#i would recommended it to anyone thinking about it :)

[pixiecaps]

i recommend watching connors video its really well done i think he went into the topic in a wonderful manner. he goes into the timeline of everything, explaining vtubers, mouseys primary immune deficiency, and all that context that i think people tend to gloss over.

connor even goes into showing examples of the hate mousey has gotten on platforms like tiktok. which sorta illustrate the overall picture of what mousey has had to consistently deal with. i think one of the moments for me when i realized how bad the hate had gotten was during the subathon where everyday people would come into mouseys chat to say something hateful. everyday. to the point where mousey would have to address these comments and specifically told her community, hey i know seeing hate sparks the reaction of wanting to comment back but dont. and if you truly feel the need to then simply reply donate plasma. saying this while facing some of the most malicious hate ive ever seen. still she would rather try to spread some positivity and awareness by saying to donate plasma rather than trying to shit on other creators communities which is a level of maturity i fucking admire. and i think in this period of the internet we dont see all too often. in the video connor actually shows examples of these chat messages from a 85 PAGE LONG DOCUMENT. fucking bizarre. and yet i still remember during that subathon era seeing people say she wasn’t getting hated on at all and that her fans were exaggerating.

what i really appreciate is connor even making this video on this cause as someone who watches ironmouse consistently and watched the entire subathon and all their streams together this is a topic that mousey is very vocal on with her chat and she talks a lot about this to connor. and he’s always been very sympathetic and there to defend her so it’s cool to see him constantly have her back and vtubers as a whole since hes so intertwined with these communities despite them not being his community per say. connor bluntly stating in the video, “yes you got me. this is a video about me defending my friend 100%. i’m not even trying to hide that. but i also just want to bring a tiny bit of attention to the level of normalized hate that is for some reason acceptable.” is awesome. and a video like this hopefully can inform others and make people realize that the level of hate thats accepted on the internet nowadays is wild. and i need this to be clear mousey has spoken about this hate train she’s been enduring a numerous amount of times and it doesnt get seen as much. but she has spoken about it and what she sees and gets told privately on a daily basis. from her own words the hate just gets more intense as time goes by. and it sucks that shes such a kind creator who has to deal with it just cause shes.. a vtuber.

in short. never send hate to anyone. be kind. watch more vtubers theyre fucking talented and great content creators. fuck what anyone else says about them.

[pastafossa]

So I am FINALLY going through the process of getting my adhd diagnosis, had my first big evaluation and everything. I still have a few more tests to do but hilariously, what I did not expect as I started my Finally Getting My Neurospicey Designation Officially was this at the end of my first period of evaluation:

T (therapist): ok, so far, there are no signs of bipolar, depression, or OCD.

Me: Got it.

T: At this moment, what I am seeing is equal evidence of ADHD–

Me: YES, I KNEW IT.

T: –and you potentially being on the spectrum.

Me: ...Say what

T: Do you have anyone in your family on the spectrum?

Me having a realization as I suddenly think of my dad, both sisters, and my maternal uncle:

T: I'm guessing this wasn't a possibility you'd considered until now.

Me: ...I'll admit it would explain a lot??? Maybe??? I think???

T: Let me get you some book recommendations, you can take notes on what resonates and then we'll talk about it.

Me: YES PLEASE?

[benevolenterrancy]

Hi I have caught up to you on having feelings about Zhuzhi-Lang. He's a good boy! 🥺 Good snake boy! 🥺 I had the thought, after Zhuzhi let SQQ leave after SQQ yelled at him... what if they Stole Him. What if.

(Also have you read/been recommended anything by corduroyserpent yet? Big writer of Zhuzhi-Lang fics, including a very cute de-aged Zhuzhi-Lang and some zhushen)

Justifications of bride-stealing!

(AND HE'S THE BEST BOY 😭 I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, SO MUCH!! have some further au thoughts because this has contaminated my brain...)

What I think would actually happen if they stole SQQ? Absolutely nothing good for anyone, LBH would Lose His Fucking Mind xD as a more interesting answer though, I like the idea that Shen "Pedantic Nitpicky Asshole" Qingqiu's primary point of argument is that he is not a bride so he cannot be "bridenapped" regardless of demonic tradition or intention!

This eventually leads to them all completely avoiding the Maigu Ridge incident because TLJ realizes that, somehow, SQQ doesn't realize the depths of his son's feelings for him and decides to put all his efforts into being a wingman for his nephew instead because he finds the entire thing absolutely hilarious and rather satisfying after his own sad romance. Obviously someone like SQQ would do much better with his good, loyal nephew than the disappointing offspring of that disastrous relationship!

As for ZZL he just has to assume that LBH must not be treating SQQ anywhere near the way he should be (and like... he isn't wrong at this point, there is a non-zero amount of torture and terror going on here) if SQQ doesn't see himself as being tied to LBH in any way. And if he's not attached to LBH then there's absolutely no reason he shouldn't make his own efforts to seduce SQQ! After all, if LBH isn't valuing SQQ properly then obviously ZZL has to step up because someone as kind as SQQ deserves the best!!!

[crepezinhos]

Has anyone ever noticed how most (if not all) soundtrack played when you’re in Tatarasuna resembles Scaramouche? I don’t even think it was intentional, but I need to rant about it down below:

This all started when I was some Nobushi at Inazuma and the game tracked some of them at Tatarasuna, and there I went with my Scaramouche on-field (named Kuni btw), and then out of nowhere this melody started playing:

And if you don’t have Spotify:

It wasn’t the first time I heard this playing in my game, but now that I was finally using my Scara, I genuinely started to feel horrible, no matter if my o jective was site acting me from it or not.

This song really sounds to me what would be the soundtrack playing when Scaramouche was still Kabukimono, wandering around Inazuma after his heartbreaks, trying to find a new home, or destiny while feeling empty and grief for his losses.

And specifically, when the beat ‘drops’ (because there’s no real anticipation in this music), it really sounds like the angry stage of grief, but still sounding soft and sweet just like Kabukimono was. The only moment of anger we saw coming from Kabukimono in the game was when that orphan kid died, and he was angry at that death, the world, his mother, the Archons, and himself. That’s why he immediately broke down in tears afterwards, he was in grief once again, just like this songs sounds like to my ears. But, since it does still sounds more error and negative rather than comforting to me, I interpret this music as Kabukimono deciding to transition from Inazuma to Snezhnaya and from Kabukimono to Kunikuzushi/Scaramouche.

That’s why I felt so horrible while playing with Wanderer there. All that grief and commotion in Tatarasuna, caused because of his existence, is now just a memory in the back of his mind. No one remembers it. No one remembers the beautiful, innocent puppet boy who roamed in search of a home and his own mother and attracted the eyes of the Fatui to that cursed land. Not even Ei remembers all the pain she unintentionally led Scaramouche to suffer, which hurts the most to me. She’ll walk through those toxic lands without any notion of the suffer her own son went through in there because of her neglect of him. And even if I have hopes that they’ll meet each other again, I don’t believe it would be a fair conversation (aka, Hoyoverse forgiving Ei’s actions and considerably-bad-writing in a blink just for the sake of her popularity in the fandom). And honestly, just imagining Wanderer walking my through the lands of Inazuma again, after so many years and traumas, makes me sick to the stomach, specifically one where he’d be in search of his mother again like Kabukimono used to do too.

Not that I think Scaramouche shouldn’t forgive Ei, but knowing how Hoyoverse glazes her, I’m pretty sure that he’d be just be like ‘Yeah, whatever’ and Ei still wouldn’t make any efforts to compensate him due to that approval.

But, going back to the point, I really do wonder if, by the time they were creating this and the other soundtracks for Tatarasuna, they had Scaramouche’s character in mind. I personally don’t believe that was their intention, but some people appear to believe on it. When I was reading the comments of the video, in search of anyone who felt the same way about that soundtrack and Scaramouche, I found this:

Another comment also pointed out that the ‘beat drop’ was a less intensified version of Scaramouche’s boss theme too (specifically in the Dominatus part). Do I personally see it? No, but both themes still sound a little similar to me in the end.

Anyway, I think this is end of my little rant about Scaramouche’s character and the sound representation of him. Hope this was somehow enjoyable to read about.

If you’re still unsure whether you understand me, I’d recommend do the same as me. Go to Tatarasuna (specifically in the forge), play the song and walk (no sprint) with Wanderer around it. Maybe that’ll make you understand, because there’s no way I’m the only who genuinely feels this emotional with Scaramouche’s lore.

Istg this man had a cultural and emotional impact on me…

[1mlei]

Demon Twin Au Thoughts

I've been thinking a lot about Demon Twin AUs lately.

I've read nearly all of the ones on ao3 (Please do send recs my way <3), and I adore the different interpretations of this concept. I will always love the version of this where Danny and Damian are reunited after Danny ends up in Gotham, or Damian in Amity.

I love this classic take on the AU, but I've been thinking about fun ways to spice it up. My favorite idea so far is the idea that the twins reunite after Damian temporarily dies.

Imagine Danny just minding his business in the Zone and he randomly sees his twin, who is supposed to be alive. Damian would be happy to be reunited, he's been under the assumption that Danny was dead since they were kids so he's just glad to see his twin again. Meanwhile Danny is freaking out because he literally faked his death and ran away so Damian could live, what the fuck is this?

You could add a touch of Sam and Tucker being confused on the side. I always imagine that Danny never told them about where he came from or his brother. (What can I say? I love the drama that secrets bring.) You could either have Damian look like his civilian self as a ghost, and have Sam and Tucker be confused af about this random ghost that looks just like Danny. They might think it's a weird duplicate or something, but then why is Danny so freaked out? You could also have Damian be in his Robin costume, I imagine Sam and Tucker would be shocked to randomly see the ghost of Robin in the Zone, but it's far from the weirdest thing they've seen in there. Again, Danny has never been a huge fan of other heroes or vigilantes, so why is he so freaked out about this one being dead? Of course, though Danny has stayed away from Gotham for various reasons he is aware that his twin brother has become Robin after moving in with their father, so he knows that this new ghost can only be one person.

Now moving away from the idea of the twins just randomly running into each other :)

You could try turning it into a twin telepathy type thing, where Danny senses Damian dying, or at least that something happens to him and goes to investigate.

Or, something that I feel is quite in character for Damian, he might hunt down Danny himself the moment he realizes where he is.

You could turn this in different directions again depending on whether Damian is in civilian clothes or his Robin costume. Either way, I imagine him questioning some other random ghost (maybe one of Danny's rouges for fun?) and regardless of how he's dressed they'll point him towards Danny.

"Oh you're looking for your brother? Idk man, go ask Phantom or something."

OR

"Your brother? You look fucking identical to Phantom so you might wanna start there."

Either way Damian tracks down Phantom and concludes that yes, that is his brother. Dramatic reunion ensues.

Last little thought I had on this, Damian doesn't think Danny is a ghost, he assumes he moved on, or maybe he somehow knows he faked his death and thinks he's alive? Regardless, Damian is a man on a mission the moment he arrives in the Zone, he refuses to stay in this pathetic realm and decides that whether he's dead or alive he will make his way back to Earth. Best way to get there? Damian goes to talk to the king of course, to negotiate (or fight if necessary) about going back to Earth. If not that, he just happens to hear about a certain half-human, half-ghost hybrid and tracks him down for help. A hybrid sounds like someone who would know how to go back and forth between the realms after all.

---

All this to say, I want more of the Demon Twins reuniting in the Ghost Zone. If anyone has recommendations or ends up writing a story of this please do send a link my way, it would be most appreciated <3

+ Bonus points will be added if there is a scene where Damian is resurrected and Danny decided to tag along. Cue confused batfam freaking out because oh god there's two of them now how did that happen.

[tin-wufborf]

Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics (Part 20)

Hello lovelies, and welcome back to Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics! It's been a while, and for that, I'm sorry. I've been (and still am) going through a bit of a depressive episode. November's typically a tough month for me for a couple of reasons, but it hit harder than usual this year. Still, I wanted to come back and bring you another installment of Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics, just in case anyone needs a little Sterek to get them by like I have.

Side note: I'm actually thinking of doing a some, like, "feature" posts where I rec a single fic at a time, regardless of whether or not I've already rec'd it through this series, and actually explain what I like about the fics. Give a little endorsement, if you will. As much as I love all of the fics I have recommended throughout this series, I definitely have some go-to staple fics that I re-read with far more frequency than others. I can think of at least 3 off of the top of my head right this second...

Idk. Would any of you be interested in that? I might do it no matter what, just to have something to engage my brain a bit, but I have also been nearly catatonic with brain fog and just a general exhaustion of life, so. We'll see.

Okay, enough of my yappin'!

As ever and always, thank you all so much for all of the love and support you've shown this series. It genuinely warms my heart when I get a notification for this series, and I appreciate you all so much. I hope you've all found some new favorites and/or got to dig back into an old favorite or two along the way. There won't be too many more parts, but I'm going to try to stretch this bitch out to 25 parts because it's a tasty number to my brain.

I hope you're all having a good day, if not a great one! Smoochies and squeezies, lovelies!

List and links to previous parts below the cut.

************************************************************************

DISCLAIMER: This is me warning you all that some of the fics I've included in this list may cover explicit, dark, and/or "taboo" subject matters. I cannot express enough how little I care what anyone thinks about any of that; all I want is for you to use caution when reading anything I've listed here and to please review and heed whatever tags the authors have provided in order to keep yourselves safe. Your experience from this point on is your own responsibility, not mine and not the authors'.

************************************************************************

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20

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The Horror of Our Love by Melpomene (Aconitehart) (E | 1/1 | 4,941)

"I'm not wearing a muzzle," Derek snaps.

"Look, if you wear this then we're golden! There's no way you can bite through this, Deaton said so."

"Oh well, if Deaton says," Derek says snidely. It's a silly argument. Sure, Deaton is shady and enjoys bending the truth on occasion, but unless it's a complex assassination plan he wouldn't lie about this. Something that Stiles knows that Derek is aware of.

"There's really no reason for him to lie," Stiles points out. "What's your real problem with it?"

"It's demeaning," Derek says through gritted teeth.

"What? No! Lots of werewolves have to wear one of these," Stiles says, waving the muzzle around. The leather and clasps jingle.

Derek sneers at him. "Wolves who can't control themselves."

"Pot and kettle, buddy. Wait, wait," Stiles says hurriedly when Derek turns to leave, "let's just... let's try it, okay? Come on, have I steered us wrong before?"

-

In which Derek can't control himself while having sex with Stiles and needs to be muzzled.

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Burial Rituals by aurevell (G | 1/1 | 4,989)

The necromancer freezes halfway over the fence, stuttering to a halt the second Derek flashes his red eyes. It’s an awkward pose to hold: leg hiked up over the waist-high bars, hands gripping the rail for balance. The fence’s wrought-iron spears dig into his calf a bit as he settles, clearly caught off guard.

“Uh,” he says lamely, his face pale in the scant moonlight. “Shit.”

Derek guards an abandoned cemetery. Stiles is the necromancer trying to break in.

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Devoured by Hedwig221b (E | 1/1 | 5,298)

Breathless, Stiles shifted his gaze up and went red from the knowing smirk on the deific face. The man’s red eyes sparkled in the moonlight, glowing like two fires on the tips of the candles. One of his thick eyebrows was lifted in amusement.

He was the most beautiful being Stiles had ever seen. As was probably expected, considering he was the god of sexual desire.

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Satisfaction Brought It Back by Snare (E | 1/1 | 7,223)

Derek doesn't know how nobody else seems to notice the large, ever-present bulge in Stiles' jeans. He can't help but be curious about it, he just - he just wants.

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Lay Me Out by Melpomene (Aconitehart) (E | 2/2 | 8,967)

"This is weird," Stiles tells him. His hands are still on Derek's chest. "Is this weird? Are you even sentient enough to think things are weird?"

Derek's tail wags back and forth, brushing against his calves and stirring up the fallen leaves. And the licking? It doesn't stop. Derek keeps at it, licking Stiles' cheeks, his forehead, that sensitive spot behind his ears. Stiles tries to twist away, much braver now that he hasn't been mauled, but there's no escape.

"Okay," Stiles croaks out. He pushes at Derek's shoulders, his chest. "Let me up, big guy, come on."

When Derek doesn't move, Stiles arches up, trying to wriggle free, but then he feels something wet and sticky against his stomach where his shirt has ridden up. He cranes his neck down and sees Derek's dick. It's distinctly non-human; red, with a tapered tip. Clear fluid drips from it.

"Oh holy god," he says, horrified and fascinated. "Is that - oh fuck."

-

In which Derek has sex with Stiles while in the Alpha form

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to be with those I like by sheafrotherdon (E | 1/1 | 9,323)

It's Deaton who tells Derek that Stiles is back in town, a broken marriage behind him, his daughter in tow.

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How We Got Here by Areiton (E | 1/1 | 9,718)

Maybe if you fight the creatures of the night together like they did, if you bury enough friends and strangers and enemies, you don’t lose touch.

He thinks that’s why he and Derek are friends--because Derek understands his nightmares, understands the nights when he can’t talk, and the nights he can’t stand the dark.

OR: Against all odds and expectations, Stiles and Derek have become respectable adults ( WHY?) and friends.

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Lunches, Knitting and Definitely Not Dating by attackofthezee (noxlunate), noxlunate (T | 1/1 | 10,107)

“So, I uh, managed to get myself pregnant.”

“You what?!”

“Got myself pregnant. Y’know, up the duff, knocked up, a bun in the oven, in a family way, eating for two, with child. I could go on Dad, really, stop me before I exhaust the list of pregnancy euphemisms. There’s still caught an 18 year STD, my eggo is preggo, building a person-“

“Stiles.”

“Hosting a parasite, harboring a fugitive-“

(Just a weird mpreg fic with Derek and Stiles totally kinda dating without realizing it, and Stiles figuring out this whole having a baby thing.)

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(they say) this should feel something like fire by dallisons (E | 1/1 | 11,163)

Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. Drip.

"Turn it off." The pack looked up, stunned into silence by the first words they'd heard from him in weeks.

Stiles stood, trembling - his knees weak. He tried to run and collapsed, his bad leg failing him once again. Derek caught him. "Turn it off," he said, his voice unmistakably a growl.

The water continued leaking from the loose faucet, and all Stiles heard was Erica's blood against the concrete. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. Drip.

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Whatever Our Souls Are Made Of by Lissadiane (NR | 1/1 | 14,953)

It's a cold, snowy night and Stiles is halfway through his shift at the campus coffee shop when a tall, dark and handsome stranger walks in, one who seems unaware that he's being haunted by a wolf.

In which Stiles Stilinski sees the ghosts of animals with unfinished business, and Derek Hale is unaware that his dearly departed sister left a few things unfinished.

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Untouchable by Hedwig221b (E | 1/1 | 17,128)

The day Stiles Stilinski entered the Berkeley campus was the day all the alphas went absolutely fucking nuts.

See, omegas were rare, even more than redheads. Got to be extremely fucking lucky to even see one in a lifetime. They were supposed to be these ethereal creatures of beauty and elegance, irresistible and blinding.

And Stiles Stilinski was exactly that.

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Camaro '68 by ZainClaw (E | 1/1 | 17,707)

Derek huffs, arching one eyebrow. "I'm not a fugitive." "You look like a fugitive," Stiles insists, practically beaming. "Maybe you should start wearing cardigans."

In which Stiles is a hitchhiker and Derek a runaway whose paths cross at a gas station in the California desert.

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Cross a Canyon (with a broken limb) by theroguesgambit (T | 1/1 | 18,010)

“You never graduated,” Stiles says, just to say it. To test it out in the open air. That's... huh.

--

Stiles spends his senior year battling troll-gremlins, taking on an unexpected tutoring job, and definitely not falling for a certain sourwolf (even though everyone else seems to think he is).

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Do You Wanna Date My Avatar? by Renmackree (T | 9/9 | 18,399)

Scott frowned, grabbing the game case and reading it out loud.

“Become the Hero you've always wanted to be. Battle monsters, witches, dragons, and all the mythical beasts of the World of Fantasy. Play as a Human, Elf, Dwarf and other special races included in the basic game. Stiles this so stupid. Who the hell would want to play as a Werewolf?” Scott threw the game back on the bed and leaned back in the chair.

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We Only Get Better by Ninna_7 (T | 8/8 | 22,741)

Stiles doesn't call him these days. Not since he left Beacon Hills that last time. Not since Stiles left the FBI internship programme in favour of studying Forensic Psychology at NYU. Stiles has texted him a few times in the past, but he never called. Not anymore. Back then, however, whenever Derek received a call from Stiles or called Stiles in return, it was purely for survival's sake. So Derek doesn't know what to expect from this call. If he's being honest, he's scared of it.

x

Or: It's been years since Stiles and Derek last spoke, but a phone call from the human reconnects them. They have the chemistry, the history and the shared trauma. With time and each other, maybe they can have more.

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part-time soulmate, full-time problem by Renmackree (E | 1/1 | 27,111)

Stiles had seen it all in his five years of supernatural shenanigans, but never in his life would he have guessed returning to Derek's old stomping grounds in New York, especially under the guise of Derek's magical Mate.

It was going to be an exciting summer.

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The Light in the Woods series by DiscontentedWinter (5 works | G-M | 36,507)

1. The Lights in the Woods (T | 8/8 | 12,293) To honour a treaty with the people of a strange land, Derek Hale, prince of the kingdom of Triskelion, has to marry Stiles. 2. The Gift of the Trees (T | 1/1 | 4,780) Stiles is everything that Derek ever wanted... almost. 3. Moonflower (G | 1/1 | 3,331) Stiles and Derek's son finds his magic. 4. The Path of the Wolf (G | 1/1 | 5,206) Faolán has to find his own path. 5. The Heart of the Wolf (M | 4/4 | 10,897) Etienne Argent is rescued by a strange young man in the woods.

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In Any Version of Reality by alisvolatpropiis (E | 7/7 | 39,853)

Standing next to not-Derek – whoa, holding not-Derek’s hand? – is someone who looks remarkably like Stiles. Is Stiles, a slightly-altered replica, just like this guy both is and isn't Derek.

It’s not like looking into a mirror – one, because looking into a mirror actually makes some kind of sense, and two, because not-Stiles looks older too, mid twenties maybe. And the tips of his short, spiky hair are dark purple, and he’s got a lip ring and he’s shirtless and covered in tattoos and what the holy hell?

“Time travel?" He's sufficiently freaked. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he hears his dad laughing.

“Not exactly,” not-Derek says, and shit, even his voice sounds exactly the same, disconcertingly gentle. He gestures behind him, and Stiles looks over his shoulder, where behind him, scattered across the porch and in the front yard, are more…Dereks and more Stileses.

Fourteen total, including the two at the door, he notes distantly, eyes feeling like they’re about to pop out of his head from bulging so hard.

Seven other Dereks. Seven other Stileses.

Seven Derek and Stiles pairs.

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The Moon Gave Me Permission by Melpomene (Aconitehart) (E | 9/9 | 57,572)

“I probably shouldn’t tell you this,” Scott says, eyeing Stiles’ fries. “But Derek Hale is back in town. I saw him at the gas station the other day.”

This piques Stiles’ interest. Oh yes it does. Like any good true crime aficionado, Stiles has his favourite case. His pet cold case. His hometown murder. The thing he brings up when he’s tired of small talk and just wants to get real.

The Hale Family Fire and the suicide of Katherine Argent.

Stiles knows this case inside and out. He’s racked up thousands of karma points on reddit for his thoughtful analysis, his pictures of the crime scene, and of his reporting of local gossip. Beacon Hills is a small town, small enough that Stiles is the only one on the Unresolved Mysteries subreddit to have actually seen the burnt out shell in person.

He’ll tell anyone who listens what he finds fascinating about the case. Absolutely no shame. He’s read all of the articles, he’s pestered his father’s deputies for more information, and he’s read every cold case compilation book that so much as mentions it.

No one knows this case like Stiles does.

-

In which Derek Hale is a man with a dark past, and Stiles is completely obsessed with him.

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The Soul Knows What the Heart Wants by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) (M | 9/9 | 163,779)

“Holy—shit,” Stiles breathed, Bacon stopping in what he was doing, still staring at him intently, as if begging him to understand, for someone to finally understand. Stiles felt like he’d been electrocuted and he leapt out of his chair, kneeling in front of Bacon and grabbing at his furry face. “Holy shit! Oh my God, are you��wait, holy—you’re not fucking with me, right?!”

Bacon let out two quick barks, which Stiles chose to interpret as ‘no.’

“Oh my God, are you a real person in there?!” Stiles shouted in the wolf’s face, staring him right in the eye. He was still holding the wolf’s head with both hands, but Bacon dipped his muzzle in confirmation and Stiles officially lost his mind.

“Oh my God!” he shouted again, releasing Bacon to clutch at his own hair. “Oh my God! Dude, for real?! You’re—holy shit! Holy shit!” He didn’t know how to react to this news. He had no fucking idea how to react. This was a person?! But how?! How was this a person?! People didn’t just turn into wolves!

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[midnight-mourning]

Better Strangers. (Unless?)

Well it took a bit more time than I expected, wonder why THAT is (side eyes the wizard that put a curse on me, currently tied up in the corner) but it's here now, so I hope you enjoy! She's long, and I had to cut some stuff because it wasn't working, but such is life

If you've never read Confused Spirit, this will make a lot less since to you lol, so I recommend reading it first (though it's not a requirement). Again, this bad boy is canon to the story, but will never be directly mentioned in it

Word count: 7500

Song rec: Tommy's Party - Peach Pit (ignore the lyrics, it's the vibes that matter here)

Also posted on Ao3 if you prefer reading that way.

Content warning: Mentions of self-depreciation, self-gaslighting, depression, bits of yelling, etc. Small bits of using alcohol as a coping mechanism. Additionally, if you've never experienced what it's like to be anxious-drunk, you're in for it. Reader discretion is advised

☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙

"Okay, money's on the counter, Lisa needs to do her math homework before cartoons, and if you could do some flashcard practice with Gabe that would be super great but no worries if not, okay bye!" You say in a rush before opening and closing the front door. 

You lean back against it briefly, take a deep breath, and force yourself to march over to your car. 

It's your least favorite day of the quarter, second only to your least favorite day of the semester.

Parent-Teacher Conferences.

Comparable to Report-Review day at work, or tax season. The reason it was your second least favorite was because the other Parent-Teacher Conference day usually landed on a Friday, meaning you had one more night of the week you had to go out. 

This one was just a bit more bearable in that yeah, you had work afterward, but at least you could use all of tomorrow evening to recharge. And you certainly intended to. 

The school parking lot is filled with parents coming and going, chatting with those they know. You briefly greet anyone who says hello, but keep on your way, you want this to be quick, you've only got an hour or so before your late shift.

The meeting goes about how you'd expect, Lisa's the perfect little angel at school, it's just with you that she's a complete and utter menace. You'd considered the evening to likely being end on a high note based on this, but you'd be wrong. 

Very wrong. 

It's as you're walking out that you run into what would be your catalyst. 

"Oh, funny seeing you here, dear!" Helen says as she approaches. 

Inside you're saying every swear you can think of, outwardly you smile, "Hi Helen. It's parent-teacher night, of course I'd be here."

"I know, I know, merely joking." 

You stand there, awkward, head nodding once, "Well if that's all then I'll be on my way then-"

"Well it's just, how do I put this," She tutters, shaking her head, "I can't imagine what your meeting must've been like. And I won't speculate of course, I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you, is all."

Your brows furrow briefly, but you try to remain neutral. Chill, you're chill. You can kick Helen's ass in a fight if you wanted, it's fine. 

"The meeting went well, actually. Lisa's a good kid, I only stopped by because Mrs. Isley's been wanting brag on her in person."

This doesn't deter Helen, which you'd been, actually you can never tell what to expect with her. Doesn't matter, she keeps that sad look on her face, hand coming to rest on your shoulder, "Well, I wasn't sure if she was aware of the tumultuous situation with your family is all. It sounds like something that would greatly be affecting Lisa's performance. But I'm so glad to hear that's not the case."

"What, what do you mean?"

"Well, I ran into your aunt, Hannah's her name, right?" Helen tsks, "She told me all about your situation. Just awful to listen to, you know."

It occurs to you to glance over to where Helen came from, her typical group of parents she gossiped with. They're looking at you now, that same, bullshit look on their face. And you can just catch some of the things they say. 

"To think someone like that's taking care of Lisa."

"I know, could you imagine, being so cruel to your family?"

"Typical twenty something, has no regard for anyone but themself."

"It is selfish, isn't it? Their parents would be ashamed."

You freeze then, something in you shutting down. You don't know what to say, how to react, how to even, think, for a moment. 

This is possibly one of the worst case scenarios you could ever imagine. Helen knows an exceeding amount of information about you that you've done your best to hide for the sake of your siblings. Stuff that would otherwise be harmless, where you work, where Lisa goes to school, what daycare you use, etc. But could be incredibly dangerous when the wrong person find out about it. And at this point, you have no idea one way or the other if they have. 

Has Rick's family tried shit in the past? Of course. Have they ever taken it that far? Debatable. You'd done your best to keep your personal life unknown to them for a reason however. But did you really know what their limits were? You had absolutely no clue.

And that terrifies you.

And it's your fault in the first place.

"Are you alright?" Helen asks, in a tone that is so fake you swear you can taste plastic. 

You snap out of it. Not here, not now. Instead, you beam, "Of course! Why wouldn't I be?"

This throws her for a loop finally, "I, well I-"

"I appreciate all the concern, Helen, really, I do. But we're doing just fine," Your hand pats the one of your shoulder and she flinches back. Ironic, you know. 

You laugh, it's loud and fake as hell but it does what you need it to, "I don't know what you've been told, but let me assure you, there's a reason we're not on great terms. Didn't file that police report for nothing!"

At this, people start to turn towards you both, muttering quietly. Usually, such a thing would embarrass you. But you're channeling your rage to smother your panic. Your shame.

Hannah and the rest of Rick's family lives on the complete other side of the city. Helen would have had to go out of her way to manage to run into any one of them. And it sounds like she had. 

If you had to guess, it was probably incidental, you have no social media, they all do. All it would take is a bit of profile browsing to find the connection and if she ever came across any of them, could easily strike up a conversation. Still crazy, but slightly less crazy than other options.

"Is everything okay over here?" Looking to your side you see Mrs. Isley, glare on her face, pointed toward Helen, before sharing a concerned look briefly with you. 

You nod, "We're just fine, but I do have to get going now. Thanks for the, words of encouragement, Helen."

Her face has grown red, and can't even muster a response. Satisfied, you lean in as you pass her by, voice low, but still loud enough for the teacher behind you to overhear, "Hope you got what you wanted from that. Because next time, I won't be so nice and just say outright how the PTA president goes out of her way to find someone's toxic family members and delve into their personal life for no damn good reason."

You give her a rough pat on the back, and march out of there. Behind you, you can hear Mrs. Isley start to lay into the soccer mom who had so much free time on her hands to try and upset the 23 year old who, apparently, must be doing a better job at parenting than she was, as that what the only explanation you could come up with for her vendetta against you.

Once you make it out of the building is when you allow the facade to start to break down. You're panicked, you're freaking out. You're trying to determine if you're going to have to switch school districts now or what. You really don't want to uproot Lisa because of a mistake you made, which was believing that Helen Chase would mind her own damn business and-

Someone is calling after you. You look up from unlocking your car to see it's Mrs. Isley. 

You raise a hand as she makes it over to you, out of breath, "It's fine, Aubrey. Just the typical bs. I'm okay."

"I'm sure you are," She says, pointing back to the school and shaking her head, "But that, was unacceptable behavior on her part and I am not going to let it fly by, rest assured. She's the head of the PTA, she's well aware of the school's 'no-contact list'."

"I-"

She raises her hand now, "No. Not this time. I get it, you don't want to make waves. But this was too far, and it's not fair to you in any which way to just leave it lie. She will be reprimanded, and if anything happens because of it," She shakes her head, "Well, I'm not going to let it."

"Thanks," You manage to choke out. The stress and relief both getting to you in that moment, due in large part to her firmness on the matter. 

The teacher hugs you then, squeezing tight, "We have rules in place for this kind of stuff. And I'm sure once her husband hears wind of this he'll do his best to make sure nothing comes of it," She pulls back, hands on your cheeks, "Okay?"

You nod, hoping she can't see the tears pricking your eyes, "Okay."

Aubrey lets you go, "You're sure you're fine?"

"Yeah," You shake your head, "Just the words of someone who doesn't know how to mind their own business. I've had worse."

She nods, "Alright. Have a good night, and be safe."

You say goodbye and she walks off. You have to grip your wrist with your free hand to keep the one that's shaking steady enough to grab the door handle. 

You drive in silence to the Plex, both hands tight on the wheel. 

You're not going to let it get to you, you're not going to let it get to you, you know she's wrong, she's always wrong, she's just an asshole and you know that you're doing your best, you're doing great! Lisa's proof of that, Gabe's proof of that. You're fighting and you're trying, you're trying, you're trying-

The doors to the Daycare shut behind you, interrupting your thoughts. 

Adjusting your bag on your shoulder, you look around for your beanbag, finding it absent. 

"What are you doing here?"

You turn, finding Sun cleaning up art supplies across the room. 

You shake your head, "Not in the mood for this tonight, Sun. If you didn't want me around you could've just said so."

His rays flick back and forth, "What are you talking about?"

"Uh, my beanbag?" You nod to the empty spot, not ignoring the confusion he also displays, "Not the end of the world, really, but still."

He just stares over at you. 

Then, "Bright Eyes, it's Friday."

Shit. It is Friday. You'd lost two days. Too caught up in work and stress and so on, to the point you'd hired Clara for the night and hadn't even realized. Not that it was her fault, she had no reason to question your foolishness. Your fault. Your mistake. Your fuck up. 

Like always.

"I, right, yeah."

"Now, as much as I'd be thrilled to continue to entertain you, I have a preparations to be making," He walks over and starts to guide you, not gently, towards the door, "You understand I'm sure."

You shrug him off, embarrassed, not helping your already growing negative feelings and thoughts, "Yeah, I got it. Night."

You walk out, a bit aimless now. You're frustrated, you're upset, and you really, really, are feeling a bit shitty. There's tears pricking your eyes again, and honestly, you don't know what you need right now to fix it.

"Boss? What are you doing here?"

You turn, "Pete? It's eight o' clock on a Friday, why aren't you home?"

He puts both hands on his chest, "I'm here for my best buddy Jacob's birthday. See the hat," He points to his head, where indeed, he's wearing a party hat, "Did you want to join?"

"I, you know what? Yeah. I would."

"Great! Come on," He slings an arm around your shoulder, changing your direction to the West Arcade, "Some of the gang's upstairs. Savannah was busy, and Jesse's out of town, like a loser, but you'll know most everyone I think."

"You're not going to question me anymore?" You ask. 

He shrugs, "Well no, not my business what you get up to. Unless you want it to be?"

You shake your head instantly, you didn't need to embarrass yourself by telling your coworker you let a middle-aged woman's words make you cry.

He nods, looking forward again, "Besides, you looked like you needed a distraction. For a bit anyway."

"Thanks, Petey," You sigh, "I do."

The atmosphere inside the West Arcade hits you instantly as you walk inside. 

People are chatting, dancing, drinking and making fools of themselves, what you'd typically expect from a Plex party. Or really, any party with a bunch of burnt out twenty-somethings. 

You meet up with Liv and Tyler, and are given a party hat and a drink shortly thereafter. 

You stare down at it for a moment, briefly, and check the time, you have Clara until 11:30, you can have one and sober up in time. 

You say the same thing after the second, and after the third argue that you can just, pick up your car tomorrow, grab an Uber. 

After, drink four, you take the time to sober up for just a moment, which ends up being a mistake. Because now you're alone with your thoughts, and after the night you've had, that's the worst place for you to be. 

The words said to you by a bunch of women in their 40s should not upset you like this, they're the ones choosing to pick on someone half their age. Sure, maybe they weren't wrong but that didn't, that didn't give them the right to talk like that, right? 

You weren't just thinking about yourself, right?

They wouldn't be disappointed in you for not trying to make ammends.

Right?

Fuck, you really should sober up, sober up and go home. 

"Hey, you alright?"

Liv's sitting next to you now. You give a practiced smile, "Just need a little more water. I'll be fine."

"You're sure?" She waves over the bartender to get you another water and order another drink for herself.

You nod, "Positive. If I wasn't I wouldn't be here."

Lying through your teeth is somehow so much easier when you're drunk. 

You drink another water, and don't feel any better. You just feel more, aware. Aware of how you don't fit in, how you're here because Pete took pity on you, how awful of a friend, a sibling, a daughter, a partner- No, not that last one, we're not getting into that mess tonight. 

Has it really been that long since the last time you drank this much? You check the time, it's been an hour or two. You still had time. Fuck it, have another drink and try to have some fun. Something's gotta distract you from this feeling eventually, right? 

When you check the clock again and realize it's 10:40, and it'll take at least twenty for an Uber to get here, you fumble for your phone and call Clara.

"Hey, I'm uh, gonna be home a bit later, is that okay?" You ask against the loudness of the room. You should have went outside instead of going to the quietest corner you could find, but you're kind of losing your logic. 

You have to strain to hear her response, "Yeah, not an issue, I'm mid breath of the wild playthrough so time has no meaning to me."

"You've got breath of the wild? Jealous," Focus, you need to focus so you don't sound stupid, "Anyway, I'm guessing another hour or so, and if it gets too late you can stay over so you're not driving home so late."

"As long as you don't mind me gaming in the living room into the late hours of the night that's cool with me. What are you up to out of curiosity?"

You swallow, "Birthday party."

"Oh, Jacob's yeah? Savannah told me about it but since I was busy I couldn't swing by."

"Oh?" Why does that make you feel bad? Why do you feel so excluded now? That your coworker's sister got an invite and you didn't? Or did you get an invite and you forgot? Why do you care? You're not friends with Jacob. You’re not friends with these people out of work, really. Right?

"-speaking class."

You don't know what she just said, "Gotcha, gotcha. Well, I'll see you later tonight then."

"You got a ride?" You can just make out her button-mashing, followed by a sigh, "Sorry, if you've been drinking I mean."

"Yeah, I'll be good. Thanks."

After hanging up, you just stare down at your drink, then out to the dancefloor. You see everyone having such a great time, so why can't you? Why do you have to be like this? Why can't you just let yourself be happy? What does it take to make you relax and just, chill the hell out? 

You haven't relaxed in months you realize. Not after what happened that night. Ironically, at the last Plex party you attended. If anything, you think being here, doing this, has just made everything that much worse. 

You need to get out of here. You need to go somewhere else, do something else, be someone else. 

Too bad you can't make that last one happen.

You finish your drink, and after a small head rush, walk over to where your friends? coworkers? are and say your goodbyes over the music. 

"Hey, it was really good seeing you tonight!" Pete says, then nods to where Jacob's at on the dancefloor, "Jacob appreciated it for sure."

He's lying. He's just being nice because you're his boss. 

Liv gives you a quick hug, "We should hang out outside of work more often. Maybe somewhere a bit more quiet."

She doesn't mean that. She's pitying you. 

"Yeah, that'd be great!" You smile. 

Tyler raises his fist and you bump it, "See you Monday, broski. Stay safe out there."

"Can do, have a good night guys."

"See you!" And "Be safe!" are shouted out behind you.

You believe the genuity of that. You may know that they hate you, but they're nice people. 

Your feet walk you in the direction you don't want to be heading. Split between this impulse decision and just going home. But you can't make yourself go home, you can't go home, home just remind you of everything, and everything you're not-

The Daycare doors feel heavier than usual, which makes sense considering how much you've had tonight. Inside, you find it's, pretty much the same as usual, you don't know what all the fuss was over on Sun's part. 

Speaking of, where is he? 

You shuffle in, taking note of the small plastic tea cups and saucers sitting on a table that's been moved to the center of the space. Along with... snacks? Right, Chica's supposed to be here. Seems she hasn't shown up just yet.

You're trying to remind yourself why you came here as opposed to calling for a ride, when you hear the doors open again. 

"Oh. You're back."

You turn, Sun is holding a tray with a teapot, and there is indeed, steam coming out of it. Now you know. 

"Did you want something or are you just here to bother me?" He swiftly walks past you, setting the pot and tray down with pointed showmanship.

Something about his tone sets you off. Not unusual. But because you're not sober, you speak your mind in a way you otherwise wouldn’t. Unfortunately unusual. 

"You know, starting to wonder that myself."

"Really now?" He speaks with a bored enthusiasm that grates on you.

"Yeah, really. You know, I don't sleep at night because of you," You shake your head, "My dreams are just, filled, with nothing but that night. Over and over again, it plays in my head. And you see, the worst part is that it's not even the idea of seeing him in that stupid machine. You know what keeps me up? You. And what you did to me," You take a deep breath, looking back to him, "And what I did to you." 

Sun's rays tick a few times. 

Then, "You're intoxicated."

"Yeah, no shit, glad you finally got up to speed."

"I'm just rather surprised you'd be interested in taking such risks again considering what happened to you last time."

You scoff, "Don't even try to pull that, I wasn't wasted, I had a concussion."

"I was referring to being at the Plex so late alone, Starshine," His gaze narrows, "But rest assured, you're increasing my concern the more you speak."

"Concern for what? Because we both know it isn't for me. And that's fine, shouldn't expect, don't deserve it. Even if I-" You stop yourself, you're not out of it enough for that, "I'll just give it to you straight; you have no reason to be concerned. For my siblings? They don't need me, Clara sees more of them than I do and she does a hell of a lot better job. My work? Someone else would fill the gap when I'm gone, my team's more than competent without me. My friends? They've got each other, or, or partners. And our little investigation? You," You slow down for a moment, "Well, I'm sure with that charming personality of yours you could trick another sorry sucker into helping you with ease."

You throw up your hands, laughing, "So, no need for concern here, Sunny. If something happens to me no one will notice!" Your face feels wet, "No one's going to fucking care. So, you can take your concern and shove it."

You bring a hand up to your face, confirming that you are crying, "Fuck, exactly what I needed to top off the night."

You sniff once, and then turn around, you seemed to get everything you'd wanted to say out of your system, maybe you can go home and be happy now. Or something. 

"Why did you come here tonight?"

You pause, then laugh quietly, hand coming up to run through your hair, "Hell if I know."

A hand is set on your shoulder, one that makes you spin around. The motion slightly jogs you.

Sun's gaze is down at you, rays spinning once or twice but otherwise motionless. 

"Stop that. I don't like being analyzed," You mutter, averting your eyes. 

His other hand comes up to guide your focus back to him, "You're in no condition to go anywhere. Not right now."

You manage a half-hearted chuckle, "Give me some credit, Sun. I'm calling an uber as soon as I'm out of here."

You think if he could frown he would, instead, his eyes narrow and grip tightens just a tad, "Not wise. Not if you're alone. I suppose there's other options. Hold still. And don't look down."

"What are you-hey hey hey, what are you doing?" You argue, anger flaring momentarily as he takes hold of you, your feet coming out from under you as he lifts you into his arms. 

Before you know it, you're up in the air, having to squeeze your eyes shut so you don't get dizzy from the change. You feel Sun land on solid ground again several seconds later.

"You say a word about anything and I'm putting you in the theater instead," A brief pause, "Or on a naptime mat down below."

You open your eye, "Wha-Oh."

"I mean it. Not. A. Word."

You put your hands up, "Okay, okay."

He didn't say anything about making private observations to yourself. 

The Attendant's room is somehow exactly what you expected and not at all. Your first thought is organized. Your second thought is empty. 

Clean also comes to mind, there's not a speck of dust in sight. You take note of the different standout features. An old, Hollywood style dresser with matching mirror and lights, string lights hang from the ceiling among the rafters. There's a set of cubbies containing spare toys, and some seemingly ongoing craft projects. 

You spy your bean bag in a corner with a few others. There's also a large pile of blankets and stuffed animals, almost like a bed. Lying nearby you see a charging port. 

The most interesting thing to you, however, is the green tube in the left wall, leading obviously to somewhere, you just don't know where exactly. 

You don't get to find out, Sun sets you down on the blanket pile, and if you weren't so hypervigilant you'd sink right in, exhaustion is starting to hit you after the combination of drinking, yelling, and crying. 

You hear a click and realize he's left the room. It's the perfect opportunity to snoop, but the desire for rest outweighs this urge. Besides, it's rude. And you're not that rude.

You feel like all you did was blink and he's back again. You rub your face and pat it a few times to try and wake up, glancing over to the bot.

"I've already taken the liberties of informing your babysitter that you will be home after several hours of sleep. And agreed upon compensation." Sun answers your look of concerned confusion by raising his hand with your phone, "You dropped it when I picked you up, she had asked about your well-being. You can check to confirm I did nothing else if that eases you."

The fact you can't recall that happening proves it's probably for the best he did that.

"God she's going to hate me," You groan, rubbing your face with both hands. 

Sun sets your phone down beside you, and sits down in front of you, glass of water in one hand, "She does not. Drink."

You eye the glass with suspicion.

"Are you seriously debating whether I've tampered with it?"

"Should I not?"

A scoff, "It's a glass of water, I've done nothing to it."

"Sound like something someone who did something to it would say," You muse.

Another scoff, and he leans down, rays clicking, "If I was going to do something, Bright Eyes, it would have already been done. And need I remind you, I can't cause harm even if I wanted to."

"Fine," You huff, taking the cup and muttering as you sip, "I'm surprised they let you have glass."

No answer. You look over, eyebrows raised. 

Then it clicks, "Ah. Contraband. Noted," You finish the glass and wipe your mouth, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

No words for a bit, your head hurts, but this helps. That might be a good thing to bring up, you're not a fan of this kind of silence.

"Why did you help me? Or I guess, why are you actively, helping me?"

Sun shrugs, hands clasped in his lap. You expected a snarked out comment that you're strangely not receiving.

Then, "I'll get you another glass. You should rest in the meantime." He stands up, and in your current state the action panics you. 

"Wait," You reach out, grabbing his arm, "Don't go. I'm, I don't want to be alone. Please." God, you sound pathetic.

You also realize what it is you're doing, and to whom, and you let go, "I, shit, sorry. Just, yeah just go get the water. I'll be fine."

You pull your knees up to your chest, controlling your breathing. You didn't need to start crying again. You're fine, you know you'll be fine.

A soft jingling sound interrupts your thoughts, and looking up you see Sun unwrapping one of the ribbons from his forearm, then his wrist. Once he's finished, the ribbon and bells piled in one hand, he holds it out to you. 

You furrow your brow, but take the offering. 

"It's the best way I can think of to assure you I'll be back. I'd look rather silly if I went around like this, right?" He waves both hands up by his face. 

You sniff, "Yeah."

"And if you're truly, concerned, just ring, and I'll be here," He stands straight again, taking the glass, "I'll just be a moment."

"Ok."

He leaves the room, and you're alone.

Having nothing better to do, you lean back against the numerous pillows and stuffed animals behind you, hands clasping and resting on your chest. 

You take note that the ceiling has a few glow in the dark stickers you recognize from the Daycare proper. Someone must've snatched the extras when they had the chance. The thought makes you laugh softly. 

It also occurs to you then that Moon is additionally assisting in this, mess, you've created, given that the theater is probably dark, and you don't believe that door leads anywhere else. 

You close your eyes, shame welling up in you. This is pathetic on your part. Truly and utterly. You're an adult, and you can't take care of yourself after a night of drinking? You can't manage to drink responsibly, avoid the typical stereotype and make a fool out of yourself saying shit you shouldn't? God, you're so-

You're being gently jostled awake, "You can't sleep like that, friend. You'll regret it." More quietly, "And he won't shut up about it, for that matter."

You open your eyes, they feel a tad heavy from the short nap you got. Your senses perk up however, when you smell something greasy yet heavenly. Pizza, currently in Sun's hand, soon to be in your stomach if you have anything to do with it.

"Thought you were just getting water," You say, as if you're not two seconds away from devouring that pizza whole. 

He scoffs lightly, setting the pizza in front of you and handing you the water, "I had a feeling if I told you what I was doing it would only make things worse."

"You'd be right," You take a brief drink of water, then open the pizza box and grab a slice. It's divine. And you don't say that lightly when it came to Fazbear pizza. 

You groan mid-bite, leaning back against the plushes behind you, "God, I wish you could taste how good this is right now. Like," You take another bite, "So frickin' good."

You're too focused on eating to overhear Sun laughing quietly at your antics. You managed to scoff down three slices before he takes it away from you. 

He places it over on the dresser, "You'll get sick. And preferably, I'd rather not be cleaning up vomit at 1 am, if it's all the same to you."

"Just one more! Come on," You whine, then pause, eyebrows shooting up, "Oh I am not sober, that's for sure."

You realize Sun's staring at you, and your face heats up.

"Don't look at me like that, it just makes it worse," Your hands come up and cover your face.

At that Sun laughs. And maybe you're a bit out of it, but it doesn't sound mocking, or pretentious. It's genuine. 

You feel a compulsion to right your wrongs from earlier, or at the very least, try to.

"I'm, I'm sorry for what I said. You didn't deserve that."

"I don't accept." Sun states. 

You cringe, and nod, "Fair."

He chuckles, "I don't accept, because it wasn't directed at me. You may have said those words at me, but I think we both know their true target."

You think for a moment, nodding solemnly, "Helen."

"Who? I-" He shakes his head, "Starlight, I meant yourself."

"Oh. That makes a bit more sense." You decide to give him a bit more context to save some trouble, "She runs the PTA. My third worst enemy, behind you, and Grab Ass. You got a Katie Chase in that little directory of yours?"

"Yes? But-oh. That one." 

Your brows raise for a moment, "Wow, I've never heard you speak with that much disdain before."

"We all have limits, friend," His tone shifts, like he's about to boil over with rage, "We all have limits..."

You yawn, and his attention shifts. He motions for you to take off your shoes and the likes, and you get the hint. You lay back into the bed-you're pretty sure there's a mattress buried under here somewhere, feels like it-letting loose another yawn.

Sun takes one of the blankets and tosses out over you, it falls slowly down on top of you. Then, he bends down and presses his smile to your forehead, pulling back after a moment and patting your head.

"What was that for?"

His rays spin, eyes widening a fraction. Seems he's just now realizing what he did, "An unfortunate matter of programming. One I'm hoping you'll forget by morning."

You scoff, smile on your lips, "That's not how being drunk works, you know. Only if you've drank a lot."

That seems to relax him.

"So explain it to me then," He sits at the end of the blanket pile, "I'm curious."

You sit up slightly to make eye contact with him, "Really? All the stuff you could learn about and that's what piques your interest?"

He nods.

You stare at him a moment, then lay back down, "I mean, alright. Do my best here."

You explain. Sun asks you a question every now and then. You just, talk. You talk to each other for, awhile it feels like. You talk until your throat starts to get sore. You, you haven't spoken with someone like this in a long time. Long enough you can't remember when the last time you did was. 

You start to get tired and Sun notices immediately. He mutters a brief goodnight to you, and the lights are shut off soon thereafter.

You roll over to your side to watch Moon appear. 

"Thank you. Both of you," You say, as he walks back over to you, "You didn't have to do all this, it's, appreciated."

He nods, "You are welcome."

A sudden realization hits you as sleep begins to take over. 

"My stuff..." You mutter, "I, left my stuff back in the West Arcade, if it's not stolen already."

Moon stands, "I'll retrieve it for you. Will you be alright?"

You sleepily raise your hand, bells jingling in your grasp, "Got these. And I'm a bit more sober now. I'll be okay."

Moon nods, "Then I'll return shortly."

"I might be asleep by then," You yawn, "So I'll preemptively say thank you, and goodnight."

"Goodnight, Diana. Sweet Dreams."

You huff lightly, "What, no goodnight kiss?"

It takes you all of 0.5 seconds to realize what you just said.

"Oh goddammit-"

Moon leans down, and presses a kiss to your forehead, his tone cheeky as he pulls away again, "Is that satisfactory, your highness?"

Your face is hot with embarrassment but you refuse to lose. 

"'Twas," You turn over and away so he can't see your wide-eyed 'holy shit' stare, "But I'll have you know that I'm not that demanding when I drink. This was a one-time thing. Won't happen again."

"Of course not."

You snuggle further under the blanket, mumbling, "It won't. I mean it. It was a stupid mistake. One that's going to haunt me for a while."

Quiet. You feel him sit down beside you, "Everyone makes mistakes, Icarus. It's how we learn from them that matters."

"Trust me, I know."

A hand on your shoulder presses down and makes you lay back on your back. You stare up into red eyes, narrowed with concern down at you. The gaze makes you uncomfortable. You try to brush it off.

"I don't need a pity party, Moon. I gave myself enough of one earlier."

He tilts his head, "It's funny how you always assume care to be pity. I wonder why that is?"

You're about to say it, and play it off as a joke, but he beats you to the punch. 

"Well, it's not fair to speculate. So I'll just tell you, you don't have to suspicious of such with me. Or either of us for that matter," His focus goes back on you, "We mean what we say."

You raise a brow questioningly.

"For the most part, I should say."

You chuckle, "Yeah, I know."

"Your friends mean what they say too, you know. They care about you. As does your family. It's obvious to anyone that sees it. You just simply need to allow yourself to." He pokes your forehead. 

You sigh, looking up to the ceiling briefly, "Oh, that's a lot harder than it sounds, Moon-man."

"I never suggested otherwise. I merely intended to remind you."

"I've been reminded," You smile slightly, "And I'll do my best to continue to do so."

"You'll have assistance." You can't tell if that's a tease, a threat, or a promise. You'll just be on the safe side and assume all three. 

You smirk, "Goodnight, Moon. For real this time."

"Goodnight, Andromeda. For real." He rises from the bed, giving a quick two-finger salute.

You snicker, shake your head, and close your eyes. 

A few moments later you hear the jingle of bells fade out into the Daycare itself.

Your hand clutches the bells and ribbon in your hand a tad tighter, and you feel yourself start to drift off into sleep.

You find yourself awake some time, you're guessing, much later. Your head isn't nearly as heavy, and you feel as if you slept for at least a decent amount of time. 

Groggily, you fumble for your phone, finding that it's been about three hours since you fell asleep. 

You become keenly aware of someone staring at you, and scanning the room find Moon staring down at you from the rafters. 

Normally, this would be an alarming sight at 4 in the morning, for you and your half-asleep mind, it arouses mild surprise. 

"Why are you awake?" He asks. 

You sit up, fumbling for the glass beside you, "I become very awake in the hours after drinking," You gulp down the glass, "For a very short period of time. I'll probably start feeling tired again in a few minutes."

You wipe your mouth and look up to the Attendant, "Why were you watching me?"

Moon shrugs, "Bored."

"Yeah right," You scoff, "Not with the amount of shit you get into on the regular. What's your real reason, sport?"

"Sport?" He asks.

You wave your hand, "It's a combination of sleepiness and leftover drunkenness, just ignore it and save me some embarrassment."

"Noted."

"You didn't answer the question. Don't think I didn't notice," Your arm moves jankily as you point your finger at him. 

His faceplate spins, "We simply wanted to ensure you were alright."

"We? That's a shocker. I'm surprised he isn't having a hissy fit about you making such an implication."

There's a bout of binary before Moon answers with a sigh, "He is now."

You giggle, "Sorry."

Quiet for a few moments.

"Your belongings are located beside you," Moon points to where your bag sits on the floor not too far from the bed, "They appeared to be in order, though I can't say for certain."

Your eyes widen for a moment before you nod your head slowly, "Oh yeah, forgot about that. Thanks."

Moon nods.

"Sorry if I um, ruined your evening plans."

The Naptime Attendant chuckles, "Plans? What is it that you think we get up to, Pandora?"

"You know what I mean, I know you don't just sit and stare at the wall for hours until open," You shrug, "You explore, fuck around with your mechanics, which I don't approve of still," You send him a scolding glare, then continue, "Sun has gossip night with Chica, seems to be a bit crafty as well."

Moon whistles, or plays the sound, at least, "Impressive."

"Yeah, yeah," You wave him off, yawning.

"Seems you've expended your remaining energy."

You settle back into bed, "Getting there."

"Anything I can do to help?" He asks, shifting position to hang upside down from the beam, feet hooked over the other side. 

You scoff lightly, "You, aiding those in desperate need of rest? I don't buy it."

"It's my specialty." He insists, and you both quietly laugh.

"Want me back to bed that bad, huh?" You ask, hands clasping on your chest while you stare up at him, thinking.

"Have any good bedtime stories?"

His faceplate spins, "More than you'd imagine."

"Pick one for me then, and I think that'll do the trick," You nod once, affirmingly.

"Very well."

He starts, voice smooth, soft. Really, perfect for storytelling if you're being honest. It helps your mind to settle again, and well before the end, you're asleep again.

Waking up the next morning, you find yourself face to, back? with a yellow animatronic. 

Sitting up, you see Sun is slouched beside the bed, facing away from you. Examining him more closely you see there's a charging cord plug into the back of his head. 

Curiously, you reach out to poke him. 

"I'd appreciate the ability to recharge in peace, friend."

You jump back, cursing under your breath. 

Then, you huff, "There's no way you could tell what I was going to do."

"No, but a bot can have his suspicions," He turns to look back at you, "And plenty of mine have been right about you."

"'Plenty of mine have been right about you.'" You mock quietly. 

"How are you feeling?"

You sigh, shrugging, "Fine. Maybe a little hungover. I'll live, if you were worried."

"I wasn't," He retorts as you snicker, "But good to know."

You nod to the charging cable, "Thought the two of you switching kept you from using that too often."

At this, Sun flusters. Taking a moment to articulate himself.

"Typically. However, Moon felt-" A bit of binary, before doubling down, "Moon felt it would be unfair to have the lights on in any manner of speaking while you slept. So they remained off throughout the night."

You muse on the words for a minute, nodding thoughtfully. Inside, part of you is overjoyed, and the other is a mixture of shocked and maybe touched? You're not going to think on it further. Point is, Sun gave up his hours-willingly or unwillingly-to give you the chance to sleep. 

"Well, it's appreciated," You reach up and flick his forehead, narrowly dodging around him to grab your phone as he shoos you away. 

He grumbles a response you don't catch. 

Checking the time, it's around 8 am. Looking at your messages, Sun told Clara you'd be home by 10. Yikes. Good to know how little faith he had in you. Well, best not waste it. 

You stretch, giving a final yawn, "This place have a breakfast special? Feel like I swear I've heard about it at least once."

"It does, but I'll inform you it's not one that's served in bed."

"Relax. I can take care of myself just fine now," You throw off the blanket and stand up, "I'll be back. Hold down the fort in the meantime, yeah?"

Sun sputters, a "What?" As you pat him briefly on the back and march out of the room, on the prowl for food to satisfy your hunger. 

Once you find it, you sneak your way back into the Daycare. The Plex is still pretty much abandoned at this point in the morning, but you don't want to have to explain yourself if you don't have to. 

Walking in, you plop down on the bed beside Sun and dig into your breakfast sandwich. Either you're much more hungover than you thought, or this is delicious. Potentially, both. 

"Sorry you missed out on your shit talking session," You say between bites, "As a fellow disgruntled employee I know how important those can be."

Sun scoffs.

You turn to look at him, "And thanks for taking care of me. It's appreciated."

This appears to surprise him, rays ticking to one side, "You're welcome."

"You're not the worst person I've ever met, you know," You take another bite, "Up there, but you have your good qualities."

"That means the world coming from you," He says, hand on his chest and voice syrupy sweet.

You nod, "I know."

He huffs, it turns into a laugh after a moment.

"You're not the worst person I've met, either," His gaze meets yours, "Not as much as you believe yourself to be."

You pause, surprised. Then, you swallow, coughing, "T-thanks."

He turns away again. You continue to eat. 

A thought crosses your mind. 

"You know, if you were really worried about the light, you could've just closed the curtains."

Sun freezes. Then, he sighs, heavily. Hand coming up to run down his face before falling into his lap. 

"Yes. I suppose that would have, been an option."

You burst out laughing, which only grows as the two attendants seem to argue back and forth with each other. 

As you bask in the moment, you find yourself thinking back. 

Yeah, you weren't perfect, but you cared. A lot. And you think that says a lot. Means a lot.

To someone, at least.

☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙

Well, you can probably see now why this bad boy was scrapped as a chapter. Believe me I had the full intentions of saving it, but I'll admit once I saw an out by using it as a one-shot I jumped on it lol 

I don't know if it's everything that I wanted, but I think I hit the main points I'd originally set out to. 

To those who wanted affection with the CS boys, you got it! Just maybe not how you were expecting :) Ah, who am I kidding, you knew it was going to come at the price of angst

Sorry that I went awol for a bit, the antibiotics DID knock me on my ass and it was, rough, to put it plainly and I'm still going to have to get a scan lmao

idk man, I just want to be better already, I gotta propose (MY THESIS, I MEAN MY THESIS, I AM SINGLE) in a few weeks I don't have time for this >_< (she says, as if this hasn't been a 3 month saga)

Gahhh, anyway, hope you enjoyed! Have no idea how I'll feel from one day so you may or may not see me but know I'll be writing in the meantime (and enjoying it i promise, it's my hobby afterall) thanks for reading!

Tag list (hope I did this right, if you did not want tagged simply let me know and I'll remove you!):

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8

@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @eternal-soup (IT WON'T LET ME @ YOU I'M SORRY)

@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse

If you want to be added to the tag list, or check out my other stuff, see this post here for more information, bye!

[sword-fern-rants]

why I think "pretend like its the first time" is one of if not the best arcane episode

personally I'm a sucker for "what could have been" so this is all my opinion, but episode 7 was amazing, heartwarming and above all SAD. (I am ashamed to admit I cried) but the point is this episode was beautifully done to show us what would happen if powder had never been jinx.

from the beginning of the series we could all tell powder was smart, like she could build these inventions, they might not always work, but it was obvious she would improve with time. then when we see jinx in the initial time skip, she's gotten so much better with all her inventions, in "pretend like its the first time" we see what would happen if jinx's power was used for good.

also it was really wholesome to see vander and silco as friends again, the undercity and piltover connected, milo and claggor well. and ekko reiuniting with benny (albeit for a short time) was one of the saddest moments in my opinion.

now with my opinions on jinx/powder and ekko. powder and ekko's relationship was always interesting to me. in the first 3 episodes they didn't interact a lot, but they were the same age where there wasn't a lot of kids, and in the "enemy" music video we got to see more of their friendship dynamic, (if you haven't seen it I highly recommend it) also, in an interview one of the writers I think was telling the interviewer about a deleted scene where young ekko tries to "save" jinx from silco, but jinx lashes out at him, so that plants the seeds of their rivalry in season one. but in "pretend like its the first time" ekko originally thought jinx/powder was bad and would always be bad, but we see him realize, that with everything that's happened to her its reasonable that powder would become jinx, and while he's in the alternate dimension he really savors the time he had with her.

now the jinx/powder x ekko ship was always cute in my opinion, and from what we saw in their fight scene on the bridge in season one, as ekko was about to kill her he hesitated, why? because he still saw the girl he had grown up with, and I think jinx saw something similar.

but anyways from his experiences in the alternate dimension ekko realizes that circumstances made jinx and that powder wasn't truly gone, which is why he stops her from trying to kill herself, AND SHE LISTENS. this is crazy to me because kind doesn't listen to anyone, if vi was there she wouldn't have listened and she would have died anyways, and the probably the same would happen with ANY OTHER CHARACTER. but EKKO managed to get past all that, and convince her to live, so in conclusion they truly were in love. and even if jinx isn't dead (see one of my previous posts) she probably wants to stay away from everyone, and if she isn't dead ekko is still alone. but it still gives me comfort to know in tat alternate reality, powder and ekko can still be happy.

he truly loved her

THE END

[read-marx-and-lenin]

This is a genuine question that I hope I can ask but you don't need to answer if you don't want to or can't! I've heard a lot of people, for example a relative of mine who visited a couple of times DDR, say that communist or socialist countries were poor and it could be seen in the architecture, the clothes, the food etc. While this is obviously too simple way of thinking, especially when you don't consider the way other capitalist countries have affected socialist countries and still do, I was wondering where the "raggedy and poor" looks that everyone always seem to bring up come from. Do capitalist countries look richer simply bc they take from other countries and socialist countries avoided doing that? I feel like people always bring up the poor looks of socialism when they want to dispute or discredit it. Sorry if I explained this poorly!

I would say the main reason that many socialist countries appear poor to Western eyes is simply because a lot of them did not adopt Western fashions. So to take West vs East Germany as an example, West Germany was economically and culturally dominated by the US, and so the more American one looked and acted, the more wealthy one seemed. This made East Germany look "old-fashioned" by comparison.

It is true that imperial core nations get much of their wealth through exploitation, but this also contributes to the apparent differences through the availability of certain products. One of the often-heard claims of Eastern poverty is the lack of availability of fruits such as bananas and oranges. But where do these fruits come from? The tropics, which are dominated by imperial powers. West Germany had access to imperialist markets and could get cheap oranges. East Germany didn't have the same access and so oranges were a luxury.

You see the same issues of economic isolation in North Korea vs South Korea today. South Korea occupies an extraordinarily privileged position with its relationship to the US, just as West Germany did, whereas North Korea is even more economically and culturally isolated today than East Germany ever was. Yes, the DPRK is a poor nation, but they look even more poor because of a lack of Western fashions and Western products which are signifiers of wealth to Western eyes.

However, it remains the case that socialist economies are better capable of improving the average wellbeing of their citizens than capitalist economies are. In the capitalist world today, more than two-thirds of workers earn less than the local purchasing power equivalent of USD$10 a day. That is to say, the money they earn each day would afford them less than what $10 could afford a person in the United States. This number has only gotten worse over recent decades. So regardless of what anyone might say about the poverty of socialist nations, at least socialist nations are improving the lives of their citizens. Capitalist nations have been stagnating as more and more wealth is siphoned off into the pockets of the imperialists.

Recommended reading:

[lurkingshan]

Every You Every Me

The Final Story (Part 2)

Time to finish this! [Edit from the future: I did not like this finale, so there's your warning!]

Ngl once the reveal was done and we were just in a bl about two annoying actors with a bad relationship this got less interesting. Still love the narrative device of this being about an actor pair across shows, though, that was clever. I just wish this actual story about Pun and Inn was better.

Part of my issue with this final plot is I still don't even know why Inn broke up with Pun in the first place. I don't really know what Inn's supposed to be apologizing for, other than this vague idea that he was self-absorbed. Meanwhile we actually did see Pun shut Inn out of his career decisions which directly affect him, so this one-sided apology feels weird.

I also don't love the connection they drew here between their personal and professional relationships, like they couldn't do their jobs if they weren't getting along. We know actors can act through a ton of BTS strife and still turn in good performances (EarthMix MLC divorce era, anyone?).

Like, why is Pun sobbing this hard after dumping Inn? Why dump him if he's still this attached?? Why ditch him for a new partner without ever discussing it? I don't really get Pun's deal here.

"Years later" well that's nice and vague, thanks chyron.

Why are the bad actor side pair here in this film? We saw them together and they were terrible, it was part of the plot!

Suddenly, a flashback? Inn is drunk so it's def time for a bl white towel sponge bath.

I am... so confused. When did this drunken heart to heart take place? Before or after the dramatic breakup? And why would they have to wait years to be together? But Pun assumed Inn didn't even remember??

Okay so if I have pieced this together right, they had this drunken convo the same night we saw them out with their friends, then wrapped the show, then had a dramatic breakup despite having already had this conversation and Pun knowing that, but Inn didn't remember/thought it was a dream, and they just didn't speak for years until Inn showed up with the flowers. This is so convoluted and I am just baffled over here.

Anyway, I guess they're gonna get married now even though they have a really bad and non communicative relationship. Sure!

Quite a choice to skip any physical intimacy scenes for the "real" couple after all that. I don't think I like it.

What a mess of a final episode. It's so strange that they went to the trouble of coming up with this interesting and creative narrative and executed it pretty well only to falter on coming up with a basic romance arc to finish the story well. I'm disappointed this didn't end stronger so I could recommend it to people. Ah well, at least Mick and Top are a good pair; their chemistry did a lot of the heavy lifting. And it was fun watching the shows within the show and puzzling out what was going on. I'm glad they tried something different even if they didn't land it in the end.

[satellite-evans]

Benedict Bridgerton x wife reader. Having a date day together for once, leaving their children with Bridgerton's sibling. Escaping from their clutch and just enjoying themselves. Can be fluff/suggestive. Thanks!! :))

Needed Escape

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x reader

Summary: Benedict and you needed a much deserved break :)

Word count: 2k

Warnings: fluff

A/N:

Thank you so much for the request nonnie! I do have to apologize bc it is not my greatest work lol

English is not my first language, so I apologize if I made any (grammar) mistakes. Feedback, requests, recommendations, vents or questions are always welcome. I love talking to you guys about anything <3

Happy reading xxx

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site.

The soft morning light filtered through the curtains of your bedroom, casting a warm glow on the room's muted colors. Benedict stood by the window, looking out at the sprawling estate of his home. But his thoughts weren’t on the family estate, nor on the children, nor even on the upcoming events of the day. His focus was solely on you.

“Are you ready?” he asked, his voice gentle but filled with an underlying excitement that made your heart flutter. You could feel it too—a quiet anticipation, a rare chance to steal some time for just the two of you.

You glanced at him from where you sat, carefully lacing your boots, feeling his gaze on you. It had been so long since you had had a moment like this, away from the hustle of family life. The children, the Bridgerton clan, the endless duties—today, none of it mattered. Today was for the two of you.

“I think so,” you said with a playful grin, standing to face him. “But it’s hard to concentrate when you’re staring at me like that.”

Benedict chuckled softly, his smile always warm, always affectionate. “You’re the most beautiful woman in the world,” he said simply, stepping closer to you, his fingers brushing against the hem of your dress. There was no need for grand gestures or fancy words. His sincerity was always enough.

You met his gaze, your heart skipping a beat. After all this time—after children, after life had thrown its challenges at you both—he still looked at you as if you were the only woman in the room. And you, of course, couldn’t imagine ever looking at anyone else.

He reached out, taking your hand in his. “Are you sure about this? A day away from everything?” he asked, his voice low and thoughtful. He knew how important your family was to you—how hard it could be to walk away from the children for even a few hours.

You squeezed his hand. “I’m sure. We both need it. Time for just us. No distractions.”

There was a brief pause before Benedict spoke again, his voice teasing. “I imagine that this is a day that’s been long overdue.”

You laughed, nodding in agreement. “Perhaps. It seems like all we ever do is chase after the little ones these days. I can’t even remember the last time we had a moment like this.”

“Well,” he said, his smile turning sly, “let’s make the most of it.”

The two of you had arranged for Eloise, of all people, to look after the children for the day. You had no doubt that she would manage just fine, despite her tendency to have an… unconventional approach to childcare. You’d left instructions, but in the end, it was her boundless energy and enthusiasm that had given you the most peace of mind. She adored the children and could handle their chaos like no one else.

“You’re sure you’ll be all right?” you asked, turning to Eloise as you stood in the doorway, the children already clamoring around her, tugging at her skirts.

“Of course!” Eloise said with a grin, her hands on her hips, eyes glinting with mischief. “We’ll have a splendid time. Don’t you worry. They’re wild, but they’re no match for me.” She raised a brow at you, as though daring you to question her ability.

Benedict laughed softly behind you, a knowing glint in his eye. “Just remember, no pirate ship building in the house this time. You’re in charge, not the other way around.”

“Ah, but the children will be much more enthusiastic about their adventures if they’re not confined to the parlor,” Eloise said with a dramatic sigh. “I promise we’ll be fine. Have a wonderful time. We’ll take care of everything here.”

You turned to Benedict, sharing a brief look, both of you fully aware that the chaos awaiting them was more than a little bit amusing. “Thank you, Eloise,” you said, trying to sound serious as you handed over the reigns. “No firecrackers, please.”

She raised her hand in mock solemnity. “Not a single one, I swear. Go enjoy yourselves.”

The drive away was an odd mix of relief and exhilaration. Benedict’s hand found yours as the carriage rolled through the city, the rhythm of the wheels setting a gentle pace for the conversation. The two of you sat in silence for a moment, savoring the quiet, until Benedict spoke again.

“You realize, this is the first time in months that I’ve been able to truly breathe without worrying about someone else.”

You nodded, appreciating the weight of his words. It wasn’t that you didn’t love your children—you did, with all of your heart. But the constant demands, the never-ending needs, had a way of draining you, of pulling you in a thousand directions at once. Being able to step away for a day, to simply exist as partners again, felt like a luxury you hadn’t realized you missed so much.

“Have you thought about what we’ll do?” you asked, turning your attention to Benedict, watching the way his eyes seemed to glimmer with excitement.

He smiled at you, a little devilish, a little wicked. “I have a few ideas,” he said, his voice dropping a little lower, full of intent.

You soon arrived at a secluded tea house, tucked away by a tranquil lake, far from the eyes of the Bridgerton family and the responsibilities that came with your roles. The atmosphere was serene, the kind of peace that allowed you both to simply exist without the outside world intruding.

Inside, the delicate clink of china on porcelain was the only sound that filled the air. The tea house was small but cozy, with soft light pouring in through the windows. A quiet retreat from the busy world, perfect for an afternoon away from everything. You were shown to a secluded table by the window, where the view of the still lake mirrored the calm you both felt in that moment.

As you sat down, Benedict reached across the table, his fingers brushing yours in the most intimate of touches. The simple contact sent a shiver through you, and you couldn’t help but smile at him, the warmth of his touch sending a rush of affection through your chest.

“This feels…” You started, trailing off as you gazed out the window, lost in the view. It was hard to put it into words—how perfect everything felt in this moment. The stillness, the privacy, the presence of Benedict beside you.

“It feels like it’s just us again,” Benedict finished for you, his voice full of quiet understanding. “No distractions. Just you and me.”

You nodded, smiling softly at him. “I’ve missed this. Just being with you.”

His gaze softened as he leaned in slightly, his voice growing quieter. “I think I’ve missed you more than you know. More than anything, really.”

Before you could respond, his hand moved across the table to gently caress your cheek. The soft touch of his fingertips against your skin sent a wave of desire through you, your heart beating faster. There was something about the simplicity of his gesture, how it communicated everything he couldn’t put into words. It wasn’t just a touch—it was a declaration, a reminder of how deeply he loved you.

Without a word, you leaned forward, closing the distance between you. His lips met yours in a kiss that started slow, tender, and deepened gradually, an unspoken conversation that only the two of you could understand. It was as if every moment of your love, every shared experience, every quiet glance was poured into that kiss, and when you finally broke away, your breath came in shallow gasps.

“I think we should do this more often,” Benedict said, his voice husky as he pulled back slightly, his eyes dark with desire. “Take time for just us. Make these moments last longer.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” you said softly, your lips still tingling from his kiss. “But I do love the chaos of our life. It’s part of who we are, isn’t it?”

He smiled, leaning back in his chair, his eyes never leaving you. “Yes,” he said, his voice low, “but I think we deserve these moments too. Moments where it’s just us, rediscovering each other, without the noise.”

The rest of the afternoon passed in a blissful blur. You and Benedict walked along the edge of the lake, talking about everything and nothing, enjoying the simplicity of being in each other’s company. You both didn’t realize how much you had missed this—how much you had missed each other—until it was just the two of you, without any distractions, without anyone else.

By the time you returned back home, the evening was already beginning to settle in. The children were being carried off to bed, though not without a fair amount of resistance.

“Well, they survived,” Benedict said with a chuckle as you both entered the drawing room. His eyes twinkled as they found Eloise, who was giving them an exaggerated, exhausted look.

Eloise dramatically flopped back onto the couch, throwing her arms out as if she were defeated. “I swear, I’ll never have children,” she announced, shaking her head. “That was—utter chaos! I don’t know how you two do it, but after today, I’ve made up my mind. I’m done with kids.”

You exchanged a glance with Benedict, both of you suppressing a smile at the sight of Eloise. She had clearly survived the day but looked like she’d just fought a battle.

“After one day?” Benedict teased, leaning against the doorframe. “You’ve had one day with them, Eloise. You’re telling us that’s enough to give up on children forever?”

Eloise shot him a mock glare, crossing her arms in front of her. “Absolutely. I am not cut out for this. Between Henry and his wild ideas, Clara’s endless energy, and the other three running around like banshees, I’m convinced that children are some form of divine punishment.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at her dramatics. “It’s not that bad,” you said, though you knew it had been a chaotic day. “We’ve just… gotten used to it.”

Benedict raised an eyebrow, his lips twitching into a grin. “Yes, it’s all a part of the charm,” he said with a wink. “Of course, it does take some time to adjust to the constant noise and mess, but you’ll get used to it. Imagine what it’s like for us, living with the constant reminder that ‘everything’s fine’ while six little people demand every ounce of your attention.”

You laughed again, this time stepping toward Eloise and taking a seat beside her. “Honestly, though, it is a lot of work. But it’s also one of the most rewarding things we’ve done together. There’s chaos, sure, but then there are moments—small moments—when everything else fades and it’s just… perfect.”

Eloise’s face softened at your words, though she still rolled her eyes. “Maybe you think it’s perfect,” she teased. “But I could barely get them all to sit down for dinner without someone throwing a tantrum. Clara ended up with sauce all over her face, and I swear Henry tried to convince them all that the house was haunted. Haunted, Benedict! I almost lost my mind.”

“Well, I guess we can’t take Henry out of his role as the family mischief-maker,” you said with a smirk. “But hey, it keeps things interesting.”

Benedict chuckled, crossing his arms. “That’s true. And the energy is contagious. I can’t imagine life without it.”

Eloise sighed dramatically, throwing herself back against the cushions. “You two must be saints. I’ll take the quiet life, thank you very much. No children. No mess. No running around with pirate hats on. I’ll stick to my books and my solitude.”

Benedict leaned in, his gaze playful as he nudged Eloise with his shoulder. “Just wait until you have your own kids,” he said. “I’m sure you’ll change your mind.”

“Not a chance,” she replied with a mock glare, though her lips curled up into a grin. “I’ll stick to being the fun aunt who spoils them and then hands them back to you when they start crying. I’m not cut out for this.”

You grinned at Eloise, knowing exactly what she meant. “That’s the best part about being an aunt. You get all the fun, none of the responsibility.”

“Exactly,” she said, giving you a knowing wink. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take a long bath and pretend this day never happened.”

[applysome]

I’ve now been lucky enough to see Miles Kane with my own eyes (and ears) twice in two days and have been able to form more coherent thoughts (though this will still be a massive ramble!). Long post warning split up by sections so you can skim to whatever interests you!

For ease:

N1 = Night One Thursday

N2= Night Two Friday

Note: all of the below are my observations, perceptions, and speculations, I could very well be wrong about some or all things.

Crowd

Both nights I arrived fifteen minutes before Miles was due on. N1 the crowd was sparse, apart from the venue floor there were large tiered steps and a balcony, and everyone seemed to be spread out. N2 was much busier, the floor, tiered steps and balcony were all packed out. I suspect this may be to do with the Thursday / Friday and 8pm / 9pm effect. Both nights I got myself three rows back from the barrier, stage left (N2 took a little more manouvering!).

The crowd on both nights was a good mix of teenagers/early twenties, people my age (thirties) and men in their fifties. Most of the older men were back on the tiered steps and from previous experience at shows, aren’t as vocal as the younger fans (I’ve observed this over the years watching Maximo Park, I’d recommend checking their music out if you haven’t already!).

N1 Miles takes to the stage greeted by a few cheers and applause and starts to play. Not much singing along or dancing on my side apart from a few of us. Muted cheers at the end of the song. A few songs in and I’m disappointed by the crowd’s reaction; although Miles is giving his all, I feel like I can see a little disappointment on his face too. This is his homecoming show, everyone here should be really up for it. A few people on the barrier in front of me talk to each other frequently right in his eye line. It takes about two thirds of the set list for the crowd to properly warm up and bringing out Dave McCabe from The Zutons gets the loudest reaction and sing along of the night. I tried to be as responsive and loud as I could but I’m only one person.

N2 Miles takes to the stage greeted with thunderous applause, cheers, screaming, the full works. Thirty seconds in he already looks much happier than he did on N1. At several points between songs when Miles stops to catch his breath the crowd is so loud all he can do is stand there and take it in. He was visibly emotional at several points throughout at the crowd’s reaction and a few spontaneous chants of “Miles Fucking Kane” really put a smile on his face. Much more singing, especially in the call and response parts of his songs. Definitely the homecoming show he deserved.

Also noteworthy, I didn’t see anyone from N1 on N2. Although a small sample size of where I was stood in the crowd, I expected a few people would go to both shows. Perhaps there were some people more central or on the steps/balcony.

Appearance and Performance

We all love Miles primarily for his talent but let’s be honest, the man is also stunning. But I wasn’t prepared for how attractive he would be in real life up close. It was a little distracting at times on N1 😅. By N2 I was more prepared! Miles looked great as always and certainly knows how to work those boots. As someone who can’t wear heels at all I must admit I’m a little envious!

N1 his moves were still there and he was giving his all as always, but N2 he really went for it, obviously spurred on by the crowd’s reaction. Cardio is sometimes overlooked I think but is so important for singers, especially ones who dance or are very active on stage. Again from experience watching Muse a lot over the years, I could tell when Matt Bellamy had let his cardio slip, struggling to hold notes for as long, singing more in chest voice than belting and so on. Miles had none of these issues which is impressive given his asthma and being a heavy smoker. Obviously the boxing is working!

Performance wise, I have high expectations and can be quite critical because a lot of my favourites (again - Muse, Maximo Park) are spot on live. Across both nights there weren’t any vocal issues, missed notes, absolutely nothing. Just pure passion, excitement, dedication, determination, even when the crowd wasn’t as vocal on N1. Flawless, faultless performances.

Setlist

The set list was the exact same across both nights which I was a bit surprised at, even down to Dave McCabe with Miles on bass and the support act Ellis Murphy playing harmonica in Come Closer which was a nice addition. I wondered if the choice to keep the set list the same will be something going forward for the rest of the tour or if it was just so everyone in Liverpool had the same experience. Regardless it was a good mix of songs with Come Closer, Coup de Grace, Cry on My Guitar and Inhaler getting the biggest reactions of the night.

It was great to hear Shavambacu live though I don’t think everyone gave it the appreciation it deserved! As others have shared, the set list choice of Shavambacu - See Ya When I See Ya - Colour of the Trap was… a choice. Also nice to hear Counting Down the Days which is such a platonic song… Might have been nice to hear My Fantasy or Kingcrawler one night instead but overall no complaints! Forever holding out hope he will play Ransom or Wrong Side of Life!

Other Notable Moments

During Never Taking Me Alive on N2, Miles seemed particularly amped up proclaiming “From day one Liverpool, been doing things my own fucking way”. Maybe he’s here amongst us following yesterday’s discussion (see my previous post) 🤣 but in all seriousness it was amazing to see Miles happy, rocking the stage and getting the reception he deserves, being unashamedly himself with his heels, leopard print amps and turtle plushie.

During Come Closer on N2, someone threw a turtle plushie onto the stage and Miles proceeded to balance it on his head for the last call and response of the song, quite impressive whilst singing animatedly!

Miles on bass during You Will You Won’t on both nights was really quite something (petition for more of this please) and I could tell he was genuinely excited to be playing with Dave McCabe.

One of the teenage girls in front of me excitedly proclaimed to her friends a few times that Miles had looked at her. Well we all know really he was actually looking over her head at me 🤣 a tiny part of my delusional brain feels like he saw me both nights and “recognised” me on N2, as I was wearing the same jacket in the same spot. But really I think this is just the Miles Kane effect; his ability to connect with the audience on a personal level, making you feel like he’s playing just for you even in a room of hundreds of people.

At the end of N2, Miles lingered on stage for longer and jumped down into the crowd for handshakes and hugs (sadly not on my side!) and generally soaked up the overwhelming response from the crowd which was truly deserved.

Overall Thoughts

If you’ve made it this far you’re a trooper! Be rewarded by my very poor quality photographs (I am short and there were a lot of heads in the way!)

Miles is a born performer who gave everything he had both nights, even when the crowd wasn’t as receptive on N1. I’ve been to a lot of shows in the last twenty years and these are genuinely some of the best I’ve seen. You can just tell how much he loves music, performing and being on stage, I had a huge smile on my face throughout both shows. I know this isn’t always the case as some artists become tired or jaded and see it as “just a job”.

Best of all, I didn’t hear anyone so much as mention TLSP or anyone affiliated with them anywhere around me. Everything on both nights, but particularly N2 was about Miles Fucking Kane, as it should be.

I’m so grateful I got to see him live at all, let alone twice for his homecoming shows and I’m so happy Miles got the overwhelmingly positive reaction he deserves on N2. As a new fan (April 2024) I just hope he continues to gain momentum and grow in popularity from here.

Hopefully for Miles, The Best is Yet to Come.

[rolfedewolfes-uglytoes]

WARNING: HORRIBLE STUFF WILL BE MENTIONED IN HERE

if you are under 18 then I recommend you probably shouldn't look at this post

I'm making this post because I don't want to interact with this person AT ALL and I'm showing you WHY.

(I'm saying sorry here because I genuinely have a hard time making long posts. If I sound weird or I don't make any sense just dm me or comment.)

TO THE PERSON I'M TALKING ABOUT: I don't care if you see this or not. Just don't interact with me.

This will have nsfw art of Mitzi and Beach Bear so yea...

WARNING: I AM SHOWING PICTURES AS PROOF

I don't know if people have made a post like this but I remembered those posts a while ago about how we shouldn't idolize creeps in the fandom just because they have a big collection or they're popular.

I didn't want to put this on my main because I didn't want one of my muts to be triggered by this post.

.

.

.

I don't know how to start this so I'm just going to jump right into it. (WARNING I suck at spelling so there will probably be tons of errors)

Back when I was 17, me and this other person (who was also 17 who I don't wanna mention for privacy) had a conversation about weird people in the RAE fandom on discord. We talked about how there were so many creeps in the community and they brought up CavitySam. (CS) Then they basically showed me what I'm gonna show you. I've only thought about making a post like this today because I've just been thinking about it a lot. So I went on a search for that disgusting picture (it wasn't hard to find) I was 17 when I found out about all of this stuff so I didn't think it was a good idea to say anything. Now I'm 18 so I feel like I should say something.

(I believe CS goes by she/Her because I've seen people refer to her as such so that's what I'm gonna use.)

SO NOW I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU WHAT I'VE FOUND

I was shown this picture of Beach Bear and Mitzi... and as you can see the artstyle of the nsfw art matches with CavitySam's artstyle.

Here is massive evidence: on the page on the nsfw website there was nsfw of Kedamono that was basically an nsfw version of CS's sfw art of him.

It wasn't some horrible edit. The lewd part matched right with the other line art perfectly like it had always been there.

I do have a Google doc I can link to anyone who wants to see the half censored Pic of Kedamono, Mitzi, and Beach Bear for more proof.

I not trying to say that CS is a full blown ped0 (bc I can't say if that's true or not. I know people have said on other platforms that she is but i can't say for certain) but SHE STILL MADE FULL BLOWN NSFW ART OF BEACH BEAR AND MITZI. THAT'S DISGUSTING. I know a lot of people in the rae community on here. I know that you guys don't support this disgusting stuff.

If you wanna defend CS idc. There's no way that this isn't her art. They look so similar. I would be absolutely shocked if it wasn't. And in all honesty I don't want it to be. I really wish people wouldn't make nasty stuff with Mitzi in it. I believe CS made art for Aaron at one point and knowing that just makes me feel nasty.

I don't really know how to end this.

I'm sorry for such a serious post but I feel like it's unfair to people who don't know.

[canislycaon24]

It is true that Nation-People are inherently much, much more prone to violence than Humans. However, I believe that in general, Nation-People would be engaging in significantly less violence than they do (I’m talking about violence they do on their own, not violence due to orders) if they each had a competent enrichment team. Give them food puzzles. Give them things they can play with/destroy safely. Take them to novel locations. Make changes to their enclosures houses. Let them engage in their natural behaviors (violence) in safe ways (historical war reenactments, martial arts, sports, etc). Give them tasks to do (ordering people around, physical labor, mental labor, etc). Play games with them. Give them opportunities to socialize (safely, with both other Nation-People and with Humans) Make sure they exercise. They would be a lot less destructive towards people and objects if they were getting enough mental and physical stimulation, and it is up to their respective governments to provide it!

I don’t think proper enrichment would fix them.

But it would likely help.

Some specific examples:

-Tolys would thrive on food-based enrichment, but he’s highly food-aggressive so that would have to be accounted for. Never allow anyone to get between him and his meal if you don’t want them to get mauled. Martial arts are also good to get his excess energy out in a safe manner. Let him loose in a forest from time to time so he can explore. You may have a lot of trouble getting him to come back when called, so recalling is something that should be extensively worked on.

-There’s no enrichment plan that can prevent Gilbert from getting bored and destroying things or picking fights with people. He has too much energy and gets bored too quickly. However he would benefit greatly from being taught tricks, as long as he doesn’t have to repeat the same ones too much as that would make him bored. Letting him engage in safe forms of violence is also a must.

-Ludwig NEEDS tasks. He’s like a working breed of Domestic Dog, if he has a job he focuses entirely on that. But if he doesn’t, he will tear up the couch.

-I don’t exactly know what Ivan needs but he needs it BADLY. The prime example of the worst that can happen when you have an under-enriched Nation-Person. He needs his destructive tendencies drawn to something other than his handlers and other Nation-People.

-Alfred would also do great with food-based enrichment. He requires a LOT of mental stimulation, so challenging him with tasks that require a lot of mental energy will be quite beneficial. Novel experiences are a must. Museums are highly recommended for this. And he needs a shit ton of opportunities to exercise as well. Toys such as video games and fidget toys will help a lot.

-Allowing Feliks to make changes to his enclosure house would be crucial. He should be regularly provided with things to change his environment, from giving him new objects to giving him materials to alter currently owned objects. If he won’t make changes himself, his handlers should probably make changes on their own so he can at least experience a novel environment while he angrily undos the changes. Toys, primarily video games, will provide beneficial mental stimulation and keep him occupied.

[rollypoliesonarock]

Very interesting actually, I never really thought it would be different in other states, although now that I'm thinking about it (and how much other voting laws vary by state) it makes sense.

I live in Illinois (cook county/Chicago) and you are allowed to have your phone out while voting here, the only thing you can't do it take photos. I never heard anyone at the polling place say anything about phones, and after looking it up it is perfectly fine to have a phone out while voting in Illinois. Specifically the Internet (mostly Chicago News stuff because that's where I live) is telling me that phones are allowed in Illinois because the voter is allowed to take notes with them to vote.

I did some poking around on the Internet. Sadly I was not able to find a list of what states allow phones and what states do not, although I did find a list of states who did and don't allow selfies in the voting booths, which seems like what the vast majority of information on this topic is about, and even that varies a lot by state (selfies are illegal in Illinois but legal in California) but it seems those rules are interpreting laws about sharing your vote much more then they are about phones.

I did look up a few states, and found that phones are legal in Illinois, California, and Pennsylvania, but illegal in Texas.

I will say looking this up just for a handful of states was difficult, as SO MUCH of the information was about selfies regardless of what I typed into the search bar. Like I get why people want to know that in the age of social media but wow I did not expect to see mostly stuff about that going into this, so I won't be looking up information about other states, but I strongly recommend everyone reblog this with their own state and research and maybe we can get a good list of what states allow you to look stuff up at the polls through teamwork

I would like to make a separate note, going along with my original point and what inspired this in the first place (trump supporters not knowing what being a trump supporter means until they learn how badly they fucked up post election). I don't know what this is like in every state, but in Illinois and hopefully other states you can look up what is on your ballot ahead of time, even if you can't bring in a phone you can still bring written notes, and at least with how long voting lines can be, it is much better to take your time doing research at home before voting.

Really I just want people to do their research and know that despite all the obstacles some states throw at voters, the education around what you are voting for is out there and accessible, and to please please look shit up before submitting your ballot

I keep seeing stuff about how "can I change my vote" and "what is a tariff" are trending google searches after the election

and you know I feel like we should make a bigger deal about the fact that you are allowed to look things up in the polls, and you are allowed to take your time voting

it is not an exam, you will not be told you are cheating if you have your phone out while voting, if you don't know something it's better to look it up while there then it is to look it up after you already made your uninformed decision

[mumblingsage]

"I enjoy reading kids books" does not make you immature.

"I enjoy *only* reading kids books" is depriving yourself of joy, but I cannot force joy on you.

"I've never read [XYZ] because it's a kids book and I never read kids books" is also depriving yourself of joy, and again, I cannot force it on you.

"I enjoy reading kids books and resent any suggestion of reading something written for my level of life experience." The resentment may be a natural response to the tone of some of these suggestions - they do get snarky - but because it leads you to close off a source of joy, it's doing you no favors.

"I enjoy reading adult books and am baffled and slightly offended by people implying the content I read is inappropriate, offensive, unbearable, and otherwise not worth reading because it sometimes features characters being unhappy or behaving poorly." You are me. I'm sorry. Let's read a good book and find joy.

"I only read kids books and if you have anything snippy to say about this you must be prepared to hold my hand and explain, with the gentleness suitable to handling a baby hummingbird, with step by step guidelines, how I can start reading books written for my level of life experience." I don't know how to explain that random strangers with opinions on the internet are not your teacher or your parent.