#i’m honestly done correcting people’s lies about me and misconceptions. they can think what they want

[mithliya]

anon w the lc link, thanks 🙏🏾 i guess some ppl have nothing better to do than to completely fabricate stories (or get bits of truth and then mix it up with falsehoods). nothing i can do about it because clearly those people want to imagine me as some super elusive privileged heterosexual millionaire compulsive liar malicious kinkster to justify their strange fixation with me.

[vivithefolle]

Hi Vivi, can you share some thoughts on the "Hermione deserves to be/should have married to XYZ because she is way too good for Ron" mentality of this fandom??

I’m gonna copy-paste a Quora answer of mine, because recycling is important!

Claiming that Ron is “out of Hermione’s league” is a statement rooted in sexism, classism and probably a bunch of other -isms.

It might seem like I’m just throwing buzz-words around but let me explain.

First off, the sexism.

Oh, the sexism.

As I’ve pointed it out in yet another one of my answers  (I’m so sorry for drowning you all in a plethora of links), Ron is very much a female-coded male character.

Ron is emotional, wears his heart on his sleeve, has anxieties and inadequacies, walks off in order to cool down, has a temper, puts other people before his needs, and pretty much adopts Harry when he rescues him in the second book. He’s the Heart of the Trio: he doesn’t rely on sole logic, he can believe something without proof, he is sensitive and thus is the easiest to hurt emotionally.

Whether you call it a “beta male”, a “wuss”, “defying gender roles” or a “soft boy” is your own business, but the core of it is that Ron doesn’t meet the standards for people’s vision of a “desirable” masculine figure.

The little things Ron quietly performs in the books - when he helps Harry into his pyjamas in Chamber of Secrets because Harry’s arm is bloop; when he’s worrying about Hermione’s whereabouts in Prisoner of Azkaban; when he helps Harry unwind after his visions in Goblet of Fire; when he puts food onto Harry’s plate and wakes him up from his nightmares in Order of the Phoenix; when he beams that Hermione was “perfect, obviously” when she passes her Apparition test - all those caring gestures don’t seem like much, but if you bother to think about it, they paint an enormous picture.

Who gets Hermione to stop overworking while making her feel good about her accomplishments? Who comforts Harry from his nightmares and cares for him in the dead of the night, when nobody is awake? Who makes sure his friends are healthy and happy? Who wards off the dark and depressing thoughts, be it with his fists or a joke?

It’s Ron.

When you think about it, “traditional masculinity” in Harry Potter is as much frowned upon as “traditional feminity” is - which sometimes bites Rowling in the butt when you remember how she obviously seems to consider that Hermione and Ginny are the only desirable kind of girls.

Vernon Dursley? The entrepreneur “king of the household” prejudiced suburbian middle-class Dad? Fits in the usual tropes of traditional masculinity.

Dudley Dursley? The typical “boys will be boys” spoiled middle-class only child who’s the apple of his parents’ eyes and even takes up boxing, as if he wasn’t traditionally masculine enough.

Draco Malfoy? See Dudley, but toss in “upper-class posh aristocrat bully who doesn’t like to get his hands dirty so he has henchmen do it for him because he’s too rich for this sh-t”, would remind you of a few Christian Greys or Gatsbys.

Dolores Umbridge? Oh no, cat pictures, decorative plates, talks to teens as if they’re babies and PINK, SO MUCH PINK!!! So disgustingly feminine!!

Rowling very much frowns upon traditional gender roles - with Molly Weasley being an exception because Rowling feels very strongly about being a mother, and relates to Molly a lot.

Right - so, being a beautiful mess of paradoxes and contradictions (a “soft boi” who also punches bullies in the face, a fussy mother-hen who swears like a sailor, a tall athlete with badass scars on his arms who’s nurturing and sweet; in short, a wonderfully human character), Ron is obviously going to be a polarizing character. You painfully relate to him and get defensive when he’s criticized, you feel his characterization hits a bit too close to home so you hate him, or you disregard him completely because you can’t see anything “special” about him…

Now, onto another very, very sexist point that is often made.

People say that Hermione “deserves better” than Ron, often claiming that they “aren’t intellectual equals”, then citing Harry (who is mistaken as being some sort of slumbering genius but honestly, the kid is really a bit daft) or Draco (since apparently, being rich must equal to being intelligent) or, god forbid, Snape (because he’s a teacher and teachers are meant to be clever).

Soooo, I could go the loooooong way and pull out all the receipts that prove that none of these characters are perfectly intellectually matched to Hermione…

Or I could go the long way and simply give you this: this obsession with finding an “intellectual equal” for Hermione reflects the mentality of “women are not allowed to be better at something than their husband”.

Yep.

A woman has to be all-around pretty good at everything, whereas a man has to be the absolute best in his area of greatest competence (surely better than any puny female!) with a help-meet there to compensate for his weaknesses. People are very, very uncomfortable when Ron and Hermione reverse this dynamic. Hermione is extremely intelligent and dedicated to intellectual pursuits, but is complete pants at things like self-care and people skills. Ron is bright enough to keep up with her and strong in her areas of weakness.

Even if Ron was as dumb as a sack of rocks (he’s not), his other virtues are more than enough to “justify” Hermione loving him. (Because she needs an excuse?) But no. A woman has to be with a man who outdoes her in her area of greatest strength. - credit to @lytefoot

People don’t want Hermione to be with a man who’s her “equal.” They want her to be with a man who can be The Man so she can know the contentment of being The Woman.

But, with this sexist line of thought, how do we justify how Ron is supposed to be such a bad match for Hermione? Because if it was just about mere sexism, Romione would surely be more popular. Imagine! Ron happily raising the children, being a house-husband and proud of it, while Hermione is out there fighting for justice in the wizarding world! What a power-couple, defying norms and gender roles and not being the least bit conscious of it, prime OTP material for sure! So why do people still want Hermione to put Harry, Draco, or god forbid², Snape in Ron’s place? Is this an irrational hatred of redheads? An Harmionian’s delirious wet dream? A failure to separate the actors from their characters?

It’s all this and, quite frankly, something more: the inherent classism that comes with Ron’s status as an explicitly working-class coded character.

I know, I know, “Vivian! Calm down with the buzzwords, you’re starting to sound like an online pretend-feminist magazine!”

Or “Come on, people who don’t ship Ron and Hermione together aren’t all sexist or classist!”

Of course, of course! I know that! I’m not implying that!

But some of the “reasons” why they claim that Ron and Hermione can’t work - are extremely classist in nature, that’s just it!

Come on, think about it! What are the Number Ones arguments people always pull against Ron? Or the most common Ron-bashing tropes (look at fanfics and watch the number of stories that use at least one of those)?

Ron is stupid/mediocre

Ron is lazy/useless

Ron resents his wife’s hard work/success

Ron is a homophobe

Ron is a drunkard

Ron (the big prude who at 16 had never kissed a girl and sees a first kiss as the prelude to a wedding) is massively oversexed and cheats on Hermione with anything that moves

Not only do these “reasons” completely ignore ALL OF RON’S CHARACTERIZATION - except for the “lazy” bit but come off it, all teenagers are lazy and Hermione’s the exception to the rule - but it matches perfectly with the negative stereotypes associated with working-class white men in fiction.

It’s also very funny to note how many (assumedly middle-class or financially secure) fans look down on Ron for being “whiny” or “greedy” when he expresses the desire to have money of his own, or blame his parents for “not knowing when to stop” or “being irresponsible”, or even look down on them for being “too proud to accept help”!! Also how shocked people are when Ron dares to stand up for himself when Hermione or Harry act badly towards him. How dare this country boy not listen to the wisdom of his social “betters”?

So, obviously, because our Heroine can’t go with a Nasty, Mediocre Working-Class Man, she must be paired off with someone of Proper Status: say, a Hero that was raised in a middle-class home and might be a bit psychologically damaged but it’s nothing all those gold coins in his vault can’t fix; or this Rich Posh Aristocrat who actively rooted for her death, he’s a little bit eccentric and has some exotic pet-names to call you, but I’m sure you’ll learn to love him and will unearth the gold coins in his bank account… I mean, the heart of gold that lies within the surface; oh, why not a Way Too Big An Age Difference Teacher if you’re looking for a “cultured man” who has zero things in common with you; we can also bring Convenient Plot Device Famous Rich Foreign Athlete if you want some diversity and you don’t feel original!

But we can’t - oh, we mustn’t let her be with this Terrible Working-Class Boy! His brothers are fine, they have money, they have jobs, so they’re obviously Not As Mediocre. But let our precious Hermione be with this Just-Got-Out-Of-School hooligan? She can’t possibly be in love with him! You’ll see darling, you’ll get bored eventually! He’s too mediocre for you, you deserve a man who outclasses you - I mean, who can provide for you! You’re a fragile little flower who scars people for life when she’s not happy with them, what makes you think that this boy can possibly handle you even though he’s done so for the past seven years?

You wanted it, you got it.

People are shallow, have misconceptions about Ron’s character that they are unwilling to correct or use classist and sexist arguments to try to make it so that either Ron is the Devil himself / Hermione is a higher kind of being that can only orgasm if sufficiently “intellectually stimulated” / what-have-you.

[mazqueen]

I’ve seen a handful of posts/some replies to me/etc explaining why people think she’s a lesbian and not bisexual, but I haven’t really seen anyone talk about why Petra is bisexual and not a lesbian even though I see a lot of people who do think she’s bi, like I do. So I’ve volunteered to do the honors because I have a lot of feelings about Petra Solano and I have no life. And obviously I’m not claiming I’m right, or anyone is wrong? But this is really just the way I see it, how I feel about it.

I’ll start from an outside perspective and why I think Petra as bisexual is important: bi visibility.

We already have three confirmed lesbians in canon. Rose, Luisa and Krishna. All of whom have been around throughout seasons despite not being regulars. Granted, so far it’s been poor representation overall but regardless of how they’re written, they’re there. People are pretty much assuming JR is also a lesbian. I don’t know if this is something they’ll confirm but regardless. So I’m thinking what are the chances the writers would add another lesbian onto the list when bisexual is a very clear (and for me makes more sense) option for Petra? Plus they’d have to re-explain Petra’s past with men both romantically and sexually into something less than what it’s been already canonically portrayed in order for them to portray her as a lesbian. I don’t know how they’d do that without veering into bi erasure because that’s certainly how it’s going to feel for me and I’ll get into that more later when I talk about why I think Petra being bisexual fits her story within JTV’s narrative.

The only bi character we’ve had is Adam, who is not a main/recurring over a long span of time the way Rose, Luisa and Krishna are. I’ve seen/talked to some people suggesting the episode was also in some way a precursor to Petra’s biwakening. They knew they were going toward that direction with Petra’s character, so they inserted Adam correcting misassumptions including and specifically focusing on: that bisexuality isn’t a pitstop to being gay. I initially felt the timing of Adam’s departure was insulting, given he left not two seconds after it was revealed he’s bi, but if it’s true that the episode was at the same time a precursor to what’s happening with Petra right now, everything actually kind of fits into place. This way they can tell Petra’s story with hopefully the chunk of misinformed audiences’ misconceptions about bisexuality already corrected as well, and it makes sense for it to have been Adam and not Petra do so especially because Adam will have had time to understand this more than Petra would at the place she’s at right now. He’s definitely in a better position than Petra to clarify bi misconceptions since this would be new territory for Petra that she’s only starting to explore and might not have a full understanding of yet.

(Also mildly significant, Gina Rodriguez retweeted bisexual Petra and while that isn’t an official confirmation, they’re filmed up to 4x13 by now soooo… she knows more than we do, there’s that to consider.)

Petra as bisexual would be such a good representation. Petra as a lesbian would be good representation for lesbians but personally, I feel would deadass be horrible for bisexuals especially the bi erasure that would happen, imo, which is already such a problem for bi’s to begin with. So I don’t see how that could possibly end well.

Now, I’ll talk about why apart from being good bi representation, I also think bisexuality fits into Petra’s narrative and doesn’t clash with what’s already canon as opposed to her being a lesbian.

I’ve seen some suggest Petra’s a closeted lesbian. Closeted suggests she’s aware, but that she’s keeping her sexuality a secret. I don’t think this is the case because first, Petra doesn’t strike me as the type to hide something like that and deny herself. In the last episode, she tells Jane in one of her voice memos that if you want something, you go get it or something similar. I can see her being in denial over a short amount of time at best, or confused. But denying herself for a long period of time? Not very Petra-like for me. Second, and I suppose more significantly. The narrator said ‘sexual awakening’ in the last episode after she woke up from her JR dream, confirming that it was… well, an awakening. Which means she wasn’t aware she was attracted to women before. That’s already canon, confirmed.

Moving from that, I’ve seen a few others suggest she’s a lesbian because of her problematic relationships with men in the past. And while I know this has been the experience of some and that’s valid, in Petra’s situation in particular, I truly feel that her unhealthy/problematic relationships have more to do with (1) who and how Petra is and how she treats people in general and/or (2) her being gullible and her inability to judge people whether they’re good or bad / their intentions, etc in general (not just people she’s dated) rather than the gender of the people she’s dated. Why? Because Petra doesn’t only have problematic romantic relationships with men. Petra has had problematic relationships with literally every single person at one point or another in every aspect of her life (familial, platonic, romantic) so far, save for the twins.

This is a list of all the people in or have been Petra’s life that we’ve seen her interact with: Magda, Milos, Lachlan, Rafael, Roman, Jane, Chuck, Krishna, Anezka, Luisa, JR.

Let’s start with Magda. Her mother. That relationship was problematic as hell. Manipulation, lies, death threats, you name it. This is self explanatory and has less to do with Petra and more to do with Magda though I do think her mother is the root cause of a lot of her problematic ways because she played such a huge role in Petra’s development as a child. This problematic relationship lasted because Magda’s been lying for her for years and she had no clue. Because as I’ve mentioned before, Petra can be very gullible when it comes to people. She likes to think she’s a good judge of character but she’s honestly just… not. Take a look at Milos (turned out to be an abusive pos), Lachlan (she believed him in s1 and thought she was playing him, turns out he played her), Roman (turned out to be a kidnapper working for Sin Rostro), Chuck (not as bad as the others but still a liar), Anezka (do I even need to get into this), and finally JR (who has been pardoned now and proven herself...so far, but I’m not just gonna ignore the fact that she started out with the intention of framing Petra and Petra totally missed that). These are problematic men and women she let into her life. I’ll reiterate that it’s a common theme for Petra to do so in all aspects of her life, not just in romantic relationships with males.

Krishna, Jane, Rafael and Luisa are all different relationships but I do think all of them fall under problematic relationships in the first category I mentioned : that it has to do with who and how Petra is, the way she acts etc. She doesn’t really treat Krishna well. Luisa… not exactly either. She’s tried to manipulate Luisa several times on the show now. Her relationship with Jane, as much as my Jetra heart hurts to say? Is rocky at best. Petra’s done a lot of shit to Jane, and if Jane wasn’t such a forgiving person they’d never have reached what they are now. And I’d like to point out that what they are now? Uh. Not exactly something I’d describe as healthy either (though less problematic than others yeah). As for Rafael, I’d say this is more both of them contributing to the occasional problematic af nature of their relationship.

Bottomline: Problematic and/or unhealthy relationships for Petra has been, like I said, with LITERALLY every person in her life at one point or another, in all types of relationships she’s had. Not just with men, not just romantically with men. So I can’t attribute her problematic romantic relationships with men to her being a lesbian subconsciously, or unconsciously. If she actually had a healthy relationship in any other aspect with someone? Anyone? Any one person then yeah, I’d consider it. But there isn’t. And the closest we’ve gotten to Petra having a healthy romantic relationship with anyone is with Raf. So let’s talk about that and bi erasure.

Rafael was (is) the most prominent man in her life. Rafael, whom she married. Rafael, whom she fell so deeply in love with, and I do believe that Petra loved him as much as she was capable of, as much as she knew how to, all things, especially her problematic past, considered. Rafael, whom we’ve seen flashbacks of Petra in the happiest we’ve seen her throughout anything we’ve seen on the show so far. (We see her smiling at JR the same way as Raf!) At the very least, in the flashbacks we’ve been given (since s1 gets a bit complicated), I’ve always felt like the love she felt for Rafael was real. Genuine. It never felt forced, it never felt fake. Let me list a few instances that explicitly show Petra’s feelings for Raf were real and not forced, not fake: I remember in s1, she admitted how hard it was to see Rafael and Jane together, building a family. And that was something that she and Rafael were supposed to have. The heartache there was real. When she told Rafael ‘I never stopped loving you.’ That felt real to me. And it wasn’t just me. The narrator confirmed it was real, ‘Turns out, it's easy to give a good performance when what you are saying is actually true.’ Petra, who told Zaz she hasn’t cried since she was a child, Petra who rarely breaks down in front of other people, Petra, who thinks crying would mean embarrassing herself couldn’t help but cry anyway. Even when they were no longer together, and Petra was still lowkey in love with him? I remember she made that one stupid decision about the alcohol license permit because she let her feelings for Rafael get in the way. She caved and let Raf have his way, even though she had nothing to gain from it. A lot of us have done stupid things for love. And there are more but the point is, her romantic relationship with Rafael has always felt real to me.

Petra and Rafael fell apart because of two outside circumstances that they weren’t able to handle as a couple: miscarriage, cancer. Before that? They were happy. Building a family together. But those are huge things for people to go through and they were young. They didn’t know better, I don’t think they knew how to handle things when it came to it. The people giving them advice? Magda, whom we know is trash I mean come on, she basically tells Petra to use sex to her advantage and Luisa, whom I recall was encouraging Raf to leave Petra and be honest (without malice though!) but idk? No one ever tried giving them an advice I feel would be more appropriate for a marriage like: How about they give the relationship a try, actually make an effort and try to make things work. Maybe go to couples therapy. Something, anything that involves at least an attempt at fixing things. Because the fact is they fell apart and they never tried to mend it until 1x02/3 but it was too late by then. Like I said, they didn’t know better. And I think the fact that those two grew up with trash parents also contributes to how they handled problems when they arose. Parents are crucial to a child’s development. But just because they fell apart, doesn’t mean the time that they were happy and in love doesn’t count. They do count. Her relationship, marriage with Rafael, a male, counts. Just because it fell apart, doesn’t mean Petra wasn’t in love with him. I know JTV likes to pretend sometimes that all Petrael ever were was problematic but they weren’t always.There are scenes to prove it. External forces caused them to crumble, yes. After that, it was a roller coaster, yes. But that relationship, the feelings they had, more importantly that Petra had was genuine, romantically, sexually. To say that it isn’t when the narrator has confirmed it was or to lessen it or whatever, personally? is bi erasure to me. And while in s4 Petra realizes Raf isn’t what she wants anymore, it doesn’t change the fact that he was exactly what she wanted in the past. People ARE capable of having real feelings for someone in the past and then moving on. To negate her feelings in the past because she feels differently romantically now, is bi erasure.

…especially when literally in the last episode she talks about her sexual attraction for Raf. So much so that she gets herself worked up : look at her in the scene once she starts talking about sex, you can see how it affects her. That scene was the build up for Petra having that sex dream. Her JR dream was a combination of Petra working herself up with thoughts of how good Raf is in bed along with her attraction to JR she wasn’t fully aware of. Bi.Sexual. It also isn’t the first time they’ve touched on Petra and Raf’s sex life. s3, the narrator thought it was noteworthy they had sex thrice, Raf whispering to Petra about Paris? felt sexual to me too. Petra’s relationship with Roman? Significant in its sexual aspect too. Petra’s sexual attraction to men? Real. As real as her sexual attraction to women. (Briefly bringing up the way Petra looked at Luisa’s boobs early s4, which I now think was put there intentionally.) If Petra having sex with JR in the future turns out to be the most amazing sex she’s had? It doesn’t make her not bisexual. If Petra falls in love with JR and her love is deeper for JR than it was with Raf?  It doesn’t make her not bisexual.

And so yeah. With all of that, if Petra doesn’t turn out to be bisexual in canon? It’ll feel like bi erasure to me. It’s been outrightly conveyed more than once that her feelings, romantic and sexual, for her male partners (not all of them because she was just using some lol) were real. Taking that back to fit a narrative where Petra is a lesbian would feel like rewriting it (and I can see how it can be done, for sure) and would leave loopholes, imo. That’s just me. Anyway, I’ve yet to read other theories that have made me believe otherwise sooo. But until JTV confirms it, it’s hard to conclude anything, really.

[theinsanehurricane-blog]

The [Insane] Hurricane El Huracán [Insano]

A Descriptive and Accurate College Nickname...

My blog is titled The Insane Hurricane because of a nickname I received during undergrad. I’m not sure who started calling me Hurricane Zack, and quite honestly I think it was more than a single individual--and it kind of has just stuck with me for the past five or six years.

I’m going to step out on a limb here and guess that some people would not enjoy being compared to a Hurricane. Others likely would not title their blog or center the theme of their blog around a disaster, and that is perfectly reasonable...

...Hurricanes are natural disasters. They are a force to be reckoned with. They form rapidly, in what seems like a blink of an eye. People do not always take them seriously. They can be unpredictable. They can change their path. Sometimes it is hard to tell where or when they will make landfall. Sometimes the intensity strengthens, but sometimes the force weakens. If they make landfall, they often ruin--they ruin through their devastation of people and places leaving trails of destruction in their wake.

So I guess that leaves the question of why I still associate myself with a nickname that has a negative connotation

My answer is pretty simple. I embrace the nickname because it is accurate. I don’t lie about who I am, and I do not deny my flaws. This is a positive and negative aspect of who I am as a person. 

I. The Warning Siren [evacuate before it is too late]...

My brutal honesty about my personality can, and has: deterred people from forming friendships and relationships with me; given people ammunition to use against me; and caused people to jump-the-gun and form negative opinions and misconceptions about me.

Embracing something negative that is somewhat accurate is definitely a warning signal to stay away from crazy. For me it is kind of a test: can you handle me at my worst? Can you weather the storm?...

...Because what people seem to forget is that while hurricanes can overwhelm and wreak havoc, they don’t always make landfall where you will be impacted; and, there are always much brighter and sunnier days ahead. I have a lot of love, compassion, and happiness to give to people I love and care about. I do everything I can to give to those that ignored the “warning siren” and hunker down during the surge.

[Insane]

Another question that anyone reading this could have is why the insane part and why the brackets.

In a way it is kind of a jab at misconceptions people make about me: that I am erratic, unstable, a shitshow, etc... I might come across as those descriptions at times, but for the most part I usually have everything under control (even when it does not always appear that way on the outside). So while [Insane] is a jab at the judgments and misconceptions, there is also some truth in the word--which leads me to the categories of Hurricane Zack...

II. Hurricane Zack is making landfall as a Category 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 storm...

I do not handle rejection, failure, lies/deceit, or manipulation well. Actually, handle might not be the correct word... 

a) [CATEGORÍA UNO y CATEGORÍA DOS]

I do not overcome or let go of rejection, failure, lies/deceit, or manipulation well. If someone has done or has caused me to feel like I am experiencing items on that list, then I am likely a Category One or Two storm. At this point, if you are someone that knows I have been subjected to something on that list, or if you subjected me to something on that list--the best thing you can do is talk to me about it and get me to open up; often, you just might end up stopping the storm in its tracks.

b) [CATEGORÍA TRES]

If I have reached the point of Category Three then I am likely letting the situation fester. Sometimes you cannot even tell that I am increasing in intensity. When most people talk about being numb it implies that they have fully overcome a situation that hurt them; but, numb for me is not that at all. If I am “numb” it does not mean I am over it. It means that the issue or whatever hurt me is still prevalent, I am doing everything I can to not think about it, and there has been zero resolution. I am still clutching onto the hurt, but now it is getting to a point where the situation cannot be salvaged, and everything is just festering--this is Category Three.

c) [CATEGORÍA CUATRO y CATEGORÍA CINCO] = [Insane]

When the situation that has hurt me has manifested, lingered, and there has been abysmal attempt at resolution then we are in some dangerous territory. At this point I could be compared to a Category Four or Five Hurricane. This is also where the “jab at [Insane] being a misconception about me” flips, and is likely a somewhat accurate depiction. At this point I start to implode. The bottled up pain is in control, and it kind of hits with the power and intensity of the storm’s surge--all at once.

III. Your Hurricane Preparedness and Survival Kit:

It takes a lot for me to reach “Category Four or Category Five”; and, it is pretty easy to keep me from reaching that point... Minor things or things said by people I do not value can muster me up to a Category One or Two...; 

...however, if you are someone I value and trust, and you have caused me to feel or experience the emotions or things that are listed above, then I can escalate to higher categories very quickly...

But lucky for you, if you prepare yourself and know what to do, then the storm is not going to hit you too hard:

1 - If you think I am hurt or that you might have hurt me, be honest and actually talk to me about it. If you do not make the effort, then I likely will not express anything.

2. Be genuine with me, own up to what you did or said, realize that I have feelings, and show that you value me and my feelings. Do not try to act like nothing happened if something did.

3. Open up to me about why you did what you did. I am very rational, and sometimes I can overly sympathize...you’ll likely be let off the hookup if there is an attempt to resolve it early.

4. Do not make me feel that way again, but people are human and things are said and done...just make sure you have a damn good story for why it happened again.

***I realize this post has turned into a novel, but I think that it is a good introduction and insight into: how I am sometimes perceived by others; different misconceptions about me; the complexity that surrounds me; the things and situations that can really hurt me; how I cope with situations that have hurt me; how to remedy those situations with me; and, the story behind this blogs name/theme/and my nickname.***

Maybe some of you are also Hurricanes, and can relate to this post; or, maybe you have a Hurricane in your life...like I stated in my first post this blog and what I write is a way for me to process, reflect, evaluate, and work on my issues and myself; however, if it helps you in any way then I am happy it did.