#i’m a fag with a piss kink so dont come for me

[huolestunutananas]

I made the Piss Faggot jacket for Pride!

(in black because that’s what I had on hand)

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Idea: Yazukzashi

Also on AO3! 

TL;DR:

Hizashi in part of a Yakuza family, Shouta is the hapless gen ed. student that transfers into his hero class. The class tries to warn him about the blonde's Yakuza connections but...

Shouta is kinda dense.

TW: CHILD ABUSE it accidentally got angsty in the middle there. if that's a trigger for you, skip this one. its not very explicit but the stuff implied is nasty.

anyway, so this was supposed to be a comedy au. oops.

Anyway, this was written before we knew about Shirakumo if you’re wondering why he isn’t here / why Nemuri is the same age as Shouta.

the yakuza zashi au

hes not morally perfect bc he's a yakuza kid with his parents cheering him on

with a hoard of other yakuza they all have handmade signs and a special cheer

they are at the sports festival and they are scaring the people around them. they look like they wanna beat up shouta when he beats mic, but then one of them whispers "oh wait! that's the young lord's crush!" and these burly men giggle like school girls

Hizashi abusing his dads connections to help this scruffy lil gen ed boy stay out of trouble and then he gets into the hero course and he's like,,, "fuck, I'm gonna need a bigger allowance to pay people off"

ok so he's actually yakuza on his mum's side, his dad married into the family, his dad took his mum's last name bc i say so

anyway his parents look like Criminals and it makes him laugh tbh bc they are really sweet, if totally also criminals. his dad has a scar cutting from his eyebrow to his cheekbone, everyone assumes it from a knife fight. it's from a cat. His mum is a high femme boss lady style femme fatale, and she rocks it. However, she's secretly a total tomboy who just likes looking fancy

also hizashi was like,,, very gay growing up. the stereotypical gay kid, and his parents thought he was just the sweetest thing tbh

his mum did his nails all glittery, his dad took him to gymnastics

anyway: so he and his parents have an,,, interesting sense of morality

they don't like killing people bc it's lazy, messy and pretty rude, but they will in some scenarios, ie: they tried to kill you for no good reason, they backstabbed you for no good reason, they did something horrific too you etc

hizashi doesn't view killing as the worst thing someone can do, but he does see it as a total last resort. in the family, betrayal is worse than murder, same w the whole yakuza family

so hizashi has great parents

shouta - shouta is not so lucky

his mum doesn't really,,, care much for him. his stepfather is a b a s t a r d. does terrible things we ain't getting into, calls shouta a fag, useless, "basically quirkless", etc. his mum just tells him to stop "making his father angry"

after the sports festival when shouta kicks hizashi's actual ass hes totally prepared to be hated, he's expecting it honestly.

but hizashi looks at him with wide eyes and mutters "so,,,, cool,,," and he feels himself blush like a tomato. moving into 1A after the festival hizashi basically forces him to become his friend. shouta has 0 say in the matter

the only people brave enough to really befriend him rather than just being chill w him were nemuri and tensei

nemuri bc shes gives no fucks ab any yakuza bitch, tensei because he has some faith in the background check system to not let a violent bastard in

now shouta has no clue hizashi is in the yakuza

everyone else in 1A knows they try and like,, warn him. subtly. but he doesn't get it at all and actually thinks they mean hizashi is bitter ab the festival

so shouta 'lets' himself be befriended all the while expecting that some time hizashi, nemuri and tensei are going to beat the crap out of him when hes not expecting it

hizashi and co. are fucking around at lunch, eating outside and messing around

nemuri says one of her normal pretty explicit jokes to shouta and shouta panics

he can't handle it, shuts down, has a silent panic attack that freaks them all the fuck out because he's not breathing, he's just shaking and crying silently and nemuri, obviously, feels like shit and shes panicking a lil ab what to do

tensei is trying to calm shouta down and failing bc shouta is panicking so hard he can't even fucking hear him

hizashi is really regretting his brains because he's just made some really horrific connections

the bell rings, hizashi tells nemuri and tensei to go back to class and just sits there and holds shouta's hand until he calms down

poor guy is dissociating like fuck too

so hizashi considers going back to class

he really does

but then he thinks "nope, fuck it" and he sits with shouta outside until the bell rings to go home

shouta starts to feel a little,,, better? more aware? idk, but he apologises and tries to say nothing was wrong and he just overreacted

hizashi just looks at him

"look, I'm not gonna make you tell me. but that wasn't nothing. I'm not that stupid."

shouta tries to defend himself but just gives up bc it's not like hizashi is wrong. nemuri and tensei bring their bags down, explain their teachers weren't that mad (nezu totally saw that happening on the cameras and told the teachers that they might not be coming back to class)

nezu is a good man also ive decided hes immortal and principal always

hizashi would totally put a hit out on shouta’s parents but he's stony silent ab his homelife, they don't even know if he has parents and asking seems rude bc they've known the guy like a month

now hizashi's parents

have no such moral qualms

and they get people to scope out shouta's house. wiretaps, bugs, stake outs, the works. bc hizashi told them that his friend had the mother of all panic attacks when nemuri made a dirty joke about a daddy kink and that is a warning sign if ever there was one

it literally takes a day for the stakeout team to report back, and they are fucking fuming. they heard aizawa's stepdad spew some nasty shit then make his son sleep outside

(this au shouta adores cats bc the strays stay with him when he's locked out, which is pretty often. he doesn't mind being locked out because it's better than the alternative)

so, hizashi's parents? pissed.

very pissed

bc you dont. hurt. kids. and this is their kid's new friend

so

they have a plan (tm)

it involves mainly making shouta more comfortable with them + hizashi, then beating his dad's teeth in

to move away from angst for the moment, even baby zashi has tattoos bc he's part of the family

he just has a big one on his shoulder blades of a koi, and tiny one just under his collar bone of a music note

hizashi takes shouta out for bubble tea like every Friday. Hes highkey rich with a massive allowance from his parents and spoils the fuck out of all of his friends

he totally had a crush on shouta before the sports festival from when they were in the same entrance exam and shouta saved his ass from a robot. He was heartbroken that shouta didn’t make it into the hero course