#i would like to know what enemy I'm meant to befriend and then bone....

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Honebon Debut: Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins

The year is 1992, and Nintendo is making a hit sequel to the video game Super Mario Land for the Nintendo Game Boy. The previous two games in the Super Mario series, Super Mario Land and Super Mario World were both massive hits, and if you know anything about video games, it's obvious why: both had Skeletal Fish Enemies!

If Super Mario Land 2 was to have a chance of succeeding at all, they'd have to include a Skeletal Fish Enemy. But they couldn't just bring back Honen or Fish Bone, no. It was the '90s! We needed a hip, new skeletal fish for Cool Teens!

And so, Honebon was born! Isn't the miracle of childbirth amazing? Unfortunately, Honebon was born a skeleton, which is always a bad sign, because as it turns out, Honebon was dead on arrival...

Now don't get me wrong, Honebon has a few distinct traits to separate it from its Skeletal Siblings. Its attack pattern is unique, since it moves in a zigzag shape instead of a straight line, and according to Perfect Ban Mario Character Daijiten, while Fish Bone is the type to hold a grudge, Honebon has an amiable disposition! So if you're ever looking to befriend a skeletal fish, let that be your guide!

I also think Honebon's name is really funny. It's a portmanteau of hone, the Japanese word for "bone," and the English word "bone". And despite the fact its name doubles down on this being a skeleton, all the official material seems to describe it as a Cheep Cheep's gh-gh-gh-ghost!

But even with all of that, it's clear that Honebon's story as a Mario enemy ended as soon as it began. Honebon was competing for a niche that had already been filled multiple times over. It's a real Spike Eel situation over here! Clearly, Mario games didn't need any more skeletal fish enemies...

Name: Jean de Fillet Debut: Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island

But just because they didn't need another, that doesn't mean they didn't want another! I mean, come on! None of the previous skeletal fish had names that were dated pop culture references, so clearly there was an untapped market there!

You think there wouldn't be much ground to cover with another skeletal fish enemy... and you would be right! There is not all that much unique about Jean de Fillet. Much like Fish Bone and Honebon, it is described as a skeletal Cheep Cheep, despite none of the three really having Cheep Cheep anatomy at all, and much like Honen, its attack pattern involves jumping up to attack Yoshi. They can swim through lava I guess, but I'm not really convinced the other skeletal fish can't do that.

You see what happened? They ran the well dry, and all the fish that were living in the well for some reason died. Nintendo was just left with a bunch of fish skeletons, and all they could do at that point was put them in Yoshi's Island! Sad! Many such cases.

But due to Yoshi's Island going on to become a whole series of its own, Jean de Fillet would have a little more staying power than Honen or Honebon. Which is to say it appeared in Yoshi's New Island, where it even gets a boss variant named Furious Fred de Fillet!

Now it's kind of debatable whether or not Yoshi's Island is mainline, but if you include it, that's four mainline entries in a row that each introduced a completely new skeletal fish enemy! Super Mario Land and Super Mario World both did it, and so would their sequels.

Did this madness ever end?!

Name: Bonefin Debut: Super Mario Galaxy

Not before they could sneak in just one more skeletal fish enemy! It had been over a decade since Jean de Fillet, and in that time it had become the future! That meant their next skeletal fish had to be made of metal. Everything is chrome in the future! (Reference to "Bob")

And since they had a whole new dimension to play with, we were no longer starved of unique attack patterns! Bonefins lock onto Mario, and charge in that direction until they either hit him or hit a wall and explode. (Reference to "Bob")

Bonefins solely appear in the Bonefin Galaxy. They serve as mooks to Kingfin, a giant Bonefin that appears to be actually made of bone! This boss fight is kinda all that exists in Bonefin Galaxy, but at least they got a whole galaxy to themselves, right?

This would mark the end of an era however, as when Super Mario Galaxy 2 rolled around, there was no new skeletal fish enemy to be seen. In fact, Bonefin would only cameo as a skeleton, which is obviously and very intentionally meant to represent the fact that regular new skeletal fish enemies are a thing of the past, a product of a bygone age...

Since then, the series has standardized Fish Bone as their skeletal fish of choice, as they made their grand return in New Super Mario Bros. Wii and have been a series staple ever since. In the process, however, they gained Bonefin's homing attack, letting them do a little more than be Cheep Cheeps for ghost houses and castles!

Is the lack of new skeletal fish enemies another disappointing example of Mario Homogenization? Or did they make the right call, picking a skeletal fish and sticking to it? I dunno. I am completely neutral towards this development.

[torse]

AU / headcanon scenes - "Military" excerpts

warning: there's some violence and Pathologic-tier dark themes but nothing super bad. I can't write for shit so it's not super descriptive anyway

—

⦁ Notkin and Grief lived in a town with an insane crime rate, huge wealth inequality, and unheard of levels of corruption in the government. ⦁ Notkin's mother died in childbirth ⦁ Notkin's father developed a chronic illness something-or-other (consumption? idk not important, sorry pop), became an alcoholic in despair ⦁ Notkin befriended Grief at a very young age (6?), and would get "medicine" for father every once in awhile (watered down booze) to help him ween off alcohol (once Grief figured out what was goin on ⦁ eventually dad figured it was best to join military and die out of sight rather than in front of his child so.. yeah that happened ⦁ Notkin waited around for him to return but once he got the letter, he disappeared, Grief finding him a bit later and taking him under his wing

—

⦁ they were COOL STREET CATS together ⦁ Notkin still loved animals, even said Grief was like a bird Grief: Like what, a crow? I do like the shinies.. eheh Notkin: No.. a vulture! Grief: Hah! Why, because I'm big, mean and ugly? Notkin: No.. because you keep things clean, only take what won't be missed, and.. are very important to the other animals. ⦁ Notkin still had his gang of kids and animals in a warehouse, but he interacted with grief much more than in game

—

⦁ Several years passed, eventually things got so out of control (despite Grief's efforts, he even succeeded to keep crime down in his territory), an inquisitor was sent to deal with the problem **At the time Notkin did not know this or even what it meant, but Grief had heard rumors ⦁ the military started smoking out the slums, ALL squatters / slum class were to be "forcefully evicted" ⦁ Grief made plans with his crew, made plans with Notkin to get his kids out, then they were to meet separately (from their gangs) on the "road by the docks" at dawn 2 days from now [intentionally vague ending]

—

⦁ in military service, Notkin started at 14, Sticky was probably 16? ⦁ Sticky was a field medic, Notkin worked his way up a bit and led a small unit thingy (idk military stuff), they ended up being best buds ⦁ Notkin's face scar (17 years?): an enemy had gotten into melee range, knocked Notkin to the ground, and had his knife to Notkin's eye.. but thankfully the baddie ended up losing the arm wrestlin match and Notkin pushed the knife away so that it grazed his cheek/nose instead ⦁ Notkin's leg (19 years?): Notkin's unit, as well as several others, were leaving a cleared area, Sticky was nearby behind him ⦁ Notkin started getting a Bad Feeling and yelled for everyone to HOLD UP. They hesitated and were confused? He wasn't really sure but... ⦁ He heard a whistling and started to yell for everyone to "spread out" but a mortar hit very close to him. more started showering the area ⦁ He got up and immediately tried to help other people, ears ringing, Sticky was yelling at him to stop, but Notkin could barely hear him over the adrenaline and everything else- Sticky was next to him now, screaming, Notkin tried to tell him to piss off, but he looked at Sticky's horror-stricken face - Sticky: BRO. BRO, STOP. NOTKIN, PLEASE Notkin: WHAT Sticky: YOUR FUCKIN LEG Notkin, looking down, sees a minced meat patty with some bone splinters: ....AH. ⦁ Then he goes for a nice "nap" (passes the fuck out) and wakes up in the med tent minus a leg and is insufferable for the next few weeks bored out of his mind. ⦁ Sticky is impossibly patient and gives in way too easily to Notkin's requests. ⦁ Sticky and Notkin (and the whole unit) got discharged after that, Notkin went with Sticky to his home city since he didn't have anywhere else

—

⦁ They're like,20 now? ionno the ages are a vague range I need to rewrite this part so I'll give an even shittier than normal summary: Sticky's in a home owned by Artemy, but wants to go intern with him soon after he recovers from his own injuries. but Notkin won't be able to work / afford food without him. Sticky starts poking around town to see how much a prosthetic might cost (he has crutches now, and can definitely do SOME work, but no education, still healing injuries, and people are dicks and won't give him a chance ) Long story short they end up at a watch shop. With Grief at the counter. And he doesn't seem to remember Notkin well. And Notkin's brain 404s. Grief can't make actual prosthetics, he only has tools for small devices, but he knows a guy that can probably make something. Grief asks what kind of prosthetic, Sticky gestures to Notkin and says his leg. Notkin finally speaks up and is desperately trying to figure out why Grief left him, why doesn't he remember him now, and says that he was forced to join the military- even though he hated the soldiers for taking his home and the military for taking his dad. the city had locked everything down to the point where Notkin could no longer scavenge for food. He was literally starving to death and chose to sacrifice his pride to stay alive. He had to do a bit of begging to get the recruiter to accept a starving 14 year old but in the end he got food and shelter. and lost a leg :( While Notkin was having A Time, Grief had been nabbed by the inquistors. I've run out of creativity for this part so "they fucked his brain up real good". He tends to talk like he's repeating things he might say, rather than having genuine emotions

—

Grief ends up remembering Notkin enough that he offers a room so that Sticky can go intern and Notkin can recover (he has to heal up more and do some leg exercises and shit before he can use the prosthetic) Unfortunately they have to re-bond, and Notkin had a bad habit of shoving all the bad feelings down so eventually he crumbles with depression and post-war awfulness. Grief has NO idea how to deal with this. some funny shenanigans happen too though, its definitely not all bad. and Grief starts showing more and more genuine emotion around Notkin. Healing all around ~

[the-peachpit]

NO SHIPPING

Wanring: Blood, Very loose interpretation of the dream smp lore lol

Summary:Technoblade Get's To Dream Before Quakity, Before Time Is Altered By Dream. Before Tommy Has A Chance To Return.

Notes:Hi! I'm really nervous to be writing for this group. I tried hard to respect boundaries using a master post on tumblr to double check. if I over stepped anywhere or was wrong in my interpretation let me know.

It wasn’t his fault. The blood on his hands meant nothing cooling and seeping into his fur. Fur. He hadn’t even noticed that he’d transformed back. Was it that easy for him now to lose control?

Stumbling his way into his home inviting the snow on his heels Technoblade let the door shut enveloping the room in darkness, not even the moon was out tonight. Limping like the beast he was Techno lit a torch on the wall with shaky hands. He caught a glimpse of himself in the small hall mirror the deep cut in his snout darkening his pink fur grungy and matting. It’d been so long since he’d returned to his true piglin form. He wasn’t a beast; he was a man. He lived like a man; he grew up among great men. His father was the best man he knew, and his brothers- men of action and determination. Skirting a fine line into madness over their pride, maybe his brothers were beasts, and maybe he played a part as the eldest. Hearing voices, unable to control his shapeshifting, giving into the voices and pushing Wilbur a little too hard outside. Maybe he had been the plague, but he changed. God he had changed. Refining himself in the image of those around him wanting nothing more than peace among the outskirts and land of his own to farm.

Now he stood covered in blood that wasn’t just his huffing his snout fogging the glass. Where did he go wrong? Was it demeaning his brothers dreams? To be leaders, Wilbur was always meant for something great, and even Philza could see it fostering his natural leader instinct. Sometimes it felt like Wilbur was the eldest. The way he would stir up Tommy for a laugh, but always taught the boy to be patient and gentle. How he took care of Technoblade when the voices demanded blood and his hand twitched over his sword. The way Wilbur had found techno doubled over in the closet scratching at the wooden floor with claws piercing long marks. At that point Techno had been in his human form for a while but was losing control that night with Philza out of town. Techno was supposed to protect his brothers. Instead, he chucked his sword to the corner so he wouldn’t be the one to end their lives as his piglin form emerged. Wilbur was slow, but fearless as he spoke softly placing a hand over Techno’s. it was the warmest he’d ever felt. Wilbur told Techno he trusted him, that his brother could never hurt him piglin or not. Wilbur promised to always be louder than the voices. How fast L’manburg had risen and fallen. Techno almost couldn’t believe it when he heard the news. Wilbur had been exiled from all he loved. Instead of coming home Techno found Wilbur and Tommy looking battered and defeated in a cave. Techno’s heart broke seeing them look so dull he offered to help. When he handed Wilbur his first sword techno ignored the flame he saw, the glint in his brother’s eye. He should have said something, instead he led his brothers charge into battle sealing their fates unknowingly.

When Wilbur died Techno felt like his own life had been taken from him. He watched his brother die at the hands of his father and there was no good in the world anymore, nothing mattered. He wanted to scream, but instead scowled hiding himself away. Until his youngest brother betrayed him. Voices seared his brain and Techno knew releasing those withers was a bad idea, but he was so angry. Betrayed by the boy with wheat colored hair who shot for the stars letting nothing stand in his way. The boy who followed his older brother anywhere even into madness. Techno felt like he had no family after that. When he got home from that battle as L’manburg burned he felt the sting of it all. The blood on his hands was almost Tommy’s.

Techno smashed the mirror forcing himself to transform, to see the human hand covered in blood. He was a person. With little strength left he popped back to a pink furry beast. He continued to light his small home trudging to the bathroom. His clothes were torn in spots partially from the transformation. Forcing himself to turn again he saw the damage to his human complexion, the dark bags under his eyes, the scar on his snout ran from the right underside of his cheek to under his left eye. A trophy of sorts.

Techno cleaned his wounds slowly, deliberately, letting himself feel the sting of antiseptic. He deserved it- to hurt like they hurt. Changing his clothes and moving to the living room techno lit his fireplace when the vase in the corner of the room caught his eye. It was filled with various flowers from Ranboo who would generously give them away when Techno would visit Tubbo mostly to see Tommy. Techno never understood why Tommy had forgiven Tubbo for anything, and so easily at that. Techno had gotten revenge on Tubbo watching blood seep from his face by his own hands and still wasn’t satisfied by the punishment. In fact, Tommy was ruining it, because when Techno saw Tommy make Tubbo smile moving the burn scars on his face Techno felt weird. Remorse? Tommy was a spitfire who never thought anything through including befriending the enemy. Techno wondered if in the end he was an enemy? The thought squeezed his heart like a vice.

Techno looked at the chair in the middle of the room, he’d wanted to read a book and call it a night, his bones ached, and his head throbbed. Was he getting too old for this? Fighting everyone, why was he stilled pulled into this? He asked to be left alone, it’s all he wanted.

Huffing he knew he couldn’t just sit there. Opening the front door, he grabbed his coat before walking towards the stables stomping through the snow to his polar bear. It would make the trip faster, and Tubbo enjoyed seeing his pet. It would make things, easier.

Ridding through the dark with just the gentle glow of the stars to guide him Techno let the blistering cold nip at his face. To perk him up or make him feel alive he wasn’t sure. He rode through the frozen tundra watching the snow melt to warmer climates. It was spring where Tubbo lived a new life. He never locked himself away. Knocking on the door Techno waited unsure what he could even say when he saw the charred face of the small ram boy.

“Do you have any god damn idea what time it,” Tubbo’s curses slowed as he rubbed his eyes taking in the sight of his former foe.

“I’m not sure time’s been a blur tonight,” Techno shrugged.

“Why are you here?”

Techno could practically hear Tubbo’s teeth grinding.

“I just want to talk about,” Techno sighed, “Tommy.”

“Leave,” Tubbo’s normally cheerful voice sent shivers through Techno’s spine.

“I will just,” Techno stood straighter saving face his 7-foot frame usually kept him brave.

“Leave!” Tubbo shouted, “Tommy’s dead! I had his funeral and, where were you? Couldn’t be bothered to show up! Did you even know?”

Techno felt it the crack in his heart, he knew Tommy was dead. He was probably one of the last to hear in passing from Ranboo before being left on his own in his self-made snowy dungeon. His hell he personally crafted. He didn’t sulk at first, it sunk in over a glass of whisky, his youngest brother had been beaten to death in a prison he was never meant to be in. The brother he had cleaned scrapes for and applied bandages. The brother he taught how to fight and had dinner with hearing his plans for his future. Tommy, the boy with wheat colored hair who shone like the sun. It wasn’t fair. His light was snuffed out in a cold dark place at the hand of his tormentor from day one. Beaten to death. Techno couldn’t get over it. He smashed his glass and knocked his bookcases to the ground. Beaten to death! Brutal, soulless, painful. God Tommy was probably in so much pain. Pain Techno couldn’t protect him from or make better. He died alone.

“I killed him,” Techno’s voice was a whisper that stung.

“What?” Tubbi stuttered.

“I killed Dream,” Techno looked at his hands he could still see the blood.

“I don’t,” Tubbo stepped forward driven by curiosity.

“I went to the prison,” Techno shouted, “I kicked the crap out of Sam, and I killed Dream!” He ran his hand frantically through his messy pink hair, “I was just going to talk to him, but I saw Tommy’s body, and I had my axe.”

Tommy’s eyes were milky a far cry from his curious blue gaze. His face was bruised and bloodied. He looked so cold not even the lava could warm him. Dream just sat there welcoming Techno assuming he was a break out party. The voices screamed demanding blood, and Techno obliged happily. With a fierce swing Techno planted his axe between Dreams ribs.

“He laughed,” Techno smiled, “The damn bastard cackled as I slaughtered him. All he did was scratch me once as I lost control and mauled him.”

“Kinda looks like he scratched you pretty good,” Tubbo observed the large scar.

“Heh,” Techno laughed, “I guess.”

“Did you come all the way here just to tell me this?” Tubbo leaned against the door frame.

“I want to know if you’ve seen Philza,” Techno asked, “I brought back Tommy’s body, it’s in the snow at my place. I want to bury him properly. Him and Wilbur. I’m not sure if Philza knows about Tommy yet, and I should be the one to tell him.”

Philza hadn’t talked about Wilbur either since the tragedy. Techno wanted to walk about that too.

Tubbo nodded, “Let me talk to Ranboo, I’ll be back out.”

The plan was set in motion. Tubbo accompanied Techno back to his house refusing to look at Tommy’s corpse and Techno couldn’t blame Tubbo. They rode for a day and a half returning to the small cabin Techno remembered growing up in. He could hear the laughter of Tommy and Wilbur echo on the breeze that rustled the trees. He saw Philza standing on the deck looking down at them. When did he get so old? He looked so tired. He knew.

No words were exchanged as Techno dismounted his polar bear and Philza descended the stairs. Techno tried his best to make the words come to him. He was told he always had a way with words. Before he could open his mouth, strong arms embraced him. They were warm and comforting. They felt like support. Slowly Techno raised his arms grabbing onto Philza’s shirt hands balled into firsts. When was the last time they were this close?

Tommy and Wilbur were buried in the back of the house under the tree Tommy had fallen out of breaking his arm. Under the tree Wilbur wrote songs on lazy afternoons. Under the tree Techno taught his brothers how to wield a sword and be strong. The tree they grew under.

“Welcome home Theseus.”