#i would've run for the freaking hills too if i was her

[sommerbueckers]

BABE OKAY I HAVE THE BEST IDEAAAA

okay so paige and r go out on like a really cute date and then at the end paige sets up the camera to propose but when she does r pulls out a ring too and they both just start DYINGGGG and btw i literally love you so freaking much

𝟐𝟒𝐊 𝐌𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐜

___________________________________________________________

✰ ❝𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐤𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐢𝐫❞

✰ 𝐰𝐜 :: 𝟏.𝟕𝐤

___________________________________________________________

PAIGE WAS DELICATELY HOLDING your heels in her hand, careful not to hit them against each other and scuff the ends. The two of you were strolling along an empty beach in Kill Devil Hills, the sun disappearing over the horizon as the hours ticked by. Your girlfriend had fallen in step with you, her hair blowing to the side as the sun casted a golden glow on her tanned cheek.

"You look so pretty baby," you murmured smoothly, brushing a stray lock of hair from her face.

A shy smile crossed her face, and she turned away for a brief moment to release a breathless laugh. You loved how nervous she got whenever you complimented her.

"So do you mama," she said, one of her arms breaking free from the hold she had on your shoes to snake across your shoulders. She pulled you closer to her, drawing a giggle out of you as she placed a kiss on top of your head. "Lemme take a pic of you."

Paige fumbled in her pocket for her phone, feeling her hand brush over the tiny velvet box that she'd been waiting all night to bring out. She couldn't decide on the write time, she wanted you to be completely caught off guard. But you were making it harder than ever, you hadn't taken your eyes off of her the entire time.

"Is the lighting good? Make sure you can actually see my face," you told her, glancing back at the sun and slightly shifting in the other direction. "Stand over there so you can see me better."

The blonde shook her head, "How 'bout you turn around and i'll get you looking that way."

"Oh, good idea!" you grinned, twisting around in the sand. You were silent for a moment, giving her a chance to take a few photos before you glanced around. "Should I change my pose?" you asked.

"Turn around!" she laughed, her other hand quickly retreating from her pocket. You were making this harder than it needed to be without even knowing it. You had your own thoughts running wildly through your head. Your curls were up in a bun on the top of your head, and concealed within the bun was a ring tied to a string.

You had no where else to put it.

You had everything all planned out; you'd start by telling her how much she means to you, how the thought of settling down used to make you nervous but now you could do it with confidence because that's how secure she makes you feel. You'd tell her how proud you are of her basketball career and that she stayed true to herself, to God, and to you. You'd thank her for the patience she had with you and your journey through medical school. All the late nights she had stayed up with you to help you study for exams even though she had practice early the next morning. You'd express to her how you had never felt more certain of a decision than you did right now, and that's when you'd do it. You'd take your hair down as majestically as you could muster, and then you'd get down on one knee and ask her, the love of your life, to marry you.

You spun around on your heel, "Okay, let me see them now."

You looped your arm with hers as she swiped through the pictures, favoriting a few as she went by. When she got to the last one, she smiled and shut her phone off, staring down at you. It was the perfect moment, and you would've taken advantage of it if Paige hadn't decided to interrupt it instead.

"You wanna do a fit check?"

"Aren't you supposed to do that before you go out?" you quirked your eyebrow, but the blonde wasn't listening. She was already heading away from the water and toward a couple of rocks that she could set the phone up on.

"You go first." She clicked the tiny pink button and backed up to you.

"How long is this?"

"I put it on ten minutes," she laughed, gently nudging your shoulder with her hand. "Now go."

"Okay guys, this dress is from Hello Molly, all my jewelry and stuff I got from a little shop here, and my heels," you pointed to the shoes that Paige still had dangling from her fingers, "are Christian Louboutin."

She kissed your temple briefly.

"Aight so the shirt and the shorts is a gucci set 'cus y'know I keep it fresh, the shoes are from StockX, and.....the ring is from Verragio."

You stared at the camera for a moment with a smile before turning to look at her outfit. You remembered the day you had picked out the set for her, casually pointing out how you liked the patterns on it as you walked past. Next thing you knew, she was at the register with it in her hands. But there was something else you noticed about her, about her hands; she wasn't wearing any rings.

"What ring?" you frowned.

She reached into her pocket, taking a deep breath as she pulled it out. "This one."

Your eyes widened as she held up the box, her hands trembling slightly. Paige's eyes searched yours, her expression a mix of hope and nervousness. She didn't wait for you to say anything, she was afraid that if she didn't get the words out immediately then she would never have the chance to.

"For as long as i've known you, you've always been the one to make me feel understood. You know exactly what to say after i've had a bad, you never complain about having to massage my back, or my legs, or my feet," she flashed that familiar gummy smile. "You always stay late with me at the gym when I wanna get in some extra reps, you offer to grab my rebounds and play one on one with me even though you don't know a thing about basketball. All that matters to you is that i'm happy.

I love how you never let us go to bed angry at each other, how all your apologies always start off with you offering me food. I love how you anytime you try a new recipe or make a new sauce, you always want me to test it — even though you know it's already perfect. You're always doin' spontaneous things like cutting your hair or taking random trips. I love how determined you are — like you're the only person I know who has the mental capacity to go through medical school. You're so strong willed and independent, and those are things that i've always admired about you. Those are the traits I want you to give our children...someday...in the far future.

You know it's gonna pay off in the long run, and I love how you focus on that instead of how stressful the work is that you're putting in now. But most importantly, I love the way you love me. You make me feel heard, you make me feel seen. And if the world were to end right now, I'd spend my last breath telling you how much I love you. I want you to know that I see you too. I want you to make me the happiest woman in the world and marry me."

It was then that Paige got down on one knee, opening the velvet box and revealing the most gorgeous ring you had ever seen. A white gold, square diamond ring, the kind you had always talked about wanting when you'd go on your tangents about getting engaged. Paige had been listening the entire time, she had heard you. She was staring up at you with red-brimmed eyes, she had started crying. You were crying too, you weren't sure when you had started.

"Baby," she whispered, voice trembling. "Will you marry me?"

Your hand moved to cover your mouth, to cover the choked up cry that you had let out. You had been planning to propose, you hadn't planned on being proposed to. You had come to realize that it was an entirely different set of emotions to prepare for. You fanned for face to dry the tears, laughing and rolling your eyes at her.

"On one condition," you say, reaching up to pull your hair tie from your bun. Shaking your hair loose, you catch the string before it falls to the sand. You hold it up to her, her eyebrows furrowing. It caught the light, a simple yet elegant band that perfectly captured her style—understated, but undeniably beautiful. "You marry me first."

She stood abruptly, glancing back and forth between you and the ring. A breathless laugh escaped her, "You're unbelievable."

You threw your head back and laughed as well, "Dude! I had it all planned out and you beat me to you!"

"You told me you wanted me to propose to you! Forgive me for not expecting you to pull a ring our your hair!"

The two of you were smiling uncontrollably, your cheeks beginning to hurt. Paige's hands were in yours, her lip between her teeth.

"What do you say?" you beamed.

"Yes! Wha— yes!"

You slipped the ring onto her shaking fingers, and she did the same to yours. You squealed at the way the diamonds caught the light, sparkling with a brilliance that seemed to echo the joy in your heart. Paige laughed, the sound full of relief and happiness, her own eyes transfixed by the ring now resting on her hand.

Paige’s smile widened, and she pulled you into a tight embrace, the warmth of her body the only thing keeping you from practically floating with excitement. You were both trembling, hearts racing in sync, as if they too were celebrating this perfect moment.

When she finally pulled back, her eyes were misty with happy tears. "I love you so much," she said, her voice catching.

She leaned in, pressing her forehead to yours, and you could feel the cool metal of the rings against your skin. The world around you seemed to slow, the moment stretching out, filled with nothing but the two of you and the love that connected your hearts.

"I love you more."

___________________________________________________________

[useyernamesteven]

So Wednesday brainrot, right.

Reading the general wiki pages for the Addams family and found a fun little tidbit: the Addams family curse. Apparently, the reason why Wednesday and Pugsley are constantly trying to murder each other is bcuz they can't. An Addams cannot permanently kill another Addams, they just come back to life/regenerate themselves. (Also, Addams's can't die of natural causes, once the've aged they bury themselves and fall into a deep death-like sleep that rejuvenates them, hence why they have the game "wake the dead").

And this got me thinking, how funny it would've been in the show. Like imagine the chaos that could've been!

So Pugsley usually gets the short end of the dynamite stick--being younger and less cunning than his older sister--and has been victim of Wednesday's murder plots more than he's been able to kill her. But he hatches a plan for the next time he visists Nevermore to catch his sister by surprise.

And so it goes on the next Parents day or something, and everyone is in the quad and Wednesday may be just the slightest bit distracted by the new murder cases (and keeping an eye on her roommate for some odd reason) that she doesn't see the javelin before its running through her chest and she falls to the ground dead.

Its panic and chaos all at once. Weems and the teachers try to keep everyone calm, the students and families start bunching up, afraid of another attack, Yoko and Bianca have to forcibly restrain an incredibly distraught and crying Enid. Morticia and Gomez stare at each other in shock... until Pugsley comes whooping and hollering down from the balconies. "I totally gotcha sis!"

Morticia rubs her temples and Gomez turns to scold his son; this is a school yard Pugsley, where are his manners?! Morticia walks up to Wednesday's body and pulls the javelin from her chest, looking to Weems apologetically, greatest condolences, Pugsley can be a handful at the best of times.

Everyone is still incredibly perturbed, bcuz why the fuck are the Addams family having what seems to be a small tiff instead of freaking out or mourning over their now dead daughter?!

Until Wednesday suddenly sits up, and several people faint while others begin wondering if they should be running for the hills.

Wednesday rubs at the still regenerating hole in her chest, getting blood all over her uniform and hands, slowly coming back to her senses. Then, as it suddenly occurs to her that she should be dead but isn't, she slowly turns to look at her nearby family, eyes murderously zoned in on her brother.

Pugsley cowers behind Gomez, hands up in a plea. "W-Wednesday? Hey, wait, we're even!"

Wednesday gets to her feet, a set of daggers in her hands she procured from somewhere on her person. "You have 3 seconds... 1-"

Pugsley turns tail and runs, screeching his head off. Wednesday waits 2 more seconds before pursuing and they both disappear in the school. Morticia sighs and Gomez shrugs, surprised Wednesday actually gave him a head start.

Everyone else is left staring dumbly and incredibly confused. Wednesday returns 5 minutes later with an annoyed look on her face, more blood on her clothes, and carrying Pugsley's severed arm. Several more people pass out and a few get sick at the sight as Wednesday neatly drops it into the fountain, saying he can fetch it himself when he pieces himself back together.

Wednesday garners a new terrifying reputation among the student body. Seriously, don't fuck with Wednesday Addams.

. . .

Idk something like that would've probably been too goofy to have in the show but its still pretty funny to imagine.

(Also, personally, I feel like Pugsley wasn't accurately portrayed. Nothing against the actor, but where was the general Addams oddities? The flair and calamity of the bomb loving boy? The most unusual thing he did was throw grenades in a pond and eat potpourri. He just seemed so... normal? Maybe thats just me but I expected mischief at the very least)

[kitkatwinchester]

...cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool.

This is fine.

Yeah, this is fine.

Definitely no need to panic.

There's not some terrible horrible skin disease just making it's way around the school.

Don't worry about it.

Everything's fine.

ALL good.

That said, as an aside, do people just, like, call the CDC if they see a weird disease? I didn't know you could just do that. I mean, I guess it makes sense, 'cause it's like calling your doctor, but on a larger scale, so that tracks.

Also with that in mind, shout-out to Natalie Martin (side question: why isn't Lydia taking this test with them? Maybe she took it early? I wouldn't put it past her lol.) for being so on top of that and so quick to react and keep other students out of the building. Maybe she knows something we don't and recognizes this as something really bad and that's why she's calling the CDC.

So...that's great. Can't wait for this to be super freaking dangerous and terrifying.

Positive little things I loved before I keep watching.

Loved the chaotic little moment at the beginning of the episode where Scott and Stiles try to hide the money when Malia starts running up the stairs. The way that Scott just shoves it under the bed and Stiles is practically slapping him to hurry up and then they both just stand up like everything's fine. We love them. XD

Loved the little pack moment where they're all trying to build each other up right before the test (oh Stiles...you're not helping, honey XD).

Loved Stiles and his three pencils and two hands, only to drop them all when he gets to a question he's confused about and just stare at it in slight horror.

Loved all of Malia's facial expressions with all of her worry about the test, and even though I feel sooo bad for her, I bet she's gonna do better than she thinks she is.

Loved Scott and Stiles being literally incapable of just focusing on their test once there's another problem in the room, and I love their matching facial expressions.

And last, but certainly not least, loved the way Scott just gave that last little look to Natalie before shutting the door behind the rest of the students as they all filed back into the classroom.

Oh also, as an aside, even if we hadn't gotten that opening with this PSAT proctor clearly doing something evil, I would've guessed he was evil just because he played a really awful serial killer on Criminal Minds.

ANYWAYS.

Let's figure this out, shall we? (Please let them re-take these tests, because they're all distracted as is at this point and deserve a second shot. XD)

(He's so adorable and relatable I cannot. Me too, Stiles. Me too. XD <3)

Update: STILES IS ITCHING! I REPEAT!! STILES IS ITCHING! NO LIKEY!! NO! LIKEY!!

Update Part 2: F*CK F*CK F*CK F*CK F*CK!! SCOTT HAS IT!! I REPEAT!! SCOTT HAS IT!!! I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS!!!

Update Part 3: Melissa and Noah's concern for their kids has me all kinds of emotional and the fact that one of those kids is PARTICULARLY AT RISK and ACTIVELY HAS IT makes me even MORE emotional and I just--- As a positive aside, love Deaton's "not something, someone" because THIS is how awesome it is to have parental resources in all corners of Beacon Hills. Anyways SOMEONE CURE THIS PLEASE!

[clairethecutepup]

The Dreams and Nightmares We Share... Bonus Content: Deleted Scene

From Chapter: "In Your Dreams (Too)"

Chapter one was originally planned to have things differently, with Seve and Alexis going to find Claire on their own; while Sarah and Jimmy would've stayed behind in the village to absorb the pigs' admiration (Jimmy mostly), until the two goats brought Claire back as the actual ones to (hopelessly) disprove her "dangerousness." This deleted scene takes place after Sarah and Jimmy return to the village, where they come across a searching Seve and Alexis (the latter searching a trash can's insides), after their run-in with Claire outside. Be warned: lacked revision and all, so a possibility of typos and whatnot, as it wasn't the final product.

“Hmph, I guess they could’ve just been freaked out because she’s so weird-looking…” Sarah rolls her eyes, “At least, it LOOKED like a girl, I guess…?”

“Oh, I wanna see!” Alexis lifts her head, the lid hanging off it, “I love ‘weird-looking’ things!”

Seve asks, “Is that why you filled your ‘playground’ thing with those sock monsters?”

“How could you NOT love them, Seve…? They’re so silly and a neat, new way for socks to be inside shoes!”

“Because they were always trying to literally kick my butt?”

Alexis then hops over to Sarah and Jimmy, foregoing her “hat.”

“Please, can you guys show me?” Alexis gives puppy dog eyes, “Where can I see it?”

“Good luck,” Sarah folds her arms, “she basically ran for the hills, after Jimmy and I got too close.”

“I admit,” Jimmy adds, “I can’t help but feel a little worried about the small thing… She seems to be quite the nervous wreck, and others seem to easily have it out for her.”

“Who cares?” Sarah looks at him, “She’s probably not even another ‘real’ person sharing this dream, or however you guys put it…”

Alexis grins larger, “I still wanna see!”

“... Just keep going THAT way,” Sarah points, “Maybe you’ll catch up with her, but you might wanna hurry…”

***

Claire catches her breath, after hiding inside a log that slightly sits behind the forest line. First, some “pig-hybrids” started screaming at her and panicking, now two “full-humans” were doing near-similar! Yet, Claire found the pigs odd… Sure, it was possible for SOME hybrids to look more like anthropomorphic animals, hence their nickname of “anthros,” but it’s quite rare for someone to have enough animal genetics for such a thing. Usually, the presence of paws or extra fur would be the ONLY further addition to the standard tail and ears-- excluding the paw pads that could be found on almost any hybrid’s hands, even when they’re of the standard humanistic nature.

Come to think of it, those full-humans were odd, too… Hybrids are just as common as those entirely human, the former even outnumbering the latter in Claire’s hometown, so why were they acting so terrified and surprised toward her? Better question: how did Claire get to THIS town? All she remembers is climbing out of this very log and trying to see if she could find any friends or family. Claire begins to sniffle, feeling all alone and scared she’ll never find her way back home. Unfortunately, that fear is about to be heightened, now that goat-girl has found wolf-girl. Alexis could never miss a big, blue tail sticking outside of a log.

She peers in, “Hi!”

Claire jolts up, easily standing on all fours without hitting her head. Before her equally-lengthened arms and legs can bolt off, she looks over her shoulder to see who exactly it is. Wait, was this ANOTHER “anthro” hybrid…?

“Oops, sorry!” Alexis continues, “I didn’t mean to scare you, I just wanted to see what you were like! So, can I? I promise I won’t bite!”

Well, this strange person wasn’t acting all scared and shouty, so maybe Claire didn’t need to get out of here…? Trembling, Claire slowly turns around, still having her arms serve as additional legs. Well, she’s not as “weird” as Alexis might’ve been hoping for, but that doesn’t mean she has no appeal! Those big, blue eyes, those big and soft big paws for hands-- how could Alexis NOT just need to squeeze her?! Claire barely had time to react toward the sudden oncoming hug, much to her horrified dismay…

“Oh my gosh,” Alexis squealed, “you’re so cute!”

Alexis always fawned over whatever non-goat creature was currently before her, whether it be: spiders, puppies, or whatever THIS was. Of course, many often dreaded the thought of her actually caring for such things, with Seve even fearing the idea of Alexis being trusted with a simple pet rock. Actually, mention the name, “Hamilton” and you’ll get a sniffle from Alexis, as she recalls the shattered rock she found herself burying the pieces of-- little coffin included. Not to say Alexis was some oblivious abuser to whatever couldn’t speak and all, she just had her… quirks.

Fortunately, Claire is luckier: Alexis’ hug is tight, but not crushing nor suffocating. Still, despite how kind and gentle Alexis may be, Claire is STILL being held by a complete stranger and without any comforting, familiar face around to help if things go wrong. Plus, Alexis’ appearance made the pup uneasy: there was something about the dreary and gothic nature to Alexis’ overall appearance, alongside the sharp horn and sharpness of her hooved digits… Alexis frowns at how Claire trembles against her and keeps her eyes shut tightly, as if expecting the goat to suddenly tear her apart.

“Aww, don’t be afraid…” Alexis nuzzles her head into Claire’s, “I really WON’T hurt you, I promise!” she giggles, “You’re so soft and tiny, how could those pigs think you were some big, scary monster?”

Claire opens an eye, finally believing that Alexis was more cuddler than murderer.

“Hey, Lexi, where are ya?” Seve calls out, “Did you get your fill of ‘weird looks’ or whatever?”

“I found her, Seve!” Alexis comes out, still holding Claire, “Say, do you think we could keep her around…?”

Seve folds his arms and raises an eyebrow.

“Hamilton.”

Alexis sniffles a little, but shakes her head and snaps herself out of it.

“I don’t mean it like I’m gonna ‘KEEP her, keep her,’ Seve, just keep her with us until we wake up!”

“I don’t know…” Seve looks up and taps his foot, “It feels kind of creepy to basically FORCE someone to just tag along with us.”

“Maybe she WANTS to!” Alexis then looks to Claire, “Please, come with us…? We promise to be a lot nicer to you than those pigs were…”

“Actually,” Seve protests, “MY treatment’s gonna depend on how YOU treat me first…”

Alexis repeats, “Please…?”

Well, it’s not exactly like Claire already had someone else to depend on currently… Not to mention, though intense as Alexis may come off to the pup, she genuinely seems to like Claire and probably won’t do worse than surprise hugs. Plus, Alexis’ friendliness and energy did have a soothing familiarity to it, akin to her “big buddy” of Leena. Claire nods, causing Alexis to tighten the embrace.

“Yay, we’ve got a new friend!” Alexis cheers, “So, what’s YOUR name? I’M Alexis, and THAT’S Seve!” she then notices the collar worn, “Oh wait, is it on THERE?” she takes the tag into a hoof, “‘Clarissa Vellll--’... Uh, Seve, how do you pronounce that other name?”

Wait, this girl wore a collar…? Was she someone’s weird pet? Well, whatever, Seve’s seen crazier in his dreams. May as well take a look himself… Only to realize he’s also plum out of luck on figuring out how “Vlcek” is supposed to be pronounced.

“I think we’ll be fine just sticking to the first name,” Seve sighs, then perks up, “Hold on, it looks like she’s got phone numbers on here…”

Oh right, Claire’s tag! Some preferred medical bracelets for those of health issues or… “mental concerns,” to put it nicely, and some found collars more convenient. Hey, in a world of animal-hybrids, such neckwear could be considered fashionable beyond standard pets. Maybe she could get them to call home and have her family take her back? She needs to literally point it out and tell them-- to the best of her abilities, anyway.

“Call home!” Claire smiles, “Call par--”

Claire freezes. Did she just speak out ENTIRE words…? 

“... Am I talking right?” she asks, “I think so…”

“Uh, yeah, you’re talking…” Seve raises an eyebrow, “So, you’re saying you want us to call your house or whatever?”

Claire nods, as her eyes dart around in wonderment toward her mouth’s sudden lack of missing syllables and letters.

“Oh, I know!” Alexis suggests,

[End of Content]

[mittensmorgul]

I was impressed that you were so precisely on the nose regarding chuck’s manipulation of Eileen (I’ll admit, I only latched on to this theory relatively recently >.>). Any tips on staying positive as we wait for Rowena to return to the narrative? I found it discouraging that she was so absent from chuck’s ‘memories’

It’s funny, because I find it encouraging that Rowena hasn’t been part of Chuck’s memories. Neither has Jack, nor Billie, nor the Empty. Nor Cas, really, outside of 15.09, and the fact that taking the mark would drive him mad like the MoC did to Dean, and Dean had to lock him up in a Ma’lak box...

especially since Eduardo Sanchez tweeted a selfie with one of the statues in Hell the other day... episode 15.14...

OOH, and did anyone else find it strange that Chuck’s “true visions of the future” ALL had Sam and Dean wearing the same clothes, despite being months and even years in the future? Dean leaving the bunker in that same shirt, no jacket? I loved that particular consistency, because it poked a massive hole in Chuck’s telling of the future as if it was time travel or some “true seeing.”

I mean, Eileen could still be Sam’s endgame, and she could choose to return of her own free will at the end (or even before the end). But the show has bent over backward to tell us that Sam and Eileen have never had a romantic relationship before her resurrection. It’s bent over backward showing us that they have potential there, that they have fun together, but that they have some serious communication issues (their “agreement” that Dean completely misinterpreted as something cute and couple-y, but that was actually about Eileen setting some boundaries because of Sam’s overprotectiveness, and honestly good for her). And Sam’s REPEATED insistence to Dean that “it’s not like that” every time Dean tried to nudge him toward Eileen.

BUT! If Eileen is Sam’s intended romantic partner for the end of the series, it would be the very beginning of a relationship between them. A “so the world’s not ending, do you want to go for a coffee and see if this goes anywhere” type of relationship, and not a long-standing Grand Romance. It could be cute! Them choosing to get together, but there’s no foundation for that now. She was literally Chuck’s plot device this entire time, and Sam’s kiss at the end wasn’t enough to hold her there. Sam wasn’t enough to hold her there when Chuck wasn’t controlling her into pushing the romance plot. I can’t see their relationship to this point as anything but icky because of that. A couple of cute, flirtatious scenes from years in the past are not enough to cancel out how she was directly manipulated into pursuing a romance. Can we all agree it’s more than a little skeevy, because she literally had no choice in the matter?

To me, it puts her on a direct parallel with Lilith-- both her original incarnation and how Chuck manipulated her into seducing Sam in 4.18, and how Chuck tried to use her to manipulate Dean into a seduction in 15.05-- one episode before Chuck put Eileen’s ghost into the bunker to seduce Sam. The difference here is that Eileen is real, and alive again, and free (we hope) from Chuck’s control, because... Sam didn’t buy into Chuck’s romance plot.

Heck I have so much more to say about Chuck’s “storytelling” in general, and how it’s woven throughout s15, but I’ve been thinking of all of Sam’s visions of the future in 15.09 as exactly the same as Dean’s visions of “the future” in 5.04. I mean, Chuck’s final ending for Sam and Dean didn’t even make SENSE. And you could see it on his face that he KNEW this was a dumbass story, that he was lying his way through the whole thing like the lying liar he is.

I mean, he told Sam with a repressed glee that it would be the monsters overrunning the world if they locked him away. THAT is what broke Sam’s will to go through with it. Chuck has him convinced that without him in the universe to keep the balance, then “darkness” would take over, and the monsters are darkness. Yet... we know that Chuck is the one with the monster obsession. He’s the one who created the Leviathan in the first place, he’s the one who subtly arranged everything that led to their eventual release from Purgatory, he’s the one who created the “British Men of Letters” as an adversary intent on wiping out all the monsters which only stirred up the monster population to new levels of anger against humanity. And he’s the one whose only appearance this year that I actually trust was in 15.04, when he talked to Becky trying to get his “writing mojo” back... because what he cared about... was the MONSTERS.

I can’t help but think of the AU’s of s13 as an honest glimpse into Chuck’s other failed universes... all of them having lost to the monsters. Kaia’s “Bad Place” overrun by giant trolls and Predator-looking things, the feral vampires in the Apocalypse AU, and then in s14, AU Michael planning to organize the monster population into his personal army to destroy humanity.

This... is Chuck’s plot for s15. Jack ruined his plot for s14 when he ate Michael. Chuck just couldn’t stand for that. Jack’s not part of his story. Doesn’t fit in with Chuck’s apocalyptic vision of the End.

But... Eileen did. Eileen was integral to it. Of all the people he could’ve manipulated into playing the role of Chuck’s mole, he picked her. I’m really glad she’s earned her freedom and life back now, but heck... the romance? It was never real.

I feel like I should make an entirely separate post about Rowena, but lol I already wrote a treatise on her entire character arc, and without more canon to make assumptions on, I’m gonna just point people toward the thing I wrote about her and posted way back on December 1, a few days after 15.06 aired:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21641770

(it’s 13k words, too long for the tumbls)

[hokkaidossoul12]

So I recently got into the friday night funkin fandom and a idea came to mind, what if I draw Dorothy as a friday night funkin character. I had then idea of giving her a blue heart-shaped microphone with blue dungarees with sky blue fishnet shirt underneath. Oh, if you didn't know this about Dorothy yet, she is extremely nervous about singing in front of other people and if you can see closely her gem is a light purple color (meaning she is scared or nervous).

If I knew how to I would create a mod with Dorothy in it, and this would kinda be a plot/backstory to how she met certain characters. Dorothy would've been gifted the blue heart mic by Carol and  Dorothy would occasionally go into a private area where she would practice and sing her heart out. But, someone had soon caught her and began recording her as she sung, not knowing that someone was recording her. The video was quickly posted online where it soon became viral. It was a few days after that people started noticing her and Dorothy was soon crowded by a large amount of people she didn't even know, complimenting her voice and trying to get her to sing for them. Dorothy began to feel confused and nervous as to why people were wanting her to sing, she asked why they wanted her to sing for them when one of them showed her the video of herself up online. She had fear in her eyes at realizing that everyone would know about her voice, she then made up an excuse that she had a sore throat and couldn't sing in order to get away from the crowd. This went on for days, weeks, months even, she would go outside where there'd be a crowd of people waiting for her, and each day she would try to avoid the crowd of people by hiding her appearance with a large coat. But, she couldn't hide her appearance forever as one day the blue heart microphone she had on her had fallen out of her pocket, someone had seen the mic fall from her pocket and they ended up approaching Dorothy to give it back her, as they did so they decided to pull her coat off her to reveal her appearance to everyone. Dorothy shook as people began to surround her, demanding her to sing for them. Eventually Dorothy couldn't take it anymore and she ran away, but the crowd began to chase her. Quickly she ran far from the crowd and into a hidden alleyway right out of sight, she then heard the crowd of people run right past where she was hiding and she backed away in fear, eventually the crowd went away from the area, Dorothy breathed heavily and she backed up into a wall and slid down gently, tears formed in her eyes. She put her hands to her face and cried into her hands, not being able to hold her tears back. But, what Dorothy didn't know was that someone was in the alley with her, they were a rather tall figure with flame orange eyes. They stared down at her, they had a somewhat grumpy expression on their face, it was as though they were trying to hide away to as to not get caught. They scowled, Dorothy was making too much noise, it was going to get them both caught, they quietly immerged from the shadows to reveal their appearance, they resemble the body of person with a dark teal blue hoodie but had a bomb for a head. He got close to her and stared down at her, "hey, keep it down, would ya? your gonna get us-" Dorothy gasped and uncovered her hands from her face, she screamed at seeing the tall figure practically towering over her. The bomb-headed person was quick to react, he covered Dorothy's mouth to muffle her scream and held her against him, he was knelt down now so he could hold Dorothy in place. The bomb wait for a few moment, he then looked at Dorothy, he saw the panicked look in her eyes as she stared at him in fear, "shh...I'm not gonna hurt you, so you can calm down now..." Dorothy's expression seemed to soften now and she slowly calmed down. It was then that the bomb-headed person released Dorothy, she pulled away from the him, she was still nervous. There was then an awkward silence between the two of them, the bomb then took a moment to look at Dorothy before speaking up, "wait...you look familiar...", Dorothy sighed and looked away, "yeah yeah, I know...the video of me is all over the internet", "well...yes, but...your one of Carol's friends, right?" Dorothy looked at the bomb. "How did you know?", the bomb-headed person then pointed to the mic in her pocket, "she told me about you and that you carry that mic around with you." Dorothy spoke softly, "yeah...she got it for me a while ago, she thought I would go out in the world and start a singing

career..." she looked down at the ground before sitting back down, "but...I'm too much of a coward, I can't even sing in front of people without freaking out..." the bomb's expression seemed to soften off like Dorothy's. He knew how she felt. They both fell silence again as they did moments ago, this time they stayed quiet for longer. Dorothy gave herself some time before she was the one to speak up, "so...Carol and you...are you two friends as well?", she saw the bomb blush a bright orange, "well, you could say were...more than that." Dorothy paused for a moment before raising her head, something seemed to click in her head "wait...so your that boyfriend she's been talking about? Whitty's the name, right?" the bomb's eyes widened before he turned his head to Dorothy. "wait...how did you-", "She's crazy about you, loves to talk about you a lot, and I mean a lot", the bomb blushes more at that, Dorothy giggles at his reaction, "it good now that I know who you are, the name's Dorothy" she gives the bomb a small smile. The bomb looks at her and he couldn't help but smile back, "it's nice to meet you too." And so from then on Dorothy and Whitty begun to hang out more, they found many things they could relate to. They both learned each other's personalities and boundaries in conversations, and because of Whitty Dorothy had a boost in confidence in her singing. But, there were many other times where Dorothy had to have some time to herself to roam around. And it was one of those days in particular where she met a certain blue-haired male. Dorothy had decided to wonder down a part of town that she'd never come across before and heard what sounded like live music nearby. Curiosity ended up getting the better of her as she began to follow the sound of the music which she found lead to nearest train station, the closer in she got the more she could here the music. Dorothy then saw a young female in small red high heels with a red dress and merlot red hair, there was also two young males, one with a white shirt and a red symbol who had blue hair with a red and blue cap and a mic in his hand, then there was the other male who wore a green shirt long-sleeved shirt with ginger hair with a mic in one hand and a gun in the other. The ginger male seemed to be rapping/singing while the blue haired male seemed to be singing, it was as if they were having a singing battle. Dorothy continued to watch them sing away with her occasionally humming along to them sing/rap. It was soon after that the battle seemed to be over, both males seemed to shake hands in the end, Dorothy smiled at this. The ginger haired male then left the area, jumping onto one of the moving trains from nearby, Dorothy was surprised by this but then shrugged it off. Once the train that the ginger haired male had gone on left, Dorothy decided to leave, having seen enough around the roam and ready to head back home. But, it was then that the blue-haired male had caught a glimpse of Dorothy as she left the station, his eyes widened, he pulled out his phone to check if it was really her, the blue-haired male recognized from the popular video of her singing online. Believe it or not, he always wanted to opportunity to sing with her ever since the video blew up, he wasn't going to waste this once in a life time opportunity now. He and the female quickly grabbed the speaker and quickly went to the direction Dorothy had gone in. Dorothy had began walking down the streets and across the crossing to get back home with the blue-haired male and red-haired female chasing up behind her. It was then that Dorothy had seen the park inside the town which lead to a convenient shortcut to her home and so she went through the park, as she did she felt the nice grass from the park on her feet, she sniffed the air as she enjoyed the smells around her, she enjoyed the smells so much that she began running through the grass as she felt how nice the wind was on her fur. As Dorothy ran through the grass she noticed that there was a big hill with what looked like a perfect view on the top

with trees and the sun hitting the hill nicely, she then began to run towards and up the hill til she reached the top of the hill to met by more wind blowing against her fur and a beautiful view of the town below, she then sat down on the hill as she saw the view. "wow..." Dorothy had a glimmer in her eyes at the view, she sighed. That was then quickly interrupted by hearing the sound of something hitting the ground behind her, "h-huh?" she turned her head to see the speakers from before then the blue-haired male come toward her. "Beep!" Dorothy backed away from the blue-haired male, putting out her hands in front of her in defense. "l-look...I'm not looking for any trouble, ok?" she had a nervous look on her face as the blue-haired male continued his approach, he then pulled out his microphone and switched it on, "wait...what are you doing?", Dorothy then saw him tap the mic to make sure it was working. The blue-haired male then looked back up at her, "I've been waiting for this for a long time, you have no idea, Dorothy!" she paused for a minute, she tried to figure out what he was talking about until she finally understood what he meant. "woah woah woah! hang on there, mister, I don't do this type of thing!" the male smiled, "sure you do, you are a viral sensation, I thought you sung for a living?", "n-not in front of people...I can't...I-I g-et too nervous." the female went to Dorothy, the red-haired female could see how nervous she was and so she pulled Dorothy toward the speakers, the red-haired female then stuck out her hand "give me your microphone." Dorothy hesitated for a moment before pulling out her blue heart mic and giving it the red-haired female, it was barely even ten seconds before she was about to connect her microphone to the speaker. "w-woah...", the red-haired female then gave her microphone back to Dorothy, Dorothy then saw the female then sit up on the speaker and pull out her phone, pulling up something on her phone before pressing something on her phone, it was then that a slow instrumental song came from the speakers. "how about I help you warm up? I promise it will be simple for you" Dorothy shook, "b-but I-", "it's ok, boyfriend was nervous the first time he tried to sing...but I slowly helped him through it, all you have to do follow the notes I sing." Dorothy then looked back at the blue-haired male, he gave her a thumbs up, "you'll do great, I know you will!", Dorothy paused before closing her eyes, letting out a sigh before turning back to the red-haired female, "alright, let's go then." The red-haired female then waited for the right beat, giving Dorothy a moment to ready herself. The red-haired female then sung a tune to the music, Dorothy then sing the same tune back, the red-haired female then smile, "that's how you do it!" the red-haired female then sung another tune to which Dorothy repeated it back again, the red-haired female continued to sing a tune while Dorothy repeated them back. Dorothy grew more and more confident from this and eventually she began to sing her own tune to the song that was playing, the red-haired female let Dorothy carry on by herself until the song was finished. Once Dorothy heard the song finish she realized that she had done it just herself, she sweated slight "o-oh...I seemed to have gotten carried away, s-sorry..." she rubbed the back of her head, but...the red-haired female clapped, "no no, that was great! how do you feel now?" Dorothy's nervous expression seemed to fade, "oh, well, I feel...I feel..." Dorothy's tail then began to wag, "really good! I don't feel as nervous as I was, thank you for that, miss." The red-haired female giggle, "it's no problem, and you can call me girlfriend", the blue-haired male then approached her again, "you were awesome, Dorothy!", Dorothy turned to the blue-haired male. "thank you, what is your name if you wouldn't mind telling me?", "my name's boyfriend, but most people call me Keith." Dorothy then smiled at both Keith and girlfriend, "it's great to me you both", Dorothy then faced Keith, "And you know what? I

think I'm ready for that singing battle now, Keith." Keith then saw Dorothy skillfully twirl the blue heart mic in her hand as if it were a pen, she then threw it up in the air and caught it in her other hand, Keith then smirked and got himself ready. "I knew you were gonna say that!" and so the battle began between Dorothy and boyfriend to see who would come on top. ((btw, I used the name Keith for boyfriend since some of the people online referred him to that name.))

[just-anka]

Ladybower trail marathon - 08/06/2019

Race day morning

My best friend from home, her 5yo daughter and J got here Thursday evening so the morning was a bit more chaotic than it usually would've been. The weather forecast for Saturday had been getting progressively worse in the days leading up to it and we woke up to pouring rain, but at that point I had kind of accepted getting soaked as inevitable :'D had the same breakfast I always eat before long runs, then drove the 20 mins out to ladybower.

The start

This was by far the tiniest race I've ever run - just under 100 starters and it didn't have the feel of a race, it looked more like a bunch of trail runners getting together for a group run in the mud and rain. I liked the atmosphere a lot, the only thing I was (stupidly) worried about was coming last - I knew I wouldn't be running a fast time but the idea of actually coming dead last somehow made me feel like I had to start out faster. I still did my best to take it slow, especially because we started out on roads which makes it even more tempting to start out too fast.

Km 1-8

It took me a while to get settled, constantly trying to slow down but not too much, and not be tempted to chase other runners, but I eventually found my pace. This first part was all gentle uphill on country roads, with great views of the reservoir. It wasn't really raining, just drizzling slightly, my legs felt fresh and I was just really enjoying myself. It's a fantastic feeling to finally start a race you've been training for for so long I think. After 8 km, we reached the first aid station where I filled my waterbottles, it was a cupless race with only 4 aid stations so I had my pack with me.

Km 9-21

After the first aid station there weren't really any runners around me anymore so I decided to put in my headphones. The following miles until the halfway point were by far the best of the whole race. Roads turned into bridleway, then single track trail with some more technical sections and some easier ones. The views were amazing and even though it was raining the whole time, it wasn't too windy or cold so I barely noticed it. I cruised up and down the rolling hills, flowing effortlessly and I just couldn't believe how good I felt. Around 10 miles I saw my friends who had walked towards me from the start "backwards" along the course. Got a high five from the kid and they all ran with me for a bit, I was so happy to see them :') my best friends dog went crazy when they stopped, he loves running with me and clearly wasn't happy to be left behind haha. A group of women running a little ahead commented on how cute he is and I ended up running with one of them for a while and we had a really nice chat - she was doing the marathon (which was her 18th o.o) as training for her first 50 miler and was so so nice. At the next aid station she stopped to wait for her friends while I went on. I reached the halfway point around 2h 13min, which was wayyy faster than planned, but I felt too good to really worry about it.

Km 22-28

The next aid station was around 22 km followed by the only actual uphill of the race. I didn't look at the race map all that much beforehand so i didn't know how long or steep it would be, just that it was the only one :'D it turned out to be only about 150m of elevation gain but it was really freaking steep. I walked the whole thing but still passed several people on it, so apparently all the hill running is sort of paying off. Once I got to the top the rain started to pick up and I was greeted by gusts of wind blowing along the edge. The view was fantastic but I didn't get much of an opportunity to take it all in because I was just sooo cold. Luckily the descent started after about a mile and the wind lessened a bit. The second half of the descent was really steep and technical and I again passed like 5 people - I'm really proud of that because when I was running with the group in the fall, my friends routinely ditched me on the downhills because I was so slow on them, and I worked on them a lot. It was also super fun.

Km 29-34

This is when it started to get hard. The last ~13 km were the same as the first, so the downhill was followed by another 8 km of roads. Not fun after so many miles already :'D I had to walk a few times but was mostly keeping it together, telling myself to just focus on the next km (I had "run the mile you're in" written on my hand which is always a good reminder).

Km 34 to the finish

After the last aid station I started to really crash. I was so so tired, freezing cold from the rain and wind and started to feel really sick as well. After a small uphill that I had to walk I finally gave in and stopped to put on my rain jacket - I hate running in them because I always feel like I sweat more than I'd get wet from the rain, but at that point I was just too cold. It helped a bit and I spent the next few miles alternating between running and walking. This part is a blur in my mind, I really just remember being in pain and thinking if there was any way I could quit I'd do it. There wasn't though, so I just kept going. 2 km from the finish I suddenly saw J walking towards me. I was so happy to see him I started tearing up. By then I was feeling so sick I could barely run but having him next to me helped a bit. The last km was all downhill and I somehow managed to run all of it and 'sprint' across the finish line in the pouring rain. And then I started to cry, just like after every half marathon race I've done so far 🤦‍♀️

After the race

After recovering enough to walk and receiving my medal, I hobbled back to the parking lot with J where I changed into dry clothes in the bathroom. It took me forever because my hands were so cold I couldn't feel my fingers and I was just soaked to the bone 😂 but being dry was the best feeling in the world. So was the hot shower once we got home, and the pizza we had for lunch, and hugging my friends. I was so grateful to have them around for this ❤

It's a few days later now and I still can't believe I did this. I haven't run yet but I feel.. recovered? I guess so I'll try a short and slow one tomorrow or so. I'm glad I picked the race I did even though it deffs wasn't an easy one, and most people I saw or talked to were wearing ultra shirts, training for ultras, doing this as their 20th marathon etc etc :'D but despite the horrible weather it was a great experience and even while finishing and feeling like I never want to take another step I thought "I'd do this again in a heartbeat". I love running.

[piecesofmicorazon]

it is finished

yesterday was horrible. it was painful, stressful, frustrating, overwhelming. it was re traumatizing and depressing, full of empty prayers and doubts.

i woke up at 7am to go into the office because i knew it was going to take all day to get the application packet ready. i knew all of the errands i would have to run, and i knew i wouldn't be able to sleep the night before too.

i got to the office and got to work. started printing, scanning, writing, editing, erasing, re-printing, assembling. it took 5 hours for that alone, as i needed to make sure every single document was perfect. this is not me being a perfectionist, but truly because they don't show mercy for any errors with this process.

i had to write the proof of employment letters for my boss and i had to wait until her and my CEO, all the way in france, would get back to me with the document signed.

i had to go get my passport photos taken and go to the bank to get a blank check to attach fucking $600 for the application alone.

i went to the bank, only for them to tell me, i would need to order a check book which would take 2 weeks to get to me.

now. i could keep talking about how agonizing yesterday was for me. how much i cried and how pitiful this part of my life is. but i'm tired of talking about that. i've already told God that part, i've already left that pain at His feet.

but today, i want to talk about the blessings that happened yesterday instead.

yesterday, i went to my office and there was a printer, free for whatever use i needed it for. i probably printed & scanned over 1000 pages in color, all for free. i didn't need to go to a library or somewhere public, where people would've looked at me weird or where the printing bill would've been over $100. nobody was in the office yesterday, so i could comfortably cry in peace while assembling the packet.

i got my passport photos taken that cost a lot but i was able to get them for free because they accidentally made an extra copy.

my boss literally let me write the letter, proving that this was for a work trip, telling me that "she'll sign whatever or do whatever she needs to do to make it work." my CEO, all the way in france, sent over the signed letter in less than 5 minutes, even though i know he has so much on his plate. do you know how rare it is to find a company that supports you no matter what? especially for something so complicated and tedious as this? for her to say, "we got you no matter what, what else do you need from me?"

when i found out i didn't have a check i was able to write, i started freaking out a little. why is it that the first person i call, nene, happens to have a checkbook? i mean who even has checkbooks these days? and what's the craziest part of all, is that without any hesitation, she said i'll write whatever you need, even after i told her it was $600.

i got all the papers together, paper clipped everything in place, and went over to nene's. she's had to deal with so many visa issues as well so i know she'd understand.

on my way, even though i was so angry at God, decided to look at the bible app. romans 8:38-39 was the verse of the day yesterday. crazy.

i got to nene's, she wrote the check and told me to pay her back whenever i was ready. we went to fedex together and mailed everything out. it was done. a process that usually takes me a week, after consulting/reviewing everything w my lawyer, i did it in one day. yes, i did that shit!

the day before this, i was so discouraged and just in my room crying all day. jordan came home and told me to let it all out. i told her how much i wanted to give up and how this was not worth it for me. how i'm tired of fighting and being strong, and God has not been with me through this. she told me that i wasn't even letting God get the chance to show Himself. He moves mountains, and to him, this is nothing but a small ant hill. She tells me that i need to try at least, to at least submit the application and let God show his glory doing the rest. she prayed for me, praised God for still being so faithful, and read me verses even though i couldn't get myself to say anything. and then she just held me and told me that it's okay to cry.

this is something that’s been hanging over my head for my whole life and it’s so triggering every time I have to deal with it, it’s so frustrating and something I’ve had to face alone because of how tedious and specific every document needs to be.

though this circumstance is hard, it's always in these moments God reminds me how loved and supported i am. this is a battle i've had to face alone, but God shows me that i don't have to. i feel like He's reminding me to look at Him, through the many people he's put in my life. even yesterday alone, i see all the friends who are walking this journey with me.

i realize that i am so loved, it overflows my cup.

sheri and erin, always sending me the most perfect things i need to hear, and radiating their love where i can feel it through a phone screen.

jordan, who a couple months ago would've been unsure how to comfort me, but just knew exactly what i needed in that moment.

nene, who eagerly was willing to do whatever i needed in that moment, even if it meant writing a huge check.

my boss, who tells me she's going to do whatever it takes to make it work.

daniela, who reminds me how brave and gallant i am for getting it done and sends me a cake to my house to celebrate.

and how could i ever doubt God's faithfulness? when he proves it to me in tenfolds?

i am also learning that it's okay to not do it alone. to ask for help and support, to lean on my people when it's hard to bear. that they love me just as i am, not the strong persona i often wear.

and though i wish i never had to deal with this in the first place, perhaps i wouldn't have been able to experience these blessings at such capacity if it wasn't for something as hard as this.

sheri reminds me that God absolutely hears my cry and how I can't forget the constant faithfulness that's carried me through until now too. "He loves you and wants the best for you and that will never ever be dependent on our circumstances and what is seen. You are very much loved and supported!! If this much by me than even more by God. He sees you"

yesterday, i felt like i was drowning; in all the paperwork, the errands, the trauma, everything. but turns out i was actually drowning in Jesus; His love and mercy that helped me get it all done.

i do recognize that not many could've done what i did, and i'm stronger for it. sometimes i wish God didn't want me to be so strong and deal with things like this, but i know this is my path and God is running alongside me, even when it feels like He's not.

so there. it's all done now. i did it, and i can only hope God will finish it. realistically and legally, the odds are against my favor and in a normal world, this wouldn't work. but my God is not normal, and all i can do is pray His will is done; though in this case, i hope his will is for me to go to Paris ;-)

Jesus, you are indescribably glorious, my cup is constantly overflowing.

yesterday was extraordinary. it was full of being loved, heard, seen. full of faithfulness and surrendering, trusting and hoping. it was accomplishing and finishing.

through it all, life is so beautiful.

[sethmurfie-blog]

SHOWDOWN - [Feb. 14, 2:14 a.m.]

I WAS RUNNING. IT WAS STILL THE THIRTEENTH AND NEARING MIDNIGHT, AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE CALEB WOULD'VE GONE BUT THE FIRST THING I'D CHECK WOULD BE OUR HOME. AS I DASH PASSED THE ICE-COVERED HILL AND SEE FOOTSTEPS THAT MUST'VE BEEN THERE EARLIER TONIGHT, I SPRINT AND SPRINT UNTIL I'M PANTING AND STORMING THROUGH THE NEIGHBORHOOD, COMING CLOSE TO OUR HOUSEHOLD. MY FISTS WERE CLENCHED BY MY SIDE.

“YOU CAN ONLY LAUGH HORRIBLY AT PEOPLE’S PLIGHTS IF YOU’VE NEVER EVEN YOURSELF FELT THE TERRIBLE PAIN,” I MUTTERED IN A FETID RAGE.

BUT THEN I SUDDENLY STOPPED WHEN I SAW SOME KIND OF LAMP, SHINING, UP ON OUR ROOF. “HEY, WAIT. PLEASE, SOMEONE, ELABORATE ON THAT PETULANT LIGHT BREAKING OUT THROUGH OUR HORRENDOUS WINDOW PANE.”

AND I SAW PORRIDGE. THE PORRIDGE I KNOW. SHE WAS SITTING, ON THE ROOF, WITH HER ONE GLOVED HAND COVERING UP HER FACE, AND THE COINS REFLECTING LAMPLIGHT PERFECTLY. “Oh...” SHE SAID, “me.” SHE MUTTERED IT ENTIRELY TO HERSELF. SHE LOOKED EXHAUSTED.

“I THINK IT’S CLEAR THAT THE TIME HAS COME WHEN SHE HAS NOW JUST SPOKEN,” I FOUND MYSELF SAYING, EVEN THOUGH I DON’T KNOW WHY, AND NOT VERY LOUDLY.

PORRIDGE STILL COULDN’T HEAR ME. “Oh...” SHE SIGHED. THEN SHE SAID SOMETHING: “Seth.”

I JERKED UPRIGHT. HAD SHE JUST SAID MY NAME?

“Why are...” HER VOICE WAS IN AN UNDERBELLIED CROAK AND NOT EVEN AUDIBLE NOW. SHE SAID SOMETHING I COULDN’T QUITE HEAR AT FIRST, BUT THEN SHE SAID IT AGAIN. “Why are you Seth,” SHE SAID VERY LOWLY AND VERY SLOWLY.

“ALRIGHT SHOULD I CONTINUE TO LISTEN OR IS IT TIME THAT I CAME IN AND MADE MY FATAL APPEARANCE,” I ASKED WITH A LARGE FLOURISH OF PRACTICAL-JOKE CANS.

AS THE SILLY SNAKES SPRANG FROM THE FAUX PEANUT CONTAINERS ON MY HIP, PORRIDGE JERKED UPRIGHT. I HAD ESSENTIALLY SAID WHAT I’D SAID IN AN OPERATIC BELT, WHICH IS DIFFICULT TO NOT INTER.

“Seth?” SHE SAID, AWARE OF ME FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. “What are you doing down there?”

“WHY DON’T YOU TELL ME WHAT IT IS YOU’RE DOING UP THERE.”

"Um—" SHE LOOKED DOWN. "Caleb. Told me to meet him here—"

"ALRIGHT REALLY THAT'S WONDERFUL, GREAT, GOOD NEWS IN FACT WHY DON'T WE SUBSCRIBE TO CNN AND MAKE IT INTO A WORLD- MURFIE-WIDE-NEWS FLASH."

SHE STARED. THEN, SHE SLOWLY, WITH SHAKING LEGS, STOOD, UP ON THE ROOF. CALEB HAD STRUNG THE MULTI-COLORED CHRISTMAS LIGHTS FROM THAT TERRIBLE PARTY ALONG THE GUTTER AND THE EAVES, SO THOSE LIGHTS SHINED OFF OF HER TOO. "Seth," SAID PORRIDGE. "I'm—I'm sorry—"

"WHY DID YOU EVEN COME HERE?" I SAID. I WAS FACING AWAY FROM HER, ARMS SLACK AT MY SIDES. "THIS WAS A QUESTION YOU NEVER EVEN BOTHERED TO ANSWER, REALLY."

PORRIDGE, HOLDING HER RIGHT HAND IN FRONT OF HER FACE AND HER GLOVE TREMBLING AS SHE GAZED. THEN SHE SAID, "Well, I-I don't know. It's..."

"HOW DID YOU EVEN ARRANGE TO TRAVEL HERE THEN, WITH CART AND HORSE?"

"No," SHE SAID. "Actually," SHE ADDED, OBVIOUSLY HOPEFUL FOR A CHANGE IN TOPIC, "I used this app to get my luggage over here ahead of time. I had put my old mask on the suitcase so it would be marked from the others. I'd love to meet the person who developed that app, it was great—"

"ALRIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH" I SAID. CALEB. THE FABRIC AT THE DETROIT AIRPORT. OF FUCKING COURSE.

PORRIDGE HESITATED. "Seth—?"

"WHATEVER, FORGET IT!" I LOOKED UP AT HER, ON THE SECOND-STORY ROOF OF MY HOME. I WONDER HOW SHE GOT UP THERE ANYHOW. CALEB WOULD ALWAYS GET DOWN OFF THE ROOF BY WAY OF LEAPING ONTO THE HOOD OF HIS CAR, BUT THAT WAS PARKED IN THE GARAGE NOW. AND—

"hey, buddy!" 

I LOOKED UP.

"wanna give us a little privacy?" SAID CALEB, WHO WAS STRIDING OVER, COATTAILS FLOWING BEHIND HIM ANGRILY.

"Wait, Caleb—" STARTED PORRIDGE, BUT I CUT IN.

"CALEB IS THERE ANY REASON THAT YOU NEED TO BE SO FUCKING POSSESIVE ALL THE TIME?" UNRECOGNIZABLE. FINE. IF I WAS, HE WAS TOO.

"alright buddy, you know what?" CALEB CAME FORWARD, NEARLY PUSHING ME. "you need to know the truth, okay? porridge has chosen me. don't disrespect the king."

"I—I didn't—"

"CALEB IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE PORRIDGE HAS REALLY CHOSEN ANYBODY."

"That's not true," SHE SAID, THE BAGS UNDER HER EYES LOOKING HEAVIER THAN EVER BEFORE.

"WHAT—?" BUT SUDDENLY CALEB TOOK THE BOTTLE, THE BOTTLE, OUT FROM HIS COAT AND FLUNG IT UP AND IN THE AIR. "sever your fucking ties."

"FUCK, CALEB, NO!"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" SHOUTED PORRIDGE.

"CALEB WHAT THE—"

"Here—" SAID PORRIDGE AND SUDDENLY HER FEET SKIDDED DOWN THE ROOF AS SHE PUSHED HERSELF FORWARD TO REACH OUT AND JUST BARELY SNATCH THE BOTTLE BEFORE IT COULD SHATTER ONTO THE GROUND—BUT, AT THE SAME TIME, PORRIDGE'S RIGHT SHOE LOST FOOTING AND SHE SUDDENLY FOUND HER LEGS DANGLING FROM THE GUTTER; SHE GASPED.

"PORRIDGE!!" "porridge!!"

"Fuck," SHE MANAGED, AND SHE WAS HANGING ON BY THAT ONE GLOVED HAND, THE OTHER HAND SWINGING AND STILL CLUTCHING AT THE INIMITABLE BOTTLE.

"OH GODDAMMIT CALEB." THE DROP WAS ENOUGH THAT YEAH SHE WOULDN'T FUCKING DIE BUT SHE WOULND'T NOT GET BADLY FUCKING DAMAGED EITHER. "PORRIDGE HERE" AND I HELD MY ARMS OUT.

"alright stop you're gonna fuck it up" AND CALEB PUSHED ME OUT OF THE WAY AND HELD HIS ARMS OUT. "alright porridge drop the bottle!"

"Wait, if I can just—"

"DROP IT!" I SHOUTED.

SHE DROPPED IT, AND CALEB CAUGHT THE BOTTLE THEN SET IT ONTO THE GROUND, BEFORE HE SAID "okay porridge", SPREADING HIS ARMS AGAIN BUT SHAKING WILDLY. "fuck" HE MUTTERED, SUDDENLY USURPING HIS CATCH-POSE TO RUN A SHAKING HAND OVER HIS HAIRLINE, HIS BACK HUNCHED OVER. "t-too much coke."

"CALEB YOU NEED HELP" I TOLD HIM.

"f-fuck you!" HE SCREAMED, REELING BACK.

"Uh, guys—" PORRIDGE WAS STARTING TO SLIP.

"CALEB YOU HAVE TO GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF, ALRIGHT? PORRIDGE IS GONNA FALL—"

"i'm fine! and i'll catch her" SAID CALEB. HE HELD HIS ARMS OUT.

"CALEB JUST LET ME FUCKING HELP—"

"you're not going to help."

"Guys," SAID PORRIDGE, "I-I'm, ohhh fuck—"

"CALEB—"

"seth—"

"IF YOU WOULD'VE JUST LOOKED AT THE BOTTLE THEN MAYBE YOU WOULD'VE—"

"enough about the fucking bottle!!" CALEB HOWLED. "it's just a bottle, dude, okay?! curses aren't real, the fucking ‘eenie gang’ isn’t real, none of that's shit's real, alright? you're living in a delusion and you have been since you were little, seth, and maybe it's me and mom's fault, fine, but—"

"I-I'm gonna fall—"

"CALEB—"

"and porridge is going to be with me, not you, not anyone, not some strange man coming into our home and into our mom's bedroom and who doesn't even pay respect to the grave for my dog—"

"CALEB SHE'S—"

"and—”

AND SHE FELL.

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CLUNK.

IT WAS THE SOUND OF HER FALLING AS SHE GASPED AND WAS CAUGHT TIGHTLY IN THE GRASP OF CALEB'S ARMS. AS WELL AS MY ARMS. THEY WERE BOTH AROUND HER WAIST. I'M NOT TOTALLY SURE EITHER OF US COULD'VE PROPERLY DONE IT ALONE. AND I NEARLY SHRIEKED, BECAUSE FOR AN AWFUL SECOND I THOUGHT SHE HAD LOST HER LEFT HAND BECAUSE I SAW THAT THE COIN-TIPPED GLOVE WAS STILL HANGING ONTO THE ROOF'S EDGE. BUT SUDDENLY I FELT CALEB SHIFT. AND I FELT HIM SUDDENLY DROP HIS ARMS AND LOOK AT SOMETHING, SOMETHING IN FRONT OF HIM. HIS BREATHING SLOWED. HIS AVIATORS POINTED AT PORRIDGE'S LEFT HAND, WHICH SHE WAS HOLDING UP TO HER FACE AND RUBBING GINGERLY. HER HEAD WAS DOWN, STARING AT THE BOTTLE'S TEXT, AND I SAW THAT THERE WAS SOME KIND OF METAL CIRCLE AROUND ONE OF HER FINGERS? YOU KNOW, THE FINGER BETWEEN THE MIDDLE AND THE PINKIE, I FORGET WHAT THAT ONE'S CALLED EXACTLY—BUT THAT THE METAL CIRCLE AROUND THAT FINGER HAD LIKE A JEWEL IN IT. HUH.

WE STOOD THERE FOR AWHILE. WHAT WAS THIS? WHAT EXACTLY WAS THE BIG DEAL ABOUT A METAL CIRCLE AND A JEWEL? I, I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE, EXCEPT ON MOM YEARS AGO AND UPON ASKING HER ABOUT IT, SHE SAID IT DOESN'T REALLY MEAN ANYTHING ANYMORE. AND WHY WAS CALEB POINTING AT THE FINGER PLUS STARTING TO CRY?

"Um... " BOTH CALEB AND ME LOOKED UP AT HER WHEN WE REALIZED PORRIDGE WAS SPEAKING. "I thought... " HER VOICE DIDN'T SOUND NORMAL. "I thought that if I kept it on, it would somehow be... " SHE SIGHED AND ROLLED HER HEAD ALONG HER SHOULDERS, AND I SAW THAT HER EYES WERE REFLECTING LIGHT MORE POTENTLY THAN NORMAL. WHAT? "I don't know... more—honest—" AND SHE WAS CUT OFF BY HER BREATH SUCKING INWARD AND HER BACK ARCHING—I LET GO OF HER MIDRIFF. WHAT WAS GOING ON?

"someone you met in japan?" SAID CALEB.

PORRIDGE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING, BUT NODDED. WHAT?

CALEB HAD BEEN STANDING THERE FOR SOME TIME NOW. HE HAD WIPED THE MOISTURE OFF OF HIS FACE, AND FINALLY SOME ALARM ON HIS CELL PHONE WENT OFF, AND HE LOOKED AT IT. "happy fourteenth. twenty-three hours till our flight leaves." HE WAS REALLY QUIET, AND KIND OF MONOTONE. AND CALEB PUT AWAY THE PHONE, STILL LETTING HIS ALARM RING. FINALLY HE LOOKED AT PORRIDGE BEHIND HIS AVIATORS AND SAID: "go."

"C—Caleb—" SAID PORRIDGE—

"go" HE SAID LOUDER THIS TIME, STARTING TO WALK TOWARD HER.

"Caleb Caleb, I'm—"

"will you just fucking go!!" HE SHRIEKED, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I CAME THERE BETWEEN CALEB AND HER, HOLDING HIM BACK AND MY ARM SHIELDING PORRIDGE'S SHAKING FRAME WHILE THE INNOCENT LITTLE ALARM CONTINUED TO GO OFF AND OFF.

RING-RING-RINGGGG!

PORRIDGE SOBBED. "Will you—will you, um, read the bottle that Seth wrote on—?"

"YOU READ IT?" I TURNED TO HER.

RINGGGG!

SHE NODDED.

"go!" CALEB YELLED, AND SUDDENLY PORRIDGE TURNED AND RAN, DISAPPEARING INTO THE DARK. I STARED.

RING-RING-RINGGGGG!

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IN THE NIGHT AIR THE ALARM CONTINUED RINGING, AND CALEB FINALLY TOOK THE PHONE OUT OF HIS POCKET AND SWITCHED IT OFF.

I WAS STILL SO CONFUSED. SO WHY DID CALEB FREAK OUT ABOUT A FINGER-DECORATION? IS THAT HE WISHES HE COULD HAVE HIS OWN FINGER-BEJEWLMENT? AND HONESTLY I'M STARTING TO REGRET WHAT I SUGGESTED VIA WRITING ON THE BOTTLE—I'M REGRETTING IT BECAUSE OF THIS BIZARRE FUCKING BEHAVIOR TOWARDS PORRIDGE AND SOME OF THE THINGS HE'S SAID HAVE JUST SET ME TO THE LIMIT. CURSES HAVE TO BE REAL. HOW ELSE CAN YOU EXPLAIN—

"seth." I LOOKED OVER. CALEB HAD PICKED UP THE BOTTLE AND WAS READING IT NOW. HIS GLASSES HAD COME OFF, AND HE WAS STARING. HE READ THE MESSAGE I'D WRITTEN, WITH I lift the curse REFLECTING BEHIND IT, BACKWARDS, AND HE SAW THAT ON THE OTHER SIDE IT SAID

CALEB,

I HAVE A SUGGESTED NAME FOR YOUR SILLY LITTLE BUSINESS. CALL YOUR COMPANY "KNIGHT BROTHERS INCORPORATED".

I'LL EVEN ASSIST YOU IN THE ADMINISTRATION ONCE I GRADUATE COLLEGE, OF COURSE. I KNOW YOU'LL WANT ME, AND MY UNCEASING CANDOR.

SINCERELY,

-SETH YOUR BROTHER.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I SAID. CALEB HAD MADE ME ANGRY AGAIN AND AGAIN. IT WAS TIME FOR IT TO END. I DON'T KNOW WHY I WROTE WHAT I DID.

CALEB LOOKED LIKE HE WAS UNDERGOING SOMETHING THAT HE'D BEEN STRUGGLING WITH FOR A LONG TIME. FINALLY, EYE STILL ON THAT BOTTLE, FINGER RUBBING MY SUGGESTED NAME FOR THE COMPANY, HE SAID "not after college."

"WHAT?"

"not after college" HE SAID AGAIN, LOUDER THIS TIME. HE LOOKED UP. "now. come with me for the flight tomorrow night. i'll have an extra seat now, you can take time off from school and help me."

I STOOD BACK. "CALEB NO." I WAS STARING IN THE DIRECTION WHERE PORRIDGE HAD RUN OFF TO. "CALEB, WHY EXACTLY DID PORRIDGE RUN AWAY? WHAT IN THE PRUMP IS REALLY GOING ON—?"

"seth." CALEB STEPPED TOWARD ME, GRABBING ME BY THE SHOULDERS. "dude." HE WAS LOOKING AT ME, LOOKING SOMEHOW DESPARATE. "none of that matters now. just trust me. i love your idea of you helping me run my business, and flying off with me, i-i think i actually need y—"

"CALEB!" AND I SHOOK HIM OFF ME, EVEN AS HIS EYES WENT HUGE AND WORN. "NO! NO, OKAY? I, I, I NEED TO STAY HERE, I HAVE OBLIGATIONS, ALRIGHT? PORRIDGE MIGHT STILL BE HERE, AND-AND MOM—WELL, MOM P-P-PROBABLY WANTS ME TO STAY HERE, TO STAY IN SCHOOL AND—"

"seth mom doesn't care about y—" HE STOPPED.

I STARED. MY TEETH WERE CLENCHED. "WHAT?"

"mom doesn't care about us." CALEB SWUNG THE BOTTLE IN HIS HAND. "not, anymore really. she has a man to take care of her now."

"I—I—I NEVER THOUGHT MOM WAS MY GREATEST FAN, BUT I KNOW I'LL PROVE MYSELF TO HER, JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE, I KNOW I'LL—"

"seth, this is your curse. this is why—"

"NO!!!" I SCREAMED, AND I PUSHED CALEB AND RAN. I RAN AND RAN AND I RAN UNTIL COMING TO THE ICE-COVERED HILL, AND I SAT DOWN THERE, IN THE SNOW. THE WIND WENT BY GENTLY, AND I COULD HEAR A COYOTE HOWLING IN THE DISTANCE, BEFORE EVENTUALLY, I LAID BACK, LETTING THE ICE NUMB MY ARMS AND LEGS AND FEET. I STARED UP AT THE MOON, WONDERING WHEN IT WOULD BE FULL AGAIN. AND—

BUT THEN MY PHONE RINGS.

I PICK IT UP, BRUSHING OFF THE ICE-COVERED CRYSTALS. CALL FROM HOME. HM. I ANSWER IT.

"CALEB JUST LISTEN, I CAN'T—"

I STOP, HEARING THE VOICE ON THE OTHER END OF THE LINE. MY CHIN DROPS.

"MOM?"

I SIT UP.

THE VOICE JUST KEEPS ON SPEAKING.

"Y-YES" I SAY EVENTUALLY, "OKAY SO YES I UNDERSTAND, CALEB TOLD YOU TO CALL ME, AND YES I REMEMBER YOU SENDING ME TO THE BACKYARD ALL THOSE YEARS AGO—BUT W-WHATEVER, IT DOESN'T MATTER! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT WAS HAPPENING WITH YOU AND CALEB WHILE—"

THE VOICE CUTS ME OFF, TELLING ME SOMETHING ELSE.

I PAUSE. "OH. YOU TWO WOULD DO A GAME WHERE—YOU'D—WHAT? I NEVER SAW YOU DO THAT."

THE VOICE TELLS ME ANOTHER THING.

"OH. WELL I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WE OWNED ONE OF THOSE. I WOULD ALWAYS JUST GET SOAKED ON THE RAINY DAYS."

THE VOICE SAYS SOMETHING ELSE.

"OH. WELL, EVEN IF YOU WERE, WHATEVER, PRANCING AROUND WITH AN UMBRELLA WHILE INDOORS OR WHATEVER YOU SAID YOU WERE DOING TO ENTERTAIN SIX-YEAR-OLD CALEB, I-I STILL DON'T CARE THAT I WAS JUST EXCLUDED—"

THE VOICE CUTS ME OFF AGAIN, THIS TIME SAYING SOMETHING LOUDER AND WITH MORE FORCE THAN EVEN BEFORE. I WAIT TILL IT FINISHES.

"OH." AND I SIT THERE, HAND GETTING NUMBER AND NUMBER IN FROST. FINALLY I SAY "I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD SUPPORT ME DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT, MOM. GOING ALL THE WAY TO ANTARCTICA—"

THE VOICE SAYS ANOTHER THING. MY HEAD FALLS BACK AS MY SCALP TOUCHES SNOW AGAIN.

"YOU REALLY THINK CALEB DEPENDS ON ME THAT MUCH? THAT I'VE BENEFITTED HIM AND-AND THAT I ACTUALLY MATTER, AND THAT I AM A GOOD PERSON AND I'LL FIND LOVE SOMEDAY AND I'VE BEEN THE BEST OLDER BROTHER CALEB COULD EVER HAVE AND-AND-AND ALL THESE THINGS YOU'VE JUST TOLD ME BUT THAT YOU'VE NEVER, EVER SAID BEFORE NOW—"

THE VOICE QUIETLY SAYS SOMETHING THAT IT HASN'T TOLD ME SINCE THE DAY CALEB WAS BORN.

I SIT IN THE SNOW AND WIND. THE WHITE NOISE ON THE END OF THE LINE HUMS BRILLIANTLY, AND AFTER A WHILE I OPEN MY MOUTH NEAR THE PHONE AND SAY "LOVE YOU TOO" BEFORE I HANG UP. PERFECT STRIKE.

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WHEN I ARRIVE AT THE HOUSE TEN MINUTES LATER, I SEE CALEB, SITTING IN A CHAIR AT THE FRONT ROOM. THE BOTTLE IS ON A TABLE BESIDE HIM, WHERE CAN I SEE UNDER MY PROPOSITION HE'S WRITTEN sure.

"CALEB."

HE LOOKS UP AT ME.

I TELL HIM THAT I'VE CHANGED MY MIND. I'LL GO WITH HIM TO ANTARCTICA. TOMORROW NIGHT.

CALEB LOOKS SURPRISED, AND HE SMILES. AND THEN, HE WALKS UP AND HUGS ME. I STIFFEN, NOT REALLY KNOWING WHAT EXACTLY TO DO AT FIRST, BUT THEN I JUST PUT MY ARMS AROUND HIM, AND WE BREAK.

"okay, dude" SAYS CALEB QUICKLY. HIS VOICE SOUNDS REALLY TIRED. "get packing."

"ALRIGHT."

AND I WAS IN MY ROOM SUDDENLY PACKING MY THINGS, ROLLING UP CLOTHES AND TOSSING IN ORANGE PEELS AND COFFEE CHUNKS, AND I THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING I SAW, SOMETHING STICKING SLIGHTLY OUT OF CALEB'S FRONT POCKET.

"you almost ready dude?" HE CALLS AS I START TO ZIP UP MY SUITCASE. 

"A MOMENT SIR" I CALL DOWN.

I PREPARE TO WALK DOWN THE STAIRCASE, THINKING ABOUT HOW IN HIS FRONT POCKET I SAW A BOX, WITH THE WORDS—

"alright" SAYS CALEB, STOPPING MY THOUGHT-TRAIN. HE STANDS IN FRONT OF THE DOOR AND LOOKS AT OUR HOUSE FOR A FINAL TIME. "off we go dude."

"OFF WE GO."

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BEFORE WE LEFT, THERE WAS ONE OTHER STOP.

AT THE ICE-COVERED HILL, NEAR THE MOUND, YOU'LL SEE SOMETHING, STUCK IN THE SNOW AND UPSIDE-DOWN. IF IT RESEMBLES A TOTALLY EMPTY CIDER BOTTLE, WITH WORDS IN DIFFERENT HANDWRITINGS WRITTEN ALL OVER, YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT GRAVE.