#i’m having a really hard time not imagining the episodes as statements

[thhecaptainschair]

Listen, I know The Twilight Zone doesn’t take place in the world of Magnus, but how can I watch “To Serve Man” and not see the Flesh? Or an avatar of the Eye in the man who always knew exactly what a person needed? How about Maple Street descending into madness because they thought aliens were among them? Sounds like the work of the Stranger to me

[bluebasie]

Giyuu Tomioka's kindness deserves some more recognition!!

Am I the only one who hates when people interpret Giyuu Tomioka from KNY as some kind of unfeeling and mean person with the personality of a rock when so many scenes with him clearly show how much of a thoughtful, kind, and empathetic character he is??

His introduction scene is already an example of this when he (a person who has been slaying demons for 8 years and has a deep hatred for them) decides to spare a demon just because he saw Tanjiro and Nezuko’s bond and decided to give them a chance. I’m sure most everyone in the KNY fandom recognizes this, but I don’t think some people REALLY understand the implications of this action. The moment he decides to spare Nezuko he essentially becomes a traitor to the demon slayer corps which, by the rules or the corps, qualifies him for execution. Tomioka quite literally gave up his life and pride to spare a pair of siblings he didn't know just to give them a fair chance in a world that is clearly unfair. There's also the fact that after knocking Nezuko out in the first episode, even though he didn't have to, he put Nezuko’s robe back on to keep her warm, wiped the blood off of her face, and gave her a muzzle. Keep in mind though that demons can't get sick from the cold or anything and the cut would have healed itself. Tomioka put the robe on and wiped the blood purely for her comfort. 

Going back to the fact that Tomioka put his whole life on the line for these siblings, It’s not like he just abandoned them when they got caught. He fully stood with them when the Kamado siblings were brought before the hashira. Again this moment was actually HUGE even though his status as a ‘traitor’ lasted only two episodes. In the moment of the trial he essentially knew there was a good chance he would be executed but also, he knew that his pride/reputation was gone from his peers. (Pride was very important in Japan during this time period) One could argue that Tomioka already wasn't regarded well among the hashira but at least he was at least a little respected, but, as a traitor, you lose ALL respect. One could also argue that Tomioka didn't really care about his life and honestly, I could agree to that statement but there is one thing that overrules both of these points. His loyalty towards Ubuyashiki. It's well known that the Master is well regarded among the hashira and even the master being disappointed in one of them would be terrible for them. Imagine how bad it must be for one of the Hashira if Ubuyashiki had a full on disdain towards one of them. Tomioka was fully ready to take the chance of being deemed a traitor by Ubuyashiki by coming to the Hashira meeting to vouch for Tanjiro instead of running away or something. 

Then there is how Tomioka acted as a child. There isn't much shown about how he was before spiraling into a more isolated lifestyle after sabito’s death but from what we can see, His parents died when he was really young and he grew up with his older sister, Tsukato. His sister hid him from a demon when they were attacked to spare him and overcome by guilt, he blamed himself for her death and believed he should have died. This is one of the first examples of his self-deprecating thoughts after losing a person close to him and we can see them again when Sabito dies and also when Tanjirou ‘dies’. This shows how hard losses hit him to the point of causing himself to devoid himself of emotion because of the sheer amount of sadness his relationship's deaths brought him. The fact that he still wears Sabito and Tsukato’s haoris together as a memento for 8 years just solidifies it for me

There's also a few scenes post war that i’d like to mention such as the scene where Tomioka openly cries over Tanjiros death and exclaims that he’s failed him before apologizing to Nezuko. This scene also shows his tendency to put burdens unto himself in order to let others be happy. He also rejects help from the kakushi to sit beside Tanjiro and only after he confirms Tanjiro is alright does he allow himself to relax. Then there is the mention from the fan book that while Giyuu was in a coma after the war Nezuko fixed Tomioka’s haori that was previously shred to pieces during the war because she knew his haori meant a lot to him. Once he woke up and found out that she had fixed his haori and visited him every night, he was so moved that he sent a large multitude of gifts to her. It is also shown that after the war he allows himself to be happier and smile more. He is VERY clearly not emotionless.

The last thing I want to mention is his relationships over the manga with his fellow hashira. His friendship with shinobu may seem one-sided, Tomioka definitely cares for her wellbeing which can be seen when he asks Tanjiro about her during the Soba scene and in the fanbook where the hashira opinions of each other shows that he notices her fake smile. Tomioka knew shinobu’s sister Kanae so I’m sure he relates to shinobu about their common grief towards their deceased older sisters. Then There is the Uzui family which befriended Tomioka after the war and after Uzui’s first child was born, Giyuu was allowed to hold them. This could mean that after the war Tomioka opened up more, so the Uzui’s were able to notice Tomioka’s thoughtfulness. Then of course there are the Shinazugawa scenes. The infamous ohagi scene, where Giyuu gets so happy that he knows Sanemi’s favorite food so then he can like him rather than hate him that he flashes one of the three smiles he ever shows in the manga. There’s also the small speech he gives Kiriya at the final pillar meeting where he talks about how his father would be proud of him and how grateful they are to the Ubuyashiki family which ended up bringing Kiriya to tears before sharing another smile with Sanemi.

It is very clear that Giyuu Tomioka cares heavily for Justice and for those he is close to the point where his main character story is about his guilt to those he failed and about his feelings and connections with others so please please please stop portraying him as insensitive, mean, and emotionless!!!

Tanjiro, Nezuko, and Giyuu are Siblings fr

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk :)

Had to add this pic lol

[chloe-skywalker]

Better Man - Jaime Lannister

Jaime x fem!reader ! Stark

Warnings: GOT

Word count: 1, 037

Summary: Before the battle against the white walkers Jaime has a long time coming conversation with Y/n.

Authors Note: I honestly wrote this as I was watching the show and this was the first Game of Thrones imagine I wrote (its not the first to be posted). I honestly don’t know where I planned this to take place so I put it towards the end of the series. 

P.s - I didn’t watch the show as it was premiering live but I watched it for the first time in October 2022 and I finished it in 2 weeks. I loved it, great show. I was sad that each season only had 10 episodes or less.

Masterlist

Game Of Thrones Masterlist

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“You're quite the knife thrower, Lady Stark.” Jaime stated as he strutted over to her. They weren’t that far outside the walls of Winterfell, but they were alone.

“And I hear you're quite the swordsman, Ser Jaime.” Y/n replied picking up another knife, he had startled her when he spoke. It had been dead silent before he spoke, but she didn’t show that he had startled her.

Jaime nodded with a cocky smirk. “My reputation precedes me.”

“I would hope not all of it.” Y/n said looking at him, noticing his expression fall at her words. “Well, people don’t have the nicest things to say about you, your personality or your family.”

Jaime squinted his eyes before nodding, but he decided to lighten the mood with his answer. “Personality? I presumed I didn’t have one.”

He to had heard the rumors that she spoke of so he knew what she meant with her words.

Y/n laughed at his response, at least he could joke about it. Then again he was use to insults by now, wasn’t he?

“As for my family, I’m not my father or siblings.” He spoke again, approaching her step by step. Once he was right in front of her he leaned in and spoke seductively. “How about you make up your own mind about me?”

The two of them always seemed to flirt in each other's company, but it could never go far and they never had the time to really get to know each other either.

“I’d love to, but we never seem to have the time now do we?” Y/n decided to tease him, even though it did hold truth. When had they ever had the time? For yours it was one thing after another.

“I would make the time-” Jaime went to answer but she cut him off before he could finish.

“I don’t think your sister would appreciate that.” Y/n gave him a sad smug expression.

“Cersei doesn’t control me.” He growled lowly.

“But doesn’t she?” Y/n raised her eyebrows at his reply. She knows what she’s seen with her own eyes, he can’t argue that.

Jaime shook his head and pointed out. “Not since the war of the five kings.”

Y/n tilted her head recounting the time a few years ago he recalled. Was this really suppose to help his case? “You mean since my brother took you prisoner and my mother broke you free?”

As much as Jaime could agree hearing her tone that it wasn’t the best thing he could’ve brought up. But it did play to his point so he stated. “I spent over a year away from her and the rest of my family. That’s quite a lot of time to contemplate.”

Y/n would admit that he was away from his family who she believed was the reason for his bad traits and actions were beneficial for the man in front of her. She could see the changes in him by just looking at him. Because she truly looked at him. She looked past his exterior and looked at the man inside.

“I can see it in your eyes.” Y/n nodded in agreement with his statement. Which shocked and puzzled Jaime. “You are a changed man. You're not the man I first met in Winterfell. You're better. You are a better man now.”

Jaime looked down, having a hard time believing her words. No one ever believed in him as much as the woman in front of him and she barely knew him. “I don’t know about that.”

Y/n could see how much he doubted himself, and that saddened her. But it didn’t shock her, the Lannisters did not seem to be an encouraging family.

“But I do.” Y/n stated, the tone she used compelled Jaime to look into her eyes. She stated her belief in him so strongly and without a doubt, it made his heart clench. But in a good, emotional way. “I do. But even with that said as long as Cersei has a hold over you, there will never be a chance for us.”

If she was honest Y/n wanted him to chase them. Give them the chance to be together that they both so obviously wanted. But he had to make the decision himself, she couldn’t for him.

Y/n gave him a sad smile before moving around him to walk back to Winterfell, having stelfed the knives back on her belt the only thing she was leaving behind was a charming Lannister that didn’t seem to know what he wanted in life.

“Say the words.” Jaime spoke before she could get to far, turning on his feet and facing her.

“What?” Y/n stopped and turned towards him confused at his random choice of words.

Jaime took her confusion as his opening, he walked over to her, his face all serious. Shocking Y/n with the words that came out of his mouth. “Say the words and I’ll stay. Say the words and I’m yours. Only yours, forever.”

“And what words would that be exactly?” Y/n questioned nervously, she wanted to believe he was serious. But that depended on what words he meant.

Jaime wrapped his handless arm around her waist and leaned his forehead against hers.Gently running his other hand, the only hand he had left that was flesh and bone across her cheek. “You know the words.” He whispered, hoping she knew. If she felt the same as him she’ll know he thought.

Y/n felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest. Looking up into his pleading eyes she said the words that they have wanted to say for years to each other. “I love you.”

Jaime smiled, relieved that she did truly feel the same. Jaime pulled her into a sweet passionate kiss that should’ve happened years ago. There was nowhere he’d rather be. As their kiss continued Y/n wrapped her arms around his neck, enjoying the kiss just as much as him. Pulling back so they could both get air, Jaime smiled genuinely happy for the first time in years. “I love you too.”

Taglist: @gruffle1 @padawancat97 @misspendragonsworld

@starkleila

[east-polaris]

Some thoughts on the last few Magnus Protocol episodes as I’ve just now gotten caught up

SPOILERS!! Obvi

- feels rather cruel to have Alice be shaken up by her experience with The Horrors and worried that she’s going to get hurt by interacting with them and then give her a statement about someone who was shaken up by their experience with The Horrors and then died because of their interaction with them

- also return and voice of Ink5oul! Hey girlie!

- the fact that Madame E’s last video was just titled “help” made me giggle at first but then o thought about it more and. This is a person who uses excessive words on everything she says. Her vocabulary is loaded with filler and slang, so for this video to just have a one word title? Yeah you know shits about to go down

-Gwen girlie I hate to agree with Lena but they are Calle externals for a reason

- I am so curious about what’s going on with Celia. Like did she just wake up on a railroad track like an old times super villain put her there?

- And where does Celia keep disappearing to? She missed her date with Sam, she had to run out on her child, what’s going on?

- The statement in 17 is wild I was so confused at the beginning and I’ll be honest I’m still not sure what was happening there

- I know for a fact that people have pointed this out already but Jon and Martin?? In the therapy waiting room? Little Jon and Martin as a treat?? I hope it was them god knows they need the therapy

- MAGNUS INSTITUTE MENTION 🚨‼️🚨‼️

- this statement reminds me of when Jon said man I wish we had that guy who could take peoples bones out and Melanie said you’ll never guess who were keeping in the basement

- shout out to that housekeeper for getting the hell out of there I respect her for that

- making eye contact while falling down the stairs and breaking all your bones sounds very impressive and also hilarious someone please animate that

- CELIA HELLO??? Is this conformation that she’s from the other dimension??

- haha jmj error

- also WHAT JMJ ERROR

- I like to imagine that a jmj error happens when Jon Martin and Jonah are arguing about which case to give them

- “no Jonah you can’t give her that one that’s way too similar to what she went through she’ll freak out” “exactly we can watch her fear” “no you elitist prick that’s so rude cut it out or I’ll kill you again”

- why is Celia saying she’s seen Colin?

- Teddy is being so suspicious why is he saying everything like he’s looking from side to side shiftily the whole time

- Lena you can’t call a child an it that’s rude

- unless she knows something that we don’t…

- can’t believe they started to open up to each other and it went horribly wrong

- I don’t think we’ve ever heard Sam like that before, like I couldn’t tell who it was for a second

- actually, i couldn’t confidently tell you that we’ve ever heard someone laugh that hard in the entire podcast

- can you really blame him though? “Monsters are working for our government organization and one of them is Barney.” Wild.

-I do hope he apologizes though cause that wasn’t really cool of him

- Also is that our first f-bomb of the season?

- GEORGIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

- I think that Georgie might also be from the other dimension. Why else would she be so concerned about the government stalking her? That does beg the question, where is Melanie?

Thank you for listening to me ramble I had a lot on my brain

[hogans-heroes]

Me after the MOTA finale

My longest (spoilery) ep discussion yet under the cut:

There was…so much, this episode and I’m still raw and emotional. What a rollercoaster. Damn.

First just want to say we got some scenes we wanted like Crosby losing his shit over the locked supply room! 10/10 loved it and Rosie yelling “coca-cola” at the Russians will never not be funny.

I couldn’t breathe in the forced march. And Bucky’s state is still bad and Gale stayed so close. The prisoners getting shot by their own plane was horrible, and happened a lot. Can you imagine surviving years in a camp just to get killed like that?

The scene where the prisoners are in the train goddamn killed me i was not expecting such a sudden shift. Bucky comforting the one guy who was terrified. Them being convinced they were going to be killed and Gale and Bucky’s little exchange??? Gale saying he really did believe they would be the last two in the air, with that horrible lost expression like a kid who can’t understand? Them saying these years wpild have be hard without the other and they wouldn’t have done anything different?

Omg Gale really did say he’s “in” for an escape just to get Bucky to calm down and not get shot 😭

Gale looks so much younger with his fluffy escape hair it makes me sad, and his heartbroken look when his friend got killed…

Let’s talk about Rosie for a second. That scene of him in the concentration camp was so powerful because there was no words, nothing happening, no action/reaction like so many other films. You just sit there with Rosie and realize. Seeing that writing on the wall was…well of course there’s no words. That’s the point.

“Not even the earth that covers our bones will remember us.” The power of that statement sucker punched me and drove home even more determination to keep doing what I’m doing in historical work etc., telling these stories.

THE WAY I FLIPPED MY SHIT WHEN WE SAW THE COMMONWEALTH TROOPS IN THE LAST CAMP!!???! The Indian and Caribbean pilots??? The Sikhs!?? The Australians!!! The Algerians and French colonials??! In love

The last camp riot when the tanks showed up was SO INTENSE and amazing. And honestly the best symbolism of the show was the Nazi flag getting torn up but the mix of all nations that fought, then seeing all the different flags flying as the guys cheered.

Gale’s longing look when he saw the planes dropping food instead of bombs broke my heart. His smiles getting back in the plane and taking the food, seeing the people happy to be helped instead of scared/angry of being attacked. THIS BOY HAS MY HEART.

Bucky in the tower and in the Jeep along side Gale’s plane was TRAIN SLAM OF EMOTION MY GOD.

OF COURSE BUCKY WOULDNT LET THEM SHIP GALE’S LOCKER

Their smiles in the cockpit together, real, sweet smiles after all this time, and ending with all the planes flying away into that gorgeous sky…I have no words. It’s been such an emotional journey and was a powerful ending. I still feel like I could burst into tears any minute.

[hoeswater]

I'm Talking about MagPod and Archives Again

I know that those of us in the middle of the Venn diagram of “Magnus fans” and “People who actually know how archives work” have really given Jonny a hard time about the way that the Magnus Institute archives and artefact storage are shown as working (or, I mean, not working) in the podcast. Not just in terms of best practices (where) but also like… archives can be spooky, it can be a spooky job, but not really for those reasons, you know? Anyway, I think that Protocols Episode 9 actually engages with the archives’ role as an archives in a way that’s really, really interesting. Qualifications: I’m almost done with my master’s in Library and Information Science/Archives Management and have been working in actual archives of various types for a year and a half. 

Specifically, I’m really interested in how Dice Guy engages with the horror within the context of the donation process. We hear a lot about the horror that objects in this universe cause while they’re still in the possession of their pre-Institute owners-slash-avatars, and a lot about the horror that these objects cause when they’re mishandled (looking at you, Jon “It is Remarkably Easy to Buy An Axe in Central London” Sims) while being stored at the Institute, and every now and again we get to see Jon or Gertrude accept or turn down an offered object (the teeth apple, Eric Delano’s page, etc) in TMA. But this is one of the only places in the podcast(s) where the process of donation and acquisition registers as a part of the horror story for the people giving or receiving the object. I’m thinking specifically about the beginning of the “statement proper,” where the statement giver says:

“So yeah, I tell you all about them, how I got them, all that crap and you just… You take them away, right? You accept them. Good. I think. I’m pretty sure that’s how it works. It’s how it worked for me, at least. Put them in whatever vault you like, bury them, drop them in the ocean for all I care. All that matters is that they’re yours now.” 

At surface level, this disclaimer seems pretty similar to some of the other things that statement givers say in TMA: I just need to tell someone, I just need somebody else to know, You have the power to do something about this and I don’t, etc. But this statement differs from the ones we saw in TMA because it’s not just about catharsis or reaction to a terrible thing happening; it’s the actual change of ownership of the dice that gives this moment meaning within the horror story for Dice Guy. And this hinges on the fact that Dice Guy, like a lot of real-life people, sees the purpose of an archives as being locked vaults designed to keep non-expert people away from things they don’t know how to handle, rather than their actual purpose, which is to preserve things for the express purpose of making them accessible to the public. I imagine that the Magnus Institute, if it were real, would have some pretty strict access policies due to, you know, special circumstances– the stuff it holds generally having the ability to kill or maim or otherwise make people’s lives miserable– but it’s fun to think about. If Dice Guy had understood the fact that archivists and staff and conservationists and sometimes researchers interact* with the materials in their care, would he have still donated the dice? Was he at the point where it didn’t matter who got the bad luck, as long as it wasn’t him, or was he leaning on the stereotype of archives being locked vaults as a way to absolve himself of the guilt of giving the dice away to a person, because people use the things they're given and he thinks archives don't? 

It also raises some interesting questions about ownership. Real archivists think about the ethics of donation, acquisition, and ownership a lot. What does it mean for somebody to give something to an archive? What does it mean to accept it, therefore a) accepting responsibility for the preservation of the object and b) assigning cultural/historical/ideological value to it? This is where TMAGP comes pretty close to real archival theory: Dice Guy thinks that he’s nullifying the dice’s power by giving them to the Institute, but isn’t it true that to accept an object into an archive assigns it a level of power? The notes at the beginning of the statement seem to suggest that the dice coming under the Institute’s ownership lends them power beyond what they had originally, as well: “Viability as Subject,” “Viability as agent,” “Viability as catalyst,” “Recommend referral to Catalytics for Enrichment Applicability Assessment.” To me, this says that maybe the dice were in the running to potentially be chosen for the role that the tape recorders fill in TMA– to facilitate, or serve as a catalyst for, the narrative/the fears’ growing power by being passed to the “agent” (Jon or Jon-equivalent) through the Magnus Institute. We, the audience, know that, if the dice had been selected to fill the tape recorder role, that would give them the potential not just to make one individual’s life more miserable, but to fundamentally change the entire world a la TMA 160 and 200. 

*In TMA canon, the Web uses the Magnus Institute as a site for agents and catalysts to interact, just as much as the Eye does if not more. The fact that the archives is a site of interaction between people and particular objects is critical to the narrative as told by the Web, even if it seems incidental to Jon–and even if Jon doesn’t understand the archives that way. It’s an interesting way to look at the Magnus Institute and archives as functioning in a similar way to actual archives, which serve as sites of interaction between people and historical objects (in spite of Jon’s complete lack of ability to function as a regular archivist.)

[bluvlet]

hi ted!!

can you please talk about your opinion/thoughts on the relationship between robbie and drew bc you've mentioned it a few times in your posts and I'd like to know more about it 💕

Hi!! Thank you for the ask!! I’m afraid I can't offer a very well thought out analysis for you. But I’m happy to just ramble for a few paragraphs about some of my most steadfast thoughts about Drew and Robbie!

I really like the dynamic between Drew and Robbie; I think its significance can easily go overlooked compared to the other relationships in the episode. I suppose that my thesis statement is that it’s a parallel to Blake and Ellie’s relationship. Of course you have the general narrative parallels between Ellie and Robbie: the faceless children. And the parallels between Blake and Drew as fathers, which all work to naturally create a peculiar sort of four way mirror of reflection - where everybody's relationships are comparative. In that sense, Drew and Robbie mirror Blake and Ellie by virtue of what the narrative puts them through.

But I also understand this to be how Drew himself views his relationship with Robbie. I’ve talked about this a few times before - I think Drew purposefully recreates the circumstances surrounding Ellie’s death with what he does to Robbie. ‘I want you to know what it’s like to be me.’ he tells Blake, rather solemnly. If we take Drew as telling the truth (which I do here) then he’s admitting what he’s doing is supposed to represent Ellie’s death. I don’t mean this in a literal sense (that whatever Drew imagines happened between Blake and Ellie he recreates with Robbie) but more as a lens through which Drew constructs and executes his plan.

To Drew, Robbie is Ellie. Robbie represents this precious thing that Drew has lost, his daughter he is prepared to die for to avenge. He wants Blake to know what it's like, so he will try his best to replicate the circumstances he lost Ellie in with Blake’s son. But for Blake to know how it feels to be Drew, Drew has to assume Blake’s role. Drew has to be Robbie’s abuser in order for his plan to work. As a consequence, Robbie takes on two juxtaposing identities to Drew - something precious Blake should sacrifice everything to keep safe, and a pawn Drew can bury in a box underground to punish Blake.

There’s a sequence in the first half of the episode, before Drew drops his act, where I think these two roles merge into one in Drew’s mind. I’ve said all this before. Drew knows what he’s done to Robbie is killing him. I interpret Drew’s ‘I think I might’ve killed somebody’ and the outburst that follows as a genuine slip of his composure. I’m struggling to find the right way to word this but I think that in that moment Drew views (if not entirely then at least partially) what he’s done to Robbie as how he views Ellie’s death. He recognises that he’s buried Blake’s son alive, outside of the game he’s playing. That despairing recognition turns into anger, and he snaps at Blake. He then composes himself in the bathroom, and channels that rage back into acting on his plan. It’s hard to say how guilty Drew feels over what he does to Robbie. As a father who has lost his child he knows the pain he’s inflicting on Blake, and is willing to put him through that regardless. But he also formulates his plan so that if Robbie dies he dies, meaning he would not have to live with the guilt.

We never find out how Drew got Robbie into that box underground. In the same way we never know exactly what Blake was doing at the hotel room. The only thing we know for certain is that Drew spoke to Robbie at some point. During his phone call to Blake, Robbie tells him: ‘He said you’d come get me. He said everything would be fine. He said you’d do the right thing.’ I’m sort of obsessed with this. I just think it’s such a choice, that this is the only thing we find out about what Drew did to Robbie. I fluctuate between interpretations of this but in general I think Drew is comforting Robbie - whether insincerely or genuinely is debatable. You could interpret this as Drew imitating Blake. Again I struggle to articulate this; that reassurance that everything will be fine whilst you’re twisting the knife - it’s twin with Blake and Ellie. If that’s the case then it feels almost spiteful, that Drew knows Blake isn’t coming. He’s almost indulging in replicating Blake’s cruelty. Or, you could understand Drew as genuinely comforting Robbie that his dad will save him - perhaps instead indulging in that precious aspect of Robbie I mentioned earlier. It all depends on how much faith you think Drew has in Blake to ‘do the right thing.’

Robbie’s phone call itself acts as a sort of imitation of Ellie’s audio recordings. Drew had to listen to Blake prey on his daughter, knowing she was already dead and he could do nothing about it. Now Blake has to listen to his son cry and suffocate, knowing he doesn’t know where he is to save him.

Drew also acts as a surrogate for Robbie. How Drew is treated by Blake directly influences Robbie’s fate. Drew dies, Robbie dies. Drew’s identity in the episode is one of my favourite things to rack my brain about. He is Robbie and Ellie.

I hope these were the kind of thoughts you were looking for! I have a few more thoughts about Drew and Robbie but they’re more like little fragments than real points. I'm always concerned that what I’m thinking doesn’t translate well to written words when it comes to this episode. Do let me know what you think!

[yeonkimintakecare]

Washed Up - Chapter 2

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader; Angsty Fic

Summary: You've decided to audition, but will it be that easy?

You run into old acquaintances from the industry and new enemies.

Author's Note: I'm sorry it's taking me so long to write this, but I'm trying to write more lately.

Warnings: mentions of alcoholism, mental health issues, swearing, general angst.

(previous chapter) - (next chapter)

“Sorry! I’m just so proud of you! It doesn’t matter to me if you do the worst acting you’ve ever done. We are going to get through it together! Oh my god, ok. Ok.” Papers shuffle in the background as she mumbles to herself. “ Ok, so I’m sending the script over to you now. Somebody will drop them off in about an hour. Learn them the best you can and I’ll be over tonight to help you. The auditions are next week and we have a lot to work to do. I hear Song Mijoo is also auditioning. She will be tough competition.”

“Song Mijoo? Wasn’t she that rookie idol that wanted to break into acting? I remember just thinking she was okay but she was so stiff whenever she delivered her lines.” You said into the phone, starting to calm down and make yourself a cup of tea.

“Oh, that’s definitely her. But she’s changed a lot over the years, she started working with that one coach, Kim Minji, that worked with your costar on The Star’s Above, Jiwon.” Rina said, keyboard clacking in the background. She’s likely putting everything in motion as fast as she can so that I can’t change my mind. Wise decision on her part.

“Minji is a miracle worker. Anybody who can make Lee Jiwon actually able to cry instead of having to use any artificial tears deserves to win every award.”  You both laugh at that statement. “Ok, tough competition then, so I’ll need to practice as much as a can. I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have a job.” You say with a chuckle, but it’s a bit empty. You can crack jokes all you want but inside you just feel a huge pit in your stomach.

Were you making the right decision? You didn’t want to mess up and embarrass yourself. Again. And this time you would have to be, painfully, sober. God, this was going to really hard.

Over the 4 days, you read the script and practice the lines. Rina was right, this script did speak to you. It’s about a woman, Eunji,  who was trying to get back into her career and life after years of being a wife to a husband who was negligent. While you lost your career due to your own issues with alcoholism and mental health, you can relate to the her feeling of the loss of her youth and the character’s struggles with her own mental health.

The audition scene is a pivotal part of the show where Eunji has realized her husband is having a child with her best friend. She’s extremely hurt, not just because she’s learning the two most important people in her life are betraying her, but also because she’s never been able to have children, which she has always wanted.

It’s a heart wrenching scene and you just hope that you’re able to portray the feelings you have to, you really want this role and so you start to muster up some feelings from your past. You think about the life you had imagined for yourself when you had just begun in this industry.

You were 16, your mom had gotten you into this high school drama, she had gone to school with one of the producers of the show. You were just an extra with one line in one of the episodes. But then they started calling you back to do other small roles in their other shows. By 18, you had landed your first lead. In a high school drama, you were the main character who was in love with your best friend’s brother. It was a very stereotypical romance drama. But there was a scene in it where you got to show of your dramatic work when the male lead left your character to go study in the England.

After that role you started to book more lead roles and by 22 and decided to take a role about a teacher. The show was an easy one to be on. A show about a teacher who was falling in love with a parent of one of her students. That’s where you met Tae, or I guess V now. He was silly and optimistic. He played a recurring character, he was a teacher who would sometimes be comedic relief.

At first you guys weren’t close, but you could definitely tell he was an attractive man. But you couldn’t date, you had to focus on your career. You were on a fast track to be the top actress in Korea at the time. But then one day he bumped into you, and he was so nervous and cute, which normally wouldn’t have affected you, but then you saw his smile. His adorable wide smile. It’s like all dreams for your future flew out the window and all you could think of was how to get this man to smile at you again.

You soon found yourself searching for him in every scene you did together. You even went as far as asking the writers to make his role larger, pretending that it was just because his character was so funny. He was a very good actor too so it wasn’t hard to pull the strings.

Before you knew it he asked you out, and you knew you shouldn’t but you couldn’t help but say yes to him. Especially after how brightly he smiled at you. It wasn’t much longer until you were kissing him and staying over at his apartment most nights a week. You thought you could live forever in his arms, talking about your goals and dreams.

It was peaceful for a couple months, until a paparazzi caught a photo of you guys while you were getting breakfast after a night you had spent together. Your manager at the time was freaking out and your company had decided the best way to deal with it was to have you deny any relationship with him. They said you couldn’t be seen as the type of girl who was unavailable, not at such a young age. They told you if you wanted to make it, then you had to listen to them. They convinced you that if you weren’t viewed as attractive to your fans, they wouldn’t want to watch you. Claiming that your acting was no good unless he public viewed you as fuckable.  And like a stupid, naive young girl, you believed them.

You snap out of it when you hear Rina walk through the door of your home. She’s holding groceries and walks straight to your kitchen counter.

“I got some dinner, which I figure we can eat right now, but I got us some sweets for when we finish running lines. I thought it would be a nice treat –“ She stops suddenly when she looks at you for the first time. For the first time, you realize that you had been crying. Your eyes were puffy and red, cheeks stained with tears. Rina comes towards you quickly.

“Are you okay? Are you having regrets? We can pull out if we have to. You matter more to me than your comeback.” You smile at her as you shake your head.

“No no, I’m fine. I just was trying to muster up some old feelings so I can connect with the character.” You say, wiping the tears from your face. Rina steps closer and holds you in her arms.

“Ok, well if you decide it’s too much, don’t feel like you’ll disappoint me. I don’t think there is anything you could do that would ever disappoint me.” She pats your back as you feel yourself calm down and like that, you feel like yourself again.

You wipe your face and slap your hands down on your knees, making a loud slapping noise. “Ok, let’s eat and then get to work. I still have a long way to go.”

--

Days of working every minute on your craft, Rina had helped you film your audition and send it in. It took a couple takes, but you selected the best one. You didn’t want to look, but you forced yourself to, as Rina sent it off. You felt like a boulder had been lifted off of your chest. You felt relieved, and almost hopeful.

Some days passed and your anxiety began to grow as you waited for a response. You knew this could take some time, but you just wanted it to be done already. Did you make it to the next stage or was all of this a mistake. You had to keep reminding yourself to not get so negative, but after being out all these years, it just doesn’t feel right to be confident.

A week after you had sent in your tape you were cooking lunch for Rina and you were going to bring it to her office. Both of you were single so you did couple things together, like going to paint classes, picking up groceries together, and sometimes you made her lunch. She was an awful cook, so you offered to cook for her most of the time. You guys don’t live that far apart so its easy to pop into each other’s homes. You have keys for her apartment, as does she for your home.

You enter the building through the back entrance they give to celebrities who don’t want to be photographed. I feel the air change as I step into the office. I see the secretary look at me and look away with a grin. Oh no… I didn’t get it and now everybody is laughing at me. My stomach drops. I was so stupid to even try for it. I should’ve known that I lost my touch. I try to avoid contact with the rest of the workers as I make my way to Rina’s office. I take a breath before I open the door, prepping myself to face disappointment.

When I open the door I’m shocked. Rina has a cake and pops the cork on the "champagne" in her hands as she sees me walk in.

“Congratulations you talented bitch! You made it to a chemistry read! You’re this much closer to getting back into the industry!!” Rina shouts while jumping up and down. You feel a smile creep onto your face as you watch the 30 year old toddler. Did you really do it? Is it really happening? What happens now? Will you be able to prove yourself again, or will you fail again in front of everybody? Your smile drops as you start to spiral. Rina immediately senses what’s going through your head and rushes over to you.

“Hey, it’ll be alright.” She pats your back “Just breath in.” You listen to her. “and breath out.” And you do. “It’ll all work out. I have a feeling that you’ll get the role. I wouldn’t have presented it to you if I didn’t think that you’d be able to do it. But ____ so much time has passed, and look how quickly you fell into it again. You’re a natural, and you’ve been doing this for years. It’s like riding a bike.” She says, comforting you.

You wipe your tears and laugh “ That’s not relatable. You know I don’t know how to ride a bike.”

She laughs at your joke. “Ok, that its as easy as breathing. Acting is like breathing for you. I know because I’ve seen it. You are talented, so talented and so strong that I know you can get this role and get back up onto your feet, and even if you don’t get this role, it doesn’t matter because there are so many other projects that you would absolutely kill it in.”

She’s right, this role is everything, but also nothing. Your life wont end if you don’t land this part, this audition is just your first step out the door, your first toe back into the pool and once you make the plunge, there’s no going back.

--

The next week you arrive to the studio where you’ll be doing your chemistry read. Rina asked who you would be doing the read with and they said it would be the second male lead for now. An idol who is making his acting debut names Jungkook. You’re doing one of the scenes where your character has to reject the second male lead, a man who is higher up in the company but younger than your character. Unfortunately for him, at this point in the story the character has started to fall in love with the CEO of the company, who is also her best friend’s older brother that she has known her whole life. But she has gotten very close with the second male lead, as he has helped her transition back into the work place and they have become very close friends. So the scene is very emotional because they both want to be there for each other, but know that they aren’t on the same page.

Makeup artists touch up your makeup and hair before you sit on a stool in front of a camera. Behind the camera is Rina, several producers, writers, assistants, and the director, Min Yoongi. You’ve worked with him before, but he was only an assistant director back then. You’ve remained on good terms with him, the last time you had worked with him was before you became an alcoholic, although it would be hard for anyone in the industry at that time to have not heard what you became.

“____ How have you been?” Yoongi asks while walking up to you, holding his hand out for a hand shake.

“Yoongi, I’ve been doing well.” You say with a slight smile on your face.

“Genuinely?” He says with a concerned look on his face. You know that some people would be offended by this, but you know that he’s a straight forwards guy who just wants to make sure you aren’t going to ruin his project if you land the part.

You draw a deep breath in. “Genuinely. I’ll be candid with you, I’m 6 years sober.” You say, knowing that with him, you have to be honest. It’s probably one of the only things that he truly respects about a person.

With that he offers you one of his signature closed mouth smiles where just the corners go up. “Good, that’s good.” He says giving you a pat on the shoulder. One reason why you guys always got along was that you didn’t have to talk a lot to understand each other. You both were quiet and reserved people who just focused on the work they had to do. “Alright, lets get this started. Taehyung should be here any minute now.”

And like that the breath left your chest. You hear Rina pounce as you feel unable to move.

“I thought she would be doing a read with Jungkook today? That’s what she’s rehearsed for. Why weren’t we notifies of this change?” she says, you see Yoongi withdraw back into himself, clearly intimidated by your best friends protective mama bear side. One of the producers speaks up instead. A younger woman in a classy dress with a neat bob with blunt bangs.

“Jungkook had some idol promotion work that came up and we are running a tight schedule, V was available. Does she want this or not? If she’s truly a good actress like everybody had said she was, then she should be able to read the lines with him.” You can’t help but notice a slight smirk on her face. You can’t help having noticed her ‘was’ when talking about your acting skills. She was challenging you. And you knew you couldn’t disappoint everybody again, you had to prove to everybody that you still have what it takes to be a top star.

Rina starts to respond but you stop her. “You’re absolutely right, Miss…?” you ask.

“LaLisa Manobal, but most people know me as Lisa” she says with an eyebrow raised to you.

“Ah yes, I’ve hear of your work Miss Manobal.” You had heard of her years before. She was an idol from a young age who went solo and had wanted to getting into some of behind the scenes work of making drama. It seems that she’s succeeded now.  “Well, I can assure you that I am still perfectly capable of a simple chemistry read.” You say with fake arrogance. The truth is this wasn’t simple. It was the furthest thing from it. Soon you were going to have to see the only man you have ever loved for the first time since you broke his heart six years ago. ‘

“V’s car just pulled up, they’re bringing him up now.” One of the PAs says to Yoongi. You feel your heart stop, you start to breath faster as you feel your heart beating so loud that you’re scared they can all hear it.

You breathe in. You breathe out. You’ve got this. You practiced this. You worked so hard for this. Breath in. Breathe out.

“You okay?” Rina mouths from behind the camera. You nod. You are okay. Not good, not bad, just okay.

That’s when you hear the door click open, some body guard and managers walk through first and that’s when you see him.

Kim Taehyung. Your Tae. The only man you’ve ever loved.

(next chapter)

[magiefish]

Honestly the process of getting tattoos has always made me feel kind of icky, and I hate the thought of being filmed or having my body modified without my consent, so I was bracing myself for things to get *much worse* for all of episode 2. It never quite hit the crescendo for me, and honestly I’m kind of relieved about that, but I still enjoyed the video chat. The eye-vagueing in episode 1 was also pretty rough.

‘The Magnus Protocol’ is off to a pretty firmly body horror stance and, as much as I liked the dream-logic stuff of season 5, it’s good to have some good old fashioned grounded gore again.

The new theme song is also just so? *Menacing*? I love the ‘wub-wub-wub’ noise, it’s like ominous dubstep.

Not sure about the cast yet. Collin and Gwen seem pretty interesting (praying for brutal pipe murder 2: job advancement boogaloo), Lena’s okay, Sam’s alright I’ll probably like them more when we learn more about them, and Alice is…ehhhhh??? They can be funny sometimes but some of their jokes just land kind of flat and i don’t know if that’s intentional or not. Also *a lot* of them sound very similar to me so it’s kind of hard to tell who’s talking sometimes but I imagine I’ll adjust.

The entities are definitely around: meeting a bunch of new avatars and hearing their statements was always one of my favourite parts of tma. I just love hearing someone describing their relationship to a concept as vast and complex as fear and all the ways their psychology attracts them to a specific one. I always found them very compellingly written, you kind of almost wanted to get in on it too whenever you heard them. They all made their own macabre kind of sense. We’ve already met one in Ink5oul I think, and I can’t think of a better horror to begin with than an obnoxious Instagram personality with a number in their name.

As a big fan of ‘Control’ and weird categorisation systems in general I’m really liking the index the office has. I wonder what hyper-specific terms they’ll pull out. Personally I hope they’ve got one for the ‘fear of being watched by a duck - trauma’. The different mediums being explored using statements are also great. The mounting dread and suspense the repetition of names and times during the chat post one created was fantastic.

All this said, I really hope Norris and Chester aren’t just Martin and Jon stuffed into a Windows 19. Not because it wouldn’t be funny, I just liked the mystery of the original ending. If I had to make a theory, I would say that someone either supernaturally synthesised their voices from the tapes or it’s just a fragment of their beings trapped in there, not the entirety of them. Like, in order to escape the fears to another dimension they lost a part of themselves in the process kind of thing. Also interesting that employees can canonically quit the job. I wonder what mental gymnastics Sam is going to pull to stay at their job when The Horrors begin.

Overall, pretty good two first episodes! Looking forward to next Thursday.

Except for not mentioning Jekyll and Hyde when doing pop-culture-fear-indexing, rule of three and you are also LITERALLY the addiction metaphor horror podcast at least pay my man a LITTLE respe-

[italiansteebie]

Love on Screen

Episode Six: The Finale, Episode Five, Four, Three, Two, One

Dustin couldn’t help but smile as he watched the couple’s official announcement video. It was sweet, and chaotic, and full of sarcasm, just like he thought it’d be. It was probably his fifth time watching it, but the way they interacted was so endearing it was almost addictive to watch.  

—

“Hey guys! So, you’ve probably seen the clip of me and this weirdo by now, kissing at Robin’s party, and. We’re here to dispel any rumors, okay. Eddie, do you want to take this next part?”

“Sure, so guys. I know this might be hard to believe but… Me and Steve we… Are actually a couple.”

“Yeah! A couple of besties! Ha, you thought.”

“Stephano! I thought I was the chaotic one in this relationship,”

“Nope, I’m taking it over,” and he punctuated it with a sharp cackle.

“No but seriously, yes. We are dating, almost a year now. We never really hid it, like on purpose? I think we just decided to never really make any type of announcement ‘til now, and to be completely honest… We probably wouldn’t have said anything if that clip hadn’t been spread around.”

Eddie swung an arm around Steve, “Not that we weren’t ever gonna say anything, it just didn’t seem all that important to us to have a real… announcement about it, y’know?”

They both finished their statements, sharing a sweet kiss, before turning off the camera. “I think that went well,” Steve said, smiling at Eddie. “Yeah, it did, Stevie.” Eddie responded, smacking a wet kiss against his cheek. Steve laughed, wiping away the spit that Eddie left on his cheek. “I love you so much.” 

“Yeah. I love you, too.” 

—  

Long story short, their coming out was taken well. 

In fact, most people were calling them the ‘best internet couple,’ which. Nancy and Robin were right there but… Hey. If that’s what the internet wants, then well, who’s to change it. (Nancy and Robin were pretty salty, but they do have to admit that their friends were pretty cute, although Steddie wasn’t as good of a ship name as Ronance, I mean come on. It’s one letter off Romance). 

They still played into the whole ‘best friends’ thing, because hey. It was pretty fuckin funny, at least in their opinion. The couples content didn’t really change, besides the fact that they sometimes kissed in front of the camera, or while Eddie was streaming, chat always responding with some variation of “the fuck dawg?” Because apparently Steve was not only Eddie’s boyfriend, but the whole internet's boyfriend, which did not make Eddie jealous. Not at all. (Well, maybe a little bit, but he didn’t really have to worry about that).  

— 

Three years had passed, and Eddie and Steve had only grown in popularity. They made videos about DIY seats made of jeans, and how it looked to rescue elderly street cats, and they had a podcast called “Eddie and Steve, not Adam and Eve,” on which they usually shared really weird tiktoks on. Either way, Dustin absolutely loved it. 

‘Corrodededdie is going live.’ Dustin looked at the notification in slight confusion. Eddie usually doesn’t go live on Saturdays, let alone this late at night. Oh well, he guesses he shouldn’t complain. He taps on the notification, confused once more once he opens the app to a blank screen. “What?” He tapped the screen a few times, staring at his phone. He sighed, maybe it was just a fluke, so he moved to put his phone down when he heard Eddie’s voice finally float through the speakers. “Hey shitheads.” His tone was somber, and that was highly unusual for Eddie. He felt a pit in his stomach, something was wrong, what if he and Steve broke up? Oh god no. 

Dustin looked at the screen, seeing the sad expression on Eddie’s face, shit, was he right? Did they actually break up?

“I have some bad news,” Dustin felt his breath hitch. “Me and Steve… Are no longer boyfriends.” Eddie finished sadly, letting his head hang low. It was silent for a few seconds, and Dustin felt absolutely destroyed. He couldn’t begin to imagine how they felt. “Oh god,” He whispered, looking down at the screen. 

“That’s because we’re husbands!” Dustin’s head snapped up at the sound of Steve’s voice cheering the good news, and what was a low energy stream turned into something no less than chaos. “Oh thank god,” he said out loud, furiously typing in the chat ‘u scared the shit out of me!’ He watched with a smile as Steve and Eddie shared a kiss and showed off their matching rings. 

Eddie laughed at the chat, “Sorry guys. It was Steve’s idea to prank y’all.” Stve smacked him on the shoulder, “it was not Edward! That is slander,” he said, tone exasperated. “Okay, okay. So it was my idea.” Eddie finally relented. Dustin was positively giddy, the two really were perfect for each other.

“We did vlog the proposal and the reception for you guys, it’ll be up right after the stream.” Steve said, grinning. He and Eddie answered a few questions from the chat before eventually ending the stream, Dustin waiting with baited breath for the vlogs to be released. As soon as they were, Dustin launched the video. It opened with Eddie pacing nervously and Robin, who was presumably behind the camera, was trying to calm him down. “Is it too soon?” “It’s been three years, Ed. It’s perfect, he’s gonna love it.” Robin reassured. The video cuts to Eddie and Steve on a beach, they were a bit far away, Dustin guesses Robin was trying to record the moment inconspicuously. He watched as Eddie led Steve to a quiet area, shells and rose petals arranged ever so. He could quietly hear Steve comment “This is so beautiful,” and watched as he spun, facing the beach. Eddie took this moment to get down on one knee, “Steve,” He began, Dustin spotted Nancy on the other side of Eddie, taking pictures, he guesses. Steve turned around, putting a hand over his mouth in shock. “I have loved you ever since I did that 12 hour stream and Dustybun04 recommended your channel, and I am so glad I listened to him.” Dustin paused the video briefly, giving himself time for a minor freak out at the fact that Eddie mentioned his name. “Steve,” Eddie grabbed his hand, “Will you marry me?” Dustin watched as Steve nodded, laughing slightly, tears streaming down his face. Eddie stood, pressing a kiss to his lips, both of them wearing matching smiles.

It was only a moment before the video continued. He watched with great amazement as Steve too, got down on one knee, still holding Eddie’s hand. Eddie was already saying yes, and laughing before Steve could even pull the ring box from his pocket. “Well. It’s obvious we both have amazing timing,” Steve said, giggling, tears still streaming down his face. “Eddie,” He began, sniffling, “You know I love you, I don’t want to live a life without you in it. Will you marry me?” Eddie laughed, “Uhh. Let me think about it,” He joked, before nodding enthusiastically, “Yes, of course. Please.” Steve slid the ring onto Eddie’s finger, before standing, pressing another kiss to Eddie’s lips. At this point, Dustin was also crying, and he only cried harder when Robin and Nancy popped out from their hiding places to congratulate the two. Dustin wiped his eyes, sighing fondly. 

After a few seconds of Robin and Nancy hugging Steve and Eddie, the video cut to what looked like an absolute rager which Dustin could only guess was their reception. The camera panned to Steve and Eddie both dressed to the nines in their suits, “We’re married now bitches!” Steve shouted, the crowd of people cheering in response. The rest of the video was comprised of Eddie and Steve having a blast at their wedding, Dustin watched, smile growing painful for how long he’s held it, they danced, they partied, and Steve even threw the bouquet.

The video faded before Steve and Eddie popped up on the screen. “We’re so happy we can share this moment with you guys, and in fact.” Steve grabbed Eddie’s hand, “It was all because of you guys that we met really, so. Thank you. From the bottom of our hearts.” Steve said, looking at Eddie like he hung the stars. “I’m usually not this sappy but we really do owe it to you guys that we even met. I don’t want to know a life without Steve, and y’all made it happen. I can only hope each and everyone of you meet your Steve.” 

The video ended with the two saying bye, and promises of regularly scheduled content as soon as they got back from their honeymoon. Dustin sat back in his desk chair. He couldn’t believe it had been three years since they started dating, Dustin had still been in high school. He felt like he grew up with them, and in a way, he kind of did. It was a wonderful moment to see the two have a happy ending, and it gave him hope for his own current relationship (of whom he met at Vidcon, in line for the corrodededdie merch line), he really thinks he found his Steve. And he couldn't be happier.

[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 154 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: apple cutting + sitting thrilled on the couch.

Ah yes, I remember it so clearly when I heard that episode the first time. I was almost done cutting apples, but I didn't quite feel satisfied after MAG 152 and 153, those are statement that were a bit subtle for me. So I thought "Okay, I'll give one more episode a shot" (even though the episode title didn't sound particularly interest-piquing) and then it’s a Gertrude tape and I had some problems following a lot of Gertrude statements before, I don't know, her voice makes me sleepy xD And I was already prepared to drift away during this episode again and felt a bit demotivated. But I kept going. Well, best fucking decision ever. As soon as I realized she's reading from the Catalogue of the Trapped Dead I was like "Ohhhhh!"

JON: "And I started to pay attention to the ones I… wasn’t drawn to. The tapes I instinctively wanted to discard." That's very clever, go against what the Eye wants!

JON: "There was one, this one, that my hand… pulled back from. I dropped it, twice, when I went to pick it up." Lol, that actually sounds funny. Like "Whoops! I dropped it... Woaa, dropped it again, ahaha, clumsy me."

JON: "I am the avatar of awful knowledge and revealed secrets." Oh Jon, you theater kid!

GERTRUDE: "“When he opened his eyes, he of course saw nothing" Ok, she already read that part and still couldn't guess what was necessary to quit. Already talked about this in MAG 111 - because of this I think those memory-ghosts of the Catalogue work like the appearances of people plugged into the Matrix, a mental projection of their self. How they most liked seeing themselves. So when it comes to depicting Book!Eric, I think he'd still have intact eyes. Cause he says he "destroyed them completely", I can't imagine how one could not see that, if the appearance is the same as in the moment of death.

I love how similar Eric and Gerry sound, and I don't think it's because of the ghostly echo. After all, we do have a recording of Gerry without that effect. Very good VA choice!

ERIC: "I know that I’m not really Eric; I’m just a memory someone wrote down. It hurts, most of the time." Primarily it's probably meant to be an effect of the Catalogue's nature, of the Fears just doing their job. But I guess the knowledge of not actually being you also makes it weird and uncomfortable. Sometimes I think about that, like what are we anyway? Isn't the memory of oneself's entire life basically what makes one that particular person (+ hardwired personality probably)? Because it still matters on which hardware we run. Otherwise, how would we explain body dysphoria?

ERIC: "You too. (beat) You got old." GERTRUDE: "Better than being dead." ERIC: (short sigh of a laugh) "Fair enough. To be honest, I’m impressed, more than anything. Hard to get old in this business. You either die, or you, uh, stay young. (short, uncomfortable pause) …How did Mary look?" GERTRUDE: (same sort of short laugh) "She got old, too." Well, let's see, this is in 2008. My educated guess from MAG 35 was that Gerry was born sometime around 1983 or 1984. Perhaaaps 1985 when we'll go with the most extreme numbers from MAG 35. We don't know when exactly Mary killed Eric, Eric says he left the Archives months before she killed him. So, Eric died.. what? 1984 or 1985? So he hasn't seen Gertrude in over 20 years! He probably saw Mary a few times since she summoned him to bounce off ideas of him. But even if she kept doing that for a few years and then stopped, 15 years would still be a long time with visible changes^^

ERIC: "And Gerry? Have you seen my son?" Nawwww... He actually calls him Gerry, like he always wanted friends (and probably loved ones) to call him.

ERIC: "Yeah, it doesn’t feel great. But being dead, I s’pose you don’t feel things quite as strongly. Little bit – flat." Ha, flat like a piece of paper!

ERIC: "Elias? Elias Bouchard, seriously?!" GERTRUDE: "Hm, he’s changed a lot." <.<

GERTRUDE: "So. What did they not want me to know?" ERIC: "I quit." GERTRUDE: "You – Sorry, you quit?" ERIC: "Yeah. I figured out how." Well, on my first listen I was sitting at the edge of the sofa at that point, staring wide-eyed at the TMA logo in the YT video on screen.

ERIC: "You know, you were never actually all that nice to me when I worked for you, Gertrude. Not like Michael, or Emma." Hahahaha, very good, let her dangle a bit! I'd like to say I'd do the same but I know that in the end I never want to give people, one: what they did to me, and two: something they could hold against me in return.

Eric: "I don’t know what she saw in me, not really." Not-really counter of S4: 20!

ERIC: "You were almost there, you know, with your theory that James could watch us from any eye, even an illustration. What did you do? How did you sever that link?" GERTRUDE: "My God!" Yeah, at that point I said "Fuuuuck" out loud... My spouse was sitting on the couch next to me was like ?? and I just kept saying "Fuck" over and over again. First: Eyes are one of the body parts I find the most horrific... I can watch every body horror torture splatter movie without problems but when it's about eyes... Fuck off! If I'd be in that position I'd be like "Yeah, you know what, I actually like the Archives! Screw that, y'all go ahead and do what you must do, but keep me out of it." Second, I love moments like this in fiction! The last one like this I remember was when I read The Last Wish (The Witcher) by Sapkowski, specifically The Lesser Evil. When that innkeeper (or whatever that guy was) explained what happened in Tridam and it dawned on me what Renfri was about to do (just like it dawned on Geralt in that moment. I love having the same reaction like characters. When I can discover huge things alongside them).

[TAPE CLICKS ON.] [JON SIGHS HEAVILY.] JON: "Fuck." [TAPE CLICKS OFF.] Yah, same...

JON: "I know. I know what you said, but I just – (inhale) I think I’ve found a way for us to leave the Institute." [BRIEF PAUSE.] MARTIN: "O-kay…?" JON: "Yeah. But it’s – (heavy inhale) It’s pretty drastic." MARTIN: (hah) "What, you going to gouge your eyes out, or something?" [BEAT.] MARTIN: (gets it) "Fuck off!" Such an iconic piece of dialogue xD

MARTIN: "Erm… like, I mean… permanently? Or…" This has the same energy as answering "In general?" to the question of "Haven't seen a dog, have you?"... Those idiots^^

JON: "But we could leave here, you and me. Escape." Eeek <3

JON: (squawk) "Uh, I, I don’t know. I don’t – know. But… maybe it’s worth it? The risk – y-you and me, together, getting out of here –" [MARTIN SNIFFS.] JON: "– one way or another." MARTIN: "Jon." Double Eeeek <3

So what's going on here has a name, URST or UST. It stands for UnResolved Sexual Tension, although I don't like that term cause it's just as well used for unresolved romantic tension. Especially when we're talking about a couple with an ace character, or when it's used in a show for minors about minors (Miraculous is a textbook example). So basically it's a trope to keep suspense going on by having all kinds of obstacles to keep the love interests from actually getting together, usually also having them pine after each other over and over again + once in a while giving them a scene in which it looks like they finally get somewhere. Full disclosure: I'm a sucker for that trope. I loved that in Inu Yasha, I love this in Miraculous (although it's getting a bit destroyed by all the What-if-episodes with a subsequent time reset or memory wipe) and of course I love it in TMA.

JON: "I mean, whatever their plan is for me, I am damn sure that doing that isn’t it. I’d derail everything – we could derail everything, and then just – leave!" Time travel fix-it for TMA is extremely difficult because you basically have these powerful forces which had it all planned out. I think there are actually two points in TMA where it could really take a very different turn. One of them is here. If Jon blinds himself, he won't belong to the Eye anymore and can't complete the ritual. And given what Annabelle says in MAG 197 it sounds like Jon will even survive being cut off from the Eye. (There’s of course still the problem of just going ahead with a new Archivist, so it’s only a temporary resolve...)

MARTIN: "Nothing; It’s just – (one more laugh) It’s just ironic, that’s all." That's totally in the sense of "At any time before taking Peter's deal I would have run away with you in a heartbeat. But back then you never came to me and now when you do it's me who won't do it"-ironic, right?

@a-mag-a-day

[construingseacats]

Umireread: Turn of the Golden Witch - Chapter 4: Chessboard Preparations

Sat, Oct 4 1986

The following contains spoilers for the entirety of Umineko. Please do not read if you are yet to finish it.

It feels odd to generalise Umineko too broadly, but I can’t help but feel there’s a sense of Episode 1 introducing the themes of fantasy in a mostly positive light, with Episode 2 looking to focus on adding nuance to the theme with well reasoned opposition. After all, if you kowtow to all of a child’s whims and delusions, they become spoiled and resistant to resistance. Rosa’s improper utilisation of fantasy with Maria has had clear repercussions; arguably, it may have made reality even worse for the both of them.

This one’s tough. Is Rosa wrong to be offended? …It feels like the intrinsic answer is yes, but I’m not so sure about that. There’s certainly something to be said about how even pure or innocent intentions can cause undue harm unto others. I suppose it falls back, again, to how feelings aren’t necessarily invalid just because they’ve been ‘reasoned’ incorrectly.

And now for our regularly scheduled child abuse.

It really can’t be understated how much your real life experiences are reflected in anything you write. Being able to speak and conjure voices from first hand accounts make everything feel so much more real. These scenes are always so uncomfortable to read, but you can tell they’re as powerful as they are because of Ryukishi’s history as a social worker.

Again, even here - writing a scene like this is hard in the first place, but being able to add the appropriate nuance of the abuse - Rosa’s heartfelt reaction as if it were involuntary - really makes it sing.

Knowing how Episode 2 ends adds such an extra layer to this as well, because we can juxtapose what’s going on here with Rosa’s true, limitless love for her daughter. Also man I can’t wait to dig into worldenddominator again.

What a reaction to your WIFE, Krauss! Clearly a marriage of love, this one.

Ryukishi is channelling a little too much Victor Hugo with how much he likes to go off and explain random concepts that he knows about and wants to teach to us all. Thanks for the economics lesson, but let’s be real, this is ultimately fairly unimportant to the overall plot and/or message.

Natsuhi engaging in some casual magic with Krauss here, because that statement is most certainly not grounded in any sort of reality.

This is funny every time it happens. And they go on to say that Genji and Nanjo are on their side immediately afterwards.

As someone who didn’t figure out the “Kinzo was dead all along” twist before it was revealed, I can only imagine what it must be like to have worked it out by the end of Episode 2, only to be whammed by the scene of him attending the dining room in Episode 4.

Hi Gohda!

It’s interesting how many things were left to fate for this. You can’t exactly plan for things like a typhoon to coincide with the date of the conference. I wonder how many elements would have to fall through for Yasu to decide to call it off? Or would she be committing to this no matter what?

Rudolf seems like the type of person to pick the urinal next to you and then compliment you on your manhood.

If nothing else, it’s clear to see where Battler got his charisma from.

It’s wild how long it takes us to get back to Battler in Episode 2. That was nearly 5 full chapters, if you include the prologue.

Very fun how a lot of this scene is taken from Episode 1, feeling almost like a direct one-to-one recreation, but then you get hit with the halloween motif from Maria to make you realise that something’s up.

Like some sort of man from 19 years ago, perhaps?

So the shrine was destroyed a few months prior to the meeting - I suppose that means either our thoughts about the symbolism in the prologue are wrong, or the whole thing took place over the span of a few months. On the one hand, that’s not too unreasonable of a suggestion - it means George would have ran quick into a marriage proposal, but it’s not like Eva wasn’t trying to do that to him already. On the other hand, we have the supposed Kinzo appearance and George still being at college, so I’m more inclined to discard our initial thoughts about the breaking of the mirror being a representation of the bombs being tested. A shame if so.

I know it’s because they were meant to look like regular business offices, but the background here really feels like the scenery of a Yakuza office. That wouldn’t feel too off for Rudolf’s characterisation, honestly. Actually, being blunt, it makes you think about the importance of some characters having the one winged eagle tattooed onto them; similar to the earlier point about the guns, it’s easy to overlook as a westerner, but for the mid-80s the Yakuza connotation of the tattoos would be very prevalent. I wonder how much Ryukishi actually wanted to lean into this idea of a shady side of the Ushiromiya - I suppose it wouldn’t be much different from his work with the Sonozaki in Higurashi, though.

Rudolf channelling his inner Battler by being forward with great confidence without any real evidence to back him up.

Poor Ange. I suppose she had just been born before the conference six years ago, but still, it must feel bad reading these notebook fragments about how all your cousins were complete again without you.

Is this a case of Nanjo ruminating to himself about the Epitaph? Moreso, regarding Yasu’s plans to use it?

I love how they’re playing with characters interpreting the sea and sky colours all differently. Honestly, it’s interesting to note that the Alchemist sprites have most of the Ushiromiya family’s eyes as grey, and yet Beatrice’s are blue. Even if that’s not part of the original tale, isn’t that a beautiful detail?

Tohya will read and write these tales for as long as he needs to. Endlessly, if required.

It’s shocking how long it takes us to actually get to this part, but nevertheless - Game 2 is afoot.

[itsbrandy]

Burnout Chapter 5

A/N: We finally get to learn the woman's name! I imagined when she meets Dieter, he's in this super comfy looking outfit. Flailing his hands about and she can't stop staring at them. He makes me weak looking like this.

Word Count: 5.5k

End of Episode song: Weak For Your Love - Thee Sacred Souls

Chapter 5: Bee

For the first time in her life, she found herself in the very same room as Dieter Bravo. Her current obsession, the man of all men, and most importantly, the man with whom she had started to envision living life with in her new ideal. 

Her daydreams were filled with him and now he was here. He was real, tan, and laughing with his makeup artist right in front of her. 

The table of food in the back of the conference room was not appealing to her at all, but still she made it her mission. Trying as hard as she could to not look at Dieter (as if it was humanly possible to even do such a thing), she focused instead on the croissants, cupcakes, veggies, and dip that awaited her. 

Staci rescued her from her own thoughts by asking her about her sick day, but the questions didn’t exactly save her. She still had to lie to her coworker and hide the events of the day prior. 

“I just had like a head cold,” she lied easily. “Didn’t want to sneeze on the pastries or anything.”

“I get it,” Staci said emphatically. “Plus, you work harder than most of us here. You deserve a day off. Did you cuddle up with your man on your day off?”

The woman flushed deeply, grateful for the other conversations in the room covering up theirs. She didn’t want Dieter to hear that there was another man in the picture, even though that man was her long-term boyfriend and puppy co-parent. Let alone the fact that she was feeling completely disconnected from her partner. 

She was hesitant to share her relationship problems with Staci, but she had also spoken to Staci before about how she wished they could get out more. Staci knew that she was dissatisfied with her partner’s affinity for being a homebody. 

“We’ve been having some trouble,” the woman admitted with a grimace. “So, not really.”

“Oh no, girl what?” Staci asked, guiding her past Dieter and the other stars. “What happened? Do you need to talk about it at all?”

That was not her goal. She distinctly didn’t want there to be a chance that Dieter could overhear them speaking about her partner. Her words sat in her mouth delicately as they crossed in front of the cast. Staci cut between the lead female role and a supporting character, making the conscious choice to not go past Dieter himself. 

“I’ve just been feeling like my life needs more,” she decided on. It was an accurate statement and probably more true than other things he could have said. “I’m just looking for more than what I have right now.”

Staci looked back at her as she approached the snack table. “Huh,” Staci said. “So, it’s a you thing then?”

Staci grabbed a plate for her and handed it over. She then grabbed one for herself. 

“Thank you,” she said. The woman shrugged in response to Staci’s question. “Yeah, I guess so. You know I love working here. It’s a dream job.”

“But it isn’t your dream?” Staci filled in the gaps while she loaded raw carrots and ranch dipping sauce onto her plate. 

“It’s not,” she agreed. “I wanted to do something different before…” The mini blueberry muffins were calling her name, so she placed two on her plate. 

“What was that?” Staci asked her. “Your dream?”

The woman shrugged, not wanting to profess her desire to be an actress in the same room as some of her favorite professionals in the industry. 

“I don’t really want to talk about it. It’s kind of silly,” she admitted. Looking at the table before her, she looked for a way to change the topic of conversation. “Wow, those madeleines look gorgeous.”

“I made them,” Staci said with a bright smile. 

She grinned at her. “Of course, you did. Did you come in early?”

“I mean, if you knew yesterday that you’d be baking for Dieter Bravo…” Staci trailed off, knowing how she would answer. “Wouldn’t you?”

The woman laughed. She would have been, she would’ve been here all night trying to impress him with her expertise. Or maybe she wouldn’t have been. She might have been too nervous to even show her face if she had advanced notice of Dieter’s visit. 

“Maybe,” she conceded, stealing a glance back at Dieter now that they had passed him successfully. “I like my sleep though.”

Staci smirked and finished up her plate. There were carrots, dip, chips, and a couple of cookies filling half of her plate. “Want to go sit in the corner?”

The woman followed Staci’s eyes to two chairs in the back corner of the conference room. They were completely out of Dieter’s view; she could only see the back of his perfect hair sitting in the chair. 

He tilted his head to the side, allowing his makeup artist to see his face better in the professional light that had been set up around the room. 

The makeup artist dabbed at his cheeks, lightly melting concealer into his dark circles that no one knew existed. But she knew now, he had perfect skin that just needed to be gently applied to accentuate his natural beauty.

“Wow,” she said under her breath. She shook her head slightly in disbelief. There was no way that human beauty on this earth should just be allowed to exist like that merely feet away from her. 

It was unfair. She couldn’t help but feel like whatever power that be was laughing at her from wherever they made their omnipotent residence. Dieter Bravo was being dangled before her like beef jerky in front of a hungry dog. 

Staci took a crunchy bite of a ranch-loaded carrot and observed him as well. The makeup artist started to apply clear brow gel to his eyebrows, aligning them just so.

“I know,” Staci agreed with her mouth slightly full. “What a man.”

The woman concurred and started to eat her mini muffins. She carefully unwrapped each of them to drive off the nerves before she ate. Even though Dieter wasn’t watching her, she still felt self-conscious eating in the same room as him. 

She felt insufferable and slightly embarrassed that she felt so insecure in front of him. In her real life she was confident, she wouldn’t change the way she spoke to a man or the way that she carried herself even if she was interested in them. 

Though she had never felt like a supermodel, the men that had been in her life had pursued her. And even the actor that approached her in Whole Foods the day before had approached her. But something about Dieter Bravo had her reverting to girlish tendencies. 

She had last felt this way in high school, unable to function as a human person because of a boy. It was a terrible lesson taught to young women that they needed to make themselves smaller in order to be loved and valued by men. She wasn’t allowed to eat. Wasn’t allowed to take a drink, wasn’t allowed to burp or laugh too loud or make foul jokes. 

But none of that was true. And she hadn’t followed those practices that had been so culturally ingrained in her since she was a child. Instead, she existed as herself, genuinely. 

Keeping this in mind, the woman rolled her shoulders back to loosen her form of the nerves and allowed herself to slouch a bit and eat her muffins. 

Who was she kidding? Her circumstances for meeting these superstars were already less than ideal. She had barely slept, had tear-stained eyes and was wearing one of the least flattering garments known to man. 

Her bright white culinary outfit was hardly a shape hugging pair of leggings or a red carpet gown. There was no way that Dieter or anyone else would be able to regard her as an equal here. Though she and Staci had been in the room for nearly ten minutes now, no one had so much as looked in their direction. 

“These are good too. Did you make these also?” she asked Staci. “I haven’t had muffins this good in ages.”

“Yup,” Staci said with her mouth full of food. “Aren’t they good? I wish we made muffins for scratch for the Parks. They’re so easy.”

“They would be hard to theme though,” the woman said sadly. “Or maybe not. With a little bit of decoration, you could sell them as a little trio of muffins. Mad Hatter’s Muffins, Moana Muffins, Maleficent Muffins…”

She listed more alliteration names which were common for Disney treats, but she wasn’t certain where blueberry muffins would fit in. There were many practical snacks within the Disney parks but most of the sweet baked goods were more elaborate. 

The appeal of treats that doubled as advertisements for both the Parks and the movies themselves was the very reason why Dieter Bravo and the rest of the main cast of the newest Star Wars show was sitting in their conference room. 

The woman looked up again and Staci’s face looked stunned. “What? Maleficent Muffin not good?” she asked. 

Staci shook her head and excused herself, dashing out of the conference room and into the hallway as quickly as she could. “Bathroom.” was all she said. 

“I’d like a Moana Muffin,” a smooth, deep voice said from the woman’s left. Someone at the snack table had said it. 

The woman looked over, her head turning in what felt like slow motion as she turned to face the man that had overheard their conversation. As she turned her head, she saw that the chair in which Dieter had been sitting was now empty. 

And sure enough the man that was standing at the snack table was none other than Dieter Bravo himself. He was tall and his warm skin looked somehow darker under the office-building fluorescents. Or maybe he had gotten tanner since the woman had last seen him photographed. 

His eyes were just as kind and playful as they were in digital form but here, he was real. He was real and he was looking at her. His gaze was something she could only describe as sultry, but she doubted that he meant it to be. 

He looked at her like he was considering her next move. Almost like a chess player evaluating his opponent. And damn, it was sexy. 

“Oh yeah?” she replied, not sure of what else she should say to him. Her tone was suggestive, also by complete accident. 

“I think that would be a nice treat. Maybe some blue icing on it. Just like little waves?” Dieter held one of Staci’s miniature blueberry muffins in his hands. She couldn’t help but notice how nice and strong they seemed to be. His long fingers traced where he would position the waves on the muffin itself. 

“That’s a good idea, actually,” she said with a smile. “I’ll have to add it to my list of themed baked goods.”

She felt her face flush deep and hot at his gaze. It was insistent. She could feel it, he wanted to talk to her. He deposited the muffin onto his empty plate.

“Well, only if you credit me, of course,” Dieter said with an easy grin. “Waves by Dieter...you at least have to give me something.”

The woman shrugged. “I did come up with the name though.”

Dieter laughed easily and the woman found herself feeling slightly dizzy. 

“Then it was a joint effort. You and I both,” he said. 

Without letting the words sit in her mind, the woman smiled back at him like he hadn’t just “you and me’d” her. He had no idea how much she loved him, how much of her life she dedicated to him at the moment. And somehow, he had her sitting in his very hand over some mini muffins that her coworker had made. 

“Well, if you make it, I’ll eat it,” he said diplomatically. He spooned some chips onto his plate as well and grabbed a tiny bottle of water to complete his small snack arrangement. 

“I didn’t make them, actually,” she admitted. “My coworker, Staci, did.”

Dieter took a bite out of the top of a mini muffin. “It’s good. But I bet you can make them twice as great.”

The woman shook her head ‘no’. “Staci’s just as good as me if not better.”

“Humble,” Dieter said simply, before tossing the rest of the mini muffin in his mouth. He quickly added a second one to his plate to replace it.

Her brows knit together in confusion. She had heard the word ‘humble’ but she didn’t understand what he meant by that. Staci was talented too, there was nothing wrong with admitting that. 

“Sorry?” she asked.

“You’re humble,” he repeated. “Disney picks you as one of their star bakers and you don’t think you can make a better mini muffin?”

I would do it for you, Dieter, she thought to herself. I would make ten thousand mini muffins for you. Holy shit.

“I would try to,” she admitted. Though the subtext of her words was known to only her. 

“That’s better,” Dieter said, grabbing a napkin and flashing her his white teeth. “There’s that confidence and drive.”

“Sure,” she conceded, though she felt conflicted on whether or not she was truly confident and driven. At times she felt like she only moved forward in life on pure survival instinct. 

“You aren’t confident and driven?” he asked flirtatiously. “I must have the wrong person.”

The woman blushed at his compliment and fiddled with the food on her plate. “You don’t know me.”

Dieter pressed his lips into a line and looked at her curiously. “You’re right, I don’t.”

As soon as he agreed with her, he walked away with his full plate of food and joined his costars, leaving the woman reeling with the realization that she had just blown her first ever conversation with Dieter fucking Bravo because she couldn’t accept a compliment properly. 

No one ever compliments me! She thought angrily. I’m not used to it, what else am I supposed to say?

“I have a chair available for you, Miss,” one of the makeup artists said to her. She was cute and had curly bright pink hair. “I promise that I won’t bite.”

The woman smiled at her and stood to deposit her plate in the trash. “I believe you.”

She then crossed the conference room with the paranoid feeling that Dieter was watching her as she walked. 

“I’m Becca,” the pink-haired makeup artist said with her hand extended. She shook it and took a seat in the chair. 

“You have gorgeous skin,” Becca said to her, looking it over and starting to craft a custom foundation shade. “I would say that all you need is light coverage, but I want to get you a good blend for TV.”

The woman smiled. She didn’t mind the special treatment. Her threshold for complaints in the negatives. There was nothing that could truly bother her about the opportunity to appear in a recorded segment with her favorite actor and celebrity crush. She only hoped that Staci hadn’t let her nerves get the best of her when she saw Dieter Bravo eating one of her muffins. 

“Gorgeous eyes too,” Becca mused as she applied the foundation and blended it seamlessly into her skin. 

The woman relaxed as Becca blended product after product into her skin, setting layers and adding details and perfecting her work. 

“Your face is really made for the screen. You have so many natural angles and contours.”

“Really?” she asked. 

Becca nodded. “You’ve heard of how the camera adds 5 pounds right?”

“Mmhm,” the woman agreed. 

“That’s much less likely to happen to you because of how clear your bone structure is. Other people, they can look like they have a circle for a face unless you contour them properly. Your face kind of just does all of the work for me. I’m just following your natural lines, girl.”

“Oh wow,” she said, keeping her eyes closed as Becca applied product to her forehead and nose. “So, are you saying that I’m meant to be a star?”

Becca laughed. “Honestly, yeah. You’re making my job easy.”

“Well, that feels good,” the woman admitted. “If I ever wanted to go into acting, do you think I would have a pretty easy job?”

Becca was silent for a moment, sending the woman’s confidence plummeting downward. “I think so. There needs to be more representation for Asian women in acting. I always just see the same old faces on the screen. No offense, you know.”

“No, I know,” the woman said. “I totally agree.”

“Hey,” another voice interjected. Even with her eyes closed, the woman knew that it was Staci returning to the room. She opened her eyes and saw Staci standing before her. 

“Hey Staci, what’s going on?” she asked as Becca put another layer of powder on her face. “Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just kind of nervous,” Staci admitted. “But they called me back in here to start doing hair and makeup.”

To her right, another makeup artist waved in Staci’s direction. “I’ve got you right over here, doll!”

“Thank you,” Staci said. “Sorry that I was late.”

“It’s totally okay,” Staci’s makeup artist said, beckoning her over. “I promise you; we totally understand that it’s intimidating being around celebrities. I’ve been doing this for almost 15 years, and I still am not used to hanging around A-listers all day. It never gets easier, I promise you.”

“I don’t know if that makes me feel all that much better,” Staci admitted, gaining laughs from all of the people that had been in the vicinity. 

“It does make me a little sick to my stomach too,” the woman admitted. Her own makeup artist was starting to work on her eye makeup, brushing light browns into her crease and winging out her lash line just slightly. 

Becca handed her a mirror after she completed her handiwork and the woman looked at her eyes in awe. She had managed to define her eyes well without whitewashing them and she looked absolutely stunning. From feeling like she had gotten into a car crash this morning to looking flawless, she was thoroughly impressed with the makeup artist’s handiwork. 

“I’m sorry about my hair,” she said as Becca moved toward her messy bun. She had done it in the car, trying to avoid having to brush it. Of course, now someone else was going to be dealing with her mess of tangles and knots. At least she had thought to shower. That much she was grateful for. 

“It’s fine, girl,” Becca said. “We just need to get this back into a tighter bun. Production wants a slicked back bun for you.”

The woman nodded. She liked to have a few pieces hanging forward just a touch to give her a “messy baker” look, but she understood the desire to have her appear professional and rigid like the chefs that people associated with Disney were. 

As Becca started on detangling her hair with spray and a comb, the Star Wars actors began to filter out of the room and into the hallway. 

“Are we running late?” the woman asked. “Why are they leaving?”

“We have a tour before we start shooting,” Dieter answered as he passed her chair. He looked at her and Staci and winked. “Looking great, ladies.”

The woman looked at Becca wide-eyed. 

No way did Dieter Bravo just wink at me, she thought. There was no way that had just happened to her in real life. The actual real life Dieter Bravo had not only spoken to her twice, but he had winked at her.

“Oh my god,” Becca said, releasing a breath after Dieter and the rest of the cast had exited ear shot. She started combing at the woman’s hair with more intensity. “I can’t believe he just- wow.”

“I know,” Staci agreed. “Isn’t he just the hottest man you’ve ever seen?”

Becca laughed. “Yeah, he is. Girl, I’m a lesbian but that is a man.” 

“Did he talk to you?” Staci asked her. “Like when I had to leave? About the muffin?”

“Yeah,” the woman admitted. “He did. He talked to me about his idea for a Moana themed muffin.”

Staci sighed. “No way. I just couldn’t do it. I’ve been obsessing over that man for I don’t even know how long, and I just couldn’t sit there and have to talk to him.”

“What are you going to do for filming?” the woman asked her. “Won’t you have to?”

Staci smiled sadly at her. “I asked to switch. You’re with Dieter now instead of me.”

The woman swore she could feel her heart stop beating in her chest and then kickstart again like the motor of a gas lawn mower. It slowed to a screeching halt and then chugged up once more with all of the drama that the comparison implied.

“I didn’t even know we had groups,” she said breathlessly. “I thought it was just bakers and all of them in one room.”

Staci shook her head ‘no’. “Nope. There’s going to be one group segment, but the tastings are going to be two stars to one baker.”

“And now I’ve got Dieter,” she deduced. 

Staci nodded. “Now, you’ve got Dieter. And you better not ask to switch back. I could not handle it. I would embarrass myself in front of the entire world.”

The woman laughed. “There’s no way the entire world is watching a segment on the new Star Wars treats at the Disney Parks.”

“Maybe not the whole world, but anyone who likes Star Wars will probably watch,” Becca pointed out. 

The woman glared at her. “Becca, you’re not helping us out here on the nerves front.”

Becca laughed and continued her work on the woman’s hair. “Okay, fine. But there still will be a lot of people watching. This is a really cool opportunity for both of you.” 

The woman nodded and closed her eyes once more. She didn’t want to think about it. Her acting career needed opportunities like this but the pressure of having to interact with her celebrity crush was crippling how she would normally approach a situation like this. 

If it wasn’t Dieter Bravo, she would still be nervous. But if it wasn’t Dieter Bravo, she would also know how to do this. With him, she didn’t know how to act.

The next time that she saw Dieter was back in the employee locker room of the bakery. It was really a private space, but Disney seemed to want to give more of a behind-the-scenes look at the bakery even though the lockers had nothing to do with baking. There she quickly explained the design process and showed off one of her many notebooks with brainstorming ideas. 

She explained that usually, her boss would tell her about a movie or tv show that Disney wanted to promote with a dessert or meal in the Parks. Then, she would begin to sketch out some ideas for recipes taking into consideration the many possible locations in the Parks that they could be served at. 

“The recipes are mostly our own here but sometimes we get directions that are more specific. It’s still such a fun and collaborative way of making food that thousands of people get to enjoy as they come to the Parks,” she explained, locking eyes with Dieter as she did. 

They had been instructed specifically to ignore the many cameras surrounding them for this portion of filming. 

“I get such satisfaction hearing about how fun people find it to eat desserts and snacks inspired by their favorite characters and films. Our treats are part of what makes Disneyland magical. You can only access these special desserts right here in the Parks,” she continued. 

“Cut!” someone yelled, and the woman found herself relaxing her posture. 

“Alright, that’s a wrap on the opening segment. Now, let’s divide into our teams and head to the two test kitchens,” the producer said with a demanding clap of his hands. 

“Oh my god,” Staci said, her eyes wide with excitement for her work friend. 

She was going to film with and interview The Dieter Bravo. 

“Wish me luck,” the woman said with a sad smile. She was both eager and nervous to be nearly one on one with Dieter, but she was sad that Staci felt like she couldn’t do it. They had bonded together over their love of him. 

“Oh my god, you’re going to do so great.” Staci said.

The other star that she had been assigned was one that she wasn’t too familiar with. Her name was Amanda, but other than that she wasn’t really sure what her role was supposed to be within the show. In fact, she barely knew what the show was about. She had been told about the Star Wars promotional desserts more than six months in advance of their launch in the Parks scheduled for next week. 

She stayed silent and within her own mind while she walked to the test kitchen where she would meet with Dieter and Amanda. The two stars trailed behind her as the group walked, talking among themselves about an event that was coming up. The woman tuned it out. She was jealous as it was that Amanda talked to him effortlessly. 

What she would give to be Dieter’s equal. 

“Alright, quiet on set,” someone said from behind her.

“Hi Amanda, hi Dieter,” she said, as instructed. 

“Hello!” Dieter said happily, taking a seat at the bar height seat across the table from her. Amanda echoed his greeting with a smile so perfect that the woman thought her teeth must be veneers. 

“Tell us more about yourself,” Dieter said as planned. This was as far as what had been scripted for this exchange and the woman felt her heart thundering at the improvisation aspect of this segment. “Before we get into the desserts, I want to know about the baker behind the creations.”

“Sure!” the woman said happily. “I grew up in Northern California and I have two fur babies that I love with my whole heart.” 

“There’s no way that’s it,” Dieter protested. “What else is there to know about you? What did you want to be when you were little?”

“An actress,” she replied effortlessly. 

“Oh wow, really?” Amanda asked, leaning forward in her seat. Her tone was condescending, but the woman kept her true feelings from displaying on her face.

She laughed instead and kept the tone of the conversation light and airy. “Yeah but of course, it doesn’t work out that way for everyone. Dreams change and my dream changed to making amazing creations for Disney lovers of all ages.”

It was a lie, but she sold it as the truth. Though this job had been a dream of hers for a time, it was not the dream like acting was. Something about Dieter’s expression told her that he knew she was bluffing. 

Instead of calling her on it, he grinned at her and then turned to a camera that was trained on him. 

“I love nicknames,” Dieter said to the camera. The woman watched as he played up his charm and intrigue. He was somehow just as mysterious as he had been back at the snack table but he was much more animated. He then looked back at her. “Nicknames are such a great way to get to know a person. Finding out what their friends and family call them is so interesting.”

“Nicknames are great,” she agreed. 

“What do people call you?” he asked. He stretched his arms out and leaned forward onto the table of the test kitchen, eagerly awaiting her answer. 

“Um,” the woman said, pursing her lips and trying to think of an appropriate nickname. 

There were plenty of pet names from both her current partner and her ex, but none of them would be suitable for the camera. Babe, sugar, etc. weren’t exactly PG. “I’m not sure.”

“There has to be someone out there that calls you a great nickname,” Dieter insisted. “I know that there is. You seem like you have great nicknames.”

There was one. But it had been retired from use for quite some time. And it was embarrassing. With the pressure of having the camera on her and the hesitancy to admit that she had no one around her that gave her genuine nicknames, she picked it. 

“Bee,” she confessed. “My mom called me Bee after I found out that I was allergic. But she doesn’t call me that anymore.”

Dieter looked pleased at the answer. “Let’s revive it then.”

The woman blanched. She didn’t want Dieter Bravo to call her by her childhood nickname, but she could hardly tell him that him calling her Bee didn’t align with her sexual fantasies of him. 

“Okay,” she said, smiling for the camera’s benefit. 

“Alright then, Bee,” Dieter said. “Show me what you have in mind for our new show. What is going to give Disney Parks guests the best experience? Which one am I going to have to beg you to make me over and over?”

She resisted the urge to blush and utterly melt at Diet’s insistence on using her silly childhood nickname and insinuating that she would bake specifically for him… and that he would beg for her. 

Ugh! Stop it! she scolded herself within her own mind. 

“Are you asking me to start with the best one?” she asked him with a coy smile. The desserts were all lined up on a shelf at knee-height behind the counter. 

“Yes please,” Dieter said eagerly. 

“I’ll take anything you have to offer,” Amanda agreed. “We’re just excited to eat something!”

Amanda was lying, obviously given the entire star-caliber snack table that Disney had laid out for them. Still, she reached down and brandished two plates with two Star Wars themed jelly donuts. They each had a galaxy pattern for icing and a tiny white chocolate spaceship atop them. 

“These are the Galaxy’s Edge Donuts,” she announced, placing one plate in front of Dieter and another in front of Amanda. “They were created here in this very test kitchen. With galaxy vanilla icing and lemon galactic filling. The small ship on the top is a handmade white chocolate mold.”

Dieter grabbed for his donut eagerly and took a bite of it before groaning at the delicious taste of the snack. She felt her heart flutter at the realization that Dieter Bravo was moaning while he ate food that she had baked for him. Well, she hadn’t baked this batch, but she had made the recipe and designed them. 

“I love this one,” Dieter said with his mouth still slightly full. “Did you create this one, Bee?”

“I did,” she said proudly. “What do you think, Amanda?”

“I love it,” Amanda lied. “I don’t usually like lemon in desserts but this one truly is out of this world.”

“Oh, I disagree, I love lemon,” Dieter said defensively. “Bee, you know how to make dessert. I have no doubts you could do anything you set your mind to. I bet if you auditioned for a movie role right now you’d get it too.”

She flushed deep red at the compliment, hoping and praying that the full-coverage foundation that Becca had mixed up would cover her blush. She knew Dieter was a sweetheart without even knowing him, but she had never imagined that he would be this sweet. 

“This one is a hit, guys,” Dieter said to the camera. “When you’re in the Parks next, you’ve got to stop by and get yourselves one. I know this is going to be my new go-to.”

“Oh, but Dieter you haven’t tried the others!” she protested. 

He laughed and referenced his now-half eaten donut. “I don’t know how you top this!”

“You did ask me for the best one first,” she reasoned. “But I have two more great desserts to show you that I designed.”

Dieter clapped his hands together and Amanda let out another fake giggle. 

“Bring it on then, Bee,” Dieter said happily. 

“We want more!” Amanda agreed. “What’s next?”

“Cut!” the producer said, startling the woman out of her next move. She had planned to lean down and procure two plates of the next dessert. “Clear these plates out of the way and take a few minutes before we do the next round. Which ones are next?”

“The-the cookies,” she stuttered, shaken out of her confident streak.

“Okay, cool,” the producer said. “We’ll start again in two minutes. Drink some water, all three of you."

She complied and couldn’t help but watch as Dieter drank out of his small sized water bottle. She loved how he looked holding small things. It made his hands look massive. She wondered how her small hands would look with her fingers intertwined with his. 

“You okay, Bee?” Dieter asked her after he had swallowed. “You’re doing amazing, really. I think you’re a natural at this.”

“Yeah,” she said, feeling the heat rush to her face once more. “I’m doing just great. Thank you, Dieter.”

She knows Dieter Bravo now. 

And he’s the only person in the world that calls her Bee. 

Chapter 6 | Series Masterlist

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 112

Swan Song

“Swan Song”

Plot Description: with the apocalypse looming in a showdown between good and evil, Sam and Dean realize they are out of options

Can we take a moment to appreciate that there’s an episode called Swan Song a THIRD of the way through the series. I know the lore is that this was supposed to be the series finale, but like…….there’s TEN MORE SEASONS

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: would I survive writing? Or drinking beer? I think so…yeah.

Dean speaking for ever shorter older sibling calling Sam overgrown. Thank you, Dean

God…maybe I was wrong about surviving the first five minutes because I’m dying rn just watching it

Omg…I can’t with them. Sam’s trying to make Dean promise not to try to bring him back if they actually get Lucifer back in the cage in Sam’s body

How DARE they make me laugh by making Cas lie in the worst and fakest way but because Sam asked him to

Hold on, how do you drink FOUR GALLONS of demon blood and not have to pee EVEN A LITTLE immediately after. I’m asking the real questions here

Cool cool cool, now Lucifer’s got the keys to his cage. Good job, boys

No Dean, not with the tears. I can’t handle it

No. I’m sorry. You don’t get to just tell Sam that he felt out of place in his own family when it was your fault and your dad’s that he felt that way in the first place

That’s so unfair to Sam that he’s been yanked around by demons his whole life

Oh…sure. Literally rip them apart. Why not??

The Chuck interludes are so jarring. Everything is going to shit in real-time, but his prose is so peaceful.

Imagine if you could just call god on your cellphone and reach him on his landline…that would be fuckin wild

But like…WHY DO YOU have to do this??? Oh cool. *I* am asking the same questions Lucifer is. Awesome

So…my brain? Can’t turn off the part that wants to compare this to last year’s Todobros showdown. It’s um…it’s certainly something. It doesn’t totally match up nicely(/not really at all except that it’s two brothers fighting because of an overbearing yet somehow absentee father. Their sentiments get muddled)

I didn’t realize “Hey, Assbutt!” was this close to happening…RIP for now to both Michael and Castiel

Bobby, no. The colt doesn’t work on the devil…you just got yourself fucking killed

This is extremely hard to watch (Lucifer beating the shit out of Dean in Sam’s body)

Oh…this montage of all the times they shared in the impala that give Sam the strength to fight off Lucifer for even a minute. It’s just long enough to open the cage back up.

Bye, Adam. Sorry Sam and Dean left you down there for the rest of the series

Cas got his angel mojo back. Dean asking if Cas is god…there are thoughts I cannot grasp

Aw and Bobby’s back

Chuck writing about how hard it is to end a story and how fans will always bitch about loose ends. AMAZING

This would have been a very powerful and really touching but so sad series finale.

“Nothing ever really ends, does it?” Is the truest statement about this show to ever be said, and I can’t believe it’s IN the show

Mmmmmm, and now our first look at soulless Sammy

“Been On My Mind…”: I mean…Dean does go to Lisa’s at the end as he promised Sam he’d do

[skwangly-fingers]

Chazz was definitely born evil. Granted I feel like his dad definitely left him to get some milk (or maybe is just always on a business trip like Chazz is some kind of anime protagonist) so his stressed mom is single-handedly raising him but still

side note since I didn’t really talk about Seymour: I can’t remember if the show established if he was around before Beau Handsome (should probably rewatch the one episode they’re in together) but I feel like either a.) he was the only game show host in Fair City, but when Beau showed up with a very popular show, his desperation to try and stay the best led him down a slippery slope as he became more and more underhanded or b.) he saw Beau’s success, envied it, and followed a similar career path using underhanded tricks to make himself as successful as possible (without any real regard for the career he had taken). Personally I’m partial to the latter theory. I just feel like there were missed opportunities for more Beau vs Seymour. I know he’s not technically established in Fair City but I kind of imagine he was born there and so despite moving around that’s why he always kept coming back.

Mr. Big: Clearly it’s got something to do with his name. He’s literally rebranded his name to be the opposite. We see him in the past with things like his music career (can’t remember if we’re supposed to view it was successful or not) so being a business man was not the first thing he tried. He also gets so upset over not being the biggest/richest. It’s his motivation in “Big Business,” where he is desperate to have the tallest building in the city and goes to pretty great lengths to try. (I could make a joke here. I could, but I won’t. If you know you know.) I think it’s got something to do with insecurity. He’s so secretive about his squishy bunny thing even before anyone in Fair City makes fun of him for it that I feel like he must’ve been made fun of/bullied for it when he was younger. And instead of talking to his neighbor (Susan?) about the casserole dish, he decides to mind control the whole world, which suggests that for some reason he cannot (or will not) just ask her straight out. Maybe because he was bullied in the past for that kind of thing? (Is this really extrapolating? Probably. Do I care? No not really I’m a genius 😤) It’s clear that he’s talented, since despite a number of his things being stupid, he’s able to sell them pretty well. Granted, it’s hard to say definitively since he’s also using mind control and also the Fair City citizens share one collective brain cell, but it does seem like he’s genuinely charismatic. Also he’s not a total idiot because it sure seems like he’s the one that invents the actual mind control tech. So yeah, smart enough to create literal mind control stuff?? Kinda got side-tracked there but yeah basically I think he turned to crime/villain-y because of insecurity. Not sure when in his life he started using mind control stuff - it was before he started Mr. Big Inc. because mind control is in the mission statement? Business statement? It’s in some company statement that’s mentioned I think in multiple episodes. But also unless I’m mistaken we know he wasn’t using it during his music career. I like to imagine maybe he figured out mind control tech in school and so made a few faulty attempts to use it, then tried to be on the straight and narrow only for it not to work out, so he turned back to evil.

Leslie: I mean we see her progression in the show to the worn down, sarcastic woman we know (and love) so tbh I kinda believe she was just a normal lady till she applied for her job at Mr. Big Inc. and just…decided that she’d be okay with the mind control side of things (maybe was even like “well if I’m working for him then at least most of the time I shouldn’t have to worry about being mind controlled by him”). Like yeah most of the time she’s the brains to make sure the plans are executed, but even then, she doesn’t seem that concerned with actually succeeding (especially since Mr. Big at least half the time doesn’t tell her the motivations for what they’re doing). And you know what, good for her getting herself a steady career that…well I’d say it pays well but in one episode I think she asks Mr. Big to start paying her so I’m not really sure what she’s working for, maybe he comps her meals and living space or something idk

WordGirl Backstories

okay so my theories/headcanons/what have you for the villains (disregarding Dr. Two-Brains, the Coach, and Lady Redundant Woman)

The Butcher: born with his powers, I agree with you that I think Kid Potato is the main reason he became a villain/criminal

Tobey: I think it was first for attention from his mom, and then a.) he enjoyed it so he didn't stop after it worked and/or b.) he decided to continue so that he could get WordGirl's attention

Rhyme & Reason: Rhyme was always getting into trouble as a kid, Reason was her friend, she accidentally got herself much more serious trouble and Reason helped her get out of it, it just spiraled from there

Chuck: in "Chuck the Nice Pencil-Selling Guy" when Mr. Callahan asks what his last name is, Chuck says his last name is Guy after he goes through his whole name (Chuck the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy) so I like to imagine that he just...was destined to be a criminal because that's his name and he probably got made fun of at school

Miss Question: I feel like she was a part of some crime group beforehand. maybe she was in charge of distracting people/reconnaissance/something question related yanno

Granny May: she was born evil

Seymour Orlando Smooth: he was also born evil

Yes agreed 100%

Granny may was absolutely born evil. Like chazz

What about Mr big why he evil

[bookshelf-dust]

a camaro and a tree.

billy hargrove x gn!reader

word count: 2,764

warnings: swearing, innuendos/billy being a flirty asshole aka being himself, mentions of neil, fluffy/lovey shit

a/n: hii :)) happy holidays! i hope that you’re enjoying whatever you celebrate, and if you don’t celebrate anything, i hope you are enjoying life in general. i’d been tossing this idea around and around in my head for forever, and i finally wrote it! i really hope you enjoy it. billy and readers first christmas while living together? yes, yes i think so. i love you all! <333

————

“You know, there’s a whole ass couch that you could be spread out on in any way you please, Hargrove. I’m not entirely sure why you must splay yourself out on me.”

Billy shook the bag of Skittles in his hand around, presumably looking for the red ones. Those were his favorites, and he insisted they were better than all the rest, though you were adamant that a random handful of them was just as good—no need to be picky.

Billy crossed his legs at the ankles in response to your statement.

The both of you were sat on the sofa in your living room. It had started out with you curled up on one side, but the moment you stretched your legs out to settle on the coffee table, Billy had appeared. It was like he had a Spidey-sense.

And now he was on the other end, legs stretched out over top of your own. This is after he’d lifted the blanket from you to tuck his legs in with yours. Only he had shorts on, so now the warm skin of his calves was stuck to that of your thighs.

Billy was continually sinking further into the couch, and now snatching a pillow out from under your ass to put behind his back.

You rolled your eyes at his continued use of your space. He was surely making himself comfortable.

“You’re like a fucking house cat, you know that?”

Billy let out a breath of a laugh, eyes now on the television.

Maybe it wasn’t very “adult” of you to watch Full House during your free time, but Uncle Jessie had good hair (you seemingly had a type), and Stephanie had an excellent sense of humor.

It was more of a surprise that Billy put up with it at all, since he wasn’t keen on Growing Pains, and liked to stubbornly pretend he didn’t enjoy The Golden Girls. But he laughed at both Dorothy and Uncle Joey, no matter how many times he’d try to deny it.

He also requested you fill him in any time he missed an episode because he was home late from work.

You snuck your hand under the blanket to rub up and down Billy’s leg, fingers tracing from below his knee and across his thigh. He hummed his appreciation.

Eyes wandering from the tv, this being an episode you’d already seen, you realized how empty your living room looked.

Now maybe that was partially because the both of you did not have an abundance of furniture—a couch, a table, a stray oversized chair—but also because it was those slow few days before December began and you didn’t have a tree up.

This was the first Christmas that Billy and you would be spending in your shared little apartment, and you were rather excited about it.

Christmas hadn’t always been peaceful at home, for either of you, people being picky or whiny or just assholes in general.

But living with Billy made you feel whole. You felt safe with him, and he you.

It was just that this time, Christmas was up to you. You could do whatever you wanted and cook your favorites, or maybe not even at all. You could decorate however you pleased.

You turned to Billy, watched as he lifted his arm, pulling the chain on the floor lamp next to him, muscles shifting under the yellow light.

“When do you want to get a Christmas tree?”

He set his Skittles down, pulled his legs out from under your blanket. He propped his head up against the back of the couch with his arm, looking dreamily at you.

“You mean like buy one? I don’t imagine picking out a boxed tree is gonna be that hard.”

You sat up. “Ha! Oh no, baby, we are not getting a fake tree.”

You watched his brow furrow. “I’m pretty sure we dragged the same shit tree, box and all, from California to Indiana. Neil Hargrove was not keen on the idea of having to take care of a me, let alone a tree.”

You grimaced, and he continued. “You want to pick out a real one?” He tracked the movement of your head, your excited nod. “I’ve never done that before.”

You sat up on your knees. “It’s fun! We did it every year. Sometimes we’d pick one that was too tall and we could barely get the star on. I guess I thought we’d get to pick one out too. But if you’d rather an artificial one, that’s fine Billy.”

His hands found your face, callouses rubbing at your cheeks.

“No, sugar, a real one is fine. I assume you know where the hell we go?”

————

It took some driving around, but eventually you wound up at Merrill’s, wandering through the lanes of pines with all the other families and too loud children.

Billy walked behind you, hands stuffed in the pockets of your coat. Not only did you have little hand warmer packets, but Billy had yet to get a good pair of gloves.

He had finally relented and started wearing layers when it snowed, though that did not mean he’d done it without pouting.

So now, as the both of you sidestepped a stray toddler barreling through the thin layer of powder on the grass, the only bit of him that wasn’t actually warm were his hands.

You walked him to the shorter section of trees, thinking about how small your home actually was.

“What do you think about this one?”

You reached through the branches to grab hold of the the trunk, pulling it out and spinning it around to check all the sides.

“Stand next to it,” you told him.

“Sorry?” he questioned, obviously confused.

“You’re my size reference. Don’t,” you raised a hand, stopping him because he’d already opened his mouth, “make a dick joke. You can touch the ceilings when you raise your hands, so this is my measuring, okay?”

“Yes ma’am.”

Billy gave you a two finger salute and moved next to the tree, it being just about the same height as he was. “Good?” He raised his eyebrows in question.

“Yep.” You heaved the tree back into its place, glancing at the aisle number before meandering through to look at a couple more.

Most of them were too tall, and because of that, too expensive. Even some of the shorter ones would’ve cost a pretty penny because of how nice they were: perfect shape, a dark, rich green, branches thick with needles.

“I think I liked that first one best, baby.” Billy’s breath was warm against your neck where he’d leaned over your shoulder to speak, what with a family of six standing right next to you, chatting exuberantly.

“I was thinking the same thing, Mr. Hargrove.”

You grabbed hold of his belt loops, tugging him along with you in search of your first tree.

Luckily, it was still there, and you made sure to put your hands on it, because there was a frightening looking woman eyeing it from across the way.

You hugged the tree, which brought out that sweet sweet laugh of Billy’s. “Let’s get this one then, huh?”

You nodded before pulling away, realizing you now had tree sap in your hair, not to mention an abundance of needles that you’d probably still be brushing out later.

Billy retrieved a cart to set the tree on, and you watched him lift with ease, wishing that was you he’d thrown over his shoulder.

“You’re staring.”

You pushed the cart towards the tree-trimmer, ignoring his statement.

Billy’s hands snuck up to the back of your neck, and then he was tickling you, cold fingertips dancing across your skin.

“Ignoring me now?” His voice was gravelly from the chill in the air, throat gone dry.

“Never. But I think the staring is allowed when we live together. You’re much too pretty for me.”

“I am gorgeous, aren’t I?”

You rolled your eyes at him, knowing you’d set yourself up for that one, and he planted a chilly kiss to your temple.

————

The drive home was short, but slightly terrifying. The Camaro was not built for having a tree tied to the top of it, and you were fidgety the whole trip.

Billy glanced your way before he pulled into the driveway. “You doubt my rope-tying skills, Y/N? Frankly, I’m offended.”

You opened your door before he could, which only spurred him on.

Billy pulled a pocket knife out from the glove compartment, flicking the blade open and cutting the ropes on your side of the car.

“I think we both know I excel at tying things up.”

“Billy,” you groaned his name, holding onto the tree so it wouldn’t slip while he cut the other side.

You could hear him laughing to himself, clearly enjoying his ability to fluster you.

The both of you slid the tree off the roof of Billy’s car, and he tossed you the keys.

You ran up the few stairs, unlocking the door and propping it open before going back to help him bring it inside.

While you were halfway through the door and feeling brave, you spoke. “You better behave yourself or we’re gonna find out how good my rope-tying skills are, Hargrove.”

You set the tree down, flying back out the door to get the stand out of the car before he could say anything.

Upon your return, Billy grabbed you by the waist, pinning you against the freshly closed front door.

“That’s not really threatening when you know I’d let you do whatever you wanted.”

You could feel yourself burning, and you tried to bury your face in his chest, but he caught your chin, quickly pressing his lips to yours.

When he pulled away his lips were that devastating shade of pink, and he was looking at you like you were everything in the world and more.

“Don’t go all shy on me now,” he propped his arm against the wall above your head, “now that we live together and whatnot.”

You grinned at him, and he kissed you silly for it.

————

It took a few days, but the tree had been successfully watered and kept alive, though it was still bare of any ornaments.

The lights had been easy to choose at Melvald’s, and Joyce had helped you pick out some she liked to put outside too.

So, gradually, both Billy and you had been bringing home a menagerie of bulbs and things for the tree, determined to make it your own and not have some shop-window-looking thing in your home.

One afternoon Billy gets off work early, but comes home to find you out and about, having left a note on the counter for him.

When you do come home, he’s in pajama bottoms and an old shirt, staring into the fridge like something’s going to hop out and prepare itself for him.

His face lights up when you emerge into the kitchen, arms immediately reaching for you, but you stop him with a raised hand. He practically frowns.

“I got you a prize, Billy baby.”

He propped his head up, hand under chin. “A prize?”

You nodded, wrestling with the bag on your hip, finally pulling something free.

“Hold out your hands.”

You plopped a small ornament into his hands. Specially a square one that looked like a vinyl sleeve, the tip of the record itself sticking out the side.

The sleeve was black and red, tiny writing across the top that said Metallica. It looked like the Kill ‘Em All album.

Billy looked up at you, eyes glossy. “Where’d you find this?”

“At the record store. They had a big tree with assorted ornaments for popular bands on it, I thought you’d like it. Do you?”

You watched as Billy flipped the ornament over in his hands, ran his thumb over the edge of the little black record, the top of the sleeve.

“‘Course I fuckin’ like it, baby.” He was giving you that prize-winning and swoon-worthy smile. The one you tried to tell yourself didn’t work on you. But that would just be a lie.

He scooped you up in his arms, squeezing you tight, lifting you just enough that your feet left the floor.

“The guy at the counter gave me a discount since we come in so often. Got myself one too.”

Billy set you down, walking to the living room to find a spot on the tree for his prize.

“I don’t get to see that one too?”

“Well yeah, sure. I was just excited about yours.” He watched you reach down in your bag for the other ornament you were supposedly housing. Sometimes with the way you searched for things in there, Billy thought you might as well be Mary Poppins.

You pulled out a simple gold ball that had the Queen logo on it in a black glossy film.

“That’s cute. Can I put it on?”

You nodded your assurance, watched dreamily as he put in on the tree.

Part of you couldn’t help but picture a smaller, much younger version of Billy doing the very same thing. Maybe with his mother.

“What’re you thinkin’ about, hon?” Billy’s voice broke you out of your stupor.

“You. What Christmas might’ve been like for you when you were younger. I was gonna ask if you even like it at all or if you’re just doing this for me.”

Billy continued to decorate the tree, opening a pack of Scooby-Doo ornaments that he’d found the other day—all five of them and a small Mystery Machine.

“Hold out your hands.”

You did, and Billy placed the ornaments along your palms so he could slip hooks in them.

“I do like Christmas,” he started, put Velma on the tree. “It was just always an ordeal, you know? First with my mom and Neil and then Susan. What we were gonna eat, if we had the money for presents at all, if I deserved anything.”

Shaggy and Scooby went up. Then Fred.

“It was just miserable, I guess. Everything was always such a big fuckin’ deal. But I don’t know, I guess I liked the atmosphere, or some shit? I guess the world feels a little more calm this time of year, though I know it’s not.”

Daphne. The Mystery Machine.

“And when we were in California and had to go see the little bit of extended family that we had, it was always ‘Billy you better behave,’ or ‘Don’t be an disrespectful,’ or anything that made sure I wasn’t going to fuck things up.”

“So I don’t think I ever had a chance to enjoy it. Not until you.”

He was silent for a minute plugging the lights in on the tree. “I better not turn around to see you giving me those watery eyes.”

He spun around, locking eyes with you. “No dice, huh?”

You shook your head. “Can I have a hug?”

Billy didn’t respond, but scooped you up his arms anyways. “You can have a hug whenever you want, baby.” He pressed a warm kiss to your forehead.

Billy’s hugs were all-consuming, the kind where there isn’t anything else in the world except for him. He tucks his cheek against your temple, wraps one arm around your shoulders and the other your back, hands rubbing all over, running down places they shouldn’t.

“So you liked your ornament, really?” Your voice was muffled where you face nuzzled his neck, metal chain warm on your nose.

“Yes. I love it.” His hands found your face, pulling you up from the safety of his chest.

“I love you, you know. And I meant what I said about enjoying this with you. Because I am.”

You pushed your hands under his shirt, the fabric coming with it because of how your arms were raised, trying to leech the heat from him.

“Kiss?” Billy was using that sultry tone, the one that made his words all slow. The one he used to butter you up.

“You can have a kiss whenever you want, baby.” He rolled his eyes at your mimicking of his earlier words.

You planted your lips firmly against his, enough that he sighed into it, breath warm on your face. You kissed him once, twice, three times before you pulled away, looking up at him, his lashes kissing at the corners, frown lines forming because you’d let up.

“I love you too, you know,” you told him, and his mouth was back on yours within the second.

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33