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#i’ll stop tagging part so that im not spamming
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Assorted Gavril/Bubo doodles <3
The BUBO Series belongs to @partuulla!
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tarosin · 3 years
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the not so great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo and ranboo
this is an extra episode to the great adventures series -
people included: platonic! jack/tubbo/ranboo/tommy
please read what is written in bold
this is an “alternative ending” around 15 years into the future and is heavily inspired by bo burnhams song ‘goodbye’ this doesn’t mean this is actually how the series is going to end im writing it now and including it as part of series as their friendship is already established i can confirm y/n and the group are going to have a happy ending when the series eventually comes to an end this also does not mean the series is anywhere near the end i plan on continuing the series as vlogs come out. i’m sorry HOWEVER i am currently writing how y/n made friends with everyone so you have that to look forward to. i am sorry to the new people who requested to be on the taglist as this is the first thing you’re being tagged in
cw: angst, cursing
it had been around 14 years since ranboo moved to the UK, a year after the day you all met, to be with you tommy and tubbo. you were all thriving; you were living with your best friends, were all some of the most watched creators, you were constantly making new memories with everyone. you even had a wall full of photos of you all from every adventure you had been on with a picture of ranboo poorly edited into the background which made you laugh as you passed the wall every day. almost every evening you would all watch something on the tv, often re watching your favourite tv shows. the past few months had been pretty rough, there were days you didn’t even want to leave the house. you and tommy would fight over the smallest things. for example, a few weeks ago you were both arguing about who was responsible for forgetting something whilst out shopping.
“you were supposed to remind me to get it!”
“i told you to make a fucking list tommy, how is this my fault?”
“because i told you to fucking remind me but you were too focused on playing around!”
“you’re not making any sense tommy!”
“oh fuck off, y/n! i don’t even want to look at you right now!”
“so long tommy i’ll see you when i see you!”
and with that you left to stay with jack until you were ready to go back home, it was around now you lost your love for streaming, however jack encouraged you to stream for a little while so you fans don’t think you’ve left them in the dark. 20 minutes into the stream you felt like you were slowly loosing power even though it hadn’t even been an hour into your stream. A week later you were still with jack, that’s when you got the notification from tubbo.
bo: y/n... we’re sorry we tried our best to make him stay
boo: y/n come home as soon as possible
*tommy has left the chat*
*tommy has blocked tubbo, ranboo, jack and y/n*
bo: he blocked me??
jack: and me
boo: ...yeah
jack offered to drive you back home, which you gladly accepted. the ride was silent, the pair of you still trying to process what just happened, your friend of over 14 years had enough and left you all, until you finally spoke up your voice shaking as you tried not to cry.
“so this is how it ends heh?”
“well at least i’ll save fuel driving taking us all on adventures.”
“youre really joking at a time like this..”
“i was only trying to lighten the mood.. you know you’re being rather selfish not everything is about you. you’ve always been like this.”
“jack, i know you’re upset, i am too, please don’t take this out on me.”
“get out the car.”
“well stop the car then for fuck sake, i’m not getting injured because of you.”
as soon as jack pulled over, you got out and began the walk home, your vision became blurry due to the tears forming as you watched jack drive away. you ended up sitting in a cafe for a while to calm down. none of this felt real you pinched yourself, hoping to find out you were stuck in some nightmare. jack must have returned by the time you made it to the cafe as the community was now spamming questions on twitter asking why jack has now left and unfollowed everyone, followed by your mods telling you to check twitter. your fan base were hurt as their favourite streamers were falling apart and blocking each other. followed by them asking why you’ve not been streaming, you felt like you were going crazy as everyone else was able to stream and enjoyed doing so but you were struggling to stream with no one laughing in the background. you ended up sending a dm to your discord announcements knowing that they’ll share the news.
y/n: so long, goodbye for now. you guys have been extremely supportive over the past 15 years. however there is a lot going on right now (i’ll spare you all the details) i’m going to be taking a break for a while. after all does anybody want to joke when no one’s laughing in the background? i’m sure we’ll meet again, until then my loves!
10 minutes later you decided you should probably go home to the others, after all they’re all you have left.
“i promise to never go outside again.”
as soon as you walked into the house rather than being met with tubbo asking if you were okay, you were met with a notification.
*bo has left the chat*
he stood with his bags near the door
“this is all your fault, i can’t look at you anymore”
“you’re really joking in a time like this...right?”
“you were looking for a reason hide again.”
“trust me buddy i found it.”
ranboo pulled you as close as he could crying into the crook of your neck, you wrapped your arms around his waist as tubbo left the house. it felt like he took the happy memories with him. as soon as ranboo let go, you ran to your room locking the door trying to hide away from the situation, ranboo sat on the other side of the door not wanting to be alone.
“am i going crazy? would i even know? am i right back where i started 14 years ago?”
“y/n let me in.”
you unlocked the door and practically fell into ranboos arms, once you felt strong enough the pair of you sat on your bed, nothing could separate the pair of you right now, you both lost the people you cared about.
“i swear to god all i ever wanted was a little bit of everything all of the time. i’ve finished playing and i’m staying inside.”
“y/n i’m sorry..”
“im sorry too, ranboo, i guess this is the it.”
“at least we have each other.”
“and that fucking photograph wall.”
“that’s a problem for another night..please get some rest.”
it took a while but eventually you fell asleep in his embrace. you may have lost the others but at least one of your best friends stuck around.
taglist (sorry guys)
@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @c1loudee
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romqnticstylez · 3 years
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500 Followers
hjshdjshajhxwi how. how did this happen- i literally only shitpost and reblog stupid stuff lol but. THANK YOU! i appreciate every single one of my followers and mutuals <3 you all are amazing
kay cheesy part over for now so. i'm holding a ✨ sleepover ✨ that I did not decide on in a split second. feel free to send me as many asks as you'd like! (read: please don't let this flop). i'll answer all of them.
this sleepover will be open from 27/10/21 until 3/11/21. anyone can participate, follower or not!
i was gonna do emojis but i realised it might be boxes for some people so you get the titles of my favourite songs instead
don't look down - send me a ship for a fic rec
dandelions - send me a ship/character for an attempt at a moodboard.
i think about you (mutuals only) - i'll give you a small handwritten note
steal your heart (close mutuals only)- you get a voice reveal 😌✨
heaven - send me a ship with a scenario for a drabble (if someone dares to send me drarry i will murder you/hj)
domino - cym, fmk, never have i ever, all that.
vacation bible school - i’ll make you a spotify playlist based on things i think you’d like.
okaY cheesy part is back for some of my closEST mutuals
@justadreamyhufflepuff helloo wife bestie child ok so you're so sweet and friendly i thought talking to you would be kinda awkward at first because yk new mutual 👀 and all but it was so EASY i love that and i love how we just start talking in caps lock and our convos are so chaotic full of energy anyways ily thank u for being my friend <3
@g1nny-p0tter hi mother and only mother (for now) you were so dry at first smh but you gave me a cat so i kept talking to u/j 🐈 and now we're besties and i spam you everyday lol you're amazing and you're the reason i cannot fathom typing without keyboard smashhjjsdh lol ily <3
@roonilwazlibweasley hi im in love with u you were my first moot and like when i first started posting i didn't think i'd make any friends here (not in the 'no one likes me' way but im not gonna make this long w an explanation jsjjsd 😀) but then u were (are) so cool so i sent u that ask and now we're the coolest married ppl on tumblr <3
@mx28 we don't talk as much now but. i think u were the reason i started being more chaotic here slowly and now everyone knows im unhinged 👍 but anyways ily u larry louis mel obsessed samosa with a wing kink
@lev-will-commit-treason beginning of our friendship was. beautiful <3 i never did sacrifice u tho did i 😕😕 lol anyways i love u spamming me and ur so chaotic and cool and weird but in a good way so u get another <3 one of my triplets my wife my child love ya
@loonyloopylupin5 following u back was the smartest decision I've ever made tbh i like ur dead james jokes :) jsjdjshuhid ur cool and funny and ur stories are >>> also your mum rocks 😎😎 ly other triplet wife and child
@livingincolorsagain can i start this by saying i had a stroke when you followed me lmaojskdskajd no but really i was literally :0 when u did lol anyway aijdjds you're amazing 10/10 humor and taste talking to you always makes me smile so please stop dying/j 🐬🐬
@fuck-spooky-season @sethclearwatermybeloved hello. u two together because i need to go finish my cat 👍 love murdering people with u riri and spamming u is very fun jade <3 but fr i love talking to you both 🦆 also i do not remember if u actually know each other or not but we should go murder 500 homophobes
now my other moots who i also love v much because you’re supposed to do that or something- <3
@1-until-the-very-end-1 (i'm giving u an honorary mention for that ^ because i got lazy forgive me please anyways that's why you get to be first tagged mwah) @creative-girl @toomanynotifications @dr4cking @nousheen @wolfstar-lb @simp-for-cedric-diggory @femaledoubleagent @sappho-is-my-wife @athenapotter @imapparentlycoolandfriendly @vegathebrighteststar @hyacinths-on-my-grave @alpine-loves-bucky @maraudersupremacy1 @marauders-lupin @canyon-perk @tolerate-it-tomlinson @just-a-smol-spoon @just-a-potterhead @nymphadorathebubba @siriusblackinskirts @remuslupininskirts @jamespotterinskirts @i-do-random-things-do-not-ask @regulusblackinskirts @kember-writes @myopicmeerkat @i-is-a-fangurl-weeb @i-wanna-b-yours @fangirl2o20 @they-ca-llme-princess @sassychaostrash @geetikarandamgirl @magic-is-beauty + everyone else i forgot because i, being the amazing mutual i am, forgot everyone’s urls.
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azucanela · 4 years
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CAUGHT | TSUKISHIMA KEI
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HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST
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SUMMARY: Y/N had been hoping to just cry her frustrations away peacefully in the empty classroom she’d managed to find. Of course, just like the rest of her day, even that simple dream went terribly wrong when the one and only Tsukishima Kei ended up being the person that found her. 
WORD COUNT: 1.5k
WARNINGS: crying, hurt/comfort, y/n is sad, mild implications of men being bad, 
A/N: salty boy spam is coming im sorry ahead of time
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This had to be the worst possible outcome, the worst case scenario, the most horrible thing that could’ve occurred— aside from the things that had led up to this, to Y/N finding herself crying in an empty classroom of the school long after the bell had rung. Though Y/N supposed she shouldn’t be shocked seeing as everything had gone wrong since the morning started, when she’d woken up late and missed the bus. Then she was late to class and received detention, then she’d realized she’d forgotten her homework, followed by that stupid boy who— Y/N tried to shake off these thoughts, not wanting her tears to continue falling at the reminder of just how horrid her day had been.
Everything had all piled up on her, and all it had taken was one minor inconvenience for her to simply break down crying out of pure frustration. 
And now, her friend— though he’d probably tell her they were barely acquaintances, Tsukishima Kei, stood before her. Though she had yet to experience his apparently cruel and teasing remarks, Y/N had a feeling that was about to change. Most says he’d accompany her on the walk home, or between classes, and Y/N liked to think the they’d built a pretty good friendship. Bonding through shared classes and study sessions, and of course the Karasuno Volleyball Club that she helped run as manager. He’d treated her with respect, for the most part, she hadn’t been entirely shielded from his teasing, though Hinata and Kageyama received the brunt of it.
Tsukishima stood at the entrance of the room, his hand still wrapped around the door knob as he stared at her with a blank look on his face. Y/N found herself wanting to laugh because of course Tsukishima Kei was the one who found her sobbing in an empty classroom after school. It couldn’t have been Sugawara, or Daichi, no. Instead it was the infamously cold-hearted Tsukishma.
He was having similar thoughts as he watched Y/N look up at him with wide eyes, reddened and brimming with tears, his grip on the door knob tightened. Though he maintained his carefree look, Tsukishima found himself panicking internally because why did he decide to tell Yamaguchi to go on without him? He was far better at comforting people, a skill he’d probably picked up because of how often he’d apologize for Tsukishima’s... crude words. 
Aside from his panic, Tsukishima was curious as to why she’d been crying.
And maybe worried. Not that he’d ever admit it. 
He opened his mouth to speak only for Y/N to begin speaking first, “I’m so sorry.” A nervous laugh escaped her as she swiftly wiped away her tears, as his brows furrowed, but Tsukishima shut his mouth as she continued, “I should probably be at practice, managing as managers do.” She exhaled shakily, hand coming to her forehead, “and I know you don’t want to deal with this— with me. You should go.” 
Wordlessly, Tsukishima shut the door behind him gently as he asked, “what happened?”
“Great I’ll— I’m sorry what?” Y/N tilted her head the boy, confusion flooding her as she watched him move towards her and take a seat on the desk across from her. 
“What happened?” Tsukishima repeated, his voice filled with disinterest as he adjusted his glasses. 
Slowly, Y/N shook her head, struggling to find words, “Tsukishima, you don’t have to comfort me or anything, I’m fine, really.” She wouldn’t deny that this seemed... out of character for him, and Y/N had a feeling that he was rather uncomfortable by her outward display of emotions. She was shocked he hadn’t started teasing her yet, simply sitting across from her and awaiting for her to enlighten him as to what happened.
When Y/N didn’t continue, he shifted on the desk, “allow me to rephrase—” Tsukishima cleared his throat, “tell me what happened.” Y/N quickly realized that he wasn’t asking, he was demanding an explanation. 
Y/N opened her mouth, just for her eyes to brim with tears as she looked up at Tsukishima, closing her mouth just to offer him a shrug, “I’m sorry—”
“Stop apologizing, idiot.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Tsukishima found himself grimacing, insults probably weren’t the best way to comfort people, but he didn’t know what else to do as he continued, “you didn’t do anything wrong.”
A laugh escaped Y/N as she rest her face in her hands, shielding her tear-streaked face from Tsukishima’s gaze as she replied, “you don’t know that.”
“Yes I do.” His hands comes to rest on her wrists pulling at them until they’re removed from her face, just for Tsukishima to see Y/N’s eyes brimming with tears, a flicker of shock on his face before he says, “the only thing you’ve ever done wrong is math.” She laughs once more, except this time it seems to be out of actual joy, before exhaling deeply as she met his eyes, opening her mouth just for Tsukishima to say, “I swear if you say sorry one more time.”
He releases her hands, and Y/N can’t help but feel sad due to the loss of contact, though she smiles at his words nonetheless, looking up at him. “Right.” She mumbles, moving off the desk to stand in front of him, “we should go to practice.” She decides not to ask why he’s already there, having a feeling that he wouldn’t tell her even if she did. 
Tsukishima nods, adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder as he follows Y/N to the exit of the classroom, just for her to pause as her hand grips the door knob. “Y/N?” He’s wondering if she’s about to start sobbing again when she releases the door knob in favor of throwing her arms around his neck and pulling his downwards into a hug. The boy finds himself frozen as she hugs him, shock having flooded his system.
When he doesn’t reciprocate the hug immediately, Y/N can’t help but feel her cheeks warm in embarrassment moving to pull away as she spoke, “sorry—”
Tsukishima’s arms suddenly find her waist and pull her closer as he scoffs, “what did I say about apologizing?”
If Tsukishima was honest, he’d heard that Y/N had gotten detention early in the day from one of his classmates, and he’d been shocked. He decided that when the school was at its emptiest would probably be the best time to make his move on the manager of the Karasuno Volleyball Club. Things did not go as planned. 
“Thank you, Tsukki.
But he was pretty okay with this outcome too. 
Tsukishima is silent for a moment, contemplating what to do next before deciding that if there was one thing he’d learned, it’s that food tends to solve most problems amongst members of the Karasuno Volleyball Club. “I’m taking you to get ice cream after practice.” 
“Why?”
“Clearly you need it.” Came his swift response, though Tsukishima had a feeling this wouldn’t convince her to go out with him, deciding to continue with the roll of his eyes, “and I happen to like hanging out with you.”
Y/N pauses, wondering if perhaps she’d heard the boy wrong, because if she hadn’t been mistaken that was almost a compliment. She quickly decides she’ll over-analyze their conversation later as she replies. “It’s a date!” Beaming up at him as she pulled away from the hug, much to Tsukishima’s dismay. Y/N’s cheeks warmed as she realized what she had just said, clearing her throat and looking away. “I mean, its not a date but—”
“No, it is a date.”
Y/N’s head snapped over to his, shock clear on her face as her mouth gaped open, while Tsukishima smirked, hand coming to the door knob. He pulled the door open, using his free hand to push his glasses further up on his face as he spoke, “ladies first.”
Yeah, he liked this outcome.
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A/N: so i was sad and decided if no one else is going to make me feel better than i’ll make myself feel better by writing about a 2D character comforting y/n 
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TAGS: @therainroguefanfiction​ @shawkneecaps​ @beifongsss​
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sweetmotherof · 3 years
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Haikyuu Fics: The Classics™️ (pt 2)
PART 1
I already thought of more, and I didn’t want my first part to be super long, so here is a part 2!! I’ll probably make another couple of parts because I know I missed some. So again, please comment if you have any recommendations for me to add, it’s highly appreciated. Also, just some housekeeping, please mind the tags and go give the authors some love and support!! I hope you guys enjoy!! (My summaries are super bad for this one so just look at the summaries for the work or ask ahah id be happy to elaborate)
*contains nsfw fics, so please read the tags*
⭑=my faves
TSUKKIYAMA
~quick deanpendragon spam (they are the mastermind of tsukkiyama fics read all of their stuff pls)~
campfire in your chest by deanpendragon
M, 74.4k words
This is the classiccccc slowburn, childhood friends to lovers, slowburn through high school fic. With an amazing plot, beautiful writing, and stunning characterization, if you like Tsukkiyama at all, you should literally just read it. It’s just....perfect.
the certain things we lack by deanpendragon⭑
M, 89.6k words
AHHHHHHHH STOP DON’T TALK TO ME IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THIS. no no no it’s so good like should be published good. It’s Kei-centric, and him and Yamaguchi are so <333 ugh i can’t stop. High school au, canon compliant, getting together yeah yeah yeah but the writing is.....i’m speechless it’s so good. Something about it connected with my soul and the writing, i can’t stop the writing is so good. If you like to read, like you just appreciate the art of literature, read this read this read this. 
blue summer sky by deanpendragon⭑
T, 32k words
Deanpendragon, take all of my money. You deserve it after this one because, oh, oh MY GOD it’s so good. Yamaguchi working in a pet store. Tsukishima working in a music store. Right next to each other. STOP READ IT NOW YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. It’s Yamaguchi’s POV and his like stream of thoughts is SO relatable oh my god. It’s too good. This is hands down one of my fave fics so,,,,, u should read it. Also, it’s a series so, thank you for that one.
~~~~
Stoplights by 5yenwish(iamacamera)
E, 48.6k words
Something about Tsukkiyama authors, I would literally ask the president to get you ppl published because JESUS we do not deserve these works for free. I mean, this is just Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, and Karasuno being VULGAR and hilarious, and it’s like,,,,you have to have a certain type of humor to enjoy this. If you don’t like sex jokes AVOID this fic, but I loved this SO MUCH. The writing, ughhhhhh the writing is horrifyingly good. I kinda just really want to pay this author money because you made my life smmm better. On Hiatus tho,, probs forever so <//3 STILL READ IT
MATSUHANA
boiled frogs by reginagalaxia⭑
E, 91.5k words, cw: EMOTIONAL ABUSE, mental health issues that come with that
SAD BOY HOURS ughhh. This fic is so angsty and hurt so bad to read,,,,,,but so,,,,goood. Of course it’s depressing, it’s Hanamaki, Oikawa, and Iwaizumi watching Matsukawa be in an emotionally abusive relationship, all the while Hanamaki is in love with him,,,, eyeroll it’s very hard to watch. But, the writing is amazing, the plot is painful but good, so if you’re considering, you definitely should read.
rated m for by orphan_account
T, 10.6k words
Voice acting au. The most beautiful voice acting au ever. I love Matsukawa and I love Hanamaki, and you should definitely read this because it’s so funny. The writing is so good, the plot is so funny, and I love to laugh my ass off and this fic is funny lol. They act in a BL even though they hate each other. PLS READ IT AHAHHAH.
plus one by orphan_account
G, 6.1k words
This is the cutest lil getting together fic that so adorably fluffy it hurts. If you want to come down from, oh let’s say boiled frogs ahahhaha plug (look above lol), this fic will literally rot your insides with how cute it is. It’s quick, easy, and a fun time at a wedding, so if you just want some matsuhana for bedtime or something like that (?? what am i saying lol) then I definitely recomeend this one.
DAISUGA
Open Tab by Mooifyourecows⭑
E, 541.5k words, cw: anxiety, breakdowns (not that bad, but some parts made me feel a bit on edge so I thought I’d let u all know)
The longest fic I’ve read, and worth every second. I BINGED this mf, like in a couple of days lol and it’s so good. Artist Suga, bartender Daichi, gay panic and basically all of the other main haikyuu characters lol,,,,, read it if that sounds interesting. I think this is probably the staple Haikyuu longfic, so you should definitely check it out at one point or another. Also, it’s SO funny and the writing is rlly good. Oh, and it’s a SLOW BURNNN.
bell, book, and candle by skittidyne
M, 762.9k words, cw: blood, swearing, violence, minor body horror, death, anxiety/anxiety attacks/panic attack (part of the author’s warning)
I’ve seen so many people recommend this one, so I thought I’d include it in this recommendation, even though it’s focused around a lot of the ships, not just daisuga. It’s a supernatural hunter fic, and even just the summary is super captivating and interesting. If you like fantasy, mythology, or anything of the demons and magic sort, you should definitely check this one out. There is also some ~~magical~~ romance.
Cardboard Castles by valiantarmor
M, 18k words, cw: homophobia, mental strain that comes with homelessness
For the sake of your guys’ brains, I included this shorter fic that you could definitely complete in a short amount of time. Basically, this is about coffee barista Daichi, and how he meets Suga, who is secretly homeless. And romance blooms, of course. I definitely recommend this one if you want a short, kind of angsty, but happy ending read.
KYOUHABA
Police Dog by surveycorpsjean⭑
E, 34.9k words
This fic is so so sooo good. I usually stray away from like shifter, werewolf type fics, but this one handles the trope so so so well. I love the kyouhaba dynamic and this fic exemplifies it without making it too cliche. The premise of the fic is Kyoutani is a dog shifter and Yahaba is a police officer. I really had a great time reading this and I definitely think that you should check it out ahhah.
Close to the Chest by darkmagicalgirl
T, 61.1k words, cw: HOMOPHOBIA LIKE BAD (not violent but very internalized and prevalent) 
Yahaba and his self-acceptance journey,,,,ughhhh im crying. This fic is vvvery emotional and filled with angsty self-hatred that makes me :(((. but BUT its worth it because watching him grow :’) and find love in Kyoutani. it’s very warm and happy at the end. If you want a CLASSIC coming of age set in high school and very gay so <33 pls check it out. The plot and writing are really well done and it is a work of art srsly.
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buckmepapi · 2 years
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I hate scrolling through the comments on part one of scream for me because it’s people asking to be tagged. It’s like they IGNORED the entire paragraph before the story even started explaining that you don’t do tag lists (AND the comment you left). If it irks me I can only imagine what you feel. I don’t know, maybe you are a better person than me but it pisses me off. Anyway, I am SO excited for part 2!!
Thank god someone else has noticed. It pisses me the fuck off
Every post I make I say I don’t do taglists so stop asking, like stop being so fucking lazy, just follow my library and turn on notifications and it will do the exact same fucking thing that a taglist would do, it will literally notify you lmao
Plus all these random accounts who comment that, don’t even reblog the fic they want to be tagged in so why should I tag someone who’s that selfish lmao
Like the shits highlighted in red and boldened how more clear do I need to be.
Im gonna have to put it in all caps at the start and end of the posts or I’ll make a comment threatening people with blocks if they can’t listen, I’m sick and tired of it, my shit gets spammed constantly with it and I’m just gonna start blocking people who ask
I’m definitely not a better person bc I’m deffo at the stage where I will tell people to go fuck themselves and block them HAHAH
I’m glad you enjoyed the first part !! Hopefully I can get around to finishing the second part I have written up 😎
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crystalninjaphoenix · 3 years
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Puzzles & Pleas
A JSE Fanfic
A new part whoooo! As I’m writing this description I’m very tired so I’m not sure what to say. We’re basically following up directly from the last part, like literally only a few hours later. Chase and Marvin are having a nice visit with Jack, and at the exact same time, their other three friends are having a variety of bad times with Anti. Fun fun fun! Well, not for the characters, but probably for us. Enjoy :)
You can find the other stories under the pw timeline tag!
“You look nervous.”
“I’m not.”
“I mean, it’s understandable if you are—”
“I’m not fucking nervous, Chase.”
The elevator doors opened, forcibly stopping the brief exchange. Chase stepped out onto the third floor, glancing back over his shoulder at Marvin. “Well, if you were, I was just gonna say it’s okay to be. Now c’mon.”
Marvin hesitated. Despite what his protests would indicate, he did look rather anxious. He kept twisting the edge of his shirt around. But he took a moment to steady himself and followed Chase out of the elevator, saying nothing.
“It’s just the same room,” Chase said, gesturing down the hospital hallway. “Let’s go.”
They walked in silence for a while, passing by closed doors, each with a room beyond. Chase kept looking back towards Marvin. This would probably be the first time he’d left his house in a couple weeks, something that Chase knew from experience wasn’t good for your health. Marvin looked fine, physically. His hair was combed and pulled back in a ponytail, his shirt and pants neat. But he just seemed...not as energetic. If that made sense. Hopefully, this would be good for him.
They soon reached the room they were looking for. Chase was about to knock on the door when Marvin suddenly asked, “Do you think he’ll be mad at me?”
Chase blinked. Then laughed, in an effort to lighten the mood. “Why would he be mad at you?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I hardly ever went to visit him.” Marvin continued to twist the hem of his shirt. “A-and I haven’t seen him at all since he woke up.”
“Marv. Trust me. Jack wouldn’t be mad at you for something like that.” Chase instinctively went to pat him on the back, but Marvin leaned away, so he dropped it and settled for a reassuring smile. “He’s not that type of guy.”
“Would he be...disappointed?” Marvin asked tentatively.”I-I don’t want to make him feel bad, he probably has enough to deal with—”
“It’s going to be alright, Marvin. Jack knows you didn’t mean to hurt him by not visiting. And besides, you’re visiting now, aren’t you? So it all works out.” Chase waited for Marvin to say more, but he just nodded, breathing out slowly. “Alright, we’re gonna go in now, okay?” Marvin nodded again, and Chase knocked on the door before slowly opening it. “Hello? It’s me.”
Jack turned to look towards the door. The moment he saw Chase, he smiled, and reached to the side and adjusted the controls of the bed to a sitting position. “Hii Shhays.”
“Hey bro. Look, I brought a friend.” Chase stepped into the room, allowing Marvin to take his place in the doorway.
Marvin froze for a moment. He stared at Jack, taking in the bed, the wires, the oxygen tube. Then he waved. “Um...hi.”
“Mahfin!” Jack grinned even wider. “‘S good t’see yuh!” He waved Marvin over.
“Ha. Y-yeah, good to see you, too.” Marvin stepped inside. “Oh, uh, d’you want this open?”
“S’fffine.”
“Alright, then.” He closed the door.
“Hey, c’mon, Marv, sit down.” Chase walked over to the side of the bed, indicating one of the nearby chairs. “Get comfy in the plastic hospital chair.”
Marvin laughed, and followed Chase over to the bed. They both sat, and Jack leaned over to pick up his communication board from the nearby table. He pointed to the How are you? box. 
“Eh. We’re alright, I guess,” Chase said, glancing at Marvin.
“I...well, I’ve been...” Marvin stopped, the words getting caught in his throat. “It’s fine, though. Probably nothing compared to what you’re going through.”
Jack frowned. It was a small, awkward gesture, something his facial muscles were still having trouble with. He indicated the I don’t think so box.
“What’s that s’posed to mean?” Marvin asked, confused.
“It means he’s doubting you,” Chase explained. Jack nodded.
“Well, I mean...it’s fine,” Marvin said slowly. “Honestly, I’d rather talk about you. Like, how are you doing? What are you doing? It can’t be too fun being stuck in here.”
Jack still looked unsure, but he shook his head, and tapped a box labeled I agree.
“You’ve got a TV in here now, though,” Chase said, pointing to the corner. A big box television sat on top of a wheeled cart. “It looks like the ones they used to bring into classrooms in elementary school, y’know?”
Marvin and Jack just stared at him. “I think that’s an American thing,” Marvin said. “Or at least, something that wasn’t common where we were from.”
“Ah. Well, they did it all the time. A couple classrooms had them bottled to the ceilings in the corner and you watched movies on it, but you were always too far away to see it properly.” Chase laughed a bit. “But still, there’s probably only so much TV you can take.”
Jack groaned, rolling his eyes. He emphatically tapped the I agree box.
Marvin smiled a bit. “Well, don’t you have hospital stuff to do? Like, examinations and shit?”
Jack pointed to the Yes box. “Therrs...th’rapy. Lotta it.”
“Yeah, like speech therapy, physical therapy, probably a million other kinds.” Chase nodded. “Oh, speaking of which, you sound much better! Good job, bro.”
“Thnkss.” Jack smiled a bit.
“Y’know, I did some, uh...I don’t know if it was physical therapy exactly, but I did some exercises as a kid,” Marvin recalled. “Because I was severely uncoordinated. Tripped over my own feet to the point Grandmam was worried about it.” He paused. “I don’t know what I mean by that. I guess I’m just saying I relate a bit. It’s probably not the same thing, though.”
“Nnoh, ‘sfine,” Jack assured him. “I geddid. Ah.” He made a face. “I. Get. It.”
“Good, then.” For a moment, there was just silence. It stretched long enough to get awkward, and just when Chase was about to change the subject, Marvin blurted out, “I’m sorry I never came to see you, Jack.”
Jack blinked. “Hm?”
“Well I did but—it wasn’t that often. A-and not since you woke up, and I’m really sorry about it, it’s just—I’ve been having...a...moment.” Marvin clenched his fists as he tried to find the words. Sign language wouldn’t work here; Jack couldn’t understand it. So he was stuck with verbal speech. Not always his strong suit. “You know, when you have...a moment? When it’s hard to do anything because you...don’t...really...feel like anything?” Chase nodded encouragingly, and Marvin took a deep breath. “It’s not because I didn’t want to come see you. I really did, I-I’m really happy you’re awake again! It’s just...my fault. I put it off for so long, and then I got nervous about it, like, that it would be weird to suddenly show up and start talking like nothing had happened—I-I do that a lot, y’know, that’s why I don’t really talk to anyone besides you guys—and it’s not you, it’s me, and I’m sorry.” He finished with a rush and then stopped, waiting, his posture stiff and tense.
Jack was quiet for a moment. Then, he leaned closer, reaching out and putting a hand on top of Marvin’s own. “Mahfin...Mmmahrf...Marrrfvin.” For a moment, he looked frustrated at his inability to pronounce his friend’s name properly, but then he took a deep breath, and moved on. “Mahrfin. ‘S not...yoh fahlt. Thin’s happen. ‘S alright. ‘M happy t’see yuh—yyou. Yohr herre now. An’ tha’s what’s...i-im....important.” And he smiled.
Marvin’s face swelled with a mix of emotions. Relief, hesitancy, joy. It brought tears to his eyes. “You’re sure?”
“Yeh. O’courrrse.”
“I...good. That’s...good.” Marvin wiped his eyes. “Y’know...if you’re having trouble, you could just call me Muffin or something, for the time being.”
Jack laughed. “Shurr, Maffin.”
The moment was interrupted by a faint buzzing sound. Chase jumped a bit, feeling something vibrate in his pocket. “Oh, uh, sorry guys.” He took out his phone, face turning red with embarrassment as the other two watched him. “I didn’t think anyone would be calling me.” He glanced at the screen. “Huh. I don’t recognize the number.”
“It’s probably spam,” Marvin dismissed.
“Maybe. Or it could be important. Like, the kids are in school now, what if their teacher’s calling?” Chase hesitated. “I’ll just—just see if it is spam, really quick.” He tapped the Accept button and pressed the phone to his ear. “Hello? Who’s this?”
—————— 
He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. Something was squeezing his chest, his lungs—something was inside him, it was—no, no it wasn’t. This was panic. That had to be the explanation. He had to calm down, and—and do...something.
Schneep had woken up a few minutes ago. It took him a while to remember what happened before that. How someone had been in his room. No...not just someone. He knew—it was him, it was—there was no escape, there had never been any escape—
Okay. Calm down. Breathe. Focus on the facts. He was lying on the floor. In a strange room that he didn’t recognize. Near the wall. And he wasn’t alone. But he couldn’t focus on that fact now, it just made it hard to breathe again, thinking about being watched, being stared at, being—stop. Calm. Breathe.
Maybe if he looked around, it would help. But there wasn’t much to see in the room. The walls were dark gray, the floor was rough white carpet. There was a circular black rug in the middle. And a window with blinds. Besides those features, the only thing of note in the room was...a desk. And its chair, with someone sitting in it. But he didn’t want to look towards that. What about...the window? Was there anything outside?
He hesitated, and briefly glanced back towards the desk. It looked like the chair’s occupant was busy, attention fully focused on the computer monitors on the desk’s surface. But he knew he was still being watched. Perhaps...if he moved slowly, then it wouldn’t be too strange? It would be natural?
Deciding that was worth a shot, Schneep cautiously sat up. His head was still a bit dizzy, and heavy, too. He grimaced, then glanced out the window. The glass was a bit dirty, and looked unusually...thick, if that made sense. Outside, he could see a street corner, and houses. This room was in a house like that, then? And it was at an intersection, with a pair of street signs marking the roads that crossed here. Unfortunately, he couldn’t make out the street names this far away without his glasses. But one of them had some graffiti on it, a spray-painted square with a diamond inside it, and a black dot inside that. It might’ve been more elaborate than that, but again, he couldn’t quite make out the details.
“I see you.”
Schneep yelped, pressing against the wall as he turned to look towards the desk. Anti. He’d turned around in his desk chair and was staring at him now. Staring with those mismatched eyes that haunted his nightmares.
“Enjoying the view?” Anti nodded towards the window. “Sorry, not much to see. Nothing particularly helpful. Especially since you can’t read the street signs from this distance without your glasses.”
He knew what he was thinking?! Was he in his head again?! Schneep squeezed his eyes shut, shook his head, and opened them again. No, that wasn’t true. Anti was human, he’d never read his mind, humans couldn’t do that.
“What? Do you think you’re safe up here?” Anti tapped the side of his head and grinned. “Don’t be so sure. You’re so easy to—”
“Shut up, you are lying,” Schneep interrupted. “You—you cannot do that anymore. I know it’s a trick.”
“You don’t know anything,” Anti said, still grinning. “Because I’ve been watching you. I know you’ve heard me. And I know you’ve told others about me. Don’t you remember what I said about that? The more people know about me, the stronger I become.”
“That is more lies,” Schneep insisted, pressing his back to the wall. 
“I’ve never lied to you. And I’m not about to start now. I’ve been watching you. I know you’ve seen my shadow in the corners, and my eyes in the ceilings.”
“How do you know about that?!” Schneep shrieked.
“Because I sent them, of course. To keep an eye on you, make sure you didn’t break any rules.” Anti sighed dramatically and shook his head. “I hoped it wouldn’t be needed, but I thought, better safe than sorry. And it turns out I was right.”
Schneep pressed his hands to his ears, trying to block out Anti’s words. They had to be lies. He knew that Anti wasn’t some supernatural creature, he was just a man. Anti had to be guessing about the things he saw. Though...how did he guess about the eyes in the ceilings? Schneep couldn’t remember telling him about them, and that had to be a fairly specific hallucination. Maybe he really...? No, there had to be another explanation.
Anti laughed, and Schneep flinched at the sound. His eyes darted around the room once more. There was a door, but it was on the other side of the room, and he was willing to bet it was locked. Same with the window. He could try to break the window, but there was nothing to break it with. Unless he wanted to try and grab one of the computer monitors and throw it through the glass, but he knew he’d be overpowered if he tried.
“That’s right, you’ve got no way out,” Anti said, leaning back. “You’re lucky I haven’t tied you to a chair or anything. The only reason I haven’t done that is because you know it’s hopeless, anyway. Unlike certain others...wearing red jackets.”
Schneep felt a chill pass over him. Jackie. Of course. Anti still had him captive. “I-it’s different, now,” Schneep protested weakly. “They know about you, a-and me, and that we are not the same. They will be trying to rescue me this time.”
“Probably,” Anti admitted. He grabbed something off the desk and stood up, approaching. Schneep’s eyes widened, and he pressed further into the wall, pulling his legs and arms close. “That is, they’ll be trying a search and rescue as long as they think I’m involved.” Anti stopped, standing over Schneep, and leaned down. “So here’s what’s going to happen.” He showed him the thing he’d grabbed from the desk: a phone. “You’re going to call the lovely Dr. Laurens and tell her you left on your own.”
“What...wh-why would I do that?” Schneep stammered.
“Because you got scared. Because you didn’t feel safe in that hospital. Because you told her you saw Anti in the hospital rec room, and you think that he’s real, and that he can come after you.” Anti smiled. “It’s built on truth, isn’t it? Because you told her you saw me, didn’t you?”
Schneep stared at him in disbelief. He had told Laurens about seeing Anti in the rec room. At the time, he thought it was just him seeing things, but...had it been real? The whole time? And how did Anti know he’d told Laurens about that?
Because he hears your thoughts. He can twist them to control you.
No! No, that wasn’t real. But...the idea still lingered.
“What are you waiting for?” Anti held out the phone, staring at him. Staring, staring, staring. Always staring.
Schneep swallowed a sudden lump in his throat. “..okay. I will call her.”
Anti didn’t say anything as he took the phone, still watching him as he dialed the phone number. Schneep tried not to think about it too much as he held the phone to his ear and listened to the call connect.
The other end rang for a long time, and Schneep swiftly grew afraid that nobody would pick up. But just when he thought it would hang up, the ringing stopped. “Hello? Who’s this?”
“Um. Hello.” Schneep reminded himself to breathe. “It’s me, it is—well, you can probably tell by the voice.” The voice that was shaking quite a bit.
“What the f—Schneep?!” The voice on the other end shouted in disbelief. “Why are you calling me?! No, wait, how are you calling me? I thought you weren’t allowed to have a phone there.”
“No, I—there is—something has happened,” Schneep said carefully. “I-I am not at Silver Hills anymore.”
“Well then where the hell are you?!”
“I am...I am somewhere...else,” Schneep said slowly.
“Yeah, where?”
Anti narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Get to the point,” he hissed.
Schneep froze for a moment. He needed to speak freely. “It’s because of—of him,” he said carefully. “You know who I mean, yes?”
“You mean...Anti?” The other end went silent for a minute. “Schneep where are you? Can you tell me, give me a clue or something? I-I’ll call the police, but if you could tell me anything—”
Anti frowned. “Put it on speaker,” he said.
Schneep’s heart sank. Impossible. Anti would immediately know that he hadn’t called the right person. He had to do something drastic. “Er ist es, er hat mich mitgenommen,” he said, speaking quickly. “Ich weiß nicht wo ich bin.” Anti’s eyes widened, and he lunged forward. Schneep cried out, and rolled to the side, just avoiding him. “Ich weiß nicht wo ich bin! Ein Haus an einer Straßenecke—Ich kenne die Straßennamen nicht! Das Schild hat Graffiti, es ist ein Kreis in einem Diamanten in einem Quadrat—”
“You little—!” Anti grabbed Schneep’s wrist and twisted the phone out of his hand.
“Bitte komm—!” Schneep didn’t manage to get the rest of the sentence out before—
Smack!
He fell to the side, half of his face suddenly alight in pain. For a moment, he was too dazed to respond properly. Then Anti grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him upward. He instantly started struggling.
“You worthless little fucker,” Anti hissed, grabbing a handful of Schneep’s hair and pulling his head backwards. “Can’t believe you did that. Fuck. You deserved that. Your friend’s gonna have worse for that stunt you just pulled.”
“N-no!” Schneep gasped. “Leave him alone!”
“No, you know the rules. You know how this works.” Anti glared at him. “You’ve just gotten cocky. So you need a reminder.”
Schneep felt a tear trickle from his eye. He hoped that call was worth it.
—————— 
“Schneep?! Henrik?! Are you there?!” Chase shouted into the phone, but got no response. There’d been a rustling sound, like a struggle, then Schneep had shouted, and then there was—there was another sound, a sound he’d most often heard when his kids would fight each other, and he had to scold them. That sound was a lot more sinister in this context. Especially considering the call had apparently dropped after it. “Fuck!”
“What happened?!” Marvin asked, shaken by the half of the conversation he’d heard. “Was that really—?”
“H-hang on, I’m gonna call his doctor first,” Chase said. He hurried to dial the number for Dr. Laurens, misdialing at first because of his rush and entering it a second time.
The call was picked up surprisingly quickly. “Chase? Is that you?” Laurens’s voice came through loud and clear.
“Yeah, it’s me. Listen doc, is...is Schneep okay?” Chase didn’t know how else to ask.
“Is he—oh, Chase,” Laurens said softly. “I was just about to call you. We...we don’t know where he is.”
“You...don’t know where he is?” Chase repeated, feeling the bottom of his stomach dropping out. He heard Marvin gasp, and saw him squeeze Jack’s hand, who was now sitting up as straight as he could. “What do you mean?”
“He never showed up to dinner. When Oliver went to check on his room, he wasn’t there. We’ve been searching the building and the grounds, but he’s nowhere to be seen. I thought—since you’re his friend, a-and his emergency contact—wait a minute.” Laurens stopped, realizing something. “Why are you asking?”
“Because he just called me,” Chase explained. “From some number I didn’t recognize. He said that—he said that Anti took him.”
“Shit,” Laurens cursed. “Chase, I need you to hang up right now and call the police. We’ll keep searching the nearby area, just in case. I-I’ll call you if we find him.”
“Y-yeah. Okay. And I’ll call you again after I talk to the cops.”
“Great. Go do that.”
“I’m doing it. Talk to you later.” Chase hung up.
“So he just disappeared?!” Marvin whispered harshly. “Just—just like that night.” He glanced over at Jack.
“Wh’s happennin’?” Jack asked, his features drawn.
“You guys heard that call, right? Henrik called me, h-he was speaking...haltingly, I think, with a lot of pauses, I think that’s the word.” Chase squeezed his phone case. “Then he freaked out and started shouting in German—I bet because Anti can’t speak it.”
“What did he say?!” Marvin demanded.
“I don’t know all of it, it’s been a while since I—give me a second.” Chase opened up a translation app on his phone and quickly typed in a few words, trying his best to match the spelling of the things he thought Schneep had said. He had to fill in the gaps. “Okay. He said that Anti took him, and that he didn’t know where it was, but it was a house on a street corner. He couldn’t see the street names, but mentioned some sort of like...graffiti? On the sign? A circle in a diamond in a square.”
Jack’s head shot upward, and he cried out.
“What?! What is it?!” Marvin leaned forward, checking all the wires and monitors.
“Nn—noh that!” Jack clumsily pushed him back. “That sss...ssymmbel. Know it.”
“Wh—you recognize the symbol?!” Chase repeated in disbelief. “Square-diamond-circle?!”
Jack nodded. “H-he...fffakes. Th’ fakes, th’ one...prtendinn tuh be yuh two. I...rmemmber now.”
“Huh?” Marvin asked, utterly confused.
“Right, you don’t know,” Chase realized. “Jack, he—he’s said some stuff about fake versions of us visiting him. Anti, in disguise. I-I know, I ran into him pretending to be you one time, and I heard about an imposter me from Dr. Emerson another time. Apparently Anti talked to him, said some freaky stuff.” He gasped. “You mean—he told you about this symbol?”
“Symmbl. Symbel to...to haf others recogniss him.” Jack pressed his hands to his forehead and leaned forward. “Put outssside...places he...h-has? I don’...don’ rmemrrr.” He fell silent, squeezing his eyes shut. “On a sighhn...steet signnn...ffahk. Fahk!”
“I’m gonna call the police,” Chase said, already dialing 999. “I’m gonna tell them everything, a-and meanwhile, try to remember anything else.”
Jack nodded, eyes still shut. Marvin squeezed his shoulder, an anchor to the physical world. He could hear Chase’s voice relaying what happened over the phone, but the words were indistinct as he tried to concentrate on his memory. Everything was all mixed up and blurred. None of it made sense most of the time. He remembered hearing voices, but he wasn’t sure when it was Chase, when it was this Anti, or when it was just a dream. But he’d definitely heard that description of a symbol before. When...when had he...when...when......?
——————
......
...
“It’s a calling card. Or a warning, if you want to think of it that way...simplified version of my...”
...
The man had no eyes. Or maybe he was just missing one eye. A blank, dark spot in the middle of a white face. He looked like a friend, but that dark spot was wrong. It told him it was a lie.
“Most people don’t know what it means exactly, only that it’s trouble. The area...claimed.”
And the voice was wrong. It...it sounded a bit like his own, actually? Was this...him?
Was that why he couldn’t move? Why he couldn’t look away?
“...outside safe houses, where I store my...and other equipment. They’re also secondary bases. Just in case...never know in this line of work. I don’t want...caught. Living...prison...just be the worst. You have no control.”
The man was smiling. His teeth stretched...his skin was melting. He—he couldn’t understand. What was happening? Who...was this man...? Was he him? Who are you? Who am I? Are we the same? I can’t understand. Something...something is broken up here. My thoughts...they’re scattering. Like throwing paper in a bowl of water, watching it soak it up, then stirring violently. Everything came apart.
“I’m never going to let anyone control me. No. I am in control. Everyone else...my little puppets. I like watching the shows.”
The white ceiling and walls were burning his eyes. It was curving, like a bubble. They were in a bubble. He was floating. He couldn’t feel anything.
“...times I worry about you telling people. But then I—” Laugh. Laugh. Laugh. “I remember you’re a veggie. People rarely wake...after something so severe. So...doesn’t matter. Maybe you can hear me. Maybe you can’t. Doesn’t...”
Green line. Up and down. Up and down. Crossing the man’s face. Cutting him in half.
“Why am I even doing this?”
Green light. Everything is green.
“I don’t even know. It’s a waste of time, a waste of resources, and a risk. Maybe...need it? I’ve never talked so freely. Not even to Jamie. He...a kid, you know. Always will be.”
Light is gone. Everything is black.
“...it doesn’t really matter what I say. I can tell you about the marks outside the houses. Ha. Hell, I can even tell you where they are. Like, for example, on the corner of—”
——————
Jack’s eyes flew open. “Ah!”
“Wh—?!” Marvin jumped a bit. “Jack?”
“Th’ steet! Strreet! Is—is—” Now the problem was just getting his mouth to form the sounds properly. “Ay...airrr...loom.”
Marvin blinked. “Air loom?”
“Hhay. Hhhhair loom.”
“Oh, heirloom? I don’t know that street, uh...” Marvin turned to look at Chase. “Did you catch that?”
Chase nodded in response, still on the phone, then returned to his conversation with the emergency line. “Um—maybe try on one of the corners of Heirloom Drive? My friend thinks that might be it.” A brief pause. “Uh, I don’t know.” And he looked over at Jack, pulling the phone away a bit. “Hey bro, do you...remember the other street? It’s at an intersection, right?”
Jack closed his eyes again. But this time, the memory wouldn’t even come to him. “No.”
“That’s fine.” Chase returned to the phone. “My friend doesn’t know, but on the phone call he said—my other friend—said that there was some sort of graffiti on the sign, that was a uhh square around a diamond around a circle. That probably helps right?” He paused. “No, I don’t think he’d see them. He’s near-sighted, and I don’t think he has his glasses. That probably means that the graffiti description is pretty vague, but it’s an idea.” Another pause. “Yeah, that’s it. Oh, wait, uh...I think Detective Nix was involved in this case? Can you tell him?” And another. “Yeah, his name’s Henrik.” And one last, long pause. “Alright, thank you ma’am. I’ll wait.” And he hung up, letting out a long exhale.
“It—it’s going to be fine, right?” Marvin asked anxiously. “They’ll find him?”
“It might take a while, but I think so,” Chase replied. “God...Hey, uh, Jack? You’re sure about this?”
Jack thought about it, then nodded slowly, head bobbing. That memory was a bit weird, but Dr. Emerson told him it was common to have dream-like memories, with everything that had happened to him. He was confident that the conversation was real. He couldn’t forget the times Anti came to visit, just because of how deeply unnerving his words always were.
“Alright. Well, they’re going to call me to update me on what happens,” Chase said. “Uh...not sure how long this’ll take. Visiting hours might end before they sort everything out.”
“Mm.” Jack shrugged. He picked up the communication board again—he’d just done a lot of talking, and needed a moment—and pointed to the I’m okay box.
“You sure?”
Yes box.
“Well we’re not leaving until they kick us out,” Marvin asserted, folding his arms. “If they call us back, you need to hear it. You just helped out a fuckton.”
Jack smiled, a bit lopsidedly. Thank you box.
Chase laughed, but it quickly faded. He looked down at the phone in his hand, already anticipating the call. “I guess...we just wait now.”
——————
There were footsteps passing by outside the room. At first, Jameson had tensed, waiting for the door to open and Anti to walk inside. But that didn’t happen. They just kept passing back and forth. You hear those, right? JJ asked.
Jackie didn’t respond, so JJ looked back over at him. He was lying on the bottom bed of the bunk and staring up, eyes glazed. Something he’d been doing quite a lot, JJ noticed. When he asked about it, Jackie always said he was daydreaming, which would be fine normally, but JJ was pretty sure that he was doing it too much. Well, he couldn’t blame him. But still, it would be nice if Jackie would look at him when he was signing.
Jameson walked over and, after a moment’s hesitation, shook Jackie’s shoulder. He blinked, made an odd gesture like he was asking someone to wait, then looked at JJ. “What?”
Have you been hearing the footsteps outside? JJ asked.
“Huh? Oh, uh, sorry. No. I wasn’t really paying attention,” Jackie admitted. “What do they sound like?”
Like someone’s running up and down a hallway outside, JJ described.
“Really? Well...I mean, I can’t really think of anyone but Anti who’d be doing that.” Jackie’s face scrunched up in thought. “Maybe he’s...doing something? I dunno. Running, though...it must be important.”
Jameson frowned. That was a good point, why would Anti be running about? I’m going to try to look outside, he said, walking over to the door.
“Look outside?” Jackie sat up, turning so he was on the edge of the bed. “You mean, through the gap?”
JJ nodded. He got down on his hands and knees and pressed his head to the floor, peering through the gap under the door. Nothing much to see. He got to his knees and was about to stand up...when he heard the footsteps again. Wanting to see what happened as they passed by the door, he quickly peered through the gap between the door and the doorframe. The steps were approaching—
Then the door slammed open, directly into Jameson’s face. He cried out as he fell, clasping his hands to his face.
“Oh my god, Jamie?! I’m so sorry!” Anti covered his mouth, staring down at him in shock. “It was an accident, I didn’t expect you to—are you okay?!”
Jameson didn’t answer. His face was in pain, and his nose in particular was throbbing. He pulled one hand away and saw it covered in blood, felt it trickling from his nostrils and soaking into his mustache.
“Shit. Fuck! I-it’ll be fine, I can—i-is it broken?” Anti bent over, grabbing Jameson’s head and trying to inspect the damage. But Jameson pulled away, waving at him to get back. “Hey, I just—okay, fine. This isn’t the time. We can look at it later.” Anti took his phone out of his pocket and checked the clock. “We need to go.”
Go? Did he say go? As in, they were leaving? Jameson stood up, keeping one hand on his face, trying and failing to stop the bleeding from getting everywhere. Why did they have to leave? More importantly, why was Anti trying to move the two of them? Unless...something happened that meant he had to move them. Like...the police coming. At that thought, Jameson started backing away.
“Jamie, this isn’t a joke, we need to leave now.” Anti insisted.
Jameson shook his head. He glanced over his shoulder at Jackie. Judging by the wide-eyed expression on his face, he’d come to the same conclusion as him. It was strange to see the glimmer of hope in his eyes. And that thought made Jameson’s heart hurt.
“Are you going to—?! Fuck, I don’t have time for this.” Anti rubbed his eyes, then adjusted the strap of the bag hanging off his shoulder. He stared at Jameson for a moment. Then followed his line of sight over to Jackie. For a moment, he hesitated, thinking about something. And then he made a decision. “Okay, fine.” Anti pushed past Jameson, reaching into his bag as he did so. He grabbed Jackie, yanking him upwards to a standing position, and pressed a knife to his neck.
Jameson gasped. “A-an!”
“I’m going to kill him,” Anti said calmly. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I can’t handle three of you after all. And he’s the most useless.”
“A...aan.” Jameson shook his head slowly. He didn’t dare to take a step forward. Jackie had looked terrified when Anti grabbed him, but the moment he said he was going to kill him, all emotion seemed to drain out of him. Now he was slumped, eyes blank, not there at all. Please, Jameson simply signed.
Anti looked him in the eyes. “The only way you can convince me not to is if you come with me right now.”
Oh.
So...that was the plan.
Jameson wasn’t sure why he wasn’t more shocked. No...no, actually, he knew why. But somehow, it surprised him to feel this lack of...well, surprise.
But in any case, he couldn’t let Jackie die. Alright, he signed slowly. I’ll go with you.
“Good. Follow me.”
Anti walked out of the room, right through the door, and Jameson followed behind him, quietly. He tried to catch Jackie’s eye, but Jackie wasn’t paying attention to anything at all. He just let Anti pull him along with the blade at his throat.
They went down a hallway and arrived in another, which they then walked down to arrive at a door. Anti pushed it open with his shoulder, and then they were in a small backyard, hardly more than a strip of grass. Jameson glanced at the neighboring houses, but they looked empty. But...maybe someone could see them? Maybe someone would call the police, if they hadn’t already been called.
There was a car parked in the gap between their house and one of the neighbors. It didn’t have anything distinct about it, a simple, gray, four-door car. But the trunk was a bit open. Jameson caught a glimpse of some sort of suitcase—maybe multiple suitcases—before Anti kicked the lid closed. “Stupid boot,” he muttered. “Jameson, get in the passenger side. Leave the door open.”
Well, he didn’t have much of a choice, did he? Jameson walked around to the passenger side and got in, sitting stiffly on the edge of the seat. He wiped his face, clearing up blood from his nosebleed.
“Good.” Anti nodded once. He then shifted his knife to his other hand, still keeping it pointed at Jackie, and used his other to rummage around in his bag until he pulled out a small bottle. He popped the lid open. “Hold out your hand.” When Jameson did, Anti shook a few small pills out of the bottle and into his palm. “Swallow three of those.”
That was the part that got Jameson to finally say something. Or, try to, at least. “A-annn? Yuh...c-c-cannn’...beee sss—”
“Don’t do this, Jamie,” Anti said through gritted teeth. “I know what you’re trying to do. Just eat them, okay?” He put the bottle back in his bag and switched the knife between hands again. He pressed it firmly into Jackie’s neck, causing a drop of blood to trickle down from where the blade met skin.
Jameson nodded, and hurriedly threw the pills in his mouth. Anti watched him closely, making sure they were eventually swallowed. “Good,” he said again. Then he closed the car door. Immediately, Jameson heard the clunk of the lock. He was expecting that...but he wasn’t expecting Anti to walk back towards the back door they’d come from, taking Jackie with him.
“Hhh—!” Jameson pressed his face and hands to the window. “Aaaan! N-nuh!” He banged a fist against the glass. “Nnnuh! Nn—n-n-no!” He screamed. But Anti didn’t even look towards him as he disappeared back into the house with Jackie.
He tried pulling at the door, but of course, found it useless. And looking around the inside showed there wasn’t a way to open the car from the inside. That was probably a safety hazard, but Jameson was willing to bet that Anti had the car modified. He spun around in his seat, looking for anything that would be of help in the back. But there was nothing. Except for...a man. Asleep, sitting in the back seat. Pale skin and brown hair, with a yellow-purple bruise forming on his cheek. Jameson was confused for a moment, until he noticed the plastic medical bracelet around the man’s wrist and remembered. That was Henrik, wasn’t it? Schneep? He hadn’t recognized him. Of course, they’d only met once, and Schneep had spent most of it freaking out, thinking that Jameson was Anti. He looked unharmed, but he was clearly unconscious, and therefore couldn’t help them get out of the car.
Frustrated, Jameson started kicking at the door, leaning back to build up as much force as possible. He tried hitting the window. But it felt as solid as the actual door. This went on for a few moments, until he saw the back door opening again. And Anti came back outside. Alone.
That made him stop, fear shooting through his heart.
Soon, Anti sat down in the driver’s seat. “Alright, finally,” he said under his breath, glancing up at the dark, early-night sky. “We’ve wasted enough time—”
Smack!
Anti was too surprised to even cry out as Jameson’s fist connected with enough force to whip his head to the side. “Y—you just—” He pressed his hand to his cheek and looked at Jameson in disbelief. “Jamie, you hit me.”
Don’t fucking call me that! Jameson threw his hands in Anti’s face, almost hitting him again. Not after all that! You don’t deserve it! You’re the most horrible person I know!
Anti glanced back towards the house. “He’s not dead.”
Well I don’t trust a word you say!
“Just...” Anti sighed, and rubbed his cheek. “Just go to sleep and be quiet, Jameson.”
Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Jameson seethed. You’d like to have a perfect, quiet, naive kid brother that you can protect and therefore feel good about yourself for once. Well he doesn’t exist. Not one of those words describes me. Jameson turned away. Don’t ever call me your brother again. You make me sick.
Anti didn’t say anything in response, and Jameson refused to even look at him. The car started, then pulled out of the driveway and onto the street.
As the house on the corner faded into the distance, Jameson’s anger lessened, overtaken by the fear and all-consuming worry he’d felt before. He could only hope that Anti wasn’t lying about Jackie. And he didn’t like that. He didn’t like relying on this...person for anything. But, unfortunately, he was at his mercy for the time being.
He had to find a way out. Not now, though. He could already feel the sleeping pills starting to take effect. But as Jameson closed his eyes, he swore that he wouldn’t let Anti be in control of anyone ever again.
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virtuangel · 4 years
Text
bye bye 2020, hello 2021 !!
happy new year everyone!! there’s a lot of people i want to thank for making last year so much more bearable so i tried writing some messages for some of my dearest mutuals this year as well!! (keyword tried because i absolutely cannot put my feelings and thoughts into words. i love you all though and thank you so so so much!!!)
@angelhyunjin : angi!! i know you’re not on here anymore (actually i just found out . i ran to twt to find u as quick as i could!!) but it felt weird not?? putting you on here because you WERE a big part of my year!! i was always excited to chat with you and i rlly rlly loved (still do) seeing your art and your dance covers i can’t believe how talented at both you are!! you are really really lovely and even if it’s been a while i hope you know i still think of you and hope you’re doing well!! this year might have been hard but i hope 2021 will be much nicer to you because you definitely deserve it!! i love you!! 
@cinanamon : stephie!! i think we haven’t talked in a while until we started suddenly bonding over minho but all is well that ends well because now we are the founders of a minho cult and that’s all i could hope for in life i think! we don’t talk that much but seeing your tags in all the minho posts is always a TIME i absolutely love reading them! thank you for being there to lose it over minho, always, but also for being there in general! you are really sweet and i do love to talk to u!! i also know you are a really good writer so i hope 2021 brings you lots of inspiration to write more!! (and i’ll finally catch up on your fics too! hehe) happy new year!! 
@cocogoat : puppy !! i think we haven’t been friends for long actually and that sounds fake because that would mean there was a time i didn’t instinctively check your blog when i woke up in the morning (or the evening let’s be real)?? you are so! adorable and for what!!!!!! i really do love seeing you pop up in my phone notifs and reading your posts even if i dont have any idea what they’re saying half of the time unless it’s dgrp (i cannot believe i have a dgrp friend now. amazing i think i won) u are so funny and so cute and i’m really glad i got to know you because!! you’re such a nice friend that i! love! times can be hard but i hope 2021 is gentle with you because that is! what! you deserve! gentle pats and tight hugs! (maybe that’s why i associate ab6ix’s heaven with you it’s the gentle vibes) <3
@glossiers : miss bri i am in love w u that’s it. no i’m kidding that’s not it i have much more to say . i am in lov w u though #brillie2k21 i think. i think it’s been a surprisingly short time since we’ve actually started talking?? which is kinda crazy if u ask me because?? how the hell did i live my life without screaming BRIIIII whenever i see u on the dash like for real how . that sounds like a life so empty like. that would rlly be missing . something?? anyways u are a dear dear friend that i really really love and i’m sure you know that but i will keep saying it anyway! i’m sure i’m pretty annoying so thanks for putting up with me! and for talking to me! i feel like i’ve said it before but! you are a delight to see on the dash and i lovlovlov talking to u (and sending u pics of my cats, thank u for appreciating them). i still cannot believe u managed to convince yourself i was a hyeongjun stan though. hope i can be convincing enough to clear that up and leave no doubts in your brain this year. anyways i love you and i hope we can continue to be friends and talk even MORE this year!!!!!! happy new year ilu <3
@hwacinth : miss dia my sweet sweet floral nymph real life shirayuki and queen of urls! i am? so so so so so glad that we are friends you literally have my heart it is YOURS i can’t even try to claim it back!! you literally are shirayuki i don’t even know how to elaborate i think it’s just self-explanatory but you are just. such a sweet little sunshine!! it’s like you bring spring everywhere you go!! we could be in a middle of a metaphorical storm but when you appear the skies clear up and flowers bloom wherever you step and i cannot help but smile when i see you online!! thank you so so much for being my little ray of sunshine in these tough times! i hope to see even more of your posts this year!! don’t hesitate to live blog anything you watch in my dms if you feel like you’re posting too much (but i hope you never feel that way because you’re not . love seeing u live post it is absolutely amazing i won’t ever get tired of it)!! happy new year and i love you!! ps only 1 more hour until your birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIA ILUUU <3 I HOPE YOU CAN HAVE A WONDERFUL ONE!! IM SENDING YOU CAKE TELEPATHICALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@hwisgf : sorinaaaa! happy new year!! we don’t talk that much but it is always nice seeing you around! you are vv sweet and i really appreciate that, thank you for taking the time to talk to me sometimes!! you are also probably my only fantasy mutual?? which is terrible on one side because i think everyone should stan sf9 but that’s besides the point . i really do love the fact that i at least have u to talk to abt sf9 if need and i LOVE seeing u in love with hwi it is absolutely amazing. i am forever grateful for all the free hwi pics days too!! <3 i hope 2021 can be a year full of happiness for you!! (also that is also besides the point but @ fnc i want an sf9 cb announcement) ILY!! (and so does hwi)
@inkigayeo : miss vivi galaxy brain happy new year!! we only started talking recently but u do have my heart already!! i hope this year treats you well and that we can get to know each other more and be friends hehe!!!! <3 (my other wish is for u to stop breaking my heart with those fake titles. please . why should san NOT come back explain yourself .)
@jeongcheols : mimi . mimi mimi mimi im literally typing this as u are listening to that ten n dj stage ok now it’s kai ok anyways . ANYWAYS i am loving your sm concert live commentary . criminal is sounding amazing taemin is insane indeed (yes i took a break before coming back to writing this) i truly don’t know what to say?? n i have to keep watching the time so that i can scream HAPPY NEW YEAR into the mic in 14 minutes. but like?? i love you?? like. like for real i don’t know what i would’ve done without you?? also it’s weird writing this for tumblr instead of just in your messages (also i can’t focus with idea playing. idea soty). and i mean. you technically know all of this but like?? i can’t believe we’ve known each other for so long but also such a short time at the same time like. what. thank you for being my bestestest friend and my soulmat i don’t think i would’ve been able to remain sane this year (and last year too honestly) if it wasn’t for you?? thank you for always listening to my incoherent rants and i’m always so sorry for spamming you while you’re asleep i know you must wake up to like 150+ messages with absolutely no connection between them and they’re all just so random i truly don’t know how you manage to not get annoyed and to just stay with me all this time i’m- getting emotional. you had a terrible year, i know it! i really do!! and while it might not be looking too bright right now, i hope the universe hears me and treats you much better in 2021 because!! you deserve so much more!! you deserve the world, really!!! i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i would write more really but like what is there to say literally i’m just (your emoji)) i love you for real;;
@nakyngs : ele <3 happy new year!!!!!! we haven’t talked much this year but i do think of u a lot daily i hope you know that!! and i love u a lot! even if i still need to catch up on all your aus </3 i hope 2021 can be a fun and stress-free year for you!! and we should catch up sometime too!! ps i hope your fish are ok
@ncityzen : dear spring fairy!! i already sent you a new year’s message earlier today like what. 6 hours ago but! once again!! i really do hope you can leave the hard times behind in 2020 and only get the best things possible this new year!! i’m always very happy to see you appear on my dash and curious to see your life updates and your random literature-related mini-rants in the tags they are always very interesting to see!! so! hoping to see even more of that this year <3 i hope you know that i love you and i really care about you!!
@woojjongs : MISS IRI! i am screaming this very loud so hopefully u can hear me all the way in canada! okay i had to leave this one for last because i?? don’t really know how to start i’m just a pink glittery puddle with lil hearts flowing in it that is how i feel towards u right now . how does one think and how does one write down their thoughts coherently give me a second. this is going to be a mess maybe u shouldn’t read it (‘accidentally’ forgets to tag u). just know that i decided to play txt’s wishlist to write this and u might be confused by that but all u need to know is that it means i love you very much. OKAY so miss iri you are . such a wonderful pal i truly don’t know what i would’ve done without you like . it would feel so weird not seeing you around tumblr would be so so so so empty i don’t even think you can begin to imagine how empty i’d feel without you around here ksdjbskbds i absolutely adore you but we already knew that. i’m always super excited to see your gifsets and your nonsense!! be it your love for woojong or u missing lim jimin (play m.. 🔪) or your snoo brainrot or hating literally anyone on smtm or whatever else it might be i love it all!! you are so cute and adorable and talented and sweet and funny i cannot believe you also happen to be the prettiest person on earth too. how does that feel! anyways i love you so so so so so much? i keep telling you to hold back from committing crimes but i absolutely WOULD commit a crime for u i really do adore you!! i mean . how many groups did u make me stan . (ok actually i don’t think there’s that many. but STILL) i know i can be super annoying but thank u for taking the time to chat with me nonetheless!! i’m all over the place but . there’s times i come online literally just to check your blog nothing else! i hope we can continue to be friends this year too n perhaps talk more (or the same amount idk please tell me off when i’m too annoying)!! happy new year, i hope it holds wonderful things in store for u!!!!!! and we really are starting off great since victon comeback is approaching <3 (this got way too long i’m so sorry i’ll cut it off now before i write 10 pages)
@xiaocity : miss siya hello hello hello first of all i’m just so very glad that you’re back i l o v e you!!! i love seeing you around be it your gifs or your text posts which yes. i cannot properly understand half of the time but google is my best friend after all! you’re such a wonderful person and i’m just?? really glad to have you around like?? you feel kind of like a cousin i don’t always get to see but am always excited to talk to when i can? this might not make sense but. you are vvv cool and talented and funny and feel very like. reliable? i feel like i am not making any sense so like ignore me. what i’m saying is i really really like you a whole lot and i really hope we can talk even more in 2021!! happy new year, i hope it’s a wonderful one for you!!
@yunwoo : miss anna we haven’t been moots for that long and we haven’t talked much but u are vvv cute and i hope we can become (better) pals this year!! i’m looking forward to seeing u on the dash more often, hopefully!! happy new year <3
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Note
so i just read through your entire boy band au tag (sorry for the spam of likes haha) and i realized that we never really learned much about romans home life? how did it feel for him to leave home? (sorry if you already answered something like this, im really tired)
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Tagging @cristalmystery since you also asked about Roman! 
Warnings for: unsupportive/mean parents, low self-esteem/self-image issues, very vague mentions of emotionally destructive tendencies. 
OKAY so, Roman. 
Basically, Roman grew up being incapable of doing right by his parents. Or at least, feeling that way. 
If he joined theater, his dad wanted him to play baseball. If he played baseball, he “wasn’t good enough” to get the position his dad wanted him to have, etc. 
If he took piano, his mom wanted him to volunteer because it looked better on college applications. If he volunteered with a summer music camp, it would have looked better if he’d volunteered at a soup kitchen, etc. 
If Roman ventured off the beaten path set upon by his parents, they withdrew support entirely. Didn’t attend performances (not because they were busy, but because they didn’t approve of Roman reciting Hamlet on stage, etc.), refused when Roman asked if he could take vocal lessons/guitar lessons, etc. 
Roman spends a lot of his childhood trying--with increasing desperation--to make his parents proud of him. To be enough for them.
He never is. 
He struggles academically, too, especially in high school. He tries--he tries so hard--but the support from his parents just isn’t there, and Roman relies on Logan’s help and support to get him passing in math and science (he does okay in English, averaging B’s and C’s). And that, well... doesn’t help anything either. It doesn’t help him get his parents’ approval and it doesn’t help his spiraling self-esteem. 
And it puts Roman in this weird space emotionally because he is happiest when he is singing and performing on a stage, but there’s a restless part of him that can’t stop craving his parent’s approval, no matter how many times he tells Logan it doesn’t matter because nothing he does will be good enough. 
So like, around his sophomore/junior year, Roman realizes that it’s messed up and a part of him is angry at his parents and a part of him is angry at himself because it would be easier if he could just stop caring what his parents think but he can’t. 
Then Roman sees the advertisement about how Remy was looking for fresh new talent when he’s sitting in the local coffeeshop with Logan one day and he’s like “f*ck it” 
He’s having one of those “if i can’t make them proud doing what they want, then I’ll just do what I want” kind of moment of rebellion, yknow? 
He drags Logan along when he goes, telling his parents he’s going to Logan’s to study for their chem exam. 
And so they audition. And he gets offered a spot and a part of Roman wants very badly to burst into tears because Remy--the Remy, famous-music-producer-who-has-heard-teens-all-over-the-country-sing Remy--gives him this small sign of you are enough. And more than that, Roman gets a taste of that feeling of acceptance and pride and wow maybe I can be worth something while I chase my wildest dream and Roman’s heart lurches with the thought. 
That evening, Roman fights with his parents. It’s his first time really pushing back against them. Because both of his parents are like “Roman, don’t be ridiculous. You can’t be successful as a musician. You’re going to fail out in LA just like you keep failing here, except we won’t be there to point you in the right direction”. 
Roman. claps. back.
He leaves for LA on very... tense, uncomfortable terms with his parents. Because they let him go, but Roman knows that’s mostly because they think it will teach Roman a lesson if he flops. His parents strongly suggested that the only reason they let him go to LA is because if he fails--and he will, they’re sure of it--maybe Roman will finally give up this ridiculous idea that he can be rock-star and actually get Serious about His Future. 
And well. We all know how that goes. 
Though Roman’s thirst for validation and making others proud of him leads to some... less-than-healthy behaviors through their rise to fame, and it takes a lot of emotional and mental work for Roman to overcome that. But he gets there, with some help. And eventually, he does stop caring about what his parents think. 
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stray-tori · 4 years
Text
An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness
I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?
So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)
ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.
And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)
And it destroyed me.
For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)
I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.
Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))
(i’m serious, this is fucking long)
__________
Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff
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This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive
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What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again
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Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever
I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay
This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd
He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist
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Save my babyyyy
Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee
This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it
Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep
It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.
yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot
hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???
also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY
they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds
like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho
i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it
[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]
I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks
WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad
OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too
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OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly
I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY
I'M :((((
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different species confirmed
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I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP 
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someone help him he looks so saddddd
not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT
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AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft
PFFF
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I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((
awww
i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together
OH OH THEY'RE KISSING
best buildup, honestly
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the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute
D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed
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i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow
Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this
hELP
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chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao
[Noah was jealous]
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w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs
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oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever
DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha
okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION
They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED
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understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so
tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot
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hooo
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they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too
[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]
which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy
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on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS 
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SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY
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OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO
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look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS
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how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn
[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]
WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd
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cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly
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dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs
oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds
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this is the best 3 panels in existence.
h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you
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[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]
awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this
"well im not okay"
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MY BABIESSSS 
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they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd
[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O
N OOOO
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this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE 
:((( babyyyy
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I AM EMO
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Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED
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OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child
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i am so emo about this
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[reminder he’s been abused TvT]
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[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]
i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((
he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD
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I AM SO SAD
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No
NO
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It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy
[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]
what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh
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I’M
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I’M SO SAD
now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god
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I'M :((( 
NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO
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N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE
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Im. gonna cry more 
Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again
[mei: p-probably not, no]
i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha
BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo
[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]
OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING
its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((
[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee
and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE
I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE
im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much
[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]
dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit
[mei: THAT TOO]
[...]
tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character
i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that
pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet
[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]
yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho
[...]
i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots
[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]
okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace
ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing
[... removed some general confusion about the plot]
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YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.
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i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD
okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??
one good message 
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why 
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did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]
im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year
why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING
[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]
its an experience allright WELL
_______________
yup that’s it.
in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.
That’s it.
Have a nice day.
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spnsoulsarchive · 4 years
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rules
   This is going to be a long post, and I apologise for that. However I do not apologise for putting my boundaries as clear as possible, and will not apologise for doing so. All of the rules below exist for a reason, and I have them for my own comfort.
It is okay if you don’t agree with them BUT IT’S NOT OKAY TO IGNORE THEM. If you think you cannot follow the posted rules, then do not follow this blog. Thank you !!
General
 These are the basics, a re-hash of rules that almost everyone has but that I like to cover anyway just in case!
Read ALL important pages: rules, disclaimer, muse list & info for the muse(s) you want to interact with
Use proper punctuation and spellings to the best of your abilities
Mark clearly whether an ask is IC or OOC
No godmodding
No maiming, killing, etc. of my muses without my permission
No choosing of thoughts or big actions of my muses without my permission
Hate, anon or otherwise, will be reported and deleted. Users will be blocked.
There may be an occasional mention that I do this if there’s some kind of repeat, but I will not place the content itself on the dash.
Asks and IMs are always welcome!!
More in the < Asks & Memes & Messaging > section
tracked tag is SOULSBREATHED and is the best chance of getting me to see a post. @’ing me will also work, but please be sure to use my url tag on top that! please also put somewhere which of my muse(s) the post is for.
Specifics
These are some of the rules that have been established over time for my own sake, and to make everyone’s time on here a lot easier!
Your age must be listed somewhere I can easily find it! I’m not comfortable writing some content with muns or muses who are under 18
If I cannot find that information I am unlikely to follow, and I will not write that content with you, as it’s safer to err on the side of caution.
It takes time for me to check through all my followers, so please don’t ask if I haven’t followed back right away or unfollow, unless I post very specifically about dumblr fucking things up.
There’s any number of reasons I may do either, but the more we happily interact and talk the more likely I am to follow or re-follow.
With rare exception, I will not interact with any blogs that contain digits in them.
Please, please, use regularly accepted punctuation within threads.
Please.
Do NOT spam-reblog from me, which is reblogging 3+ posts in rapid succession. It messes up my notifications and I lose other things.
Mark clearly between IC/OOC, and which muse or npc a message is for.
ALL PERSONALS WILL BE BLOCKED
unless I can tell with a glance that there are RP sideblogs attached to them
I love my ships and will not stop writing them for someone else’s sake. I tag all visual content, but if there’s a short tag or something to be added, give me a quick little heads-up and I’ll happily tack it on. Everyone wins!
If I cannot easily navigate a blog for information, I will not follow back
easy navigation includes:
rules page
disclaimer/ooc page of some kind
tagging system
cut posts
Formatting
this little section is for what to expect from me and my writing preferences, but it is a flexible section!
I do both regular capitalization and zero capitalization for threads, depending on partner and length of the thread
memes and asks will be done in whichever I’m feeling
I do small text ONCE for aesthetic, but will leave text regular size if asked
Headlines will be done in subtext size, again mostly for aesthetic
Parentheses and brackets will be BOLDED and italicized, on the whole
I will @ the url of the person who sent the ask or is part of the thread
thread partner urls may also have their muse’s name listed after a slash for further clarity
I occasionally use icons, but mostly for asks, dash commentary, or silly things
all icons are 100x100
I enjoy using bold, italics, and strikethrough, but that’s about the extent of my text formatting and I try not to overdo them too much
Asks & Memes & Messaging
Asks are open to everyone!
IMs are ooc and mutuals only.
If a meme is shippy or nsfw, it is mutuals only and will require previous interaction.
All others are freebies!!
for the time being I’m putting a graphic in the direct reply to an ask, adding a blockquote for tagging the sender, additional commentary, and the source meme if there is one
Any reply to an ask MUST be in a new post. Reblogged asks will be ignored.
Any messages saying ‘wanna rp?’ or asking for an IM will be deleted. I’m far more receptive to being approached with ideas to work with
While not explicitly reblog karma, I am not a meme source and will talk to you if you always take memes from me but never send anything in or talk to me. Sometimes a meme doesn’t work and that’s fine, but there’s no excuse to never interact with me.
I often have a mix of platonic, general, and nsfw/shippy memes at my disposal, but feel free to improv something from the gist or edit sentences to suit our muses better!! Creative fun is why we’re here <3
OCS & Sideblogs & MuMus & Second-Gens
Information must be easy to navigate and read, same as for canons/single muse blogs!
Sideblogs, please list somewhere OBVIOUS what the main blog is called so I know what to look out for.
Mumus, I love you and your dedication, but I am most selective with you. Yes, even as a mumu myself.
The more fandoms covered and more muses included, the less likely I am to hop on board mostly because I prefer a clean dash.
If we’re close friends ooc I’ll likely be far more lenient
OCs with a main spn-canon faceclaim will not be accepted unless the muse has been around longer than the canon being cast or if they look/act markedly different than the canon ( Karen Gillan with all her hair vs as Nebula, for example ).
more in the < canons & fcs > section
Unless plotted otherwise, they will not know my muses, but they can know OF my muses
Second-Gens ( kids of the original set(s) of main canons ) make me uncomfortable for a number of reasons, and so will be interacted with on a case-by-case basis.
I am unlikely to follow unless we know each other very well ooc
Canons & FCs
Again, OCs with main spn-canon faceclaims will not be interacted with unless they meet at least one of the two criteria listed above.
However, if I pick a FC for someone related to this blog that isn’t canon, it’ll likely be shrugged off as uncanny lookalike, or we can otherwise plot around it.
Animated FCs are welcome, but I’ll admit that specifically anime blogs are unlikely to be interacted with. Sorry
If a canon has an alternate faceclaim: cool! Just have it listed somewhere obvious, please
FCs I will NOT interact with: Mark Sheppard, Selena Gomez, Mads Mikkelsen, Miley Cyrus, Justin Beiber, Sara Bareilles, Andrew Scott, Zooey Deschanel, Natalie Dormer. The list may be periodically updated; yes, it is okay to ask me about specific names and why these ones are listed.
Shipping
There will be a good deal of F/F, F/M, and M/M on this blog both in visual and text.
May ( read: probably will ) include three+somes.
Implication and mention to graphically clear are likely, and will be tagged.
Brady/Sam is not a ship I expect but Brady (the demon) is at least borderline obsessed with Sam even if he doesn’t actively seek the other out 
Wi.nce.st will very likely be present on this blog. If this is content that makes you uncomfortable please do not follow me.
By default, ALL my muses are single unless plotted otherwise.
Please don’t assume there will be a ship between your muse and mine without plotting first, positively or negatively !!
I WILL NOT be ship-exclusive with any blogs
I will have mains but it’s on unofficial terms
For all my writing partners: I will happily plot ships, and details! But I won’t have an assumed prior romantic/sexual history between our muses.
Again, I know this bit is particularly long !! But it’s very necessary for my comfort and yours as a baseline of whether we might get along or not. Thank you again for pulling through all the reading; if you’re staying, awesome !! If you’re not, I’m sorry to see you go but I hope you find the writing happiness you want <3
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burnedbyshoto · 5 years
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anon: The artist @franeridart answers all of their asks in one mass post with a read more link so maybe you could try that as well. That way you could answer everyones ask but not spam anyones dash with all of your replys
you genius anon, and you genius artist! I just feel like as of late I have been getting a lot more things in my askbox, and I dont want to overwhelm anyone with spam. so, I will be creating these! unless it’s for y’all thirsty hoes asking for extra parts or whatever from very recent posts, expect this to happen every so often! the rest will be below cut. also first time using photoshop? how’d I do yall??? and also like.... let me know if you like this idea??? if not i’ll just resort to spam :)
@your-parental-figure : IK BUT DETECTIVE GUY CONSIDERED BOTH TOKOYAMI AND KIRI TO BE ALL MIGJTS SUCCESSOR DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT MENT??? THAT MOMENT WATERED MY CROPS, CLEARED MY SKIN AND SOLVED WORLD HUNGER
oh season four episode one, you may have been a filler, but you made me so happy to watch. honestly ngl, I was pretty surprised when he said kiri, not because he has no potential, but because it seemed like the top 4 from the sports festival, bUT FUCK YEAH KIRI AND TOKOYAMI!!!!! IN A DIFFERENT WORLD IT COULDVE BEEN THEM!!!!!
anon: Makeup smut for villain Deku should be good. 100% tender, no chicken
honestly, my favorite thing at this point is seeing you all crumble in fear if i’ll even give you a happy ending, and tbh idk if it will be for villain!deku >:)
@ohmycolie: So it’s Saturday night and I’m just sitting at home 🤦🏼‍♀️ could you maybe do a scenario where Bakubaby and Kiri decide to bring Kami into their sexcapades and after their little adventure Kiri is like “can we keep him?” 🤤💕
hi bby, while I can imagine something of this sort I am only a “x reader” blog :( so while its good thirst, I won’t be writing anything about it, sorry :( ily tho!
@michealsheep: Honestly is shiggy ended me after an intense nut like that I’d just thank him
honestly, I want shiggy just to end me??? whatta way to go. death by fucking nut.
bigdickkiri: I don’t get ship wars. Why do people wanna be so mean? It’s so easy to not be a part of any a that.if everyone appropriately tagged their posts, blacklisted rags they don’t like and didn’t act bitchy then they wouldn’t be an issue. - bigdickkiri
neither do I honestly. they’re just people looking for drama at this point, and it’s like... come on... you’re 25... stop
bigdickkiri: What a fantastic evening to tell my favourite writers that I adore them and that they're amazing! Look after yourself and have a gorgeous day! ❤️💙❤️💙 - bigdickkiri
I’m literally the worst. but um, I adore you so much, and I think you’re amazing!!!!! its 2am rn, but I can’t sleep anyways
🍒💥anon: Girl, your blog is having a glo up!!! I love it!! So pretty 👌 How are you doing today? Are you taking care of yourself? *sending good vibes and virtual hugs your way* -🍒💥
teehee, thank you for noticing!!!!!! i’m not 100% happy with it rn, but I haven’t had the time to get it perfect!!! wait a few more weeks and when I have actual down time, im fixing it >:) also, I am doing well, a lot of caretaking today! I never take care of myseld! *accepts the good vibes and virtual hugs because I am touch starved*
anon: I'm part of the protect uraraka squad!!! ♡
me too boo! you wanna fight me on my mochi loving girl meet me on the corner of my fists and in your faCE!!!!! (is this considered cyberbullying?)
anon: WTF @ THAT ANGST I M SAD NOW
this was in regard to my fic “because of you” which I posted because I was in a crying mood. HAHAHAHAHA YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO FEEL SAD I WINNNNNNNN
@joyfullydawn: I just wanted to say you're heccin' amazing??? The fact you named that roommate one "And they were roommates" I just--yes. This is more than ok. This is excellent. Please keep being awesome aaaa
and they were roommates was the first series I had, and the thing I did in celebration for 100 followers.... jesus that feels so long ago and not in fact less than two months ago!!!!!!!!!!! maybe I should reblog my old works so you newer lovely followers can read them!!!!!
anon: would u ever do a part 2 to under the mistletoe with aizawa? its so sad and i just want them to be HAPPY
I am planning on doing it!!!!! it’s in my requests, so no worriesssss ;)
hermana anon: hermana that todo angst 🥺🥺you’re literally the best angst writer jdjdbd
okay but for real do I write actually good angst??? asking for a friend..... and HGAIGHJIAORGHUOG THAKN YOU FOR THAT COMPLIMENT!!!! PLEASE RECOMMEND ME ANGST FICS BECAUSE I LOVE CRYINGGGG
🍒✨ anon: this has literally nothing to do with anything that’s on your account right now but do you think that dabi sends shoto happy birthday messages? i like to think he does because even if he’s a villain, he still lowkey care about his siblings - 🍒✨
this was from a very long ass time ago, and im sorry I never responded to you sparkle cherry anon, but I definitely do believe that he sends birthday cards. with his baby bro’s increase in his fangirl club, he now is unafraid to send shouto a card. its always the only one that catches shouto’s attention when he goes through them because they’re weirdly personal. shouto, being a smart yet dense idiot, believes its someone in the class pranking him.
~ I won’t be posting these messages, but they were from awhile ago when I was hitting a rough patch with my insecurity as a writer and my ability to give my all to you. there are many of you, 19 messages in total, where you told me why you loved my writing. I never responded to them because they make me cry even now looking back at them. to each and every anon, I thank you for saying those kind words. to @saladsharkz, @thecryingsombra, @olivenight17, @shutupwylow, @expressyourstarstruckrebel, and @awkward-theaterkid thank you as well. there is another non anon, but they asked not to be revealed. thank you so sososo much.
~ I will not be posting these as well, because again, drama from awhile ago. but this was in regard to the anon who did not like the kinklist I had created for kinktober. while now I think I am doing a pretty damn good job, and no one has said otherwise, to the 2 anons, @connors-my-boy, and bigdickkiri, thank you for fighting an anon that was never your responsibility to take <3
@w0w-s0-3dgy: u make me uwu so much🥺❤️ I LOVE YOUR PAGE BABE I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL!
BBY I LOVE YOU AND I AM DOING WELL NOW!!!!! THANK YOU FOR LOVING MY PAGE LITERALLY WHERE WOULD I BE WITHOUT YOU?!?!??!!
anon: You followed me and idk if it was just to be nice or if you want to be friends or what hdhakanskenebdhsiq
im starting to follow back people that make me happy. it’s been awhile since ive been on a followspree, but I follow you back when i see kind messages from you, when I see that you’ve liked so many of my horrible posts, when you reblog my things with the most amazing tags. I follow you because I want to be your friend, you’re always welcomed to be my friend!!! hell you can literally be like “bitch listen to this” and never once having spoken to me I will respond with “give me the fucking chisme my queen”
anon: *gives u an encouraging and comforting yeehaw*
now.... now I can conquer the world, thank you
anon: Hi! I love the way you're writing things for kinktober, and I'd personally love if you could reblog what you're writing multiple times because I'm at uni most of the day so I miss out on a lot. Pd. I absolutely adore your writing! Please keep up ❤
I AM TRYING TO REBLOG MY STORIES NOW BUT OMGNGSOUHFIPA YOU LIKE HOW I WRITE?!?!?!??!?!?!
heathers anon: Its the anon who sent the Dabi heather au. I send it because i know your popular and a lot of popular blogs check your blogs. And I honestly struggle with other blogs because they ignored most of my asks.
teehee, I appreciate you thinking im a popular blog and that other popular blogs check mine, but thats not true!!! sorry for never responding back, but i’m sure they’re not meaning to ignore you on purpose. there’s just so much happening things get buried!
@sinnaminsvga : we're both alyssa so it's really interesting to see the nicknames u use bc i see you use lyssa and i got the nickname ari and i think that's pretty neat how we both have the same name but wildly different nicknames
it don’t matter, we be alyssa twinsies!!!!!!!!!!
anon: I was just going through your master list, cause I’m in a stunning mood and why not make a good mood better? and I saw bakugous “sickness and that word I can’t spell” got hella happy for a sec CAUSE YES THAT WAS SO ADORABLE AND I LOVED IT. Then I remembered the heart shattering angst that came with Todos side. So like. Ily but you a meanie.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHA WE LOVE SUFFERING!!!!!! I just... really have a thing for angst it seems... don’t tell my followers though, im in denial over it...
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egyptroyal · 4 years
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things a new (old/mutual/whatever) rp partner should know about me !
fun new meme here ! write 3-5 things a rp partner (or those who want to be) should know about you and tag 3-5 people! it should be related to rp and not to other interests.
I have a lot of muses all spread out on different blogs so, if I can’t choose one of your muses, I’m going to send in a meme for each of your muses. Out of my three primary roleplay blogs, there are four side roleplay blogs. Four of the muses being time lords and every regeneration - incarnation - is a muse of their own. Over at @themadvigilantist​ have 339 V muses, 89 Vin muses, 3 villains; sideblog @tardis500​ has 6 tardis oc muses, here, which is also a sideblog, I have 8 ocs, 12 canonical characters, 52 televised/comic/audio parody portrayals of the doctor. At @pennybraddock​, i have only 1 oc muse. At @drbabygirl​, i have 1 oc, and 4 canon characters. At @thebadtimewolf​, I have a singular time lord main muse with 15 human alternate versions of herself and one angel entity with @nosewitch​ being one singular side blog. Altogether, i have 533 muses, possibly more if I miscounted (or if the doctor ends up getting more that I missed then well shit, i’ll add them later as muses too. So, if you are someone that don’t want a spam of asks your way or thought I would just pick one muse out of your many, you are dead wrong on that and I might not be the blog for you. I’ll slap in a new muse left and right and then think I’m done only to add 20 more out of excitement just to forget about them later on. When I say I am excited to rp with you, I’m excited to throw a small village at every single muse you got unless you pick one first.
I am a very graphic and dark writer with the occasional smut (depending on the blog/muse), that does not censor or tone down their muse but, there are some limits. Just about all of my rp blogs deal with some very heavy subject material, which I tend to write out in great detail. This means you might come across descriptions of scenarios, that are very dark, graphic, disturbing or just drawn out as something that my muse realistically, no one would give/expect that kind of reaction towards in general. However, I have a limit and no, it’s not because it makes me unconfortable writing it, I just get...stuck. Okay, for example with my villain/neutral muses, I can’t write rape. I’ll write with someone that can write that particular subject but, I can’t write it myself because I don’t know how. Murder? You betcha and with detail. Torture? You got it and with trauma. Destroy an entire solar system while making the character feel wracked with guilt over the deaths of billions? Yeah, I can do that with detail on how it affected everyone else on a visual. Rape? Nope, nothing, same goes if you random anons want to just worse stuff, I can’t write it. Don’t know how, won’t know how. Now, that being said, I will never condone any of those behaviors that I describe but, if I can’t write it? Then pick something else. I can tag appropriately but, if my partner don’t tell me to cut to the next day or do fade-to-black in their following response, I’m going to describe that. Why I say depending on the muse is this: some of my muses are into fearplay/edgeplay but, the level where they were probably the reason some of their ‘interests’ are called risk-accepted consensual kinks which, for muses that are vile or evil, y’all gonna have to um, explain it that what you’re doing to them is not a dubcon situation but, a no-dont-get-off-on-this situation-this-is-my-scare-tactic. if you don’t, it’s gonna get real uncensored morticia/gomez real quick and you don’t want it. Other muses on the other hand will actually be scared so, choose (out of the collective 533+ muses) wisely. I’ll give you a list of who is in to what real quick, just ask/im me and i’ll find a generator that show just how much/little they’ll be into a thing.
I use either memes, open starters, greeters as an ice breaker but, also aiming to pre-established starters. So, I tend to make general starter for those that recently follow me in a way that anyone could respond to. I’m not shy to plotting but, for the most part, I’m just testing the waters. We can also im each other, send each other asks or whathaveyou. A jumping board that I might respond to one of your open starters or make a thread out of an answered post that you or I had sent to the other.
I don’t know how to godmod but, if you do it ...don’t be surprised that the muse is gonna fight back?? I only say this because I can’t write physical fight scenes with anyone because I’m so shit at those that I can now say that I have been accused of godmodding (2) twice in the span of a decade on this site by two ppl who (hopefully) live somewhere with free healthcare. Everytime I respond to how my character would counter an attack, there’s always that one person with their muse - that they are clearly in a fight scene - that only I get accused of godmodding out of nowhere. Despite when I look back at my responses on how I word things and I don’t see it (I still don’t. Is there an editor I can ask to look over and what I should reword here??) and the accuser fails to tell me to reword what sentence/paragraph to fix it where it’s not that. If I don’t get a response to what/where the specific bit in my response that made you think/came across as godmodding, then clearly you was godmodding too.                        OTHERWISE, WITH THE REST OF THE PPL I RPED A FIGHT SCENE WITH IN THE SPAN OF THE DECADE, THEY WERE JUST LIKE ‘OH THIS IS FUNKY AND FUN! *CUE TO US VIBIN OVER ANGST IN TAGS WHILE ALSO POKING FUN AT OUR MUSES AND SHIT*’ AND LIKE WE COOL SO MAYBE IT’S NOT MY WRITING STYLE, IT’S JUST YOU MISREADING THE TEXT PRESENTED TO YOU AND NOT ASKING ‘hey what you mean by [action/thing]? could you like rewrite that? i don’t get it, it didn’t sit right could you rewrite it?’ I’LL DO IT, I’LL FIX IT. HELP ME SEE WHAT YOU SEE?? INSTEAD OF JUMPING TO THAT ACCUSATION WITH NO EXPLANATION WHEN A THREAD DON’T GO YOUR WAY?? IT’S NO ANNOYANCE/BOTHER FOR ME TO FIX MY MISTAKES BUT IF YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT THE MISTAKE IS (while consciously choosing to just point out that in some part of our thread to say only ‘stop godmodding/that was a little godmod-y’ when a muse of mine don’t react/act indifferent to yours and their actions) THEN HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO GET BETTER, DO BETTER, AND BE BETTER IN MY WRITING WITH YOU IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE REPERCUSSIONS/REACTION OF MY MUSES CHOICE OF RESPONSE?? ok that’s out of my system                                  anyway don’t-don’t-don’t godmod but also, if you think im godmodding when i can’t tell where it is on either side ahahahah, u better fucking tell me which paragraph/sentence i fucked up instead of just throwing that word around when you can’t handle when muses don’t automatically shiver at the sight of yours. if anything, they already been there done that over it.
I’ll make a manip, gifset, draw our muses for our muses. I do that. I do that a lot. Ask me, I’ll do it. I’ll submit/send the drawing privately but, manips and gifsets: I put that on display. I will. Ask me.
Tagged by: @blindeddevil
Tagging: @city-full-of-ocs @idontdosecondchances @takumishinobi @paigeatyourservice @girl-in-the-tardis @followthedrums13 @gingersrockstheuniverse @destinybitten @lonelybxstards @theiracademydaysareover @theserpentsjester & anyone else that wants to/sees this
my entire mood @ #4 but, it was made at 3 AM and i don’t have the voice but, the vibe of yvette nicole brown because i got into community again
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shieldedsouls · 5 years
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rules
    This is going to be a long post, and I apologise for that. However I do not apologise for putting my boundaries as clear as possible, and will not apologise for doing so. All of the rules below exist for a reason, and I have them for my own comfort. 
It is okay if you don’t agree with them but it’s not okay to ignore them. If you think you cannot follow the posted rules, then do not follow this blog. Thank you !!
General
  These are the basics, a re-hash of rules that almost everyone has but that I like to cover anyway just in case!
Read ALL important pages: rules, disclaimer, muse list & info for the muse(s) you want to interact with
Use proper punctuation and spellings to the best of your abilities
Mark clearly whether an ask is IC or OOC
No godmodding
No maiming, killing, etc. of my muses without my permission
No choosing of thoughts or big actions of my muses without my permission
Hate, anon or otherwise, will be reported and deleted. Users will be blocked. 
There may be an occasional mention that I do this if there’s some kind of repeat, but I will not place the content itself on the dash.
Asks and IMs are always welcome!!
More in the < Asks & Memes & Messaging > section
tracked tag is SHIELDEDSOULS and is the best chance of getting me to see a post. @’ing me will also work, but please be sure to use my url tag on top that! please also put somewhere which of my muse(s) the post is for.
Specifics
These are some of the rules that have been established over time for my own sake, and to make everyone’s time on here a lot easier!
Your age must be listed somewhere I can easily find it! I’m not comfortable writing some content with muns or muses who are under 18
If I cannot find that information I am unlikely to follow, and I will not write that content with you, as it’s safer to err on the side of caution.
If you are not comfortable with discussion and usage of DID ( dissociative identity disorder ) please do not follow as it ties heavily into my portrayal of Bucky Barnes and James ( the Winter Soldier ).  
It takes time for me to check through all my followers, so please don’t ask if I haven’t followed back right away or unfollow, unless I post very specifically about dumblr fucking things up.
There’s any number of reasons I may do either, but the more we happily interact and talk the more likely I am to follow or re-follow.
With rare exception, I will not interact with any blogs that contain digits in them.
Please, please, use regularly accepted punctuation within threads.
Please.
Do not spam-reblog from me, which is reblogging 3+ posts in rapid succession. It messes up my notifications and I lose other things.
Mark clearly between IC/OOC, and which muse or npc a message is for.
ALL PERSONALS WILL BE BLOCKED
unless I can tell with a glance that there are RP sideblogs attached to them
I love my ships and will not stop writing them for someone else’s sake. I tag all visual content, but if there’s a short tag or something to be added, give me a quick little heads-up and I’ll happily tack it on. Everyone wins!
If I cannot easily navigate a blog for information, I will not follow back
easy navigation includes:
rules page
disclaimer/ooc page of some kind
tagging system
cut posts
Formatting
this little section is for what to expect from me and my writing preferences, but it is a flexible section!
I do both regular capitalization and zero capitalization for threads, depending on partner and length of the thread
memes and asks will be done in whichever I’m feeling
I do small text ONCE for aesthetic, but will leave text regular size if asked
Headlines will be done in subtext size, again mostly for aesthetic
Parentheses and brackets will be bolded and italicized, on the whole
I will @ the url of the person who sent the ask or is part of the thread
thread partner urls will also have their muse’s name listed after a slash for further clarity
I occasionally use icons, but mostly for asks, dash commentary, or silly things
all icons are 100x100
I enjoy using bold, italics, and strikethrough, but that’s about the extent of my text formatting and I try not to overdo them too much
Asks & Memes & Messaging
Asks are open to everyone!
IMs are ooc and mutuals only.
If a meme is shippy or nsfw, it is mutuals only and will require previous interaction. 
All others are freebies!!
due to asks being fucked for formatting: i will tag the url of the sender on a new post, have a header to show which muse is answering, and tag the user within the post. i will also link it and privately answer the original ask where possible, to help ensure responses are seen.
for the time being I’m putting a graphic in the direct reply to an ask, adding a blockquote for tagging the sender, additional commentary, and the source meme if there is one
Any reply to an ask must be in a new post. Reblogged asks will be ignored.
Any messages saying ‘wanna rp?’ or asking for an IM will be deleted. I’m far more receptive to being approached with ideas to work with
Any messages that do no specify a muse will be deleted.
While not explicitly reblog karma, I am not a meme source and will talk to you if you always take memes from me but never send anything in or talk to me. Sometimes a meme doesn’t work and that’s fine, but there’s no excuse to never interact with me.
I often have a mix of platonic, general, and nsfw/shippy memes at my disposal, but feel free to improv something from the gist or edit sentences to suit our muses better!! Creative fun is why we’re here <3
OCS & Sideblogs & MuMus & Second-Gens
Information must be easy to navigate and read, same as for canons/single muse blogs!
Sideblogs, please list somewhere OBVIOUS what the main blog is called so I know what to look out for.
Mumus, I love you and your dedication, but I am most selective with you. Yes, even as a mumu myself.
The more fandoms covered and more muses included, the less likely I am to hop on board mostly because I prefer a clean dash.
If we’re close friends ooc I’ll likely be far more lenient
OCs with an mcu-canon faceclaim will not be accepted unless the muse has been around longer than the canon being cast or if they look markedly different than the canon ( Karen Gillan with all her hair vs as Nebula, for example ).
more in the < canons & fcs > section
Unless plotted otherwise, they will not know my muses, but they can know of my muses
Second-Gens ( kids of the original set(s) of main canons ) make me uncomfortable for a number of reasons, and so will be interacted with on a case-by-case basis.
I am unlikely to follow unless we know each other very well ooc
Canons & FCs
Again, OCs with mcu-canon faceclaims will not be interacted with unless they meet at least one of the two criteria listed above.
However, if I pick a FC for someone related to this blog that isn’t canon, it’ll likely be shrugged off as uncanny lookalike, or we can otherwise plot around it. 
Animated FCs are welcome, but I’ll admit that specifically anime blogs are unlikely to be interacted with. Sorry
If a canon has an alternate faceclaim: cool! Just have it listed somewhere obvious, please
FCs I will not interact with: Mark Sheppard, Selena Gomez, Mads Mikkelsen, Miley Cyrus, Justin Beiber, Sara Bareilles, Andrew Scott, Zooey Deschanel, Natalie Dormer. The list may be periodically updated; yes, it is okay to ask me about specific names and why these ones are listed.
Shipping
There will be a good deal of F/F, F/M, and M/M on this blog both in visual and text. 
May ( read: probably will ) include three+somes. 
Implication and mention to graphically clear are likely, and will be tagged.
By default, ALL my muses are single, with the noted exceptions of Frigga ( until Odin chooses to pass ) Dugan and Peggy if it’s circa 1952-after, and Sam who is widowed and single post-2012, unless plotted otherwise.
Please don’t assume there will be a ship between your muse and mine without plotting first, positively or negatively !!
Specific to Peggys: don’t be alarmed by my above warning, Dugan/Peg is my muses only and not something I expect to be followed. I will also not expect a ship with Steve.
specific to Steves: I will not expect a ship with Peggy, Bucky, or Sharon
However, Bucky loves Steve, bordering on obsessively. Whether it’s platonic, romantic, or completely one-sided pining is up to plotting and muse chemistry.
if we are writing stucky, Bucky is the one who will be in it first.
James is incredibly anxious about dealing with Steve for many reasons, and more anxious about the possibility of infringing on Bucky’s territory.
It is one of few ships that will require Bucky’s active participation if you want James involved, because James will refuse Steve otherwise.
if we are writing steggy, it will not be eg-canon compliant
Specific to Peppers: Tony cares ( depending on point in time, deeply ) for her, but I will not expect a ship and it must be plotted out. 
They could be exes, almosts, currently dating, platonically attached, whatever we would like! But it must be plotted.
specifically for Janes: I do not automatically lead with fosterson! My default is somewhere between slow burn infatuation or mutual, friendly separation. Thor adores her in any type of relationship though, and supports her endeavors and enthusiasms
For Bucky and James, dating one of them does not mean you have to be dating the other.
It would be marginally easier depending on time and verse tho
Specifically for Natashas: I include the generality of James being at the Red Room, but we must plot about including the affair or not. It is not my default canon.
if we are defaulting to winterwidow, James is the one most familiar with her, not Bucky. James was the fronting personality when they originally met, and Bucky’s recollection of events will be hazy if present at all.
If you want to ship Nat with Bucky, it must be plotted and must account for the prior/continuing relationship with James
For Sharon, she has no romantic interest in men ( yes including Steve ).
if she ends up with a comics-inclined verse this may change but will still require heavy plotting.
I will not be ship-exclusive with any blogs
I will have mains but it’s on unofficial terms
For all my writing partners: I will happily plot ships, and details! But I won’t have an assumed prior romantic/sexual history between our muses.
Again, I know this bit is particularly long !! But it’s very necessary for my comfort and yours as a baseline of whether we might get along or not. Thank you again for pulling through all the reading; if you’re staying, awesome !! If you’re not, I’m sorry to see you go but I hope you find the writing happiness you want <3
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dcarhcarts · 5 years
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What’s your OTP for your Muse(s)
Call it a copout but I don’t want to list cause it will.......be v v long but in general any canon ships, also Muse x Happiness
What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?
Pretty much everything up to explicit NSFW. I will take fade to blacks.  The caveat being that EVERYTHING IS COMMUNICATED. Please don’t spring a fade to black/random pregnancy/a massive breakup/idk whatever else on me without talking to me first?? I don’t mind horribly if the relationship is a little toxic....but like, intentionally. Like we both know that it’s toxic and we’re actively wriitng it toxically in an interesting...way? 
How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?
I think....more than 8? My grandparents are 8 years apart so personally for me this is the largest age gap I know a couple to have. Obviously, that age gap being not uncomfortable is always dependent on the fact that both muses are of age. Shipping an underage character with an adult is just....no thnx.
Are you selective when shipping?
Yes and no. This is a trick answer. On the one hand I’m not and on the other hand I am? I get the ship feels very fast if our interaction/plotting sparks the Chemistry Feel, but also the Chemistry Feel is very specific and if I don’t feel it, I don’t feel it. IDK if that’s selectivity or just......normal shipping. 
And then there’s also the fact that in general if our muses have a canon relationship, odds are that I probably ship them and want to write shippy stuff. B u t the kicker with all of that is that I don’t like shipping with someone just based off a canon connection bc there is every possibility that I will figure out later on that our portrayals don’t mesh very well or that I don’t actually have the Chemistry Feel from between our muses during the interaction, and I like...I never want to ship for the sake of having the ship? So like.....always talk to me first. Some plotting or interaction would be Best before we decide if shipping can happen.
How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?
When clothes start coming off or when That Kind of Touching (tm) starts happening. That’s where I’d like a fade to black thnx haha no sexual NSFW on this blog pls thnx.
Who are other muses you ship your muse with?
Hi is this where I LOVE ALL MY SHIP PARTNERS cause here i come. if i missed anyone it’s honestly cause i just got off a 4 hour shift of nothing but leaving answering machine messages and my brain is mush.
@personnages I’m only tagging one blog so I don’t spam the hell out of you but bUDDY PAL WE PLAY SHIP ROULETTE SO MUCH. There are so many that if I put all of them I’ll probably lose my place and cry but my favorites include: Pierre/Marya, Sonya/Andrei, Cass/Anya, plus you be the OG mr. darcy to my lizzie / OG andrei to my pierretasha so like!!!! legendary!!
@gcneralvaganov my partner in crime re: Glenya, Glima, and Glimya. You’re?? actually the 8th wonder in the world??? and I love you??? 
@skylarkmuses IN THIS HOUSE WE STAN SUSAN/TARAN. SURAN???? TASAN???? ANYWAY WE STAN. Just. I love them. They temper each other perfectly. ALso Im yelling about the mcfreaking Anya/Death Angel and we haven’t even really gotten shippy in thread
@outofthelight / @slackerphilosopher The Evan to my Zoe, the Henry to my Natalie <3 love ya Callie. love that we agree that our kids deserve i n f i n t e softness.
@starblcssd a sAINT AND MY SAVING GRACE WHO ADDED DIMA AFTER FIVE YEARS OF ME CRYING ON THE TAG. Like everyone else you write, your Dima?? may as well have just walked off the stage and straight into these posts.
@moretreasurewithin aNOTHER SAINT WHO PLAYS DIMA AND S O WELL I LOVE YOU and all our threads. I love how our Dimya ship has a bit more taste of the animated movie to it!!
@anastcsie what would dima be w/o *john mulaney voice* HIS WIFE??????? look dima is basically ned from the try guys with how much he talks/thinks about his wife probably. 
@spareisms  Dima adores???? the squishiest princess. Anna’s his sunshine, that’s it, thank you.
@tsvxtok while we’re on the topic of people dima adores.....Dima would literally die for Senya ok??? it’s established c a n o n facts. not that you’re going to let him die, but I can try, can’t I? lololol
@soulcrossed tHE SOPHIE TO MY HOWL. THE MICHAEL TO MY MARTHA. AND HOPEFULLY, IF I HECKLE YOU ENOUGH, THE BEN TO MY LETTIE. in any case, you’re brilliant, I love that we’re literally the entire hmc rpc, and i’m so soft for all our kids???
Does one have to ask to ship with you?
Yes. Please. Even if it’s a canon ship that you know explicitly I ship, honestly.  Please always ask. If you’re too shy to ask, send me an ask with “<3?” or smth, and I ‘ l l take it upon myself to hop into your IMs and guess which ship we might want to talk about until I get it right. 99% of the time I’ll say yes, but it’s just 1) good manners 2) good to let me know? because sometimes we’re writing something vaguely shippy but I would just like the verbal confirmation? it’s almost like my muse poking yours and being like “so are we dating now” except it’s me poking you and being like “are we shipping now??” 
And also sometimes our muses have clear chemistry but I have Hard Lines on how I ship with that muse (i.e.....Anatole). Or sometimes I don’t really want to ship, and your muse might just have to have unrequited feelings.
How often do you like to ship?
I am a l w a y s onboard when there’s chemistry. If my muse is making heart eyes obviously I can’t stop them lmao. Likewise if they’re really not feeling it....sorry nah.
Are you multiship?
Y e p. Multimuse, Multifandom, h e l l a multiship. 
Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?
I’m not ship-obsessed but I think ships are fun, and I would like ships for my muses. I spent a long time doing rp like...avoiding ships, bc they were generally not a part of the rp experience that I really enjoyed, based on past experience? But now I’ve got the Most Wonderful Ship Partners and while I don’t n e e d ships, I know that I want them! 
What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?
"Current fandom” lmao who is that????? How do I pick out of my 1701 fandoms?? I mean........I’ve been looking at a l o t of Kastle edits lately....sooooo that? I’m also catching up on my Punisher sooooo.
Finally, how does one ship with you?
COMMUNICATION!! Plotting! You can skip the initial interaction thread and hop straight into my IMs/Discord if you want, but plotting is the most important element I can think of when it comes to shipping with me. Always let me know what’s going on. Always build on our character relationships. And like..........tell me outright if you wanna ship!!  
tagged by: @skylarkmuses
tagging: .....uhhh whoever wants to I guess, this thing got v long and i don’t wanna accidentally put pressure on anyone jfaskl;jflsadf
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Tagged by: @kimchi-fried-ice (feel free to say hi whenever! I LOVE your blog, and you seem very nice I’d love to be friends!:))
Nickname: it’s practically my actual name, but it’s tidge. When I was little my basketball coach would always say my name as tish lol. Then my family started calling me that because they thought it was hilarious, and my mom said it in front of my theatre friends and they started doing it too. It’s honestly grown on me, and I let just about everyone call me tidge BC it usually leads to me telling them where it came from. Also I think it’s cute:):)
Height: 5’5?? 5’6? People always say I should know this but I just never do🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️.(side note: if you’re taller than me and also a girl who likes girls HMU😚)
Hogwarts house: I’m like the only one of every person I know who’s consumed 4 Harry Potter things( read first book, watched first 3 movies) but I took a quiz and got slytherin? Sounds about right from what I know lol. I’m nice, but I’ve got major RBF and I’m ALWAYS down for a little drama
Last thing I googled: “where to catch dreepy in Pokémon sword” that elusive motherfucker has a 2% chance of spawning in the wild area and I almost exploded after 2 hours of running in and out of like 3 different tall grass areas. Didn’t find one BUT I found it’s evolved form, which was fine because looking any longer may have killed me
Song stuck in my head: From Eden by Hozier and high five by Sigrid. They are both bangers in their own respect, and the are playing ln my head at the same time right now. It’s kinda nice!
Following:253! Though a few of those are inactive now, I’ve had this account since middle school
Followers: 27 total but 10 are inactive, and I’m pretty sure one is just a spam account that was VERY convincing
Amount of sleep I get: I try for 7-8 and get it most of the time, but some nights I get hit with that good self hate™️™️ and stay up later because why not? Or I’ll be up till 3 in fugue state trying to finish homework/ projects that I procrastinated on lol. I take lots of naps too BC they are soooo great
Lucky number:13! I have no basis behind this, other than because I want it to be, and because people say it’s bad luck. So far it’s been pretty great to me!!
Dream job: 😬😬😬 welll over the past 2 years, especially since I transferred colleges and had a bit of an unexpected major chance( technical theatre> studio art) My career path has been pretty unclear and I’m still not really sure what I wanna do. I’d love to get back into something theatre related because I’m pretty good at it, but lately the art I’ve been doing makes me very happy and gives me a personal sense of accomplishment that theatre never gave me. I’m hoping to find some sort of intersection between the two, so I can be able to make something for either a play or musical, then when I’m done just go chill somewhere for a little while and take a nap. Or like make some cool painting or drawing, make some money from it, then take a few weeks off of doing sutff, repeat. So I guess the short answer is: make art that I enjoy, get paid, not work every day:)
Wearing: what am I wearing?My, my, how sexual!! Just kidding;);). Black boots, high waisted skinny jeans, an button up shirt with a stranger things demegoron pattern, tan cardigan, and a little trans pride pendant I made to remind myself I am valid, and to signal other trans people!
Favorite song: (TAZ balance spoilers) idk if this counts but any version of lucetia’s theme from taz, written by one GRIFFIN TEAR MY HEART OUT ANDREW MCELROY. It’s just so beautiful, and it always makes me feel such strong emotions because every time it plays on the podcast there’s like a major plot development or moment of growth for lucetia, and I JUST. I literally ascend when it plays during the finale when she’s about to stop the hunger, just ugh so good
Instruments: I played the baritone for like a year in middle school. To summarize how that went: I was not very good:/:/
Random fact: I’m always telling myself that this probably isn’t something I should be so casual and open about, but then I tell people anyways. When I was 3-4, my sister was getting on my nerves and we were both on the kitchen counter for some reason. So to get her to stop, I took a knife and cut almost completely through her finger. Needless to say that got me in a bit of trouble with my dad, and to this day most of my family gets on edge when they see me with a knife. Which I find funny because In my teen years and now, I’ve gotten really into buying knifes and swords like some sort of blade gremlin. All of that probably made me sound very unstable, but I promise I’m not, just like sharp things. Im like 30% unhinged at all times AT MOST.
Aesthetics:????? I’m really into symmetry and matching colors of that counts as an aesthetic. My room is probably the best example, because everything in it is organized in a weird messy kinda way. I know where it is but it’s not where you’d think(ex: The sword I have hung next to my window) again I am very much a gremlin girl, and while I keep a lot of weird stuff, Im also very organized and creative so I end up using some broken things to make something new(ex: the bow and arrow I made out of a walking stick, some rubber bands and a 5 mechanical pencils). This description is probably also a good example of my aesthetic, which is to say messy, and slightly incoherent, but prepared and practical. In terms of clothing, it’s a sliding scale between “ For all intents and purposes I was not planning on leaving my room or being perceived physically by others today, but a friend wanted to hang out, and I love my friends so here I am looking like this” And “ I am an ethereal being of pure beauty and elegance, but watered down a bit so I’m still very well dressed, but minus the elegance, and plus a lil slut and probably some black boots”. It should also be stated that my gayness is part of both of these in varying degrees of intensity
I tag: @rosebudyke @negative-ghostriderr @sunshine-nb @severedned @seraphlesbian (y’all don’t have to if you don’t want to tho,but if you want message me! You all also seem very nice☺️)
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