. "I was just having a snack while I was shopping!" While we're on the subject of food, carry some toothpicks in your pocket ss you browse the live fish area.  In MY case, I prefer to do this late in the evening about the time the tanks sre being cleaned or serviced. I would ask what they did with the dead fish floating around. "Ummm, we generally just throw them away. Why?" "Can you give them to me in a little container?" I would ask. "Oh. Are you going to take them home for a pet or something?" At that point I would pull out s few toothpicks and hold them up. "Nah. I just wanna munch on them while I'm shopping. I LOVE sushi!' Although I never was actually given any of the little floaters, I have gotten quite a few really strange looks! Priceless! There are a few things that you can do when there are several people around, especially in sporting goods. Ask the clerk to let you examine one of the shotguns in the display case. After he hands it to you, take your time and look it over while asking intelligent questions about it. Sooner or later there will be an announcement over the p.a. system and it's at this point I will suddenly jerk the gun up to my shoulder and aim in in a side to side motion st the ceiling. "There's those damned voices again! QUICK!! Give me some bullets!" People will generally back away and leave the area, if not the store, entirely! Some of these little pranks you should really be careful with because there's a slimest of a chance things won't go as you expected it to go! But what the hell? Spice adds a little zest to life. And I'm sure that you've probably heard about the man and woman at the clothing try-on closets. The man goes inside one of the rooms and after s few minutes he yells out in a really hick voice: "Edna! Could you please run over and grab me some toilet paper? Ain't none in here!" One of the things that I like to do is leave little notes in the pockets of the clothes. Something like: "Help! I'm being held captive by inspector 21!" or, "What were you expecting to find here, money?" Sometimes I might leave a note on a sheet of paper that goes like this: "Hi! My name is Paper. I've been watching you everywhere you go, hoping for the chance to talk to you! Mmm... I love the way you're holding me and caressing me between your thumb and fingers! Don't stop! You're making my ink run! Look, you know that you want me! I can feel your warm breath all over me! So why don't you roll me up into a ball and put me in places no paper has ever gone before! Or gently fold me into any shape that makes you go wild with passion! Just, I'm not into the kinky things like staples or paperclips! Just thinking about you is making my margins wet! Don't worry. I'm not a gossip column so our secret will be safe! Hurry baby!" Of course you can place this in various places around the store such as in a magazine, in a pair of women's jeans, in a package of panties, well, you get the idea. The library is also a good place to pull this off. I recall one evening a terribly rude customer in the produce and vegetable arra was being very snotty to one of the female associstes in the area, to the extent that the girl was almost in tears! I quickly pulled a condom from my wallet (hey, I'm old. I'm not DEAD!!) and surreptitiously removed a cucumber from the lady's cart. The clerk saw what I was doing but didn't say anything. After putting the condom into the cucumber, I placed the cucumber back into the cart, hidden beneath the other groceries. I walked away, past the girl who was getting yelled at and whispered "Follow her to the checkout for the real fun!" The girl did exactly that and I'm sure that she was trying not to laugh hysterically as the lady was trying to explain the condom covered cucumber to the cashier! The old man and the little girls panties. My girlfriend has a twisted sarcastic sense of humor kind of like mine. In Walmart one evening, she was browsing the clothing chemicals, specifically the dye, when aa associate asked if he could help her. be Without missing a beat, she glanced at him and shrugged. "I don't know. See, I bought a cat today and I was looking for like a multicolored calico cat but all I could find was a cute white kitten. So my question is, do you have something that would be groovy for a tie dye look? Especially something that won't fade out in yhe dryer?" The associate had a surprised look on his face and shook his head. "Are you serious? You can't tie dye an animal like that! Don't you know that you cannot put a live cat in the washing machine or dryer?" She giggled a bit. "Well duh! I was talking about a STUFFED cat! I found out that you can't tie dye a live animal when I tried it with my hamsters!" She rolled her eyes and walked off, leaving him standing in the aisle in disbelief. The particular store back in the town where I recently lived was generally quiet in the evening. There were restrooms to the back of the store in the layaway area which seems like they were never really cleaned very well so one evening my girlfriend and I grabbed a few things from the store: candles, incense, hand towels, lava lamps, and some bathmats, and when nobody was watching we slipped into the restrooms and proceeded to remodel them somewhat. In less than 15 minutes we completely changed the decor of the restrooms to quiet, subdued elegance. Luckily, nobody walked in on us but there was something of a commotion emanating from the p.a. system before we finally left the store! I once purchased a set of frss walkie talkies and while I was fiddling with them in the parking lot of Walmart while I was waiting for my girlfriend to finish her shopping, I realized that these were essentially the same two-way radios that the WM managers used in the store. Suddenly something came over me and I couldn't resist the temptation: "We have a code pink in the men's wear! Code pink in the men's wear area!" After a brief silence someone asked for a repeat. "Excuse me: We have a code RAINBOW in men's wear!" I replied. My girlfriend emerged from the store finally and looked at me. "Something tells me that you had a hand in that!" Of course, there probably are now several people running around the store trying to figure out who had the extra radio. They changed frequencies occasionally after that but I managed to figure them out in quick time. I found out that several drive-thru restaurants likewise have the same radio system which they use for the wireless units at the take out windows! "Hello? Is anyone there? I want 5 Big Macks, 3 chocolate shakes, and a dozen apple pies please!" Sitting across the street from the restaurant I watched and chuckled as heads popped out of the drive-thru windows and out the back doors to see who was making the order! It's interesting to drive around and see how many restaurants use these radios. Too bad the batteries aren't rechargeable! Anyway, I'm sure that you can relate to some if these and even have a few of your own. Just don't say that I put you up to it!

[letters-from-paradise]

My Journey With Books

We recently enjoyed the hospitality of some dear friends of many years. Shortly after we left, they wrote to me …

We were inspired and uplifted by your energy and hope for the new adventure that is ahead of you. We have felt quite worn out recently . . . There is a sense of having lost our deep connection and strength from God. It feels a long way off, still there, we ‘know it’ but recently feeling it and drawing upon it just isn’t happening. We know spending time in Gods word would make such a difference. And we were wondering what you might recommend to read, or a study to do, something that would give us a new focus, on Gods awesomeness, reminding us that He is our centre and giving us that mental focus and spiritual connection. Something that we just want to dive in to, to look forward to each morning/evening. We’re not sure where to even start, a topic that has been on our minds is gratitude. We hoped contained within your wealth of reading, a book or study might jump out as a suggestion.

Once I’d written a response to them, I thought that what I shared might be helpful for someone else - maybe you. 

What I wrote was a narrative of my spiritual journey of the past ten years, and the books and authors Jesus gave to walk me into a wonderful renewal of my heart for God and people. Here’s my reply …

As I write some of my story, I will mention authors and books that have provided wonderful vigour and spark to my walk with God and with people - in this way I will be recommending the resources that have most touched me, and as you read, the Holy Spirit may just make something stand out to you, as being right for where you are on your journey.

You will find that most of this story and the books that I’ve journeyed with are about seeing the loving Father - his goodness, love and grace - in scope and magnitude and wonder that I had not ever seen before. And they are about how these life changing visions of God have flowed down and renewed my love for Him and for people, and restored wonder back into my own life.

Wm Paul Young

About ten years ago, after some resistance to the idea, I picked up a copy of The Shack by Paul Young. After working through the first chapter or two I came to a part that stopped me in my tracks! The scene was of a man with a great sadness in his life, and some serious anger at God, being embraced enthusiastically and unconditionally by Papa (the authors name for the heavenly Father). It became my own moment of God-embrace, and set off an experience in the love of God … that I hope will never end!

Not only that, but the author surprised me with characters depicting the Trinity that shook my previous imaginings of what God was like to the core. A deliberate ploy by the author to shake us (or maybe just me) out of familiarity with a (too small and predicable) God, to enable this One who St John called “love” to be reimagined and embraced again. And I walked in the glow of this book for months to come.

C. Baxter Kruger

Soon afterwards my eldest son, Toby, introduced me to another author - C. Baxter Kruger. Baxter is an American Theologian whose passion is to reveal the Trinity and God’s love for us and his plan to reconcile a fallen world to Himself. At that time Baxter had started touring with Paul Young, and it was said that Baxter wrote about the theology behind Paul’s allegory, The Shack. Interestingly, they had never met before The Shack was published.

Happily, Baxter’s books are around just 100 pages in length, but packed with a powerful love-soaked message that just blew me away. God is for us was the first of Baxter’s books I read and I loved it: commencing with an unforgettable explanation of St Paul’s astonishment that God had included us in Christ’s resurrection and ascension. Soon I was reading The Great Dance and all the rest of Baxter’s books. Jesus and the Undoing of Adam  was breathtaking! 

As much as anything I was re-learning about the Cross of Calvary, and how God revealed himself there and took us into his saving plan. 

It was just what I needed, because my knowledge of God and His things had become stale and stalled - there was no longer any freshness or progress in my understanding. 

On top of my still current experience from The Shack, Baxter’s books were wonderful!

Rob Bell

By the time I picked up Rob Bell’s book Love Wins I was already comfortable with the art of asking questions, for in finding that which was fresh and new and reinvigorating to me, required questioning some of the old ideas I’d once held. That’s what ‘Love Wins’ was for me, it was permission to keep asking questions. As Rob found out, not everyone likes that, especially if it’s about a sacred cow you’ve protected all your life. 

The questions don’t always lead people to the same answers, but like Rob, I found they led me to see love and to see God through a wonderful new lens.

I’ve read a number of Rob’s books since then, and his podcasts (called the Robcast) have always inspired. What We Talk About When We talk About God and What is the Bible? are two excellent offerings from this master communicator. And, yes, I did get to meet Rob in Auckland just a few years ago.

More from Paul and Baxter

A few years into this journey two really good things happened. First, Baxter wrote his book about Paul’s book, and named it The Shack Revisited. He gave it a tantalising sub-title: ‘There is More Going on Here than You Ever Dared to Dream’. In this book Baxter helped explain the Biblical truths undergirding Paul’s allegory of the Trinity and how a shattered human can find healing and transforming love. I was so taken by this book that I bought a copy for every couple in our church - most of whom were already ‘Shack’ lovers.

The second good thing that transpired was an opportunity to host Paul Young and Baxter Kruger in Auckland … together! 

So in January 2014 Suzanne and I gathered 30 people into a big house in Riverhead and enjoyed the most wonderful day with these two ‘giants’. I have subsequently read all of Baxter and Paul’s books, and apart from those I’ve already mentioned, one stands out - Paul Young’s Lies We Believe about God for which Baxter writes the Foreword (which I thought was worth the price of the book alone). 

This is a very thought provoking, but I found, freeing little book … the bookseller’s blurb says: “33 commonly uttered things we say about God, revealing how they keep us from having a full, loving relationship with God. Using personal anecdotes and drawing on the touching comments from his readers of The Shack, Wm. Paul Young encourages readers to think anew about important issues, including sin, religion, hell, politics, identity, creation and human rights. In the process, he helps us discover God's deep and abiding love.” So true!

Not only was God capturing my affections and awe in new and wonderful ways, but the experiences I were enjoying were changing my message and practice as a pastor. 

Actually, my job was becoming easier simply because the love and grace of God was washing over my congregation - and not just through me. Others were starting fresh journeys, and I’m sure a window in heaven was open and pouring the goodness of God upon us.

Brennan Manning

Along the way, Brennan Manning kept popping up. Dear Brennan passed away a few years ago, but left behind some quotes that completely “undid” me. One favourite: 

“Do you believe that the God of Jesus loves you beyond worthiness and unworthiness; beyond fidelity and infidelity; that he loves you in the morning sun and in the evening rain; that he loves you when your intellect denies it, your emotions refuse it, your whole being rejects it; do you believe that God loves without condition or reservation, and loves you this moment as you are and not as you should be?”

Oh me, oh my.

Two of Brennan books sit side by side on our bookcase: The Ragamuffin Gospel and All is Grace.

Robert Farrar Capon

I must mention Robert Farrar Capon. Sadly this gem of a man passed away in recent years, but like Brennan Manning, left a great legacy in books, and some most enjoyable quotes - yes a man with a wonderful turn of phrase, sense of humour and vision of mercy, love and grace. 

As I write, Robert’s book The Mystery of Christ is on the way. 

"Grace is the celebration of life, relentlessly hounding all the non-celebrants in the world. It is a floating, cosmic bash shouting its way through the streets of the universe, flinging the sweetness of its cassations to every window, pounding at every door in a hilarity beyond all liking and happening, until the prodigals come out at last and dance, and the elder brothers finally take their fingers out of their ears."

(Don’t get me started on Capon quotes - there is just to end to the bliss).

Two other Capon books sit side by side on our bookshelf: Between Noon and Three: Romance, Law and the Outrage of Grace and Health. Money and Love: And Why We Don’t Enjoy Them. And happily there are still many more to buy … including his much acclaimed series on the Parables.

Brian Zahnd

As I have journeyed so have books and their authors journeyed with me. I can easily remember the impact of Brian Zahnd’s book  Water to Wine. It’s by-line is “Some of My Story” and I found I could identify with so much of the testimony I found in Brian’s book, and as the title says, 

it really has been a decade of leaving behind water to discover the wine of a new relationship with an extraordinary loving and grace-filled God.  

I couldn’t wait for Brian’s next book, and after reading Sinners in the Hands of a Loving God I simply wanted to read it again. Brian takes us through a range of topics that lead us away from an “angry God” who is wrathful towards sinners - imbedded in so much of Evangelical theology - and paints a picture of the loving God who is perfectly revealed through Jesus. More stunning, life-changing truth for me. It was a huge privilege to meet Brian and Peri Zahnd in Tauranga last year (a one day prayer school), and of course have him sign my copy of his book.

Brad Jersak

And meet my fellow traveller, Brad Jersak. It was a thrill to meet Brad in Auckland last year, but not before two of his books had lovingly done some rearranging of my spiritual furniture. The first, Her Gates Will Never be Shut had been recommended by Baxter Kruger. The second, A More Christlike God: A More Beautiful Gospel reveals the God who looks like Jesus in every respect, the perfect Incarnation of self-giving, radically forgiving, co-suffering love. 

The One, who by now, had completely captured my heart in a way I had thought I would never know - maybe others, but probably not me. O how marvellous to be found wrong on that little bit of self doubt.

Jessica Kelley 

Jessica Kelley placed a capstone, of sorts, on my understanding of grief and where God is in the midst of tragedy - this was personal for me, of course, having the sadness of loosing our 16 year old son, Regan. In Lord Willing? she tells the story of her five year old son’s suffering and death from cancer, but more than that, Jessica opens our hearts to a vision of God that is far from aloof at such times, and is most certainly not the instigator or ‘allower’ of such sadnesses that befall us. This God walks vulnerably with the vulnerable, he is the lover of our souls.

Richard Rohr

I almost had another “Shack” encounter when I read Richard Rohr’s The Divine Dance. it made me realise that for a number of years I’d been reading and listening and talking about … God himself, the beautiful Heavenly family, this utterly loving Trinity; and it was transforming, it was freeing and it was deeply worship invoking. 

It was changing my heart toward people, ridding me of judgementalism and past elitist dogma.

And I realised that most pastors I knew (and I had been one) didn’t read books about God! They were more interested in learning how to lead a bigger church, or heal more sick people, or get revival, or … but actually not about God. 

All this was going on in my brain as my spirit was being further renewed with Richard Rohr. There are now three other Rohr books in the house, and quite unique in the devotional and contemplative path they chart, as well as the brilliant revelation of truth they bring. Falling Upward is a classic - just had to throw that in.

Rachel Held Evans

Did I mention Rachel Held Evans? Probably not because Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again has only been in the house a couple of weeks and Suzanne has claimed it first! But O … it’s touching her heart and restoring lost treasures - it’s beautiful to behold.

As I write this, it dawns on me that I’ve been keeping company with Catholic Priests, Anglican Vicars, Charismatic pastors, Orthodox Monastery preachers, Presbyterian theologians, itinerant social change-makers … everyone of them captivated by the great Lover himself, everyone of them with a unique and moving story to tell, everyone of them with treasures to give away. 

It makes me think how narrow my band of reference and fellowship had become, and how awful and ill-informed my prejudices had been. But not any more … Jesus had given me, given both Sue and me, not only a brilliantly diverse band of people who write books with whom to journey (and I’ve not covered them all), but also a wonderfully diverse band of friends who read books, who love me and walk alongside me. It’s amazing grace and it’s an amazing life.

_________________________________

Footnote

These days I buy all my books from The Book Depository (good prices and shipping). Should a book not be available from The Book Depository, I then go to Amazon.

https://www.bookdepository.com

https://www.amazon.com