#i’m full of hard hitters rn

[writers-worst-nightmare]

No brains (Dabi x reader)

Ask: Daddy Dabi s/o is a crackhead with zero brain cells

Pairing(s): Dabi x reader

Warning(s): large amounts of cussing (there are lyrics of WAP for most of it what did you expect?), crackhead energy, Dabi just giving up, 18+ themes (minors dni please), deaf Bakugou

A/N: absolutely anon! I would love to do this! (I have so many ideas running through my head rn lol) AND ignore if it says “Aishi” instead of you I got this from my oc x canon fanfiction

Request are always open!

“Hahaha look at your face!!!” You exclaimed, pointing towards Dabi as he tried to open a champion bottle and helplessly failing.

“You wanna try?” Dabi challenged, still struggling to open the bottle.

“No.” You admitted, just when the League couldn’t possibly get any more chaotic the whole bakusquad came.

“SUP BITCHES!” Mina yelled on the top of her lounges, popping open some wine with Denki, Sero, Jiro, and Kirishima following closely behind.

“How the hell did you do that?!” Dabi asked as he finally popped the lid off, the corkscrew went flying in the air and hit Bakugou. Bakugou smacked Dabi across the face and sulked in the corner.

“I don’t need to know sign language to know what that means.” Jiro stated, her index finger flicking in the air like something was going to fall out of the roof on her command. Dabi flipped the purple haired girl off, Jiro rolled her eyes and focused on getting the food out of the way. She gently laid down some pork and smiled at the villains.

“Why the fuck did you bring pork?” Shigeraki asked, finally un-glueing himself from Deku and going right in front of Jirou.

“Pork means good luck and wealth if you eat it on New Years.” Jirou answered carefully.

“We’re going to need that considering that you guys keep attacking us!” Kirishima added, not wanting to be left out on the conversation.

”we attack you guys so much because it’s fun!” Toga cheered, her yellow eyes scanning the bar. “Is Izuku here?” She inquired, Bakugou just the door open and scoffed at Toga’s attitude.

”No, he just jumped out the window.” The ash-blond teased. Toga growled before leaping forward and trying to stab Bakugou, Bakugou skillfully dodged and tripped Toga with his feet. Toga scowled before leaping on top of him, but she was stopped by Dabi holding her torso.

“LET ME AT HIM DABI!!! I’LL TEAR HIM APART!!!” Toga screeched as she tried to get away form his grasp. Dabi rolled his eyes as he held Toga back, bored out of his mind.

“Later.” He responded, chucking Toga on the couch. Toga landed on Spinner and the two then argument amongst themselves.

*later with Y/N*

”Come oooooon!!!” You whined, dragging Dabi out and getting him in the car.

“Champion, you know I love you right?” Dabi asked, you nodded her head as she started the car and buckled yourself in.

“Yep!” You exclaimed, putting a lot of power on the ‘p’ sound.

“But we talked about this…not driving.” Dabi stated more sternly. You rolled your y/e/c eyes and started driving anyway.

***

”Y/N/N YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE ME THROW UP!!!!” Dabi yelled, you shrugged her shoulders as you broke every speed limit there was imaginable.

“Oh look the cops are chasing me.” You commented as you pointed to the back window of the car where several police cars were chasing after Dabi and you.

“OH GOD!!!!” Dabi exclaimed, rolling brown the window and throwing rocks at them.

“Since when do we have rocks in the car?” You inquired, your calm and squeaky voice not even comparing to Dabi’s frantic and deep voice.

“SINCE YOU STARTED DRIVING!!!” Dabi countered, you hummed and started playing “WAP” on full volume as she started singing along.

I said, certified freak Seven days a week Wet-ass pussy Make that pull-out game weak, woo

”y/n you bitch stop singing to tiktok songs and help me!” Dabi begged, you ignored your boyfriends cry for help and kept driving. Pushing the speed limits a little further each time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, you fucking with some wet-ass pussy Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass pussy Give me everything you got for this wet-ass pussy

You ignored as the cops yelled some gibberish and kept singing. The citizens turned and saw the police-chase, some laughing at you and some joining in on your singing.

Beat it up, nigga, catch a charge Extra large and extra hard Put this pussy right in your face Swipe your nose like a credit card Hop on top, I wanna ride I do a kegel while it's inside Spit in my mouth, look in my eyes This pussy is wet, come take a dive Tie me up like I'm surprised Let's role play, I'll wear a disguise I want you to park that big Mack truck Right in this little garage Make it cream, make me scream

Everyone in the sidewalks soon joined in your singing as the younger teens pulled out their phones and recorded her to put it on their tiktok’s. Dabi was still having a mental break down as he screamed on the top of his lounges that the cops where still after him.

Out in public, make a scene I don't cook, I don't clean But let me tell you how I got this ring (ayy, ayy)

”You where fine at first until you forced me to date you then you showed your true colors.” Dabi answered, everyone in the crowd berth into laughter along with you. Soon, Dabi reluctantly joined in on the singing.

Gobble me, swallow me, drip down the side of me Quick, jump out 'fore you let it get inside of me I tell him where to put it, never tell him where I'm 'bout to be I'll run down on him 'fore I have a nigga running me Talk your shit, bite your lip Ask for a car while you ride that dick (while you ride that dick)

the cops started slowing down and the cool cops joined in in on the singing while the grumpy cops yelled at the citizens and threatened to arrest them.

You really ain't never gotta fuck him for a thang He already made his mind up 'fore he came Now get your boots and your coat For this wet-ass pussy He bought a phone just for pictures Of this wet-ass pussy Pay my tuition just to kiss me On this wet-ass pussy Now make it rain if you wanna See some wet-ass pussy

as the chorus came around again everyone sang even louder. Laughter filling the area as they saw the funniest nonsense that belonged to the villains.

Look, I need a hard hitter, I need a deep stroker I need a Henny drinker, I need a weed smoker Not a garden snake, I need a king cobra With a hook in it, hope it lean over He got some money, then that's where I'm headed Pussy A1, just like his credit He got a beard, well, I'm tryna wet it I let him taste it, now he diabetic I don't wanna spit, I wanna gulp I wanna gag, I wanna choke I want you to touch that lil' dangly thing That swing in the back of my throat My head game is fire, punani Dasani It's going in dry and it's coming out soggy I ride on that thang like the cops is behind me I spit on his mic and now he tryna sign me, woo

Everyone practically screamed the ‘dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat’ part, the music from the radio now drowned out by the people who have memorized it word-by-word either eagerly or reluctantly.

Your honor, I'm a freak bitch, handcuffs, leashes Switch my wig, make him feel like he cheating Put him on his knees, give him something to believe in Never lost a fight, but I'm looking for a beating In the food chain, I'm the one that eat ya If he ate my ass, he's a bottom feeder Big D stand for big demeanor I could make you bust before I ever meet ya If it don't hang, then he can't bang You can't hurt my feelings, but I like pain If he fuck me and ask, "Whose is it?" When I ride the dick, I'ma spell my name Ah (whores in this house)

Dabi started recording on his phone while people sang the bridge and sent it to the ‘League Of Villains’ group-chat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, you fucking with some wet-ass pussy Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass pussy Give me everything you got for this wet-ass pussy Now from the top, make it drop That's some wet-ass pussy Now get a bucket and a mop That's some wet-ass pussy I'm talking WAP, WAP, WAP That's some wet-ass pussy Macaroni in a pot That's some wet-ass pussy, huh

As the song came to and ended some people stopped recording but to there kept recording. Dabi got a text from ‘Ash Child’

Ash Child: What the fuck?!

Dabi: y/n started running from the cops and out on this song

Chapstick🧴🧴🧴: I already heard this song enough!

Blood rat 🐀🩸: I said certified freak!

Spinner: That’s it I am removing Toga from the group chat

Blood rat 🐀🩸: but whyyyy

-blood rat🐀🩸 was removed from the group chat-

People starting listening to the blasting radio as the song came to an end.

(There's some whores in this house) (There's some whores in this house)

[lucacangettathisass]

JOUST (Chapter One)

SUMMARY: Following a mix up that would only be funny if it were happening to an anime character, my Japanese host family turns out to have only a son, who I will also be rooming with at his school, Shiratorizawa Academy. Christ knows how it could get any worse from here.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: None

TAGLIST:@youidiot91 @meemsx @squishyrobbie @total-insanity @oneshotofvodkaa @moons-and-stars-and-shit

NOTES: I really want to thank everyone who has shown an interest in this fic, it really means a lot! I can’t gaurantee an upload schedule as things are weird rn, but I’ll try to upload as often as possible. So, without further ado, here it is!

And if you want to be added to the taglist just lmk!

CHAPTER ONE

Do not, as some ungracious pastors do,

Show me the steep and thorny way to heaven,

Whiles, like a puffed and reckless libertine,

Himself the primrose path of dalliance treads,

And recks not his own rede.

-William Shakespeare

And the rest is rust and stardust

-Vladimir Nabokov

The oddness of the situation truly didn’t come to me until after I had landed in Sendai Airport, which of the two airports I have been to, was definitely the bigger and nicer one.

After flying for essentially twenty four hours, I was eager to stretch my legs, and I had to hold back my groans of satisfaction as I was finally able to move my body outside of the confined space of the plane. I navigated myself through the crowd, taking great pains to avoid colliding with anyone, and apologising if I accidentally got too close, until I came across an empty patch of floor beside a wall, where I proceeded to stand. At that moment in time, anything seemed better than sitting.

Alone and away from the crowd, I dug into the Kuromi sports bag on my left shoulder, resting my My Melody carry-on against the wall, pulling out the folder I had made that contained the info on my host family, reading through it for the umpteenth time.

The Goshiki family, consisting of the father, Hideaki, his wife, Mayumi, and their son, Tsutomu.

That was the odd thing that had suddenly struck me. There was no mention of a daughter of any kind, or any other female relative that stayed with them. I had been too full of excitement and nerves to really think about it before, but now that I was, it did seem odd.

‘I wonder why a family with only a son would host someone from an all girls school.’ I tried to think of an explanation, but my brain was so fried from the flight that I could barely muster up anything. So I shrugged, put the file back, and went on to find the luggage check in.

When I arrived at the luggage carousel, I was surprised to see a family of three there, holding up a sign. A sudden, strong feeling came over me, and I looked up at their sign. It read Welcome Cody Smith, in tall, proud kanji. This was them, it had to be. So, seeing little other options, I approached them.

“H-Hello?” My voice cracked a little due to nerves, and I quickly cleared my throat, scrambling to remember the Japanese I had learned. “I’m Cody.” I bowed quickly, and as deeply as I could manage without completely falling over. “Thank you for welcoming me into your home.”

There was a pause, and I felt my face heat up in the heavy silence. I slowly stood back up, looking over their confused faces.

“I-I’m sorry.” A middle aged man, who I assumed to be Mr Goshiki, said, rather awkwardly. “We...well we were expecting a uh…boy.”

I blinked, trying to quickly translate what he had said in my head, and process it. “Oh.” I said, because I really didn’t know what else to say.

“Hideaki!” His wife scolded, clearly unimpressed with her husband’s bluntness. She turned to me and smiled kindly, although even I couldn’t miss her blush. “It isn’t your fault honey.” She assured me. “Tomu, say hello.”

I turned my attention to the son, who struck me as having intense Rock Lee energy, and not just because of the bowl cut. He looked serious and determined, with a furrowed brow, like he was about to go into battle or something. He bowed, just like I had, but with...conviction, somehow, if that were possible. “I am Tsutomu Goshiki!” He declared, so loudly that a few people were staring. “And I am honoured to be your host brother!”

Startled, and even more sure of the Rock Lee comparison, I could only stare down at him, a boy who I knew was the same age as me, yet seemed to want to carry himself with the dignity and seriousness of a man his father’s age. “Oh. Um. Hi.” I only barely managed to get the word out, a little bewildered at what I considered to be an over the top greeting.

He remained in his stance, upper body perfectly parallel to the ground, as I continued to stare. I saw him lift his head a little, and his eyelids flicker. I tilted my head to the side a little so I could actually see him without my chest obstructing my view. We maintained eye contact for a few seconds, before he stood up right again, practically snapping his body into position with such speed and force that I actually felt a slight breeze. “Let me help with your luggage!” He said as a declaration again, as if this was something deadly serious. “Which bags are yours?”

“Uh, they haven’t shown up yet.” I nervously glanced around, noting all the looks from strangers.

“Calm down now Tomu.” Mrs Goshiki said, with a mother’s fondness, clearly used to this. “I’m sure Cody is tired.”

“Coco.”

“Hm?” Mrs Goshiki turned to me.

I started to blush again, and I looked down shyly. “I uh...I would prefer it if you called me Coco.”

“Oh. Alright then honey, sure thing.”

I looked back up at her and smiled gratefully. “Thanks.” I looked back at the luggage carousel, watching as one bag after another made its way around on the conveyor belt, waiting for mine.

“There you are.”

I walked up to the conveyor belt, hand outstretched to grab the bright pink, Hello Kitty suitcase.

“Let me!”

Before I could react, Tsutomu suddenly appeared, yanking the suitcases. “Is the other Hello Kitty one yours too?”

“Uh, yeah, but I can-”

Thunk!

I stood there, somewhat awkwardly, as Tsutomu stood there, one of my suitcases in each hand, looking so serious that it made the situation comical. “Allow me!” He said, already walking on ahead. “As your host brother, it’s my job to help you settle in and make things easier for you.”

Deciding that it would be more trouble than it was really worth to argue, I quietly followed, trying to ignore all the curious eyes. ‘I wonder if he would’ve done that if I was a boy.’

-

During the car ride back to the Goshiki residence, I listened as Tsutomu told me all about Shiratorizawa Academy. Since I was arriving only a month after the beginning of the school year, I hadn’t missed much, but I would still need to work hard to catch up.

(“It’s a really tough school.” He had said. “But you wouldn’t be sent here if you weren’t able to hack it, so I believe in you.”

“Thanks.”)

But he spent most of his time talking about the volleyball team.

Being utterly ignorant to all things volleyball, I had a hard time keeping up. I got that he was an outside hitter-whatever that meant-and that the Shiratorizawa team was considered to be the best in the whole Miyagi Prefecture. And, what’s more, their captain and ace player, Wakatoshi Ushijima, was considered the number one ace among high school volleyball players, and was even selected for Japan’s under 19 Youth World Championship team. Despite my lack of knowledge, even I was able to tell that that was a big deal.

“And this year we’re going to go to nationals and win!” Tsutomu said excitedly, and with such conviction that I wouldn’t be surprised if that alone won them first place. “Hey! You should see us practice!”

“Oh, uh, I don’t know.” I said, honestly surprised by the suggestion. “I don’t really know anything about volleyball so....”

“You can still just watch.” He insisted. “And I can introduce you to the guys so you’ll know more people.”

“Tomu…”

Tsutomu turned to face his mother, who was looking over her shoulder at us. Evidently, the use of the nickname was enough to get her point across.

I looked out the window, resting my forehead against the glass, watching a city I had only seen in pictures and video go by me.

-

I woke with a start, eyes wide, looking around so quickly that I banged my head. “Ow.” I looked up, and saw that I had hit the glass of the car window.

“Good timing.” Mr Goshiki said, the first words I heard him say since the airport. “We’re here.”

I blinked and nodded, stifling a yawn as I got out of the car. I went to the back to get my luggage, but Tsutomu already had it covered, taking my suitcases up to the impressively sized house. While I was reeling from his speed, Mr and Mrs Goshiki took my sports bag and carry-on respectively, leaving me standing in their driveway.

I had no other choice but to quietly follow them, up the path, and to the door, taking my shoes off immediately upon entering.

“You’ll mostly be staying in Shiratorizawa’s dorms.” Mrs Goshiki said. “But during the holidays and, if you like, the weekends, you’ll be here with us.” She went up the stairs, followed by her husband and son so, naturally, I went with them.

“This will be your room when you’re here.” She said, opening the door to a spacious bedroom. It was sparsely furnished, with only a bed, a small bedside table, a bookcase, and a reasonably sized vanity. “You can decorate it however you want.”

“Thank you.” I somehow managed to find my voice again. I turned to face the entire family and bowed again, a little deeper this time, hoping it would be enough. “You’re all very kind.”

Mr Goshiki chuckled. “It’s fine, you don’t need to bow.”

I straightened up, mumbling a small and embarrassed “Sorry.”

“We’ll leave you to get unpacked.” Mrs Goshiki said. “You’ve got your own bathroom through there,” she pointed to a door on the left wall, “and Tomu’s room is right across the hall. Hide and I will be down the hall on the right. You get yourself settled in while I prep dinner.” She gave me one last comforting smile and with that, the family filed out, Tsutomu closing the door behind him.

I let out a deep sigh, looking around the room, and back down at my bags.

‘Better not unpack too much if I’ll be staying in a dorm.’

-

About two hours later, there was a knock at the door, making me pause in my arranging of the closet in my new room. “Yes?”

“It’s Tsutomu.” His voice was a little muffled by the door, but I could definitely tell it was him. “Dinner’s ready.”

“Alright, be right down.” I got up and went over to the door, only to find Tsutomu was still there when I opened it.

“Did you need help with anything?”

“Oh, ah, no. I’m all good.”

Tsutomu looked like he was about to press the issue, but he seemed to think better of it, and simply went on ahead down the stairs. “My mum made ramen, don’t worry it’s vegan like you put on the form.”

“Cool.” I blushed, remembering filling out that field and now wondering why I did so, when I knew that it would no doubt be a hassle.

I followed Tsutomu into the dinning room, and the two of us joined his parents at the table, big bowls of still warm ramen in front of us. After a quick prayer we tucked in. I had no idea if Mrs Goshiki had any experience with vegan food before, but if she hadn’t, that made the ramen all the more impressive.

The noodles weren’t too firm, nor was the broth too rich. The mushrooms were perfectly tender, and there was just the right amount of vegetables and tofu to balance everything out. I already knew that I was going to find out Mrs Goshiki’s recipe and learn how to make it.

“So what made you decide to do this exchange?”

I looked up at Mr Goshiki and shrugged, swallowing down the noodles and mushrooms. “Just felt like something different I guess.” I idly swirled the broth around. “And, I mean, I’m interested in Japan, so I figured I would take my chance.”

“Really? Why Japan?”

‘Don’t say anime and look like a weeb don’t say anime and look like weeb don’t say anime and look like a weeb I swear to fuck if you do that shit I am shutting this whole operation down.’

“Mostly how different it is from New Zealand.” I said. “An entirely different culture in an entirely different continent, I don’t know, just the usual curiosity I guess.”

‘You live another day.’

-

Dinner passed with regular small talk, with the Goshiki family getting to know more about me and vice versa. I offered to help Mrs Goshiki with the dishes, but she insisted I ‘go right to bed and get some much needed rest’.

The only problem was, despite the fact that it was the middle of the night, I was still wide awake.

‘I guess this is jet lag.’

I stared up at the ceiling, waiting for my eyelids to droop, and for sleep to take me, but alas, it proved to be as evasive as ever.

Sighing in defeat, I got out of bed, went over to the bookshelf, and got back under the blankets with My Melody, and began to re-read Hamlet, again.

[hittcr-a]

— ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS THEN TAG 20 BLOGS YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER!

NICKNAMES: han. 

ZODIAC:  cancer

HEIGHT: 5′3″

TIME: 7:02pm

FAVORITE BAND / ARTIST:  muse, the struts, nothing but thieves, the go rounds, depeche mode, mcr, billy idol. uhm. so many much honestly. i’m getting into badflower and palaye royale. 

SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD:  somebody new -the struts

LAST MOVIE I SAW: the new guy

LAST THING I GOOGLED:  i do not remember

OTHER BLOGS: @hittertm, @maestrodarte. i was debating making a blog for my son beau.

WHY DID I CHOOSE THIS USERNAME: this is the url i said i needed if i was gonna make this blog. hitter was taken, but hittcr wasn’t and now i’m stuck like this.

FOLLOWING:  way too many but that’s fine bc i love you all

AVERAGE AMOUNT OF SLEEP: i try to get 8 but recently i’ve been getting 6.

WHAT I’M WEARING: booty shorts and a tank and i’m still dying bc it’s too hot. 

DREAM JOB:  museum curator, librarian, or a fucking actor. recently i’ve really been wanting to be a wrestler tho.

DREAM TRIP:  tuscany. 

FAVORITE FOOD:  fuck idk. i like all food. so much. I LOVE FOOD. 

PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS:  i taught myself a TINY amount of piano, and when i was in fifth grade i learned the flute. 

EYE COLOR:  blue

HAIR COLOR:  usually brown, but rn it’s dark dark brown with cobalt ends.

LANGUAGES YOU SPEAK:  lol just english. i was learning italian a little bit on dual lingo but have since stopped doing that. 

MOST ICONIC SONG:  i’mma just assume a song that means a lot to you. so for me it’s gonna be starlight by muse bc that’s the first song that really stuck with me. 

RANDOM FACT:  i live in michigan and i’m fucking melting in this 90 degree weather fucking kill me yo. 

DESCRIBE YOURSELF AS AESTHETIC THINGS:  mugs, a messy box full of nerd shit, my cat is a whole aesthetic ask me about him, coffee stains. a bowl full of sweets, messy bedclothes. idk it’s hard without being super gratuitous to myself. i’m a bump on a log what do you want.

Tagged: @cardshcrp Tagging: EVERYONE BYE.

[ohhicas]

What do you think James thinks of the other rogues? Maybe even other villains? (Sorry for all the messages abt james btw im just going on an og Trickster high rn and im scared to maybe message you off anon about him)

(I dunno why you’d be scared to message me off anon!! I’m honestly not that scary, lmao ;;;)

Just going off his “oh god what the fuck is this” in Underworld comments it really makes you think he knows of the existence of everyone, especially the heavy hitters, and wants nothing to do with any of them. Especially Gotham; it’s not really a place to make friends but a place to lie your way out of before they shoot you in the back of the head. I mean, besides Catwoman and/or maybe Riddler. But everyone knows Riddler just got confused and settled into the wrong city. 

sidebar, I need more James v Catwoman antics, but I know with the current theme in comics it’d be a full on het fuckfest instead of more jokes and teasing and “haha I knew who you were all aloooong and you couldn’t stab me when I wore your bra on my head” + hard respect for each other. They’re both just basic ass people who know how to do the splits and lie their way in and out of anything and I need them to be friends. 

The other Rogues almost seems to change by the day? Personal headcanon is he never truly liked any of them besides Mick and Piper, but he understood/respected/kind of feared the others to a variety of degrees. The hyper murderers though James didn’t seem to like at all, or those who seemed to have no respect for anyone/anything? Evan, Axel, Digger, possibly Len? Though I feel Len wasn’t so much an absolute hate but one of those “man you were in control of these dudes, and you still let so much happen.” pity-dislike.