#i’m already in love with wonderlust and i need more immediately

[larks-birdhouse]

he’s an asshole he’s a nepo baby he has daddy issues he thinks about dudes sometimes he’s an idiot he doesn’t understand directions he can’t stand still he’s a sopping wet cat of a man and i love him

she’s a rat from queens she’s a woman in stem she has asthma she has a lisp she desperately needs approval she’s my daughter and i love her

he has anxiety he is constantly guilty he is wanted across the city he cannot say no he is trying so hard he is having a weird fucking time he needs a break so badly and i love him

[mybunnyparadenme]

Truce

Summary: A late night conversation between Mysterion and Professor Chaos. A/N: New Snapshots chapter! This one’s silly, hope you guys enjoy~!

It was a peaceful night, unusual for this part of town given how late it was. There had been some heroic action a few minutes prior, but now two costume-clad teenagers were relaxing on the rooftop, leaning against the back of a billboard and deep in conversation.

"Wait, let me get this straight." Chaos said slowly, attempting to make sense of Mysterion's last sentence. "You're saying we have a... following? Of people who write stories about us?"

"Well, they're not exactly 'straight'..." Mysterion said, a wry smile forming beneath his mask.

Chaos couldn't help the laugh that escaped his mouth. "Okay, I guess that makes sense, since you said it was mostly the asian girls doing it. How'd you find out about it?"

"My sister found this website and showed it to me. I have it bookmarked here, look." Mysterion dug around in his pocket and pulled out his phone.

Chaos scooted closer towards him, peering down at the tiny screen riddled with cracks. "Oh, that's in real bad shape. Do you need a phone case? I've got a really nice one in my evil lair somewhere."

Mysterion raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't think a phone case would help at this point."

Chaos shrugged, his face carefully neutral. "It couldn't hurt though. And besides, it's purple. It would match your whole color scheme perfectly, Mysterion."

He narrowed his eyes at Chaos, though there was a sly smile starting at the corner of his mouth. "It kind of sounds like you're just trying to lure me into your evil lair, Chaos."

Chaos gave him an wide eyed look, way too innocent to be real. "I don't know what you're talking about, mister. We called a truce ten minutes ago."

The best part of a truce was the moment you could go back on it, but Mysterion wasn't about to ruin the fun by admitting what they already knew. Instead he turned his attention back to his phone and nodded. "Alright, I'll take you up on that offer. We can head over there after I show you these. Damn this is taking forever to load."

"This area never has good reception." Chaos said reassuringly.

"Nah, it's probably my shitty service. Ah, here we go." Mysterion moved so that they could both see the screen better. There were a few more stories now from when he'd last checked the page.

"Wow that sure is a lot!" Chaos leaned in closer, his arm pressing against Mysterion's. He didn't seem to notice as his eyebrows came together while he read through the titles. "Super Craig and Wonder Tweek Love Story... Wonderlust... Superficial, oh that one's kinda clever. Looks like a lot of these are about those two, huh?"

"Yeah, but it makes sense when you realize the writers are the same girls who drew all that yaoi fanart of them."

Chaos smiled. "I think it's sweet. It's like a love letter to their relationship. Oh here's one that's not about them. It's called... A World of Chaos?" His eyes widened. "Wait, is this one about me?"

Mysterion scanned the summary underneath the title and bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. "Yeah, it's your villainous backstory! Damn, check out that word count."

Chaos looked like he was fighting back a grin. "I can't believe people are writin' stories about me! I figured they'd want to focus mostly on the good guys, seeing as nobody likes villains."

Mysterion didn't bother hiding his laugh this time. "Dude, are you kidding? People cream themselves over a good villain backstory. Bonus points if the hero has a thing for the bad guy at some point." He gave Chaos a playful nudge and wagged his eyebrows suggestively. "Or the other way around."

Chaos turned pink underneath his silver helmet. "S-So they probably write about you an' me huh?"

"I've seen a few, yeah." Mysterion said, clicking onto the next page. His eyes lit up, a teasing edge lifting the corner of his mouth. "Though Chacoon's way more popular on here."

"Chacoon? What's that?" Chaos asked. He peered down at the screen, his curiosity slowly morphing into quiet despair as he read through the page. "Me and The Coon? Aw, why are they linking the two of us like that? I could do way better than him."

Mysterion grinned, taking just a bit of pleasure in the disappointment on his Chaos' face. "Yeah, I can think of at least three other heroes you'd be better off with. And if it makes you feel any better, I've seen a few stories with me and the Coon as a couple too. There was even one the other day with me and him fighting for Human Kite in a love triangle."

"Well that's just drama for drama's sake." Chaos said. He looked relieved to hear that though, and a small smile brightened his face. "Who ended up winning in the end, you or The Coon?"

"Hell if I know, I only skim the stuff." Okay, that was a lie. He wasn't actually invested in the love triangle! Redheads didn't really do it for him the way cute blondes with twangy accents did, but the writer's style was actually really good. He got caught up in the suspense and well, he was now eagerly awaiting the next update... He cleared his throat loudly, trying to hide the embarrassed flush creeping up his face.

"You okay?" Chaos asked.

"'m fine." He said, slouching lower against the back of the billboard. "Just feeling tired after the workout you put me through earlier."

"We were running around an awful lot, weren't we?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out an energy bar, holding it out to Mysterion with a cheerful smile. "Here ya go, it's not much but maybe it'll help?"

"Oh." Mysterion blinked at the colorfully wrapped offering for a second, then took it gratefully. "Thanks, dude. Hold my phone while I get it open?"

"Of course." Chaos scrolled through the rest of the stories on the page while Mysterion tore open the energy bar, humming a little tune under his breath. He didn't go snooping around like Mysterion had expected him to, and gave it back the second his hand was free again.

"Kinda weird that you didn't take advantage of that moment, Chaos." Mysterion said, scrolling down in between bites of his energy bar.

Chaos tilted his head curiously. "What do you mean?"

"I literally handed you an opportunity to do something chaotic." He said, gesturing to the phone in his hand. "You could've changed some of my contacts or deleted a few photos, or even let it drop into the alleyway."

Chaos frowned, his eyebrows coming together just under the line of his helmet. "But why would I do that?"

Mysterion didn't say anything. The energy bar was starting to taste less like blueberries and more like guilt. "Because that's what bad guys do?"

Chaos shook his head immediately. "Well yeah, but we're still in a truce, Mysterion! And well, doing something permanent like that would just be mean."

Right, the truce. Out of all of the people that still played this game of good and evil, he and Chaos were the only ones who would take breaks like this in between fights. Chaos was the only one he trusted enough not to get in a cheap hit, and here he was assuming things like an asshole. He sighed. "I'm sorry, dude."

"Aw, no need to apologize!" Chaos said, giving him a reassuring smile. "You're just following your heroic instincts, and it's always good to be wary around your enemies, truce or no truce."

Mysterion groaned, though the hints of a smile were starting to form on his face. "God, stop being so nice, Chaos. If you keep this up you're gonna make me look like a total dick."

"To who, the asian girls?" Chaos laughed, a light, contagious sound that quickly got Mysterion going too. Their voices echoed in the still night air, and it was a couple of minutes before it was quiet again.

"Hey, Mysterion?"

"Yeah?"

Chaos stared down at his shiny silver boots, dangling off the edge of the scaffolding. His face was serious now. "You mentioned before when we were looking at the website, how you could think of heroes I'd be good with..." He brought his hands together, tapping his knuckles in an all too familiar gesture. "Just out of curiosity, who were you talking about?"

Mysterion felt his shoulders tense at the pointed question. He cleared his throat, wishing he had some water to wash down the now too dry energy bar. "Ah, nobody in particular, really. I was just letting you know you'd have better options."

Aluminum foil crinkled underneath his hands. "Well, I could've sworn it sounded like you had specific people in mind. You were sayin' that you knew three heroes I'd be good with."

"So... are you asking me to hook you up with someone?" Mysterion asked, a heavy feeling settling into his gut. He'd been wanting to cheer Chaos up when he'd said that, and it wasn't like he was lying or anything. A few of his teammates in the Freedom Pals would sometimes look at Chaos the way Mysterion did when he thought no one was looking.

Chaos was quiet for a long time, a pink blush creeping up his face even as a nervous frown tugged his lips down. "W-Well, I... I kinda-"

He was cut off by a bell sound coming from Mysterion's phone. They both blinked down at the screen, and Mysterion felt a wave of relief go through him at the sudden distraction. He didn't know what Chaos had wanted to say, but right now he wasn't sure he was brave enough to hear it. He cleared his throat. "Hey look, a story's been updated!"

"The website gives notifications?" Chaos asked. He looked interested, but was also clearly relieved at the change in conversation.

"Not exactly." Mysterion said, his shoulders relaxing as he clicked on the story. "I'm actually following this one."

There was a teasing glint in Chaos' gaze, all the tension from earlier disappearing from his face. "I think you're more invested in these stories than you're willing to admit, Mysterion."

He couldn't really deny it at this point, no matter how embarrassing the truth was. "Fine, go ahead and laugh at me but this person's really talented! Check this out, they add illustrations and everything."

"Ooh, really?" Chaos leaned in so close he was practically in Mysterion's lap. His eyes lit up at the pictures that were scattered through the page. "Wow, this person's really good! I like the way they drew your costume, but they got your hair color wrong."

Mysterion grinned. "I think they gave me dark hair to fit that 'tall, dark, and handsome' vibe. Do you think I should dye my hair to match?"

"I think the color's great, you could definitely pull it off." Chaos looked away from the screen for a moment, his eyes settling on Mysterion's hair. "But you look good like this too. Especially now that it's not hidden under a hood."

Mysterion ducked his head, hiding the blush that rose to his cheeks at the compliment. "Too bad my head's always cold, huh?"

"Yeah." Chaos agreed, reaching into his pocket to get an energy bar for himself. His expression froze when he saw that the next picture was of him. "Oh gosh is that supposed to be me? I look like a rockstar!"

"They always draw you looking really cool." Mysterion said, smiling at how shocked Chaos looked. "I think the writer's a big fan of yours."

A huge grin lit up his face. "I'm so flattered! And I think the eyepatch is a great addition to the costume, I kinda want to start wearing one for real. Is there a way to talk to them on this website? I wanna tell them they're awesome!"

"Hang on, you don't want to risk compromising your secret identity." Mysterion said, careful not to scroll to far down to the comments section. He was willing to follow under a pseudonym, but he'd be damned if he was going to start a conversation with yaoi fangirls.

(Well, more damned than he usually was.)

Chaos looked disappointed as he took a bite out of his energy bar, but he nodded. "I guess you're right. But I could still wear the eye patch though, just for fun."

"And hide those big doe eyes?" Mysterion placed a hand dramatically over his heart. "Oh say it ain't so, Buttercup!"

Chaos jolted at the nickname, and suddenly the bite he'd just taken out of his energy bar became lodged in his throat. He started choking and it took Mysterion a few seconds to register what was happening. Of course he then immediately sprang into action, delivering several hard thumps on his back before Chaos finally coughed up the half-chewed mess onto his hands. They both winced at the mess, but Chaos flicked it out into the alleyway next to them and gave Mysterion a shaky smile. "Th-Thanks, you really saved me there."

"There's a plot for a love story if I ever heard one." Mysterion smiled back, but his heart was racing in his chest and his hands were shaking. Holy shit, that had been terrifying.

Chaos laughed, softer than usual after the trauma his throat had gone through it sounded no less genuine. "The hero saves the villain's life. That's not a bad idea at all, Ken."

Mysterion shivered at sound of his real name. They always stuck to their personas while in costume, but he'd gone and slipped up first and now Chaos... Butters was doing the same. He bit his lip nervously, heart hammering in his chest for a different reason. "Hey Butters, about before-"

"There you are Professor Chaos!" A voice called from the opposite rooftop. They both turned to see General Disarray standing on the ledge, waving a hand in their direction. "Are you okay? Do you need me to come over there and help you out?"

"I'm fine General, don't worry!" Chaos said waving back cheerfully. He turned to face Mysterion, revealing a smile that showed way too many teeth to be friendly anymore. "Looks like our truce is over for now, hero. Next time we meet we're enemies again. Oh, and I'll bring you the phone case tomorrow at school, okay?"

"Okay, looking forward to it." Mysterion said, not moving as Chaos stood and joined his sidekick on the other rooftop. He watched as they disappeared into the night, not bothering to follow after them at first. It was only fair to give the two of them a headstart, let them have a chance to actually do something villainous before he swooped in to stop them like always. His feelings could wait until the morning.

After all, tonight they had their roles to play.