#i would check these but i dont have any of my books on me right now

[arolesbianism]

Playing as Wickerbottom for the first time and going weeeeee look at all these crops :D until I face the consequences of all said crops

[peachigummi]

test my luck ꢾ꣒ mattheo riddle.

summary: enemy to lovers! Mattheo and y/n have been each other's biggest haters since year 1, they're in their final year at Hogwarts. Mattheo finally pushes y/n to the edge, with his venomous words and guilt tactics.

pairing: enemy! mattheo x fem ravenclaw! reader

warnings: not for the faint of heart! mature themes/language. mentions of abuse. slow burn? bullying angst!! oh my god angst, but ends with some bittersweet fluff I promise! attempted suicide sorry (after reading this back, i dont mean it to be manipulation or to glorify or romanticize but! shit!! for a plot?)

note: i haven't written anything in literal years, the pov is going to shift a lot so bear with me. i honestly just lost any sense of motivation. but something in me just bloomed. you wont see any hp things on this blog it is my journal and i feel like sharing! maybe a part 2 in the making. if this gets enough response.

word count: 6,828

(slightly not really proofread or fan fact checked? if that's a thing ha)

playlist: should i create..? you know damn well the smiths would be in it! like Bigmouth Strikes Again?? that is mattheo!

reblogs & comments are so appreciated! i hope you enjoy <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

It was the start of your last year of Hogwarts, it was an okay time. You personally didn’t get into too much trouble, you liked to stick by yourself for the most part. You studied hard because your muggle parents were still confused about you being a witch, and what you would get out of it. It was hard to process that information, it was a thing of fairy tales. You had to prove yourself in this new world. That…that was hard when you were constantly looking over your shoulder for Mattheo Riddle.

“What’s a whore doing in my seat?” Speak of the damn devil. 

You turned to look at him with a sarcastic smile, “Well hello to you too Mattheo.” You nod at the three other boys that were with him, each of their arms crossed. “Draco. Blaise. Theodore.” You return to look at Mattheo, “you know last time I checked… there are no assigned seats in Potions.” You looked around and the class was still fairly empty.

“Think again and think hard.” Mattheo spoke to you in a cold shallow tone, he barely looked at you. He circled around the table you were at, your eyes following him. He suddenly stopped right behind your chair, yanking it back. There was a loud scrape, the few students that were in the room turned to look at the scene unfolding. You didn’t meet any of their eyes. Mattheo slammed his hand on the side of the table, making you flinch. You hated that you reacted that way. He grabbed the back of your ponytail, forcing your head forward where his hand was, “Look.” M. Riddle. D. Malfoy. B. Zabini. T. Nott. Their names were carved into the side. You grabbed Mattheo’s hand, the one that was still holding onto your ponytail, you tried to pry his icy cold fingers off. It only made him tighten his grip, he bent down to get close to your face, “I suggest you move unless you want me to carve my name onto your face as well.” he spat and finally let go. 

“Whatever,” you gathered your books, “this seat sucks anyways. I’ll go hang out with Professor Snape up front.” You rolled your eyes as Draco lit up a cigarette, handing the pack to the boys to share. If you’re going to try and get away with smoking, yeah do it in the back of the class I guess.

“You really like being a teacher’s pet don’t you? That’s why you’ve always got your nose up Snape’s ass.” 

“Seriously fuck off! Go continue to lose brain cells with your sorry excuse of friends.” You push the seat back and let it topple over. You mentally slapped yourself, you shouldn’t be feeding into his remarks.

“That’s cute sunshine, I’ll bet you have a hard time standing up for yourself in every aspect of your pathetic life. Do better.” Mattheo smugly said, smoking the cigarette that was in his hand.

You opened your mouth to speak but decided against it, you ended up just flipping him off. He did the same, giving you an annoyed look. You took the seat next to Hermione in the front of the class. Ugh! That Mattheo. “Are you okay?!” She asked, shooting daggers at the group, turning to you again “How can you put up with that? We have to tell someone..” you shook my head and whispered, “it’ll only make things worse. I don’t want to be a snitch. It’s already been six years anyways… how can one more year really change things.”

Blaise laughed, “you like that don’t you mattheo? Isn’t she so cute when she’s angry, you like feisty girls, yeah?”

Draco chuckles, “oh he definitely does, too bad she’s a stupid bitch.” The group laughs together.

You could hear them hollering from the back. You tried to calm yourself down and pay attention to the different measurements of the potions you were being taught. Maybe I could switch this class to a different time. You thought, focusing back to the lesson when Professor Snape mentioned something about needing to be in groups of three for an upcoming project.

Before Snape could assign anyone, Mattheo spoke up, “Sir I’d like to work with Theodore, if that’s permitted.” Snape looked annoyed by his interjection but answered, “No, Theodore will be with Y/N and Draco. Nothing will change. I already made the groups, they will be posted near the storeroom.” He gave Mattheo a dirty look.

You could hear Draco scoff but he didn't say anything. Yet. He kept to himself and his buddies while they continued to smoke and do other things to piss Professor Snape off before the class was finally dismissed. I guess I didn’t need to worry about being in a pair with Mattheo. You still wanted to protest against the group choice, but nothing would come of it. You knew better than to go against Snape’s final word. Theodore wasn’t such a horrible person, he actually can be pretty smart and helpful, if you got him alone. Otherwise when he was with even just one of his buddies, he was just like them - a jerk. It was Draco you won’t be able to stand.

“Don't do anything stupid, Y/L/N, and we might actually do okay in this project.” That was Draco himself, walking over with Theodore.

You ignored his comment, “where should we meet and when?”

“We can use one of the abandoned classrooms. Before the lunch break?” Theodore suggested, handing a note with directions.

“Okay. See you.” You said as bluntly as possible, gathering your book. You went to grab the ingredients your group might need. 

“Teachers pet!” Draco yelled after.

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

Of course you were the first to the abandoned classroom, you had been waiting for nearly twenty minutes before either of them showed. When they did, they didn’t bother to apologize, though you didn’t expect them to. Even with smart comments from both boys, you finished discussing the project and the presentation at a decent hour. It was quiet as you started to collect your things, Draco excused himself earlier to collect a package.

“Y/N, why is it that you hate Mattheo so much?” Theodore broke the silence, carefully watching you wrap the vials carefully. You paused, taken back. “He’s been trying to get a rise out of you since day 1, why?” He continued nonchalantly, leaning back in his chair. He pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.

You quickly grab them out of his hand and put it in your own breast pocket, “don’t smoke around me.” 

This made him annoyed, “Hey! I need those! They keep me calm!” 

“No you don't, you've been fine this entire time without them. I’m not trying to raise your blood pressure right now. You’re fine.” You give him a good look, maybe he was playing dumb. How could he not know? Theodore and Mattheo were best friends; they must have already talked about this, “I only hate Mattheo because he hates me. It’s all there's to it…” I think.

He lingers for a moment after you answered him, there is something else you haven’t said, “tell me what you think. There’s always some deeper reason for this sort of stuff” He rested his chin on his hand. See this is why I favored Theodore from the rest of his group, but should I still trust him? He could use this information against me. I took the chance.

“Over the years I suspected it was just plainly because I was a mudblood and not some perfect pure-bred like you folk.” You continued to wrap the vials carefully. 

Theodore rolled his eyes, “He does have a thing against people with different backgrounds than his own. He thinks everyone in this school should be from a wizarding family. But that’s not the case with you.” He grabbed a vial too, helping me wrap them, “He’s never said anything about your parents or how they’re muggles.” Mattheo would talk about me when I wasn’t around? Why would he do that? You looked into his eyes searching for some joke or underlying lie. There was none I could detect.

You recall the moment aloud when you first laid your eyes on Mattheo, “It was at the train station. Our first year. I remember hugging and kissing my parents goodbye, not wanting to let go of them. I turned around to go on the train and there was a much much smaller Mattheo staring at me with wide beady little eyes that were glossed over with tears. He was cute in that split second - ” You couldn’t help but smile at the memory. Theodore watched you carefully. You straightened your lips, continuing, “ - before he stuck a solid wad of gum in my hair.”

Theodore bellowed, nearly falling backwards in his chair, “Yeah that sounds like him, that’s a classic stunt he’d pull off. There was this one time in year 5 when he stuck gum on the chair of one of the professors before class…I never saw her so mad after she sat down and got up, her chair nearly followed her around!” He tried to settle himself down, “Mattheo always had a thing for doing stuff to people and acting as if it’s all a joke.”

“It’s not a joke when you have to cut your hair super short in order to remove the gum. I felt so naked without my long hair, it was so beautiful! And he made it worse when he made a point to show how ugly I was to everyone in the Great Hall. I even remember you laughing just like you are now.” You pushed his shoulder.

Theodore smirked, “yeah we all laughed, how couldn’t we?! You looked ridiculous before you grew it back out. We used to call you Baldy McEgg-head. You’d get so mad, only making us laugh harder.” At least someone cherished the memory. You rolled your eyes.

It grew quiet again, “have you ever met Mattheo’s parents? Has he ever talked to you about them?”

“No. I’ve never met them. He’s never really talked about his parents or his life outside Hogwarts. I don’t think he’s on great terms with his dad. He always stayed with them during the breaks, and wasn't ever allowed to spend it with us or here at hogwarts. He missed out on a lot of important hang outs. I wished he was there for them” Theodore explained, he sounded disappointed and angry.

“Do…do you think he’s jealous of my home life? The affection I was receiving in front of him at the train station…” 

He thinks for a moment, “I suppose it could be a possibility…hard to tell. He doesn’t allow himself to show too much emotion, again, probably has to do with the way he must have been raised.”

You wanted to do more research into Mattheo’s family…but how? “Thanks for this Teddy. You’ve given me a lot to think about.” You finished packing everything into your bag. Before you left you tossed him back his pack of cigarettes, “see you later.”

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

You let out a sigh of relief, to be alone once again. Mettheo Riddle, what secrets do you hide? You made your way to the library instead of the Great Hall. After a few hours of searching around the library, you finally find a section of massive thick old leather bound books. You blew on the covers, these books contained a record of all the wizards and witches that had attended Hogwarts. Kind of like a yearbook, but it told you what came of them. Who married who, what did they end up doing after Hogwarts, etc. a rare but quite the gem of a find. “R… R.. R” you whispered, touching the book ends. You look at the bottom of the bookshelf finding the one that contained the last names that began with R. You found it, and you began to look through for the name “Riddle.”

Just as you got to the last name, you felt a wave of shame. You were snooping into somebody’s life. Their history. This is wrong. If Mattheo wanted to talk about his home life, surely he would have. He was hiding something. There were heavy slow footsteps coming around the corner of the aisle. You snapped the book shut holding it behind you and you looked at the section opposite of where you just were. Mattheo, they were his steps, you could tell. 

“Of course you’d be in the library doing nerd stuff.” He doesn’t sound happy, but also when is he truly ever?

You looked at him then around yourself, “who me? A nerd for being in the library?” I mean he wasn’t wrong but ..yeah. You still point at him, “Where are you then? Because it seems to be you’re also in the library with…” you fake gasp, “...Me! Making you a nerd too!” You hoped that confused him, you shifted the leather book behind your back. It was getting heavy by the second.

“I’m ditching classes to smoke,” He takes a rip of a cigarette that was nearly at its end, he blows the smoke in your face. “Nerd.”

“Whoop-dee-doo what a stellar insult Mettheo. I’m a ravenclaw. What did you expect? I’d rather be a nerd than a-” You took a step closer to him squinting then widening your eyes in horror, “oh my god Mattheo did you lose a tooth from all that smoking?” He quickly shoved his pinky into his mouth feeling his teeth in a panic. If there was one thing he cared more about than cigarettes it was keeping up with his good looks. Uh did I just describe him as good looking?

He actually laughed once he finished counting his teeth, “They’re perfectly fine. I care about taking care of myself, unlike you. How often do you wash yourself? I doubt you even brush your hair. I did you a favor when you had to cut it off. You have no sense of style, even with a selection of uniforms! Why do you dress like it’s winter all year? You dress like a peasant from the 1820’s”

Okay ouch, that kinda hurt. You’ve been insecure with your body, you always struggled with that. Dressing in sweaters helped hide it. You didn’t know how to respond, maybe he's right. You couldn’t stand up for yourself to save your life. You just shoved his shoulder with your own and walked past him. 

Matthew continues to follow you, “did you just shove me you twat?” He snatched the book out of my arms holding it a ways away from you, “If you’re going to do sneaky shit, don’t do it so obviously. Is this a diary or something?” Your eyes widened trying to take it back, but he held it up high above his head easily with one hand.

“Yes! It’s my diary, it’s where I gush about the god almighty perfect Mattheo!” I sarcastically said, still hoping he wouldn’t look at the title of the book. “No stupid! I dont have one, I just got done working on the potions project with your buddies. Hand me back the book.”

“Oh I bet you three had lots of fun. Did you talk about me while you were there? Did you talk about how you can’t take your eyes and mind off of me? You’re clearly obsessed, following me around like a love sick puppy. You pop up wherever I happen to be.” 

“Ew no never.” You fought your expression back, did Theodore tell him something? Fuck. “Draco left, it was just Teddy and I. we spent it kissing the whole time. Super carefree. His lips surprisingly didn't taste like cigarettes, they were pretty sweet.”

Mattheo’s smug smirk fades even before you finish your sentence. He hated how you used a nickname for his friend. He despised the thought of you kissing anyone, especially his mates, “fucking liar. THEODORE, not TEDDY, doesn’t like you. He just tolerates you because he has to. He wouldn’t be caught dead kissing you. You’re disgusting and I pity anyone who has the displeasure of touching you in any way other than to harm you. 

You hold your hands up, “woah woah woah, whatever makes you sleep peacefully at night. Why else did Teddy take me to an abandoned classroom, it was our chance to get away together especially after Draco conveniently left.” You couldn’t believe you were lying through your teeth, this would forsure come back and bite you in the ass even harder. You haven’t even had your first kiss yet. You haven't even been romantically linked with anyone before. 

“Stop fucking calling him Teddy, it’s Theodore!”

“Can you guys get a room or SHUT UP! For Merlin’s Sake” A random student yelled out at us. Slamming their hand on the table. You were embarrassed because you took pride in keeping the library a sacred place to study or relax.

“Piss off. Go find a room of your own instead of listening to us talking. You must be a first year, if you’re still so sensitive to other’s voices in the library.” He continued to raise his voice, “We’ve been like this for years! Blah blah blah!!”

“Stop it Mattheo.” You shove him again, mouthing to the student, I'm very sorry. With the distraction you go and grab the book in Mattheo’s hand but he quickly readjusts his grip.

“You don’t have to apologize for me, sunshine. You should apologize to him for your existence, do everyone a favor will you?” He finally looked down at the title of the book, Who Were They and Where They Now?: Hogwarts. He carefully used a single finger to pry it open to where the fabric bookmark was, immediately seeing his own surname. He gives a manic laugh looking up at your face and slamming the book down to the floor, “you stalker. You are obsessed with me.” 

He lunged at you. You took a step back, you hit the shelving. Your heart was beating so fast you thought you would pass out from the red handed guilt. 

“What kind of information were you looking to find huh?” He pointed a finger at me, his eyes ice cold. Looking to murder. Your head suddenly hurt, there was a high pitched ringing that wouldn't stop. You went to cover your ears to find some relief but Mattheo grabbed you and shook hard, “what the FUCK did you think you would find? Tell me. Tell me NOW!” You didn’t know what to say he just stared hard at you, his nails digging into your arms. You winced. He began to speak fast and harshly as if he knew, as if you had said something. 

“Did you really expect you would find out that I had a happy home? Do you think I’m happy being born in some dingy hovel? Do you think I'm overjoyed to be related to and be abused by my father? He beat me black and blue and hated my existence. My mother just sat there silently watching. She doesn’t care. Would YOU be thrilled knowing that you came from a long line of dark wizards who’ve caused pain and suffering to people for centuries.” 

You began to cry, “Mattheo..”

“You honestly think I would be so proud of that to tell everyone?” He scoffed.

“Mattheo you’re hurting me…”

“I. Don’t. Care.” His deep brown eyes didn’t leave yours, “you should have minded your own business. Stupid girl prying into my history. What do you care? Did you think I'd be less of a jerk to you if I had a perfect loving family like yours? ”

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry! I .. I.”

“Shut up. You don't get to speak. I don't need you feeling sorry for me, I can handle myself. This is probably the worst you’ll ever experience.”

“Y-You’re right. I’m.. I’m grateful I never had to e-endure that” You were one stuttering mess. 

He moves one hand to cup your mouth to shut you up again, “what did i say. I don't want to hear another word out of your mouth.” He rose the other up threateningly. 

You closed your eyes. Do it Mattheo. Please. I deserve it. I’m sorry I tried to pry. Do it. He was surprised by your offer and looked at you in confusion, his expression didn’t change though. “What kind of sick request is that?” You open your eyes again to meet his. Both of you were in disbelief, did he just-? “Why would you want me to beat you? Because you feel bad for me? I don’t want nor need your sympathy. Trying to act like a saint that's willing to be my punching bag whenever I want.” he scoffed, letting your mouth free, taking a single step back away from you.

“Then why are you so mean to me? Tell me that. When I first laid eyes on you during our first year at the train platform, I thought we would be friends.” You wrapped your arms around yourself, rubbing where his fingers had dug into you.

“You’re a prissy annoying know-it-all goody two shoes that thinks she’s better than everyone. You can’t help but chime in whenever you have the chance and show off.”

“So it’s just my existence then huh, nothing else to it?” You felt your own anger finally rise, you wiped your tears off your cheek trying to regain composure.

“Pretty much. You’re unbearable. You are the most unexciting thing I’ve ever encountered.”

“Let me fix that for you.” Your eyes betrayed you and let the gates open, the flood starting to spill once more. Before Mattheo could get another hold of you you quickly shuffled off, dropping your things. Already feeling limp. Just hoping your legs would carry you a bit more.

Mattheo rolls his eyes, “tsk so stupid.” He stood there staring at the place you once were. Thinking about what occurred when he processed what you said, “Y/N! Hey I-..” He began to follow in the direction you went off to.

Your shuffle turned into a run, you just needed privacy. Anything. Your dorm was too far away, so you went into the nearest girls bathroom and into the furthest stall to sob.

Mattheo reaches the hallway, looking to his left and right. Fuck where did she go? He closes his eyes to listen closely. He heard something faint and went with his gut.

You sat down beside the toilet, hitting your head with your fist. “Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.” You heard a familiar giggle, “go away Myrtle. Now’s especially not the time.” 

Bathroom, you had to be in the bathroom. He went inside not caring if another girl would see him, “Y/N? You’re in here, I know you are. Look, just come out will you?” Instead Moaning Myrtle came forth.

“Are you looking for me?” she bit her finger looking him up and down, “we don't get that many cute boys in here.” She sighed, still admiring him, “Nevertheless, shame on you. How could someone as delicious as you treat someone so horribly.” She laughed in his face.

“Shut up. I don't need to be lectured by some depressed ghost. Why are you even here. Go away.” He went further inside the bathroom pushing doors in, “actually have you seen a girl come in, Y/N?”

“Yes!” She said excitedly pointing to the last stall, “She’s coming with me and we’ll get to haunt together. It’ll be so fun to not be alone anymore” She broke into another high pitched laugh, clapping her hands with joy. 

“What the hell is she on about?” That’s when he noticed broken glass from a mirror. His heart drops, “you’ve got to be kidding me…” He rushed over pushing the final door in, but this one wouldn’t budge. “Y/N. It’s Mattheo..” his heart drops and he pales when he notices blood start to seep out from under the door, you’ve hurt yourself. “Y/N!” He says again louder, “open the door! Open it right fucking now! Y/N!!”

You didn’t want him to see you like this, no one should have to see this. You try to hold the door closed but you were losing your strength to do anything. The blood made it slippery so your hand slid down, “M-m-mattheo haven’t..you said enough?”

Myrtle pointed to the glass, “look how eager she was! Damaging school property to break free” She did a couple spins in the air, “any minute now!”

“That’s it. I’ve had enough.” Mattheo raised his wand and shot a blast at the lock, it broke open and he flung the door open to reveal you laying on the floor. His heart seemed to stop completely. “Shit! Dammit! Y/N!” 

The blast frightened you, “No. Mattheo. No.” You could only make out his dark curly haired head. You tried to swat him away before losing consciousness due to blood loss. 

Professor Snape rushed in after hearing a blast, “what the bloody hell is going on in here, Mr. Riddle.”

Mattheo looked at him with an angry and panicked expression, “I need her in the infirmary right now.” He said through gritted teeth. He leans over you, grabbing a large bunch of toilet paper and quickly kneels next to you. Applying pressure on your bleeding left wrist.

Snape understood immediately, “Keep the pressure on the wrist, Riddle.” He was able to pick you up easily, but he was not enthusiastic about having your blood staining his robes, “with HASTE Riddle! Follow me!” And off they went to the infirmary. Once there Snape quickly laid you on a bed gently before Madame Pomfrey took over. 

She was able to stop and clean the bleeding, while she examined the cut striation she asked both Snape and Mattheo what blood type they were, “The girls lost too much blood, she needs a transfusion.” She began to stitch the wrist, the cut was near vertical to the veins. 

Mattheo in a less than a split second looked at Pomfrey, “Am I able to donate for her.” He didn’t say it as a question, he wanted it to be a command. 

“As long as you share the same blood type then yes, sweetheart. Please, fresh blood is much better. We can’t wait more time, Ms. Y/L/N is so terribly pale. She can have a seizure any minute if we dont get more blood to her brain” still carefully pulling at threads. His hand was still holding yours. 

He nods impatiently, less talking, more action. “I’m AB-” he gulped. One of the rarest blood types in the world, “what type is she?” he began to roll up his sleeve even before Pomfrey was able to respond.

“Goodheavens! Thank Merlin. She’s AB- as well!” She sighs looking up at the ceiling for a split second, calling for a nurse to help set up the transfusion. He took a seat on your left, watching the nurse insert a needle into each of your arms. He didn’t flinch, but he gave her a threatening look when she inserted a needle into your arm, thinking she would bring more pain to you. 

Madame Pomfrey stood up, finished. “If it was with a straight razor and not a glass shard, I don’t think i would have been able to-” she let her voice die down after seeing how pale Mattheo began to look too, she shut her mouth as to not worry him more with what the other alternative was. He couldn’t hide his guilt. His eyes were alternating between your face and his blood that was slowly running into your body through a single tubing. He desperately needed it to go faster. 

“Is there a chance she would wake up with problems with her veins or her nerves?” He asked.

Pomfrey patted the boy's shoulders, “Let’s hope not, let’s hope they hold. With the basics in place, there’s nothing a little magic can’t help.” This eased him, “Ms. Y/L/N wont wake for a couple of hours. She needs to be watched to make sure she doesn’t rip my stitching job or we will go back to square one my boy. Can I trust you?”

“Is that really a necessary question?” He bit his tongue, “Sorry, yes I will watch over her. I need to be here when she wakes up.”

“Best she gets a psychiatrist too, but that's a later issue to address. We’ll focus on physical healing for now.” Pomfrey looked at Mattheo curiously, isn’t this one of the trouble-making slytherin boys? She shook her head and walked out to attend to another student.

“Y/N i’m here.” He studies your face, deep with regret and guilt. He holds your right hand tightly, he whispers softly, “it’s okay, you’re going to be alright..”

“Riddle.” Snape was still watching everything from the shadows of the room, “What happened to my best student, why is he in this condition?”

“It’s my fault, Professor…I was making a fool out of myself. I was treating her like hell… it went too far. She must have had a breakdown and she-” he couldn’t bear to describe your condition out loud.

Snape held a hand up to silence him from saying more, “rather than giving you detention for the rest of your time here at Hogwarts. I will need you to attend all the girl’s classes she will be missing in her recovery. She must not fall behind.”

“Yes sir, I understand. I’ll do it.” 

Snape turned to leave but came back toward the boy and yanked the cigarette box from his uniform pocket, “none of these for you either, especially as you are sharing blood with Y/N. She never liked you smoking.” and off he turned around to change his own robes from the blood.

“Anything for you.” he whispered towards you, “please wake up soon.”

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

You began to stir, your eyes fluttering open. You looked around in a panic. You were incredibly sore, especially your left wrist. It stung badly. Mattheo had fallen asleep in the chair when he jolted awake to the sound of your movements, “Calm down, relax, you’re in the infirmary. You’re safe.” He couldn’t help but feel like he just lied about it being safe, if he was the cause of this.

“M…m..Mattheo” You began to cry again, “I’m so sorry.” You went to reach out and hug him but flinched. You followed the red transfusion line to him, “oh Mattheo.”

He sat up to lean towards you. He shushes you and wipes your tears with the back of his hand, ‘you need to calm down and take it easy, princess. You’ve lost a lot of blood and you're still weak. This is just to bring your levels up, you’ll start to feel better soon.”

You stared at his beautiful eyes, ones that had held so much hate but there seemed to be no trace of it now. You felt guilty, I acted like a coward. “Myrtle said it was going to be quick and painless. I’m so stupid I couldn’t even do it right.” You felt another wave of tears coming but  you tried to choke them down.

“No youre not, you’re not at fault.” He couldn’t help but chuckle cautiously as what he was about to say, “you might be a know-it-all but you just need to have more control with your thoughts. Don’t listen to Moaning Myrtle. Don’t be hard on yourself, you're not stupid. You did nothing wrong.”

“I thought I was doing you a favor.” you were so exhausted. But you needed to get this out before you lost consciousness again. With your good arm you help his hand tightly, looking him in the eyes again to emphasize the point you were going to make, “Mattheo, I really am idiotic. I Am. I did think you had a perfect life, it didn’t cross my mind that you had it any other way. You were always carefree and just let's be honest, acting like you're’ better than everyone else. It was wrong of me to have assumed that.”

He frowns. “Don’t apologize. There’s no way to tell what someone is going through ultimately. I..cope in my own way.” He softly strokes your cheek with this thumb.

If it wasn’t for the pain, you would have thought you were asleep. Dead. Or in purgatory. A realm between realms. No way the mattheo I’ve known my whole life is sitting beside me looking..lovingly at me? You felt horrible. Did I just manipulate him into caring about me? Just hours ago he was mocking and saying nasty things as usual. 

Mattheo could see the look of disbelief in your eyes from the way he was behaving, “Y/N. I’m caring for you. No you’re not dreaming or in some other realm. You’re here, with me, thank Merlin. You didn’t manipulate me, you woke me up.”

You sat up too quickly for your own good, your head feeling light “How are you doing that?” 

He shook his head, “Another time. I’m really sorry for how I treated you. You think I’m just some asshole, but I'm more than that really. I want to be more than that. No one else has gotten to see the real me.”

“Mattheo, I see you.” Despite your pain, you reach out to cup his face between your hands. For a second, you saw the boy you first laid your eyes on that first year at the train station. The same sad eyes, “I see you.”

He sighed into your touch, it was a soft and innocent gesture he was not used to. He chuckled softly, and gently placed his hands over yours, keeping them there. He didn’t want to lose the touch, “I know you do, and that’s exactly why I'm afraid.”

You couldn’t help but imagine - how different our lives could have been for the last 6 years, if he would have just introduced himself to me. Explained why he looked so pained when I was with my family. “My parents would have welcomed you as their own” you explained your thoughts to him. “I could have protected you. You could have visited me during the holiday breaks. I know saying it will not change the past and what has happened to you. But I see you Matty.”

“yeah..it’s too late to change the past, I should’ve but I didn’t think you’d understand. It doesn’t excuse the way I treated you all these years, Y/N.” His voice got shaky, his eyes starting to water. He was a mess.

“No, don't you start Mattheo please, baby.” You brought him into a hug, again ignoring your throbbing wrist. “Easy now.” you soothed the curls that were behind his neck. They felt so soft.

Mattheo rested his head on your shoulder and held you tightly, softly crying into you. He wrapped his arms around you and held onto your shirt like he was afraid to let go. He couldn’t remember the last time someone treated him like this, it felt so new and overwhelming.

You kissed the top of his head, inhaling - cigarettes. You hated that he smoked but at this moment the smalle was comforting. He let out a deep sigh. You broke the hug only because you scooted over on the bed, and tugged him to lay beside you. We watched you, he looked so tired. He nodded in agreement with a small smile, he carefully laid beside you, making sure to be careful of your condition.

You gave him a reassuring look that wasn’t hurting you. I’m okay. You looked at your arms touching side by side, still connected by the tubing. You couldn't help but laugh, “Matty isn’t it ironic? All this pure-blood and mudblood talk and look” you carefully lifted the tube, “we’re still one and the same foundation.” You smiled at him, helping wipe his tear stained cheeks now. “Thanks for your donation to me.”

He too couldn't help but grin back at you. He couldn’t believe you weren’t pushing him away for how he treated you, or for how vulnerable he was at the moment, “any time, but please actually don’t do that ever again. You made me worried to death..”

“No I won’t. Pinky promise.” You held out your pinky for him to take. 

He took it in his own nodding, “good, you’re stuck with me now.”

With our pinkies still woven, you  looked at the size difference. You turned toward his Bambi like eyes, “let's start this over on the right foot. Better late than never? Hi i’m Y/N, [insert some fun facts about yourself].”

Mattheo smiled more widely, blushing his pinky did make yours look kiddish. It was adorable. He gave you a playful look, smirking at you like he usually would, “Nice to meet you there, Y/N. I’m Mattheo, the sexiest guy you’ll meet in Hogwarts.”

There’s my Mattheo. “And you promise to…?” you coaxed him.

He gave your pinky another squeeze, “to try to be nice and kind to you, and avoid bullying you….as well as to not smoke in your presence…you happy?”

You kind of nodded, holding in your laugh, “aaaand…?”

He looked at you, trying to read what you wanted him to say. He gave your pinky another, slightly rougher, squeeze. “And I promise not to throw a wad of gum into your beautiful hair?”

“Bingo. Mr. Riddle, that’s what I was ultimately looking for.” You let go of his pinky, “but it is nice to know the other stuff too.” you waved your hand like it was nothing, but it was my everything. He gave you a sarcastic scoff, he liked that you were still acting like your old self too. 

You kissed his cheek and his face went redder than a cherry, you acted shocked “woah did I just make Mattheo, the sexiest guy in Hogwarts BLUSH?!” You slapped your hands against your cheeks in play disbelief, slightly regretting the pain it brought to your arms. He quickly shook his head and blushed even more than originally thought possible, he tried to hide his face away from you, “S-shut up! That’s a lie! I was not blushing, it’s just your imagination.”

You laughed at his reaction, taking his hand in mine once more comparing the hand sizes. You put my head against his shoulder, before dropping your jester attitude. Making him form another pinky promise with you. “Mattheo, I promise to be there for you. I want to protect you. You shouldn’t live in the shadow of your home life, especially not alone. Just as much as I’m stuck with you. You’re stuck with me. That’s my promise to you.”

His heart beat fast, it nearly melted his heart to hear your promise. He let out a deep, shaky breath. He couldn't stop the small tear that rolled down his cheek, he didn’t bother wiping it. He just leaned his head down to rest on your own, “deal…”

There was a pause, before you spoke up again.“I know we just started the year but please, come back home with me this Christmas holiday when it rolls around.” You blinked up at him. You started to feel really sleepy, that was to be your last request and plea for the moment, “I’ll show you how muggles get down to holiday business.”

Mattheo looked down at you and smiled softly, as your eyes were struggling to stay open, “yea sure, i’ll spend the holidays with you” he wasn’t sure how he would, but he would worry about that later.

Many promises were made this day, and you intended to keep each and every single one of them. In many ways, you knew this would still be the same Mattheo you had always known, but it would all be so different now. You managed to break through his extremely guarded shell, the hardest way possible. But it needed to desperately be broken.

You turned Mattheo’s head to look at you, he met your gaze. The corner of his lip curled up as he knew what you were about to do. He let you take the lead, closing his eyes. You kissed his lips slowly, cherishing how it felt. You wanted more of him, but your body was pleading for rest. You hugged his arm and surrendered.

He couldn’t help but touch his lips afterwards with his fingertips. He watched as you gave in to exhaustion, he followed your lead and let out a deep sigh before closing his eyes, “Goodnight princess.” Mattheo fell asleep to the sounds of you breathing and the sound of your heartbeat, they would surely become one of the most blissful lullabies to be heard by him. He intertwined his fingers with yours, he wouldn’t ever let go.

[woozvc]

shifts.

(part of my seventeen first love series!) [m.list]

synopsis - working at a 24/7 hypermarket and thinking you're about to get killed is not fun...but the dude you meet is beautiful so hey worth it?

pairing — jeonghan x gn!reader (reader is called pretty once)

genre/s — fluff, jeonghan is a menace, friends older brother troupe if you squint, reader works at a hypermarket late at night

cw— mentions of dark streets and getting followed (but like not really because he thought you were someone else), one direction is mentioned for a second (yes this is a cw), a lot of cursing

w/c - 1k ish

it's 11:03pm when your shift is finally over. it's a quiet friday night, the 24/7 hypermart you're working at is pretty empty which is perfect. most of your shift was spend in just organizing the shelfs and listening to music. that's why you love working here, it's easy money and it's near your house so why not?

“y/n! thank you so much for covering my shift today!”

“hey haein, how was your meeting?”

“um..it was fine haha, I know you like your 11-4am shift more but i had no choice, hope I'm not ruining your saturday”

“it's fine, I was free today anyway”

“let me get changed and you can log out” haein gives you a small smile.

haein is a year younger than you, you first met her when she randomly once ran into the shop at 1am in dire need of ramen. it looked like she was on the verge of tears. that told you enough, she was definitely your type of person.

“is it really that cold or are you dramatic?” haein chuckles looking at your large comically hoodie. you got it matching with her a few weeks ago. she wanted to thank you for putting up with her antics at early hours of the morning. you didn't refuse, a free hoodie is a free hoodie.

“it's December and I'm cold." you give her a glare (affectionate)

"don't leave the store until mark comes in and please dont put your headphones on, if someone walks in your need to greet them” haein gives you a small laugh with a salute and hugs you.

walking through this neighborhood has never been a problem. you know this place like the back of your hand, nothing could go-

“huh?” you turn around. there was something. you swear you felt someone walk behind you.

you look around for a minute, no ones around. that's when you decide to book it. taking a deep breath you start to run and crash into something, or, someone.

“haein chill out why the fuck are you running”

“who the fuck are you??”

you stare at the boy in front of you. long hair, lean frame and beautiful eyes-

“you're not haein.”

“last time i checked no I'm not” you quip back at him. being good looking does not excuse being a bitch.

“oh my god I'm so sorry” he extends his hand out to you which you take and pull yourself up.

“you have the same hoodie as my sister so i thought you were her.. I was planning to scare her so that i could ask why she was out so late I'm really sorry. it's just that usually her shifts ends right now and she takes this street home and”

“jeonghan?”

"you know me?"

it made sense. haein would come in sometimes and rant about her menace of a brother who she loved but sometimes was hard to deal with. for someone who has so much shit talked about him, damn does he look good.

you spend the next 5minutes telling jeonghan about how you know haein, the matching hoodies and why you were leaving the store at her shift time.

“she had a meeting with a club? she's not in any clubs?"

"I don't know I don't interrogate your sister"

“maybe you can” he hands his phone out and you give him a confused look

“put your number in, I'll ask you for sister updates. you can be my spy”

“that's creepy”

“I'm just concerned for her”

“still creepy”

“okay how about you give me your number because I think you're pretty”

you're so glad the street has barely any lights or he would've seen you red as a tomato right now. you quietly take his phone and put your number in, no further words needed.

jeonghan smiles at you and saves your number.

“I'll go meet haein now but I'll text you, you have good taste” and he walks away laughing. you stand there confused. what does he mean by good taste??

you start to walk home when it hits you. he pointed at your bag. a bag with a one direction badge on it that you put on when you were 12 and forgot about it.

“definitely a menace.”

a/n - I'm still on hiatus but I wrote this at 4am when I was sad and needed something to do sorry if it's not my best work :/

[angelbaby-fics]

No Matter What

Pairing: CG!Steve Rogers x Little!Reader (fem nicknames used)

Word Count: 1k

A/N: omg this idea has literally been in my docs since i started this blog and i only finally wrote it all out!! y'all know i loooove thinking about pre serum steve, and i love exploring that concept through the eyes of his little 💕 also i just wanna add, i dont think worms are icky or slimy! little was just being cheeky!

“Daddy? Would you still love me if I was a worm?”

 The question took Steve by surprise; why would you even ask something like that? You were splayed out across the couch, torso propped up by pillows and one leg limply strewn over Steve’s thigh, exhausted from an hours-long playdate at Peter's house. The two of you had been sitting in silence as he read a book and you watched a cartoon on your tablet, when suddenly you popped the question.

“Why, babydoll? Are you planning on turning into a worm any time soon?” He said with a chuckle, which was apparently the wrong answer. Your face fell.

“You was s’posed to say yes, daddy,” you said with a frown. 

“Absolutely I would, my baby, I’ll always love you no matter what.” Steve reassured you, giving a light pat to your socked foot. But you weren’t entirely convinced.

“You sure daddy? You’d still love me even if I was a icky slimy worm?” You raised your eyebrows at him. 

“You’d still be my babygirl, right?”

You thought for a moment, pondering the logistics of worm transfiguration, before nodding. 

“And you’d still have the same loving heart? And the same brilliant mind?”

You nodded again. “Then of course I would still love my beautiful baby, even if you were an adorable, tiny little worm.”

You giggled at this, and repositioned yourself to be nearer to your daddy, abandoning your tablet on the ground. Setting his book down as well, Steve wrapped his arms around you with a smile. As you buried yourself into his body, he softly ran his thumbs in circles on your back. Snuggling into his biceps, you mumbled into his muscles. “You’d have to be careful if I was a worm, cos daddy’s so big and strong!” 

Steve kept stroking your back, but his hands slowed down as he began to get lost in thought. It didn’t take long for you to notice the change in his mood, so you pulled your head out from his embrace to check on him. 

Your daddy had a look on his face you’d never seen before… not sad, but distant. Like his body was here with you, but his mind was back in the past. As soon as he felt your curious gaze on him, it was as if he snapped back into reality. Not wanting you to worry, he put on a soft smile and kissed you on the head, but you couldn’t let that moment go. “What’s wrong, daddy?” You asked, your eyes serious and pleading with him to be honest with you. He thought to himself for a moment and took a heavy breath.

“You know, babydoll, daddy didn’t used to be so big and strong. He was small once upon a time” Your eyes widened in disbelief.

“You mean you were small like a baby? Small like me?”

Steve nodded, cracking a smile at your shocked reaction.

“That’s right, only I wasn’t a baby. I was a grown up, but my body stayed tiny.”

“How come?”

“That’s just how I was born, sweetpea.”

“And then you work out lots and lots and eat your veggies and turned into big daddy like now?”

Steve sighed again. 

“Not quite, angel. You see, I tried really hard to get big and strong like I am now, eating my veggies just like you said, but nothing helped. Then one day, a scientist gave me a special medicine, and it made me grow. All this happened before you were born, babydoll, so you didn’t know me back then.”

You furrowed your brows in contemplation. Although Steve had omitted any details unfit for a youngster like yourself, he hoped it still made sense in your tiny mind. You just couldn’t believe it though, daddy was always known for being strong and brave, it was even in his theme song! The thought of him being anything other than the man you’ve always known and loved just wouldn’t compute in your little head. Steve could tell you were still confused when he had an idea. Carefully, he stood up with you still entangled in his arms, and brought you over to the big bookshelf in the living room. 

Steve went straight to the top shelf, the one you couldn’t reach, and pulled down the old photo album you’d always been curious about. The worn leather of the cover reminded you of an ancient spellbook, and no matter how many times you asked, Steve had never brought it down for you to look at until now. He brought it with him as he sat you back onto the couch, and took a seat next to you, opening the book across both of your laps.

Inside the book, you didn’t find spells at all, just pictures of people you couldn’t recognize. Black and white photos of a boy, who kind of reminded you of your friend Peter. He wore clothes that were just slightly too big on him, almost like he was pretending to be a grown up instead of actually being one. And his face looked familiar.

Suddenly, your jaw dropped. You looked up at Steve, back down to the photograph, back up at Steve, over and over, processing the puzzle you had just put together. “That’s you, daddy!” You cried out.

“I know!” Steve laughed. “Can you believe it?”

You shook your head, and resumed staring at the photo, your daddy’s familiar features becoming more and more obvious to you the longer you looked at it. Your attention was only torn from the image after a few minutes when Steve spoke up from beside you.

“Would you still love me if I were small?”

You looked up at him, his hopeful smile and his love-filled eyes. The same ones in the photo you’d been studying for the past five minutes. Softly, you reached up to cup his face in your tiny hands, feeling his cheeks fill with warmth as you did so.

“Same smile… same eyes… same daddy?” You asked.

“Yeah baby, same daddy.”

“Then yes. I always love daddy, no matter what.”

[tacit-semantics]

hey, apologies if this is an unwanted question, but do you have any tips on finding resources for learning bobbin lace? I’ve started learning myself, but I’m struggling to expand beyond a torchon ground bookmark, and to understand clean color + pattern changes, if that makes sense. Love your comic panel piece btw!!

Oh hey, not unwanted at all! I love answering questions like these!! Anyways in a move that is sure to surprise everyone, I got excited and this got a little long so under the cut we go

Anyways first off- cannot recommend Jo edkins’ site enough. Fantastic instructions, info on different styles, grounds, stitches, etcetera, and there are these animated demonstrations of a lot of the stitches that really helped them click for me :) anyways this is where I did (and do!) the bulk of my learning, in no small part because it’s also free sjsjjs

Bookwise, my favorite is Lessons in Bobbin Lacemaking by Doris southard. Relatively easy to find, and there are a lot of patterns for strips/edgings in there that you can copy over. My version’s also printed on this really nice thick paper which is not immediately relevant but I DO consider it a plus

I’ve also used The Torchon Lace Workbook by Bridget M. Cook with some success, though I did find the process of copying the patterns over a little more difficult with this one. The patterns themselves are very nice though, and while I went into this one already knowing how to work Torchon, from the looks of it the introductory section is pretty solid, and there’s lots of fun color stuff going on in the patterns

Anyways you’ll probably notice that this is mostly torchon stuff- that would be because as of right now, I mostly make torchon stuff and it’s also a very very good starting point. Now, as for finding resources on your own: antique pattern library my beloved. Light of my life. Anyways, this is all public domain stuff which historically I find a little more difficult to use in terms of actually learning how to do things; the text tends to be very small and I struggle to parse the illustrations, but a)that might not hold true for you aksjsj and b) once you’ve got a general idea of how things work there’s a whole wealth of patterns right there!! All free!!!! Antique pattern library I love you. Anyways going to internet archive and searching bobbin lace is also always a very good bet, and similarly accessible. This is generally what I do when I want to find info on something either without spending money, or if I know there’s not going to be a lot of more modern books on it, like for filet lace

Now, back when I first started, I also used lynxlace a lot which was a site dedicated to the making of various kinds of lace- unfortunately it seems as though the site itself is no longer available, but it’s still accessible through the wayback machine. This site often references the owner’s book- I haven’t read that and I’m not sure if it’s still available, but if you find that the way the free lessons are presented works for you, then that might be worth looking into. This site also has a resources section linking to other sites/books- as a general rule that’s also a fantastic way to find more, well. Resources aksjsj. Honestly, I’d recommend checking if all of the books/websites that you like have a resources/works cited/other books section or something equivalent. Following any links will probably require liberal use of the wayback machine, but it really is worth it if you wanna build up a bigger resource base :)

Anyways, I hope this helps!! My more general advice is to just have fun with it which I suppose seems a little obvious?? But it can get very very easy to get caught up in the specifics, and especially with something as fiddly as lace. Dont be afraid to experiment!! Try what sounds interesting!! I wish you the best of luck with your projects, and also I’m very glad you liked the comic panel piece I loved making that sksjsj that was so much fun

[withonly-sweetheart]

Bloody Dove

You didn't know the effect a vampire's eyes could have on you, or your life. Fooled yourself into thinking you were his pretty little dove, didn't you? Well, all pretty things must rot eventually.

a/n: aight... so... uhm... @eyesofsix UR ART WILL FOREVER HAVE ME IN A CHOKEHOLD... LOOK WHAT U MADE ME DO 😔 this one's short and sweet like u <333

the second pic in the banner of leon is by them, go check them out i cannot tell you how talented they are all my moots are so talented i cant anymore 😭

tw: mentions of blood, character death, gore, stuff like that i dont know if i can classify this as dead dove actually but just in case!

wc: 1.3k

The night was cloaked in darkness, the type only a small, secluded village could offer. The moon hangs low in its humble abode, accompanied by twinkling stars as its silvery light casts eerie shadows that dance up to you, interrupted by an occasional passing car.

It’s so quiet you can hear the wind whispering eerily outside. 

Equally eerie is the man leaning against the light post, eyes reflecting light like twin stars that never leave your motions as you approach. It’s unsettling, to say the least, so after a few minutes, you turn to glare at him.

“Do you need something, sir?” you hiss.

“You’re out late,” he remarks, voice smooth and velvety, carrying a hint of amusement. There’s something hypnotic about his tone, an intensity that makes it hard for you to respond, and his expression tells you nothing more.

“I'm traveling,” you reply grudgingly, trying to make it obvious that you don’t want any small talk.

But his gaze is fluid, languid, uncaring. “Strange time of year to be traveling.”

“Yeah, well, I hear Canada is pretty nice right about now,” you grumble.

Surprisingly, that sparks a soft laugh from him, something unsettling when compared with his mysterious demeanor. The man's lips curl into a sly smile, his eyes glinting with an unknown intent. 

"Aren’t you funny?" he murmurs. 

On second thought, maybe booking a taxi would be better after all. But just as you’re about to pull your phone out of your pocket, he says something that startles you enough into hesitating.

“It’s become far too deserted, here,” he whispers, almost to himself, so quiet you might’ve missed it if you weren’t strangely tuned in to his voice. “It’s been so long since we’ve had a visitor.”

“I’m not staying for long,” you mutter back, almost as soft.

“Leaving so soon?” he attempts, chuckling dryly. You glance at him through the corner of your eye, admiring how his hair falls in neat waves over his eyes, reaching the corners of his lips, when pulled back reveal unnaturally sharp canines. 

“Mhm,” you say absentmindedly, eyes fixed on his teeth. He catches you watching, and his sly smile widens, revealing what, now exposed to more light, resemble glinting fangs. 

“I might just melt," he purrs, his voice sending a sudden spike of heat spearing into your stomach. “Watch your wandering eyes, darling. They might land a sweet girl like you into unwanted trouble.”

“Trouble?” you say, thoughts slipping through your fingers like grains of sand. “What kind of trouble?”

“Why don’t I just show you? After all, I have you right where I want,” he says, twisting to look at you, eyes softening at the corners, mouth quirking up. “You’re bolder than most, I’ll give you that much.”

"Thanks, I guess," you say, shaking your head to clear the strange haze that falls over your thoughts. "I’m not interested, though."

"Not interested?" he repeats, eyes narrowing. "You’re asking for it with those eyes."

"I’m not asking for anything," you reply firmly. "My attention just wandered for a second. It happens."

"Happens, you say?" His tone remains light, but a tightening around his swirling eyes betray his irritation. "I suppose keeping your eyes to yourself happens to be a good idea, no?'"

“I think I will,” you say defiantly, dipping your chin, not as a sign of submission, but of arrogance that you hope irritates him enough to keep him away from you.

But the silence that stretches the minutes into hours only adds to the guilt that slowly drips onto your back, drenching your shirt, an unpleasant feeling that craves to be satiated.

“Sorry,” you mumble. “I mean it, sir-”

“Leon,” he interjects, letting his head fall against the metal of the pole. “Please. Not sir.”

“Leon,” you finish, testing out the name on your tongue. It rolls through your mouth like a sweet caramel, or the iron tang of blood. What? “I, uh, didn’t mean it. Really.”

For a long moment he says nothing, studying you through tawny wisps of hair that escape his neat, uniform lines. Then, with obvious reluctance, he shrugs and flashes a cocky grin that fails to reach his eyes. "As you wish, little dove. No harm done."

Of course, no harm done is never the end.

Not for you. You convince yourself that you have control over everything.

But those eyes…

How could you ever say no to those eyes?

<><><><>

Your opulent surroundings seem normal, as if silently mocking you, the tales of your past seeming to drip from the pearls of blood, running into crimson rivulets from where Leon’s teeth pierce your skin.

“You don’t put up much of a fight, do you?” he muses, wiping his lips with the back of his hand, smearing your memories across his face. In some twisted way, you admit he looks good. “I might start to assume you like this little game we’re playing.”

His eyes refract the little light that passes through your own, turning them an odd shade of green, emerald against your pale skin.

“You shouldn’t, you know,” he whispers, breath tickling your neck, fanning across your strained muscles. “Give in, this quickly. What would happen if someone else got their hands on you?”

The idea seems to spark through his mind, the consequences, everything that might happen, just as he says it. His fingers curl around your arm, and something’s switched.

You wonder why he has such an effect on you, why he’s gotten you helpless under his touch, just the ghosts of his fingertips everywhere. Your aunt must be wondering where the hell you are.

Heaven, you think, intoxicated on a feeling you can’t grasp the word for. Your life drains from every star he pecks into your scarred, far from pristine skin that seems to stretch for miles, being marked like a map.

Leon’s lips find the mountains, follow the rivers, murmur soft, loving compliments against the lakes and ponds between your legs, pooling everything that you feel, caged in his arms and legs, spread out for him to explore.

"Trouble seems to find you regardless, my dear. Perhaps it's in your best interest to remain… unfound, for now,” he suggests.

"And what would keep me from running?” you muse, mind already floating to another plane of existence, staring back down at you, ascending through dimensions.

He smiles, small and mirthless. "Trust is a luxury. I would like to think that you would enjoy being with me forever, no?" His voice sings like bees buzzing, like their sticky honey in your ears, dripping from his tongue, sweet like his words and the pout of his lips as he shifts to nose your chin. 

“Think of how sad I would be if you left. It isn’t healthy, growing so attached to a little dove I’ve met so quickly and must release so soon.”

So you’ve become his anchor to peace, kept in the room of his heart, if only for a moment while you sing cries of pleasure. You can tell from the desperation clear in his voice, close to falling apart, that it’s been quite a while since this has happened.

But before you realize it, your short life soaks his sheets, painting your story in a redundant shade of ruby that sparkles in the moon’s smile.

And you slip from his embrace, the bloody, broken dove he carved you into with his fingers, sharp arrows that shot you from the night sky.

<><><><>

 He doesn’t notice the roll of your eyes until it’s too late. Until you’ve gone limp in his hands, cradled in his arms. He doesn’t understand why you aren’t responding to his gentle nudges until he presses his nose to your throat.

There is no movement. No pulse.

It feels as if the world is his symphony, his to keep, to cherish. Everything around him stills and takes a breath, watching you in your dying glory. 

Leon sighs wearily, slightly disappointed.

He had hoped you would’ve lasted longer than that.

[jasper-pagan-witch]

hi! sorry to bother you, but i would like to get into pop culture paganism and am intimidated by all the.. everything people are talking about that i dont understand. do you have the most basic, "explain it like im four" crash course for learning PCP? [i feel the need to specify, i dont think im interested in being a witch at this time, i just have a pop culture deity id like to venerate] [i think thats the right word? worship? work with? idk]

thank you very much!

I'll happily help, anon.

WARNING! This post is a very, very basic introduction to Pop Culture Paganism, and I'm writing from my own perspective. There's no way I can cover everything. Please let me rest.

Let's start with some abbreviations:

PCM = Pop Culture Magic, the usage of elements of pop culture in one's magical or spiritual practice

PCP = Pop Culture Paganism, the usage of elements of pop culture (including but not limited to pop culture deities or characters-as-deities) in or as one's religious practice

PCD = Pop Culture Deity, an entity who is worshiped as or is a deity in their source material

PCE = Pop Culture Entity, any entity from a pop culture source (any PCD is a PCE, but not all PCEs are PCDs)

And some of my own definitions (yours may not be the same!):

Veneration/worship = including a figure in your religious practice

Work = creating an agreement with a figure in a magical or spiritual practice, which may or may not be religious in nature

Devotion = worshiping one deity above all others, that deity becoming your patron

All of these have been greatly simplified for ease of use in this guide.

PCP can be done in addition to or in place of other religions. Due to the nature of the phrase "paganism", a polytheist approach is implied but ultimately isn't necessary - there are plenty of pop culture pagans who only worship one PCD/PCE. I practice both PCP and """mainstream""" polytheism.

PCP can be done in addition to PCM, but the two can also be mutually exclusive. I, personally, practice both PCP and PCM.

The primary appeal of PCP is that it is deeply personal. Many people who engage in PCP find that starting their religious practice from the ground up, or in using familiar religious practices from their culture that they're used to, is a lot of fun. Others love the source material(s) that they're drawing from so much that practicing PCP is just a natural way to continue expressing their love for it. There are a thousand reasons to practice PCP.

Some of the """mainstream""" polytheism issues appear in PCP, too. Gatekeeping, cliques, the insistence that deities have to "choose" you...a lot of toxic ideas tend to show up, just because of how online spaces work nowadays.

"That's great, Jasper, but how do we actually do this?" I'm getting there, dear readers, I promise.

Decide your approach. What pop culture source are you drawing from? A video game? Music? A book series, or even a standalone book?

Outreach. Do you build an altar or shrine? Make an offering? Write a poem or invitation? Pray? Wait for the PCD/PCE to reach out first? Do you create them yourself?

Set expectations. What are you going to do? What do you expect? Do you want to communicate back and forth, or just pray and not expect a direct answer? Figure out what you want.

Continue developing. Your PCP practice will likely not remain the same as time goes on. Let it grow, and let yourself grow with it.

Hopefully this is a very beginner-friendly 101 style post! For further resources, please check out my Pop Culture Magic/Paganism Resources Masterpost.

~Jasper

[fipindustries]

Ditko's legacy

a really interesting thing i noticed about steve ditko is that not only he was a prolific creator of iconic comic book characters. but the pattern that his characters follow to fame is particularly odd and it tends to repeat itself.

let's start with the most iconic of all, mist aracnid human himself

an interesting thing is that ditko only drew spiderman until issue 38, afterwards the art was taken over by john romita sr.

in many ways romita's version of spiderman is the definitive interpretation. whereas under ditko peter was actually kind of an immature, prepotent jerk, under romita he became a lot softer and classically heroic. romita is also the guy who designed mary jane watson, it was under his tenure that the green goblin's identity as norman osborn was revealed. in many ways john romita's work was was finally turned spiderman into marvel's mascot.

so neat, right, what else did steve ditko do. well, he created another iconic character for marvel. a very Strange Doctor indeed

for this guy i dont have as much history but i think it would be fair that he was relatively an obscure character, someone you were not familiar with unless you were really into superhero comics... until 2016

when he was interpreted by superstar tumblr sexyman extraordinaire benedicto cumberbacho. thanks to that and his role in the avenger's endgame movie now the guy is a bit of an icon and a respectable IP on his own right.

but we can go even more obscure than that, let's check another character created by ditko, a character so obscure that is literally incognito

created in 1967 by ditko for a now defunct company called charlston comics. his original appearance was actually incredibly short lived. so much so that he was cancelled that very same year he was created.

but then, in 1987, dennis O'neil decided that he was interested in that character and so we got

in here the character was radically changed from a staunch objectivist into more of a zen buddhist philosopher. in many ways o'neils run is the best run the question ever had and the version that tends to be the heavier inspiration for all other subsequent adaptations.

but actually how about we go even more obscure than that, how about we go to a shady guy driven to madness...

once again, ditko made, in 1977 for DC, a strange man from another dimension whom, with the help of his stolen M-vest he could transform into a huge difigured version of himself. as ditko was wont to do, his stories were very surrealistic and psychodelic. as is often the case his work was cancelled after only 8 issues. forgotten by time until, courtesy of the british invasions of the 80's/90's on the comic scene, we got

a story that became far more explicitly political, a crude, surrealist examination of the american culture, touching on topics such as alcholism, the hippie movement, gender theory and abortion. an absolute masterpiece if you want my opinion and probably one of the best comics ever made. once again all other successive adaptation we got of the character tend to borrow a lot more from this version than from the original.

ok one final stop in this ride of ditko creations. who else is left you may wonder, is there something this guy has not created? well, you see ditko could be a heady philosophical creator but he was not above being a little silly from time to time, and that is how he ended up coming up with

yes you heard that right, squirell girl!

ok to be fair, this one was not created by ditko, he was just the artist. the actual creator is will murray, but bear with me here.

created for a superhero special in 1991 as a fun jokey character, she was never really meant to have her own book or series or anything like that.

after being introduced she kept appearing her and there and with every new appearence the gag that she could beat any character started to get built up more and more, beating dr doom, thanos, eternity and god knows who else until finally, in 2014, she actually got her own run written by none other than the creator of dinosaur comic Ryan North

not going to lie, i personally always thought the art was really bad, but it became a fairly popular book, getting high praise from most critics and even winning an eisner award in 2017

conclussion

i think it's absolutely fascinating that ditko has this pattern of creating incredibly iconic characters who become popular and known by a later adaptation by another artist who takes the character on a whole new direction. he seems to be really good a seeding ideas and establishng concepts but there are fertile grounds in the hands of other artists.

if there is one character that has survived this process is his strong, stalwart, objectivist hero who thinks in incredibly rigid, unbreakable rules about good and evil, up and down, black or white.

mr A

and why is that? well, its very simple, the ancient greek philosophers already established this millenia ago. everythng that exsts has a specific nature, each entity exists as something in particular and has characteristics and has characteristics of what it is.

A is A.

[poraphia]

"Four Medium-Sized Coffees, One Big Fat Work Crush"

lvjy!wilbur x manager!reader 1457 words • 8.9.23 request by @mrssabinecallas! "lead singer will with a manager reader! they book all their performances and bring them coffee every morning, just happy to be there with Will and their friends"

requests are still open!! dont be shy :3 pt. 2 here <-

How to be a good tour manager: 1) Bring them coffee every morning 2) Don't fall in love with the lead singer

♡♡♡

Y’know, when I signed up for this job, I didn’t expect the roller coaster of emotions and action that would come with being an on-tour manager. 

I especially didn’t think I’d end up falling for the lead singer of Lovejoy, William Gold.

I have been a stage director for concerts for a couple of years now since I graduated from university. I worked for different venues, taking up jobs such as being in charge of soundcheck and directing the lights. After years of hard work and a resume of experience, I was finally offered my first opportunity of being an on-tour manager for a rising band that was touring the world.

I have to admit, it was different. I was constantly away from home and on the road. The one thing genuinely battling this homesick feeling was the constant adventure and excitement we faced in every city. From sitting awkwardly in an Uber as the driver told us horrific stories, to running around the late-night streets tasting cuisines we had never heard of before.

I remember on the first day, I was a nervous train wreck. I spent most of that night pacing around my hotel room while occasionally practicing in the mirror how to greet the band, how to talk to them, and how to even shake their hand. It wasn’t until the peak time of 4 AM I decided that I should keep things simple (and that I should probably go to sleep because I had to wake up in three hours).

I met up with the band at our first venue for a soundcheck. When I got the text that they were arriving shortly, I ran to the nearest cafe and ordered four coffees, each with a simple shot of espresso, two scoops of sugar, and a cup of milk. It was basic, and it wasn’t guaranteed it would be something they’d love, but I was far too deep to turn back around and return the coffee. Plus, wouldn’t that be a super awkward situation? Oh, hey Mr. Barista! Sorry, can you refund me these four coffees after I walked in the blazing city heat for roughly ten minutes before—

“Hi,” A deep, posh voice caused me to snap out of my thoughts. I looked around, not even realizing I was already at the venue, and the man was holding the door for me. He was tall with disheveled curly hair and he wore a striped T-Shirt with some basic black jeans. Glasses rested on the bridge of his nose but more importantly, there was the guitar case slung across his shoulder.

“O-Oh, thank you!” I stuttered, rushing past him to avoid any more embarrassment. He softly chuckled behind me before closing the door. I turned around, half-smiling to shake off the embarrassing situation I’ve seemed to stumble in.

“You must be (y/n), right? Our manager?” He asked, his eyes trailing from my face to my lanyard, to the cardboard cupholders presenting four hot and fresh beverages. 

“Yeah!” I exclaimed a bit too loudly. Guess that’s another check on the list for what will keep me up tonight. “I, uh, I got these coffees for you guys! Just to help you guys out with the jetlag and all…” I trailed off in the end. But thankfully, the man smiled and took a random cup, slightly pursing his lips to retrieve the beverage only to flinch back, laughing.

“Holy shit, this is hot.” He chuckled. I couldn’t help but laugh along as well. “Oh, fuck, where are my manners– My name is Wilbur, Will, William, honestly call me what you like.” He shrugged. “My other mates are right there and are practicing on stage right now. There’s Ash, Mark, and Joe.” He pointed to the respective person, each calling out their name. 

We both began to walk toward the backstage area and continued talking. As Wilbur walked nonchalantly with coffee in hand, I struggled to catch up to his long strides while also maintaining the balance of the rest of the drinks.  “It’s a funny way how we all became a band actually–” He turned around. Noticing my struggle as he spared a few milliseconds so that I may catch up. Will chuckled before continuing to walk at a much slower pace.

Once we arrived in the backstage lounge, I pushed the door for him with my back. He thanked me before walking past. “Oh, (y/n), I would like to mention something–” He said, turning his head to face me. I tilted my head, anticipating. “Next time you get us coffee, I’d like mine with two cups of milk!” He smiled. “Although, it is perfect as it is anyway. I’m sure the rest of the band would love it.”

As I watched him finish up his coffee and make his way to the stage, my mind was set on a new goal:

“Find out Lovejoy’s desired coffee orders.”

From that day forward, I brought them coffee every morning. From meeting them on the tour bus, at soundcheck, to even waiting in the hotel lobby. I would listen closely to what comments they would make. If Joe slightly mentions to Ash he doesn't like sweet coffee, I'll remember to add less sugar. If I heard Mark asking around for creamer, I'll remember to put more cream. My petty rule for myself was that I wouldn't dare ask them directly about their preferences. It was a fun little game for me, and it only took Wilbur a little over two months for him to notice.

Wilbur and I were sitting in the tour bus booth area going over the set list when he brought it up. "Hey, (Y/N), can I ask you something?" He said, tapping at his cardboard cup. I looked up from the piece of paper I was writing on to meet his eyes. 

"I know what you're gonna ask– I've already asked the stage crew if we could add smoke for The Fall along with some more flashing lights during Warsaw." I explained, pointing at the paper with the pen I had in hand.

Wilbur let out a soft chuckle with the softest smile on his face. His hair covered a bit of his eyes but even then I could see the reflection of light making his pupils sparkle. His laugh caused a fluttering sensation in my chest. My hands and stomach tingled as if dozens of butterflies were dancing on my skin. Was I.. Getting flustered?

"No, no, I wasn't going to ask that." He spoke gently. I held my breath, a little embarrassed for my rambling. "Though I do appreciate it all. You've picked up so much about us as a band in just a couple of weeks." He held the end joints of my fingers between his grasp as he spoke, fidgeting with them as he talked. 

"Oh, well…" I felt the blush creeping to my face. "that is kind of my job." I chuckled.

"Also you've been getting our coffee orders perfectly I've noticed. Mark was raving to me earlier about how good it tasted. Ash even posted it in his story." Wilbur said, reminiscing on his mornings with his friends. 

I couldn't hold back the biggest smile on my face. It took every nerve of my body not to jump up on the table and do the goofiest, happiest dance of my life. Instead, I nodded and hummed, using my thumb to rub circles into his hand.

"I'm really glad to hear that. This is my first on-tour job, so here it's just–" I stumbled over my words trying to find the right phrases, but I was so overwhelmed with giddiness I just sighed. "Thank you…"

Wilbur looked back up to meet my eyes again. His cheeks were dusted with the slightest bit of pink as he examined bits of my face. I wanted to take in every feature of his as well. From the small mole near his eye to how pink his lips were. How pretty his lips are… they look so… Soft–

"(y/N)! Wilbur!" Mark called out from the other end of the bus. Immediately we pulled away from each other, sinking ourselves in our opposite-end seats from embarrassment. 

"Yeah?! What is it, Mark?" Will called out, but he dared not to turn around to face him. 

"We're in LA now! You guys ready for our last gig in the States?!" He asked excitedly.

Oh, God. 

It was the last gig. 

Which means… 

I looked over to Will, who also had a slight shock on his face as if it slipped his mind as well. 

This is it, I suppose. 

Who was I to think I would get my happy rom-com ending?

♡♡♡

my wilbur soot masterlist ~! a / n ~ i have a part two idea for this already omg should I do it?? reblogs and likes are super appreciated!! they be motivating me :33

[chinomiko]

hi! i know it must be kinga boring for you recive questions about castiel bc ppl are obsessed ober him for years but like the other person who asked you a few days ago, i follow you (and ply mcl) for like 10 years and ever since day one my fav boy has been tiel. till this day at the age of 22 he's my favorite and my comfort boy so i joke that he's not a fictional character anymore for me and that i know him personally at this point lol

with that being said, i bet you can imagine that over the years i've been elaborating his personality beyond what the game gives us but he's your boy, you created him therefore you know him and your word is canon, so i'd like to ask a few stuff!! nothing too big, dont worry but here we go.

tiel is an amazing songwriter and since he's very emotional not very good at express it (he does it a lot better now that he's an adult 🥹) i bet his lyricism is very deep and poetic so i have this headcanon that he at first wouldn't like taylor swift because obviously lol but then he payed attention to her lyrics and ends up basically being a swiftie since he likes her writing a lot. what you think about that?

and what kind of music crowstorm sings? like there are any bands that you listen and think "hey this would be in a crowstorm album!" (i have a playlist with this name btw lol). im probably wrong on this one but since this is my fav band i like to think that catfish and the bottlemen are the irl crowstorm, musically speaking

and the last one: another thing that gives me so much comfort is the lystiel friendship. not having present parents, being so closed off i know that lysander is such an important presence on tiel's life because he was basically the only close person he had (specially after the debrah fiasco); if lys didnt had taken the farm and went to college and bla bla bla do you think he would still be part of the band with castiel? im not sure if im mixing the canon with a fanfic i read a while ago (lol) but the band was more of a fun thing to lys, right? he liked writing most (i always imagined him getting into a literature degree or something like this). i also like to think that he helps tiel with lyrics at times, even if he's out of the band (in my head the canon is that they are best friends and pretty close till this day, i pretend lys never left our lives just like armin)

anyways sorry for this big ask 😭 i dont even know if you will read it all but if you do, thank you! and dont feel like you have to answer, i know its too much its just that mcl is my hyperfixation till this day like for real, i have a fanfic that i write still and i even plan on making it into a book sometime. except from the main characters (who is my oc) all the characters will be based on the game's ones :)

ilysm take care and stay hydrated!!

Hellow !

Aww thank you so much and for all your love for Castiel ^^

What a long ask, I'll try to answer in order.

Castiel being a swiftie. No sorry, I don't think he would be. If candy likes her, I'm pretty sure he would try to listen. Also he is an open minded person for sure, so I'm sure he would be curious to listen and study what all the hype is about, it could also help as some sort of far away inspiration, but I don't see him being a fan.

What kind of songs Crowstorm sings This is hard to answer because my musical knowledge is pretty limited and I'm sure I would miss on lot of potential groups or singers that would fit well. And it would require too much research time to have a real detailed and clear answer, but I still did check a bit and here is a little list of songs/groups that I think would have a fitting vibe for Crowstorm

City of the dead - Hollywood Undead The worst in me - bad omens Paranoid - I prevail Trauma Just pretend - Bad omens Ice Nine Kills - A grave mistake Catfish and the bottlemen sounds nice but I think its a bit too soft for what I imagine for Crowstorm.

What is his voice like I think something similar to this (not necessarily the song itself, just the voice. )

bonus, I think this song is so so fitting for Castiel's breakup song, I love it. Dial Tone - Catch your breath

Castiel and Lys friendship. It was'nt mentionned much in UL/LL because I didnt wish to bring too much drama by mentioning Lys when he was not there for the players, but of course Lys and Cast always kept in touch. It is very clearly mentionned in Lys' AL that they keep in touch, that Lys helps Castiel write songs and Cast also like to come to his farm to have a break and spend time together. You should play it if you havent, you'll have a good chunk of Cast and Lys friendship :) However yeah I can confirm that Lys would not like to do it serisouly and professionally, but he'll be all the way around to support and help Cast.

[munson-blurbs]

i am alrREADY SENDING IN MY REQUEST SO I DONT FORGET AND I NEED THIS

Peanut Butter Cup - Nerds

IM SO EXCITED.

Fake dating/Bookworm!Reader/Steve Harrington

Warnings: fake dating, Harrington familial dysfunction, drunk family members

WC: 1.1k

Divider credit to @saradika

Steve had heard it all from his parents:

“Why don’t you have a girlfriend yet?”

“Just go out on a date, Steven.”

“You spend all damn day at that video store; you’re never gonna meet anyone that way.”

He normally shrugs it off, until his parents give him an ultimatum: get a girlfriend before the annual Harrington Family Reunion in two weeks, or don’t bother showing up at all. 

“Twenty years old, and you barely passed high school, work a dead-end job, and don’t even have a girlfriend,” his father mutters, disgust marring his features. “You’re a disappointment.”

The insult reverberates around his skull all day: disappointment, disappointment, disappointment. It’s not the first time his father has hurled the term his way, and it likely won’t be the last, but the impact continues to sting.

It’s still gnawing at him when you walk in the door, sliding a VHS copy of The Shining across the counter with a bashful smile.

“Sorry, I know it’s a day late,” you apologize, already digging into your bag for change. “How much is the fee?”

Steve dismisses the notion with a wave. “Don’t worry about it,” he says, already checking the movie back into the system. “You, uh, went to Hawkins High, right?”

“Mhm,” you confirm, zipping up your purse and hitching it back up your shoulder, “class of ‘86.”

“‘85,” he chirps, clearing his throat to temper his enthusiasm. “Anyway, hope the movie was good.”

You nod and smile again; the gentle upturn of your lips has Steve melting. “It was. The book was better, though.”

And that’s when Steve finally places you: back in high school, you volunteered at the school library and, on more than one occasion, had helped him find a book for research projects. You were pretty then, and you’re even prettier now.

“I haven’t read the book,” he admits, embarrassed that he hasn’t read much of anything besides a comic book or two since graduation. 

Your jaw drops. “Well, now you have to!” You grab your car keys from your back pocket. “I’ll swing by tomorrow with my copy, if that’s cool?”

“Y-Yeah, ‘s cool,” he stutters, giving his head a soft shake to shift the hair from his hazel eyes. He watches as you walk out of the store, the sway of your hips drawing him in. 

He probably would have stared forever if Robin hadn’t cut in. “Hey, Dingus, you’re drooling.”

You stop by Family Video the next day to drop off the book. And then a few days after that, you go there again to grab another movie. Soon enough, you’re a regular customer.

“Can I ask you for a favor?” Steve blurts out from where he’s standing next to you as you peruse the horror section. “Feel free to say no, to tell me to fuck off, and I will. I will just…fuck right off.”

“Shoot.”

“Could you pretend to be my girlfriend at my family reunion next weekend? Nothing weird,” he rushes to add, not wanting to imply any unwanted contact. “Just hand holding, arm around your shoulder…no feels will be copped, I swear.”

You pinch your eyebrows, perplexed. “Is this the trade-off for having my late fee waived?” you tease, thumbing The Exorcist and tugging it from its spot on the shelf. “Because I’ll pay it.”

Steve laughs, shaking his head. “Nah, just tired of hearing my folks complain about me not having my life together. Figured if I showed up with a smart, pretty girl on my arm, they’d shut up for a little while.”

Your face burns at the compliments, both at the words and that King Steve is the one saying them. “What’s the dress code?”

You and Steve arrive in his Beemer, his hand already pressed to the small of your back as you walk into the restaurant. A room filled with Harringtons greet you as you enter the room, and your stomach flips as you wonder if you can pull this off.

“Showtime,” Steve murmurs in your ear, taking you around the room to meet his family. You’re suddenly self-conscious of where your black dress lands on your thighs and the cut of the neckline. Sure, Steve had approved it, but what did he know?

You note that he’s been gazing at you since he’d picked you up earlier, eyes drawn to you like a magnetic force. It’s part of the whole bit, you try and convince yourself, but something nags at you that Steve isn’t that good of an actor.

The conversations go as easily as they can; you spend the evening peppering in “facts” about your relationship that you and Steve had rehearsed over and over. Some of the details were truthful, like meeting at Family Video and bonding over horror movies. Other parts were much more embellished: relationship duration, your first date, the way Steve bragged that you were the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid eyes on.

It’s smooth sailing until Steve’s inebriated father stands up, clumsily clinking his knife to his wine glass. “I’d like to make a toast,” he slurs, swaying as he speaks, “to my son, Steve, and his girl! Never thought I’d see the day he’d land someone like her.”

Your eyes remain glued to the floor, waiting for the moment to be over, but if the impromptu speech wasn’t awkward enough, one of Steve’s equally drunk uncles calls out, “Give her a kiss, Stevie!”

Steve shakes his head with an uncomfortable chuckle. “Nah, we’re not really into the public–”

“Aw, c’mon!” His boisterous voice echoes throughout the restaurant. “Kiss, kiss, kiss!” he chants, and soon enough, most of the family joins in.

“Shall we shut them up?” Steve mumbles, turning to you. “Y’don’t have to…”

“N-No, we can.” It’s not the most conventional first kiss, but then again, nothing about this arrangement is normal. “We can just…”

Steve’s hand is on your cheek, nose nudging against yours as your lips press together. This isn’t a simple peck; no, it’s far more involved, more intimate, than you had anticipated.

You melt into him a bit more, resting your own hand on his bicep until the kiss comes to an end. The men hoot and holler; the women exchange awws.

“Now that,” Steve’s dad guffaws, clapping a hand on his son’s back, “is the kiss of true love!”

You manage a small smile, wondering exactly what just happened. The kiss was the best of your life, and it was supposedly just for show.

Steve’s breath tickles your earlobe as he whispers, “he may be drunk, but he’s not wrong.” His cheeks are pink at the admission.

It’s certainly a conversation you’ll need to have later, but you can’t say you disagree. For now, your fingers intertwine with his, and you give them a quick squeeze. 

Maybe it’s the wine, but you swear you love him back.

--

[cumulo-stratus]

“Lend Me Some Vanilla?”

Pairing:spencer x Baker!reader

Description: Y/n goes to spencers house to ask spencer if he has any vanilla extract when theres a possible gas leak and no ones allowed to leave their aparment until the morning when someone can come check it out..

Warnings: fluff, one eensy weensy curse

Flufftober Day 14: Locked in/trapped

A/N: ik the "Gas leak" is shit but I couldn't figure something else out I'm sry guys😭😭

"knock knock knock" 

Spencers attention was pulled from his book by the sound a of a knock at the door. Wondering who it was- Spencer hoisted himself from his comfortable spot on the large leather couch to answer the door. 

“creakkk”

as the light of the hallway bled into the much more dimly lit apartment, a man in sweatpants, a white shirt that read “bad-ass baker” is a rainbow font (u know the meme font im talking abt), and an apron with bits of flower and egg splattered over it.

“hi im so sorry spencer- but i really need some vanilla extract- im on my last batch of cookies and i ran out. I would ask if it wasn’t super necessary but since i had to close my bakery because its under renovations right now, so to make money i’ve been doing orders and making them from home and i need to get these cookies done tonight im so sorry-“

“i have vanilla..”

spencer cut off his neighbors rambling, silently inviting him inside while he fetched the vanilla.

“thank you so much by the way, i can make you something as thanks!”

y/n stood awkwardly behind the couch, eyes surveying the room. spencers back was to the common area, his arm outstretched to reach the top shelf of the kitchen cabinet. Spencers body language was comfortable, as he and y/n had been friends since he moved in 2 years ago, and he knew the baker well. spencer knew him as the neighbor with silly shirts and a bakery, and the neighbor that gave him the extras that didnt get sold at the end of the day in little plastic take out containers. 

“Oh no its okay the leftovers from your bakery are thanks enough”

spencer said with a chuckle, and y/n laughed too. And just as spencer was walking over both y/n and his phones dinged from the pocket of y/ns apron and the coffee table where spencer had left it when he got the door. Y/n pulled out his phone, seeing a text from the landlord. As y/n read his face fell, getting the attention of spencer and causing him to ask;

“What? Is something wrong?”

“check your texts- Larry sent something about how we cant leave our apartments..”

The look on spencers face was one of confusion, and he grew even more confused when he read the text detailing that no one was to leave their apartment- at any cost because of a possible gas leak, meaning they had to send people to check in the morning- but until then Larry didn’t want to risk it. 

“soooooo.. what do i do know?”

y/n looked to spencer for guidance, wondering what to do. spencer didn’t quite know either, but being the rule follower he is he decided the best course of action was for y/n to stay. He also knew the statistics of gas leaks and how dangerous they could be- so he wasn’t taking any chances. 

“well, i dont know how safe it is to be in the hallways right now, its probably best if you stay here until morning, or at least for a couple hours until Larry can get someone in here to check it out..”

now if this was most anyone else y/n would’ve just declined and held his breath while he walked the 10 feet to his door down the hall, but this was spencer. And much to no ones surprise, y/n had been crushing on the FBI agent from afar for 6 months now. He was in love with his style, his apartment (from what he’d seen), his face, his hair. Y/n had a tendency to romanticize things, just ask his friends, and this was the perfect opportunity. So when spencer proposed he stated over night just to be safe, y/n agreed almost immediately.

“ya i should probably stay the night, just to be safe you know? And by the way, if im staying over night do you mind if i put my apron in your kitchen? i dont wanna get flour on your couch…”

spencer chuckled and nodded, using his chin to point towards the kitchen where y/n could leave his dirtied apron. After y/n left his apron splayed out on the counter, abandoned spencer chuckled at his shirt, which was now visible. When y/n noticed spencers laughs he looked at him confused, following his line of sight, and he was met with his shirt. 

“oh ya- my shirt? i got it as a joke gift from a friend- and i couldn’t help myself”

they both chuckled at this while y/n moved across the room to join spencer where he had taken his spot on the large leather couch back. Y/n plopped down next to spencers, sitting as far away from him as he could without it it being awkward- or at least more awkward than it already was. because little did Y/n know but spencer had been simultaneously admiring y/n from across the hall. And when y/n suggested they watch a show spencer took the opportunity to do away with the awkward silence, suggesting Doctor Who. y/n almost immediately agreed, taking the remote from the coffee table and handing it to spencer to pull up the show. 

Once the show had started, the lights of the TV screen illuminated the room while spencer pulled a blanket out of a basket and spread it out over both y/n and himself. And unconsciously y/n scooted closer to spencer, hoping for more warmth from the soft throw. Or maybe more warmth from spencer, who knows..

After a couple episodes, y/n eyes were beginning droop as he had been up since 5 am, baking. Spencer- the ever profiler- noticed this. But despite the fact that y/ns blinks were gradually gaining length each time- he kept shifting a little bit, trying to get comfortable. And now if it had been a couple hours ago when y/n knocked on the door then spencer would’ve never done it, not in a million, billion years. But now they had been talking and watching their show for at least 2 1/2 hours now, spencer giving facts and corrections, y/n giving opinions, for the pair to then debate upon. And spencer felt confident enough to invite y/n to lean on him.

“ you know, if your tired.. then i dont mind if you wanna lay on me- you must be tired…”

“ya- how did you know..?”

Y/n’s voice was that of someone who was already half asleep, the constant sound of the tv lulling him to sleep before spencer could even answer. But spencer didnt mind- he loved admiring y/n, his face so incredibly peaceful. And he thought to himself, ‘the cookies can wait till morning’, before soon doxing off himself.

The End 

[thelov3lybookworm]

Hey!!! It's my birthday! So I was thinking if you could write something of az x yn birthday fluff?🥺 even a small blurb would be ok. If not I totally understand!

Excited.

Summary: Y/n and Azriel spend some time together on her birthday, which leads to unexpected confessions.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: Happy birthday sweetheart, hope your day goes great 🥳🫶 Its small, hope you don't mind!

Also, this is set right after the war.

•○🌑○•

Y/n walked to the fireplace of her small apartment, the tray in hand laden with all the stuff dhe loved and some of her favourite tea. She was going to read a book and enjoy a quiet evening on her birthday. It was a gift to herself.

She hadn't heard from any of her friends today, despite it being her birthday. But knowing them, they probably had something elaborate plan and wanted it to be a surprise.

But honestly, even if they forgot about it, she wouldn't mind. She needed some quiet time to herself after months of continuously being in their presence. With countless meetings for the war planning, she had barely been alone for more than a couple of hours.

It wasn't that she didn't like spending time with the inner circle. But they could be too much at times.

A quiet knock sounded on the front door, making Y/n groan inwardly. She got up, making her way to the door and opening it to find Azriel standing there, smiling.

Her heart stopped in her chest before starting again. She smiled back at him, opening the door to let him in.

He stood there awkwardly, not having visited her before, not really. Whenever he had come to her place, it was always because she was needed somewhere. He had never come in.

She tugged him to where she had been lounging a moment ago, telling him to settle down.

"Tea?" She asked.

"No, thank you." He said. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good. How are you?" She passed him a cookie that she knew he liked. He accepted it with a smile.

"Good enough. I didn't see you around the house, so I wondered where you were. That's why I came to check if everything's okay. Oh, by the way, happy birthday." He leaned closer to kiss her cheek, and she blushed fiercely.

The male she had been pining for centuries for was here, in her apartment, and she didn't know how to react.

"Th–thank you." She tried to hide her face and he chuckled. She swallowed in an attempt to calm the butterflies in her stomach.

They sat talking for quite some time, when suddenly he stood.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes. Its just that I somehow forgot that Feyre and Mor had told me to get you the River House."

"Oh." She sounded disappointed, even to herself. She shouldn't have been, but she didn't want her time with Azriel to end.

He smirked. "We can stay here if you dont want to go."

"That's not–"

He was suddenly leaning down, his hands on the couch by her shoulders, his face in front of her. And then he was kissing her. She stared before her eyes fluttered shut.

When he pulled back, she stared at him, her eyes wide.

She couldn't believe it. Azriel had... kissed her.

When she kept searching his face, he faltered, the smile on his face slipping. "I'm sorry, I should have asked if–"

She didn't let him finish, kissing him again. He chuckled when they separated. Y/n swallowed, looking away from him.

"We can stay here, you know. Continue this."

She smiled coyly. "Don't you think they will throw a tantrum? Our family isn't the best at waiting. We're lucky Cassian isnt breaking down my door right now."

He laughed, helping her up from the couch. "We can continue later then."

Her heart fluttered.

She was excited to say the least.

•○🌑○•

Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess

[tetsuswaifu]

Can you do HQ boys hcs w an astrology girlie ( like she can do brief analytic about others personality based on their d.o.b ( yerr ofc not always 100% correct)) thank u so muchhh 🥰

Haikyū!! Astrology HCs

⋆ ♱˙𓆩☠︎︎𓆪˙♱ ⋆ feat: (Bokotu Kōtarō, Kozume Kenma, Kuroo Tetsurō, Suna Rintarō, Oikawa Tōru, Iwaizumi Hajime, Akaashi Keiji) x f!reader

word count: 1030(including names and signs)

a/n: i used a website to get their big 3 signs, i dont know what time and where they were born so i put them all born at noon and in tokyo to try and get the most standard chart for all of them. also got more information from other websites to get an overall understanding. i hope this was to your liking and the format you wanted, i was struggling to figure out what would be best 🫶🏼 also hopefully got these readings somewhat right , lmk if i missed writing about someone you wanted specifically, thank you again for the request, youre welcome love, have a wonderful day/night ! 🫶🏼

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated, thank you for taking the time to read my work :)

sorry not proofread completely

・❥・Bokotu Kōtarō・❥・

-☀️Virgo🌙Aries ↑Sagittarius-

this man is so enthusiastic and supportive of you being into astrology. he loves how passionate you are about it and eagerly listens any time you have an analysis on someone, especially if it's him. he might not understand it but he's your number one supporter.

this man is so eager to know everything about his birth chart, like he's calling his parents to get the details right.

you tell him his virgo sun explains his hardworking and detail-oriented nature. his aries moon adds to his energetic and impuslive personality, and his sagittarius rising shows his adventurous spirit.

he often asks you to explain his horoscope to him, like he's convinced astrology is the reason for his mood swings. "babe, is my moon in a bad spot today? i feel off"

i feel like he would definitely try and learn it to impress you, but would get things mixed up and signs crossed, creating hilarious misunderstandings, "oops"¯\_(ツ)_/¯

・❥・Kozume Kenma・❥・

-☀️Libra🌙Cancer↑Capricorn-

kenma is an open-minded person, but initially he is skeptical to it. he doesn't believe it much but he does enjoy seeing you excited about it. he's also an observant person so if you gave him an analysis of someone, he would def look for signs and mentally take note. sometimes you're right and he will be taken aback by how on point your description was.

you would explain his libra sun makes him a balanced person and diplomatic, while his cancer moon gives him a sensitive side which can lead to moodiness from him. his capricorn rising makes him appear serious and stoic to people who he doesn't normally interact with.

kenma will give in sometimes and ask for a horoscope, especially if he's stressed about a game or project he's working on, "this game is kicking my ass, can you tell me if luck is in my favor today?"

if kuroo is ever being extra around him, he will always say something along the lines of "he's being such a scorpio today" to you and you can't help but laugh. even if he is being sarcastic he's right most of the time.

・❥・Kuroo Tetsurō・❥・

-☀️Scorpio🌙Taurus↑Aquarius-

he is so playfully curious, definitely teases you about it. he absolutely would be respectful about it though. whenever you have an horoscope, he listens intently. mentally combs through his astronomy knowledge to see some cross over, but he would also enjoy debating you about the validity of it. having that banter with you, being flirty and playful during those talks

he is interested in his birth chart to see if any of it is actually true, so he wants all the details. his scorpio sun gives him a magnetic and ambitious personality. taurus moon is strong in him, making him emotionally steady and practical. you explain his aquarius rising makes him unique and progressive, often very friendly and confident.

off the books he's checking to see your compatibility online. he learns a thing or two from his research. he's very perceptive and uses your astrology insights to plan surprises for you. he knows when you might need excitement or extra comfort.

"does my scorpio sun make me intense enough to handle your love for astrology?" always smirkin'.

・❥・Suna Rintarō・❥・

-☀️Aquarius🌙Aries↑Taurus-

he doesn't care much about astrology, but likes hearing you talk about it. well he loves hearing your voice, he's always interested. he will be sarcastic towards you about it and joke around from time to time.

he'll send you astrology memes and tiktoks that he stumbles upon, often making you laugh.

his aquarius sun makes him independent and a great listener. aries moon gives him a self-sufficient and fiery personality, sometimes having a reactive behavior to him, but also caring deeply for the people in his life. on the flip side, his taurus moon gives him calmness to combat his fieriness. 9/10 he's a steady type of guy

on the down low he probably looks up teammates birth charts to get a better understanding. "no wonder the twins are the way they are."

・❥・Oikawa Tōru・❥・

-☀️Cancer🌙Sagittarius↑Libra-

this man is genuinely so interested in astrology and anything you tell him. he does his own research so he can have an educated conversation with you about it. he believes it helps him understand himself more and appreciates your daily horoscopes.

he loves discussing the compatibility between your signs and jokes about how they are destined to be together.

his cancer sun makes him a caring and sensitive person, always in touch with your feelings. his sagittarius moon is strong in him, making him focus on what can be done and not what can't. libra rising gives him all the charm and charisma. "you think my signs make me perfectly balanced for you?"

・❥・Iwaizumi Hajime・❥・

-☀️Gemini🌙Gemini↑Virgo-

he's a pragmatic guy but open-minded to it. haji is skeptical about astrology but he appreciates how much it means to you. again, another respectful guy, willing to listen but doesn't believe it himself. he does ask questions though to better understand you as a person.

his gemini sun and moon make him adaptable and curious. it aids him in being communicative as well. the virgo rising in him gives him humility and practicality, making him very structured.

sometimes you will give him astrology advice if he’s stressed, giving him it as an option in case if his other stress-relievers aren’t working

“does my double gemini signs make me twice as unpredictable?”

・❥・Akaashi Keiji・❥・

-☀️Sagittarius🌙Taurus ↑Pisces-

a very thoughtful listener, for sure. he enjoys what you have to say about astrology, finding it interesting himself and enjoys learning from you.

he appreciates your thoughtful way of analyzing personalities, often nodding in agreement with you.

his sagittarius sun makes him inquisitive and independent, he's got a philosophical side to him. taurus moon in him makes him emotionally stable, no wonder bokuto and him work so well. pisces rising makes him intuitive and friendly, accepting people for who they are.

akaashi is the type to get you books and star maps, or anything astrology related that looks legit. he finds your insights helpful for personal growth, which in turn, brings you guys closer.

"either our stars are aligned or your influence is just strong on me" with a wink, of course.

[isdalinarhot]

on the state of kholin haterism on tumblr

this is gonna be a long one, so bear with me.

one thing i think that has changed in the tumblr fandom in the three years that ive been in it is that the culture in 2021 was ALSO at a largely anti-Kholin sentiment, but there were two key differences.

the first is that most people making critiques of such characters would use the tag #kholin critical, which was useful either if you were sensitive to criticism of one of the kholins for whatever reason AND if you wanted to read analysis of some of their faults by many different users under one tag.

the second is that said kholin critical criticisms were... less stupid? like a lot of it was talking about reddit fandom hypocrisy where dalinar was held up as righteous and badass and could do no wrong even though he had tons of personal and political faults that other characters (largely people who WERENT extremely powerful nobles) were demonized for. also a lot of stuff like "adolin is kaladins friend now but i dont think just categorizing it as simple enemies to besties is fair because adolin WAS being overtly racist to kaladin at the beginning there". a lot of discussion about how the Kholins treat darkeyes and characters of lower dahns where the bigotry there was being downplayed by fans in favor of the characters being painted both by fandom and in the universe of the books as Always Right All The Time. stuff like that.

that's not to say the whole kholin crit tag was all, like, stuff that isnt bullshit. people have been dunking on elhokar for being a whiny failking since the beginning of time. but the vibes were a lot different.

kholin critical kind of fell out of favor as a hashtag because most of us realized hey on a doylist level either the things we're criticizing the kholins for are purposeful character flaws that make for richer, more realistic, more engaging characters; or they're oversights from the moderate liberal Sanderson, in which case, why are we complaining about Dalinar doing this, when we should be complaining about Sanderson doing this. so this whole thing is stupid. and also by then the atmosphere on tumblr was way different, this was by and large the Moash Website and while people were haters about characters they did not put the hate in character tags so people largely avoided each others haterism. and there was peace for like a year and a half, i guess.

things are way different now. for context. i track the #dalinar kholin tag. so whenever my dash is dead im checking my tracked tags, and thus i see every original post about dalinar that someone decided to tag #dalinar kholin. and boy howdy, things have devolved. this used to be a chill experience for me, i'd see first time readers go OH MY GOD HE DID WHAT?????? during oathbringer and "[some philosophical shit dalinar said]" -brandon sanderson. follow for more inspiring book quotes" about three times a day, fanart once every couple weeks or so, stuff like that. but now a solid 75% of the posts in dalinars tag are like. hate. not literary criticism, but hate. sometimes about justified things, sometimes about unjustified things, but still, extremely negative.

in a bubble, that's fine. god knows ive been a hater on my blog before and ill be a hater on my blog again. and its not even like im opposed to reading well thought out criticism of my faves on any level because, like, dalinar is kind of a rat bastard! but like. listen. you don't put character hate in that character's tag. you don't do that. the people who are checking a character's tag are fans of that character and fandom is for fun. being a hater directly reaching out to the lovers for comment is rude as hell.

also a lot of the things people dislike about dalinar tie back to his neglectful fatherhood and his alcoholism which is, like, a thing i understand people would have strong negative feelings towards him for having because Neglectful Alcoholic Dad is like one of the top 10 kinds of abusive dads out there so lots of people have very visceral very personal experiences related to that. but when posting about this in any form whatsoever it feels like im having to go back to Treating Addicts Like Human Beings 101. like i feel like ive made a billion posts to the tune of "okay kids, you can do bad things while drunk and you are still responsible and you can also get drunk at inopportune times and you are still responsible, but the act of being addicted to alcohol does not make a character ontologically evil". and like thats. um. a personal thing but also oh my goodness.

i dont really have a conclusion to this. im just thinking goddamn its bleak out here right now.

[lululandd]

run devil run;

pairing: simon ‘ghost’ riley x gn!reader

word count: 662

warnings: angst? ish? ghost is a coward (again)

note: yall need to be nicer when asking for part 2’s, im glad yall like my stuff enough to want a continuation but damn dont just order me around lmao

summary: its just you two in a bookstore and he mistakes you for an employee.

Simon walked into the bookstore with the intention of getting The Hobbit™ to prank Soap on his birthday. He walked around the fiction aisle for ten minutes when he realised he had zoned out and wasted his time. His mind had decided it wanted to be somewhere else for the time being and so he looked for an employee instead.

He spotted you at the bargain bin, checking the back covers before placing them back in a neat row inside the bin. Walking closer, he heard you mutter to yourself how expensive these bargain books still are and assumed that you weren’t an employee. 

The front desk looked empty when he came in, and after a quick peek he saw it was still unoccupied. Maybe his assumption was wrong and you were an employee after all.

“I’m looking for The Hobbit.” He addressed you as he came closer.

He watches as you dig deep in the pile, tilting your head sideways from time to time while prodding around as you try and search for the book he was looking for. A few moments later you triumphantly hold it up and hand it to him.

“Thanks. You man the register too?”

Blinking slowly at him, he vaguely registered in the back of his mind that the woman sitting by the bargain bin might not be an employee, and just a random civilian that just wants to buy some cheap books. 

Fuck.

“I’m not an employee–” “Sorry I didn’t mean to–”

A smile involuntarily pulled at the corners of his mouth, “You looking for any specific books?” He asked as he pointed to the pile in front of you.

You hesitantly shake your head, “No, not really, no.”

He decided to be chatty today. He hasn’t heard any other noises in the bookstore, so it was still just you and him. There’s no point waiting alone when his mind runs around, it might go somewhere dark and he would like to avoid that.  “Why are you arranging the bin then?”

Simon Riley thanked his past self for wearing a mask because the incredulous look you gave him definitely made him grin from ear to ear. It’s so cute how you’re not shy with your facial expressions. He would love to play poker with you.

“Uh… No reason..?” Your tone lilted at the end, as if you’re unsure of your answer but he senses it’s because you want him to fuck off, kindly.

“Pick a few, they’re on me.”

As he hoped, your expression brightened, “For real?”

He nodded. At the same time, he heard someone come in and walked towards the cash register. 

You chose a book from the neat pile and handed it to him.

“I did say a few.” He insisted.

You shook your head, “No! One is more than enough, thank you so much.”

“I’m picking ‘em at random if you keep being stubborn.” 

His inner boy giggled at how you panic and quickly scan the pile once more. Grabbing two more, you half shoved it into his hands. “Here. Thankyou again.”

“One more.”

“I will run out of this store if I really have to take one more.”

He couldn’t help but bark out a laugh as he walked towards the front. Placing the books down on the counter, he asked the cashier “You got a habit of just leaving the store unmanned?”

“Sorry, had an emergency. Thanks for waiting.”

“All right.” He assures the man, before pointing at your books. “These are separate.” 

From his peripherals he can see you anxiously wait—shifting your weight from one foot to the other—and it threatens to pull sore memories of Tommy to the surface of his mind. If he stayed longer he knew he wouldn't be able to suppress the resurfacing thoughts of his brother so he took the book he was supposed to get for soap, threw cash on the table and walked out without looking back.

part ii.