#i would not say this track melds its two ideas very well but they sure are both present

[mister-e-muss]

Alright. Time for another Backlog Report. May ‘24

As always, thoughts are below.

Etrian Mystery Dungeon

Being completely honest, I didn’t quite know what to expect with this one. While I know that Mystery Dungeon is a larger series than its iconic crossovers with Pokémon, I wasn’t sure how the formula would work when melded to a different series, especially one as anti-roguelike as Etrian Odyssey.

I enjoyed how the game played out as a shrunken-down version of EO’s team and character building. I liked the idea of locking a dungeon’s layout. IMO, that was a nice way to find a middle ground between EO’s mapping and MD’s random generation.

In a word, I liked it. Do I think it’s a good game? Sure. Do I think it’s a great game? Unfortunately not.

The narrative is painfully sparse. While Etrian Odyssey is known for its sparse narratives, I was hoping for something more along the lines of Etrian Odyssey Untold. It seems perfectly fine for most of it, but the ending feels distinctly undercooked, with the main antagonist not having even a single word of dialogue.

While I locked the combat, it doesn’t feel as deep as could be. For that matter, having the FOE’s require status ailments for any damage to be down just feels like an extra bit of restriction. I don’t like it when customizable games like this have a built-in wrong answer.

The soundtrack is also a mixed bag. This game does have my favorite rendition of The End of Raging Waves, many of the tracks are either unfitting, loop too often, or both. (EO2’s FOE theme was not meant to be an exploration track dammit!)

I enjoyed this game as a whole. But solid gold, it is not.

Final Fantasy XII; The Zodiac Age

To start with, who talks about this game?

No, really, who talks about this game? Who wakes up in the morning, offers their daily prayers to the Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca shrine kept in the closet, and walks out the door thinking “Oh boy, I cannot wait to spend another day telling people about my favorite game of all time: Final Fantasy XII.” (You can’t hear me through the post, but I’m laughing rn because that is a sentence that has never been said.)

FfXII is in a weird place in the series. It isn’t as foundational to the series as the first four, nor as widely popular as VI, VII, and X. It doesn’t quite generate the same vitriol from disappointed fans as XIII, XV, and to a lesser extent, II and VIII. (Btw, playing VIII, and it is just fine.) Even it’s immediate precursor XI is of more value as an object of curiosity in a “What would a FF MMO look like before they made XIV good?” Hell, even when discussing the more overlooked hidden gems among the series, it still has less fans than IX and V. The most people seem to think about this game, myself included before I actually played it, is “Well I know there’s a X, and XIII is supposed to be the Worst Game Evar, so logically there has to be two more in between there.” For that matter, I think the reason why XIII has so many design choices it does, is because XII is also so very much XII.

Looking at the game as a whole, I think it’s easy to see why this one slipped so hard under the radar. Final Fantasy XII is not a game that presents itself all that well. That’s not to say it looks bad or plays bad. If anything the world design is gorgeous. But it is a game that takes a while to reveal the true appeal.

Truthfully, this was one of my first purchases for the switch, alongside Fire Emblem Three Houses and Digimon Story CyberSleuth. (Incidentally, CyberSleuth is a really really good monster catcher game and you should go play it.) Over two years and 60 hours, I explored the world of Ivalice.

The gambits are a great bit of customization. They involve you in the decision-making and let you fine tune a party that functions well enough to tear through superbosses. But it takes until the third hour at least for you to get enough to really start playing around with the system, and even then, it sometimes isn’t as refined as you’d like it to be. Multiple times I wished I could add a second condition to a certain action. Sometimes when playing, I jokingly thought to myself “Man, this gambit system is groundbreaking. Now if only it could be included in a game where combat was fun in its own right.” Why hello there Unicorn Overlord :D!

Playing this game, it felt like I was in conversation with it. One where I wanted it to be something that it wasn’t.

“Do you want to play a game where the main fun of combat doesn’t come from combat itself but by refining your strategies and party-comp?”

“That sounds vague and abstract, but I’m willing to work with it.”

“How about an upgrade/skill tree style of system that restricts you from using equipment until you unlock the very specific ability to use it, and all of the would-be stat boosts are also abstract and don’t actually change your numbers?”

“That just sounds like the Sphere Grid from X, but worse in every conceivable way. Will I receive weapons that don’t benefit any of my party members’ jobs?”

“You’re guaranteed to.”

“Shit.”

“Okay, how about a political drama set in a diverse and expansive world, with a really cool magic-science aesthetic and a culture that isn’t just Europe-but-fancy?”

“That actually sounds pretty cool. You’re going to tie in this grand overarching narrative with individual character arcs that flesh out both person and world right?”

“. . . Kind of. Think less ‘Characters driving plot’ and more along the lines of ‘Plot happens to characters.’”

Briefly touching on the characters: I like most of them, but I wish there was more actually between them. Vaan makes a friendship comment to Ashe in the very late game at it feels almost completely undeserved because These People Don’t Interact. As for Vaan himself, I talked briefly with a mutual of mine about it, and I repeat here. I don’t hate Vaan. I just wish he had more going for him as a protagonist. I kept waiting for him to be an interesting or engaging character and he only had around three moments of substance in the whole game. He has a very undercooked revenge story that lasts for barely 5 hours with sidequests, and beyond that his main job in the party is to Not Know Things, and be wowed by all the pretty sights. There’s an argument to be made about how X did something similar with Tidus, but the key difference there is that Tidus is actually engaging of a character, with a character arc that lasts the whole game, and whose ignorance is used to provide the player and the party extra perspective, even coming to challenge the status quo.

The soundtrack is also not my favorite. Not that it has many bad tracks, just not many that really stick. I still hold that FFIV has one of the best soundtracks in the series. Both this game and Etrian Mystery Dungeon suffer from a common problem with the soundtrack, and it’s an unfortunate side effect of how these games are designed. Seemless integration of combat into exploration also means that there’s very little dedicated combat music, so you’d better enjoy listening to those world themes because they aren’t going anywhere.

For all that FFXII does that doesn’t jell with me completely, I should have hated this game. Either that or forgotten about it like everyone else. Honestly, if I had a wider selection of games in my early Switch library, I might have done just that. And yet for all my grievances with this game, I thoroughly enjoyed my time with it. I loved exploring the world of Ivalice. Even when I finished this game, I’m not entirely sure I was ready to say goodbye to it. However I also really really wanted to start on Harvestella, so off to the very short and underwhelming final dungeon I went.

If you enjoy Xenoblade as a series, I feel like you owe it to yourself to try out Final Fantasy XII. It might not be anyone’s favorite game of all time, but it is worth the time spent.

[borkthemork]

think you can do a drabble based around maddie and marcy? maybe set after season 3 with the two just bonding over sorcery in peace afterall that tragedy. i mainly just wanna see more of the former in fanfiction 'cause she's way too interesting a character not ti have a ton of wriitng based around her.

"We need a cup of grounded Baphomet root."

"You got it!"

"And don't forget to grind it very well," Maddie instructed, tapping her chin as she looked through the book’s contents. “If we don’t do this correctly then we’ll bewitch the entire forest and I really don't want to be grounded for the rest of my life."

Taking the mortar and pestle Marcy smiled, letting out a light scoff. "I think we'll be fine. We've been doing this for months, and you're talking to a guaranteed perfectionist over here.”

That was true, but Maddie still ogled the ingredients in front of her. Everything looked in place. There was a distiller, jars of various contents they scrounged up from the forest, and the whiff of sulfur from the newly-churned pot reassured Maddie enough that yes, they should be on the right track.

The only worry came to exact measurements, or that aforementioned bewitching if they messed up. With the amount of potions and hexes she made during the Battle of Newtopia, Maddie could say that she leveled up enough to handle this rank of magic, but best to be prepared regardless.

Especially now that Marcy was back in one piece...and it would be awful if she had to endure another stressful situation just from a simple mistake in the calculations.

“Hey, Teach.” Marcy walked toward her. Looking down, Maddie was pleased to see that the roots had been grounded to a fine powder. A fine powder full of death and bad choices. “If we grind all of this together, do you think we have enough time for a potion? I was thinking...something spicy.”

“Spicy?” Maddie arched an eyebrow. “If you’re talking about fire potions, we don’t got any ingredients to—”

“No, no. Not like that.”

Okay, so no fire potions. But Marcy wasn’t making any sense at the moment, or at least giving Maddie a straight answer. “Then what are you implying? We’ve done protective seals, bond material, and cursed nutritional dirt. Potions take longer.” Not to mention that they spent an entire day with dark magic. They were practically going to be out past her curfew, which was a massive no in her book. “So what’s the rush?”

“Weelll,” Marcy pursed her lips. She was skipping around the subject again, but before Maddie could say anything else, Marcy grabbed the book and started flipping through. “I took a gander at your book a few hours ago, and I recalled seeing this chapter that talked about advanced healing.”

“Uhuh.”

“And I wanted to see if there’s a way to heal deep scarring, 'cause trying to get treatment back home isn’t uhh—” Marcy rubbed the back of her neck. “—working so good.”

Oh.

Maddie fumbled with her hands for a moment. “Right, Earth doesn’t have magic.”

“We know how to remove scars, but yeah can’t do much with big pharma these days. Well, I can go to Finland, but that’s long-term planning.” Marcy shrugged. “Doesn’t matter anyway. Since I’m here I wanted to research the idea. Doesn’t hurt to try.”

With that, Marcy turned the book. The page she was on displayed numerous pictures and lists about growth and skin development, and sounded like something that could transition Maddie to a Level Four Witch if she and Marcy had the time to fulfill it.

“Okay, I can definitely work with this,” Maddie mumbled. “I’ve never healed scarring before, so I wouldn’t mind practicing if you’re up for that.”

“Totally!” Marcy tapped a finger at her shirt’s center. “Test away. After all, it’s the only way to check out a hypothesis.”

Maddie understood that well, but that wasn’t what she was worried about.

Few nights would pass as the two started their newest project. Advanced healing needed a lot of ethereal products; thankfully, Joe Sparrow and a few messages to-and-from Newtopia had allowed them to gather the materials from the farthest corners of the continent.

Some pinches of obsidian rock salt. Jugs of spider milk. A cache of ticks, axolotl slime, and a whole load of bio-luminescent mushrooms. Everything they gathered were at their purest form, but what surprised the two most of all was that when the book ‘needed ethereal products’ they didn’t expect it to take practically a full month to cover their bases.

Or that Marcy would grow more and more tense with the oncoming passing of days.

Marcy had been chipper about the whole concept — enthusiastic too because who wouldn’t want to be enthusiastic about cheating the natural cycle of body decay? But still, actually hearing mention of what happened months prior was still awkward to partake in.

Maddie wasn’t dense. Observation was a key skill for a witch to have. If one didn’t watch simmered milk then that milk would eventually froth and explode. If one didn’t check the accuracy in volume then consider yourself cursed for all eternity. Observing ingredients was akin to observing people, of how their facial expressions twitched and stretched even when it was hard to see inside their thick skulls.

For Marcy, they were friends. It wasn’t that hard to know when she had something on her mind. Being the enthusiastic assistant she was, any stress that piled on to the work led to the typical signs: Marcy’s voice would get strained in higher pitch, less focused with the work at hand, and trying to get a forward answer from her became straight-up impossible.

So on a day like this, where the blood moon peeked through the canopies and bathed them in light, Maddie had to ask the question:

“Are you alright?”

Marcy glanced at her. Her arms were occupied, stripping the last of the conifer leaves into the bowl below her. “I’m good. Pretty fine if I do say so myself.”

“I think you’re lying.”

Her assistant widened her eyes, but when Maddie stared more Marcy didn’t seem to be that surprised. She just laughed. “Aw c’mon, Maddie. Give me a good reason as to why I’d be lying right now.”

“Well, you’re an inch away from putting the conifers into the Bunsen burner.”

“Wait, I am?”

“And now they’re on fire.” For the fifth time.

Marcy shoved the tinder into the water pot beside her, mumbling a string of ‘Ow’s under her breath. When the smoke fizzled out, Marcy’s shoulders slumped. “Okay, you've got a point. I am pretty out of it today.”

“You want to talk about it?”

"Well," Marcy set her instruments down, and bore wearily at the table's surface. "I just really want this to work. Back on Earth there's a potential guarantee that the scar will heal, but there's still that pesky margin of error, regardless. And even if I get the treatment I need, it'll never remove it.”

"In Amphibia, I've witnessed the miracle of revival and resuscitation,” she continued, starting to gesticulate. “These are things unexplainable to my world's current rules, anything’s possible. So...I just want to make sure this potion doesn’t fail.”

Maddie furrowed her eyebrows. "Why though?"

"Huh?"

"I get it. You want to heal your scar, but what's so bad about having one?" Maddie asked. "It shows you survived, and surviving isn't a bad thing."

Marcy's expression grew illegible.

Maddie stopped. "If it's really personal, I'll just get back to making the—"

"No, no, it's okay." Marcy's lips twitched. She looked exhausted now, and Maddie wondered if she crossed some line in their friendship that should never be crossed. But before she could say anything, Marcy continued. "I'm gonna be honest for a second. Is it okay to spill something dark? Are you okay with that?"

"We're all about dark things here."

Marcy giggled. She stared more into the pot, brewing the concoction to a creamy mush. They both remained like that for a while, until the mush coagulated into clots.

"I don't want to see the mistakes I made."

Maddie glanced at her. The jade pot glow held the outline of her face, accentuating the curve of her brow, the grimace on her lips.

“I don’t want to think it’s selfish, but I have to look at that scar in the mirror everyday,” she said. “It drives me nuts sometimes, can you believe it?” She chuckled. “I wake up everyday and think ‘wow, I cannot believe this happened, and that I trusted a jerk like him’.”

Marcy sprinkled something into the gunk.

“And sometimes, even when I’m trying to be mindful of my causes, then the scar’s association switches from guilt of betraying everyone I love to the guilt of being duped so easily. I can’t win. Pretty dang weird.”

For a moment, Maddie remained silent, not knowing what to say. She had never seen Marcy so downtrodden before. During the Battle of Newtopia, she had only seen a few glimpses of her face during the rescue, and when they returned to Wartwood, any appearance of Marcy grew lesser so due to the stress of oncoming war.

But now, Marcy was showing vulnerability, and it was the first time Maddie grew stunned to no response.

Before Maddie could say anything else, Marcy laughed. She lifted her spoon from the pot contents, and showed off the goop melded to its surface, shiny in the eery light. “Look at that! You know we’re almost finished when it smells like rotten oatmeal! We just need to let it ferment for a while and then the potion should be ready.”

“Hey, Marcy.”

Her assistant paused, a quizzical look on her feature. “Yeah?”

“You know I respect you.” Maddie held her scrutiny. “And the fact you’re very much into dark stuff as much as me.”

“Of course, who doesn’t love eldritch concepts?”

“A lot of people,” Maddie said. The words were stuck in her throat. After all, what was the correct way to say condolences? Either way, she went for it. Marcy needed the support. “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that if this potion is really important to you, I’m going to make sure it works. No mess-ups. No unneeded side-effects. As long as it makes daily life easier for you, then I’ll take the chances. And even if it doesn’t work, perhaps there’s another way. Whatever happens, my book’s always open.”

Maddie recognized the beaming expression on Marcy’s face. It practically lit the entire forest. “Hey, has anyone told you that you’re the best teacher an assistant can ever have?”

Nope. But it was great to be told the first time.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

“Ummmm... happy 11 or full-on-freakout 11?” Yes. The answer is yes. All of that. Both

You want happy Chris? Here’s happy Chris!

CW: Some brief references to Chris’s time with Sir, implied alcohol use at the end. Look, this is real actual fluff and you can’t tell me it’s anything else.

Tagging Chris’s crew:  @burtlederp , @finder-of-rings , @endless-whump , @whumpfigure , @stxckfxck , @slaintetowhump, @astrobly, @newandfiguringitout, @doveotions

The letter comes in the mail addressed to Christopher Stanton, but he’s too scared to open it. Instead he just puts it on the kitchen table and then stares at it, off and on, through the whole fucking day while Jake is gone at meetings and doing all the stuff that Nat used to do, only this is Jake’s house now so he does it all for himself.

Antoni went with him, and officially they don’t take in other rescues yet until everything is ready, so it’s just Chris bouncing around Jake’s house, restless and unsettled, unable to sit still or stop or think about any one thing, he can’t stop thinking about everything.

He’s not sure if it being a big letter is a good sign or a bad one, and he’s too scared to look. He moves from room to room trying to pretend he’s not sneaking glances at the letter every time he has to go back into the kitchen to grab cereal to pour himself a bowl, or makes a sandwich with some chips for lunch.

Or just gets extra glasses of water so that he has to look at it again.

Jake texts to say he’ll be home at four and Chris groans, forcing himself to go outside. Four o’clock is so long, so far away, and he can’t bear to open the letter before then. If he opens the letter and it says bad things, he’ll die. He knows it, he will just curl up on the floor and die.

Outside is a little better. Chris is a flash of blue hair and a swinging silicone feather pendant as he climbs the big tree in the backyard - it’s his favorite thing about the house and when they’d gone looking for houses, Chris had carefully written CLIMBING TREE - reading and writing came back, but reading came back first and is easier than forcing his hand to move in all the ways it used to know without thinking - on the list of pros about this one after they visited. 

Each time his hands curl around a branch and his arms stretch, digging the rounded toe of his sneakers into the tiny spots that only he knows about and feeling the muscles of his thighs tense and push, he feels some of his restless energy dissipate, like the tree is soaking it up.

Somewhere in the tree’s rings, maybe, there will be a little bit of Chris’s energy written a hundred years from now. He has no idea how long trees live, he just likes the idea. He hums to himself once he’s up on the little wooden platform he built with Antoni and Jake to put up here, sitting with his legs crossed, tapping idly with hollow thumps on the wooden slats, listening to birds and squirrels and the breeze.

Somewhere nearby, a dog barks. Sirens, faint, and Chris closes his eyes. Cop car, ambulance, firetruck. Sometimes he can tell which siren is which. This one sounds like cop cars. 

It’s been years and still Chris whispers, “They’re not coming here. They’re, they’re not coming here. They’re not for us.”

His name is Christopher Stanton now, and all his documents are faked but they look real enough, and they’re real to him. The inside of his left wrist is wiped clean, a bit of scarring all that’s left of the way they took his first name but they won’t take his name again.

Not this one, the one he picked for himself. They won’t take that name away.

He gets to keep this one.

He earned it.

He lets outside soothe his jangling nerves, his dancing mind. He doesn’t try to make himself still, but sways a little, back and forth, one hand tapping, the other gripping onto the feather to run fingertips in a constant motion over the ridges carved carefully into the silicone plastic. 

He doesn’t try to think one thought but lets all of them crowd in, trains running on tracks that feel more natural than a single thought ever had. He can think about the way the veins of leaves look in the sunshine, lit from below when he holds them up, a tracery that Antoni draws again and again, murmuring something about what lives under the skin. He can think about that and still hear the squirrels and there’s a white one that lives in the other big tree, and a California scrub jay calls and calls and calls, soft sweet cheeping sounds, or maybe it’s two of them talking to each other.

He thinks of these things and he thinks of the envelope on the kitchen table and even if it’s bad, if they say no, he’ll be okay. He’ll stay here with Jake and Antoni and maybe he can be a shelter worker, too. He can learn to do those things, even if the letter says no.

He’s calmer, outside, with the blue sky above him and the green grass below, suspended on the platform in the tree, like he’s something that doesn’t belong in either place, but instead belongs in both.

If he had wings, Chris thinks, eyes closed to imagine, he’d want to have red-tailed hawk wings. Pretty and reddish - oh, but maybe no, maybe blue jay wings to match his hair. Except he read somewhere about how big wings would have to be to make a human body fly but wouldn’t people have to have hollow bones so they’d weigh less so the wings wouldn’t have to be so big.

There’s a story he reads online about a fairy with wings, curled against his back most of the time, sneaking through human places with a human person he loves. Chris grins at the memory, swaying lightly back and forth in the breeze, letting the cool of it touch his face.

He likes the story about the fairy and his human person. Both of them touched and broken until they didn’t want to be touched anymore. 

Chris likes to be touched, but he understands the feeling.

Somehow the hours move away from him - time in his tree melds with time doing yoga on the grass, feeling it tickle his head during handstands, his hair a pool of blue against the green, the feather on his necklace nearly sliding off his head. He twists and bends and pulls his body into any shape it wants, reminding himself that there are ways to move your body that don’t require someone else to tell you what to do.

It’s been almost two years, he thinks, but that’s what they tell him in therapy, it takes years and years to stop hearing the training, feeling its gentle urging to fit himself back into the narrow mold of Sir’s perfect statue boy in the bed.

He won’t be that, anymore. Ever again. 

He wears himself out with the moving, with a body in constant motion, until he’s coated in a thin film of sweat and his shirt sticks to his back and sweat trickles in drips down the back of his neck, catching in the blue hair and sticking it against skin, too.

This is the way to sweat, he thinks. Not the other way. This is the way he wants to move, and it’s his body to move however he wants to, forever and ever, from here on out.

By the time he’s showered and changed into a black T-shirt and ripped-up black jeans kind of like the ones Kauri wears sometimes when he comes by to visit, Chris feels calmer, and he keeps his eyes off the envelope as he drinks more water and goes to lie down on the couch and wait for four o’clock.

Four o’clock takes so so long to get here, but when he hears Jake’s car in the driveway, Chris pops up and all his nervous is back in full force. He’s pulling the feather on the cord back and forth, back and forth, back and forth as he meets Jake and Antoni at the door.

“It’s 4:13,” Chris says instead of hello. “You came home late.”

Jake laughs, unbothered, and pulls Chris into a tight hug. “Yeah, well. Blame an accident on Belladonna. Some fender bender took up both lanes and they had us going past on the shoulder.”

“It was very annoying,” Antoni said, moving into the kitchen, humming to himself at first, then coming to a stop.

Chris’s heart beats out of time, as he watches Antoni slowly pick the envelope up to look at it.

“Chrisha, what is this?” Antoni asks, confused. “Colinas Blancas University...” His voice trails off, and then he turns around, and Jake’s arms tighten around Chris as the two men realize at the same moment “But this is early! It is not supposed to come yet!”

“Do, do, do do do you think that’s, um, that’s bad?” Chris asks, voice small, uncertain. He taps on Jake’s side, a reminder, and Jake gives him a quick, breezy kiss to the hair before he pulls Chris into the kitchen with him. 

“Nah, it doesn’t mean anything but that they got the letters out earlier than they thought,” Jake says, but his voice is strained. He’s nervous, too, and his arm around Chris’s shoulders is holding him tightly. “Did you open it yet?”

“No,” Antoni answers for Chris, turning it back and forth. “He has not. It is... has lots of paper in it. Is that good or bad?”

Jake doesn’t answer right away, just licks his lips and holds out his hand for Antoni to hand it over. He looks at the university’s logo and return address in the top corner, and then takes a deep breath. “Here, Chris. It’s your letter. You open it.”

The envelope paper is smooth and very white, bleached-bright, except for the deep maroon of the school’s logo. His own name is written in thin black text on the front. Christopher Stanton.

He bounces on his toes with the nerves that need expressing and have nowhere to go, tearing at the corner of the envelope where the adhesive isn’t strong and then ripping the top of the envelope open, ragged-edge tears. Somewhere in his mind, he hears a woman’s voice, light with humor. Too excited to take your time, baby? Well, nobody gets birthday presents for the wrapping paper, I guess.

There’s a flicker of pain, but he ignores it, doesn’t let it crowd him in. Things he doesn’t remember anymore aren’t going to take this moment from him.

He drops the envelope carelessly to the floor and for once neither of the older men says anything, they just watch Chris, heart in his throat, slowly open the letter up, unfolding pure white paper from inside.

  “’Dear Christopher’,” Chris reads, his voice shaking, and he hears a sound from the side of him and thinks Jake is sniffing. “’D-Dear’... J-Jake-”

“Keep going,” Jake says, softly. Antoni leans in and Jake takes his hand with his free one, and the two of them look like the parents Chris might have had, once upon a time, but can’t remember.

“‘Dear Christopher,” He starts again, eyes skipping down to the next line. “‘It is... it is with great pleasure that I offer you admission to the Colinas Blancas University cl-class of two-... two-thousand and...’“ He takes in a breath, and looks up, vision blurring over with the tears. “I got in.”

A smile widens across Jake’s face, and Antoni’s eyes are glittering, too.

“I got in.” Chris jerks in breaths, his heart rabbit-fast, and he starts bouncing on his toes, the excitement curling up from his feet and making its way into his pelvis and his stomach and his heart and his brain. “I got in, in, in in I got in, I got in it’s a yes I’m going to college!”

He pulls away from Jake, clutching onto the paper, scanning the rest of the letter but he doesn’t care, all that matters is the first sentence, the first words, the CONGRATULATIONS that blinks black from the bottom at him before the signature from the Director of Admissions.

Chris drops the letter, he can’t hold it anymore, and his hands start to move with the happy that he can’t keep in, he spins in a circle and taps on the wall and on himself, bouncing up and down on his toes, swinging his body forward and back because he has to get the happiness out and his body wants to move.

“I got in I got in I got in I got in I got in-”

Jake is breathing hard, like he just ran a race, wiping a hand over his face and turning to Antoni, sniffing back his own tears and Chris thinks that Jake is proud, he’s proud of him, he’s happy too, he and Antoni are so happy, too.

“He got in,” Jake says out loud to Antoni, who only grins back at him a rare wide smile that flashes slightly crooked teeth. “Fuck, he-... Christ, Antoni, he’s in!”

“Yes, I noticed, I heard you both,” Antoni teases, picking the letter up to scan it over himself, as if his face isn’t reddened, too, as if they aren’t all three of them nearly dancing with happiness at a thing that Chris had been so scared to even dream about.

“‘We are thrilled to welcome you to the Colinas Blancas community...’“ Antoni reads, but Chris barely hears him, spinning in a circle again, his leg bouncing even when he tries to stand still, finger-twist-tap-tap-tap against his own sides, the wall, Jake’s arm, anything within reach before his hands start shaking again.

Too much, too much happiness, he has to move to get it out, has to move.

“Congratulations, man,” Jake says, his voice thick in his throat. “I’m so fucking proud of you, you worked so hard for this.”

Chris looks up at him, blinking rapidly to try and wash the blur of tears, to focus Jake’s face, and when he blinks they find their way out and run down his face. Jake hugs him, strong arms tight around him, and he hugs back, but he can’t stop tapping even so, has to tap Jake’s skin, because he’s so happy and he tried so hard and it was terrifying and he got in.

“I’m going to, to, to to college, Jake,” Chris whispers, and feels Jake’s arms tighten around him. “I’m going to college. Like everybody else.”

Like a person.

“I knew they’d let you in,” Jake whispers against his ear. “Who could ever meet you and not want you around forever?”

Chris rests himself against Jake, like he has since he was brought thinner and terrified and wrapped in a blanket years ago, but he taps and he taps and the world is bright and the birds are singing outside the window and he’s worked so so so hard for the life they’re going to let him live.

“I got in.”

“Good.” Antoni pulls a bottle out of the freezer with a crooked half-smile, wiping at his eyes. “I think this deserves a toast.”

“He’s twenty,” Jake says, warningly. “We think.”

“And he got into college, Jascha,” Antoni replies with breezy good cheer. “Let the boy have a toast for celebration.”

Jake raises an eyebrow.

Antoni smiles serenely back.

Jake finally sighs and lets Chris go. “Fine. But just one.”

“Of course,” Antoni says, and winks at Chris. “Just one.”

Chris sits in the chair with his legs crossed in front of him, watching Antoni pour clear liquid into a glass, and he’s never felt any happiness like this before. 

“You did it,” Jake says, sitting heavily down himself. “God. Fuck. You did it. I love you, man, I’m so proud of you.”

I love you.

Chris melts into three small words.

I love you.

“I love you, too,” He whispers, as Antoni pushes the glass at him across the table. “Both of you. Forever.”

Antoni pours two more glasses with a small bit of his best vodka, and then pushes one at Jake and holds one himself. “To our Chrisha,” He says, softly. “And going to college.”

“To Chris,” Jake says, firmly, lifting his glass in the air.

Chris echoes the motion, his heart is beating so fast and it’s such a good day and the world is wonderful to him.

“To, to, to college,” Chris says, and the three of them move their glasses towards each other.

Clink.

A cardinal calls outside the window.

[elsanna-shenanigans]

December Contest Submission #8: Scintillating

words: ca. 4500 setting: mAU lemon: yes cw: alcohol consumption, nipple play, some swearing, not vegan-friendly decor

Condensation coiled past her lips, fogging her vision and drawing her eyes up to the spattering of stars above them. For a moment, Elsa forgot all about the reason that had brought them here in the first place, stopping in her tracks to gaze up in wonderment. A smile drew itself slowly across her lips as she fell into the beauty of the cold, distant lights cast down on the frozen, snow-shrouded wilderness around them. She tilted her head and the whitish grey faux-fur trim of her midnight blue winter jacket brushed softly against her cheek as she tried recognizing the constellations above her.

“Anna.” 

Her voice was barely above a whisper, yet it had been so quiet around them but for the shuffling of their boots through snow that Elsa knew her younger sister wouldn’t have had to strain to hear her name. She tore her gaze away from the firmament to find Anna had already cued into the night’s glory overhead, and her heart swelled at the awestruck delight on the freckled face she held so dear. Freckles she couldn’t help but note had the same chaotic harmony as the stars they admired. They were rivalled only by the twinkle of mirth in Anna’s eyes and Elsa’s breath hitched as her eyes ran over the soft, beautiful lines of her cheekbones, her jawline, her throat, her nose, her mouth… Elsa averted her eyes from the delicately pink lips, exhaling shakily. Virtue of habit.

“I hope we get enough clear skies while we’re here, I could be out every night.”

Anna’s eyes went wide with apprehension and it was all Elsa could do to bite back a smirk, thinking of how expressive her sister was. ‘Don’t you dare make me choose between stargazing and standing around in -32°C weather’

“Yeah well, I’m not sure I could be, if it’s as cold as it is now.”

Elsa chuckled, her words having simply confirmed what her eyes had already communicated.

“Aw c’mon,” she teased gently. “I’ll keep you warm.”

“At this rate you’re going to have to light me on fire if you don’t want me to freeze before we make it to the chalet. Besides, you’re going to like the master bedroom.”

She shook her head wordlessly at the hyperbole, considering that while granted, the snow was knee deep, they were only a couple of footfalls away from the front steps. The house loomed darkly, melding into the thicket of pine trees behind it, but for the fairy lights that caused the snow beneath them to scintillate with prismatic pastels, each individual snowflake detaching itself from the rest this way. It was the sort of small wonders that gave Elsa reason to look forward to winter each year. 

Readjusting her backpack, Elsa gave one last effort hoisting herself out of the snow to climb up the front porch and immediately began digging for the key that’d sunk to the bottom of her pocket. After a moment of struggling, feeling for it through her gloves, she pulled it out triumphantly and unlocked the front door. She bared her hands and dropped her backpack, blindly feeling for a light switch. When she finally did, her eyes fluttered in adjusting to the brightness. The interior was shockingly well-curated, the very definition of rustic chic between the wood, the stone, the plaid, the sheepskin, furs etc. A touch of charm and magic came by the way of understated yet elegant seasonal decorations. Mistletoe, cedar wreaths, holly, pine garlands accented by silver, red and blue ornaments. Logs and kindling were set up in the fireplace, ready to be set alight. 

It was nothing short of a miracle that they’d even been able to book this on such short notice. Honestly, she had no idea where and how Anna had managed to find this rental, but it was proving to blow up her expectations at every turn. Granted, when her sister had announced that they would need to drive roughly 7 and a half hours to get here, Elsa’s excitement had been mitigated, at best. Yet she also knew that its remoteness was likely what made the destination so affordable. And more importantly, now that they were here she understood there was a great deal of comfort in putting that much distance between them and their apartment in Ottawa, along with their roommates and friends. For the first time in years, it was just the two of them. 

The thought brought back into focus the main reason they’d even decided to get away for the winter holidays to spend them with each other.

They had a lot to talk about. 

Elsa glanced back, checking up on Anna who was pulling the toboggan they’d cleverly brought along to more easily transport all of their things from the car. She noted the unsteady grip and sought to deliver her from the icy wind.

“Why don’t you go get the fire started? I’ll get the rest of the stuff inside.” 

The younger woman didn’t need to be asked twice, dropping the toboggan’s cord and hurriedly shuffling through the snow, running up towards the warmth of the house. Elsa half expected her to immediately disappear inside, but that was something Anna had no intentions of doing without first stopping to throw her arms around her older sister. Caught off guard, Elsa did not immediately respond, but after a few moments had passed, she hesitantly brought her hands up to embrace her waist. 

“Thank you,” Anna whispered, her lips tickling against her ear.

Elsa shuddered, and it wasn’t from the cold. 

✧✧✧

It had taken some time for the chalet to warm up properly after Anna had gotten the fire going, but that had suited them just fine. Elsa had fixed them up some hot chocolate, with a healthy splash of Bailey’s and a hint of peppermint, crowned with marshmallows. She’d glanced down, gaze softened by tender affection as Anna had curled up against her on the couch, strands of red tickling Elsa’s collarbone as their beverages had heated them up from the inside out. The cold outside was soon forgotten as the flames had roared up, hot air cradling their faces in conjunction with the heavy blanket they’d drawn up over themselves. 

Elsa’s mind had soon grown restless however, the initial serenity engineered by the enchantment of their new setting dissipating as her thoughts had raced back to the conversation they’d kept on hold for exactly eighteen days (she’d kept count). Shackled by habit she’d wanted to slide her hand down to rest on Anna’s waist, fingertips seeking the hem of her sweater, but she’d taken forever before actually deciding to make a move. 

At the time she’d found it easier to simply talk about the future than the present, telling Anna that they would need to set a reminder for the following day to try and witness the Great Conjunction between Saturn and Jupiter, which would this year occur on the Winter Solstice. She’d blushed sheepishly when Anna had pointed out that lack of light pollution was yet another reason she’d wanted to venture so far from what most people would commonly regard as civilization, knowing and understanding how beautifully rare it was to be alive for such a celestial event. 

The as of yet unspoken words had continued to tighten her throat, preventing her from bringing up the subject she was so anxious to broach, but was terrifyingly paralyzed by. It hadn’t been until their drinks were close to done (without counting the occasional topping off with more coffee liqueur) that Elsa’s tongue finally decided to cooperate with her brain. Eighteen days had been far too long to chew on their last exchange about the matter at hand, overthinking, overanalyzing, second guessing everything that had been said. 

By now, she felt pretty warm and she allowed the blanket to slide off her a little more, unzipping her hoodie, skin gently glowing with the flickering, crackling of the fire. 

“Anna, I…”

She felt her sister shift slightly, likely looking up at her. Elsa wetted her lips nervously, knowing she had her  full attention.

“We…”

The struggle was real, but she was glad there wasn’t any interjection coming. She made a mental note to thank Anna for her patience later. 

“Firstly I’m sorry I cut you off so abruptly when we talked about… this, a few weeks ago.” 

Perhaps it was a calculated nonchalance on her part but on the other hand she figured it would just sound strange to actually say ‘eighteen days ago’ out loud. 

“And I hope,” she continued. “That you understand what I meant when I said that we needed to talk this out some more, I wouldn’t want you to think I didn’t feel the same way.” 

There was a slight loss of body heat as Anna sat up a little straighter. It was brief, however, as she felt a hand gently grasp the side of her face, tilting her head down towards her sister.

“Elsa. It’s okay.”

“No it’s not, you deserve clarity, I-“

“Elsa.” 

Her lips fell heavy and she stopped talking, looking down at the dark intensity in Anna’s gaze. 

“You think too much. And gods, I’m Twenty-five, not Fifteen. I know I’ll always be your ‘baby sis’ - oh yeah, I’ve seen your caller ID listing - but I’m not a naive, innocent little girl anymore. I understand.” 

Elsa dared to lean slightly into the touch on her face, her gaze softening. She felt a thumb brush gently against the edge of her cheekbone and managed a smile.

“What do you understand?” 

“I understand that you’re scared. Hell, I am fucking terrified. I understand that I want you in ways I shouldn’t, love you in ways beyond my mandate as your little sister. I understood with every kiss, every lingering touch we shared that night that you felt the same way. I also understand why you pulled away after I kissed your neck, because I know you, Elsa. I know you don’t trust yourself, I know you have so carefully crafted an armour and delicately cultivated a self-possessed facade to protect yourself from the world. And I also understand what it would mean for us, for our lives if one of our roommates or friends were to discover the truth.  And I know it must have felt like torture for you to be so hyper vigilant about the way you spoke to me, the way you looked at me, the way you touched me and the restraint you exerted. I could feel the fucking fire coming off of you. So I understand why you said what you said - you were buying time, and I understand why you acted the way you did - you were protecting us both.”

Her eyebrows had risen and she stared at Anna, completely bewildered at what she was hearing. Though she was ordinarily loquacious, her sister was seldom ever so brutally to the point. More than that, she realized this meant Anna somehow knew about the feelings Elsa had harboured for her for quite some time. She wondered how long, worried that if Anna had noticed, others might have seen the crack in her tower of ice. 

“You knew?” 

That’s all she could manage and she felt ridiculous, knowing she was normally well-spoken and articulate, though one might have noted it was only when the situation pertained to matters impersonal, relative to herself. Her mouth felt dry and her gaze wandered briefly away from Anna’s eyes, to the crown of dampness forming at her temples from the heat that now enveloped them both, inside out. As much as Elsa appreciated the crisp, unforgiving sharpness of cold winter air, she knew Anna was likely very happy to be sweating indoors instead.

“I didn’t say anything because I knew being the big gay lesbian you are, you needed some time to process and a safe space to say your piece… but do you really think I begged you to drive 8 hours north into the sticks just so we could talk?” 

Elsa’s mind went into overdrive as she tried to comprehend what Anna was saying. It seemed as though her brain was yet again trying to overanalyze, overthink what she was being told. 

“What do you mean?”

She tensed up a little as she heard Anna’s exasperated sigh. Any doubts she had previously held however, were dissipated the moment she felt a thumb trace the curve of her lower lip, followed by a soft, delicate mouth pressing against hers in its wake.

Oh.

Her heart was now beating so hard she could feel it in her throat. The kiss electrified her body, lighting it up with a fire she’d never quite felt before and the sparks lingered on her lips. Even if her head had been clear and focused in the moment, she wouldn’t have been able to recall any previous incidence of the single act of kissing, sending heat and lightning in the pit of her lower belly. She’d had chemistry, good chemistry with other people even but nothing like this. There was no way the Bailey’s alone could be blamed for it and that thought both enthralled and terrified her. The hand she’d kept at Anna’s waist slid up the sweater, under her shirt, finding the velvety dew of her skin pleasant to her fingertips. How long had it been since she’d first realized she craved and longed to touch her sister in this way? How long had it been since fear had guided and controlled her every movement, shackling her most human needs and impulses to touch, to hug, to nuzzle the person she held dearest in this world? How long had it been since the guilt began to gnaw at her? How long had it been now since the constant mental self-flagellation, driven by self-loathing had overtaken her identity and so twisted and tainted her self-perception? How long had it been since she’d completely choked out any trace of spontaneity within her, for fear it might one day betray the repulsive, repugnant truth she’d come to believe represented her? How long had she allowed it to take over her life until it tainted every one of her interactions? Too long. Far too long. She didn’t know that the damage would ever be undone. But, here under the cast of the fire’s warm glow, for the first time in forever, her mind flirted with the idea of self-forgiveness.

For the first time in forever, she could allow herself to be free.

On some level it hadn’t fully sunk in yet, and even as she finally allowed this sort of contact, the habit of caution kept her gestures on a tight, controlled reign, not quite ready yet to forget herself. Fear and guilt were, after all, powerful enemies, bridling her every impulse even now as sharp sparks jolted through her nervous system, crackling from her lips combined to Anna’s.

It was a fortunate thing that Anna knew what she wanted though, and was determined to get it. Unbeknownst to Elsa, she too had been sitting on this obsessive craving for a fruit so forbidden she had to plan an entire holiday to finally get a taste. Elsa’s breath was shallow as she watched her lean back to tug her sweater off, discarding it to the floor hurriedly. Her nipples were visible under the fabric of her tank top and Elsa thought she might choke as she noticed them. Desire gnawed at the chains of self control. Sanity was packing its bags, ready to vacate the premises when she felt fingernails lightly scratching at her jaw line, flirting with the tender skin of her throat. Fear and guilt were beginning to lose their grip, inch by inch and by the time Anna was brushing up her thigh against Elsa’s side, they were out of sight and out of mind.

Finally, Elsa left the safe harbour of her mouth, lips kissing up the line of her jaw to her earlobe where she gently nipped, down the curve of her neck - all to the delight of Anna, who’s gentle mewling sent heated flames of need licking at the core of Elsa’s lower belly. Her timidity almost completely vanished, she pushed Anna back down on the couch, shifting so that she was now laying on top of her, and she lapped her tongue softly at the base of her throat. She felt Anna’s body arch beneath her and where the alcohol might have left them fairly tipsy, she was now tasting what it felt like to be drunk on power. 

Unfortunately, the couch was fairly narrow and their hips bumped uncomfortably. She even tried to set a foot down on the floor to steady herself as she captured Anna’s lips and ran a hand ravenously along her side, but she quickly realized that the position would only lead to cramping and disappointment. 

She looked around, one hand subconsciously pressing down on Anna’s sternum as if to ensure she would not go anywhere (as if Anna had any desire whatsoever to be anywhere else in the world at that precise moment). Her eyes lingered briefly on the fire and the lush reindeer skin rug by it, considering her options briefly. She smirked to herself but decided that they would have more opportunities and occasions for her to claim Anna by the fire.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just- what do you say we take this to the bedroom?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

✧✧✧

They’d had thrown as many more logs as they could possibly fit into the fire place, knowing the chances of either of them getting up in the night to keep it going were slim to inexistent. They’d paused only briefly once more to taste each other, touch each other in ways they’d, prior to that moment, barely dared think of, shamefully hidden in the darkest hours of the night. Hurriedly, they’d ran up the stairs, Anna having playfully lured Elsa into giving chase up to the master room, their clothes discarded erratically along the way, as they paused only to catch one another, fumbling with clasps and zippers, struggling with waistbands, insatiable in their kissing.

Inhibitions had retained a thin veil only long enough for her to notice the glorious, star-gazing window right in perfect view of the bed. Anna had been right about her liking the master bedroom. She did not linger on the thought however, her eyes drawn back to Anna’s features illuminated by the beams of moonlight flooding through the windows, an ethereal halo now wrapping around her features, lending her another worldly beauty. Overwhelmed and overthrown, it was like seeing her for the first time, again and she thought her heart might burst open with Anna pulling her down on top of her, the warmth of her skin immediately radiating towards Elsa. 

She found herself hungrily kissing Anna, gaining in confidence with each passing second as she nipped and suckled softly at her lower lip. She smiled against her as she heard the little squeal of surprise this produced. Nails scratched over the nape of her neck, digging into her shoulders, and her sister’s smooth, bare thigh locked around her hip pressing her down against her pelvic bone, which elicited a gasp from the both of them. Elsa slid her tongue just past Anna’s lips whom promptly suckled it in, causing her to moan, and her body subconsciously rocked against hers. 

Her hand slid down the side of Anna’s body, the tremor in her fingertips belying the nervous eagerness crackling hotly in every single one of her cells. The sensation of Anna’s warm, dewy skin against her own set her nerves alight with fire and she had to pull away from the kiss momentarily to check whether she were actually still breathing.

Another jolt of arousal shot down from her spine to her loins as Anna looked up at her, skin flushed and feverish, eyes come hither as she felt her hand coming up to tease one of her breasts. Elsa’s body tensed and her breath hitched, realizing just how strained her nipples had gotten, and how sensitive they were as a result. Her lips fell open as her younger sister teased it, sending sparks of pleasure radiating throughout her body, especially between her thighs. She shifted again slightly, her hip and upper thigh now pressing firmly against Anna’s radiating core. The heated dampness she felt against her skin was enough to cause a rush of wetness between Elsa’s own legs and she reached down again, her mouth seeking Anna’s neck. She kissed her at first gently, then intermingled with nips until she couldn’t resist the temptation anymore, following the thrumming of her pulse against her lips, and began to suckle at the skin, growling as she left her mark. It was something a little possessive, a little territorial, and on a primal level Elsa liked the thought of having visibly claimed what she deemed to be hers and if the way Anna mewled and gasped were any indication it seem she enjoyed it too. Given the nature of their relationship, they had to take full advantage now then, before any trace of it lingered and remained visible upon returning to their lives back in Ottawa. 

Anna arched her body beneath her, causing friction in between their legs, as she began to subconsciously rock up against her. The hand she had been using to tease her nipple cupped the breast more fully, squeezing and massaging ever so gently. Elsa let out a little growl in response to this, and left a trail of love bites on her way down to a pert, rosy breast. She ghosted feathery kisses around the taut nipple, enjoying the feel of the divinely soft skin against her lips, spurred on by the sweet little mewls her younger sister echoed in answer. 

By now, Elsa was humping softly against Anna’s thigh, feeling a blush creep up her neck at the realization of her own arousal. It was further compounded by the feeling of Anna’s wetness against her own thigh, as well as the nails now scratching up her shoulders, leaving scarlet trails on the nape of her neck. She hissed in a mixture of pain and pleasure flexing her thigh and rolling her hips a little more firmly. It was enough to coax her into giving a flick of her tongue over Anna’s nipple who inhaled sharply, and tangled her dainty fingers into the base of Elsa’s messy, platinum braid. Encouraged by this, she glanced up past the trail of darkly, well defined love bites she’d left, to find Anna’s head tossed invitingly to the side, eyes tightly shut in pleasure. It was enough to convince her to capture the aching nipple between her lips giving it an experimental suck. 

Again, she shuddered and rolled her hips as she felt Anna arch her back up against her, and grip in her hair tightening further, which in turn provided a swell of confidence for her. Her lower belly clenched and she suckled a little harder, moaning as she felt the hard peak against the flat of her tongue. Hunger raged and she pressed more fully into any in every way she possibly could. Fire coursed through her when Anna briefly glanced back at her, eyes feverish and glassy, dark with desire, panting with her lips parted as she whispered her name. 

“Elsa…” 

Fuck - how was she so gloriously, ravishingly beautiful? How was this woman here with her, like this, offering the toned, perfect lines and curves of her body and the exquisitely harmonious features of her face? Elsa feasted her eyes, her senses, her fingertips, her skin, her touch. Her ears, her taste and even right down to her scent, as if she were afraid any moment now, this might all slip away. As if, she were afraid Anna would realize her mistake, realize that Elsa weren’t deserving of her. And in turn, it pushed her to be a more attentive, devoted partner in the discovery and exploration of her body, with the sole, fixed goal of bringing Anna to heights yet undiscovered. 

Her hand reached down to caress the curve of Anna’s ass, squeezing and massaging it for a moment before lightly scratching up her hip, her waist, the side of her rib cage, then trailing along her arm, seeking out her hand. She laced her fingers into her sister’s gently, yet firmly pinning back down against the mattress, as her mouth switched from suckling, to worrying the nipple between her teeth. Anna’s breathing turned ragged as the hand still entangled in Elsa’s hair gripped tighter, nails digging into her scalp, and her heated, dripping pussy now humped up desperately against Elsa’s tensed, flexed thigh. 

“More,” Anna whimpered desperately, which promptly caused Elsa’s free hand to find her other breast, fingers rolling the nipple between them. She felt her buck, which gave a pleasantly firm rub against her own, swollen, eager sex and her thigh twitched involuntarily, and squeezed Anna’s hand even as she kept it pinned against the bed.

They were close, she could feel it as much in Anna’s body as in her own. The buildup was coming to a head, and she gave one last heated lick before kissing and nipping her way back up the trail of love bites, up her throat, to the curve of her neck, to her earlobe which she kissed almost reverently, before nipping as she whispered in a husky, breathless voice. “I love you Anna.” 

This seemed to do it for Anna, whom she could feel now desperately humping her leg, likely guided by reflex and instinct more than intent. She moaned loudly and turned her head seeking Elsa’s mouth blindly, wanting to feel all of her, give herself to her entirely, as her orgasm set her whole body alight, like fire raging through her blood, heat blooming from her belly and pooling wetly against her older sister’s skin. 

With their breasts now pressed together, nipples brushing against nipples, digging into skin, and the intoxicating sensation of the power she’d just had over Anna, Elsa finally lost the battle with her self-restraint, her inhibitions discarded with no regard for dignity. She squeezed Anna’s thigh between her own, her belly painfully taut as she built up to her own perfect storm. It was her turn to moan in pleasure as Anna whimpered and mewled through her after shocks, looking up at her in earnest adoration.

“I love you too, Elsa so much.”

Light and heat blinded her for a moment as her body went still, her climax thrashing through her with an intensity she never guessed possible. Her heart raced and her pulse deafened her before she finally dropped her face into the nook of Anna’s neck, kissing it tenderly through ragged breaths. 

The hand previously at Anna’s breast reached up to stroke her ember-coloured hair tenderly, smiling as she heard her giggle. As she recovered slowly, body still lightly trembling, she finally lifted her head up to share tender, lingering kisses, basking in their afterglow. She could’ve sworn she heard her younger sister purring but perhaps the stars in her head hadn’t cleared yet. Anna’s lips briefly left hers to kiss the corner of her mouth, up to her ear, whispering:

“I can’t wait for you to taste me.”

A surge of heat, and suddenly Elsa knew there was beauty in warmth too.

[loopy777]

Nickelodeon gives you the task of writing a series based on Korra's earthbending successor with no limits on what you can do. How would you write his story?

Interesting that you say “his.” There’s no rule that the Avatars have to alternate gender, but at this point the fandom assumes it so much that I’d just go with it to avoid controversy.

Anyway, I’d probably turn Nickelodeon down if they wanted me to write Korra’s successor. I have no interest in the future that seems to be getting established in LoK. I want the franchise to stay in the past forever; there’s more than enough room, and I’d even be open to throwing away the concept of “canon” to tell stories that might merely be in-universe legends.

But, I’m going to try to answer the question in good faith. If I was a professional television writer/producer, and my career depended on saying yes to this and trying to do a good job, here’s what I’d do:

Working Title: The Last Avatar

Our star is a poor Earthlands boy. The Earth Kingdom collapsed years ago, Balkanizing into a bunching of struggling nations divided up haphazardly among various tribes, local cultures, and convenient geographical groupings. Our Boy is an Earthbender, but he hasn’t pursued any official training because it’s largely a waste of time and money. Instead, he’s been working his way through an education, learning about robotics and spirit-energy, because demand is high for that knowledge. He repairs old robots for spare money, and even has his own glitchy assistant -- who can transform into a van -- who he likes to trash-talk to show his love. He’s a huge nerd.

Actually, the only reason he can defend himself with Earthbending at all is because of a classmate and friend who’s passed on her own lessons. This girl is one of seventeen young adults who currently use the Beifong name. She’s a Metalbender using her ability to innovate with circuitry, very interested in technology and business, but she also values some of the old ways and thinks Bending is an important part of Earth culture that should not be ignored.

Our Boy knows he’s not the Avatar because the Avatar is a super-famous influencer, activist, pop-singer, and advertising icon. She lives in the Fire Nation and has green hair. You should picture Hatsune Miku for her. There are bigger celebrities, and none of her movies have been huge hits, but the Avatar still has enough culture significance that she was born famous and has managed to stay in the news.

By the way, Fire Nation culture is dominant. All the best stuff comes from the Fire Nation. Their movies, television, music, and video games are popular all over the world. Their technology is better. Their quality is life is better. They have the best doctors, the fastest internet, bigger apartments, the most prestigious schools, and the best jobs. Immigration is limited by law, in order to maintain their high quality of life.

The United Republic and the Water Tribes have seized some former Earth Kingdom territory, so their influence has expanded. The United Republic invested heavily in technology, and they’re now a dystopian cyberpunk nightmare with a government that just does whatever its corporations say. The president of the United Republic is a position that rich men use to become richer. The Water Tribes are a lot better, having managed to transition to a constitutional monarchy and maintain something like a balance between life and technology.

Note that I didn’t say “spirituality and technology,” because the two are one. All technology is spirit-powered. Spirits can meld with the internet. Spirits can inhabit robot bodies. Spirits and humans meet in abstract Virtual Realities where the difference between the two disappears.

And all of this orderly chaos is set to collapse when Our Boy accidentally Firebends during a dangerous action moment. He and Beifong Girl realize he might be the Avatar. But Hatsune Miku has demonstrated command of all four elements. On separate occasions she’s been seen and filmed Earthbending, Firebending, Waterbending, and Airbending, sometimes two at once. So how can Our Boy also do that?

Beifong Girl urges him to contact the Air Nation and the descendants of Avatar Aang to find out. Except, when he does with her family’s help, Dual-Benders -- warriors using two different elements -- try to kill him. He’s been betrayed by the Air Nation- and possibly the Beifong clan. His friend helps him get away, but she isn’t sure she can trust her family. They both go on the run, not sure what to do.

The mystery of what’s going on will drive the whole series. Here’s our cast:

Our Boy: The true Earthbending Avatar, completely untrained. He’s a poor nerd thrown into the deep end of a global conspiracy, but fortunately he has a robot who transforms into a van, so at least he has transporation.

Beifong Friend: Our Boy’s best friend. Not a love interest. She’s the youngest Beifong cousin, an Earthlands patriot who wants to raise the former Earth Kingdom out of its divided state using technology. She’s also far too gentle for her family of power-hungry vipers, but she’s still a great Earthbender and will become a Metalbender warrior before the end.

Fake Avatar Hatsune Miku: An artificial biological/spiritual construct of the Red Lotus, able to Bend two elements at any one time by swapping out a set of four spirits (all of whom are intelligent, devoted solely to her, and have different personalities), and the center of a conspiracy that she’s the Avatar. The Red Lotus built her and are using her to advance their plans. She joins the hunt for Our Boy, officially decrying him as a Disciple of a Vaatu cult trying to destroy humanity. However, she eventually begins to have thoughts of her own and resent how she’s used and abused as a tool rather than a person. She becomes our Deuteragonist, going rogue and having her own journey and arcs that intersect with Our Boy. Depending on fandom reaction, she might becomes Our Boy’s love interest, but might also become just another friend. She eventually frees her spirit friends, giving up all Bending powers.

Water Sage-Candidate: A young man who is training to be a Water Sage/Shaman. He’s a new-age hippie type who distrusts technology but likes people and spirits, wanting everyone to be nicer and more supportive to each other. He’s suspicious of what’s going on with this supposed Vatuu cult, despite his master (a Red Lotus infiltrator) telling him to trust in the true Avatar. When Our Boy and his friends come to Water Tribe territory, he joins up with them to help expose the truth.

Air Detective: An Airbender, a master detective and manhunter, who has been tasked with helping to track down Our Boy. It turns out she’s honest and completely ignorant of what’s really going on, so as she hunts Our Boy, she realizes the greater conspiracy at work- one that seems to have set its sights on the Air Nation back during the height of Avatar Korra’s influence. She’s older than the main cast and largely separate from them, but she does spend a lot of time with Fake Avatar Hatsune Miku and becomes something of a mentor to her. She struggles balancing Airbender ideals and her own cynicism about humanity, and is probably the best fighter in the story.

The Red Lotus: Our villains. They have infiltrated every level of every government in the world, and have figured how to replicate what Raava did with Wan- use a melding between spirits and humans to swap out Bending powers. They have managed to get up to a human/spirit combo being able to actively use two at a time, but they’re hot on replicating the full Avatar experience. The idea is that they eventually want to give everyone full Avatar powers, ruining the office of the Avatar and empowering everyone with the strength to topple governments and businesses. Any single person can knock over a building and kill thousands. And for those who are incompatible with the melding process and explode- well, those are necessary losses. Red Lotus foot soldiers will often have, as one of their two elements, Firebending.

Red Lotus Traitor: A NonBender history nerd from a Red Lotus family. The more he sees as he’s initiated into the family business, the more horrified he becomes, but he successfully manages to hide it- which is good, because recruits who balk tend to wind up dead in ‘accidents.’ When Our Boy comes to the Fire Nation, he and his friends encounter the Traitor, which brings them to the Red Lotus’s attention, but the Traitor finally breaks free and gets the group out, joining them.

Boss Red Lotus: The leader of the Red Lotus. A NonBender. She and her family -- siblings, a father or mother we can maybe tie to a character in LoK, and maybe a kid or spouse -- are running the whole show and have inherited the plan that the Red Lotus are executing. What separates Boss Red Lotus is her personal investment in Fake Avatar Hasune Miku. She thinks of herself as Miku’s mother, and has become more interested in creating a higher form of life than merely giving humanity Avatar powers. She grows more obsessed when Miku goes rogue and commissions a more advanced clone.

Fake Love Interest: A love interest for Our Boy who is a little bit weird and a little bit cool, very pretty in a vaguely gothy way, and fond of bugs. This is actually Koh in disguise as a human, and the romance doesn’t work out. It will be awesome, trust me.

The bulk of the series is Our Boy and his growing group of friends tooling around the world in their robot-van, chased by Fake Avatar Hatsune Miku and the Airbender Detective, slowly uncovering the Red Lotus conspiracy and eventually rising up to save the world with the help of everyone who isn’t evil. The setting is dark and inspired by science-fiction, and there’s a theme of rediscovering the past, but the past doesn’t always hold the solution. Sometimes, the past merely contains the mistakes that led to today’s problems. The redemption of the world usually comes from getting in touch with the culture of the past, and mixing that with the wondrous new technology available today.

The ending I’m envisioning is a kind of embracing of the Red Lotus’s plan, but a non-destructive form. Everyone gets all four elements, but no one is killed by it, and the power level is completely normal. The Avatar, though, is the sole person to be able to Energybend, and it’s this role -- being able to explore the limitless potential of humanity -- that makes the Avatar important going forward. The significant Red Lotus are all sucked into hell or the Fog of Lost Souls or something, except for those who die outright, with the rest being rehabilitated.

Romance will be downplayed, aside from the fakeout with Koh, but if any of the recurring characters show some chemistry, there’s room to develop it. The Fake Avatar Hatsune Miku should be designed to be the audience’s tortured, angsty, badass waifu.

The next level of development for these ideas should come from the Concept Artist team, especially focusing on the weapons used in this setting. This will be followed by a more detailed revision by me with major plot points, and then going to the writers’ room for development of the first season. Entire characters or concepts may disappear or be added during that time.

Merchandising should emphasize the Tron Lines on everyone’s clothing that glow when Bending. Also, the Robot Van can be expanded to a whole line of transforming robots toys, although the word “transform” should not appear in any official material. We see video games as a major licensing opportunity, with a possibility for “canon” stories set in the same time period, intersecting with the cartoon’s main plot. To this end, final character designs should perhaps be modeled on voice actors, so that face scans or motion capture can be employed for AAA video game appearances.

And that’s my pitch.

[19mrs-barnes17]

Skies Are Gray

Summary: “Hi! So, I always see these fics around about a bubbly reader and is pure and sweet and I love it!!!! Its fun to read that stuff but I always feel like I cant connect. Can I request Bucky x reader who has been through serious shit that had taken away the pure and happy shine in her eye. Maybe something where she had made a mistake and kept it a secret for so long it started to eat at her? Angst to fluffI'm not sure. All I know is that I love your writing and knew you could portray this perfectly”                -Anonymous

Part: 1/1 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: angst, implied smut, (I think that’s it...)

Word count: 1,221

A/N: Wow, okay... So this was such a sweet request and I absolutely loved writing it. I hope you like it! (Ps. tissues might be handy...)

~

Life used to be lighter, with a bit more hopefulness and joy but that was before you were slammed with reality. Not everything went the way you wanted it too and sometimes that was learned the hard way, and it was never a pretty lesson. Some things are out of your control and eventually you’d have to accept that but today you just couldn’t muster the strength. Today you just wanted to get through the motions and move on from the dark nipping at your heels. So you trained, you ran miles and punched the hell out of a punching bag, you sparred with Natasha and you picked up Archery with Clint. It was clear to all you needed a distraction day, things had been weighing far more heavily on you since your last mission. 

No one here had seen you prior to your personality shift, they had always known you to be sort of distant and reserved. It was why they had immediately wanted you and Bucky to meet, they thought the two of you would bring out the best in one another. And it worked. But not completely, a total change would require internal work that you simply were not ready for. That was a task for a later date. 

Bucky had been your solace in the past few years, your only source of clarity in moments of haziness. He had already helped in making you smile more and feel lighter than you usually do but even he couldn’t rid you of the guilt that clung to you. You had never told him the truth about what you were like before becoming an agent, before joining the avengers. It was a veil of shame you wore around constantly that no one ever noticed, only known to yourself.

“Woah, woah, woah. Easy there wild woman.” Bucky gripped the violently swinging bag and did his best to steady it before placing his hands on your shoulders and leading you away. “Something’s up with you.”

When you opened your mouth to protest he held up a hand, a gentle smile on his lips as he gazed softly into your eyes. Those steel blue eyes made you feel less troubled, almost like you were home and safe from whatever ails you. You could almost get lost in them.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I get it, we’ve all got things in our past we’d much rather forget. But I want you to know that I am here for you, always. If you ever need to talk or if you just want to be held, I will forever have my door open to you. All you have to do is ask.” Tears slid down your cheeks and you feverishly wiped them away in embarrassment, he always seemed to say something that triggered an emotion in you. “Hey, it’s okay. Let them fall, you don’t have to hide from me.”

He held onto your shaking body as you let all the stress and pain flush out, a sort of catharsis occurring within you. A part of you felt like you had to tell him now before you lost your nerve, and so you did. You started speaking and you couldn’t stop, it all just poured from your lips like you’d drunk truth serum. Everything was laid before him, the loss of your deepest love, the offer of revenge, your criminal record, all of it. At this point your eyes were glued to the wall, sitting on the bench in silence as you gave him time to absorb all you had revealed. It was a lot to put on someone in one moment, perhaps too much.

“I’m sorry, that was a lot. Too much for one conversation.” Your head hung low with your eyes squeezed shut, it was terrifying to you that you had just told him the truth that had taken you 13 months of required therapy to admit in a mere conversation. Your grip on the bench became deathly tight, a fluttering anxiety in your chest. His arms wrapping around you and pulling you closer snapped you from your panic, a soft gasp escaping your lips.

“It’s okay.” That was all he said for several minutes and those words alone made your heart feel lighter, your hands holding onto his forearm that rested over your chest. “I still love you, your past doesn’t change that. Your past is exactly that, the past. You’ve gone through so much and come out a better person. You did that. I’m no stranger to regretting mistakes and blaming yourself for the trauma. But, maybe that’s something we can both work on. Together.”

“I’d like that.” You rest your forehead against his and close your eyes, deep breaths in and out as you revel in the comfort of his touch. “What would I do without you?”

“Listen to sad music while beating the life out of inanimate objects and eating your feelings.” You quirked a brow, a quiet laugh slipping past your defenses. “You’d be just fine, but life would be so much less fun.”

“Oh you have no idea.” You kissed his lips gently, turning to hold him against you with your hands flat on his back. The taste of his lips and the feel of his skin were addicting, so much so that you lost track of time, at some point traveling to his room and melding into one. 

James Buchanan Barnes wasn’t your savior, he didn’t rescue you from anything and he didn’t magically solve your problems with his existence. He did something much better and far more realistic, he helped inspire you to save yourself. Supporting your decisions and not coddling you like a child or a wounded animal, he treated you like a person. You felt safe, not because he could protect you but, because he would just let you be. He never asked any change of you, never once telling you to get a hold of yourself and get your life together. No, Bucky knew better than that and he knew how hard it was to be kind to yourself. 

James Buchanan Barnes was no knight in shining armor, he was no crutch, and he was certainly not a caped crusader saving a damsel in distress. He was your confidant and your closest companion. He was the person you could turn to with no judgement, always all ears. He was your partner and equal, he was for you what you were for him. He was the love of your life and you never needed to look elsewhere. He wasn’t your world but the sharer of your heart, just as you shared his. 

As you looked into his eyes you knew that you had the strength for what lay ahead, because you had him to cheer you on when you fell to the ground. You had him to ensure you never gave up on yourself. While you could very well do this on your own, it was nice to have someone believe in you with their whole heart. Somehow it made it just a bit easier to find belief in yourself.

One day you would be able to say you were okay again and he would be right at your side, finding the strength to say it too.

~

Tags: @qtmeryr​ @broken-hearted-barnes​ @cantnkrusshedevil

[elliepassmore]

The Black Coast review

4/5 stars Recommended for people who like: high fantasy, multiple POVs, dragons, intricate plots I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review TW: some homophobia I really enjoyed the world of Black Coast and the clear world-building effort that had been put into it. Each of the different places and peoples/cultures were unique without being unrealistic. The religions and histories were well thought out, and even the language(s) had their own backgrounds. Some of the cultural practices seem strange, and indeed they do cause tension between the Tjakorshi and Naridans, and I found the manner of identification (referring to oneself as 'your son,' this warrior,' etc.) to be a bit unwieldy at first, I got used to it and barely noticed it the more the book went on. Each part of the book is prefaced by a short 'scholarly' passage describing some aspect of the world's languages, cultures, or creatures. While I'm sure these are meant to be helpful and give background/foreshadowing info, the only one I actually read all the way through was the very first one, which described the meanings of the six gender pronouns used by one of the book's languages. That one actually was helpful, since two of the POVs utilize that language and it's helpful for remembering how people are referring to one another. I really liked the two main plots in the book: one of the Tjakorshi settling in Blackcreek and the other of the Naridan royal family attempting to assassinate the Splinter family. I generally liked following the characters of each plot and learning about the people, places, and politics, however I think each plot would've been better served getting its own book. While there are obvious implications for how the Splinter assassination can impact the Tjakorshi-Naridan settlement, there are less clear implications for the reverse. Further, the two plots and sets of characters do not actually come together in this book and I think they could've been served better each having their own book, then coming together in a later one (as I assume will happen), especially since the POVs got somewhat unwieldy. In terms of the POVs, there's about four major ones, with another handful of minor ones bringing the total up to, I think, 7 POVs. Now, four main POVs isn't bad and I've read a number of books with this number of narrating characters. The problem arises when we begin adding the others into the mix and giving them a handful of chapters here and there, and then it gets very complicated keeping track of who's who and where. I can understand adding some additional POVs for moments that will have a later impact but for which none of the main characters are present, though I think I'd prefer if it was 3rd limited rather than 1st, but that was not the case here. We started out with our main four...then we add Rikkut, then Evram, then Zhaana, and while these characters have important roles to play I question whether those roles, perhaps with the exception of Rikkut, really required their own chapters. Evram and Zhanna probably could've been given one or two chapters to fill in some gaps, but I didn't need to know past the bare details of what Evram was up to or that Zhanna was bored in the palace (especially since it didn't tell us anything new about her character or relationships). So, due to the confusion I had for the first 30% of the book due to POVs, I had to knock down the score slightly. In terms of characters, there's a pretty hefty cast, but Brooks does a good job giving each their own personalities and feels, so it didn't really ever feel like I was reading a Daimon chapter when I was reading Tila or Saana, or like Jeya had the same voice as the others. The side characters were also distinguished well, though I'm really only going to hit on these main four characters since, again, the cast is pretty large. Tila is an interesting character to read. She's the first POV we're exposed to in the book and, at first, I really did not like her. However, as the book went on and she went on her own plot adventure I began to like her more. Tila is part of Plot B, which centers around the Naridan royalty (aka Tila and her brother, Natan) deciding to assassinate the Splinter family, who claimed to have more of a right to the throne and as a result needed to flee to another country. She's not really a good person but she's certainly good at what she does and has decent reasoning behind why she does what she does (not that I agree, but I can certainly see how she got to where she did). It's obvious she cares for her brother, whom I would've liked to see more of, and is loyal to her family and country. Something I thought Brooks did cleverly was to switch around the 'masked vigilante' character by having the princess be the one who was masked the the vigilante wall around bare faced. Tila definitely walks a tricky line and I'm curious to see how that will play out for her. Daimon is, I think, the next narrator and is less likeable. He's fine in his first chapter, but later on he does and says stuff that makes me feel apathetic toward him...but at the same time I didn't want him to die, so maybe I don't totally dislike him, but still. He certainly has a lot of weight on his shoulders trying to make the Tjakorshi-Naridan melding work, which is Plot A, but I also feel like if he maybe didn't still have the mindset that they were no-nothing savages that it might go a bit better, especially at first. I understand that he can't change everyone's minds, but I do think Daimon has a responsibility to correct people when they say in front of him, and especially in front of any Tjakorshi, that the Tjakorshi are uncivilized or savages. Like, it's not that hard and would go a long way toward reinforcing the idea that that kind of behavior is unacceptable. I think one of my problems with him is that he's so stuffy for most of the book. Anyway, he definitely has his flaws but there are times when I do like him and enjoy reading his POV, especially when he's around his brother. Saana is the Tjakorshi chief who brought her people across the ocean to flee from The Golden. She's already done a lot of hard work by the time the book opens and hopes everything will work out but also isn't totally confident it will. I liked Saana better than Daimon and I think she might be one of my favorite characters in the book. She lets things roll off her fairly easy and is pretty determined to make things work. Saana also, admittedly, has some negative thoughts and words about how the Naridans live, but I also feel like she's more willing to give, perhaps because she knows they don't have any other option other than to play nice. One thing I really didn't like about her was the homophobia, which I have many thoughts about and will get into below. Overall I like most of Saana's character and empathize with the struggles she faces trying to get everyone to work together when the Naridans and Tjakorshi of the town end up at odds with one another again and again, but I'm not a fan of the homophobia aspect, even if she has vowed to change that. Jeya is the last main narrator and is my other favorite character in the book. She is a thief living in Adaba and happens to steal from (and is promptly caught) a very rich person whose identity is kept 'secret' for most of the book but whose identity is also, at the same time, totally obvious. Anyway, she has an interesting way of looking at the world and I enjoyed reading through her eyes. I almost feel like she's a younger character, but her mysterious friend is referenced as an adult by someone else and she has a younger friend herself, so I assume she's at least majority age, if not older. I could actually probably stand to read a whole book about Jeya's adventures, screw the other plotlines, and hope things turn out well for her considering the mess she's inadvertently walked into. And super quick, since it is relevant, Rikkut works for The Golden, a draug that is attempting to do...something...with the world. I'm not quite sure what. He's terrifying enough that he slaughters towns and sent Saana and her people running across the ocean, but he also claims he's trying to save people. Right. I'm not entirely sure what he's actually doing, but I doubt it's good. Rikkut is an unpleasant character. Definitely my least favorite narrator, and I kept hoping throughout the book that he'd die. But he does make a good character for seeing what the villains are up to. Now, back to the homophobia. Narida is LGB friendly (idk about T it doesn't really come up) and Tjakorsha is not. Several characters explain it as a need for survival (one that oh-so-coincidentally got caught up in their god), but that doesn't make it any better and there's a couple of scenes where that really comes to a head. I especially don't like how it comes up the first time: a gay man gets drunk and kisses another man without consent. Like, this couldn't've come up literally any other way?! Two guys taking care of their kid or the scene later in the book, perhaps? The trope of the predatory gay plays so heavily into homophobic narratives and into the history of LGB representation that it feels very icky here, particularly since it was the first encounter with an openly gay character in the book. So, while the homophobia is addressed (Daimon actually handles this fantastically and is willing to go to bat for LGB Naridans and Tjakorshi) and there's is a proposed attempt to start overcoming it, I did not like it and knocked the score down. Overall I enjoyed the book, though Plot A had somewhat of a deus ex machina ending, in my opinion. The Narida-Tjakorsha settlement is the heftier plot in this book and as such we get to know more characters from that plot than from Plot B. I liked Tavi, Zhanna, and Darel, who all come from Plot A, but really only liked Galem and Natan as side characters from Plot B.

[cxhnow]

Chloe x Halle Talk Police Brutality and Postponing Their Album

“The way our music has evolved is exactly how we're evolving as young women.”

Four days before the release of their sophomore album, Ungodly Hour, Chloe x Halle addressed their fans to let them know they’re postponing it. In a video posted across their social channels, sisters Chloe, 21, and Halle Bailey, 20, sat shoulder to shoulder at their home in Los Angeles, surrounded by hovering green trees, and tried to sum up their range of emotions after witnessing a global uprising against police brutality.“In honor of all of the lives lost in police brutality, we felt like it was right to postpone, and fully shine our attention and our work on them,” Chloe said, with both a shake and clarity in her voice, in the video to the duo's 2.7 million followers. Halle added, “Music has been used for a long time to bring us joy and healing in difficult times like this.” Just weeks before, George Perry Floyd, a Black man living in Minneapolis, died in police custody while a white officer’s knee was pressed on his neck. As video of his killing spread, and after the deaths of Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor, protests sparked around the world demanding accountability and allyship with the Black Lives Matter movement. On the day Chloe, Halle, and I spoke by phone, Tony McDade, a Black trans man in Tallahassee, Florida, was fatally shot by an officer. In Los Angeles, where the sisters live, protesters strung their bodies together to temporarily shut down the 101 freeway. In Atlanta, where they were born, six police officers were charged after being accused of using excessive force on two Black college students who were tased and pulled out of their cars days earlier.During a time when fans are more critical of how celebrities engage in civil rights activism, Grammy-nominated musicians and actors Chloe and Halle Bailey don’t tiptoe. They urge fans to sign petitions, donate, vote, and recognize Black life, early and often. They celebrate Black joy year-round. This is what their followers have grown to expect from them. Chloe and Halle have always had something to say, and it just so happens to be an important time to speak up.

It’s hard to wrap your head around the unbreakable confidence it takes to be a female pop artist if you aren’t one. Thankfully, Chloe and Halle have each other. For decades, the bond among members of Black singing girl groups has given audiences soulful and fun music. In the '90s, groups like SWV, En Vogue, and Zhané made upbeat R&B music that made you want to dance with your homegirls. Now, contemporary duos like KING, Van Jess, and Ibeyi stand out for their rapturous vocals enveloped in dramatic production. Chloe x Halle add to this legacy by singing, writing, and producing ethereal music that resonates with the girl next door.Yet there are distinct differences in the duo’s vocal style; they don’t try to match each other’s voices to create some sort of uniformity. Rather, they play off of rhythm and song pacing to meld their voices. When they do sing choruses and bridges together, their voices, albeit distinct, create layered, otherworldly melodies.The duo’s sound is often described as angelic, giving leeway for some to describe them as two women without sin. Chloe and Halle want to shatter this idea because it’s not realistic. “For Ungodly Hour we were so excited to just flip the narrative of being the perfect angel and show the other side[s] of us.…," says Halle. "The dark side, the naughty side, the things that happen that you don't see behind the scenes.” 

The majority of the 13 songs on the album are about navigating messy situations — sometimes ones that you have caused. In the midst of trying to be a better friend or romantic partner, you know that you’ll always be imperfect, and decide to love yourself anyway.“I've always been a jazz head," Halle says. “I don't know why, but there's something about the pain and the love and the heartbreak that you can truly feel through the essence of those songs that are sung by Billie Holiday, Nina Simone, Ella Fitzgerald.” As of late, Chloe’s “really, really been inspired by '90s music and early 2000s production,” a vibe you can hear and see in “Do It,” the second single off of Ungodly Hour.“We wanted to show our sensual side because we are growing as young women, but we still kept it classy and cute,” Chloe says. “It was just really fun for us to do that. We also wanted to start dancing this era, and just something really simple. And it makes us so happy to see everyone doing that dance on TikTok.”Chloe expands on how the name of the album and title track came about after working with the U.K. duo Disclosure: “We wrote this song [the title track “Ungodly Hour”] with Disclosure, and we had the best time,” she recalls. “I forgot what I was watching, but I heard the phrase ‘ungodly hour’ and wrote it in my notes. [It] kind of stuck out to all of us, and we were like, ‘What can you say with this?’ We all came up with this sentence: ‘Love me at the ungodly hour,’ which means love me when I'm at my worst; love me when I'm not all dolled up and made up. Love me when all my insecurities are out on the table.”’

“We started writing about when you're in a situationship with a guy and the chemistry is there, and you know the love is there and your connection is so deep, but he's not going all in," she continues. "For some reason he doesn't want to commit. He's entertaining other options, and it's just saying, ‘You know what? I love myself enough to walk away and put the brakes on this and to pause this. So when you decide you like yourself, when you decide you need someone, when you don't have to think about it — love me at the ungodly hour.’”Other emotionally complex tracks on the album include “Forgive Me,” a haunting song inspired by Chloe’s own life, after she discovered a guy she was involved with was going back and forth between her and another young woman. “I Wonder What She Thinks of Me” is a song that tells the story of the new love, the one a man gets with after he’s broken up with his ex.The vocalists are eager to make music that grows with them and becomes more layered as they do. “The way our music has evolved is exactly how we're evolving as young women,” Chloe says. The chromelike wings they turn around and show on their album cover, worn with black, latex dresses, are symbolic of their strength and power.When I ask what they hope for in the future, the Bailey sisters seem at ease. Chloe would love to work with BTS: “They're performing — it's top-notch. I'll sit at my computer and watch all of their music videos and all of their performances.”“Awards would be nice," she adds. "Being at the top of these Hot 100 lists would be beautiful and amazing, but as long as I'm growing and I'm a better version of myself tomorrow than I was today, I am content.”

The duo is used to releasing music during times of political duress. Two years ago, when Chloe x Halle were part of our music issue for the release of their debut album The Kids Are Alright, the world was grappling with an immigration travel ban enacted by President Donald Trump, the #MeToo movement, and pressing climate change legislation. That album was an intonation from the sisters to young activists approaching human rights issues head-on: “Do it while you young. Don't let them turn you numb. Don't let them get you strung. Ooh, let me put you on,” they sing on their first album's title song.“I was 15 through 17, and Chloe was 17 through 19 during the making of the album,” Halle says of their debut project. “We were still very young. We were still trying to figure out what we wanted, and I think that showed in the music.”As artists, the singers say their first album was about proving they could play an active, hands-on role in the production of their own music in an industry dominated by men. As two teenage women, it was about showing the world that, although they didn't have all the answers and weren’t sure what was lurking around every corner, they had the guts to find out. At that point in their careers they had been signed to Beyoncé’s Parkwood for five years and had released one other project, the Sugar Symphony EP, in 2016. But aside from opening tour performances and high-profile appearances, they hadn't become household names.

Now, amid a health pandemic and a country in unrest because of its history of white supremacy, Chloe and Halle are navigating being famous and also having a distinct voice. While finding ways to take care of themselves, the sisters are also promoting an album from their home, in the rooms where they first honed their craft as writers, instrumentalists, and producers. “We've kind of gotten back to our roots and started doing what originally got us started," Halle says, "which is doing YouTube covers, interacting on social media, and connecting with our beautiful fans through there.” A lot has changed in their personal lives as well. They're private about the details, but say they’re learning more about guys and finding themselves in relationships and situationships. They’re experiencing more love, heartbreak, and the misguided antics of boys. "We have to take our power back as women and not allow ourselves to be played,” Chloe riffs.In January, the third season of their Freeform show, grown-ish, dropped. In the college-centered comedy, led by Yara Shahidi, Chloe plays Jazz and Halle plays Sky, ambitious twin sisters who attend the fictional state school Cal U. Jazz is balancing being in love with her boyfriend Doug (played by Diggy Simmons) and schoolwork; Sky is focused on being a track star while navigating her interracial relationship. Like the sisters in real life, their characters are witty, impeccably stylish, and proud of their Blackness. But unlike Chloe and Halle, they’re far more overt about their love lives — often kissing in hallways and openly discussing their sex lives — and unfiltered opinions.Before stay-at-home orders went into place, Chloe and Halle had been expanding farther into Hollywood, and pursuing separate film projects.In July 2019, it was announced that Halle is set to play Ariel in the live-action The Little Mermaid. Many saw Halle’s breakout feature-film role as a huge win for inclusion, but, like clockwork, people on social media found an issue with the revamped iteration of Ariel being played by a Black woman. Halle spoke out on the discourse, telling Variety at the time, “I feel like I’m dreaming, and I’m just grateful. I don’t pay attention to the negativity. I just feel like this role is something bigger than me. It’s going to be beautiful.”

Halle remains grateful, but says of the negative criticism, “We've always learned to just keep our heads up no matter the situation. No matter what anybody has to say about you...just keep pushing.”

Like Halle, Chloe is also expanding her acting chops in feature projects. In December, Chloe wrapped filming for her role in the horror film The Georgetown Project, starring Russell Crowe and Ryan Simpkins. “I'm really protective of my energy, I'm very spiritual, and I love God,” she says about the thriller. “So I was constantly praying when I was on set. But surprisingly, the energy on set was so positive. And I learned so much by being around all of these Oscar-winning actors.”

Humility is a running trait between the sisters. They don’t hide their confidence, but are also God-fearing and incredibly gracious. They’re media-trained and polite, but also find a way to be frank. They say this album is a “whole different world” for them as they reveal more of their personalities, while exploring what it means to be grown women.

“We are learning to embrace who we truly are,” Chloe says about their music evolution. “Our insecurities, our sexuality, owning our power. I'm grateful that we are given a space where we can do that comfortably. And I'm grateful for our parents, because they instilled in us that we need to be strong and independent young women.”

[kitahara-rei]

Start of Something New

Based off the long, long headcanon I have of how Reiji and Ranmaru met and how they (kinda) got together.

This fic takes place during their Marriage/I'm Your Life photoshoot, a few years after QUARTET NIGHT was formed.

A mini collaboration project between my friend @pineappuu-pineappley​ and I, she drew bombass art for the fic!! Check it out below!!!! I sure hope I did the colouring some justice weeps- It took me a while to put it all together ;u;;; so much effort ajsdklasd

The link to the fic (with no art) on AO3 [here] or you can read it (and look at art!!) after the read more:

~~~~~

Beautiful. Everything that his eyes laid upon was a work of art. Marble pillars lined the long hallway, ascending up into an arch that melded together to form the high ceiling of the chapel. An array of golden flecks splattered across the ceiling shone like stars where the sunlight hit the painted dome, casting a shimmery glow in the air that seemed almost magical.

The sound of his footsteps reverberated around the empty hall with each step he took, reminding him how quiet it was without anyone else around. It had been bustling with so much activity earlier during their photoshoot with staff members at every corner, packing equipment and shouting instructions. All in all, it was a busy day and Reiji was glad to have some peace at last.

Golden hues from the setting sun painted the ground with the image of the stained glass in front of him, reminding him that night was soon to fall, and that he should be heading back soon with the others. But he didn't want to go back just yet. As he approached the altar, he reached out to touch the slab of cool marble, marveling at the inscriptions in a language he couldn't understand. He traced them with his finger, wondering what it all meant.

This chapel had been abandoned once, but their boss had it restored within a week to its current state of glory. The theme of marriage had been swimming around in his mind since the moment that it was proposed to them. Closing his eyes, he hummed the chorus of the song.

To stand here with his beloved, looking into their eyes as they exchanged vows, promising their everything to each other for eternity... Reiji couldn't picture that in his mind. There was too much baggage that he carried in his heart to let anyone else in, let alone think about marriage. A certain person's face floated up from the depths of his memory, and he wrenched his eyes open, falling back against the altar. He grabbed onto the cold surface to find his steady ground again, sucking in a shaky breath before letting the air out between gritted teeth. That could have been them once, but thanks to him, on this day ten years ago...

The sound of the waves crashing against the shore outside was faint, but it was piercingly loud in the silence. It was a bad idea, now that he thought about it, to wander off on his own. With nothing else to occupy his mind, the thoughts that he squashed down on a daily basis came crawling back out, gripping his very being, claiming him as their prisoner.

"Reiji?"

That one voice rang out clear in the chapel. He had heard it many times, be it on stage right next to him or in the dressing room, always in a low, gruff tone. Reiji turned his eyes onto the figure walking towards him, who had his hands stuffed in the pockets of his dress pants. He usually saw him in casual clothes (with the exception of their group costumes) but he had to admit, Ranmaru looked very good in a fitted white suit. The fabric hugged his figure well, accenting his broad shoulders and slim waistline, the pressed pants making his long legs seem longer. Their costume designer had done a great job this time round.

"I thought you went home, Ran-Ran," Reiji said, tucking his hair behind his ear. "You disappeared right after we ended."

Ranmaru stopped right in front of him, a couple steps down from where he was at the altar. Now that he had a closer look, his suit was wrinkled from sleep. "I took a nap here for a bit. Heard you walking 'round," he said, yawning. The look that he gave Reiji was tinged with sleepiness, which reminded him very much of a housecat. "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to take a look at it all again. Shiny-san found such a treasure sitting by the seaside, I'm surprised that the locals didn't know about it." Reiji looked back up at the painted baby angels on the ceiling, which had a very remarkable features reminiscent of his Very Strange Boss. He was pretty sure that wasn't originally there. "There's something about a chapel that just brings about certain feelings, doesn't it?"

The other man let out a low hum. Reiji wasn't sure what it was supposed to mean. Silence fell between them.

"Have you ever thought about it?" Reiji asked.

"'Bout what?"

"Marriage." He caught Ranmaru glancing to the side, frowning deeply. "I guess it's still too early for you." Reiji laughed, leaning back against the altar. "Any girl would be lucky enough to marry you, but they have to get past all these spikes first," he teased, reaching out to tussle Ranmaru's unruly hair. It felt softer than it looked, despite the innumerous amounts of hair wax he used to keep it styled.

He almost flinched when Ranmaru grabbed his wrist in a firm hold out of nowhere. It was as if the air around him went still the moment Ranmaru's unusual eyes met his, and Reiji could almost feel the intensity of his gaze burning. "I haven't," Ranmaru admitted at last.

Reiji let out the breath he was holding, though he noticed that Ranmaru still hadn't let go of his hand. "Ah, I-I see," he said. "Well, like I said, it's still too early for-"

"But I have someone in mind."

The words cut through his own cleanly like a sharp knife. Reiji swallowed as he saw, no, felt his hand taken gently in Ranmaru's own, his breath catching in his throat when Ranmaru brought it up for a gentle kiss. The back of his hand burned hotly where the imprint of Ranmaru's lips had imparted upon it. The words that he never thought Ranmaru would ever say left his lips.

"Reiji," he said, softer than he had ever heard the man before. "Your smile brings so much warmth into my life. I am yours, so will you be mine?"

It was like a scene out of a classic romance movie, with the setting sun casting a golden glow upon Ranmaru's handsome features, catching gold in his silvery strands. Ranmaru was watching him carefully, waiting for his reply. He wasn't the type to joke around, as Reiji knew, and he had suspected the younger man had a growing crush upon him ever since that night he drunkenly confessed to liking him.

Reiji could admit to sneaking a glance now and again, but he had known Ranmaru as a troublesome kid who knew nothing of the idol world. He hadn't thought about him romantically before. In a way, he suspected he might have, but had been too afraid to pursue those feelings any further.

"I..." He was at a loss for words. His pulse must be skyrocketing right now from how loud his heart was beating in his ears. Every sound was drowned out except for his heartbeat and his short breaths. It was all too much for him; the thought alone that Ranmaru, who had seen him at his lowest, still harboured such feelings for him was staggering. A certain face that flashed into his mind made he pull his hand back. No, he just couldn't. His heart was barely held together with cheap tape made from false cheerfulness and it couldn't take much more.

"I'm sorry."

The last thing he saw was Ranmaru's shock before he booked it, running out the door. He felt like his heart was overflowing with all the overwhelming thoughts, the feelings, the pain from the past. His legs were taking him further and further away on the sand, the wind whipping past his face and into his hair. He didn't know where he was going; anywhere was fine, as long as he could escape from all the mess that was in his head.

A hand grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks, and he almost fell backwards. He struggled to get his arm free, prying at the strong grip that refused to let go. His hand was caught by the other and he looked up to see the pained look on Ranmaru's face.

Oh no, he did it again. No matter what he did, someone was going to get hurt.

"Let me go." He was surprised to find his voice as steady as it was, even though his hands were trembling. His eyes found themselves glued to the sandy ground, unable to bring himself to look up at Ranmaru.

"Reiji, please-"

"Let me go!"

The world lurched and he found himself in Ranmaru's embrace. No matter how much more he struggled, Ranmaru's grip on him was tight, as if the man was afraid of letting him go and carry out another disappearing act. Honestly, Reiji would have done that, just to avoid the entire resulting mess that was to come, the awkward silence and distance between the two and the eventuality of them drifting apart.

But the thought of Ranmaru going back to his distant self pained him, as if their time together meant nothing: the many nights shared under the influence of many beers in Ranmaru's dinky little apartment, the tender way that Ranmaru would stroke his hair as he slept, the way one look could tell him what was on Ranmaru's mind, the little things about the man that no one else seemed to pick up...

Reiji realised that he didn't want to lose all that too. The tears were flowing before he knew it, and he found himself crying into the shoulder in front of him, digging his fingers into Ranmaru's clothes, not wanting to let this man go.

"I'm scared, Ran-Ran. I'm scared that I can't give you the happiness you deserve. I'm scared I can't return the same feelings as you do, I'm-"

"I don't need all that. I just want you."

Ranmaru's hand moved to caress his cheek, his thumb wiping away the tears from his eyes. Reiji didn't know when, but when he opened his eyes, Ranmaru was there, his brows knitted into a frown. He was breathing hard and so was Reiji; Ranmaru must have run out after him right after he bolted.

He didn't deserve the man in front of him who deserved so much better. He deserved someone he could pour all his love into and get back so much more, a less difficult person to love. Someone that wasn't him.

"Reiji, look at me." How could such piercing eyes hold such a warm and soft gaze for him? His touch was so gentle. "I love you just the way you are. You don't need to give me your answer right now. My heart will always belong to you."

He felt his heart clench. Reiji wanted to do it, but he was too scared to take that first step and bungle it all up like he did before with Aine. But, he wanted Ranmaru so badly. Maybe this time, it would end well. He couldn't help the tiny, tiny glimmer of hope flickering within that maybe, he wouldn't screw it up this time. Maybe, he could be happy with Ranmaru.

The wind was loud in his ears, drowning out the sounds of ocean waves crashing against the shore. His breath was caught in his throat at how striking Ranmaru looked at this moment.

He closed the distance between them first. Reiji kissed him softly, carefully, a little hesitant. It was the barest touch of their lips but it sent his heart racing, and he drew back, wondering if what he did had been a good idea. Ranmaru's lips stole the rest of his thoughts and his breath away as they came for his own, sending his mind into a tizzy. And suddenly, Reiji found himself wanting more. Hands found themselves pulling him in closer, fingers were tangled in the mess that his hair was, anything to keep him within his hold. Ranmaru kissed him once, twice and again, and Reiji could barely catch his breath before being engulfed once more.

And then he was panting hard, his thoughts scattered across the beach like sand. Ranmaru was still holding onto him tightly, so close that he swore could hear the thrumming of his heartbeat. Or was that his own? Reiji didn't know.

"I... still don't know if this is what love is, but I want to give it a try. I want you so much, Ran-Ran." And there it was, the smile that sent his heart fluttering at the beginning.

"I'll wait for you until you're ready," Ranmaru said, touching his forehead to Reiji's. "I'll always be here for you."

Ranmaru's love for him was so warm, it filled up his heart close to exploding. The tears fell before he could blink them back, but this time, he was smiling through them, feeling a weight off his shoulders. "Thank you," he said, "for everything."

[12loona-archived]

[INFO] Loona are nominated for four categories in Tonplein’s 2019 recap

Tonplein is a small criticism outlet that’s still getting off the ground. Their writers have nominated Loona for four categories in their 2019 recap: Album of the Year, Best K-pop Album, Best K-pop Song, and Rookie of the Year. Album of the Year Nominee & Best K-Pop Album Nominee: Loona - [X X] “[+ +], the first album released after Loona 1/3, Odd Eye Circle, and yyxy came together as a full group, left much to be desired compared to the music they showed us as sub-units. We looked forward to the three units’ sounds mixing harmoniously, but that effect was more faint than expected. But such thoughts turned into premature worries when [X X] came around. Starting with the intro ‘X X’, which sparks the high expectations that had halfway disappeared, ‘Butterfly’ paints the big picture of the album. While the atmosphere of the intro was maintained throughout, a deep bass, supporting pads, and the members’ tuned vocals (which create an unexpected harmony through ever higher notes) made for that combination of unit sounds that everyone had been looking for, as well as for something new. Further, the progression from ‘Butterfly’ to ‘Satellite’ and ‘Curiosity’, which could be called the album’s highlight, enhanced those expectations from before by making use of the unique and lively compositions from their earlier work and methods to employ the members’ voices in attractive ways. After an appropriate turning point in the middle of the album through ‘Colors’, ‘Where You At’, and ‘Stylish’, the tracks of [+ +] in reverse order combine with the earlier songs for an attractive synergy. [X X] is an expression of the most outstanding product created when Loona's trademark unique composition melds into music and concept.” The remaining nomination blurbs written by the reviewer, Yang So-ha, can be found under the cut, all translated by Litell_Johnn.

Best K-Pop Track Nominee: Loona - Butterfly “The thing to pay attention to in this track is in the lyrics that Loona seek to impart. ‘You just fly like a butterfly / Taking me far away, wings’; ‘The world gets smaller and smaller / Take me, way too far’. These sentences, tossed out without context, play their part when they meet with the music video. The author has surely had some shocking experiences while watching many K-pop music videos in the past, but the shock that ‘Butterfly’ presented was of an entirely different kind. The first shock of this music video was that during its 4 minutes and 35 seconds, Loona members and other, non-member individuals shared about the same amount of screen time. In this genre called K-pop, music videos typically exist to show off members and choreographies. But ‘Butterfly’ merely shows members dancing from time to time, and has no scenes at all intended to show off their individual charms. And for that other half of the music video, unknown women of diverse nationalities show up. And these women gesture in ways that defy interpretation. “The second shock blooms from that. While you’re focusing on those women’s gestures, the members’ choreography reappears, and before long even this starts to seem more like ‘gesture’ than ‘choreography’. While we could not analyze every scene, a cursory guess says that the members’ dance scenes do not last for more than three seconds at a time. As the video progresses like this, the viewer begins to receive the choreography they perform as something more like a movement in a single moment, or a gesture, than a planned dance. And as this connects back to the gestures of those earlier women, the meaning becomes clear. “To go back to the lyrics, there’s not a clearly identified ‘object’ to most of the lyrics in this track, including those two lines mentioned above. It’s just an unidentified ‘you’. Here, ‘you’ expands its boundaries without even being limited to people. The listener is ultimately unable to specify the object of the track, and as it changes shape every moment, it sometimes means ‘unification of lore’ for fans, and for non-fans it presents various emotions like ‘love’ or ‘friendship’. For the author, the word that came to mind first was ‘solidarity’. Loona’s message, coming to us in lyrics, turn into video as it draws out the gestures of women we do not know, and helps them all to become connected. As I thought more, as the lyrics and video became overlaid, this led to the conclusion that they are ultimately connected — that is, their solidarity was achieved. From the author’s point of view, Loona were reborn as pioneers who lead a group which could be women, or could be humanity, in solidarity. This had to be the most shocking, most astonishing moment in the author’s history of listening to K-pop. For all of this long-winded story, the author’s opinion can be summarized in one sentence. Loona, as they said they would, created an enormous hurricane through a small flap of the wings.” Rookie of the Year Nominee: Loona “Loona is a very standard idol group, and also a new kind of idol group. Here’s why I begin with such a contradictory statement. “Concepts such as lore or providing a character to each member have been attempted in many forms already since Exo’s debut in 2012, and organizing members into sub-units is also a familiar strategy. But the reason that they are new also stems from the same observation. Their concept is and more expansive and more detailed than anything that’s come before, and it’s continually renewed. And rather than the standard strategy of debuting as a full group and then proceeding into subunit activities, they took a unique path of announcing the three sub-units first and then combining into the full group. Announcing members under a concept of ‘we meet a new girl every month’ and releasing solo singles, and having other members feature in those singles as well, are ideas that are hard to find anywhere else. “The varied activity strategies that Loona has demonstrated are just now starting to be used by others, and the standard of production that has been raised by this group will become a requirement that other idols will need to live up to in the future. And thanks to their breaking of member reveal standards, more diverse attempts will be possible in the idol group market of the future. If the history of K-pop, now in a heyday like never before, is to be recorded in the future, the day that Loona debuted as a full group will go down as a monumental occasion that could never be ignored in any sense.”

[eagesoldartblog]

Pay it Forward Chapter four: Photobook

Arthur crosses his legs and starts to bounce his knees, eyes glued to Vivi’s expression as her own reflected deviousness, ”Alrighty~ Bye bye, Lew lew! I love you~!” 

She sings the last goodbye, and the second the call drops her phone is against the table again. Arthur followed the clunk of it for a moment too long, that is until he realizes that Vivi is staring at him. A wide eyes expression that held too many emotions, but all of them could be written clearly as why?

Sat in deep silence - filled with clattering dishes being served and chatty customers talking up the employees and Mystery yawning under the table with his nails scratching against the floor- they watch each other. 

Why? Arthur knows he can’t really decipher his own actions beyond mimic and pray, but Vivi has a very clear expression of disdain shadowing over her eyes and he could only guess what she’d say next.

Why wasn’t she-

Fierce vibrations shatter his attention (and nearly throwing him off his seat) the broken pieces melding together vaguely. Breaking away from Vivi, Arthur snatches his phone and holds it up, the world around him muting the smallest bit.

“What’s up, Lewis?” Arthur says, eyebrows furrowing anxiously as he stifles the coughs rising in his stomach. 

”Hello-!” Lewis’s voice peaks through the other end, and Arthur sees her face soften and relax the smallest bit. Leaning in, she scraps the chair across the floor and takes a light sip from her horribly weird drink- blueberry shot and espresso-? He clears his throat and nose and leans away from the cup, just in time for- ”Arthur, are you free tonight?”

Was he nervous? Arthurs anxieties slack the smallest bit at well, “Mm, I’m not sure. Your party’s tonight, I wouldn’t think you’d like to ditch that..” the swell in his chest grew and made the air seem too stuffy. Except that didn’t matter to him at that moment.

Until his mind reminded him. Don’t act too buddy-buddy, not yet.

Stupid thoughts, Arthur wanted to growl, filling his head so much and so loud that he almost missed the gasp.

”Oh! Oh.. I didn’t even- it didn’t occur to me that it was tonight.. Ah- my apologies, would you rather save that .. uh- speak later?”

Vivi, who was leaning almost over his lap, turns her head and her eyes are boring holes into his chin. A warning.

A warning Arthur didn’t care for, shoving her away by her cheek and mouthing empty threats under his breath, “I mean, I wouldn’t mind coming a little earlier! That’s dinner time, so I got the entire day off.” Because I wanted to see you. He kept that part to himself.

Lewis hums with delight, and Arthur faintly pictures they nervous grin he must have on his face right now, ”That makes sense, ... uh, would noon be a good time for you?”

Any time is good as last as it’s with you- “Yeah man, that’s more than perfect. I was just about to head out of this other diner now.” He says, jabbing Vivi in the side and hoping the snort of stunned and angry betrayal didn’t reach Lewis’s ears, 

”Oh! Say hello to- whoever you’re with or., not with- uh.. also, Arthur..” Oh no, His stomach tightens, preparing for a drop, ”I’m sorry if I upset you last night.”

Releasing the breath he didn’t notice he held, Arthur sighs and leans over the table, chin in hand and ignoring the friction against his elbow, “Lewis, you ain’t gotta be sorry- It’s okay! I get it. That sorta stuff just.... sorta happens sometimes. I won’t throw a fit-“ his head rambles faster than his mouth could filter, “You did everything right last night, and I-“ a frigidly cold hand presses against his arm. Shocking him to attention.

”Are you sure?” Heavy foot falls and a familiar creak is hardly heard with the faster steps and muted chatter around him, but Arthur could only imagine he was starting to pace, ”I know you were upset with it-“

Shrugging as if Lewis could see it, Arthur wets his lips, “Well, you didn’t want to. I would much rather get a No then... uh.. make shit happen and .. hurt you,” Hurt you worse, hurt you more. Shut up. Across from him, Vivi takes a sip of her drink and quirks her eyebrow, but he quickly waved it away, “It’s alright, Lewis. Uh- wanna talk about this later? I’ll be over in like- an hour.”

The other end is quiet, mind for Lewis’s short breaths, ”Yes.. I would like that. Thank you, Arthur.”

“Of course.. want me to let you go?”

”Yes, I’ll get to work on lunch, be safe! I’ll see you soon.” Lewis says it all in a rush, and then hangs up just as quick. Leaving Arthur to his thoughts and he promptly drops- (more like his entire hand, can’t damage his property!)  his phone onto the table dramatically. Vivi simply peers over her mug at him, rolling her eyes. Arthur stifles the urge to laugh at the notion of her having to deal with two dramatic men, both even more annoying when moody.. he should really get on that-

Vivi sips her coffee again, “Man, I can’t believe this happens twice in a row.”

Arthur quirks an eyebrow, “What’da mean?”

Vivi’s speaks overly sorrowful, “Being left behind by my guy friends,” a serious, almost scornful look covers her face, and she leans forward, ”So what’d ya talk about?”

The way her eyes bore into him, burning into his face only digs a pit into his gut. Arthur crosses his arms and leans back, carefully thinking over his next words. Contemplating how sharp her daggers were and how annoyed he was getting too, a puff of frustration bubbling from that pit. He sighs. Vivi doesn't so much as blink at response.

“We’re going out for lunch, or.. I think i'm heading back to the Pepper paradiso,” He’s mulling over his thoughts, fighting through the thick and gluey waves of roses and spices and sailor moon, and thick purple hai- Okay that's enough out of you. “He feels bad about last night, so… ya know.” 

Vivi leans closer, shoulders sharp and framing her face in an almost threatening way, “And?” 

“And?”

“And what happened?” Vivi asks, her gaze sharper than ever before, and Arthur wishes he had the right to roll his eyes. But knowing Vivi he would be… very very wrong. Hell! He knew he didn't have the right. But… Arthur sighs, glancing around him as waves of heat shimmer down his back, and part of him is drowning in immense amount of guilt- 

Get over yourself, Arthur breathes in the heavy aroma of mixing blends and pastries that were always too sweet, and out, worry, stress, time…. He leans back in the chair, tilting his head and steadying his breathing with each breath, and finally- 

“I tried.. I asked him if I could kiss him, and I was kinda drunk and- and I know that's not an excuse and its shit but I did and- … and then it really hit me that he still doesn't remember me..” 

Man, if Arthur thought she was sharpening daggers earlier, she was prepping a saw blade now- taking a deep, _deep_ inhale of breath and looking at him like he did the most ridiculous thing in the world. An expression Arthur usually had.

Kinda funny that he is now on the other end.

“Arthur,” she says, hushed and even, Arthur could already tell what it meant, “Are you stupid?” 

Shrugging again, he nods, “Yeah, a bit.. I thought he recognized me.. But.. Well, he didn’t.” He twists himself around, facing out into the rest of the restaurant, losing track of his thoughts, “I.. was hoping.”

Vivi’s glare intensifies to another level, her hand squeezes and almost itching to smack him across the head. His gaze flickers back and sees the fist, tightly balled on the table and scratching the surface. Wouldn’t be able to blame her if she had. He deserves for even thinking it was okay to tempt the other man's memories and- 

Sighing roughly- nearly groaning- Vivi slumps back and downs the rest of her coffee, grinding her toe into the table leg. Finally leering back up at him, “C’mon Arthur, you should have known it wouldn’t be a good idea- the hell is wrong with you?”

Arthur throws his hands up, bringing them back down just as fast upon a few spare looks being sent his watch, the warmth in his cheeks worsening with that realization until beads of sweat pinprick his hairline. Leaning forward he whispers, “Look, I know I messed up, I don’t know how I did but I-...” he swallows, gripping his own pant leg to soothe his rapidly beating heart, “I … forgot.”

”Forgot?” he flinched the smallest bit and he hopes Vivi didn’t catch it in her glare. But her expression then softens, and her frown becomes melancholy, “It’s… Arthur, it’s fine.. Even though he’s -“ her shoulders tense, “you know why he’s like this, I sure as hell can't blame you because of that-“

“Ah, yes you can. I fucked up, I did this, I forgot all the warnings and made an ass out of him and me because I went and assumed an-“

She holds up a finger, and Arthur's mouth falls shut, too tightly for that matter. Holding up her hand and taking a deep breath, Vivi lifts it and Arthur inhales with her, and then allowing it to flow out as her hand glides down. They keep doing it, until Arthur finally sighs heavily. Leaning heavily over the iron grating.

“Sorry- about that… I just- I … I thought it would turn out different, and now I’m-“ he pauses, his thoughts clouding his eyes way too much for him to fight against before his words connect, “I don’t have the right to try and remind him, of any of it.”

Vivi brushes her fingers through his hair, petting lightly, and his chest swells from the action. Warmth slowly spreading from the base of his neck to his back… why did hair petting always do that- “You’ll probably break him if you do. Hopefully not as much, but you’ll definitely hurt him.” 

And, there it goes. Arthur puffs out a sigh and drags his head up, leaning onto his palm and peering into his glass of barely lukewarm coffee. “You don’t inspire confidence,” Arthur grumbles, his frustration hardly lacing his words. And still, Vivis hand remains there, slipping down to his face. Increase physical contact when stressed, that was something she picked up from… he sighs bitterly and leans into the comforting touch.

Vivi shrugs, a small smirk quirking over his lips, “I’m not here to inspire confidence, just to inspire truth. And …. if I’m honest, it’ll probably be better to tell him now then later.” She admits, leaning back and twirling her hair, “Lewis is… he's pretty dramatic, as you may know, but while we were away, he … he kinda had this fling with this one guy-“ Arthur winces at that, and so does Vivi when she realizes it, “Sorry, that was kinda blunt, wasn’t it? Well… he and this guy get together, and I guess this guy like.. knew something about Lewis that Lewis didn’t catch at first? Like…” she mulls over it, and Arthur furrows his eyebrows at the thought, this guy didn’t pull any bullshit, did he..? “I think it was like- Lewis had homework and .. I don’t know, it was stupid, but Lewis was.., he was really mad that he wasn’t just ... informed of what the dude wanted.” Waving her hand, she blows a small raspberry, “Went on a tangent, sorry, anyway the thing is- he doesn’t remember you being in his life, and now you are and.. it’s sorta obvious that we know something he doesn't.”

Arthur nods slowly, swirling around his coffee with his finger, “So… yes tell him.”

Vivi frowns, “Yeah, it’s probably for the best… he didn’t recall anything while we were away and I worry about him.. but! I also worry that we’re being shitheads to him and forcing it on him-!”

Crossing his arms across his chest, Arthur bites his lip, lost in thought. “I mean.. I .. I could tell him when I see him but what should I say when he asks why he forgot?” the second he said that, Vivi's face shifts into something more hopeless, drumming her fingers against the table, Arthur keeps going, “I don’t have any real proof and- I really don’t want him to think I’m just tryna- ya know…” 

Nodding, Vivi hums, “Yeah, yes no I totally get that and.. I’m not really- wait!” She gasps, eyes lighting up and her legs kick out with excitement, swinging and slamming into Arthurs shin and Mystery- who had been lying quietly under the table the entire time. She gasps and retracts her legs, leaning down and petting his head in apology. Mystery leans into the touch but looks far from bothered. 

“Wow, Vivi,” Arthur murmurs, leaning down and getting a good look at the dog- more than happy that he wasn't hurt in the crash as well, and he resists the urge to pet him, “going around and kicking your dog, your service dog no less.” 

Vivi huffs and crosses her arms, “He's too quiet, I forget he’s here sometimes!” under their feet, Mystery is curling up again, gaze peering out over the crowd and watching. 

Arthur, does not relent, reaching over and poking her cheek, “need someone who is just as loud as you? Or would you kick them too?” She slaps his hand away in a flurry of swipes, face flushed and angry.

“I- that's not-!! Look, he's a good boy, he keeps me calm, hes always helped me, ever since I was a baby. And-! I’m not gonna help you anymore.” She says definitely, arms crossed and nose turned up in an obviously silly manner. Glaring down the bridge of her nose at him. “I was going to suggest I get the photo album we saved after the event, but now I think I should just leave you to the piranhas.” She says, graciously, cooly, like a queen. Her wavy hair shifting and almost looking like a popped collar and-

“Wait, what? You still have that-” Arthur’s eyes shine, nearly bulging out of his head as he processes the words, “I- you will?” 

Arms still crossed, she glares… and sighs, faltering and smiling at him, “Yes, I do have it… I just- uh- because of my thing I.. I don't know where it is, so I’ll have to find it and…” She trails off, heusturing to her head and poking it lightly, and Arthur blinks, listening to her slowly before he connects the dots. 

“... Oh, Oh!” He lunges forward, shoulders hunched as he stares at her in the face, “Vivi, listen to me, I don't want you to get hurt over this, okay? I can- I can find some pictures on my phone and show him that or- or not at all! Not right now-”

Vivi watches him, hands in her lap, before her eyebrows furrow and she says, “Arthur.”

“Yes?”

“Dude, it's fine,” she rolls her eyes a bit, “I've been getting pretty good with those spells, and Mystery tends to notice way before I do, so like- if something happens then I’ll be fine, I have Mystery, and Jiji is there too!” She exclaims, and the pouty old woman flashes in his mind's eye, allowing him to relax the smallest bit, but not enough. 

“Are.. you sure? I can probably come with and look for them- you know I don’t- I don’t fall-” Words and mind shriveling, he freezes and wonders if that was offense to even mention, but Vivi simply shrugs again.

“No biggie,” Vivi grins nonchalantly, shrugging and letting herself lean against the chair, “if something happens, I can just- go to bed!”

Arthur taps the table anxiously, getting faster and faster until Mystery’s nose pressed against his knee, and Arthur resolved to bounce his knee, “Are you sure?”

“Always am~” Arthur grins whole heartedly, pleased with herself, until she realizes something and leans forward again, eyebrow raised and she says in a soft voice, “Obviously I’m going to leave out the...bad ones, but, do you want me to leave in any pictures of you guys?” 

It hits him like a paddle, and Arthur considers it for a short moment, finally murmuring “.. Yeah, but try to … have them at the back..?”

A breeze flows past Arthur as he opens the door, stepping completely to the side with his stomach sucked in so that way Vivi could squeeze past him. Mystery sends him a thankful bark and hobbles in front of her. Sending him one quick wave, Vivi was off down the street. 

Please be okay, Arthur’s smile drops, an overly worried frown now taking its place as he slouches forward and dances over his feet for them to move. Carefully directing his thoughts in a more positive area, even though they all remained fixated on Vivi and Lewis, Lewis.

Hopefully he wouldn’t mind if Arthur came over just a tad bit early. Hopefully he sighs heavily and palms the back of his head, smoothing the strands of hair and eyeing the cracks in the sidewalk. The older ones not even gaining so much as a dimple in their battered-up state, while all of the crisp, clean white ones were gaining a brand new look of firecracker singes, gum, and the like...

C’mon Arthur, now isn’t the time to be comparing Lewis to a rock.

But it was weird, wasn’t it? Being worried about the traits Lewis now had. Anxiously calling Vivi over upsetting him- which Lewis didn’t, but the startling difference was still present. Lewis ... was never like that. Or maybe he was, but it’s not like Arthur had much to go off of. And back then Lewis always seemed to call him out on things he did and spark a conversation about- whatever

Arthur clenches his fist, sighing again from all of the air threatening to choke him. Lewis wasn’t so skittish. God, it’s like you two traded!

Based on just the past few days- Vivi would certainly give him a smack on the head for that period of reference, especially since they followed a crash whi- God shut up.

Glancing up, Arthur searches around the area quickly for anyone who bore witness to his thoughts running and colliding into each other. So much so he stopped in the middle of the side walk like some wack job. 

.... Arthur swallows, Well it’s not like you aren’t nervous anymore, if this is how you’ll behave, That hissing thought is immediately chased by intensely sparking impulse and his eyes darting. Fear gripping him by the spine, reminding him that he had to be aware. Aware of anyone and anything and getting trapped in his thoughts wouldn’t do him any good. A paralyzing shiver races through him in half a second, blinding him and making all of his limbs too tight. He couldn’t breathe-

Its fine, it’s okay, the locking muscles relax and release and inch my inch his bodies control returns to him, its just a shadow.

Barley out of the corner of his eye, he could see in dips of an alley way, and the darkened shadows that lurked and swirled within it. A trick of the eye, if wasn’t even moving. Arthurs logic unhelpfully  supplies, his body refusing to move and bow down to it- instead all too focused on how the shadows were too tall and more likely than not someone could be sitting there and watching like a hawk. Gleaming eyes that shot terror into his legs and feet and leave him unable to move.

His heart beat picked up. Spastically pumping and bloating his limbs with the liquid like anxiety and in any moment he can just pop-!

DRIIING- Arthurs phone exploded with noise and all at once he was regretting every possible decision he has ever made maybe ever. Smacking his hand against his back pocket- Panic still rippling through his entire body like a motorcycle- he slams it against his cheek, “Vivi?!”

A few moments of silence follow, filled with Arthurs own ragged breathing and the realization that he might’ve forgotten to take his meds that morning, a gruff voice finally fills his ears, “Try again.”

A gasp of relief leaves him in a hard shudder, his arms trembling slightly from how unbelievably grateful he was to hear the older man, “Shit, S-sorry, Lance..! Er- I was just talkin’ with Vi’ about her - her narcolepsy thing and- phew, fuckin’ anxiety and .. shit... amirite?” He tumbles not so eloquently over his words, laughing anxiously as he presses himself against a scratchy brick wall for support. The friction breaking him out of his frightened spur. Arthur risks a glance to the darkened place, eyes glueing to the spot, now slipping out of sight as his feet move and he does an awkward spin to get back on track. 

Lance doesn’t seem bothered by it, “Ya’ I understand tha’ much. You have fun last night?”

“W-wha?” Arthur’s legs lock up, filling his head with the question of What the hell did he mean by that?

“I’m assumin’ you did. Didn’t come home last night. Galahad was in stitches crying out of you all night.” Arthur then heard a small squeak and his dumbfoundment switches to the smallest bit of joy. Of course it was that, leave it to Lance to freak him out over nothing..

“Heheh, whoops! So sorry about that- I thought I fed Galaham before I left... thanks for watching over him for me. I just-..” his shoulders sag, swallowing, he kicks his legs into motion and begins to weave through his thoughts yet again, “I ... wanted to spend some more time with Lew.. is.” You aren’t on nickname terms anymore, remember?

“How is he?”

“He’s... he’s fine..” Just fine? C’mon say something stupid, “Just... gah... I’m not sure, things got.. uh... weird last night, so we’re gonna try again today. I may be spending the day with him so I can tell you when I get home tonight... if.. I do..” 

What was the point in saying that, Arthur, are you really that dumb, Jesus Christ. All he can picture is Lance’s face twisted in that usual disappointed look, his eyebrow raised in suspicion. 

“Planning on staying the night again?”

Arthur cringes, “I don’t know? I need to talk with him more about... stuff but- but he invited me out to lunch and... I’ll keep you updated.”

“Stuff.” Shit.

He gulps anxiously, “Yep. Stuff.” 

Lance groans, “Arthur, fuck are ya’ doing? Trying to jostle his head already?”

Arthur sags at that, the pit in his stomach worsening by the moment, no amount of jumbled thoughts could possibly explain away this, “I... I kinda.. scared him last night- by.. uh... I don’t know, I was drunk so I thought I could try and get close and shit and-“ his teeth grit together and he can hear the whine of his jaw, “I- look, I’m trying to be gentle and- and not hurt him and-“

“You aren’t painting a pretty picture, Art,” Arthur slumps down, staring forward but not looking as he trudges his feet again, Lance keeps going, “Ya gotta keep in mind that he’s still copin’ with a lotta shit- shit he can’t even realize he’s dealing with. The boy’s got a lot of extra sensitivity now and you have to be mindful of that.”

Extra sensitive, Arthur repeats, Yeah that’s a good way to describe it, how they all got out of it.. humming a bit to himself, he keeps walking, and with each step he imagines a million different ways it could have gone much better than how it did.

“Arthur-“

“Yeah, yeah... sorry.. I hear ya, Lance. I won’t be too much on him... I.. yeah.”

Maybe you should properly honor that sentiment, don’t bring up any part of it to him

Except Lewis deserves to know! He... Arthur sighs and nods despite the fact that no one is there. “I’ll do my best. Thanks, Lance,” 

“You’re welcome, Kid. Keep me posted on what’ll be happenin’ got it?”

Arthur bobs his head, meekly, “Of course, yeah, I can do that.”

... Would he be able to keep his promise? Arthur wasn’t sure and he gulps back more of his anxiety and shoves his balled fists into his pockets. Forcing his eyes to stay on the ground before him and avoiding everyone and anyone’s gaze. 

Not wanting to meet someone who wasn’t as nice as they let on... Not-... not after that.

Stop thinking about it, Arthur. It may be hard, but just think about how nice lunch will taste, and how fun dinner will be and... how... Lewis is going to ask you about last night and.....

Arthur whines. But keeps walking. Hopefully Lewis wouldn’t mind if he came over just a tad bit early.

Hopefully.

Paradiso's white outline soon came into view. The stained glass catching his eyes the second it did, and Arthur's heart warmed the smallest bit. One of the only vehicles in the mostly vacant lot was the bright orange Van that he parked across the lot- not wanting to confuse anyone coming by and making them think it was open. 

It's odd how they do it, but the Peppers never have the restaurant open on sunday. Whether it was due to religious reasons or simply... wanting a 'strike day' as Mr.pepper has claimed it was many times before, Arthur couldn't help but be glad to see that the usual amount of cars (three or five for each of the workers they had scheduled for the four hour work day) was now down to two, with the respective employees chatting with Mrs.Pepper beside the cars. 

Must have been cut a bit short today, which made sense. Surely the Pepper parents decided they wanted to spend the most time with their son as possible. Or.... Didn't want any of them in for the day.

Mrs.Pepper catches sight of him, and waves to him. Arthur returns it quickly, before the ants in his stomach convinces him to make a sharp turn and walk along to the edge of the parking lot to slowly shimmy his way down to the backdoor. Wanting no part in any conversation they may have been having.

Instead he wanted whatever conversation Lewis and him were about to have to be over as soon as possible, so they can relax and eat in peace. Even though... the thought of a talk about last night was... more than nerve wracking, and more unlikely if it devolved into... that. 

It'll be okay.. it'll be fine..

Arthur swallows, and skips over the concrete- breaking out into a light jog- and jumps up the steps. He opens the screen door and then lightly raps. Waiting... waiting... too much waiting, and his thoughts threaten to go haywire. Inhaling sharply through his nose, he forces himself to stand straight.

Within the depths of the house, Arthur can make out the faintest of tapping and a small shuffle from that window. A flow of comfort became noticeable through Arthur's sweet little smile, noticing a flash of dark red hair, knowing in that moment who exactly that was. Cayenne. And just like that, the door swings open and she's standing right there, small and cute, with her lower lip in a pout he recognizes all too well. A sense of suspicion, yet in such a childish manner, complete with her crossing her arms and all. "Why are you here?"

Arthur resists the urge to muse up her hair, or whatever the word. She was a snarky imp sometimes but really, he should keep his own impish behavior to himself. Tilting his head, Arthur allows his mind to become fully enraptured with the kindred air of family life, "Well, Lewis invited me over. Plus I wanted to try and prepare, clean up and...stuff!"

And she's quirking an eyebrow - the levels of suspicion rising at a higher peak, and Arthur could immediately tell she was trying to pry, it's what she does better than anyone. The concern is understandable, but there shouldn't be too much of an issue here, right? She knew he would be back later that night. "Then why'd you leave then!"

And so Arthur retaliates, almost. His thoughts scramble again and he’s straightening his posture as he tried to collect the right words to describe the situation. Why does things always have to get so difficult when he's trying to explain something?! "Wh- I had a date with Vivi!" 

Now she's...scowling, and confused. How much quirkier could her eyebrow be? "Uh, you're dating Vivi and Lewis?"

He blinks hard, head supplying plenty of images to help image that situation. Did she already connect those dots? He snaps out of it real quick, face warm as he tries to conclude the conversation before it goes any further. "Ohhh-kay, not like that but -- It's like -- it's like a play date!" Yeah! That'd be a great way to sum it up! No sugar-coating or looping-arounds, or anything like that. "Not romantic dating like in those movies but just...! Y'know, relaxed."

She still...didn't look too convinced. For a second her pointed stare under her bangs made his skin prickle with an anxious sweat, until she shrugged, stepping aside and pulling the door open a little more to let him inside. Thank god that little conversation did the job.

Before he could think too far from that, there was a strong aroma of bacon, eggs, spices and....fish? It filled his nose and Arthur finds his feet following the trailing scent like a fox, making a beeline to the front of the house, where the kitchen is. The sound of his padding footsteps change in time with the floors once he steps into the kitchen, with Lewis himself just right there.

Arthur flinches, attention fixating on him, and every ounce of calmness he had flies out the window along with Lewis finally realizing it wasn’t his sister who came in. Said man's expression drops and his eyebrows fly up under his hair. 

“Arthur! When did you-!”

Holding up his hands in a surrendering manner, he side steps around Lewis and makes sure that there is enough space for Lewis to feel comfortable- if he can at all with you here- shut up. “Just got here, I don't know if you heard, but your sister is going to be quite the bouncer one day!” Arthur jokes, hoping that it would help lighten the mood. Except… Lewis’s face remained just as startled. 

“Ah… oh, I see! I… hm.” He turns around, focusing once more on… cleaning out bowls-? Arthur peers over his side and spots a pan of dough on top of the oven and several bowls filled with seafood. Crab, shrimp, scallops and oysters! Arthur blinks dumbly and glances back at Lewis’s back., whose shoulders are tense and an air of anxiety wafts off him. Lewis has a stainer positioned in the sink and he's rinsing off the ingredients.

God… god he really wished he didn’t have to feel that way. Shoving that sentiment down, he shuffles off his vest and hangs it on the back of a chair. “Whatcha making?” 

Lewis audibly gulps, tapping his fingers against the metal strainer as he starts to clean each individual one. “Mama informed me that you particularly enjoy the Surfs-up Pizza from the Midnight Typhoon, so i'm… going to try and make some for you, with the- the spices you mentioned last night.” 

It wasn’t like him to fumble over his words like that, it wasn’t like this last year..

Arthur pops up beside him, a grin on his face, “Mind if I help?”

Lewis pauses, quickly taking in his work and his frown shifts several times before settling on a haphazard smile, “Ah- It was meant to be a surprise for you-! But I suppose it wouldn’t be an issue.”

“Awesome, just tell me what you want me to do then.” 

Arthur took over washing the shrimp and peeling off the shells. After a short moment he’s asking Lewis for a knife to take out some of the more unsightly veins along the shrimp's back. At the same time, Lewis had gotten to work on pressing the salmon into the dough to form a stuffed crust, and soon enough Arthur was making jokes about how big this pizza was going to turn out. Then, placed into the oven for a short while so it can gain just that bit more of stiffness.

After, the mozzarella and sharp cheddar cheese is put into the pan and melted, various spices and even more cheese is added, along with garlic and pineapples. Lewis got to work on making the parsley sauce with lemon and herbs for the sauce base, and spread across the coatings of cream cheese and salmon scales. 

Any order that Lewis would even vaguely give out, Arthur was on it. Cutting, washing, peeling... The smells waft together and mix nicely in the air, a comforting aroma. One that had Arthur drooling and ...

Slowly, helped Lewis calm down. To the point where he wouldn’t mind the small quips and would even throw some back at him. Not only that but he wasn’t as bothered by Arthur hovering around him to peer into the oven and watch the cheese melt and the toppings all sink in. 

The half timer goes off. Lewis snags a mitten and opens the open, pulling out the tray halfway so he can make out how much time was left. Although to Arthur, it was more than ready! The colorful and contrasting colors popping so much more with the amount of steam rising off it. Immediately, a delicious smell of garlic and spice mix together and Arthur had to resist leaning in so far. 

He would have, with his chin on Lewis’s arm and a hand on his shoulder, if not for the eyes pinning him in place. He slips the pan back in and she’s the timer again, but his attention doesn’t leave Arthur for a moment.

Arthur swallows, eyebrows furrowed together. All of the anxiety from before is back and more intense than ever and Arthur can feel the questions burning in Lewis’s skull. A look of... concern. 

“Arthur,” he starts, and all of the progress they just made feels like it was breaking, “Can we talk, about last night.”

Shit, shit, shit, what did he want to talk about- you know what he wants to talk about you dumb idiot just nod your head and get this over with-

His eyebrows furrow and Arthur finds himself chewing on his lip from just imagining where this conversation was heading. Ask him why when Arthur has no idea. It was a dumb decision in hind sight. Resigning himself- for some cruel and overly dramatic fate- Arthur nearly plops down on a nearby seat, gripping the handle-

Lewis smacks his lips with a click, “Alright, just allow me to put-“ 

Arthur didn’t have a moment to process his feet being on the floor before he’s bolting up. A sudden burst of energy fueled by the distinct want to not say anything zipping through his jittery arms, snagging the last few remaining plates off the counter, and right out from underneath Lewis’s fingers.

“Sure! Hey- I mean,” Arthur tries to say, but his tongue flops in his mouth unapologetically and he’s gripping the faucet and turning it full blast. “We can always talk while we work! The faster we get done with it, the faster we can- sit, sit and .. relax and.. communicate!” 

Lewis is staring at him. Only one eye visible under his hair, usually so neat and perfect but this time ruffled, and it glimmers with the rays of sunlight outside of the window and steam beginning to frame his face.

He can’t breath under that stare. Lungs simply puffing out. And yet, Lewis didn’t stop watching him. His expression all unreadable to Arthur, and that was probably the worst part of all of it.

Then he nods. Bobbing his head the smallest bit and hardly giving him a second glance, “Okay, that should be fine.” Lewis says. The sharp, stinging coldness of his voice piercing through Arthurs chest and he didn’t know what to do with the bleeding pain. The regret. Guilt. It should have been him, not you his mind practically screams. 

But he turns away, gripping a sponge and holding it until scalding water, and scraping it harshly against the bowl full of grease.

It would have been fine. His heart will stop racing and they can talk about this like adults, and it’ll be fine. He doesn’t have to tell Lewis anything, and hide so much from him, and it’ll be fine. It will be fine.

Lewis, has other plans. Reaching over Arthurs arm with a small excuse me floating between them, Lewis sets one bowl down gingerly into the drying rack, and Arthur gets a warning to go faster from the sirens in his skull. He scrubs his bowl a few seconds too long.

Finally, “Arthur, why are you doing all of this?” 

Arthur feels like a jolt of electricity ran along his arms and fried the veins in his biceps. They’re far too tight and his mind fixates to that issue in an attempt to ignore what was asked. 

“Wh-whadda mean?”

“The car, the gifts. Being- ... so ridiculously nice to me.” Arthur didn’t have to look up to know that Lewis was looking at him, a specific sternness, a power to him that struck Arthur as familiar. And it occurs to him again why was was so scared of Lewis all those months ago. If Lewis could sense his anxiety, he doesn’t comment, “I can’t tell it’s special treatment and I would rather hope it’s not.”

His thighs feel like jelly, knees slowly liquefying. “W-well.. your family...” 

What is the point in lying? The truth will come out soon enough, and then the animosity Arthur can feel would be worse. 

“Because.. I wanted to be your friend.. and...” he sputters lamely, unable to tear his eyes away from the shiny metal coating of the sink, “Y-your family is really nice to me, and I ... I wanted to make sure you’d be all set.”

Vivi isn’t here with anything to back him up. So what is he suppose to do with the bone crushing truth thats becoming heavier than the weight of the world. Hide that and the pain as it bleeds into his legs and feet and this pathetic jive he does to dance around it?

”Why?”

“I-“ Drumming his fingers against the next bowl, he forces his energy to push out through the sponge, “I thought that.. offering something... would help that? Show that I was..” Kind? Trust worthy? God, how did he do this last summer- 

Lewis scoffs, “If you wanted to know me, simply speaking to me would have been much easier.” He twists himself back, picking up his own sponge and grinding it against another one of his bowls. “I don’t like presents. Gifts and the like- it’s different if you’re family, but you aren’t. I would much rather you not give me anything again.”

Ouch. His chest aches like something slashed through it, like the scar against his stomach was ripping open again-

He forces his jaw to unlock, “Yeah, yeah... no gifts. I can respect that.. of course.”

The air doesn’t lose its tension. It was getting harder to distinguish logic and memory.

Becoming more difficult to keep his mouth shut. Not say anything. Not ruin this even more than he already has. He should excuse himself and text Vivi, god- god he cant keep this to himself. But the pressure ripples up and down his back, and his nerves burn with the sensation of being watched. 

Arthur lifts his eyes, and Lewis is scowling. The guilt, the regret triples. 

How can he tell him? 

How is he supposed to respond to this...?

“... Wasn’t my intention to make things... weird.. I promise..”

Lewis’s expression changes, becoming something much more angry- baffled and almost livid. “You don’t- you don’t know me, at all,” Yes I do, “and- and while I appreciated that you asked and that you didn’t force it on me.. we have only known each other for less than a day.” his voice strains, hushed and whispered and Arthur could tell that it was because Lewis didn’t want his sisters to hear. They were in their rooms. Arthur can’t ponder it because Lewis brushes a hand through his hair, disheveling his locks even more, “Hell! The fact that you’ve somehow captured the heart of my family is- it’s mind boggling!” The slips in Lewis’s voice stop hurting, and if it did, Arthur couldn’t distinguish it from the pangs of hurt rippling through his chest. 

“We did know each other. We met last summer.”

Lewis’s face contorts. Eyebrows knitted and mouth twisted in a surprised scowl. 

Shit.

“That isn’t possible, we didn’t meet once last year.” 

World thrown off kilter, Arthur takes a step back, needing way too much space too breath and Lewis was far too big. His breath like a dragon and if he didn’t calm down then- No, don’t assume to worst of him! You did this, you piece of shit! Tell him.

Arthur swallows, and he restrains his shaking shoulders. But the second he opens his mouth to retort absolutely nothing was able to get past the dry lump in his throat and his lips squeeze shut. He messed up, he knows he messed up the entire time because all do they consequences were beginning to unfold and-

“L-look, It’s.. shit, it’s really complicated and I- I wasn’t suppose to tell you..?” Arthur claps a palm against his eye and his chest rises raggedly. Unable to make out the definitions in Lewis’s face that showed clear as day that he didn’t believe him. “Last summer, Vivi invited us both on the camping trip- she was planning it for months and then- and then-!” Arthurs head blue screens, empty and the memory doesn’t come up like he wants it too.

But he can feel it, he can taste embers in his teeth and soot clinging to his hair and hear the marching of feet that stamped out his heartbeat. Shit. Shit shit shit, why was he saying it- why can’t he finish it-!!

Trees, trees and eyes and hundreds of legs and-

Blink once and he was still there. Blink twice and he was in front of Lewis. Who looms there with a growing agitation. 

“When was this?” Lewis demands, “I didn’t go on a camping trip at all last year, and Vivi didn’t invite me to one either!”

The group. Following it. Glaring and approaching with sticks and spears and knives and needles-

And Lewis. Lewis. Covered in blood and why was there so much blood?

Arthur gasps, moving back and his mind stalls with terror. Too close, too close to close back away back away BACK AWAY-! Lewis is so close and so angry and his heart pounds and ears ring and-

Ding!

They both freeze. Lewis’s eyes flicker back to the oven, and he straightens up. He grumbles a small bit, but Arthur would be lying if he said he could be happier to have Lewis’s attention diverted. 

He doesn’t move. Watching Lewis carefully with bated breath, doing everything in his power to contact any spirit or god to move his feet so that way he can breathe for a single moment if given the chance. 

And to halt whatever memories that may be resurfacing.

Please don’t make him go through that again, make us relive it.

DRINGG... 

Snapping out of his cycle of thinking, his head snaps over to the table where his phone gave a thunderous roar. Vivi. Vivi’s calling.

“S.. sorry Lewis,” Reaching out, he snags it before it could dance it’s way off the table, “Gotta tale this.”

He didn’t look at Lewis’s and Lewis didn’t look back at him. But a soft grumble follows him as he steps into the living room. 

Cayenne is there, headphones on and playing video games, but she moves one of the pods from her ear and tilts her head at him, “What’re you two fighting about-“

“Not now,” Arthur mumbles, clicking the accept button and holding the phone up to his ear, “Vivi, talk to me.”

A brief second of quiet and groaning follows, a bead squeaking, ”I.. good news or bad news first.”

His stomach drops, how low? He couldn’t figure it out, “Bad news,”

Vivi laughs, giggles, ”Uh... attack. Jiji isn’t here so uh.. can you come over? Good news is that I found the.. the th- ing!” Her voice peaks, pain lacing her tone. The image of Vivi bumping into something flies in front of his minds eye and his teeth grit, panic sky rocketing. 

”G..god... fuckin head... hurts... good boy, Mystery..”

“Yes, yes, I’ll be over in fifteen minutes. Are you in bed?”

”On my side..”

Arthur lets out a shuddering sigh of relief, and spares a glance over his shoulder at Lewis. Said man had been peering through the kitchen door and his face no longer adorned that look of hatred, instead, concern.

“Okay, good. Good, have Mystery grab your trash can, I’ll- we-? May be over in a few minutes.”

”Ooookie- doki..” she breaths, and the like goes dead. 

Instantly, Lewis speaks up, now beside him and worry lacing his knitted eyebrows, “What happened?”

“A .. an attack.”

Lewis’s distress triples, and he nearly smacked his hands against his mouth, “Again-? Oh god, she was doing so well-!” His demeanor switches immediately, and Lewis dashes across the living room to look out the window, ignoring how Cayenne groaned. Searching for-

Arthur pats his pockets, hearing the jingle of his keys and the chatting of his teeth. This was too much for one day, Jesus Christ.

“Hey- I.. I got my keys, so-“

Lewis pops back up instantly, “Good. C’mon, let’s go.” Lewis then commands, and both of them were out the back door. Sprinting across the parking lot. All while Arthur tried desperately to grab for any conclusion. He was mad- just like that- and now he’s not?? It was like he flipped a switch or something-!

Arthur grabs the handle of the drivers seat, unlocks the rest of the doors and jams his keys into the ignition. Hopping in right after, Lewis clutches the door handle and and middle console. As if ready to jump out at any moment. 

Oh yeah, he was a theatre kid, wasn’t he?

He’s too tired for this. But then again, Arthur didn’t matter right now. The only thing that mattered was that they get to Vivi as soon as possible.

Soon enough, they’re on the road, and Arthur’s skin starts to crawl all over again. Eyebrows furrowing together as he peers over at the excited Lewis, his knee now bouncing.

Ignoring the fact that maybe a few minutes ago, Lewis was seconds away from yelling at him, Arthur asks, “When you guys were at school, did she have these attacks a lot?” 

He didn’t see it at first but Lewis’s gaze drops, guilt blooming across it the second it does, and he nods. “Yes.. she- she usually had them after phone calls and- thankfully most only occurred in her dorm room..  Goodness I was always so scared for her.. I can’t believe I forgot.” He whines a tad bit, drumming his fingers against the door handle.

Shit, shit was it after his calls? Just how long has he been destroying their li- the thought buries itself, because beside him Lewis once again huffs something under his breath. 

“What?” 

”Nothing.” Lewis sighs, a bit heavily too, before a few seconds pass and he relents, turning and opening his mouth, “Wh-.. how do you know Vivi?” 

Arthur blinks in a momentary wave of shock, raking his brain for a short second for the specifics. 

“I- I kinda knew her ever since I was,... four. But we only became.. friends within the last few years.” Was Lewis trying to see if he was a credible source? Smart. But the implications of that almost brings a scowl to his face...

Until he realizes why he is probably anything but trustworthy. It didn’t help to punch in his chest. 

The rest of the drive is silent, Arthur didn’t dare to look over at Lewis unless it was necessary and Lewis kept glancing at his phone. 

That is, until the blue and beige house comes into view. The driveway is completely empty and a shuffle at the window indicates that someone was already there. No one bad, of course, because it was someone meaning harm, Mystery wouldn’t be checking the windows for when they arrived.

The dog jumps up, both paws pressed against the window before he scuffles out of sight. But the dog begins to scratch at the door, evident but the loud repetitive scraping noise against the wooden door when Arthur runs across the lawn. His keys dangling between his fidgety fingers and he runs into the door. Fiddling with all of them chiming digits. So focused on yanking out the single key bedazzled with the letter Y, that he didn’t even process the giant shadow trapping him in. Nor the mass of jumbled anxiety and evident fear seeping off Lewis like sweat. Not like he would be able to distinguish between them-

The door clicks open. Arthur throws it open and without even thinking to remove his shoes he leaps over Mystery’s erratic form and races the dog down to Vivi’s room.

Down the hall and to the right- Mystery beats him there. Heavier footfalls and the door shutting behind him slips past his mind. Instead, he slips into the room and-

“Vivi-?!”

In his mind, he was sure that she would be on the floor, sprawled out with her glasses  scattered away from her, surrounded by pictures and books and paper. 

For the most part, the scene was exact, except for the most crucial part being that Vivi isn’t on the ground and pushing herself up weakly. Instead- heavy snores brings his sight to the bed pressed for he corner of the room. Relief washes over him, not faltering even with Lewis bumping into him to peer inside. Buried in a bundle of blue comforters and light yellow sheets, Vivi’s hair sprawls out over the pillow. 

Shuffling past them, Mystery whines and scratches at Lewis’s thigh. A water bottle in between his jaw. Blinking dumbly, Lewis connects the dots and takes the bottle. 

“I’ll be right back,” he murmurs, Arthur hardly acknowledges him past a short “yeah” and a thumbs up. More worried and preoccupied in making sure nothing was blocking Vivi’s airway. Only jumping to alertness as the bed bounces. Mystery takes his place behind her legs and plops his head on her hip. Yawning. 

And pointedly looking at him, nodding to the floor.

Shoving down the feeling that it looked way too ... deliberate for a dog, Arthur turns to where he was looking, “Whats wrong boy.... oh..”

There it is. The photo book, and several piles surrounding it on the floor.

Arthur’s unable till year his gaze away from it. Breath trapped in his throat and Arthur can’t see Lewis when he comes back. But he can hear him, heavy footfalls and the way it made the ground shake, Lewis squeezes past him and kneels beside Vivi, the creak from his weight was the most noticeable. “Hey there, Sweetie.” A palm strokes her hair, “Feeling okay?”

If Arthur was more entranced with the book, now on his knees and scooping up the piles, taking small glances to determine their status and hiding and placing them likewise, he would have missed the way Vivi’s snore stutters and Mystery’s small noise. 

“Yes, I know... I know she’s asleep.” Lewis hums. Leaning all of his weight back onto his feet. Not saying anything. 

Then there’s silence. Second by second it pricks Arthur and he’s becoming enveloped in the months these photos were taken. Gingerly taking them, taking extra care in ensuring not a single one bent or crinkles. These memories were the last they had-! 

Arthur’s skin prickles with goose bumps. Flinching over and he faintly catches Lewis’s eye. 

Taking in the photographs. A mixture of blatant confusion and startled clarity.

Arthur’s stomach drops. A hand slapping down to grab the pile of loose photos that depicted a building in the tree lines and silhouettes and stains and light and every one of those fucking symbols-

A large, dark hand reaches forward and another pile is meticulously scooped up. 

Arthur’s entirety froze, and now it’s his turn to stare at Lewis, worry encapsulating him and he just prays he didn’t see what Arthur knew was in there. 

But Lewis, his eyes were glued to the photo at the top of his pile. 

A photograph, filled with evergreen trees that filtered out the setting sun. And three forms squeezed into the shot. The smallest, with deep blue eyes and a a s’more sticking out of her stretched lip, and a flaming marshmallow on a metal rod. A taller form, who was hugging against the form who took the photo, clearly soaked to the bone if the drips sliding down his face met anything. And the tallest, the photographer...

Was Lewis. 

A great big grin across his face and he looked like he was seconds from a hearty laugh. 

Lewis now, has his eyebrows furrowed together as his befuddlement grows. “What... what is this?”

Arthur wished he could move back, but there’s only so much room, instead, he unfolds his legs and rolls onto his behind. 

“They’re.. the photos from last year. It’s... it’s what we did that summer, on the trip you and I me-“ 

“I have no recollection of this trip-! I - I’m-?” 

It was too on the nose, even he could admit, but he still couldn’t help but flinch. Not until Lewis grasps his own hair and nearly pulls. The cogs in his head spinning and gnashing and grinding and please don’t let him remember that.

Arthur swallows, reaching up and meticulously nabbing the photo. He turns it around.

”A Night to remember”

The date, being June 12th.

Last year.

Arthur stares at it for too long, his wrist and fingers beginning to twitch and tremble. And a silent, quick breath has his gaze dart over to Lewis. 

Please don’t remember it, don’t remember the bad-

Heh, how funny how much he switches between those sentiments. Don’t let him remember yet do everything you can to remind him. What a dick move.

Lewis’s eyes look vacant and yet full of a single feeling that Arthur could only guess the sensation. But then, Lewis leans forward and he flips the book to the first page, and inscribed along the top of the page was a simple message written in cursive- distinctly Lewis’s handwriting.

We made it : )

The rest of the photos were the progression of the first day. Scattered between a multitude of stacked and layered photos of insects, flowers, tree bark, and the sunlight. There's a before and after picture of the camping place they chose. Full of twigs and branches and bushes, most of which were too much in the way- hecked down and then used as fuel for the fire that slowly grew- if the cinderblocks positioned in a circle meant anything. Coolers came next and so did a tent beside the Van. The sun was slowly beginning to fall through all of them, the light casting warm rays on their skin as the cool air settles around them. Arthur can still make out every single breeze...

Then, there was a new stack. Of the stars, And under it is a sloppy handwritten caption; “How great is it to see the world through nature's eyes" -Lewis Pepper

Arthur could have laughed. Lewis had said that randomly while they stargazed, eyes glimmering and bright and smiling softly in the way that he did. It threw them off so much that Vivi scrambled to write it down. A permanent reminder of their time together, and things like that cant just go unquoted, Vivi had said. In the blink of an eye, Arthur is looking down at Lewis's hands. Flipping the page and taking in each photo and its contents for so long Arthur could have made the joke that he had a quiz about it...

Did Lewis still do that? He asks himself, a shuddering breath rumbling down his lungs, and he resists the urge to take in his face, still made poetry out of the air and the breeze? Point out the smallest things and phrasing it in such a way that everyone around him fell in love with it?

One can only hope...

Glancing back, Arthur reaches forward, fingering the edges of certain photographs where their smiles were brightest. He wished he could go back. Peel those photos out and make a portal in the floor out of twigs and cinder blocks where the sky was infinite and all he knew was Vivi, Mystery... and Lewis. He would give anything for the calm and peaceful realities these photos reflected. 

Among those pages, something started to stick out- every day has a good morning and goodnight photo and each and everyone looked too similar now that he was staring at them so intensely. Each one always had the three of them together. Snuggled up under the blankets or blinking blearily against the light of the sun. One even featured Vivi flipping it off. 

Then there was the fun photos. Various antics like collecting things and discovering a river and deer. A few were just of Arthur and Vivi being as creepy as they could. Standing against the treeline, resembling shadows. Sometimes standing in the middle of the night, staring off into the distance like they saw something...

Man, they caused Lew so much grief with that shit.. Arthur smiles fondly. 

Over the month, they must have taken hundreds of photos, and even more cameras had to be sacrificed for said photos. Arthur could tell the distinct camera they used simply by the imperfection those photos had. 

A scratch, a wrinkle, sometimes there was spots of light and glares they couldn't fix. Color faded in the corners of a few and some of them had the faintest blur in them. Hazy grains, a line down the center...

They only saved the best for the book... Arthur wishes all of them were here.

Lewis was... silent. Very slowly beginning to ask questions about what was happening in one photo. What they were doing, why they were there.. why his parents allowed him to leave.. All until there was no more questions to ask and Lewis was left there, drained... Reeling. 

What he didn't mention though, something that was prodding at Arthur as the observation clouded the room and hugged at his shoulders in some overwhelming mass.

The Development of their relationship.

In just a few pages, there was an obvious shift. Starting out with silly poses and a clear tension between the two, to the pictures of just them two with their arms slung around each others sides and snuggled under a blanket together. Card games, hugs, setting a campfire, feeding each other the smores. Hugging, cuddling as they fell asleep and tangled together when they woke up. Gazing into eachothers eyes and Vivi's various faces as she picked up on it- 

Lewis flipped another page, and a small gasp rips Arthur attention toward him. He looked- horrified? Startled? Baffled-

Arthur's eyes slip down, and the bolded, decorated words allowed the puzzle pieces fall into place.

First Kiss

Several photos are pressed into the pages, all showing Lewis and Arthur talking. Lewis, hovering and coming much closer. 

Diving into a kiss, the same time that Vivi caught Arthurs attention and caused him to turn into it. What was suppose to be a cheek kiss quickly shuffled and dance into a mouth one. 

The next picture has them staring at each other, clearly shocked. 

And the one after that was Arthur leaning into Lewis and returning it. Happy. Deliberate. 

And now so completely unattainable. Arthur thinks to himself bitterly, eyes trailing down to the hand written message, cursive letters. 

I asked him out two minutes afterward.

He said yes <3

Followed by a half scribbled message, Arthurs handwriting, And cried. 

Shoulders shaking, Arthur takes in a long breath to fill his lungs and hide his lip quivering.

“No wonder you wanted to kiss me...” Lewis suddenly says, popping Arthur out of his bubble, expression overcome with clarity and a thoughtfulness that Arthur couldn’t pinpoint. Eyeing the pictures and dragging his fingertips against the photo. 

Arthur swallows, choking as Lewis’s tone spoke eons more than his battered thoughts did. He waves his hands fast ad hard (how he didn’t snap then was almost beyond him) “It- it doesn’t- look man, just because something was there before-! It doesn’t mean you have to do this again or anything-! I don’t mind it-“ 

Lewis glances up at him, eyes so much softer than how they were less than an hour ago, and Arthur freezes once more at the startling contrast. Not that he minded.. Lewis huffs out a small laugh, head turning and fluffy hair circling his head- even more messy than before, but sometimes things called for that, didn't they- “No, it just.. makes sense,” Lewis says, immense shoulders squeezing together and framing his chin awkwardly, “l... I guess I didn’t really... forget that aspect of it.”

Arthur’s stomach worms. Filling with soda fizz and bubbles that will most likely make him vomit if not for- “Wh-Wha?”

A dusting of red warms Lewis’s skin, his head lulling to the side and Arthur couldn’t see his eyes anymore, “I’ve been thinking of you none stop since-.. since you paid off the car,” Lewis admits, and the mention has reflections of the past few days flashing in his head. Chugging his wine, eyeing him that way when Arthur came in, the odd stammering he had. Shy. He was sorta shy about this stuff then, right..? “Pining, I’m pretty sure that's what it's called.”

Was- was his heart racing right now? Arthur blinks rapidly and the thumping refuses to stop no matter how many times he recites a prayer in his mind. Yet, failing to hold back the prickles dancing up his skin and making his vision blur with- Oh fuck, oh fuck don’t start crying I know you’re emotional but come on-

“I guess we’re even then.”

Lewis tilts his head, baffled for less than a second, before a laugh betrays him, “That- that doesn’t make sense. You should elaborate-”

“Doesn’t have to be,” Arthur said, a dopey grin replacing the shock and shame that started to persist, “I’ve- i've been pinning too- this whole time-” 

A second wave of clarity strikes Lewis, and Arthur can't tell if he simply missed what he said or what he said reminded him of something even more important-

“Why did I forget this- us?” The waver in his voice was enough to make Arthurs heart still. And his breath, which he notices too late as his eyes trail toward the pages and sweat starts to dot his hands. 

He was hoping Lewis wouldn’t ask. Wouldn’t- pay attention to that.. But that wasn’t realistic. Arthur reminds himself, taking a deep breath and shoving the crinkling branches and elongated limbs out of his head, “We… we ran into a cult..”

The words came out easier than he thought it would, accompanied by a wheeze if anything from his tightly clenched throat. What wasn’t easy to hold back was the floodgates of those memories that would spray out of his mouth like a waterfall. “It looked like a retreat at first- mostly.. Couples and .. shit, I don’t know…” tall forest shadows that weren't evergreens. “We- we didn’t even see em, like- for the first… month in a half, we were unaware that they even existed...” Arthur fights back a cough, a shudder yanks at his chest, fear fighting to get out, all of it trying to leap out, “At the time- at the time were just figured it was.. Hikers. Things of that nature.. But Vivi- Vivi found a tree-house and a couple was there. I didn’t met them but they were-... they were scared.” Screeching, jolting them awake in the middle of the night. “Something- happened. They.. I guess they got into trouble one night, because they ran into our camp and-.. fuck- something was following them.”

It was long, with the body of a snake and dozens of legs like a centipede. Rustling through the forest like an army just rustling after those two people… 

It looked like a woman- 

A hand grips his shoulder, and Arthur lurches back, eyes wide, ears ringing as he's yanked out of those memories like a fish out of water and his mouth opened and closed- trying to gasp in air-

Lewis pulls back, eyes wide and eyebrows arched as he sees what he’s done, “S-sorry-! Arthur..” His shock slips into something else, stronger, and a comorting wave resonates off him and Arthur's trembling settles for hardly a minute. Lewis presses his palm against Arthurs shoulder blade again, hesitant at first but... “You don’t have to tell me anymore, I.. I- we can talk about it again, later, but-”

“No,” Lewis's hand retracts and Arthur mourns the lost warmth, “I- .. you deserve to know…”

“Not when the thought of it sends you into hysterics, Arthur, you don’t deserve that-”

Arthur snaps his head up so quick that his neck strains, “But I- I didn’t suffer like you guys did-!” His ears are swimming, and it sounds like he's under water, hardly able to understand himself past the echos and the expressions covering Lewis’s face, “I’m the only one who had it easy enough to even retain those months- the very least I can do is let you know what happened-” 

Bonk.

And just like that, the world clears up. 

They aren’t in a forest, facing off with a centipede woman. 

They’re in Vivi’s room, surrounded by photos and light pouring in, illuminating the glow of Lewis’s form- “Will you shut up about that?” 

Both of them whip back, facing Vivi who is holding the cardboard tube of gift wrapping paper, a look of irritation clear on her face. As well as a bone deep tiredness. She glowers, holding up the tube and bonking him again. “You, were just as traumatized as us, the only difference is that Lewis can't remember at all, and I get attacks when I try to. But you remember all of it, that’s probably worse.”

Frowning tightly, Lewis glances between the two rapidly, “Wait-! What happened, what did the - the cult?- do to us?” 

Vivi shrugs, slumping into her pillow, “I’ll be honest, Lew. I have no clue.” She glances over at Arthur, who sits straight up as her eyes meet his, gulping back anxiously, “But- don’t bully him to tell you, as you can tell what that does-“

“A-ah!” Arthur bounces to attention, forcing a wide straining grin, “I can talk about it-! It wasn’t that bad-! I-“

“Arthur.” Lewis and Vivi say in usion, and Arthur falls silent, shame decorating his face. Vivi bonks him again, and the message goes through. Regardless she keeps talking, gaining a carefree smile, “It’s okay, we can talk about it later, like…. I don’t know, after the party? Which-“ until the gears in her head connect the relationship of now and said party. She leaps up, starting to push herself up and almost tumbling off the bed, “shit-! Shouldn’t we get ready for that?”

“It’s not for another few hours,” Lewis mentions, catching her as she flops onto him, a faint smile stretched across his fingers and Vivi groans with relief.

“Oh thank god-“ she said- or whined, letting her feet fall and Arthur catches them and brings them into his lap, massaging them lightly, taking in the frigid yet squishy feeling of her soles, “God.. I’m so tired, I just wanna nap..” 

“Well, no wonder,” Lewis responds, smiling and carding his fingers through her hair, slinging a pillow she was sleeping with and tucking it under her hair, before he continues with pride in his eyes, “you’ve been going to college ever since you were sixteen! On top of working, you deserve some rest.” He said that as if she didn’t already know the specifics, but she shrugs. Nevertheless, his expression did not lose that one little quirk. The small hint.

He wanted to know. Wanted to know everything.

Arthur takes a deep breath, and leans forward, grabbing the photo of all three of them together.

You two are the most amazing people I have ever met.

 Where Vivi was eating two mores, Arthur was soaked, and Lewis was… happy, “I can't tell you about.. The cult bu-but I can.. Tell you what happened before that…” The small offer made Lewis’s eyes light up. 

I can just see you two ruling the world…

Except his large shoulders sag, but he gives Arthur a smile. 

Neither of you deserved the suffering you went through.

“Sure, I’d like that.”

Arthurs leans forward, and he allows that memory to fill his head and fill the air around them. Telling the entire story, in full. Until Vivi was clutching her sides laughing and Lewis was grabbing another photo for him to explain.

But if I can make it up like this, then I will.

The stars from before, were tainted in his eyes, but he still explained the beauty they found in it.

“And Lewis said, brilliantly, Is this what it’s like, to see the world through nature's eyes?”

Now, the faintly glowing stars plastered to every inch of the ceiling looked more radiant. 

Or maybe, it was just them.

[dontenchantme]

déjà vu

Rated T, solomon x mc.

there was something disturbingly familiar about solomon. she just wished she knew what it was.

fics masterlist

Solomon was rarely gentle.

Placing them together usually resulted in some kind of explosion – they didn’t talk to each other, preferring to let their actions speak for them. Scratching and spitting, pushing and pulling – he was neither soft nor kind, but to be fair, she wasn’t the most loving person either.

She didn’t even know how they had fallen into each other this way. It seemed like one day she had been minding her own business, trying, as usual, to sort out the mess that was the House of Lamentation – then Solomon sent her a text, asking if they could meet at Purgatory Hall.

Out of curiosity and no small amount of spite, she agreed.

He wasn’t someone she got along very well with. Something within her recoiled the very first time she saw the white-haired sorcerer – some part of her had pulled away, hissing when he approached her and introduced himself. The feeling of hatred was almost overwhelming, and even though she tried not to let it show on her face, she guessed that he could somehow sense the hostility she tried to bury deep within her chest.

From then on, he held her at a distance. He was cordial but their interactions were fleeting, practically non-existent. It made things rather awkward whenever Luke or Simeon asked her to visit and try some pastries or talk about her life in the human realm.

When she came over at his behest, the first thing she asked was what he wanted from her. She had no doubt he invited her over for a purpose – Solomon was not the type to make casual chit-chat, and she wondered how she knew that despite how little they spoke.

It was then that he caught her hand between his and she stiffened, immediately wary of his next move. Part of her wondered if he was about to confess his feelings for her, perhaps – there was an intensity in his yellow-blue eyes that she’d never seen before.

But all he asked was whether or not she hated him. And for a moment, she wasn’t too sure how to respond – with the truth? She knew that the truth was unreasonable. It didn’t make sense that she held such strong emotions for a man she barely knew.

Tell me honestly. It was this straightforward, almost demanding prompt that broke the hold on her tongue – immediately she pulled her hand away from him, hissing words filled with spite, an unconscious stream of thought that she could barely recall now, even if the rest of her memory was clear as day. She had no idea what she told him then, but she did have a vague recollection of her repeatedly saying how much she hated him.

When she was done, her chest heaving from exertion, still reeling from shock at her sudden outburst, Solomon pulled her towards him and kissed her, and at that moment she forgot about everything else – she could only think about his soft lips and how hungry he felt, how his hands roamed across her body in a way that was almost familiar, how that same rage-filled part of her welcomed his touch, desire flooding her body at his nearness.

That was the first time they fucked. She couldn’t describe their engagements in any other way – Solomon never kissed gently, never whispered words of love and affection, never held her face between his hands so he could look deep into her eyes. Never did any of the things she secretly hoped he would during sex. It wasn’t that she wanted him to be tender with her, at least not outside of the bedroom. But she craved some sort of intimacy – being with him like this felt almost hollow. Nothing like what she had been expecting when she first said yes.

There was an almost clinical precision in the way they fucked, a rigidity that contradicted the chaos and the violence – if they kissed, they bit, and they bled. They left bruises that purpled and marred the skin; his back was covered in scratches, and more than once he had yanked out a fistful of hair that he’d have to magic back into place after they were done.

She lost track of the number of injuries they inflicted upon each other, accidentally or not, in the pursuit of their pleasure – but she wouldn’t give this up for anything in the world. Not when it was the only thing that quietened the seething fury within her; not when being with him felt like both the most amazing and terrible thing, all at the same time.

He was rarely gentle. But once in a while, she’d catch him running his hands through her hair, lifting locks of it to his lips, his eyes closing. In thought? In remembrance? She wasn’t sure. There was something almost sweet about these gestures, and she might have been moved if she ever thought there was anything more between them. But she knew there wasn’t.

As things were, they were simply scratching a mutual itch. She gave as good as she received, and she doubted there was anything else Solomon might want from her.

But sometimes, she caught him staring at her with a thoughtful look on his face, and once, she swore he almost said something – that for just one moment, recognition had flickered through his eyes and she hesitated, wondering if he had an explanation for the mysterious anger that never failed to bubble up within her at the sight of him.

Then he averted his gaze, and he was back to his usual, infuriatingly placid self. She couldn’t stand how calm he always was. How he felt like the tranquil blue sky, serene without a care in the world, while she was always suffering, ripping herself apart the moment she came close to him. If she was more rational, she would have avoided him. But she wasn’t rational.

Whenever Solomon touched her, he was demanding, sometimes cruel. He’d wrap his fingers around her throat, and they hissed and spat at each other, a cacophony of pain languishing in their voices. It almost felt like he wanted to claw into her. Like he wanted to dig something out from underneath her skin and expose the raw, hot flesh that lay beneath the surface.

And she always returned his intensity, words sharp as knives falling from her lips. She’d rake her nails across his back and he never once flinched, never tried to stop her – he’d watch her with something almost like betrayal in his gaze, and she wondered who had hurt him.

She wondered what nightmares ran through his mind when he tried to sleep at night, why he didn’t like to be left alone in his room, why he’d rather put up with her insults and her jibes than to lie on an empty bed. He always came back no matter how viciously she treated him, even if tried her best to push him away in the hopes that he’d never return.

She never thought of him as a masochist, but then again, she wasn’t usually a sadist either.

One day, when they were together, her cries of pain and pleasure echoing through his room, he wound his fingers through her hair and pulled, forcing her to meet his gaze. I love you, he said, but she realised that he wasn’t looking at her. That he was looking deeper, peering into her eyes in the hopes of pulling something, perhaps even someone, out of her.

She snapped at him. There was no love lost between the two of them, or so she claimed even as her mouth searched for his, even despite the way he kissed her with the desperation of a drowning man clutching at straws. As their bodies melded, his eyes widened, and she heard his voice choke in his throat. Then his mouth opened, and a name fell from his lips.

It wasn’t hers. It was that of another woman. But something within her reacted all the same – her heart throbbed, and unexplainable emotions welled up within her. Hatred, longing, misery, desire. It was all so overwhelming, and she reached for him, clutching onto his shoulders like a lifeline.

There was relief in his gaze when her fingers dug into his skin and she screamed about how much she despised him, how she wished he would just die so that he would suffer in all the ways he deserved. It was so instinctive that for a moment, she felt like she had lost control of her body – she knew it was her hands on him, her voice ripping its way out of her throat, but the memories that flooded her mind weren’t familiar to her.

But when she started sobbing, it was as though a dam had broken – Solomon held her face between his hands, and there was something unspeakably tender about his touch.

He whispered again about how much he loved her, and she wondered why she was still so angry – why she recognised the name that had spilt from his lips, why her rage continued to churn despite his soft, gentle words. She ought to be happy that he did the exact thing she had long wanted him to do, but the thought of his hands upon her skin just made her – no, she wasn’t unhappy about it. But she was conflicted. Everything was so confusing.

When he told her that he’d been searching for centuries, that he’d spent all this time simply hoping for a chance to apologise, she stared back at him, unable to comprehend his words. There was genuine regret in his eyes. But what on earth was he talking about?

[gyromitra-esculenta]

The Mating Habits of Cluster-Lizards

I’m not back but, well, have this, for completion’s sake. Unapologetic crack.

A dead assassin, a half-lizard pleasure slave, a guy who had his hand eaten by a lizard, an Omnic head, and a cannibal walk into a bar... 

Jesse almost suffered a fatal case of accidentally swallowing his own tongue when Jack slammed the Omnic head on the table, and then flopped into the chair with the overdramatic, and frustrated, urgency. Not because it had been something unexpected, the bugger just refused to wear shoes and thus moved around soundlessly, which in turn made tracking him all that harder. At least, he had compromised on the underwear: the skirt left almost nothing to the imagination, especially with his legs up on the table like they were now.

"Oh, sweet-cheeks, if you could move me closer..." This was another thing defying logic, how could a robot sound so undeniably lecherous? Jack absentmindedly turned the Omnic head around with a flick of his toes. "No, no, let me gaze at you, my beautiful sun!"

"Athena told me we've found a solar system, and it might be inhabited."

"Uh, yeah, looks like it."

With a wave, Jesse put the picture of the city on the screen. Jack slinked over the table in a blink with a singular predatory focus on his face, and practically laid on the console.

Leaning definitely too close and rubbing his hip against Jesse's side.

Adding to the general discomfort, the Omnic head gave out a long appreciative 'oh yes' ending on a breathless note while Jack, licking his lips, observed the feed with the intensity of a starving carnivore. Then came the ear-piercing screech of excitement no one remotely sane would bother to stay around long enough to hear in full. Jesse had to admit he was partially used to it and only wanted to run half the time - which probably would end very badly for him one day. Getting accustomed to cluster-lizards' screeching was unadvisable. More so, if one had lost one hand to the beasts already, but sure, Jesse would willingly give up some other limb to get out of the whole deal of being stranded in the dark sector with no foreseeable way of return.

Scratch that, the dark sector was okay by itself. Getting stranded on the same ship with a dead assassin, perverted Omnic head, and half-lizard on the prowl for a partner, or rather, the victim - that took the cake.

"We're going sightseeing!" Jack exclaimed, grabbing his arm.

"This isn't a good idea! We should wake Gabe first!"

"No, no, let's leave him, we don't want him to come. Ever." The Omnic head, snatched by Jack on the way, hurriedly rebutted him.

"At least, wear something!" Jesse protested while dragged by purposefully striding Jack.

"I'm wearing something."

"But not that!"

Jack stopped, turned, and with his head tilted to the side, fixed him with an unblinking stare.

"Is there something wrong with my clothes?"

"They are perfect, my love," the Omnic head piped in, unasked. "Just a little snip and cut, maybe."

'Everything', Jesse wanted to say - because that immodest scrap of blue fabric wrapped around Jack's hips barely qualified as clothes, not to mention the black harness framing his shoulders and chest that couldn't serve any fathomable purpose by itself except being, maybe, a fashion statement.

"Nothing," he squeaked out.

"That's what I thought."

Jack nodded and continued on the way to the dock where he finally released Jesse and climbed into the waiting drone. The Omnic head landed between his thighs, at first silent. After several seconds, it started to buzz as if short-circuiting.

Jesse counted down from ten and asked himself if he really had to do this. Then answered that yes, someone had to chaperone Jack, even if his ability to babysit someone able to scale vertical surfaces and throw objects weighing more than they did themselves was severely limited.

And that was the short story of how Jesse ended sitting in a stinking jail cell with the Omnic head whose lamenting wails he was trying really hard to tune out. The full story was a bit longer and included crashing a local wedding (the groom probably had not survived having been found in the closet with Jack by his spouse-to-be). There was also a clash with a religious institution and the intended 'virgin sacrifice' - despite the fact that using the word 'virgin' in the context of Jack seemed implausible, they probably weren't that much off. Technically. Next, someone had stolen the Omnic head. After Jesse managed to retrieve it, the local authorities became involved, and damn, if they survived all that, Jesse would very much like to invest in, or procure otherwise, the weapon they used because it had dropped Jack almost immediately amidst unholy amount of lizard screeching.

And that lead to Gabriel, who had been woken up by Athena, occupying the cell next to him, sitting awkwardly by the wall with his eyes closed and arms crossed. The fact his legs were lying in the corridor outside of the cell only intensified the awkwardness of his position.

Literally.

They even twitched once in the while. Jesse turned the Omnic head who still refused to shut up around so it faced the corner.

"Is that... you know... uncomfortable?" He waved in the general direction of the corridor.

"Dead feel no pain."

Figures.

"Can't you do, you know, your scary shadow trick?"

"There is too low diffusion of proto-blood in my body for me to make use of the shadow step abilities."

Just peachy. Jesse sighed. For now, he was stuck here with the wonderful conversational partners both the head and Gabriel were

"Listen, right? This is all Jack's fault, again, couldn't you, like... take care of that? He's rolling around like, well, unfixed cluster-lizard?"

Gabe shot him a scathing look.

"Certain physiological functions require having a functioning circulatory system. I don't have one."

Jesse mimed the rest of the usual monologue consisting of 'I am dead' to himself.

"I don't know, get creative, or something, tie something, just do something, or I'll have to even if I hate...!"

"Your dirty hand won't touch the perfection of my love!" The head decided to join in.

"Oh, fer fuck's...!" Jesse didn't finish since the door opened with a bang and Jack, twirling a ring of keys on his finger, sauntered in. There was something definitely off about him because instead of being tense like a coiled whip he was all curves and soft angles, almost gliding.

"Oh, hi Gabe," Jack mumbled in a sing-song voice and promptly unlocked the cell - ignoring both Jesse and the now frantic Omnic head calling out for its 'sweetpea'. Somewhere midway, he dropped to all-fours, slinked to Gabriel, and snuggled against him immediately. Purring.

"Is he... is he high?" Jesse asked, trying his damnedest to ignore the head while Gabriel lifted Jack's chin with one claw and observed his face intently.

"Jackie."

"Mhrrmm?"

"Jackie, legs."

"Right. A moment." The 'r' was long and rolling, and Jack slowly moved back with a hitch in his step. He grabbed the legs still lying in the corridor by the ankles and dragged them over - after which he resumed cuddling Gabe without a pause between the two actions.

"What is wrong with him now?"

"Nothing is wrong," Gabriel muttered, lining the legs against the stumps. The cut sealed nice and proper, together with the fabric, and not for the first time Jesse wondered what was up with the whole getup.

Gabriel tentatively flexed both limbs and then set himself to the gargantuan task of getting up with Jack still latched affectionately onto him. Apparently, somehow, somewhere along the way, Jack gained some qualities of a liquid, switching and melding to Gabriel's frame with alarming ease of someone at least double-jointed. With the lizard thing he had going on, it wasn't completely implausible.

"Hey, hey! Aren't you forgetting about something!?" Jesse jumped to the bars.

"No." Gabriel took the keys out of the lock and threw them to him. Jack tried lazily to snatch them out of the air. Thankfully, his reflexes seemed to lag at least one second behind everything happening. Jesse clambered after the keys, almost dropped them two times total, and immediately tried to open the cell. Past the door, he stopped, and with a heavy sigh turned back to pick up the Omnic head. It wasn't at fault today.

"Keep your filthy paws off me, you disgrace!"

Mostly.

"Shut up. Or I'll throw you into the first latrine on the way," Jesse barked at it while running after Gabe. And stopped mere millimeters shy of smacking face-first into his leather-clad back. With a certain amount of caution, Jesse leaned to the right to peer over his side. Well, he had not expected a whole welcoming party, the band which started to play some happy tune included.

"Dear esteemed guests," the big person with a frankly ridiculous hairdo full of feathers spoke, "I hope you can forgive the indignity of the incident, had we known..."

Addendum: the band tried to play a happy tune. Not one instrument worked in harmony with any of the other but together, they did manage to drown the speaker completely.

"What's going on?" Jesse hissed at Gabriel's back, only to have him turn left.

"We're leaving."

"I think he said something about a 'feast'... I could use something to eat, you know?"

"We are leaving," Gabriel, with one arm wrapped around Jack's stomach, added more forcefully - and started to walk towards his drone standing just a short distance away from the prison.

Jack, on the other hand, somehow dug his heels into the dirt and left behind grooves in it while dragged by force, almost flowing over Gabe's arm like some kind of semi-liquid putty with much too content expression on his face. He was actually wriggling his fingers at the speaking man. The speaker was now blowing kisses in their general direction. The unwelcome epiphany dawned on Jesse. Gods have mercy, he really didn't want to think about the implications.

"Okay, we are leaving, like, now, you're absolutely right."

He scurried after Gabriel trying not to look. Fitting the three of them into one drone proved slightly problematic but finally, Gabe took hold of the steering sticks however improbable the prospect of him being able to pilot with Jack splayed over him seemed to be. How was it possible for there to be this much of legs?

Jesse, squished against the glass, kicked the Omnic head lying on the floor and once again considered the clusterfuck his life had become.

Then the new sound came, one jarring deep to the core, like some poor creature in the final stages of an extremely excruciating agony.

Jesse slowly looked to the source. And then to Gabe.

Gabriel ignored his very obvious stare. At least, he managed to do so for the first several minutes. He cleared his throat audibly even if he didn't need to, and finally broke.

"It is a nesting call of a cluster-lizard."

"Wait, like..." Jesse looked at Jack with newfound fear. "Wait, like, please tell me he can't lay eggs!"

"I think you will find out."

"No, no, no, no! He's your whatever he is! You're not leaving me to deal with a cluster-lizard infestation!"

"I think you'll find a solution."

"Oh, no, I'm not going crawling through Athena's innards looking for cluster-lizards, you'll be the one doing that!"

Jack chose this moment to start on another set of 'nesting noises' rendering any further dialogue impossible, and shifted. Jesse barely avoided foot to the face. Thank gods, Gabe carried Jack off somewhere away after they docked, and left both Jesse and the Omnic head to stew in their own personal problems. At least, that's what Jesse thought until a hand with well-manicured nails on it had wrapped around his chest from behind.

Great. The cannibal woman was still alive. He forgot about her.

"I wanted to note," Moira whispered, "that we are running low on brains. That's not good. Also, what were the four of you up to now?"

"Ask him!" Jesse threw the Omnic head at her and ran for his life.

*

Two days later, Jesse just stared at Jack, who not-so-entirely down from his high yet sat at the table with one foot propped on the Omnic head, and the other swinging in front of its optic receptors.

The head either gave out disturbing kissy noises or begged to be crushed.

What actually kept Jesse focused was the pulsating with the inner light object with the circumference slightly exceeding that of the Omnic head resting on the table while Jack ate using only his fingers, as he usually did.

"Dude, like, how...?" He finally asked, eyes drifting between the egg and Jack.

"Beats me." Jack shrugged, slipping another piece of meat into his mouth. "Just woke up with it."

[lillaxtrigger]

Young Hope: Chapter 35

A chilling, but gentle breeze glides down the peak of the worlds highest mountain; brushing over the snowy white blanket that covers most of the rocky ascent. Breaking apart the very snow be two figures that dare to ascend to the very top as the chilling winds beat down on them; one of them dressed in appropriate winter white attire for the trip upwards, while the other taller of the two remains bundled in a strange furry pelt with the head of a panther covering their head from the gale. While these winds prove no match for the taller’s panther pelt, they run strong enough to blow off the seconds winter white hood; his indigo blue hair flapping in the breeze as he shivers from the utter cold. “M-Mall, you sure that r-radar of yours says that the second search nod is s-somewhere around this mountain?” the blue boy questions his taller partner. “The radar never lies, my young ward. It has pinpointed the location of our second nod to be within these very icy peaks.” “W-why the heck did they have to hide it s-somewhere so cold and breezy? All these winds are practically making my nipples poke through the inside of my coat. All the chilling winds make ya wonder why they wanted the Kybr gone enough to stow one of the nods away somewhere so cold. You think you might know what they were rounded up for?”

“...All of us were gathered to this very planet upon hearing the outcry of one of our fellow kin; one whose chilling call echoed out to every corner of this universe. It is thanks to that lone Kybr that most of our own kind are now gone.” he explains to the boy, his demeanor growing more snarled as he speaks. “Hey now, this guys yer talking about must’ve been in a pretty desperate spot to call everyone. I’m sure he didn’t mean to get everyone caught.” Speaking this very claim causes a pulse of pure space to emit out from the cosmic angel and push back all that was near; the snow underneath his feet, the winds blowing passed him, even the indigo angel that stood behind him knocked over onto his back.

Pulling himself out from the blanket of pure white powder, Tore hears his spacial mentor calm himself with a deep breath; Mall glancing back to the boy as he gets back on his feet to answer how: “Yabahoth had been simply feigning his capture.” “So this guy betrayed all of you?” “Indeed he did. The very Kybr that had selflessly aided humanity into ascending alongside us had sown the seeds of their very imprisonment. After he had aided the so called rulers and gods of this universe in casting us aside this very plane of existence, Yabahoth parted with one of the nods of the warp gate to the unknown; assuming to have fled to the deepest depths of this very planet. Alas, it seems that he had the thought to conceal the search nod within the very mountain where the humans had ascended to our ranks. What do people call this stinging feeling, rubbing salt in the wound? Yabahoth was always amused by poetic irony.” “Well, now that its down here, all we gotta do is punch through this mountain til we dig up the nod.” Tore suggest. “Pretty straightforward, if not ill advised. The nods that we had constructed are tough, but nowhere near indestructible. Simply tearing through this entire mountain so carelessly like a mindless brute could end up destroying the nod. We need to practice caution here if we wish to retrieve the nod in one piece.” As the duo resume their rising trip up towards the peak of the mountaintop, the clouds above them begin to darken; partially covering the bright rays of the sun hanging overhead.

As the two angels continue to brave up through the rising snowy ascent, the blue boy can’t help but gaze up as flakes of snow start to gently flutter down around them; Tore noticing the clouds growing darker then when they first started to climb. “Ehh, Mall. I think that a blizzard might be approaching. Think we might have to find a cave to hide in before it slams down on top of us.” he warns his cosmic teacher. “Hm, perhapes that might be best. Yabahoth would be smart enough to hide the nod somewhere inside the mountain rather then have it exposed out here in the open.” “Hey uh, while we’re on him. You think we might run into this Yabahoth guy while were looking through here?” “Hmm, I’m honestly not too sure. Yabahoth had a strange relationship with the solid matter of their universe; if he had the closest thing to describe the guy, he would most likely compare him to what humans would call a guru of sorts. The Kybr was known for understanding and knowing the very inner history and feelings of a planet itself, so much so that he was well known for communicating with its very matter; even when it had no life to give. And as such, Yabahoth could be concealing himself anywhere among the universe; hidden within the soil of whatever sort of earthly material he held dominion over.”

Midst to his mentor explain all of this, Tore suddenly feels something clutch at his ankle and stop him dead in his tracks; the young angel peers down his leg to find a limb of pure white snow hugging his calf. When jerking and tugging his held leg in all different directions, the icy arm refuses to release the boy for even a single moment; Tore feeling its cold touch underneath his pants the longer it holds onto him. Finally fed up with the frosty arms attachment issues, the blue angel finally hammers his fist down upon the limb and shatters the ice to pieces; falling into the snow upon finally being freed from its grasp. Turning back to his blue ward, Mall watches as the boy rises out from the white powder and questions: “What are you doing, boy?” “Ah...I don’t think were alone out here.”

Breaching the very snow that surrounds them both be several figures icy pieces taking the shape of numerous animals and humanoid figures; all of them continuing to rise out from the snow to reveal themselves melded together by a long amalgamation of stranding frost. Gazing all around to the ice line of creatures that encircle them, the two glare up to the very end of the line of ice and witness the head of a giant serpent baring its fangs as it stares down upon them. The icy predator delves its head down towards the two angels between its length, both Mall and Tore taking off away from the head before it could hammer down onto them; the two feeling the chilling mountain winds brush against them as the hover in the air. “What even is that thing!?” Tore questions as he sees the giant serpent rise from the snow. “Whatever it may be, it shall not stand before us much longer.” he proclaims as the snake prepares to lunge out to them. Moments before the frosty serpent could bite its icicle fangs into the cosmic angel, Mall commands the space around its neck to tighten with his bare hands; trapping the snake within his spacial stranglehold. While keeping the chilling serpent trapped within the palms of space, he begins to pull its very neck apart; the snakes whole length crumbling and breaking from the sheer spacial force until he shatters their foe’s very body. The snakes shards scatter down onto the snow as both the angels lower down and land; Tore cheering from the serpents demise with: “Alright, nice one Mall.” “Do not cheer yet, my boy. A creature of this strange origin will not be so swayed into surrendering that easily. We must still remain on our toes for whatever may be creep out from the snow behind us.”

Fresh from saying this does Tore notice something emerge out from the sheet of snow just behind his mentor; an entire cluster of frosty limbs and claws stretching out and reaching behind the cosmic angel. “Mall! Duck!” the blue angel shouts to him as he forms a ball of pale energy in the palm of his hands. Witnessing his wards readying to fire right out towards him, Mall does what his pupil warns him to do and ducks down into the snow beneath his feet; Tore finally casting out the deadly beam right to the mess of limbs that loom right over the spacial angel. The ray of light blasts the collective of ice and shatters it to pieces that scatter down alongside the raining snow.

“I-” Before the cosmic angel could speak any further, he then witnesses something breach right out from the snow underneath his pupil and launches him high up into the air; the head of a giant icy dragon splitting its head open and threatening to chomp down upon the boy. Taking off out from the powdery snow, Mall races out to the very neck of the monstrous piece of frost and rams right into its ice cold side; the cosmic angels shoulder tackle reducing the beast to shards before it could bite down upon his blue ward. Stopping himself short from flopping down into the snow, Tore turns back to his spacial teacher and says: “Thanks a bunch there, Mall. Didn’t expect them to just pop out under me like that.” “Don’t thank me yet. We’re still not out of this storm.” Peeking behind each other, both angels could find a dozen more beings of living ice and frost all rising out from the snow that surrounds them; their form jagged and sharp with numerous sharp edges as their transparent shells let them see the fleshy muscles and organs working within. Standing back to back against his mentor as they stare down the mob of ice, Tore glances back to the cosmic angel and asks him: “So, uh. You got a plan for getting us outta this, cause I sure as heck don’t?” Hearing his ward wonder such, Mall’s gaze ventures a little further up the snowy incline and discovers the mouth of a cave up ahead; responding to the boy with: “Indeed. I shall keep these chilling beasts at bay while you head up and inside the mouth of that cave over there. Once you escape, I shall find another way inside and reunite with you within the mountain.” “Em. Are you sure splitting up in giant mountainous tunnels is the best idea here? You know how many people die getting lost in those?” “You underestimate yourself Tore. I promise that you shall have nothing to worry about so long as you remain attuned to your aspect of reality. Simply let it guide you and your journey shall be without worry.” “Um, alright...”

Right as he finishes this statement of his, the frosty figures and animals that surround them all begin to lunge out to the two of them; their sharp icicles and claws ready to dig into their flesh. “Get down!” the cosmic angel demands. As his young blue ward ducks within the snow, the glittering angel starts to rapidly twirl in place as the monstrous frosty figures threaten to pounce on them both; Mall expelling out pulsing waves of space that repel the horde back. Seeing the entire armada of living ice knocked to the ground, the blue boy rises off the snow just as his cosmic mentor stops spinning; glancing to the man as he demands that he: “Now! To the cave!” Upon hearing his teachers words, the indigo angel rockets out towards the very cavernous mouth that Mall had pointed him to go; the cold winds beating against his face as he flies forth. Arising out from the powdery snow, the ice minions that had been knocked aside start to climb after the blue boy; their climb to the escaping lad thwarted when something from behind sucks them back with incredible force. Lifted right out from the snow, the horde of fierce living pieces of ice are swallowed by the miniature black hole that Mall keeps held in his hands; their figures shattering to pieces as they’re drawn into the void. “Don’t take me so lightly, you cold hearted abominations!”

While the majority of the frosty forces are devoured within the cosmic angels black hole, those that had avoided such a fate delves straight into the snow and dig their way around the black holes grasp; slipping by the incredible gravitational pull and shovel their way towards his fleeing ward. Though the cold mountainous air forces him to slow his flight, the blue boy nonetheless starts to reach out to the very cave that Mall had told him to go; able to make out the rocky insides the closer he gets to the mouth. Before he could simply glide right on in however, the snow in front of the cavern erupts out an icy tower full of harrowing faces; all of which glare to the approaching young man with a sinister glare. With but a single punch does Tore break through the frosty blockade with incredible ease; the eyes of the face glowing a shade of blue as the boy pass right above them. From underneath the ice beneath him, the teeth of these broken faces erect up and pierce themselves straight through the young boys limbs; effectively trapping Tore within their very jaws.

Seeing his young pupils just inches away from escape, Mall raises his hands up to the very peak of the mountain they stand on and grasps its very tip; suddenly jerking his palms back and causes the snow at the top to start sliding down. As this sliding snow quickly begins to turn itself into a raging avalanche, the cosmic angel leaps up right in the middle of the bellowing blizzard and lines himself up to where his pupil and the cave stand before him. By clapping his hands together does he cast out a force of pure space towards the young Kybr, breaking him right out of the walls teeth and shoving straight into the caves mouth moments before it could be covered by the approaching snow slide. His blue ward saved, Mall watches as the terrible avalanche destroys the icy wall of faces that had once trapped the blue boy; simply able to do little but await for the snow slide to stop. Tore. Just relay on the aspect that responds to you. It shall you the way.

From within the dark recesses of the cave that his cosmic mentor had launched him right into, Tore starts to recover from the tumble that he had suffered and sits on his bottom as he grasp one of the icy set of teeth that pierced his body. Taking a tight clutch of the icy teeth, the blue boy quickly uproots them from his very flesh, a sharp hiss sucking into his teeth as his wounds begin to bleed. Before any more of his blood could spill out from his leg, the indigo angel places his palm right over the red wound and expels out a warming light; uncovering the gash and healing it as good as new. Ah, wish Mall would’ve gave a bit of a warning before doing that kinda stuff. Almost got whiplash just from the launch alone. Still, sure as heck beats being buried under a literal mountain’s worth of snow. Just imagine all the spots all that cold chilling powder would creep its way into. Brrr!

Once pulling out the last of the chilling walls teeth from his limbs, Tore rises off the rocky cold floor and unfurls his bright white wings; their natural luminescence lighting the caverns tunnel that descends down before him. Least the cave Mall found didn’t lead to any dead ends; seems like this tunnel goes down quite a long ways too. He said that the nod was stowed away somewhere within this very mountain; best guess here is that it’s hidden beneath all the rock and snow and rests at the very center. Best not to worry Mall, this angel here can scout ahead and find our little search nod before ya freeze yer wings off. Thinking all of this does the blue boy start to glide down the depths of the rocky mountain tunnel; the glow from his wings illuminating the way as he proceeds downward.

Continuing down the descending rocky tunnel, the start of the young angels mountain spelunking adventure quickly comes to its very first snag; the chilling stone path before him splitting off in opposite directions. Left pondering on which of these craggy trails will lead him the right way, the blue boy thinks back to the piece of advice his cosmic mentor shared with him before they had been separated; Mall’s words echoing repeatedly in his head. Remain attuned to your aspect...What does that even mean though? Does he mean like the way that he explained how Yabahoth did with solid matter? Even then, that doesn’t say a whole lot. He did compare him to like a guru… Hey, maybe its like the way Roy senses things. Its just all in the head. In that case, it might be best to focus and try to sense which way the universe is pointing towards.

Upon this does the indigo angel calmly close his eyes and attempts to focus on this particular aspect of his; reviewing the moments where he had helped the orphan flourish and how he had given the droids back in the city their control back. Come on...Gotta be something here. Even with his thoughts solely focused on these very moments, almost nothing but the ambiance of the hollow caves are what reaches his ears; the chilling air gently wafting around him being all that he really feels in the moment. Alas, nothing relating to those events seems to give any hint on which path to take, the boy left utterly clueless as when he had first arrived. Gah, what the hell do I even do!? I know it was pretty brief, but why couldn’t Mall just try to explain it a little better than just give the whole “Trust in the force” line. Its never just simple, isn’t it? It’s always left purposely vague just to screw with people....Ya know what, screw it! Just gonna flip a coin and let lady luck decide.

Not even a single fuck given right now, Tore starts to dig through the contents of his pants pocket for anything he could flip in the air; his fingers then feeling the metal of a lone quarter deep inside his trousers. Pulling out the quarter right out, its metal feels rather warm compared to the chilling air around him as he holds it in the palm of his hands. Kay. Heads for left, tails for right. With but his thumb, the blue boy flips the coin right out of his grip and watches as it careens through the frosty cavern air; soon seeing it bounce right off the uneven rock and tumble down one of the splitting paths. Not the kinda expected results, but whatev. Simply deciding to just roll with the flow, Tore up and starts to flutter down the very tunnel that his little coin wound up tumbling down; listening to its metal ting as he continues to chase after.

Back outside the snowy peaks above, Mall endures the raging blizzards snowy winds as he glides along the mountain; tirelessly searching for another way within as the fog looming before him makes it rather difficult to see the snowy face beneath his feet. There’s far too much snow to reliably spot even the very mountain from this high; perhaps descending further down to inspect may yield some results. The spacial angel starts to flutter right down towards the mountains powdery white surface; Mall’s seeing his immediate surroundings start to clear up, but unfortunately nowhere near enough to see but only a few feet before him. No good. Seems relying on the naked eye isn’t ideal here. This snowy fog far too thick to let even a smidgen of light pass through… Well, if the light will not show the way, then perhaps the space it attempt to conceal will.

Hovering just inches off the powdery face of the snowy mountain, Mall takes in a meditative breath as he clears his mind of every thought looming within; listening past the blizzard bellowing around him and to the very space floating within. Among all of the deafening gales, the angel sends out a small bit of his own cosmic power pulsing through the cold bellowing air; the spacial power piercing straight through the running blizzard and racing along the very surface of the mountain. His cosmic pulse then finally reveals to him the mouth of a cavern not too far off from where he floats, discovering the space within stretching down within the inside of the mountain. Hmm, perfect. How appropriate to use the very same technique you’ve developed where you hid our races key of imprisonment, Yabahoth. With a way to get inside set in front of him, Mall takes off straight through the thick chilling fog and cuts right through the blizzard to reach the very mouth of the cavern. Just hang on a little long Tore. Mall’s starry wings glitter among the darkness as he continues into the descending rocky cavern.

As the blue angel continues to glide down further into the dark recesses of the cold mountain tunnels, the ice that had coated the rocks making up the tunnel begins to thicken as it reflects the pale light shining out from Tore’s wings. Even with the added visibility however, he fails to see where the little coin he had tossed down here landed among the frost. Man, its getting pretty chilly down here. Feels like the further down it is, the colder it gets. Almost feels like an actual freezer all the way down here. Feels like getting trapped in that freeze locker back in elementary school all over again; icicles forming straight in the nose and all.

Once he finally starts to see the frozen rocky ground beneath him begin to flatten out, Tore then spots something out of place among all the stone and frost; something that peeks him to flutter over and investigate. Descending down to the ground does he inspect a peculiar trail of dark violet goop running across the cavern floor; the angel lowering his nose to the goo to smell what it could possibly be. Hmm, no smell. The boy then lowers his hand over the purple slime and runs the tip of his finger right over its face, feeling its nearly rough texture slip along his tip as he gently rubs it. Feels pretty warm. Scooping up a little finger tip full of the stuff, Tore decides to put it through the final test and shoves the bit of slime right into his mouth for a little taste; the overwhelming bitter taste causing him to tremble as he spits out whatever goop he could out of his mouth. Eh! Don’t got much taste, too. Wonder what’s crawling through these caves that could be leaving behind this sort of messy slop. Only one way to find out. Tore starts to follow the goopy trail of dark violet ooze deeper into the cavernous depths, curious of what could be dwelling within these caverns that could leave such a trail.

As he continues following the trail of messy dark purple slime spread out before him, Tore’s ears start to pick up something echoing alongside the caverns crackling ice; it start to become rather clear to him for these to be a pair of voices sounding out from the tunnel ahead. That doesn’t sound like Mall...Sounds like a couple of girls. With the realization that these voices might not belong to his mentor, the indigo angel withdraws his wings to let the caves natural darkness creep back in; careful sneaking through the rest of the tunnel as he follows the sound of idle chattering. Coming out from the tunnel to a little wide cove, Tore lays right on his stomach as he approaches the very edge of the cliff he stands; the boy peeking down the edge to find the voices belonging to a pair of young girls. One of them stood dressed in a salmon pink coat while sporting a long blond bowlcut; the other seemingly on the verge of melting as her long dark brown hair drips down along with her purple coated dress.

From where the boy laid hidden, he could listen into the two of them bickering among themselves; seeing the blond starting off with: “Oh, like your slimy sorry ass has any idea where we are right now. If you knew where the hell we’re going, we’d be outta this frozen hole by now.” “Maybe we’d wouldn’t be stuck in this shitty freezer if you had seen that white lion coming at us.” the slimy girl retorts. “How the hell was I meant to see it coming!? It fell out of the damn sky! That ain’t even what got all of us split up and lost either, it was that random avalanche that came outta nowhere.” “Random my juicy sweet ass. Bet it was yo loud ass mouth that made it all fall right on top of us.” “You could at least be thanking me for finding this cave here so we all didn’t get buried and freeze to death.” “Oh great, now we get to freeze slowly as our friends are underneath piles of snow.” “How do you know they are? I’m willing to bet they went in and found their way in here like we did.”

As he simply watches the two girls bicker among themselves, the spying blue boy shuffles himself a little bit to keep his stomach from freeze on the icy ground; his moving causing a bit of icy rock to fall down onto the floor below. Once the frosty piece of rocky finally hits the ground, both of the girls immediately stop talking and glance out to the cliff above them; Tore quickly slinking back along the cliff as he covers his mouth. In the middle of remaining utterly motionless and hoping that they didn’t notice him, the cliff that he lies on suddenly crumbles apart with a resounding boom; both the blue boy and the cliff rubble slide down the face and stop right at the bottom as a couple of rocks land right on him. Pushing the rubble right off his body, he emerges out from the pile of broken cold stone to see the pair of girls face him; preparing themselves to fight the uncovered blue spy. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! I ain’t here to rumble. I was just following some weird goop trail and it lead me to you two.” he explains, putting his hands up. “Ah, I told you that would give us away.” the blonde girl claims to her gooey partner. “Well, sorry I wanted to leave something behind so the others could find us. Least I was doing something instead of just running my big fuckin mouth.”

Breaking themselves away from the subject, the two girls turn back to their big blue sky for the blonde ask him: “J-Just who the hell are you anyway?” “I could probably ask the same thing. Why are you two crawling around inside this mountain for. You guys just were going on a hiking trip with yer friends and wound up getting seperated?” “What? No, we’re-” Before the blonde could speak any further on the matter, her gooey companion covers her mouth and speaks on her behalf with: “We’re heard about a bunch of weird wildlife up and out on this side of the mountain and wanted to see if all of it was true. And lo and behold, we got our wish...with a giant ice lion dropping down on our asses.” “Ain’t much of a shock there. Figured out myself early on how the wildlife around these parts are a little less than welcoming. I wouldn’t stick around here for very long and just get back down the mountain if I were you girls.” “Wow, you figured? Cause I sure as hell ain’t risking my sweet ass for this kinda creepy bull.” the bowlcut blonde claims. “Oh, you wish you had an ass to call sweet, Gigi. That flat thing under yo back barely counts as one.” the goo girl then sneers. “At least it ain’t rancid and gross like yours is, Toxi. Your’s looks like its practically melting off at the seems.” “Uh, ladies.” Tore then cuts in with.

Upon hearing the blue boy call to them, the girls hear him out as he claims that: “Maybe I can help you two out on finding the rest of your friends; that way, y’all can climb down the mountain together.” “Oh, how sweet of you.” the slime girl sarcastically states. “If you can help us do that, then we’d been more than happy to return the favor.” the blonde offers. “Well...nah, probably shouldn’t say.” “Aw come on. Its the least we could do offering to help us out. There’s gotta be some reason why your lurking around in here, right?” the blonde adds. “Ah...I actually pretty much came here looking for something hidden inside this mountain.” Hearing the boy simply stating this very fact makes their eyes twitch for just a brief moment, the slime girl continuing their little negotiations with: “Tell ya what, you help us find our friends, we help ya find yer little mcguffin here.” “I’m not too sure. What can any of you even do to help me out on this?” the boy asks them. “One of our friends that was with us can track anything like a bloodhound. If somebody put treasure down here, then she sure as hell can trace it back.” the blonde informs. “Mmm. Alright then, you two can stick around to help me out. Just follow me closely in case of anything lurking in the shadows.” “We’ll we simply can thank you enough for your help. We’d might have been pretty dead if you hadn’t shown up.” Toxi thanks him with with hidden sliver of sarcasm. As the young angel starts his little trek through the treacherous frosty caverns; the pair of girls follow after as they head down into the tunnels; both of them quietly snickering under their breath as they approach.

Within another far off part of the maze like mountain tunnels, Mall continues to flutter deeper down into its cavernous depths; the cosmic angel continuing to echo out waves of his power through the space making up the tunnels. Its thanks to them that he takes every fork in the road and intersection without hesitation, seeing which paths lead further through the rocky cavern and which lead to impassible dead ends. Heading down one of these twisting tunnels do his ears suddenly catch something howling not too far off, further alarmed when hearing panicked screams and grunts echoing in the mix. Wait, is someone else down here? Wondering about the voice’s urgent outcry and hurry, Mall takes off down the very rocky tunnel he glides through as the rushing footsteps and cold howls guide him; the walls making up the tunnels gradually losing their rocky texture and growing more icy the further he flies forth.

Every hint of rock that was once a part of the tunnels eventually stops showing up as the walls of the cave finally turn into unfiltered ice, Mall gazing through the lower right of these new transparent walls to come to discover the very cause of the commotion. From where the cosmic angel hovers could he see what seemed to be a young strawberry blonde girl racing through the frosty caverns and away from a pursuing vicious wolf with a transparent icy shell in place of a fuzzy fur coat. The icy canine that chases after the young lady peeks the spacial man’s curiosity quite a bit, witnessing the fact that its internal organs were clearly working underneath its cold frost shell being rather fascinating. What sort of natural forces could be at work to spawn wildlife like this?

While closely observing the strange icy beasts very make up, he witnesses the young girl that it tirelessly purses suddenly slip off the chilling cold floor and fall right into her stomach; turning back with fear in her eye as the wolf leaps out to her and ready to dig its icicle claws straight into her flesh. Meager moments before the hellish frosty canine could even sink its teeth into the downed lass, Mall sticks a single hand out between both it and the young lady; effectively separating the two with but his only palm. No matter how much the frosty beast attempts to claw and bite against the barrier that he had erected, the cosmic angel keeps his hand casually steady between the two of them as he watches the strawberry blonde rise off the slippery icy floor; staring curiously at the wall of space that separates her from the wolf. “The fuck…?” he hears her utter underneath the ice. Come now young lady, just move along. Ain’t got all day to entertain your curiosity.

He starts to worry as he sees the girl stretch out a devious smile between her cheeks, growing upset as he witnesses the girl flip the dog off and jeer at it with: “Ha, suck a flaccid dick, ya shitty carved piece of piss ice! Can’t even tear through whatever the fucks keeping ya from chewing on my sweet ass with those stupid icy teeth. They ain’t even tough enough to chew through my fuckin bone. Just crawl back out from the frozen shithole that ya cam-” Oh for the cosmo’s very sake. Having just about none of the lady’s misplaced mocking, Mall jerks the back end of his hand a smidgen right to the jesting girl and knocks the girl right on her ass. “God, fine! I get the memo, alright! God damn, a girl can’t savor her lucky break, can she?” he hears her yell out as she gets back on her boots. Soon does the grumbling young girl start to venture further down the very tunnel she was sprinting towards; the wolf that was pursuing her finally giving up the chase and retreating in the opposite direction. Mall watches each of the disappear into the caverns chilling dark before finally putting his hand away, mostly staring upon the transparent wolf as it heads out for another hunt.

A piece of living ice taking the form of the common wild canine, a rather curious life form indeed; especially given how its insides seem to be complete made of mortal organs and muscles like those monstrosities from above. Could this have been your work, Yabahoth? Did you leave the search nod in the care of these living packs of ice? Could you not have stayed and guarded it yourself like you have done for this very mountain so long ago? No matter what your excuse might’ve been, the truth lies within these very beasts of you’re own making. Though you have made for them their icy shells, where you have harvested their organs be another mystery.

A deeper ways down the inside of the mountain, the cosmic angels blue pupil continues to venture down through its depths alongside a pair of strange girls; all of them soon left amazed when the tunnel they travel through trades its rocky texture in for far more smooth and oddly shaped ice crystals. “Holy shit.” Toxi utters. “Its all so pretty.” Gigi complements. “I’ll say.” Tore adds. Protruding out from the walls all around them stood dozens of icy sculptures that take the form of several people, animals and mythical creatures; all of them seemingly calm and at peace stuck among the ice. Glancing back could Tore see both girls pulling out their phones and taking several pictures of their surroundings; their flashes and clicks reflecting off the ice with each photo they take. “All this must be one heck of a find for your girls wildlife expedition, ain’t it?” the blue boy states to them. “The hell you mean, boy-” Before Toxi could continue to speak any further, feeling a swift nudge on her side given by her partner suddenly reminds her and then corrects herself with: “Ah, yeah yeah. We ain’t ever seen shit as hella nice as this.” “All this is gonna raise some serious traction on my blog!” the blonde mentions.

Its in her giddy excitement that she starts to calm down when noticing their blue guide staring to her with this rather curious glare; Gigi slightly blushing as she asks him: “You like something that ya see on me?” “Hmm...Just got this little itch in the back of my head saying that I seen ya somewhere before.” “Oh, well you got that from peeking at one of my blogs. Toxi here wishes she had as many followers as me.” “Bitch!” the goo girl exclaims. “Nah, I don’t really use social media all that much. Kinda prefer talking mono e mono to be honest.” the blue boy admits. “Well, I’m sure that one of you’re friends had to have mentioned me at some point.” “Eh, not really. I feel like I’ve literally seen you somewhere in person before. Face to face.” “Well, if it wasn’t online, then I can’t tell you where you might’ve seen me.” “...I guess so. Might’ve just been nothing much then.”

Continuing through the icy tunnel, the trio eventually reach the very end of their trail to discover another wondrous site that sprawls out before them all. Standing spread to them do they find an entire forest made from frosty stalagmites given the odd familiar shape of oak tree’s, all with their very tops splintering off and given a coat of frosty leaves to decorate their crown. Running along the very bottom bloomed flora and fauna of glistening ice, taking the shape of numerous familiar flowers and bushes. Admiring the scenery presented to them, Toxi slithers over to one of the rising tree’s to brush the palm of her hand against its icy surface; the very texture of the tree uncannily resembling the bark of an actual oak. “Weird shit right here.” Kneeling down to the flowers planted along the frosty ground, Gigi reaches right down and breaks a single ice blue rose right off their stem; putting its head right up to her nose and taking in the aroma coming out and remarking how: “It’s like an actual rose.” “Hey, come check this out.” they then hear their indigo guide suggests.

Glancing over to their blue guide do they seem him ducking right underneath a frosty shrub and staring out to what lies on the other side; the two girls sneaking over to his side to share in the view and soon behold what the young indigo boy sees. All of them are left dazzled when seeing a lone deer wandering through the frosty forest, its very flesh made from the same ice that coats the trees and protect the functioning organs held within its body; the bucks horns in the shape of upside down icicles. “What even is it?” Toxi whispers. “Its so gorgeous.” Tore answers. “Just need one pic.” Gigi claims as she start to slip her phone out. Just before the blonde could snap a good pic of the dainty deer standing within view, the icy bush they hide within suddenly sounds crackles beneath them; the audible crack drawing the frosty animals attention right to the trio. As soon as the deer sees them move an inch, it prances off into the icy horizon never to be seen again. While rising out from behind the brush, Gigi lets out a frustrated groan and shouts: “Nice going Toxi! Its thanks to your melting fat ass sitting on the bush that it heard us and took off.” “My ass? Your’s was clearly sitting on the bush. You bitch betta look where ya sit before ya up and throw shit at me.” Upon hearing the two girls start going at each other once again, their blue guide before them can’t help but let out an exhausted breath; dreading how long he’ll have to put up with it this time. Jeez, this again, feels like the third time they’re screaming each other in the last half hour; hard to believe they’d stuck around each other long enough to make up a wildlife discovery team. Those friends of theirs must have some hell of a time keeping them from gouging each other’s eyes out.

While attempting to block out the girls constant bickering from behind, the blue boy drifts his eyes over to a set of icy shrubs along the wayside; staring right at them when watching those very bushes shake and shiver. “Uh, girls...I think were not alone out here.” Hearing their guide comment this, both young ladies look away from one another and gaze out in the very same direction; Toxi going: “What the hell are you on about no-” Peering out to the very same bushes, all three of them witness a massive ursa made of dense frost sporting sharp icicles along its back suddenly charge right out from the shrubs; both girls shrieking upon the very site as the monstrous beast approaches. Before the fierce frosty bear could attack, the blue boy in front of the two girls unfurls his wings before their very eyes and dash forth towards the oncoming ursa; the icy woods surrounding them reflecting his wings light as he charges. With nothing but a single shoulder tackle, Tore sends the deadly ice beast hurdling back towards one of the icy oak; bears entire body slamming right into the base of the tree and causing the entire forest to quake from the impact. The pair of young ladies stare right at their blue guide as he stands facing the frosty ursa as it rises right off the frosted grassy ground; Gigi taking it upon herself to take a little pic of the indigo angel as he faces the beast. Hearing the camera go off, Tore turns back to the two girls and demands for them to: “Don’t just stand there! Find somewhere to hide!” “But what about you?” the blonde wonders. “Ain’t gotta worry about me. I can deal with this overgrown ice cube solo. Shouldn’t be that much different from fighting a real bear.” The two girls comply with the blue angels demands and back away towards the frosty oak tree’s standing behind them; both of them peeking out and watching as their guide looks back to the beast as it gallops right back at him.

This ain’t gonna wind up like last time; this time, this piece of ice is gonna end up turning into ice cubes once were done here. Once close enough to the young angel does the frosty ursa swipes its ice cold claws right at him; Tore slipping right around the monstrous piece of frosts sharp paws to its left, then driving his foot right into its ice cold side hard enough to send it sliding along the icy grass. The beast drives both of its frosty claws right into the ground as it continues to slide back, slowing itself down to a crawling stop before it could slam right into another icy oak tree. Once stopping itself from taking another chilling crash, the icy ursa tries its luck in charging right at the winged young man once again; opening its maw to bare its frosty fangs as it lunges outward. Before the dastardly beast could chomp down on a single part of the boy’s body, Tore grasps its mouth before it could clamp down on his shoulder; pushing the ursa away as he keeps its maw wide open. While keeping his grip on the beasts open maw, Tore lifts the giant icy bear overhead and tosses the beastly frost back to the set of tree’s behind him; the sheer weight of the bear breaking apart the tree’s into ice shard. Looking back to where he had tossed away the heavy piece of living ice, the indigo angel gaze around the remains of the solid cold tree’s to find little sign of the ghastly beast anywhere in site; failing to see even a little bit of the beast no matter which way he peeks. Where did it go?

While keeping hidden behind one of frosty oak tree’s set along the wayside, Gigi takes a little peek out to the ensuing battle to see her blue guide left looking everywhere for their frosty predator; her eyes widening when wandering up to find the monstrous piece of frost climbing right to the top of one of the neighboring tree’s. Left realizing how the beastly bear was planning to take down their blue boy, the blonde quickly starts to dig through her coat pockets; grunting and muttering to herself how: “Come on, I know I brought it with me.” Hearing her partner mumble to herself, Toxi looks over to the blonde and watches her pull out a single frilly pom pom right out of her pocket; a smile cracking between Gigi’s cheeks as the slime girl berates her with: “Bitch, you serious here? This sure as hell ain’t the time to practice your gym routing.” “Just shut up and watch.” the blonde tells her as she once again peeks out from behind the tree. Gigi gazes back up towards the tree line to find the chilling ice bear having climb to the very top of the tree and hanging right above their angelic escort, soon watching it leap right off the top and descend down towards the blue boy with its spiky back facing the ground. As the beastly piece of ice plummets down towards the young man, the blonde girl lobs her pom pom out to where the dropping ursa will be; its frills flapping in the air as it careens through the air.

Moments before the frosty bear could pierce its spikes straight down upon the unsuspecting angel, the seemingly harmless pom pom hits the beasts icy shell and explodes in an inferno of flames; Tore gazing up to the fiery explosion above him as the blast sends the ursa hurdling back. Crashing back down onto the ground, the strands that had blown off from the blast shatter all over the icy forests; the frosty bear flailing about as some of them remain stuck along the beasts icy shell. While watching his frosty foe struggle in shaking the flaming frill off its icy skin, Gigi comes out from behind the ice oak and wanders over to her blue guides side as she claims how: “That right there is a little weapon that I had been working off for quiet a while; and what better to test it on than a bear made of ice. I got the idea from watching people throw molatov’s at a DMV once, thought the flaming strands would be a nice little touch.” “Whoa, that’s so hella cool!” Tore exclaims. “Eh, shit ain’t all that.” Toxi mutters.

Despite some fiery strands of the pom pom remaining stuck on its frosty flesh, the icy ursa persists on continuing to pursue its prey and takes another chance to recklessly charge straight towards the two. Tore quickly grabs the girl beside him as he takes off out of the rushing beasts ramming charge, holding the blonde his arm as he casts forth a beam of power right towards the monstrous piece of ice; the ray of white light strikes the beastly bear right upon the side of its head. While the ferocious frosty beast reels back from the ensuing blast to its face, the slime girl takes the chance to dash out from one of the icy oak tree’s and race right behind the bear as it backs away; Toxi splatters down a glob of her own goo out behind where the bear backs away as she races past. As soon as the solid cold ursa steps right onto the goo girl’s slippery slime, it trips right off its feet and stumbles right onto its back; the spikes along its backside piercing through the icy grass ground and leaving the bears defenseless stomach exposed. “Finish this frosty piece of shit!” Toxi shouts to their blue guide. Hearing her claiming for it to be his moment to strike, Tore puts the blonde back down on her own two feet and then rockets high into the chilling mountain air; soon bombing down towards the helpless ice ursa as it struggle to free itself. Descending right down, the blue angel hammers his fist right down into the upside down beasts smooth stomach and shatters its entire icy shell with but a single blow; both girls retreating away as the monstrous piece of ice’s guts and frosty chunks fly everywhere.

After the shower of ice shards and gut chunks was all over, the pair of young ladies peek out from behind the frosty oak tree’s to find their angelic escort standing right in the middle of the monsters splattered remains; with chunks of its organs dangling around his body. Tore shakes off all the bears gooey guts right off him and scatters them along the red stained ice beneath his feet; both Toxi and Gigi approaching after the boy is finished getting the rest of the bear off him. “Phew, man all that was fun. Seriously took me back to when my grandma flung Roy and I right in the woods to survive for about a month. Bear meat just tastes more succulent than deer or rabbit after beating them down.” the blue angel expresses. “Aight, first thing to get outta the way. What the hell are you!?” Toxi questions. “Are you some kind of angel?” Gigi asks with stars in her eyes. “Well see, I...I’m...Huh, I don’t really know what I am to be honest. Guess that’s why I’m here at this mountain to find out.”

Once gotten that little skirmish behind them, the trio look out to the rest of the woods left sprawling out before them, Toxi asking aloud: “So where the hell we go now.” “Doesn’t look like we can see much down here. I know, how bout you two get on my back and I’ll rocket over all this. Bet we could definitely find something up in the air.” the blue angel suggests as he presents his back to the two ladies. The two of them glare upon back of the boys coat in disgust as some stains and gut chunks were still left littering its fabric, the slime girl simply tell him: “Yeah, screw that shit.” “I think it might be a better idea to go on foot. We might miss something all the way up in the air like that.” Gigi politely explains. “You two sure?” “Positive!” they both enforce. “Alright, guess we should get moving then.” Upon this do the three of them continue their way throughout the icy oak forest, Tore following as both the girls take the lead on ahead; all of them remaining alert to what could popping from the woods at them next.

Within another part of the cavernous icy mountain, the cosmic angel ascends right up from a hole left along the cavern floor and ascends higher within the cove to witness an amazing site sprawling out in front of him. Inside the opening he hovered through, Mall could see the cavern filled with the luscious site of countless flora and fauna of pure ice spread all throughout the cove; the plants taking on numerous shapes and sizes as they stand reflecting his wings glittering glow. Among these plants could he find dozens of creatures and animals all living together, some of them surpassing regular animals and taking on the shape of creatures from folklore and legend. Is this what you’ve done after our kins imprisonment Yabahoth? What could peaked within your very soul to give these creatures another chance?

As he ponders these very thoughts, the flora thtn looms beneath him starts to gather around and rise as they all morph together; Mall turning back to find the very head of these plants forming a giant eye that stares right at him. That very same eye start to crack itself open before the angel, revealing the voracious maw hidden underneath its pupil;  the giant plant suddenly devouring the spacial man in one whole bite. Just before the icy tower of fauna could swallow its thought to be prey, its entire structure starts to be scrunched to where Mall had once flown; its icy shell cracking and breaking under the incredible pressure until finally imploding in a vacuum of space. Once easily blowing apart the icy fauna that attempted to consume him, the angel gazes down to the denizens of this icy cove as the plants remains rain down upon them; some frightened by the display of power while others run away from the showering chunks of ice. One of these chunks manages to hit what looked to be a satyr of ice right in the head, fleeing deeper down into the tunnels with parts of itself missing. This was once your dominion, Yabahoth. Many have died daring to cross and flourish within the depths of these very peaks in chasing the stories of our kin. Did you simply take pity on these perished creatures wishing to see us with their own eyes? Is that why you created this icy utopia for them to spend their remaining years? Strange. Its beginning to be a mystery if choosing humans to join us was the best choice. Humanity has seemed to have touched your very soul as well, my fellow Kybr. Perhaps these answers lie with this young ward’s own soul. Just how he will use our power to reshape this world is a mystery only he can answer.

Deeper along through the forest of pure ice, the blue angel continues to be guided the two girls by his side through its faux oak depths; curving around the dozens of frosty tree’s as their surface starts to less resemble bark and start to bend out. Eventually do they see all these tree’s morph right into walls and ceiling of another approaching tunnel, the bark swiftly replaced with the sort of icy sculptors they had bared witness to before; their form and expressions however being far more twisted and disturbing then those they’d seen last. “Geez, all these ice statues are seriously starting to freak me out here. Really makes ya wonder what kinda sicko would spend their days down here carving all of this.” the blonde comments as she glares upon their panicked and fearful expressions. “I ain’t too sure if anybody did come down here and do this. All of this doesn’t look like its man made; it might’ve just been formed by something else around here.” “Tha-that’s ridiculous! You honestly gonna stand their and tell me that all these highly detailed ice carvings and sculptures were made my something else entirely!?” “Girl, did you not see all us get done fightin a giant ass bear of ice that wanted to tear into all our asses, or were contacts too frosted up to even see all that shit go down?” Toxi jeers her with. “At least I did something substantial to actual damage during all that. All you did was just shit out a buncha gunk and goop and made it slip up.” “Bitch! I gave you the perfect moment to land the killing blow; we might be haven to still deal with that ursa’s shit if I didn’t step in.” Stopping dead in his tracks, Tore lets out an exhausted breath as the two bickering girls continue, hearing them at each others throats once more. Man, again? It took about 15 minutes for their bickering to fizzle out last time. If they keep at this every half hour, then we might never make it out of this mountain or find the nod. How the heck did these two even land jobs being wildlife researchers if they’re constantly going for the jugular at each other every chance they get? Hopefully their friends can manage to take their reigns when we find them.

Glancing back towards the two of them, he finds them not even noticing the sculptures around them melding together right into one another; their figures coming together until it was all that made up the walls and ceiling of the ice cavern. Countless limb, people, and animals, all forming together into one as their fearful expressions start to disappear; beginning to calm as their finally merge with one another in unison. Taking a look back towards the bickering girls however causes him to form his own panicked face as he takes off after them; both Toxi and Gigi stopping their argument when their guide swiftly grasping both of their coat collars and lifts them right off their feet. As the pair of young ladies struggle to get out of the blue angels grip, Gigi is the first to cry out: “Ah, what’s the big deal!?” “Yeah, the hell is your problem man!?” Toxi demands to know. “So, did you two not see the big hole you guys were not about to fall down?” he then questions them. “What are you-” the blonde says before she glances under her. Beneath their very feet do the two girls then realizes the massive hole their blue guide had mentioned being just another step away; neither of them able to even seem the bottom among its endless dark abyss.

Tore finally lets the two of them back down on the ground and lets them back away from the massive icy hole they nearly plummeted down into; the blue angel starting to chuckle upon seeing their realized glares. Their fearful gazes quickly turn sour as they glare out to their laughing blue guide, Toxi yelling at him with: “The fuck is wrong with you, boy!?” “Yeah, you find the fact we almost fell to our deaths funny!?” Gigi then joins in. “Ha ha ha, no no. I...It’s that…both of you are just so caught up with each other that neither of you even realizes what’s happening around you. I mean just look.” Their angelic escort suggesting such, the two gaze up through the walls and ceiling to discover the very same mystifying site he had seen before; all the people and animals on the walls melding together until coming to make up the walls alone. Midst admiring these nearly missed site that sprawled out before them, they hear Tore continue to tell them out: “Both of you might never see anything like this again, but you two are so caught up with eachother that you almost missed what was happening around you...I guess it’s kinda sweet in some strange way.”

Right as the two of them were beginning to appreciate the bizarre, but magical pieces of icy art that stood before them, a loud and trembling roar resounds right off these very walls; breaking their site towards the chilling caverns ahead as something stomps its way out. While the two girls lightly tremble from the quaking stomps, Tore takes his stance in front of them and prepares for a fight as they all face the tunnel ahead of them; gazing out as they watch a massive figures start to emerge out from the shadows. Lumbering out from the dark depths of the cavern tunnel be a massive frosty ogre, its icy shell protecting the numerous muscles and organs working within its chilling body. The three remain utterly still as the giant stares down upon them with its icy cold glowing eyes; its gaze piercing through their bodies as the trio await for the behemoth to make its next move.

All of them watch carefully as the towering giant finally starts to move its icy body once more; the living ice clasping its hands together alongside moving its legs to make what seemed to them all to be a strange pose, the trio left utterly confused wondering what the giant might be up to doing this. Breaking out from this odd pose does the giant shift its body once more, making another stance to show up the bulk of its icy body; both Toxi and Gigi remaining confused as the slime girl wanders aloud: “What the hell is this giant motherfuckers deal here?” Tore’s eyes then widen upon seeing the behemoths pose before them all and claims that: “I know what it is.” “You think you know what this frosty son of a bitch might want from us?” Gigi asks him. “Yeah, it wants a challenge...a challenge of the body!” Proclaiming this to the two girls behind him does he wholeheartedly accept the frosty giants proposal by strips himself of his white coat and exposing his skinny, yet mildly built body to the open cold. The two girls seem utterly baffled at the sequence of events playing out before them, Tore discarded coat landing right over Gigi’s head as Toxi questions him: “You fuckin serious on us here?”

With his bare chest left exposed to the elements, the blue boy faces the flexing giant before him and decides to return the site with his own stretched pose; the ogre before him left shocked when witnessing his muscles bulk out from his very form. Responding to the young boys poise, the ice giant shifts its own body to take on a more towering and aggressive position; as if showing off how tall and empowering its own icy body stands over the small boy’s own. Tore responds to the giant towering form by lowering himself to the cold chilling ground, closing his arms against his chest as he scowls up to the giants own eyes; giving the impression that he’s ready to scale the overwhelming height of the behemoth. Though the giant reacts with silent shock once more, it refuses to quit with just this and reforms its pose to have its entire frosty body stretching out before the boy; showing how wide of a challenge it really is. Tore nonetheless does the same and flexes out his own body as wide as he possibly can to match the ogre’s own stature; the giant seeing the young blue boy straining his own body to attempt and match up with its own stature. The towering piece of living ice then breaks away from this widening pose and simply shifts to another; its poise this time presented in a far more flashy way. Tore meets the giants expectations with his own sort of extravagant and stylish.

Left standing along the wayside of this entire flexing show, Gigi and Toxi continue to stare on as both their blue guide and the frost giant continue to flex against one another; Tore’s expression growing more determined and fierce with each pose he takes. The blonde girl drags the blue boy’s white coat and can’t help but stare upon on the owners bare chest; her face growing more and more blushed and red the more she stares right at the boy’s body. Finally does Tore and the giant finish their posing competition with by mirroring each others stances; the two perfectly mimicking each others stances; each detail of their bodily movement being copied by the other as if they were themselves a mirror to the other. While Toxi remains utterly dumbfounded by the strange display, her blonde partner finally falls over from the overwhelming site set before her; the slime girl staring to them as the monster and the boy bow to one another to conclude their competition.

With the two competitors splitting off in their own separate directions, Tore wonders back over to the girls side as he hears Toxi questions: “What the fuck was all that about!?” “That, my slimy friend, was the sort of fight that the giant wanted. A test of the spirit expressed through the body! Hang on a sec, where’d Gigi go?” Seeing the goo girl point down to the cavern ground beneath their feet, the blue boy finds the blonde girl having passed out on the floor with his coat in her hands; Tore lowering himself down to pick her right off the chilling ice floor. “Is she okay?” “Yeah, the bitch is just fine.”

From her short little nap, Gigi starts to open her eyes once more back to reality and finds her young blue guide staring right down to her with a warming smile; hearing him mention how: “Oh, thank goodness. Glad to see you okay.” The blondes eyes start to wander down from the boys face and are quickly glued to the boys bare chest in front of her; the tone of his abs mixing with his sort of rough, but tempered skin quickly causing the girls face to redden once more. The girls breath grows more and more panicked and anxious until she finally passes out in the young man’s arms; Tore panicking as Gigi lays utterly limp in his arms as he asks: “Ah! She passed out again! Wh-what should I do? Should I pump her stomach, give her chicken soup. I think my health teacher told to do CPR on something like this.” “You go anywhere near her mouth and Imma melt yours right off.” “Oh, wait a sec. Duh, of course.” he finally states as he starts to gently set the young woman in his arms down upon the cold hard ground.

Just before the frosty behemoth could lumber back into the shadows whence it came, a strange new light suddenly illuminates out from behind it and dispels this very vial of darkness; the giant peering over to the light reflecting off the surrounding ice and discovering the source of the glow. It stares back alarmed when witnessing the very same boy it had just finished its great pose off with suddenly bring out a pair of bright graceful angelic wings; watching as this almost rainbow glow crawls off the boy and slithers throughout the girl lying upon the icy floor.

The very colorful light that had crawled along Gigi’s very body starts to vanish beneath her flesh just as she starts to reawaken from her short lived nap; shaking off any sort of dizzying feeling left behind as she looks to both Toxi and Tore to ask them: “Wha...what happened?” “Your weak flat ass just slammed down onto the ice as you passed out.” the slime girl gleefully fills her in with. “Ah! You just passed out for a sec was all, we’re both glad to see you up and okay. You had us really-” Tore suddenly cuts in as he slowly starts to move to the blonde. Before the boy could take another step closer to, Gigi tosses his white coat right back in his face; adverting her eyes in a red fluster as she demand him to: “Ju-just put your coat back on, please.” “Oh yeah. Thanks for holding onto it for me, Gig. Practically below zero down here, feels like the stinging cold is making my nipples hard as diamond.” “Bitch…shut the fuck up.” Toxi tells him as the boy starts to slip his coat back on. Donning his coat once more, Tore crosses his arms as he takes back the welcoming warmth along his upper body; letting out a little sigh as he claims that to be: “Much better here.” Its in his moment of returning comfort that he feels something looming over him and the others; Gigi and Toxi peeking out as Tore gazes behind to discover the very same icy ogre that he had just finished posing with, its piercing icy blue eyes staring down upon them all. “Uh, what do you think it wants now!” the blonde questions their angelic guide. “Don’t know. Maybe its wanting to show us the way outt-”

Right outta nowhere does the giant icy behemoth slug the boy with a solid cold powerful punch, one strong enough to send Tore careening straight into the cold walls of the cave; some of the sculptures that make up the walls cracking and crumble upon the harsh impact. Both Toxi and Gigi scramble away from the enraged giant as their blue guide falls back down onto the chilling cavern ground; the angel hopping back on his feet and shaking off the unexpected blow to glance up and find the behemoth racing right out to him with rage in his glowing blue eyes. Guessin it wants a real fight this time. Well, if that’s it; better not disappoint.

Attempting to meet the rushing giant halfway, the indigo angel takes off towards his icy foe just as he witnesses the living ice ready to swing out to the boy once more; Tore strafes right out of the giants punch before it could hammer its fist down upon him. An opportunity to strike back set up before him, the blue boy lunges right up to the frosty ogre’s side and drives his fist right into its lower torso; the behemoth staggering away from him as it covers where it had been struck. As soon as the ogre stops stumbling back, it uncovers the side its blue angelic foe had hit him at and reveals their being only a single short hair of a crack left on its chill shell; the indigo angel left astonished upon having done so little damage. Whoa! It didn’t even leave so much as a dent. Maybe its time to stop goofing around and take this a little seriously.

A little more determination running through him, Tore once again rockets right towards the icy ogre and prepares a kick right to the very side he had punch moments ago; soon swing his leg out to the behemoths lower torso when in range. Moments before his foot could strike the frosty giants side, the behemoth suddenly steps off to the side to evade the angels kick. This guy’s pretty nimble for how big it is. Towering right over the young man, the chilling giant clasps his hands together and hammers them both down upon its angelic foe; the blue boy quickly turning and holding his hands out before its fists could slam down upon him. The beastly behemoth hammers both of its fist down onto the bright blue boy and right into the solid cold ground underneath him; the pair of girls watching from the side keeping their footing as the blow causes the entire cave to quake. Even when being beaten down upon the icy cold ground at full force, Tore withstands the giants hammering assault and holds its arms back from crushing him on the spot. This guys icy shell might be tough, but his strength sure ain’t. As long as were careful, we might just make it out of this. Just need to where down its shell until it breaks.

A plan set in his head, the indigo angel pushes his frosty foe back hard enough to send it sliding along to the other side of the cavern; Tore leaping right off the icy ground as the palms of his hands start to let out a pale glow. Better play it smart and not even get near him. From the very palms of his glowing hands, the blue angel tosses out an orb of pale power right towards the lumbering icy giant; the behemoth refusing to move even an inch despite the ball quickly careening its way. But rather than blowing up right on contact, the blue boy’s pale sphere simply ricochets right off the ogre’s icy transparent shell and heads over to the life like carvings set along the ceiling; the blast bouncing all through the entire cove in its uncontrollable flight. Both of the girls watch their blue guides pale sphere zip through the cave and soon find it flying in their direction; Toxi and Gigi hitting the deck before the ball could hit either of them. “Watch where the hell you firing that, ya jackass!” the slime girl yells at him.

During its little trip around the icy cove, the bouncing ball of pure white starts careening back towards the very giant it had been aimed at; the ogre taking the opportunity to put its arm up towards the back in a particular angle. The angel that it had set causes the orb to ricochet right off its arm and directly on a swift crash course right back to its sender; the best that Tore could do was cross his arms to attempt and block his own speeding blast. The resulting explosion sends the indigo angel back towards the very edge of the icy cove, where he slams right into the very face of a giant carved horned beast; the impact reducing the sculpture to meager icy shards. Right, ain’t trying that again. Guess the only way this is going down is up close and personal. And from how this guys shell took a punch; this little war of attrition might just take a little while.

Out along another part of this giant mountainous ice maze, Mall continues to flutter through the frosty cave as the echoes of space he exudes guide him through its winding tunnels; taking the paths that stretch out through the rest of the nexus as he remains determined to reunite with his blue ward. Tore must be doing well for himself if this is what this mountain all has to offer. So far, what the inside of this place is hasn’t offered much resistance in our short little visit. Of course, maybe it wasn’t really prepared for encountering us; most of this this mountains creatures were too frightened to put up any resistance. Nowhere near powerful enough to guard the search nod. Did you figure that all of us were really gone, Yabahoth? Wherever you may be now residing within this very reality, surely you have left the nod in better care than this, have you? Or was that what lead you to form this very mountain the way you have? Upon the very next moments do his spacial waves detect a presence strolling his way, the very shape that the waves hint him to suggesting that it could be human of sorts. Another one. How many others are wondering within these cavern?

Through the chilling caverns ahead does a lone light pierce through the shadowy void, the glow growing as whoever holds the source continues to move forth; the light reflects off the icy walls of the tunnel to reveal a lone tall man with odd baby blue skin holding out a phone whose flashlight shows him the way. While shivering from the constant cold of the mountains insides, he lets out an irritated growl as he grits his teeth; cursing aloud to himself with: “Fucking god dammit! Why the hell did those alpha team bastards haveta send me and the other girls out to this frozen hellhole, all just to look for something they’re not even sure is real. Why the hell couldn’t they just send the B team to investigate rather than sending me to babysit the girls; be hellava lot more effective and quick then not having all of us wind up getting lost, its what I told them. But no, they insisted. “Oh quit acting like so lazy and slack, Charles, its just a simple investigation around the mountain; it shouldn’t be that much trouble for you.” Guess what Drake, sure as hell is for one guy have to watch a buncha teenage brats. ...Ah, honestly, what I wouldn’t give just to have a steaming cup of hot cocoa and just sit by the fire. That’d be nice about now.”

Before the baby blue man could wander any further within the icy cave, he start to notice something within the reflections of the frosty carved sculptures that loomed around him; Charles slowly walking over to one of these statues to find what seemed to be a winged figure fluttering within the ice. Gazing at all of the icy figures that are trapped within walls and ceiling does he see the image of the very same man within their reflective surface; the blue man backing out to the center of the tunnel as watches all of them wriggle and squirm. “I am serious not in the mood for this right now!” Its then does he witness all of the reflections of the figures suddenly fly out from the ice set around him and begin to gather in a single spot before the tall blue man; all of them forming together in a flash of stars to form the cosmic angel himself, his starry wings glittering along the frost he had emerged from.

Mall gazes upon the pale blue man standing before him to find his eyes filled with fright, his legs inching away from him suggesting the need to sprint in the other direction just from the spacial angels appearance alone. “Be not afraid. If you simply answer my questions, then I promise that I shall not harm you.” he claims to the man. Hearing the strange man say this to him seems to ease Charles a fair bit; his frightened gaze shifting more towards skeptic curiosity. “So, the hell are you then, some kind of angel?” the pale blue man finally responds to him with. “I suppose its what you humans refer to us as? Might I ask what prey tell is someone like you doing out here within such a bitter cold mountain? Your skin seems to be turning pale blue at the seems.” “Believe me buddy, I sure as hell ain’t eager to spend another minute in this frosty natural freezer. I was pretty much forced down here to try and look for something they say is in this mountain. Like god know what they think is buried underneath this frozen over hellhole.”

The blue man’s statement on being sent to look for what is within this mountain causes the cosmic angel to twitch a little; playing it completely cool as the cave both of them reside within when saying to him: “I assure you that whatever they had sent you to look for is nowhere to be found in here; this mountain is only home to a collection of strange creatures made of solid living ice. Other than that, there is nothing for you to find here. I suggest you climb back down the mountain before you freeze to death.” “Believe me, man. As much as I’d love to get down and back to my cozy warm computer chair before my testicles turn a deeper shade of blue, I can’t really go without finding any of-” “Those girls you brought along your expedition? Seems rather irresponsible for a man of your age to bring them somewhere like this of all place.” “You think I’d actually choose to be responsible for all them? All those burdening prepubescent bitching hell spawn were just thrust upon me without a single care.” Charles objects. “Hmm. Nonetheless, I suppose it shouldn’t be to hard to track them all of them if they’re still inside here.” “Uh, how the hell you plan on doing that?” Upon being asked this does the cosmic angel then clasp his hands and closes his eyes, waves of his own spacial being echoing out from his body during this meditation; Charles can’t help but quake as these invisible waves of pure space phase through his entire body and travel out along the tunnels that stand behind him.

His very waves all stretch throughout almost the entire nexus of the mountains inside, echoing along every single small nook and cranny that makes up its tunnels; the cosmic angel discovering countless living beings all dwelling underneath its very rock and snow. From these waves does he discover several other numerous people all venturing through the mountain: A pair of red headed children, a boy and a girl, balancing along a thin icy path. A girl skating along the top of transparent icy slides while pursuing the girl he had saved from the fangs of the icy wolf earlier. A lone woman with green flaming hair traveling through the caverns. And at last does he discover where his young ward had wound up within this very mountain, fighting off what seemed to be a giant while two girls watch from the side lines.

Once sussing out all of these people that travel through the mountain, Mall takes in a tranquil breath before opening his eyes and stating to the man standing before him that: “Right, I have seen where the children you have lost reside in this mountain.” “You seriously did that just closing yer eyes and praying?” Charles questions. “Indeed. And rest assured that I will not stop until every one of these children are back in your very care. All I ask of you is to let me escort you back down the mountain and wait at the bottom where I shall bring them to you.” “He he he he...Ya know, as ideal as your making this all sound, I don’t think I can really buy it all for even a second. I mean really, do you think I’m dumb enough to just blindly believe some angelical ass in a panther’s pelt that just popped out from the ice?” Saying this little rhetorical question, the pale blue man starts to stroll past the starry angel while continuing with: “Thanks but no thanks, man. Think I’d rather find them myself then believe whatever you’re spitting at me.” Among his smug denial for the angels assistance, Charles suddenly feels himself smack into what felt like a solid wall, looking in front of him to find nothing but the rest of the cavern stretching out before him. The baby blue man puts his hand up to the air in front of him to find the entire space having solidified, running his fingers along the surface of this space as if it was a solid wall of the hardest steel. “What the...” “I implore you to reconsider.” he suddenly hears the angel request out of him. Glancing back to where Mall floats, he could see the cosmic angel turning towards him while continuing his little request with: “I really wish to not hurt you. But I find it in your best interest to exit these caves and head back down, whether you are willing to or not.”

Back within another part of this maze like mountains many coves, the cosmic angels blue ward continues his brawl against the enraged icy ogre; every punch and kick he could throw to the very same side that he had hit before. Yet no matter how many times Tore swings out to the behemoth, the giant blocks and evades almost every single attack he throws at it; particularly focusing on keeping its lower torso guarded from the young angel. Before the indigo angel could take another chance at the frosty giant, the ogre whacks him aside with its massive icy solid arm and sends him careening towards the cove wall; Tore landing on his feet against the wall before he could crash right upon any of the sculptures. Damn, not getting anywhere here. It might not be that strong, but its definitely smart enough to keep its weak spot guarded. Just need a way to distract it and break its stance, then that’ll be the chance to move and strike.

From the side lines, both of the young girls continue to watch as their blue guide take back off towards the hulking piece of living ice; seeing the young boy dodging his attacks while the giant evades his attempts to strike. “This don’t look like it ain’t gonna stop anytime soon.” Toxi comments. “Yeah, we might just haveta do something that’ll tip the scales in our favor. We can’t just stand here and do nothing, else we’ll be here all day.” Gigi responds. “Remember when you thought the same thing about that giant ass ice cat? The hell you plan to take on this massive motherfucker?” “We didn’t have this guy by our side back then, and he seems to be holding this icy bastard off alright.” “That’s what I’m saying girl. We can just bail and ditch him to deal with frosty asshole himself.” “That’s...I don’t think that’d be a good idea.” “What the hell you talking about?” “I’m saying we might need him in case there are any more monsters dwelling inside this mountain. We only managed to get this far cause of him.” “You sure you ain’t saying that cause yo brain short circuited over seeing his bod?” the gooey girl jests. “Fucking, no! I-...short circuit. My god, that’s it!”

Taking in the monstrous piece of ice’s solid cold kick, Tore is sent rocketing right towards the horned sculpture littered roof of the cove; some of the icicles sharp sides cutting along the sides of his jacket and scraping against his skin as he crashed upon the ceiling. He soon pulls himself out from the roof of the cave and shakes off the dizzying blow, sliding his hand against the cut part of his winter coat for any sign of blood and lets out a small breath when feeling not a hint of warm scarlet. Glance back to the giant standing beneath him, the indigo angel notices something approaching the behemoths backside; the ogre turning back to witness the blonde girl race forth. “No, stop! You’ll-” Before the blue boy could warn Gigi to stay away from the hulking piece of ice, he witnesses the blonde bound up into the air and land gracefully upon the top of the giants head; the behemoth reaching up and attempting to trap the girl within its icy cold grip. Just when the monstrous ice was ready to clasp the blonde, Gigi slips right down along its back and grabs hold of one of its massive ice arms; the young girl avoiding the giants grasp entirely as she swings along its very limb. When it once more attempts to grab the girl hanging on its arm, the blonde once again slips around its grasp and sticks to its side; Gigi sticking her tongue out to taunt the beastly ice giant. As the girl then slides around between its icy legs, Gigi continues to do a ton of fancy gymnastic shit all along its entire body; proving way too small and nimble for the frosty behemoth to catch. “Uh, wow.” Tore utters as he continues to watch the blonde lead the beastly ice astray. “Bitch just be showing off now.” Toxi quietly murmurs.

Finally leaping right away from the frosty behemoths reach, both of them see what seemed to be a long ribbon tied to the end of a handle; its strand wrapped all along the ogre’s hard icy shell. She turns the dance ribbons handle upside down to reveal the button place on the bottom, Gigi pressing this very button to cause a powerful surge of electricity to course through the entire strand wrapped around the ogre; the behemoth letting out a pained outcry as the lightning courses through its icy body. “It don’t matter how hard that icy shell of yours is, its still just frozen water at the end of the day. Even ice as thick as that is conductive.” “Oh, wow.” Tore utters as he simply stares in awe. The young angels awe suddenly shatters when hearing the slime girl call out to her with: “Hey, ya blue jackass! Stop gawking and just hit it already!” “Oh, r-right!”

The blue boy starts to curve right out towards the frosty giants very side while picking up as much speed he could muster; the indigo angel rockets out to the giants lower torso and kicks its cracked side much harder than he had done last time. Gigi lets go of her little electrical ribbon as the frosty behemoth is sent hurdling straight towards the icy coves sculpted wall; the dozens of carved figures shattering from the intense impact. Gazing right to the dazed ogre’s side, all three of them find a lot more cracks lining the giants lower torso; Tore claiming to them how: “Looks like its shell can’t take much more. We need one more powerful hit in to break through.”

While getting itself right out of the cavern wall, the frosty behemoth continues to feel the tingling shock of the ribbon wrapped around its entire body; the ogre grabbing the ribbons strands and tearing them right off. Its after tearing these ribbons right off that the beastly piece of ice starts to charge out to their very owner, Gigi preparing to evade its charging approach as it closes in on her. Once close enough to the young blonde, the behemoth thrusts its ice cold fist down towards the girl; the blonde lass leaping right over its hammering fist and vaulting right over the beasts very shoulders. When turning back to follow the young girl, the icy ogre suddenly gets a handful of dark violet slime splattered right across its face; Toxi standing before the giant and tossing her goop right into the behemoths eyes. Swiftly swiping her little ribbon handle right off the icy cavern floor, Gigi races right back towards the blinded icy golem and hugs around its left arm; wrapping what strand she had left around its limb. Landing right behind the beastly piece of ice, the blonde pulls back as hard as she possibly could to tug the icy ogre back and expose its cracked side; Gigi demanding for the angelic escort to: “Now, deal the finishing blow!” “Gotcha!” Tore once more dashes out to the frosty giant while both girls have it bound and blinded, careening over with as much speed as he could gain while ready to deliver one more punch to the golem’s side; his fist faintly glowing a myriad of colors as he prepares to strike. Thrusting his fist to the behemoths cracked side, the indigo angel breaches straight through its transparent shell of ice; the organs that had once been protected under its icy flesh left exposed to the cold air and threaten to spill out.

Once finished skidding along the icy cavern floor, Tore looks back as the girls return to his side; the blue angel left utterly astonished from seeing the beastly ice still standing after the blow, keeping its hand over its wound to its insides from spilling out. “No way. I can’t believe its still standing after that.” Gazing to the towering piece of living ice themselves, Toxi and Gigi notice it left dazed from the traumatizing blow and stumbling over to the bottomless hole left along the side of the cove. “It won’t be for very long.” Toxi proclaims as she and Gigi move out once more towards the busted icy beasts. While the slime girl slither along to the back of the golem, the nimble blonde races right towards the front of the icy behemoth; pulling out a small bit of steel from her pocket as she approaches. Despite its side literally having been blown off, the frosty ogre feebly attempts to swat away the approaching blond away with its only free arm; Gigi sliding right underneath its swing and leaps right up to the giants solid ice biceps. The blonde girl quickly scales over the frosty golem’s entire body and leaves behind the piece of steel along its ice cold chest; the device beginning to blink a bright red flash. Gigi leaps right off the giants head and starts to dash away as the little bit of steel she left behind starts blinking faster and faster; finally turning solid red and exploding in a plume of red flames. The resulting explosion causes the wounded giant to stagger back towards the hole right behind it; Toxi slipping away as she finishes lathering the ground behind the stumbling giant in her own purple slime. Finally stepping upon the dark violet puddle of goo, the hurt ogre slips right off its feet and falls down towards the bottomless hole; the pair of girls watching as the massive piece of living ice tumbles down into the pits dark’s depths.

“Ya know, all that went down not as shitty as I thought it would.” Toxi admits. “Yeah, I guessing those training lessons really are paying off after all...Course, it’s all thanks to me that it didn’t end up being as bad.” Gigi states. “The fuck you saying, girl?” “I mean if you break it all down, all you really did was just toss some of your slime around. Not as practically effective as the little invention I built using my own genius.” the blond explains while twirling what was left of her little dance ribbon. “Ah yeah, cause I’m sure you just didn’t whine to yo dad and got him to make it for ya.” Before either of them could start to argue with one another once more; their blue guide comes up from behind and embraces the two of them in his arms; lifting both of them off their feet as he goes on to claims: “That was incredible! Both of you were hella awesome! I-” Suddenly does the young angel feel an intense sharp pain between his crotch, Toxi shoving her foot right into his testies as she shout for him to: “Put us fucking down, ya god damn weirdo!” After lowering both girls back onto their feet, the indigo angel collapses onto the floor while grasping his crotch; meekly shuttering out: “Sorry...”

Putting that awful skirmish behind them, the trio continue their way through the cold frosted mountain tunnels; the sculptures that had made up the walls and ceiling start to rarely show up. In their place do all of them find dozens upon dozens of strands and veins that run underneath the clear icy tunnel they walk through; the three feeling an odd warmth as they proceed further through these veiny caverns. “Hey uh, thank a bunch for helping to deal with that giant back there, I honestly have no clue why it just attacked us like that. Still, its pretty wild what kind of training experience you two got for a couple of wildlife researchers.” the blue boy tells to the pair of girls following him. “Researchers? What are you-Ah, yeah. Well, all those moves do come in handy in with the kind of creatures were left to document. I mean you’ve seen yourself what sort of animals we have to approach just doing our job.” Gigi feeds their clueless guide. “That’s true. I guess if you inching over to the lions den, then it’d be handy to know how to turn the lions into a fine pelt before it gets the chance to nibble on your juicy thick loins.” “Bet I know which of our loins is juicier.” Toxi whispers to her partner. “Oh yeah, I’m sure all that mucus coming outta your sides would make a great sauce.” the blond whispers back.

Coming outta that little conversations to the three of them stop their trek through the icy tunnels when it takes them to a four way split intersection; the veins left within the walls branching out in every single direction. “Which way do we even go?” Toxi questions. While the two girls behind him discuss among themselves, Tore keeps staring to the veins left underneath the tunnels solid cold ice; the young boy taking a closer look to see them pumping liquid through their pipes. All these veins have to be connected to something. As the girls conversation naturally begins to sound more bitter, the blue boy puts the side of his head up against one of the walls and attempts to tune out their argument while listening to the blood flowing through the veins. It takes a little while for him to realize which way the bodily strands are delivering freshly pumped blood from; peeking out in the direction it comes from straight to the path on the right of them.

Realizing where the veins lead to, Tore turns back to the pair of arguing girls and grabs their attention with: “Hey, I think I know which way we need to go.” Stopping their bickering, the pair of young ladies glance over to their angelic escort as Gigi asks him: “Really, how?” “Its all these veins under the ice. We just gotta track where they’re pumping life from and we’ll reach the center of the mountain.” “The center of the- Are you supposed to be leading us ou-” Toxi smacks her hand over the blonds mouth to stop her from speaking another word, Gigi glaring back to her as the slime girl request the boy to: “Sound like you know what your talking about. Why don’t you lead the way.” “Roger, Miss Toxi moxy.” As the two of them watch their blue guide start strolling down along the right tunnel, the slime girl finally uncovers her partners mouth and gives the blonde a little wink before she could talk; Gigi going silent when realizing what sneaky shit her slimy friend was up too. With their motive remaining hidden, the two girls continue to follow after the young blue boy as they venture deeper into the depths of the mountain; the glow of Tore’s wings lighting their way through.

Dwelling within the very caverns above them, the indigo angel’s mentor simply keeps Charles suspended in the middle of the air; the man with baby blue skin only able to flail and struggle under Mall’s spacial grasp as he whines: “Let me go, dammit! This-this isn’t fair!” “Sir, I seriously implore you to give up your search and just simply head down the mountain. I really don’t wish to see you wind up dying like the many others that have attempted to scale it.” “Oh, oh! You think you’re really the first asshole I heard talk to me like this? I’m so fucking sick of people always just ordering me around and making me do this sort of shit; I’m so god damn done with it! I just wanna go home and hack into government sites and screw around with their data; just leave some copypasta’s on their debriefing pages to get them pissed and making them wonder which one of them put that crap on there.”

While a frustrated groan slips out from his mouth, the cosmic angel thrusts his hand out to the caverns ahead to send out another wave of his space echoing through the icy tunnel. This very wave reverberates throughout the icy nexus of the inner mountain and lets him peer out to whatever resides within its very tunnels; his spacial energy letting him discover that his pupil and the pair of girls with him trek through the very caverns beneath him and heading somewhere one of the tunnels here lead to.

Realizing this does the spacial angel crack a soft little smirk as he proclaims to his baby blue guest that: “Very well, I suppose I can let you go to find your girls yourself.” “I said I ain’t gonna let you say shit about- Wait! Are you being serious here? You kept going on about how borderline strange and dangerous this mountain is and your just gonna let me go like that? The heck’s with the change of heart from you?” “Well, I would be lying if I said it wasn’t out of pity. The fact that your so often pushed and forced to do what you clearly can’t for yourself is rather sad. Whoever you happen to work for has truly made an incredible error sending the likes of you to alongside a group of children. I’m not sure whether to be thankful or ashamed of that fact. In any case, I’ve decided to let you go.” “Well...glad to see you finally have developed some sort of common sense. Now if you can just put me down, I shall be on my way. I’m feeling rather sick just floating in the air like this.” “Oh of course. Just allow me to take the lead on what first steps you should take.” the cosmic angel offers him. With the very hand that he uses to hold Charles in place, Mall bends his finger back and flicks it in the air; this gesture causing the baby blue man to go hurdling out to the caverns ahead of them. Charles is sent flying across the tunnel of pure ice and starts to plummet straight down into a frosty pit place up ahead; Mall letting a relieved breath escape him having finally sorted out that little headache. Suppose it might be best to meet up with Tore once he is finished dealing with those two ladies that follow his lead. Though it is rather pondering what he may plan to do once those harlot's eventually stab him in the back. Will history simply repeat itself, or will can he manage to change the course of fate? What will you do to offset the course of history, my little blue pupil?

As Tore, Toxi, and Gigi keep venturing deeper and deeper down through the frosty tunnel depths, they notice the veins left stretching out under the ice growing more thick and numerous as they continue going further down; the slime girl letting out a little shutter as she admits that: “This shits really starting to freak me out here. Just seeing all this hidden underneath a regular basic bitch mountain just don’t sit right here.” “Guess that makes one of us then. I’m honestly pretty fascinated on how all this biological matter can still operate under these harsh cold conditions. By all conventional accounts, this environment seems rather impossible.” Gigi explains. “Uh, you think that might be what makes it possible.” they hear their angelic escort ask them. Peeking to what their blue guide could be referring to, they discover something that they thought they would have never laid their eyes upon. Perched upon the chamber ceiling above hanged a massive organic heart still left beating a healthy rhythm and pumping blood throughout the many veins that are rooted to its top; still spreading life throughout the mountain despite being suspended in a block of solid ice. Littering the ceiling above be dozens upon dozens of holes left along the ice; frosted veins making up their tunneling curved walls. Standing right underneath this beating heart was a massive platform of pure stone, holding what seemed to be a massive golden ring decorated in eyes and wings all along its outer rim.

While Tore starts to flutter up towards the very heart before them, the two girls behind him start to inch away; the goo girl between them whispering to her partner: “You think this giant ass ring might be the treasure HQ mentioned?” “It might just be. How are they supposed to expect us to drag something this huge outta the mountain ourselves?” Gigi whispers back. “Easy, we get the rest of the crew back here and we’ll all drag it out. Only thing we gotta worry about now is what to do with our little blue boy here.”

While fluttering all through every side of the frozen beating heart, the wondrously curious blue angel feels an odd warmth underneath the cold shell as he brushes the palm of his hand against the ice; as if he was feeling the very life of the mountain itself. Its amazing how something like this could survive within somewhere as cold as the inside of this mountain. Is that why Yabahoth thought to hid the nod in here, cause nothing else but these icy creatures could ever thrive in here? But then how did this all even form in here, all the way inside the Earth’s tallest peak? Did he create all of this to guard the nod, or could this be…

While thinking about this historical figures ultimate fate, his eyes drop down towards the pedestal holding the ring and spots something littered along the edge of its base; something that nowhere near belongs alongside the harsh frosty ice that decorates the chamber. The boy descends down to the very back of the pedestal to find what seemed to be a small withered tree branch; its aged wood left in the shape of a decayed hand pointing over to the side of the solid stone stand. Tore gently swipes the old wooden hand right off the ice cold floor and brushes his fingers along its very palm, feeling out utterly ridged and decayed its wood really was. It could very well fall apart among the most gentle of force. This thing looks like its been under here for ages now. It doesn’t look like anything else in this cave, so why is it down here? Where did you come from, little branch?

As Tore ponders of this small hands unknown origin, a colorful glow start to leak out from his own palm and seep its way into the cracks of the wooden hand; the angel watch as this strange energy fills the withered and dead bark with life once again. When the wooden hand seems to be brimming with life once again, it jerks out within the blue boy very grip and over to the very side of the pedestal; its sharp wooden fingertip stretching harshly into its stone as it starts etching out number after number along the surface. Tore struggle to keep the living palm in his grip as it continues to carve out more and more numbers into the stone. Once finished etching out an entire set of numbers down into the side of the pillar, all the life that had been injected into the wood fades as fast as it had came; its lush and vibrant bark thinning out and withering as he drops the twin back onto the icy floor. What was...what the heck was all that? What happened? That glow came out of me and made the hand come back to life; all just to etch a bunch of numbers in stone. But why come back just to do that?

Moving past this bizarre sequence of events, the boy hears catch some strange whispers echoing out from behind the stone stand; the indigo angel hover to the top of the pedestal and gazing through the nod to find the girls he came with huddled together. “Well, its a nice change of pace to see you two getting along with each other. I was pretty afraid both of you were going to be at eachother’s throats for another half hour.” As soon as they hear their angelic escort speak to them, the pair of young ladies quickly turn back to their guide; glaring to him as they seem to be caught off guard. Quickly shaking off their little shock, Toxi is the first of the two to speak up and asks: “So how the hell you expectin to squeeze something that big outta this tight ass cave?” “Well, the one Mall got was about as small as a pinkie ring. He did said there was some way to shrink it down.” “Hang on a minute. Are you saying you know what this thing does?” Gigi then questions him. “Uh, kinda...But hey, now that we went and found this, how bout we go look for your friends so all you can get outta this mountain.”

“Oh no, that ain’t gonna happen.” the slime girl declares. “Yeah, we ain’t going anywhere. Not without our little prize.” the blonde adds. “Uh...what do you mean.?” the blue boy wonders. “Come on, bitch. You saying that you were stupid enough to buy us being a couple of wildlife researchers. Like hell we came to deal with this mountains weird ass bullshit, we’re taken that huge ass ring behind yo with us.” Toxi claims. “You two were just lying? But…my friend needs this ring.” he attempts to explain. “Like you think that’s gonna get us to stop? We ain’t leaving until you give up that ring.” Gigi states as both her and her slimy partner prepare to fight. Landing down in front of the stone pedestal, the indigo angel takes a fighting stance; reluctantly preparing to fend off the pair of lying young ladies.

Out of the pair of young girls is Toxi the first to engage, flinging out a glob of her own dark violet slime to the angel as she claims: “I’d like to see ya stop us while yo melting away!” The mess of gooey gunk lobbing his way, the blue boy cross both of his arms in front of his face just as the glob was about to hit him; the slimy chunk of goo breaking apart against his limbs and splattering all along his white coat. Despite the slime girls claim of her goo’s viscose properties, Tore barely feels even a little bit of burning as he uncrosses his arms and looks to the stains left along his jacket; the goo that splat along his bare hands simply bubbling without even melting through his skin. Toxi is left utterly baffled as the young man simply swats away her dirty purple ooze, left confused when finding his bare hands left intact. “You fucking kidding me here!?”

“Let me take a crack at him?” Gigi says as she leaps up in the air. During her descent down towards the angelic boy, the blonde executes numerous dazzling flips that cover herself as she take out what was left of her electrical dance ribbon. Once landing before her once blue guide, the nimble blonde swiftly races right around him and starts to wrap her shocking ribbon all around; eventually leaping off to the side once having enveloped what ribbon she had around the boy. Gigi presses the button along the bottom of her ribbons stick to send out constant flow of stinging electricity through its strand; the lightning clearly coursing through the ribbon and coursing along the young angel’s body. Even with all the volts running along him, Tore barely feels any sort of shock from them in the slightest as he simply stands and stares to Gigi while she looks upon him with a devious grin. Her mischievous smile suddenly breaks when witnessing her blue foe flex within the grasp of her ribbons; Tore stretching outwards until the strands enveloping him are ripped into pieces. “Are you fucking kidding here?” she screams.

As the pieces of the electrical ribbons flutter along his feet, Tore gazes to both of the opposing ladies and wonders: “Not to sound rude here, but was that really it?” “Like hell it is!” Toxi then exclaims while gathering up a thick glob of slime in her hands. Once the toxic ball of sludge was big enough, the slime girl lobs it right out towards their angelic opponent; its mass proving about twice the size as it hurdles out towards the blue boy. He simply conjures a small orb of pale light and tosses it out to the nearing gunk, its light piercing straight through the massive boulder of sludge and causing it to explode into chunks of purple ooze. While Tore covers his face from the scattering pieces of slime, Gigi takes the moment to dart right behind him and smack something against his very back; the blonde flipping away as the small bit of steel she had planted on him starts to blink faster and faster. As he watches Gigi cartwheel back to her partners side the device stuck upon him suddenly explodes in a plume of flames; the blonde landing back to her gooey friend as they hear the boy cry out while engulfed in fire. Their self assured victory is only short lived however as all the flames and smoke bellows away all at once in white wave to unveil the Tore left without any burns to speak off; his coat on the other hand left in tatters as its remains fall to the floor. The blue boy’s chest exposed to the bitter cold, Gigi’s face turns bright red as she stares upon the angel’s tone bod; the young lady shaking off her astonished blush before stating to him that: “Da-Dai-ah! Don’t think that sexy stuffs gonna work this time! We ain’t gonna stop til we get that ring!”

Man, this suck. They helped out a bunch and just turn out to be a couple of liars just wanting to steal the nod...they seem a little, bad at it, though. They barely got anything that hurts here, they’re just tossing out whatever they got to see if it works. Don’t really wanna fight them, to be honest here. Maybe running past them while carrying the search nod; least they might not be strong enough to carry it themselves. But how to get past them without knocking their lights out?

Out from one of the holes above them does the sound of something screaming gradually begin to grow louder, all three of them glance up to the many open ports and gaze around for which of them could be letting out such strange whimpers and shrieks. “The hell is that?” Toxi questions. “It kinda sounds like-” Finally does a body drop out from the hole directly above their young blue foe; Tore holding his arms out as a man with baby blue skin lands in his grasps. “Charles!?” the blonde exclaims. “About time you got off yo lazy ass and come find us.” the slime girl mentions. “Whe-where did I wind up?” the man mutters in a daze. “Ah! The frozen corpses lives!?” Tore screams. Lifting the baby blue man right above his head, the indigo angel chucks Charles right towards the pair of young ladies; both Gigi and Toxi panicking as the baby blue man comes hurdling right at them. The young blue man is sent slamming straight into the two young girls and fumble down onto the icy cold floor, the ladies struggling to get Charles off of them as their blue foe quickly hurries back to the giant ring. “Fucking get off!” Toxi screeches. “Ah! Charles!” Gigi exclaims.

Hopping right to the very top of the stone pedestal, Tore grasps the very bottom of the massive golden nod and lifts it right off the platform; holding the ring above his head as he starts to glide back down the way all of them came. “Get the hell off us!” the slime girl screams as she shoves the man right off them. Hitting his head on the cold hard floor, Charles sudden jolts awake from the pain; rubbing his head as she rises off the ice to say: “Ah! The hell is your girls problem!?” Rather than waste time explaining, the pair of young woman leap right off the solid cold ground and start to race right after the indigo angel; Gigi shouting him: “He’s getting away with the treasure, come on!” “What!” Jumping right off the floor himself, Charles starts rushing right after the pair of racing ladies as he attempt to ask them: “Hang on a second! What even going on!?”

Racing back through the vein tunnels with the coveted prized clumsily held above his head, Tore glance back to where he had flown from for any sign of his thought to be escortees that pursue him; all the while keeping the rather huge ring above his head from falling down onto the icy floor. “He can’t get that far carrying that huge ass ring.” he hears Toxi mention. “He might still get away, hurry up!” he hears Gigi claim. “What the hell are you two even talking about?” he hears another man’s voice ask. Even when seeing not a single bit of any of them coming up from the dark void he leaves behind, the indigo angel hurries ahead through the rest of the stretch of icy cave ahead of him.

Soon enough does he return to the very four way intersection that he and the girls had taken before, the blue boy’s eyes constantly shifting between the three potential path’s he could take. His ears manage to pick of a disturbing growl coming from the very tunnel that they had first came from; the snarl feeling rather angry and vengeful upon listening to it. Yeah, not heading down that way. That leaves just two more options. This might be the only chance to lose them. Gotta play this smart though; they could just follow the light coming from these pair of wings no matter which direction...unless. Tore withdraws his bright white wings back into his back and lands back onto the slippery cold floor, inviting the darkness of the caverns to creep back in to give the boy some cover. Though this darkness does not stay for very long, as the blue boy conjures an orb of pale power in the palm of his hand; the indigo angel casting this bright ball down to the right while he dashes out to the left.

Coming from the very tunnels that their blue pursuit had flown through, Gigi, Toxi, and Charles all halt at the very center of the crossroad and gaze out in different direction as the goo girl between them wonders aloud: “Where the hell did that little blue bitch scurry off to?” “You two are seriously just gonna ignore me and not say what’s even happening?” the baby blue man questions. “We said later, Charles. We ain’t got time.” Toxi answers. Peering out towards the right tunnel, the blond notices a faint light glistening down the tunnel and suddenly races ahead as she claims that: “I see him! He went that way! Come on!” From the completely opposite tunnel, the blue boy glances out from behind a curving corner and watches all of the follow after the eagerly rushing blond; Tore letting out a relieved breath when the last of their figures disappear into the icy dark void.

Returning to venture through the shadowy ice caverns, Tore unfurls his wings and takes off further through the cold tunnels; his glowing wings reflecting off the dozens of still figures and animals that protrude out from the tunnel walls and ceiling. Despite able to carry the giant ring under his back with relative ease, his body’s constant shivering from the cold makes it rather difficult to keep it balanced in his hands; clutching the outer rim of the ring as much as he can as he continues to tremble. Holy frozen over hell, its even colder in here then when the annual blizzards pass by back in Canada. Without any sort of coat in here, it probably won’t be long before urine literally freezes from the inside. Imagine if you just had to piss out icicles out; good god, all the sharp ends would just tear apart your insides coming out. Just need to find Mall and we can finally get out of this oversize ice box.

Right upon thinking of his mentor does he start seeing the cosmic angel in the reflections of the icy statues; each one of them fluttering around and moving in their own unique way. All of them soon start leaping right out from the ice and gather before the young Kybr; Tore setting the golden search nod down to the side as he watches all of them meld together in a flash of glittering space; the cosmic veil disappearing to reveal Mall himself hovering before him. “There you are! I’m happy to see you’ve lost those three just in time for-” Before the spacial angel could speak any further on the matter, his pupil races right over and gives him a warming embrace; constantly shivering against his waist as the boy utters: “Need to g-get warm...So cold in here...” “What prey tell happened to your coat?” “Long story...Just need s-some warmth...”

Looking down to his blue ward with concerning eyes, the cosmic angel grasps the panther pelt wrapped around him and slides it right off; dropping it onto the shivering young man and blanketing his bare body in its warn fur. “Seems you need this more than I do at the moment.” he states. Snuggling his cold chest in the pelts cozy warmth, Tore sighs out: “Ah, thank you...” “Its the least I can do for you after you have retrieved the search nod.  But I must ask, why didn’t you shrink it down to a more manageable size?” “I, uh...I had no idea how to.” “Well, I supposed now would be a good time to demonstrate.” the cosmic angel mentions as he hovers over to the size of the giant golden ring. Watching his spacial mentor approach the massive nod that he had carried over, Tore keeps his eyes on Mall as he rests the palm of his hand upon one of the many eyes littering the outer rim; the cosmic angel sending his own power through the eye and causing them all to glow out the very cosmo’s itself. With his very energy flowing through, the golden ring begin to rapidly shrink further and further; turning smaller until it fits into the palm of his hand. Revealing the very space within his own body, Mall tosses the precious golden nod straight into himself before turning back to his ward and elaborating on how: “These rings were designed to respond to a Kybr’s very soul; simply giving out your own power shall command it to resize itself whenever desired. Really, I couldn’t imagine how else Yabahoth was able to store away the nod within the tight nexus of this very mountain.”

“Oh yeah, Mall. I might’ve figured out what happened to Yabahoth. See, we found this massive beating heart encased in an ice block and rooting all these veins throughout the whole mountain; all of it constantly creating all these icy animals and people that live all in the inside. You said that he was like a guru that could communicate and become one with solid matter; what if that’s was happened?” The cosmic angel’s glare widens further and further as he continues to hear his young blue ward theorize about all of this; questioning his explanation with: “Tore...are you trying to suggest that he-” “I am. Mall, that heart I found was a part of him. He became one with the mountain itself. I mean, I never thought in my life I would even think of something like this happening. Somebody becoming a part of nature itself and creating new animals. It’s like...” Tore speaks starts to drag to a crawl when finding his cosmic mentor left looking down to the icy veins beneath his feet, left in a trembling silents upon this newfound knowledge. “Mall...What’s wrong?” “Of all the places you could have chose for your final resting place...If circumstances had been different, Yabahoth. This entire mountain would collapse underneath me...”

Seeing the man left enraged by this realization, Tore approaches his side and grasps his arm; attempting to reach out to him with: “Mall...” Snapping out from his anger, the cosmic angel gazes down upon his ward as Tore claims how: “We got what we came for. Let’s just leave.” The indigo angel’s very words calm the cosmic Kybr’s boiling fury; Mall letting out a deep breath before uttering: “You’re right…All I wish to do now is simply leave and put this accursed place behind. Let us continue.”

As the two angel start their spelunking trek through the icy tunnels, the blue boy wrapped in the panther pelt then wonders aloud: “I wonder if those two girls managed to find their friends.” “Oh don’t worry. I’m sure that they have.” Mall assures while sending out a small wave of his spacial power through the caverns. These waves give the cosmic angel the very image of all five of them having been reunited; all the while running for their very lives away from the very same icy ogre.

----------------------------------------------------

And here is the other half of this narrative, the events that had transpired here explain what happened in the last chapter. This little experiment was fun to do; but were getting closer to the end, and to the truth. Stick around

[citizenaycock]

The Master (2012) | Written and Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson

Intro and Technical Details

I try to figure out why I gravitate to certain films.  Most of the time, it’s after someone asks me what my favorites are. I tell them, and then 90% of the time they don’t understand why I like those particular films. I’ve asked myself if it’s just some kind of wanna-be elitist, cinephile phoniness or something...but that’s not it.  The reason I love films like The Master is due to their elusiveness.  The Master shows you an approximate direction, but doesn’t overtly tell you what the answer is. In my eyes, this places it in a special category of cinema which is mysterious and often transcendent.  It has something profound to say about us as humans and morphs with each viewing.  It is alive because it doesn’t spoon-feed you an agenda or proposed concrete “truth” or “moral lesson”. My goal in this post is to take what I know and implement my personal thoughts and film knowledge to try to gain a better understanding of what this film is.  This is my third post analyzing a film of my choosing.  The first was about two women (Persona), the second was about a man and a woman (Cold War) and The Master is about two men. When people ask me what my favorite movie is, I tell them The Master by Paul Thomas Anderson.  This is also PTA’s favorite film of his own.  I remember the first time I watched it was at the NoHo Laemlle Theater a couple of blocks from where I live, right off of Magnolia, which happens to be the title of the first Paul Thomas Anderson film I ever watched.  But while watching The Master that day in the theater, I remember feeling lost and dumb.  I knew A LOT was happening but I didn’t know what. It left me behind.    As a short filmmaker, when I first started (around the time The Master came out) I would just have stuff in my films (images, sounds, lines, etc) that were superfluous and didn’t have any legitimate reason for existing.  My intentions were good...I was trying to create an atmosphere, even though a lot of the attempted atmosphere didn’t connect to the story or the idea being examined.  I think it’s because a lot of the movies I was watching during that time I didn’t understand.  I didn’t know why the director was making the detailed choices he or she was making.  I still don’t always know the reason, but I do have a better idea. I must’ve thought these choices were just there spontaneously or by accident...for style-sake maybe!  I was just going along the ride without consciously considering the nuanced decisions the director or actors were making.  And oddly enough, this particular film is about a cult called “The Cause” and every cult’s main philosophy-based objective (in some odd form or fashion) seems to be to awaken your consciousness to yourself and/or to reality.  If one is a film lover, and is so inclined to dig into this film, I believe one must watch consciously to understand it and not just go on the ride.  And at first glance, one might make the mistake of thinking there is no rhyme or reason for certain moments, but Anderson is a filmmaker that does a vast amount of research and is very aware of what he’s packing in there.  A literary example (which is much more elusive) is Finnegan’s Wake by James Joyce.  Many believe Joyce was just goofing around with words, but if you read Joseph Campbell’s Skeleton Key or do some independent research on each phrase and term (if you have 10 years), one will realize there is meaning within the puns and riddles and melding-words. Finnegan’s Wake is a circular book and I believe The Master is a circular film.  Finnegan begins again and I believe Freddie begins again.   Roger Ebert gave the film 2.5 out of 4 stars and I love the first two sentences of his review: “Paul Thomas Anderson’s "The Master" is fabulously well-acted and crafted, but when I reach for it, my hand closes on air. It has rich material and isn't clear what it thinks about it.”   Of course, I disagree mostly.  I agree that the material is rich, but I think it’s clear what it thinks about itself more than Ebert thinks...and I’ll elaborate on this opinion throughout this detailed post.  The next sentence in the review (after the quote above) is about how the Dodd character is based on L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology, but how in the film there is no clear vision of what the cult is or what it becomes.  I believe we see quite a bit of what it is and we see that it has expanded to England by the end of the film.  The film never lays out the exact tenets of the cult in list form, but Dodd himself is making it up as he goes along and this is expressed multiple times in the film.  I also believe enough is revealed to get a fairly good idea of the cult’s philosophy and the methods being used for “curing”. Also, in my opinion, I don’t think understanding “The Cause” is entirely relevant to what the film is trying to say.  The film is mainly about the symbiotic relationship of the two main characters, Freddie and Lancaster.   I rewatched There Will be Blood last night (Anderson’s film before The Master) and the thought came to me that you have to watch the expressions of the characters closely during these films and follow what’s happening inside of them.  This seems so obvious to point out, and could definitely apply to any film-watching experience, but the acting in Anderson’s films is so strong and subtle one will be lost unless you watch the silent moments and what the faces show you. I'm really trying to pick the right words to express this...but you have to consciously tell yourself while watching (in your thoughts) what’s happening with these complex characters if you want to understand the transitions. I don’t think the camera movements are as important in The Master nor the lighting, but it’s the characters’ internal life expressed in their faces manifesting from their psychological states, needs and wants.  Of course, Freddie’s gait is a big part of his character and various body language from the all the characters are  important, but their faces tell you most of the story. Also, I believe some knowledge of Spiritualism is needed to bring to the table, but I don’t think it’s absolutely necessary to understand what the film is trying to say.    But anyway, perhaps I’m over-explaining too soon.  I was trying to figure out how movies like this get away from people (including me) and cause so much confusion.   The last time I saw the film was about 6 months ago at The Egyptian Theatre in Hollywood where the premiere was in 2012.  The screening I saw may have been the same 70mm print from the premiere, but I could be wrong.  I just tend to think there’s not too many 70mm copies out there.  The Master was the first fiction film in 16 years to be shot in 65mm and then 5mm is added for the audio track.  I didn’t know for a long time the reason why such a big film stock made a difference, but apparently it’s because more information can fit on each frame, therefore it’s crisper and more details can be seen...which makes it epic and ambitious and a filmmaker is really swinging for the fences if they use this big stock! Anyway, there was quite a large crowd at the Egyptian and I remember laughing at a few spots where no one else was and kinda had to pull myself back.  I also remember noticing a lot of things I hadn’t noticed before and I’m sure this will be the case when I rewatch it again for this post. Before getting into the film, I'd also like to mention I will probably come off as a bit of a fan boy in this excerpt.  It is because I believe Paul Thomas Anderson is one of the best filmmakers in the world of the past 25 years and has much to teach in a field that I’m passionate about.  Also, I believe The Master is a master-piece and there are new interpretations of depth and reference that I am still uncovering (or think I’m uncovering).

Freddie Quell, Navy Man at Sea

The opening shot is of aqua blue water behind the back of a ship, which is also the dominant color in the palette of the film and the color I think of when I think about the film.  Johnny Greenwood’s score crashes in and then we see the first shot of Freddie Quell in a bunker with a military helmet on.  I can’t remember where I read it but Paul Thomas Anderson told Joaquin Phoenix to mimic the monkey in the hot spring from the documentary Baraka for this shot, which also coincidentally was filmed in 65mm.  I’m sure it's partly a nod to the film’s use of the same stock size, but I also think it's covertly setting us up for Freddie’s animal-like nature...or pointing to the animal-like nature of war and how this particular primate, Freddie, is expected to change his entire behavior, which is attempted by Lancaster Dodd throughout the film.  Simplistically put, Freddie indulges in his animal nature.  Dodd denies it.  A dichotomy that will also act as a magnet between the two throughout the film and something that I will point out several times.    Also, we wonder if war broke Freddie or was Freddie already broken? Or is he actually “broken” at all??  

We immediately see that Freddie drinks heavily and how he is markedly different from the other soldiers in the group.  He takes things too far and is much cruder than the others.  He drunkenly simulates sex with the nude sand woman the guys have made and then masterbates into the ocean.  He then lays down and closes his eyes next to the sand sculpture bosom, almost oedipal-like, sweetly spooning its side.  This exact same image will pop up again and I believe it holds a large significance in the key to understanding the film.  

It is next revealed Freddie can make booze out of pretty much anything as he drains what looks to be the ship’s missile fuel into a cup.  This also seems to be Freddie’s way of making friends with the other troops, as it is simultaneously announced that World War II is over.   The camera scans the room and shows all the interesting yet shell-shocked faces of the troops as it’s explained to them by their superior they are now able to enter the world.  They are told they can now open up their own businesses with the skills they’ve acquired.  This doesn’t come off so much as anti-war, but obviously points out that a lot of these men are damaged psychologically, and the military either comes off as naive or willfully ignorant regarding the mental state of the guys entering the world post-service.  This is magnified by a comical scene of Freddie sitting in a room with a hardened military psychologist who shows him rorschach blots as Freddie interprets every single one as extremely sexual.  Phoenix is amazing in these closeups and the camera is able to hold on him for long periods of time.  This was after his fake retirement from acting and I think he was hungry for this film.  His face is gnarled with lines. He has this mumble that’s slightly distracting but makes you lean in as he moves in and out of the camera’s shallow depth of focus.  This film has so many closeups and doesn’t include the long steadi-cam and dolly shots like in Boogie Nights or There Will be Blood.  The comical scene is followed by a sad scene showing us that Freddie has some real psychological pain.  He talks little and very uncomfortably to another military psychologist about his family and an old sweetheart.  Freddie mumbles, “you can’t help me” and later sarcastically says, “thanks for the help”.  Later on we wonder if Dodd gives him real help opposed to these psychologists.

Freddie Enters the World

Freddie has a job as a photographer in a department store.  The portraits look lovely. The song underneath during this scene is perfect (”Get thee Behind Me, Satan” by Ella Fitzgerald). 

Freddie flirts with a woman that models clothes for customers.  He later then mixes some of his potion in a photo-chemical room like an Alchemist. They both drink from the flask and then kiss.  She shows him her breasts.  Freddie asks her to go out that night, which cuts to Freddie passed out drunk at the restaurant table and the woman annoyed.  

The next day Freddie is hung over at work and gets into a fight with a large male photo client.  Freddie comically runs from the man and throws various items at him while dodging and weaving behind columns.  The camera covers the commotion in wide shot in the department store so well! Then Freddie does something peculiar and funny by grabbing the hand of the model (his date from the night before) like he’s leaving the job and she’s coming with him.  She looks at him baffled as they hurry out.   Music comes in perfectly here (once again) with a jagged discontinuity of woodwinds which takes us to Freddie now working in a lettuce field in Salinas, California.  The shift to this new, vastly different environment is dreamlike.  Freddie continues to make booze and gives some to an older man that Freddie says looks like his father.  The man gets ungodly drunk and Freddie is run out of the work group after being accused of poisoning the man, which leads to one of my favorite shots of the film.  It is a long tracking shot of Freddie running through a foggy field away from the workers chasing him.  I liked it so much I tried to slightly copy it while shooting a silly annual family short film in a cotton field in Texas, also running away from farmers.   And worth mentioning (assuming my short film is worth mentioning), I remember reading somewhere that Paul Thomas Anderson read about the life of John Steinbeck (from Salinas, CA) and incorporated some of the stories in The Master. 

The Master (2012) Paul Thomas Anderson (Panavision 65mm)

The Jackel (2016) Cory Aycock (Canon 7D Crop Sensor)

Freddie Meets “The Cause”

Next, it cuts directly to Freddie walking on a dock, looking cold and dejected. In the distance is a boat docked with a lively party and warm lighting.  Music plays and we get our first glimpse of Lancaster Dodd. He dances charismatically with his wife in the middle of an admiring group as Freddie, the misfit loner, decides to sneak onto the boat.  The boat is then shown setting out to sea, which looks to be departing from San Francisco under the Bay Bridge.  

The next morning, Freddie is hungover and has a humorous conversation with Lancaster, the leader of “The Cause”. Such a great opening scene with these two and Phillip Seymour Hoffman is so great in this role.  I think it’s his best performance...but I’m biased. As mentioned, the conversation is humorous, but not funny-haha.  Again, I will try to explain as best I can what I feel when watching some of these scenes... They talk in such a way, not necessarily about funny stuff, but they are such characters and there’s such chemistry it puts a smile on your face.  You see the inner-game they are both playing and it’s delightful to watch.  They are opposites, which creates this lively synthesis and makes you laugh sometimes, but also gives you such a large mindscape to enter during these rich, concentrated dialogue sessions.   In this first conversation, Lancaster and Freddie both mention that the other seems familiar, which comes back later.  Their association is sweet yet ridiculous at times.  A likable naivety exists, but also a sense of intrigue and darkness lies underneath. Dodd tells Freddie, “I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist, a theoretical philosopher...but above all I am a man...A hopelessly inquisitive man, just like you.”  And shortly after calls Freddie a scoundrel, but asks him to make more of his secret booze.        A young Rami Malek, Clark, pops up next in the film and is marrying Lancaster’s daughter, Elizabeth.  The first interaction we see between Hoffman and Malek feels like a Tom Cruise-like stareoff.  Malek stares until Hoffman ducks his head in slight awkwardness.  This trivial detail always catches my attention and I’m not sure why. Lancaster gives a speech after the ceremony in triangular blocking.  This is my favorite speech of Dodd’s in the film.  He is at his most charismatic and funny here, in my opinion, and touches on some of the philosophies of “The Cause” in symbolic terms.  He talks about lassoing a dragon and then teaching it stay, then roll over and play dead. I’m almost positive this serves as a metaphor for taming the ego and/or reactionary mind, then learning how to navigate life playfully following this “enlightenment”.  Freddie shifts in his drunkeness from confusion to laughter while continuing to compulsively drink all the alcohol in sight counter to the simultaneous speech.  

Although, Lancaster loves Freddie’s booze and, again, secretly asks for some after the speech.  Freddie’s process of procuring this solution is somewhat like a mad alchemist and shown multiple times in the film. To me, this could metaphorically point to some type of alchemy forming between the two opposite characters considering the psychological and metaphysical tone of the film. It is also revealed the next morning by Amy Adams’ character, Peggy (Dodd’s wife), that Freddie inspires something in Dodd and he has been writing much more since Freddie showed up.  Peggy has asked Freddie to sit with her at breakfast, possibly to see what it is about him that could possibly spark this insight in her husband.  Despite this, I don’t think Peggy sees anything special in Freddie and doesn’t understand their relationship for the remainder of the film.  Actually no one, besides maybe Elizabeth, sees anything worthy in Freddie at all other than Dodd.  I believe this is because Freddie fills a unique gap within Dodd.    I will expand on this more later, but to me it’s obvious Freddie is filling the gap of the id.  Freddie is a scoundrel, an open drunk, a philanderer and a wanderer.  These are things Dodd isn’t.  He forbids himself of being this and Freddie is counter to this persona of Dodd’s, who is a leader, married and always ON.  He is relied upon by his followers, always maintaining his status as prophet for the cult...perhaps the superego. Soon it is revealed there are “processing” sessions occurring on the ship, recording “past lives”.  Everything is being put on tape of what people are saying during these sessions.  Freddie humorously navigates the ship during all of this.  At one point he sits at a table and puts on some headphones and it’s Lancaster’s voice deliberately stating,  “We are not animals.”  “We are not a part of the animal kingdom.” Simultaneously, Freddie looks across the table at a young woman and passes her a dirty sexual note.  She goes back to work as Freddie watches her.  The sun behind him shines through the window and perfectly peaks behind Freddie’s head.  This is what I meant at the beginning of the post...the film is showing you something regarding the ideas it is trying to express.  In this moment it’s not necessarily just in the face of the character, but in what Dodd says in the headphones in direct opposition to Freddie’s sexual note and then the sun winking at us from behind. For some reason, it makes me cringe to analyze some of these moments... demystifying and deflating the “magic” of these details.   

The distinction of “animal” pops up periodically a few more times in the film on the account of Dodd. Again, Freddie (the animal) and Lancaster (the divine) forming a fully whole being.  Now, at the 36 minute mark, the best scene between two actors sitting across from each other at a table I’ve ever seen.  It reminds me a bit of the scene in Persona where the two women sit across the table from one another when they meld. They also repeat the dialogue here like in Persona and Dodd dresses down Freddie similar to Alma’s dressing down of Elisabet.  The face lighting in this scene is also similar, half-lighting the characters but in a dark Charlie Rose-like room directly counter to the white background in Persona.   The scene begins by Freddie being processed after a drink with Lancaster.  Lancaster asks him probing questions about his life and records it.  The scene is funny, dark, raw and nuanced.  I can’t say enough about this scene, there is so much here.  Phoenix moves and looks around.  Hoffman stays still, centered, not breaking eye contact.   The first time around, Freddie doesn’t take it seriously and farts in the middle of them talking.  Lancaster playfully calls him a “silly animal” and ends the processing session soon after by turning off the recorder.  Freddie seems disappointed and wants to do it again. Lancaster sets up the rules this time and tells him he is not allowed to blink during the questioning. Freddie agrees.  In somewhat Mesiner-like fashion they continue the exercise in a long closeup on Freddie.  Phoenix is amazing here and at one points slaps his face multiple times after he blinks.  They start over.  Tears roll down his face.  Apparently Freddie is severely troubled by his family past and recalls a sexual relationship he had with his Aunt.  Then he reveals he was in love with a girl in his hometown named Dorris.  It beautifully cuts from the black, heavy room to a bright sunny day and the white house where Dorris lives with colorful flowers in front.  This is a beautiful contrasting cut by Anderson transporting us.  Also, worth pointing out, is the contrast of how silly the scene started with farts and laughter, then taking us to this this deep, heavy pain within Freddie.

This is a unifying scene for Freddie and Lancaster.  And despite what we think about the legitimacy of the cult, some type of deep psychological progress with Freddie is being made here...a progress that was not even close to being accomplished with the military psychologists.   Or is this “progress”?  Feels like it.   As Freddie comes back from the flashback, it cuts to the aqua blue water again, similar to the opening shot of the film, perhaps personifying Freddie’s current mental state.  The color of Freddie’s shirt also matches the color of the water.

Again, there is a charming naivety within Lancaster regarding “The Cause” during his far-fetched final questioning lightening the mood before the two have a drink and smoke a Kool together.

Funny outtakes at the end of the scene.

Obviously, Dodd is modeled after L. Ron Hubbard, but I don’t think it's a nasty rebuke or hit piece, nor is it an exact replica.  I read Anderson and Tom Cruise remained friends after Anderson showed it to him.  If one thinks it’s mainly a film about Scientology then they are absolutely wrong.  It’s evident Anderson loves these characters in spite of all their flaws and complications.  Dodd remains a believer of his own philosophy throughout the film, which I think keeps him likable.  You also believe throughout he wants to help Freddie, even though some of that motivation may be ego-based or material for his writing.  He is misguided at times but cannot be broadly painted good or bad and does not come off as maliciously pumping out nonsense solely for monetary gain.  You believe he believes. 

Sea-Legs to Landlocked

The ship now arrives at New York City and the group attends a fancy party at a home.  You get the feeling this new spiritual movement is in vogue.  Freddie goes straight for the booze and also begins stealing random stuff around the house.  Lancaster schmoozes, then is shown performing a processing exercise for a woman laying on the couch for the party crowd.  This last time watching, I got the feeling Dodd was curious what she would say and that every session he conducts he secretly sees as an experiment, collecting more data for himself rather than having a fully realized philosophy or completed methodology.  

I’ve read Dianetics, so I do believe I have more insight into what’s going on in some of these scenes than a regular viewer.  Although, I also believe the information is already there in the scenes if one pays close enough attention. And I’ll say it again, “The Cause” is not a carbon copy of Scientology.  But, to generalize, the quest of both seems to be the same...to reach a state of “perfect” (or “clear”) by cutting through past traumatic memories and lifetimes (when the “analytic mind” was unconscious) in order to tame the current reactive mind. After processing, the woman on the couch talks about her past life and Dodd answers some of her questions.  Then, a naysayer from the party verbally challenges the legitimacy of Dodd’s claims.  "The Cause” is no longer confined to the vacuum chamber that is their boat.  Dodd raises his voice in anger and Peggy looks visibly rattled as well.  Lancaster eventually loses his cool after the naysayer continues to not back down and calls him a “Pigfuck”, which makes me laugh every time.  This is the first time we see Dodd lose his composure in the film.  Freddie is observing off to the side and throws a tomato at the guy, probably something Dodd wishes he could do.  The party guest is obviously convinced there is no way to have a logical discussion regarding “The Cause” with Dodd and he’s right.

A quick aside and personal story...the actor playing the Party Guest Naysayer is named Christopher Evan Welch.  I briefly worked backstage at the Mark Taper Forum in Downtown Los Angeles and Christopher was one of the actors in a play when I was working there.  During one of the shows, while waiting for his time to go back on stage, he sat with me for a while and asked me questions about what I wanted to do in the business and where I was from, etc.  I was still pretty green.  I remembered him being very nice and authentic. This must have been around the time he worked on The Master because it was in early 2012. The next year I found out that he died suddenly of Cancer. Hoffman died not too long after.  Very sad.  The full scene is below with Welch and Hoffman:

Dodd and Peggy are upset now in their room after this fiasco.  Dodd writes furiously as Peggy speaks, putting words to their anger, completely flabbergasted by this mild rebuke. The whole group is bent out of shape, shaken by this challenge.  Freddie, next door, elects to take Rami Malek’s character (Clark) to the naysayer’s room to rough him up and they do (or Freddie does).  

The next day Dodd pretends to scold Freddie, but it’s obvious he’s glad he did it.  Again, Freddie being the id that is unrestrained and not held down by social convention in direct opposition to Dodd’s persona.  This is where something similar comes in comparable to Scientology, because Scientologists are known to go after naysayers, sometimes aggressively.    The group nows arrives at a large house in Philadelphia belonging to Laura Dern’s character, Helen.  Everyone gets out of the car like a big happy family visiting relatives and you really feel the warmth of their community here.  Different courses and talks are being held at the home.  Dodd’s daughter, Elizabeth, makes a move on Freddie during one of the talks and Freddie resists.  She is a redhead just like his past sweetheart Dorris.  In the previous scene, Freddie was ready to go find the naysayer and Clark seemed apprehensive until Elizabeth gave him a look to go.  She seems to like Freddie’s aggression.  Plus, perhaps, her father’s closeness with Freddie has something to do with this attraction. There are moments when Freddie’s face, with all it’s interesting lines, drifts to another place and the sound completely fades as Anderson holds the shot on Phoenix in closeup.  Anderson does tons of planning and research, but you get the feeling on the day during filming he’s constantly looking to catch moments of spontaneity and it seems this choice to hold on Phoenix during this particular moment is a good example.

Freddie continues to get completely wasted alone amongst the others, shown during a party as Lancaster sings and holds court.     The scene afterwards always makes me laugh really hard (no pun intended) when Peggy jerks Lancaster off in the sink while making him agree not to drink anymore of Freddie’s booze.  She continues to jerk and tells Lancaster if he’s going to cheat on her to not let her or anyone else she knows find out.  Lancaster eventually comes and doubles over as he lets out a few violent pleasurable yelps.  This is the closest to the animal side we see of Dodd, and this spirited release may point to the pressure build-up.        Peggy then walks into the dark room where Freddie is passed out and tells him there will be no more boozing. He reluctantly agrees upon waking. Yet the next scene (the next day) shows Freddie continuing to drink heavily on the sneak.  The Philadelphia Police show up at the house suddenly to arrest Dodd for running a medical school without a license.  Dodd gives himself up relatively calmly and in contrast Freddie fights wildly with several police who violently wrestle him to the ground and handcuff him.   Then there is a wonderful scene following, setting up the two protagonists’ contrast in temperament even more when Freddie is hauled in and put in the cell next to Dodd. Dodd is cooly standing still and calmly leaning on his bunk.  Freddie is abruptly being dragged in by four officers, and immediately starts DESTROYING his cell as Dodd just observes.  Dodd possibly feels this rage inside but has elected to consciously watch his rage rather than react as Freddie is.     Then the two get in a hilarious, childish yelling match after Dodd tries to explain to Freddie why he is how he is.  He tells Freddie the cause of his affliction is due to an implant from millions of years ago and that he is asleep (lining up with Scientology).  Freddie isn’t having it and says he’s just making it all up as he goes along, echoing what Dodd’s son said to Freddie on the porch right before the police showed.  Dodd yells back that no one likes Freddie except for him.  Both of the characters have told each other a truth.  Dodd then says he’s done with him and begins peeing in his cell toilet.  Yet Freddie has no pot to piss in because he’s destroyed his cell, including his toilet.  In fact, he may have also destroyed his relationship with Dodd, which would likely mean he will not have a pot to piss in for quite some time.  

During a quick arraignment scene with Dodd, the Judge orders him to repay the $11,000 he took and gives him this look that has so much character and makes me smile every time.  He cuts his eyes up in this humorously scolding way as he simultaneously hits the gavel.   With these great films and directors and actors, you learn that even the smallest scene is packed with so much richness and detail and not wasted!

Dodd is now at the dinner table with his family.  Freddie is still in jail.  The family open up to Dodd voicing their concerns regarding Freddie.  They want him gone.  Dodd says they must try and help Freddie get well, perhaps Dodd trying to find a way to keep him around. Now a wide shot outside of the Philadelphia house.  Dodd is sitting up on the porch with several others and there is a little girl on a tricycle in the foreground below the steps.  Freddie sheepishly approaches the house after being let out of jail like the prodigal son.  Dodd cooly embraces him.  The little girl runs up the steps into the house.  The two men then start wrestling like little boys in the yard, the two halves reconciled, laughing hysterically. 

Freddie Quell, Patient of The Cause

Freddie is now being “treated” and/or administered tests in front of about 30 people in the house to “cure” him. Dodd tells him to go from one end of the room to the other, to feel the wood wall and describe it, then walk over to the glass window, feel it and describe it too.  He continues this over and over.  

Paul Thomas Anderson is a filmmaker that walks in front of you and you have to catch up.  He does this by overloading your mind with scenes that just start and don’t have a lead-up.  You have to wait, then you find out.  The strength of the music, cinematography and acting lays so much subtext in front of you, it can keep you from following what’s actually happening...which, oddly, I feel is part of what great cinema is.  It’s a great distraction...a created atmosphere so thick that one can be swept away by it if they don’t watch out.  For example, the first time I watched this film I thought I had an idea what was happening, then I realized I was wrong, but I had already overthought in the wrong direction so far I became completely lost and just sat there asking myself even more wrong questions in my head about what was going on until the credits rolled.  I did the same thing in the same theater with Inherent Vice a few years later.  In the next scene there is another exercise where Freddie sits across from Clark and is not to react to anything he says, including personal insults.  He cannot react in any way (laugh or talk, etc) or Dodd will start over the exercise.  This reminds me of the Synanon Cult and their ”Attack Therapy”.  The cult used to be located in Santa Monica where the hotel Casa Del Mar is now and I’m sure Anderson had heard of them growing up in LA.  Clark immediately says “Dorris” and Freddie breaks right away, looking to Dodd knowing Dodd told Clark to say this.  Dodd replies, “Fail” and they have to start over.  In my opinion (and I think I’m right) Dodd wants Freddie to get to a point of non-reactivity, possibly closer to a state of “clear”.  All the individual’s insecurities are placed in the forefront consciousness (also why they record everything) and then the individual has to face these thoughts head-on until the past is dealt with and the former traumatic memories no longer abscond the self, opening the individual to infinity.  The individual must face the shadow in other words, becoming whole by “mastering it”...taming the reactive mind or “dragon” as mentioned in Dodd’s speech at the wedding.  Once the dragon is tamed then one can teach it to “roll over and play dead”. Am I being indoctrinated too??

Next, Peggy reads Freddie sexually explicit passages from a book in a Demme-like closeup and Freddie is not supposed to react or say anything.    Dodd excludes Freddie from eating lunch with the group and makes him stay inside the house continuing the exercises where he continually has to walk back and forth and feel the wood wall and window over and over again. Freddie is at a point now where he names the wall and window random things like “moss”, “rocks” and “barbed wire” as he touches them.  My guess is this is an exercise to break down his sense of language....or just break down his mind, because it’s obvious to Dodd he needs to be broken down.  I also think Dodd is using this as an experiment for his methods to see what “works”.   He watches from outside as Freddie, alone, continues to walk back and forth.  The camera pushes in on Dodd and his expression is one of curiosity as well as remorse, yet still barks out orders, “Back again!”.  

Shortly after, he explains to Freddie that it is a slow, hard process and Freddie looks mentally exhausted.  But, eventually, Freddie starts making progress and is becoming stronger.  Is it really working? Rami Malek (Clark) is so monotone and annoying here, it really shows Freddie has to be strong to take his insults during the exercises.  Peggy even shows compassion for Freddie at one point, one of his biggest naysayers throughout the film.   To shift to something technical for a second, I love how the flicker of the film looks in these closeups on Joaquin Phoenix!  You can really notice it in the 4K Version.  I also remember being very aware it was shot on film while watching the 70mm version at the Egyptian.  I know it’s very cool to like film, but I really do authentically enjoy the look of it.

Freddie now does the wall/window exercise with manic energy. There is one moment when Joaquin Phoenix is jumping up and down and almost hits his head on the chandelier’s metal point...and it looks as though Hoffman gets out of character for a sec to block Phoenix’s head that narrowly misses it. Freddie is back feeling the wall like he has hundreds of times, then goes over to the glass again, feels it and deeply says he can touch the neighbor’s plants...the stars...anything he wants... This is not a big moment magnified by a music cue or closeup, but Dodd says enthusiastically “End of application!” Freddie has succeeded in completing the exercise.  Perhaps Freddie has now transcended and touched infinity in Dodd’s opinion, realizing he can touch anything he wants (mental freedom), seeing the infinitude in something simple and ordinary like a glass window.  Perhaps he has gone through the iterations of the exercises enough to become “clear” (the word “clear” is never used in the film).   Dark, foreboding music now comes in during a shared hug between Lancaster and Freddie. In my opinion, the music foretells the bleakness of certainty Freddie is 100% cured.

In the next scene, Peggy announces that Dodd’s new book will be presented in Phoenix, Arizona.  After watching a few times, you realize that the work done with Freddie was most likely the catalyst for Dodd finishing the book after administering all the exercises.  The film obviously doesn’t come out and say this directly, but we know Freddie has inspired Dodd’s writing, his son earlier revealed that Dodd is just making it up as he goes along and this announcement about a new book comes directly after Freddie “successfully” completes the tests.  Also, is it a coincidence the city picked for the new book event is the last name of the actor playing Freddie, as well as the symbolic mythological bird that rises from the ashes after a rebirth?

Dodd and Freddie now are at a remote, desert location I assume is outside of Phoenix.  They dig up Dodd’s unpublished work that had been buried. Lancaster carries a gun and looks around to make sure no one’s watching or, maybe, if a magic event might manifest.  The score by Johnny Greenwood here is amazing.  Again, with the two characters in this scene there is a wonderful naivety regardless of the ridiculousness of digging up this essential manuscript for “The Cause”.  They are like two kid soldiers out in the great beyond full of wonder and purpose.  And the shirt Dodd is wearing in this scene is hilarious.  

“The Split Saber” is printed on the press.   Freddie takes pictures of Dodd, which are funny and sweet. I’ve included a pair of photos below that look to be influenced by photos taken of L. Ron Hubbard.

Everyone is gathered at the book event in Phoenix now.  Dodd sits in a side room and is visibly nervous.  There is a church vibe to the event.  The Master (Dodd) comes out on stage to cheers from the crowd.  Freddie sits in the middle listening intensely with a yearnful look on his face, perhaps hoping Dodd has a huge secret to reveal.  Unfortunately, Dodd just basically says some of the same stuff he’s said before and Freddie looks let down. Anderson’s closeups on Phoenix in shallow depth of field continue to be revealing and look magnificent! Freddie paces afterwards behind the stage, looking lost, angry and confused.  As you look at him, his pants, shirt and shoes are way too big.  Maybe because he had to borrow some decent clothes from Dodd.  Phoenix walks with Freddie’s unusual gait like a wounded clown.  A friend of The Cause from New York, Bill, who we’ve seen before, reveals to Freddie he thinks the book stinks.  Freddie asks Bill to go outside with him and just completely snaps and slaps Bill hard multiple times.  There is something comical about this.  It’s as if Freddie’s been holding this monster at bay and then just releases it all on poor ole Bill.  Freddie has a history of lashing out at naysayers of The Cause but I don’t believe this is the main reason for the attack.  I think Freddie now knows he is not “cured” or “clear” like previously thought.  I think the lack of answers he felt he was going to get from Dodd’s speech and book pushed him to this, knowing deep down Dodd doesn’t have all the answers like he expected.  In the following scene, Laura Dern’s character sweetly approaches Dodd sitting alone on stage after the event.  She confronts him about something he has changed in the book regarding the processing and seems very confused.  Dodd has a comically loud, insecure outburst displaying his lack of patience and also his unacceptance of criticism.  Obviously, Freddie and Lancaster both simultaneously react harshly when The Cause is questioned despite the contrasting prior exercises practicing non-reactivity.

Freddie Runs

Now Freddie, Lancaster, Clark and Elizabeth drive a car and a motorcycle out to a deserted lake bed.  On a personal note, I shot my latest short film’s biggest scene in a lake bed very similar...so similar I had to look it up online to see if it was the same one. It was not.  Anyway, I remember in Roger Ebert’s review he seemed to be perplexed by this scene and what it represented. I just think Dodd decided it would be a good idea to get away and blow off some steam with a motorcycle after the stressful book event. I personally really like this scene.  It’s funny, it’s visually interesting and there is a danger to it.   Dodd explains the game is to pick a point and then drive the motorcycle to that point. Dodd does this first.  Now it’s Freddie’s turn.  Freddie takes off and speeds away. Dodd does this funny thing in closeup where he puts his hand up to block the sun, watching Freddie ride, then goes to say something, stops himself, then eventually ends up yelling, “Freddie!!”  It’s something so small but Hoffman makes it so interesting and humorous and it’s hard to explain why.  In my Short Film, I start my scene at this similar location with my hand up looking in the distance, as a nod to this scene with Hoffman (3rd photo).

Freddie is long gone with the bike.  Dodd’s best friend has left him.  “No Other Love” by Joe Stafford comes in perfectly here.  It’s such a melancholy end to the scene and I just feel the song compliments it so eloquently.  It’s my favorite song of the film because of this and is in the trailer.  Freddie goes to the house of the girl he loved before going to the war.  He finds out Dorris is married now with kids and lives in Alabama.  He finds this out by talking to Dorris’ mother. Freddie missed his shot. The scene is slightly comical due to the dichotomy between the sweet, mannerly mother and Freddie’s pressing roughness and gnarled face.  It’s something I always notice and enjoy watching.  We are transported now to Freddie asleep alone (most likely drunk) in a movie theater.  You can hear Casper the Friendly Ghost in the background and see the flicker of the big screen on the sleeping Freddie and the empty seats around him.  There has to be a reason for the choice of Casper the Ghost, but I have no interesting theory why.   A theater concierge brings a phone to Freddie after waking him up.  It’s Dodd.  Either this is a supernatural moment in the film in which Dodd just happens to know where Freddie is (because they’re “tied”) or Freddie is being followed Scientology-style.  Freddie nor us know how Dodd knew he was there.  This made me think of an interview (somewhere) with PTA saying sometimes details in a film don’t have to make sense or have a definite answer.   Dodd asks Freddie to come to England where he currently has a school.  He says he misses Freddie and says he can cure him.  My guess is he’s had someone find and follow Freddie...unless the Casper the Ghost reference somehow hints at the supernatural spiritual “tie” Dodd mentions between him and Freddie and Dodd just “knew” he was there...but my theory connecting this may be too far of a stretch.  

On a Slow Boat to China...

Freddie is once again traveling on a boat, which has become a motif... Freddie adrift. We see the recognizable deep aqua water paired perfectly with Greenwood’s score.  The music, once again, adds so much here, producing a sense of  longing and beauty.

Freddie arrives at the school looking haggard and gaunt.  Jesse Plemons’ character (Dodd’s son) greets him with a wry smile of familiarity which soon turns to concern after examining Freddie’s appearance.  They walk down the burgeoning school hallway to Dodd.

Freddie enters with wild eyes to Dodd’s grand office.  Peggy sits off to the side and Dodd at his desk.  Freddie hands Dodd some Kool cigarettes and they hug.  Peggy immediately asks Freddie if he’s drunk, says he looks sick and says he’s not interested in getting better.  She storms out.  The two men share a smile after she leaves, but Dodd’s hands are tied.   It’s worth mentioning Amy Adams (as Peggy) was also nominated for an Oscar for her role and plays a sort of antagonist to Freddie.  Dodd’s book was not well received by close peers and perhaps this was due to Freddie’s influence and she saw this, maybe encouraging Dodd to cut ties because of Freddie’s negative influence and lack of dedication to The Cause.    You can see here Dodd loves Freddie very much.  This is scene is so good!   There is a lot of heart and power here in these closeups.  Dodd loves Freddie’s freedom. Freddie depends on Dodd for structure and meaning and a place to stay.  Dodd then says my favorite lines of the film,  “For if you figure a way to live without serving a master...any master...then let the rest of us know, will you?” With the risk of over-explaining, I’ll dive in with my thoughts... Dodd seems to think everyone has a Master...an obligation, a social role and something transcending mammalian daily life to quench existential and spiritual need.  But does Freddie have a Master?  I think Dodd thinks if anyone might know how to live without one then it would be Freddie.  Would this make Freddie “The Master” and not Dodd? Who is the prophet? Dodd calls him “a man navigating the seas, going wherever he pleases, paying no rent” and you realize Freddie’s steadfast gaze reveals a mastery of something...especially according to Dodd.   The culmination here of bringing to consciousness the pair of opposites in character form proves to be the thesis of the film.  This is not a film with a traditional story (perhaps that Ebert hoped to understand clearly) but a special situation between two men and how they fit together like puzzle pieces...two sides of the same coin...to the point where one might think it’s possible they did in fact know each another in a past life. Dodd mentions this upon meeting Freddie for the first time and Freddie agrees there is a mutual recognition.   Two inverses folding into one another creating something whole, for better or worse. Dodd goes on to explain that he finally figured out where they met in a previous lifetime and says if they meet again in the next life they will be sworn enemies.  Again, there is a lovely naivete here...and said with such earnestness.  And as mentioned before, it is easy to like Dodd because you believe that he believes what he says, even though we, the audience, are speculative.  Again, this is not a film about trying to figure out the legitimacy of a cult but about two men trying to navigate the world the best they can.  Dodd goes into great detail about their past life association.  In appearance, Dodd is so regal, reserved and groomed...so certain!   Freddie is mangled, gaunt and lost.    Dodd now begins to sing, which is funny and heart-breaking at the same time. It’s as if this is the best way he knows to express how he feels in the moment.   I remember the first time I watched this film in the Laemlle Theatre and there were a few laughs here.  I also remember watching this part when I was staying with my Dad and Stepmom one Christmas on HBO.  I just flipped through the channels and saw this scene and stopped to watch.  My Dad had never seen the film but watched this part with me and also chuckled a bit...not in a “that’s ridiculous” way, but in a concentrated way due to the intensity of Hoffman’s performance here. As the scene carries on, I again begin to wonder if these two really did meet in a previous life.  Or maybe it’s just so powerful because they both BELIEVE this past life was real, believing in a pre-destined reason for their association in this lifetime. 

Freddie has now left Dodd. He is out of the office walking alone in a row of trees leaving the school.  He goes to a bar, meets an English woman and they go to a room and have sex.  Both are fully naked in a very human way lit in natural light.  Two hominids in an animalistic act following the parting of Dodd who rejects the animal side for the fully divine.    He playfully tells the woman he has to ask her some questions and she can’t blink.  The processing scene is obviously still with Freddie and obviously PTA is aware of the power that scene held to call it back.  She plays along for a little bit but laughs quickly and breaks.   Now waltz music plays, circling back to Freddie on the beach where he was at at the beginning of the film, laying next to the sand woman in oedipal longing.  Did he dream all of this?? I have watched the film around 10 times and have never thought about this as much as I have this time around.  Of course, it’s ambiguous, but it could very well be true. And he did mention to Dodd in the England office he had a dream, but never got a chance to explain what the dream was.  Dodd then went on to talk about their past life association.    Anyway...the interpretation that I had come to previously was that Freddie has gone on this journey, but has ended right back where he started, meaning no amount of processing or methods to change his behavior can change his determinism.  He is what he is.  In fear of repeating this too much (which is never overtly stated in the film) humans cannot escape the fact that they are also of the animal kingdom.  I believe the first shot of Freddie in the film mimicing the monkey introduces this idea.  And Anderson doesn’t seem to care if the audience gets this first, coded, specific detail, but I believe there are enough clues throughout the film to make the animal comparisons to come to the same interpretation, as I’ve pointed out above multiple times to really bring my point home. Also, Freddie cannot escape how he may have suffered in the war, nor the trauma of his childhood, nor the loss of his sweetheart, Dorris, as he lays next to the breasts of the manufactured woman made of earth as the tide rolls in and out.  This is still with him in his memories, shaping his present, whether he deals with it or not.        And, more broadly speaking, perhaps all of this striving us humans engage in for self-mastery, and the constant modifications to ourselves to reach some pinnacle of “perfection”, we have built in our own minds is futile.  We just go in this big circle, this journey and we end up right where we started.  Are we “better”?  Are we different?  Are we “cured”?    Maybe.  Maybe not. 

To conclude, I’d like to mention that I’ve discovered pre-determination has loomed large in all three films I’ve written about on this page.  I’m not sure if it’s me or the films, but it has been the big picture idea I’ve come to on all three.  It also makes me think how cinema itself is made possible, by showing and shaping a world, often overtaking the individual characters’ will.  I believe this tells us something vital about our reality...cinema expressing transcendent ideas that can swallow up egoic identification, which is why films like this stick with you, pointing to something larger at play within the individual rather than solely the idea we have of ourselves.