#i’m babbling because it’s late and I can afford to think blorbo thoughts rn

[canayams-art]

Crazy to me that there are people out there who genuinely believe Pei Xiu was/is a social climber cos I’m almost certain any ambitions he had of greatness were ripped to pieces the moment he lost Ban Yue. That man did NOT want to be great anymore and yet he ascended anyway.

Guy whose ascension was built on blood and guilt and shame. Guy who was honestly relieved to be in exile. Guy who only kept up the ruse of being a respectable god to save Pei Ming’s reputation but willingly forfeited that respectability when the vengeful spirits of Banyue Pass had finally been dealt with and the opportunity presented itself on trial.

Pei Ming even brings up the fact that Pei Xiu would rather defend/protect Ban Yue and remain in mortal exile than reach “greatness” again by turning her over to him. It’s a jab at Pei Ming’s pride considering he likely had influence in Pei Xiu’s ascension. Pei Ming is basically saying he stuck his neck out for Pei Xiu and Pei Xiu is throwing it back in his face. Pei Ming saw his own nepotism as a grace bestowed upon a grateful party, but Pei Xiu never forgot the reality of why he was recognized by the heavens.

Pei Xiu ascended as a result of his gruesome actions. He was a god of slaughter and war. His story is one of a man who had the ambition to beat the odds of his estranged heritage (Pei family being in exile), rise in the ranks to become something more than his family’s reputation, and ultimately pay the steepest price, which made all of his efforts no longer worth it when he finally made it to the highest peak.

I think it’s important to remember that his actions are consistently guided by the fact that he has so few choices and every option is bad. I don’t see a social climber—I see a survivalist whose exile was the thing that finally set him free.