#i would also do this. btw. friendly fire is enabled

[frankiebirds]

normal behaviour at a party <3

[jojotichakorn]

Dear Arthur (ehh! Archer 😳) and my fellow chevaliers,

Me and my notepad are back on our bs 💪, so let me try to respond to what was said before. (I hope my previous ask came through somehow.) Regardless of who celebrated any holidays, I just hope everybody joined in this gathering had a wonderful couple of days. ✨ I should warn you beforehand that this ask grew excessively long as well as excessively disorganised. 😬 So, keep that in mind. My apologies in advance for the chaos that is about to ensue. 🌪

First of all, dear Archer, I would like to direct my attention to you. My compatriots are known for their direct and sometimes blunt demeanour. Everything can be said here (as long as you’re within the constraints of common decency). But something that is nearly heard as often is “thank you.” After studying a foreign for 5+ years , I picked some of its cultural habits, including that touch of politeness and respect that comes with “please” and “thank you.” So without further ado, I would like to thank you, Archer. Over the course of the last month, I’ve grown attached to the network of anons you created here. (I like reaching out to them almost as much as I like reaching out to you. Although I have to admit most of our contact has been nothing if not contentious. 😉) You might scoff about it, claiming you aren’t needed anymore whenever I write to “new anon”, “star anon” or “unreliable anon”. But however you want to put it…in the end you are the linchpin that of slightly elaborate, very meta group chat. If you don’t publish all of our messy asks, and to some degree answer them, there would be no way for us to find each other. No Arthurian legend, no table of knights. So maybe the only conclusion we can draw is that you are in fact the Round Table. The one element that brings us together, and enables us from an equal distance; all on an equal footing. (Round tables don’t have a head, they don’t distinguish between table guests -> like every-(an)one is the same when they reach out to your blog. 🖤)

Talking about tables, yes unreliable anon, I was in fact referring to your quest for “tables to flip when ep 9 airs.” Not that ep. 9 wasn’t “table-turningly” intense ftr. Because it definitely was. I still haven’t recovered. 🥲

Before I head into battle with unreliable anon, I’ll briefly address my your other anons. New anon, I certainly saw your message. And what Archer said about me is right. That being said, I’m afraid I can’t reveal much else about my identity. At the moment, I’m duelling unreliable anon, while in pursuit of star anon. 🐎 And, as every fierce warrior knows, it is extremely dangerous to lift one’s helmet while in combat. So for now, I’ll remain shrouded in mystery. 🌫 Reliable anon, one of my more sympathetic correspondents, a VERY belated, yet VERY sincere happy birthday from me. 🙈 I hope you had an amazing day and that you were bestowed with gifts and grants. But most importantly: love and cuddles. 💚 I am still looking for my “fab maiden” (I don’t really care how “fair” she is; I am also open to handsome gallants or the fanciable humanoids of the forest 💗💜💙), but if she were as tender to me as PatPran is to each other, I would be a blessed earthling. Again, I would like to especially welcome virgo anon and lost anon to the table. In my quest for the big picture, I unfortunately overlooked the smaller contributions to discourse. For which I offer my humble apologies: it won’t happen again. Dear star anon, I hope my eager chase for your homestead hasn’t disheartened you too much. I only come with friendly fire. ✌️ And what would we do without our own minstrel, song rec anon? We would all be starving without your food for the soul! 🎶 You’re the real MVP! 💖

That leaves only one guest, I haven’t spoken properly to: unreliable anon, our tight-lipped talker. 🤐 I share your “wai-ryness” about the plot btw. And my mind is already filled with rationalisations. In line with my “tradition,” I’d like to drop an unpopular opinion now. ⚠️ I believe that how the plot deals with Wai (as well as his sudden and radical shift in behaviour) is part of the bigger synopsis, and will introduce a new source of tension buildup. In fact, I have an entire theory about this and about why Wai has the potential to be a very interesting character (from a narratology pov). If I Archer were to consent to this entirely unasked for crack theory, I wouldn’t mind sharing it. (I originally intended to post it on my own blog…but on second thought, I don’t really have the courage to do so. 🤫)

As for your identity, I’ll play my court cards close to my vest ehhh coat of mail for a while. 🃏 But I can reveal you might have given me a significant hint in your first sentence. (I guess those “crusaders” in our time and long after that were more successful than expected. 💀) Moreover, I fully agree with Archer here. You may be a burn the bottom at times (I’m not gladly opposed ⚔️), but we love your input here! ❤️‍🔥 And for you goes the same as for star anon and the others: don’t worry, I don’t have any relentless zeal to unmask and “out” anons. For me the challenge is simply to deduce where some(an-)one is from. 🤓 But it’s all friendly fire; if it rubs someone the wrong way, I’ll pack my saddlebags and aim for other horizons. 🧭

To return to you, Archer, I’ll evaluate what other (less quarrel inducing) topics I can introduce when I’ll talk to you again. 😅

~ operanon 🎼

P.S. I have a truce too. If you can guess my country correctly, I’ll offer up a valuable clue about the concept behind my anon identity. 👊

P.P.S. As far as I know, there is no group chat, right @ohmpatwat ? So patch yourself, unreliable anon, before Mordred smells blood. 😰

P.P.P.S. Not to brag, but I am fairly certain I’m the eldest in our fellowship. (Someone’s gotta do it. ��‍♀️)

P.P.P.P.S. A smal contribution for humour’s sake. 😜

well, dearest operanon, i thank you back for coming here and joining our wonderful roundtable! i never considered myself the table itself, but in that case, i hope i am made out of some pretty and tasteful wood. i will be leaving the rest of your message to the rest of our roundtable, but i would love to hear your wai theory!

re: p.s. - i will think it over and get back to you with my theory!

re: p.p.s. - indeed, no group chat!

re: p.p.p.s. - perhaps, but are you entirely sure?

re: p.p.p.p.s. - i appreciate it immensely!

[ichbinderklaus-blog1]

Professor Layton and the Unwound Plot

So I’ve finally played Professor Layton and the Azran Legacy. What follows is an accurate, abridged and annotated account of the game’s events.

Here be spoilers.

Raymond (who definitely isn’t Descole’s butler): Please solve this mildly challenging puzzle to prove that you’re smarter than a 5th grader.

Game: Psst! It's a trap!

Me: You don't say.

Sycamore: Behold! A female homo sapiens, preserved in ice for hundreds of thousands of years longer than homo sapiens have existed.

Layton: Seems legit.

Brony: We’ll be taking that girl.

Layton: We’ll be taking her back.

Brony: Eh, whatevs. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Game: Actually, his name is Bronev.

Me: No, I’m pretty sure his name is Brony.

Aurora: I speak English for some reason.

Igor: *exists*

Layton: Observe, Luke, the tragic effects of generations of inbreeding. Hmm, that reminds me of a puzzle!

Me [speculation mode]: So, is “Desmond Sycamore” Descoles true identity, or did he kidnap the real Sycamore and impersonate him? And is he Layton’s brother or not?

Sycamore: I'm chums with your parents, BTW.

Layton: Oh? How peculiar. I shall not enquire further.

Me: They're totally brothers.

Everyone everywhere: Hi, I speak English for some reason. Also, I haff tvelve metchsteek.

Layton: Quack, quack.

Me: GAH!!! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Sycamore: How is joke told.

Me [review mode]: These puzzles are actually better than they’ve been in many years. And the destinations are like charming miniature Layton games. The only problem is that the main story is put on hold for so long.

Villagers: Human sacrifices FTW!

Luke: Professor, are we in the right game?

Layton: I would assume we are, Luke; there doesn’t seem to be any Japanese – I mean, American lawyers around.

Me [speculation mode]: I guess the plot twist here is that the trap isn’t a trap. Beyond his desire for revenge, Descole/Sycamore actually has good intentions. He needs Layton’s help against Targent, and he probably also wants to spend some time with him on friendly terms before he reveals who he is.

Sycamore: Heh heh heh...

Me: Oh crap.

Game: Plot twist! It was a trap!

Me: *sigh*

Descole: Yes, it is I, Descole! My friendly façade had you fooled, Layton! I have used you for my own selfish goals, because I am evil!

Me: *groooan*

Descole: Not that i really needed your help, I just wanted to spe–

Everyone: . . .

Descole: *blushes*

Everyone: . . .

Descole: I... just... wanted to spell it out for you that I most definitely did not enjoy the time we spent together. Because I'm evil!

Everyone: . . .

Descole: *runs away*

Layton: Quick! After him!

Luke: Look, Professor, a hidden puzzle!

Descole: Oh, it's you again. Didn’t I tell you I’m evil?

Me: Grrmblrrl...

Game: Oh, you thought that plot twist was too obvious, huh? Well, how about this one: Emmy was a spy the whole time, and now she's threatening Luke with a knife!

Me: WHAT?! YOU FUCKERS! THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!

Emmy: I'm maybe not entirely traitorous.

Me: THAT DOESN’T MAKE THE PLOT TWIST ANY LESS STUPID!

Layton: Luke is in danger!

Descole: I want to make it clear that I don't give a rat's arse about that boy's wellbeing, but I suppose I have no choice but to come along.

Statue: IMMA FIRIN’ MAH LAZER!

Descole: Don't worry Luke-chan, I'll save you!

*ZZZZZAP*

Game: Hey, you know that thing you suspected, about Layton and Descole being brothers?

Me: I barely care anym–

Game: They're brothers.

Me: Great.

Game: Here's a shitload of exposition.

Me: Great.

Descole: I gave you... my name... for some... unexplained... reason.

Layton: I suddenly remember everything.

Descole: I suddenly do too; I gave you my name because "Hershel" sounded so bloody daft.

Game: Also, Bronev's their dad.

Me: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

Layton: There they are! We have to stop them from going through that door!

Luke: Look, Professor, the door is a puzzle!

Layton: Allow me to help you through that door.

Descole: I’m still alive, apparently, and now everything’s awkward.

Aurora: If you save the world, you will die! And if you don’t save the world, you will die!

Layton: Oh-ho! Since this is a prequel, Luke and I are guaranteed to survive! Sucks to be the rest of you, though.

Descole: It’s not like I want to save the world, but if I’m going to die anyway I might aswell.

Layton: See, Luke? We survived! And so did the others, apparently.

Aurora: You did it! You passed the test!

Azran spirits: Uh, it wasn’t a test, though? They were just supposed to di–

Aurora: *spiritual elbow*

Azran spirits: Uh, yeah, test. You passed it. Congrats.

Aurora: As a reward, have all our magicky science stuff.

Layton: Nah, we’re good.

Emmy: Hey, is the ship falling apart?

Aurora: Well, you said you didn’t need it.

Descole: Ah, the perfect time for a dramatic exit!

Brony: Yer a Theodore, Hershel.

Descole: Now, how to explain my complete absence from the sequels? I obviously can’t be the antagonist anymore, and there’s no Targent left for me to pursue. Heroically sacrificing my life didn’t work – twice – and I’m not going to make a habit out of it. And I’m certainly not going to rot away in jail. I could – technically – go back and reunite with my brother, but that would be really awkward after that dramatic exit I did. Besides, it's not like I like him or anything.

Raymond: You will find a new purpose, Master. The world is your oyster, and old Raymond your constant enabler.

Descole: You're right! Character development? Closure? Pah! I'll just sod off and be evil somewhere else! Did I mention I’m evil?

Raymond: That you did, Master.

Emmy: I'm sorry for being a traitor, Professor.

Layton: I forgive you for being a traitor, Emmy.

Emmy: Oh thank you!

Layton: I won't forgive you for being a stupid plot twist, though.

Emmy: ( *◕︵◕)

Me: So, Professor Layton’s name could have been Ted Brony. That doesn’t sound like a serial child molester at all!

Game: ROLL CREDITS!

Layton: Luke, my boy?

Luke: What is it, Professor?

Layton: Let's forget that any of this ever happened, shall we?

Luke: Right-o!

Layton: Well then – *adjusts MiB-style mindwiper* – see you on the other side, Luke!

*FLASH*

Some time later...

Layton: Luke, my boy?

Luke: What is it, Professor?

Layton: I just received a letter from one of my numerous acquaintances, and for once they're not asking me to put a value on their great-grandmother's chamber pot or any such nonsense.

Luke: Really, Professor?

Layton: Indeed. As you know, I lost my passion for archaeology many years ago (for some reason that I can’t quite put my finger on), and with Dean Delmona my only source of puzzles, my life has been lacking in excitement as of late. But this letter might just be the bringer of a great adventure. Perhaps... our greatest adventure yet! It concerns a village.

Luke: A village? But Professor, what’s so exciting about a village?

Layton: Ah, but you see, Luke – this isn’t just any village. It is... a curious village.