#i would not use the word retarded lightly as a joke or insult but there is truly no other word to perfectly describe

[sunspira]

also finding out the discrepancy between my other cognitive skill scores and my working memory was abnormally extreme even for adhd people was very validating it definitely points to a more severe case and i had definitely been feeling like how come some adhd people are barely affected by it and some are like me like almost unable to perceive time (tho i'm getting better at this with intensive practice and special neurodivergent friendly tactics but it was never going to be something that i learned naturally)

"Catherine's is 55 points lower" instead of the average adhd persons 8.3 made my jaw drop tbh.

i definitely figured i was imagining it but no it's really um a bit debilitating and serious as a disability and stuff. I know i can come to adapt to it and live my best life but specialized therapy to adapt to the deficit and target the underdeveloped cognitive skills with special training and practice was very much needed and i'm glad i'm doing it now

IQ tests are dumb but i gotta admit being adhd i thought i was a little bit stupid my whole life but just good at school stuff until i was 21 and they had to test my IQ for the adhd diagnosis and the fact that it was a bit high was huge for my self esteem. i genuinely did not believe in myself like that at all i was expecting something very average. and it was healing to know that too since my ability to do school work fell off abruptly in college and thinking that was the one thing i was good at had left me was kinda more than a little scary so knowing i might have some intrinsic good parts of my brain still left was helpful to hear and healing i can't lie

[darkstrangevirgilanxiboi]

Notes From Someone Who Grew Up With An Autistic Brother

My brother is autistic. And if you've never met anyone with autism , you might be misinformed about how autistic people are. My brother is NOT: * Stupid * Unwilling to learn * Misbehaved * A 'forever child ' My brother is a smart MAN. He's gonna be 22(?!?! I'm crying he's so big now I'm so proud ?) next week on the 13th . Anyway here's some things I want you to know about my brother Josh , his autism , AND HOW IT DOES NOT ALL MAKE HIM A BURDEN OR A PROBLEM OR ANY LESS OF A GREAT PERSON ( if you don't like my brother or autistic folks , fight me ) ( FIGHT ME, I MEAN IT, I'LL SWING ON YA RIGHT NOW DENISE) - Firstly ya gotta know autism is a spectrum and it affects everyone differently so this isn't a go-to post for every autistic person / curious person - Second , autism affects social skills. People with autism are more likely to have social anxiety, have speech impediments , and tend to function poorly in crowds . But!!! If you work really hard to become friends with someone with autism ? They're probably gonna love you for life? My brother is shy as hell but if you are patient and are nice to him and listen to him when he talks he's gonna respect you so much? People tend to interrupt my brother, he stutters a lot when he talks and repeats himself. But if you show enough respect and let him say what he needs to , he'll like that. And once you're friends ? He info dumps so much on you that you forget he's a shy mess in public .( get him going about Power Rangers and he's absolutely adorable he gets so detailed and so pumped ! ) Honestly just be nice enough to spend quiet time getting to know what they like and what makes them comfortable and they'll warm up to you. I remember the first conversation I ever had with my brother was about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I was like five? He was four. Until that day he didn't really talk to me. But it was rainy that morning , mom was still asleep and dad was at work . Josh was in his room watching the show when I wandered in with my cereal bowl in hand. He glanced at me , and quietly goes " Wanna watch ? It's funny! There's a real smart guy who I think you'll like. " And so, I sit down and a few minutes later I'm listening to my brother gush over characters and plot and bad guys and at one point he hugged me and said " Thanks for listenin', mom and dad don't" And from that day on , I tried harder to get to know my brother. He's a sweetheart who loves unusual trivia , mysteries, animals ( no really he's got books on animal trivia ) and watches everything from historical documentaries to fan theories on his favorite shows. HE INTRODUCED ME TO BLEACH, HE GOT ME INTO ANIME YOU GUYS Honestly I've bonded so much with him over shows and characters and I've learned a lot about him by watching his reactions over the years. I have a lot of feelings about Dragon Ball Z and the Ninja Turtles because those two shows were what my brother and I first watched together , and we had such deep chats during commercials . My brother relates to Michelangelo and Raphael the most because he says ' I get Raph, you know? He doesn't know how to ....how to say....how to feel out loud, right? He doesn't know the rules to feelings. And Mikey's lonely because he just wants people to like him for himself but it's hard because the world sees him as wrong even though it's not his fault and he didn't want to be different. I feel like that because people... People look at me like they want me to be this one thing , and I can't be , so they're mad and disappointed. I'm not normal to them , but I...I mean ? I'm normal for me! This is my normal, and everyone is normal in a special way. " During Dragon Ball Z, he suddenly goes : " Do ...do you think people would ... You think if they could see the world the way I do....you think they'd pick having autism? I know everyone without it thinks it's bad, but ... But sometimes I like being autistic. I like the way I notice background noise , or the details on someone's face, or all the ways something feels. I dunno I think maybe I get to know the world a lot better ? " - Emotional difficulty. My brother has trouble expressing and reading emotions , that's true. But he understands them. And he taught me a lot of lessons. My brother gets angry with himself a lot because he can't communicate what he needs, but he tries super hard not to hurt anyone with his anger. He'll throw a tantrum in his room , but he avoids other people until he's calm enough not to just blindly lash out. And when he'd bicker with my sister , and things got physical ( like siblings fights do ) he was always very careful not to hit her. Sometimes he'd lightly slap her arm or hand if she hit him , but he didn't raise a fist to her. And he'd just let her work out her anger and then hug her when she was done. ' I know you weren't upset at me and it's okay to be upset , but don't hurt anyone when you're upset anymore , you don't think right when you're mad. ' - Hyper focusing is a thing and sometimes it's no fun to deal with. Tv portrays it as cute hobbies or interests but it's also times when my brother couldn't sleep because the number of tree branches outside his window changed. It's my brother not being able to relax unless his collection of comfort toys are all on his bed. It's my brother breaking down in tears because his lucky childhood lion stuffed animal was falling apart and he was convinced he wasn't going to have any more good days in his life. ( my grandma mended it it's ok) My brother binges shows all day and doesn't remember to eat sometimes. Hyperfocusing can be cutesy but it can also be very serious . - Hyper Sensitivity is weird because some days ? My brother is fine and doesn't care what he wears or what he eats. But other days he won't wear anything too scratchy , or he won't eat anything too crunchy , or he won't leave the house because the wind is too much. I'm used to it , but to my childhood neighbours my brother seems eccentric and bizarre . - Physical Affection ALWAYS. ASK.FIRST.WITH.AUTISTIC.PEOPLE. I never hug my brother unless I ask him first or he initiates it. If I hugged him without permission , he'd get a panic attack and freeze up. He just doesn't like surprise touch. But once he lets you hug him ? It's the best! He gives such affectionate hugs and honestly for a minute in his arms my depression is cured. Just ask first to grab their hand or tap their shoulder or pat their head. It gives them more control over their environment and it shows you respect them. - Don't try to correct their stims or coping mechanisms. SERIOUSLY I'VE SEEN PEOPLE DO THIS SHIT TO MY BROTHER My brother wrings his hands together and makes noises to relive stress or work off extra energy, and he also talks to himself.( usually an ongoing role play in his head ) A lot of autistic people do things like this. It's called 'stimming'. I don't understand why running his fists against his forehead eases his anxiety when he's upset, but I don't tell him not to do it because that's how his brain tells him to calm down. If you take away their stimming, you take away their normal way of dealing with stress and emotions . Let them stim , maybe try to lessen the damage if it's a harmful stim ( biting fingers, pulling hairs, knocking head against things ) ,but let them stim! And!!! Stims!!! CHANGE!!!! My brother used to say things four times when he was upset because his nickname is four letters ( his full name is Joshua ) and the way he explained it was " if I hear why I'm mad four times it gives me four chances to settle down " He doesn't do that anymore. Now he just repeats the words " It's stupid , I'm stupid for being mad " until he calms down. In public his stimming is different - he'll twist a corner of his shirt in his hands or hum under his breath or nod a lot. When he's super anxious he paces endlessly and can't seem to move fast enough to please himself. Sometimes he'll just run through the house until he's calm. I've seen my own dad tell him not to pace ! It calms him down and it's not hurting anyone let him pace jfc -They don't always tell you but they listen My brother knows the rude things people say about him. He listens to people talking to try and learn how to talk better , and he hears . He hears the insults , the jokes. He knows the math teacher thinks he's a retard. He knows the other kids make fun of his stutter. He sat in the lunchroom and listened to those around him making fun of him. He KNOWS. And he avoids being friends with anyone who'd mock him while he was a mere fifteen feet away. Anyway please be kind to autistic people and their families . But also be looking out for autistic people who don't have good families,whose families are ashamed of their autism.

[bluedino15]

One last thing on the issue of using the word Retard

Okay, sorry I’ve made so many comments, put down so many questions, and already made a post less than an hour ago, but I’m getting tired of this and want to get my last point out before I stop bothering with this.

I am a fan of the series Glitchtale and @camilaart. The effort she puts in is super impressive, from drawing and time, to thought and detail. Nothing I am about to say is intended to devalue anything Camila has made or continued to make, (heck, why would I still be subscribed to her on twitch (as BlueYoshi15) and give her money if I hated her?) and I will continue to be a fan of her unless she did something actually evil like murder.

I understand that you’ve been going through a pretty shitty Month. You have to deal with stupid asks every day, people rushing your work despite being told not to, and people who just insult you because they don’t like your series on a daily basis. In addition, you had someone upload your work without permission and in defiance of your requests, and then said person ended up getting your video taken down because YouTube doesn’t work. Your main source of revenue was practically taken away from you, which would drive anyone to a nervous wreck. People acted like the guy did nothing wrong even after you made several videos and posts explaining how terrible things were. You’ve probably gotten anxious because you have lost the motivation to animate for a while, which means no progress on episode 4 (unless it happens off stream). So I totally understand why you would not be in the mood to have someone get angry at you when you said a word that you know as being a standard insult.

The problem is that I think that anger has clouded your judgement. And I can’t exactly blame you for being angry beforehand, or for being angry or annoyed when some people go too far in their responses (such as that “lovely” fellow who responded to Jakei).

But there are some things I want to address. To counter some points I’ve seen put forth by yourself or others.

1) “other people On the internet like Markiplier or Pewdiepie say stuff like shit and fuck all the time and they get away with it”: the thing is that retard isn’t just a nasty curse word. It’s been morphed into a slur (more on that later), something which those you tubers generally stay away from (and if I recall, people lost their shit way more when PewDiePie made those anti-Semitic remarks, and have hated him for some of his older, vulgar rape jokes). If you said something like “shitfucktitscocksblowjobhellcrapinanashole” it’d definitely not be child friendly, but it would also be just be average cursing. The problem is that retard is seen as a semi-slur

2) “it’s the internet, I can say what I want”: I won’t deny that. But if you can say what you want, we at least have the right to try and request that you not, along with some reasons why. Is asking more than once too much? Maybe, but it can also sometime help clarify our point.

3) “what gives you guys the right to curse at me”: again, a slur is seen differently from a curse. Though that said, I think those guys who have no patience and act high and mighty compared to you, or the ones that just say stuff like "wow Cami, way to be a real class fucking act" are being self-righteous assholes.

4) “what’s so bad about the word “retard” if I just use it to mean someone of below average intelligence and direct it at someone specific”: as I’ll get into the next point, that word has a different connotation. Yes, the literal definition just means someone who isn’t as smart as the average person, and that kid certainly wasn’t smart. But in America, the word has an additional emotional attachment that has transformed it into a slur for people with mental disabilities. To Americans, Using it like an insult is like unironically using gay as an insult; it implies that it is “wrong” to be retarded even though that can’t be controlled. Some Americans today see it as targeting people with a mental condition instead of calling someone dumb. To make an extreme comparison, it would be like using Oriental. Technically, it means someone of Asian decent. Culturally, it’s been associated as a word meant to make Asians seem like a lower race of beings. Because of the ugly emotional attachment of the word “retard,” it can’t be taken easily be taken lightly even in your given context. I know how you meant for it to be used, but it won’t come off that way to everyone.

5) “Americans and/or SJW’s need to grow up and learn not everything needs to be how they want it.” I fully agree that The USA is terrible about imposing it’s culture on others. I also think that there are SJW’s who overreact to certain issues. But if being Chilean means the word means nothing to you and you shouldn’t be blamed for using it, then being American can mean the words means a lot to us and we can get upset. Do you have to take our view? No. But it feels rude when you give the impression that my country is stupid for having a culture that believes that word is offensive (though maybe I’m reading too deep). As for SJW’s, just be careful with that term. There’s a thin line between someone who’s overzealous and someone who has legitiment grievances with problems, such as people who might, say, try for equal race and sex representation in gaming

6) “I see people with autism who say they don’t mind at all that I used retard, so others should just grow thick skin, especially considering I wasn’t insulting them anyway”:Yes, I understand that you did not intent to insult people with mental disabilities at any point and that you hold no Ill views against them. But there are people who have been hurt by that word. I should know pretty damn well considering how kids in my troop made fun of me for having aspergers. Having a mental condition is horrible when there are people who do make fun of you for it with words like “retard.” So that word cannot be taken easily by everyone who's been bullied for it. Make a TRIGGERED joke if you like, but it really can be like that.

7) “that kid make my life hell and I need to apologize for using a word?”: no. That kid deserves jack-shit for what he tried to pull. It’s not that we’re worried about how he feels about being called a retard. It’s the casual use of the word that’s the issue for most. And also the fact that you defend using that word casually and seemingly haven’t shown any consideration for the points people who take issue make. But if you deserve maybe some explanatory words, he deserves a kick to the balls.

8) “If you knew the context, you would understand”: yes, you used the word to call a single kid dumb. But, as I detailed above, there are people who are uncomfortable that you used the word outside of it the manner it is considered acceptable (someone who clinically is proven to have a mental problem). I admit that I suspect that guy had a problem, but to call him retarded without knowing if he truly is clinically retarded or not seems wrong.

9) “apparently I need to be some bastion of perfection or else I suck.”: no, that’s not it. I don’t think any sensible person expects you to be perfect. But if they are uncomfortable with you using a word, they do have the right to ask you stop using that word because they don't like anyone, either a star or a random joe using the word like that. Whether or not you listen is up to you, but I don’t think it’s too high of an expectation

10) “You guys get angry at me for using a slur when there’s so much worse in the world? You have crappy priorities”: Pardon, but i don’t see how being offended by word use means I don’t worry about anything else. Heck, I’m a liberal American. I have a contractual obligation to get pissed at my government and country every day. But taking some time to write a post or response does not mean ignoring the rest of the world’s problems (though I personally have probably spent way more time on this then I should).

That’s my lengthy post. I probably assumed a lot of wrong stuff here, accused you of saying things you didn’t and gave some people who disagreed with you more credit than they deserved. I know that there are dicks who didn’t bother to try being tactful or diplomatic. And I also Don’t blame you for initially using the term, as you would have no idea of what it meant when you never heard of it’s reputation before. In addition, it was wrong of people to jump down your throats as if you intentionally wanted to insult others. I get that you wouldn’t be in a good mood to listen to them when some of them acted like assholes. I guess I just felt slightly bothered that you acted like people who disagreed with you had no reason to do so.

Also, while I don’t think you would need to scrub the word retard from you vocabulary, I do have to ask why being asked to use a different word in the future (such as dumbass) would be that bad. But I also understand that it would be annoying to have to subconsciously think of that every time you speak/type.

Look, I really don’t want to be rude or cause stress. it’s just that I see people who are acting as if you’re 100% right, and I can’t help but argue if I disagree.

TL;DR I feel like Cami acted as if there was absolutely no reason to even be a bit miffed, which I disagree with. That doesn’t mean she’s entirely wrong, but I want to try illustrating that there are reasons to not agree with her on this issue.