#i’m alright i promise!! i’d say i’m feeling hopeful and happy despite and kinda bc of everything going on

[fatelcved]

i’m starting to get a lil bit more settled since this is my last week at my old job and have worked a bit at my new job — thank you for being patient with me as always!! i promise i’ll be properly around soon, and pls know i’m itching to write and talk with y’all 💜

[lovely-angst]

Hi I saw your post can I request a scenario with dabi and female reader having an argument vut with fluff ending, thank you so much 💗

a/n: this took so long bc i couldn’t sit and write for more than like 10 minutes a day. but this fic is  l e n g t h y  bc this is the kinda of angst I like hehe. also, it’s hard writing for dabi! his character is so complicated!

tw: arguing

genre: fluff and angst

pairing: dabi x reader

summary: you and dabi get into a heated argument and trying to fix the relationship is harder than it seems.

word count: 3.5k

03.09.2021

-

It was probably a bad idea that you ran out of the house at night, but you felt as if you had no other choice. You and Dabi had just gotten into a heated argument—the most heated argument the two of you had ever had actually.

It might have been over something stupid, but it had been running through your mind for the past few weeks, so it couldn’t have been that stupid. Not to you at least.

Your eyes were stained red from all of the crying you had done prior, but every time you thought back to the words the two of you threw at each other, you couldn’t help the blurriness of the tears that filled your eyes.

“If you’re so miserable with me, why don’t you just leave!” Dabi shot at you as anger filled your entire body. 

“I can’t!” you shouted back before sadness washed over you, tears quickly rising to your eyes as you stared over at your boyfriend. “I have nowhere else to go anymore because I left everything behind for you!” 

“I never asked you to! Maybe you should’ve thought about that when you decided to mess around with someone like me.”

“You didn’t have to ask! I did it because I love you! But you wouldn’t understand because you don’t care about me!” You shouted angrily at Dabi, who was fuming at you with clenched fists, 

“You’re right, I don’t care. Get out of my fucking place.” 

Staring down at your hands, you let out a sigh. You were starting to miss Dabi. Even after everything that had just happened, your heart was still full of love for him. There was no way he meant it, right?

It wasn’t that you were miserable with Dabi, you loved him with all your heart. You had just wanted him to put more effort into the relationship, into you. He was always away doing whatever work he had to do and you missed him—Dabi was all you had left.

Reaching into the pockets of your light jacket, you frowned upon only finding a few napkins and empty wrappers from whatever treat you had snacked on. In a rush to leave the apartment, you had forgotten to take your phone and wallet, leaving you with nothing.

Sniffling, you glanced around at the empty streets, trying to find a warm place to stay at. It wasn’t terribly cold, but cold enough where you would love to be someplace warm. Going home wasn’t an option, seeing how Dabi had just kicked you out, but going back to your parents was an even worse option. They had given you an earful about Dabi and you were practically disowned when you left with him.

It was just like any other day. The two of you were on his roughed-up couch that so happened to fit the two of you perfectly. Dabi sat behind you as you sat in between his slender legs in a comfortable silence. 

He had this place for himself when he didn’t feel like staying overnight at the league and it used to feel so big when it was him alone. But recently, you’ve been occupying this space with him which made everything feel so much warmer. 

And he told you. “You should move in with me,” he said, earning a small smile from you. 

But you knew it couldn’t be that simple. 

“My parents don’t want me around you anymore,” you told him softly in his arms. “They said you’re not a person I should be spending my time with.” 

“Well, you’re old enough to be making your own decisions,” he huffed and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “I am,” you told him, finding his hands and gently running your fingers along them.

“But if I decided to move in with you, they’ll disown me. Cut me off from the family,” a heavy sigh escapes your lips, slumping back on your boyfriend’s chest. 

“Yeah, but we can be our own family,” he said before a small wave of silence fell upon the two of you. Turning around to face him, you couldn’t help the sad smile on your face, “Could we really though? I mean, you’re busy and if I’m no longer with my family, I’d be alone.” 

“Trust me, doll,” he starts with a smirk, pushing hair away from your face, “we will make it work.”

You stared up into his blue eyes hesitantly. Dabi was no family guy. He wasn’t even the type of guy to settle with someone, yet here he was asking you to move in with him to be his family. 

But you loved him too much. 

Placing a gentle hand on his chest, you lean forward to press a kiss onto his lips before slightly pulling away, “Promise me you’ll take care of me?”

Dabi let out a small chuckle, grinning before pressing a kiss to your forehead, “Promise.”

You were really alone now.

-

Panting heavily, Dabi stared at the door you had just slammed shut as you fled from the apartment the two of you shared. Good riddance, he thought, storming over toward the bedroom to cool himself down—his flames were about to burst out any minute now with how angry and irritated he was.

He had already told you that he couldn’t be that perfect boyfriend who could do all these amazing things for you. You knew this and you had told him it was alright because you love him. So what was that back then?

Roughly running his hands through his hair, he sat back against the bed before letting out a heavy sigh and rubbing his eyes out of frustration. Maybe telling you to get out of the apartment was a bit much, but Dabi knew you’d eventually find your way back. You always did.

Grabbing his phone from beside him, Dabi decided to shoot you a text telling you to come back because it would be a hassle to take care of you if you got sick—his way of telling you he cared.

It was late in the night already and Dabi was tired from everything. He wished that you could’ve been there for him to hold when he drifted off into a dreamless slumber, but you weren’t because of him.

Walking over to the front door, Dabi made sure the door was unlocked if you had decided to sneak your way back in. Which he secretly hoped you would.

Upon opening the fridge, Dabi’s heart clenched once he saw all of the food you had cooked and stored away for him with little notes written on them.

‘I know you hate fish, so this doesn’t contain any fish!’

‘This dish has a lot of meat so eat up to get all your protein in because you’ve been working so hard <3′ 

‘This one is my favorite, so try it out and see if you like it just as much as me :^)’

Did you have to be so stupidly cute?

Dabi was weak against you, and he knew it too. Heating up the dish you deemed your favorite, he walked over towards the small dinner table that would fit the two of you perfectly.

Staring down at the dish, Dabi let out a chuckle—of course this dish was your favorite. And it tasted like home too, something he seemed to enjoy more of when you were here too. 

He really did miss you too.

It had been a week since you moved in with Dabi. He enjoyed coming home to you sharing the space with him and making it more homely and warm. Dabi was quite ecstatic that you agreed to live with him, but there was only one problem.

You didn’t seem so...happy. 

Dabi would often catch you staring off into space or constantly staring out the window as you let your thoughts run wild. And when he would finally build up the courage to ask, you’d respond with a smile.

“No, I am happy to be here with you,” you’d remind him softly, “I just kinda miss my family.”

And though Dabi knew that, he couldn’t help but want to be selfish and keep you here to himself. You were his family now and you chose to be his a part of this family when you agreed to live with him. 

“But we’re our own family now and we’ll take care of each other,” you told him with a smile despite your sadness.

You seemed to always find the right words to soothe Dabi’s thoughts. You were great at helping him—even when he couldn’t seem to help you at all.

Twitching awake, Dabi glanced around confused. When did he fall asleep? His discarded dish was still on the table right where he left it. He must’ve fallen asleep when his thoughts consumed him.

Glancing over at his phone, Dabi frowned when two hours had passed and there was no response from you. You didn’t even bother looking at his text. Were you seriously that upset? Letting out a sigh, Dabi decided to call you instead, hoping to get you home safe.

It wasn’t until he heard your familiar ringtone playing from the living room that Dabi had realized that you left your phone. Which meant you were out somewhere alone and defenseless in this sketchy neighborhood. It had already been two hours. Who knows what could have happened to you.

He always felt as if you were so small and so fragile that it would be so easy to break you.

“Fuck,” Dabi mumbled as he ran into the bedroom to grab his hoodie and a mask before taking off searching for you. Even with most of his skin covered, he could still feel the chill of the late night.

Where could you be at a time like this?

As he ran through the quiet neighborhood, he was glad to see that no one was out and about doing whatever shady business they had going on. But to Dabi’s surprise, there you were, just a few feet away from the apartment.

You sat crouched into a tiny ball as you hid your face in your knees, looking extra small and extra fragile.

Dabi let out a relieved sigh before gently walking towards you, his feet tapping against the concrete gently before stopping in front of you.

“(Name),” he called as gently as he could, “It’s cold out. Let’s go back,” but you didn’t budge. “Stop being stubborn and let’s go back,” Dabi’s voice was laced with irritation before you finally moved, which should have been a great sign. But seeing how you shifted away from him, bothered him more than he liked to admit.

“I don’t want to go back,” you say weakly, curling in on yourself. Dabi scoffed, “Then are you going to stay out here in the cold? I know you have nowhere else to go.”

Your head raised slowly to glance up at him, a heartbroken look on your face before you stood up to face him. “That’s exactly why I don’t want to come back. You promised me you’d take care of me, but look where we are now.”

Turning away from him, you let out a sigh, “I think this relationship is too much for you right now, Dabi. You’re not ready to have another person in your life.”

And your words seem to hurt Dabi more than he had expected. It was just an argument. Things like this always happen in relationships, right? So how come things were turning for the worse?

“You’re dramatic, (Name),” Dabi chuckled. “Just come back and it will be better in the morning.”

He didn’t know how to fix this anymore.

“We can’t act like that argument didn’t happen, Dabi. That was the worst argument we’ve had, and it really hurt me,” you continued, lips quivering as you blinked rapidly, trying to hold back your tears.

“Just come back to the apartment,” Dabi tried once more, but with a surprising calm. “It’s not safe out here and it’s warmer.”

You hated how he could crumble your resolve with a few simple words—you were head over heels for this man. Stuffing your hands in your pockets, you dig your shoes into the ground, “Only for tonight. If things don’t work out, then I’ll find a new place to stay at.”

And though your words carried a heavyweight, Dabi was just glad you agreed to come back. Maybe if he snuggled up into you when the two of you went to bed, you’d forgive him.

But when he saw you setting up your bed on the couch, he realized that this was a bigger problem than he had discovered.

“What are you doing?” Watching you fluff out your pillow, you quietly got into your makeshift bed, bringing the covers towards your cheeks, “I’m going to bed,” you replied, shutting your eyes as you turned into the couch.

“But why are you on the couch?” 

“Because I don’t want to be around you right now,” you mumble into the blankets, hiding your face from your boyfriend as he stood there irritated.

“You’re being such a baby right now,” Dabi responds angrily, but you only replied with a hum, further irking the male as he trudged towards the bedroom and thankfully, shutting off the lights for you on his way.

It hurt to see that Dabi wasn’t as upset as you were about this problem the two of you were having. You wanted to fix this because you love and care for him, but you couldn’t say the same about him. Snuggling deeper into your blanket, you hoped that this night “apart” would help the two of you sleep on the problem and be able to face each other the next day.

-

Your constant stirring had woken you up from your sleep, though you weren’t able to get much sleep anyways. Every time you closed your eyes, all you could see was the fight that you and Dabi had gotten into.

Anything you dreamt of seemed to be a replay of what had led to now. You couldn’t escape.

Sighing, you let your arm hang off the couch only to have the back of your hand bump into something. Gently, your hand brushes against the foreign object before your eyes widen when your fingers brush across something soft.

Dabi?

Gently turning, your eyes land on Dabi, who asleep on the floor beside you with a small blanket covering his taller frame. Your fingers that landed themselves in his hair gently ran across down to his face, brushing along his scars as he slept peacefully beneath your hand.

Watching Dabi sleep was something you could never get tired of. He always looked so at peace, so relaxed and so carefree and you couldn’t help but wish for him to always have a restful sleep. You just wanted him to be happy.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice the hand coming up to brush across your own before they gently held your smaller one in yours. 

Words weren’t exchanged as the two of you laid there in silence as Dabi gently caressed the back of your hand with his thumb. A small but very comforting affection for the two of you—something you didn’t know you were craving.

“Did I wake you?” your words finally cut the silence as you laid there, basking in the feel of his hand in yours. “I didn’t know you were there.”

“It didn’t feel right sleeping in the bed alone,” A strange confession coming from the man who seemed to strive alone, but it was sweet hearing it from him, feeling how his hand gently caressed yours.

Gently prying your hand from his, you noticed how he tensed slightly before you brought your fingers back to his face gently, running across his scars once more.

“I don’t want you to leave.”

His words cut the thick silence that filled the space between the two of you. Your hand stopped right above his eyes before your brows arched sadly as you listened to him. “We’re our own family now. We’re all we’ve got.”

A sigh escaped your lips as you laid flat against the cushions of the couch, staring up at the dark ceiling above you, “I love you, Dabi, but this isn’t what a family is supposed to feel like. You promised you’d take care of me, but...I just feel like I’ve been doing it all on my own.”

Your eyes stung with tears that began to surface as your emotions came crashing back down on you.

You love Dabi, you really do, but you deserved to be treated better.

“I’m not miserable with you Dabi, I love being with you. It’s just hard when you’re all that I have left and you’re not here too,” you reminded gently, trying not to upset him. But even now, he remained silent.

“If we want things to work, I need you to talk to me,” you were met with silence and you had thought Dabi had fallen asleep but when you turned to glance at him and saw his blue eyes staring off into the distance, you knew it couldn’t work.

Turning back into the couch, you pulled your blankets up towards your cheek once more, letting your tears run freely, “I’ll be gone by the morning. Thanks for everything.”

Dabi laid there listening to your quiet sobs as you cried yourself to sleep on the couch beside him. And to be short, Dabi was freaking the fuck out.

He wanted to say something, anything, but his voice was stuck in his throat. Everything he wanted to tell you was caught and shoved back instead of flowing from his lips.

Sitting up after hearing your breathing even out, Dabi hovered over your, watching how your tears glistened with the faint moonlight and the way your breath would hitch every so often.

He really did love you, even when he couldn’t express himself to you.

Letting the back of his fingers glide across your skin gently, Dabi allowed himself to relax as he watched your peaceful state. You really did deserve so much better than a villain like him.

But he wanted to be selfish.

“You deserve so much more than this,” Dabi’s fingers run across your delicate features as he watched the way your chest rises and falls, “but I can’t give you anything.

“I can’t do anything for you like you do for me. All I do is get upset at you because you just want me to show you a little bit of love when you give me unconditional love.”

“I won’t get mad at you for leaving. I wish I could’ve given you a better family, but I don’t even know what a real family is.” Quietly standing, Dabi leans down to kiss your temple gently before giving you one last glance.

“You were the best thing to have happened to me.” his footsteps fade into the distance as he walked back into the empty bedroom.

Your eyes open once Dabi left, leaving you in the living room as your heart clenched with every word and emotion he managed to squeeze out from his conflicted heart.

You just couldn’t leave him.

-

The birds were chirping freely outside beyond the walls of his small apartment, which meant you had already left. 

With an arm over his eyes, Dabi tried not to think about it—about you, but how could he not when he was so in love with you? 

“ugh, fuck,” he grumbled as he tried sitting up in his bed, only to feel something restricting him. Peeling his arm from his eyes, Dabi glanced down only to be surprised to see you clinging onto his waist as you hid your face in the side of his chest. “(Name)?”

A sleepy whine left your lips as you moved your head around before adjusting yourself beside him, breath evening out once more as you continued to doze off.

He wasn’t sure when or how you got into the bed with him, but he thought maybe this was God’s last gift to him—allowing him to have you in his arms once more before his world would continue to drag him along the ends of the Earth. 

And once Dabi intertwined his limbs with yours, he fell asleep just as fast as he woke up. 

It wasn’t until he felt something weaving in his hair that he woke up for the second time that morning. His tired eyes slowly opened before he turned his head towards the body beside him, eyes catching onto yours before a fragile why fell from his lips. 

“I know it’s hard for you to tell me how you feel and I’m sorry for pressuring you into doing it. But I heard everything you said last night. Thank you.” You place a gentle hand on his chest before lifting yourself onto his chest, your eyes focused on his vulnerable expression.

“It’s hard for the both of us, but if you’re willing to give a little bit more into this small family of ours, we’ll be just fine.”

Dabi couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips as he brought his hands to the back of your head, bringing your forehead to his, enjoying the way your breaths mingled, “anything for you, doll.”

[magireco]

Would love to hear more thoughts on how these girls have understandable teenage motivations (A+ tag analysis by the way)

1. Thank you!!!!!!

2. ALRIGHT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (shuffles my papers). i’ve gone off about homura’s motivations in depth before but i think it was only in dms/groupchats? anyways i’ll go in order with All the girls bc i think about this all the time as a teenager who grew up mentally ill and had their perceptions skewed because of it, and also i don’t think it’s talked about nearly enough for the others, at least on my blog... so, buckle up!!! this is REALLY LONG!!!! 

3. i tried writing like, an individual thing for every member of the quintet all together in this one ask, but i ended up talking a little too much about homura and now i’m going to split up all the different analysis stuff for each character into the reblogs and work on it every so often! you’re free to kinda skim of course because i really did write a whole novel but here we go!! read under the cut. :3 this is literally essay length btw. i did NOT expect it to get this long but if you want to read it all i’d recommend it but i don’t expect most people to

First: Homura Akemi

okay so i’m going to kind of summarize everything but from the perspective of empathizing with her so if you don’t want to reread a whole recap you can skip to the ending few paragraphs

Summary

first of all, in episode 10, homura’s past is explained for the viewer. she was a shy, unsure girl who had been bedridden for a long time. she was clearly unsocialized, not to mention she went to a catholic school and those can be brutal, esp in japan... that’s all we know about her in that episode, but it’s revealed in one of the drama cds that she was bullied as a child(& further at mitakihara middle), her parents never were mentioned ever (i assume them to either be dead or neglectful, considering she lives alone and unchecked), and in magia record, homura says to natsuki that she’s never had friends before, she hasn’t been on vacation before until the beachside bonds event, hasn’t ever celebrated valentine’s day, has never celebrated new years, etc... 

clearly, she’s missed out on a lot not only because of her sickness and hospitalization, but because of her isolation as a child at school. judging by her demeanor and the way she reacts when madoka comes up to her without being asked to, something like that had never happened to her before. it’s clear to me that madoka was many of homura’s “first’s”, her first friend, the first person who reached out to her, the first person to compliment her name honestly(validating her, disproving her dislike of her name), the first person to regard her so kindly rather than judging her based off of her appearance and demeanor (like other students had apparently done, this is also shown when the other students at mitakihara middle make fun of her for being tired after only being able to run one lap). AND, madoka (and mami, but homura knew madoka better at that time) saved her life, even though homura was so willing to die, just in that moment... i’d assume it made homura feel like someone believed in her even when she was at her worst. it’s really clear by the glimmer in her eyes that these are nice people that made her feel happy and welcome... and then walpurgisnacht came. she didn’t know much about magical girls and just believed in madoka and mami to be able to defeat the witch because she saw them as strong and saw the witch as defeatable, despite its size. and then mami died, right in front of her and madoka... 

this kinda seems headcanon-y when i phrase it this way but it’s practically proven in her actions but i really think homura is scared to be abandoned, especially by someone who was as overtly kind and nonjudgemental to her as madoka... it’s in the way she cries her name and says “don’t go” before madoka runs away to fight walpurgisnacht. OH ALSO, i need to address this one thing really quick because people like to assume that homura didn’t care about mami from the beginning and only liked madoka. it’s not that she wasn’t sad when mami died, she was clearly terrified and didn’t want the same to happen to madoka, also mami LITERALLY WASN’T IN HER CLASS OR HER GRADE so i assume she spent most of her time with madoka considering they were in the same grade and class and probably shared most of their periods with each other... but also, once again, mami is older than both of them and homura probably saw her as more of a mentor/teacher that she needed to impress rather than madoka who was more on her level, i guess?

anyways, moving on... homura had to see madoka die (& experience the crushing guilt she felt for “letting madoka go” even though there was nothing she could’ve done) and literally says “i’d rather you had lived than saved someone like me” ... her self worth is below zero. she makes her wish to be strong enough to protect madoka(because she sees madoka, her first friend, who saved her life which she felt had no worth, as so strong and noble) which causes her to go back in time, etc. etc., you know the deal. okay before i move on to talk a little more abt the timelines and the personality change i’m going to address why it’s reasonable that she’d be attached to madoka.

i mentioned before that homura said herself that she had never had a friend before. just like, put yourself into her shoes for a second. this girl has no idea how to make friends; it was never taught to her. it’s literally rational that she’d get attached to her first ever friendship. it’s not “normal” the way she views madoka, but how could it be? this is her first time having a friend, she’s afraid of being abandoned by her, but she’s had to see her die over and over again anyway. she doesn’t want to lose madoka. even if she doesn’t go about it in the right way, there’s no way she would’ve actually known how to Do relationships. no one taught her. i think that needs to be empathized with more...

i kinda feel like i need to summarize all this just bc if i word it right it kinda reminds you & puts into perspective just how terrible and scary all of this was.

anyway Again, i would skip straight to the end of timeline 3 (where a New Flavor of trauma is given to homura) but i need to first address timeline 2 for a second. it was homura’s first time repeating the timeline, she trained with madoka and mami again, she was still hopeful despite what happened, etc. kinda just bonding further with madoka Again... and then it’s at the end of this timeline that she watches madoka turn into a witch, just in front of her very eyes... and realizes the true fate of magical girls. when she resets the timeline again, it’s up to her to start anew and break the truth to the group when she sees them again. when she tries telling the truth, sayaka immediately shoves this aside, claiming homura was just trying to split everyone up. it’s clear that that hurts homura. (also the little shinies in her eyes were wavering which is anime-code for sad) her feelings were immediately disregarded by sayaka and she couldn’t defend herself, but madoka did for her, and mami tried to diffuse the situation. 

after they all find out homura was right when sayaka turns into a witch, mami kills kyoko and ties up homura in her ribbons and aims a gun at her, and this, rightfully, ignited a fear within homura... madoka is forced to kill mami in order to save homura, leaving only the two of them to fight together. then, when walpurgisnacht comes that time, The Promise is made... madoka tells homura to go back in time and save her from becoming a witch (because she doesn’t want to curse the world that way, she still sees beauty in it) and homura agrees, saying she’ll never stop until she saves madoka, and then... homura has to mercy kill madoka before she becomes a witch. she cries loudly and shoots madoka’s soul gem... it’s literally so heartwrenching and (usually) brings the viewer to tears, or puts something into perspective for them...

then we assume the personality change happens in the timeline right after. this personality change causes a lot of discourse because sometimes it’s seen as kind of irrational, but personally, i think even moemura had at least SOME resent for the world around her considering what she’d been through. it’s madoka’s repeated deaths that finally push her over that edge. i could get further into the coolmura arc but that’d take a WHILE, so i’ll just kind of explain something briefly though -- why homura ended up becoming even MORE focused on madoka. and i’m also going to debunk the claim that homura doesn’t care about her other friends as fast as i can before moving on.

also, ONE LAST side tangent, for those that think homura really did do a 360 degree personality turn are wrong. it’s shown explicitly in homulilly’s labyrinth that there’s this... “core” homura, a shadowy purple silhouette with braids. every time the series depicts homura’s internal self, it’s always glasses+braids, symbolizing her “child” self, who she truly is. she never stopped being that person. she doesn’t want to kill. ...but i can get into that in a rebellion analysis later! this is also shown in wraith arc bc the person inside her soul gem has glasses+braids. anyway let’s get to the next part i’m going to rant about

Homura’s Love for Madoka, but Otherwise Apathy

homura has seen many different, yet all similar, versions of her friends. the first claim i’m going to talk about which i saw brought up quite a few times before is in regards to homura and mami. first of all, homura absolutely still cares for mami, and not just in the “i only care about your life if it affects madoka’s” way. one part that always gets me is when mami ties her up in the series timeline after homura frantically warns her that this witch isn’t normal, to which mami IMMEDIATELY brushes this off, without even giving homura a chance. then, when mami’s ribbons fade away, homura looks horrified and just goes “oh no...” and it’s kind of obvious to me that it was in response to mami’s death rather than madoka’s reaction. this is arguably up for debate i guess because i’ve seen different takes on that reaction and it’s ambiguous, i guess? but i’m about to get into something extremely similar and that’s the sayaka situation, where madoka throws sayaka’s soul gem onto a moving car. homura gasps and immediately pauses time and disappears, running in literal open traffic and climbing on top of a moving car to retrieve sayaka’s soul gem. one could argue that this is ALSO only just because homura wants to save madoka (and kyoko) the fear, but don’t you think her expression would be different? if homura truly didn’t care for sayaka’s wellbeing, wouldn’t she be making an expression more similar to like, “oh, this shit again...” instead of the frantic one she was making in the scene? this kind of thing Also happens when kyoko asks homura to leave while kyoko’s about to sacrifice herself in oktavia’s labyrinth, and homura looks up sadly at kyoko and then back down at madoka, and once she knew kyoko was dead, she just quietly said “kyoko...” to herself. she usually refers to them as [last name, first name], but she dropped that during that moment... it otherwise sounds like a bare minimum thing to do, but keep in mind the timeline we’re shown in the series is implied to be like, the 110th timeline, i think? like, this is the last timeline, she’s worn down, but she still does have empathy -- or at least sympathy -- for the others. she still loves them. 

homura promised to be madoka’s protector, she dedicated her life to her, and also she doesn’t have a choice not to dedicate her life to her anymore, even though that’s not fair to her... homura is in a really hopeless situation and madoka is her hope, and madoka is the one that judges her the least out of the quintet (like saying “i’m sure homura is good” to herself) upon first impression. also okay i mentioned this already in my last post (which you saw) but i’m going to bring it up one more time, homura is not mentally 26!!!!!! she is still 14 mentally!! in order to be 26, you have to have experienced 26 years of new life experience. maybe you acquire that through school, maybe you aquire that through friends, whatever it takes. but homura just repeated the same month over and over, and it’s not like her body (canonically) ages ever. she just kind of gets transported back into her body in the hospital again considering she’s back wearing her braids and pajamas... so, yeah. no mental development there. i also mentioned this here but i’m gonna say it again, that just makes it even harder for her to actually age correctly... it stunts her to 14. imagine being 14 for 10-11 years...

In Defense Of My Own Claims

btw before you think i’m just going full-on radical homura apologist, i’m not explaining all of this to be like “homura made ALL THE RIGHT DECISIONS because her trauma gave her an excuse!!” because like, Obviously, she did a lot of bad things, she killed people, did a lot of callous things, a lot of thoughtless things, a lot of things that make her seem emotionless, etc. but i just have trouble blaming her considering how things ended up, and it’s not like she enjoys killing people. she’s not sadistic... she ends up becoming short with all the others not only because of her (extremely) weakened trust in them, but also because the amount of times she repeated the timeline. i’d imagine it makes her feel like the others can’t truly die because she can just go back and see them again. (this is also why wraith arc/post-tv series must’ve been hard for her because she can no longer turn back time, things are permanent now, deaths are forever) she’s become so worn down that she’ll do anything to escape the loops... also considering she has no choice but to continue? although it shouldn’t be, it’s technically her job as a magical girl to defeat all witches and walpurgisnacht counts. it kills magical girls and tears up the whole city and she’s usually the only magical girl left... her choices, when defeated, are either to give up and die or to go back and try again, and she made a promise to her first ever friend to do just the latter... i just don’t understand how this isn’t easier for people to comprehend, that all of this trauma and stress and responsibility on top of an already traumatized 14 year old does not mix well. ever. she had to figure out all of this by herself.

TL;DR:

homura was a previously traumatized, unsocialized 14 year old with (very)low self esteem & self worth whose first friend (and first love, really, let’s be honest) died in front of her in horrific ways and she watched as she (and the other friends she came to make) drifted slowly apart from her in her endless and futile attempt in saving her from what proved to be an inescapable fate. also she’s 14 and also she’s (canonically) mentally ill and a lesbian. not a monster, not evil, not “psycho”. and that’s that!

[blackberry-gingham]

I love your writing so much!💗 could you write something about how each of the boys would calm the reader down after a panic attack?

FJDJSNSN YOU BET I WILL !!!

I actually do have a bit of a history with panic attacks, so I'm going to write these imagines kinda based on the sort of care ik I'd want to receive at least, so I hope these are like, realistic but not too angsty for anyone sksksk

But uh yeah, enjoy!

Oh and PSA that isn't mentioned in any of my imagines, but on this blog John has been getting the therapy he needs and deserves for a while now, so that's what's going on with all the references to stuff picked up from his "therapy/therapist" in this post and my others. Just wanted to clear that up✌🏻😌

George

Honestly, George is a very calm and trustworthy guy, so if you could, I think you'd do your best to seek him out while you know you're having a panic attack

And if you can't bc it's really bad, then you definitely would after it's over!

You slowly walk into the living room, your blanket wrapped around your shoulders

George turns to greet you, but his smile vanishes when he sees the red rims of your puffy eyes

You don't need to say a word, George is already up from his seat and coming over to protect you

The two of you communicate easily so George knows about your tendencies with panic attacks and by now he can spot when you've had one, just like he's doing now

"There now love, let's have a seat yeah?"

He guides you over to the couch and helps you sit

George rubs a little warmth into your arms, but decides another blanket would do better

Quickly he drapes the large, fluffy throw over you and promises to be right back

He disappears for a few moments while you situate yourself in the blankets

When he returns, he's brought a modest armful of your favorite snacks and a box of tissues, just in case

George sets everything down on the coffee table, except for a little tin of biscuits, which he takes with him as he joins you under the throw

He leans in and gives your cheek a kiss, "Kettle's on, we can have cocoa if you like"

You smile, and nod to let him know you heard

"Would you like to talk?"

"In a moment", you respond quietly

"Of course love"

George pulls you against his chest for a cuddle, then balances the tin between your laps

"Would you like one?"

You eye the variety to see if your favorite is left and then nod

By now you don't even have to request which one you want, George already knows

He picks it up and holds it out to you

Unfortunately, you're not quite feeling it yet, so you open your mouth wide instead

George picks up on the cue and holds the biscuit closer so you can take a bite, gently feeding it to you

The two of you take turns nibbling on snacks for a bit until the kettle comes to a boil

George goes off to fix hot chocolate for the two of you and returns with a pair of steaming mugs

When you're both settled, George gives you some space and let's you open up on what's troubling you

He hears you out and promises to do whatever he can to help you

And he's a man of his word, as you know

Afterwards, the two of you spend as long as you need relaxing on the couch, snacking and cuddling until you feel back up to speed

Of course, George wouldn't mind if you stayed here all day :)

John

I kinda feel like John would have like a sixth sense when it comes to anxiety tbh

Like when you're experiencing your panic attack, even if he's not there to necissarily see it happen, he just knows

You're in the middle of one now, when John peaks the door to your room open

"Everything alright love? You've been quite for some time-"

John finds you shaking and unresponsive, curled up in a blanket on the bed

As someone who struggles with anxiety himself, he knows exactly what's happening, so thankfully he doesn't panic like the other lads might

However, that doesn't mean it breaks his heart any less

John approaches calmly and sits besides you

You drag yourself up and apologize, a few tears streaming down your cheeks

But John just shushes you and holds you close

"We can talk when you're ready love"

You lean into him and do what you have to as you ride out the attack, while John holds you in a comfortingly tight embrace

When everything is over, John holds up on his promise and gives you the floor to talk about what's troubling you

He can be a great listener when he wants to, a trait he's exemplifying now as he holds you in his lap

Once you've said your peace, John would totally know how to validate your feelings and all that

"I'm so sorry love, I can't imagine how hard that must be for you. What can I do to help?"

For now, you feel best just being close to him

You lay down and John cuddles onto you a bit, just how you like, the warm weight of his body grounding you

He gives you some feather light kisses and keeps his voice calm and low

"This alright?"

You take a deep breath and nod, stroking his hair

It's times like this that John just feels flat useless

He knows what to say and some tricks to use from his therapy sessions for his own issues, but he wishes he could do more for you

Be charismatic and uplifting, like Paul would

Or warm and comforting like Ringo

Instead he's just a stoic lump

John looks up at you as a stray tear falls from your eye

He wishes so badly that he could take all your pain away

If he could, he'd bear the weight of the world, just to see you safe and happy

But for now, he hopes this old body of his is enough to help you feel warm, loved, and grounded

He shifts his weight a little so he can nuzzle your cheek

It's a bit too cold and damp for his sensitive nose, but he puts his personal discomfort aside

Well, there is one more trick he has up his sleeve that he hopes will help

John chooses one of your favorite songs of his and hums it to you quietly

The sound and vibrations combined with the warmth and pressure wraps you in a whole cocoon of John

You know that he wishes he was better with words, but honestly what he's doing now is what he usually does to steady you after an attack

And honestly?

It does far, far more for you then any sympathetic speech ever could

You give John's back a little rub and hold on tightly, hoping it can begin to express your gratitude

John smiles into your neck and hums just a bit louder, snuggling closer to you

Paul

I think Paul would be one who usually comes to find you after a panic attack

It's not that you don't feel comfortable with him, it's just... It feels rather embarassing to have breakdowns like that sometimes

Paul's always so confident and cool, you hate how your anxiety and panic attacks make you feel weak, especially compared to the likes of him

He finds you laid out on the couch, burritoed up in a blanket

He playfully asks what you're doing, but the look on your face is distant, as though your mind is a thousand miles away

Your eyes are rimmed red and you appear to have some shivers going on

Slowly, you turn your gaze to look at your boyfriend

Paul is frozen

He wants to help but he's not quite sure what's wrong. All he knows is he's desperately worried

"Paul..."

Your voice is hoarse and shallow as you call to him

Instantly, Paul snaps to action with no time to lose

He vaults the couch, careful not to land on you in the process and send beside you

"What is it? Tell me, tell me...", His voice is fairly calm, despite the begging in his tone

You get to the point, neither of you interested in beating around the bush, and tell him you just had a panic attack

You've told him about these before, but never at a point in time where he was able to care for you after you'd had it

Paul almost breathes a sigh of relief. Seeing you like this... He'd feared something much worse was wrong

Of course, this is still a very serious matter, but the catch is he's come prepared

Ever since you mentioned your history with anxiety and panic attacks, he's done some digging and research on what can be done to help

He's even consulted John on the matter!

There's plenty of things he can do, but Paul knows you respond best to his words

"Do you think you can sit up?"

You consider it a moment and then agree

Paul pulls you close to him, snuggling his face into the crook of your neck as he starts by speaking some words of encouragement and making sure you know how proud he is of you

The amount of affection he's laying on you takes you by surprise

You apologize for having him fuss over you, and your eyes start to water

Paul pulls back and looks at you as though he can't believe what he's heard, but his face softens when he sees you

"Oh no no no love, none of that now"

He wipes away your tears and asks if he's done something wrong

You shake your head, "No, I-I just wish I could be as put together as you, I guess"

At that one, Paul laughs

"I can't imagine why you'd want that. Matter of fact, I wish I was as strong and brave as you"

You look up at him questioningly, but Paul only nods

"it's true! I think you're incredible, living day to day like you do. You're a real fighter, you know that?"

He kisses your nose

"I don't want you to feel like you're not as 'brave' as I am because it's simply just not true!"

Paul smiles and brushes some hair from your face to reveal the little smile you've been hiding

Feeling a bit better at last, you open up your arms to invite Paul in for a cuddle

He readily accepts, and stays with you as long as you like

Ringo

I think the first time Ringo sees you after a panic attack, he'd be really worried about you!

You see, Ringo is just such an upbeat guy, no time ever really feels like a good time to tell him about your anxiety or panic attacks really

So when he witnesses it first hand, he's completely unprepared!

Ringo finds you laying face down on the bed, with your arms covering your head

He immediately freezes

His voice is dripping with fear as he cautiously calls your name

You barely stir, still riding out the end of a panic attack

Ringo is in a full panic now, and without another word he leaps onto the bed kneeling on all fours beside you

He wants so badly to touch you and make sure you're alright, but at the same time, he doesn't know what's wrong and he doesn't want to hurt you!

Instead, he places his palm on your back and gives you as gentle a shake as he can manage

"H-hey...?"

His voice is quivering and hardly more then a whisper

After a few moments it dawns on him that he can feel you shaking under his touch

Ringo sits up on his knees and whips around to find something to keep you warm

He stretches across the bed and yanks over a thin throw

By the time he's turned back to you, you've rolled over onto your back

You wipe your eyes and try to put on a brave face

"It's alright Ritchie, I'm fine..."

Ringo looks white as a sheet, his face stricken with worry

"No you're not!", he insists

He drapes the blanket over you, but decides that it isn't nearly warm enough and, like a giant cat, lays himself across your chest as well

"There now, are you warm enough? What can I do to make you better?"

You let your head fall back and close your eyes

Honestly you do feel a bit bad for him, but you simply don't have the energy to console him right now

Ringo gets off you for a moment and slides a pillow under your head before resuming his position

"How's that?"

You sigh, "Fine thank you. I'm just... getting over a panic attack love"

"Ooooh, I understand"

You lift your head up at that, and give him a confused look

"Yeah, John's had 'em back stage a couple times before a show now and then. He tells us about 'em sometimes and what to do and all"

Somehow you find that that does make sense, and so you lay back down, glad you don't have to explain yourself

"I-Is there anything you'd like me to do for you? John likes us to bring him some water usually... Would you like that?"

Ringo snuggles a little closer, looking down at you with big, puppy dog eyes

You smile a little. You're not use to receiving so much support after an attack like this

"Maybe later, right now I just need you. I-If that's alright..."

Ringo smiles and kisses your cheek before laying his head on the pillow beside you

"Yeah, I can do that..."

You hold onto him tight, grounding yourself and allowing the comfort to wash over you

Ringo stays with you until you've stopped shaking, runs off to put on the kettle, and then hurries back beside you to stay as long as you'll have him

[scandeniall]

mirrors for friends //ch.5

| prev | next | masterlist

wc: 1741

pairing: TBD x reader

notes *this is the version of the song they cover 

chapter 5: We drive, We Film

The music is blaring when Atsumu pulls up. He's bobbing his head along to the guitar, hardly sparing you a glance as you slide into the passenger seat. Despite that, you offer a quick greeting as the car speeds off before you even finish putting your seatbelt on. You nod along to the familiar song as the two of you shoot through the street, 

“And I don't care if you're sick, I don't care if you're contagious,” you begin Atsumu chiming in matching your pitch.  

“I would kiss you even if you were dead” “Would somebody make me go blind for the rest of my life, cause I’d do anything to hold your hand.” 

You find your hand hanging out the window as you two sing along to the rest of the song. Once it ends, Atsumu lowers the volume, enough to have a conversation. “I see ya changed from a sweaty slob and are now looking better.” You roll your eyes at the bassist, and had he not been driving you probably would’ve resorted to slapping the back of his head. “Why do I willingly hang out with you. And, where are we going anyways?” You question, remembering your promise to Iwaizumi

 You ignore his comment about you clearly not having any other friends as you send a message to Iwaizumi confirming your location. You let out a little laugh at Iwaizumi’s complaint about the blonde always running his plans, before locking your phone. “Who ya texting?” Atsumu takes his first real look at you for the night as he slows at the red light. “Iwa, just telling him if I die tonight it's all your fault.Your driving fucking sucks” You follow up the sentence flicking off your friend who looks unbothered. 

“Speaking of our dear Iwa, you know something that me and Kuroo don't.” Your eyes widen just the tiniest bit as he grants you a knowing smirk. “But I’ll let that go for now. How's the tattoo healing?” Just like that Atsumu’s voice shifts into a more serious tone and you groan loudly. You instantly catch on to the real meaning of the question. How are you doing?  “Not you too”. 

“C’mon, I’m just checking on ya (Y/N). Making sure you’re ok. Took me a minute but then I remembered you showed me the picture a few months ago.” His gaze focuses back on the road giving you at least the relief from his stare down. “First Iwa, now you. And I know Kuroo is gonna pick my brain the second he gets the chance,” your words come out in a huff of annoyance. “What can we say, we care about ya. The band would flop without our front man.” His tease is enough to lighten the tension that began to grow as you rolled your eyes again. “Our combined hotness would drop by like 90% without me.” 

“More like 5%” He could only laugh as you promptly told him to go to hell, as you turned the music back up some. The rest of the drive was void of any conversation. The only noises coming from the radio and any time either of you would sing along to what was playing out. Atsumu would only shoot you annoyed looks, whenever you’d skip one of the songs he had to which you'd just shrug without a care.  

“Hey Samu.” You and Atsumu spoke at the same time as you slid into the booth. “What are you two sharing a single brain cell now?” Your look of disgust is enough to cause the gray haired twin to laugh. “The only thing I’d ever share with Atsumu is my foot up his ass.” 

“That’s a real cute way of saying you’re the dumb one of us.” The blonde catches the wrist of your arm that aims a punch at his shoulder easily. “Take you and your shitty dye job over there next to your brother,” you mutter pushing your bandmate out of the booth next to you. He obliges, moving so that him and Osamu are both sitting across from you. 

“Now Tsumu’s stupidity is gonna seep into my head.”

 ---- 

“Hello boys, and piss head,” you greet cheerily as you enter the unlocked door of Iwaizumi’s place. You shift the drink carrier in your hand as you remove your bag, lightly placing it on the floor. The owner only raises his eyebrows at you while your guitarist just laughs.”What’d he do now,” You make your rounds handing off the coffee drinks you’d bought for your bandmates. You stop by Iwaizumi first who accepts it with a grateful smile. Next is Kuroo, who raises the cup in thanks. “Every time I hang out with him, I wonder why I do. He sucks,” you speak before handing Atsumu his drink. “Osamu really is the better twin, not by much though.” 

“You claim to hate me, yet you bring me food. Thanks mom,” the bassist mocks. You mutter something about it being the only thing that gets him to shut up before shifting your attention towards Kuroo. “Hey, can you go get our instruments, couldn’t hold them cause of the drinks.” He only nods, you asking him to please lock your door after. 

“We’re filming that song today right?” You nod at Atsumu’s question. While he goes back to typing away on his phone you settle onto the couch next to Iwaizumi. He looks at you and you raise your eyebrows in excitement. He shoots you a small smile and a thumbs up, and you struggle to contain your excitement. You shoot him a knowing look that the two of you have to talk later as Kuroo enters carrying both your guitar cases. “Bring my drink down would you,” is the only thing he says before making his way towards the basement. The three of you wordlessly follow.  

“Why are we doing this song again,”

“Come on old man, it’ll be fun, plus our dear (Y/N) gets to show off that growl today. Doesn't happen very much,” Kuroo smirks at Iwaizumi, shooting you a quick look from where you are tuning your guitar. “Plus, the viewers wanted us to do Gaga.” 

“Oh, you're just happy ya get to be heard more with this song,” Atsumu chimes in before fiddling with his bass. “Maybe,” is Kuroos response as he sits on a stool to tune his own instrument. “Besides, Judas is a pretty badass song. And our arrangement is pretty sick.” Iwaizumi can’t help but agree with you, opting to get the video equipment set up. After he finished you all ran through the song a few times before you were ready to go.  

“Hey guys, we’re Mirrors For Friends,” the four of you said in unison. Before introducing yourselves as individuals. “So, you guys asked, and we answered. You all wanted us to do Lady Gaga so bad,” Kuroo started before pausing for his self-proclaimed dramatic effect. “So, Judas here we are.”

 ----

 “Judas- Gaga” You practically screamed out the last words of the songs, before bursting out into laughter. The entirety of the song both Kuroo and Atsumu were making ridiculous facial expressions at one another, and with you being in the middle of the two, you saw it all. That, paired with post singing adrenaline and the fact that you all were even singing it in the first place seemed absolutely comical You had been so caught in laughter that you didn’t even notice Iwaizumi come up from behind his drums to nudge at camera perched on the tripod in front of you. 

“Fuck- do you guys see what I have to go through with these guys. Iwa is the only normal one,” you joked out after your laughter died down. You ignored the said members exclamations about not being that bad. “Alright that's it for us today, we hope you enjoyed, and we’ll see you when we see you.” You stuck up a peace sign heading towards the camera and picking it up. “Say bye you idiots.  

You first pointed the camera at Kuroo who was the closest to you. “I feel like (Y/N) is catching my double chin at this angle. Stream our songs and we love you.” With that Kuroo just walked off the frame, and you turned towards Atsumu. “Say bye to the video fake blondie.” 

“I just want to say that I’m the hottest member of the band and-hey” Atsumu exclaimed as you just cut his segment short, before walking to Iwaizumi.  

“You know the drill Iwa. Your turn” This time you moved the camera up and down as if you were giving the audience a chance to check him out. “Now this is the real hottest member of this band,” you teased before aimling back towards his face. You stifled your laugh at Atsumu and Kuroo in the background yelling for him to take his shirt off. “I hate this band. See you all in the next video.” With your drummers closing you stopped the recording before letting out a sigh of relief.  

“Well that was exhausting,” you automatically made your way to the couch where you had your laptop resting. “I can probably get this edited and uploaded by tomorrow guys.” You felt the couch dip next to you and the voice of the band’s guitarist. “I can do it. I know it's been an interesting week for you,” he gestures towards your ribcage, where your new tattoo rests under your tshirt. The tone of his voice lets you know there’s no point in countering. When Iwaizumi gets into his band labeled ‘dad’ mode, you won't win. “You're acting as if I have a choice,” you huff handing him the camera’s memory card.  

“Shit- guys, I gotta go. I forgot the team got a last-minute practice match with another school,” Atsumu’s panicked voice cut through the room. “Were done here right?” He looked between the three of you sighing in relief as he quickly started putting up his instrument. “Hey, don’t forget next week we’re at Bauhaus.” He only nodded mindlessly, before making his way to the stairs, before stopping halfway. “That's the 3rd, right?” 

Kuroo’s thumbs out caused him to practically run up the stairs and out the door. Once the bassist leaves, he plopped himself next to you on the other side of the couch. “So lovely band members of mine, what secret are you two keeping from me and Tsumu.”

⤿taglist: @o51oc​ @suna-allie​

a/n: yall know that one tiktok audio from what bgc? wheres like awkwardly quiet then its like “hey guys”--- thats how I feel after coming back to this fic after a month. But yeah life and then more LIFE. So with that, sorry this chapter is kinda awkward writing bc i literally havent written for this in that month at all. Anyways, now that we’ve gotten our band dynamics established we are kicking off the real plot starting next chapter. I still don’t know which boy to do so pls help a loser out. I think I’m gonna take out the possibility of Iwa though ????

[kitt-rider]

my emotional journey of the episode ‘knightmares’. i have A Lot To Say

so kitt and michael’s first interaction after michael loses his memory is this

kitt: michael? michael please, stop! it's me! kitt! *chase ensues, kitt leaps over something to get to michael* michael: *shoots at kitt in panic* alright out! hands away from your body! kitt: this is not quite the reunion i'd hoped for michael... michael: i said; get out of the car! kitt, sounding hurt: michael, have you really forgotten me? michael: has small flashbacks to kitt jumping kitt: are you alright? michael: no! no, i'm confused! nothing makes sense to me any more, this face, is not my face! my whole world has disappeared and now i'm talking to a car kitt: i think i can explain everything, michael michael: how do you know my name? kitt: we're partners you and i, we're a team. please, let me help you. get in michael: no thanks kitt: as you pointed out, i'm only a car. please. trust me 

and it. it’s a lot. there’s so much emotion in kitt’s voice here, like. something i’ve noticed is that they’ve grown so close that if they’re apart for too long, or don’t know what the other is doing or where they are or how they are, they freak out. if the watch breaks, or loses connection, they get really thrown off kilter, both of them. they’re so entwined that they feel lost without the other, as though they’ve become two halves of a whole. 

kitt sounds really hurt when he realises michael has forgotten him. this is the most human we’ve seen kitt so far, not that he hasn’t been before, but the emotional range in his vocals are just. they’re so raw and it’s so clear to anyone, even if this were to be the only episode they watched, that the two of them have something really special, that the two of them love each other. but then michael has little flashes of kitt jumping. it starts to come back to him. this is a big deal because it’s the first instance of him remembering something. kitt is so deeply embedded in him that his brain automatically responds quicker and easier to kitt, and kitt is a stronger trigger than anything else has been so far. 

kitt speaks very softly, coaxing michael with gentle words of love. the “trust me” absolutely killed me, idk why. maybe because michael DID end up trusting kitt and getting in, or maybe because it was just the gentleness of kitt’s words. i just. hnnnng.

so then michael gets in, freaks out, they go to the foundation, devon and april try to talk to him, they can’t, so he leaves. kitt follows. and the next interaction is this

*kitt is following michael who wants him to go, eventually they stop and michael opens the door* michael: i'd tell you to get this through your head but you're a machine, so run this through your data processor. get lost! kitt: i can't do that michael. i'm programmed to respond to your needs. despite your being unaware of it, you need me! michael: what if i don't want you? kitt: ...i suppose i'll be quite hurt  michael: ...alright. it is pretty hard to get around without a set of wheels. alright. i drive from here on kitt: absolutely. providing you'll promise me one thing michael: what? kitt: please do not refer to me as a car, or a set of wheels. it's most demeaning. i'm the knight industries two thousand. *wistfully* you always called me kitt...

OOF!!! mega oof! kitt can't stand michael calling him a machine because it's not right, his michael always treats him as a person, always calls him kitt, always refers to him as if he were a human bc kitt does have a soul, and he has personality like one. he's not used to michael being so standoffish and mean (although it's not really michael's fault since he's probably freaking out, and also it's like he's reverted to when he first met kitt when he didn't understand that kitt isn't just a machine) so he's. hurt. and his voice is all soft and wistful. it hurts for michael to refer to him as “machine” or even a “car”, because for so long michael has called him buddy, pal, or kitt, as kitt himself said. and it’s important to kitt that that continues, because he loves michael very much, and the thought that their relationship might not be as close as it once was is something he can’t bear. 

and then they drive and all that, we get michael literally calling kitt hot, and kitt smugly replying that he knows. and then on the way, more conversation and. 

michael: you know it's a terrible feeling, every time i pass a mirror or i see a reflection in the window... i see a stranger's face kitt: i wish i could help you regain your memory. especially your memory of ME. ...we have quite a history together

GOD. it's so much. it's all so much!!!!! kitt is desperate for michael to remember him, not just cause he's programmed for michael's sake, but bc he wants michael to remember him specifically, as he says. kitt is going all ways out of professional this episode, and his voice is just. especially when he says the history part, it's so, so soft and full of love and yearning. i can't get over them, honestly. the episodes where kitt is reprogrammed or removed from the car and where michael loses his memory are quickly becoming my favourites, mostly bc there's so much affection and love between them in it. like. their bond is so strong, and these episodes like to prove that that bond breaks through everything.

kitt wouldn’t say he wanted michael to specifically remember him over everything else if it were simply his programming/in a professional sense, which means he wants michael to remember him for HIM. because having a human he’s imprinted on so much feel indifferent to him is just awful, and insulting to the hell and high water they went through.

gahhhh and then! they get to the dam and michael gets in trouble, and goes “kitt! i need you!” and kitt excitedly goes “it’s about time!” AND I!!!! aside from the fact that “i need you” as a general phrase is A Lot to me, because i associate it with “i love you” and in fact, sometimes i need you is even more of a romantic gesture to say than i love you, it’s just so sweet how excited kitt is that things are falling back into place, that his michael is his michael again, and they’ll be a team once more.

then they head off, and kitt shows off his analyser and michael. “you.. .are a regular wonder on wheels, aren’t you?” and kitt “i like to think so”

AND THEN. AND THEN?!

michael: kitt? you said you knew me before the accident. what was michael knight like? kitt, softly and full of love: michael knight was bright, agile, often quite logical. he was also stubborn, impatient, readily distracted by pretty girls. and he listened to possibly the most appalling music to ever shatter my airwaves michael: sounds like my kinda guy kitt: yes that’s what i’m afraid of

and this interaction is so... affectionate? so loving. even though michael is still trying to remember, he smiles automatically, even jokes around a little. kitt analyses the material and then michael says he’s impressed. and then i get a damn BOMB dropped on me.

michael: kane’s? i’m impressed! i mean how does a chemical analyser identify a store? kitt: it didn’t! there’s a card inside michael, smiling: good work kitt kitt: oh one other thing about michael knight michael: what’s that? kitt: i was extremely fond of him

like. i have no words. it’s all right there. i can’t really say any more than what kitt did. and he says it as though it’s a fact. he says it as a way to describe michael, bc now, kitt is a part of michael, and everything that embodies him. kitt loves michael, and it’s a fact. it’s an identifier of who michael knight is. michael knight is someone kitt loves very much.

michael tries to get into a building that’s locked. kitt unlocks it

michael: should i say thanks? kitt: if you do i’ll say ‘you’re welcome’ michael: thanks! kitt; de nada (no problem, no need for thanks, you’re welcome)

god! can they BE any cuter? their interactions are so precious. 

once again we get an “i need you” from michael. i love that. it looks like from now on, that will be a regular thing, bc michael’s only just started saying it a couple of eps ago. something else i love is that the two of them fit back together quickly and easily. they’re already acting as a unit/as they did before not long after they’ve started working together again. they also bicker again, and it falls naturally into place.

michael: i got a hunch that door is not gonna stand in our way kitt: michael this is beginning to sound like old times! 

and then

that’s michael’s expression in response. a warm, wide smile. things are coming together again. he’s starting to remember kitt.

AND THEN

kitt: michael i pride myself on never pointing out the obvious, but i’m afraid we’re driving into a trap michael: i’m not worried kitt, i have an edge. a secret weapon kitt: really? what is it? michael: you

and then kitt blushes!!! for sure! there’s no other way to see it! he’s blushing not only from being a little flustered that michael’s praising him like he did before, but also because even a little while of michael not being affectionate and loving towards him was awful and he’s so happy that michael is becoming more and more like his old self again that his “cheeks” glow with happiness. ugghgngn!!! god. so much! they are so much, and so in love.

so the girl is saved and everything is well. he regains his memory, and we end on michael and kitt being all domestic and married-coupley.

kitt: welcome back michael. i thought as a little present i’d play you some of that appalling music you like so much michael: thanks buddy. come on. let’s shatter some airwaves! *music plays* michael: you know i was thinking. i could have april install an electronic board here and she could hook it up to your speakers kitt: michael? michael: yeah? kitt: don’t press your luck michael: whatever you say pal, whatever you say

AND!! THAT IS JUST SO. coupley! hhhhhhh. and ofc, michael will take kitt on vacation. i was wondering for a moment if he wouldn’t, but that was dumb. of course michael will take kitt with him! he can’t stand to be apart from him! they both can’t stand it!

god. i kind of want to write a little ficlet of the vacay, and i probably will, because i am SO full of fluff. golly. what an episode! michael and kitt are in love and as the show goes on that just becomes more and more apparent <3

[youngwingskz]

Hello, can I request a Stray Kids reaction where the members learn that their s/o is American and an '02 liner?🙂

𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬/𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐧 & 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 ♡

hi!! this is my first request ever, i hope i don’t disappoint. i know you requested for specifics but i thought i’d broaden it a little bit - im so sorry and i hope that’s okay (ب_ب ) i also just so happen to be an 02’ liner myself and was born on the exact same day as park jisung of nct & kang taehyun of txt, but i’m British rather than American. Without further ado I hope you all enjoy!! - admin bliss ✨

𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧

- was beyond surprised to find out you were younger than the maknae of skz bc you were just so wise & beyond your years

- in all honesty he doesn’t mind bc he adores you regardless of your age or the fact that you’re from abroad bc he knows exactly what that’s likeeeeee being from Australia and all

- if anything he will tease you about being a couple years older; only bc it’s cute seeing you be so stubborn

- “now, now y/n. I think you forget I’m still - what was it? 1, 2, 3 years older than you!” A sly smirk sitting on his face as he counts off your age gap on his fingers

𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐣𝐢𝐧

- “what?” he asks again as if he’s misheard you so you repeat your age in English for him one more time

- once again “what?” but there’s still that really pretty smile sat on his face

- he’s so shocked bc you really do not look that young to him; he’s not worried about the age difference at all tbh 

- it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still the one he fell in love with

𝐒𝐞𝐨 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐢𝐧

- is in shock when he finds out you’re not Korean but not in a bad way 

- okay maybe a tad in a bad way but only because Felix has you hauled up in a corner of the practice room as you both converse in English and all Binnie wants is your attention 

- so your brave little binnie decides he will muster up all his English speaking skills and join as third party of the conversation; only to hear that you and Felix are the same age 

- he kinda just stands there and stares at you as Felix jumps to hug him bc how could he not know all this vital information about his jagiyaaaaa so you reassure him that all those things are minor and you both continue your relationship as it was before

𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐡𝐨

- he now understands why you get along with him so well as minho literally has the mentality of a pre-teen

- not to mention when you bring up that you’re from abroad he will start to say everything he knows in English consisting of “Hi! You know! I know! Lee Know!”

- in which you just kiss him to get him to stop (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ )

- A lot of “look jagi! Am I as cute as you now?” as he does aegyo and literally only bc you are a few years younger than him smh but minho is the real baby of the relationship

𝐇𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧

- “babyyyyy, do I look as young as you yet?” he asks, teasingly as he attempts to re-create a selfie you posted on your instagram

- you just shove him away and he giggles thinking he got really lucky to be with someone like you despite your age difference

- “you’re such an idiot,” you continue to grumble in fluent English as you often did so

- Hyunjin pecks your cheek, “yes, but i’m your idiot.” he responds back in the English he learned from attending kindergarten in Las Vegas

𝐇𝐚𝐧 𝐉𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠

- han genuinely thinks you’re joking when you say your age “yhhhh sure babe,”

- “wait? what really?” when he realises you’re being fr and for a second he’s silent so you get scared that it’ll change things between you two but you also decide to drop that you’re not even really from Korea either 

- you grow kinda sad and turn your back to walk away when he still doesn’t respond

- “heyyyy! where are you going? im so sorry - i was just processing things. yep, processed. i love you, pls dont leave me.” and so you don’t (˘ ³˘)♡

𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐱

- dis boi is completely unfazed by both your age gap and that you’re from abroad

- it just doesn’t even occur to him bc felix is just soooooo in love with you 

- you two just get one another so well; it all just fits and that’s all he cares about tbh: if you’re happy, he’s happyyyyyyyy

- he even jokes about how the two of you are as he puts it “foreign goods” since he’s also from abroad 

𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐒𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐦𝐢𝐧

- he doesn’t care that you’re younger than himmmmmm

- however he permanently feels obliged to take care of you bc you’re his babyyyyy 

- but really you feel as if it’s the other way round 

- is always asking if you’re okay in English bc he loves to hear your accent when you two converse and obviously because he just wants to know if you’re alright

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧

- all you ever hear is: “hehehe my baby is an actual babyyyyy”

- mind you you’re not even a year younger than innieeee - not even a year!!

- every time you call him oppaaaaaa he gets so shy and flustered and his heart just goes uwu

- he loves you even more when he finds out you grew up outside of Korea and will constantly bombard you with questions about what it’s like outside of the country and then him promising that one day you’ll both go back to your hometown together (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡

[dulharpa]

this is for hayley! @whistlingwillows a dear friend <3333

it’s meant to be a birthday present haha. i just want to shower you in love;;; so thought maybe i could go through as many of your fics and comment on them :^)))

(TO EVERYONE ELSE: please go to @whistlingwillows blog and read her fics!!! they are SO FCKIN GOOD AND AMAZING AND UGH HER MIND (it’s a lot of mcu and her bucky and steve fics are a*. i DEFINITELY RECOMMEND))

i wish you a VERY happy birthday and i hope we stay friends for many more years <3333333333 

i’m going through your masterlist heehee ;)))

ah first off, nice theme! i never could rlly see it before because i’m always on mobile heehee. also sorry for not reviewing them before??? i don’t usually read fics on tumblr as you’ve probably guessed;;

anyways, IM GON REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THESE >:DDDD

far from home -  bucky x stark sister!reader

firstly, i like how youre introducing the reader from buckys pov, like you can sort of already gather what shes like from them

‘Bucky can hear Tony’s soft inhale, feel the intensity of the man’s glare directed at Steve. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but a twitch of muscle would be enough to alert both men that he’s here. With the amount of tension crackling in the air, a brush against the wall would be equivalent to a thousand cymbals crashing in cacophony.’

IM CRYING ALREADY. the imagery in here is GLORIOUS. your tone here is so fitting! oo and the alliteration here is perfecto

ooooooo!! the backstory coming in  👀👀

‘despite what some people think that Steve and Captain America are two different personas, there will always be parts of Steve in the Avenger, and parts of the Avenger in Steve. They both want to believe in something good. They are, after all, one in the same.// Just as how Bucky and the Winter Soldier are the same man despite everything. HYDRA simply amplified the hate, fertilized the seeds of rage, curated the quiet thunder within his soul, within James Buchanan Barnes so that the Winter Soldier could thrive.’

yIKES! lol this is very character study like! nICE. it hurts tho, my poor children, i love you both 

oo ‘starlight eyes’ that is a very nice way of describing them

‘“Then what was London?” The protesters. “São Paulo?” The earthquake. “Vancouver?” Freezing cold water.//“Look, I care if Stark’s gonna run us over trying to find her. I care enough because she’s part of our team. Come off it, Steve. I know she can take care of herself. I’m gonna take a nap. Dr. Cho said no partying post-Singapore and what do you know, we throw the biggest party ever.’

ooo singapore uwu and london? (coincidence? haha jkjk) and the hints abt reader and buckys background are so good?? but so annoying??? like i just wanna KNOW yknow?? 

‘The water runs copper and the sting bites at his palm as he tries not to think. Tries to focus on the numbing cold that runs over his skin.’ 

your imagery is so vivid?? im actually in awe??? i am so regretful i havent kept reading your fics. like i know they are amazing, i just keep putting them off??? idk man. hopefully this makes up for it (gd tho, im still not done with commenting on one fic. this is what im doing with my motivation teehee ;)

‘ He feels weak. Tired. He wants to go back to bed but he also wants to stay out in the sun for a few hours more. The sun kisses his skin through the windows and he squints against the blue sky, wondering ‘

mood during this quarantine lol

‘“Oh, right.” Your voice is flat, uninterested, cold, as you stare at him. “You killed my parents.”Shit.‘

 OUCH LMAO THATS C O L D, O GOT +100 PHYSIC DAMAGE FROM JUST READING THAT

ooo robin as a nickname noice. very much gives me batman vibes lol

oh! and the way of doing the ‘flashback’ is neat! very original. it both tells us what happened AND buckys reaction to it again. he can re-analyse himself and reader. very cool

‘If you walk away now, don’t bother coming back!” Silence. Bucky can hear his own strained breathing, your soft sigh as you soaked in his ultimatum.’

👀👀 yikes that ultimatum. :// not good bucky. tbf theyre both trying to hurt each other but Yikes

eyy!!! readers pov!! finally! and the switch after we find out the outsiders pov? brilliant

oh no :(( more angst

‘When’s the last time you saw your therapist?”“Don’t have one. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”’ they BOTH need therapists;;;;

very good fic!!! :DD they rlly do hate each other! i definitely like how you went back and forth with the timeline! it gave me a v strong idea on what yn was like even before we rlly got introduced. i am now very curious on where reader is? i love your characterisations! 

i will read the 10k+ fics but heck the last one took me ages lolol (i will comment in the future tho!! i promise <3 ) (that took me over an hour jjhghgdjh)

slipping away- amnesiac modern bucky x reader

omg,,, AMNESIA! >:DDDDDD

‘ Put your fucking seatbelt on’

oh no, istg theyre going to have a car crash arent they (’ doesn’t put the seatbelt on to spite you.’ NO PLEASE PUT IT ON U DUMBASS)

ok,,,,, at LEAST he put it on before he got hit, thank heck. but still. youre so cruel to your poor characters lmaoo

oh gosh

‘You fall apart slowly, like pieces of you peeling away until you’re nothing more than your broken heart. The sobs that wrack your body are relentless and you shove your forearm into your mouth to muffle your cries. You want to bite into your skin. You want to distract yourself from the agony tearing you to shreds. You want to feel anything but the pain.///Tears sweep into your hair, cloud your vision and your whole face floods with heat as you try to breathe through the pain. You’re cleaved into pieces on that bed, eyes squeezed shut as the tears keep flowing, and your throat burns’

this hurts damn, it is so vivid?? i can really feel it 

i am so glad you got into writing yk?? so glad

NO PLS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM :((( ‘shes nice once you get to know her?? shes known nat for years now!! years!!

oh god ‘he looks younger without the burden of your time together’ this is so angsty omg

‘Well, he was stumbling through his apology and I just let him finish.” Your body fills with warmth as you remember his embarrassed smile, the way he shoved his baseball cap farther down his head, chin tucked to his chest, trying to hide that face. “When he was done, I opened my mouth to say something polite but what came out was ‘You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss’.”

this is so soft i stg im crying in the club

OH SHITTTTTTTTTTT , you left it off like that!!! thats so cruel!!!! i can’t!!! how dare you!!!! :””””””((( im typing this with tears in my eyes ill have u know!!

anyway!!! very good fic!! you could honestly make that into a longfic very easily lol. i felt too many emotions :(( 

i was just about to say where is the fluff!! where is it!! when i saw the next one and yay :))) pls i cant have more angsty stuff rn

.

cookies and rings and things bucky and reader

‘how much do you love me?’ ‘count the snowflakes, multiply by a million’

did you have to start the fic off with such a SOFT line? its so soft! so TENDER 

‘He wonders what kinda insane person wears socks without any clothes on, but then decides that it’s the kind of person who’s fallen in love with him.’  jesus, the soft moments filled with love are the greatest <3

you can write fluff so well, whyd you have to pain me with all that angst ;””””) (1/10 hurt, 9/10 comfort is the way to go lolol) (jkjk ill read the angsty ones too when i have the spoons) (gonna reread that hydra steve one and ik thatll fuck me UP)

‘ Then, he can feel the cold metal of the ring she slid onto her own finger less than twenty-four hours ago and realizes that he had thought a lot of things shouldn’t be possible, and yet they still are. ‘

you literally brought me to tears reading this softness, you have truly found my weakness

‘ She’s so damn gorgeous with flour on her face and eye bags beneath her eyes that he’s sure she will inevitably make his heart burst ‘

he already likes her so much! i can’t believe this is affecting me so much :’)

‘Bucky is quite sure Sam is in love with his girlfriend in the fact that he’s in love with the fact that his girlfriend is possibly in love with Bucky’

this is so soft??? sam loves reader bc reader loves bucky sm. pls my hear <3333

you do fluff SO WELL DAMN 

‘F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes in his small little perch and he still thinks it’s weird without having the side effect of Stark in his suit chasing after him to hear the A.I. but he shoves that uncomfortable feeling of the dead man out of his head. That is too much regret to unpack right now on a mission. ‘

yike bringing back that reminder oof

but thats so soft??? (i am def overusing soft but,,,,, i love it and the vibe) she sent him cookies! god i can feel the love  

‘She expresses her feelings through cooking, which Bucky has learnt the hard way. One time, they got into an argument over something stupid—he can’t even remember what started it—and came to the kitchen at 2AM to see her sitting at the kitchen island crying her eyes out and surrounded by baskets of muffins.’

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 my hEART

you show how much they love each other in so many ways??? i am dying

“Alright, I like it.” Rolling his eyes, he pecks her forehead and she smiles victoriously. It’s so adorable that Bucky, with less than three hours of sleep, adds, “God, I want to marry you.//”“What?”//Oh.Shit.

oh my god! i am literally tearing up!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!

oh shit o am literally crying

your fluff got me crying harder than your angst i hope youre happy

I really hope you enjoy reading this?? i keep forgetting to like text you but i wanted to do something for your birthday. especially in quarantine when everythings gone crazy. one year i swear ill do something REALLY good for you. not making promises bc i hate if i dont. but ill like, learn how to podfic because you D E S E R V E  I T 

ive spent like three hours doing this lolol 

thank you so much for everything hayley!

[cryptidlossdotjpg]

do all of the ones you haven't yet for the lovesick meme!

oh shit alright uh

2: How long has your crush lasted?

yes

3: 5 songs that you have associated with your crush?

i’m just gonna do 3 bc i don’t have many songs i associate w/ my bfs

michael:

let’s face it, i’m cute - 11 acorn lane

beautiful - mystery skulls

it’s all good - cavetown

jd:

dirty laundry - bitter:sweet

when i grow up - mayday parade

hot mess - cobra starship

4: Do you think they've ever liked you back?

i mean i hope so

6: Whats holding you back from making a move?

nothing really

7: Are you frightened by your feelings for them?

nope

8: Do you think they could ever love you?

i mean i hope they do love me

9: Do you love them?

ya

10: Have you ever had a crush on someone you really shouldn't?

i don’t think so?

11: Do you think anyone currently has a crush on you?

god i hope not, but maybe

12: Ever had a crush on what you thought was a platonic friend?

jd

13: What would you do if your crush revealed they felt the same?

idk man

14: Has your crush ever hurt you?

no

16: Why do you like them?

michael’s unbelievably sweet and kind and is always a fun person to talk to. he cares about everyone and tries his best at everything and there’s something about him that’s unmistakably charming

jd’s a cool guy who i’ve been friends with for only a month i think but it feels like longer. i feel like i can trust him with anything and i feel rlly safe around him? he’s serious when he needs to be

17: Do you think you'll ever get over them?

whomst

18: Do you have 1 specific song that is strongly associated with a certain memory or interaction with them?

not really

19: The moment you knew you had feelings for them?

it was the morning after for michael. it was the way he slept so peacefully and calmly and the way sun dawned on him and he looked like someone truly radiant and ethereal

for jd, it was one of those days where we went to go get slushies and it was a day like any other but like...idk i guess i saw how happy he looked just filling up his cup and i realized hey, maybe dating this guy won’t be so bad

20: What would they have to do for you to stop liking them?

impossible, next question

21: Have you ever fallen asleep with them?

yea

22: Held their hand?

yea

23: Kissed their cheek?

yea

24: Kissed them on the lips?

yea

26: Had sex with them?

wouldn’t u like to know

27: Where on your body have they touched you?

;)

28: Does their touch set your skin on fire?

sometimes

29: Do you get butterflies when they touch you?

sure

30: Do they make you smile like no one else can?

oh absolutely

31: Does their presence calm you?

yea

32: Does it make you go crazy being around them and not 'being with' them?

no?

33: Are you friends with your crush?

yes. if ur not friends w/ the person ur in a relationship w/ then who tf are u

34: Have you always been friends?

w/ jd yeah

36: Best phone call with them?

michael: it was probably a little later but earlier than 12 am. we were just talking about shit for like hours and talking about our future and we lingered on the topic of our wedding a lot and he fell asleep on call but i figured if i hung up i’d wake him up so i just. didn’t hang up and ended up passing out listening to him

jd: it was like...4 am or smth and his dad was being himself so we just talked about nothing but i felt captivated the entire time? i was literally just listening him to talk about shit all but it’s 1 of my fondest memories bc he sounded really calm

37: Last time you hung out with them?

with michael it was like....a couple minutes ago and for jd it was a week ago i think

38: Ever been drunk together?

yes for jase, no for mich

39: Fondest memory of them?

does every memory of them count

40: Ever made a mistake with them?

haha. yeah.

41: Regretted not making a move?

kinda. i wish i had gotten into a relationship w/ them earlier lmao

42: If you could go back in time to that moment, what would you do?

confess. 

be more of a friend.

43: Do you think that would change your current relationship with them?

maybe.

44: If you could get a 100% honest answer from them, what 3 questions would you ask?

1) are you really serious about having a future w/ me?2) what things in specific do you hate about me?3) when did you realize you had feelings for me?

1) why did you do the things you did?2) do you ever regret being friends with me?3) do you wish you could take it back?

46: Have they ever tried to make a move?

maybe? idk

47: If so why did you miss it?

idk

48: Have they ever been infatuated with a friend of yours?

haha yea

49: Are they single?

no

60: What are you most attracted to about them?

michael: how kind he is. how strong he is despite everything and how brave he is for enduring the things he’s endured. his eyes

jd: his loyalty, the way he feels safe and comforting and how he seems to know what to say before you even tell him

61: Can you see a future with them?

absolutely

62: Have you sabotaged things between you two?

haha. yeah.

63: Why? What were you afraid of achieving? Love? Happiness? Content? Disappointment?

yes

64: Could they make you happy?

yeah, and they already have

66: What's something that only you two do?

i can’t think of any off the top of my head lmao

67: Does liking them make you feel vulnerable?

haha. yeah.

68: Have they ever given you anything?

yes

69: Have they ever used you?

no

70: Have they abused and manipulated you due to your feelings for them?

no

71: Have you ever spent quite literally all day and night thinking about them?

haha. yeah.

72: Have you ever accidentally nearly walked into moving traffic cause you were thinking about them?

hahahahaha

yeah.

73: Ever worn anything knowing it would draw their attention to you?

kinda? but not in a sexual way more like ‘this is my meme shirt i bought for 10 dollars off of amazon’

74: Have they ever made you feel so safe and content everything else slips away?

yep

76: Truthfully do you think you belong together right now?

yes.

77: Have they ever seen you completely vulnerable?

yea

78: Do you trust them?

absolutely

79: When you see them what feelings are strongest?

love. happiness. affection. vulnerability. 

80: Are they in love or interested in someone else?

michael is i think, idk about jd

81: If they asked you to kiss them, would you?

oh ABSOLUTELY

82: Will they be in your life a year from now?

i hope so

83: A moment where you so nearly gave into your feelings for them and did something about it?

idk man

84: Do they know you have feelings for them?

i hope so

86: Your ideal date with them?

just being around them. we don’t have to go somewhere to have a good time. as long as i’m with them, i’m perfectly content

87: What's their name?

michael mell & jason dean. last names are up to change

88: Have you ever been in their room?

yea

89: Shared a secret with them?

yea

90: Have they ever made you a promise and broken it?

idk

91: Have they ever disappointed you?

nah

92: Whats the most problematic thing about them, which you overlook due to your feelings for them?

decline to state

93: Have you ever had to compete for their affection?

not really?

94: For as long as they're in your life could you handle just being friends?

i. guess i could if it came down to it

96: What's standing in your way from being with them?

nothing

97: Would you let them use you for sex?

tf kinda question

98: Ever had a bad feeling about them that's screaming for you to get out while you still can?

nope

99: If you could go back in time, would you avoid ever meeting them?

nope

100: You have 1 wish about them, what would you wish for?

for them to be happy and safe. no matter what.

[zenithgays]

Chapters: 5/5 Fandom: Fire Emblem Heroes Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Summoner | Eclat | Kiran/Alfonse/Bruno | Zacharias Characters: Alfonse (Fire Emblem), Bruno | Zacharias, Summoner | Eclat | Kiran Additional Tags: Polyamory, Fluff and Humor, Angst, Literal Sleeping Together, Alternate Universe - Soulmates Published: 2018-07-16 Completed: 2018-07-20 Total Word Count:4823 Summary:

a collection of unrelated kiran/alfonse/bruno one-shots for tumblr user polyshipprompts' polyship week

my thoughts under the cut, it’s a REALLY long post this time because i’m covering all 5 chapters instead of making 5 separate posts

alright so. polyship week is something i try to do once a year over on @polyshipprompts, i basically give everyone tags to use prompts from for each day and just let them all go wild. 2016 i chickened out of posting anything because i just wrote for my ocs (one of those eventually got posted but not until a long time afterwards). 2017... there was no polyship week. i had planned to move it to winter, and then my laptop broke and i couldn’t really host it from mobile since i never use mobile tumblr

2018 was back to summer, though i think i held it earlier than i did in 2016. and i also decided “fuck it, let’s participate” so... i did. posting this is also reminding me that soon enough (in a couple of months) i need to start thinking about this year’s polyship week

anyway. i wrote kiran/bruno/alfonse (i’m calling the ship kirbrufonse, i hope more people make content for them and use this ship name so it catches on) because i was like “hm. ot3... well. this is the only thing coming to mind”

all the chapters have the prompts i picked in them already, i think most of them were prompts i came up with in the first place. it’s kinda funny

also i HAVE a summoner oc and i use him in all my fics that involve the summoner. kiran’s actually his nickname, but i use it instead of his actual name (cirino) so i don’t have to explain that to people. it’s fine

day 1 was fluff. it turned out a little bit more humorous than i thought/hoped but i still like it

of course it involves sleeping, because it’s me and that tends to come up in a lot of my fics (fun fact! “you and i have come such a long way” keeps getting called the “sleeping together” series by some of my friends. i guess that’s fair, my titles are pretty wordy bc i take them from song lyrics)

favorite part: Kiran married Alfonse, so technically the two of them were husbands. But that wasn’t the point, nor did Bruno particularly want to pursue that conversational topic because they’d had the discussion before. Many times, in fact. Kiran still felt like it wasn’t a completely valid marriage, even though Feh was technically ordained and qualified to perform the ceremony.

day 2... angst. tbh i don’t usually write angst, i’m not really about writing things that feel hopeless! feels like any time i do it, it’s more for someone else? which is okay with me

i came up with this weird au for this that i will literally never write because it confused the hell out of me to even think about. basically it involved kiran meeting modern reincarnations of alfonse and bruno. bruno remembered his past life, alfonse didn’t (and bruno hadn’t told him yet because it seems hard to believe). and the three of them got close again, even starting to date, AND THEN canon!bruno and alfonse figure out how to temporarily open portals to kiran’s world and... yeah. yeah it’s a clusterfuck. i think you can see why i didn’t and won’t actually write anything involving it. it’s just fun to think about a little

also i keep going back and forth on whether or not time passes here while kiran’s in askr? for the angst factor, i went with not for this fic since the idea of it being like nothing ever happened was too good to pass up. however i probably could’ve gone with yes, time did pass, and it’s suddenly years later which is... kinda horrifying to think about honestly! like did people think kiran died? (probably) how would he, or anyone, explain what happened? Who Knows

i could speculate on this some more, especially with regards to other heroes, too, because it is fucking INTERESTING and i have things to say on it but also this post is already real long and i have 3 more fics to cover so maybe some other time

favorite part:  “... Alright,” Kiran said, pulling the princes into a hug, sniffling only a little when they both held tight to him. “I’ll miss you.” He turned his head to kiss Alfonse on the cheek. “Both of you,” he amended, doing the same to Bruno.

“We’ll miss you, as well,” Bruno murmured, rubbing his hand up and down Kiran’s back.

Alfonse buried his face in Kiran’s shoulder. “I promise, one day, we’ll figure out how to get back to you.”

Kiran nodded. “Right. This isn’t goodbye forever. It’s just for now.” Maybe if he said that enough, he’d believe it, himself.

day 3! silly. god i wish i could think of a better name for that tag on the blog

it’s... another fic involving sleeping! alright. it also didn’t turn out as funny as i’d hoped it would. somehow my fluff fic was more humorous than this, at least in my opinion. it’s not a bad fic, by any means, but it sure isn’t how i wanted it to be

so my kiran’s a college student. communications major, which was an effort to make sure he wasn’t a self-insert since i was a liberal arts major. when i was in college (and even in high school tbh) i would stay up super late at night working on stuff, too. it’s not good, though, kids. don’t do it (i say, even though i STILL stay up until like 3 am most nights... it’s different now bc i don’t usually need to wake up before like 10 or 11)

rereading this to think of things to say about it reminds me how cute this is, honestly. i really am a sucker for characters sleeping together

favorite part:  “I’ll be done, soon, I prom--” Kiran was cut off as Alfonse pulled him down to the bed, moving so he was partly on top of his partner.

Kiran sometimes forgot about how strong Alfonse could be, but being pretty much pinned in place like this would ensure he never forgot again. “You’re heavy,” Kiran groaned, trying-but-not-really to push Alfonse off with his free hand.

“Be thankful it’s me and not Bruno doing this,” Alfonse quipped, and Kiran could feel his smile against his shoulder.

day 4 is au! aus are hard to write sometimes because they require like... being set up so you aren’t just thrust into everything without any idea what’s going on. luckily, i had the excuse of writing kiran as the pov character so i could explain things because he also wouldn’t be used to this

this day gave me some trouble. i made three separate attempts at this day. first attempt was like... a modern day college au that involved alfonse being set up by his parents with a childhood friend of his (zacharias) but because alfonse wasn’t interested in dating someone he hadn’t spoken to in years, he and kiran ended up fake dating for some kind of dinner they were all going to. but, true to fake dating form, they both actually had crushes on each other already

being polyship week, there’s really only one way for that to end: alfonse realizing “oh shit, he really is cute and i do still like him” about zacharias and then asking him out TOO in addition to clearing things up with kiran

i think i got stuck on Why alfonse’s parents would set him up w/ zacharias because i didn’t like the idea i had for it, so i ended up ditching it

attempt two was another soulmate au, this being one of the ones where you have your soulmate’s name on your wrist. but it was a zenith thing, not an “our world” thing. so alfonse and sharena had names, but kiran didn’t. sharena had fjorm’s name, though i don’t think i wrote that far ahead. fjorm/sharena is a cute ship and i should absolutely write something for it some time. but i did write abt sharena, who is trans because she’s trans in all my fics whether i mention it or not, being worried about what name her soulmate would have on her wrist. i probably wasn’t gonna follow up on that since it’s an ot3 fic but fjorm would absolutely have had the name sharena on her wrist

BUT THAT’S VERY MUCH NOT THE POINT anyway, alfonse has bruno’s name on his wrist... which has him thinking he hasn’t met his soulmate since bruno was going by a different name at the time (zacharias, of course)

i think what tripped me up is i tried to add in something about how the names would be on someone’s wrist in the handwriting they had at the age they’d meet? so it’d be implied he already met his soulmate but he wouldn’t know, which i think made things a little difficult for me to continue. had i gone on, i obviously would’ve gone through the reveal that bruno was alfonse’s soulmate

and i didn’t link what prompt i was using in my document like a fool. assumably it’s one of the ones i wrote about how soulmates aren’t The most important people possible, and people can have good relationships with people that aren’t their soulmates

what i’m saying is, alfonse and kiran would’ve gotten together anyway despite not being soulmates. i really can’t remember where i was going with this one though, tbh

anyway those both got scrapped bc i had issues with them, but third time’s the charm and i ended up w/ a red string soulmate au instead

i felt so bad writing kiran turning the both of them down even knowing the ending! i was like “no... come on, you could all be happy together” despite knowing exactly how i wanted this fic to end

i remember this one actually came pretty easily to me, thank god

one of my favorite things about it, that i don’t think many people might’ve picked up on, is the section with kiran and bruno. i mention there being too much food for two people, and kiran passing alfonse in the hallway as he’s rushing back to his room

what i was implying, and what i don’t think many people picked up on, was that alfonse was going to join the two of them so they could all talk about it (intending to tell kiran they were soulmates)

i don’t have any reasoning for bruno being able to see the strings between him, alfonse, and kiran. bruno can’t see everyone’s strings, it’s just those two because they’re his soulmates. but not everyone can see the strings, not even of their soulmates. really my reasoning was just “that’s how i can make this fic work” so i... did it. it’s fine

favorite part: Bruno averted his eyes, laughing nervously. “Well… I might have… fallen in love with you.” At Kiran’s face falling, Bruno went on, saying, “At first I was just grateful that you were so willing to help me. I’ve heard your eagerness to bring me home rivaled even Alfonse’s. But then, when I was finally back here in Askr, I got to see your kindness firsthand. It wasn’t just you wanting to repay a debt. You’re just compassionate by nature.“

You didn’t see me as Bruno, Prince of Embla. You saw me as an equal. I wasn’t used to it. I’m still not. The only people who treat me like an equal now are those who knew me when I was in hiding. It was more than a little refreshing.”

day 5 was a free day, where i could choose literally any prompt on the blog that i wanted. this one also gave me trouble and took 3 attempts to do. the other two both involved clothes swapping, which is another thing i’m weak for. one of those fics also had trans kiran and trans bruno in a way that was more than implied but still not like the center of the fic. honestly it’s something i should work on because i need people to know characters are trans when they read my fics, but i can’t just tag it without it being something actually PART of the fic

anyway. the end result i got was basically written the day it was posted, and like i said in the notes on it, written while i’d only gotten 3 hours of sleep. geo, my beta reader, is literally the reason this fic was any good at all. i’m not that fond of it personally? it’s not bad, exactly, just i don’t really like it much

i think parts of it were pretty good, and i did kind of like having kiran and bruno be the ones to get together first, instead of kiran and alfonse or alfonse and bruno. i should totally write some more about the dynamic between the three of them+in pairs.

i do like that i had alfonse sandwiched between kiran and bruno at one point. that was good and very galaxy brain of me. thanks to geo for helping me properly explain that part because it was very important to me people knew how the three of them were positioned

favorite part: Still, he stepped back, allowing the door to swing open more. The very moment Zacharias closed it behind him, Kiran practically threw himself at Alfonse. “We’re sorry!” Kiran cried out, pulling Alfonse into a surprisingly tight hug. The only reason the two of them hadn’t toppled over due to it was that Zacharias was upon them in the next instant, pulling them both upright. He also spun them around in the process, so Alfonse’s back was up against his friend’s chest.

aaaand since this post is technically about 5 different fics, i might as well include...

favorite fic: it’s a hard choice, but probably day 3! it might not have turned out how i wanted it to go, but i think it was probably the best of the bunch. i’m also super proud of day 2 and day 4, though