#i’ll also note that your murder analogy is very dumb
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radfae · 2 years ago
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the potential protective effects of guns r outweighed by the negatives. having a gun in the house, whether purchased by urself or another, makes u much more likely to get injured or die (murder or suicide) by gunshot. even when attacked by someone else, if u use a gun to try to defend urself u are more likely to be injured than if u had called the cops or ran away. there are numerous studies confirming all this. since 2020 the leading cause of death for 1-19 y/o is guns. women r less likely to buy/use guns anyway, and women are threatened most by men close to them, not strangers, making women even less likely to turn their gun on them. yes criminals can try to find a way to get guns if they’re illegal but we can make it much harder to do so, otherwise what’s the point of laws? ppl murder ppl everyday, should we legalize murder since the law doesn’t stop em?
when australia, the UK, canada, new zealand and norway implemented gun control measures in response to mass shootings, gun violence of all kinds including mass shootings fell dramatically. here in the US, a law in 1994 that banned assault weapons & large-capacity mags lead to a decline in mass shootings. in the decade following the ban’s expiration in 04, mass shootings more than tripled.
the real problem is male violence, i agree 1000%. but easy access to guns makes that male violence so much more extensive & deadly, esp to women (more intimate partners are killed with guns than by all other methods combined) & children (familicide, anyone?). it’s so so easy and so so quick to kill a person or multiple people with a gun. common sense gun laws (universal background checks including at gun shows & private sales, mandatory waiting periods, banning assault weapons & high-capacity mags, raising the minimum age to buy a gun, closing the “boyfriend loophole”, hell we could even throw in a national buyback program) work. a few studies: https://injuryprevention.bmj.com/content/19/1/26 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26905895/ https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1619896114
i totally agree w/ u that male violence needs to be addressed, along with the necessity of a radical restructuring of society with women in charge and female separatism (add banning males from owning guns too, fuck it). but until that happens, we can do other things to save ppl NOW. don’t let perfect be the enemy of good
…yes, it’s a given that you’re much more likely to die by gunshot when there’s a gun in the house. i never said guns were safe. owning one is a responsibility and involves a level of risk. and a lot of the times people can’t run away, and calling the cops takes time (not to mention common police biases against women, the proletariat, black people, mentally ill/disabled people, etc) that may not be available to a person needing immediate defense. which is why, once again, i’ve said that in the event we do restrict gun access, it would be acceptable as a temporary solution for damage control purposes. i just don’t really think that’s feasible; the government isn’t going to give your guns back after successfully passing a law that so massively benefits them. besides, there’s other things we can do for damage control—upping security levels specifically at schools, making it so that people can’t enter the building as easily without a verification process, bulletproof glass, metal detectors, updating protocol so police don’t sit on their ass and wait for backup when there’s an active shooter on site, etc. those are only ideas off of the top of my head but there’s really a lot more we can do than taking away guns while we deal with the root of the problem
since you provided studies, i might as well throw one out there too:
https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/gun-ownership-provides-effective-self-defense-gun-control-p-142-149
A follow-up study of rape found that using a gun or knife for protection reduced the likelihood of a completed rape, and using a gun reduced the likelihood of injury to close to zero.
though, we could throw studies back and forth at each other all day—there’s so many out there regarding guns, since it’s been such a hot topic the past so many years. the fact of the matter is that i’m still going to be pro-gun 🤷‍♀️ i went down a liberal rabbit hole a while back and was pretty anti-gun before i was more radicalized and realized it’s a very flimsy solution with a lot of cons that benefits the bourgeoisie a lot more than the common man or woman. it’d probably take a lot to have me revert back
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hottestthingalive · 4 years ago
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Changes, Tricks, and Trust
He does what he can. And sometimes, doing what he can means that, when he opens the door for trick-or-treaters while his dad is wrangling Remus into his pirate costume and finds a man holding hands with a kid younger than even Roman and Remus (wearing a scientist costume and a cat costume, respectively,) who introduces himself as “Logan Abbott, and this is Patton. You must be Janus,” he just glares, and slams the door in their faces.
In which the Carroll siblings conspire against their father’s new boyfriend, Logan makes a promise, and Janus has a grudge against omelets. 
Notes: Look, okay, we’re all very aware this is two hours past Halloween, and an hour into No-Content November, but I wrote this in a day and am operating under the logic that it is both Halloween and not November somewhere, so let’s pretend we’re all okay with this and move on. Virgil also calls Roman and Remus peanut butter and jelly, which makes up for all my sins.
Roman also knows lots of words he shouldn’t at his age, because I am, in fact, projecting myself at six onto him. Let him have a big vocabulary! 
(He also mispronounces most of the words. This is still projecting. I apologize in advance.)
Many thanks to @smileyzs​, who stayed up far too late to help me edit, and the rest of @waffle-gang-incorrect-quotes​, who had to listen to me ranting about this as I wrote it. Y’all deserve the world. Thank you for putting up with me, and this fic. 
Warnings: Implied gore (but not really), food mentions (mostly candy), a fair bit of angst, Janus manipulating his brothers but not in an intentionally cruel way.
Relationships: Romantic Analogical, familial logicality, familial virgil, janus, roman and remus, platonic loceit, intrulogical, and logince. 
Words: 5328
Ao3
Enjoy!
“Roman, Remus,” Virgil says calmly, holding up a knife, stained with guts and gore, the key piece of evidence to the brutal mutilations of two innocents, “who decided to carve ‘Logan is a butt’ into our pumpkins?”
They point at each other, faces the picture of wide-eyed innocence. Virgil is not fooled. 
“Janus, do you know anything about this?” he asks, turning away from the twins to look at his nine year old, who is currently pretending to be very occupied with the book he is reading at the dinner table. Virgil wonders if Janus knows that he hasn’t turned a page in the last five minutes. Probably not. 
“Oh, why would I ever do that?” Janus wonders, looking up from the book, his puppy-eyes matching those of the twins. “It really is too bad though. Clearly, you can’t have Logan over for Halloween anymore. Tragic.” 
Virgil pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “Janus, you’re the only one tall enough to reach the knife block, and I found the knife hidden under Remus’ bed. I know it was you three.” He puts the knife down on the table, really hoping the pumpkin guts won’t stain the wood, and says “Kids, remember what we said about playing with knives without adult supervision?”
“Not to do it,” the twins mumble in unison. Janus says “Do it only when we’re in trouble, like defending ourselves from a vicious intruder about to invade our home?” instead, which was not the answer Virgil was looking for, and he’s very sure Janus knows it. 
“Look,” Virgil says, sitting down in one of the chairs that his kids have covered in fake cobwebs and pumpkin stickers, “I’ve already invited Logan and Patton over. And I… I really, really like him. A lot.” He turns a bit red, at that, and ignores Janus rolling his eyes. “But if you guys really think he’s that bad after you meet him tonight, I’ll break up with him, okay? You three are always going to be my top priority. Just promise me you’ll keep an open mind, yeah?” 
“Okay,” Roman agrees, and runs to jump up into Virgil’s lap, burying his head in Virgil’s shoulder. “I’m sorry we messed up the pumpkins and were mean to Mr. Logan, Dad.”
“It’s okay, peanut butter,” Virgil tells him. He expected Roman to be the apologetic one — for a six year old, his son has  developed quite the sense of right and wrong. He’s a bit more surprised when Remus does the same, squirming into the hug and saying “I’m sorry we called him a butt.” He snickers, a bit, which makes Virgil think he’s not all that sorry, but he lets it go. 
“Thank you, jelly,” he says, and looks expectantly at Janus. 
“Sure, whatever,” Janus says, snapping the book closed. “I’m sorry we messed up your decorations, Dad.”
“I don’t care about the decorations, hon,” Virgil reminds him. “I’m just glad you guys didn’t get hurt, okay? No more knives. Now c’mere, Jan.”
Janus begrudgingly joins the hug, wrapping his arms around Virgil and the twins both, and they just sit like that, Virgil and his children, in the quiet of the kitchen. 
“Okay,” he says finally, “let's get you into your costumes, yeah?”
Janus just wants his dad to be happy. 
He saw what happened the last times his dad went on dates. He got all excited. Dressed up. Kissed his sons goodbye, smiling and happy and practically dancing on clouds. 
And then, one day, he’d come home a bit off. He’d put on a smile, he’d act like everything was fine, but then he’d make them omelets for dinner. 
Janus hates omelets, because Dad only makes omelets when he’s sad. 
He’s heard his dad talking about it on the phone late at night with Uncle Remy, who isn’t really their uncle, but who calls himself their uncle every time he comes over anyways. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Dad will say, with his voice choked up like he’s crying, and Janus will stand with his back against the door and hear Remy’s voice murmur something soothing, always including curse words about his dad’s ex which Janus isn’t supposed to know the meanings of.
Janus isn’t supposed to be up, on those nights. But he is, usually, staying up after they’re put to bed every time Dad makes omelets for dinner, because he knows that once he hangs up, he can wander into his dad’s room with some mumbled excuse about nightmares and do his best to comfort him without mentioning the breakup at all. 
He does what he can. And sometimes, doing what he can means that, when he opens the door for trick-or-treaters while his dad is wrangling Remus into his pirate costume and finds a man holding hands with a kid younger than even Roman and Remus (wearing a scientist costume and a cat costume, respectively,) who introduces himself as “Logan Abbott, and this is Patton. You must be Janus,” he just glares, and slams the door in their faces. 
“Who was that?” his dad asks as he enters the room, holding Remus in his arms, who is finally in his costume, and not running around naked, as he has been for the last eight minutes. 
“No one,” Janus says, the picture of innocence, and then the doorbell rings again. “I’ll get it!”
“No, it’s fine,” his dad says, already crossing the room towards the door. “I’ve got it, honey. Thank you, though!”
He opens the door, and his face transforms, going from Regular-Dad-Face to his Sappy-Dumb-Blushy-Face. Janus hates the Sappy-Dumb-Blushy-Face.
“Logan!” Dad says, all high-pitched and pink cheeks, and Janus braces himself to be ratted out by stupid, stupid Logan Abbott. Which is a stupid name, too.
“Hello, Virgil,” says dumb, stupid, Dad-stealing Logan, whose voice is all soft, which just gets Janus angrier, because he’s making an effort to sound genuine about it. “And you must be one of the twins. What’s your name?”
Janus feels rather gratified when Remus just sticks out his tongue, though less so when his dad says “Remus, be nice,” in his Please, Kids, We Talked About This voice. “Come in! This is Janus, and Roman should be right down.”
Logan looks over at Janus as the door closes behind him, and Janus crosses his arms over his chest. He waits for him to say “Ah, yes, we met earlier,” or “Right, I remember,” or even “He slammed the door in our faces earlier,” but all that Logan says is “It’s nice to meet you, Janus,” with the kind of smile that sappy people in movies wear. He thinks, reluctantly, that it’s a nice smile, and that the kid, at least, doesn’t seem so bad.
“Octopus!” says the boy beside him, pointing at Janus, with pure glee in his big brown eyes. “Octopus!”
“I’m a kraken,” he grumbles, all kind thoughts towards his dad’s stupid boyfriend and his dumb kid gone. 
This Halloween is gonna suck. 
“You’re a dumb scientist,” Remus says to Mr. Logan, arms crossed across his chest, as Roman and Janus mutter together behind them, his dad walking with the little kid who had introduced himself as ‘Patpat!’ and whom the adults call ‘Patton’. His dad has managed to fix the pumpkins, despite all odds, and they look rather nice as they walk away, off into the wilds of the neighborhood for some trick-or-treating. 
Remus has been designated the distraction while his brothers figure out a way to get Logan Abbott to go home and leave their dad alone. “You’re good at being a distraction!” Roman chirps, and Janus mutters “And you won’t betray us like Roman would.” 
He is good at being a distraction. And he loves his dad more than anything (except maybe his brothers) and Janus is very smart, and if he says getting Mr. Logan to go away will make their dad happy, Remus will believe him. 
Plus, it is a dumb costume. 
“Why am I a dumb scientist?” asks Mr. Logan, who doesn’t seem very insulted by this, merely curious. 
“Your lab coat is covered in green and blue and red,” Remus tells him, using his sword to point at the splotches. “Everyone knows potions are green and blue and purple. And you’re a butt.”
“Well,” Mr. Logan says, and though his eyes curl up like he’s smiling, his expression is still neutral, “I had my assistant deal with all the purple ones, because purple potions smell bad.” (Remus wants to laugh at that, just a little bit.) “And the red isn’t from potions.”
“What’s the red, then?” asks Remus, despite himself. 
“The blood of my enemies,” says Mr. Logan matter-of-factly. 
“Cool,” he breathes, looking at Logan with newfound respect. “Why’d you murder them?”
“I am an evil scientist,” he answers, adjusting his glasses. “It is in the job description.”
“Cool!”
“Also a butt as well, apparently,” Mr. Logan adds thoughtfully. “I wonder if I can add that to my official scientist business cards. ‘Dr. Logan Abbott, Mad Scientist and Butt Extraordinaire.’”
“Bad guys get business cards?” Remus asks, having forgotten altogether about being a distraction. “I’m a pirate. Do I get a business card?”
“Are you a good pirate or a bad pirate?”
“I’m a bad pirate,” he declares, waving his sword in the air. “Roro is a prince-sailor-man, like Prince Eric from Disney, and Janny is an evil kraken we have to team up against! And Dad is a wicked witch who sent the kraken.” 
“A wicked witch, huh?” Mr. Logan says, glancing behind him at where Dad and Patton are. Remus follows his gaze. Dad certainly doesn’t look very wicked, even though he’s wearing a cloak and a hat and scary makeup, but maybe that’s just because he’s smiling, holding hands with Mr. Logan’s kid as Patton babbles on about something. 
It’s hard for his dad to look evil in general, to Remus at least, but especially when he smiles. He’s never found Dad to be very scary, not like he’d been able to spook Roman and Janus every so often, but when he’s smiling, when he’s happy, he just looks like home. 
And Mr. Logan looks so happy, too, looking at his dad, and, well, Roman is the romantic of the house, but Remus has been forced to sit through every one of his brother’s Disney movie watchings, and his favorite movie had always been the Princess Bride (which Dad thinks is too old for Remus and Roman, but lets them watch with him and Janus anyways.) Mr. Logan looks like all the movies, all the descriptions in books, all the stories of love Remus has ever heard. Love-struck, his mind supplies. 
“Yes,” Mr. Logan says, looking back at Remus, that lovey-dovey gaze gone but his eyes still so, so happy, “I think you’d get a business card. What would you put on it?”
He grins, and starts describing his Evil Pirate Captain Remus Caroll cards. Privately, he thinks that, no matter what Janus says, anyone who looks at his dad like that can’t be so bad. 
Plus, Logan’s evil, like him. And he’s okay with being called a butt, which means maybe he’ll teach Remus more, even better insults. 
“Aw, beans,” Roman says when he sees Remus happily chatting with the enemy. Janus has stronger language in mind, the kind of words that would get him grounded. 
Sure enough, when Remus returns to them, carrying his candy basket in one hand and his sword in the other, he scuffs his sneaker-clad foot against the ground in a way that Janus knows to mean I’m about to say something you really won’t like. 
“He’s nice,” Remus says defiantly, and Janus scoffs. 
Fine. He has to do everything himself, huh?
If it’s up to him to protect their dad from Logan Abbott, that’s fine. He just has to keep Roman on his side for as long as possible, right?
“So you’re abandoning us?!” he snaps anyways, because despite everything, he’s hurt. He didn’t think Remus, of all people, would turn so quickly. “What about Dad?”
“I think he likes Dad!” Remus protests. “A lot! It’s like all those Disney movies!” 
Roman looks between them, clearly conflicted. Uh-oh, Janus thinks. 
“Hans seemed like he liked Anna a lot!” he answers, hands on his hips. “We’ve got to be Dad’s heroes, right, Roman?”
Roman’s expression solidifies into righteous anger. “We gotta keep Dad safe,” he agrees, reaching out to hold Janus’ hand. Janus, meanwhile, tries to ignore Remus’ hurt expression the best he can.
“Here,” he says, reaching into his bag and digging out a pack of gummy worms. “I know they’re your favorite.” 
Remus’ expression brightens as Janus drops them into his candy basket. “Thanks, Janjan!” he says, beaming.
“Just don’t get in our way,” he says, and turns towards Logan.
“Okay, Roman,” he says. “You know what to do.”
His brother trots forwards, successfully swapping places with Remus, who drops back to go walk with Dad and Patton. Janus comes up on Logan’s other side, pointedly looking at the ground.
“Hello, Roman, Janus,” Logan says. “How is trick-or-treating going?”
“Good!” Roman says, cheery as always, though Janus can see his hands trembling. Janus doesn’t respond. 
“I like your costume,” Logan tells his brother, and sounds almost sincere about it. “You’re a prince, right?”
“A sea-prince!” Roman declares, puffing out his chest. “Thank you, Mr. Logan!” Janus shoots him a glare, and Roman just winks. He blinks, taming his expression slightly. 
Huh. Seems Roman is being much smarter about this than he had thought. 
“Y’know,” Roman says, cheery as ever, “Dad’s told us so much about you, Mr. Logan!”
“Does he?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. “What does he tell you, then?” 
“Wellllll,” Roman hums, turning on the puppy-eyes. “I’m not sure you want to know, Mr. Logan.”
“If you don’t want to tell me, that is perfectly fine,” Logan answers, which is both completely against the plan and infuriatingly heartfelt. 
“He says you’re, uh, stupid,” Janus mutters, taking matters into his own hands. 
“Yes!” Roman exclaims. “Very stupid. And, and a big ol’ butt! And a meanie. And insuff-bly rude to your co-workers.”
Janus barely resists to smack a hand to his face — that last bit is stolen word for word from Uncle Remy’s rants to Dad about his boss when he comes over for dinner, and mispronounced at that! — but it seems to have worked, as Logan looks rather shocked.
“Oh, did he?” he asks, seemingly distressed. Yes! “Oh dear. That’s not very kind of him, was it?”
“Nope!” Janus answers, suddenly cheerful. Yes, yes! Now stupid Logan would go away, and Dad would be safe, and there would be no omelets for dinner or anything-
“I’d better go talk to him about it,” Logan says decisively. No, no, NO!
“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Roman says, experiencing the same panic, but Logan is already dropping back to walk beside Dad, picking up Patton, who giggles and throws his arms around Logan to hug him. 
“Damn it!” Janus exclaims, stomping in his anger. 
“You cursed!” Roman says in shock, pointing at him. 
“Yes, Roman, I cursed,” he snaps. “That didn’t work at all!” 
Roman looks on the verge of crying, and he instantly regrets it. “Sorry, Ro,” he says, reaching out to take his brother’s hand again. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It was my dumb plan.”
“It wasn’t dumb,” Roman says, sniffling. “Mr. Logan’s the dumb one.”
“Yeah,” Janus agrees, and glances back at his dad and Logan. Dad looks all smitten again, and Logan, disgustingly, looks equally sappy. “We’re not gonna get anything done with them like that. Let’s… let’s just trick or treat with Remus for now, okay? We’ve got this.”
“Okay,” Roman agrees, and pulls Janus back to where their brother is happily munching on a Snickers bar. 
They do end up having fun. And with Patton there, for all the dumb, costume-mistaking kid’s faults, adults are too busy cooing over him to care that Janus and Roman and Remus take a few pieces of candy from the bowls. 
Okay, Janus thinks as they return to the house, time for Plan B. 
Roman glares at the villainous intruder seated beside his father on the couch, as he and Remus and Janus trade candy on the floor. He’ll thwart this Logan Abbott’s evil plans! He’s a prince, after all!
“I’m gonna start making dinner,” Dad says, standing up. “I know it’s late, sorry. How does grilled cheese sound?”
“That sounds amazing,” the villain says, smiling like Hans at Anna in the beginning of the movie. “Do you want any help?”
“Just watch the kids for me, please?” Dad asks, and Roman nearly gags as he kisses the Hans-ome Villain on the cheek. Hadn’t Dad learned anything from Frozen?!
“Yeah, of course,” agrees Roman’s nefarious nemesis. Roman narrows his eyes, and checks again to make sure the fireplace is off, and that Mr. Logan — no, Dr. Logan, he’s too evil to be a mister, just look at his lab coat! — is sufficiently blocked off from it. He’s not a snowman, and neither are his brothers, but one could never be too careful! Princes always made sure to have all of their weaknesses defended against!
Janus follows their dad into the kitchen, but not before he glances at Roman and mouths Keep him busy, as he points at their vile adversary. It also could have been Reap the city, but Roman is pretty sure that doesn’t make any sense. 
Remus, the traitor, is playing with Patton. “I’m the tickle zombie!” he declares loudly, sticking out his tongue and making groaning noises, wiggling his fingers at Patton, who squeals in excitement and darts away. “Twickle zomvie!” he yells to his father, who nods gravely. 
“You had best run, Patton,” Mr. Logan tells him. “I hear tickle zombies are ruthless creatures.”
“Tickle zombie,” Remus groans in agreement, and Patton screams again, running towards the kitchen. 
There is silence in the living room for a few minutes after that, until Logan finally says “What’s your favorite kind of candy, Roman?” 
“Like I’d tell you that, you mal-volent maley-factor!” he exclaims, drawing his sword and pointing it at him. “You’d probably poison all the Starbursts!” He quickly realizes his mistake, and does his best to look even fiercer.
“Why would I do that? I like them too, I’ll have you know,” Mr. Logan says, though he looks rather surprised. “How old are you, Roman?”
“...Six,” he says grudgingly, when he can’t figure out how this bad-natured boyfriend of Dad’s would use his age against him. 
“You have a very impressive vocabulary for six, Roman,” the execrable evil-doer tells him, raising an eyebrow.
“Janus and Dad and kindergarten taught me to read,” he says proudly. “And we ran out of books for me, so I’ve been reading the dictionary when we can’t go to the library!”
“That is very impressive,” Mr. Logan repeats. “What’s your favorite book?”
“It’s-” he starts, but then remembers Mr. Logan is the enemy. “None of your beeswax!”
Mr. Logan doesn’t seem as hurt by that as Roman would have expected, and silence reigns over the living room for a few minutes (save for when Patton and Remus come sprinting in and out of it). Roman finally lowers his sword, putting it beside him. 
“I can teach you to use that,” the atrocious antagonist says finally, gesturing to the sword. 
“What?” Roman asks, immediately on the defense. “I can use it fine, Padre’s poisonous partner!” 
“I’m sure you can,” Mr. Logan says, adjusting his glasses, “and a very good insult, by the way, but I took fencing for many years. I can at least give you a few tips, hm?”
“...Fine,” Roman agrees, intrigued despite his best efforts.
Besides, how bad can loathsome Mr. Logan be if he likes Starbursts, anyways?
Janus knows he has lost Roman when he comes bounding into the room when Dad says “Dinner!” exclaiming “Dad, can I take fencing?” 
“Logan Abbott,” Dad says, far too affectionate, “have you been teaching my son sword-fighting?”
“Maybe just a bit,” Logan says, not-so-subtly returning the broom to its place near the back door. “Is that… Is that alright?”
“Of course it’s alright,” Dad replies, handing him a plate of grilled cheese, complete with tomato soup. “It’s very sweet of you. This is all he’ll be talking about for months, though, I hope you know that.”
“It’s so cool, Dad!” Roman exclaims, proving his point. Remus is already sitting besides Patton, tearing into his grilled cheese, and Janus feels something cold settle into his stomach. 
“Brothers conference, now,” he declares, standing up and marching towards the living room. He’s gratified to see that the twins still follow him, at least, even if they have been swayed to the side of Logan Abbott. 
“I like him, Jan!” Roman says immediately, eyes wide and pleading. “He’s nice! And Dad likes him, and Remus does too!” 
“And Patton’s great too,” Remus adds, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t wanna be mean to them!”
“What about Dad?” Janus exclaims, desperate. “Remember the last time we liked one of Dad’s dates?” 
He’s referring to She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named, who had looked so nice in photos, who Dad had spoken of like an angel, but who had met them with a fixed smile and broken up with Dad only a few weeks later. Remus’ face falls, but Roman’s expression only hardens. 
“Logan’s not like that,” he insists. “We won’t help you anymore, Jan.” 
His brothers leave him alone in the living room, and Janus scowls at the ground. Fine. If they won’t help him, he’ll do it himself. He doesn’t need them anyways!
He ignores the choking feeling in his chest and the burning at the corners of his eyes as he returns to the table. 
Fine. 
Patton likes Virgil and his family. 
Remus is funny, and Roman knows all about all the princesses, and Janus, for all his grumpy-wumpies, has the best costume. And Virgil is so nice, and makes the best jokes, too!
Patton is all of four years old, and he, quite honestly, finds himself liking everything and everyone. But he especially likes his Papa’s boyfriend’s family. 
They’re nice. And they make his papa happy, too, and he doesn’t feel scared around them at all. He’s pretty sure Janus could beat up any monsters in his octopus — no, kraken — costume anyways. 
Janus looks sad when he comes back to the table, face all red and angry, and Patton reaches across to pat him on one of his tentacles. “You’re a very good kwaken,” he says.
Janus just stares at him. “...Sure, whatever,” he answers, turning away and taking a huge bite out of his grilled cheese. Patton is impressed, frankly. 
Papa has told him that Virgil being his boyfriend means that he and Virgil are like Nate-from-daycare’s parents, romantic partners. Patton asked if that means if he and Virgil are gonna get married someday, like Nate’s, and his dad’s face turned all red. “Maybe,” he said. 
Patton hopes so. He’d like to have Virgil as his other dad, he thinks. Virgil is nice. And Patton has begged for siblings so many times that getting Janus and Remus and Roman in the bargain is like what his dad says about cool things — bee’s knees. They’re like the bee’s knees!
So, Patton is hopeful. 
He pats Janus’ tentacles once more. Hopefully, his maybe-future-big-brother will feel better soon. 
“I just want to stay up for an extra hour, Dad,” Janus says, nearly pleading. “It’s Halloween! Just until Mr. Logan goes home.” 
His dad looks desperately between him and Logan, who is sitting in the living room with Patton in his lap, snoozing against his chest. The twins had fallen asleep halfway through the movie, and Dad is holding Roman in his arms, Remus already tucked in upstairs. 
“It’s alright, Virgil,” Logan says. “It is Halloween, and I’m trapped here anyways.” He gestures to Patton on his lap, and Dad laughs at that. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”
“Thank you so much, L,” Janus’ dad says, obviously relieved. “I’ll be right down, okay?”
“Okay,” Logan nods, returning Dad’s smile with one of his own. 
“You should just go now,” Janus says once his dad is upstairs. “You ruined Halloween. And Dad hates you, and we hate you, so you should just go home!”
“I am aware that you don’t like me, Janus,” Logan tells him softly, far too nice. He’s the kind of wonderful guy that would have Dad making omelets for days afterwards, unbearably sad. “And… I must confess, I do not understand why. Do I truly make you that uncomfortable?” 
“I don’t care about you,” he snaps, sinking back into the couch cushions, refusing to look at Logan, eyes on the credits rolling across the TV screen instead. “But I won’t let you hurt my dad.” 
“Hurt your father?” Logan repeats, eyes wide. “Why on Earth would I do that?”
It is late, and Janus is tired, and he still feels like crying. And so he finds himself spilling it all, from the omelets to She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named to his dad’s calls with Uncle Remy. He’s crying, he finds, partway through, and Logan doesn’t reach out to hug him or anything like that, but he listens. He nods, and he asks questions at all the right times, and passes Janus the tissues from the coffee table whenever he needs them. 
“Janus,” Logan Abbott says when he is done, and he looks like he wants to cry, too, “may I promise you something, now?”
Janus nods, too tired to do anything else, and he gets the feeling that if he had shaken his head, Logan would have respected that, would have remained silent. 
“I swear,” Logan says, fiercely passionate, “I have no intention of hurting your father, or your brothers, or you, in any shape or form. If I should do so, I would be a person who does not deserve you, your father, or your brothers in any shape or form anyways, as family or friends or even acquaintances.” He takes a deep breath, and Janus realizes his eyes are glittering with tears when he lifts his hand to wipe them away. “I did not mean to intrude on your family, and if you fear for your father around me, or dislike me that much, it is not my place to remain here. You will always be Virgil’s priority, as you should be, and I would never keep myself in his life if I made his son that unhappy.” 
“Okay,” Janus says, voice small. 
There is silence, after that, and much sniffling, and Janus thinks. 
He thinks about his brothers, who have taken to the Abbotts so quickly. He thinks about Patton who, in the end, isn’t such a bad kid. He thinks about his dad, who seems so happy around Logan, who had asked them to keep an open mind that afternoon, who would be so sad if he had to break up with Logan, even for Janus’ sake, though he’d never say it.
He thinks about Logan, who seems so sincere, and who isn’t really anything like She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named, or any of the others who had made his dad cry, who Janus thinks he could like one day, who could maybe be his dad too. 
“I guess you can stay,” Janus says, watching the TV carefully, and in the reflection, he can just barely see Logan relax. “For now.”
“Thank you, Janus,” he says. 
“If you hurt my dad, though, I’ll kill you myself,” Janus tells him, and means it. 
“I’d deserve it,” Logan answers simply, and for that, more than anything else, Janus starts to like Logan. He doesn’t laugh at the threat, or threaten him back, or even ignore it. 
He takes it seriously. He considers it. And he finds it justified. 
Yes, Janus thinks. With enough time, and maybe a little candy-related bribery (it is Halloween, after all) he could like Logan Abbott. 
“I had a lovely time tonight,” Logan says. Patton is in the car, strapped into his carseat with the driver’s door open just in case, still sleeping away, and Virgil has long since put Janus to bed, too. 
It is late. The moon is full overhead, a watchful eye on a quiet world, and it shines down on Logan and Virgil, who linger still in the doorway. 
“I’m glad,” Virgil smiles, though the expression falters quickly. He reaches up to Logan’s cheek, finger brushing at a stray tear track. “Have you been crying?”
“Janus and I had a bit of a heart-to-heart,” he explains, intertwining his own fingers with those of Virgil’s free hand. 
“The boys seemed to like you,” Virgil says, and though he looks no less concerned, he smiles anyways. 
“I liked them too,” Logan laughs, a shy, soft thing. “And Patton adores you, of course. I knew he would.” 
“I’d say I’m amazed they warmed up to you so quickly, but I’m not,” his boyfriend tells him, and grins, truly grins, mischievous and light and so full of love that it makes Logan feel dizzy. “You’re so wonderful, I’m surprised it took even that long.” 
“Flirt,” Logan accuses, but he steps closer anyways. The night is chilly, but he hardly notices next to Virgil Carroll, who seems to exist to provide warmth and light to the universe. “They were very protective of you.”
“Perhaps they have reason to be,” Virgil says thoughtfully, smile widening. “What with you around, standing on my doorstep in the dead of night, not kissing your boyfriend goodbye. That ought to be a crime, I think. Look at me, associating with criminals. You’ve turned me bad already!” 
Logan rolls his eyes but leans down to kiss Virgil anyways, a chaste, sweet thing that still manages to take his breath away. “You are incorrigible.” 
“You love me and you know it,” Virgil tells him. 
“I do,” Logan agrees. “Very much.”
They hug goodbye, and steal one or three or eight more goodbye kisses, and before he knows it Logan is driving away, off into the quiet of the moonlight. 
There is something magical about Halloween, he has always thought. A magic of change, and of tricks, and of trust, too. 
Virgil’s sons like me. A change. 
They attempted to drive me away, but Virgil had warned me ahead of time that might be the case, so I did, admittedly, have the upper hand. A trick. 
Janus, as of now, will let me stay. A trust, the trust of a boy who will do anything to protect his father. 
Above all else, Logan decides, he will not betray that. 
There are other Halloweens, of course, and there are other holidays, too. There are presents, and laughter, and the occasional argument, but one that is always resolved by the next day, and Janus receives that candy bribe, as well.
There are still omelet nights. There might always be. But now, instead of calling Uncle Remy, Virgil starts to call Logan, on these nights, seeking comfort when work goes badly or one of his sons is hurt or in the midst of just a truly bad day. And eventually, there will be no need for calls at all, for Logan is there to make toast and offer cuddles and tuck the boys in bed on those rough days, and, after he is supposed to be asleep, Janus will see his dad and a man who is almost, maybe, very close to being his father too, curled up together, offering support and comfort and love. 
Logan has his bad days, too. And so do Janus, and Roman, and Remus, and Patton. But none of them have to face them alone. 
One day, many Halloweens later, Janus will call Logan ‘Papa’ for the first time, sleepily, halfway through Hocus Pocus, and they will both cry, just a little bit. 
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carlyjyll · 8 years ago
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Review! Hemlock Grove: Part 2 Numinosum, Part 2
Time to dive back into that wacky Gothic adventure by Brian McGreevy called Hemlock Grove. There will be SPOILERS!
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I decided to split Part 2 into two parts. This is Part 2 of Part 2 (pages 148-252). Part 1 of Part 2 here
Review Time!
So in my last review, Olivia passed the hell out once again. Norman comes and rescues her by promptly sticking his dick in her... God, I love this book! Anyways Roman drives Norman home and on the way there Norman sees a little boy with a push-up pop, just sliding it up and down and sadly I have to admit that that boy is me. Though I’d usually get too nervous that the ice cream would fall out that I’d knock it off. We get some male bonding time with Norman being enamored with Roman wanting to murder whoever got Letha pregnant. Cute.
Speaking of Letha she’s hanging out with Roman (YAY!) and says that “Aunt Olivia isn’t one of [Norman’s] favorite subjects.” I WONDER WHY? But besides that little irony, we find out that JR’s suicide letter came a day after his suicide. I have to say that I still love Letha and Peter’s interactions in my notes at the end of this chapter all I wrote was Letha +Peter <3
The next chapter title is The Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off. Is that a Panic! At The Disco reference? Like that has to be. I see you McGreevy! Also I have to say that Part 2 has the most chapter titles that sound like 2005′s Billboards Top 100 and I am here for it! My inner emo is sooo excited.
The whole chapter though is Christina getting back into the ‘real’ world by going on a date with the Tyler boy and the twins helping her. BTW the twins are fucking idiots, like they have their moments of not being dumb but UGH! Maybe they annoy me because I had like six of those girls I hung out with in school. Awww those treacherous memories. I will say though that those annoying girls at my school never had such good vocabulary as the twins do, so props to them? 
I really relate to Christina though, like on a sad level. This girl is having a mental breakdown to envy every other mental breakdown, yet I’m over here nodding along going: “Me. Me. Me. Fucking ME!” My poor girl Christina having PTSD on her date. (Side note; what the fuck is sweet boy breath???)
The other dude who had “Seen the dragon” is dead so can’t back up Mr. Pullman’s story.
Roman and Peter go to the old steel factory where Peter becomes that uncle to Roman. You know the one that’s only there because his sister promised him two six packs of his favorite beer and is just fucking done with these kids? That is the best way I can explain Peter and Roman at this time. While Peter is babysitting Roman they end up finding the other half of Lisa Willoughby’s body. Roman wants to leave but the cops end up taking him downtown to the police department, leaving Peter with Roman’s car. I always love when Roman talks with the police, mainly because he knows he can say whatever he wants and not be killed by them, like imagine that. What a world.
We get an email from Shelley! Unfortunately, this is the saddest email we get. It starts with Shelley telling Norman she knows of the affair with Olivia. Which shit. Then she goes into this hyper-real fight that Roman, Olivia, and Shelley had over the fact that Shelley had the audacity to not only buy but WEAR earrings. How goddamn divine! I really got some Quasimodo vibes from this section when she went into wanting to be feminine and have feminine things but also when JR basically said she was a monster and should have been aborted. To his credit though JR did leave Roman everything in the will, which I guess is good? Better than Olivia having it?
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 In the next chapter, we learn that Francis Pullman is dead. Which means that there are no witnesses to the sleep study experiments or to Brooke Bluebell’s murder.
Then if you thought that fight with the Godfrey family was sad then get ready for Peter breaking up with Roman. I’m not kidding. Peter breaks up their Scooby-Doo gang. Which I don’t blame him, Roman’s a fucking creep who needs a world of help that I don’t even all his money could buy, but still. That was a really awful breakup scene. Before leaving Roman says, “You know if you fuck my cousin, I’ll kill you.”
Which, drum roll please!!! Letha ends up going back to Peter’s trailer, where she clearly wants the d, but Peter is having none of it. Like the boy is thinking about cats when he’s got smoking weirdly hot pregnant girl wanting to ride him till the sun comes up. Letha literally could have been wearing a shirt that said, “DUDE I WANT THE D.” And Peter’s dumb ass still wouldn’t get it.
While that is going on, over at the Godfrey mansion Roman is explaining to us visually how much his mother has fucked him up by snorting coke, drinking, and cutting himself on the temple to put the blood on himself in the name of make-up. Thank you, Roman. Fortunately, Dr. Chasseur comes by to question Roman and her description/analogy of Roman is spot on. 
“She regarded the boy: a narcissistic, insecure, oversensitive, and under parented adolescent heir to the Fortune 500 company with a substance abuse problem and homoerotic tendencies.” Like that’s all you need to know about Roman. Maybe add incest next to homoerotic tendencies and that’s him.
We go back to Peter’s trailer and...
PETER FINALLY GETS IT!!! LETHA GET YOUR D, BABY GIRL! THANK YOU, DEAR GOD!
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Unfortunately, Roman decided to ruin my moment of rejoicing by watching them. FUCKING ROMAN! If that’s not enough the vile-being that is Roman decides to go to this girl from his class Ashley's house and be a fucking gnome on her lawn??? I wish that was all he did, but no. They start to have sex but then Ashley wants to back out and Roman’s not here for your consensual sex, thank you very much. And honestly I thought this scene was something the TV show made up, but it’s not. All I can say though is 1) the scene was written very, very well and I’m glad that McGreevy chose to tell it from Ashley’s POV; all her thoughts were very realistic so once again kudos to McGreevy. 2) Roman is shown as being an ugly person and even knows it. Though that doesn’t excuse any of his actions what-so-ever.
We move on to the next chapter where Roman visits Dr. Pryce and the Godfrey Institute, snorting waaaaaayyyy more coke than anyone should and promptly overdoses. Good one Roman. Good one. Also Roman is such the scorned boyfriend after a breakup like good GOD.
The next part of was of JR’s suicide letter to Norman which answered/confirmed a few things but was still cryptic as hell. We have another Norman conversation with Christina where she still very well believes that Peter is the killer. In another section, we learn that Christina is dreaming of Mr. Pullman. On top of that we have Letha finding out about Letha and Peter making me live to have a relationship which prompts Letha to invite Peter over for dinner but not before we learn that Roman’s in a coma, I know it’s really serious.
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(Why does this book give me so many Smith vibes?)
So Peter’s reluctant to go to dinner because he doesn’t really do the whole boyfriend thing which ironically works out because Norman approves of him. Like most people would kill for their SO’s parents to even acknowledge their existence and Peter just shows up and everyone loves him. (Except Marie, but never mind about her, she’s got the Godfrey fortunes to take care of!)
While Norman approves of Peter the dickweeds at school don’t and Alex fucking Finster and his crew start to beat up on him. The worst thing about this scene is not that they're just trying to edge Peter on to fight them because their trying to win whos-the-worst-in-Pennsylvania award but that Alex’s friend Tom made the same joke I did about Roman :( What does that say about me? Or is McGreevy just wanting to throw that little music nod in like he did with P!ATD. Hmmmmmmm.
This fight scene actually made me cringe awfully and get so mad at Alex and co. But THANK GOD LETHA CAME TO HIS RESCUE! AND YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T WANT A GIRLFRIEND PETER. After they get Peter some steak to slap on his face and some pot to take away the pain Olivia decides to host a Godfrey slumber party back at her house! Which goes really terribly when Peter doesn’t tell Letha that he’s a werewolf but tells her that he’s going to kill the thing killing the other girls and then tells her to stay inside.  To convince her that she should he throws a lamp and calls Letha a “stupid little bitch.” (Good one.) To Peter’s credit, he feels really bad about this and thinks everything is a “giant big black hole of suck.” Which yeah, is an understatement.
Part 2 ends with Roman waking up. DUHN DUHN DUHN!!!
So that’s the end of my Part 2 of Part  2 of Hemlock Grove!
I’m almost done with this book, which is making me a little sad. This world McGreevy’s created is so real and the characters are so interesting. Though I’m really hyped for Part 3 and I can’t wait to dive into that, but before I do I gotta give a shout-out to the man who wrote Hemlock Grove; Brian McGreevy.
McGreevy is making me look at my books and poems and be like “Look at this fine garbage I made.” He’s such a good writer! I know I make fun of a lot of things in the reviews, but that’s always about the characters being the characters. (or if I see a P!ATD reference the inner emo in me is gonna call you out. I mean how can’t I?) But my God the guy can write all these, for the most part really shitty people, such diverse and interesting characters and he does it so well! I salute you McGreevy! I gotta say you’ve inspired me to go over all my work again and not be afraid to make my characters ugly.
BONUS! Favorite Quotes! 
“Well that sounds goddamn divine.”- Olivia being Olivia
“Kiss my black ass.” - Roman, the whitest white dude to white
“That doesn’t mean blow him a fucking kiss.”- Peter being that uncle to Roman.
“Every cat is a woman”- Peter before getting laid.
Stay tuned for my Part 4 of this Review!
But in the meantime…
Check out Brian McGreevy’s website here !
Buy his book, Hemlock Grove here!
If you haven’t seen the Hemlock Grove on Netflix go and give it a look!
Part 1, Part 2, Part 4
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