#i would like to go on hormones in this nightmare anti-trans state I would like to save up to move out of my parents house

[mokeonn]

Job hunting is an absolute nightmare because it's like I have a million reasons to need this job and the money from it and it's basically like telling the job that I'm pretty much their bitch because I need the money, and they'll just reject you because you didn't downright worship a company or bc you were honest on the application personality quiz

[gedankenkollekte]

Translation - Letter to Schwulenberatung Berlin regarding violence & discrimination in first LGBT - Refugee Asylum of the City

[Annotation: This is an automatic translation for the moment and will be improved in some days]

Dear persons of the gay counseling (”Schwulenberatung”), dear people of the district office Treptow Köpenick, dear people of the LAF, as well as the NGO human rights groups ATME e.V. and Antigenitalist Offensive, dear human rights lawyer M.B*., Unfortunately, the situation in the so-called "LGBT Refugeeheim" in the *** str. XX in Berlin, even after our complaints not significantly improved. [Note: Our friend was u.a. with violent men in a room, she was u.a. harassed by social workers, suffered from sleep deprivation, anxiety, etc.] To give an insight into what happened, I will describe the happenings in bullet points: - Our friend P. complained for months about your momentous accommodation in the "LGBT home" in Treptow-Köpenick. She was there with men in a room, these would z.T. act violently against them.

On several occasions articulated criticism of the accommodation and the desire to accommodate in another room was in most (all?) Cases of home management and social workers in pressure on them and other attempts to silence them. ("Find yourself an apartment, you only disturb us here", "show us which apartments you have looked at this week", "this person is not allowed in this room, this room is only for 'biological women' [sic! ] "). In the presence of our friends from the AGO Berlin was confirmed by the social worker A. in a discriminatory manner that our friend was due to transphober / genitalist criteria with [violent!] Men in a room. ("There are reasons why we have housed her with men"). In addition to unsettle the woman, the social workers of the home have in recent weeks to make it to our friend to make believe that it is not at the persons stationed in the room z.T. men, but all of them are "trans women". ("They're all women like you, why are you complaining?" "How do you know they're men?" "You see - you're the one who acts badly and thinks you're discriminating here, not us") In addition, her complaints about the nightly volume of people in the room until late at night, because she was suffering from permanent insomnia, fell asleep with me and could not go to school for a long time (she got direct medical reports, because you immediately saw that their psychological and health condition was miserable by the accommodation) ignored by the social workers, dubbed or her for weeks, over more than a month, false hopes for an immediate accommodation in a non-violent woman and single room, which ultimately not, not even after our complaints, were complied with.

In addition, social workers confronted her and forced her to talk to them, even though she said that she did not want to do so at the time. intimidated and asked to speak no criticism or demands on the home more. We have statements that point to a regularity of such measures in other homeowners. Our friend is very suffering from the consequences of housing, esp. The physical violence and threats of violence against her, symptoms are u.a. Nightmares, severe shaking, crying, anxiety, insomnia, suicidal thoughts, depression, inability to attend school. - It was also particularly drastic that the men brought with her were i.d.R. until night at four or five did not sleep, on the other hand is required by her to go to a school to learn German. Because of this, and because of the inadequate care and counseling offered by gay counseling, the home and social workers, she was afraid to fly away from school and lose her asylum and be sent back to her country of origin, also because a teacher said there had "who is missing for more than 10 days, whether with or without a certificate, gets immediately kicked from school". - Out of sympathy and because of the situation / her state of health due to sleep deprivation was always extremely tense, I let the woman sleep in my apartment and slept on those days elsewhere, which was increasingly becoming a problem for me to cope with my own everyday life. She slept in the last weeks, since about 1 ½ months, before that less often, often with me or friends and co-activists of our NGO group. Z.T. she also slept with men who then sexually harassed her ("still better than at home with these men who are loud and violent").

Also, misunderstandings were made among her and residents of the home, ia. in their room, you are interpreted as "racist utterances" and used against them, although we know that our girlfriend has firmly rejected racism and has even in the past committed and expressed anti-fascist views. Thus, a roommate felt in the home n. Discriminated against their statements, because P. after their request, the window in the room not immediately opened / closed (?) And have patterned them several times longer. The roommate interpreted this as racism and complained to the social workers. which in turn put extra massive pressure on our friend.

- Another roommate was introduced to me, who stated that she had been assaulted and bloody beaten up by her housemaids half a year ago in the home, whereupon the home management, with the support of the social workers, only wanted to react with a thrown out on the street the next day Cover up the case or protect yourself from criticism. The previously wg. Escape reasons badly traumatized, anxiety-disturbed and depressed woman live only in the accommodation only because they have repeatedly called the police and have resisted with hands and feet against this blatant Rauswurfsversuch. In further discussions (including with the home management) we (our group, I was not directly present, but my friends) found that the counseling and care offered by this severely anxiety-disturbed, traumatized and depressed woman continued (for over 2 years). It is so bad that no one cares about their frequently formulated urgent needs for counseling / petitioning on civil status and first name change, their applications for genital adjustment surgery, their lack of psychological and psychotherapeutic support (which would also be essential for these applications), so that these were largely unsuccessful (due in part to undisclosed counseling services and the failure to translate important letters and documents, although an in-house interpreter [!!!] was missed) and the woman remained isolated, depressed and with no prospect of any improvement in her condition and with the fear, abobe n, spending their lives mostly in a darkened single room in this home. Amongst other things she had applied for the reimbursement of a genital altering surgery from the health insurance company with the help of a translator, which was refused because of non-compliance with the time limits. This happened because no one had translated their letters, nobody went to their legal counseling with the woman suffering from a strong social phobia, no one helped her get a bill for the legal advice, no one told her what she needed to do To achieve the reimbursement, no one had developed with her an adequate strategy to solve her legal and medical problems.

Therefore, friends from our activist group went with this woman in recent weeks to various counseling services, including. the legal advice in the Yorckstaße, the advice center GLADT, the advice center Les Migras, as well as to physicians and mediated also dates and inquiries to psychotherapeutic practices and advice centers wg. Indications to genital-altering measures, support / assessment of the change of name etc. Currently (about 3 weeks) every working day (Mon - Fri.) someone from our group during the day for several hours been busy, one of the women from the home at u.a. Courses on legal advice, doctor's office, lawyer, psychotherapy, judicial office of the District Office Treptow-Köpenick, or similar. to accompany them, because they would not have been able to express themselves there adequately, nor can be advised. It became clear to us that the women we had accompanied for months, perhaps since they arrived at the home, lacked essential counseling, competent care, education and mental support to consciously and purposefully improve their chances of a decent life without discriminating documents medical care, problems of integration, hopelessness, unmanageability of their legal and financial / asylum-related situation and possibly some one-time counseling offers were conveyed, but then they were not continued (among others by missing an interpreting person, not translating documents / invitations / deadline suggestions), which by no means accommodated women or (as unilaterally articulated by the home management !!) their alleged "unwillingness" [sic!] is to be charged. We expressly want to point out that these tasks are not our tasks and the gay counseling [note: she is the bearer of the home and is paid for by the state], as well as the social workers in the home and the home management are responsible for ensuring that all (! !!) people in this home in their urgent concerns after ua the receipt of non-discriminatory documents (i.e. a change of first name and personal status), health-promoting medical measures (hormones, genital and other body-altering measures, voice therapy, blood tests, etc.) and all other essential measures for mental and physical health. They are paid for that. We will not and will not have the opportunity to accompany, advise and care for women for longer. If the health care situation does not change immediately, women will not be able to contest their asylum procedures or asylum procedures (in one case), nor will they be able to petition for an urgently-indicated genital altering surgery, thus losing any chance of improvement in their blatant miserable mental and social condition, which I would like to describe as clearly worrying.

We would like to express our horror that in a so-called "LGBT home", which is publicly unilaterally celebrated as a positive example of humane accommodation among multiple discriminators of suffering refugees, not even the most basic and self-evident needs of under genitalist discrimination (false names and gender entries due genital sexism in state and legal systems, etc.), and so-called "trans women" are denied the right to appropriate treatment and care (legal, psychological / pastoral, medical, translating, non-discriminatory), instead people in the home Workers who openly discriminate against women with non-normative female genitalia, including outsiders !! We therefore call for an immediate takeover of these not by us as activist NGOs, but those paid for by the state, essential support and counseling support measures and the respective urgently needed presence of persons with sufficient language skills to translate the counseling and writing respectively , We would also like to point out that we the leaflets, jobs and flyers in the home regarding the education and mediation offer on topics such as legal advice, medical measures, protection against discrimination, protection against other violence, civil status and first name changes, translations, help to Hartz IV issues are inadequate and, especially given the fact that counseling centers, support and care by the social workers and the home management themselves are not taught even after calls, it is urgently necessary to change this lack of information in the home to the housed there the opportunity to enable a decent life without discrimination, medical care difficulties and help with problems and violence.

- In addition, there was a conversation between activists of our group and a now relocated, also very suffering from the consequences of poor housing in the home and the psychoterror by social workers Transmannes from Russia, the u.a. on record stated that he "came to this home as a psychologically healthy person and came out as a mental wreck because of the conditions there." He stated that, despite immense difficulties, he had done everything to move to another home and now he was extremely happy to live somewhere else because he had been intimidated, discriminated against and harassed (the people who work there). Although he expressed great interest in contributing through statements and a report to a change in the conditions in this home, but he did not know whether he was psychologically able to do so. - When our friend and co-activist SEL *, who was present at our two home-based meetings and the conversation with social worker "A." in the home, and was always objective, respectful, and cooperative, wanted to visit the home earlier this week, showed when you register at the bottom of the security room (you have to register with ID, if you want to go to the home, it will record visit times, name and address, which you have to sign), an unknown man with glasses and beard on them and gave her house without giving reasons. I would like to criticize this renewed intimidation attempt by home and gay counseling and urge the home management and the gay counseling to repeal the ban immediately. - In addition, the gay advice responded each time to our letters in which we the states. under which our friends live, described:     We have received their message, but refuse us to the allegations described therein. For privacy reasons, we can not give any further information. Nevertheless, we forwarded the complaint to LAF Quality Management / Complaints Management for further clarification, with which we discuss the way forward.     Yours sincerely, (…)" Then nothing happened anymore. We also call for improved and independent quality assurance with regard to the psychological, social and medical situation of the people accommodated in the home and the possibility, in the case of u.a. Discrimination, intimidation and ignorance of articulated key needs n. Counseling, medical / psychotherapeutic care, legal support, etc. by social workers and / or home management or gay counseling should be addressed directly to independent entities or persons within the home, e.g. on certain days. Should gay advocacy, which was also described as difficult, uncooperative and ignorant to any criticism of their lack of care by a counselor in our counseling, continue to be incompetent and insensitive to the exercise of their mental health care mission social inclusion and promoting the opportunities for a decent life of the people housed in their homes, we call for an early change of the institution of this home.

We also point to the importance of the case, because this home is the first in Berlin its role model role model. We are shocked by the idea of ​​expanding such conditions and alleged "non-jurisdictions" to all future homes. Yours sincerely, Sunan A. *, Zara Paz, S. *, SEL * and friends     * Names and addresses shortened or changed

[tragicbooks]

14 eye-opening comics about life as a transgender person.

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll get a greater understanding of what it's like being trans.

When Seattle-area artist Jessica U. started making comics about her life after coming out as transgender, she never thought she'd get the response she did.

After falling out with some close friends, finding that even family would get very easily annoyed with her, and losing two jobs in a row, she needed some kind of outlet to vent her frustrations.

"Everyone made me feel like it was all my fault, like transphobia inside them simply couldn't exist because they pledged their support for me at one point," she says. "I really started to believe that I turned into the awful person and worker many said I become. But when I started drawing the comics about transphobia, other trans people responded immediately, saying that they've been through a lot of the same stuff."

It's been YEARS. But I still wonder about the friends I used to have who abandoned me after my transition. I'm just a sentimental person. http://pic.twitter.com/EmuNWAQelQ

— Jessica Nightmare (@JesskaNightmare) June 4, 2017

She kept writing, drawing, and finding her audience. While she doesn't necessarily make her comic for people unfamiliar with trans issues, if someone learns something new, that's a great bonus.

Here are 14 of Jessica's best comics about her life as a trans woman.

Maybe you'll get a chuckle out of them or maybe you'll learn something new — or better yet, both!

(Psst: If you're unfamiliar with any of the terms used in these comics, check out this awesome glossary of trans-related words on author Julia Serano's website.)

1. Workplace harassment is real, even if it's not always intentional.

According to a 2015 survey by the National Center for Transgender Equality, 30% of all trans people in the workforce had been fired, denied a promotion, or harassed at work for being trans. There's no federal law that explicitly protects people on the basis of gender identity, though some have argued in court that the ban on sex-based discrimination in the Civil Rights Act should apply. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

2. If you're an ally, remember to treat trans people as people. Be cool, be kind.

If you want to be a good ally, read this! Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

3. Explaining gender dysphoria is tricky, but think of it this way...

Gender dysphoria — a kind of dissonance between the gender you are and the one you were assigned at birth — can be especially difficult. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

4. "Trans broken arm syndrome" is real, it's a pain in the butt, and it's also a public health issue.

"Trans broken arm syndrome" is what happens when trans people go to the doctor for something completely and totally unrelated to them being trans (for example, a broken arm) and are told that it's probably the result of their hormone treatments. It's not fun, and it makes actually getting treated for something (a cold, the flu, strep throat, and everything else you can imagine) a lot harder than it needs to be. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

5. Sometimes people just don't get why what might seem like a minor annoyance is actually a pretty big deal.

Jessica's comic on this subject came out back when a "Caitlyn Jenner" Halloween costume was being marketed to men, and yeah, that was pretty awful. It was about more than just that one costume; it was also the fact that the costume pushed a stereotype about trans women being burly men. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

6. Singular "they" is perfectly acceptable, and it shouldn't be a big deal if you're asked to use it.

Most people actually use singular "they" all the time in their speech whenever they don't know the gender of the person they're talking about. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

7. It's not fun when other people try to create criteria for what it means to be a man or a woman.

Jessica's premise — an ally who says that he'll only call a trans woman "she" if she's had gender-confirmation surgery — is super-relatable and messed up for a bunch of reasons. For one, that seems to suggest that people should have to announce what their genitals look like if they want to be called the correct pronouns. Just take people at their word. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

8. Sometimes questions get really personal really fast.

"What do your genitals look like?" "How do you have sex?" "Can I see a 'before' picture?" "What's your 'real' name?" These are all kind of personal questions that can be really, really uncomfortable to have to address — especially when the person asking is someone you just met. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

9. Pronouns and names are important.

As a trans person myself, it can be really hard for me to believe that someone truly accepts me for who I am if they continue to refer to me by the wrong name and pronouns behind my back. It gives the impression that the other person doesn't actually accept me but is merely humoring me when I'm around. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

10. Attacks on trans rights are happening all around us. This is where allies are really needed.

And yes, the situation described in the comic actually happened. North Carolina, Texas, and other states have experienced or are experiencing some pretty intense anti-trans messaging to push for discriminatory laws. The truth is that the common argument that policies protecting trans people's rights to be able to use public restrooms will be exploited by cisgender men "pretending to be trans" to sexually assault women isn't actually backed up by data — so they create situations, which is majorly messed up. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

11. The "debate" about whether trans people are legitimate finds its way to newspaper opinion pages and TV segments on a frustratingly regular basis.

It seems like just every few weeks a major media outlet in the U.S. or Europe will publish some variation on "What Makes a Woman?" or "Are Trans Activists Going Too Far?" The totally bizarre thing is that these stories tend to use the same arguments over and over and over and — well, you get the idea. It's pretty frustrating to have your existence talked about as an abstract hypothetical when there are so many very important, real things happening in the world. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

12. Compliments can have a way of taking weird turns — and often aren't compliments at all.

"I would have never guessed" is a common "compliment" people say to trans people, but that's just because there's this idea that trans women and trans men all look "visibly trans." The truth is that trans people are everywhere, and even if you don't think you know a trans person, you probably do. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

13. There's the whole "Oh no, is my existence going to be the punchline again?" anxiety when it comes to watching, well, anything.

"Ace Ventura," "Silence of the Lambs," "The Crying Game," and more; there's no shortage of less-than-sensitive entertainment that either uses trans people as a surprise twist or a cheap joke. Honestly, it wouldn't be that bad if not for the fact that there really aren't a whole lot of positive portrayals to counter the negative. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

14. It's difficult to be pigeonholed as "the trans person." People are complex, and not every trans person spends every waking moment thinking about trans-ness in the world.

We're all more than just our gender, trans people included. But seriously, it can be exhausting to constantly have to explain who you are to the world like a sentient encyclopedia of gender. It's just something worth keeping in mind. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

Check out the rest of Jessica's comics at ManicPixieNightmareGirls.com and visit her Patreon page for more exclusive content.

[vernicle]

14 eye-opening comics about life as a transgender person.

[ad_1]

You can expect to laugh, you can expect to cry, you can expect to get a increased understanding of what it can be like being trans.

When Seattle-place artist Jessica U. started off generating comics about her existence soon after coming out as transgender, she by no means imagined she'd get the response she did.

Soon after falling out with some close friends, getting that even family would get pretty simply annoyed with her, and shedding two employment in a row, she wanted some kind of outlet to vent her frustrations.

"Anyone built me feel like it was all my fault, like transphobia inside of them simply just could not exist since they pledged their aid for me at a single position," she suggests. "I really started off to think that I turned into the terrible person and employee lots of said I become. But when I started off drawing the comics about transphobia, other trans individuals responded immediately, saying that they've been by a good deal of the very same stuff."

It's been Yrs. But I continue to marvel about the friends I made use of to have who deserted me soon after my transition. I am just a sentimental person. http://pic.twitter.com/EmuNWAQelQ

— Jessica Nightmare (@JesskaNightmare) June four, 2017

She held writing, drawing, and getting her viewers. Even though she will not automatically make her comedian for individuals unfamiliar with trans difficulties, if a person learns a thing new, which is a excellent reward.

Below are fourteen of Jessica's greatest comics about her existence as a trans female.

Maybe you can expect to get a chuckle out of them or it's possible you can expect to understand a thing new — or much better nonetheless, the two!

(Psst: If you're unfamiliar with any of the conditions made use of in these comics, verify out this magnificent glossary of trans-linked text on writer Julia Serano's web site.)

1. Workplace harassment is real, even if it can be not normally intentional.

According to a 2015 survey by the Countrywide Centre for Transgender Equality, 30% of all trans individuals in the workforce experienced been fired, denied a promotion, or harassed at work for being trans. You can find no federal regulation that explicitly guards individuals on the basis of gender identification, nevertheless some have argued in courtroom that the ban on intercourse-dependent discrimination in the Civil Legal rights Act must use. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Ladies.

two. If you're an ally, remember to address trans individuals as individuals. Be cool, be kind.

If you want to be a very good ally, examine this! Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Ladies.

3. Explaining gender dysphoria is challenging, but consider of it this way...

Gender dysphoria — a kind of dissonance involving the gender you are and the a single you have been assigned at delivery — can be especially challenging. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Ladies.

four. "Trans broken arm syndrome" is real, it can be a soreness in the butt, and it can be also a community wellness challenge.

"Trans broken arm syndrome" is what comes about when trans individuals go to the medical doctor for a thing totally and completely unrelated to them being trans (for case in point, a broken arm) and are told that it can be most likely the result of their hormone treatment options. It's not exciting, and it helps make in fact getting dealt with for a thing (a cold, the flu, strep throat, and anything else you can visualize) a good deal tougher than it demands to be. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Ladies.

5. From time to time individuals just don't get why what might seem to be like a small annoyance is in fact a quite large offer.

Jessica's comedian on this issue came out back again when a "Caitlyn Jenner" Halloween costume was being promoted to males, and yeah, that was quite terrible. It was about much more than just that a single costume it was also the truth that the costume pushed a stereotype about trans girls being burly males. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Ladies.

six. Singular "they" is beautifully acceptable, and it shouldn't be a large offer if you're questioned to use it.

Most individuals in fact use singular "they" all the time in their speech whenever they don't know the gender of the person they're speaking about. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Ladies.

7. It's not exciting when other individuals try to produce standards for what it implies to be a gentleman or a female.

Jessica's premise — an ally who suggests that he'll only simply call a trans female "she" if she's experienced gender-affirmation surgical treatment — is super-relatable and messed up for a bunch of explanations. For a single, that appears to recommend that individuals must have to announce what their genitals look like if they want to be identified as the accurate pronouns. Just take individuals at their word. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Ladies.

8. From time to time thoughts get really private really quick.

"What do your genitals look like?" "How do you have intercourse?" "Can I see a 'before' image?" "What is your 'real' title?" These are all kind of private thoughts that can be really, really uncomfortable to have to deal with — especially when the person asking is a person you just satisfied. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Ladies.

9. Pronouns and names are significant.

As a trans person myself, it can be really really hard for me to think that a person definitely accepts me for who I am if they proceed to refer to me by the wrong title and pronouns guiding my back again. It presents the effect that the other person will not in fact take me but is simply humoring me when I am all around. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Ladies.

10. Assaults on trans rights are going on all all around us. This is exactly where allies are really wanted.

And certainly, the circumstance explained in the comedian in fact took place. North Carolina, Texas, and other states have seasoned or are suffering from some quite powerful anti-trans messaging to drive for discriminatory guidelines. The fact is that the typical argument that guidelines shielding trans people's rights to be ready to use community restrooms will be exploited by cisgender males "pretending to be trans" to sexually assault girls isn't really in fact backed up by knowledge — so they produce cases, which is majorly messed up. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Ladies.

11. The "debate" about whether trans individuals are legit finds its way to newspaper opinion internet pages and Tv segments on a frustratingly common basis.

It appears like just just about every couple of weeks a key media outlet in the U.S. or Europe will publish some variation on "What Can make a Lady?" or "Are Trans Activists Likely As well Much?" The completely weird point is that these stories are likely to use the very same arguments in excess of and in excess of and in excess of and — well, you get the plan. It's quite disheartening to have your existence talked about as an summary hypothetical when there are so lots of pretty significant, real points going on in the world. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Ladies.

12. Compliments can have a way of taking weird turns — and usually aren't compliments at all.

"I would have by no means guessed" is a typical "compliment" individuals say to trans individuals, but which is just since you will find this plan that trans girls and trans males all look "visibly trans." The fact is that trans individuals are everywhere, and even if you don't consider you know a trans person, you most likely do. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Ladies.

13. You can find the full "Oh no, is my existence heading to be the punchline again?" anxiousness when it arrives to watching, well, just about anything.

"Ace Ventura," "Silence of the Lambs," "The Crying Sport," and much more you will find no lack of much less-than-delicate amusement that possibly makes use of trans individuals as a shock twist or a affordable joke. Truthfully, it would not be that lousy if not for the truth that there really aren't a full good deal of optimistic portrayals to counter the negative. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Ladies.

fourteen. It's challenging to be pigeonholed as "the trans person." Folks are advanced, and not just about every trans person spends just about every waking second contemplating about trans-ness in the world.

We're all much more than just our gender, trans individuals incorporated. But significantly, it can be exhausting to continually have to explain who you are to the world like a sentient encyclopedia of gender. It's just a thing worthy of maintaining in intellect. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Ladies.

Verify out the rest of Jessica's comics at ManicPixieNightmareGirls.com and pay a visit to her Patreon webpage for much more exceptional written content.

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[morlock-holmes]

Is that... not the point? It's certainly, on some level, my point when I say this.

This may be controversial, but I don't think there's anything insane or bigoted about being ambivalent or worried about the potential side effects of trans medical interventions, particularly on children.

The question is, why are you worried?

There's a thing people do, which adults frequently do to kids and which kids pick up on very well.

And what it is, is a kind of faux concern. It overtly expresses itself as concern about a subject, for example, "I'm concerned that this trans stuff might not be right for you." but the way it's expressed makes it very clear that the actual problem is something like, "You being trans would make me very uncomfortable, and I want that feeling of discomfort to go away".

So your responses to your kid focus less on making them more comfortable, and more on making them more palatable to you, regardless of how that affects them.

That's all, perhaps, very abstract.

There was an emergency order recently by one of the state attorneys general that demanded that all kids people (EDIT: Part of the reason it was such a stupid series of warnings was because it mandated that adult trans people get a warning that a lot of parents don't like when their kids get trans interventions. As usual, I am making up a more sane version of something) being given puberty blockers or hormones be provided with a rambling, mostly non-sensical series of "warnings" but one of them was that puberty blockers could cause "brain swelling" which does sound, I must say, somewhat alarming.

The same emergency order required no such warning if you prescribe puberty blockers for precocious puberty, which, if you are motivated purely by concern over medical side effects, is fucking insane.

The dominant force motivating concern over side effects of trans medical interventions is that a lot of people don't like the idea of there being lots of trans youth. It's very efficient to couch that concern as a concern over medical side effects, because there probably is real concern there, but it also allows people to couch their fundamental transphobia in terms that they find more palatable than just pure bigotry.

As a kid, I took a lot of mental health meds, and as an adult I am very skeptical about how these treatments that we still don't understand very well might have effected me. I wonder if perhaps they damaged my libido long term or did something else subtler.

I did not have these opinions at the time, and it definitely wasn't because I had been brainwashed by big pharma.

These kinds of concerns were rampant at the time; autism hadn't caught the public eye yet so the big controversy was whether we were giving too much ADHD medicine to boys simply for acting like boys.

"Instead of using all these ADHD meds to sedate boys into compliance, we should let them run around and hit each other more in school, like boys are supposed to"

My response was always, "First of all ADHD meds are usually stimulants not sedatives, and second of all as a boy in school that sounds like a fucking nightmare."

What I took from this and a lot of other stuff at the time was that the anti-medication contingent was mostly focused on calming their own anxieties, rather than solving the problems I had that caused me to look to medication as a solution.

The problem was that I was being medicated and that upset a lot of adults; calming or expressing that upset was clearly the primary aim of a lot of anti-medication rhetoric, and while the people slinging it certainly would not have objected to me having my problems solved, that was very clearly a secondary concern when compared to their concern with assuring themselves that society was still as they imagined that it should be.

I think a very similar dynamic is at work in modern day trans panics.

Except I DO think we should be nanny-stating a little more about ballet and football and other worst-for-long-term-health sports! I do! Like it’s worth pointing out the hypocrisy and it’s especially worth pointing out that regular puberty is also irreversible changes but this comparison feels counterproductive to me on the whole. Because I think if we changed how ballet works so kids aren’t going in as deep end as young as they are that would probably be Good, Actually. I’m not 100% certain about this because I do have a pretty strong “autonomy first” instinct and kids have their own ambitions, but the organized sport nature of it makes me like. 95% certain.