#i wouldn't mind a situationship at all if i knew i wasn't in the right headspace to date then or vise versa for the other person ofc people

[chappellrroan]

and why?

reblog after voting!!

[dreamescapeswriting]

Whispered Confessions ~ JJK

⤜ WORD COUNT: 3.3K

⤜ PAIRING: Jungkook x fem!Reader

⤜GENRE: established relationships, friends-with-benefits, situationship, breakups, happy ending, angst, love confessions

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - August 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

 "This was a dumb idea," You grumble to Simon as he took your hand in his and continued to sway with you in time to the music. Tonight you were supposed to be having a small get-together with a couple of friends and yet somehow it had turned into a small house party where people were already way past wasted.

"It's fine, Yn. You and Jungkook will still get to spend some time together later," Simon teased and you shot him a look. He knew that you and Jungkook hadn't really spent much time together since you'd been a little rushed off your feet with work and tonight was the one chance you had to hang out again.

"But then again, if he took you seriously you wouldn't have to beg for his attention," Simon grumbled a little. It was safe to say he wasn't the most fond of your "friendship" with Jungkook but you actively avoided talking about it with Simon since you knew his viewpoint on it all.

"Si," You sighed a little, not wanting to hear the same lecture you'd heard a million times before tonight. You knew how people felt about your situationship with Jungkook but it still didn't change how you felt about him.

"I'm serious. What do you even see in him? Is the dick really that good if he ignores you all the time?" Your hands dropped from Simon and you pushed your way through the house, Simon hot on your trail as you reached the kitchen and grabbed a drink from the fridge.

"Ignoring me won't make it go away, you know that right," Simon said as you stared at him, glancing over your shoulder at Jungkook who was currently surrounded by girls all giggling and twirling strands of hair around their fingers.

"He's using you...you know that right?" Simon wasn't one to hold back when it came to you. Sometimes he knew you just needed someone to tell you how it was and make you see straight but it seemed as though nothing worked when it came to Jungkook. It was as if there were invisible talons dug so deep inside of you, blinding you to everything except the "good" between you and Jungkook.

"No. It's- It's not like that, we're just-" You couldn't even find the words of what you wanted to say. It was hard to talk to anyone about this, especially when they didn't understand it.

"You're in love with him, I get that. But babes, you need to wake up and see that he's using you. Just like he uses everyone else." Simon placed a reassuring hand on your arm but it only made you feel worse about everything, you didn't want to be pitied right now.

"I'm not-" You couldn't even finish your sentence since the look Simon was giving you was one of a death stare, warning you not to even deny it to yourself anymore.

The truth was. You were in love with Jungkook and you had been for a long time now but you had trouble even admitting it to yourself never mind those around you.

The two of you had been fucking for almost five months at this point and you'd fallen head over heels in love with him, despite the two of you stating at the start of everything it was just something between friends. Something to cool off and let off some steam and relax after troubles the two of you had been having and it wasn't as though he'd pressured you into it, it had been your idea just as much as it had been his.

"You can't even deny it, everyone knows it...Including Jungkook but he never says anything because he knows he'll lose someone he can get a lay with." Your chest tightened at the thought of Jungkook knowing about your crush on him and yet he continued to pull you along...But did it really matter?

The two of you were only sleeping with each other, it wasn't as though you were sleeping around. It was one of the stipulations you'd had going into the whole situationship with him. The two of you were only going to fuck each other, and if the other wanted to fuck someone else they would tell the other one first. Simple enough.

"Yn. You need to wake up and realise that this isn't good for you." Simon whispered but your mouth had gone dry and the drink in your hand was doing nothing to help the matter. You quickly downed the liquid, hissing as the vodka burnt your throat as it went down, you threw a glance back at Jungkook who was now watching you closely. His eyes zeroed in on Simon's hand which was still holding your arm softly.

If it was nothing more than friends then someone was going to have to explain Jungkook's jealousy whenever he saw you with another guy. There was no way all of this was in your head. Jungkook must have felt the same way for you as you did for him otherwise there would be no kind of attraction there. Right?

As the noise of the party began to settle down people were gathering around the living room, Simon by your side as you sat beside Jungkook's ex-girlfriend - Mia - and she sat beside Jungkook who was smirking over at you. His eyes hadn't left you ever since he'd seen you in the kitchen with Simon and you couldn't help but feel your body reacting to him.

Your whole body warmed at the thought of him staring at you, your thighs rubbed together to soothe the ache you'd felt for him for the last two weeks since you'd been together and he grinned at you.

"Who's ready to get real?" Simon smirked as he placed a bottle in the centre of the floor, glancing around at everyone who cheered softly. It was like you were all in school again with the childish games you were playing but it was just for a little bit of fun.

"You remember the rules, any dare or truth you can't do or say, you drink," Simon smirked as everyone held up their drinks in agreement, your hands clutched the bottle of beer you were nursing and you nodded your head,

"The last time we played this you ended up in the neighbour's pool, naked," Damon says as he stares over at Simon who did nothing but smirk proudly at his previous achievements in this game.

"that's because I am the king of truth or dare," Before anyone could claim his title, he smirked once more before spinning the bottle and letting the game begin.

As the game started it was small dares or truths, people asking them to kiss the same sex, or someone being dared to down a drink but as it continued into the night the dares got a little more extravagant and the truths were a little deeper until the bottle finally landed on Jungkook.

"Truth," He smiled at Simon and the room seemed to fall into silence as you all waited for Simon to ask him a question but there was something in his eyes. Something you weren't entirely sure how to read about him that suddenly made your whole chest ache, you placed your hand on his thigh.

"Si?" You laughed awkwardly as you waited for him to ask Jungkook his question but his eye twitched and he suddenly looked more angry than you'd ever seen him look before in the whole time of knowing him.

"When was the last time you had sex?" Simon finally asked Jungkook before the room laughed softly, your eyes finding Jungkook's as you waited for him to tell everyone it had been a few weeks since the two of you had been together but that moment never came. Instead, it was something that filled you with a deep achingness you couldn't shift.

"Last night." You stared at him, a little confused. The two of you hadn't been together in almost three weeks now so it confused you as to where he was coming from. Simon watched you closely, it was obvious he knew the answer to Jungkook's question before he even asked him and now he was waiting for you to realise the truth,

"But-" You stopped yourself from speaking when you saw Mia giggling from beside you, her hands locked onto Jungkook's thigh. You stared at them both, watching the way she cuddled into him and he stared down at her, his expression unreadable but his eyes were no longer on you and only on her.

Slowly the wheels in your head started to turn and you realised it was her who he had slept with, without even telling you about it himself. Instead, you'd found out through your friend and you even wondered how he knew about it.

Without even pausing to think about it, you got up from the floor and headed outside, needing to get some fresh air and clear your mind about everything.

Jungkook was the one who had agreed to tell you about anyone else he was sleeping with. That he would come to you and have the decency to tell you if he was going to fuck around with anyone else behind your back and yet you'd been forced to face this without any prior knowledge.

"Yn," Simon whispered as he stepped onto the porch but you were just as angry with him as you were with Jungkook.

"How could you embarrass me like that?!" Your voice cracked as you spoke, unshed tears threatening to spill out as you stared at someone you had considered your best friend but now felt as though he was twisting a knife inside of your back.

"Mia couldn't stop bragging about how she and Jungkook were going to get back together after fucking last night...you wouldn't listen to me." He trailed off as if this was the best solution he could have come up with,

"So you decide to make me feel like a twat in front of everyone?" You stared at him, waiting for him to defend his actions, to say sorry for what he'd done but he didn't even look sorry about it. It almost seemed as though he was proud of what he'd done.

"You're not even sorry...Are you?" Your voice dropped to a whisper as you watched him, your eyes boring into his skull. Simon swallowed thickly as he studied you for a moment, deciding whether or not this was the best time to do this,

"No. I love you, and it hurts to see you throwing yourself at someone that only uses you. He doesn't care about you the way I do!" You shook your head, taking a step back away from him. There was nothing between the two of you, nothing but brotherly love on your side at least.

"Si-"

"Leave." A voice from the door suddenly said, sounding pissed off. You glanced over Simon's shoulder to see Jungkook standing in the doorway of the home, watching you both closely and red in the face with anger.

"We're trying to talk," Simon grumbles defensively trying to stay there as long as he wanted but you were clearly uncomfortable enough and wanted this conversation to end. Something that didn't go unnoticed by Jungkook who shook his head.

"Clearly, Yn doesn't want to talk to you. So leave her alone." Simon didn't bother putting up any kind of fight since he knew better than to challenge Jungkook on something, he just sulked back through the house leaving you and jungkook alone in an uncomfortable silence. The only thing filling the air was the sounds of crickets in the distance and the faint sound of music coming from inside the house.

"Want me to get your mind off things?" he smirked, stalking toward you as you took a step back.

"You're back with Mia." You state plainly, staring at him as you wait for him to deny it. To tell you it wasn't true and that he was only joking around or something but he just shook his head at you,

"No. It was one night...and I was so drunk I didn't know my head from my arse," He ran his hand through his long hair and you resisted the urge to reach out and touch it as well, it was one of the many things you loved about him,

"One night you neglected to tell me about." You folded your arms across your chest, doing the best you could to stand your ground on the matter. This might have been a friends-with-benefits situation but there had been clear rules in place to stop shit like this from happening.

"You sound like a jealous girlfriend." Jungkook laughed weakly and you stared at him, your eyes narrowing a little as you shook your head. You almost couldn't believe he had the audacity to say that to you. He of all people should have known jealously when it slammed him across the face.

It was only last month when a guy hit on you at a bar and he nearly knocked the guy out just for talking to you.

"What and you don't?! You practically just bit Simon's head off and he was talking to me," You waited for him to scream a confession at you so you didn't feel like you were going crazy or seeing feelings where there weren't any.

"He was being a creep," Jungkook grumbled, leaning against the wall as he watched you closely. His eyes drank in your appearance as he took in what you were wearing, the action of which made you shift from one foot to the other.

"So if it was someone else, someone I wanted to kiss and fuck you wouldn't care?" You were playing with fire, a dangerous game but right now you didn't seem to give a shit. All you cared about was getting to the bottom of his feelings for you.

"Don't say that, you wouldn't do that-"

"But you're allowed? Is that it?" You practically bit off his head with your question and he stared at you, completely taken back from where all of this was coming from with you.

"No...baby, come on-" You held your hand up as the pet name for you came out. Something that had once made you feel like the most special person on the planet now felt like a bucket of ice water was being poured over your body.

"Don't," You begged, your voice sounding weak as you shook your head.

"What? Don't call you baby? Is that the problem?" He took a step toward you, trying to reach out and touch you but you shuddered a little. Everything you'd been holding back finally broke out and erupted in front of him like a volcano that had been dormant for far too long.

"The problem is, you don't mean it! You call me by all of these cute fucking pet names and yet you never want anything from me!" your voice came out strained as Jungkook watched you closely.

"You liked it before," He whispered,

"This needs to end...w-we...We can't keep sleeping together." The words flew from your lips and Jungkook felt his heart break as he watched you closely,

"Yn..."

"I can't keep doing it," You whispered and all of a sudden it was like a weight was off your chest. No longer having to wonder when he was going to call, constantly making sure you were free just in case he called you to come and fuck.

"I thought this was working out...I don't understand," he whispered as you looked at him,

"You're sleeping with Mia, I won't be involved with that. This was supposed to be just the two of us," You stumbled over the words a little.

"This was all your idea, it was going so fucking good. Mia and I were a mistake, I was drunk," He whispered, taking your hands in his as you stared at him. You'd never seen him look so distressed before.

"That was before," You whimpered, struggling to get out of his grasp but he kept his hands locked with yours,

"Before what?"

"I'm in love with you!" you screamed at him, the world suddenly turning cold as you stared at him. Waiting for him to say something, anything to you.

"Oh my god. Princess, we agreed on no strings attached...You remember that right?" How could you not? It was something that plagued your mind every single time you went to sleep at night thinking of being wrapped in his arms.

"Exactly, that's why I'm stopping." You whisper a little as he drops your hands, staring at you as he shakes his head.

"You can't...Please," He was practically begging as he stared at you, his eyes searching yours.

"Jungkook...I can't keep playing the role of a fuck buddy when I'm hopelessly in love with you. The way you constantly care for me when I'm sick or stressed...T-The way you're always there for me even when I'm mad at you or yelling." You whisper, starting to go off on a rant about how much you loved him and what had even made you fall for him in the first place and Jungkook just watches you, unsure of what to do or say.

"Say...Say something," You breathe out, staring at him as he takes in a deep breath.

By now, his face was red as he looked at you. His chest tightened as he heard everything you'd had to say to him.

"I've always known that I had feelings for you but I kept ignoring them or sidestepping them because I felt like it was wrong...to have feelings for your friend." He bit down on his lip as he reached out to touch your hand, your fingers intertwining as you watched him,

"I tried my best to not focus on that and just be here with you, and instead focus on the fact that what a hot piece of ass I get to sleep with.." His voice was coming out in a whisper now as he stepped in front of you, his hands cupping your face in his grasp as he gently ran his thumb along your bottom lip.

"I can't say that I love you yet but I definitely feel like something could happen here. I do have feelings for you and deep down I always knew that. Yn...I want to give us a chance. Please...Let me give us a chance." He practically begged as he held you close to him, your heart practically ripping its way outside of your chest and into his waiting arms,

"What about Mia?" You weren't going to ignore the fact that he'd slept with her,

"A drunken mistake, I'll never touch her again...Please," You swallowed thickly as you watched him, you wanted more than anything to believe him. To give this a real shot at the two of you.

"You promise you won't...sleep with her again?" You arched your brow as he nodded his head, biting down on your lip you nodded slowly.

"Pick me up tomorrow...at seven, book somewhere fancy," You warn him as he smirks at you, running his fingers over your cheek softly.

"I know the perfect place," He promises before leaving a small and gentle kiss on your cheek.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~year later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Staying true to his promise Jungkook had never slept with anyone else ever again, his sole focus had always been on you and never anyone else again. It had only taken a few months before he told you he loved you back and now the two of you were on your first couple's holiday together.

Jungkook had flown you both out to Paris where you spent the whole two weeks doing everything a couple could possibly do together in Paris.

"I love you," You giggle at him as he pours you some champagne, the two of you sitting under the Eiffel Tower and waiting for it to sparkle for the night,

"I love you too, princess," he smirks, leaning over and kissing you softly. Right as your lips connected the Eiffel Tower lit up, sparkling around you both as you wrapped your arms around Jungkook and pressed yourself closer to him.

@chiisaiblog@sw33tnight@kaitieskidmore97@laylasbunbunny@tinyoonsblog@whitefoxgirl@katnisspeetaprim@acciocriativity@choisoorin@heyjiminnie@btsiguess-kpop@halesandy@gothic4under4lord@soulphoenix1618@aerastus@jin-from-the-block@lenfilms@elizaschuyler18@piratequeen-impact @Namgiswifey@delulu18@xyahrinx@katsukis1wife@anthropologymajorkpopmultistan@blairscott@4-chan-inpadella@swga-ficrecs@niktwazny303@armystay89@myyouthdonut@xakx@kittymaryam-thebrowniefairy@kpopmenace143@loveforred@b1nn1e-1s-cut3@elissasimp @royallyjjk @parkjennykim @piercedddriver

[whateverloomis]

Omg ok so uh.... Can I request some knifeplay with poly!ghostface and an innocent/naïve reader? 🥺

AGGHHH I got carried away here, anon 😩 I hope I delivered 🫡 Thank you for your request bb <33

Warnings: SMUT, Knife play, blood play (blood pact-ish), fingering, making out, oblivious reader, AFAB reader (no use of pronouns,) hint of Stully, unedited.

Word count: 1.3k

Ever since you joined the friend group Billy and Stu took a liking to you. It started off as casual conversations and getting to know each other but after nearly a year of mixed signals and you being too oblivious, all three of you ended up in a situationship.

Billy Loomis was an expert at manipulating people and he got a kick of it whenever he got the chance to target you with his sinister intentions. Stu just liked to sit back and watch as you slowly fell for Billy and himself, of course.

The day you guys made -whatever kind of relationship you had- official was over a blood pact. Little did you know the boys just wanted to claim you as theirs, in their own fucked up way.

It was a Friday after movie night with Sid, Tatum and Randy. Billy and Stu waited rather impatiently for their girlfriends and Randy to leave in order to finally have you to themselves. Once they did, the energy quickly got tense.

"It's been a while..." Billy said softly, sitting next to you on the couch as he placed his hand on your thigh. You looked at him in genuine confusion. "Been a while since what? We just watched a movie." You answered and Billy smirked, looking away momentarily before looking back at you.

"A while since we've done this." He answered and moved closer to you, placing a few soft kisses on your lips.

Pulling back slightly, you bit your lip and looked at him in the eyes before leaning in again, but before you could continue kissing, Stu walked in the living room.

"Not fair! Don't start the party without me!" He said playfully and you giggled at his comment and Billy's annoyed glare.

You noticed that Stu placed a large candle on the table in front of the couch and sat down on the floor in front of it before lighting the flame.

"C'mon, we've got a surprise for you." Billy said and grabbed your hand, leading you towards the small coffee table and sitting on the floor, pulling you along the way until you sat between his legs.

You looked at the boys in confusion, "Surprise? It's not my birthday yet (or is it?)"

"You say the dumbest shit sometimes." Stu replied in amused mock and you flipped him off.

"Enough." Billy said from behind you and grabbed your hand, lowering it along with his. "We're making our relationship official" He continued and your eyes widened.

"But... You guys have girlfriends..." You said, as if fucking their boyfriends behind their backs wasn't bad enough.

"It's okay YN, they don't mind." Stu said as casual as ever. "Right Billy?, he continued, and Billy nodded in response.

You looked at both of them, searching for anything that indicated they weren't being honest, but everything seemed to be normal. They wouldn't lie to you, and you trusted them so you went along with it.

"Okay! So what's the surprise?" You asked them excitedly and Billy placed a knife on the table. You looked at it in question and curiosity got the best of you. You felt the urge to touch the blade and let it take over you.

Running your finger over the blade you admired how shiny it was. Sharp. It looked freshly polished and neat. Both boys looked at you, amusement written all over their faces.

"We're gonna do... A little blood pact to make our relationship official... Special." Billy said. You felt his hot breath on your neck and observed as he picked up the knife.

Stu stood up and kneeled in front of you, stretching your legs and placing them over his lap, rubbing your thighs as if he were soothing the sensitive skin.

You felt fear, anxiety rushed through your body but you knew this is how you can show your trust and dedication to them, right?

"Is this... Really how it works?" You asked, seeking for reassurance and confirmation.

"Of course baby... This is how you show your trust. How you give yourself to us." Billy said and Stu smirked in amusement.

And of course... you believed them.

Billy placed the knife on one of your thighs and ran the blade across your skin softly. You shivered at the cool sensation and it made your nipples pebble up, showing through your shirt.

Stu noticed and trailed his gaze down to your tits, squeezing your legs in response. "Looks like someone's excited." He said, and you blushed at his words, unable to admit the obvious.

"As it should be." Billy said and pressed the knife against your skin, making you whine at the sensation. The sting was eliciting a strange feeling of pleasure that you couldn't understand at the moment, but you loved every second of it.

Billy continued his actions, marking your skin with a small B and S. You looked at your thigh and blood was dripping down, pooling on the floor beneath you.

"Go ahead." Billy told Stu and he released your legs carefully, positioning himself between them and licking some of the red stripes from your thigh. Savoring you.

You moaned softly at the sight and sensation. Stu bit hit lip as a reaction to your taste, a bit of blood dripping from his lip.

Billy collected the blood with his finger from Stus lip and brought it to his own, sucking on it and tasting you as well.

"So sweet..." He whispered in your ear and collected more blood from your thigh, this time bringing it to your lips in order for you to taste yourself as well.

It had a metallic taste, but to your surprise you could also taste the faintest hint of sweetness. "Mm... You're right." You responded and immediately felt Billy's cock twitch against your back. Your words excited him. Your blood. You.

Stu bit his lip and chuckled before leaning in and kissing you. You could taste your blood on his tongue as he teased you with it. Moaning into his mouth you crawled towards him and straddled his lap. Billy observed both of you making out intensely and huffed out a "Fuck..." before standing up and walking towards the couch.

Stu stood up with your legs wrapped around his waist and walked towards the couch as well, sitting you between him and Billy.

The boys scooted close to you and started to kiss the sides of your neck, breathing and moaning against you. They stole kisses from each other sometimes too which made you moan in response. The boys weren't that affectionate with each other but when you got the pleasure of seeing it happen it drove you crazy.

Billy sneaked his hand between your thighs and up your skirt, rubbing your clit through your underwear. You rested your head against his shoulder and moaned at the sensation.

Stu also reached under your skirt but instead he spread some of the blood along your skin, tasting you one more time before cutting your underwear open with the knife.

You gasped in response and bit your lip. "You owe me new underwear now, Macher. You said and he laughed at your sassy tone. "I prefer you without them on." You moaned at his response and spread your legs for him.

Billy chuckled at his boyfriend's flirty comment and continued to rub your clit at a steady pace. Stu started to run two fingers over your entrance before slipping them all the way in. "Fuck, you feel so good around my fingers" he moaned out.

"I bet that hole feels better around my dick." Billy countered, always the competitive kind in bed.

All you could do was moan and shake at the feeling of both boys playing with your cunt and giving you all of their attention. They rubbed and finger fucked you expertly. The sensation of their movements coursed through your body and you swore you were gonna cum any second.

"Fuck... Fuck!" You moaned the way that you usually do when you were gonna reach your high, but suddenly the boys stopped. You whined as your legs shook at the loss of the intense pleasure they were creating.

"You're not getting your release yet." Billy said and Stu picked you up over his shoulder. "We're taking this upstairs." He said. The night was just about to begin.

[appleblueberry-pie]

When Gojo asks why we won’t just be with him we tell him that he isn’t worth it 😔🫰

He isn’t worth the body or the history… I know a lot of people like to brag about having exes and body’s but that shit is so embarrassing to me 😭 like I feel like a whore because a boy kissed me in like middle school and he was a BOY. Boys are so gross omg-anyway-

Like why would I date you if we’re gonna break up? Get out of my face bro 😔

"....Is that what you became friends with me for? I'm not interested in dating you, Gojo."

Gojo never knew you were the type to reject people like him. He was everything you wanted in a man and he knew it. Money, extroverted, very fine, strong, tall, sexy, intelligent, all of the above. So....why did you say no to his confession? I repeat, HE CONFESSED and you rejected HIM. He couldn't help but accidentally voice his thoughts.

He leans back in surprised and scrunches his eyebrows at your response. "What?" You raise your eyebrows at his answer and continued eating the food he bought you at this expensive cafe that you now loved. ".....What? Never been rejected before?" You laughed at his response and kept eating. He wasn't gonna pressure you into dog shit, he could kiss ass. You did like his qualities. But with how the dating pool is currently, you wouldn't be surprised if he had three bitches lighting his phone up currently. You had zero hope in all men unless they don't use their phones at all and instead told you the worst jokes on planet in hopes of swooning you.

You would rather not date him. He was nice eye candy though. He gains his composure back and leans on the table. "Yeah, I have been, but I felt like we were both interested in each other, you know...?" You nod, understanding what he meant. "Yeah....sorry if it seemed like I was leading you on." He shakes his head, still incredibly butt hurt inside. "No, it's not your fault."

Why did you say no? He wants to ask desperately. Too many questions filled his mind at the possibilities. Were you lesbian and he was too stupid to realize? Was he not your type at all whatsoever? Was he too stuck up like Suguru said? He doesn't know. "Is it okay if I ask what made you say no?"

You shrug and look up in thought. "Well, it's not you, it's just....too much is happening right now. And I mean with everyone. Too many people are love-bombing each other, there's no genuine connection ever, then there's 'situationships', and a looot of people my age don't have patience for long-term relationships and it's just....i feel like- ugh i guess I'll say it. But I feel like you're the perfect person to have all of those qualities. You're very attractive, Satoru, so....I don't know if I'm ready to trust you enough not to put those labels on your head. It's dumb, but yeah. And I do too much with relationships. I put too much time and energy into the person I'm with, and i hate doing that knowing that there are so many people who've just neglected my needs in return. Basically, I love trauma."

Satoru watched you the entire time you spoke, so you found it hard to continue speaking, but you managed to push through. "Fuck them." You roll your eyes and he takes one of your fries, eating them. "I'm serious. I can give you everything you want and need y/n. I wouldn't ask you out if I didn't have a major attraction and connection to you."

You didn't look impressed, but he was determined. "I agree with you. All of the girls I tried to date just wanted me for sex. I know you would treat me better than that. And I would be willing to give you the love and respect you deserve. I get....I don't want to say this, but I get really happy at the thought of being able to provide for you. All I want is you. And it's okay if you don't want me now."

He takes a piece of your cake and eats it without your permission. "I'm willing to wait."

I'm sorry I took forever with this omg. This is the start of many. I might do like 6 more tomorrow. I need sleep.

[mayghosts]

Little Gold Top: (3) Kate Martin x Reader

Summary: A game of hide and seek and a tense practice

(First Part) (Previous)

Warnings: kinda drama tbh, langauge, bad grammar

AN: This chapter has been re-written so many times in loosing my minddddd.... Also loving the new Billie album 🩵🩵 expect flashback chapter next bc i need to actually provide context

Kate felt like she was loosing her mind (and her best friend.) She flipped her phone over for the third time in the last five minutes, checking to see if you responded. She was met with the text message she had sent you yesterday. No reply. Groaning she let her head slump back against the couch pillows. The dim light from the tv flickered across the dorm room, the sun had set a while ago and Kate hadn't found it in her to turn a light on yet. The noise and colors from the TV seemed to just float by her as she stared at the wall behind the TV.

She couldn't help but let her mind wander back to the parking lot. The dim orange-yellow street lamp that highlighted the tip of your nose, reflecting off the gold sequins. Your wide eyed expression as she stood just a but too close. You guys hadn't done something like that in a while. Kate always knew you were pretty, she always knew that she needed to be careful. Self control is not a quality that drunk Kate posseses.

Teams don't work without communication and right now Iowa Womens Basketball would flop on the court without you. She already missed the opportunity to pretend the parking lot incident didn't happen. She rolled off the dorm couch, searching for a hoodie and a pair of shoes. If you weren't going to reply, then she would simply just hunt you down. She was just being cautious. Careful. It was for the best interest of the team.

As she stalked through the halls of the science building she tried to formulate a good excuse for just running into you in the science building at 6:53 PM. She had already went to your dorm, but she didn't hear you inside and it was still too early for you to be alseep. As she passed more empty rooms she could feel her breath picking up, she quickened her steps. She couldn't help but feel like she had royaly fucked everything up again. Just like sophmore year. What if she can't find you? What if you guys can't move past this? Shes graduating this spring its not like you guys will ever get the chance to play for the same team again. She reached the last classroom, swinging the door open, she was met with another empty lab. She slumped against the hallway wall, sinking to the ground. She could feel the tears prick in her eyes as dropped her head into her hands.

POV SWITCH

You felt your phone buzz against the matress. You had a long day of successfully dodging both Caitlin and Kate. You even skipped practice. You told coach it was the frat flu, she deffinately knew you were lying. Your strategy was to let it all blow over. No need to be dramatic, or turn it into something its not and never will be.

You loved Kate, she was your very best friend. But she could fuck you up to no end. Freshman and sophmore year were stained with confusing feelings and multiple parkinglot-esque interactions that were all just swept under the rug. So why she was trying to talk about it now was beyond you.

You wouldn't even call it a situationship, you two never kissed. If you had you couldn't remeber it. You would deffinately remeber kissing her. Flipping your phone over you were once again met with the same text from Kate, and something new from Gabbie that caught your eye.

"I just ran into Kate in the science wing?? She seemed pretty upset so I am going to bring her back to her dorm. I will be back in like 20!"

Deffinately an odd text for a monday after 7. Why would Kate even be in the science wing? Unless she was looking for you? It really wasn't that big of a deal you guys were fine. Right? You slumped back against your pillow clicking off your lights. You didn't sleep much that night.

TIME SKIP

CAITLIN POV (bet you didn't see this coming)

"What the actual fuck" was the only though floating around Caitlins head. She knew she wasn't alone in this thought as she made eye contact with Gabbie from the bench. Cait knew she was in for a long practice when Kate came in with headphones on and nothing to say. Gabbie had told her about her run in with Kate in the science hallway last night. Cait couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in her gut as she watched you walk through the gym doors, make eyecontact with Kate, and promptly look away.

The gym was on the quiet side as Caitlin ran through streaches and warmups. The tension was heavy, and it wasn't the fun type. After a quiet streach and warmup, Caitlin watched Kate airball four easy shots in a row and throw a handful of easliy intercepted passes. However, Its not like you were doing much better as you seemed to be intentionally avoiding Kates passes and not going for any of her rebounds. Shortly after you nearly ate shit during conditioning.

Coach Lisa was not happy, and neither was Caitlin. The whole situation just reminded her of how the two of you were during the last few weeks of Sophmore year. Not speaking, avoiding eachother at all costs and consequentially dragging your team through the mud. Cait was sick of you two behaving like children, but more than anything she wanted to know what happened in the parking-lot.

[jaylver]

BABY CAME HOME — L.HS

synopsis: never trust a man who keeps your heart at bay. especially when it was your brother's best friend.

genre: situationship, brother's best friend, (heavy) angst

warning(s): profanities, hee being a dickhead (sorry :( he's an actual sweetheart irl)

wc: 1k

a/n: inspired by the neighbourhood’s song! drop a feedback like always! it'll help a lot <3 enjoy!

masterlist | © jaylver all rights reserved. 

Mistakes.

Mistakes were the death of you, it was your downfall, and you knew starting something with your brother's best friend was one too.

Lee Heeseung. 

The person you grew up seeing come in and out of your house from time to time. Watching him grow as you did too, going from the innocent looking boy to an attractive man in a blink of an eye. You would be lying if you said he had no effect on you. What mattered most to you was him remaining the same despite looking different physically. He was the same sweetheart with a charming personality.

How it started was complicated. Meeting at a party without your brother, Sunghoon, was actually the first mistake. You didn't expect to make out with Heeseung by the end of the night and let him sneak into your room through the window.

It was all fun and games, seeing each other behind your brother's back, passing glances and knowing looks, having inside jokes no one would understand. Knowing every inch of one another's bodies, where your favourite mole was, the spot of his birthmark even his friends didn't know. The unspoken intimacy you shared was something else.

Yet, none of you placed a label on whatever you had together. At first, you thought that was a great idea, no labels to stress you out, but now? Boy, you were overthinking about the relationship—situationship, actually—you both shared. 

On one of those nights where he stayed over in your room, next to you, lights low and only the television playing in the back, you decided to speak your mind. "What are we?" 

Those words were probably like spikes to him, something he wasn't ready to face or answer. He slowly sat up, his eyes unreadable. "What do you mean?"

"What?" You sat up as well, eyes flickering. "Us? Am I just a friend to you? Sunghoon's little sister that you can play around?"

"No!" He said immediately, jaw clenching. "God, Y/N, if I knew how difficult you would become, I wouldn't have started this,"

You stilled at his words, wondering if your ears had failed you or whether this was all a trick, but it wasn't. "I was a mistake, wasn't I?"

Heeseung seemed to realise what he had said, wanting to take it back but couldn't even bear to utter a word once he saw the look on your face. 

"Just … just don't say anything, leave."

That night faded into many restless nights after. You didn't know how he was doing, he could be feeling nothing and you wouldn't know either. But the worst doesn't stop there. Your cousin's wedding was nearing, Heeseung who happened to be his friend, promised to come and be your date, yet the timing just had to fuck with you.

Sunghoon somehow noticed the drop in your emotions, occasionally checking up on you, each time you could only brush him off and say you were fine. What could you do? Say you were hooking up with his best mate behind his back? That's basically a death sentence.

Being dolled up and dressed in some expensive dress, you found yourself waiting in the middle of your house's living room for the others, basking in the quietness of your surroundings. That was soon broken by the sound of the door closing, attracting your attention and having you turn your head.

Heeseung.

Black tie, clean suit, making his way in awkwardly and rather stiffly. Maybe it was from the emptiness because once his dark irises landed on your figure, he stopped in his tracks.

"Y/N?"

Why did you let him say your name still? Why couldn't you erase him from your head? Why couldn't he just be yours?

You said nothing, watching him get closer and eventually standing a few feet away from you, a coffee table separating you and him. The silence was thick enough to be sliced through, basically suffocating you to the point where you couldn't breathe.

"Well, don't you stand in front of me and wait for me to talk," you mumbled, looking anyway but at him.

"I was hoping we could talk,"

"You could've called me up—" you knew the moment if you saw his caller ID, you would've picked it up in a heartbeat, and that was the worst part, "—the phone works two ways, you know?"

"I know," He said softly, something in his eyes were begging and desperate, but his face was much more impassive. He was trying to keep his cool, but he was equally crumbling internally.

When you said nothing, he continued on, the silence from you was loud, and it was clear, clear enough to convey that you were mad, in despair, and definitely on the verge of ending you and his 'relationship'.

"Y/N, we can't just end it like this,"

"End it like what?" You choked out, heart straining against your chest. "There was nothing between us in the first place. You made it clear," you swallowed down a sob. "There was never an 'us', it was only a 'you' and 'I',"

"No, no …"

You shook your head, tears overflowing and eventually cascaded down your cheeks. Gosh, you were a mess. "I can't just continue sneaking around my brother's back just for you, doing everything just for me to not be anything to you—"

"You are something to me!"

"Oh, right? Yet you couldn't even accept the idea of us being together when I asked you that question the other night," you blinked harder, remembering the disappointment and annoyance in his expressions. "I think it says a lot,"

"I'm sorry—"

"Don't, d–don't, don't say anything," you backed away slowly, by now your makeup probably ruined and you were too much of a mess for the wedding. "Go find some other girl to toy around with, Hee."

You couldn't stand it anymore. Nausea, anger and sadness overwhelmed your senses. The tears in your eyes blurred your vision as you tried to run up the stairs, accidentally knocking into Sunghoon without even realising.

The slam of your bedroom door indicated that you weren't coming back out for the rest of the night. Sunghoon was curious as he descended the stairs, but when he saw Heeseung standing there, head in his hands and a frown etched deep, he knew, he always did anyway.

There was no way you could come back from this broken heart. 

( © jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )

[drea-ms]

SMOKED CIGARETTES AND EMPTY BEER BOTTLES. GETO SUGURU

げとうすぐる. Please don't try to kiss me on the sidewalk, On your cigarette break. I can't afford to love someone, not the way we loved each other.

warnings. heavy angst. no happy ending. hurt NO comfort at all. major character death. suicide mentions. depression and anxiety. mentions of smoking and drinking. toxic situationship. right person not enough time trope. canon complient? haibara lives tho so 🤷‍♀️. slight mention of suguru x oc (nakamura kyouko) but it's not mentioned or deep enough. sugu n reader r NAWT okay. not proofread, but when has my shit never not been proofread? grammar mistakes. inspired by xanny by billie eilish.

masterlist. next

A six pack box of beer, (the sweet ones, you never like the bitter taste of beer.) the sunset looking as beautiful as ever, and you sitting on the rooftop, a cigarette you stole from shoko in your hand (You didn't smoke. You used it as to have something your hands could play with). Life as a traumatized jujutsu student couldn't get better than this. Hell, you wished you could've gone back to the time before your fight with him. You knew you couldn't stop him, you knew you both weren't good for each other, but that's what made it work for you and Suguru. At least you thought it did.

Leading to the weeks before the fight, was the death of Riko. You knew she was somewhat close to Suguru, like a little sister. He told you about her, it was sweet that he had a sister like figure. Then after her death was the almost death of Haibara. You knew something was up that day, so you headed to where Yu was clearing a mission and saved his life, the only consequence was the fact that you were hurt more than him. He got upset, you understood him. But at the same time you didn't.

You understood that he liked to smoke, and you didn't. You understood that you liked drinking more than smoking, and he didn't. Complete opposites, yet fit each other so well.

Your mother told you it was best for you to get a therapist (one that knows about jujutsu.) so that they could help you. (it worked for a bit, but can you fix what was already broken?) Later, you got diagnosed with Anxiety, they told you to take medication for it, you did. (You never liked taking pills. After the incident with an old friend you couldn't handle them.) All of this was never told to Suguru. Not like he would care, right?

Why would you tell him? it's not like the two of you were dating, if anything, he was more interested in her. (You wouldn't blame him, Nakamura Kyouko was a beauty.) Why would it bother him that you don't tell him anything? Why does he get jealous when other guys flirt with you? why does he act like your boyfriend when he isn't? You don't understand Geto Suguru.

He has her. But why does he always keep coming back to you?

Then there was the fight, the one between you and him. The one where he couldn't hold back and tell you everything he thought of you. You weren't even sure what started the the fight, but you were sure that you lost the moment he brought up how useless you were, he was comparing you to how she could do better then you. (Why did Suguru bring her up? Kyouko made sure that she didn't have a thing with Suguru, that instead she wasn't ready for a relationship at all. You couldn't blame her. not when he was right.)

"Do you understand what I'm saying? you're weak, [name]. You always have been! Why can't you get that through your thick skull?! You put others before yourself. You don't even have a grade level! You're useless in the jujutsu world. What more do you want to know?! Huh?" you see even sure if he was yelling or not, to inside your mind to figure it out.

"There's a reason as to why, Geto. There's a god damn reason as to why I don't have a grade level as a jujutsu sorcerer. You wanna know why Suguru? Huh?! You wanna know why the ever loving fuck I don't have a grade level like the rest of you all?! Because as of the time I'm living and willy be living, I am considered a threat to the jujutsu world. My technique hasn't been used since eons! No one is sure when my technique is ready, no one knows when I'll lose control and kill everything single fucking living think I come across of. Get through your thick fucking skull Geto." tears starting coming out of you, harsh. You didn't want to cry infront of him. Because if you did, the he would've known that he won the argument. So you did what you've done best.

You left.

Now that you think about it, you missed it when it was just you and him, with no care in the world, where you were still in a complicated relationship with him. Where the only argument you had with him that was serious was when he kissed you with him smelling like cigarettes.

"C'mon Sugu, don't kiss me on the side walk! Everyone's gonna see and it's crowded here!" you would pout at him, which made him weak in the knees

"[nickname], it's my only break I have where—" "Where you can smoke, yadayada, just... don't smoke and then kiss me?" you ask, lips kissing his nose.

"Of course," he smiled at you, you smiled back.

You missed those days.

Now that you were out of your head, the alcohol making you dizzy, and looking at the sunset, you realized that you weren't cut out to be part of this hell. After leaving the fight with Suguru, you avoided him and then avoiding going to school altogether, you started going to therapy more often (it helped i little, then it didn't, you were later diagnosed with depression. Yay.) then dropping out of therapy after.

You knew that, what you were doing was the better option for everyone and yourself. You wrote letters to everyone in jujutsu high (including the higher ups, but you just cursed them out and told them that in the next life you would kill them with your own hands.) and You left your dorm at night, opting to to stay at an inn under a different name. You wrote two letters to Suguru that night. Only heading back to the school dorms to leave them on his door.

Now standing up in the rooftop, you decided to turn around, not facing the sunset, not looking down at how high the building you broke into was, instead, you closed your eyes and fell backwards.

With not one care in the world.

(NOTICE FROM THE JUJUTSU HEADQUARTERS; [lastname] [firstname], the unregistered grade sorcerer is no longer a threat. please get rid of any file related to her.)

NOTES ; half of my blog is literally angst related. i can NEVER write happy and fluffy things, except for saiki..... i love writing angst like alot idk i think while listening to music and then boom angst idea! anyways, please tell me if you enjoy this price i wrote this one lil an hour, also send reqs in my ask box!! i'm bored!!!

[matthewswifeyx]

I'm tired

Pairing- Y/N & Fratboy!Chris

Summary- Y/N and Chris are in a situationship and she is tired of hiding her feelings and she wants to be something more with Chris.

Warnings- Angst

Requested?- Yess! By @loveparqdise <3

Me and Chris had a weird relationship, one minute we would be the laughing hysterically at an inside joke and the next we would be making out with each other at one of Chris' frat parties. It really confused me and messed with my emotions. I didn't know what i saw Chris as, whether it was my boyfriend or just a friend. I had tried to say something to Chris about it before but he just claimed that he 'didn't like having labels'. He doesn't get it.

I was getting ready, yet again, for another frat party that Chris was hosting. This was the third party in a week, it was exhausting but Chris said 'that it wouldn't be the same without me'. Why do i always say yes?

I stared back at my new dress hanging from my closet, it was a short, midnight blue dress. It hugged all of my curves in the most perfect places when i first tried it on at the store. I only bought it to maybe grab some sort of attention from Chris. Leaning forward, I tried to catch any imperfections in my makeup. If my mascara had smudged or if my blush was 'too much'. The anxiety of looking weird was building up in the back of my mind, but the thought of Chris had occupied me while I finished getting ready.

I had now put on the silky dress, and I had never looked better. I looked once in the mirror, then put on my heels, grabbed my bag and then I left.

Chris' frat house wasn't far from my dorm, so I just decided to walk. It was already pitch black outside, I lost the track of time getting ready. The stars lit up the sky just enough for my figure to act as a silhouette. My heels clicked on the pavement, I was walking with urgency. I had finally reached the house, I knew this because i heard the music blasting obnoxiously loud from a couple streets down.

The door was already open. I stepped into the house and started to brush past drunk boyfriends and dancing queens. The smell of weed and pot lingered in the air. I had finally reached the bottom of the stairs, i held onto the hand rail and started climbing upstairs. When i reached the top my eyes scanned around. My phone buzzed. It was Chris.

[Chris] I'm in the upstairs bedroom.

God he was bland. He must've seen me come in. I checked a few bedrooms and the were mostly empty. then I opened one room and a hand snuck around my waist and pulled me into the room. i gasped softly then I opened my eyes. It's Chris.

"Just me." He smirked. Then he leaned in and kissed me.

This was the same routine every party, even if Chris wasn't hosting. he would either take me or meet me in a bedroom and then we would just make out most of the time. We never went any further, I didn't want to and neither did Chris. Don't get me wrong, every time Chris laid a hand on me let alone kissed me, I got butterflies. I guess it was just the thought of getting caught. But after a while of this sneaking around, it just started feeling wrong.

So I stopped. But I wish I didn't.

Chris's eyebrows shot up in confusion. His lips were plump and covered in our saliva. His cheeks had a pink hue painted across them.

"Why'd you stop?" he asked tiredly. I had never felt so hesitant. I had just zoned out. I wanted me and Chris to be so much more, but I didn't want to ruin the relationship we had. He might be happy but I wasn't. "Hmm?" He spoke up. I cleared my throat.

"It's just...I d'know- this doesn't feel right Chris." I admit.

"Why's that baby?" Baby. You would only say that if you were in a relationship.

"What are we Chris?" i changed the topic.

"Uhm." Chris had a think. "I guess you could call it a 'situation-ship'." He laughed. But I wasn't laughing. Chris noticed this and looked back at me. "Why the long face?" He tried to suppress a giggle.

"I don't want to be in a 'situation-ship' Chris. I don't want to be 'friends-with-benefits' or any other sad excuse you have. I want to have something real." I admitted.

"But Y/N, all of my other frat friends have situation-ships!" He said.

"Chris, you're not listening!" I shouted. "That may be a title but i want a label! I want something more than whatever you call that!" I exclaimed. "Look, you may be just fine with what we have, but I'm not! I'm miserable this way! I want to wake up knowing that I don't have to meet someone I like at a frat party just to kiss him! I don't want to see a guy I like in private and hide away from his friends!" i say.

Chris was speechless. He knew what I was saying was true.

"I'm tired of this depressing routine for me Chris. And if we want different things, in whatever you call this relationship, then maybe we can't do this anymore."

Banner credits to @issysh3ll <3

Hey guys I wanted to make this in parts!! How do we like Fratboy!Chris?? If you have any suggestions/requests please do not hesitate to send me a quick message and i will try and get back to you asap! Part 2 out tomorrow!!!

[tasteofgummies]

hi! so i was wondering if you could do one those jotaro x you hcs, any part is fine! (both sfw and nsfw 👉👈)

physically im small built, and have long brown hair. im quite pale and have dark eyes.

tho i look lowkey fragile im told im persuasive and usually like to lead, but im very soft spoken and gentle.

i really like philosophy and psychology and would LOVE to hear the one and only ocean man rant about his favourite subjects too.

Jotaro x you ✨

This will be fairly neutral, but reader would be a bottom, if this is something you're uncomfortable with, tell me and I'll change it

Also this leans more towards college!Jotaro? In the space between part 3 and 4, after Egypt, before Morioh

*Jotaro is the blue text

>To Jotaro, you kinda look like a doll

>He's huge compared to average person, so he isn't new to towering over the others

>But you look honestly like a bunny and he's kinda wary not to break you when you two meet

>He notices how your personality is strong without coming off as aggressive in the process, you're gentle, but you can stand out for yourself without help

>He's not really the social butterfly type, so I think you become part of the few people he can tolerate having around him

>Until he notices people flirting with you and realizes he doesn't want you as just anyone else, you're special to him

>But he won't do anything about it, and if it wasn't for you taking the lead, it would have stayed that way

>He probably realizes he crossed the line between "I kinda like them" and "I'm in love with them" when you showed genuine interest in what he likes, and add your own knowledge to the mix

> He was focused on a project, specifically about Eels

> "Did you know Freud was obsessed with proving male eels existed?"

> "Sounds rather unproductive, they're genderless most of their life"

> "Yeah, but he didn't knew that, maybe he wouldn't have killed so many if he knew"

> "He still would have done it." Jotaro's response surprised you, you would have expected the conversation to end after that, specially because he sounded, philosophical? Was he actually listening to you all the time?

> He continued "He knew eels reproduced sexually, because he knew females existed. He didn't want to prove they existed, he just wanted to find one to feel better, when you're researching something you love, the last thing in your mind is to kill them. People just can't accept some creatures want to be left alone"

> He sounded rather serious, you felt uneasy thinking that may be a hint, Jotaro knew you liked him, and he seemed to reciprocate, but you were at that situationship stage right now, so you were straight forward

> "Do you wish to be left alone?"

> "Most of the time, yes. I don't want to be dissected so people can say they know things about me for the sake of knowing, without any concern for how they get it"

> You just muttered a apology and tried to left, embarrassed

> Jotaro panicked. "I wasn't talking about you..."

> "I really want to get what you're saying, but the eel analogy is confusing"

> "I'm- I'm saying you care about me in a way people don't tend to care. You like me how I like starfishes" he blushed, it's honestly funny how socially awkward a guy like him can be

> "And do you like me like that?"

> He nodded, without taking his eyes out of the papers he was working on

> And that's how you get a marine biologist boyfriend

Nsfw ahead

CW: oral, handjobs, dirty talk (kinda?), rough sex, cum in reader's body

>Despite the fandom's tendency to put him as a hard daddy dom sex god, I think he was a virgin for a long time

>He was never really interested in other people, he always felt like they cared about him like a social commodity rather than a human being

> People got close to him to say they fucked Jotaro Kujo, whether it was for his looks or reputation

> So when you told him you were ready to take things further, he was nervous

>He wants to be in control, but if you're eager enough, you can make him take a more submissive role

>Isn't really loud, but his panting and heavy breathing is hot enough

>Made the cutest sounds when you gave him a handjob for the first time

>"Wait, that's- ahhh~ ♡"

>Shies away from penetrative sex for quite a while, making you cum with his fingers and tongue is enough for him

>Even without his dick, you do get overstimulated quite a few times in your sessions, the first times it's accidental, and you have to reassure him you like it

>Doesn't always indulge you when you plead for more, thinking he can hurt you and you won't realize being too deep in subspace

>The first time he gets his cock inside you, wants you to be on top of him

> Has a size kink he won't acknowledge

> Grips the bedsheets impossibly tight to stop himself from grabbing your hips and bouncing you on him

> You're so tight around him, and even on top of him, you just look so small:(

> If you do want him to berserk on you, just tell him, and then annoy him while he's working

> Will bend you over his desk and ram into you from behind while groans in your ear

> "Do you really think I can deal with you being a brat? Right now?"

> Cums in your asscheeks, hot and sticky, then he slides off you and leaves you there while he starts running a bath for you

> You can feel the bruises forming on your hips, and your cum from multiple orgasms dripping down your thighs

>But you don't regret a thing

[gabenvrhappened]

MusicOr... Magic and Roses by Kelly Clarkson

Favorite Lyrics (Magic): With your eyes on me, I start to tremble ⬩ Always you, has been forever ⬩ Blurry lines I can't remember ⬩ Fighting words I wanna tell you;

Favorite Lyrics (Roses): It's too late for roses, they'll die in a day ⬩ You can't put a band-aid on the way that we're breaking ⬩ It's too late for diamonds, they all come with chains ⬩ So don't waste your money on it, we can't be saved ⬩ There ain't enough roses;

When I first created this Tumblr I set some rules. One of them was that I wouldn't write about past things. That was in July of 2023, so, if you go back to my first post, you'll see that I broke that rule. Hey, it's my party and I cry if I want to, right? Well, technically, I'm not actually breaking this rule because I first heard Magic in June 24th and, since I broke that rule with a post of a book I read in May, then the song was part of the timeline of this humble little blog back then. Additionally, I got really addicted to it once again today, so... it's fine.

The reason for all of this, is that Kelly is releasing a new version of her album Chemistry with a lot of new songs, including one called Roses, that I became as addicted as I was and am with Magic. I really loved this one, but I'm not quite sure why. It’s not like I have someone in my life to give me roses or diamonds. The song is just too good, I guess, and I'll settle with that. However, being so passionate about it, made me come back to the previously released songs with a new heart. A lot has changed since June.

You know, I'm in love. No point in sugarcoating it or judging the reasons why. Currently, I'm just fighting the urge to let myself drown into this feeling with the resistance of my mind that keeps telling me I shouldn't do it. The thing is that, when I first heard this enchanted song, I did what I always like to do when I hear a song about a love I haven't experienced it (yet): I imagined the day that I will. Call it manifestation. So I danced in green lighted subways, I took pictures of myself thinking that there wasn't another single person as beautiful as me in the world, and I sang its bridge with all the strength of my lungs wherever I felt like it.

Now, I glance at this song from another perspective. And what a curious thing: there I was standing my clothes after washing them, with the album on shuffle, when the song came on. It must have been an angel whispering in my ear something that made me realize that I was living those lyrics today, without even noticing it. My heart was weak for a pretty face, my head and heart were telling me that I would end up used, but I knew this wouldn't make me a fool.

I'm so afraid of not living something real, that I forget that loving is real. A kiss, or a touch, they're just the outcome. The feeling, the passion, the desire, all of those things are real. And I know it because I feel them burning my skin, exploding my mind and dilacerating my heart. That's what real things do to us. When we don't face things, when we don't let them come in, nothing happens, and if something never happened in whatever reality, then it’s very likely that it wasn't real.

If magic takes time, and if I got him on my sights, then the tale I wrote about us is true. And it's a reality, even if not here, right now, or not in this universe. So that's why I've send you a message, even if the me of earlier thought that I would only do that next week if, up to then, you didn't answer me. And that's why I'm not letting old (work or not) situationships guide me with this. And I almost cursed myself when "I can't forget you kiss" made it trough my ears, because I still don't have that, but I know I will, even if it's on my dreams. 

I'll tell you this one day, but I always wanted you; and I can almost damn you for only opening your heart to me and giving me your little references now. But I don't care where you have been, because it's been always you, even if I'm still fighting all the words that I want to tell you. It's magic, it takes time, and I can't wait to see your shelf in person.

PS: I created a secret page who has a short story called The Midnight Drive, inspired by the boy who made me see Magic with other eyes. Maybe you want to try your luck guessing the mysterious word that leads you to the page?

[evcrlasting]

Ha. Paige rolled her eyes at his tone. She wanted to tell him she hated him and how much but even in this scenario she couldn't bring herself to utter it. She could only narrow her eyes at him and scoff. "Shut up." This was exactly why she would come to regret her words. It wasn't like she expected Finn to give her a similar response, not when he had already made it clear where he stood, but she didn't need the reminder either. His presence, the fact that they were even having this conversation, all of it was enough of a reminder. A reminder that she had been too caught up in him. They really should've clarified what they were doing at the start. Then Paige never would've found herself in the same position she always advised her friends to avoid. Situationships were her worst nightmare and clinging to a man who wanted an arms distance from her was humbling. Yet Finn was still here entertaining her and this conversation. Maybe he found it that amusing or maybe he felt what Paige suspected, an attachment that he refused to verbalize. She couldn't be sure and denial wasn't something she wanted to live in. The only thing she could be grateful for was that he wasn't making her feel like a complete embarrassment. Paige shook her head once again. He didn't understand. It wasn't completely unexpected but she should have known it. "That's fine. I mean, I get it so I won't do it anymore." Maybe he'd rethink his words when he realized how unavailable she could be. A bit of her knew she would be petty even without prior plans. Finn simply didn't know what was to come.

it was almost routine to lean into his touch. Unfortunately it was too late for her to realize what was happening. She could only mentally scold herself for not knowing better at the moment. If this were a game that they were playing, then the score was even at the moment. Though she felt a little disadvantaged. Her feelings were out there, her affection was clear, and Finn had a wall of words to protect him. Yet despite everything, Paige could guarantee she at least had some effect on the man. "Aww Finn. You almost sound like you care." She copied his exaggerated affectionate tone from earlier. How great it felt to give him a taste of his own exaggerated medicine. For a man who wanted to be casual, he was a little too concerned about her plans to manage their newfound casuality. "Maybe you're right about that but it's harder to be casual when there's only one man on my roster. Hell, you can't even call that a roster." She loved her friends but they weren't ever going to be enough to fill the romantic hole he had just created in her. If they were pulling back, and it was a both decision at this point, then she would need some help in filling the gap. Sure he hadn't explicitly told her to do so but what else was she going to do? Sit and cry? That couldn't happen until she left his presence. Paige was sure she was going to breakdown the moment she was in the comfort of her own room, under a blanket where no one else would have to know how much she cried outside of the soaked blanket she'd have to throw in the wash. Her feelings weren't just hurt, they were stomped on and destroyed. It wasn't Finn's fault, it was in some ways but she couldn't completely blame him. Paige could only blame herself. Still, momma hadn't raised a fool and Paige was not about to be one today. She shook her head, refocusing on their current conversation. "On the unfortunate case that any of them turn out to be lackluster, I wouldn't tell you. Plus I'm pretty great at choosing men." And apparently even better at choosing men who didn't want to commit. The last thing she'd do was come back crying to Finn about how he was right. They were far from a place to share her escapades. If Finn started talking to her about his dates, failed or not, she would kill the man. Paige had almost wanted to ask Finn if he was too. Going on dates with other girls. The thought had crossed her mind the moment he brought up that they were just casual. Did he have other girls in other cities? She wasn't ready for an answer Not yet. Paige bit back a scoff. He didn't want to see her disappointed? He was a little late in that wish. Did Finn understand the irony of what he was saying? Paige tapped his chest, laughing. "Your ego is great ain't it. You aren't afraid your spot might be at risk? I would if I were you." Just because she had secured his position now, didn't mean it would hold true in the future.

The more their conversation went on, the more Finn felt like he’d just been shoved into a tangled knot and left to his own devices to sift through and miraculously untangle it piece by maddening piece. Paige’s declaration of importance was unexpected, though it would be a lie if he said she wasn’t at all important to him. Would she be the first person he came to whenever he had time off if she didn’t mean something to him? To him, that was much too complicated to think about. He thought he’d made it clear, and that they were on the same page (no joke intended). Dwelling on it only complicated matters. He made it clear, there was no going back on it now. What would be the point? “Important, huh?” he muttered, a little devious smirk twitching at his lips. “Aww, Paige,” he said in an exaggerated affectionate tone, one that did actually hold some sincerity. Even if it was really hard to hear it. Even with his joking attitude though, Finn really struggled to reconcile her actions and words with the casual dynamic he thought they had. He found himself both flattered and annoyed. Why couldn’t she have just gone along with the easy, uncomplicated setup they had? Now, everything was tangled up in emotions and expectations. He ruffled his hair again, a nervous habit that betrayed his outwardly cool demeanor. Finley had to admit it, though; it was bold, it took courage to come out with her feelings like that. Was it worth it, though, when the outcome was…well, whatever this confusing mess had become? Great, now he really did feel like an asshole. He didn’t know it yet, but that indescribable feeling? It was probably guilt. But what did he have to be guilty of? He didn’t do anything wrong. He couldn’t know what he didn’t know. Those thoughts boiled down to the same conclusion so why was his mind running in circles? “I think it’s sweet, just so you know, but at the same time…I don’t know. Just feels a bit weird to put plans on hold for one person.” Especially when that person isn’t ready to commit to a relationship, or anything more than what it currently is, he mentally added.

Her proximity and the casual way she touched his shirt were maddeningly distracting. He didn’t know whether to push her away or pull her closer. Her talk of exploring new connections stirred a confusing mix of emotions in him. The thought of her with someone else made his stomach twist, yet he knew he had no right to feel that way. He was the one who set the boundaries; he was the one who wanted things to stay casual. The only right thing was to nod his head, play along and agree with her. Right? What more could he do? Despite himself, he found a part of him admiring her boldness, her ability to stand her ground without flinching. Finn’s eyes trailed across her face, trying to look for…what was he looking for? Uncertainty? Doubt? She seemed to have neither of those. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he murmured, his fingertips reaching up to gently caress her cheek. An action that felt almost too natural for him. “And uh, I never said that. Pretty sure you put those thoughts in your pretty head all on your own.” As far as he recalled, wasn’t she the one who was quick to hop on to look at her ‘options’? Though, he supposed he didn’t exactly stop her either. Why would he? He just denied the possibility of them becoming anything more than what they already were. “Anyway, I am just saying. When you come to me, complaining about these ‘fun, new connections' being lackluster, don’t get mad at me when I say ‘I told you so.’” His thumb lightly brushed against her skin. “'cause you were warned. I don’t want to see you disappointed.” Said the man who essentially disappointed her in the first place, but he tried to ignore that. “Why would it make me feel any better than I already feel?” he asked, quirking a brow in response to Paige’s comment about being first. “According to you, I’ve always been first. Hardly like I’m losing, when I'm still in the top spot, hm?”That spot was where he planned on staying, too.

[no-quit-lucy]

I accidentally wrote a follow-up because part 1 ended up being too angsty... read on ao3

Lucy didn't want to say that Tim pulling her and River over was the thing that ended their relationship. Because it wasn't, really, it wasn't. It might have been a contributing factor, but it wasn't the reason.

She hadn't shared her dating history at that point, choosing the extremely casual route and knowing less about each other’s histories in an attempt to live in the present and focus on the now. River didn't know the cop that pulled them over was her ex until after he walked away with their license and registration gripped hard in his hand. She explained quietly, only slightly buzzed from her three ciders over an hour and a half, he’s the guy I'm still in love with, and they had shared a laugh that of course, even when dating a cop, you're still not immune to traffic laws and it makes sense, we’d get pulled over in the three minutes LA traffic wasn't a dense and unmanageable nightmare.

Lucy knew going into the relationship that they wouldn't last long. River was addicted to the highs of life and couldn't stay in one place for too long. She knew they'd be skipping town in a few months to go on a European bike tour with no plans to return to LA afterward. Lucy knew she was just along for the ride until the time came.

But after River was put off being in the middle of two cops’ messy relationship drama, the situationship ended sooner than either planned. And Lucy was fine with it, really. They had a conversation, they discussed their grievances and needs, and they talked it out like two emotionally mature consenting adults.

And Lucy moved on.

At work, she could tell from their interactions that therapy was starting to hit Tim hard. The exhaustion and pensive look were constantly present on Tim’s face. Lucy could see him pause and take a moment before entering situations where she was present, likely repeating a mantra in his head or doing a calming breath exercise. That, and his behavior toward her were clear signs he was making forward progress. He went further than being nice to her. He was kind to her. Doing more than the bare minimum required, watching out for her while giving her space to make her own decisions, acting like he had no claim over her because he'd finally realized his deep need to protect the people he loved from harm was in fact the harm he wanted to protect them from.

Lucy was finally hopeful that he hadn't given up on her— on them.

In the back of her mind, Lucy knew she wasn't being kind when her dates picked her up outside the station. There was no intent on her end to shove her new relationships in Tim’s face. She was trying to be respectful of how he was feeling, even if he still struggled to extend the same courtesy to her or to communicate to her how he was feeling at all. She tried her best to avoid it, to meet them a few blocks away or even at the place they were meeting, but for some reason, all her dates wanted to show off that they were dating a hot cop. And for some reason, Lucy kept attracting people who rode bikes. What the hell was that about?

So she was trying something new. Something she hadn't done since grad school to wash the taste of normalcy and expectations from her mouth. After two more than pleasant dates, Gemma parked her Suzuki in the visitor lot and made her way to the front entrance to wait for Lucy.

Lucy, who was in conversation with Tim on her way out. They still weren't friends, but they were friendly. They talked about work only unless they were talking about Kojo. And right now, Tim was asking Lucy if she'd maybe want to go on a walk with him and Kojo sometime. Not the intense hikes they used to do together, no, those provided too much seclusion and alone time to really talk. Tim was asking for something a few rungs down on the commitment ladder. Just a casual walk around his neighborhood, maybe a stop at a food truck for tacos and a beer if the first half of their walk went well. It wasn't a resolution, but it was a step toward fixing what he broke.

Lucy winced when she saw Gemma waiting for her as she stepped out of the precinct doors. She shot Tim an apologetic look and a whispered sorry, though she could tell he didn't know why.

Until Gemma walked up and kissed Lucy’s cheek.

“I snagged us tickets to that pop-up art festival you were showing me last night,” she excitedly announced, paying no mind to the tall man taking a step back from Lucy and shoving his hands deep into his front pocket.

“FADE or Jones-LA?” Tim lifted his bowed head to ask, much to Lucy’s surprise. He used to moan and groan about all the pop-up experiences Lucy wanted to go to when they were dating, but now he was abreast of all the things she was interested in? Huh, nice effort, Bradford.

“FADE,” Lucy confirmed with a slight smile, taking equal distance between the woman in a leather jacket and Tim whose soft cotton zip-up was draped over his forearm.

“Food, art, dance, erotica— what more could you want from a street fair in LA?” Gemma beamed, unaware of the relationship between Lucy and the tall blonde man but bold enough anyway to twine her hand in Lucy’s who reluctantly touched for a moment before pulling away to push her hair behind her ear.

It was awkward to do this dance in front of Tim. But at least he was taking it better than the last time he interrupted one of her dates.

“So, um, I’ll text you the details about Kojo if you want,” Tim suggested hesitantly, looking only at Lucy and trying not to dress down her date with a jealous glare.

“Yes, please do, Tim,” Lucy’s tone and eye contact said a million more words than the ones that came out.

It said this isn't serious. I want you. I want Kojo. Let me know when you're ready to try again.

Tim puffed a small smile at her, hearing what she didn't say. “Have fun and be safe, Luce. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Lucy nodded before walking next to Gemma to her black and orange bike.

Lucy had a feeling this would be the last time she mounted a bike on the back of a near acquaintance.

"You're cute when you're jealous"

Chenford prompt ✨️❤️✨️

Post Break-Up, mayyybeee not what you had in mind, but it's what my mind came up with! Read on ao3

He knows he broke up with her. He knows he has no right to feel this way… Well, actually– his new therapist would remind him he’s allowed to feel any way he feels, it’s what he does with those feelings that matters. He had rolled his eyes when he had heard that, and yet, it bounced around his head as felt the feelings from overhearing Lucy talking to Celina about her upcoming date.

He didn’t feel good.

He felt even worse when he saw an attractive person pick her up from the station on their fucking motorcycle a few days later.

Yeah, it had been months since he broke up with her (the narrative he wrote for himself in an attempt to take responsibility for his own actions, another eye roll given to his therapist) and he had yet to have that adult conversation she wanted from him, so really it was partially his responsibility for the way he was feeling about Lucy moving on with someone else.

If he wanted her to know he still loved her and desired to try again, to get back together, it was up to him to tell her. The feelings that resulted from his lack of action were a consequence of his choice. And he just wasn’t ready for that adult conversation yet. Soon, but not yet. He could live with the consequences for the time being.

So he avoided her when she was clocking out. He walked the other way and busied himself when he saw her new partner show up and sweep her away on dates. He cringed and tried to ignore when he overheard her talking to other officers about the details of her new relationship– of others’ impressions of them getting drinks together, how well matched they seemed.

Three months into Lucy’s new relationship, Tim groaned as he spotted the unintentionally familiar motorbike zoom past him with the back plate flipped up. He didn’t mean to memorize what kind of ride Lucy’s new partner rode, but he couldn’t keep his eyes away every time the obnoxiously loud bright red Ducatti skidded out of the parking lot with the love of his life hanging off the back. And he could tell it was Lucy on the back, able to recognize her easily after spending so many hours memorizing what her body looked and felt like.

Her hair was a little different now, longer and flushed with a recent balayage, she had more recognizable tattoos, a new one on her lower back and another on her forearm. She looked different from the Lucy he dated, even the Lucy he first fell in love with, but at her core, she was still Lucy Chen, the person he imagined spending the rest of his life with.

So he swallowed his pride, his choice to not let the infraction slide by. Technically, it was up to his discretion when and how he enforced laws, and he didn’t need to be pulling over an appropriately sped motorcycle in light traffic in the early evening, especially when he was a Sergeant and had much more effective things he could be doing.

Flashing his lights and sirens, he noticed Lucy tense as her driver pulled over to the side of the road and kicked out the stand to lean the bike over. They turned off the engine and took out the key, knowing well how to perform this little dance.

“License and registration, please,” Tim asked, trying to ignore the way Lucy’s arm was wrapped around the person’s waist and her hand was resting on their upper thigh.

“It’s in my bag, I need to dismount the bike,” the driver announced, knowing cops got antsy if you tried to move without warning them what you were going to do, despite having a cop of their own on their back.

Tim nodded and stepped away, placing his hands securely on his hips for his gun and taser if needed.

Lucy got off the bike as well and removed her helmet. It was obvious once she showed her face that she was intoxicated, Tim could recognize the glassy look in her eyes and the flush running from her cheeks to her chest a mile away. It was how she looked when she was aroused too. Damnit.

 “Have you been drinking tonight?” Tim asked the driver, taking their documents and observing their demeanor for the classic signs. He’d arrest them in a heartbeat if they even thought about drinking and riding with Lucy Chen as their passenger.

“Tim,” Lucy admonished, embarrassed he was doing this when she knew damn well he didn’t have to.

Tim shifted his body away from Lucy, a noticeable defense mechanism he was sure would upset her further.

“No sir,” River Fuentes (as their license stated) said, “My girlfriend had a few ciders, but I stuck to water since I’m operating a motor vehicle tonight.”

Tim tried his best not to feel hurt by the title of girlfriend, but he couldn’t stop the little arrow of jealousy piercing his heart.

“I’m going to run these, stay put,” Tim commanded a touch too harshly, bite clear in his tone.

He heard an “ahhh” of understanding as he walked away followed by a fit of laughter. He clenched the documents tight in his hands hoping to hell he found an outstanding warrant on River Fuentes so he could arrest their ass and stick it to Lucy. What, exactly he would be sticking to Lucy, he wasn’t sure. Maybe just another sign he was too immature and petty to handle an adult relationship and push himself even further away from his desired future. Well, at least he’d have something new to talk about in therapy next week.

He cursed when the check came back clean. Well, other than a ticket for expired registration; Tim knew that meant they got pulled over for something that was not expired registration considering the ticket was issued four months ago and the registration in his hands didn’t expire for another two.

Having no other option but to issue a warning for the flipped license plate in the back, Tim was forced to let them both go and literally ride off into the sunset together.

When he got back to the bike, Lucy, and River, they were speaking in hushed tones, though he could tell it was Spanish. He didn’t have a fucking chance if this was his competition. Still, he remained steely-eyed and stern, a familiar role he knew his therapist would cast down their eyes at.

“Your back plate needs to be visible at all times. Fix it before getting back on the road,” He barked, handing back River’s papers.

“Will do, Sergeant Bradford,” River courteously nodded.

“Tim?” Lucy called as he turned to walk away.

He turned back and resentfully met Lucy’s drunken gaze.

“You’re cute when you're jealous." She giggled before mounting the bike and putting her helmet back on.

He huffed annoyed and got back into his shop, slamming the door harder than necessary. Though, maybe he could be ready for that adult conversation sooner than he thought. He had a stronger incentive now; he never wanted to pull over Lucy and her partner ever again.

Tim watched angrily as River got back on the bike and Lucy molded her body to their back, arms wrapped tight around their middle.

Fuck. He was jealous.

[junkyardguard]

༝༝ ✧ ༝༝ 

It hadn't exactly been the night she planned. Kit showed up with another girl, she had all these old feelings come up over Scamp that she couldn't explain, and now her night ended at the bar. The best thing to happen yet was the guy being attractive but Angel knew as well as anyone that didn't mean anything. Nice guys were usually the worst if she'd learned anything from her last situationship. This was just one night, a bad one that could use some cheering up, and who would she be to not take advantage of it. Besides, when was the last time she'd actually let herself have any fun?

Angel bit back a smile, nodding at his words in agreement. "You're right, more drinking it is," the blonde said simply before throwing back the rest of her drink. More usually wasn't the right answer but tonight seemed like a fair exception. "Not that I don't love my glass too, it wouldn't be terrible to have someone to talk to. Thinking never does anyone any good anyway, right?" The blonde paused. "That was a lot of any's... Never mind," she shook her head before rambling more than she already was. He was a little better looking than she'd expected when she first looked up. "I'm Angel," the blonde introduced, clearing the conversation from her previous rabmlings.

It had been a long one. Landon had spent the night making sure both of his roommates didn't get killed, or kill each other, and it was time for some alone, to himself. He was at a pit stop on the way back to his apartment for one last round before calling it. The Lair had a familiarity about it that made Landon feel strangely at home, an easy spot to find one of his usual bartenders and cop a free round or two. He hadn't come looking for anything other than that, but it was hard to avoid a wallowing blonde at the bar with a whiskey in her hand. Landon didn't know her name, but he'd most definitely seen her around before, keeping in circles that almost crossed, but not quite. Not until right now.

"There's no crying in a club, you know," he said, though not loud enough over the music, especially not from a seat away. The blonde turned to him in confusion, and Landon scooted himself to the seat beside her as he kept a laugh under his breath. "No, I was," Landon confirmed, leaning closer to her to be sure she heard him this time. "It just looked like you could use some company, was all. Unless you want to keep it between yourself and your drink."