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oreosmilkshakes · 4 years ago

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Mine; the sequel

Summary: The end of everything Pairing: The Winter Soldier!Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 11.4K Warnings: Violence, Endgame’s ending, character death, A/N: This is the longest piece I have ever written and holy crap, it was tiring but worth it. Seriously. I’ll wait a little until I wanna write again. The sequel spans over CW, IW and Endgame so yall are in for a ride. ED/N: Editor has gone to the Ether Realm (Written by author) Taglist: @igothroughphasesalot @paniniirae @winteroqers @felicityofbakerstreet

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Two years. Two years was how long it took to hunt Bucky down after the events of HYDRA’s infiltration within S.H.I.E.L.D. . Y/N did not give up. She spent sleepless nights, using her contacts, satellite technology to find her soulmate but each time he appears, he disappears the next minute after. Even with Steve and Sam’s help, the job didn’t get easier.

After S.H.I.E.L.D.’s fall, a new power came in and that very same power thought it would be a good idea to control the Avengers through a series of words. Specifically, the Sokovia Accords after what happened in Lagos. Y/N knew it wasn’t Wanda’s fault. She was constantly with her best friend day and night, being her shoulder to cry on. Y/N pitied Wanda. She lost her brother to Ultron and now, people were dead due to an accident. Y/N was also there for Steve when he received the news that Peggy had passed on in her sleep. She attended her funeral, standing by the blonde super soldier throughout the entire event. Y/N knew how much Peggy meant to him. He was a man out of time after all. Y/N immediately pulled Steve in a tight hug after the coffin was sent for burial.

It was indeed dark days and darker ones were coming

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Y/N was requested by Everett Ross to accompany him and Sharon to greet Steve. She’s heard what had happened in Vienna and the whole explosion. Something big was going on. Y/N could feel it. So, as she walked towards the vans, one could imagine the surprise Y/N felt when she saw Bucky. Her eyes widened and so did his. Her jaw slacked a little, looking at Steve who gave her a subtle shake of his head. Everett Ross and Sharon Carter, along with the other German soldiers here don’t need to know Bucky and Y/N were soulmates.

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Y/N’s heart was racing, Bucky’s too. Two years. Two long years of sleep deprivation and tears has finally brought Bucky back to her. She wanted to hug him, to feel him against her body, to touch every inch of his skin. However, seeing him caged like an animal broke her heart. Was it really Bucky that blew up the building and killed the king of Wakanda? It couldn’t be him. Y/N gulped, her eyes meeting with Bucky’s again as he was slowly transported away. She could see him flex his metal arm, as if trying to escape his prison so he could run to Y/N and be reunited. He has changed. Y/N could not see the same killer she saw back in 2014. However, he looked beefier and that made Y/N’s heart flutter. He was also tamer, calmer. Something like The Winter Soldier’s programming won’t go away easily, of course.

And Y/N was right.

Blackout. Steve looked around, all monitors had gone dark.

“Come on, guys, get me eyes on Barnes,” Everett spoke through his walkie-talkie. Bucky was left with a faceless man. Anything could go wrong.

Tony tapped on his ear.

“Friday, get me a source on that outage,” Something was wrong.

Sharon looked at both Steve, Sam, and Y/N. “Sub-level five, East Wing,” Without further delay, the trio hastily made their way to Bucky’s location.

Bucky turned to his supposed interrogator. “What the hell is this?”

“Why don’t we discuss your home? Not Romania. Certainly not Brooklyn, no,” Zemo dug into his bag, hand gripping the item most important to Bucky.

He pulled out The Red Book, holding it up for Bucky to see. “I mean your real home,”

Bucky’s eyes darken at the sight of the book. The very same book that was used by the Russian to control him like he was some dog.

Zemo removed his glasses, standing up with the book and a torch.

“Желание (Longing),” Something ticked in Bucky’s mind. The locks he had on The Winter Soldier was rattling, like a monster slamming itself against the heavy doors of its prison.

“No,” He whispered.

“Ржавый (Rusted),”

Bucky threw his head back. “Stop,” The door shook hard but not enough for The Winter Soldier to be released. Yet.

“Семнадцать (Seventeen),” Bucky clenched his metal fist. “Stop,” He growled. If, no, when, Zemo finishes those words, The Winter Soldier would be broken free and that scared Bucky. His soulmate was in the same facility as him and the chances of Bucky hurting his lover and everyone around her was high. Bucky’s breathing got heavy, growling under his breath as he tried to fight hard against his trigger words. Zemo looked up, eyes focused on Bucky in torment. “Рассвет (Daybreak),” Bucky screamed, four out of ten locks were broken now. He yanked his metal arm out, successfully breaking his cuff before moving to rip the cuff off his right arm.

“Печь (Furnace)”

Bucky grunted, moving to the door. His fists slammed against the reinforced door, grunting as he was losing to the locks on the prison.

“Девять (Nine), Доброкачественный (Benign),” Zemo continued. Bucky’s metal fist slammed hard against the door, seven out of ten locks were broken now.

“Возвращение на родину (Homecoming), Один (One),” The cracks formed by Bucky’s hard punches grew bigger. He was feral once more, eyes wild and seeking freedom from his prison.

“Товарный вагон (Freight car),” And that was it. The door broke, locks broken and Bucky--No, The Winter Soldier was free once more. The Soldier burst out of his prison, hair falling over his face as he breathed softly. Zemo stood in front of him, The Soldier stood, eyes dark and showed no signs of Bucky at all.

“Cолдат? (Soldier?)”

“я готов отвечать (Ready to comply),” The Soldier replied, ready to receive his newest assignment.

“Mission report. December 16, 1991,”

And The Soldier knew exactly what to do.

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When Steve, Sam, and Y/N arrived, soldiers laid slumped against the wall, unconscious from being attacked by the dark Super Soldier.

“What the hell...Who did this?” Y/N gasped, checking on one of the soldiers, and sighed in relief when she found that he was still alive.

Steve led further into the cell, kneeling to check on a soldier when a soft voice called out.

“Help me. Help,”

Steve saw red. He stormed over to Zemo. “Get up,” He grabbed the man and slammed him against the wall. “Who are you? What do you want?” Steve’s fists clenched tightly on Zemo’s collar.

“To see an empire fall,��

Sam stepped in, narrowly missing a punch by The Soldier. “Bucky!” Y/N screamed to get his attention. Nothing. No hesitation or a glance at the woman. Sam landed a few punches on The Soldier before the assassin grabbed him and threw him against the cage. “Sam!” Y/N moved to help. “Y/N, stay back. This isn’t Bucky!” Steve ordered and Y/N froze. The Soldier looked at Steve and then to Y/N with dark eyes. He turned his attention to the woman, storming over to her. Before he could swing his fist at his soulmate, Steve grabbed Bucky and threw him back. “Y/N, get out of here!” “I am not leaving you here!” “Just go!” Steve narrowly missed a punch from Bucky, landing his fist onto his best friend’s face. Y/N took one last look at Bucky before taking off. Not to find safety, no. But to try and find ways to subdue The Soldier.

The Soldier and Steve fought hard against one another until they both ended in the water with a broken chopper. Sam and Y/N had left the facility to chase after Zemo but the man had disappeared.

Time to hide again

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Y/N didn’t hesitate to follow Sam to the meeting point where Steve had brought Bucky. She bit her nail, the man’s metal arm was clamped under heavy machinery so he wouldn’t be able to escape if he wanted to again.

Y/N moved to Bucky, brushing his hair out of his face. He was still unconscious, clothes and hair damp from his and Steve’s little swim. “Be careful, Y/N,” Sam warned. Y/N shook her head. “After two years, Sam. Two years of finding Bucky. I am not going to ‘be careful,” She cupped Bucky’s rough cheek, her thumb gently brushing the red bruise on his left cheekbone. Y/N held back tears, her heart was aching for the man before her. “I missed you, Bucky,” Y/N whispered, words filled with emotion and unspoken love.

The Winter Soldier slowly slipped back into its cage, the effects from the words were losing their power and once again, Bucky Barnes was back. The Super Soldier stirred awake a few minutes later from the distant sound of a helicopter. “Cap,” Sam called out. Steve stopped his conversation with Y/N, Sam gesturing to Bucky. Y/N’s breath hitched a little. Bucky was awake. She licked her dry lips, following Steve from behind.

Bucky groaned softly, using his hand to lift himself so he could look at Steve. His eyes drifted to Sam next and finally, Y/N. He parted his lips, wanting to say something to his soulmate but Steve cut off to him first.

“Answer me first. Which Bucky am I talking to?”

Bucky blinked a few times. “Your mom’s name was Sarah. You used to wear newspaper in your shoes,” Bucky chuckled. Steve was satisfied with Bucky’s answer. “Can’t read that in a museum,” Sam was in disbelief.

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“Just like that, we’re supposed to be cool?”

Bucky’s eyes flickered to Y/N again then back to Steve.

“What did I do?” “Enough,” Steve replied. Bucky let out a soft sigh. “Oh, god. I knew this would happen. Everything HYDRA put inside me is still there. All he had to do was say the goddamn words,” Bucky whispered.

“Who was he?” Steve questioned.

“I don’t know,”

“People are dead. The bombing, the setup, the doctor did all that just to get 10 minutes with you. I need you to do better than “I don’t know,” Steve pressed on further. Y/N wanted to step forward and defend Bucky but Sam shook his head. Bucky squinted his eyes a little, brows furrowed as he recalled the moment before he became The Winter Soldier.

“He wanted to know about Siberia. Where I was kept. He wanted to know exactly where,” “Why would he need to know that?” Bucky knew it was finally time to spill the truth. And so he did. “Because I’m not the only Winter Soldier,” Bucky gave a brief recollection of The Winter Soldier program. Y/N moved a little closer to Sam, fear growing in her heart knowing there were more than Bucky.

Steve was now leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “Who were they?” “Their most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in HYDRA history. And that was before the serum,” Bucky explained. Y/N was now standing behind him, hands gently playing with the tips of his long hair as a form of comfort. Bucky found it comforting as well, leaning into the woman’s soft touch.

“They all turned out like you?” Sam questioned.

Bucky shook his head once. “Worse,” Now, it was Steve’s turn to speak.

“The doctor, could he control them?”

“Enough,” Bucky looked down at Y/N’s hands that were now on his strong shoulders. He leaned further into his soulmate’s touch, his head resting on her abdomen.

“Said he wanted to see an empire fall,” Steve glanced at Sam. Bucky leaned forward. “With these guys, he could do it. They speak 30 languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize. They can take a whole country down in one night, you’d never see them coming,”

Sam approached Steve, speaking to him lowly. Bucky turned to Y/N, his metal hand taking one of the woman’s hands softly. He brought it to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I really am,” Bucky stood, turning to face the woman. He tilted his head down to face his soulmate, the corner of his mouth twitched into a small smile. “You know, I didn’t realize how short you are,” Y/N gasped, punching Bucky in the shoulder, only to realize she punched metal and winced softly. Bucky took both her hands, lacing their fingers together. “I want to apologize to you, doll. I made a promise and I didn’t fulfi-,” “No...Don’t say it. It’s not your fault. I know how hard it is to push him aside and be the man who you are today,” Y/N moved a hand up Bucky’s arm, resting on his bicep. She couldn’t get over how beefy he looked now compared to two years ago. Y/N cleared her throat, quickly averting her gaze so Bucky won’t catch her staring at him. Too late though. Y/N looked up at Bucky, cerulean eyes met hazelnut ones. Her hand moved up to his rough jaw, thumb feeling the sharp bristles of hair that covered his jaw. The Super Soldier leaned in slowly, his metal hand gripped Y/N’s waist gently. Their lips met in a soft kiss, one filled with unspoken love and kept emotions. Bucky pulled Y/N closer, deepening the soft kiss. A stray tear trickled down the agent’s cheek, Bucky pulled away slowly. He cupped Y/N’s cheek, his metal thumb wiped away the tear. He knew exactly why she was crying. Happy tears. Reunited finally after two years. “Two years, I spent wondering what my soulmate tasted like. I’m not disappointed,” Y/N laughed softly, both realizing that this was their first kiss. “Neither am I, Bucky. Neither am I,”

Bucky turned to face Steve and Sam, both men had smirks on their faces and nodding, seemingly impressed with the other Super Soldier. Y/N simply hid her red, embarrassed face in Bucky’s warm chest.

“Come on. We’re meeting someone,” Sam walked ahead, Steve followed shortly after along with Bucky and Y/N.

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Y/N certainly didn’t expect the days to get worse. The first being Tony and his side of the team ambushing Steve in Germany’s airport. Now, that was a bigger mess. Explosions here and there, heroes thrown around by one another and Y/N constantly at Bucky’s side. She couldn’t leave him and she was not letting him go anytime soon. Bucky felt the same way which is why he was doing his best in protecting the woman he loves. What’s worse was that those who could not get to Siberia were thrown in the Raft.

Steve manned the quinjet, Y/N and Bucky were seated at the back. Her hand took his metal ones, lacing their fingers together as Y/N leaned her head on his strong shoulder. Bucky let out a soft but audible sigh as he looked down at their laced fingers. All this fight was because of Zemo framing Bucky for the Vienna bombing.

Y/N looked up at Bucky. “Do you think this will ever stop? This fighting, people or organizations with plans to take over the world, the world in chaos?” The super soldier thought hard. Would it? Of course not. A storm was coming.

“I’ve been in this shit for over 70 years, Y/N. It won’t stop,” He looked down at his soulmate, cold thumb caressing Y/N’s skin. The woman nodded, leaning up to steal a kiss off his lips before snuggling into Bucky’s side for warmth. Bucky simply smirked at his soulmate’s action, heart fluttered a little from her affectionate gesture. Bucky stayed in the same position for hours while Y/N slept, making quiet conversation with Steve as the trio made their way to Siberia.

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“Doll, wake up,” Y/N heard a distant voice called out to her in her sleep. “Wake up, sweetheart. We’re here,” The woman’s eyes fluttered open, jolting up in an upright position as she looked out the cockpit window to see white. “Where are we?” Y/N let out a soft yawn shortly after her question.

“Siberia,” Steve answered before Bucky could. The quinjet landed beside a snow plower. Bucky moved over to the weapons locker, grabbing an assault rifle. The ram to the exit lowered, Y/N left first to examine the snow plower.

Steve glanced over to Bucky. “You remember that time we had to ride back from Rockaway Beach in the back of that freezer truck?”

Bucky looked over to Steve. “Was that the time we used our train money to buy hot dogs?” “You blew three bucks trying to win that stuffed bear for a redhead,” Bucky smiled brightly, remembering those memories that happened oh-so-long ago.

“What was her name, again?” “Dolores. You called her Dot,” “She’s gotta be a hundred years old right now,” Steve patted Bucky’s shoulder. “So are we, pal,” He nodded and left the quinjet.

Y/N stood by the opened doors.

“He can’t have been here more than a few hours,” The agent looked at both Super Soldiers. Tracks were still fresh too.

“Long enough to wake them up,” Bucky gripped the handle of his assault rifle, following Y/N into the facility with Steve behind them. The trio took the elevator down, stepping out, and swept corners. It was quiet. Eerily quiet. Y/N took the lead, handgun in her hand as she climbed the short flight of stairs. BANG

The trio simultaneously whipped around to the elevator, ready to attack the intruder.

“You ready?” Steve whispered. “Yeah,” Bucky looked through the sights of his rifle, hand steady. The metal door creaked, the middle was pushed open and it revealed Tony. Steve eased up a little, both men approaching one another. Tony’s headpiece pulled away to reveal the man’s face. “You seem a little defensive,” Tony commented. Steve nodded, still holding his shield up. “It’s been a long day,” Tony looked up at Bucky and Y/N. “At ease, Soldier. I’m not currently after you. Y/N, not gonna give this old man a hug?”

Y/N was no doubt Tony’s favorite person. They worked together with Y/N being mentored by him in tinkering with tech. After all, Y/N was still young. But don’t let that mistake you. She was smart, a formidable fighter and had friends in high places.

Y/N was just about to take a step down when Bucky stopped her. “No,” “Bucky, please. It’s Tony. I know him,” She whispered, gently pushing his arm away gently. The Super Soldier grumbled and moved his arm away, Y/N moved to hug the older man tightly. “I’m sorry you had to be tangled in this, kid,” Tony looked down at the young woman with soft eyes. “It was my choice, Tony. Don’t worry about me,” Tony sighed softly. He could never see Y/N as an enemy even if she was on Steve’s side. He loves her too much like a daughter. “Can’t help but worry, kid. You’re like a-,” “A daughter to me, I know. I’ll be fine,” Y/N smiled, giving Tony one more hug before pulling away.

“Why are you here?” Steve questioned, breaking the moment.

“Could be your story’s not so crazy. Maybe. Ross has no idea I’m here. I’d like to keep it that way. Otherwise, I gotta arrest myself,”

Steve stared at Tony with careful eyes. “Well, that sounds like a lot of paperwork,” Tony scoffed and Steve eased up, lowering his shield.

“It’s good to see you, Tony,” “You too, Cap,” Tony turned to Bucky, his rifle still pointed to the billionaire. “Hey, Manchurian Candidate, you’re killing me. There’s a truce here. You can drop..” Tony trailed off. Y/N approached Bucky, a hand on the muzzle of the rifle. “It’s okay..,” Bucky’s eyes flicked to his soulmate and lowered his gun.

“Let’s go,” Y/N moved past Bucky and led the way deeper into the facility.

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It was a surprise at how the facility still had power working after all these years. However, dust and cobwebs covered a lot of surface areas. The four ventured deeper into the bunker, entering a larger part of the facility. “I got heat signatures,” Tony informed.

“How many?” Steve asked.

“Uh, one,”

Six lights, six freezing tubes. “What the hell is all this..?” Y/N questioned, squinting her eyes at the tubes. Each one had a small hole in the glass.

“If it’s any comfort, they died in their sleep,” Zemo’s voice came on through the speaker. The four slowly walked over to the other side, Y/N closely examining the tubes. These must be the Super Soldiers Bucky was talking about. Each had a bullet in their head.

“Did you really think I wanted more of you?” Zemo’s voice came back on.

Bucky held his gun close, swallowing as he recognized each cold face. “What the hell?” He whispered, keeping close to his soulmate. “I’m grateful to them, though. They brought you here,” Zemo finally showed himself. Tony held his arm out, aiming a wrist missile at Zemo. Steve threw his shield at the glass, the Vibranium frisbee simply bounced off the wall and returned back to Steve. “Please, Captain. The Soviets built this chamber to withstand the launch blast of UR-100 rockets,”

“I’m betting I can beat that,” Tony claimed, cocky.

“Oh, I’m sure you could, Mr. Stark. Given time. But then you’d never know why you came,”

Steve approached the small window. “You killed innocent people in Vienna just to bring us here?”

Zemo moved closer to the window. “I’ve thought about nothing else for over a year. I studied you. I followed you. But now that you’re standing here...I just realized..there’s a bit of green in the blue of your eyes,” Zemo chuckled. “How nice to find a flaw,” Steve understood the situation. “You’re Sokovian. Is that what this is about?”

Zemo shook his head. “Sokovia was a failed state long before you blew it to hell. No. I’m here because I made a promise,”

Steve nodded slightly. “You lost someone?”

Zemo’s jaw clenched, clicking his tongue. “I lost everyone. And so will you,” Zemo turned, pushing a button.

By Steve, a monitor turned on. The blonde glanced at Zemo then approached the monitor. “An empire toppled by its enemies can rise again. But one which crumbles from within? That’s dead. Forever,” Tony, Bucky, and Y/N approached the monitor. It was a camera, panned in a very specific spot. The date in the corner read ‘December 16, 1991,’

Tony looked down at the monitor. “I know that road,” His eyes looked down at the tape. “What is this?” He questioned Zemo, the Sokovian simply chose not to say anything and allowed the heroes to watch as the video played.

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Y/N was horrified at the contents of the footage. Bucky--no, The Winter Soldier killed Tony’s parents. Tony’s eyes were hard, jaw ticking as he struggled to fight back his growing, erratic emotions. He was about to move to Bucky when Steve stopped him. “No, Tony,” Tony’s head snapped to Steve but his eyes didn’t meet the blonde’s until he found the courage to do so. “Did you know?” “I didn’t know it was him,” Steve avoided. “Don’t bullshit me, Rogers. Did you know?” Tony’s voice was strained, in a whisper of growing rage and sadness.

“Yes,” Tony pushed Steve away, betrayed by the fact Steve knew. Steve knew how his parents died and did not do anything to tell him.

“Tony, please, ju-,” Tony held a hand up to shush Y/N up. With a flick of his hand, he sent Steve flying before proceeding to attack Bucky.

It was an entire mess of chaos. Punches being thrown, kicks and just simply the pain of seeing a once-powerful team breaking apart all because of one single piece of footage.

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Y/N did her best to try and break off the fight but received punches herself. Steve and Bucky were overwhelming Tony. He shot a repulsor blast to Steve, sending him against the wall. “Tony, stop!” Y/N grabbed his right arm, struggling to pull Tony back. The billionaire shoved Y/N away hard, sending her to the wall as well. She bumped her head against the concrete, groaning softly as blood trickled from the open wound.

Bucky roared in anger, landing a hard fist onto the chest plate. Tony landed a few punches on Bucky but the Super Soldier barely flinched from it. Years as The Winter Soldier made him this way. Bucky was pissed off. Tony released a blast, Bucky forced the blast upwards before landing a hard punch straight to the core. Tony stumbled backwards. “You hurt Y/N!” Bucky roared, using his right arm to pin the billionaire against the wall. Metal fingers dig into the titanium plate. Steve struggled to stand, looking over to the side to see Y/N in pain.

“Y/N,” Steve groaned out, moving over to check on the woman.

Bucky pushed hard against Tony, screaming as fingers grabbed the glowing core. An unexpected blast from the core sent Bucky stumbling back, landing on his right arm.

Tony shot a blast at Bucky, the Super Soldier landed beside Y/N. “Bucky..,” Y/N moved over to Bucky, heaving his head on her lap. Her eyes landed on the metal stumped, the edges orange from the heat. Bucky took some time to recover, eyes blurry and mind hazy from the hit.

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When the fighting ended, Tony was beaten to a pulp. Y/N was supporting Bucky, with sad eyes on Tony’s downed form. Steve limped over to the two, assisting Y/N with her soulmate.

“That shield doesn’t belong to you. You don’t deserve it. My father made that shield,” Steve has heard enough. He simply dropped the shield, leaving the facility with Y/N and Bucky.

Steve carried Bucky back to the quinjet, setting him down. Y/N sat beside her lover, pulling him close.

“I expected to see you here, Captain Rogers,” T’Challa approached the jet. Steve was on guard, the King raised his hand up. “I almost killed the wrong man, Captain Rogers,” Steve relaxed as the King approached the ram of the jet. “I apologize, Mr. Barnes. I truly am,” T’Challa eyed the couple, understanding what was going on. Bucky simply gave T’Challa a nod, weak from all the fighting. “May I place an offer, Captain Rogers?” “What’s the offer?” “Sanctuary for Mr. Barnes and his soulmate in Wakanda. We will take care of them,” Steve looked at Y/N and Bucky, the woman was whispering soft words to her soulmate.

“Thank you, Your Highness. I think it’s best if they do so,” T’Challa nodded. “Very well then. Wakanda’s doors are open for you,” With that, the King left and before Y/N knew it, she was in Wakanda.

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Y/N looked at Bucky with sad eyes. He had to do this. She knew he had to do this. Cryosleep. Her hand rested on the back of Bucky’s neck, both soulmates looking at one another deep in the eyes before Bucky made the move to plant a kiss on the agent’s lips.

Steve approached the two. “You sure about this?” The blonde questioned.

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“I can’t trust my own mind,” Bucky gave a short smile, looking up to his lover. He knew this would be hard for Steve, especially more so on Y/N. God knows how long it will take to remove HYDRA’s programming etched in his mind like a parasite. He took Y/N’s hand, lacing their fingers together.

“So, until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head, I think going back under is the best thing. For everybody,” Steve nodded. He was not really fond of Bucky leaving Y/N alone and freezing up but if he wanted to prevent another Zemo occurrence, this was the price to pay. “I’ll give you and Y/N some time together,” Steve left shortly after.

Bucky turned his attention to Y/N, tears pooling in the corner of her eyes. “Baby doll..” He cupped Y/N’s cheeks, thumb swiping away a stray tear. “It’s..It’ll be selfish of me to stop you...So I won’t,” She laughed lightly, hands cupping both of Bucky’s rough cheeks and rested her forehead against his. “It’ll be over before you know it. I know you’ll wait for me, Y/N,” Bucky whispered, leaning in slowly until both their lips met in a soft kiss. Y/N returned the kiss, pouring all her emotion and love into it. She didn’t want to let go even though she knew she had to. So she did. Y/N pulled away after a few seconds, pressing one more peck to Bucky’s lips. “I love you..” Y/N confessed. She did. She loved Bucky with all her heart and soul and Bucky felt the same. “I love you too, sweetheart,”

Y/N stepped away, slowly releasing her touch. Bucky stood, stepping into the tube. Steve stood beside Y/N, watching as the Wakandan doctors began the process of freezing. He gave Steve and Y/N one last smile before leaning back, freezing up almost instantly.

Y/N missed him every day.

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Two years. Another two years of waiting for Bucky to awoke from his cryostasis. With Shuri’s help, Y/N worked hard day and night to perfect Bucky’s cure and when a solution was formed, Y/N could not wait to see Bucky.

“You’re sure this will work, right?” Y/N turned to her good friend.

Shuri smiled. “Come on, Y/N. You’ve seen my work, you tell me. I have faith in it and in us,” Y/N laughed nodding, her excitement was visible to the princess. “Two long years without your soulmate was hard, wasn’t it?” Shuri’s eyes were filled with pity but also admiration. She has yet to find her soulmate but every day, without fail, she sees Y/N. The woman went from a sad mess to a strong woman. Shuri assisted the agent with keeping her mind filled and for two years straight, Y/N’s mind was kept off Bucky.

Y/N laughed softly. “Yeah, too long, Shuri. Come on. I want to see him,” She left Shuri’s lab and made her way to the medical wing. Doctors and nurses surrounded the tube, the machine hissing as the defrosting process began. The agent bit her lower lip, standing behind the small crowd of doctors and nurses all on standby to assist with the frozen Super Soldier.

The door hissed opened, heavy mist escaped the tube. Two doctors stepped forward, helping the figure out of the tube. As the mist cleared and the doctors stepped aside, there he stood, looking exactly the same as he was in 2016. James Buchanan Barnes was reawoken, cerulean blue eyes scanning the room.

Y/N felt tears pricked her eyes once more. “Bucky..” She called out, tears falling down her cheeks. Bucky turned to the source of the soft voice, immediately recognizing it. “Y/N…” Bucky hoarsely called out. Y/N ran to Bucky, wrapping her arms around his abdomen, and sobbed into his chest. The woman cried hard, finally reunited with her lover. Bucky was in shock. A good shock. He wrapped his arm around Y/N’s body and leaned down, burying his face deep in his soulmate’s neck.

Shuri approached the couple. “Welcome back, Sergeant Barnes,” She smiled at the reunion. The first broken white boy she was going to fix. Y/N pulled away from the hug, wiping her tears away. “Bucky, this is Shuri. Wakanda’s princess and definitely the smartest person on Earth,” Shuri playfully nudged Y/N’s shoulder.

Y/N cupped Bucky’s cheek. “Babe, listen to me. The doctors are going to run a few checkups on you and when you’re done, I’ll take us home and fill you in on what’s been going on, okay?” Bucky simply nodded, throat too dry to even speak. Y/N stepped away, allowing the doctors to work on her soulmate.

The woman returned after half an hour, Bucky was redressed into more traditional wear. “Doll...God, I missed you,” Bucky pulled Y/N in for a short kiss, their first kiss since 2016. Y/N took Bucky’s hand, fingers intertwined. “I missed you too, Bucky...Too much,” She showed him a sad smile. “Come on. I’ll take you home,” And so she did.

Y/N had been living in a small, peaceful hut just a few minutes away from the main city. She fed him, showered him with affection, and of course, ran him through what has been going on. She mentioned that Steve visits them whenever he could, what’s happening to the world right now and in Wakanda.

Y/N moved to sit beside Bucky on their shared bed, the Super Soldier gave her a handsome smile. “Out of all the things I missed about this world, I missed your smile the most,” Bucky flirted. Y/N gasped softly, gently nudging Bucky’s shoulder. “Ever the gentleman, Mr. Barnes?” “I’m always a gentleman, doll. You just get to see more of that side than anyone else,” Now that made Y/N laugh, a sound Bucky came to love immediately.

Life was peaceful with Bucky. The couple has finally found peace.

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For months, Ayo, Shuri and Y/N have been helping Bucky with his release from HYDRA’s hold.

“Y/N, it’s going to work this time. Trust me,” Shuri watched as Y/N paced up and down her lab, biting her thumb. Ayo had brought Bucky deep into the Wakandan forest, insisting that it was best for this final process of the removal into the woods just in case Bucky reacted to the words and went on massive havoc.

“It’s been almost two hours, Shuri. What if..,” Y/N stopped, shaking her head to shake away the negative thoughts. Footsteps caught Y/N’s attention, her eyes looking towards the lab entrance. Her eyes widened when Ayo and Bucky stepped in. “He is free,” Ayo informed, bowing a little to Shuri. Y/N covered her mouth, gasping at Ayo’s words. Bucky was free. He was free. This means the words had zero effect on the Super Soldier. She approached her lover, noticing the puff under his eyes and the red veins on the whites. “Oh, honey...Come here,” Y/N reached up to her taller lover, hugging him tightly. This was not tears of sadness, no. They were tears of happiness. Finally, The Winter Soldier was no more. Bucky was now James Buchanan Barnes.

“Come on, let’s go home,” The agent turned to Ayo, mouthing a ‘thank you�� before taking the Super Soldier home.

That’s when their life truly took off. Y/N taught Bucky a lot about the world, including the usage of the smartphone. At first, Bucky was hesitant, claiming that he didn’t need to use a smartphone. Now? The Super Soldier was hooked on it. It made Y/N shake her head in amusement.

Apart from the teaching of the modern world, Y/N also spent more time with her soulmate. She took care of him, cooked for him, bathed with him, had some fun with him and Bucky truly knew, from that moment on, that he was devoting his life to his soulmate. Shuri witnessed their moments together, even taking note each time their White Wolf would fall in love with Y/N. She shook her head, smiling before resuming her work on a certain prosthetic arm.

Their happiness lasted for months, of course. Until Y/N spotted four figures walking towards their little home. “Bucky,” She called out softly.

“Hm?” Bucky hummed in response, looking up at his soulmate. Y/N pointed to the four figures. The closer they got, Y/N recognized who it was. “T’Challa,” Y/N greeted with a smile. The King returned the smile as a Wakandan soldier placed down a case. The agent knew what it was. Bucky came over, looking down in the content of the case. He looked at Y/N, who nodded at him. If T’Challa and Okoye were here bringing this asset Shuri was working on, that means something was coming. Something big that needed every hand on deck.

Bucky looked at the King.

“Where’s the fight?” “On its way,” Bucky nodded, moving closer to the arm. “Steve Rogers is on his way,”

“We’ll be there,” The King nodded and left with his guards.

Y/N approached the arm, running her fingers on the golden of the cold arm. A big smile spread on her lips as she closed the case and picked it up. “Come on. I have a surprise for you too,” She took Bucky’s hand, tugging him back to their hut.

“Doll-,” “No, no. I’ve been working on this one. It isn’t much but I know you’ll like it,” Y/N cut her soulmate off before he could say anything. She set the case on the bed, moving to grab another case from under their bed. “Wait, how long has that been there?” Bucky raised an eyebrow. How did he not realize that fairly large box under the bed? Y/N laughed lightly, leaning over to steal a kiss off Bucky’s lips before setting the case beside the arm. “I placed it there when you weren’t looking, of course. You ready?” The Super Soldier nodded. Y/N unlocked the case, pushing the lid up to reveal Bucky’s newest suit. Bucky approached the leather suit, picking it up with his hand. “Doll, this is... This is gorgeous. Thank you,” He set the suit, moving to pick Y/N up by the waist and twirled her around in happiness. The Super Soldier leaned up, kissing his lover softly. “Thank you, doll...What would I be without you?” Bucky set his lover down, keeping his arm secured around her waist and forehead against hers.

Y/N pecked his lips sweetly. “Lost,” She exhaled softly, staying in their intimate position for a few more seconds before pulling away. “Come on. Let’s get dressed,” She pulled away from Bucky, leaving for the bathroom to change into her battle suit.

Y/N stepped out of the bathroom, tying her hair up. She found Bucky flexing his metal fingers, already in a full suit. “My, my, the arm looks good on you, honey,” The agent smiled, running a hand down the prosthetic arm. Bucky was smiling. “I didn’t think I would get another. This one is better than the old one,” She laced their fingers together. Bucky cupped Y/N’s cheek, leaning down for a kiss. “I love you,” She blushed lightly. “I love you too, James. Now, come on. Let’s wait for Steve,” Y/N led Bucky out, walking hand in hand with her lover to the entrance of the palace.

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A quinjet landed in front of T’Challa. The ramp lowered, revealing Steve, Natasha, Bruce, Rhodey, Vision, and Wanda. Steve approached the King.

“Seems like I’m always thanking you for something,” Steve held his hand out, T’Challa took it and shook the blonde’s hand.

“So, how big of an assault should we expect?” T’Challa asked.

“Uh, sir, I think you should expect quite a big assault,” Bruce assisted.

“How we looking?” Natasha looked at the King. T’Challa looked over his shoulder. “You will have my Kingsguard, the Border Tribe, the Dora Milaje, and,” The King gestured to Bucky and Y/N, the couple making their way over to Steve.

“Nat! Wanda!” “Y/N!” The two women ran over to Y/N, hugging her tightly.

“And a semi-stable 100-year old man,” Bucky finished T’Challa’s line with a big smile. Steve moved in to hug his old friend.

“How you been, Buck?” “Uh, not bad, for the end of the world. Been spending a lot more time with Y/N,” Bucky gestured to his soulmate. Y/N pulled away from Natasha and Wanda. “Steve!” Y/N ran over to Steve, pulling the tall blonde in for a hug. “Y/N,” Steve laughed lightly, picking the younger woman up and hugged her tightly. “Been too long, Y/N. We missed you,” The blonde set the agent down on her feet. “Bucky and I missed you guys too. It’s a shame that the only way for us to be reunited is when the end of the world is happening,” Y/N moved to Bucky, holding his hand. Steve nodded at her words. “Sadly, it is,” T’Challa approached the group. “Come. Let’s get to the lab. My sister has been itching to see Vision,” With that, The King and his guards let them to Shuri’s lab.

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Y/N was having a short conversation with Sam, laughing lightly as she watched Sam and Bucky have their usual playful banter when the Falcon noticed something amiss in the sky. Sam tapped into comms. “Hey, Cap, we got a situation here,” Something extraterrestrial had breached the atmosphere and was coming in fast to Wakanda. The object broke into pieces upon impact with the massive protective bubble that protected Wakanda. Y/N flinched a little from the sight of the explosion while Bucky looked in amazement. “God, I love this place,” Bucky mumbled, eyes fixated on the bubble.

Rhodey’s voice came over comms this time. “Yeah, don’t start celebrating yet, guys. We got more incoming outside the dome,” And true enough, more projectiles were approaching. This time, they were aiming to land outside of the protective bubble. Y/N moved close to Bucky as five projectiles managed to land successfully outside of the dome. She squinted her eyes, studying the five. “They look like..transport ships. Or ships in general. These can’t be bombs,” “Whatever the hell they are, Y/N, they mean trouble,” Sam pushed his goggles down, wings spread and ready to fly. Bucky looked over to the side, seeing the team on transport. “Come on. Let’s hitch a ride,” He ran ahead, his soulmate following from behind. -------------------------------------------------------------------

The large Wakandan armies were in formation. Rhodey stood by the front line, Sam was making flybys, Steve, Natasha and T’Challa had gone ahead to negotiate with the enemies. Y/N’s hand slipped into Bucky’s metal hand, both instinctively laced their fingers together. Bucky turned to look at his soulmate and Y/N did the same. “I love you. No matter what happens next,” The Super Soldier leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Y/N’s lips. The agent inhaled deeply, returning the soft kiss before pulling away when Steve returned. “They surrender?” Bucky released Y/N’s hand, eyes forward to the ships. Steve let out a heavy sigh. “Not exactly,”

(Gif credited to the owner)

The five ships began to move, hovering in the air. Loud snarls and heavy footsteps were fast approaching the edge of the dome. Y/N stood her ground, hand gripping her pulse rifle. It was a specially made and specifically designed rifle capable of long-ranged attack and hand-to-hand combat when turned into a spear. Y/N tilted her head, her body fully enclosed in a black vibranium-made suit complete with a headpiece to protect her face. This suit would protect her and best of all, it enhances her movements. The suit itself was black. It had blue streaks and fur around the neck. Kinda like a fur coat but make it extra badass. The helmet had ears, similar to T’Challa’s suit.

Y/N felt eyes on her and found Bucky looking at her with a smirk on his lips. Perks of being best friends with the Princess of Wakanda. All Shuri wanted was for Y/N to be safe during any battles she fought. “Don’t look at me like that,” Y/N pouted under her nanotech helmet. “Can’t help it, Doll. You look good,” Bucky complimented. Y/N playfully nudged Bucky’s side, placing her rifle on her back for now.

The massive hoards of Outriders ran past the trees and towards the dome.

“What the hell?” Bucky cursed under his breath. “Looks like we pissed her off,” Natasha added.

The Outriders piled up against the shield, snarling and growling as they tried to force their way in. Some were sliced in half and those that made it through immediately began charging towards the humans. The Border Tribe held their capes out, invisible shields lined up as the first row of defense.

Y/N stood her ground, getting ready for the attack and knowing that this would be a whole mess of dead aliens and explosions.

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All went well. Y/N felt she was winning until Thanos came and ripped the Mind Stone off Vision’s head. That’s when everything fell. “You should have gone for the head,” Thanos rasped out, snapping his fingers. A bright light and complete silence. When the flash cleared, Thanos was gone. Stormbreaker was on the ground by Thor’s feet. “Where’d he go?” Steve asked no one in particular, a hand on his abdomen. “Thor, where’d he go?” The blonde repeated but The God of Thunder simply kept silent.

“Steve? Y/N?” Bucky called out. Y/N whipped her head to face her lover, his hand was turning into dust.

(Gif credited to the owner)

“NO! BUCKY!” Y/N screamed, running to her lover. Before she could feel his touch one last time, her soulmate disappeared into a pile of dust. The woman froze, some dust settled on her hand. Her heart was racing, her head feeling tight, and her chest hurting. Her body shook, dropping to her knees as her hands brushed against the dust. Tears pricked her eyes, color draining from her vision. Emptiness filled her heart. Y/N had lost Bucky, again. For the third time. Tears fell, trickling down her reddened cheek as she sobbed. She failed to realize others around here were turning to dust as well. T’Challa, Groot, Sam, and half of the population.

“Y/N, hey..Y/N,” Steve called out, moving over to the grieving woman. “Y/N,” She kneeled beside her, arms wrapping around her shaking form. Y/N tried to push Steve away but she knew the next best comfort was from Steve.

Y/N cried hard in Steve’s shoulder, hands gripping the brown shoulder straps. “He...He’s gone, Steve. I..I can’t see colors anymore... He’s gone... Bucky’s gone..,” Y/N wailed, Steve simply kept the crying woman close. He had just lost his best friend and Y/N lost her soulmate. Steve looked up from Y/N’s form, watching as the others, just like Bucky, disappearing into thin ash. That’s when Steve knew that Thanos had won.

Thanos won and there was nothing the Avengers could do.

For now

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Five long years. Five long, hellish years since Y/N lost her soulmate. She had no will to live. After all, her soulmate was dead and so was half of the universe. The first two years, Y/N struggled to cope with Bucky’s death. The smell of his clothes were long gone and the pictures they took together over the course of their relationship buried deep in the agent’s phone. She couldn’t look at them, fearing it would break her further. Natasha and Steve did their best to help Y/N but alas, they were not able to fill the void.

The third year was when Y/N has had enough. She was sick of grieving and had finally accepted the fact that Bucky was never going to come back. So, she contacted Clint and became vigilante partners, taking down those who took advantage of their situation for their own, selfish gains. For the remaining two years, Y/N fought side by side with Clint, now known as Ronin by many. It was just Ronin and Shadow. Until Natasha found them.

(Gif credited to the owner)

It was a painful reunion with the Avengers, especially with Tony. Seeing the man in such a malnourished state broke Y/N’s heart but Tony wasn’t angry at her. Hell, he missed the woman. Despite what’s going on with the world, time has been kind to her. Y/N assumed she was done after the reunion until Steve told her about their big plan. Something about Scott coming back from this Quantum Realm and Tony using Scott’s theory on Quantum Realm to create time travel. Y/N, of course, agreed to this plan. It was a chance to finally get the world, to get Bucky back altogether. She was not to let this opportunity pass. And so, the team went their separate ways. Scott, Bruce, Tony and Steve. Rocket and Thor. Nebula and Rhodey. Natasha, Clint, and Y/N.

Of course, with every major decision, a sacrifice has to be made.

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When everyone returned, there was excitement on everyone’s face except Clint and Y/N’s. Clint dropped to his knees and Y/N did the same, hands on her lap with head hung low. This pulled everyone’s attention to the two. “Clint, where’s Nat?” Bruce asked. Clint simply kept silent, lip quivering and a growing lump in his throat. That reaction itself was enough to inform the others of Natasha’s sacrifice. Y/N looked up at Steve, eyes red and teary but somehow, tears refused to fall. She knew Natasha wouldn’t want to see Y/N crying so she forced herself to be strong. It felt like Bucky all over. Natasha had been with her through thick and thin. Y/N inhaled sharply, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands before calming down. There was still much work to be done.

The Avengers stood in a circle around Bruce. The Gauntlet was ready, stones in place. Everyone was suited up, Y/N’s helm enclosed her face. Enforced doors began closing on Tony’s command. “Everybody comes home..” Bruce mumbled. He slipped his hand into the Gauntlet, the nano techs formed perfectly around his fist. As soon as the Gauntlet was on Bruce, power surged through his arm. Bruce groaned in pain, immediately taking a knee and held his right arm. Even with the power of the Hulk, it was not enough to contain the raw power of all six Infinity Stones. The power was burning through Bruce’s arm.

“Take it off, take it off!” Thor urged.

“No, wait. Bruce, are you okay?” Steve stepped in. Bruce groaned.

“Talk to me, Banner, “ It was Tony’s turn to talk. “I’m okay,” Bruce forced out, the burn was up to his shoulder. He yelled in pain, raising his fist up and finally snapped. A bright flash and Bruce was on the floor, the Gauntlet slipped from his destroyed arm.

“Bruce!” Steve rushed over to Bruce. Clint kicked the Gauntlet away.

“Don’t move him,” Steve instructed. Tony administered some medicine on Bruce’s arm, to cool off the burn.

“Did it work?” Bruce panted out. “We’re not sure. It’s okay,” Thor replied. The enforced doors opened. Scott noticed the green was back and so did Y/N but that was not why she followed him. She trailed Scott quietly, something wasn’t right. The birds were chirping and the greenery were lively. “Scott?” Y/N moved a hand to his arm. “Guys,” Scott whispered, lips shakily forming into a smile. “I think it worked,”

The next thing Y/N knew, she was blasted backwards with Scott, something had hit them upon impact. More and more projectiles aimed for The Compound, destroying the buildings into pieces. Y/N screamed as she tried to grab onto a broken ledge. She finally caught one and let out a sigh of relief. Y/N groaned, pulling herself up. Thank god for her Vibranium suit. She noticed she was alone. “Scott?! Scott?!” She screamed out. “I’m okay!” Scott replied. Y/N let out a sigh of relief. “Mayday, mayday, does anybody copy?” Rhodey’s voice came on comms.

“We’re on the lower level. It’s flooding!” Y/N gasped. Was Rhodey alone? Y/N hoped not. “Rhodey, I’m on my way. Scott! Get down there ASAP,” Y/N made her way down to the lower levels, moving fast to rescue her teammates.

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The flooding was intense. Y/N’s suit struggled a little to keep up but it was still holding strong. “Rhodey, hang on! Scott and I are on our way!” She spoke through comms, dodging debris and crawling through tunnels, climbing down to reach the lowest level. Y/N heard panting. “Rhodey!” She screamed out, jumping into the water. Scott had just arrived as well, back to his original size.

Rhodey was underwater and was losing water fast. That’s when he spotted something behind Scott. His Iron Patriot suit amongst the debris. Rhodey made some noise, gesturing to the suit. Y/N turned to where Rhodey was pointing and quickly made his way to the suit. She grabbed the heavy hunk of armor, bringing it over to Rhodey. The suit recognized its user and opened up, Y/N assisted the older man into the suit. Once enclosed, the water was drained and Rhodey could breathe.

“Rocket!” Rhodey held his arms up, thrusters lit up underwater to push the debris up for breathable space. Y/N grabbed Rocket, the alien Raccoon coughed hard, spitting out water. “Hey! Guys!” Bruce strained out. “Little help here?”

Scott tapped on his arm. “On it. Y/N, hold onto Rocket and Bruce. Rhodey, stick close to me,” The three moved on Scott’s instruction. Y/N held tight onto Bruce and Rocket.

On perfect cue, the rubble began moving hard. Scott grew in size, punching through the heavy debris easily. He set Bruce, Rhodey, Rocket and Y/N down. Y/N’s eyes grew wide in size at the massive army Thanos had and... Steve had? That’s when she noticed color pouring into her vision again and she gasped. There was...Bucky...Bucky was back!

Y/N struggled to find her lover amongst the army of Wakandans and Sorcerers and allies alike. She stood her ground by Bruce.

(Gif credited to the owner)

“Avengers...Assemble,” Steve spoke through gritted teeth. T’Challa yelled and it was go time.

Armies clashed together. Explosions, bodies flying, and bloodshed. It was utter chaos. Y/N clawed her way through the Outriders, fighting alongside Hope and M’Baku. She yelled in anger, slicing down each feral alien with her claws until her back touched with another. She turned, ready to attack but froze when a familiar metal arm shone under the light. Bucky turned as well, aiming his rifle at the figure behind him but froze. Y/N’s helm revealed her face.

“B-Bucky,” She whimpered. “Doll,” Y/N jumped on Bucky, hugging her soulmate tightly with her face buried in his neck. Bucky dropped his gun, strong arms wrapped around his lover’s waist and held onto her tightly. Y/N didn’t want to let go, so very terrified that this was all a dream. An explosion nearby snapped the woman back to reality and that assured her that all of this was definitely not a dream.

Y/N slowly let go of Bucky, pulling away slightly. Their eyes meet, hands held onto one another tightly. “Bucky, I-,” “No, No. Don’t say it’s your fault. It isn’t,” Bucky cuts his lover off, a hand on his cheek. Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. She pulled Bucky down for a kiss, a kiss filled with emotion, love, and pain. A kiss between two lost souls. It was like a twisted magical moment. Death and explosion surrounded the scene as they kissed. Y/N pulled away slightly. “I love you...I love you..” Y/N chanted. Bucky broke into a handsome smile. “I love you too,” The Super Soldier leaned down, stealing a kiss off his soulmate’s lips.

“Hey! A little help here?” Rocket grumbled, blasting a jumping Outrider out of the sky with his dual blaster. Y/N pulled away completely from Bucky, grabbing her lover’s gun off the ground, and eased up the Outriders closing in on their position. She let out a sigh of relief, handing the rifle back to Bucky. “Let’s back into the fight, honey,” Y/N’s helm formed around her face again, running off to ease up the alien traffic.

It was a big fight indeed. Shots from Thanos’s ship rained down on the battlefield, sending his own troops and the heroes flying from the impact. Y/N groaned, landing beside Wanda. When the shooting stopped, Y/N looked up to the sky with everyone else. “What the hell..” Bright light forced its way through Thanos’s ship, cannons whirring down as the ship was rendered useless, breaking apart from the effective attack. Y/N turned to Wanda and nodded, running over to the bright light that landed by Peter. He handed the Gauntlet to Carol, noticing the large army of troops running towards the two.

“I don’t know how you’re gonna get it through all of that,” Peter looked up at Carol.

Wanda and Valkyrie landed by the blonde woman. Okoye approached Peter, gripping her spear. “Don’t worry,” Wanda assured.

“She’s got help,” Okoye continued. Pepper landed in front of Peter, Mantis, Shuri, and Y/N joined in with the stand. Hope grew back up to size, Gamora and Nebula by her side as the women approached the army. Both parties clash with Carol making her way towards the van. The others stayed back to reduce the large army down to size. Y/N effortlessly clawed down the Outriders, jumping on their backs to get to the Chitauri Gorilla towering over the heroes. The Gorilla roared in pain, falling dead with Y/N standing on its back. She caught Bucky looking at her from far, a proud look on his face. Y/N smiled under her helm, jumping off the dead alien, and ran to assist the other heroes.

Outriders after Outriders, it seemed endless. Y/N was thrown back by a Gorilla, her back hitting against some debri. “Y/N!” Shuri screamed for her, the Gorilla charging for the woman. She waited for the impact. Bright light and the impact never came. Y/N opened her eyes, the Gorilla had turned to ash. Immediately, she scrambled up to her feet and looked around to find the Outriders and Leviathans turning to ash. Who snapped the Gauntlet? Y/N rushed over to higher ground, looking around. Her eyes spotted Thanos’s form, disappearing and...Tony. “Tony!” Y/N screamed, horror-filled her eyes as she jumped off the debris and made a run towards the man.

Tony stumbled to the side, his left arm shriveled and burned from the snap. ‘It’s the only way,’ Tony repeated mentally. His legs gave way, the man leaned against the rock. His heart slowed, vision blurred. The heroes heard Y/N’s scream, following the frantic woman. Rhodey landed in front of Tony, faceplate retract. He approached the dying man, kneeling by him.

A comforting hand cupped the side of Tony’s head, both men shared a smile as Peter landed and Y/N skidded to a halt by the teenage boy. Her own helm retracted tears in her eyes.

“Mr. Stark. Hey!” Peter was breathing shakily, moving to Tony. “Mr. Stark, can you hear me? It’s Peter,”

Y/N dropped to her knees beside the teenage boy, taking Tony’s hand. He was like a father to her. She loved him and Y/N knew Tony loved her like a daughter. Tony turned to both of them, his grip was light on Y/N’s hand. He had so much to say to both of them and to Pepper too but life was slipping from him. “We won, Mr. Stark,”

Y/N nodded, tears spilling. “We won, dad... We won,” Y/N sobbed out.

“Y/N…” Tony whispered, giving her hand a light squeeze to try and comfort her.

“We won, Mr Stark,” Peter repeated, Y/N was hunched over and crying. Pepper held Peter’s arm, helping the boy stand up. Y/N knew Pepper was a strong woman. The older woman moved a hand to Y/N’s shoulder, rubbing it gently before facing her dying husband. “Hey,” Pepper whispered. Tony moved a little to look at his wife.

“Hey, Pep,” Tony mumbled. His hand moved over to Pepper’s hand over his chest.

“Friday?” Pepper called out. “Life functions critical,” The AI responded.

Tony looked at Pepper and Y/N, giving them a short smile. Y/N was shaking hard, trying her very hardest to not let the dam break. “Tony? Look at me,” Pepper urged and the man did so. He groaned weakly. The pain was all he felt. “We’re going to be okay,” Pepper assured. Tony felt his breathing becoming shallow, wheezing lightly. “You can rest now,” The blonde woman stroked Tony’s head lightly. The wheezing stopped and the grip on Y/N’s hand was now non-existent. Pepper hung her head, the light of the arc reactor disappeared. Y/N leaned forward, wailing hard on Tony’s arm. Peter wiped his tears, a shaky gasp escaped him to find the other heroes kneeling for Tony.

(Gif credited to the owner)

Bucky was the first to move, approaching his broken lover. His hands held her shoulder, helping her to stand and turned her to face him. The Super Soldier pulled Y/N into a tight hug, her arms moved around his waist as she cried into Bucky’s shoulder.

Tony’s sacrifice was not to be forgotten by anyone, especially to the rest of the world. What he did that day marks him as the greatest hero the world got. Tony possessed something many don’t have: the courage to sacrifice for the greater good.

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The funeral was held privately in the comforts of Tony’s property. Happy, Pepper, Rhodey, Morgan, Y/N, Thor, and Steve had gathered in the living room of the home. One of the Iron Man helmets was set on the table, projecting a hologram of Tony. “Everybody wants a happy ending, right? But it doesn’t always roll that way. Maybe this time,” The hologram began. Y/N looked down at a photo she held. It was an old photo of her and Tony in his old Malibu home, Tony had an arm around Y/N’s shoulder as she held her first piece of tech made under the older man’s supervision.

“I’m hoping if you play this back, it’s in celebration. I hope families are reunited. I hope we get it back. And something like a normal version of the planet has been restored. If there ever was such a thing. God, what a world. Universe, now,” The hologram continued. That statement made the group smile. Ever the joker.

“If you told me 10 years ago we weren’t alone, let alone to this extent, I mean, I-I wouldn’t be surprised but come on, who knew? The epic forces of darkness and light have come into play. And for better or worse, that’s the reality Morgan’s gonna have to find a way to grow up in,” The hologram paused for a short second. Morgan perked up at the mention of her name, looking at Pepper.

“So, I thought I’d probably better record a little greeting in the case of an untimely death. On my part. Not that death at any time isn’t untimely. This time travel thing that we’re gonna try and pull off tomorrow, it’s got me scratching my head about the survivability of it all. That’s the thing,” The hologram held his hand out as he spoke. “Then again, that’s the hero gig, right? Part of the journey is the end,” Y/N took notice of Morgan moving closer to Pepper.

“What am I even tripping for? Everything is gonna work out exactly the way it’s supposed to. And Y/N, if you see this, for God’s sake, kid, follow your heart. Remember what old Tony taught you, yeah?” The hologram moved, getting off the chair and moved to the helmet. The hologram--No, Tony leaned down, eyes in Morgan’s direction.

“I love you, 3,000,” One last smile and the recording shuts off.

(Gif credited to owner)

Y/N didn’t realize this was the closer she needed. The heroes had gathered outside of the cabin, all dressed in black in accordance with the funeral. Y/N stood beside Bucky, lacing their fingers together. As the bouquet of flowers, along with Tony’s old arc reactor floated away, Y/N had moved and stood by Steve, watching in sadness.

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Eventually, it was time for everyone to part ways. However, there’s one last thing left to do...

“Remember, you have to return the stones to the exact moment you got ‘em or you’re gonna open up a bunch of nasty alternative realities,” Bruce explained. Steve nodded, closing up the case. “Don’t worry, Bruce. Clip all the branches,” “You know, I tried. When I had the Gauntlet, the stones, I tried to bring her back,” Bruce looked at Steve. “I miss her, man,” “Me too,” Steve nodded. Bucky and Y/N stood by the machine as Sam walked the blonde to it. “You know, if you want, I could come with you,” Sam offered.

Steve turned to him with a smile. “You’re a good man, Sam. This one’s on me, though,” Steve turned to Bucky and Y/N, approaching the couple. “Don’t do anything stupid till I get back,”

Bucky broke into a smile. “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you,” Bucky replied, moving to pull Steve in for a hug. He knew this was it.

(Gif credited to the owner)

“Gonna miss you, buddy,” “It’s gonna be okay, Buck,”

Steve pulled away from the hug, turning to Y/N.

“You take care of him, okay? Take care of one another,” Steve moved in and pulled Y/N into a hug. The woman didn’t think too deeply into Steve’s words. It was just a piece of advice, right? Y/N pulled away from the hug. “You know I will, Steve,” The blonde gave her a smile and moved up to the platform. The machine whirred up to live, the white suit covered Steve’s body.

Sam turned to Bruce. “How long is this gonna take?”

“For him, as long as he needs. For us, five seconds,”

Steve picked up Mjolnir. “You ready, Cap?” Steve nodded.

“Alright, we’ll meet you back here, okay?” Bruce looked down at the switches.

“You bet,” Steve replied, the helm covered his head.

He gave Bucky, Sam, and Y/N one more look.

“Going quantum. Three..two..one,” And Steve was gone.

“And returning in five..four..three..two..one,” Nothing. Bruce furrowed his brows, flicking a few switches.

“Where is he?” Sam asked. “I don’t know. He blew right by his timestamp. He should be here,” Bruce replied.

Bucky turned to walk off but stopped when he noticed a familiar figure in the distance.

“Bucky, what-” Y/N turned to the figure.

“Sam,” Bucky called out. Sam turned to the Super Soldier, stopping his urging with Bruce. He stood beside Bucky, eyes on the figure. The three approached the man and the closer they got to him, the more familiar he got.

“Go ahead,” Sam turned to Bucky. The Falcon walked over to Steve, Y/N watched as their interaction unfolded. She took Bucky’s hand, the couple looked at one another.

“You knew he wasn’t coming back, didn’t you?” That’s when it hit her. Steve hinted to her and she didn’t know. Bucky held onto his soulmate’s hand lightly, nodding. “Yeah... He deserves to be happy. Just like how I’m happy with you,” The Super Soldier leaned down, kissing Y/N’s lips softly.

“Five years, Bucky,” “I know, baby. I know. Nothing like that’s going to happen again. I promise you this,”

Y/N moved her arms around Bucky’s neck, embracing her soulmate tightly with the Super Soldier’s nose buried in her neck.

What happened for the past nine years was done. There was no changing it. Y/N has suffered just as much as Bucky did. How many times has Y/N lost her lover? How long did it take for destiny to bring two lost souls together again? Never again will the event of the blip happen again. Right now, Y/N Y/L/N treasured every moment she had with James Buchanan Barnes.

After all, they were soulmates.

2nd A/N: I am also accepting request. I know I put a lot of gifs in but I love gifs >:))

#bucky barns x y/n #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fic #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #bucky barns fanfiction #bucky barns x reader #bucky barns imagine #Sebastian Stan

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wherethewordsare · 4 years ago

Text

Birds of a Feather

For @notsafeformurphy who was having a day of it the other day and we got to talking and.... oops this happened. This honestly started out as a nature docu au and ended up a coffee shop au? Idk man.... Anyway, Shay I hope you enjoy this!

Also tagging @herostag since it was requested. and @jaskierswolf cause I think they’re gonna start yelling at me if i keep forgetting. Going to try to get my tag list back together if anyone is interested. <3 <3 <3 Hope yall enjoy Jaskier huffed as he flopped over again, his body refusing to just relax down into his mattress and let him sleep. It had been a stressful day and to make matters worse, it had been the third night in a row where he was simply unable to sleep.

Giving up, he reached for his phone, scrolling through youtube for a moment, looking for something that he could just zone out to for a little while. Usually he would put on music or white noise but even that didn’t seem like it would be helpful. He had to find something extremely dull and maybe a bit pretty.

He scrolled past a thumbnail of three large men in park uniforms. Two of them looked like they were at least somewhat interested in being there while one tall man with near white hair simply scowled at the camera.

Wild Wednesdays with the Rivia Nature Reserve the title read.

“Okay, I’ll bite,” Jaskier huffed as he rolled onto his stomach. He pulled the kickstand of his phone case out and set it up before pressing play and curling his arms around his pillow.

“This week, we’ll be talking to Geralt Rivia, our resident raptor specialist about what goes into rehabilitation efforts when it comes to conservation,” someone said off camera, cheerily. When the camera panned to Geralt Rivia however, he did not seem to share the narrator’s same upbeat tone.

For a few minutes, the narrator off camera seemed to try to ask Geralt about himself, only getting stilted answers and that same scowl that had been in the thumbnail. Jaskier snorted with a smirk.

“You’re not having any of this, are you? You’re gorgeous though,” he chuckled. He felt his back relax as he yawned, snuggling closer into his pillow.

And then it happened. From off camera, someone handed Geralt a leather glove that he put on easily before taking a cord. He clicked a bit and the scowl he had moments ago melted into a fond smile.

“And who is this?” the narrator asked. They clearly had picked up on the shift in Geralt’s demeanor as a small falcon took up perch on his forearm.

He actually cooed at the bird for a moment before holding it up for the camera. “This is Roach. She’s one of our recent rescues.” He smiled, a barely there tilt of his lips and his honey colored eyes softened. Jaskier got the impression on anyone else, it would have been a full grin.

“Oh, I like that look,” Jaskier murmured, feeling his cheeks heat up.

“And what is Roach?” the person asked off camera.

Geralt took a step back, turning his arm slightly, causing the bird to flap agitatedly at him as she kept her balance. “Yes, I know, but I have to show off how pretty you are,” he said to the bird, fond and warm.

“Oh no,” Jaskier whispered into his pillow. “He’s soft and hot.”

“Roach here is a red-tailed hawk. They’re pretty common through North America,” he explained, pointing out the red-brown of her tail. The hawk nipped at him as he got her to open her wings for the camera and he only chuckled. “She’s about six, the same age as my daughter actually. And,” he leaned in conspiratorially, “I’ll be honest with you, I’m not sure which one is less well behaved.”

Roach must have understood a bit of that because she gave a cry before nipping at Geralt’s hair, clearly annoyed.

“Listen, if you weren’t so hornery, I wouldn’t say it,” he said to Roach, pulling another scowl but there was clearly no heat in it.

This was not the same man from the thumbnail or the same man that barely gave answers about himself at the beginning of the clip. When that bird sat on his arm, he lit up and Jaskier was weak.

Geralt answered a few other questions about hawks and about the reserves program for rehabbing hawks, his voice deep and gravely. He would have sounded gruff if not for how much he clearly loved what he did.

Geralt looked at Roach a little sadly. “Unfortunately for our little lady here, she won’t be able to return to the wild. Due to her injuries when she came to us, she won’t be able to hunt on her own,” he gave her a soft smile before he petted down her neck gently.

Jaskier’s eyes were starting to feel heavy. He had turned into the pillow, letting Geralt’s voice wash over him with simple facts about red-tail hawks as he drifted off to sleep. It hadn’t been dull at all but there was something about the way Geralt spoke that just melted him into his mattress.

When he woke, his phone was dead, probably from being set to autoplay. As it charged, he looked at the videos that had played while he was asleep, most of them from the Rivia Nature Reserve. There were a few specials with other team members but Jaskier picked out the ones that mentioned Geralt Rivia directly.

It had become a near routine and soon, Jaskier found that he just slept better after watching those nature clips. Sometimes, Geralt wasn’t even on camera, simply walking through the process of population counting for the reserve as the camera panned around to different birds up in the trees. There were other videos featuring Roach the red-tailed hawk as well and it was clear that she was a favorite, not only of Geralt’s but the viewers as well.

Within three weeks, Jaskier had made his way through nearly the whole catalog of the reserve’s videos. He knew he would move on from tall, silver and brooding and find his next sleep fix but for now he simply enjoyed it.

He should have said no, he should have mentioned that he simply did not do morning shifts, and there was a reason for that, but Essi had been persistent, almost feral about him taking her shift.

“Please, Jask. I promise, you won’t regret it!” She grinned at him and there was something in her eyes that sent up a dozen red flags.

“What are you plotting?” He asked flatly, squinting at her over his glass of wine.

“Not a thing, darling, just trust me on this,” she giggled, sipping her own wine neatly.

It hadn’t been a terrible morning, though Jaskier was barely managing to stay upright by the the coffee grinder. He was used to staying up long nights and it hadn’t changed anything when he knew he would have to open.

His phone buzzed in his pocket.

I know you mentioned he had a kid, but he’s single. You’re gonna want to put a blueberry muffin in right now.

He blinked at his phone, squinting as he tried to decode just what the fuck Essi was saying.

What?

But he put in the blueberry muffin, his phone on the counter as he watched the three little dots dance where Essi was texting back.

You still owe me a no questions.

“What the fuck is she even-” Jaskier heard the bell above the door just as he set the timer for the oven.

“-and so I tell him that if he isn’t going to at least make an attempt to clear out the back trails, we’re going to find a new contractor.” Came a voice behind him.

Jaskier froze, his hand on his phone. He nearly threw it in a panic. He recognized that voice. He’d recognize that voice in the dark, though to be fair, he usually listened to it in the dark.

He glanced over his shoulder and sure enough, Geralt Rivia was standing at his counter with two others from the nature reserve.

“Be with you in just a minute!” he tried for cheery and landed firmly in panicked. He ducked behind the large coffee machine and shot a text back to Essi.

I haven’t decided on whether or not I love you more than anything or if I’m ever going to

speak to you again!

Have fun! ;)

That bitch. It had been a setup! He adored her, the meddling little sneak. He schooled his face the best he could, knowing full well that his ears were still the color of the strawberry frap they served.

“Morning, what can I get you guys?” He asked as he wet his lips, trying not to stare right into Geralt’s gorgeous face.

“Three coffees, a blueberry muffin warmed up and a plain bagel, untoasted,” Geralt said offhandedly as he looked around. “No Essi today?”

“Uh, no. I’m filing in this morning. Jaskier, at your service.” As he dipped his head in a mock bow he internally cursed himself. One day, one normal day, that was all he asked for. “Hope the bagel isn’t for Roach. I’m not sure she’d like it. How is she? We haven’t seen her much recently?” He shot off without thinking as he started to pour the coffees. He froze again as his brain caught up with his mouth.

Behind Geralt, both of the men snorted. “Looks like you’ve got a fan, pretty boy,” the darker haired one jostled Geralt’s shoulder with a smirk.

Geralt only stood there, tilting his head slightly as though he wasn’t sure what had just happened.

“Ah, I mean…” Jaskier fumbled, nearly spilling one of the coffees down his own front.

“She’s doing fine actually,” there was a soft smile on his face, the same he wore when he got to handle the birds directly and Jaskier could feel himself melt on the spot. “Naughty as ever. Learned a new trick to take a swipe at Lambert here if he’s holding the feed bucket,” there was a low rumble of a chuckle.

The dark haired one behind Geralt stopped laughing abruptly. “She’s a menace.” He growled, picking up his own coffee from the counter.

Behind Jaskier, the oven dinged. “Oh and your muffin!” He turned, letting himself have the moment his back was to them to silently scream. He had been tricked! He had been set up! He was going to try to get this man’s number and he would never hear the end of it.

“You already had it in?” Geralt asked, that smile still in place.

“What can I say, we make sure to take care of our favorite customers.” He was almost proud of himself at how smoothly that had come out as he turned to look back at Geralt. He should have been paying attention to the muffin as it dropped, missing the bag completely and splatting on the floor.

“Fuck,” Jaskier nearly cried. “I am so sorry. Give me, just a moment, I’ll get another one in for you.”

He watched as Geralt ducked his head, smirking. “Would you like to meet her?” He gave another tilt of his head, his eyes clearly looking Jaskier up and down.

He was sure he had died. This wasn’t real. This was the good place. Or the bad place. Either way, this place was the place his soul had clearly left his body. He stood there, cold muffin in hand as he gaped at Geralt.

“Uh-”

“You don’t,” Geralt cleared his throat, “I was just wondering since you seemed… to be a… fan.” His face slipped into a scowl and no. No that wouldn’t do at all.

“I would love to, yeah. I’m off at three?”

“Oh! Jaskier! Thank you for coming in to open. I can take it from here,” Essi slipped in beside him, taking the muffin from his hand. “Morning, Dr. Rivia,” she nearly sang, her face smug.

“Dead. You’re very very dead when I see you again,” Jaskier whispered to her though he couldn’t stop grinning.

“So you were saying?” Geralt asked, leaning against the counter.

“Turns out, I’m free as a bird, you’d say.” Jaskier chuckled as he slipped his apron off and made his way around the counter.

Geralt snorted and rolled his eyes but took his coffee and muffin from Essi. “You know that phrase ‘eat like a bird’ is really not that good of a way of saying that someone doesn’t eat much?”

Behind them, Lambert scoffed. “Here we fucking go again. I said I was sorry for bringing it up!”

Later that afternoon he found himself wearing a glove similar to the one he had first seen Geralt in, a small tawny owl bobbing on his arm as he looked on in wonder. He had met Roach and she had nipped at his hair and shirt, screeching when food wasn’t produced.

“Hmm, let’s get Scorpion. He won’t tear you to shreds,” Geralt gave Roach a fond little tap on her wing with the back of his fingers.

By the end of the day he left with a few knicks in his fingers and a phone number. He had never slept better.

#geraskier #modern #ecologist geralt #cause always #roach is a hawk #meet cute #jaskier is a disaster #but we love him anyways #witcher fanfiction #this is... a mess #and i am so sorry

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joontier · 3 years ago

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Subliminal in Scrubs | V2; report xii

pairings: dr. jeon jungkook x female reader

chapter rating: PG-15 | genre: humor, workplace relationships

warnings: none to note

word count: 2.6k

g/n: jungkook is a brat wbk; also,,, hoseok here is supposedly as old as seokjin heh i had an internal debate whether or not i should include two other scenes but aslkdfjkasljfas but i ended up with this instead skjff hope yall enjoy!!

[taglist]: @nottodayjjk @ditttiii @zeharilisharaban @btsbunny07 @turquoiseandplaidinautumn @aamxxrii @codeinebelle @btsmakesmehappy @stargukkie @moonchild1

Subliminal in Scrubs (the records) | navi. | m.list

The orientation went by like a breeze with Ms. Narae’s quick run throughs of Woocheon’s clinical processes and systems, training programs, hospital expectations, and the explanation of the rest of the map of the hospital you weren’t able to cover during your tour earlier. Before she wraps up, she retrieves your IDs from underneath the table and places them on top of the desk for everyone to get later. She dismisses the orientation exactly ten minutes before twelve, requesting everyone to head straight to their department’s on-call room after the break.

Soomin, who you’ve recently discovered to have her own Youtube channel, takes out her phone and records a video. You watch from the side as Soomin does her thing, until she tries to call you all over and officially introduce you as good friends turned work colleagues to all her subscribers.

You hadn’t really expected this whole vlogger thing from her, especially when Soomin was a bit reserved when you were first acquainted with each other, but then again, as your friendship grew, you realized that she had a bit of Chohee in her as well and you thought that’s what caused you to gravitate towards her naturally.

“Anybody up for lunch?” Soomin asks, rubbing her hands together after she finishes her short recording and tucks her phone back in her pocket. “Yeah, I’m starving...” you murmur, placing a hand on your belly as you hear your stomach grumble its complaint.

“I heard Woocheon is known to have the best hospital food in Korea. Ever.” Jungkook says, looking around. You’re starting to get skeptical about how Jungkook is lingering around Jimin...Or was it the other way around now? “Shall we?” With Jungkook’s undeniable proposition, Soomin briefly glances at your reluctant face, her own lips pursing with your reaction. “Fine,” you sigh.

There’s no getting rid of Jungkook now.

Woocheon’s cafeteria...does not look like a cafeteria at all.

You weren’t expecting an...urban haven of some sort, a portion of the hospital that you had least envisioned to what seems to be the warmest part of Woocheon. The laminated flooring, faux wooden grain wall panels, along with the suspended lights from this wave-like uneven wooden ceiling - it was as picturesque as a spread on an interior design magazine.

The interior could easily outrival any other kitchen in the city. “Are you sure this is not some hotel we just walked into?” Jimin questions as he marvels over the sleek urban design of the cafeteria. There’s even a café - which you recognize holds the same logo as Good Day café. You ought to confirm this with Jimin later.

As you near the serving area, the unmistakable aroma of roast beef fills your senses, making you hungrier than you were just seconds before. “Please don’t tell me Woocheon is actually serving roast beef...”

You practically salivate at the sight of the food in the counters, a lot of which you realized were influenced by western food culture. There were three different kinds of salad to choose from, baked potatoes, burgers, seafood stew, stir-fried meat, as well as the Korean classic side dishes that you’d never miss in a meal. And, true to your trusty sense of smell, roast beef was at the end of the line up in all its roasted glory.

“Yeap,” Soomin says as she turns to face you, “You have three options for the sauce too: mushroom gravy, pepper sauce, or truffle sauce,” Soomin replies matter-of-factly, pointing at the farther end of the food counter.

“Oh I love this place already!” Exclaims Jimin who’s undecided between eating to his heart’s content and risking a stomachache on the first day of work, or sacrifice half of the dishes for a later time in your stay at Woocheon. Thankfully, Jimin decides on the former.

“Make sure you have your IDs ready,” Jungkook announces as he joins the line after you. “You’ll have to tap it against this tiny device then they will automatically deduct the total amount of the food you got from your account.”

Jimin’s face falls instantly at the realization. Jungkook claps the other man’s back, face crumpled as he keeps his laughter in. “Still love this place, Jimin-ssi? Don’t worry now, the three of us can pretend we didn’t hear anything at all.”

With features forlorn, Soomin makes a hilarious attempt to appease Jimin’s disappointment by stating facts - “Jimin-ah. Hospital food isn’t free.”

“Yeah. I realize that now,” Jimin replies, an ingenuine smile playing on his lips.

“Cheer up though! Ms. Narae did mention faculty and staff get a five percent discount on all hospital services...just so happened that they included the cafeteria there as well.”

Albeit reluctant about the price, Soomin manages to convince your entire group to try out the roast beef for once (and probably your last too. Figures.) “Oh, and by the way, there is one thing that’s free actually. It’s the drink of the day - free for all staff. One each, and available during lunch only.”

Your eyes travel to the end of the counter straight away at Soomin’s reminder. Calculating the number of cartons left and the people left in the queue, you’re beyond pleased at the fact that you’ll be able to get a free 250ML carton of banana milk today, and also the last person to do so.

Unfortunately for you, a staff member returns to the counter and retrieves a tetra pack, claiming it was for a senior doctor who forgot to claim the drink. Much to your dismay, a middle-aged man in a white coat was waving to the counter, with his other hand pointing to his tray to prove that he really wasn’t able to take any milk with him. You can’t hide the scowl that creeps on your face.

Through your peripheral vision, you notice Jungkook closely monitoring the milk as well, the same look of disappointment evident on his face. Maybe losing the milk wasn’t that bad. After all, if you couldn’t one, Jungkook wouldn’t be able to score one either.

While Jimin checks out his food, one of the kitchen staff suddenly retrieves another carton from the other side of the counter, mumbling about how it must’ve fallen over earlier. You were just about to grab it when the lady at the till calls you next, and you’re forced to move your tray sideward so she can calculate the total amount of your order.

When you look up to grab your free drink, Jungkook reaches out at the same time and manages to snatch the milk quicker than you. “Hey!” Jungkook simply shrugs his shoulders at your indignant tone. “Sorry darling, finders keepers.”

You stare at him in disbelief, until the lady calls for Jungkook next, a little too loud for your liking. Your eyeroll comes almost involuntarily, and you shake your head as you follow where Jimin and Soomin were headed to as they look for a seat.

Jungkook arrives shortly after you do, so you immediately lose the chance to rant about your annoyance towards the latter. He decides to sit across you and you don’t have the chance to complain about it either when he sticks the straw in his milk while he smirks at you.

What an actual kid.

You promised yourself you won’t let him get to you, choosing inner peace over fighting with a brat. Besides, two can play at this game, and it’s going to take more than a small carton of milk for him to truly vex you, so you simply smile at him back, returning the favor (of course, while secretly wishing he might choke on his banana milk too).

“Would you guys mind if I recorded a little bit?” Murmurs of agreement are heard across the table. “Alrightey then,” says Soomin, “This time, none of you boys will be able to escape the camera this time around.” Just as you’d expected, Jimin and Jungkook whine in chorus, vocally expressing their petulance towards Soomin’s ‘vloggering’.

“Hey! For all you know, you two might even bring more subscribers when I put you two as my thumbnail!”

“I’m shy…” Jimin argues as he poorly covers his face with his small ID, yet continues to peek through the small gap between the card and the lanyard.

Soomin rolls her eyes at their childishness and records her food first, praising how surprisingly appetizing the hospital food is. She proceeds to pan the camera towards you as you say hi for the second time today. As Soomin moves onto Jimin, he instantly puts his ID down and waves at the camera sporting a cute smile. “Everyone, this is what ‘camera shy’ looks like nowadays.”

On the other hand, Jungkook, shameless as ever, pretends to not pay any regard to the camera but he decides to chew on his food with much suave, jaw tightening with every bite of the beef. Soomin calls on Jungkook to say hi, to which he responds by introducing himself and punctuating his statement with a flirty wink.

For some reason, you feel your stomach drop at the action, causing you to look away momentarily while Soomin instantaneously switches back to her front camera, “Okay, everyone, let’s just pretend these two weren’t flirting with the camera just now.” Soomin shakes her head at the two, deciding that was enough content about lunch at the hospital cafeteria.

“Shame the camera couldn’t handle it,” Jimin says, pouting as he places a hand over his chest.

“Maybe it was the lady behind the camera that couldn’t,” adds Jungkook who continues to wink, alternating both his eyes before making a weird face.

“Okay Jeon. I think that’s enough winking for today.”

Jungkook wouldn’t stop though and Soomin finally looks at you for help, “Diagnosis: winkitis, ophthalmologist recommends immediate enucleation.”

“Of course! How could I forget? A wink for this young lady over here too.” Jungkook turns to you now but you simply squint your eyes at him as you fake choking on thin air, “I think I might have lost my appetite altogether.”

As the three of you head back to the locker rooms to retrieve your stuff before going to the surgery department, another hospital staff stops briefly on their way to greet Soomin. It’s the third time in ten minutes and you’re starting to think Soomin knows not just ‘someone’ from the hospital. Strangely enough, they all seemed like they came from different departments too. This particular person must be of high authority or someone really famous to have people greet her as often as this.

When you round the corner, at the end of the corridor is a lady in formal attire, sporting the same ID as yours and it’s Soomin who approaches this person this time. As she pulls the person aside, she urges the three of you to go ahead, telling you she’ll catch up in a moment, leaving you sandwiched between Jimin and Jungkook who tower over you easily.

“Jimin, do you happen to know who it is exactly she knows here?”

The blond shakes his head no. “She’s never mentioned anybody in particular...all I know too is that she knows somebody here.”

“Some relatives perhaps? Maybe she’s a family member of a renowned doctor here?”

“How about her Youtube channel? Maybe she’s famous then? How many followers does she have?”

You quickly tap on Youtube on your phone with Jungkook’s prodding, looking up her channel on the app. “It says here she’s got quite the following actually... “ you tilt the screen for them to see, “six thousand followers…”

“That can’t be it. The second one who greeted her was at least in his mid-fifties...Boomers couldn’t have possibly been following...what does she vlog about again? Um… a day in the life of a med student…”

From behind you, you faintly hear a ‘goodbye’ and you clear your throat, alerting the two of Soomin’s return. “What were you guys going on about here?”

Jungkook chuckles, smoothly making up an alibi as he takes your phone in his hands, “Hope you don’t mind us checking out your channel…” Surely enough, your screen was showing a video of Soomin studying for her finals.

“As long as you subscribe, it’s fine with me.” She gives you all a thumbs up. “It’s been a while since I posted anything though...Maybe if we get to the on-call room early, maybe I could film a few shots too! Come on!” Soomin hooks your arm in hers and drags you to the locker rooms, leaving the two boys standing there in the middle of the hallway.

You figure the four of you were the first interns to arrive, as most of the doctors lounging around were either in their scrubs or heading out for lunch. “Soomin,” Jungkook seemingly deep in thought, taps the girl’s shoulder.

“Hmm?”

“Remember when you bumped into me on the day of our graduation...you were with someone right? Um...Jung...Ho...I can’t quite remember his name…”

“Oh you mean Jung Hoseok? He’s my cousin.”

As Jungkook opens his mouth to reply, someone calls Soomin from the other side of the room. “Soomin! You’re here!” You spot the surgeons you’ve met during the hospital tour earlier this morning - Dr. Min Yoongi, Dr. Kim Seokjin, and Dr. Kim Namjoon. You all bow promptly as soon as they stand up.

“I didn’t really have that much of a choice,” Soomin grumbles as she gets squished with each of the doctors’ hugs. “Come on! You’re saying that as if Woocheon isn’t any good at all!”

The three of you stand awkwardly in the corner while Soomin and the other doctors mingle with each other. You nudge Jungkook’s elbow, “Hey what’s with Soomin’s cous--?”

“Oh right! These are my friends - ________, Park Jimin, and Jeon Jungkook. We’re all under your care now.” The three doctors call you over, extending their arms out for a handshake, “Ready to lose your social life?” Dr. Min asks, his bright tone contrasting his drift.

“It’s an honor to meet you Dr. Min, Dr. Kim, and Dr. Kim.” You bow curtly. “Oh doctor? It's too much! Call us sunbae instead. Oppa is cool too when we’re not working.” Dr. Seokjin’s handshake lingers a little longer than usual and you feel your cheeks start to heat up. “Besides, I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time.”

Yoongi visibly grimaces at Seokjin’s words, while Namjoon covers his face with his hands, mumbling, “Hyung.... For the love of god, please make sure the patients never ever hear that…”

Namjoon’s reaction elicits laughter from the whole group, but someone’s laugh stands out above all and it’s coming from the other side of the door. Soomin seems to recognize the voice instantly. “He’s here!”

“Soooommmiiiiiinnn!!!” A loud voice echoes throughout the room. He hugs Soomin briefly, and addresses the rest of you. “Wassup bros?” The newcomer gives each of the surgeons a dap in greeting then turns to greet you three.

“The whole gang's here!” He says, rubbing his chin, “Let me guess...Jeon Jungkook, _________, and Park Jimin, right?”

Eyes wide in surprise, you nod slowly. “Soomin here has told me all about you!” Soomin is behind the man, drawing a hand across her throat. “My name’s Jung Hoseok, by the way. Nice to finally meet you all.”

“He’s the next chairman of the Woocheon Medical City,” Seokjin whispers as he winks in your direction. Hoseok elbows him in the ribs. “No I’m not.”

“Ah yes. Correction. Not yet.” Seokjin mumbles, massaging his sides. You, Jimin, and Jungkook look at each other with knowing gazes. So that’s the ‘someone’ Soomin knows.

Woocheon ought to be...interesting.

#jungkook x reader #btswritingcafe #bangtanarmynet #btsghostie #jeon jungkook #bts aus #bts fic #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #doctors au

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tomboyneedshercoffee · 5 years ago

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Lovedust Pt.5 || Peter Parker x Stark Reader

Summary: Y/N invites Josh over to work on a project while Peter goes back to his Spiderman duties which sends Y/N into a spiral.

Word Count: 4.6k

Author’s Note: WOWIE I really stayed up all night to finish this ha. Anyway! This gives more backstory about Y/N and what happened with her biological parents and ughhhh things are moving yall! Also leave comments if it’s good and if it’s bad also leave comments 🥰

Warnings: Mention of blood, death, panic attack, ANGST

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six ||

part seven || part eight || epilogue

Even though the Avengers Complex was your home, it was much more than a place where you crashed after school. You had to keep in mind that to any normal person, the idea of seeing alien technology in use or friends from galaxies away wasn’t an average Thursday.

You never thought any of this was particularly strange until now as you got the text from Josh that he was parked in the back lot of the building like you had told him to.

Since you and Josh were partners for anatomy, you thought it would be obvious that you would be staying at his house to work on your project but your dad had other ideas.

The sheer thought of you going to a boy’s house to “study” was absurd, especially since Josh’s parents were always out of town for business. You never thought your dad would ever let any of your friends into the complex, especially a boy but in the name of science, it wasn’t too hard to convince him.

You quietly opened the side door as Josh slid in behind you and let out a low whistle.

“ Not too shabby Stark, although I gotta say, the lawn is looking a bit wild,” Josh smiled as he readjusted his backpack straps,” if you need me to come over to cut it, I charge $9.00 an hour.”

“ In that case, your first shift starts next week,” You teased as you led him to the main set of elevators in the building.

You couldn’t help but feel on edge as Josh followed close behind you. You had never brought anyone over and you were scared that bringing Josh would make things turn into a big deal. You knew how protective some of the other Avengers were of you and you just prayed silently that you wouldn’t run into any of them, especially Peter.

You weren’t sure how Peter would take it if he found out you and Josh were getting closer.

Peter was in a fragile state and who knew what little thing could set him off. You were even more worried that Peter would find out about the party tomorrow night because it wasn’t like you could invite him along.

The idea of mixing hormonal teenagers and alcohol was a recipe for disaster but the damage that could be made from Peter’s self-destructive state could be even bigger.

As much as you knew how badly things could turn out with Josh in the complex, you knew you couldn’t let Peter’s actions affect what went on in your academic life and at the end of the day, Josh was just a classmate.

Josh looked all around him, taking in everything from the colorful array of gadgets neatly built into the walls to the natural light coming from the sleek windows.

“ I feel so out of place- am I underdressed?” Josh asked as a few lab technicians walked past giving you and Josh an odd glance,” and how do you not get lost in a place this big.”

You pressed the elevator button and gave Josh a reassuring smile,” Trust me, they’ve seen weirder things around here. Like, way weirder things.”

When the elevator doors opened, the two of you walked in and you started pointing to the elevator buttons,” So a quick tour! We’re on the main floor which basically is used for important meetings and conferences, the second floor is for the gym and pool, the third is where some of the bedrooms are, fourth is strictly for the scientists, the fifth is the labs, and the other floors are for S.H.I.E.L.D agents. Also, the basement has all the cool gadgets I’m not allowed to play with but I’m convinced it’s just where the guys all hang out and drink.”

“ You have an indoor pool?”

“ That’s what caught your attention?” You laughed as Josh nodded enthusiastically.

“ Well yeah! Do you even use it? I vaguely remember that when you were twelve, you almost drowned in 4ft water at someone’s pool party,” Josh said as you pressed the third button.

“ It was 5ft but yes I know how to swim...my dad made me take lessons after that,” You mumbled as you remembered that experience vividly,” I tried lifeguarding last summer at that super fancy hotel near Greenwich but the training was too expensive so I just took a CPR course at the YMCA and lifeguarded there.”

“ Did you ever have to save anyone?” Josh asked curiously as the glass elevators moved up towards your floor.

You nodded as Josh’s mouth dropped,” Yup, I had to give CPR and everything. Lucky for them, saving lives runs in my family.”

As the elevator doors opened up to your floor, you made sure to carefully scan the hallway before stepping out. Peter was supposed to be up in the labs all-day so that gave you enough time to work on the project with Josh while keeping Peter at a safe distance.

As you were approaching the door to your room, the fridge door in the kitchen closed and revealed Peter with an IV pole on his left side and an apple in the other hand.

“ Peter!” You said nervously as you took a small step in front of Josh, almost as if you were covering him up from Peter’s line of vision,” What are you doing here? I thought you were up in the labs?”

Peter looked past you and eyed Josh up and down before holding up the fruit, walking towards the two of you,” Um, I needed something to eat- Who is he?”

Peter was constantly feeling some type of distress whether it was chest pains or headaches but now that he clearly caught you hiding a boy from him, the pain felt off.

You had never brought over any of your friends to the headquarters before so to Peter, this was already a red flag. Peter felt like his body was on high alert as thousands of scenarios were going through his head.

Josh stepped forward and held his hand out for Peter to shake,” Nice to meet you, Peter, I’m Josh. Y/N and I go to Manhattan Prep together.”

Peter looked down at Josh’s hand for a moment before shaking it hard. Josh winced but played off his pain as he pulled his hand away and stuffed it back into his pockets. You could feel the one-sided tension between the two as you looked over to Peter to try to ease him but his eyes were glued to Josh.

You cleared your throat as you turned to face Josh,“ Peter is a part of my dad’s internship program so he spends most of his time here at the complex. He’s pretty much a part of the family and he’s a really good friend, right Peter? ”

Peter nodded as he tried to calm his nerves down, his quick glance to Josh was almost as if he was begging his body to put his guard down. He couldn’t control his body and this was the first time the lovedust had forced him into a territorial state.

“ No kidding, that’s awesome man. My buddy from Midtown was telling me that he knew a guy who was accepted into the Stark Internship,” Josh said as Peter stood up a little straighter.

“ Oh really? Who?”

“ Flash Thompson, do you know him?” Josh asked as Peter looked over at you, almost as a warning.

While Josh was trying to be civil towards Peter, Peter couldn’t help but feel the pit in his stomach sink lower and lower with the thought of Josh even associating with someone like Flash.

“ As a matter of fact, I do know Flash,” Peter said smoothly, his speech hardly hesitating,” you sure know how to pick friends.”

You and Josh could tell that Peter was giving a dig towards him but Josh quickly let it go as he tried to ease the situation.

“ Well... it was nice to meet you Peter, any friend of Y/N’s is a friend of mine,” Josh said as he gave a genuine smile,” I’m sure Y/N already mentioned this to you but if you’re not busy or anything, my friend is throwing a party tomorrow and you should come out.”

Fuck.

Peter looked at you for a moment before returning a small smile to Josh,” Thanks, I’ll think about it.”

“ Um Josh, can you just wait in my room for a second?” You asked as Josh looked between the two of you and nodded.

You didn’t want to be upset at Peter for feeling hostile towards Josh because you knew he really couldn’t help himself. It was eating away at you that you were the reason Peter was acting so jealous but come on, did he really have a reason to?

Once Josh closed the door behind him, you turned back to Peter and looked down at the IV that was in his arm.

“ Is everything okay?” You asked as Peter looked down at his arm,” that looks pretty serious.”

“ Yeah… I’ve been having some problems but nothing your dad can’t fix” Peter deflected softly before looking over to your bedroom door,” so Josh...is he a friend?”

Peter knew he was walking on thin ice asking about Josh but he couldn’t bring himself to just go back in the labs and worry about the two of you all day.

“ He’s just a friend Peter, we have a school project and we’re partners,” You reassured him as Peter felt almost relieved,” and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the party, I didn’t think you would want to go but I should’ve asked.”

Peter studied your expression for a moment before looking down at his feet. It was hard to tell if you were telling the truth, maybe you didn’t want him to come. School project or not, Peter felt threatened by Josh, even if Josh was trying his best to be as nice as possible.

“ It’s okay, you’re right. Parties aren’t my thing anyway,” Peter shrugged as you bit the inside of your cheek.

You weren’t sure why you felt so guilty but whatever you were feeling, you hated how much it was stirring inside of you. You never wanted Peter to feel left out and you could easily tell that it was bothering him as much as it was bothering you.

“ Maybe if you’re not busy tonight, we can watch a movie together. I checked the kitchen this morning and there’s a ton of frozen pizzas if you’re up for it?” You suggested as Peter tapped his fingers against the side of his leg.

Peter wanted to jump at the offer, any excuse to hang out with you alone literally set Peter so close to having a cardiac arrest in the best way possible. While he was getting the hang of controlling his words around you, it felt like the more time you spent with him, the more he felt himself fall for you.

“ I’m actually going to patrol tonight,” Peter said in a low whisper as he looked back at your bedroom door,” I haven’t been on the streets in a long time and I think I feel well enough to go.”

“ Are you sure you’re ready? You’re literally hooked up to an IV bag Peter,” You said as Peter subtly pushed the IV pole behind him as if he could hide it.

“ I won’t do anything crazy, I’ll be okay. I’ll only be out for a couple of hours and we can hang out when I get back,” Peter said as you hesitantly nodded.

You understood that being a superhero meant that you couldn’t take sick days but this was an extreme circumstance. To you, Spiderman could wait but for Peter, that was a large part of his livelihood that he had put aside for too long.

You wanted to tell him not to go, better yet, if you could hide every single one of his Spiderman suits you would. It didn’t sit right with you that with everything going on with his health that he would jeopardize it but you knew it wasn’t your call.

“ Okay, but please text me updates so I know you’re safe. Things have been so crazy lately and I-”

“ Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll be okay,” Peter interrupted as he felt his heart grow heavy,” I promise I’ll keep you updated.”

You didn’t know why the thought of Peter going out was so scary but before you could think things over in your head, your feet stepped forward and you pulled Peter into a tight hug. You rested your chin against his shoulder as you inhaled deeply as if hugging Peter would calm down your nerves for the rest of your life.

Without a second thought, Peter drew his arms over your body and held you close to his chest. His heart beat even faster than usual as he closed his eyes, holding you even tighter than before.

----------

You checked your phone for what seemed like the millionth time in the last hour as you grew more and more anxious.

Peter had been gone for hours to go patrol while you and Josh were still working on the project. It was eating away at you that Peter wasn’t back yet and every time another minute passed without an update, you felt like you were closer to losing your mind.

Even before Peter made contact with the lovedust, you would still secretly pray that he got home in one piece. When everyone you knew and loved had a career that put themselves in the line of danger, thoughts of not having them around anymore plagued you whenever you had a quiet moment to yourself.

You had lost people before to freak accidents like your biological parents who had passed away when you were old enough to know how death worked. You couldn’t imagine not having Tony as your dad but some nights whenever you were filled to the brim with anxiety, you wondered what your life would’ve been like if your parents weren’t killed during that home invasion.

When you’ve lost people, it never gets easier, terror plagues you. The fear of someone you know getting hurt was by far scarier than anything Hollywood could recreate with CGI and yet, it was slowly looming over you.

Superheros were literally your life and you weren’t mentally prepared that one day, something bad could happen and you could lose them forever. With Peter, you weren’t sure if it was because of how close the two of you were now but the fear of losing him was bigger than any other scenario you had crafted in your head.

“ Is everything okay? You seem a little out of it,” Josh said as you looked away from your phone and back towards your laptop.

“ Yeah, I’m good, my body just feels so tired. I’ve read so much medical terminology within the past couple of hours and now everything is jumbling together,” You sighed as you looked down at Josh who was sprawled out onto your bedroom floor with a textbook resting against his stomach.

You never realized how comfortable your floor was but seeing Josh on your floor looking as effortless as ever was a shock to your system. When Josh caught your gaze, you turned back to your laptop and rested your cheek against your palm to try to cover the blush that was creeping onto your cheeks.

As you rested your cheek against your propped up hand, you could feel your eyelids get heavier with each passing second. Josh noticed from his spot on the ground and sat upon his hands, watching you ever so intently.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed once you closed your eyes but once you felt a blanket drape across your shoulders, you stirred quietly.

You held your breath as you waited for anything else but all you could hear was paper shuffling around. You peeked your eye out and saw Josh crouched down on your floor, carefully putting his textbooks and notes into his backpack, being careful not to wake you.

Instead of waking up to say goodbye, you pretend to be asleep as if you were too nervous to even confront Josh this late. The papers stopped shuffling and as you tried to keep your breathing patterns even, you felt Josh’s hand rub your shoulder softly before walking out of the room.

Once your bedroom door had closed, you hesitantly opened your eyes and gave a quick peek to make sure Josh was really gone.

You exhaled loudly, not even aware that you were holding it in all this time. You let the blanket fall onto the chair before walking over to your large window that pointed towards where Josh had parked.

You knew you should’ve walked him down after everything he had done for your project but the least you could do now was to make sure he left the complex in one piece. After a few minutes of patiently looking out the window, you saw Josh’s car pull out of the long driveway and headed down towards the front gate.

Your mind instantly traveled back to Peter as you checked your phone again but this time you went back to your messages and looked at all of the unread messages you had left for him.

5:12pm || Y/N: update me when you get to your post!

5:29pm || Y/N: oh don’t swing and text loser!!!!

6:01pm || Y/N: you there yet?

6:36pm || Y/N: don’t make me spam text u nerd

6:57pm || Y/N: im gonna just pretend you’re too busy to txt me back-be safe!

7:40pm || Y/N: helloooo?!?! Is everything okay

8:00pm || Y/N: i will leak your identity fool txt me back

8:40pm || Y/N: whatever idc anymore

8:44pm || Y/N: still haven’t heard back from you, you dead?

9:06pm || Y/N: ur freaking me out dude, any updates?

9:33pm || Y/N: there was a fire near the museum are you okay?!?! The news said you were there

9:35pm || Y/N: peter????

9:50pm || Y/N: call me im worried

10:02pm || Y/N: ur scaring me pls respond

You cursed under your breath as you pressed the call button and placed it to your ear. After a few rings, Peter’s voicemail came on and you didn’t even bother to listen to it all the way. You had already left so many voicemails and at this point, there was nothing you could do but wait for him.

You were filled with dread as you scooted back into your bed and refreshed the news pages on your phone.

Spiderman Stops an Armed Gunman Outside Plaza

You knew that it wasn’t healthy for you to keep scrolling online but you needed to know if Peter was safe. You hated the feeling of not being kept into the loop and Peter wasn’t the type to completely ignore text messages unless that meant he was in real trouble, what could you do to help him, you don’t have any powers you’re just a teenager-

You took a deep breath in as you shut your phone off and stared up at the ceiling to clear your head.

Peter is smart. He’s fast. He will be fine. You kept repeating it over and over again like a lullaby and with some luck, you could feel your eyelids get heavier and heavier by the second with Peter being the last thing you thought before falling into a deep sleep.

You held your hand over your mouth to try and stop the sobs that rocked your body from underneath the bed. You could hear your dad begging, pleading to spare his wife before the sound of a gunshot went off.

It was louder than you remembered almost as if the sky let out a roaring thunder that shook the whole house. You could hear your dad struggling with the gunman before another shot rang out, this time even louder.

The glowing stars that were stuck to your ceiling shook off once your bedroom door had slammed opened and you prayed silently, wanting the nightmare to end.

You did your best to be quiet as you watched his feet walk slowly to the bed, almost at a teasing pace like he knew you were underneath there. Everytime the nightmare played in your head, the attacker took on a different appearance. Sometimes it was someone you knew, other times it was just a passing face on the street.

But everytime you had this nightmare, one thing never changed. The shoes, black sneakers with white laces and depending on how terrible the nightmare decided to be, you could spot the splatter of blood against the heels.

You watched as the man walked behind your bed and you let out a scream as you felt his hands wrap around your ankles, pulling you roughly against the carpet. As you scratched at the attackers face, your sob got caught in the middle of your throat.

The attacker always took a different appearance and this time, it was Peter.

You kicked and screamed as hard as you could as he tried to pin you down, his weapon pressed into the side of your rib as you sobbed uncontrollably. You knew it was a dream and you were so used to letting it ride out or until you fell out of bed but with Peter staring at you as he dangled your life between his fingers, all you wanted to do was wake up.

All you could do was continue to fight back through your tears as he kept saying your name, taunting you.

“ Let go of me!”

“ Y/N! I got you!”

“ It’s me Peter!”

“Y/N!”

You shot up from out of your bed, almost knocking heads with another figure as you let out a choked sob. You didn’t realize your fists were still swinging until you felt a pair of arms wrap around your body, cradling you.

The memory of the attacker was still so vivid in your head and all you wanted to do was get away,“ Let me go!” You screamed as you struggled against their grip as they held you even tighter,” get off of me!”

“ Y/N! Y/N! It’s me! It’s me! You’re okay!” Peter shouted as he let his grip go before cupping his hands on either side of your face,” open your eyes! Hey! It’s me, you’re okay!”

You squirmed from his lap as you opened your eyes to see Peter in front of you, the actual Peter. As relieved as you were, you felt your chest tighten as you continued to cry and without a second thought, you leaned into Peter’s chest and buried your wet face into his t-shirt.

Peter held you tighter as he rested one hand against the back of your head and the other was snaked around your waist. He smoothed down your hair as he made soft shushing noises to try and calm you down,” It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here, I got you.”

You hadn’t felt so relieved to see anyone until now and as you tried to control your cries, you felt yourself slowly transitioning back into reality. You inhaled his scent as you dug your face into his neck and you never thought a smell could bring you so much peace.

Relief wasn’t even what you were feeling, it was more than that. You couldn’t put it into words and it was heavier than the idea of weight being lifted off of your shoulders. Release. To sob into someone’s embrace where you knew you would be safe no matter what felt heavenly and with every sob you let out, you felt yourself separate from the nightmare altogether.

Peter had to hold back his own tears as he held you and slowly rocked your body back and forth like a baby. He wasn’t sure if it was comforting you but it definitely put Peter at ease.

Just minutes ago, he had just checked on you to see if you were still awake and once he saw that you were sleeping, he went back to his room to get ready for bed. It wasn’t until he was putting on his pajamas when the hair on his arm stood up seconds before you actually let out a scream only he could sense.

Peter literally scrambled to your room and had his web-shooters ready because from what he could hear, he thought someone was attacking you. It wasn’t until he saw that you were having a nightmare that he quickly threw his web-shooters to the side and tried to wake you up.

It was one thing to be in love with someone and to go through the motions as if it was a normal occasion but this was different. Seeing you so vulnerable and completely terrified utterly broke Peter in half and he knew for sure that it wasn’t all because of the lovedust.

“ You’re safe Y/N, you’re okay.”

“ Don’t worry I got you.”

“ Just breathe for me, okay?”

For what seemed like forever, Peter cradled you and whispered into your ear to let you know that you were okay and that he was there for you. He wanted you to tell him everything about the nightmare and what had triggered it but he knew that it wasn’t just an ordinary nightmare with the occasional boogeyman.

You thought back to your nightmare one last time as you pictured a hazy Peter attacking you and it almost sent you into another panic attack. Peter could feel how tense you got and his grip loosened so he could look back at you.

Your eyes were puffy from crying so much and your cheeks were flushed red but Peter thought you were absolutely beautiful. You weren’t sure what you wanted to say to him, there was so much to say yet so little at the same time.

“ Thank you,” You whispered ever so softly as you craned your neck up and pressed a soft kiss against Peter’s cheek.

You both knew that it wasn’t an ordinary thank you but for Peter, he didn’t need to analyze it any further. You closed your eyes and listened to the sound of Peter’s heartbeat that rang throughout his body.

From pure exhaustion of crying and anxiety, you felt even more tired than before and Peter could feel you slipping back to sleep. He didn’t want to let you go, if he could, he would hold you in his arms forever if it meant keeping you safe and sound.

Once Peter heard your soft snores, he held you for a second longer before carefully laying you back down into your bed. Like second nature, Peter pulled the covers back over your body and tucked a strand of hair that was danging in the middle of your face behind your ear.

Peter ignored the sore feeling that was lingering in his back and forearms from holding you up and lightly dragged his fingers across his own cheek. He was way into deep now.

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1K notes · View notes

shiroandmonomi · 3 years ago

Note

Hi! Could you do a headcannon for the drv3 boys with an autistic S/O?

Ofc! 💗

DRV3 Boys with an Autistic S/O

× 𝘔𝘰𝘥 𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘰

Pls excuse my very little knowledge on autism!!

𝘚𝘢𝘪𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢

• Doesn't mind your autism

• He thinks it's what makes you, well, you.

• If ur stimming(negatively) omg hes ready for u

• Cushions, pillows and blankets all for you on the Couch, he wont even sit on the couch, its all yours

• he turns on ur favorite tv show or music that you like

• He loves you and nobody makes him happier than how you do

𝘔𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘢

҂ Stargazing. Just stargazing

҂ if you like something then he does too!!

҂ kinda reminds me of a boy bestie of mine ngl

҂ he loves when you happy stim

҂ he thinks its adorable, your little happy hands you do and how you can't stand still sometimes

҂ also that one go best freind song yeah thats him alr

𝘒𝘐𝘐𝘉𝘖

↭ Probably had to get re-programmed or smth so he understood

↭ He went to miu just so you could have a happy relationship, made you stim

↭ he was reprogrammed to understand this but he was so scared 😭

↭ hes like "omg whats happening are you dying

↭ but then he remembered and just went like : "ಡ ͜ ʖ ಡ"

𝘏𝘰𝘴𝘩𝘪 (non despair so a bit angsty)

Honestly idk how he'd realise.

He's canonically a death row inmate.

It was a day before his death. You were crawled upon the couch hugging a teddy bear, crying as you thought:

"He's gonna die. I'll never see him again."

You couldn't stop crying. It all spilled out of you like a waterfall. You ran upstairs, grabbed your things, put on some clean clothes, and ran to the police station.

As you opened the doors, you walked up to the register and told them you wanted to see your boyfreind. You needed to hug him, you needed him to hug you back. They took you to the glass boxes.

There he was. You ran over to him and told him things you'd never told anyone. Your speech was slurred and you couldnt look at him. When you did, it made you cry again. Instead of asking you, why? Why would you visit me? He Thanked you. He told you why he did it, and you finally understood. He's tried to get through this as much as you have. "One more thing, S/O."

He said as an officer came up to you and told you Ryoma intented to give you it. It was a small stress reliver toy, to help you get over your stims.

Omg my fingers hurt !!

𝘈𝘮𝘢𝘮𝘪

I cant wtite rantaro and never have im sorry i cant 😭😭 i never talked to him ingame and know nothing about him im sorry 😥

𝘎𝘰𝘬𝘶𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢

❦ Twinning

❦ Hes autistic too!! Hes so happy to find there are other people like him!!!

❦ Hes baby

❦ he's very educated on it and knows how to help

❦ hes probably got a whole box of fidgets for the both of you lol.

❦ i love him

𝘖𝘶𝘮𝘢

乡 "but ur not like sheldon cooper"

乡 duh.

乡 hed tease you 24/7

乡 you know its a joke but it still hurts

乡if someone ever teasesyou hed pull out the ' Bitch!? ' card bc its his job to tease you and you know it

Yall im sorty for kokichis o just found it funny 😭😭

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al3x1ss · 4 years ago

Text

Bring them to your home for the holidays {HCs}

Includes: Oikawa, Akaashi, Noya, Terushima, Kiyoko

THIS IS WRITTEN WITH A FEMALE READER! ALSO, ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP!

Author’s note: In my family, thanksgiving means the Christmas stuff is put up after breakfast, so I got this idea ab the holidays and I got v happy. Enjoy!

Warnings: None, fluffy holidays for y’all!

Oikawa

okay mans HATES the cold confirmed

like snow comes he’ll probably hiss

(HISSING AT SNOW ME HONESTLY LMAO)

(Not me seeing a few feet of snow with my sisters and going “wow look at all that cocaine”)

ANYWAY

so y’all met when both of you happened to be in Brazil and he thought you were cute

long story short you had a few dinner dates, even hung out with Hinata!!

you guys hit it off very well :)

so you guys have been together for about 2 years and you’re like ya know what

“Come to my house for the holidays :)”

not only is this man a simp but he loves the warmth so ofc he says yes!!

so while you’ve lived here all your life, only really moving out of Tampa to Miami, you did have to take this tourist him to a basic spot

but you did want to take him to some of your favorite places

after him seeing your family again, you took him to one of your favorite carnivals!

then classic gotta go to the beach I mean

why not go to the ocean!!

issue with December weather in Florida is it changes every second so today was a bit C H I L L E D

(You did have to force him to eat something other than rice tho)

Picky eater kawa confirmed

what better way to spend December 25th than Disney

I mean

Mans whole went “wow 😍” when you told him

Kiyoko

BEST WOMAN I LOVE WOMEN

ahem

you were an exchange student during her whole high school career, turning into best friends and deciding to go to college together

college came along, and with the help of a few friends, parties, and a little too much twister, you realized

you were actually lesbian.

which you know what, we support!

it’s not like you’ve never liked a boy, it just happened to be that women were more your type

oh yeah another thing

Kiyoko is the prettiest thing in your eyes.

OH ANOTHER ANOTHER THING

HAVE I MENTIONED YOU REALIZED THAT YOU’VE ACTUALLY LIKED HER SINCE YOUR 1ST YEAR IN COLLEGE

NO?

OKAY.

so what you DONT know is that Kiyoko has realized she actually feels the same

during your third year in college, she had broken up with her boyfriend of a year, Tanaka, but never told you why

Huh

i wONdEr whY

But, after living in Japan for 7 years, Christmas time is rolling around once again

And you are going home for the holidays!

usually you would go home during summer break, but this time you really wanted to spend Christmas since your older brother had your niece!

and since Kiyo didn’t have any plans you were like

“hey, do you want to come home with me?”

home girl choked on her water 😳

“H-home?”

“Yeah! I’m going back to New Orleans for the holidays.”

cue brain calming down and like sLIGHT disappointment

but

it’s you

and she loves you.

HANGING OUT WITH YOU SORRY

so you guys did presents and stuff

your niece LOVES Kiyoko btw

your dad was like “👀”

I SEE YOU YOU SEE ME MAn

been knew you were 💅AND HE SUPPORTS

so around 4 you’re like let’s go do something!!

and she says okay!!

so one movie Kiyoko really loved was “Princess and the Frog”

Funny enough there’s actually a bakery you’ve gone too growing up

so you get New Orleans’ best beignets!

Ahh, fun times

next, you’ll always hear some type of caroling anywhere you are in the city

which means?

SMALL PARTIES

DANCING

FUN TIMES

you see random groups of people smiling around 7pm, the sun already down

and you’re thinking to yourself

Hey

I want to ask her to dance.

and you do :)

YALL BUST D O W N LIKE YES MAAMS

continuing

Finally at around 10pm you take her to this one street where each place has a bunch of Christmas wonderlands lit up

hile it doesn’t really snow in New Orleans, people used fake snow!!

gotta get that spirit somehow 😗

when I say Kiyoko is a goddess I mean it

the lights bouncing off her face while she’s smiling?

*chefs kiss*

Terushima

ah yes the city that everyone thinks is a state

IM SORRY J

BUT IM NOT EHDJFJHH

Chicago!! ✨

Terushima HAS visited Illinois before

However, surprisingly has never been to Chicago

So you were like

I’m born here!! 🥰

Come come!!🥺

And he said

Si si!! 🤪

so y’all flew out on the 20th

while your parents don’t live here, some old friends do

and why not have them meet your amazing boyfriend!

literally all of them were shocked I mean

(Y/N) likes a boy with a tongue piercing?

wack

the amount of BONKERS

but yes you love him very much

and he loves you!!

honestly your friends already fell in love with you two being in love it’s canon

afterwards you guys went too ZooLights

HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO THROW A SNOWBALL AT YOU

“YUJI MY PANTS ARE WET”

“IM SORRY PRINCESS IT WAS JUST A GOOD TIMING-“

you threw one at his face

Not y’all fighting like little kids-

n e wayz

best way to end the 24th?

ice skating-

nope.

It’s actually buying late presents because you two actually forgot to get some people presents and Christmas is literally in like 4 hours!!

YOU COULDNT CATCH YUJI IF YOU TRIED😳

MANS WAS ZOOMIN THROUGH EVERY STORE

GRANDMA? GOT IT

UNCLE? SURE

NEPHEW? YOU DONT EVEN GOT A NEPHEW

It was mega fun tho

surprisingly y’all didn’t get kicked out

you almost did when Terushima thought it would be a good idea to ride a skateboard into the electronics section at target 🤡

but we will ignore that for tonight ❤️

Akaashi

A NOTE:

this one will be the longest one with the most detail for certain reasons! also, for akaashi’s you do have a given birthday because Dec 30th is actually my birthday and I wanted to sprinkle in some of that ❤️

alright

best for last :)

So you got to be in an exchange program during college

and that’s when you met akaashi since you guys were in the same classes!

he also showed you around and was very sweet

so you offered to get him coffee

and after a while he confessed by giving you a copy of a book you both really loved

but

you semester was ending

which means home for the holidays

luckily, you guys would only have one more semester away from eachother before you guys graduated

but you did want to spend the holidays together

so you offered for him to come to New York with you

boy got excited so fast my heart-

wOOSH FOR THIS MAN

But like Christmas in New York with your loving boyfriend of 4 years?

Sign me up

So you know that during winter it’s a hit or miss with snow

is it still freezing cold?

Yes.

But can we guarantee 3 feet of snow every December?

No.

But we can guarantee it in like March JEJHRTJ

one thing you told him immediately was that you guys will be watching the ball drop from the roof

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to get mugged, shoved, or vomit on my shoes, Keiji.”

Yes ma’am indeed

so you guys had a pretty (quiet?) Christmas

your family?

LOUD AS CAN BE

but

Regarding to going places

You guys chilled all day in pajamas

Like the most y’all did was go to dunkin for hot chocolate

but the days leading to New Years?

GOTTA GO GO GO

Classic tree photo yes ma’am

nut crackers AND THOSE GIANT CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AND ORNAMENTS ACROSS FROM JIMMY FALLONS STUDIO?

Y’ALL KNOW THE STREET I FORGET THE STREET LMAO

bro side note their kabobs in that one corner

best thing I’ve ever had I stg

I haven’t been to the city since last Christmas wow now I miss it

OKAY NVM SORRY

you wanted to show Keiji so many things

but

You were used to walking like 10 blocks in any shoes as fast as you can

Akaashi was not 😂

So y’all had to take breaks sometimes

get him warmed and fed ya know

give the man smoochies 🥺

id be giving him smoochies 24/7 if I could

so you better for me 😠

His favorite place was the big Macy’s no lie

the perfumes and cologne section on the 2nd floor looked SO WELL PUT TOGETHER

okay nvm scratch that

FAO Schwartz was his favorite place

he loved the trains

you bought him a train as a late present SHH NO ONE SAY NOTHIN

So the 29th you decided to take him to where you were born

Brooklyn!

it was super fun showing him where you lived before you went to college

and before your siblings moved to different parts of the city

It was lovely

But the final thing you wanted to do was December 30th

your birthday :)

and one thing you absolutely love to do is ice skating

now usually you go ice skating at the public rink like a few minutes away from Rockefeller rink

not only was it cheaper, but there was a Panera like 2 blocks away so quick food!

but

you also wanted to give Keiji the experience

so you sucked it up and paid

you guys went at around 8 and had a blast

one of the best birthdays with him honestly

but, you realized people were starting to exit the rink at around 10

“Doesn’t the rink close at midnight?”

“Huh, weird.”

but Keiji kind of starts looking around while you realize you two are the only ones on the ice

So you’re like

I guess we have to get off 😔

But this sly fox

Pulls you to the center of the rink

Now, you were never one for the cliché act

Especially since so many proposals have happened on this rink that you’ve seen

But when you saw Keiji get to one knee

It didn’t even matter that this happened to so many other people

It was happening to you.

And it’s ESPECIALLY CLICHE

THAT IT WAS ON YOUR BIRTHDAY

however

I guess you can just suck it up, cuz at least you have a ring on your finger :)

- Lex 🖤🤍

End note: Let me know if you guys would like a part 2! Also if you have any ideas for a certain character or place, put it in asks!

#Royal Flush #Full House #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #oikawa tooru #oikawa headcanons #oikawa smau #kiyoko shimizu #kiyoko headcanons #kiyoko smau #terushima yūji #terushima headcanons #terushima smau #akaashi keiji #akaashi headcanons #akaashi smau #No Cursing :)

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degenerate-otaku · 4 years ago

Text

Another one shot of Future Gohan and Trunks for yall

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13896221/1/Before-the-Rain

(Links in case you prefer)

In the times that had followed the androids' destruction, younger generations were highly protected, as they were the earth's only hope. The government set up an initiative to get more children out of dangerous cities that housed gangs and violence.

Children and any family they had would move to countryside camps, wherein they would receive food, safety and education in return for doing manual labour such as farming and sewing, as well as taking care of the sick.

Trunks somewhat hated this, as it meant that many children in West City, including his own friends often moved away when things got too difficult, leaving him isolated, in terms of having friends his own age.

Sure, sometimes he'd visit, taking the underground railway system, or by hopping on the nimbus, or even flying when he had learnt to do so, but it felt like an arduous task.

However, when Gohan decided to volunteer as a teacher, Trunks thought it would be a good idea to attend full time, as the pair could go together. Trunks was surprised when the day before Gohan revealed he was rather nervous about it.

“C'mon, you're an amazing teacher to me, so I'm sure you'll be able to teach more kids!” Trunks reassured him, snuggling into bed. He always loved when Gohan would stay over at his house, it was so comforting to know he was right there beside him.

“Yeah...but that's you...and I've known you since you were born...and there's a lot of kids!” Gohan hung up his smart looking outfit, which Trunks remarked as being nerdy, on a hanger, before sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Trust me, they aren't as annoying as me. You'll be fine...Good night.” Trunks smiled at him before switching off his light and pretending to be asleep before Gohan could worry further.

Gohan sighed and tucked the boy in a little more before heading to sleep himself.

The next day, the pair flew to the makeshift school building, and landed away from sight before coming in together.

To keep Gohan distracted from his nerves, which Trunks viewed as highly irrational, considering Gohan was also "The Golden Warrior", he inquired,

“Doesn't your mom cook for the kids here a lot? My friends said that a lady called Miss Son is the most amazing lunch lady ever.”

“Huh? Oh...yeah,” Gohan laughed, lifting his head from the book held in his hands.

“I mean...she's used to cooking in massive quantities for me and for when my dad was around...it's a chance for her to share her...motherly-ness.” He smiled, then stopped at the door, listening to the sound of children chattering inside.

“You can do this!” Trunks grinned, taking his bag off his shoulder as he stepped in, Gohan following, the class immediately silenced, intrigued by the smart young man, that was clearly strong looking, his muscles bulging even in his clothes.

“Uh...Good morning class!” He began, picking up a pen and writing his name on the board.

“My name is Mr Son...and I will be your new teacher!” He smiled politely, awaiting a response.

“Oh my god, are you married to the lunch lady?!” A girl exclaimed.

Gohan frantically shook his head, “N-no, she's my mom!” His face had gone red as the class giggled, but he soon regained composure, laughing it off.

“Gosh, she cooks like that for you all the time?!” Another kid chimed in and he scratched the back of his head,

“Yeah...I guess so! I just hope she doesn't come in and embarrass me!” He answered.

Trunks gazed up at him from where he was sitting. He was glad to see his best friend adapting so well to his new job.

“Alright! Our first task is going to be a written task, which I'll get you to read aloud at the end.” He instructed them, handing out some paper, taking a look at every one of his new students.

“I want you all to write about what you did during your summer. Which programs did you volunteer in? Did you visit anywhere?”

He returned to his position at the front and passionately spoke, “I really wanna know about you guys! Oh...maybe I should take the register to learn your names...tell me if I mispronounce any!”

Gohan sat down, getting out the list of names and calling them out, one by one, receiving a pleasant "Good morning, Mr Son“ each time. It was strange to hear Trunks call him that, and by the sound of it, the title was strange for the boy to speak aloud too. The two just had to pretend as if they didn't know each other, Gohan made it a priority not to show favouritism towards him, but he knew it would be difficult.

He loved that boy unconditionally.

”Sir, how long do we have?“ A girl named Cherri, who he knew to be Trunks' friend that used to live not far from Capsule Corp, asked.

”Oh...right, I forgot to tell you that! Uh...you have until half past.“ He answered, before scribbling down more lesson ideas in his book.

The truth was that he had no clue about what he was doing. He was planning his lessons as he went along.

The time passed quickly, and Gohan decided to pick out random students to read out what they had wrote. A few passed, and he made some notes about them in his book.

”Alright, last but not least is Trunks.“ Gohan called out to him, snapping the boy out of a daydream.

”Oh, ok...“ He reluctantly stood and read from the paper, ”Last summer, I mostly stayed at home, played video games and studied. I went to the beach with my mom a few times....uhh I watched TV and...uh yeah.“ He sat back down.

”...that's it? That's all you wrote?“ Gohan glared at his student, hoping he had a good response.

”Yeah.“ Trunks replied, thinking nothing of it.

”Trunks, you had half an hour and you wrote 3 sentences.“ Gohan sounded stern and the class silently watched.

”Well, you already know what I did last summer, Gohan-“ Trunks gasped and the class was confused.

”Wait, is he your brother?“ The boy next to Trunks, who was also his good friend asked and the whole class started chatting.

Gohan cleared his throat and sighed,

”Yes...well...I am very close to Trunks, our families are too...but this does not mean I favour him over any of you.“ He calmed the situation, then spoke directly to Trunks,

”I need you to show the same level of respect to me as everyone else in here, too, ok? It is the morning of the first day, so I will let this slide, but please give more effort.“

Trunks nodded, but rolled his eyes, slumping back in his chair, when Gohan turned to the whiteboard and wrote down the title of the next lesson, before collecting in the students' essays and handing out exercise books.

The next lesson would be a boring maths lesson, which Trunks sat through. He was ahead of his peers in scientific and mathematical subjects, thanks to his master's teaching, so sitting through a recap of something he found so simple was like watching paint dry.

Whenever Trunks raised his hand, he felt like Gohan always asked someone else. He didn't like being ignored.

He knew the answers to everything, it was incredibly annoying to hear someone who clearly didn't know something harder than expanding brackets in algebra, try to solve the equation on the board that Trunks could do in his head.

Gohan was encouraging and made sure the students felt no shame in making mistakes.

”Alright, Cherri, so now you need to get the unknowns on one side of the equation.“ Gohan advised her, writing on the board the step she just explained with his help.

The girl stammered, her face going a little red from the attention.

”The answer is 4!“ Trunks, finally fed up, called out the answer.

”Well, yes, that is correct, but I wasn't asking you, I was asking Cherri.“ Gohan put down his pen and his serious tone returned.

”She obviously didn't know!“ Trunks folded his arms, determined to not apologise for doing what he thought was right.

”It's rude to interrupt, regardless.“ Gohan told him, before moving on.

Finally, it was time for break and when Trunks decided he was going to talk to Gohan, he was surprised to find girls in his class talking to him instead, asking him tons of questions.

”So, you work out?“ One asked, taking a look at his arms.

”Of course he does, just look at him!“ Her friend cut in and Gohan blushed and nodded, explaining his reasons, which Trunks knew to be false.

”Oh, hey, Trunks!“ Gohan spotted him and took his opportunity to get out of that conversation.

”I wanted to have a chat about before.“ He approached his pupil, who was causing him some concern.

”Oh...same.“ Trunks fiddled with the sleeves of his jumper, something he always did when he was nervous, which Gohan took notice of.

”Why did you feel like you could do that?“ Gohan's voice was calm; it always made Trunks feel more at ease.

”I dunno...it just felt like...you were ignoring me. I just got a bit fed up...because I already knew the stuff and you weren't asking me.“ The teen shrugged his shoulders, not meeting his eye.

”Trunks,“ Gohan placed his hand on his shoulder, making the boy glance up at him.

”I just want to know what the others know. I know you're able to do this, but most of them aren't.“

Gohan did make sense, but Trunks was stubborn. His mother said it was a trait of his father, though she was stubborn too.

”I spend a lot of time with you...and I love spending time with you...but it's not fair to give you all my focus...

You know I really love you, right?“

That was enough to make Trunks smile.

”I know...thanks, Gohan...I mean Mr Son.“ Trunks giggled before running off.

Gohan watched as the other kids played together gleefully. It was heartwarming to see them be actual kids and enjoy their disrupted youth. It only made him more determined to fight for their safety and teach them well.

'I might be an even better teacher than you, Mr Piccolo...'

He smirked, hoping Piccolo could hear him somewhere, feeling proud of him.

#dbz #dragon ball z #dragon ball #trunks #future trunks #gohan #son gohan #trunks briefs #dbz fanfiction #fanfiction #fluff #my fanfiction

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rhaenyraisadyke · 4 years ago

Text

This is an analysis of the last Clone Wars episode I wrote exactly a year ago today. I feel like sharing it because why not so tada.

I'm also kinda posting this for me so you seriously don't have to read it- unless you want to idk I can't exactly stop you. And if yall want more, I did them all on the last 8 episodes of the Clone Wars because I felt like it.

Victory and Death

Before you go through this. I just want to say that the Clone Wars and primarily Ahsoka have been in my life for as along as I can remember. I have grown up on this TV Show. So for it to finally get the ending it deserves, is in a way a dream come true. My heart and soul is poured into this show. But with the Clone Wars ending, I know this won’t be the last of Ahsoka.

* This opening music is called Victory and Death

* It’s very similar to the music played at Padmè’s funeral, I guess you could say its a reminder of what death is lurking.

* I’ve never seen such a crisp Venator class Star Destroyer.

* It’s so detailed and for that reason, its going to make this all hurt even more then it already will.

* We are back from where we were left off moments ago in Shattered.

* Ahsoka still doesn’t want to kill any of the clones. She knows they can’t control it, and she wants to be able to help them. Just like she did with Rex. Ahsoka and Rex are the only ones who know its not their fault.

* This isn’t her first rodeo, she dealt with a similar thing in brain invaders with the Genosians.

* Similar with the Brain invaders, she didn’t want to be the one to personally kill them.

* She knew they were willing to die if it meant she would be dead.

* She just couldn’t deal with the fact that she would have killed clones who chose to be with her. Who CHOSE to stand by her on this mission and serve with her against Maul on Mandalore. She knew just about every single one of the clone’s names. She took the time to acknowledge them all. And they all are ready to die because of her. So as the person Ahsoka is, to make that decision and refuse to kill them is untimely better then being the one to personally “pull the trigger”

* The reason why in Shattered that she killed a few of the troopers was because at the time she didn’t know they were unable to control their actions. She had no idea what was happening. She was in fight or flight mode.

* Watching Rex and Ahsoka go right into attack mode on their brothers is just brutal, but beautiful at the same time.

* Ahsoka is in a defensive position and guarding Rex with every move, while allowing Rex to be on the offense.

* I find it interesting about how Ahsoka doesn’t try to hide at all that she let Maul out.

* In reality it was either she let him out and create a diversion to survive or allow him to die and have every single clone looking for her. Although no answer is the right one, considering her odds, it was the only one left.

* The worst part about the entire clone wars, is that every character is always put in a situation where they have to compromise their morals for this war. No matter what side you were on in this war, you were sacrificing so much when none of it ever mattered in the end, because no one won.

* No matter what choice Ahsoka mode in that moment, she was stuck with the deaths of troopers on her hands, and there was nothing she could do about it. Because in the end, no one wins the clone wars.

* Maul is on another rampage and it’s terrifying

* He uses a 332nd HELMET AS A SHIELD

* He’s so incredibly powerful and it’s just crazy.

* I loved how the bridge looked when they came out of hyperspace. Really cinematic

* All of the lives Maul is taking is also taking a toll on Ahsoka. When she tells Rex she let him out, you can tell there’s a bit of guilt in there. She knows what Maul is capable of, and by Ahsoka letting him out. She’s allowing all of these clones to die. In the end it’s a fight for survival, and she’s doing everything she can to survive. So by allowing Maul do what he will do, it’s the best choice out of a really bad situation.

* The way the ship comes out of Hyperspace is insane.

* Knowing this ship is going to crash on this moon, and there’s nothing Ahsoka can do to save all of the clones is ripping her apart.

* In all of her life, she has only ever wanted to help people. But everyone on this ship wants to kill her, and yet she still wants to help. Knowing this ship is going down is terrifying for her because she can’t save them all.

* This is important because in the Martez sisters arc, Ahsoka learns what truly goes wrong when the people who need help most aren’t able to be helped.

* The Martez sisters taught her that everyone deserves a chance to be saved. Their parents should have been saved because that’s what a Jedi is supposed to do. They are supposed to save the people who need it most. Not catching criminals when they are interfering with a Jedi’s work.

* As the ship is getting into orbit, and becoming more and more destroyed, it just furthers the fact of how the clones are programed to purely just follow order 66.

* Their humanity is lost. Their worry for their lives is completely out the window.

* They don’t care that the ship is breaking apart around them.

* Every single clone is hyper focused to complete the mission, because in the end, good soldiers follow orders.

* All that the clones can think about and is programed to do, is to kill Ahsoka Tano.

* What makes this moment worse, is that Ahsoka doesn’t want to hurt them. She knows this isn’t really them.

* Rex on the other hand for the first time ever, has distanced himself from his brothers.

* Rex knows deep down that there’s no way to save them all. He knows threes nothing he can do about it, so for him to distance himself in the moment, is his best bet to survive.

* When Rex is trying to get Ahsoka to understand that she can’t save them all, he is wearing his helmet.

* That helmet is what the empire wanted

* They wanted the helmets to be a sign of emptiness and unable to show expression for what had to be done.

* Rex didn’t want Ahsoka to see his face because he was being emotional. It in a sense was a sign of weakness but in reality, the helmet was what separated him and the mind controlled clones.

* Under the helmet, Rex still had his humanity.

* Under the helmets of the other clones, they were just a blank slate, made to be destroyed.

* So when Rex cries and doesn’t look at Ahsoka in that moment. It’s because he wants to hide his humanity and not let it get in the way of getting the job done. Getting to safety.

* When Ahsoka says “While they may be willing to die. I will not be the one who is to kill them” It’s bittersweet. She knows they are beyond saving, but she knows that if she kills them, then she will have the blood on her hands of someone who was unable to control themselves and in a sense fight back.

* Rex just wants to do the right thing. And he knew what it was like being on the other side. To execute the order and to be completely okay with loosing his life for it.

* Rex just was so vulnerable in this moment, because he was completely helpless.

* When Rex goes into being defeated and everything, he is never one to back off and surrender, so for him to surrender, it’s just painful. By Rex surrendering to him, I think it means he failed Ahsoka, and in the last episode. Rex calling Ahsoka kid, his younger sister, for him to fail her, is something Rex would have never ever wanted to do.

* This moment, is very Anakin and Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan did it at the battle of Christiopsis, and Anakin did it on Yerbana.

* The way every single one of the clones goes from at attention to aiming at Ahsoka and Rex is just terrifying. They are truly no longer human, and are droids.

* These soldiers who chose to be with Ahsoka on this ship, and chose to fight along side her at the Siege of Mandalore, are in the end wearing her markings and holding her at gunpoint.

* When Rex says the order was to execute the Jedi in all fairness its a fair point. She’s not a Jedi.

* But in the end, Ahsoka was an important person in Anakin’s life, so in order for her to not interfere with Sidious’s plans, she had to be eliminated.

* This whole scene with Rex and Jesse is just so heartbreaking because after everything Jesse went through, he still couldn’t catch a break

* Rex was most likely worried sick when he found out Maul took Jesse.

* Jesse was tortured by Maul and we all through something horrible was going to happen to him with Maul. The Satine and Obi-Wan scene was HUGLY paralleling the scene when Jesse goes back to Rex.

* But then when Rex thought him and Jesse would be finally okay, Order 66 happens.

* And Rex’s brother, one of his closest, turned on him.

* It’s such a bittersweet moment, because Rex is stalling, and him no longer being a commander is just iconic. He wanted to stay a captain so he could be on the front lines.

* In this moment, Vaders theme I think is slowed down.

* It’s such a tense moment with hundreds of clones ready to fire at Ahsoka and Rex, and with the ship going down too, the anxiety in both of Ahsoka and Rex is very prominent

* Ahsoka’s plan of dropping the clones under with the help of the droids is so smart. It allows her to have the upper hand while they recover.

* And even with hundreds of clones, she is still not wanting to kill a single one.

* Ahsoka is ready to kill Maul.

* She spared him and did what the council wanted. But now with for all Ahsoka knows the order crumbling in every moment, Maul is going to hinder her, and she can’t allow that.

* So when Maul says “You wanted this chaos” It’s brilliant because she really did, but because she could defeat Maul, she underestimated the clones potential to stop/kill him.

* I love how RG-G1 (the black and gold droid) almost laughed at the fact the clones were locked out of the control panel.

* Watching Maul start to get away and seeing how clone the ship was to the surface is terrifying. You know what is going to come, and although we know both Ahsoka and Rex’s fate, we are still on the edge of our seats.

* It’s such a Vader & Starkiller, Maybe even Rey moment, when Ahsoka is using the force to pull back the ship.

* It truly just shows how powerful she is.

* During the first battle of Felucia, after Ahsoka got carried away and realized that she was going to be overrun and as Anakin said “You just don’t see it yet”. Once they got back to the temple and go over what happened with the Jedi Council,

* Anakin talks about how he forgot how young Ahsoka was because of how powerful she is.

* From the beginning Ahsoka has always been powerful with the force.

* She was at first thought to be from Anakin himself, “aren’t you too young to be a padawan” which Ahsoka replies that “Master Yoda thinks I’m ready”

* This was just another moment that showed some of her true potential. Her power is the reason why she was assigned to Anakin and not to Obi-Wan. She needed someone as/more powerful than her to give her the best jedi training possible.

* Version of imperial march is there when Ahsoka is really starting to pull when Rex grabs onto Ahsoka.

* When she sees R7 get shot down, that loss hits, her hard and she loses focus for a second because this droid had been with her from the Battle of Ryloth, her first proper mission in a starfighter.

* Then when Rex gets shot, thats just when for her it clicks that she can’t lose anyone else.

* Up until this point She had lost Kalifa (Jedi Lost- Trandosion arc) Master Piell, Tryla (Carlac), Steela Gerrera, Barriss, Anakin, Plo, and everyone who lost faith in her for leaving the order.

* Rex was the only person that after everything, he refused to give up on her. He saw her for who she was, and not for being in the order, but as a person who fought alongside him in the Clone War.

* Rex was the last person Ahsoka had left, and so when he got shot, she couldn’t let him die in exchange for Maul.

* When we see Maul leave, the sight of how close the ship is to the surface is terrifying. They are running out of time, but Ahsoka can save her friend for the time being.

* Ahsoka isn’t breaking a sweat. She’s doing everything in her power to protect herself and Rex.

* Anakin taught her everything she needed to know to survive. “When I was out there, alone, all I had was your training and the lessons you taught me. And because of you, I did survive. And not only that, I was able to lead others to survive as well.” And she was able to allow Rex to survive.

* The way she cuts the ground to save both herself and Rex is genius. They can’t go up so they might as well go down.

* It’s very much an Anakin moment with her not telling Rex what she Is going to do.

* As Rex and Ahsoka gain their footing from that drop, and we see how close they are getting to the surface, if you listen closely, we get duel of the fates in a higher key.

* The music just escalates as we see the clones who were brought to the bottom are all ready to fire on Ahsoka and Rex.

* Cheep and RG try to save Rex and Ahsoka by bringing the clones back up, which ultimately lead to their demise.

* This is the first time we have seen a droid be murdered. Because Cheep and RG were helping Ahsoka and Rex, just like if they were human, they were murdered in cold blood.

* When Ahsoka gets shot again, in that moment you can really tell she’s starting to get tired. She has been fighting non stop for quite a bit now and like any person its taking a toll on her, but her persistence to survive is what gets her through the next few moments.

* The music gets more intense and slivers of duel of the fates kick into action. When she makes that jump just before she throws Rex, the keys as ROTS starts in Race you to the top play and its just a beautiful cinematic parallel.

* She’s really starting to struggle now. It’s just her against hundreds of clones.

* And the ship really starts to take a turn for the worse.

* Rex is clearly terrified for Ahsoka once the ship starts to really deteriorate, and as Ahsoka jumps to get into the Y-Wing, it’s almost too late. The ship is falling apart.

* But Rex isn’t giving up on her. He never has and never will.

* And as she looses her grip on the ship, more notes from Race you to the surface kick in.

* The way she falls but catches herself while running just shows how determined she is to stay alive. She knows that all, or believes that all Jedi have died in this order and she is the only survivor. She can’t let the history and the hope with the Jedi die with this war. She can’t let Rex die alone, so she keeps going.

* While she’s running it just really shows how MASSIVE these ships are in comparison to a person. They are just gigantic.

* Ahsoka and Rex truly got out on the very last second.

* This war has taken a toll on both of them. That fight took a toll. They just fought tooth and bone against their brothers in an effort to survive. Every single one of those clones was ready to give up their lives if it meant for Ahsoka and Rex to die.

* The silence from when they get into the Y-Wing is just perfect. We don’t need any dialogue to represent how powerful this moment is. No words are needed to explain how painful this moment was. After everything Ahsoka and Rex had went through, no words were needed.

* The ship is completely destroyed and same with the republic/grand army of the republic. We even see the Open Circle Fleet logo.

* Ahsoka and Rex are surrounded by the ruins and graves of everything they tried to save. They tried so hard to save the clones. The Jedi tried to save the galaxy. None of them could save the thing they wanted to most.

* Everything Ahsoka and Rex had fought for died. There was so much hope for their futures. Ahsoka talking with Yoda- she could have come back into the order, and she could have been happy.

* Ahsoka and Rex took the time to find R7, and as many clones as they could find. They didn’t JUST put the helmets on the sticks, she buried the bodies of the clones. Every single one they could find.

* These were clones that chose to fight with her. They chose to serve Ahsoka in the Siege of Mandalore.

* The entire planet is shown in more earth-colored tones, lots of browns and tans. It tells us exactly what her and Rex’s mood is, that there is warmth still there, but it’s been dulled and grayed out, she’s devastated and numb, everything she worked so incredibly hard to save is in ashes. Everything she loved is dead or lost.

* She cloaked in Grey, which parallels her in the end of Rebels with the white cloak. Similar to Gandalf, which ( I have confirmation from Dave, this WAS INTENTIONAL)

* She is looking over all the death and destruction from the end of the Clone War. “She was alone, something she was never meant to be”

* As we pan to the Clones helmets up close, we see all of these clones that fought for Ahsoka and chose to be with her until the very end.

* And then we get Jesse.

* A clone who had been fighting alongside her and Anakin since he became a proper clone. He was the last remaining member of the domino squad, who had been through so much, from Umbara to Maul, and then was just another clone. Made to follow order 66 and be expendable.

* Ahsoka’s theme plays.

* so the last time ahsoka’s theme plays (the classic six-note melody) when she lets go of her sabers, it never actually resolves to its sixth and last note—the melody left hanging and incomplete, and it just fades away, just like how this chapter of ahsoka’s life has been abruptly and cruelly cut off because of Palpatine and order 66. Go to 1:42 https://open.spotify.com/track/2EgVDzhE9yBHO7DgMdWCwk?si=z7rGUvqXR6Gd6iCSeFfiPg

* She took the time to bury every single one, so they could have an end of their story, but because of their deaths Ahsoka couldn't with hers, and the music having her theme play unfinished just futures that. She could have come back into the order. She could have saved Anakin. She could have been able to have a peaceful life at the temple with Anakin and Obi-Wan and all of the other Jedi. She could have been able to peacefully explore her potential of being the physical light side embodiment of the force. It's not just the tragedy of Anakin Skywalker. It's the tragedy of everyone he ever cared about too, and them having to face the consequences of his actions.

* She then hesitates to leave her lightsaber. That moment of hesitation before she drops it, that this is so hard for her to let go of, the last piece of Anakin that she had, the last piece of the Jedi that she had. The Jedi Order that she wanted to go back to someday, but they’re gone now. Her connection to them is gone, just like her connection to anything of the Republic. The one thing Anakin had told her and had been consistent from the start, to never lose it. “Your lightsaber is your life. Don’t lose it”

* Ahsoka drops it because she has no hope anymore, she believes Anakin is dead.

* And in this moment Ahsoka Tano died on that moon. Just like Obi-Wan and Anakin did on Mustafar.

* She had to leave everything behind, including her lightsaber. All her hopes for the future, her connections to the people she cared about, the things she wanted to do, her name, everything that made her her. She would go into hiding, become Ashla, and just try to survive.

* Theres no hope. Absolutely no hope for Ashla and Rex.

* This is the first time and the last in the Clone Wars we see that kind of transition of fading out.

* The music that plays is just so sinister. It makes you feel cold, and eludes to the fact that Vader is now there and not Anakin, but yet, it also doesn’t feel like Vader.

* literally every other film depiction of Darth Vader is something very simple, but the way he moves, is just different. He doesn’t’ move like any version we have seen of Vader. He moves like Anakin Skywalker.

* In contrast to what was said about where Ahsoka was, its a frozen wasteland, cold and empty just like Vader.

* “Everything is bleached out. Everything is pretty stark. Everything’s washed away color-wise, which is what George did it at the end of Revenge of the Sith. A lot of things I do are just ways of taking what George did and reasserting them, enhancing them, showing that this is what his half of Star Wars is about, ultimately, and how the heroes will prevail through it, despite all of the wickedness of the enemy.” - Dave Filoni

* And thats what the dark side is. It’s cold. It’s empty.

* In Rebels Ezra shivers from it when he feels a wave of it crash over him, people who are falling into it suddenly feel cold inside, despite that it’s perfectly warm outside.

* It just shows how lost he is. How there were warm yet cold colors with Ahsoka. She’s held onto the light, she’ll return to it when she’s had time to heal, but Anakin has fully embraced it.

* The cruiser is frozen over. Vader walking through the ruins.

* Hearing Vaders breathing is just horrifying. Never have we heard in the clone wars, such a breathtaking sound.

* Ahsoka’s lightsaber.

* This lightsaber is frozen in memory.

* He cradles it in his hand, brushing the snow away again with the other.

* When Anakin goes also to pick up Ahsoka’s saber, its a perfect parallel to Obi-Wan picking up Anakin’s saber.

* Then, inexplicably, he flicks it on and we see Vader wielding a blue lightsaber for the very last time onscreen. Who knows why he turned it on. Maybe he couldn’t quite believe it was Ahsoka’s and that she’d lost it once more. Because he always taught her that “this weapon is your life.”

* Maybe he was testing to see if it still worked or if the color was still that brilliant blue he tweaked it into.

* We then see Vader look to Morai.

* We see the eyes of Anakin. NOT Vader. We see Anakin Skywalker again. The last time in the Clone Wars.

* It’s a clear parallel to Twilight of the Apprentice when Ahsoka destroys the side of his mask with her ‘sabre and Anakin leaks through.

* It’s so, so obviously clear that he still loves Ahsoka in this moment. That Ahsoka still brings out the good in him.

* That this is, awfully, their final goodbye as they knew each other.

* We always read about how Ahsoka and the Convor are linked and how it’s really Ahsoka and the Light Side of the Force that’s linked.

* But I don’t think we’ve ever really seen anything about how Anakin is linked to the Convor and Ahsoka.

* The thing is, I think the Convor also represents the link between Anakin and Ahsoka.

* During the Mortis Arc, Ahsoka essentially dies. The Son kills her, inadvertently mortally wounding his own sister in the process. As the Father grieves, Anakin rushes over to Ahsoka and pleads with the Father. But Anakin in the moment is the one who is the conduit of the Daughter’s life-force as its transferred to Ahsoka.

* Right after the Mortis Arc, Ahsoka gets kidnapped. It’s the first time she’s ever really been alone and forced to fight to survive. But she manages it, despite the other Padawans on the island giving up or succumbing to their fate. Again, out of everyone, Ahsoka survives. This is also the first time we see the convorees.

* During this arc, Anakin is left alone, as well. Fearful and lost, he worries for Ahsoka, but Plo, the Master who found Ahsoka in the first place, guides him. “What is Ahsoka’s strength?” Plo asks him.“She is fearless,” Anakin replies. “That can also be a weakness. Is she a worthy apprentice?” “No one has her kind of determination.”“Except you.”“I’ll find her.”“This may not be within your power.”“Whatever you’re trying to say Master Plo, just say it!”“I am suggesting that perhaps if you have trained her well, she’ll take care of herself and find a way back to you.” This, again, is so, so important. “Except you,” Plo says.

* No one has Ahsoka’s determination except for Anakin. No one has her hope except for him. Ahsoka was already a wonderful, resilient person, but Anakin brought it out in her. He taught her, guided her, and now those lessons must guide her as she faces the world alone. This is only reiterated when Anakin and Ahsoka reunite.

* “Ahsoka, I am so sorry,” “For what?”“For letting you go, for letting you get taken. It was my fault.”“No, Master, it wasn’t your fault.”“I should’ve paid more attention. I should’ve tried harder. I…”“You already did everything you could, everything you had to do. When I was out there, alone, all I had was your training and the lessons you taught me. And because of you, I did survive. And not only that, I was able to lead others to survive as well.”

* Thats a huge recurring theme in Star Wars. Ahsoka preservers and survives. She saves and guides people. Ahsoka will always be Anakin’s Padawan, his legacy.

* She embodies all his best qualities, including, of course, his ever-lingering hope.

* And that is one of the reasons why Ahsoka is so important: Anakin’s goodness lives on within her. Of course she is her own person, I wouldn’t love her as much as I do if she wasn’t, but being Anakin Skywalker’s Padawan shaped her into the woman we know today.

* “You never would have made it as Obi-Wan’s Padawan,” Anakin told her in that very first movie so many years ago. “But you might make it as mine.”That has never been more true.If Ahsoka had been Obi-Wan’s Padawan, she’d be dead along with the rest of the Order. If she’d been Obi-Wan’s Padawan, yes she’d be skilled, and yes she would have learned to persevere throughout hardship— But there’s a certain passion for life and hope in Anakin that Obi-Wan simply doesn’t possess.

* Ahsoka inherited that from him.So now we circle back to the convor. In various cultures owls represent death and wisdom. Filoni has even confirmed that in the Star Wars universe, it is the same. This isn’t surprising when Anakin and Ahsoka are constantly facing off death and rising above it, becoming wiser because of it. And, horribly, I’m reminded that this finale is the death of them. They cannot be who they once were, and they cannot be to each other who they once were. But owls can also represent luck and good fortune.

* “Master Kenobi always said there’s no such thing as luck.”“Good thing I taught you otherwise.”

* All throughout her life, Anakin’s lessons and influence guide her, and after the Mortis Arc in moments of great struggle: a convor appears. What I’m trying to say, I suppose, is that the convor not only symbolizes the Light Side of the Force. It also symbolizes Anakin Skywalker.

* And maybe that’s because Anakin Skywalker does embody the Light Side of the Force. Despite everything he goes through and everything he does, Anakin Skywalker clutches onto that bit of hope and comes back to the Light. He brings Balance to the Force.

* The convor lingers above Anakin at the end of the Clone Wars after Ahsoka has survived despite the odds. It appears again after their duel in Twilight of the Apprentice. Morai watches Anakin limp out of the Temple, and then returns to Ahsoka after guiding her back from the World Between Worlds. After guiding her back to Anakin.

* “I am suggesting that perhaps if you have trained her well, she’ll take care of herself and find a way back to you,” Plo told Anakin that first time Ahsoka was lost. And he’s right. Ahsoka does find her way back. Again and again and again.

* She loves him. He’s her brother and he taught her everything he knew, and she survives because of it. Ahsoka won’t ever let that bit of Anakin go. She won’t ever lose sight of the good in him, or in anyone else.

* “I won’t leave you,” she promises him. “Not this time.”

* It’s more a promise of hope than anything else. A declaration of loyalty and determination and love. She still believes in him, and she wants, no needs him to know that.

* we talk a lot about how the Daughter and Ahsoka are connected through the convor, but we never talk about how Anakin was that conduit in the first place. The Light and life flowed through him into Ahsoka and so she survived.

* In the moments when Anakin holds Ahsoka’s saber it points him towards the light, and TOWARDS Morai, and we see him for who he is, and who he will become.

* Ahsoka has survived through Anakin. And she continues to survive. And maybe it’s still making me cry as I write this, but we know how this story ends, and we’re reminded when Anakin, not Vader, looks up into the sky, Ahsoka’s lightsaber in hand and watches Morai circle above. Star Wars is about hope. It always has been. Despite everything they’ve gone through, there is hope for Anakin Skywalker. And there is hope for Ahsoka Tano, too.

* Vader takes the lightsaber it with him, just like he did with Obi-Wans years later. but even more symbolically–the helmet that has her markings on it, the helmet of a clone trooper of the Republic, with Vader’s reflection walking away from it, forgotten and left behind in the snow, as dead as everything else.

* The last shot we are given of the Clone Wars ever is of the trooper helmet with Ahsoka’s markings and Vader in the shadow.

* It’s the last thing ever we get of the clone wars and represents everything the Clone Wars was about.

* It was about Ahsoka and Rex’s story, and the tie into the fall of Anakin Skywalker.

* Dave Filoni did everything he intended to do with these last episodes. To give us the ending we didn’t just want, but the ending that we deserved.

* Star Wars has always been about hope. Every Star Wars anything has ended on hope, even RotS has hope! (Luke and Leia)

* The audience knows what will happen and that there is hope..

* But Ahsoka and Rex don’t know that. Theres no hope for them.

* This is the first time in Star Wars that something has closed on a Hopeless note.

I would be lying to you if I told you I didn’t cry every time writing a piece of this, and that I wouldn’t be here without the Clone Wars. I would be lying if I said that I won’t ever get over this ending, and I won’t. But the fact that we have an ending, and a really solid one, is everything I need.

#ahsoka tano #ahsoka #star wars #victory and death #clone wars

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ddaenggtan · 5 years ago

Text

hearts on fire | jhs

Hoseok has been in love with you for as long as he can remember, and he’s beyond excited to see you married and glowing.

He just really wishes that he was the groom.

pairing | jhs x reader, knj x reader

word count | 6.5k | cross posted to ao3

genre | angst, light fluff

warnings | angst, mentions of blood, mentions of vomit, lots of choking, lots of angst, this is open ended so like.......potential (?) mcd??, like this is very very very open ended yall there is no happy ending and there is zero satisfaction at the end, like it’s truly just here to hurt you

a/n | part of Outro: Tear, The Angst Now Told, and you should really read all of those fics bc they hurt so good but they’re sO WORTH IT, and i’m shouting out to @personawife not only for betaing this, but also for putting the Outro Tear Angst Collab together, because it’s been so fun!!!!! and yet so painful!!!! in so many good ways!!!!!!! this was honestly really fun to write, mostly because it’s rare that i write angst - unhappy ending angst, at that - so it was nice to stretch my creative muscles.

also go stream ego bc its wonderful and i love it

It starts, as most things do, with a kiss.

It was innocent enough - just a soft peck on his cheek and a sunflower in his hand while he cried about another student kicking him in the shin. To this day he can’t be sure what it was that did it for him. Maybe it was the way the sunlight lit up the barrettes in your hair and made them glint like stars. Maybe it was the way you hadn’t hesitated to smooch him on the cheek and give him the flower you’d picked out of a vase just to cheer him up. Maybe it was the fact that it had worked when nothing else had. Maybe it was none of that, instead something bigger altogether and more complicated than he could ever understand.

Or maybe it was all of it. A simple act that led to a simple reaction - him taking your hand and making you smile with some face he made - that led to this moment.

Either way, Hoseok decides as he watches you walk down the aisle in the off-white dress with the golden sash that perfectly matches the sunflowers in your hands, he doesn’t care. Because it all led to this moment.

[then]

“C’mon, we’re gonna be late!” You call over your shoulder. Hoseok laughs, wrapping his hand around your wrist to slow you down from your sprint.

“We are not going to be late,” He tells you firmly. Your lips form a pout that he wishes he could kiss away, but he resists the urge. Instead, he grins and pulls you into a warm hug. “It’s not like they’re going to start our graduation without us, Starshine. It would be a little conspicuous, don’t you think?”

“Ooh, conspicuous, big word! All that studying paid off, I see.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes; he doesn’t mention that he’s been studying his ass off ever since you started crushing on one of the bookworms in the school. He refuses to acknowledge to himself that he did it in the futile hope that it would make you notice him.

“Hey, it was worth it! Got me into that fancy university, didn’t it?” He wags his brows and lets go of you, and he does his best not to let his arms linger around your waist for longer than they need to be there.

“Yeah, that fancy university that’s a million miles away from here,” You complain. His smile falters a little, and he covers it with a dramatic gasp.

“What’s this? Is my little starshine going to miss me?” He doesn’t tell you about the packet laying on his desk at home, about the scholarships he’s scoured the internet to find, about the decision he has yet to make, despite the looming deadline. He doesn’t mention the sunflower pressed between the pages of a book that sits beside his bed, so he can stare at it each night as he wonders whether it’s stupid to take the harder road just for love.

“You know I will, Hobi,” You tell him. You curl into his side, lacing your fingers with his. “You’re my best friend in the whole world. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. Who’s going to make me study when I don’t want to? Or convince me that getting pancakes at two in the morning is a proper breakfast?”

Hoseok shakes his head. He knows exactly what will happen when you head off to school in a few months. You’ll meet so many new people, make boatloads of friends, create new memories and new jokes and new references, and he’ll be standing off to the side, waiting to hear about all of it.

He can’t wait to watch you flourish.

“Who’s going to help you stop stressing out about your choreography, or your routines?” You ask. Your voice dips into a whisper, and it’s the most scared he’s ever heard you. “Who’s going to be there when I need someone?”

He knows what you mean; he knows all about the anxiety that wracks your body every so often, the way your brain spirals and panics and can’t seem to bring itself down out of red alert. He remembers - in vivid detail - all the nights he’s climbed through your window to help you breathe in that rhythm your school counselor taught you, or just talked at you through the phone about some new song or dancer he found until he eventually heard your soft laugh.

He remembers the nights you called and called and called and eventually just sought him out, not even bothering to knock as you barged into his room because his parents adore you and don’t care to let you in whenever. You’re like a second daughter to them, something his sister gives him no end of grief about. He’ll always remember the way your hands felt against his skin as you tugged him out of his room and into the kitchen to make some kind of monstrosity, just throwing anything and everything into a blender or skillet, only to wind up going out to the corner store to get noodles anyway.

“I’ll be here,” He tells you. His voice is as soft and firm as his fingers as he brings your chin up to face him. He wants you to look at him, wants you to maybe see after all these years just how easy it would be for him to move the earth if you asked him to. “I’ll always be here for you.”

Your eyes search for something in his, and he wonders if you’ll finally realize. If he’s finally told you about every single pang of love that he’s ever felt without even needing words.

You smile, your eyes crinkling at the corners, and playfully shove at his shoulder. “Not when you’re off at your fancy university a million miles away from mine.”

He covers the heartbreak with a deep sigh and slings his arm around your shoulders as you head into the building where your graduation is being held. He wonders what you’ll think of the sunflowers sitting on your chair, waiting for you to find them.

Something tickles his throat, a hint of a cough not ready to be cleared, and he swallows it back.

“About that…”

[then]

Asthma is what he tells you, months and months later while you both sit in your dorm room, curled under blankets.

You’re preparing for your philosophy paper, pages and sheets and everything else strewn about your bed while he sits at your desk. The lamp is focused and bright as it shines on the metal and stone in his hands, glinting as he twists the wire this way and that.

“Aren’t you supposed to be studying for your dance eval?” You ask him. He shoots you that half-smile, a quick glance so that he can finish wrapping the quartz in his palm. He hasn’t told you that he switched majors, that he’s now ‘undecided’ simply because he can’t keep up with the others anymore.

“Aren’t you supposed to telling me who made it their mission to disprove Kant’s entire career?”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to,” You pout. He smiles, satisfied, at the stone in his hand; it’s wrapped in wire shaped to look like a tree. He never thought he’d be the jewelry-making kind, but thanks to a randomly-selected elective, he’s discovered he’s got a knack for it.

Besides, he enjoys seeing the collection on your windowsill grow with each new thing he can make you.

He extends the quartz to you - a polished golden one that complements the tarnished brass he’d used to wrap it, the same colors as the flowers you love so much - and the way you light up as you take it makes his heart clench painfully.

Something tickles his throat, too familiar now, and he does what he can to swallow it down, but this one is stubborn. It forces its way up his windpipe, giving him no choice but to try to cough it up.

You watch, worried, as he rushes to the sink in your room, bending as far over it as possible so that you won’t see as much.

It’s small, when it falls. Small and unassuming and spit-slick, he can almost believe it just fell out of the vase of them nearby, and he hopes that’s what you’ll believe as well.

“Hobi?”

He hates how small your voice is, how worried you sound as you listen to the ragged pants of his breathing. So he wipes his mouth, checks in the mirror to make sure there’s no blood, and turns back to you with a wry smile.

“I’m fine,” He says softly. His voice is still hoarse, and you don’t look convinced, but he continues before you can argue. “Just asthma.”

“Asthma? You don’t have asthma, Hoseok-”

“I do,” He says quickly. “Developed recently. Strained myself too hard, weakened my lungs, or something. I don’t remember what the doctor said exactly.”

“But...your dance, how can you-” You cut yourself off with a sharp breath, and he can’t bear to see the heartbreak in your eyes as the realization hits, so he stares down at the scuff in his sneakers instead. “That’s why you aren’t practicing right now. You had to drop out of the dance program?”

You sound like you’re on the verge of tears, so he plasters a smile on his face that’s more convincing than anything else he’s ever done.

“It’s fine, Starshine. Not all dreams come true. Besides, there’s other things I can do.”

“But your scholarship, Hobi, I-”

“Already figured out,” He says quickly. It isn’t, not nearly, because he can’t just call his parents to say ‘hey I lost my scholarship because I’m hopelessly in love but don’t have the guts to say anything about it’ and he hasn’t had time to go visit them, either. The corners of your mouth are turned down, and your lips are pressed together, and it’s obvious you’re upset, and it hurts more than the roots tangling in his lungs.

He crosses the room and slides some of your papers to the side so that he can sit across from you. You’re still holding the quartz in your palm, fingers wrapped gently around it like you’re afraid it’ll break if you squeeze too tight, so he wraps his own hands around that one of yours.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” You ask him. Your voice is small and hurt, and he hates that he made it that way, but he knows it’s better than what would come if he told you the truth.

“Because I didn’t want you to worry,” He replies quietly. “You’ve got exams and studying and papers to worry about. I don’t need to add to that. Besides, you’d just try to help somehow, and you do that enough as it is.”

“How could I possibly be helping you with this, Hoseok?” The look you give him is familiar and humorless and fond and it makes his throat tickle so he looks away. Stares down at the feather-soft blanket in your lap instead.

“Just by being here,” He tells you. “Distracting me from it. It’s not important, that’s all. I can do other things.”

“Like what? Dancing has always been your dream, and now-”

“Like,” Hoseok interrupts, sliding the quartz from your hand and placing it with the other things he’s made you on the windowsill, “Making things, like this. For you. For everyone.”

You’re quiet for a minute. Your eyes linger on the collection of stones he’s decorated for you, that he’s worked on so carefully to make them as beautiful as you deserve, and he wonders if you can tell.

If you can see it in every careful twist of wire, in the way his hands are always so gentle against your own, in the way he can’t bear to look at you for longer than a few moments but can’t bear to be away from you in the same way.

“Well,” You eventually say, blinking back what might be tears. “I suppose we’ll just have to find you a new dream, then, won’t we?”

Your smile is weak and watery and doesn’t reach your eyes, but it’s still a smile. So he returns it, and locks his pinky with yours, and vows to himself to make sure you never cry for him again.

[then]

"What is that?"

Hoseok looks up from the book he's got propped against the table. He hasn't been paying much attention to the conversation, too engrossed in the metalworking book his glassblowing professor gave him while you studied for an upcoming test, so your words surprise him.

"What's what?" He asks, looking around the cafeteria as if he can magically spot whatever it is you're talking about.

" That ," you repeat, stabbing towards him with your pencil. It's reflex that brings his hand up to his chest, and it's realization that has him clutching the pendant tightly, praying you hadn't really seen it.

"Nothing," he says quickly, tucking it back under his shirt where it's supposed to be. "Just a practice thing."

"Why won't you show me?" You pout. "You always show me your practice work."

"Yeah, because you always take it," He quips back with a laugh. You don't even try to argue, because you both know it's true. The collection on your windowsill has grown immeasurably over the last two years, and it makes Hoseok's heart stutter every time he lets himself consider why you keep all of them. Especially when some are so terrible.

"Seriously, Hobi, can I see?"

He starts to say no, because if there's one piece he's ever made that could tell you about his feelings, it's this. He should say no, should insist this once that you can't see it, but before he can, his hands are pulling the chain over his head and setting the entire thing gently in your palm.

He watches your mouth fall open and your eyes grow wide and he wonders.

He wonders what you see among the curl of metal; if the fact that he would do anything for you is obvious in the way it twists and turns on itself, looping around and around. He wonders if you can see, hidden between letters, how just being near you gets him through every day and makes it all worth it. He wonders if you'll be able to tell, between the pressed yellow petals, just how his chest aches; if you've put the pieces together, after so long, now that you're holding his heart so openly in your palm.

"'Remedy,'" You read, and Hoseok's heart jumps into his throat, even when he knows you don't know about it. "And some tulip petals? It's so gorgeous, Hobi, but what does it mean?"

"They're sunflowers," He corrects, almost scandalized that you could confuse the two. The petals are shortened, of course, cut so that they'll fit into the pendant without obstructing the text in the back, but still. "And it doesn't mean anything. Just something I wrote once in high school."

Your eyes light up. "You mean that poem you never let me read?"

"It was a song, actually," He mutters, but your attention is back on the necklace, looking for any hints about the secrets he keeps. Something soft tickles the back of his throat when you glance up at him and smile, the light glinting just right along the stones and casting golden beams along your features.

You look more beautiful than he's ever seen, and his chest aches with more than just the flowers taking root there.

"This is really gorgeous, Hobi," You tell him as you watch the way the light reflects through the amber beads along the edge.

"Yeah," He whispers as he watches you, drinking in the way your eyes widen in awe and the soft smile on your lips. "It is, isn't it?"

He wishes that moment could last forever, that he could tuck it away into a pocket and pull it out whenever he needs it, but he can feel the flower starting to work its way up his throat and he doesn't know how to hide that from you.

The coughs start right as someone calls out your name and his, and he tucks his chin into his elbow in an effort to hide it. He doesn't bother to look yet, just waves a hand as someone sits beside you, and by the time he's got the handful of petals tucked safely away in his pocket, you're deep in conversation with Namjoon about one of the classes the two of you are taking.

[now]

Hoseok decides, looking at you now, that you are happier than ever.

You've said your vows and you've cried several happy tears and you've kissed more times than he can count, but you're still radiant. It's the glow of contentment, the promise of more to come, all coalescing to shine like stars in your eyes.

"May I, Starshine?" He asks, extending a hand and pulling you away from your current dance partner. Yoongi doesn't look too upset about it, just smiles knowingly at you both as your hand folds into Hoseok's.

You move with him as if it's second nature, and Hoseok supposes that it is , at this point. As many times as he held you this way while teaching you the steps, as often as he led you through them before today, you should be able to move out of sheer muscle memory.

"Have I told you yet that you're sparkling, Starshine?" He asks, smiling along with you when you laugh.

"I think that you're confusing me and the ring again, Hobi."

On cue, he looks down at it. He spent so long on it, years of dreaming of what it may look like and months of trial and error and practice runs before he got it right. It was worth it, though; the ring does sparkle, takes the glow of your skin and the joy in your smile and amplifies it.

Crafted to look like a sunflower itself, the ring is easily the most expensive thing he's ever made. Each petal sparkles with the same yellow quartz of that stone he gave you so long ago, and set into the middle is one large chocolate diamond that he spent entirely too much money on because it was already cut exactly the way he needed it. He'll never forget the way you cried when you saw it the first time.

Hoseok's eyes meet yours, and he frowns at the tears he sees there.

"Hey, none of that, Starshine. It's a happy day, remember?" He stops moving in the middle of the dance floor, hands moving to wipe your tears before they can fall.

"I just...I'm so happy Hobi." He grins at your words, resisting the urge to poke fun, because of course you're happy. You just got married.

You look up at him again, eyes still watery and he pulls you into a tight hug.

"I love you so much, Hobi," you mutter against his chest. His heart flutters in his chest as he resists the urge to press his lips to yours right where you stand.

"Yeah," He whispers. "Yeah, I love you too, Starshine."

Someone taps him on the shoulder and he releases you, relinquishing his grasp on you so you can dance with Namjoon. The pendant around your neck sits beautifully, shadowed on either side by the white of the cloth, and he thinks for just a moment, that maybe he made that pendant for you, after all.

He's worn it for years, of course, but the smile on your face when he slid it around your neck was worth it. It was worth being asked if you could have it, not entirely joking, and it was worth every single time you would fiddle with it during movie marathons, and it was worth every single night he held it in his clutched palm as he sat over the sink and coughed up the yellow blooms that you've strung up all over the reception hall.

very day that you bugged him about it, how you asked every day without fail if you could have it. He knew you were kidding - mostly - but the light in your eyes when he finally gave it to you before the wedding today is something he’ll remember for the rest of his life, no matter what the future holds for him.

It ends, as most things do, with a conversation.

It was innocent enough - just a phone ringing in its place on the worktable and his hands covered in clay while he struggled to hit the screen with his elbow. To this day he can’t be sure what it was that he missed, exactly. Maybe it was the way that you’d been calling him less and less in the middle of the night. Maybe it was the way you hadn’t noticed that he’d been spending too much time in the studio, pouring his soul into every shape he crafts and wire he twists while he chokes down petals. Maybe it was the classes the two of you shared and the projects you worked on together, that he assumed was friendly and not anything more. Maybe it was all of that, everything working in tandem in a way that he could never understand.

Or maybe it was none of it. Simple acts that led to simple reactions - being too busy for each other, not talking as often, coughing up sunflower petals - that all led to that moment.

Either way, Hoseok decides as he watches the heart-shaped vase spin aimlessly on its wheel while you cry tears of joy through the phone because he finally - finally - asked you out, he can’t care.

[then]

Asthma? is what Jimin asks him, years later when they’re both locked in Hoseok’s newly renovated store, basically a hole in the wall that he saved and saved for with his online sales. Hoseok is curled over the workbench in the back, doing everything he can to catch the petals before Jimin can see them.

When they eventually subside, long enough for him to gulp down some water and shove the red-tinted petals off to the side in a pile that’s been steadily growing for weeks now, Hoseok shoots Jimin a self-deprecating smile.

He doesn’t even get a chance to lie to him.

“How long?” Jimin asks him. There’s no softness to his tone; it’s all hard edges and naked truths, and for once, the exhaustion overtakes Hoseok. He’s so sick of lying. He’s so sick of carrying an inhaler he doesn’t need, of shoving sunflower petals into every nook and cranny he can find so that no one sees them, and he just wants someone to know.

“Forever,” Hoseok answers simply. “As long as I can remember.”

“And you never said anything? Ever?”

Hoseok sighs, throat scratchy and raw, and he stares down at the ring he’s been fiddling with. “Would you?” He eventually says.

When he looks at Jimin, the other man has a petal of his own in between two fingers and rubs it absently, distractedly, like it’s habit. When he looks up, Hoseok understands, and an understanding passes between them.

Jimin goes back to the laptop perched in front of him while Hoseok continues to work on other orders, things less important than the ring burning a hole in his mind’s eye, begging to be made.

He isn’t ready, he tells himself. He isn’t skilled enough yet. Maybe one day.

“I’m getting the surgery,” Jimin says after a few hours of silence. Hoseok fumbles with the pliers in his hands, twists the wire the wrong way, and it all clatters to the tabletop. He doesn’t bother to catch it, either; he’s too busy staring at his best friend in shock.

“Seriously?” He breathes. Jimin nods, and the air rushes out of Hoseok in the span of a heartbeat.

Everyone knows about the surgery, just like everyone knows about hanahaki disease. It took years to develop and it’s the only known treatment, but there are always side effect. Always. Sometimes they’re minor, just losing your feelings of love for the person you have feelings for, or like the guy that just became allergic to the peonies that he had removed.

But then there are the others.

The people who lose the capacity to love altogether. The ones who never find anyone else, who never learn how to love another person, not like they loved the one that caused the flowers. Or the ones who just lose their emotions completely, and become essentially lifeless. Unable to feel love at all, or sadness, or grief, or joy, or excitement, or remorse, or anything. They just exist.

“But...the side effects-”

“Aren’t guaranteed,” Jimin interrupts. “Plenty of people get the procedure every day and walk away fine.”

“Yeah and some of them turn into lifeless machines!” Hoseok counters. Jimin’s expression hasn’t changed. He looks steadfast, decided, and he’s barely looking away from whatever work he’s doing on the laptop, and it infuriates Hoseok. “You’re gonna sign away any hope that you have, any chance that you have, because it...because it hurts?”

“No,” Jimin says as he closes the laptop and slides it to the side. “Because I’m tired, Hobi. I’m so tired, all the time. I’m tired of keeping it a secret, and I’m tired of puking my guts every time I think about-” Jimin cuts himself off and closes his eyes, tight, as he swallows.

When he opens them, Hoseok can see every emotion he’s ever had in Jimin’s eyes, and it makes his heart ache.

“Aren’t you tired, Hobi?”

Jimin’s voice is small, and weak, but it lingers in the air between them. It curls past Hoseok’s throat and then down to wrap around his chest, growing tighter and tighter with every breath. Neither of them break eye contact, and Hoseok wonders what Jimin sees in his face.

“Yeah,” Hoseok eventually says. With that, the spell is broken, and he can breathe again, and he drags his eyes away from Jimin to look at the piece he’d been working on instead. “But I can’t just...stop, y’know? I’ve loved her for basically my entire life. I can't...I don’t even know who I am without that.”

Jimin’s quiet for a long moment, and Hoseok thinks maybe he’s not going to say anything. Maybe he got through to Jimin, maybe he won’t get that surgery.

“Don’t you think that you should find out?”

[now]

Hoseok watches from across the room as Jimin spins you in a circle, both of you laughing brightly.

Jimin’s suit matches your dress wonderfully; Hoseok doesn’t think anyone else could quite pull off the pattern on it quite like Jimin does in such an effortless way. He looks happier than Hoseok has ever seen him, more content, more at home in his own skin.

He isn’t coughing, and he isn’t struggling, and everything worked out well for him. No more flowers in his lungs, no more lies to his friends, no more unrequited love left heavy in his heart. Just happiness and laughter and joy. Hoseok wonders if he’d be the same.

His thumb rubs absently across the business card in his pocket. It’s been there since Jimin handed it to him, what feels like forever ago now. It’s worn, and faded, and torn, and old, but the doctor is still practicing, just got recognized by the World Health Organization for his work. There’s an appointment reminder dinging in Hoseok’s phone, and a business card in his pocket, and he still doesn’t know if he’s even going to go, because you look so beautiful.

You’re surrounded by your flowers, and you’re glowing like the North Star, and he can’t keep his eyes off of you.

“She’s gorgeous, right?”

Hoseok turns and smiles at Namjoon. The man looks just as good, decked out in the best suit money can buy, with crinkles in the corner of his eyes and a dimple in his cheek as he grins.

“Yeah, she is,” He says. Emotions clog in his throat when he looks back at you only to find you looking his way. There’s love in your eyes and a soft, private smile on your lips, and it makes his chest tighten. “She looks really happy.”

“She does,” Namjoon agrees.

Across the room, you wiggle a finger, and the ring glints in the light. Hoseok stifles a laugh, and shakes his head.

“I can’t dance anymore, so this is all on you, big guy,” He tells Namjoon. The other man looks more than happy to take him up on the offer, grinning sheepishly as he sets his drink down to make his way to you.

You take Namjoon’s hand and pull him close as the music transitions into a slow dance. Namjoon presses his forehead against yours, and both your eyes close, and suddenly, Hoseok feels like he shouldn’t be watching. This feels private, intimate, in a way that he’s never been privy to.

His throat clenches and he can feel it in his throat.

He nearly drops his drink, but he gets to a table just in time to put the cup down with shaky hands. He knew, he knew what would happen. He clenches his jaw and heads through the side door of the event space, barely chancing a glance behind him. You don’t seem to have noticed, thankfully, but Hoseok makes eye contact with Jimin. The younger boy taps his wrist, and Hoseok just heads outside.

He doesn’t need Jimin to remind him that time is up.

[then]

“You need what?”

Namjoon’s smile turns shy at Hoseok’s tone. Of all the things that Hoseok could have anticipated Namjoon would ask him for, of all the potential items that he’s been commissioned by the taller man, this was never something he expected.

Though maybe he should have.

“-you know her better than anyone, y’know, and no one can craft like you, Hobi-”

The nickname sounds wrong, suddenly; like poison on Namjoon’s lips, but Hoseok just plasters on his smile again, the one he saves for truly difficult customers who try his patience, and he prays Namjoon doesn’t recognize it.

“No, I get it, yeah.”

“I just...it needs to be perfect. And you’re the only one that I trust to make it perfect.” Hoseok’s heart twinges in his chest, and he can feel the roots moving in his lungs. “I’ll pay you whatever you want, too, cost isn’t a factor, it just needs to be-”

“Perfect,” Hoseok finishes. Namjoon smiles again, sheepish, and nods. “It’s fine, I’ll make it. No charge.”

“Hobi, I can’t ask you to do that, not for free-”

“You didn’t,” Hoseok insists. “I’m offering. Consider it a...gift.” Namjoon’s smile is blinding, and he really must trust Hoseok with this, because he’s heading out just a few minutes after, already on the phone with you because the two of you are meeting for lunch.

He doesn’t know why he’s surprised. It makes sense. It’s been years. Isn’t that the usual time people start to expect this kind of thing?

A voice in the back of his head, bitter and cruel, tells him that he should have charged Namjoon. Should have made him pay an exorbitant amount, enough to keep the shop running through the months of the slow season, enough to help heal the wound in Hoseok’s heart, but he brushes it off. It wouldn’t have felt right, charging for this.

Not when he’s had the design sitting in his head since he wrapped that first stone with wire, since he first learned how to make this jewelry. Not when he’s had pages upon pages of designs drawn out for years, since before he even owned his own shop.

That was never his to design, though, he reminds himself as he heads into the workshop. He had no right to that design.

Just like he has no right to you.

[then]

Later, weeks and weeks later, In the darkness of his apartment, Hoseok cries.

Hoseok cries for all the things he’s never said, all the things he’ll never do, all of the things that you don’t know. He cries for the late nights together and the impromptu adventures and the panicked phone calls. He’s been so blind, he’s refused to see it, he knows. It’s all been waning, all put on the backburner in favor of him.

He’s the one you call when air can’t make it to your lungs. He’s the one you pull from work in the dead of night to make him sleep. He’s the one that gets to wraps his arms around you while you watch the newest episode of whatever show you’re obsessed with lately. It’s all him, and it will never be Hoseok, no matter how hard he wishes, because he’s too late.

He spent so long obsessed with maybe. Maybe you’ll love him back, maybe it’ll ruin the friendship, maybe you’ll realize. For years and years, he said maybe, and now it’s too late, because you’re going to be saying yes to another man’s question, and Hoseok will be left in the darkness, no longer able to look at the stars in your eyes because you’ll be looking at him.

For the first time in his life, Hoseok hates. He hates you for not realizing that he loves you; he hates Namjoon for taking the chance and asking you out; he hates the flowers growing in his chest that are just further proof that he’s alone in his feelings. Mostly, though…

Mostly, Hoseok hates himself, he realizes as he crumples against the wall of his living room. He hates himself for not taking the risk that Namjoon did, for not putting it all out there so that you could give him whatever kind of closure would come.

And it’s there, sitting on his floor, surrounded by the remains of too many projects that he spent too long on that you’ll now never see, that he first begins to consider it. Everyone knows about the surgery, everyone knows that you can get the flowers removed, but that it comes with a cost. He stares, past his tears, past the colorful crystal remnants at his feet, and he considers.

There’s already a numbness spreading through his body; it follows the same path as the roots of the flowers in his lungs, it runs parallel to the petals and seeds, and it only serves to highlight the painful ache that his feelings have caused. He’s already becoming numb to it, so why not? He may lose the ability to love forever, yes, but he can still be your friend. He can still watch you marry another man, this time without the itch in his throat and the flowers in his bile. So why shouldn’t he?

His phone rings, and he already knows it’s you. Not by the specialized ringtone - the only custom one in his entire contact list - and not by the blinking light that’s sure to wake him up in the middle of the night. No, he knows it’s you, because he knows that there’s no way Namjoon could have resisted the temptation to ask you tonight. He’s pictured what you’d look like a hundred thousand times, knows exactly how bright your smile would be as you said yes, how soft the tears would feel as he wiped them away, he knows.

And now you’re calling him, to tell him the great news, or maybe scold him for not giving you a heads up about it in the first place since he’s the one that made the ring. Either way, you’re on the other end of that ringing, ready to tell him about the happiest night of your life, and Hoseok can’t…

He can’t resist it. It’s autopilot as he drags himself to where his phone is still ringing, and it’s only after a deep and shaky breath that he answers it.

You don’t even give him time to speak for you’re launching into your squeals and happy giggles and how Namjoon did it, and Hoseok feels a reluctant smile cross his features. It only grows when you start to gush about the ring, complimenting his skill, and he can feel a bud trying to make its way up his throat, so he mutes his phone. He doesn’t want you to hear as he rushes to the kitchen sink, as he chokes and coughs and gags and eventually spits out a nearly whole sunflower.

It’s not a big one, maybe an inch or so in diameter, and not fully bloomed, but it’s there, and Hoseok knows it’s more of a death sentence than anything.

“Hobi? Are you there?”

He wipes his mouth and clears his throat and leaves the flower in the sink with its red-stained petals so that he can unmute his phone.

“Yeah, Starshine, I’m here.”

[now]

In the alley beside your wedding, Hoseok coughs. He coughs and he gags and he chokes, until the ground is littered with flower petals that aren’t from your bouquets, and blood drops and tears. He chokes until he can’t breathe anymore, until he has to reach in and pull the flower from his throat before he really does die, and it makes him shudder when he sees that it’s nearly fully formed, almost completely bloomed and everything.

He doesn’t think he’ll make it through the next one.

He stands up, wiping his mouth on the sleeve of the red suit he chose for this exact reason, and he looks through the window, to the space where you should be dancing with Namjoon.

You aren’t, though. You’re watching him, brows drawn together, confused, and you’re saying something that he can’t quite make out through the glass.

Fear strikes his heart. Fear that you saw everything, that you know everything, but directly after it comes relief, because he knows now. He knows what he needs to do, because he doesn’t think he can bear to have you watch him die, but he doesn’t think he can bear not to love you anymore, either; no matter what, he’s lost you, and that knowledge solidifies his decision. He holds a hand over his chest, and you mirror him, your fingers closing around the pendant he made so, so long ago.

You turn, looking for someone - Namjoon, maybe, or Jimin, to ask what’s wrong with him, and he takes the opportunity. He heads out of the alley, as fast as his legs can carry him, because he knows.

When you finally make it into the alley, you don’t understand. Your best friend, your best man, is nowhere to be found. In his wake are flower petals, drawn out by the wind.

One catches your eye, and you pick it up. It’s soft against your fingertips, and you frown when you see the red on it.

You don’t ever see Hoseok again.

#magicshopnet #ficswithluv #btswriterscollective #bangtanscenery #btswritersguild #bts fanfic #bts angst #bts fluff #j-hope fanfic #j-hope angst #hoseok fanfic #hoseok angst #hoseok fluff #hobi fanfic #hobi angst #hobi fluff #ddaenggtan

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raysofcrosby · 5 years ago

Text

LITTLE DO YOU KNOW PT. 12

"𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘬𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘶𝘱𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺." ━ 𝐉.𝐑.𝐑. 𝐓𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐞𝐧, 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠

gif credit (x)

series masterlist

requested: yes | no

warnings: nope.

word count: 6,844 [once again, unedited lol]

authors note: THIS IS IT!! the finale of my tyler seguin series– ‘little do you know!’ this series honestly started out as a little fic idea i wrote down in my notes app on a road trip this time last year. i didn’t think much would come of it and when i decided to post it on here, i figured it’d flame away. but yall literally took it to a whole ‘nother level and i love yall for that so so much. you’ve sent messages, reblogged, liked and it’s still mind-blowing to me. i’m so happy that you guys enjoyed this series as much as i’ve loved writing it– and while it saddens me that it’s over, i can’t wait to bring you guys more material. okok enough of my rambling, here’s the finale!

Don't trip, don't trip, don't trip

That was all that echoed through your mind the moment your name was called for you to receive your diploma. You hadn't even thought about that being a possibility until last night, at yours and Kennedy's joint graduation dinner, when your brothers brought up how funny it would be if the two of you face-planted in front of the huge crowd.

And when you crossed the stage with grace, taking in the cheers that followed your name as you stood beside the University President with your diploma in hand– you swore that this was the happiest moment of your life. When you got back to your seat and the rest of the names continued to get called, you couldn't help but spend that time, looking at your folder and thinking back on your last few months.

You rang in the new year at a team party hosted by the Stars organization that was attended by the team, the staff, and their friends and family. It was nice, coming off of an amazing Christmas spent with your family and being down in Dallas. You had left the city, days earlier in the worst amount of pain and dreaded having to come back to it once school started again. Yet being there, waiting for the ball to drop, surrounded by your parents, your friends and the Dallas Stars, was enough to make you forget all about that pain. And with Tyler on your arm, kissing you into the new year, you truly couldn't wait to see just what 2020 could bring into your life.

And if the Stars 4-2 Winter Classic win over Nashville wasn't a sign of the good that the Universe planned to come your way– well, you didn't want to think about that. You didn't believe it when everyone said that the months would fly by as soon as the spring semester started– but they truly had. Your classes had kept you busy during the day while working the Stars games kept you busy at night. You had kept true to your word, and both you and Kennedy had befriended Paisley– the three of you becoming close in just a short amount of time. When the All-Star break came and your many, many votes for Jamie to be one of the 'last men in' were ignored, Tyler offered you a spot on the trip.

It was one thing, knowing that he'd rather have spent that entire week with you somewhere, doing anything and everything but thinking about hockey. And being in St. Louis in the middle of winter didn't really scream 'yes, please!' But taking the weekend off away from school and supporting him and watching him do what he loves while inspiring all of hockey's next generation of players...was enough to make you want to go.

As the weeks went on, Dave and Craig let you take on more and more responsibility as you could, and ones that didn't require you needing the board certification that you were already planning to take. They gave you advice on applying to Masters programs and Craig, sometimes even let you take his place on the bench during games. It wasn't a frequent thing, maybe once or twice every two to three weeks– but it was still cool as hell.

When spring break rolled around, you and Kennedy rubbed it into the faces of your Stars friends, when you announced your spring break plans with Paisley. While most of them had been to Cabo once or twice before, it was a getaway most of them desired for since the toll of the season was starting to weigh them down. Before you knew it, finals week was here and then boom...graduation.

In the last five months, your entire senior year flashed right before your eyes– and the moments that stood out the most always had the most important people in your life.

Your friends.

Your brothers and er- adopted brothers.

And Tyler...and the puppers.

The sound of cheering knocked you out of your thoughts and you saw all of your classmates standing up around you. You followed suit, holding onto the diploma tightly as you looked around you. You couldn't wrap your mind around how four years had come to an end so quickly. All of the weekends, the study nights, the parties off campus– everything, your entire college experience had wrapped up in four hours. As the crowd began to disperse and everyone went in search of their families, you looked around for Kennedy and Paisley, heading towards the meeting spot that the three of you had designated beforehand.

The Texas heat practically slapped you in the face as you used your diploma as a way to block the sun. Leaning out by a pillar just outside the auditorium, your two friends swarmed you from either side, the three of you hugging and trying not to cry. Even though Paisley had come into your friend group so late, it was like she was a missing piece of your friendship puzzle that well, you never knew you needed. When the three of you pulled away from one another, it only took one passing look before you burst into laughter.

"Ugh, why are we like this?" Kennedy laughed, sniffling and wiping her cheeks.

"I'm just happy that I'm no longer in that arena. You'd think with as expensive as the tuition is, they'd have decent air conditioning." Paisley added on, taking off her cap and wiping at her forehead. She turned off to the side and nodded her head. "I see my family, but we're all still on for lunch, right?"

Kennedy and you nodded as she waved and walked off, disappearing into the crowd. You relaxed more against the pillar, looking at your surroundings once more. "I can't believe it's over."

"Oh God, don't you start that," Kennedy came up next to you and plopped back against the pillar. "Get out of your emotions, Y/N. This isn't the time, especially today!"

And she was right, today was not the best day to get all in your feelings and be sad about your college experience coming to an end. Today...or rather, tonight, was so much more important.

"THERE'S MY FAVORITE GRADUATE!"

You and Kennedy looked up to see Big Rig towering over the crowd of people as his frame practically parted the crowd. Kennedy's parents were drifting behind him, all smiles as Big Rig carried flowers in his hands. "Hi, favorite boyfriend."

You rolled your eyes as he picked her up and spun her around carefully, kissing her before placing her back down onto the ground. "Favorite boyfriend? Are you telling me you have more than one?"

"Eh, I forgot about what's his name for the weekends," she joked, standing on her tippy toes and kissing him again. "You're my number one, though."

He smiled and handed her his flowers before turning to you, "ah, my second favorite graduate and first favorite Benn!" He wrapped you up in a hug and lifted you off the ground. "Don't worry, I got you flowers as well." He put you back down and handed you the other bouquet he was carrying.

"Hey, the only one who brings her flowers is me!" You turned to see Tyler standing there all dressed up with a smile on his face. When you looked past him, you saw the rest of your group stopped and talking to Kennedy's parents.

"Hey now, I'm more than okay with receiving gifts," you smiled, as Tyler made his way over to you and wrapped his arms around your waist. "But your flowers are my favorite."

He leaned in and kissed you, pulling away and tapping your graduation cap before bringing the bouquet in between the two of you. "There's a little gift in there too, from the puppers and I."

You looked down in the bouquet to see a black box with a small, red bow sitting in the middle of it. You picked it up and then looked back at Tyler with a raised eyebrow. "But Tyler, I just graduated college...I'm too young to get married."

The way his eyes bulged out of his head was enough to make you want to double over in laughter. When he registered the sarcasm in his voice, he rolled his eyes and nodded. "Haha, very funny, Y/N," he tucked the bouquet in the crook of his arm and nodded down at the box. "But just so you know, my proposal would be 100x better than this."

Your heart fluttered at the thought of Tyler proposing to you. Sure, you were nowhere near ready for marriage and neither was Tyler. And when you said it, it was a total joke. But the thought of it...was still a nice one. You looked back down at the box and lifted up the lid, revealing a stunning gold, heart-shaped locket. "Oh, Tyler..."

"Go ahead, open it." He smiled, nodding his head down at the locket before looking back at you. You pulled the necklace out of the box and opened the locket, revealing two pictures tucked on the inside. "Cassidy and Candace helped me cut out the pictures, I guess my first-grade arts and crafts projects proved that scissors and I don't go together well."

You smiled down at the locket, taking in the pictures Tyler had chosen. On the left, was a picture of the three goodest Seguin boys sitting at attention, all smiles and tongues. On the right, was probably your favorite picture you and Tyler had ever taken. It was at the family skate for the winter classic, the two of you had been skating around and having fun, and after beating Tyler in the first of many races, he had wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into him– preventing you from skating away. You were laughing, trying to wrestle out of his grip as he buried his face into the crook of your neck, blowing raspberries and only making you squirm more. Kennedy had snapped the candid, right at the moment, you had turned to look at him with a smile on his face and seconds before he leaned in to kiss you.

Literally a picture-perfect moment.

"I got it engraved on the back too," he reached out and flipped the locket over, revealing the small engraving on the backside. "They're coordinates."

"Coordinates? But to where?" you smiled, running your finger over the numbers.

"Dallas," he nodded, pointing at the engraving just below that.

My favorite memories and more. I love you.

You looked down at the locket, continuously running your thumb over the small engraving as you tried to hold back the tears. It was incredibly sweet of him to do this. At most, you expected flowers– but not something as sentimental as this. Yet as always, Tyler was always giving you more than you expected or felt like you deserved.

"I love you." You smiled, finally looking up at him before handing him the necklace and turning around, holding your hair up. "Can you?"

He handed the flowers off to Big Rig before placing the locket around your neck. The moment he clasped it off and you felt the weight of the necklace rest right at your chest, you turned around and wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him. "I'm proud of you and I love you, Y/N. I hope you know that."

You nudged his nose with your own and smiled, "I know."

He hugged you closer to him, kissing you again until someone cleared their throat, interrupting the moment. "This is nice and all, but let me hug my sister, Seggy."

Tyler stepped away, taking the flowers back from Big Rig as Jamie, Jordie, and Jenn huddled behind him. Tyler and Jamie were back to normal, what happened over Christmas playing a huge part in it. Jamie, of course, had a few understandable ground rules: no extensive PDA in front of him and no discussing bedroom activities in the locker room, both of which you understood completely.

You were swarmed by your three older siblings, all three wrapping you up into a big hug and refusing to give you any air to breathe– but you were okay with it. You experienced a time where you knew that one of them had wanted nothing to do with you at one point, and you never wanted to experience that again. So this, lung crushing hug– was perfect.

"Okay, okay, give her some air you three," your mom said, swatting them away as yours and Kennedy's families group together. "Gosh, look at the two of you...college graduates."

"Yeah, honestly we never thought you'd make it here– OW!" Jordie said, glaring at your mom. "What? It's the truth? Don't you remember how homesick they were freshman year?"

"Oh yeah!" Jamie laughed, pointing at you and Kennedy. "Family weekend, you guys had an intervention with the two of them, telling them that they couldn't camp out in Kennedy's living room anymore on the weekends."

"And look how much gas money we saved on that," Kennedy's dad chimed in, wrapping his arm around her mom. "You girls sure have grown up these last few years...it makes us proud."

"Now about this Hawaii trip..." you smiled, looking at your two older brothers.

Jamie and Jordie looked at one another and Jamie shook his head. "I told you it wouldn't take her long to bring it up."

"Well, you're the one who ruined the surprise."

"Okay, but how was I supposed to know–"

"Boys, boys, boys," Kennedy said, walking over to the two older Benn boys. "Why argue, when you can give us the details on our extravagant, Hawaiian vacation?"

"Girls, we'll discuss it over lunch when we're with Paisley too, can the two of you wait that long?" Your mom asked, shaking her head.

"The lunch that four said big hockey players won't be at because they have to take a pre-game nap?" You smiled, standing up straighter. "Sounds great to me."

"Speaking of the game tonight, we're excited to see you guys play!" Kennedy's mom said, nodding at Big Rig. "Finally get to see the four boys we've heard so much about, in action."

"Please Mrs. Stewart, don't boost their egos any more than they already are." You teased, bumping into Tyler.

"Okay, okay enough talk! If we want to make our reservations we'll need to get some pictures done! Boys– er, boyfriends, you guys with the two girls first." Your dad directed, ushering the conversation forward.

Everyone cleared out in the circle as Big Rig and Tyler came to take a picture with Kennedy and you. Tyler stood on your right as Big Rig stood in between you and Kennedy, all four of you standing close and looking at the cameras, ready for the picture. "I'm kind of jealous of their hats," Tyler said, smiling through his words.

"I know, it's kind of depressing to know that our girlfriends are hotter and smarter than us, now."

"And you better not forget it," You added in, scrunching your nose as Tyler.

"Yeah, but after tonight, we'll be able to say that our boyfriends are the 2020 Western Conference Champions, so which is better?"

Tyler and Big Rig looked at each other and nodded their heads. "Hot girlfriends."

You and Kennedy nudged them both in the ribs before your parents made you take another picture.

❒❒❒❒

Your post-grad lunch surrounded by family and friends was exactly what you needed to take your mind off of the end of your undergrad years and especially, tonight. Jamie, Big Rig, Jordie, and Tyler weren't originally supposed to tag along, but never like to be left out, they opted to join your already huge lunch party. More than once, you often caught yourself slipping out of conversations and just looking around at the table, wondering just how you ended up in your current spot. You had two amazing girlfriends, their families, your own family, your siblings and of course, Tyler.

After the lunch had ended, your four hockey boys went their separate ways to prepare themselves for tonight's game. Jamie had offered up his place for everyone to relax before the game with the one rule that nobody bothered him the moment he went upstairs to take his nap. It was comical, watching him try to lecture the three pairs of parents on how important a pre-game nap was. So, all three families went to Jamie's place and settled down in the living room, mingling and talking about how excited they were to watch the game from the suite that Jamie, Tyler and Big Rig had gotten for the big group. You had chosen to let Tyler have his rest back at his place, deciding to tag along with your parents back to Jamie's house.

And that's when it happened. No sooner than you guys stepped foot into his front door, your mom practically spazzed out, "Oh shoot, I almost forgot!" She rushed into the kitchen, bringing back two envelopes for you. "These came in for you just before we left home. I meant to give them to you at lunch, but I forgot them here this morning."

"What are they?"

"Ooh, maybe it's cash. A million dollars perhaps, Mrs. B?" Kennedy joked, plopping down next to Katie on Jamie's couch.

"Oh no, that'd be a gift from her two loving brothers," your mom laughed, handing over the envelopes to you. "Go ahead, open them."

You took the envelopes from her and flipped them over, seeing two familiar emblems and names written in the top left corner of each. You looked at your parents with wide eyes and they both just smiled. "Do you think...?"

"Only one way to find out."

You took a deep, calming breath before opening the first envelope. You closed your eyes, unfolding the letter before opening it again and letting your eyes dwindle down the paper. "Oh my God...I got in," you let the letter fall from your face as you looked at your parents. "I got in!!"

"Where, where? Which one?" Kennedy cheered, springing off the couch as everyone maneuvered into the living room.

"Houston," you shook your head in shock. "I got into their Masters Athletic Training program."

"Oh God, please stop getting degrees," Jamie groaned, coming in from the kitchen with a water bottle. "It's bad enough you've already got a jump on us, but one more?"

"You can go to school too, Jamie," Katie replied, rolling her eyes. "Open the second one!"

"I bet you got into there too," Jennie smiled, taking a seat on the couch armrest.

"I doubt it," you sighed, looking at the second envelope. "It's USF. They're one of the top programs in the country."

"Well, you'll never know if you don't open it," Jamie replied, coming up by your mom. "And please do it soon, I need my nap."

You stared at the USF logo in the left corner, trying to feel the envelope as if you'd be able to tell it was a rejection letter without opening it. You had only applied to two programs– U of Houston and USF, with USF being your number one choice. Turning the envelope over, you ripped the seal and pulled the folded letter out. You stared at the back of the paper, trying to build the nerve to unfold the letter when you looked up and immediately made eye contact with Jamie.

He sighed and came over, holding out his hand for you to hand the letter over. You placed it in his hand and without hesitation, he unfolded it and brought it up to his face. You watched as his eyes skimmed over the letter, his face showing no sign of emotion. "Well shit," he sighed, sounding defeated.

"No? It's no isn't it?"

"No, it looks like I'll be seeing you in Tampa instead of Houston," he turned the paper around and smiled. "You got in."

Your eyes widened as you read the first word of the letter over and over again. 'Congratulations!' You looked up at Jamie and jumped into his arms. "I got in!"

He hugged you tight and spun you around a little as the rest of the group was all smiles and cheers. "I'm proud of you, kid. I know you've worked hard for this," he put you back onto the ground and handed over your letter. "And you've earned every bit of it."

You were in disbelief, you had actually gotten into both Masters programs. As you stared at your two letters, you couldn't help but feel incredibly proud of the work you'd put in your last four years of undergrad. And as soon as the cheers and voices of everyone around you faded out, the thought that had been lingering in the back of your mind since you applied for the programs, came forward.

If you went to USF...then what about Tyler?

❒❒❒❒

The atmosphere in the arena was insane, and why wouldn't it be? Tonight was the potential final game of the Western Conference Championship. Both of your brothers were playing tonight and the Stars were leading the series 3-0.

Needless to say, tonight was a very, very important night.

So important, that you hadn't even thought to tell anyone besides those who were at the house when you found out about your acceptance into the two masters programs. You figured that after the game was the best time to tell Big Rig and Tyler, not before they had one of the biggest games of their career. That, and it gave you a little more time to really consider what to do about choosing a program. USF was your number one choice and you only applied to U of Houston as a backup. But now that you've gotten into both, what the hell were you supposed to do?

You spent all of that quality pre-game relaxation time asking Kennedy and Paisley what they thought you should do. You and Tyler had just started officially dating only months ago and now there was a huge potential that you would be moving 15 hours away? How the hell would that affect your relationship? You didn't even want to think about that, because you had already almost lost Tyler once...you didn't want to risk it again.

But you wanted to go to USF, so badly. It was as if your brain and your heart were tugging you in two different directions. One being, that if you choose to go to USF for the next two years, your relationship with Tyler would be up in the air and fall apart as quickly as it had come together the first time. The other being, that you couldn't let a relationship dictate over what would be the best for you and your education. The battle inside of you was at such a high, but the moment that you walked into the training room and heard the chatter and laughter of the boys waiting to be helped, it was as if that was washed away and the real worry at hand took over.

As serious of a game, this was going to be, you'd never know it by the way the boys were in the training room or even down the corridors doing their pre-game stuff. You were immediately greeted with cheers and congratulations, followed by the 'smarty-pants' and 'nerd' chirps. But you loved every moment of it because it was coming from them and you knew that they meant it in a heartfelt way.

You were already finished with helping Big Rig and his stretches when Tyler had come in and requested you to tape his ankles, of course. You were already done with one when the door opened and Dave walked in with Craig behind him, both coming back from helping some of the guys out in the hallway.

"Y/N! We just heard!" Craig smiled, walking past as Jamie followed in behind home.

"You got into USF? Great job, kid! Their program is one of the best in the country," Dave added, coming to a stop by you and patting you on the shoulder. "And as a graduation present from Craig and I, you get to be with us on the bench today. Get a taste of the real playoff run stuff." He walked by and went to his desk, plopping down into his chair. "Also, if you have to do some more internship stuff down there, Tom Mulligan is a good friend of mine. I can see if I can get you one there if you'd like?"

"That'd be cool, thanks, Dave." You smiled, turning your attention back to Tyler's ankle as the guys around you cheered even more for you.

"What? You got into USF? That's awesome!" Tyler asked, bending his foot to get you to look up at him. "Wait, what's that? I've never heard of that school here..."

"That's because it's not in Texas," you took a deep breath, looking back down at his foot and mentally cursing Jamie for telling Dave and Craig. This is not how you wanted Tyler to find out, ideally...he'd find out eh...weeks from now. "It's in Tampa."

"But–"

"You're all done." Before he could say anything else, you finish wrapping his ankle and tap the tape, signaling that he's done. You went to stand up when Pavs called you over, asking if you could tape him too.

Tyler sat there on the table for a moment, watching you and still looking confused before finally hopping off, returning his heating pad and walking out of the training room. You could still feel the tension in your shoulders as you went on and helped Pavs and then a few more of the guys, and though Tyler wasn't in the room with you, it was as if you could still feel his gaze on you. When the training room cleared out the closer it got to warm-ups, you leaned back against a table and took a deep breath, letting it out seconds later and feeling yourself relax.

You weren't even playing in the game tonight and you were nervous. It felt a little weird, having both brothers having to play each other. Sure, they'd done it before during the regular season...but this was different. This was to get to the Stanley Cup Finals– and one brother would go, while the other one wouldn't. It made you anxious. You check your watch to see you have some time to grab a water bottle from the lounge before the game started and you left the training room.

No sooner than you stepped out of the room and started to make your way down to the lounge, were you then pulled away by your wrist and cornered by Tyler. "Jesus, Tyler," you sighed. "You scared me."

"Sorry, I just wanted to talk," he said, an arm extended out towards the wall and holding himself up. "So what's up? I can tell something's up with you."

"Really? Oh no, uh," you coughed, shaking your head. "It must be the nerves of being on the bench tonight."

He rolled his eyes, "nice try, but you've been on the bench before." He let his arm down and rested his shoulder against the wall, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. "Care to try again?"

"So, like...I applied to two schools, one here in Houston and the other...USF." You sighed, your shoulders collapsing as you caught sight of the locket resting just below the open collar of your polo. "USF is one of the top programs in the country and U of Houston was my backup...and I– I'm just trying to figure out where to go."

"Do you want to go to USF?" Tyler asked nonchalantly.

"Eh."

"Eh?" He laughed, standing up straight. "You just said it was your top choice, so obviously you want to go there. Why aren't you more excited?"

You huffed and crossed your arms, biting the inside of your cheek before looking at him. "Because it's in Florida, it's a two-year program, we just started dating and I–"

He tilted his head to the side, raising an eyebrow again. "And you?"

Defeated, you slumped back against the wall, staring back down at your shoes. "I don't want to leave us...you. I just–" you turned to him, uncrossing your arms and raising them halfway, only to let them drop back down at your sides. "This is new and I don't want to ruin it."

He opened his mouth to say something when Jamie's voice erupted from the hall. "Seggy come on, let's go!"

"Hey, Y/N, can you help me unpack this tape really quick?" Craig called out, moments later.

You sighed, looking back down at the floor when Tyler reached for your hand and squeezed it, causing you to look up at him. "We'll have to talk about this after the game, okay?" You nodded and he leaned in, kissed your cheek, whispered "congratulations," and then disappeared down the hall with your brother.

Okay, okay that didn't go as bad as you thought it would. Now it's just time to survive the game and maybe you'd end up surviving the 'talk' you and Tyler were going to have afterward....maybe.

❒❒❒❒

Never has there been a time where you wanted to throw a water bottle as a ref or a linesman's face, yet in this game, it was a constant need almost ever five minutes. You were agitated for both sides, really. Calls were being missed, penalties being blatantly ignored– God, it led you wondering how people even managed to survive playoff hockey. Even though you could feel your blood pressure rise with every play, there was no better feeling than being there on the bench and watching it all unfold in front of you.

Yeah, this is definitely what you wanted to do for the rest of your life.

You've been around hockey your entire life. Whether it was watching your older brothers play or even taking a shot at it yourself– hockey was a constant thing in your family. You've watched enough games in your 22 years of life that could fill an average person's full desire for hockey. But this, being there on the bench, knowing that you're the person that helps the players keep up with their performance and take care of their bodies– was a whole ‘nother thing.

It was a never-ending rush of adrenaline and you had Dave and Craig to thank for this entire experience. Why Craig decided to hang back in the training room and let you take his place on the bench, you had absolutely no idea. But you weren't going to complain, one bit.

Your eyes drifted up towards the jumbotron and saw the time remaining in the second period. there was only a minute left and the Stars still had a 2-1 lead. Dobby was a brick wall, you hadn't seen him play like this and his regular season stats were already fire. As time dwindled down and the shifts were changing you heard a whistle blow and play stopped. Dave looked at you and nodded his head. "You go to Jamie, and I'll go help, Klinger."

"Me?!" You squealed, holding onto the fanny pack rested around your waist.

"Yes, you– it's okay. Jamie's tough, probably nothing too serious." He replied, stepping out onto the ice as Rads helped him over.

You felt your heart begin to race as Bishop opened the door for you and you stepped out onto the ice. Big Rig was right there to help you over to Jamie and Tyler skated over soon after, making it a faster trip over to your brother. The adrenaline was surely pumping through you now as you quickly looked out into the crowd and saw the thousands of people surrounding you. "Oh wow," you gulped, holding onto the towel in your hand.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Big Rig laughed as they brought you to a stop in front of Jamie, who was pushing himself up onto his knees.

"What's up big boy?" You asked, looking down at your brother before crouching down on to the ice. He was bleeding on his forehead, just beneath his helmet. "Holy fuck you're bleeding!"

"Well yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what the red stuff is, Y/N." Big Rig chuckled, resting against his stick.

"I think the fucking puck nailed Klinger and ricocheted and hit me," he sucked in air through his teeth as he checked in on Klinger. When his eyes settled back on you he chuckled. "Wow, I guess they just send anyone out on the ice these days, huh?"

"Dave said it wasn't this serious, though!" You panicked slightly, bending down more to get a glimpse at his cut as you reached for the helmet. "This is why mom got the two of you visors for Christmas, you bonehead."

You examined the cut to make sure his helmet hadn't chipped and gone into the wound. You pressed the towel against his head as he laughed. "Shut up or I'll ask Craig to let me stitch you up too– that should be fun."

His eyes went wide at your suggestion, just as Jordie came to a stop by your group. "How's he doing doc? Is he going to lose a few brain cells?"

Oh, how the announcers for the game must be losing their minds– three Benn's on the ice in a Western Conference Championship game. Talk about social media gold.

"It wouldn't matter if he did," you said, nodding back down at Jamie. "I'd still be the smartest in the family."

Jamie groaned and started to stand up without you, but you kept the pressure on his forehead until he was fully standing and took over the pressure on his own. "Yeah, yeah, shut up the both of you."

You walked alongside him as Tyler and Big Rig followed you back, Jordie trailing not too far behind. When you reached the bench, Jamie walked back to the training room and you stepped back into the bench. "Looking good out here, Y/N. I guess the degree hasn't gone to waste, huh?" Jordie joked.

"Oh yeah," you laughed, tugging on our fanny pack and motioning towards the tunnel. "Putting good use to it all seven hours I've had it."

Jordie just winked as he skated off back towards his own bench, just as Dave and Klinger came off of the ice. Klinger looked fine, but since the period was ending soon, he was probably going back to get ahead of the crowd and get checked on. "Everything okay?" Dave asked, nodding his head down the tunnel.

"Oh yeah, just a cut. It doesn't need any stitches or anything, it can just be cleaned, if at most glued. But don't tell Jamie I said that, I already said Craig would let me stitch him up."

Dave threw his head back and laughed as the two of you turned towards the ice as play resumed. He crossed his arms, staring out at the ice before nodding ahead. "I meant what I said, Y/N. I can give you a recommendation to Tom. You've got the heart for this, the skills and you're a hard worker."

You bit the inside of your cheek, still unsure if you were even going to be in that area, though the offer was nice. "Can I get back to you on that?"

Dave nodded as the period came to an end and the players made their way down the tunnel. "Sure thing, kid. But I can tell you one thing, even just based on seeing you in the training room and then just now, you're a natural for this."

You stood there for a few moments longer, taking in the empty ice and the full arena. You took a deep breath and sighed as his words replayed in your mind.

'You're a natural.'

'You've got the heart for this.’

'The skills...'

You tapped your hand against the wall and smiled, before turning away from the ice and walking back down the tunnel.

❒❒❒❒

This couldn't be real.

You had to be fucking dreaming right now.

The Stars were headed to the Stanley Cup Finals and Tyler had scored the game-winning goal in the last shootout round, to send them there. The moment that the puck flew past Markstrom and the team erupted on of the bench, you felt like running onto the ice with them. Instead, you were attacked with a hug from Big Rig before he followed his teammates off of the bench and on to the ice. It was surreal, hearing the cheers erupt all around you.

It was almost deafening.

You couldn't stop shaking even as you watched the ceremony of the boys receiving their hats from the NHL and then the Clarence S. Campbell Bowl from the NHL commissioner. You wanted to cry when you saw Jamie lead the team over to get their picture behind it. Even by the time that everything had calmed down and the families were allowed to come on to the ice to congratulate their players, it still felt like it was a dream.

When you finally got onto the ice with your family, the whole thing was a big blur. It was like you hopped from picture to picture, congratulations leaving your lips time after time as your heart swelled with pride at what your team had accomplished. You were standing back, watching your parents snap pictures of your brother and Katie and relaxing, taking in the scene of the fans still cheering on the boys.

"Y/N! Y/N!" You looked to your left to see Candace and Cassidy both headed your way with big smiles on their faces. The three of you hugged as you looked around for Tyler, knowing that he was probably done taking pictures with his family.

"Can you believe it?" Cassidy smiled, holding onto your arm. "They're going to the Stanley Cup finals!"

"Who would've thought that our average player of a brother would be the won to score the game-winning goal that sends them to the finals, huh?" Candace joked, her eyebrows raising as she looked past you.

You turned to see Tyler making his way over to you and you felt your cheeks redden and your heart race. "I think that's our cue to leave, but come find us afterward! We want pictures." Cassidy smiled, squeezing your arm before pulling Candace away.

You laughed as they walked away just as Tyler had reached you. He was hearing his hat proudly on his head and had the grin you loved so much plastered on his face. "Well hey, there champio–"

Before you could even say anything, he sweeps you up into his arms and kisses you. You wrap your arms around his neck, pouring every bit of love you had for him into the kiss before he pulled away, still holding you in his arms. "I want you to go," he huffed, out of breath.

"Huh?" You asked, tilting your head to the side.

"To USF. I want you to go."

"But–"

"No, no buts." He placed you back down onto the ice and kept his arms around your waist, looking down at you. "This is your dream. That's the best program in the country and don't try to tell me different because I even heard Dave say it."

Your jaw dropped, still stunned at what he was saying. "But–" He looked at you with a raised eyebrow and you sighed. "But I don't want to leave you..."

"We can hang out when we come to play Tampa. I can visit, you can visit and we have our summers." He took the hat off of his head and placed it down onto yours, adjusting it with a smile. "Besides, I'd be able to brag about how my smoking hot, and genius girlfriend got into one of the top athletic training programs in the country."

You felt your eyes brim with tears once again before you brought him back down and kissed him again. When you pulled away, you kept your eyes closed and your forehead pressed to his. "I love you."

"And I love you," he replied, kissing your forehead before pulling away from you and intertwining his fingers with yours. "Now come on, I need a picture with my lucky charm of a girlfriend and the Clarence S. Campbell bowl so I can post it on Instagram and brag about the both of you."

You threw your head back and laughed, as you tucked yourself further into his side, not even caring that you guys were surrounded by the press and the fans. "You're such a dweeb."

"Yeah, but I'm your–"

"Don't even say it, Seguin," you chuckled, looking up at him. He just tapped the brim of the hat on your head, knocking it partially over your eyes before giving you a wink and that childlike grin that was enough to bring the butterflies in your stomach alive.

#tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin oneshot #tyler seguin one shot #tyler seguin writing #nhl writing #nhl imagine #nhl oneshot #nhl one shot #hockey oneshot #hockey one shot #hockey imagine #hockey writing #ldyk fic #my writing

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queencryo · 4 years ago

Text

I’m gonna liveblog my ccapstone final presentation and you’re all going to have to deal with it ^_^

ASPODFIASPODFIAPOSDFIAPOIVZJX PROF IS DOING A DESCRIPTION OF THE TEAMS WE ALL INHERITED FROM

THE ONLY GOOD THING SHE HAS TO SAY ABOUT THE ONE WE INHERITED IS THAT THEY WERE REALLY PERSERVERING. I’M LOVING THIS. THEY TRIED SO HARD BUT GODDAMN.

liHoly shit the glove group’s demo looks SO much better than their previous one. Full swag! full swag! And putting up a dude with TWO future tech cool gloves is always a huge coolthing to do during your presentation you know? That slaps hard.

Hope our presentation goes well, really badly hope it does... Man I hope they don’t shit on our putting so much time into internal testing for the presentation? That testing is what saved our project (ie: what made our prof finally start being on our side on things)

Holy shit I forgot that the glove group fucking. used pressure-to-conductance sensors then did tests with a cooking scale to convert their voltages to gram-force (which is what “hand specialists” use I guess????)

I’m fucking gargling, glove team had a team member in thailand so they did a lot of work at 830 PM or 830 AM. (*Ignores that we did a huge amount of work between the hours of 9PM and 6AM*). oh my GOD the guy in austin just.. left his computer on and the thailand one teamviewer’d into his PC to program stuff...

THEY FRIED AN ARDUINO. AND HAD TO SAW THROUGH IT BECAUSE UNSOLDERING WAS TOO HARD. ***AND THEY ACTUALLY PUT THIS INTO THEIR FUCKING PRESENTATION***. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I FRIED A RASPBERRY PI BUT YOU DON’T SEE ME PUTTING THAT SHIT INTO OUR PRESENTATION

also dude y’all know the budget of $200 was what the university would give us right? you know you were supposed to get under $50 for the project itself right? right?

Glove group is getting some hard questions. Not insurmountable, but not easy. Hopefully I can figure out anything they ask!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA also i am out of adderall so we’ll SEE how this goes :)

Next up is uhhhh I think one of the survivor guys? The phone guys? I’m tryna be p vague but yeah

holy SHIT survivor guy demo was. so bad. so bad. the audio sounded terrible, the splitscreen videos weren’t synced up quite right. oh my god. I don’t want to be mean but I’m just. literally I was cringing. jeez. Bad audio.

The rest of the presentation isn’t as bad, except that oh dude I can see part of your windows background? and your taskbar? AND YOUR TASKBAR IN A COUPLE OF FRAMES ELSEWHERE???? it just. this doesn’t feel like they put effort into it.

They do all look crisp with their white button-ups though. our team decided on black t-shirts, because we’re all fools.

WHY IS YOUR ENTIRE PRESENTATION NOT FULLSCREEN. DUDE DID YOU ONLY DO ONE TAKE ON THIS SHIT?

I feel like their presentation genuinely looks worse than their prafctice presentation. jesus. FULL SECOND BLANK BLACK SCREEN DURING SECTION TRANSITION

im bored so im now zoning out and talking to my friends on pisscord~

I’m also... unmedicated lol. im ouuttttttttt

oh! I asked some porn lady on twitter where she gets her hormones since I’m about to graduate out of access to the uni clinic i get em from now, so imma look into that at some point :) some kinda. anime-themed hrt distribution thing.

Which is weird but hey. I figure... if they’re putting effort into theming, they probably aren’t putting out cocaine-laced trash ya know?

THIS MOTHERFUCKER GETTING DISCORD NOTIFICATIONS WHILE THEY’RE ANSWERING INDUSTRY PROFESSIONAL QUESTIONS

literally chatting with my friends and manically laughing in hte moments up to my final presentation. this is just like my high school graduation.

Alright we’re UP babes. my video is ON and our recorded presentation is UP on my teammate’s (and perhaps... *friend’s*............) sccreen (that was a joke) (but yeah the presentation is up we’ere just waiting to GO baby!)

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Aaaand muting our presentation during the parts I talked in... I like her fine I just don’t want to listen to her...

The industry guys look perplexed but idk if th oh GOD why is the video stuttering... I hope that’s on my side not on anyone else’s...

aaaaaaaa I hope they don’t ask us anything TOO hard. they’re probably going to ask why we used the sensor we did, but beyond that I really have no idea.

okay im paying attention again. I think our presentation is a LITTLE on the sexual side. I can’t be sure but... :smirk: Wish I had a friend who talked as much as me. Ah man you know what I miss? Watching movies with Al or Morgan. never hung w ppl who talked during movie theatres as much as them and me :) It was really good times!

God our mobile application UI is OS fucking sexy. holy fucking shit. God our guy on that did such an amazing job. There’s even animations when things are happening? It’s SOOOO good.

Now is the internal testing section of the presentation. Kinda show off that “hey mang our sensor just sucks DICK.” it’s super narrow and it HATES detecting black things. ... holy fuk I hope the choppy video is on myyyy siiiiiide... .. eh, I guess chopy video is kind of survivable. Not exactly our fault or something we could possibly predict, you know?

DISCORD

THIS IS A TRASHBIN FOR ALL MY WORDS SO THAT I DON’T TALK OR SAY SOMETHING STUPID WHERE IMPORTANT PEOPLE COULD SEE IT. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

at least the audio isn’t usually choppy during the parts of the presentation that aren’t videos? so that’s awesome :)

We did solve the problem of our faces getting in the way of the presentation

NOOOOOOO MY NAME ISN’T MARROW NOOOOOOOOOOO

ASDFASODPFAISPDFOI SHOWIN OFF THE PREVIOUS TEAM’S SHIT. PUTTING THEM ON FUCKING BLAST. FUCK Y’ALL. tho i did have the realization last night. you know what... if I passed with that shit I put in for 462, you know what... they can pass with what they did for this course. neither was good. <_<

ah fuck I’m talking again I gotta mute THAT SHIT (if it’s not clear, we pre-recorded our presentations and are now just... showing that, in da meeting).

hell yeah man hell yeah man

I think if they ask about our sensor choice I’ll say we got a $20 sensor beccause we had a budget of $50 for the final system. which. we SHOULD’VE then said “ohka ylet’s not use LiDAR.” but we didn’t, so here we are! I... think maybe part of this is my fault. Maybe a pair of microwave sensors was the way to go after all.

OH FUCK THE PRESENTATION IS OVER TIME FOR QUESTIONS.

They asked about the environmental concerns, and why we mentioned 3-d printing for the chassis when we didn’t actually do any such printing. both directed to me. we didn’t do any enviro conerns, and we didn’t end up 3-d printing because we couldn’t get it working so we just went with wood the whole way through.

Of course, we have a question about messaging between cones, because hey i mean that’s the most interesting part of our project, from a design standpoint. it is. it is. it is.

AY THEY SHOUTED OUT OUR ZOOM BACKGROUND FUCK YESSS

AY WHOOP AY WHOOP AY WHOOP THEY DIDN'T ASK SHIT ABOUT OUR PRESENTATION (i ASSUME BECAUSE IT WAS SO FUCKING FLAWLESS AND AMAZING THAT THEY HAD NO QUESTIONS AT FUCKING ALL BABY)

THEY LITERALLY ASKED 4 QUESTIONS, ABOUT ENVIRO CONCERNS, CHASSIS, MESSAGING, AND SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT THE DATABASE

GOD THIS IS SO GOOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

goddamn. survivor guy group 2 is going SO MUCH BETTER than the last one. opened on a description of the project, with the arm slowly opening to reveal their little screen with a heart on it... that’s SO good bro.

This presentation is so much better than the last one. Oh my god this is so good bro. Y’all did so awesome. I’m in lvoe with you. LOVE THIS SHIT

lmao oh yeah our CPM critical path went from 30 days to like 79 days. partially cuz 30 of our days were spent waiting for parts...

SURVIVOR GUY SHOWING OFF THEIR ABILITY TO PLAY VIDEO WITH A CLIP FROM THE OFFICE. DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH THEM (I DONT LIKE THE OFFIE BUT THAT’S WAY MORE ENTERTAINING THAN THE OTHER SURVIVOR GUY TEAM’S EXAMPLE OF THE SCHOOL FIGHT SONG YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

really really great presentation. I went into their pisscord and made sure to tell zem i loved their presentation.

AW DUDE I LOVE MY SISTER SO MUCH. NOT RELATED. JUST LOOKING AT MY DMS AND SAW HER NAME.

I don’t really care about group 5. i just don’t care! I’m. my part is done. I’m free, mostly. I’m god now....

yeah i haven’t paid attention to much on group five. just can’t be assed!

bluh i have a shitton of history homework due tonight... gotta do an interview and like 5 fuckin writing assessments. Really dropped every ball available ya know?

PROF SAID “THIS IS THE BEST I’VE EVER SEEN GROUPS DO” IDK IF THAT’S TRUE BUT HELLLLLLLLLL YEAH I FEEL FANTASTIC

Prof says yall did great, woulda done great under normal circumstances and that you did so good under these is amazing.

Something about making an abstract or something...? Student research week or something.

goddamn. finality. we did it folks. holy sh8it. last meeting ofthis class. kind of... the last meeting of my college career, if everything goes as planned? so that’s. weird.

hhhh okay i can’t let Finality Anxiety get to me I still have shit to do. don’t let it set in!!!!!!!!!

#blog #engineering

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propertyofwicked · 5 years ago

Note

Could you do an a-z for dating dean please? I loved tom’s! 😍

i really enjoy writing these :) ive got a george one requested so i will be doing that later. hope you enjoy this one anon :)

a - argue

like the mature adults you guys are, any argument results in silent treatment till one of you realises your fault and apologises. sometimes it takes other people to point out your mistakes, but in the end you would talk it out, make compromises and understand your differences. a little goes along way with you and dean.

b - body (his favourite body part of yours)

dean likes your hands. he likes how they move to cup his face when you kiss, he likes how your fingers move effortlessly across your keyboard when you’re typing, he likes how they wrap around things ;) he likes how they fit perfectly in his and he likes how they run over the surface of his back.

c - care (caring for each other when you’re sick)

you both spend a lot of time away from each other, as he is away filming a lot and you are at uni or doing coursework. when you do get to spend time together and it happens that someone is ill, you’re still going to spend as much time together as physically possible. you’ll spend the day in bed, wrapped up warm. If you’re ill, dean wants to treat you like a queen. under no circumstances are you to leave the bed, unless it’s for the toilet, and even then, he keeps an eye on you to make sure you don’t pass out on the way. he’ll cook you food and bring you painkillers as often as needed. when he’s ill, you’ll do mostly the same, perhaps try and move him to the sofa or go for a walk for some fresh air.

d - dates (what do you guys do?)

to the start of your relationship, dean preferred to take you on high key fancy restaurants, but once you were comfortable settled together you’d go on cafe dates in-between lectures or just stay home and watch movies with some takeaway food.

e - engagements (how he proposed)

dean had taken you to venice for your birthday, and spent the entire week spoiling you,as he usually would much to your protests. on the last night before you flew home, you went for dinner and on the way home, he took you to a cute little bridge, tucked away from the main town. whilst you were distracted by the stars appearing in the orange sky, he got down on one near and called out your name to gain your attention.

f - friends and family (do they like you/him?)

his parents loved you. his mum and you often cooked together whenever you visited for dinner, or you and his dad would talk about politics or the football. His little sister liked having a female around that was closer to her age, you were more of her friend than her sister-in-law. your parents liked dean, he was the most respectable boy you’d ever dated and they could see how happy he made you. out of each of your friendship groups, you both were the longest to be single, so your friends were just happy to see you not crying over some failed fling.

g - gifts

as dean was away for filming a lot, he often wanted to remind you of how much he loved you by getting flowers delivered to your house and when he was done filming, he’d sometimes brought back bits of set or props that he thought you would like. being a broke student meant that sometimes the only gift you could send would be some lovely photos specially for him ;)

h - how you met

often, your uni would use it’s rooms to host interviews for press tours, or q&a halls. the uni offered pay for a group of people to set up the rooms and pack up at the end so you volunteered. tt was here you ran into george and dean as it was a 1917 q&a. they were lost so you helped direct them to the room they needed to be in. dean actively stalked you down after the interview and asked if you’d want to go for coffee with him and you hit it off from there.

i - intimacy (how often are yall getting down)

whenever, wherever. he’s down. the amount of time you spend apart just builds up your need to be together, so you grasp at any chance you can to be physically intimate with one another. it’s when you’re bored of a tv program, or he’s wearing a suit, you get the gist.

j - jealousy

you get fairly jealous as dean works around and with a lot of people you believe to be better, prettier, that yourself. as much as dean reassures you, you can’t help yourself from wondering if he’d ever leave you for one of the actress he work with. dean doesn’t tend to be massively jealous, but the more time he spends away from you, the more jealous he gets. he fears that you will find someone who can be in your life more permanently and physically than he can.

k - kinks

dean likes edging/control. he loves to see you struggle to contain your release until he says so, and he loves to take you beyond the point of pleasure till you’re literally begging to cum.

l - long distance

with dean working away so much, long distance gets hard. Sometimes he manages to come home for the weekend, but he could be gone for 3 months at a time. every night, you facetime or call each other whilst just going about your daily routine together, as if he was there. just hearing each others voices daily was enough to keep you going till you saw each other again.

m - moving in

there was never really a point where you moved in with him. your stuff just started manifesting it’s way into his house, to the extent you’d spend ages searching your room for it only to realise you’d left it at dean’s. once you were going into your second year at university, you’d been with dean for almost a year and he just kind of suggested that you live with him to avoiding massive bills for uni halls, but everyone knew it was a ploy to be able to spend more time with you.

n - nights out

as a student, nights out were key to social engagements. so, your group of uni friends and their partners would head out to a local pub and spend the evening chatting drinking or playing darts. you’d both stumble home at the early hours and wake up several hours later with a pounding hangover.

o - open with each other

whilst he was away, it was hard to be fully open with each other, knowing that anything bothering you would just upset each other further as you couldn’t be with each other at the time. once he was home, however, it was easy to spend hours wrapped up together talking about anything that was on your mind.

p - pda

neither of you are particularly into massive displays due to the public eye being on you more often than not, but a simple hand hold or peck didn’t go amiss. dean preferred to save all of his affection for home, where he could properly show you how much you meant to him.

q - questions (what you talk about late at night?)

let’s be honest, you would go into any massively deep conversation it’d be more along the lines of “how was your day? what did you do? did I ever tell you about the time that...” but it was the small moment s like that that counted.

r - reproduction (do you want kids?)

not at this point in time, as it is the start of your careers and you’re both pretty young but you had discussed it a little. if it was to happen by surprise, you’d both embrace it but one day down the line you fully plan to have atleast a child if not more.

s - surprising (what surprised you about him)

the simplicity of his happiness. it doesn’t take much to make dean smile, or let out a little laugh but every time he did you feel a surge of happiness rush through yourself. to see him happy made you happy, so you’d strive to do that as much as humanly possible.

t - together (what you do together)

you guys like watching movies, which isnt surprising given the nature of deans job. you also like to spend quite a lot of time in the bedroom ;)

u - under the influence (drunk vibes)

it was rather common that you’d be out separately, you out with uni mates or him with co stars. drunk calls were the best, both of you becoming the funniest people alive whilst intoxicated. when he chose to stay home and you’d make you way back, fumbling to get the keys in the lock subsequently waking him up, he’d come to you and put you in bed. he’d make sure there was a glass of water and painkillers and a bowl near your head. you’d do the same, but drunk dean is flirty dean and whilst you were trying to change him into sleepable clothing, he’d make comments like “at least by me dinner first”

v - vacations

a lot of your holidays were spent on set with him, but sometimes you’d go abroad to malta or somewhere remote. you preferred quiet, adventure holidays than expensive beach holidays.

w - wedding

you had the cutest wedding ever. it was in this converted barn, with both your families and friends attending and the reception was basically a massive party in very fitting taste for you and dean.

x - xray (when he’s hurt)

dean injured himself on set of 1917, where he slipped down a trench and twisted his ankle fairly bad. because of it, he was sent home for two weeks to recuperate, where you literally tended to his every need. you brought him food, drink, medication and care to the point where he literally had to make you spend time on your other work rather than him for some time. normally it would just end in you falling asleep, cuddling on the sofa, in your living room.

y - you (a random headcanon)

you’d had a long and bad day at uni, so you came home stressed out of your mind, muscled tensed and a pounding headache. the moment you stepped foot into the flat, you bag dropped to the floor and shoes kicked to the side, you walked into the living room where dean looked up at you and sent you a small smile. he noticed the fatigue in your eyes and posture, moving to pat his lap for you to sit on. You found your way onto his lap, legs wrapping around his waist as he moved to lay down. you hands moved under his back to hold him properly and one of his arms snaked around your waist, the other moving to brush a hand through your hair. his head lifted up slightly to press a kiss onto the top of your head.

“bad day?”

“very. but it’s slightly better now.”

“you’re very welcome babygirl”

z - zzzzzzzzzzzz’s (sleeping routine)

dean would be in bed before you every night without fail as you’d be sat doing coursework till late. but he always stayed awake till you made your way into the room and held out his arms for you to climb into and rest your head on his chest. his hands would go straight to your hair and brush through them softly, lulling you into a deep sleep that he too would fall into soon after you.

#1917 #dean charles chapman #dean charles chapman x reader #dean charles chapman imagine #tom blake #tom blake x reader #tom blake imagine #george mackay #george mackay x reader #george mackay imagine #will schofield #will schofield x reader #will schofield imagine

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spellcastersjudgement · 5 years ago

Note

23 nd tutorship ^v^

i apologize in advance i know this is an ignorant length but i cant help myself with THE OTP i hope you enjoy it!!! thank u bigly for sending in this ask <3333

if yall are on mobile i apologize in advance sometimes the read more links dont work whoops :((((

#23: ‘take my jacket’

Jaden loved to party and he wouldn’t apologize for that. Tournaments, interviews, endorsements, even a season finale of a TV show—all excuses to let loose and fill up no less than three trash bags with beer cans, pass out with his shoes on, and wake up groggy yet fulfilled the next day. Being a pro duelist had been the best move he’d ever made in his life, not just for the money and pictures and love of the game, but because even boring opening ceremonies or long-ass photoshoots ended with everyone getting smashed for no other reason than that they could. It was paradise.

This party fucking sucked though.

It didn’t suck in like, a traditional sense. The ballroom was beautiful, with vaulted ceilings and elegantly decorated tables with little placards for their names and everyone was dressed nicely. He was sitting at his assigned seat, staring at the nameplate and sipping prosecco, feeling like he should climb up onto the table and dance to liven things up a bit. Though the urge was strong and he’d downed four of these flutes of angry grape juice, he instead pulled out his phone from his front pocket—yeah, he was wearing a blazer with a fancy inside pocket, something he had never expected to wear in his life—and scrolling through his texts, most of them from Syrus, who was lamenting that they weren’t together to watch Aster and Zane’s televised foreplay. Jaden felt guilty but he wished he’d had a duel scheduled tonight. Zane and Aster had gotten out of attending this party (he used the term loosely) with Alexis, but this was a by week for him and he had no excuse.

Originally when Bastion had told him that he had to attend this—gala, that had been the word—this gala he was hype, ready to hang off his boyfriend’s arm and be the pro duelist trophy boyfriend to Bastion’s physics doctoral candidate, preferably hammered and bragging about how Bastion and Alexis had been awarded a competitive research grant for an assload of money. That was the plan, at least. Then again, he was under the impression that these galas were similar to his version of a party, where everyone showed up hella drunk and someone lost their pants thirty minutes in for whatever reason. The fancy name should’ve tipped him off, he thought, texting Syrus that he might have to fake a stomachache so he could dip out early, but in his defense he assumed the fancy name was because it was a university-sponsored thing not because it was stuffy as hell.

Syrus sent him back a sternly worded text that he should be happy for Bastion and that his boyfriend had put up with all of their drunken asses more times than he could count. Jaden could suck it up for one night.

Wrinkling his nose and feeling guilt swell up in him, Jaden locked his phone and put it back in his blazer—it was Bastion’s blazer actually, as Jaden didn’t own one nor did he remember to get one even though he’d been informed of this a week ago—and downed the rest of his wine, setting the empty glass back on the tablecloth. This would probably be more tolerable if he hadn’t immediately been separated from Bastion and Alexis, who had been accosted by professors and the program director almost as soon as they’d walked in. From his spot, he could see them standing with who he recognized as their faculty adviser, probably talking about something super smart and sciencey. This shit had gone on for the past forty-five minutes and Jaden could probably just walk over and interject himself, but what would he even say? The original plan didn’t seem like it would work as he definitely couldn’t grab Bastion’s ass and make off-color jokes about how his dick-sucking lips had won them that grant with this crowd of old-ass academics.

Bastion did look good in that suit though. Jaden probably wouldn’t be able to resist getting a handful of his ass when those slacks were stretched so tightly over it, already thinking of how he should drop something in front of him so he’d pick it up and give Jaden an excellent view. Looking down at his own ensemble, he wondered how Bastion had let him out of the house. He was wearing a purple leopard print button-up and had cuffed his dress pants and had refused to wear socks with these dress shoes unless he could wear his Winged Kuriboh ones. That had earned him an exasperated look from his boyfriend, who was busy ironing his own boring white shirt. Apparently the line was at Winged Kuriboh socks, as Bastion hadn’t said anything about his outfit when they’d left.

He could probably go over there, maybe just stand between Bastion and Alexis and not say anything. It’d be better than being the only person sitting at a table alone, even if what they were talking about would definitely go over his head and there wasn’t enough dancing for it to be a real party. Getting on the table and dancing was starting to become a more attractive idea by the second.

They’d been dating long enough for there to be a little voice in his head he called his Inner Bastion, which served as both a voice of reason and about eighty percent of his impulse control (the other twenty percent was divided between Jesse, Jim, and Syrus, though Sy was usually an enabler). It even had a cute British accent. Currently, it was telling him that if the choices were between dancing on the table and suffering through academics, he should go with the lesser of two evils.

It didn’t bar him from getting more alcohol, though, which was good because he definitely needed it. Just because everyone else was still upright and had all their clothes and there hadn’t been an impromptu karaoke battle didn’t mean he couldn’t have his own little party. Bastion could carry him out if needed.

“Thanks, dude,” Jaden was glad their assigned table was by the server station, meaning he didn’t have to go more than a few feet to get more of this angry grape juice. Too bad they didn’t have anything harder or else he’d be about ten rum and pineapples deep.

A real party should be impossible to navigate, everyone sweaty and close together, the music too loud to talk over unless you were right against someone’s ear or yelling so loud your throat hurt the next day. The most difficult part of reaching Bastion was walking sideways between chairs so he didn’t have to disturb anyone sitting down, which was a total bummer. He’d seen Bastion at a party with his other PhD candidate friends and they could throw down. Fucking school ruining everything, he thought sourly, trying to keep his face neutral as he got closer.

Just like he’d predicted, he could hear the adviser talking to Bastion about his upcoming exam, which sounded like gibberish to Jaden. He knew what an integral was and the difference between speed and velocity but other than that he couldn’t keep up, no matter how many times he helped Bastion study.

Deciding it was best not to interrupt their discussion of stellar evolution, which would be a great name for a mixtape, he tried to formulate a plan of attack to stand between them without looking awkward as hell. Alexis and Bastion were too damn close though, which he normally thought was adorable because they were best friend science buddies and Bastion’s tie matched Alexis’ dress, which wasn’t relevant but still insanely cute, and there would be no way for him to stand there without squeezing in and being a disruption. He’d just have to stand by Bastion’s side and take his chances. Hopefully none of these academic wizards would want to talk to him because the only thing he knew well was dueling and that probably wouldn’t fly with these nerds.

Jaden loved nerds. Bastion was a massive nerd and he loved him a lot, especially when he got excited about something and he’d start rambling, sticking a pencil behind his ear and gesticulating (usually at an equation he’d written on his office wall) and Jaden was totally content to pay his tuition with that sweet, sweet dueling cash if it meant he got to see him so happy. Jaden loved that kinda nerd. These stuffy nerds were a different story, completely uncharted territory. They probably didn’t cry tears of happiness when they finished a hard problem and probably didn’t look up at the stars and talk about extraterrestrial life and how rad space travel would be. That was the flavor of nerd he was used to.

Bastion was in the middle of saying something about electrons when Jaden came to stand next to him, their shoulders brushing, announcing his presence in the most subtle way Jaden had ever cut into a conversation ever. Damn, he should be flouncing over, totally drunk, kissing Bastion in the middle of the ballroom and shouting that his boyfriend was mega smart and that tie would be used to bind Bastion to the headboard later. Instead he had a flute glass and was sliding an arm around his boyfriend, trying to be quiet and unassuming. What fucking alternate universe was he in?

“—the expansion of—” Bastion stopped speaking to look down at Jaden, smiling once he realized it wasn’t some random person leaning on him. “Dr. Zweinstein, this is Jaden. I don’t think you two have met yet.”

Of course Bastion would be nice and make introductions.

“Hey,” Jaden switched the glass to his left hand so he could shake with his right. “Bas has told me a lot about you.”

Hopefully that counted as enough of a conversation. Bastion was very warm and his arm was now around Jaden, which was awesome because now he could lean into his boyfriend. Normally Jaden would talk more, but this whole situation was lowkey uncomfortable and he was out of his element given how fancy this gala was. Gala. What a dumb word. It sounded so fancy and exciting yet it was boring as hell.

“He’s told me about you as well,” Dr. Zweinstein spoke with a faint German accent and Jaden wondered if PhD programs only brought in people with sick accents to make them seem more exotic. Alexis was the only American he’d met in the parade of Bastion’s higher education friends. “You’re a duelist?”

“Yeah,” Jaden wanted them to go back to talking about physics. Zweinstein was the same height but he still felt like he was being looked down on, his eyes looking over the rim of his glasses and a faint downturn of his wrinkled old mouth. Yeah, that was about right. Bastion never made him feel like he was dumb or anything, except when he was being really dumb and that usually involved some scheme he and Syrus had cooked up that might risk them bodily harm or gastrointestinal discomfort.

“I’m sure that’s exciting.” Zweinstein didn’t sound genuine, more condescending.

Bastion must’ve sensed that things were about to go downhill. “Jaden has been a big help. I don’t think I would’ve passed your last exam without him.”

That was sweet, really, but Jaden had just graded a practice test, which didn’t involve anything but looking at the nicely circled x = whatever after an endless parade of calculus and checking them against an answer key. It’s not like he could help Bastion if he got in a real pickle, which is why he often saw his boyfriend dialing Alexis’ number at ass o’clock at night, standing in front of the wall where he’d attempted a problem with a worn-down pencil and tension in his shoulders.

“Oh, nonsense. You and Alexis are my best students. I think the two of you were born to do this.”

That was less sweet. The part about him helping Bastion being nonsense, that is. Bastion and Alexis were the best because they were Bastion and Alexis, so he could agree with that. Jaden shifted, crossing his arms over his chest, feeling very defensive because he may not have been a braniac but he did try to help in whatever capacity he could. Fuck this stuffy ass gala.

He felt fingers nudging at him, and he looked over to see Alexis reaching behind Bastion and prodding his side, smiling at him. She looked exquisite in that dress, the gold matching her eyes and making her look like the absolute queen she was. Jaden overcame his extreme annoyance at Dr. Asswipe—it really was unfortunate the guy had been kinda dickish because Bas talked about him like the guy invented the sun—to smile at her. Damn the two of them for standing so close together he couldn’t squeeze in.

Honestly, that’s probably how everyone felt when he and Syrus were together, but that was different. Jaden and Syrus were the awesomest at parties and if Syrus were here instead of watching Alexis’ boyfriends duke it out on prime time television they could play a drinking game at least. Not like Bastion wouldn’t play drinking games with him, but since he was one of the guests of honor its not like he could get totally shitfaced. That was another reason this party sucked. Alexis and Bastion should be messes right now, needing to be scraped off the floor because it was their party and they deserved to celebrate like he did after winning a duel.

The conversation had blessedly switched away from Jaden and back to stars or whatever the “post AGB phase” was. It probably wasn’t too late to fake a stomachache, he thought as he sipped more of the prosecco, looking aimlessly into the crowd of people, half-listening to Bastion’s voice as he talked about shell burning (yet another great name for a mixtape), but Syrus’ text about being supportive echoed in his head. He could stick it out for Bastion.

It was hard, though, to listen to all these big words and not know anything about what was going on. If it were just the two of them, Jaden would interrupt and ask his boyfriend to explain something in very small words so he could at least sorta understand enough to be engaged, but they weren’t at home or in the car or even at Starbucks. Maybe he should’ve just stayed at the table and texted Syrus or tried to livestream Zane and Aster’s duel. The only good thing that had come out of leaving his seat was that Bastion’s arm was around him, keeping their sides pressed together, and that Bastion was clearly very excited about whatever they were talking about and he sounded so happy.

Taking another sip of wine, Jaden glanced up at his boyfriend, how he was smiling while saying huge-ass words that meant nothing to Jaden, who couldn’t spell ‘necessary’ or ‘license’ without googling it first. This was his element, this academic wasteland, devoid of personality and individualism, the only thing here facts and figures and research that took countless hours. The blazer felt itchy, restrictive, weighing heavily on his shoulders and making it hard to breathe. Jaden had never been in this part of Bastion’s world before. Usually the extent was watching him and several other students gathered around the coffee table or sequestered in the office, studying together or shooting the shit, and none of them had been this type of boring, flat, lifeless, damn near oppressive type of academic.

“Jaden.”

Zweinstein was speaking to him again, and Jaden halted his thoughts about how he was itchy and hot and overall uncomfortable to focus.

“Yeah?” He tried not to think of how he sounded raspy and lowkey kinda pathetic.

“Bastion says you were recently in Zurich.”

That wasn’t really recent, but yeah. “I had a tournament there a couple months ago. Nice place, but super cold.”

“I was just telling Bastion that we have several job openings in Zurich with one of our sister universities,” Zweinstein continued, still looking at Jaden over his glasses and he could’ve sworn the man was speaking slower, like he was unsure Jaden could understand him. The itchy, tight feeling intensified, and Jaden gripped onto the wine glass and tried to think of the way Chazz pitched a fit on television when Jaden had dropped his life points to zero last week. “I think it would be a good fit once he completes the program.”

A job? Overseas? There would be worse things, Jaden supposed. He wasn’t about to have a conversation about important life decisions right here, though. “That’s cool.”

“That’s a word for it.” Zweinstein drawled.

“I appreciate the offer, but I think I’ll probably end up staying around here.” Thankfully Bastion was there to speak again because Jaden was about ten seconds from smashing his glass in his turtle-looking face.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Zweinstein looked from Jaden to Bastion. “Though it is possible to be a duelist anywhere in the world. I hope you don’t let your partner’s career dictate yours.”

Jaden was hot, burning hot. The air was so thick it hurt to breathe, fingers twitching around the glass, and not even the feeling of Bastion’s hand squeezing his shoulder could calm the burning rage within him. Who the fuck was this man to stand here and insinuate that Jaden was—was holding Bastion back? Bastion had never said anything of the sort, not even implied it. Yeah, Jaden was loud and largely inappropriate and not book-smart and Bastion was proper and restrained and did Sudoku for fun but he would never, ever do anything knowing it would limit his boyfriend in his academic or career pursuits.

Coming over here was a mistake.

“’scuse me,” Jaden ducked out from under Bastion’s arm, needing to get away before he said something that would get him thrown out of this stupid-ass gala. His hip knocked into a table, jostling the silverware and startling the people sitting down, walking so fast the mostly-full glass was sloshing onto his sleeve, overcome with a burning need to get away from this gathering of pretentious fucks.

He knocked into more tables, tipping a chair over on its side as he made his exit. The door to the outside was his goal, as the night air would surely offer some sort of respite. Vaguely, he heard his name being called, but the blood was pounding in his ears and he couldn’t decipher who had called for him. It didn’t matter, as not even Bastion could make him go back to that horseshit conversation where he was being insulted for merely existing. What the fuck had he done to Zweinstein?

Pushing the ballroom door open with his shoulder and sloshing more wine onto the blazer, Jaden stepped into the hallway, hanging a right and heading for the exit doors where he could cool off and preferably stay outside until this nonsense was over. There were a couple of staff members standing by the door, and they opened it for him with a smile that he didn’t have it in him to return, finally stepping out and feeling like he was able to breathe once again.

It was easier to breathe but he was still hot and itchy. Sitting down on the top step, Jaden set down his glass and tore off the wine-soaked blazer, a passing thought of how it was his boyfriend’s and he should probably be more careful with it was silenced by angry thoughts of how he should summon Flame Wingman to burn this whole dumbass building down. Too bad he didn’t have his duel disk. That would’ve been satisfying. As long as Bastion and Alexis got out first.

Resting his head in his hands, acutely aware he looked like Cinderella, sitting here on the top of the steps after making a speedy exit from a ballroom, he heard Zweinstein’s words over and over again, taunting him. Was that it? Was the perception of their relationship that Jaden was somehow stunting Bastion’s professional and academic prospects?

Probably, another voice spoke up. They’d always been kinda an odd couple, proof that the old adage of ‘opposites attract’ wasn’t just a cliché. Jaden remembered when they’d first gotten together back in undergrad of how, while the squad had seen it coming for months and was totally cool with it, the other students at Duel Academy did make a few passing comments about how Bastion was ‘too good’ for him. It hadn’t bothered him back then because everything was shiny and new and he was totally gonna be a kickass pro duelist trophy boyfriend and Bastion was gonna name a star after him (something Bastion had actually said in a post-sex cuddle sesh, which had made Jaden feel enough love for the man to explode) and they were gonna prove everyone wrong. But now, feeling the air dance across his burning cheeks, staring down at the concrete steps, thinking about how the entire night he’d felt out of place, he entertained the thought that maybe, just maybe, there was some merit to what Zweinstein had said. Bastion would probably do better with someone that could keep up with him in the braincell department, someone he could talk about his passions with that didn’t involve multiple interruptions to define terms.

Shit, this was stupid. Jaden looked up at the sky, thinking about how he sounded like a dumb teenager to himself but unable to shake the feeling that maybe this gala had revealed something crucial, something he’d never considered before. The wine he’d spilled on himself was starting to dry, making his skin feel sticky and tight, heightening the feeling of general discomfort that had settled into his skin and overtaken him from the second he’d stepped in the ballroom, raised to a fever pitch by that stupid doctor. Going back inside felt impossible though. Better to just sit out here and tamp down on these feelings, forget about this entirely. The steps were uncomfortable and there were still a few stragglers coming in, their eyes landing on him briefly before continuing their way up the stairs. It’d be better to wait in the car but Bastion had the keys and was almost pathological about locking doors, meaning he’d have to go back inside to get them. That wasn’t gonna happen unless Jaden got one free punch aimed at Zweinstein.

He’d sit out here, then. That’d be fine. He had most of his phone battery left and a backlog of updates from Syrus; plus if all else failed he could call Jesse to pass the time. Bastion and Alexis could enjoy the gala in their honor and Jaden wouldn’t get arrested for assault. It would be fine, he reassured himself, though he still heard the echoes of doubts and insecurities and the visions of Bastion galivanting around with another obscenely smart person that wouldn’t feel out of place in his world, would compliment him better. The Inner Bastion voice that had discouraged him from dancing on the table was now spouting out how it was illogical to feel these things when Bastion had never come close to implying that Jaden wasn’t enough for him, and he did his damnedest to listen to it. That proved to be difficult, the persistent itch under his skin and the heat in his face not caring that his Inner Bastion was right. Digging in the front pocket for his phone, he felt his fingers shaking, covered in a cold sweat, unable to grasp the device.

Fucking fine, then. He could just sit here. He could just chill out. He was the ultimate at chilling, had taught Bastion how to turn that brain off and enjoy himself.

“Jaden?”

Was that his Inner Bastion trying to get him to calm himself down and stop worrying about nothing? It sounded louder, more insistent now, like the real Bastion sounded when Jaden was about to down seven Coke floats because Syrus got through six before he puked.

“Jaden?”

That definitely wasn’t in his head. Twisting around, Jaden looked up to see Bastion coming out of the building, walking toward him, blazer open and swishing with his steps, tie off-kilter. What the hell was Bastion doing out here? He should be inside.

“What?” Bastion was standing in on the steps by him now, looking confused and worried. Shit, he must’ve said that out loud. “I’m not going to stand inside while you’re out here, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Dude, this is your party.” Jaden felt a new wave of guilt for storming out and disrupting his boyfriend’s moment in the sun, especially after Bastion had spent an inordinate amount of time posing for pictures with Jaden after he won a duel or taken a red-eye flight to get back to the university in time for classes after joining him at a tournament. “Seriously, Bas. Get back in there.”

“Jaden,” Bastion was sitting down next to him, using that serious voice that Jaden recognized as the one meaning he wasn’t going to entertain an argument.

Jaden didn’t have anything to say that wasn’t going to be either argumentative or let these anxious, unfounded thoughts spill out, so he just huffed and stared straight ahead.

There was silence for a moment. Usually their silences weren’t uncomfortable as they’d been together far too long to feel the need to fill every moment with inorganic conversation. This was an uncomfortable silence and Jaden could feel Bastion looking at him, practically feel the way he was turning words over in his mind, wanting to broach the subject of that unfortunate encounter with his faculty adviser. Jaden didn’t know if he wanted to talk about it or not, really. If he made Bastion feel like he couldn’t interact with the person helping him complete his doctorate then he really would be holding him back just like Zweinstein said; if he didn’t say anything then he’d either have to abstain from coming to these uptight academic gatherings, maybe miss out on more important accomplishments, in order to not be subjected to this condescending bullshit.

This situation sucked.

“Jaden,” Bastion had apparently finished deciding how to begin.

“Yeah?”

“You won’t have to worry about Dr. Zweinstein saying anything else to you.”

“What?” Jaden looked over to him, feeling more guilt, more anxiety twisting his insides. “What’d you say to him? Bas, you better not have—”

“I told him to shove it.” Bastion interrupted, a slight smile breaking his face, eyes shining with amusement. “Not in as many words, but you know.”

“You told the guy who holds your future by the short and curlies to shove it?”

“Jaden, sweetheart,” Bastion’s arm wound around his shoulders, pulling him to his side. Jaden was slightly off-guard, feeling new heat rise to his cheeks at the pet name. His boyfriend didn’t use them often, didn’t really use nicknames either, referring to Alexis by her full name when everyone else said ‘Lex’, almost never calling him ‘Jay.’ Leaning his head against Bastion’s shoulder, feeling the fabric of his blazer against his cheek, he listened as Bastion continued. “I think you’ve overestimated the influence he has on me. I’m not so starstruck that I’m going to let him speak to you like that.”

That was probably the nicest, most political way for Bastion to say that he was overreacting. Maybe if Jaden had stayed a moment longer, hadn’t made a scene, he would’ve been able to see Bastion clap back. That would’ve been infinitely better than knocking over a chair and spilling wine everywhere.

“Do people,” Jaden tried to keep his voice steady, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning more heavily on Bastion’s side. “Do people say stuff like that a lot?”

“No,” Bastion’s cheek leaned on his head, breath moving his bangs as he sighed. “A few people have. They learn not to.”

“Thanks for defending my honor,” Jaden wanted to make it sound like a joke, lighten the mood and lift the weight that was settling inside him.

“I don’t need nor appreciate input on where I’ve chosen to lay my affections.”

“Maybe they’re right, you know.” Jaden couldn’t stop it from tumbling out, wincing a second later. That was pathetic. He sounded like the protagonist in that soap opera he’d binged last week at Syrus’ insistence, the two of them laid out on the couch, definitely not sober, laughing at how stupid and dramatic the script was. Now he was doing the same shit he’d mocked.

“No, they most definitely are not.”

The conviction in that statement jump-started his heart, making him lift up his head, staring into Bastion’s eyes. Protests were on the tip of his tongue, even as his Inner Bastion was telling him to listen to the Outer Bastion and not the flurry of irrational thoughts clouding his mind. They died as Bastion pulled him closer, reaching out to lay his hand over one of Jaden’s.

“I wanted you to come with me tonight. Not just because you’re my partner but because you’re my inspiration.” Bastion squeezed his hand and Jaden grabbed onto him, probably too tightly but his heart was pounding and his boyfriend’s hands were bigger and really warm and he needed the feeling of their palms pressed together to calm himself. “You’ve been so supportive of me, helped me even when you don’t understand, tolerated me staying up all night grading papers, and never complained about me repainting parts of the office when I run out of room to write on the walls. I wanted you to be here tonight. Dr. Zweinstein can take his opinions elsewhere.”

They were silent, just looking at each other, and Jaden felt like he should say something, but he couldn’t. His mind was blank, which was unfortunate because his heart was full and he wanted to thank Bastion for coming out here, for defending him, for being so perfect and wonderful, for being so loving. The anxieties and thoughts of not being enough, the image of Zweinstein staring at him over his glasses, those horrid fantasies of Bastion being with some nameless, faceless person in a lab coat—they all dissipated. They weren’t buried, just gone, like they’d never occupied his thoughts. His Inner Bastion was very smugly telling him that Jaden should’ve listened to him in the first place.

“How’d I get so lucky?” Jaden laughed, a real laugh, leaning in to kiss his boyfriend, pressing their lips together, feeling Bastion’s hand tighten around his own. Lingering for just a moment longer, he pulled back, resting their foreheads together, feeling lighter and happier and overwhelmingly content.

“I’m the lucky one.” Bastion smiled, tightening his hold on Jaden’s shoulders. “Will you come back inside with me?”

“Sure, yeah,” Jaden refrained from adding that if Zweinstein even looked at him the wrong way he’d throw a wine glass at him.

“Oh, here.” Bastion’s hold on him was gone and he was shrugging out of his blazer. “Take this.”

“Sorry,” Jaden looked down at the still-wet sleeves of his own blazer. “I’ll do laundry when we get home.”

“It’s quite alright. Please don’t do laundry. The last time you turned all of my white shirts gray.”

“Hey, come on,” Jaden stuck his tongue out, heard Bastion laughing at him. “I looked cute in that apron, though.”

“I’m not sure stapling hand towels together and tying them around your waist counts as an apron.”

“You aren’t denying that I looked cute.”

“No, I’m not.” Bastion helped Jaden out of his blazer, draping his own over Jaden’s shoulders.

There was something heavy in the front pocket of Bastion’s blazer, too big to be a phone, not jingly enough to be keys. “Babe?”

“Mmm?”

“What’s in here?”

“A flask.”

Bastion brought a flask? “I’m not complaining, babe, but, uh—why?”

“Well,” Bastion pushed up his sleeve to look at his watch, the one Jaden had gotten him for his birthday, the face decorated with little stars that glowed in the dark. “Alexis is giving a speech in about five minutes. Thought you might like to play a drinking game.”

“I’ve never been more in love with you than at this moment.” Jaden shot up, extending a hand to his boyfriend, who was laughing and looking perfect with that boring white shirt and eyes reflecting the starlight. “Let’s go back inside.”

#darkmagiattack #asks #tutorshipping #this was so fun thank you for requesting!!!!#i know this was supposed to be a fluffy ask but its insecure jaden hours

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