#i would angstily listen to billie eilish and fucking. imagine dragons. then in 2020 it was sweet hibiscus tea by penelope scott
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ok so earliest i can remember having actual suicidal ideation was like maybe a week after billie eilish dropped everything i wanted. it was really new but idk exact details. which was october of 2019 so three months out from the end of the year and we are currently three months out from the start of the year so 6 months then 12×4 is 48 + 6 is 54 so uh. officially at least 54 straight months or 4 and a half straight years
#sui tw#was just doing the math there because i was curious. because i found out the other day that it was october 2019 i had no clue lol#i remember getting obsessed with her when that party song got popular on the radio. probably earlier that year#when the partys over or whatever#i remember being like woah how does she not have a vibrato thats so impressive i could never... lmaooo i sounded so pretentious#i would angstily listen to billie eilish and fucking. imagine dragons. then in 2020 it was sweet hibiscus tea by penelope scott#god then dad read me that stupid fucking poem from bojack horseman. the view from halfway down. and i was scarred for life lol#didnt do anything to help me tho lmao mostly just made me write jumping off things in my ways not to die list
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