#i’m cooking idgaf

[braincellwhatsthat]

do NAWT let bro into the kitchen

[sallamie]

[warcriminalpastry]

it definitely drags when he walks for max verstappen 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[lewisvinga]

my boyfriend’s boyfriend | carlos sainz x fem! reader

summary; in which a certain brit ruins y/n and carlos’ plan of a soft launch

fc; amberly yang

warnings; cursing

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03 @c-losur3

note; requested ! requests are closed.

masterlist !

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liked by yourbestfriend, friendone, and others !

yourusername: ❤️

yourbestfriend: tell him i said i’ll beat his ass if he doesn’t give you a bouquet every time he sees you🙄🙄

yourusername: he says ‘ don’t worry ‘ 😇

username: WHO IS HE??

username: ugh i wanna b u so bad 😖

username: girlie pop who gave u that

username: did we lose y/n to a man🕊️

friendone: 😍😍😍😍 (10x more than him)

yourusername: 💞💞 ( LMAOO )

username: WHAT DO U KNOWWW

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liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, and others !

carlossainz55: NYC 🍎

username: yo what the FUCK.

username: …….

username: rip carlos girlies 🕊️🕊️

username: ignoring the second pic my man is tewwwww fine 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

landonorris: the big apple 🗽 liked by carlossainz55!

username: is carlos soft launching a relationship rn….😖😖

username: that big ass bouquet of roses iM SO SICK RN

username: when i kept saying my man my man my man too loud and now he’s fr not my man😫😫😫

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yourusername uploaded to their story !

[caption 1; bae said this isn’t a normal golfing look :////] [caption 2; ❤️🏌️‍♀️]

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liked by carlossainz55, yourusername, and others

lando.jpg: golf ⛳️

tagged; carlossainz55

username: GOLF!!!

username: not lando spending his summer w carlos 😭

username: YO WHO IS THAT GIRL😭😭😭

username: did lando just expose carlos’ relationship….

username: call me crazy but that girl kinda looks like yourusername + she went golfing w her bf???

username: hold on…. ur cooking here

username: SHE LIKED THE POST TOO

username: i’m so sick carlos fr has a gf

username: LANDOO U EXPOSED CARLOS AND Y/N NOOOO😭🤣🤣

this post has been deleted !

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liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, and others !

yourusername: my boyfriend and my boyfriends boyfriend who ruined my perfectly planned out soft launch 💗💗

tagged; carlossainz55, landonorris

carlossainz55: mi reina 😍 te quiero ❤️ [my queen, i love you]

yourusername: i love youuuu💗

landonorris: I SAID I’M SORRY!!!!

yourusername: I HAD THE PERF PICS OF CARLOS YOU FUCKER.

landonorris: HE WAS MINE FIRST!!!!!🤬

yourusername: that’s so funny because guess what 😄

landonorris: what

yourusername: idgaf + he’s in my bed rn + L + you lose

landonorris: THIS IS BULLYING!!!

username: HELAPXKOSKXLS

username: my boyfriends boyfriend is so😭😭😭

username: ok but y/n and carlos are so perf😫

username: felt heartbroken as a carlos girlie but i <3 y/n so im not hurt anymore 😌

username: the second pic ☹️☹️

username: lando exposing carlos and y/n is so lando 😭😭😭

username: i wanna know their reactions to lando🤔🤔

carlossainz55: y/n ranted…. a lot

yourusername: I HAD THE BEST SOFT LAUNCH BF PICTURES 😞😞😞

landonorris: so do i😛😛

yourusername: fuck off norris he’s mine

landonorris: he was mine first🤓

yourusername: aktshually idc🤓☝️

carlossainz55: guys there’s enough of me to go around 😁

username: lando and y/n are friendship goals idc😭😭

[bokunoheros]

TAGS/WARNINGS: gn reader but afab with descriptions of feminine clothing (also katsuki calls you princess like once or twice idk), alcohol consumption, everyone is 24+, shouto is bisexual asf, katsuki and reader are married, reader did not go pro, some mlm action (todobaku content scattered throughout bc i am a god and can make them do whatever i want!!), shouto cucks a little bit, also shouto is a nasty closet perv lol, overstimulation, inappropriate quirk usage, oral (reader receiving), spit roasting, backshots, idk what else i could possibly mention other than this is nothing but filth GENRE: SMUTTTT MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI 18+ ONLY SUMMARY: after a party celebrating their top spot as heroes, shoto gets a little too drunk and has to stay the night with you and your husband, dynamight. shenanigans ensue. a new boyfriend is acquired? WORD COUNT: one million billion (jk it’s 10.4K) 🦊’s A/N: god help me. shoutout XENOVA for the celebration party idea. uhm pt2 maybe if this blows up idk. also this was not proofread bc i’m running out of time and it’s too long. and uhm its not exactly manga-canon bc i think deku deserves to be the no.1 hero idgaf. horikoshi when i catch you. // anyway enjoy lol

     it was mina’s idea to hold the party originally, and you who offered to host, since you were the one dating the number two pro hero, dynamight, and had enough space to accompany the old class 1-A. it took a little persuasion from your end to get katsuki on board, but he eventually agreed, despite his bitching about how you two needed to whip this place into shape before anyone dared to set foot into your shared home. 

     this, of course, meant more work for you in the end since your husband was so terribly busy with work. ….that’s not to say he wasn’t helpful, though; of course not! whenever he wasn’t bone tired from whatever villain attack or whatever there was that day, he was more than happy to help you pick up (well…… that’s how the phrase goes, at least; bakugou himself didn’t mind cleaning with you and helping out around the house, per se, it’s just that he always came off as aggressive in the everything that he did) and really start getting the house ready for the upcoming party this weekend. 

     when it was all said and done, everything had been dusted and all the floors swept and vacuumed; the pillows on the living room couch had been fluffed and the kitchen counters were wiped down and had been bleached in preparation for the day you were about to spend in the kitchen cooking for this party. at least katsuki was there to help you with this the most out of all the other chores — and it was really the most time consuming one, too, so his help here was greater than he realized. him being an actually good cook just so happened to be an extra, heaven-sent bonus. 

     despite this, you had actually gone out of your way to prepare three main courses: (cold) soba, katsudon, and then something on the spicier side for your husband for the top three heroes you were celebrating tonight, along with some appetizers and snacks, of course.

     finally, the day of the party was upon you, and you finished running your last couple of errands (namely stocking up on alcohol) right as ashido and the rest of the girls arrived in a limo. …..guess yaomomo went all out, huh? well, it's not like you could exactly blame her—it had been years since you had All been together due to everyone being busy with their own work, even now there were a few who couldn't make it, like satou and koji, or mezou and fumikage, due to circumstances out of their control. it was a shame really, you would have loved to have some of rikido’s sweets since he was such a good baker. ah, must not have been meant to be then. no use in dwelling on it. especially when everyone was beginning to pull up!

     “eeee, my pookie! how have you been!? how’s life with baku—no, dynamight?!” mina eagerly squeals as she runs towards you, arms extended and ready to grip you in a crushing hug. 

     “ackgh–! too tight, too tight–!” you choke out as she squeezes you half to death. 

     “oh, sorry!” she apologizes, letting go and backing up slightly as the rest of the old 1-A girls come up behind her and the limo driver drives back to yaoyorozu’s manor until it was time to come pick the ladies back up. “now. spill all the tea,” she says, giving you a serious look all of a sudden, and you feel a smile stretch across your face. it’s nice to know she’s just the same as she was in high school.

     “well—why don’t you come in and see for yourself?” you gesture to your shared home, to which the girls gawked at in awe. it wasn’t an estate or anything like yaomomo’s place of residence, but it was certainly large enough to accompany everyone attending and then some.

     leading them inside, you open the already unlocked door (katsuki was busy in the kitchen aggressively finishing up the fruit platters and charcuterie boards, making sure they were up to his standards before serving them) and led them all in.

     “kats, ‘m home! n’ all the girls are here!” you shout loud enough from him to hear you from the foyer. 

     your husband swears and grumbles under his breath, eyes darting to look at the clock just as it struck 17:00 (that’s 5pm for those of you who don’t use the 24hr format). goddammit, they were perfectly on time. whatever, he was done arranging the meats and cheeses of the charcuteries anyway. 

     moving to set the trays on the coffee table in the living room for everyone to enjoy, he greets you at the door with the softest little smile ever, one mina just barely catches sight off, which she immediately teases him for and his usual scowl makes a re-appearance in record time as he becomes prickly and sharp again, huffing out a gruff make yourselves at home or whatever. 

     after that, it was another twenty-ish minutes before nearly everyone else arrived. 

     shouto, however, was the last to get there due to him getting into an argument with his father prior to leaving. it was a surprise to even himself that he decided to come anyway, but he had grown to be more sociable than he was back in high school, and also he was one of the three people the party was actually being thrown for, so…. it would just be incomplete without him there, and he recognized that. 

     soon, the party kicked into full swing and the alcohol was excitedly opened and everyone could feel themselves relaxing as it grew closer to dinnertime—which you happily (and tipsily) served to everyone around half past seven. 

     once everyone had eaten and had time to let their food settle, people began saying their goodbyes as the night grew later and later. all except shouto, that was, who was actively still drinking, sitting on your couch with a bottle of sake in his left hand as he watches everyone else clears out. 

     “fuck’s he doin’? just sittin’ there,” bakugou grumbles, coming up to stand next to you after seeing eijirou and denki to the door (uptight as he could be, even your husband was capable of relaxing after a drink or two…. or several). he wasn’t… erm, upset with shouto’s prolonged visit, per se, but he was definitely tired and wanted some alone time with his spouse for fuck’s sake. 

     “be nice, ‘tsuki,” you scold him lightly, moving to walk towards shouto, who had a sleepy look in his eyes, to stand in front of him. “hey, todo, y’okay?” you ask, waving a hand in front of his tired face.

     “mmh? ‘m fine.” his words slur together slightly as he refocuses his blurry gaze on you, and for a moment, the number 3 pro hero thinks you look like an angel sent from heaven to take care of him—until katsuki ruins the moment by walking over and saying;

     “great, then you can obviously get yourself home!”

     “katsuki!” you hiss, looking over to where he stood next to you. “you can stay the night if you need to, shouto,” you tell him softly, squatting down in front of him and placing a hand on each knee to look up at him from almost between his legs — something your husband absolutely did not appreciate. 

     “hey—” he tries to interject, but the young todoroki had already accepted your kind offer, knowing better than to walk or drive home in his current state. 

     “relax, kats, he can sleep on the couch if you don’t want him in a guest bedroom—even though that’s what they’re for,” you suggest/remind him. 

     “i guess,” he huffs, crossing his arms as you finally stand back up.

     shouto, meanwhile, moves to stand up from where he sat, swaying a bit before you put both hands on his broad shoulders and force him to sit back down.

     “nuh-uh, you sit right there, sir,” you say playfully. “is there something you need?” you ask, raising an eyebrow as katsuki grits his teeth while you tend to that drunk icyhot cunt. (as if he himself wasn’t also wasted).

     shouto pauses to think for a moment, thinking about his words carefully before opening his mouth. 

     “do you have any—” he lags and forgets the word he’s looking for mid-sentence. “uhm. ….unfrozen ice?” he asks, tilting his head partially to the side like a confused creature might. 

     “oh my god,” bakugou groans at his request as you break out into a fit of giggles. “you fucking mean water?” he asks his fellow pro-hero. god. what a sorry fuckin’ sight he was — can’t-stand-up-drunk on katsuki’s couch, while he forgot a word as basic as water. jesus christ, he cannot believe you offered to let this fool stay here without even asking him if it was okay first. whatever. he’d just have to fuck you so good that that walking peppermint couldn’t sleep at all. yeah, he could totally do that.

     “water, yes,” shouto follows up as you have to wipe the tears from your eyes at his drunken words. standing up straight, having doubled over from laughter, you nod and tell him yeah, we have unfrozen ice, and that you’ll get him some.

     after you had left the room, though, katsuki huffs loudly and stares down at shouto, who was still seated on the plush sofa. 

     “listen, todoroki,” he spits out, one hand splaying out in an aggressive manner as his quirk popped off quietly. despite the alcohol in his system, katsuki was still just as…. well, just as aggressive and competitive as always despite the way he had grown more outwardly affectionate (towards you specifically) over the course of the evening.

     “i dunno, or care, what you’re trying but just know—” an embarrassing hic cuts him off and his face flushes from more than just the alcohol. suddenly, his big tough guy act drops as his blush reaches the tips of his ears and you come back into the room with two cups of water, handing one off to shouto and the other to your husband.

     both men silently and gratefully take the glasses from you, gulping it down before they even realized just how thirsty they were until the cups were empty and they were looking at you, causing you to suddenly feel small under their intense gazes.

     “‘ll go—get s’more,” you slur, taking the now empty glasses back from the two men, and also this moment alone to calm your racing heart, and maybe pour yourself another shot. or two. or three. calm down, you’re only alone with the two finest men in the world — one of which you’re married to!! you think to yourself as you begin pouring them another glass from the nice water pitcher you had specifically set out for tonight. 

     taking the bottle of vodka from its spot on the counter, you look at how much is left and simply decide on drinking straight from the bottle and polishing it off. little did you know, you’d need that liquid courage for later on tonight. before bringing the two well-built men their water, you dispose of the vodka bottle, putting it in the recycling and heading back into the living room.

     after a comment from katsuki about how it was getting late, you escort shouto upstairs to a guest bedroom and show him where the bathroom is before excusing yourself to your shared bedroom, shutting the door quietly behind you, just for katsuki to barge in seconds later as you move to the master bathroom to start brushing your teeth.

     he joins you shortly after, having discarded his nicer dress shirt and pants in the bedroom’s laundry basket, leaving him far more comfortable in his unfairly flattering black boxer briefs.

     “jesus—kats, how are you so fuckin’ fine?” you ask after spitting out a mouthful of toothpaste, and he only chuckles and lets a small smile stretch across his lips.

     “dunno—could ask you the same thing, though,” he quips back, grabbing his own toothbrush from the little cup it sat in, running it under the water before putting the toothpaste on it and bringing it up to his already white teeth and scrubbing the night’s grime away.

     you giggle at his words, running your toothbrush under the water and giving your teeth a final once over with the brush and scrape your tongue, rinsing it one final time, and then tapping it against the sink’s edge to get some of the excess water out. 

     finally, you made your way to the bed, sitting on the edge of it as you watch your husband finish up in the bathroom before he stalks over to you, an almost predatory look in his eye as he comes to tower over you and you can feel a chill run down your spine as he sizes you up from your spot on the king sized bed. 

     “katsuki..? what’re you—”

     your question is almost immediately cut off as his slightly chapped lips come crashing down against yours as he knocks you back onto the bed and stands between your now spread legs—which quickly wrap around his narrow waist as his large and calloused hands find purchase on your hips. 

     “mmmfgh,” your hum turns into a moan as you focus on the feeling of your husband’s lips against yours, melting into him as he leans over you, teeth clacking slightly as he tilts his head for a better angle to kiss you at.

     “was getting tired of that icyhot bastard,” he grumbles, eyebrows furrowing together as the grip on your hips tighten possessively at the mention of shouto, as if your husband wasn’t the one to bring him up? 

     his words make you chuckle nonetheless as a smile spreads over your pretty, soon to be kiss-swollen, lips as you lean back on your palms, the bed sinking beneath your weight.

     “‘m sorry, tsuki,” you mumble softly before you feel his tongue run over your lower lip, silently begging for entrance to your hot mouth — to which you eagerly granted access to, moaning quietly when he licks into your mouth. he tastes like tequila and spicy udon, and it’s utterly intoxicating (or maybe that was the last of the vodka you’d downed earlier taking effect). “didn’ mean t’invite him withou’ askin’ you,” you slur out, rolling your hips up against his growing erection.

     “‘s okay, i guess,” he pants, pulling away only slightly in order to look you in the eyes, letting you know that he really didn’t mind. sure, shouto was quiet and didn’t actually interfere with what he had planned tonight (or so he thought), so he was only mildly annoyed instead of genuinely bothered. besides….. he had left the door partially open after barging into the bedroom on purpose… just in case that walking candy cane happened to overhear and wanted a peak at the show he wouldn’t be allowed to join.

     and just like that, your husband’s lips come crashing down against yours yet again, tongue easily seeking out your own and swirling around yours before sucking it into his mouth, humming pleasantly around the wet muscle (he was in a shockingly good mood, actually…. guess he enjoyed the party more than he let on—that and the alcohol was a large factor, too) before pulling off of it with a nasty, wet pop! noise. 

     “mmh, glad you’re not mad,” you mutter, eyes fluttering open to take a peek at him. and what you saw was downright angelic — a harsh contrast from his usual demeanor and appearance.

     “why would i be?” he asks, and you straight up laugh, ruining the moment entirely. “hey–!”

     “sorry, ‘m sorry—it’s just—” you wipe a tear from your eye. “you’re usually not so— what’s the word? calm? something like that,” you try explaining to him, a smile gracing your features.

     “i’m calm! i’m always calm!” he spits out, raising his voice, sending you into another round of laughter. 

     “god—i love ya s’much, kats,” you tell him after composing yourself, shifting on the bed so you were leaning against the plush pillows lining the headboard and bakugou eagerly follows after you, moving between your legs, which easily wrapped back around his hips, pulling him closer against you, and he shifted so that he was propping himself up on a forearm, his other hand coming to press against the small of your back, arching it for you as his lips found their way to your neck, where he began to nip at the sensitive skin there.

      “you’re pretty great too, i s'pose,” he grins against your flesh before beginning to suck at the junction of your neck and shoulder, determined to leave a mark dark enough to last a week, at least. 

     “yeah? ‘s good t’hear,” you giggle breathily as he assaults your neck, and one hand comes to cradle the back of his head, fingers threading through his mysteriously spiky hair (you’ve never once seen him use hair gel—hell, you’ve even searched his entire side of the bathroom because you didn’t believe him when he told you it’s just like that).

     it doesn’t take long for bakugou to get fed up with the clothes separating your bare skin from his, desperate to physically feel you against him, and in record time, he has the skirt of your dress bunched up around your hips, you’re sitting up slightly, and he’s tugging the fabric the rest of the way off, carelessly throwing it onto the floor.

     shouto, meanwhile, lay awake staring at the ceiling in your comfortable guest’s bed, drunkenly reminiscing back to high school, and the crush he didn’t know was a crush he had on you. had he known, he probably would have asked you out sometime in your senior year—instead, he misinterpreted his affections as an intimate friendship with admiration for you and your quirk. what always baffled him, though, is why you would pick katsuki bakugou to love out of all people (not like you really had a choice in the matter…… one day you woke up and realized your supposed hatred for him was, in fact, a bone-deep love that consumed you whole).

     with an achy sigh, todoroki sits up and gets up to use the bathroom. after washing his hands and splashing his face with some cool water to sober up at least a little, his ears perk up on the way back to his temporary room. on his way back, however, he happened to catch the faintest echo of a feminine moan, and before he can stop himself, he’s silently stalking down the hall to the master bedroom, where he found the door to be cracked open wide enough for him to get a surprising view of dynamight with his head between your legs and your underwear and dress strewn across the otherwise neat floor.

     immediately, his dick twitches to life in his nice dress pants and he nearly groans at the way you moan katsuki’s name so sweetly. god…. that should be me, he thinks to himself enviously as your husband focuses solely on eating you out.

     “aa-ahh! mmm, katsuki!” you cry out, both hands coming down in attempt to push his face away from your messy cunt, but to no avail. katsuki offered you no respite as his hot tongue explored your puffy folds as he began to suck on your clit. “katsu—fuck!”

     you’re ignorant to the feeling of another pair of eyes on you, too caught up in the feeling of being eaten out, but katsuki isn’t — he feels shouto’s burning gaze, and he can’t help but smirk to himself. so he was right: icyhot couldn’t resist a good show, and boy, was katsuki about to perform.

     “hmm?” he hums, one hand resting on your thigh while he uses the forearm of his other arm to keep you from bucking your hips up. he doesn’t exactly care about what it is you’re whining about; he knows you’re fine and he intends to make you cum at least thrice tonight to show off to shouto, who was apparently a giant closeted pervert.

     and it was true. shouto was nasty without even realizing it — and that’s not to say he slept around, god no (he was 24 and still a virgin….), he just had fantasies. many of which involved you, and shamefully, on occasion, you and katsuki. it made his cheeks burn to even think about, but he would be a liar if he said he’d never gotten off to the idea of a threesome with you and your husband. jesus, and now, here the opportunity was laid right there in front of him, and what was he doing? slowly starting to palm at his erection and bite his bottom lip as he watches the scene in front of him unfold.

     “i— shit–!” you squeeze your eyes shut and arch your back as you tug at his hair. “god, just—! slow down!” you whine, and katsuki’s eye twitches. 

     like in every other aspect in his life, bakugou tended to be rough and aggressive in the bedroom; put simply, you turned him into a feral man—brought out the inner animal in him. he was, as surprising as it may seem to some, a generous lover, however, due to his have to be the best at everything mentality, so, by extension, this included his ability to give and inflict pleasure (mixed with a healthy amount of pain, because, well.. it’s katsuki). 

     “nah.” blatantly ignoring your request, he pulls his head away from your drooling pussy, the lower half of his face covered in your slick, and blows a cold puff of air against your throbbing slit, causing you to whine out his name as he nips at the fatty skin of your inner thigh—dangerously close to your cunt—sucking and biting until a dark purple mark begins to form. a smirk stretches over his somewhat thin, although plump, lips knowing shouto would never get to litter your body in bruises and hickeys the same way he does. 

     “mmh—jesus, kats–!” it’s all you can do to whimper as he resumes the disgustingly messy way he was tongue fucking your pussy.

     shouto almost groans as he gets harder and harder, almost painfully so, as he watches katsuki fervently eat you out, and suddenly, he wishes it was him between your legs with bakugou watching instead. 

     as silently as he possibly can, todoroki begins to unbuckle his belt in order to slip a hand past the waistband of both his pants to feel himself through the fabric of his sickeningly tight boxers. he’s careful to bite back what would be any whimpers or quiet moans, knowing it’s so shotover for him if he gets caught.

     “fuck,” he mutters under his breath, swallowing thickly as he watches as you’re eaten out until you’re cumming with a loud cry of your husband’s name (shouto pretended it was his name you were calling out), and he goes to turn around to hide in the bedroom you’d so kindly allowed him to stay in to jerk off until he hears—

     “y’gonna come out, icyhot, or are ya just gonna stand there like a loser cuck all night?” katsuki lifts his head from between your legs to look at the half-and-half bastard peeping on him and his spouse…… what a fucking freak.

     “sh–shouto!?” you squeak, not having noticed his presence until the man you’d married had pointed him out. “wh–what’re you—!” you can’t even think of what to say before he’s trying to apologize and katsuki’s cussing him out—telling him to get his ass in here before he really makes him sorry. 

     just how drunk was your husband? or shouto for that matter? truthfully, you were probably the most sober person in the room.

     slowly, silently, and shamefully, shouto makes his way into your bedroom, where he comes to stand at the foot of the bed with a horribly noticeable tent in his pants. he wants to look down at the floor, but he’s physically incapable of taking his eyes off your naked, sweaty form—and katsuki’s toned back, for that matter. he gulps anxiously as he waits for the perpetually angry blond to inevitably break the ice. 

     much to his surprise, however, it was you to speak up first, admitting that you didn’t mind shouto’s presence—followed by katsuki sarcastically asking if you wanted him to join, to which your body stiffened and cheeks flushed at the thought. 

     “what? don’t tell me you like the idea of that half n’ half idiot joinin’ the fun?” a wicked grin stretches over his slick lips as he quirks a brow up at you before shrugging and saying; “fine, just remember: you asked for this.”

     “you heard ‘em, todoroki, get the hell over here,” he spits out, and shouto complies immediately—he could not believe what was about to happen and neither could (nor katsuki for that matter).

     as he closes the gap between you three, he fumbles with the buttons of his dress shirt before ultimately just ripping it open and shrugging it onto the floor. repeating the same action with his pants, he struggles slightly with the zipper before tugging it down and quickly stepping out of them, nearly tripping in the process—to which katsuki has to stifle a laugh.

     shouto feels dizzy and light-headed from how hard he is, and he bites his thick bottom lip as he nervously crawls onto the oversized bed, sitting adjacent to you as he awaits further instructions from the ever-demanding bakugou. 

     “katsu—”

     “shut up,” he says gruffly, one large hand coming up to cover your mouth—he was about to dictate everything that was about to go down. “you—todoroki—listen real fuckin’ closely, because i’m not repeating myself. you can look, but ‘m still deciding if you’re allowed to touch yet—” katsuki directs his attention from him to you and asks; “whaddya think, princess? would y’like that? both of us touchin’ you?” and it’s all you can do to nod, cheeks physically heating up in shame and embarrassment. 

     “i guess i’ll allow it, then,” he says, moving his hand away from your face so he can manhandle you into a sitting up position, making you straddle his lap and telling shouto to move behind you.

     you feel your heartbeat quicken significantly now that you’re naked and sandwiched between two of the hottest men you’ve ever been blessed with the chance to encounter. dear god. take a breath, you’ve got this. …..and that’s why your pussy’s all but drooling right now? you can’t help but roll your bare cunt over your husband’s erection, letting out a delicious little moan in the process, and shouto’s equally large hands hesitantly find purchase on your hips, and you look back over your shoulder as he leans in attempt to kiss you—just to be blocked by katsuki’s hand against his pouty lips.

     “i didn’t fuckin’ say you could kiss them,” he hisses. shouto, however, mentally shrugs this off, grabs the angry blond’s wrist to move his hand, and leans in over your shoulder, pressing his chest firmly against your back, in order to—kiss your husband instead????!

     holy shit—this is so much hotter than it should be, jesus christ. you’re genuinely ashamed of the way shouto moving to kiss katsuki rather than you turns you on, and you even let a little oh my god slip in awe and horny amazement. 

     “what the actual fuck, icyhot!?” your husband explodes, trying to shove shouto away from him, but causing you to fall back fully into his lap, where you can feel his boner pressing up against your ass.

     “n–no,” you speak up. “d–do it again.” you try your best not to mutter the request, looking between the man who had crushed on you all through high school and the one you’d ended up marrying. 

     “huh!? have you both lost your fucking minds?!” 

     “please..? do it for me, ‘tsuki?” you beg as sweetly as you can, a pout tugging at your lips as you did your best kicked puppy eyes. as tough as bakugou acted, deep down, he did, in fact, have a soft spot for you, and would do nearly anything for you—and this, unfortunately, was about to be one of the things he was willing to do. maybe he had the whiskey to thank for his… bravery, but for some reason, the idea of making out with that peppermint bastard really didn’t seem so bad. ….jesus, what is he thinking?

     “tch, fine,” he clicks his tongue before he’s suddenly snatching you out of shouto’s lap and bringing you back onto his, where he shifts so his back’s against the headboard and says; “‘f y’can ride me, then sure, ‘ll do whatever you want, sweetheart.”

     nodding eagerly, you tug the waistband of his boxers down just enough to free his aching cock, where it hits his lower tummy and you impatiently use one hand to line up the angry red tip with your slick entrance before sinking down to the base with ease. you both moan at the feeling and katsuki beckons shouto over after pressing a quick kiss to your shiny lips to remind himself why he was doing this.

     shouto’s dick aches enviously, desperately wishing he could feel your heat, but quickly gets over it as his chest presses against your back once again and his lips land against katsuki’s. actually, todoroki was not an experienced kisser—at all, really; he was only copying what he had seen in movies, so he’s a little surprised when the blond’s tongue runs over the seam of his lips and his heterochromatic eyes fly open at the feeling. 

     katsuki, however, reaches around you to grab shouto’s cheeks, forcing him to part his pretty lips, and he easily slips his tongue past his kiss-swollen lips. meanwhile, shouto’s strong arms wrap around your waist while he allows your husband to explore the inside of his mouth, his face heating up despite the way a chill runs down his spine. 

     “mmh,” he hums quietly, freezing his tongue in order to give your husband a little surprise—which works very well, seeing as how katsuki pulls away with a heaving gasp.

     “what the fuck?” he pants, rolling his hips up into dripping cunt, and you let out a little moan, grinding down against him at the same time, allowing him to brush up against your g-spot while shouto moves to kiss katsuki again, large hands coming up to cup his flushed, tanned cheeks, trying to tilt his head for a better angle as he mimics the way the blond’s tongue had run over the seam of his lips, and is pleasantly surprised when he reluctantly parts his slightly thinner lips for the much calmer man. 

     jesus christ, you think to yourself, trying to bounce against your husband’s dick to the best of you ability, but groaning in frustration when his absurdly calloused hands come down against your hips to hold you in place.

     “mm—’tsuki,” you whine as he wholly focuses on kissing shouto (who was currently living out his wet dream). it’s all you can do to wiggle in place, trying to grind your clit against his neatly trimmed pubic hair, desperate for any kind of friction. meanwhile, shouto’s freezing hand comes up to grope your chest, causing you to let out a quiet yelp at the feeling of him tweaking roughly with your nipple.

     poor, poor inexperienced shouto had no gauge or concept of what exactly he was doing, relying on instinct and everything he’d seen in the little porn he had watched; he silently prays he’s acting accordingly and soon his heated left hand is coming up to grab at your other tit.

     “sh–shouto!” you moan, almost causing katsuki to pause in his action as a growl leaves his throat—now this just simply would not do, no, no, no. !!!! fuck! his dick twitches inside you as he ruts his hips upwards while holding firmly onto your hips. “je–jesus! katsuki!” 

     that’s better, he thinks to himself, a smug, self-satisfied smirk tugging at the corners of his plump lips as he tries not to overthink his kiss with todoroki. god. as fucking  embarrassing, humiliating, and shameful as it was, …..katsuki absolutley could not deny the fact that he was feeling so, so, so many things right now, things he never would have considered sober, let alone acted on, and now….. now, he was rock fucking hard as he feels the inside of shouto’s mouth, tracing his tongue along the grooves of his blindingly white teeth and inner cheeks before swirling it around his own heated muscle. 

     he wants to tell shouto he’s not half bad at this when he begins to suck on his tongue—taking him violently by surprise—but can’t bring himself to dole out the praise, not wanting him to get an ego about how well he was managing to keep up. 

     you can feel your stomach doing flips and your pussy creaming around your husband’s cock as the two men you’re sandwiched between really go at it, and suddenly your mouth feels dry as you let out a low, drawn out whine.

     “fuck,” is all you’re able to say as you dig your nails into katsuki’s back while arching your own, with shouto still pinching and tweaking with your poor, erect nipples—his hands were almost at extreme temperatures, and you choke out something about how good it feels, offering the number three hero the praise he needed—something bakugou wasn’t a huge fan of. 

     half n’ half wants to use his quirk? that’s fine—he can, too!

     the next thing you know, your hips feel scorchingly hot and you’re hearing the sound of a very small-scale explosion, and you yelp out your husband’s name, pussy fluttering around his achy length, and you have to bite your lower lip when you feel tears welling up in your eyes from all the stimulation. had you known inviting a drunk shouto to stay the night would lead to this, you would have done it years ago! …because honestly, you were crushing hard on him your freshman year of highschool together—but unfortunately for you, that’s when he had first begun to actually explore his emotions for the first time in his life, leading you to believe you never stood a chance with him.

     katsuki, however, while his primary emotion was anger, you could tell something was up with him and his feelings towards you when he stopped yelling at you as much compared to the others. don’t get one wrong, he definitely still shouted at you, because that’s just who he was, but….. it was enough for you and the girls of 1-A to pick up on—something they teased you relentlessly about behind closed doors because nobody ever dared to mention anything in front of bakugou in fear of ruining your chances together (as you see, mina and a few others were die hard shippers while the rest enabled this behavior). 

      “christ’s sake, katsuki,” you hiss as his quirk repeatedly pops off against your reddening skin and you have to physically bite your tongue to keep yourself grounded enough to scold him. …try to, anyway. “thi— this isn’t a—ahh! fuck!—a compe–titon! jesus!” you moan.

     a competition. 

     that word ring in katsuki’s ears as he pulls away from his kiss with shouto, admittedly a little breathlessly, a smirk stretching over his glossy lips.

     “now that’s an idea,” he muses out loud, causing shouto to tilt his head and your eyes to widen. goddammit, you just had to go and open your bigass mouth, didn’t you?

     “n–no; whatever you— you’re planning, forget about it,” you say as firmly as you can despite the way your pussy flutters around him.

     bakugou clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes at the way you whine out such a ridiculous request. 

     “mmh, nah,” he grins, hands holding you firmly in place against him, preventing you from even rolling your hips—something you’re quick to bitch about. 

     “god–dammit!” sometimes you wish your husband wasn’t so goddamn strong—it made it that much easier for him to manhandle you into any position he wanted. 

     “y’up for a little challenge, icyhot?” katsuki ignores you entirely, focusing his intense gaze onto the slightly younger man.

     “...sure,” he nods, albeit a little reluctantly, unsure of what exactly he was agreeing to. he hopes he’ll get a chance to steal a kiss from you, but for now, he figures it best to go along with whatever bakugou was about to suggest. 

     “whoever can make princess here cum the most in five minutes each can fuck their cunt,” he begins, just for shouto to interrupt him. 

     “and what of the loser?”

    “i was getting there—impatient sonuva bitch….” he mutters the last part under his breath like he wasn’t also an impatient sonuva bitch. “anyway, the loser—in this case, i’m sure it’ll be you, y’fuckin’ virgin cuck—can…. fuck right off and watch,” he finishes, cock twitching deep inside you at his own words. he was absolutely positive he’d win the little proposition he’d struck up, which is why the punishment for the loser was so harsh. when in all reality, if he was feeling kind enough, he’d let you suck shouto off as a consolation prize. ….maybe.

     “sounds good to me,” todoroki agrees to bakugou’s conditions, feeling his own dick twitch as he steels his nerves—he was so fucked. in this moment, shouto’s never been more grateful for being a fast learner, as that was his only chance at possibly succeeding in such a task. he wasn’t particularly familiar with the afab body, and so he has to actively recall all the porn he had seen—mind you, he was incredibly picky about what exactly he’s watching—when suddenly an idea strikes him and he’s asking katsuki to move his hands so he can pull you off his cock and reposition you so your back was against the bed.

     you and your husband are both confused until shouto’s pushing your thighs apart and nestling between them, icy lips kissing down your body until he reaches the mound of your dripping cunt, and you can’t help but get shy—not because you weren’t used to being eaten out, no (katsuki often ate you out until you couldn’t see straight), it was because you just simply were not expecting that from the inexperienced shouto todoroki! but it’s okay, just take a deep breath and—

     “aa–aah! fuck! shouto!” you cry out, caught off guard by the way his full lips wrap around your erect clit and begin suckling on it, his freezing tongue moving to swirl around it as he does. he doesn’t exactly know what he’s doing and is more or less figuring it out as he goes based on your reactions and moans. 

     katsuki is just as taken aback as you were, but for totally different reasons; this was probably one of the last things he had expected todoroki to do, but, but, but…!!! fuck! he couldn’t even be mad about it either because he was the one who had decided to turn it into a competition. shit. okay, whatever, he’d just work around this.

     “nngh–!” one of your hands comes to run through shouto’s split hair, tugging the soft locks gently. “wh–where the fuck did you—aah! hhngh!—learn h–how to do this?” you ask breathlessly, looking down at the man between your legs, and you feel a chill run down your spine and goosebumps erupt over your skin when you realize he’s looking right back at you—staring at you intently, doing his best to gauge all your little reactions, both verbal and physical.

     katsuki can’t help but agree with your question, because seriously, where the fuck had he learned this shit!? 

     all he’s able to do, though, is watch with awe as shouto focuses wholly on his attempt to eat you out — which he was seemingly doing a good job at — as one large and calloused hand subconsciously comes down to jerk himself off slowly, thumb swiping over his bright red, leaky tip, and he hisses out a quiet fuck while your back arches off the bed.

     shouto, however, doesn’t answer, in favor of bringing a heated finger down to your slick entrance — gently prodding at it before slipping it in with ease. 

     “mmmffgh,” you whine as he curls it up slowly, all while sucking on your throbbing clit, and it doesn’t take long for a knot to build up in your lower stomach. “nngh– sh–shouto!” 

     he simply ignores you as he begins to slip a second finger in—gradually heating them up as he did—and you moan pathetically as your husband watches on in awe, his mouth horribly dry and dick achingly hard, and for a moment, he’s scared he might cum to the sight of another man eating his spouse out—so he intentionally slows his pace to something almost painfully slow to make sure he doesn’t prematurely ejaculate, wanti—no, Needing to cum inside you. 

     starting to scissor you apart now, you clench around shouto’s burning fingers desperately, whining as his freezing right hand comes up to pinch one of your already stiff nipples. 

     “nngh–!” it’s not long before you’re cumming with a loud cry of shouto’s name while pulling at his soft hair, back arching deeply off the mattress as katsuki lets out a growl at the sight, already seething with envy….. whatever; he takes in a deep breath to calm himself down and slowly starts to increase the pace at which he’s jerking himself off, groaning softly as he does. 

     todoroki doesn’t relent in his pace, however, messily eating you out throughout the duration of your orgasm, resulting in you cumming a second time not long after.

     “nnngh—’s too much, shouto—” you choke out, pulling at his hair while trying to push him away at the same time. “f–fuck!” it had maybe been two minutes, meaning you had to endure for another three. but how exactly were you meant to do that? with the way he was all but making out with your cunt, you turn your attention to katsuki, pathetically mewling for help—just for him to shut you down! reminding you that you agreed to this and that he knows you can take it.

     the most your husband had ever made you cum in one night was four times—a record he was gunning to beat tonight. 

     by the time shouto’s time was up, he had managed to make you cum three times, on his way to working you up to a fourth, before katsuki’s letting go of his dick and burying his thick fingers in todoroki’s hair, yanking him away from your pulsing heat. 

     “hey—” shouto pants breathlessly, lower face covered in your slick.

     “time’s up, icyhot,” your husband rasps out before asking you how many times you’d cum.

     “th– three, but— i need a break before we keep goin’,” you tell him, panting heavily with flushed cheeks and teary eyes. 

     katsuki simply nods in acknowledgement, untangling his fingers from shouto’s hair as all three of you take this moment to catch your breath. then, after a brief three or so minutes of rest, bakugou’s crawling on top of you as shouto watches on this time, cock leaky and painfully hard as he palms himself through his horribly tight boxers while katsuki kisses you.

     “love ya, kats,” you’re able to pant out, and shouto feels his heart break a little; he wishes he could be on the receiving end of those words some day... but for now, he shifts so he’s kneeling on the bed, legs tucked neatly under him with his thighs spread wide enough for his heated left hand to sneak past the waistband of his boxers in order to grope himself.

     bakugou smiles against your lips at your words rather than returning them, and his tongue slides out to poke its way into your already open mouth, easily licking over the insides of your cheeks and grooves of your teeth. 

     as he watches the two of you makeout, todoroki begins to reflect on his kiss with katsuki earlier, and he finds himself yearning to hear those three little words from him, too, or to be able to kiss you as well….. maybe when this is all said and done… maybe he can work up the courage to ask to join your relationship..? or maybe he’d leave early in the morning full of shame…. he isn’t quite sure yet.

     “mmngh—” you moan softly as one of katsuki’s large and calloused hands trails down your side, moving to cup your puffy cunt, before two thick fingers easily insert themselves into you without much of a warning—fortunately, you were still soaked from your slick and shouto’s spit from where he’d eaten you out so good, so your husband didn’t meet any resistance when scissoring you apart. “k–katsu–!”

     “yeah?” he pants as his cock drools uncomfortably. it’s okay. he’d just have to make you cum four times in five minutes, and—the idea that shouto might beat him at a challenge he proposed due to your fatigue from allowing that icyhot cunt to go first suddenly flashes in his mind, and he’s hardened over with a certain resolve he’d allowed to slip in his overwhelmingly horny state of mind.

     “i— ah! hnnngh— ‘m still se–sensitive,” you whine out, arching your back off the bed at the stimulation, and it’s all you can do to pull at his hair when you feel the calloused pad of his thumb press against your swollen, oversensitive clit. as the fingers almost knuckle-deep inside you press into your g-spot, you go crosseyed from the combined feeling of being finger-fucked and having your tongue sucked on (when’d he start doing that!?).

     katsuki, however, ignores your weak mewls in favor of kissing you so hard your teeth clack together briefly before he’s tilting his head for a better angle and nipping softly at your tongue, causing you to squeak in surprise. 

     rolling your hips up and grinding down against his hand, desperate for more fiction, shouto watches on in awe and horny amazement, taking notes on how your body reacted to katsuki, hoping he could imitate his actions, or develop them into his own, next time he got the chance. 

     soon, though, katsuki’s five minutes come to an end, with you only having cum twice by his doing—something that makes his eye twitch as he realizes that meant icyhot would get to fuck your cunt. ….goddammit! he’d gotten too caught up in the feeling of your lips against his to focus fully on fingering you! sure, he was just about to bring you to your third orgasm–but! oh, this so wasn’t fair! if only he’d gone first! then you wouldn’t have been so worn out!

     shit. with a sigh, he pulls away from your body as his eye begins twitching and he looks over to shouto—who currently had his hand wrapped around his cock—and lets out a huff.

     “there’s no way i’m letting him fuck you,” he grunts out, crossing his muscular arms.

     “kats, that’s not— ‘s’not fair,” you chide him, panting heavily and sitting up on your forearms. “you said— said the winner—” your cheeks flush as you remember the words he’d used and you shake your head to clear the thought from your mind. “...could fuck me—you wouldn’t wanna go back on your word, would you?” 

     shouto’s heart rate increases as you stick up for him, and he feels the extra blood circulating throughout his body go straight to his throbbing dick as his eyes light up with hope—never in a million years would he think he’d get the chance to have sex with you!

     “mm, …fine,” katsuki agrees, salty he’d lost at his own competition, but willing to do whatever to make you happy, so… he almost retches a little at the thought and he feels his heart break in his chest ever so slightly, but… if staying true to his word and letting that half n’ half bastard fuck you would make you happy, then…. he guesses he can let it slide…

     with that, shouto’s shifting onto his knees a little more in order to slide his boxers down his well-toned thighs so his pretty cock can slap against his lower tummy and he’s quick to grab you by the hips, pulling you towards him before katsuki’s words cause him to pause.

     “not so fast, icyhot, if you’re gonna fuck ‘em, then they can at least suck me off while you do,” he growls, moving so that he’s behind you and then manhandling out of shouto’s grasp so that you were facing him. “get on all fours, sweetheart,” he instructs you, and you obey with a nod, presenting shouto with your ass and drooling cunt and he swallows thickly at the sight. 

     his hands plant themselves on your hips once more and a small smile tugs at the corners of your lips—you were glad shouto would at least get a chance to enjoy himself, as you’re sure he probably doesn’t have many good stress relievers, if any at all… 

     with that in mind, you make sure to arch your back nicely for the man on his knees behind you as you take your husband’s dick in one hand while supporting your weight with the other and press a little kiss to the bright red tip before slowly taking it into your hot mouth.

     katsuki hisses out a groan at the feeling of you hollowing your cheeks as you gradually take him down to almost the base, your hand wrapped around what doesn’t currently fit in your mouth, and swallow thickly around him.

     “shit—” a hand is quick to bury itself in your hair to guide your pace as shouto’s jaw slackens in the slightest before he gets a grip and starts to align his swollen and leaky tip with your creamy pussy, moaning much louder than he was expecting to at the feeling of your warm, gummy walls wrapped around his virgin cock. suddenly, whatever metaphorical grip he did have immediately slips away from him as his physical grip tightens to an almost painful extent, and you’re sure he’ll leave bruises in the shapes of his fingertips—similar to the way your husband so often does.

     “aa–aah! fuck!” todoroki whines as he takes his time bottoming out—biting his tongue as he pushes into you almost agonizingly slow, causing you to moan around your husband’s dick, resulting in him pushing your head down further against him and your pussy to flutter around the poor, overwhelmed shouto.

     you nearly gag as his mushroom-headed tip hits the back of your throat, but are able to suppress your reflex to do so well enough to remove your hand from around him while you focus on breathing through your nose as you take him down to the base, until your face is flush against his pelvis, light blond pubes tickling your nostrils slightly. 

     you try to stay that way for as long as possible, swallowing around him continuously to fight your own gag reflex rather than out of consideration of his pleasure, but it’s only been a few seconds when you’re fighting against his strong palm to come up for air.

     after pulling off him with a disgustingly wet pop! and panting heavily, you make the suggestion that the two should kiss again — arguing that if your husband is just gonna offer your pussy to be fucked without asking you, then the least he could do was makeout with the man balls deep inside you.

     “what?” katsuki barks out, looking down at you, with your head between his thighs. 

     “please, ‘tsuki?” you ask nicely, giving him your best puppy dog eyes.

     shouto wants to join in with your pleading—to ask katsuki for a kiss, too, but he knows better, knows your husband will begrudgingly cave to your demands and that he’ll ultimately receive another kiss.

     “tsk… fine—c’mere, icyhot,” he grunts, one hand pushing your head back down onto his dick as the other reaches for shouto. both men lean over you in order to lock lips, and the younger one can’t help the smile that tugs at the corners of his lips as he gets what he wants. 

     todoroki’s hips press flush against your ass as he leans over your sweaty, overstimulated body to makeout with your husband. god, you weren’t, like, …a fujoshi or anything, but…. something about the idea of katsuki and shouto going at it in particular had your stomach in knots and cunt clamping down snugly around shouto’s girth. 

     “jesus—” the half and half man pants at the feeling of your pussy, and he honestly doesn’t know how he’s managed to go this long without it. ….or if he’ll be able to live without yours specifically from here on out…… okay, it’s decided. he’d ask to join your relationship, somehow, when this was all said and done, but for now he isn’t sure whether to focus on his kiss with katsuki or the feeling of his dick throbbing almost painfully inside you. 

     ultimately, his attention is drawn to the way bakugou nips harshly at his lower lip—enough to draw a small amount of blood—and a moan gets caught in shouto’s throat, coming out as something more akin to a whimper instead; something that certainly makes katsuki’s ears perk up. had todoroki just fuckin’ whimpered from something he had done? for a reason other than getting pussy for the first time in his stupid virgin life? needless to say, it quickly goes to bakugou’s ego as he begins sucking on shouto’s lower lip, tongue swiping over it quickly at first, and then a second time that was considerably slower and more teasing in nature.

     poor shouto can feel himself going cross-eyed as he ruts into you sloppily, heavy balls smacking against your clit, and he knows he won’t last long like this at all. he’s kinda bummed he can’t …make love to you the way he would prefer, but right now, he doesn’t find himself picky at all—just grateful to be a part of this entire thing, even if he may not get the chance again in the future. that’s why it was critical for him to be present in the moment, literally drooling from how good he feels, as he uses his quirk on his tongue while swirling it around katsuki’s, the now freezing muscle licking over the insides of his cheeks and grooves of his teeth, sending a chill down your husband’s spine. 

    the saliva being exchanged between the two begins to dribble out from the corners of their mouths and drip down their chins and onto your arched back. holy shit. you nearly choke on katsuki’s dick at the feeling of their spit rolling down your spine and you moan in both disgust and twisted pleasure. 

    “nnmgh,” you moan, tongue pressed flat against the underside of his dick as shouto drills into you. now it’s you who finds themselves drooling profusely, your spit running down katsuki’s cock, soaking his balls. 

     the blond can feel himself throbbing down your throat and he groans from the combined stimulation of you blowing him and shouto’s icy tongue—he’s close and he knows it. …meaning that half and half whore was definitely about to cum, with the way your pussy is surely milking him for all he’s worth. 

     “shouto,” he grunts out, pulling away just enough to tell him that if he’s gonna cum, then he has to pull out—that katsuki was the only one allowed to cum inside you. 

     todoroki was more taken aback by the usage of his first name from bakugou of all people, and it’s all he can do to nod and mumble a quiet yeah. 

     it’s not much longer before both mean reach their climax around the same time—with shouto pulling out to jerk himself off for a few more seconds and he’s cumming all over your back with a loud cry as your husband cums in your mouth, thick cum spilling down your throat, past your tongue, not even giving you a chance to taste him.

     after both men catch their breath, katsuki slowly pulls you off of him as he gazes down at you with a particularly soft look in his eye—or maybe it’s satisfaction, you’re too fucked out to really tell. 

     “y’okay, princess?” your husband rasps out, grinning to himself at your teary eyes, one hand cupping your cheek, and you blindly lean into his warm touch.

     “mmhm,” is all you can hum in response, borderline brain dead from how many times you’d cum tonight—clit still throbbing from the earlier stimulation. 

     “good….” he directs his attention to shouto, but doesn’t ask him anything, instead looking him up and down, eyes lingering on his dick for a moment longer than he’d like to admit. he quickly redirects his gaze to shouto’s heterochromatic one, and the softest, barely there smile tugs at the corners of his lips. it was so small and brief, one might think they were hallucinating had they seen it, but todoroki catches sight of it, and he wants to say something, but finds himself speechless; so instead, he leans in to kiss your husband again, and, very much to his surprise, he doesn’t immediately recoil. given, he doesn’t lean in to meet him either, but he does kiss him back as you shift to the side, panting heavily while you watch the two muscular and domineering men go at it for the nth time tonight, and you can hardly believe your eyes.

     one hand slips down in between your legs as they kiss, rubbing gently at your sensitive bundle of nerves while shouto takes the initiative this time, running his now heated tongue over the seam of katsuki’s lips before licking into his mouth, but moans quietly when the usually angry, but now somewhat calm, blond begins sucking on the hot muscle, one hand coming up to almost cradle the back of shouto’s head as he buries in fingers in his two-toned hair, pulling at it roughly.

     “y’know icyhot, you’re really not that bad at this,” he tells him, which is the closest to doling out praise he’ll ever get. 

     shouto, however, takes this to heart as a soft smile pulls at his lips and suddenly he finds himself cupping katsuki’s face and knocking him onto the bed, clumsily clamoring on top of him, and your jaw genuinely drops at the scene in front of you. holy shit.

     “yeah?” shouto breathes from on top of katsuki, who was just as shocked as you were, if not moreso. what the fuck? how the fuck? what was he meant to do? he looks over to you for an idea of where to go with this, and his eyes widen when he sees you touching yourself to the sight of them. …alright, he supposes he can get behind this.

     looking back over to shouto, he replies: “sure, ..but i’m better,” and easily manages to flip the pair so that he was on top instead.

     “nngh–” you moan as softly, your free hand coming to grope one of your tits, pinching and tweaking with your already erect nipples. you don’t know if you can handle another orgasm, but the sight of the pair in front of each other is simply too hot to not jerk to.

     shouto, meanwhile, wraps his arms around katsuki’s neck as he pulls him in for a disgustingly sloppy and heated kiss, lips parting by themselves as he cranes his neck upwards. similarly, he moans as well, tongue already seeking out katsuki’s while you fondle yourself and slowly work yourself up to one final orgasm.

     nipping at his lower lip the same way he’d done to shouto earlier, katsuki retaliates by pulling away from the kiss to bite at his neck — even going as far as to suck against a few particular spots, leaving hickeys to bloom in the place of his mouth. for a moment, the idea of jerking shouto off crosses his mind, but that would be going too far for bakugou. 

     you, however, encourage this behavior, telling them to put on a show for you as you try not to cringe at the feeling of shouto’s cum drying on your bare back.

     so, it’s shouto who finds himself reaching for katsuki’s dick without a second thought, and he heats up his hand a bit to tease the poor blond (there is nothing poor about that man…), causing him to hiss in a mix of surprise and pleasure. 

     “shit—you’d think you would ask someone before just grabbing their dick,” he grunts out, making shouto chuckle a bit at his words.

     “sorry,” he says simply, thumb running over the leaky slit of his mushroom-headed tip, and he really, really wishes he could suck him off…… christ. maybe… maybe he should ask? you were the one who told them to put on a show after all..!

     shouto ultimately decides against it, though, too embarrassed to do so, and instead settles for jerking katsuki off slowly and with intent. 

     “nngh–” bakugou nearly whimpers—not that he’d ever actually do something like that, obviously—and he pulls at shouto’s hair, dick still sensitive from the way you’d sucked him off so good a few moments prior.

     it doesn’t take too long before katsuki finds himself cumming sooner than he’d like to admit, biting down on shouto’s neck in order to cope with the stimulation from his former classmate and fellow pro-hero. 

    you, too, find yourself cumming rather quickly, back arching off the mattress as shouto slows his pace to a halt, pulling his hand away and licking katsuki’s cum off it while making full eye contact with him—something that, shamefully, turned both you and the blond on. 

     you two would have to have a very serious discussion after this about how to move on from here, but for now, the two men turn their focus back to you, finally worn out for the night. katsuki easily shifts to lay next to you, wrapping his strong arms around your waist as shouto moves to get off the bed and go back to his guest room where he’d lay awake for the rest of the night—until he hears you call out for him softly, inviting him to sleep in your bed for the night; something katsuki doesn’t protest against, too tired to do so—and even if he did, his heart wouldn’t be in it. unfortunately, he very much enjoyed his time with the two of you tonight, and might seriously have to entertain your future request of letting shouto join your relationship.

     in the meantime, however, shouto abides and comes to lay on the other side of you, flushed and sweaty body pressing against your back as your chest smushes against katsuki’s significantly warmer one, and you’re quickly lulled to sleep by the sound of his heartbeat and shouto’s steady breathing.

return to KINKTOBER | K. BAKUGOU M.LIST | S. TODOROKI M.LIST

[b3ach-bunn7]

NO ONE NOTICED

You transferred to UA from halfway across the world. You’re missing home. You feel like shit and Bakugo helps.

COMPLETELY NON CANON like everyone is alive and happy and friends idgaf

Mostly based off of @/tokeniranianfriend's texposts on tik tok plzzzz go check her out!!

—————————————————————————

You are definitely missing movie night today.

The thing is, you feel selfish to complain about your whole situation. You could name probably hundreds of young heroes from your town alone who’d kill to be in your position. To be flown out on a scholarship to one of the most amazing hero schools in the world? It’s not only ungrateful, but it’s selfish. You’re selfish.

And it’s not like you don’t like UA and Japan. You love it here. The conscience stores that are open all night. The little drinks with the huge cubes of ice are your favourite, and everything is so much cheaper here. The teachers are some of the best you've come across in your life, the facilities available to you better than any other school you’d been to. And the people were so kind, so funny and welcoming, despite the fact you joined during their third year. 

Well, there was Bakugo. You wouldn’t call him too welcoming.

Mina promises you he’s much better now than he was in third year, that he’d calmed down once they’d gotten older. You can only imagine what he’d been like when they’d all been first years. You’d been cordially invited into what was known as the ‘Bakusquad’, and the only person you struggled to get through had been him. It had taken endless days of you bugging him and never leaving him be until you’d reached a stage where you think the two of you are friends. You still struggle to break through the grumpy demeanour that he seems to always hold on his face but you make some progress. He lets you watch him cook on his nights in the kitchen, legs dangling under the table as you commentate on his diligent chopping and stirring. He gave you his number one night, and despite the fact he tends to reply with emojis more than anything else, it was progress. Mina tells you he doesn’t just spar with anyone too, so you’ve taken that into account too.

You try not to think about the fact you have a tiny crush on him. It’s Bakugo. You don’t think he feels any emotion stronger than he does rage, so you ignore it. Bakugo isn’t the issue here.

You just miss home. You miss your bed. You miss your cats. You miss your mum.

The flights home are way too expensive, so you spend most of your holidays here, the dorms so noticeably quiet once everyone is home with their families. And you haven’t minded it too much, but it’s your birthday next week and it’s only just occurred to you it’s your first one without your family and friends. There's a weird pit in your stomach because you know your stupid family tradition of cake right at midnight, your favourite dinner being cooked won’t be happening. Your usual tradition of friends treating you to dinner, opening gifts at the table. None of that now.

You’re also on your period, which does not help.

All of this is why you quickly shoot Mina a message that you won’t be making it to movie night. Her reply is almost immediate.

Mina: WHAT

Mina: WHY NOT

You: I’m just feeling a little emo rn 😔

You: And my cramps are killing rn 

Mina: okay ml :(((

Mina: you wanna talk about it?

You: Nah, I’m okay

You: But thank you bae 🙈🙈

Mina: love youuuu

Mina: ill tell the others

You don’t bother responding. You feel slightly mean, but Mina knows you best and you know she won’t see it in any bad way. You burrow under your covers, snacks on one side of your and your laptop on the other. The latest episode of Love is Blind is playing, and you commentate to nobody but yourself at the people on your screen. You’re only five minutes in when you feel your phone buzz on the bed. You ignore it at first. But then it buzzes twice more and you huff, shoving the m&ms in your hand into your mouth and grabbing your phone.

Bakugo: Mina said you’re not coming

Bakugo: Why

Bakugo: ??

You: just not feeling it today

Bakugo: Why

You: idk bro I’m just not 😭

You: ill be there next week promise

Bakugo: Youre being weird

You: ???

You: I’m just so tired 😔

You: ik ur not gonna miss my annoying commentary let’s be real

Bakugo doesn’t respond. Again, nothing surprising. It’s not the first and definitely not the last time he’ll leave you on read. You unpause your show but it’s quickly interrupted by a knock at your door. A knock is putting it lightly. You think this person might be trying to break down your door. It takes you a minute to emerge from your cocoon you’ve built on your bed, pulling the hood on your hoodie up to cover your bed head. 

“Fucking hell, I’m coming.” You huff, quickly yanking the door open.

Your words are cut off at the sight of Bakugo standing at your door. You quickly curse the fact you didn’t try to make yourself look slightly more presentable. You think it makes your not so tiny crush even worse that Bakugo is genuinely quite beautiful. Shining red eyes, arms so muscular you know you’re able to see the lines of them through his clothes, long lashes you’re honestly jealous of. And he always has this sweet smell around him you can’t seem to get enough of, always so obvious when the two of you are sparring.

“I- What are you doing here? Isn’t everyone in Sero’s dorm tonight?” 

Bakugou eyes flit down to the hoodie you’re wearing then back up to your face. He’s got an unreadable expression on his face and you’re starting to get annoyed.

“That’s my hoodie.” 

It was his hoodie. One you’d stolen on a day that was too cold when all of your own were in the wash. You’d ignored Mina’s teasing at the fact he hadn’t said a word about it. Until now, apparently.

You huff. “Okay. Is that why you’re breaking down my door? Would you like it back?” You start pulling at the sleeves but he rolls his eyes, waving you off.

“No, no. Why aren’t you at Sero’s?” He leans against the doorframe, arms crossed.

You guess it is weird. Once you’d been formally invited to attend, you hadn’t missed one of the movie nights Bakugo and his friends had. Once a week, at whoever’s dorm was cleanest and had a TV, everyone would crowd in on the floor and the bed to watch whatever dumb thing they’d picked that week. It wasn’t like you to miss it but it also wasn’t like Bakugo to show up at your room about it.

You tug the sleeves back on your arms. “I’m just- I told you. Not feeling it. I’m tired.”

He frowns. “Have you been crying?”

Your eyebrows furrow slightly. You swipe at your face. You had been a while ago and you’re surprised he even noticed. 

“No. Well. Not now. Whatever. Doesn’t matter. Are we done here?” 

Bakugo leans forward slightly and your cheeks flush. You try to shove him back but he doesn’t move as he peers past your shoulder. With a defeated sigh you let him, breathing in that smell that always follows him. You don’t watch as his eyes travel over the messy bed, the used tissues on the covers and the fact you’re clearly wearing the clothes you’ve slept in.

“Have you been in your room all day?” His eyes look back to meet yours and you turn away, slightly embarrassed at the tone in his voice and the close proximity. You push him back, shutting your door behind you.

“So what, it’s Saturday.”

“Doesn’t mean you should be sitting in bed all fucking day. Have you even eaten today?”

You fluster. “Yes.”

Bakugo narrows his eyes. His gaze is so focused on you. You kinda feel like you’re being scolded by a parent. 

“Proper food? Not those shitty snacks that you think you’re hiding under your bed?” He drawls, an eyebrow quirking up.

“They’re not shitty. It’s my stash. They don’t sell crunchie bars in Japan.”

“The fuck is a crunchie?” 

“Chocolate and honeycomb. It’s good. You want one?”

“The fuck? No.” Bakugo scoffs. He grabs your sleeve suddenly and starts dragging you down the hallway. 

You try to fight it at first, but who are you kidding? If Bakugo wants you to go somewhere you’re unfortunately going whether you like it or not. He’s not afraid to drag you there by your hoodie strings and the two of you know that. Mina said the fact he’s so rough with you is good, and it means he thinks you’re strong. You just think it means recovery girl sees you much more than she should. You shuffle down the corridors and let him drag you to the kitchen. 

“Wait, what are we doing here?” You ask, shivering at the cold hardwood floor on your bare feet.

Bakugo starts pulling out pots and pans. He silently takes off his slippers and pushes them over to you. “I’m making you some proper food. Not that unhealthy shit you’re always fucking eating.”

You frown, stepping into his shoes. “It’s not shit. It’s yummy.”

“It’s going to make you fat.” 

Your mouth gapes, and you shove his shoulder. “Don’t call me fat, you freak.”

“I didn’t call you fat, I said it’s going to make you fat. Especially if you sit in bed all day.” He grabs some veg from the fridge, swiftly dodging the second swipe you make at him.

You know behind Bakugo’s harsh words he means well. He won’t outright tell you that he’s worried about you, but the weird way he keeps glancing back at you tells you that he is. At least that’s what you hope. So you jump up onto your usual spot on the counter and watch him.

“And what is the great Chef Bakugo making tonight?”

“Curry.” His hands fly across the chopping board as he chops some onions.

“Yum. Can I help?”

“Fuck no.”

The same reaction to the same question you ask every time he’s in the kitchen. Bakugo works alone, you know this. You just like to annoy him whenever you can. 

And you’re perfectly content to just watch. The ripple of his muscles as his arm moves up and down over the chopping board. The way tufts of blonde hair fall in front of his face. The way he used his forearm to wipe the sweat off his forehead. 

“You’re being so quiet. It’s fucking weird.” He looks up at you from where he’s stirring something in a pot. 

You shrug. “Thought you’d like the silence, no?” You smile slightly, but the interrogative look on his face makes it fall flat.

“Not from you.” He turns to attend to the rice cooker that’s beeping to tell him it’s done. 

The meal finishes quicker than you’d think. You spend most of the time just watching, idly bringing up something random when the silences feel too long. Bakugo brings your plates into the living room. The dorms are surprisingly quiet for a Saturday night. The loudest of your class are all holed up in Sero's dorm right now, and as Bakugo drops onto the couch, you can’t help but notice the two of you are alone. He grabs the tv remote, immediately flicking through Netflix. 

You haven't sat down yet. This feels like something and you have no idea if you’re reading too much into this situation. Bakugo glances at you.

“What, I need to drag you here too? Sit.”

Truthfully, you’re too exhausted to care if it does mean something. You roll your eyes, sitting down on the couch next to him. “I’m not a dog.”

“Listened like one.”

You flick Bakugo’s head and he grunts. “Piss off and eat.”

The food smells amazing. You’re not surprised, everybody knows Bakugo is the best in your class. He just has to be good at everything. 

Just one spoon of the food is enough to have you almost moaning on the couch. “Fuck, it’s so good.” 

You speak through a mouthful, huffing smoke out your mouth. It’s too hot to eat, but you don’t care. Bakugo was right. You really hadn’t eaten all day, what with your cramps and the sadness that popped in your gut.

Bakugo smirks slightly. “Better than your crunchie bars?”

“Definitely. Though that’s a shout for dessert.”

He doesn’t dignify that with a response. He keeps clicking through the channels. Todoroki had kindly lent his fathers bank card to buy Disney+ and Netflix, and Bakugo is currently on the former. He scrolls right past your favourite movie, and you nudge his shoulder.

“Wait, put on Meet the Robinsons, please.” You nudge his shoulder more intensely and he scowls at you.

“Fuck off, no. You pick this every movie night, I’m sick of it.”

“It’s good. My comfort movie. Click.”

“No.”

“Please, Bakugo.” 

You look up at him in a way you hope is convincing enough. You think you see his eyes soften just slightly before he’s sighing, cursing you and Walt Disney under his breath. He does click play, and you cheer, bringing your bowl of curry to your lap.

You’re locked into the movie too much to see Bakugo stealing glances at you throughout the whole thing. He’s silent for all of ten minutes. Which is weird, because this is Bakugo, who is known for firing explosions at the back of Kaminari's head if he starts talking too loudly.

“If all it took for you to cheer up was this shitty movie, I’m sure Mina would’ve given up her night to choose.” 

He speaks quietly, enough that you almost don’t hear him. You don’t look at him, placing your bowl, now polished clean, back on the coffee table. You don’t say anything for a moment. Bakugo doesn’t push, and it’s that unusual tenderness he’s handling you with that makes you want to cry again. You can’t believe how pathetic you must look, that Bakugo of all people is being nice to you.

“I don’t know. I didn’t think I could handle talking to all of you guys without being all sad in the corner and ruining the fun.”

Bakugo doesn’t say anything for a moment. His eyes are still focused on the screen, and you watch as the lights dance across his face. “What happened?”

You look away from him. You breathe once. Twice. Blink a couple times to curb the tightness behind your eyes.

“I just.” You sigh shakily. “I just miss home.”

You laugh wetly, pulling the sleeves of your hoodie over your hands. You try and hide the tears that pool in your eyes but he could hear them even if he couldn’t see them.

“It’s so stupid. I just. My birthday’s coming up, and I can’t fly back home, so. I’m going to be here. And like, all that stupid stuff I used to do with my family i can’t and it just got me thinking of all the other stuff I miss. Like my bed. And my cat. And I’m also running out of crunchie bars.” 

You sigh, shaking your head. “And I feel so ungrateful. Selfish. Like, I should be happy to be here. It’s such a great opportunity, and-” 

“Don’t say that.” His words are sudden and do their job in shutting you up.

“You can be so stupid sometimes. Of course you’re going to fucking miss home. Who wouldn’t? Doesn’t make you selfish. Makes you fucking normal.” His eyes never leave the screen but you’re sure he can feel your eyes on him.

“You don’t think it makes me weak?” You mumble.

Bakugo’s eyes furrow. And then he does look at you, and it’s so intese that you want to look away. But you don’t, just fiddle with the drawstrings of his hoodie instead. Red eyes pour with emotion, and if you don’t like Bakugo for anything it’s this. He’s so passionate, about everything. About his hero work, about his feeling, even this. Even you.

“You’re not fucking weak. I’d like to see one of the idiots in our class do what you’re doing. Dunce face wouldn’t last a week.”

You snort at that, rubbing at your eyes.

“Just. Just don’t hole yourself up in your room like that. It’s stupid. If you have shit to talk about, talk about it.” 

You think he wants to say we’re here, that he’s here if you ever need him to be. But he doesn’t. Instead, he makes you food and lets you slobber all over his hoodie. He tuts as you wipe at your face with the sleeve, reaching forward to grab your wrist. His fingers are warm and so much bigger than yours that they wrap around it easily.

“Stop using my hoodie as a tissue, there’s a fucking box right there.”

“Leave me alone. I’m sad, you have to be nice to me.” You pout as he drops your hand. You immediately miss the warmth.

“Shut the fuck up. Watch your shitty movie.”

BONUS:

Mina: hey babyyyyyy

Mina: u feeling better??

Mina: Sero got oizza do u want me to being u a slice

Mina: it’s got stuffed crust🤤 ik u want a bite sooo bad

You: Stfu

You: She’s asleep

Mina: ??? 

Mina: tf r u sleep texting in third person?!?

You: Stop texting raccoon eyes ur gonna wake her up

Mina: BAKUGO???

Mina: r u in her dorm rn 😉

You: Stfu

Mina: use protection 😘

You: Kys 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

guys i kinda struggle to write for bakugo?? im always writing outgoing and energetic characters, and the fact hes so nonchalant and quiet is too hard for me... that and the fact he has never interacted with a women in canon?? hes an enigma

anyways... plzzzz give me asks i have no idea what or who to write for!

[bunnivez]

Modern! Zoya…

Her first job was as a tattoo artist. Most of her costumers were women, they would specifically ask for her to do their tattoos; both because of her amazing work and the other… to get a close look at her. Whats better? Zoya is aware of the many women she is pulling (๑>؂•̀๑)

Imagine you two meet randomly bumping against each other and turns out you work at the shop right next to the one she works at!

Or you got recomendad by your friend to go to a certain shop to get your tattoo done, telling you to specifically ask for a woman named Zoya since her work is more professional and she is more trusted to give you great results.

She used to live in an apartment until she got a husky… I mean she it wasn’t like she couldn’t afford an average house but damn, she now has to pay more…

Has a love-hate relationship with her dog TRUST. Often complains of their sudden howling and the amount of hair they shed.

“It’s 1:30AM why the fuck are you howling like that!? You sound like you’re dying!” “Oh my f… You know i’m tempted in leaving you bald so I don’t have to deal with having your hair on the couch.”

At the same time however, they are also her best buddy and friend. There are times where she even lets them sleep with her on bed… For at least an hour before Zoya falls asleep and accidentally pushes s them off the bed in the middle of the night.

Yes she is a messy sleeper, god knows how the heck she ends up with on leg on the headboard and the other hanging on the bed. She snores like a dad…

Like even her huskey got scared for a second and kept barking until she woke up.

Listen, when going out she has this whole badass outfit, rings on her fingers, chains, unbuttoned blouse, a whole ass fit that screams “DADDY”

And then there are times where she just pulls up to the grocery store with an “Idgaf” outfit… Yet somehow she still looks hot. Jorts, a black baggy shirt, socks with the damn sandals or crocs combo (ಠ_ಠ)

Has a tongue piercing and you cannot tell me otherwise. If not, it is definitely her nipples.

Dark or alcohol filled chocolates girly. She isn’t a fan of overly sweet stuff.

Once choked on boba balls.

Honestly she can be romantic at times. She takes you to dates often— if not she plans something you two can do at home. Like cook, watch movies, play games or something.

Motorcycle rides with her are very common, more so with the fact that she doesn’t really own a car… Which she did confess that she may or may not be the best at driving.

Who knows how the heck she managed to stay alive with the many incidents she’s had while driving.. I guess she’s immortal.

Has an electric guitar, she posts videos on TikTok playing it and they get pretty high views! Like 406.1k views or something.

Her reposts mainly contain of two things; brain rots, lesbian.

Takes the most silly pictures of you and posts them on her story.

Source ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

HAHAHSGSBSGAVAWHABE, IMAGINE HER LAYING DOWN WHILE YOU SIT ON TOP OF HER TO DO HER MAKEUP.

Holds you like a stuffed animal when sleeping. It’s actually so cute but it’s kinda hard to break free from her hold.

YOU GUYS PLAY ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, AND WHOEVER LOSES IS IN CHARGE OF COOKING.

Her cooking is actually pretty damn good! I feel like she is especially a specialist when it comes to cooking meat.

If you are too shy to order your food whenever you two are out, or pay, DO NOT WORRY, SHE LITERALLY IS YOUR SAVIOR, NO KIDDING. This woman gives no fucks at all, too shy to order? She’ll do it, hot your order wrong? She’ll go up and tell them.

Have I mentioned she gets up at 5AM just to do pushups?…

The type to randomly smack or grab your ass, she doesn’t care about the size.

I don’t recommend watching romance movies with her… she will cringe at any kissing scenes acting like she wouldn’t or doesn’t do that with you 24/7.

Not the best at dancing… Girl is STIFF.

I have the feeling she is the type to not admit that she is in pain during her period. She will act all tough and all until she can’t anymore.

(We need more comforting the ptn women on their period instead of the other way around, they also need comfort 😔)

Oh yeah did I also mention she was close to breaking your phone once? It all happened when you were scrolling through TikTok and saw a thirst trap (*cough* Rhea Ripley *cough*) and when I tell you grabbed your phone and threw it�� IT HAPPENED.

Says she hates kids but has a soft spot for them actually. They remind her of Horo when she was wayyy younger.

Randomly sends you weird TikToks…. Like it’s so random and she says nothing about it.

She isn’t a fan of dresses, but she once tried it for you and it was a sight. It hugged her curves right and she kept flexing her muscles. If you take any pictures she seriously will kill you. (Especially if you send them to her friends).

If you are out she WILL text and call you every 36 minutes if she can’t come with you. And if she is too busy to pick you up she will face time you on your way home.

Has like so many posters of her favorite bands, korn, kiss, Deftones, ect.

Randomly gives you kisses when you least expect it. They are so random, you could be distracted and she will kiss your cheek, or your forehead, or the top of your head.

If she sees anyone eyeing you while in public she will pull you close and give the person a nasty look.

[vigilskeep]

compelled by the Davrin/Sol/Lucanis dynamic you've been gesturing towards, would love to hear more on that relationship dynamic & how it officially came about

davrin is the ultimate fake idgafer whose correct enrichment is being so deeply long-suffering about whatever he loves in a way that makes it abundantly clear he cares so, so, so much all the time, just by the extent of what he is putting up with. if i want to maximise correct enrichment then giving him two idiot crow partners becomes not only possible but in fact inevitable

i’m hypothesising it as a gradual post-canon development. sol and lucanis are in love. sol and davrin are emotionally hitched together for life. god knows what the boys are doing but i’m pretty sure it’s flirting. these are the bare facts of the matter and at some point it is no longer in my hands whether or not they are also kissing. i didn’t choose this they’re just doing that

i like the idea of sweet and slow buildup that might be more awkward if they didn’t all know and like each other so much. sol and lucanis talk about it so they’re on the same page but theyre sort of fluttering about anxiously. davrin is a little bit uncertain about what the future of this whole thing would be, frankly not accustomed to expecting anything long term let alone with two people let alone these two people, but he is definitely aware of the effect he has and does let them suffer a little bit. Deserved. he should make them work for it actually. there is a lot of cooking happening (lucanis) and a lot of shiny gifts crow style (sol). as long as he doesn’t let them get too out of hand in their offers to kill for him i think he can sit back and enjoy this one for a minute. the others all catch him smiling about it though. NOT slick

i have a lot of stupid bits to do in this timeline. a favourite: sol and lucanis have had a shared room above the lighthouse dining room (affectionately nicknamed the crows’ nest) for ages, and one day the lighthouse decides to helpfully provide what its inhabitants want, as it always does, and moves the whole room above davrin’s. you’ve never been so uncertain how sol achieved anything against the evanuris until you’ve heard the desperation in their voice as they commit to saying, “it’s because we love. assan. so much. it’s probably reacting to how much closer we want to be to. you know. assan.” while lucanis chimes in with a “yes.” then reviews his contribution to sol’s efforts, decides this was inadequate, and adds, “exactly.”

we possibly need lucanis to get his head together and quit first talon before anything actually happens. davrin voice i’m not fixing that man he’ll fix himself if he knows what’s good for him. i have another take in my head lately about how that goes down so there is a sequence of events in my mind but you’ll have to give me a minute to flesh it out

[loveydovey489]

Mid playing COD ghosts. (I won’t stop gushing about how pretty the scenery is!!) And I had a thought.!

Ok. So. I KNOW Keegan is like. The most popular in the fandom. So maybe I’m a basic B for my first HC from this franchise to be him but IDGAF!!

So, I think Keegan: as competent as he is. Is SO bad at domestic daily things, driving, cooking, cleaning, etc.!

And I think he thinks he pretty fucking brilliant at it, for example Keegan drives in COD ghosts, he goes “heh.. watch THIS kid,😏” (so smug lmao) and then drives into EVERY. SINGLE, THING.

That’s how he’s like at home, he’ll go to the shops, he’s forgotten 2 things, the milk carton is leaking the eggs are broken. And he brags about what a good shopper he is.

He makes dinner, the pasta isn’t cooked properly, the vegetables are poorly cut and burnt. And somehow raw? And he’ll serve it up “and that’s how you make a meal” no, Keegan, it’s not 😟

And he’s a bad driver, but that’s like, cannon, nobody lets him drive, and Riley (the dog) will bark if he’s not up front. So Keegan is not allowed near the front of the car lmao

[codename-adler]

musing about jeanaaron rn.... what are your thinkings about them tell me anything

an exception from my to-do list for u orpheus and my loves Jeanaaron <3

- the height difference is EXQUISITE. 5ft vs 6ft2 😍😍😍

- backliner duo backliner tension backliner sync backliner soul

- i understand and read Aaron as a very no bullshit guy, but like, that’s it. he’s not mean about it, not cruel, not condescending, not teasing, not fake, not anything. (unless u are Neil Josten) i think that it’s very refreshing and fascinating to Jean? to meet someone who really has no ulterior motives whatsoever, in life and with his person. very trust material in Jean’s eyes methinks. the very just middle between overly sweet positivity and stabbing despair? idk, i just think Aaron shared Andrew’s honesty, but in a more neutral, idgaf way. does that make sense?

- Aaron tends to Jean’s woundssssss like no one ever has before and there is so much less pain!!!

- Jean cracks Aaron open right down the middle where nobody ever bothered to lookkkkk and there is so much more understanding!!!

- i like the Kevaaron vibe of revenge, like: you took my forever partner, i’m stealing your twin! or; you chose that moldy ginger snap, i’m choosing the same brand of bastard but he is TALL! it’s funny to me :)

- the patience they have for one another is infinite; they feel no rush, no pressure, no resentment. they would wait eternities for just one smile from the other, even if that’s all they would ever get.

- the quiet is important. silence without anticipation? a reprieve of the noise inside and outside? freely? i think they’re both silent people, but with one another there’s no forcing words, no expectations, no waiting for the other shoe to drop. the safest place where everything just stops and all is okay.

- CUDDLES. they are both hardcore heavy duty octopi in bed. holding tight tight tight tight no space all warmth. intertwined like bonsai roots.

- they looooooove to judge people together!!! especially their teammates and classmates. but the grocery store and airport are fun places too.

- i think they should learn to play instruments together. it would be very sexy. and angsty.

- i imagine them taking turns cooking, always one manning the kitchen, and the other sitting on the countertop. the kicking-against-the-cupboard-or-island length varies, but not the domesticity and intimacy of it all.

- Jean is the best teacher Aaron has ever had. for studying AND Exy. Jean is the best backliner, yes, but has that je-ne-sais-quoi that just gets through to Aaron, that just gets Aaron

- Aaron is also suchhhh a sucker for validation and making Jean proud is his #1 kink

- i think Catalina is so much like Katelyn (and woah would u look at that, such similar names 👀) that she instantly takes a liking to Aaron too, and Aaron as well right back despite his best efforts, and Jean is so touched that his bestfriend has adopted Aaron like she did with him, like he truly can have everything 🥹

- Jean immensely appreciate that Aaron is among the very very few people who does not shit on Kevin, but doesn’t worship him either.

- for what Neil did for Jean, Aaron truly starts to resent him less and less thanks to Jean offering a less idealistic vision of Neil that Andrew and the Foxes all share, but showing him Neil’s true colors that can also be good despite their violence.

- Jeanaaron on the motorcycle??? tiny beefcake plastered to Jean’s muscly broad back??? HELLO???

- back to the honesty think, i think where Jeanaaron differs from Kevaaron and is instead more similar to Andreil, is that the walls have to be taken down very painstakingly; Kevin and Aaron already know each other and have seen each others worse, there’s no armour to go through; Jean and Aaron don’t know each other at first, but they understand each other like no one, so it’s a game of truth too, one at a time, tearing down those barriers and touching that soft true heart behind; what makes them panic, what makes them scream, what plagues their nights and days, what lures in their past… it’s a whole new process of dealing with your trauma when no one else could ever handle it, much less want to look at it and kiss it better anyway.

also dusting off me old old playlist i had made for them, just for you:

take me home + 100 bandaids are really my jeanaaron anthems

[jenthebug]

OMG, it happened.

For the first time in our five year marriage, I’m annoyed with Husband. 😂

Not mad. He didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, he was running an errand that I hate (Costco) when this happened.

He bought a giant bag of vegetables that we don’t need, that takes up a ton of room in the freezer.

I’m trying to stuff the freezer with soups so we don’t have to cook much during recovery, and now there’s a big-ass bag of veggies where there should be tupperwares of soup.

So I’m going to do the reasonable thing and use them up, along with all the other frozen food that I can. Dinner? Chicken nuggets, tater tots, and veggie mix. Dinner tomorrow? Patty melts and veggie mix. Lunch? Rice bowls and veggie mix. Snack? Potstickers and veggie mix.

All the broccoli and carrots and cauliflower, all the time. Hell, I might even buy berries and try veggie mix smoothies, idgaf.

I am incredibly fortunate. Husband did too much of a good thing, went off-list at Costco and got reasonably priced healthy food at an inconvenient time. And THAT’S what annoyed me for the first time in five years.

Compare that to my ex-husband, who did shit like neglect to pay the bills or clean the house, buy a video game system with household money, smack my ass in public, and worse. He annoyed me on a nearly daily basis.

Anyway, I hope Husband is in the mood for lots of veggies lol

[wonboni]

NEWS-FLASH: S.JAEYUN

SYNOPSIS: you moved back to Seoul South Korea after living in the states for 5 years starting your senior year back your friends were happy about your return couldn’t say the same for everyone.

Pairing: SIM JAEYUN x FEM READER

Genre: smau,fluff, angst,frenemy’s to lovers?, crack bc,(ig that’s all)

Featuring:enha(all),txt(Yj,Bg,Sb),nj(Haerin),lsrfm(Yunjin,Eunchae),nct(Haechan,Chenle,Jisung)ive(Yujin)aespa(Winter,Karina)

Warnings:kys,kms jokes,swearing,bullying(friendly way ofc),Jake is low key a coward, Jake was an asshole in the past,Heeseung is blunt, Jake and Heeseung have a argument which leads to silent treatment.

Status: ongoing

Tag-list:open!!

Note:Hey I’m Minnie and I’m new to making these smau things and from my previous poll from some months ago😭,Jake has been chosen for the smau we’re doing today.Also don’t come for my poster I made it myself again all I got to say is I tried I really did but it does look like hot garbage tho but anyways enjoy

Note: there’s some updates to this cus I noticed I made many many mistakes I’m sorry but they’re fixed now pls don’t fear to tell me if I missed something cus I will correct it.

Note2: ya’ll there will be a new character that Jake find interest in for a while but it’s still Jake x reader tho also I forgot to mention everyone in this are 17-18 since they’re in 12th grade.

PROFILES:1.weirdos, 2.grandpa’s, 3.helpers, 4.privs

1.look who’s back (part2)<read this too

2.asshole

3.idgaf

4.we’re so cooked

(new character?)

5.diascord kitten reveal

6. Oh yea!

[xylomilo]

“Stop projecting on characters when u get a new brainrot” IDGAF 😭😭😭😭 anyways here’s some Company headcanons that I (mostly) projected

Dwalin

- Allergic to beef.

- Ate dirt as a kid.

- Loves mint ice cream but hates chocolate. Constantly wants to die because he can’t find JUST mint ice cream, it always has choco chips in it.

Balin

- Buys books just to not read them, says he’ll read them soon but he’s been saying that for five years now.

- Designated driver.

- Has the craziest alcohol tolerance, like he can go toe-to-toe with Thranduil’s tolerance.

Bifur

- Picks at his skin and cuticles, gets upset when he starts bleeding and goes “who did this.”

- Has minor memory issues.

- Forgets that she’s trans and then goes “what the fuck, I’m a woman, why do I have a dick.” Also buys pads but then remembers she’s trans so he gives the pads to Thorin. Thorin had a hysterectomy years ago (thanks Óin!).

Bofur

- Used to chew on his hair when he was younger.

- Bites people to show affection.

- Found out that the others were queer before some even realized. (Proof: Dinner scene in Rivendell in the extended version)

Bombur

- Unmedicated ADHD, part of the reason why he’s fat.

- Lowkey makes a mean lasagna.

- Allergic to dust but he swears he isn’t. Can literally be laying in bed with snot dripping down his nose going “ahaha no im not allergic to dust it’s just the pollen, ignore how its winter !!”

Fíli

- His main vocal tic is saying “Kíli” in a really high pitched voice.

- Autism in autism vs adhd.

- Jumped out of a two story window when he was 4 because Kíli brought over a friend that he didn’t like.

Kíli

- His main vocal tic is saying “Fíli” in a really high pitched voice.

- ADHD in autism vs adhd.

- Can’t taste flavors, will eat warheads for fun.

Glóin

- BPD.

- Has dyscalculia but would rather die than admit it 😭😭

- Road rage.

Óin

- Struggles with falling asleep and struggles with waking up (double whammy)

- If the opportunity arises, he would in fact eat someone purely out of curiosity (ex: someone dies and says that ppl can do whatever they want to their body, so why not cook a piece?)

Dori

- OCD.

- Massive germaphobe. Constantly has the urge to wash/sanitize his hands after doing something “gross” (running his fingers through his hair, scratching his arm, touching his face, etc) and gets anxious if he doesn’t.

- Can’t fall asleep unless he has Nori and Ori beside him/laying on him. Great for winter since Dori’s muscles are hidden under thick fat, horrible during summer because Dori is a furnace.

Nori

- OCD.

- Hoarder. Swears that he’ll need them later, usually won’t. If he loses something from his collection, he’ll be sad for like five minutes, unless it’s something he fought tooth and nail for.

- High weed tolerance. Out smokes Gandalf ngl.

Ori

- OCD.

- Arranges things in a specific way but it looks like a mess to others so he gets really upset if someone “cleans” it for him, forgets to drink and eat when he’s hyper-focused on something.

- Def of “i love it when ppl pick up my speaking styles!… nvm my grandpa just said skill issue.” That’s him and Dori.

Thorin

- Lactose intolerant lmao.

- Also lowkey has DpDr but denies it (Óin literally diagnosed him).

- Sleep talks. It’s how Bilbo knew what kind of ring Thorin wanted.

Bilbo

- Allergic to strawberries, apples, and bananas. Like a loser.

- Also has OCD.

- Has a personal vendetta against ants.

[tazzertopia]

phantom troupe negative traits/habits hcs

*i’m aware that being thieves and murderers are already pretty negative traits but this is more related to their personality 😊😊😊

-

chrollo

-unintentionally can sound super sarcastic and condescending

-like if he’s explaining something the cadence of his voice might sound like he’s mocking you, when in reality he just sounds like that

-if you’re in a pissy mood and he’ll ask what’s wrong it kinda sounds sarcastic ?????

-he’ll see you crying and be like:

“are you okay? what’s up?”

and you’ll kinda just be like 🤨🤨🤨 i’m literally crying ???????? what do you MEAN “what’s up?”

-he’ll apologise for sounding sarcastic but he was genuinely asking

-the troupe knows that’s just how he sounds but anyone who doesn’t know him that well just thinks he’s being a prick

shalnark

-literally has zero social awareness

-considering he sees other people as toys, he doesn’t give a single fuck about randos in public

-he’s the type to have a loud conversation on speakerphone on a busy, crowded train filled to the brim with tired people who just got off their 9-5 and want to go home 💔

“hello? yeah, of course i can talk! so today i was-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP”

“…..anyways so-“

-is always confused as to why people are glaring at him but like i said, he really couldn’t give one

-he also probably sees someone who’s about to doze off or looks visibly irritated and will make it his mission to piss them off as much as possible and strike up a conversation with them

phinks

-extremely sore loser

-if you’re playing a game with him (like mario kart) and he’s about to lose, he will walk away right then and there and quit

-will claim the game is rigged and that’s why he was about to lose (if he wins, he will rub it in and tell you to just improve at the game)

-the troupe audibly groans whenever he asks to join in when they play video games

-one time he unplugged the tv when he lost a game against feitan and shalnark (if he doesn’t win, NOBODY gets to win)

-will claim the other person cheated if he loses

“COME ON!! SHALNARK PROBABLY HACKED THE GAME OR SOMETHING, MAKING ME LOSE!”

“…have you ever considered that maybe you just suck at the game?”

*throws remote at tv*

-just let him win if you want to have a easy breezy life

uvogin

-absolutely zero volume control

-he’s loud in public, but he’s completely unaware how loud he’s being

-this also makes him the worst person to tell secrets to

*pspspspswhisperwhisperwhisper*

“YOU THINK HIS HAIRLINE LOOKS LIKE THE MCDONALDS SYMBOL?”

everyone is staring. the man with the weird hairline you tried to whisper to uvo about is staring. you are extremely embarrassed. you want the ground to swallow you whole.

-to add insult to injury, he also points.

-because of this, it’s super easy to tell when he’s talking about you because he will yell AND point

-he doesn’t gaf who hears

shizuku

-the most brutally honest person you’ll ever meet

-doesn’t sugarcoat anything

-it’s not like she wants to hurt your feelings, but she just doesn’t see the point in beating around the bush or lying

-if she thinks you look fat in something, she’ll tell you. if she thinks you don’t suit a certain colour, she’ll tell you. if she thinks your cooking tastes like actual dookie left out to cook in the desert sun, she will not hesitate to tell you.

-she also will not apologise if she hurts your feelings

-“why do i need to apologise for being honest?”

-she is winning the idgaf war 100%

-will probably forget what she said as well, which makes it worse

feitan

-rather than ask to borrow something of yours like a normal person, he will steal it and then proceed to gaslight you when you confront him about it

-makes sense for him due to his ‘thieves take what they want’ mentality

-will have you convinced that your memory is patchy

“feitan where the fuck are are my scissors?”

“beats me.”

“i know you took them.”

“did not.”

“they were on the counter like five minutes ago and you’re the only one in here”

“no they weren’t.”

-this will carry on until you admit you were wrong for accusing him, or you just drop it

-occasionally he will start drama with the other troupe members by stealing their shit (usually phinks) and making it seem like someone else did it

nobunaga

-quite possibly the most indecisive man you’ll ever meet

-you’d much rather prefer to get sentenced to eternal torture at guantanamo bay than have to ask nobunaga what restaurant he wants to go to later tonight

-“my mind will be made up by tonight, i swear!”

-it wasn’t.

-he’s one of those annoying indecisive people who will insist that you choose, but will get mad if you don’t choose the option he secretly sorta preferred

“i can’t decide between place a or b, you choose!”

“place b”

“really? place a looks much more classy”

“THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU PICK PLACE A?!”

-you’re convinced he’s only acting like this to piss you off, but he’s just like that

-in the end, you have to force him to flip a coin or else he wouldn’t get anywhere decision-wise

pakunoda

-she often gets lost in thought and zones out, which results in her unintentionally staring at people for a little too long

-because of her stern resting face (or rbf), it usually comes across as her glaring at you, which feels a lil uneasy, especially if you’re not close with her

-she will apologise profusely when she comes to, but before she does she will just be looking at you like

👁️_👁️

-as well as this, she will sometimes try and touch you to purposefully see your memories if she’s a bit suspicious of you for whatever reason

-if she thinks you’re lying about something for example, she will intrude your thoughts

-she’s not a particularly touchy-feely person so it’s quite amusing to see her try and touch you for seemingly no reason out of the blue

-a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do 🤷‍♀️

machi

-despite being one of the more upfront and mature members of the troupe, she’s also the worst one for holding grudges

-like she will hold a grudge for literal ages

-there are many she’s had for so long that she can’t even remember why she was mad in the first place

-at this point it’s more about keeping a streak than actually being mad

-best case scenario is that she forgets about it altogether or else best believe she will NOT be forgiving you. ever.

-she’s still pissed at the old guy who stepped on her toes by accident two years ago. and the waiter who tripped and dropped the tray on her eight months ago. or the questionable comment hisoka made last week.

-talks about getting vengeance on those she holds grudges against but can’t even remember who they are or what they did

“i swear i will find them, wherever they are, so they will get what’s coming to them.”

“that’s nice and all, but WHO are they and what did they do?”

“….. it’ll come to me soon hold on..”

-feels incomplete without holding a grudge against someone

franklin

-his big ass does NOT look where he’s walking and will bump into anything and anyone

-don’t expect him to apologise tho

-“apologise? maybe you should watch where you’re going.”

-don’t even try to fight him on this

-doesn’t see it as his duty to move out the way, but the duty of those around him

-the absolute NERVE

-the only reason why no one confronts him about it is because he’s tall and big as hell

-don’t die for getting bumped into

bonolenov

-one thing about him is that when he’s mad, he’ll give people the SILENT treatment

-heavy on silent

-could go for centuries if he wanted to

-and trust he’s a pro at keeping it up

-he doesn’t gaf if you’re in danger, he’ll keep on giving you the cold shoulder

-he won’t stop because he feels bad, but because he just can’t be bothered to keep ignoring you

-he will randomly just start talking to you again one day and will act confused if you question why he’s taking to you again after so long

-he won’t apologise for it tho 💯

kortopi

-his minuscule ass is always stepping on everyone’s trotters

-honestly sometimes he does it out of spite and will give look at you like 👁️ if you confront him

-there’s not much to say about him except he will sometimes accidentally sometimes not step on your feet

i fear i’m missing more members but irdgaf rn so enjoy !!!!! also these are fun to write to pls pls pls give me suggestions xoxoxo

[odinsblog]

So here is the long and short of it:

Google used (uses) geofencing data, location data that undeniably shows where you and your phone have been.

Google sells this data to data brokers and advertisers, whether you like it or not. And yeah, it wouldn’t surprise me if Apple also did/does this, but if they do, Tim Cook has done a yeoman’s job of keeping it secret.

Google also hands out your location data to police departments (and governmental agencies led by conservative, anti-abortion Republicans, but I’m sure that’s unimportant, right?).

Now—and here’s the crux of the matter—just as the government was using Google’s location data to prosecute January 6th rioters, Google has had a sudden change of heart and will effectively limit their ability to remotely store your GPS information on their servers (which means it will mostly only be available locally on your Android phone’s hard drive, thus making it significantly harder - not completely impossible - for Google to give the police access to bulk location data, even if presented with a search warrant).

The bottom line is, it was always wrong for Google to collect and then sell their “reverse location search data” to advertisers, data miners, the police and the government. The germane question is, why now? Why has Google suddenly found Jesus, so to speak, and decided that customers privacy rights are sacrosanct, just as the U.S. government is using that data to prosecute Trump sycophants who wanted to overthrow the election?

SN: I think the whole green bubble vs. blue bubble argument is a stupid made up problem by whiny people who don’t have enough real problems in life (if you disagree then please go make your own post), and Idgaf if you’re an Android or an iPhone user. If you’re happy with your phone, that’s all that matters — but our privacy rights constantly being violated isn’t trivial, that’s actually very important. And Google suddenly deciding that now is the best time for them to end their practice of ratting people out seems highly sus.

👉🏿 https://www.emptywheel.net/2023/11/25/the-maga-tourist-geofence-and-the-violent-confederate-flag-toting-geofence/

👉🏿 https://www.forbes.com/sites/cyrusfarivar/2023/12/14/google-just-killed-geofence-warrants-police-location-data/

[habibisagi]

not getting reblogs on my character posts is never stopping me from making them and thinking i’m still correct about them btw. if you let reblogs measure your worth on this website you are cooked 👍 because no amount of reblogs can ever measure the worth of my words. stuff i post about for myself, characterize for myself, for my fun, will always have the worth of being “right” TO ME. because i said so. fictional guy WOULD do this actually, to ME. and idgaf if you disagree !