#i’ll grab the ukulele and make a ten minute long apology music video tomorrow ok

[beware-of-you-98]

ok so the thing i was talking about the other day?? the lil thing i need that would heal me?? i’m just thinking about parallels and and

so hear me out:

when jj gets home from the hospital, she’s the one treating her wound the donor site on the side of her thigh because she doesn’t want will to see it for so long and when he does, he regards her with such pity and fear and the way her touches the area (even when it’s healed) is so tentative and it makes her feel… guilty?? shame??

she wears shirts for a long time when they’re intimate after that, and she won’t let him touch her on or near her left hip because she hates the feelings that flood her chest when he even grazes the area

when she gets together with emily, jj still keeps her shirts on whenever they’re physical, and she doesn’t let emily touch her in that area for the longest time because of the underlying guilt and shame she feels

she let’s emily feel her burn scar before she let’s emily see it. she guides her fingers underneath her shirt and uses the older woman’s fingers to trace the textured, wrinkled skin, the divot near the middle that had to be carved away due to infection because burns get infected so easily… and she watched emily’s face the entire time, taking in each twitch of her lips, the emotions swirling in her eyes…

and when emily looks back up at her, her expression isn’t full of pity, of fear, of sadness, but of admiration. she cups jj’s cheek with one hand, pressing her palm flush over the burn scar with the other, and whispers how resilient and strong willed jj is for going through the grueling process of healing from a burn, of healing from a horribly traumatic experience that caused the burn in the first place. her voice is so soft, so raw, and the way she’s looking at jj like she’s one of the strongest people emily knows…

it’s the first time in years she doesn’t feel ashamed of her burn scar.

and when emily kneels down and presses a kiss to the skin, showering it with such love and affection, jj knows she’s the one