#i’ll try to add a read more to this tomorrow i’m on mobile rn

[darlingamidala]

Obianidala Week 2023

Day 1 prompt: Canon Divergence

First of all, thank you so much to @obianidalaevent for putting on this event!!! I've been waiting for an obianidala event for literally years, so naturally I wanted to post something for every day. Unfortunately due to life/work, I was only able to do one new piece for it. But thankfully, I have a years long backlog of WIPs that have been lurking in my drafts folder, so this is the perfect opportunity to let some of them see the light of day!

I wrote this scene in 2018, which is part of an AU that I was never able to fully flesh out enough to write. Basically, obianidala are together during the Clone Wars, but everything still goes to shit in RotS. Padme survives the birth of the twins, and she and Obi-wan, believing themselves to be widowed, go into hiding. You can also read this on ao3

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Obi-wan came out of his meditation and pushed himself to his feet. He had a bad feeling about… something. It was ominous, but elusive. But then, the last thirteen years had been full of bad feelings, and for good reason. The twins were safe, at least for now, tucked into their bunks on the ship that they called home.

He sighed as he made his way down the hallway towards the bedroom he shared with Padme. He found her sitting on the edge of the bed in the half-lit room. She was tense, curled in on herself, and looked up at him with wide eyes that glistened with unshed tears. He gave her a sympathetic look as he quietly walked over to sit beside her. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. She rested her head against his shoulder, burying her face against the fabric of his shirt.

They both had nights like this, where the loss of their husband would suddenly hit them hard and the pain of what had happened all those years ago felt like a fresh wound all over again. It had been several years since he had seen Padme cry over it though.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Are you alright?” he murmured.

Padme took a shaky breath as she pulled away. She pulled her arms in towards herself with her hands curled protectively in front of her stomach as she tried to blink her tears away. “Obi-wan..” she whispered, uncertainty and… fear? in her eyes. “I’m pregnant.”

She said the word like it was a death sentence, as if she had contracted some horrible illness. And it may as well have been, for the way Obi-wan stilled, how he gripped her hands tighter as he looked away with his lips parted in a silent denial of her statement.

“It was a dream… Like the ones I used to have about my mother, just before she died.”

Obi-wan had been silenced by his own guilt about his inaction in response to those dreams.

“And?” Padme coaxed. She had always had such a way of helping where he couldn’t, when it came to Anakin.

“It was about you.”

“Tell me.”

“It was only a dream… You die in childbirth.”

Obi-wan frowned in concern as he stepped over to Anakin and placed a reassuring hand on his arm.

Padme’s hands had come up to cradle her stomach as she asked about the baby. Anakin had said he didn’t know what would become of their child.

Obi-wan opened his mouth to say something, but he still didn’t trust himself to say the right words.

“It was only a dream,” Padme dismissed with a reassuring smile, taking Anakin’s free hand in her own.

“I won’t let this one become real,” he replied with grave determination.

“You’re certain that that’s what you saw?” Obi-wan asked, having finally found his voice.

“I’m certain, Obi-wan.”

Obi-wan reached up and tucked Anakin’s hair behind his ear before resting his hand on his cheek, his thumb just brushing the scar upon his brow. “Then we will do what we can to keep it from coming true.”

It hadn’t come true then, though neither of them believed their husband’s drastic measures had been to thank for that. But now… she was older, more susceptible to complications. And they no longer had access to Core-standard medical facilities; they went to Rebellion medics when they could, but mostly they relied on a medkit they kept in their ship.

Neither of them said anything, but they both knew they were thinking the same thing: Anakin’s vision could still come to pass. She may have survived the birth of the twins, but now... her odds were not as good.

“Oh, Padme...” Obi-wan sighed, gathering her back into his arms, holding her tightly as if that would be enough to save her. One hand came up to cradle her head, his fingers digging into her dark curls, much shorter now than they had been back then.

She choked out a sob as she pressed her face against his chest and brought her arms up to return his embrace, clutching at the back of his shirt.

“Shh, shh, it’s alright,” he murmured reassuringly against her hair, absently rocking her as he stared out into the middle distance. Another sob wracked her body, and he continued to whisper empty platitudes, wishing that he could truly believe she would be okay.

He was choked up as well, a sob caught in his throat and tears threatening to well up in his eyes, but he willed himself not to cry. They had made a silent agreement when the twins were very small, that when the grief welled up in one of them, the other would do their best to give them someone to lean on, to not get dragged under as well. He needed to be strong for Padme.

Her tears began to die down, and she sniffled as she lifted her head to look at him. “What are we going to do?”

“What can we do?” he asked hopelessly.

“I’m worried about the twins,” she confessed.

“They’ll be fine,” he reassured her. That, at least, was something he felt fairly sure of. He did not want to take care of them alone; they were supposed to have three parents, and it would break his heart if they got down to one. But they were growing up. They weren’t babies anymore, and before long they wouldn’t even be children.

Anakin hadn’t been a child when he lost his mother, and it had still devastated him.

“I can take care of them,” Obi-wan promised. “I will keep them safe.” I will love them enough for the three of us. The last thought went unspoken. He wasn’t ready to commit to the idea of her being gone.

Padme slowly returned to leaning against him, until he was supporting her full weight. “Hold me,” she whispered, barely audible, and he did.

They sat silently for a long while, trying to gain comfort from each other’s presence and closeness as they came to terms with their new situation, until Padme pulled away to finish getting ready for bed.