#i wpuld have. kept drinking. until throwing up probably
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Ok i had a panic attack and now everything is allright un the world
#partner stayed with me for a while now im sleeping hopefully#im still drunk tho#actually im lying i still want to do. bad things#at least#theres no more alcohol left#cuz if not#i wpuld have. kept drinking. until throwing up probably#i dont even inow what i said to them i just inow ive made a fool of myslef crying gaspung for aur on the floor. kms#this is so embarasing#they kept saying i didnt have anything to be sorry about but i think i fo this om purpose#its the second tume i yave a panic attack while they are hanging out with their friends on the internet#and if im honest im kind of lashing out#i dotn inow what im going to do in my home town. what if i see him. ehat if he reaches out what if he wants to talk to me#i inow i want to day yes and i want to see him and i want him to tell me that hes sorry and that he misses me and maybe#that he wants a last kiss and i will tell him yes. after telling him that just thinking of his name majes me want to kms#or worse#what if i never see him and he never reaches out ehat if it doesnt even matter to him anymore#he doesnt even know what hes done to me. i cannot function like before because of ehat happened#and hes better? i inow hes better cause ive stalked his socials cause im insane#i wish he wasnt#i still feel like throwing up when i remember him. and hes better? i wish he was suicidal. as i am#vent#sui mention#sorry
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