#i wore sunscreen but i don't think i put enough :(

[uneternalvsleep]

went camping and all i got was this sunburn

[spencerified]

hey there again. so this came up to me when I was trying to sleep the other day and it's veeeeery indulgent i have to admit so bear with me. hope everyone likes it. sending loooots of hugs ♡

୨ৎ

It's sunny outside. 

Not sunny enough to cause a sunburn, like the last time you went to the beach, but Spencer still insisted that you wore sunscreen and fussed over you until you put on a decent amount that he approved. He doesn't play about your wellbeing. 

The thought makes you smile. He doesn't miss it. 

"What's that smile for?" He asks, and his lips mirror yours as they curl upwards into a gentle smile. He unconsciously gravitates closer towards you until your shoulders brush against each other, and you playfully nudge your side against his. 

You wait a few seconds until you come up with an answer that won't give away how much of a sap you are for him. In the meanwhile, both of you walk through the park, taking in the sounds of dogs barking, children running around, and the comforting sound of the leaves rustling. 

"It's a nice day out," you smile, looking up at him to try and gauge his reaction. When Spencer told you about his job as a behavioral analyst, you thought reading him would be a task almost next to impossible. But you look at him, and you wonder what could possibly be so hard to read about the way he looks at you and his eyes twinkle like you're something he's been unknowingly longing for and this is the first time he gets to lay his eyes on you?

He's not looking anywhere else but at you when he answers. "It is." 

You don't talk for a couple of minutes after that. Before him, you found yourself always eager to fill in the blanks in conversations; you couldn't stand awkward silences, so you fumbled to find a topic that you could exploit until the conversation flowed naturally. With Spencer, you've found that you can appreciate silences when they're with the right person. You don't find silences awkward anymore because you've realized that the connection between both of you goes beyond what words can express. 

He brushes his pinky finger against yours, retreating back to his original place until you reach for him and link your own pinky with his. Based on his coy smile as he looks away from you and into the gardens, you deduce he probably thinks he's being sneaky, acting like you're the one who sought him out. He's still bashful about openly asking for your undivided affection. It's not a problem when you're still always willing to give whatever he'll take. 

"Look," you say, stopping and crouching down to the garden on your right. He turns around sporting a puzzled expression, and he's about to spout some data about the staggering amount of germs on an average sidewalk as you kneel to take a flower in your hands. You look so in awe he stops. 

Flowers have always been an interest of yours. Very early into the relationship Spencer caught up on that; the first time he noticed, it was because you stopped to look at a cute flower blooming from between the cracks on the sidewalk, mumbling a speech about resilience that he could probably recite from memory right now if he tried to. That same time, you picked each little flower that you ran into on the walk back to your place with the utmost care and carried them around until you got home and you were elated to place one anywhere you found; on the small table next to the door, on the kitchen counter, in the coffee table in your living room. 

And so he made it a point to always bring you bouquets of new, unique flowers any time he could, each bouquet accompanied by his intimate knowledge of their origins, their symbolism, little facts he thinks you would like about them. You love getting flowers, and Spencer loves sharing knowledge with you. 

You pick the flower tenderly, patting down the dirt you may have disturbed by doing so, and hold it out for him as you stand. "It's a sunflower. A little one." 

He takes it in his fingers and analyzes it intently. "It's not really a sunflower." 

"It's not?" You ask; and you peer over to look at the small yellow thing from the same angle and with the same intensity Spencer does. "It's yellow. And it has the brown button thingie there." 

"It's actually a Little Goldstar black-eyed susan. You know, they would appear almost identical to the untrained eye, but there are a few details that set them apart. For example, sunflowers tend to grow taller than black eyed susans do. Not only that, but black-eyed susans have a sort of plain brown button in the center of the flower instead of the pollen that you would find in the middle of a sunflower. You can also tell the difference from a distance because black-eyed susans grow in clusters, while sunflowers tend to be more singular."

You stare at him for a few seconds. "I'm sorry. I can't get past them being called 'black eyed susans'. Who even named them that?"

"I don't know," he says, and you know by the way he tries to hide his smile that he's about to make a bad joke. "Probably someone who really liked a girl named Susan." 

It actually makes you laugh. Perhaps love has played a little trick on you and tampered with your sense of humor, leaving you delightfully unprotected from his endearing nature. 

"You're probably right," you resume walking. Spencer holds the black eyed susan in his right hand while the left holds yours. He wants you to have your hands unburdened for the rest of the flowers he knows you'll pick on the walk before heading home. You think for a second, and then ask: "Would you name a flower after me?" 

"Oh, totally," he says without a second of doubt. "I would plant a whole field of flowers and then name it after you." 

You find yourself entertained by the hypothetical. Maybe you like silences with Spencer; but you also like the way you can say a single sentence and it will unfold into an hours long conversation so easily. No matter how many topics you two explore and rave about, it's like the stream of the conversation never runs dry. 

"What flowers would you plant?" 

He scrunches his nose as he thinks. He would probably ponder less on how to solve the Riemann hypothesis than he is on what flowers he would pick for you. If you were the one asking him to do so, he would most likely find a way to solve it by noon.

"I would choose... something pink. Or white," or both, you add softly to his reasoning. "Orchids, perhaps. They are very beautiful, and difficult to maintain. Like you." 

Your smile doesn't falter for not even a second. Still, you swat his arm lightheartedly. "Did you just call me difficult?" 

"I called you beautiful," he mentions, turning his smile into a straight line as he looks at you. 

"I think I heard difficult somewhere in there." 

"I don't recall." 

[faust-the-enjoyer]

Too Young, Too Stupid

Tags/CWs: fem!reader, reader is 18, dbf!Keegan, Keegan is 38, age gap, unrequited "love", implied nsfw (so MDNI!), cursing, angst, heartbreak.

A/N: Usually my romance/smut/etc fics have the age of the reader be 21+, but for the sake of the plot of this one, it's 18. Should've posted this a while ago but I'm a slow writer, sorry ya'll.

Divider by: @/cafekitsune

You loved him, you really did, you loved how kind he is to you, how considerate he is, loved the way he pinched your cheeks whenever he was over at your parents' house, you loved almost everything about him, even the way his name rolled off of your tongue. And he loved you, so so so much, just not the way you love him. He grew up with your dad, he's his best friend, went to the same schools as him, almost the same age as him, served with him in the marines as well, he was even his best man at his wedding, so he's always been a part of your life. He's the same man who'd babysit you when you were in elementary whenever your parents were out of the house, drove you to school during high school whenever your parents couldn't, and that's when your stomach started to twist into small knots, when you were in your last year of high school. You never knew what those feelings were, until you graduated and went to college, finding newer friends to talk to about relationships and love, and that's when you realised that what you felt was "love", at least that what you thought it was.

You loved him, that's why, when you begged him to go over to his house and use his backyard swimming pool -which he begrudgingly agreed to because that meant that he had to clean it- you wore the best two-piece swimsuit you owned, something that showed off, well, you, all of your body, even those parts that you'd look at in the mirror, and wrongly think that they look bad. In your stupid little head, going to his house, and laying in his backyard while wearing that might get his attention, make him be smitten for you or something, so here you are, laying on a lounge chair in his backyard, body smooth from putting on sunscreen, relaxing with a can of soda in your hand. "Enjoying yourself kid?", he asks smugly as he walks into the backyard, it was a lot of effort to clean that pool up, you get off of the lounge chair, sitting on its side, looking up at his beautiful blue eyes that you've come to love so much, "Yeah, I am, guess it pays off to be a free-loader huh?", he squints his eyes at you, flicking your forehead with his fingers, the same ones you wish were inside you every few nights, "You little shit, I swear to God you better pay me someday.", oh you wanna pay him alright. You try to put on the sweetest voice you've got as you get up and hug his arm, your breasts pressing up on it, "Mr. Russ! C'mon! Why don't you sit here with me and sunbathe a little? It's fun!", he looks over at the pool, then at the sunscreen bottle on the ground next to the lounge chair, then looks up at the sun, squinting his eyes and groaning, "Not in the mood kid, I've got work to do, just stay here and have fun, and get back inside before it gets dark, alright?", you roll your eyes and nod, a little irritated, you'll need a better plan.

After sunbathing for a while then taking a dip in the pool, you went inside as the sun started to set, going straight to the guest bathroom to shower. As you washed your hair and body, you started thinking about another plan that you already made before even leaving your parents' house; at dinner, you should wear that cute, thin pyjama set you brought with you. Being young is being naive, because you kept fantasizing about him in the shower until you wore that set, a simple, thin top that showed off your shoulders, and some shorts that rose a little too high whenever you moved and showed a bit of your ass. It was thin enough, you wiped the fog off of the bathroom mirror and looked in it, seeing how easily recognizable the shape of your breasts is in it, and how your perky nipples were already showing through it, this could get the job done. Maybe. You left the shower to go to the kitchen, where he's already setting the dishes down along with the dinner he made you two. He looked up at you as you walked in, letting out a huff, "Finally, sit down and eat, kid.", why didn't he say anything about your pyjamas? Why didn't he even look at them? Questions started to pop up in your head, questions that you quickly pushed to the back of your mind as you nodded and took a seat, picking up your fork and knife and eating, "So how's college? Heard you just finished your finals, how'd they go?", you sigh and pick up your glass cup, you really didn't know how he kept dodging you like that, was he even dodging you? "They went pretty well actually, I passed my classes.", you drink from your cup as he smiles at you warmly, that smile that he only ever showed his loved ones, "That's good, I'm proud of you kid, keep up the good work.". Your stomach started twisting again, how could you ever deny the affect he has on you? How could you ever deny what his words do to you? As you smiled and kept eating, goosebumps suddenly appeared on your skin, you're only a little cold, wearing something so revealing is -of course- going to make you cold.

So the dinner didn't work, you two ate, chatted, and you helped him clean up the table and dishes afterwards, making sure to hug him and pressing your breasts on his chest before going back to your room, but he never even looked at your chest nor tried to touch you in any "intimate" way, and it pissed you off so much. You had one last chance before bed, and you walked to his room, knocking on his door, hearing a quiet "Come in" as you let a frustrated sigh out. Opening the door and walking in, you saw him sitting on the edge of his bed, sighing and putting his phone on his nightstand, "It's late, what do you need kid?", he looks tired, so tired, "I need...I...", you hesitate speaking as you walk up to him, he looks up at you quietly, giving you a small worn-out smile, "Yes?". It's now or never. You put your hands on him and push him onto the bed, noticing the quiet gasp that escaped him and the shocked look on his face as you spoke firmly, "I need you Mr. Russ...". He pushes you off of him roughly onto the bed, his usually calm face slowly contorting in anger, "What the hell are you doing?". You look up at him as you speak, voice shaking a bit once you saw the anger on his face, "I...I need you Mr. Russ...I love you...", you look up at him hopefully, waiting for any sign of acceptance, any sign, but he doesn't show you one, instead, the volume of his voice rises, "Love!? Are you out of your fucking mind kid!? What the hell are you talking about!?", he gets off of the bed quickly, looking down at you angrily, wanting an explanation. You nervously stumble upon your words, this isn't going like you planned at all, "I love you! And I want you! I want you to love me and touch me! I want you to love me like a lover! Like I'm your girlfriend!". His eyes widen, and you swear you can see one of his eyes twitch, "Are you out of your fucking mind!? I held you when you were a child! I babysat you! I treated you like my own daughter! You're like a daughter to me (R/N)!", you start tearing up, you ruined everything, and you know what's gonna happen now, "But...but...I'm eighteen, it's ok if we-" "No the hell it's not! You're still a kid! And don't you ever bring up anything like this to me ever again!". He started rubbing his temples with his fingers, muttering to himself about how he only ever saw you as his own daughter, about how you're too young and naive to understand anything, about what your parents would say or do if they ever found out about this.

Your eyes widen as you wipe away your tears, a panicked look on your face "Please Mr. Russ...please don't tell them, I'll be in big trouble if they find out...", a look of irritation comes over his angry expression, "I won't, just don't do anything like this again...Jesus kid, I thought you saw me as an uncle or a second father...not...this...". You sob into your hands, you ruined everything, every fucking thing, will your relationship with him even be the same after this? The anger on his face slowly disappears and turns into a look of disappointment as he sees you crying, "Just go back to your bedroom,", you look up at him through your wet eyelashes, he sighs before he speaks firmly "go.". You gave up, going back to the guest bedroom and crying into your pillow, maybe it really is wrong, maybe it really is disgusting, if he, the much older and mature one who has known you all your life said those things, then it's probably right, isn't it? The first man you ever "loved" didn't even love you back, because not only is it odd and perverted of him to do so, but it's also odd on your part, it took you weeks later to understand it, but it was strange to "fall in love" with a man who acted like a second father to you your whole life, and that's just something you'll have to force your aching heart to accept over time. Perhaps it wasn't love after all.

Tags: @pear1escence

[nelsonbodyconfidence]

Today I went to the beach to wear my speedo in public for the 2nd time. When I got there it was busy with lots of people and children around. I wasn't confidence enough to strip to my speedo yet so I walked down the beach a little ways to see if any other guys where wearing speedos. Walking down the beach I didn't see any guys in speedos. It was a cloudy day and it started to rain as I walked back to my car. Everyone was leaving the beach since it started to rain heavily. I looked at the weather report and saw that it wouldn't rain long so while everyone else was leaving I stayed in my car to wait out the rain. Once it stopped raining, I was one of the first people back on the beach wearing only the speedo under swim trunks.

Last time I wore a speedo on the beach I went off to the edge of were everyone stays but since the beach was mostly empty I went to the middle of the beach. There were not a lot of people out yet so I was able to find a spot between two groups that was still a little ways away from them. I sat down and started to put on sunscreen and when I got to my legs I took the swim trunks off before to many people came to the beach.

With the beach mostly empty, I got up and walked down to the edge of the water. I don't think anyone was close enough to tell what I was wearing. The sun started trying to break through the clouds so I went back to my chair before people started to come back to the beach. Some more people started to show up on the beach. I'm was in the middle of two beach access and most people stayed near the access so no one is near me. A lifeguard rode past me on a four wheeler and I must have been at the end of her patrol route because she turned around directly behind me. The second time she rode by she rode in front of me so there's no doubt she saw I was wearing a speedo.

This whole time I've been worried what parents of small children would think of me in my speedo. A mom and her two kids walked past me near the water and didn't say anything. The son who might be about middle school age looked but the mom and toddler daughter didn't seem to care. On their way back they where looking sea shells and I was sitting on the line right where all the shells wash up. They walked right past me less then three feet away and didn't seem to mind. They acted like my speedo was perfectly normal and didn't acknowledge it. A middle-aged woman also walked past me down the sea shell line but she gave me some more space when walking past.

When it was time to go I put my shorts back on to go home. There's more people here than there was when I got here and I'm not ready to walk past all these people in only a speedo yet. I did have to get up in only the speedo and used my towel to brush off the sand from my legs before I could put my swim trunks back on. Next time maybe I'll walk down the beach in a speedo but not today.

Overall my experience wearing a speedo on the beach in the middle of everyone was uneventful. No one said anything to me or gave me disapproving looks. After a few minutes of taking off my swim trunks I felt completely comfortable in only a speedo. With so few people on the beach I think more people saw me when I was on the edge of the beach last time. If I can get to the beach once more time this Summer I think I want to try and see if I have the confidence to try walking down the beach in the speedo.

[writing-with-zoe]

A Quiet Lake (Naughty Version)

Master gathered a few of us around for a big announcement. I was bouncing with excitement and nearly found myself in a tumble pile with Lexi and Izzy, both equally hyped up for the news.

Eva was already sitting in the living room, legs crossed and arms folded across her chest. It had been a hard and long week, she wore the brunt of it on her tired face. I felt bad for her but also remembered my icky times through the week. We needed a break.

“Great news you all.” Master said, walking into the room and clapping his hands together. Lexi and Izzy instantly jumped over and both hugged around his legs. He reached down to pet their heads, giving them both little ear scritches.

“We won the lottery?” Hayli asked. She was sitting across from Eva, twirling her blonde hair around her finger while playing on her phone.

“Not quite. I think we need a break,” he said sitting next to Eva, both Izzy and Lexi holding firmly to his legs as he walked. I could see her bad mood melt down as she laid her head on his shoulder. He gave her a kiss on the top of her head. “We've all had a very long week and could use some time away. I booked us a row of cabins at a lake.”

I walked in and sat down on his lap, mindful of the two below me. “Hey, I was just thinking that same thing.” I said. Master reached over and ruffled my hair and I wrinkled my nose at him but really was happy for the attention.

“See? Great minds think alike. Now, why don't you all go back up a few of your things. Not that you'll be needing much. We'll have all the privacy we need up there. I made sure to rent the entire place. Sunscreen and toiletries. I really wouldn't bother with much clothing.” He grinned and we all looked over to Eva, who wasn't allowed clothing anyways.

A couple hours later we had arrived. The sun was already going down but there were strings of colorful lights all over. Brittany navigated Toby, Maggie and Candy with unloading everything and getting it put away. While they were doing that, the rest of us ran to lay claim to our cabins.

“Now, now,” Master called after us. “No fighting, or you'll end up in the punishment cabin.” Everyone stopped dead in their tracks and exchanged looks. A punishment cabin might've sounded like a fun bratty way to shake the day up, but we'd all come to learn that Master's punishments weren't the fun kind. At least not for the one in trouble.

“Who will be bunking with you?” Eva asked after we'd all come back, trying to be as casual about it as possible.

“That will be determined by a fun hunt.” Master told her, giving her a little boop on the nose. My eyes grew wide. A hunt? Bahaha. I remember the last time we had one of those and- oh no.

Master must've seen my face because he laughed and reached into the bag on his shoulder. He pulled out a familiar object, a tranquilizer gun.

“The rules are simple.” He said, slowly and tauntingly loading up the gun. “The last one standing gets to sleep in my cabin. Those of you left will be at the mercy of our lovely androids to come and find to carry back.”

The worst possible time to get horny but my legs were wobbling and my heart was racing. I caught a glance with Eva, she was already in competition mode, but I could tell she was equally horny at the idea of running around to see if Master would find us.

“Now.” He said, the tranquilizer gun fully loaded and over his shoulder. “The boundaries have been marked. Halo and Omi were kind enough to place goodie bags around with either helpful or disastrous loot for you. You may team up but I warn you that you will become an easier target in numbers. Are there any questions?” More looks were exchanged but a chorus of “no” came back in reply.

“Excellent.” He said, handing his bag to Halo. “Let's begin.” And with that, the game was on.

[writethrough]

Life Guard

(Billy Hargrove x Female Reader)

Synopsis: It's the middle of summer and everyone decides to go to the pool. You don't know how to swim, but at least Billy's on duty.

Warnings: Language, almost drowning, protective Billy

Word Count: 3169

A/N: Here's that protective Billy fic I was talking about! Also, is the title cheesy? It's definitely cheesy. Should I change it? And I just had to use this gif. I mean, look at his back!

The hottest day of the year meant one thing: pool day. Everyone had agreed to meet there after picking up their assigned children.

“I’m pretty sure this is what Hell feels like,” Erica said after closing her door.

You chuckled and agreed, pulling out of the Sinclair driveway.

“You both brought your sunscreen, right,” you asked, looking in your rearview mirror at Lucas and Erica.

They nodded.

“Good. Max?” You glanced toward her before turning back to the road.

“Do you really need to ask?” She tugged gently at her hair.

“Just checking,” you said. “I have extra if anyone needs it.”

It didn’t take you long to reach the pool. When you arrived, Steve, Robin, and Dustin were already there.

You caught the last second of Steve cannonballing and splashing Dustin when Robin waved you all over.

“Finally! The testosterone was becoming too much!” Robin said, dramatic as ever.

“Have you been here long?” You set your bag beside the lounger and took a seat. Max, Lucas, and Erica didn’t waste any time jumping in.

“Ten whole minutes,” she whined, making you chuckle.

“Then it’s a good thing I got here when I did,” you said, grinning.

You relaxed into your chair after slipping your sandals off. The umbrella provided enough coverage to keep the sun off you. It was as cool as you were going to get out here.

Not knowing how to swim certainly put a damper on things during the summer months, but it was never something you were in a rush to learn. For you, summer meant working and saving up for college, not hanging out at the pool—one of the many reasons your friends insisted you come with them. They all knew you couldn’t swim. They also knew a public pool wasn’t the most conducive to learning, but you knew it’d be fine. Robin and Nancy would sit and chat with you anyway. The boys and the kids were the ones who took full advantage of the water.

“So,” Robin grinned, leaning in closer, “who do you think's gonna get water up their nose first?”

You tapped your chin as if in serious thought. “Dustin.”

“I was thinking the same.” She nodded as if you had concluded an important meeting.

Said child seemed to be having a race with Steve and Lucas toward the deep end while Erica and Max were leaning on pool noodles and laughing.

Faintly, a lifeguard’s whistle was mixed with shrieks of joy and splashes. The piece of metal fell to the guard’s exposed chest. Your eyes trailed along his strong shoulders and neck to land on his face.

Billy.

The heat in your cheeks was no longer from the weather.

Your friendship with Billy Hargrove was unexpected, to say the least. His friendship with the rest of your group—even more so. Fighting an interdimensional monster would do that to someone.

He’d changed a lot since last summer. Fortunately, it was for the better. It was obvious in the way he handled his job here. Billy had ruled the pool with an iron fist before. Now, he was less severe. You’d been here a few times already this summer, and not once had he threatened banishment to some too-excited kid who disregarded the safety rules.

You clocked the scars along his abdomen.

It had taken months of reassurance and support for him to take his shirt off. Before then, you never would have described Billy as insecure, but the Mind Flayer stole so much from him. You were just thankful it wasn’t worse. Joyce had closed the gate right on time.

Now, he sat in his chair with his shoulders back, relaxed, and surveyed the area like he used to.

Though he wore sunglasses, you knew he was looking at you when his head stopped in your direction.

You gave him a small smile and a little wave, and he answered with a flirty smirk of his own.

“Get a room,” Robin groaned. “You’re both ridiculous!”

You playfully swatted her.

She’d known for a while now how you felt about Billy. She had caught you staring a little too long, then at a sleepover, made you spill. And it brought you such relief to tell someone.

“C’mon, you’ve been flirting for months!”

“You know he flirts with everyone,” you said.

“Not since what happened,” she countered. “And I know you’ve noticed it, too.”

You had, but you were sure it was just because you'd been there. He had no reason to hide from you. And that gave him the space to be himself again. It’d only be a matter of time before he was chatting up one of the women strutting by his tower trying to get his attention.

She sighed. “All I’m saying is, I think you should give it a chance.” She poked your arm. “You have chemistry, and I know you’d be good together.”

You squeezed her hand. “Thank you.”

She stood, stretching. “Anytime. Now, I’m gonna get something from the vending machine. Any requests?”

“Whatever you’re getting.”

She nodded, walking toward the machines.

You pulled out your book, determined to finish it before you left the pool. Or before Billy got off his shift.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” Dustin called. “Can you bring me my goggles?”

“Sure!” You scooped them up from the edge of Robin’s chair and walked over to him. “Here”

“Thanks.” He gave you that smile you loved.

“Where’s Steve?” you asked, looking around.

“He’s gonna do the high dive. I think he’s trying to impress the girl in the blue bikini,” he said, nodding across the pool.

You shook your head slightly. “He knows that won’t actually work, right?”

He shrugged. “I tried to tell him.”

“In other words, ice cream is a must after this.” You usually followed the same rulebook for Steve’s failed flirting as you did for Robin: ice cream and a bitch sesh.

“Ice cream is always a must.”

You laughed, eyes focused on his smiling face.

Maybe if you were paying more attention, you would’ve seen the little boy running to the diving boards. You may have moved in time to avoid him bumping into you and sending you straight into the deep end.

—

Billy spotted you the moment you walked toward Robin with your gaggle of children. Max had told him she’d be here with the rest of your group. So, when the first to arrive were Steve, Robin, and Dustin, he deflated a little.

Ten minutes later, he straightened and ran a hand through his hair. He hadn’t felt like this since he was a little kid. You made his stomach twist in the best possible way and your smile? He’d do anything to see it.

Every so often, he’d glance back your way. You and Robin laughed at something and his lips ticked up ever so slightly.

He always kept an eye on you. He didn’t want to miss the way your shoulders shook as you laughed. Or the smile you gave El when she wanted you to watch her hold her breath. Or the view he’d get when you bent over facing toward or away from him—he didn’t know which he preferred.

He also knew you couldn’t swim. And every time you showed up, he watched you—made sure you stayed away from the edge. Part of him wished you wouldn’t come to the pool, but the selfish side loved when you did.

It was easier when he was off duty. He didn’t have to pay attention to everyone else. He’d sit at the foot of your lounger and talk to you while the others swam. You’d poke him with your toes if he flustered you too much, and he’d grab your feet and move closer to put them on his lap. He’d graze a finger up the bottom of one, and when you went to pull away, he’d grip your ankle and laugh, promising not to do it again.

You’d ask him to reapply sunscreen to your back. And each time he’d massage it into your shoulders, your neck—his thumbs pushing the tension away—down until he reached your swimsuit, and then move onto your arms. You’d always tell him you could do that part, and he’d grunt at you, wanting to touch you a little longer.

Then, when he finished, you’d offer the same, and he’d turn around, stifling a moan when your hands rubbed his shoulders and down his spine. He’d tease you, ask if you could do his chest, to which you rolled your eyes, but did it anyway because you told him once you didn’t think he applied enough to begin with. You never said it was because you liked touching him, too.

He continued scanning the rest of the pool. It wouldn’t be long before his shift ended, and he could finally join you.

Everything was relatively calm—kids playing, parents sitting with one another, high schoolers gossiping as they floated. Everything was normal.

“(Y/N)!”

His head shot to the panicked voice, dread clawing his gut.

Dustin’s arms waved frantically at Billy.

Where were you?

And he dove in.

You were sinking, bubbles no longer escaping your mouth. And the feeling in his gut worsened as your eyes slowly closed.

He’d taken his eyes away from you for a second.

That was all it took.

Just one second.

He wrapped an arm around your waist, using the other to propel himself upward.

Dustin was still panicking and had gathered the attention of his friends, who had rushed forward when Billy emerged.

Billy vaguely noticed Steve above him.

“Help me get her out,” Billy called. “Lay her down.”

Steve hauled you by your arms, using the towel around his neck as a pillow. Billy was beside you in a moment doing compressions.

“C’mon,” he muttered before pinching your nose and pushing air into your lungs. “C’mon.”

Each press into your chest made his hurt.

He couldn’t lose you. He just couldn’t. Not like this, not when you survived so much. Not when you’d become so important to him. Not before he could tell you.

You coughed, water spurting from your throat as you instinctively turned to get it out.

Relief washed over him.

“It’s okay, baby. Just breathe,” he whispered, rubbing your back. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Your coughing slowly subsided, but your breath shook, and the urge to cry crept up your nose. You’d been so close. You felt the water burning your lungs as you sunk further and further.

Billy’s body heat comforted you as you shivered. You rested your head in the crook of his neck. The warmth of his skin made you shudder at the contrast. All the energy had been drained from you. You were just so cold, so fucking scared.

“I’ve got you, honey,” he repeated, placing a towel around your shoulders. “Let’s go to a chair, okay?”

He was so gentle with you, only his tone registering, but whatever he was saying, you’d agree with.

He hooked an arm under your knees and his other around your back and walked you to one of the Adirondack chairs.

Kneeling in front of you, he covered your hands with his.

“(Y/N).”

You stared at your joined hands, wanting to burrow into him to have some semblance of warmth.

“Sweetheart, I need you to look at me,” he said.

You did.

“You’re safe now.” He used one hand to graze the side of your thigh. “How ‘bout I take you home?”

You slowly nodded. This was the last place you wanted to be. Your nerves felt so exposed here.

“Okay.” He smiled gently, brushing your forehead with his lips as he rose to his feet.

“Here,” Robin said, setting your tote beside you. She placed a hand on your shoulder, and you touched it in thanks.

Billy pulled your coverup out of it and slipped it over your head.

“C’mon,” he shouldered your bag, “let’s go home.”

His arm went around your waist as he led you through the locker room to get his belongings.

When you got to his car, he placed you in the passenger seat and hooked you.

The way to your home was silent. And that was okay. You were still trying to settle yourself, and just being out of there helped.

Billy had put a hand on your thigh, needing to remind himself that you were next to him—that you were still breathing.

It comforted you—he did that in general. Maybe in a different situation, it would fill your stomach with butterflies. But right now, it was the contact you needed.

He was right here. And so were you.

You were grateful your parents were out when you arrived. You didn’t think you could handle any questions.

Billy’s hand was at the small of your back as you walked inside and went to your room to change. And he went to the kitchen to get you some water.

You got out of that swimsuit as fast as you could. Once Billy left, all you wanted was for him to come back.

It was like your chest didn’t hurt as much when he was in your line of sight.

He’d changed out of his suit and was waiting on the couch, patting the back of it when he saw you.

“Feel any better?” he asked.

You nodded slowly. “A bit.”

“What about inside? Anything hurt?” He leaned toward you, scanning your figure like he could pinpoint those spots.

“I’m fine, Billy,” you said. “Really. Maybe a little shaky, but that’s it. You don’t…” You didn’t want him to go, but you didn’t want to force him to stay. “You can go back if you want to. I know you wanted to hang out with everyone.” You didn’t want to feel like a burden. Billy deserved more than being tied down here with you.

He didn’t speak.

He wanted to hang out with you. He may have befriended everyone else, but you were the one he wanted to be around.

You had stopped shaking and coughing. Your breathing seemed normal, and the fear in your eyes was gone. You looked more exhausted than anything.

But still, he kept flashing back to you sinking.

He could’ve lost you. If Dustin hadn’t yelled, you might not be here. And he feared if he left you now, it’d somehow all be a dream. You wouldn't be sitting next to him. You’d be at the bottom of the pool, and he’d have to live with the guilt of not being able to save you.

But you were here. And you were okay. And he had to keep reminding himself of that.

“Let me stay,” he breathed, eyes pleading.

Yours softened, and you nodded.

He gave you a grateful smile. “Good. How about a movie? You can pick anyone you want, sweetheart.”

The pet name sent shivers up your spine, and he noticed. A concerned look covered his features.

“Are you okay? Are you still cold?” he asked, scooting closer.

You shook your head. You were definitely far from cold.

“Does it hurt anywhere?”

“Billy, I’m fine,” you urged.

“You inhaled a lot of water—”

“I promise.” You put a hand over his. “I just…I like when you call me that.” You played with your fingers, avoiding his gaze.

His face pulled in confusion. When he called you what?

He tried to think of what you were talking about, and then it dawned on him. He hadn’t even noticed he’d been doing it.

A grin spread across his face.

“You like it when I call you ‘sweetheart’?” He moved, his knee touching yours.

You nodded slightly.

“What about ‘honey’?” His head tilted so he could try and meet your eyes.

Again, you nodded, but the smallest of smiles tugged at your lips.

“And ‘baby’?” He lifted your chin with a finger, and your breath hitched.

“Yes,” you whispered. “I like it.”

“How would you feel if I used them all the time?”

You bit the inside of your cheek, but the smile still spread. “I’d like it.”

“And what if I wanted to use them in front of our friends? Would you be okay with that?” he asked, leaning in.

“Only if you asked me out first,” you said.

He chuckled. “Could I still kiss you right now?”

“You better.”

His lips pressed against yours a second later. He tasted like mint and the barest traces of smoke and chlorine. He pulled you into his lap so you straddled him, and your hands cupped both sides of his neck. 

You loved how warm he was. Every time you saw him, you wanted to burrow beneath his clothing and find a home there. You didn’t know if it was his Cali sun-kissed skin, or maybe the fire from his cigarettes, or a combination of both, but it was entirely Billy.

His hand trailed up your back to your neck, his other gripping your thigh, trying to plant you there. And part of you wished he’d squeeze harder so the bruises would remind you of this moment.

But you had to pull away.

You panted into each other's mouths, foreheads pressed together. And his hands slid to your waist and wrapped around you, hugging you to him.

“There’s somethin’ I have to tell you,” he whispered, lips brushing your cheek.

“You can tell me anything,” you said, thumb rubbing his jaw.

“I love you.”

You pulled back to look at him better. “What?”

“I,” he cleared his throat, “I love you.”

You caught the panic in his eyes, but before he could move, you put your hands atop his.

“I love you,” you breathed, smiling.

He laughed, cupping your cheeks to kiss you—soft and sweet, and it felt like love.

“Does this mean I can call you ‘baby’?” you asked, a teasing lit to your voice.

He grinned, pulling you closer by your hips. “You better.”

He kissed you again, and you had the passing thought that you could do this all the time.

—

The next time you went to the pool, Billy had a lounger and umbrella for you right behind the lifeguard chair.

He greeted you with a kiss, his hand slipping down to squeeze your ass. But you caught it. As much as you liked how physical he was, you weren’t about to let the other pool goers see.

“You shouldn’t have anything to worry about, honey. Just sit back and relax,” he said.

“Why’s that?” you asked, pushing one of his curls behind his shoulder.

“‘Cause I banned that little shit.” He shrugged.

“I’m pretty sure you can’t actually do that,” you said, laughing lightly.

“But he doesn’t.” He kissed you again. “I’ve got you, sweetheart. Now, enjoy the show.” He winked, then reclaimed his place on his chair.

You shook your head slightly but did as he said. And at one point, when you called out a ‘baby’ to get his attention, you knew the flush on his cheeks wasn’t from the sun.

[pink-imagines]

strawberry fields

request: hii! can i request for todoroki shouto with hand-holding (2) hug (13) kisses (14) touching (2/3 up to you!!) AND I LOVE YOUR WORKS SO MUCH muahhhh ilysm❤️💜❤️‍🔥🧡💛❤️‍🩹❤️💕🖤💚🖤💕🤎

a/n: this is a short one, but i think it turned out pretty cute :))

warnings: none

mha masterlist

hq masterlist

requesting rules

prompts:

hand holding 2. calloused hands in soft hands hug 13. hugging from behind kisses 14. kisses on head touching 3. hiding face in neck

Strawberry picking, an activity you had been wanting to do for ages now. But both you and Shoto, your boyfriend, have a rough schedule because of work. However, by some miracle you managed to get a day off at the same time. The sun was out and shining brightly, but there was still a slight breeze that would keep you cool through out the day. Shoto wasn't completely on board with the idea, but he did still follow along per your request. You hadn't gone on a date for a while now, and you thought it'd be a great way to get even closer.

The strawberry fields were almost empty of people, since it was a weekday, but full of strawberries. You had brought along a basket that you could put the red berries in, which you kept hanging on your arm. "I'll make us strawberry milk when we get home again.", you suggested as you approached the bushes. "Sure, if you want to.", Shoto seemed rather unenthusiastic about the whole ordeal. When peaking over at him you saw he wore a neutral expression as usual, but there was some sort of worry deep in his eyes. You decided that you were going to grab his hand and give it a comforting squeeze. As soon as you did he quickly pulled his hand away... was he mad at you for bringing him here?

Time passed and your basket was almost filled. Shoto was crouched down next to you and handed you a strawberry to put in the basket. "Thank you.", you took the berry out of his hand, you ringer gracing against his palm. They were rough, more than usual. You knew that he hadn't been able to take self care days but you didn't know that he was embarrassed by it. When your hands touched he winced slightly before pulling his hand away. "Sorry, my hands are kind of coarse.", he muttered. You took his hand again and intertwined your fingers with his. Shoto's hand was calloused compared to yours. "It's okay, I don't mind.", you smiled, "It just means that you're working hard, baby." He looked at you in awe. After giving his hand a slight squeeze he realized that he was staring and quickly looked away. "I think we have enough strawberries, don't you?", you stood up, still holding his hand. Shoto hummed in response and followed closely as you led him out of the strawberry fields. His grip around your hand tightened just a bit and he held out his other hand to you, offering to hold the basket.

Once you got home you started cleaning the strawberries througholy. In your mind wandered thoughts of what you could make with them. Strawberry milk, smoothies, cake, parfait - even just eating them as they are would be nice. Shoto came up from behind you as your were standing by the sink, in your own little world of strawberry desserts. He ran the back of his hand down your neck, letting his hands wander to your shoulders. "You got a sunburn, dear.", he whispered. "Oh no, really?", you sighed, "I put on sunscreen and everything..." "I could put some aloe there later.", he suggested. "Then I can put some moistureizer on your hands, hm?", you added, "In case you want it of course, I don't mind either way." His hands fell down to your waist before he wrapped his arms around you. "That'd be nice.", he nodded. The two of you stood there, Shoto with his arms secure around you while you were washing the strawberries. He placed a kiss on the top of your head before nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck, only to press a soft kiss there too. "What are you making with them?", he mumbled against your skin. "I've been thinking of a lot of different things... though my favorite will probably always be just strawberry with vanilla ice cream.", you put yet another strawberry in the washed pile, "What do you want?" "Hm...", he thought carefully, "Well, you said strawberry milk before..."

A few hours later you were sat on the couch. On the coffee table stood one bowl of vanilla ice cream with cut strawberries and one glass of strawberry milk. "The strawberry milk kind of matches you, you know?", you laughed as you massaged hand cream into Shoto's palms. "What do you mean?" "It's pink!", you dried off your hands to pick up the glass and held it up by his face, "Like if you'd mix the colors of your hair." You held up the glass to his lips and he took a sip out of the straw there. Then you put the glass back on the table and went back to taking care of his hands. "... that's stupid...", he muttered, blush evident on his cheeks. "No, it's cute.", you giggled, "I'm gonna put Strawberry Milk as your new name in my phone." He huffed and stared at you, but you only laughed in response.

-

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[theorganasolo]

The beach trip is so cute!

But also connie’s confession to Cielito makes me sad - Steve needs to step it up!

“The thought of Javier walking around Disney World wearing a pair of Mickey ears and carrying around your child made you smile big enough to make your cheeks hurt.” - ok but we need this one shot

“"I am yours, and no one before you matters.” He kissed her hair. “I know it's shitty, but if they weren't an informant and I only slept with them once, I probably don't even remember their name. Now you—" He poured more sunscreen onto his hands and reached around to rub her thighs. “—I couldn't stop thinking about you after the first night, and there was no way in hell I was forgetting your name, that cute yellow sundress you wore or those beautiful eyes that saw me for me and not the town fuck up, a joke of a hero, or a quick fuck.” His hands paused. “I mean, I could tell you found me attractive, and I thought you were going to start drooling when you first spotted me at the bar, but you were never interested in me for just my looks, and I liked that.”” - ugh SWOON

Also javi with a secret lactation kink I CAN SEE IT

“His lips were close to your ear, softly rasping, "I was thinking about what our Christmas could look like next year. We could be in our new house. It could be our first Christmas with a baby, or you'd be pregnant at least. But what I know for sure is we'll be together, we'll be married, and we'll be so fucking happy.”” - and I LOVE that for him

“"Loving me and giving me a family, at least one that cares about me." You could see how sad it made him to hear that. "And," you continued, "wanting to have tiny Peñas with me, so I'll have even more family to love and love me.” You took in a breath. “This is the first time I'm saying this out loud, but I've felt so fucking alone for I don't even know how long. I tried to drown it out by working—which didn't work. And it led to me moving to Laredo where I’d have a better work/life balance, and by fucking serendipity, I met you my second week there." Tears started falling down your cheeks. "I met my soulmate in the produce section of an H-E-B and absolutely cannot look at tomatoes anymore without remembering how small they look in your enormous mitts.”” - WHY AM I CRYING

I LIVE fOR FUCKING IN A BAR BATHROOM IN FICS

“Oh, nutting put him in his feelings.” - LOL BYEEE

AH LOVED THE ENDING

thank you for writing and sharing with us!

Learning to Live Part 28

summary: It’s a beautiful day in Miami, and you’re spending it with Javier and the Murphys at the beach, where you discover there’s a limit to Steve’s annoying behavior your fiancé can handle before he loses his cool. That evening, you, Javier, Steve, and Connie go out for drinks and find out you really will fight anyone who disrespects your future husband, leading to him having to calm you down. 

With his dick.

In the bar bathroom. 

rating: E (18+!! No y/n, alternating POV, age gap (about ten years), explicit smut, semi-public sex, unprotected p in v (wrap it up!), creampie, kinda rough sex (he’s gotta fuck the anger out of you), dirty talk, breeding kink, spanking, spit as lube, Javier being bossy, mention of lactation/pregnancy kink, mention of panty sniffing, slice of life beach day, Javier being cute with the kids, physical altercation (Javi and Steve get into a tussle), decorating for Christmas, insecurities, feelings, yelling, insults, Angry Javier Peña, Angry Reader, almost bar fight (you get angry enough to throw hands), Javier having to physically remove you from the situation, Javier saying romantic things in Spanish)

pairing: Javier Peña/f!reader

word count: 21.5k+

a/n: I’m sorry about how long this took! The holidays threw off my groove, along with all the shit I’m dealing with in real life. As always, thank you to @juletheghoul for ensuring my Spanish made sense. And thank you to @senorabond for betaing!

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!

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The sun was high in the clear, blue sky, its rays beaming down and heating the salty ocean air, while you stood on the shore, your feet atop the sturdy wet sand; you were wholly mesmerized as you stared down, watching the water as it lapped against your ankles before it was pulled back out to the Atlantic like a yo-yo on a string. 

There was a beach you'd go to growing up where even on the hottest day of the year, the ocean was too cold to swim in—you'd lie in the sun, play in the sand, fly kites, build bonfires, collect sand dollars and seashells, and when you got too warm, you'd cool off by dipping your toes in the chilled water that washed ashore. 

It was December, the month before the coldest of the year here in Miami, and you were in your bathing suit, basking in the sun's hot rays and the salt water soaking your feet that was at a temperature more than comfortable enough to swim in. 

The waves crashing was the loudest sound, followed by children's laughter and birds screeching in the distance, but splashing is what caught your attention, lifting your head and your hand shielding your eyes from the brightness as you took in what was before you. Out in the waist-deep water, a handsome man's head popped up above the surface as he threw it back, seeing his profile while he rose to stand, sliding his hands into his hair, the sun hitting the drops rolling down his bare upper body to make him glitter in the light. 

There was the beautiful curve of his nose and plush lips, the softness of his belly, and the prominent muscle tone in his arms, watching as he wiped his face with one large palm. 

He was gorgeous and had your heart picking up in speed and butterflies fluttering around in your stomach; then he was facing you, his chocolate-colored eyes meeting yours, flashing you a panty-dropping smile that had you forgetting how to breathe as he started walking—no, strutting—your way, with the confidence of James Bond on a mission.

There was a chance Javier Peña was going to be the death of you by simply being too damn pretty. 

More of his body was revealed as the ocean got shallower, allowing you to see the salmon-colored short swim trunks he wore that didn't even make it halfway down his thighs. The moment he was within reach of you, his long arms were wrapping around to pull you flush against his wet body, not even caring because his lips sought out yours, tasting of salt and coffee. 

The kissing stopped, and his nose nudged yours. 

"Come swim with me," he said in a low rasp. 

"Okay," you whispered and understood why sailors were so afraid of sirens; Javi could ask you to do anything at this moment with his smoky-sweet words, and you would—like joining him in the ocean when you planned on sunbathing. 

He took your hand and led you into the warm water, and once it was to your chest, he turned your way, looping your arms around his neck and grabbing onto the globes of your ass to lift you, your legs immediately going around his waist like he wanted. 

"This isn't swimming," you said, smiling. 

"It's better than swimming," he replied, nuzzling his face into your neck and kissing up the column of your throat to your jaw. 

Tiny waves were hitting against his back, the bigger ones a distance away. 

"And you better keep things PG—there are children on the shore who can see us." 

The three kids in question belonged to Steve and Connie Murphy. 

You were at the same little stretch of beach Javi had taken you to earlier that morning to propose, and you were both caught in a compromising situation by a lifeguard. It was away from the busier, touristy areas, so you and his friend's family were the only people there.  

His head came up while his hands tightened on your backside, the front of his swim shorts grinding into you. 

"They can't see shit under the water," he said, looking you in the eyes. "We're too far away." 

“I guess we are.” Your lips met his, kissing him hard and welcoming his tongue that licked into your mouth. 

Both of you were still riding the high of being newly engaged, even with your beautiful ring staying behind at Steve and Connie’s to keep it safe. And that wasn’t the only exciting thing to happen that day—you’d finally given the go-ahead to start trying for a baby, and your fiancé was beyond ecstatic and utterly insatiable, which you were loving and not even a little surprised he was getting handsy. 

As if on cue, there was a loud shout of "Tío (Uncle)!" followed by splashing. Turning your head, you saw the Murphys’ nine-year-old, Olivia, paddling toward you on a bright yellow boogie board. Her parents were at the shore with her two toddler brothers, the tiny Murphys looking adorable in their swim trunks, shirts, and little floppy hats as they played in the water. 

You untangled yourself from Javi, your feet sinking into the sand under you. He smiled, looking past you at the child heading your way in her black wet suit.

"Tesorito (Little treasure)!" he called. "¿Vas a ir a las olas (Are you going to the waves)?"

"Si (Yes)! Dame un empujon (Give me a push)." 

The small waves were crashing not too far from you, and as soon as she was close, Javi was giving her a shove toward her destination. He stood beside you with his arm over your shoulders, both watching the young girl as she easily caught a wave with her belly on the board, riding it all the way ashore. 

"She's pretty good at that," you commented. 

"You wanna try it out?" he asked, kissing your hair. 

Olivia was running down the beach, heading to where the rest of her family was to get back into the ocean. 

"I'm good. I just wanna enjoy the water." You moved to have your body floating on the water’s surface, closing your eyes. 

"I'm gonna do some laps." 

"How do you have the energy to do laps?"

"Could be how great my day's been." He kissed your cheek, and it made you smile. "We're engaged, getting married soon, and hopefully starting our family. Plus, I got a couple of hours alone with you to fool around. It's been a great fucking day." 

"My money's on that large black coffee you chugged when we stopped at McDonald's to get Olivia and Stevie apology Happy Meals for getting back to the house so late." 

He sighed, and you just knew he was pouting. "Maybe it's the coffee, but I like my reasons more..." 

"I like your reasons more, too. Go swim your laps. I'll stay right here." The little swells had your body rocking softly. 

He kissed your cheek again. "Okay."

Splashing sounded, telling you he’d started swimming; you also heard Olivia kicking her feet nearby to paddle back out to the waves. 

"You're really good at shredding those waves, kiddo,” you said.

"Thanks!" she replied. "It's fun!"

"It looks fun." 

She was close to you now. 

"You wanna try it?" 

Your feet touched the sand as you stood up to look at her with a smile. 

"I'd rather watch you."

"Okay!"

She continued her journey toward the crashing waves, seeing her feet behind her disturbing the water as she kicked them for momentum. Your hand was shielding your eyes again, finding it interesting how the girl took a minute to decide on the wave she wanted before paddling hard to catch it. 

It seemed quieter, and you realized you could no longer hear Javi swimming, turning your head from side to side and not spotting him, looking over your shoulder to see if he'd gone to shore and not finding him there either. 

You'd be lying if you said you weren't worried, but right away, your mind was thinking the worst, like he got swept out to sea or something got him... That had you starting to freak out, the Jaws theme playing in your head not helping.  

Something under the water grabbed onto your hips from behind, and you screamed, the following bite to your ass causing you to scream louder—your heart was pounding in your chest, adrenaline making you turn in place and push the man away by his broad shoulders. 

Javi chose to stand then, rivulets of water dripping down his face and off his arms as he laughed; his grinning smile was so big it made his dimple appear, his eyes crinkling at the edges in pure glee, his hand flat against his chest. 

His merriment had you scowling. 

"It's not funny!" you exclaimed, lightly shoving his shoulder. "You scared the shit out of me!" 

He wiped the wetness from his face as he calmed down. 

"I'm sorry, Cielito." He was still smiling, his hands gripping your waist to step into your space so your bodies touched. "I didn't mean to scare the shit out of you." His head dipped to kiss over your thudding pulse point, shivering when his lips trailed up to your ear, feeling his hot breath tickling your skin as he spoke softly. "How can I make it up to you?" 

"Are you seriously seducing me to get out of me being mad at you?" 

"Is it working?" He nipped at your earlobe. 

“Of course, it’s working, and you’re rude for exploiting my weaknesses." 

He huffed in amusement and straightened to meet your gaze, his large hands coming up to cup your face. 

"I'm sorry for scaring you, mi amor (my love)." His thumbs stroked over your cheeks. "I was just having fun." 

You smiled, touching his hands. “You’ve got my fucking number and know all the ways to get me to stop being mad at you—I’m fucked. Apology accepted ‘cause you’re so damn cute.”

He leaned in to kiss you sweetly. 

Within a minute, he had your legs wrapped around his hips again while you made out in the warm water. At some point, you found yourself clinging to him from behind as he swam you around and watched Olivia bodyboard. 

When you finally went to lie in the sun on the beach, Javi stayed behind to play with Steve, Olivia, and Stevie. 

Connie was sitting in a chair under a large umbrella with their one-year-old, Nate. There were two more seats on either side of her, along with towels on the sand, a gray cooler, and a wagon they used to haul it and the rest of their stuff. You got into a tote bag that had yours and Javi's things to grab your sunglasses and sat down next to the other woman in a chair outside of the umbrella's shadow for the sunlight to dry you off. 

"I've never seen him this happy," Connie said. Nate was in her arms, drinking a bottle filled with water. 

"Seen who happy?" you asked, looking at her through your dark lenses. 

Connie's sunglasses were resting atop her head, and she was smiling at you. "Javi," she answered. "I've known him for a long time, and he's never been this happy.” Her face shifted to something thoughtful. “Even when he came to stay with us here, he'd try to hide it, but you could see the sadness in his eyes. This time, though?” She smiled once more. “All I see is happiness and excitement when I look at him." She reached over to put a hand on your arm. "Thank you for making our friend happy and helping me get that guest bedroom remodel." 

When Steve found out Javi and you had fucked in their guest bedroom, he freaked out and decided that room and the bathroom attached to it needed to be completely redone, including new furniture and bedding, after you left. This was a project Connie had wanted done for quite some time, but her husband always said they couldn’t afford it. 

Her gratitude for the remodel made you laugh, and you patted her hand on your arm. "You're welcome," you told her. "If there's anything else you want done around the house, Javi and I are more than happy to offer our services." 

"I'm sure you are," she teased. A wistful sigh came from her. "I remember what it was like when Steve and I first got together—we couldn't keep our hands off each other. We were like that up until we moved to Colombia, and he got real busy with work. Then we had Olivia, and I know you guys are excited about having your own babies, but sweetie, between working full time, taking care of my kids, and keeping the house from being a complete disaster, there's hardly any time for us to be alone. We are so busy, I haven't even had a chance to decorate for Christmas, let alone think about getting properly laid."

A big frown was on your face, feeling bad for Connie and worrying your relationship might meet the same fate. 

You took her hand in both of yours. "Here's the plan," you said. "When we get back to the house, we're decorating." She started to say something, but you cut her off. "—we'd love to help, Connie, and with two extra adults, there are enough people to wrangle the children while we get it done. Then, it might be last minute, but we'll need to find a babysitter that I will pay whatever amount they ask, so the four of us can go out to a bar, have some drinks, and hopefully get you properly laid."

There was a little smile on her lips. "That's sweet of you, but I can't ask you to do any of that."

"And you're not asking me; I'm insisting, and Javi will insist, too. We're gonna help you out. It's the least we can do." 

She seemed to be weighing it in her mind. "You're sure?" she asked. 

"Oh, yeah," you answered immediately. "Us women gotta stick together, and it's my duty as your friend to help you get dicked down."

She snorted. "I think we're gonna be best friends." 

You smiled. "I'd like that." 

"I'd like that, too." 

After the conversation ended, you returned to relaxing in the sun. There was a thin layer of sunscreen on your skin, Javi was more than happy to help you put on when you first got there, having done the same for him.

Out in the sparkling ocean, Steve was playing with his son, and Javi was crouched down under the water with Olivia standing on his shoulders and abruptly rose to launch the girl into the air, hearing her laughing and the loud splash when she cannon-balled into the saltwater. 

In your mind, you imagined Javi with little kids who looked so much like him that he'd splash and play in the water with, making your heart squeeze. 

It wasn't much longer when the four of them returned to where you were sitting, each getting water bottles from the cooler, Stevie a sippy cup. Your fiancé kissed your head, then plopped down on a towel beside you, chugging his drink and lying back, his hand reaching up to hold your thigh. 

Looking over, he had his other arm over his eyes. 

"Having fun, babe?" you asked. 

"Yeah." 

"Do you want your sunglasses?"

"I don't wanna move." 

"I can go grab them." 

"I don't want you to move." 

You smiled, lacing your fingers with his on your leg. 

"I'll stay right here." 

Steve was in a chair beside his wife with Stevie perched on his leg; Olivia was sitting on a towel in front of them, the children snacking on sliced watermelon.

"You two want any snacks?" Connie asked you.

"I could go for some watermelon. Javi?" 

"Sounds good," he said, groaning as he moved to sit up, and you took the two pieces offered to you, passing one to him. 

It was chilled, seedless, and juicy; Javi’s hair was sticking wetly to his forehead, seeing the cute little pudge of his belly, and his hand still in yours while the other held the slice as he ate it, pink juice dripping from his plush lips down his chin.

Truly, it was ridiculous that the most mundane things he did managed to turn you on. 

He finished eating, and you let go of his palm to take his chin between your fingers, turning his head your way—his big eyes were curious, and you were unsure of what possessed you to lean down and lick the watermelon’s juices from his skin and lips that turned up into a smile. 

He caught your mouth with his, dropping the fruit’s rind to cup the back of your head and pull you closer to deepen the kiss.  

“Oh, come on!” Steve shouted. “There are children here.” 

You broke apart, Javi’s forehead resting against yours as he sighed. 

“I'm gonna kick his ass," he hissed, "if he keeps interrupting us."

"You're not gonna kick his ass," you whispered back. 

He sighed again in defeat. 

"Fine." He pulled back. "All we were doing was kissing," he said loud enough for Steve to hear. 

"Yeah, inappropriate kissing," Steve replied. "If they wouldn't see it in a Disney movie, it's inappropriate." 

"Jesus Christ," Javi breathed. "That won't be a rule in our house—I'll kiss you however I want." 

You stroked his smooth cheek. "Yes, you will," you said, kissing the tip of his nose. 

You went back to eating your watermelon, and the man you were going to marry got up from his towel to throw away what was left of his fruit and get his aviators. 

It was cute watching Stevie hold up his little arms toward Javi and excitedly repeating, "Tio!" until your fiancé picked him up, taking him quickly into his arms. 

"You wanna go play in the sand, bud?" he asked the toddler. 

"Yes!" 

"I want to play in the sand, too!" Olivia said. 

"Okay, Tesorito (little treasure)," he replied, facing her. "Can you grab the bag with sand castle stuff, please?" 

"Yeah," she answered, jumping up and moving to grab a tote bag with what looked to have a plastic bucket, tiny shovel, and sand castle molds. 

You watched them head closer to the water, staying a little away from the tide, moving up the sand, Javi sitting down and getting into the bag. You couldn't hear what he was saying, but it looked like he asked Olivia to fill the bucket with water since she grabbed it and took off in a sprint to the ocean, Stevie taking the little red shovel to start digging. 

Connie had passed Nate to Steve while she drank a can of soda. 

"It's crazy to me that man never thought he deserved to be a father," you mused. 

"Javi's his own worst enemy," Steve said. "For as long as I've known him, he's let his past mistakes eat away at him and has had the biggest chip on his shoulder. It's good he's finally seeing he deserves to be happy." 

"It wasn't easy convincing him of that…" 

Steve covered Nate's ears as he smiled at you. "I can imagine—Javi's a real stubborn asshole. He gets something in his head, and good luck convincing him otherwise." 

"He's a cute stubborn asshole, though, and I love him a lot." 

"We know," Connie said, patting your arm and smiling. "It's obvious how much you both love each other, and we're happy he has you—Steve was right yesterday when he said our kids need more cousins, and just imagine the fun we'd have. We could take trips to Disney and other places." 

The thought of Javier walking around Disney World wearing a pair of Mickey ears and carrying around your child made you smile big enough to make your cheeks hurt. 

"Okay," you started. "In the future, what are the odds I can convince Javi to wear a Disney-themed button-up and Mickey ears?" 

Steve had moved his hands away from Nate's head. 

"Oh," he said. "If you're the one asking? He'll do it. He'll pretend like he hates it, but I think he'd love it." 

"I think you're right, Steve," you replied. 

There was something soothing about the beach—maybe it was the warmth or the rhythmic drone of the swells crashing toward shore. All you knew was it had a relaxing effect on you and calmed your busy mind. Not to mention how beautiful it was to see the ocean stretching out to the horizon; the sheer magnitude of it was breathtaking. 

Since you were probably Stevie's age, maybe even younger, you loved going to the coast. It explained your love for aquariums, your fascination with sea life, and why The Little Mermaid was your favorite Disney movie—you loved the ocean. If your parents hadn't put it in your head early on that you were destined to be a doctor, and you didn’t end up falling in love with nursing, odds are you probably would've become a marine biologist.

Javier was with the two older Murphy children building an impressive sandcastle and doing his best to keep the three-year-old from wrecking the entire thing—which was like trying to wrangle a drunk person who’s lost their motor skills and wanted to touch everything.

You'd gotten up from your chair to join them, and your betrothed greeted you with a beaming smile and a pat to the spot beside him that you sat down in. From talking to Javi and Olivia, she was the mastermind with a vision for how she wanted it to look, and he was walking her through what she needed to do to bring it to life while also making sure Stevie felt involved but not letting the toddler roam free—a true testament to Javi, in regards to children, having the patience of a saint. 

The sandcastle had fortress walls connected by four towers, and in the center of them, it rose up to look like a castle, topped with three pointed spires, the center one the tallest. Olivia added details of windows and doors with a twig to really make it pop. Honestly, it was impressive.

"Are you going to put in a moat?" you asked. 

The girl had a serious look on her face. "That's a good idea," she answered, quickly getting up to her feet and grabbing the nearby bucket. "You guys start digging. I'm going to go get water!" 

"Aye, aye, Captain," you replied, using your hand to start scooping out sand from around the perimeter. 

"Use your shovel, buddy," Javi said gently to the three-year-old, helping him dig with his tiny red plastic shovel.

"We're helping Sissy!" Stevie excitedly exclaimed. 

Your fiancé was smiling softly. "Yeah, we are. You're doing a really good job." 

"I'm thirsty," the little one said. "Can I have juice, pleeeaaassseee?"  

"Let's go ask your mom." Javi looked over at you, and you nodded at him with a smile, saying that you were okay to stay behind and help Olivia. He got up, and Stevie had to raise his hand high for Javi to hold it as they walked to his parents. 

Olivia arrived with a bucket of water, and most of the moat had been dug out, the two of you finishing it fast. She dumped the water into it to harden the sand, then went and got another pale and another to fill it. 

"It's very impressive," you told her as she stood beside you, both admiring it. 

"Thank you!” Her head turned to meet your eyes. “Now I'm hungry." 

“Hi hungry, I’m Cielito.” 

“Ugh.” She made a face. “That’s something my dad would say, and Cielito isn’t your real name.” 

You smiled. “Well, your tío seems to think it is. He never calls me by my real name.” Which was kind of true. The only time your actual name passed through his lips was when he was moaning it, and that was for you to know and no one else.

She was clearly wracking her brain to see if you were telling the truth. “Tío does only call you Cielito or his amor (love),” she finally said. “Yuck.” She had a disgusted expression.

You giggled. “I told you. Now, let’s get you a snack. You spent all that time building this masterpiece; you deserve one.” 

Javier was sitting on a towel in the sun with his long legs out in front of him, having just finished a meat and cheese sandwich on white bread Connie had given him and everyone else from the cooler. Uncapping his cold plastic water bottle, he brought it to his mouth, relishing the cool liquid traveling down his throat as he chugged. 

This wasn’t the first time he’d visited the beach with his Cielito. 

Back in August, Javier had surprised her with a weekend away to Corpus Christi as his way of showing his appreciation for all she’d done when he started his job at the Sheriff’s office—and he needed to do something special for her after she finally let him fuck her ass. 

He’d gotten them a nice room at a beachfront hotel with a private balcony—the first night, while the moon was glowing over the ocean, they’d been a bit tipsy after dinner, and he fucked her against the railing. And, he had to say, it was pretty romantic. 

They spent the majority of that Saturday at a beach he used to go to as a teenager that wasn’t overrun with tourists and partying college kids. It was a place where he was comfortable messing around with her in the water and out of sight of the other beachgoers and had no qualms feeling each other up when they laid under the sun together. 

He knew how much she loved sushi and took her to an expensive restaurant that served it for dinner that night. 

On their last day, they explored the city before heading home. 

It was a great weekend.

She loved it. 

A lot. 

So much so she let him fuck her ass the following weekend.

This trip was different. 

They were here with his best friend's family and had to keep things tame—he couldn't freely touch her no matter how much his fingers itched to feel the swell of her ass in that swimsuit; the way he wanted to kiss her was off-limits, too, according to Steve, and it was driving him crazy that he couldn’t wrap himself around her and get as close to her as possible with his tongue in her mouth. 

He knew Steve was a bit of a prude and judgmental about his sex life, but his friend was being a goddamn Puritan with a righteous stick up his ass. It had Javier beginning to think his holier-than-thou attitude had little to do with morals and was actually just 100% pure, unadulterated jealousy—his conclusion: Steve needed to get laid. And even though his best friend was being a grade-A dick with his rules and trying to sabotage Javier from getting to fuck, he wanted his friend to get some and was going to talk to his fiancée about them babysitting the kids so Steve and Connie could have a date night. 

Basically, Steve needed to chill the fuck out, and Javier was going to figure out how to make that happen because, on a day like today, Cielito would fondly call him clingy with how he needed to be near her and constantly touching some part of her body—like the back of his freehand currently pressed against the side of her thigh. Feeling her skin on his soothed something deep inside him and made him feel less restless—it grounded him. It calmed him. It was better for his nerves than a glass of top-shelf whiskey. They'd make millions if they could manufacture the way he felt just from simply touching and being close to her. 

And because he had to watch himself with everyone around, he was keeping some, not a lot, but some distance with her so he didn't fuck up. 

It felt like when he'd tried quitting smoking cold turkey and the overwhelming craving for nicotine; how he needed it more than anything, and was the only thing he could think about, consuming his every thought. She was right there, sitting criss-cross on the towel next to him, eating her sandwich; the woman he loved, the woman he was going to marry, have children with, and spend the rest of his life with. So close, so beautiful, with so much skin on display, and he wasn’t allowed to rub his hands all over her body. 

This was torture. 

He’d finished drinking, and his frustration had his jaw clenching and his fist crushing the empty plastic water bottle.

What Connie was doing caught his attention as she put more sunscreen on Olivia, who was standing before her. 

"Can I borrow that when you're done, Con?" he found himself asking all of a sudden, dropping the mangled plastic next to him in the sand. 

She held the lotion in one hand, rubbing it in on her daughter’s face with the other. 

"Sure thing," she replied, closing the lid and tossing it his way, which he caught easily. 

"Thanks." 

He moved onto his knees, ignoring the ache while shuffling onto the other towel beside his to get behind Cielito. He snapped open the cap, pouring a generous amount into his palm, shutting the lid and setting it down within reach, rubbing his hands together to spread the lotion on them. His eyes were on the back of her neck, and he was like a moth to a flame as his head dipped to kiss the side of it right behind her ear. 

She hummed in the back of her throat, her arm coming up to push her fingers into his hair since she'd finished eating. 

"Hey, handsome," she purred. "I was wondering when you'd find a way to get your hands on me without causing Steve to clutch his pearls." 

Her nails softly scraped against his scalp, and it made him shiver. 

"You've noticed how fucking ridiculous he is, too?" he whispered against the shell of her ear. 

"Babe, he went to absurdly great lengths to keep you from boning in the guest bed; he just about goes into hysterics if we do anything more than peck each other on the lips or if he sees your hands wander," she said, for only him to hear. "Yeah, I've noticed how ridiculous he's being, and I'd ask if this is normal behavior for him, but I know I'm the first girlfriend you've brought for a visit, and you probably don't know." 

"I knew he was vanilla, and he's been judgmental of my... history. He, uh, forbade me from bringing girls back to the house when I'd stay with them—I wouldn't do that in the first place, and this last time in Miami after quitting the DEA, I was giving celibacy a try." 

"Wait," she quietly asked, "was I...?" 

He smiled. "The gorgeous woman, who was too tempting, shattered my resolve and ended my, honestly, really fucking impressive amount of time as a celibate? Yeah, you are." 

They were having the conversation low enough that no one else could hear them.

"This is doing wonders for my self-esteem." 

He kissed her neck. "Good." The temptation was too much, and he slid his hands along her arms, rubbing the sunscreen into her skin, feeling the tension leave his body. 

"So, was Steve super annoying when you stayed here after getting fired and weren't celibate...?"

The only reason she was asking that was because she wanted to know what his sex life had been like, and that made him curious, seeing as she'd never paid his past dalliances much mind. 

"He wasn't any more annoying than usual. You know, I don't talk about that shit unless someone asks, or I'm being an asshole, and Steve never asked. But you don't care about how he was—ask me what you really want to know." 

He got more lotion on his hands and started working on her neck and shoulders. 

"I want to know, but I also don't want to know." 

His eyebrows pulled together, and his palms slowed. 

"Why wouldn't you wanna know?" 

"Because, um, it's dumb and makes zero sense, and I know it all happened a long time ago, and I swear I'm not possessive, but you're mine." 

Hearing her say it had sparks dancing down his spine. 

"I am yours, and no one before you matters.” He kissed her hair. “I know it's shitty, but if they weren't an informant and I only slept with them once, I probably don't even remember their name. Now you—" He poured more sunscreen onto his hands and reached around to rub her thighs. “—I couldn't stop thinking about you after the first night, and there was no way in hell I was forgetting your name, that cute yellow sundress you wore or those beautiful eyes that saw me for me and not the town fuck up, a joke of a hero, or a quick fuck.” His hands paused. “I mean, I could tell you found me attractive, and I thought you were going to start drooling when you first spotted me at the bar, but you were never interested in me for just my looks, and I liked that." 

Her tone was somber. “It always hurts my heart how lonely you were before we met.”

“And the fact you even give a shit is one of the reasons why I’m marrying you.”

“I love you.” Her head turned, and her upper body twisted so he could lean in at an awkward angle to kiss her lips.

"I love you, too,” he said into her mouth. They separated after a second, and he whispered in her ear, “No one compares to you in bed—you’re hands down the best lay I’ve ever had, and you’ve got me so fucking whipped with your perfect pussy, I’ll do anything for you—fucking anything.”

“Why is that so romantic? You know I’d do anything for you, too? You bring out my inner Gomez Addams—I’d fight for you, I’d die for you, I’d kill for you, and I’d choose you over anyone else in the entire world.”

Everything she said was true, and it had energy thrumming in his veins and happiness overtaking every cell in his body. 

“I know, mi amor (my love). It's the same for me. You're the most important person in my life." His hands were rubbing all over her thighs, and he nuzzled into her neck. "Is the insecurity gone?"

"Yes, but I have a question." 

"Yeah?" 

"When you were here, where did you pick up chicks?" 

"A bar, away from where the college kids and spring breakers go, that was more low key." 

"That definitely sounds like your kind of place." 

He moved, taking the bottle of lotion with him as he walked on his knees to in front of her crisscrossed legs, getting more sunscreen on his hands and extending one of her arms that he massaged it into. 

They were still whispering so the others wouldn't hear them. "I think I know why Steve's being so fucking obnoxious." He had her hand in his, rubbing each of her fingers.

"Because he needs to get laid?" 

His head popped up to look into her dark, lensed-covered eyes. "How'd you know?" 

"He smells of jealousy, and Connie was saying she hasn't had a proper dicking down in a while."

"Would you be mad if we spent tonight watching the kids so they can have a date night?" 

Speaking of the children, the two tiniest Murphys had been put down for a nap on a blanket under the umbrella. 

She smiled. "Javi, baby, I'm two steps ahead of you. I've already planned it out with Connie. I'm paying for a babysitter, and the four of us are going out."

Don’t get Javier wrong, he loved babysitting the Murphy children and had done it so many times he’d lost count and was more than willing to do it again tonight. Still, he’d much rather go out with his fiancée and best friends and didn’t want to turn down the chance to do so, not when it was something so rare; he was pretty sure the last time he went to a bar with both Steve and Connie, all of them were still living in Colombia and Olivia hadn’t been born yet. Usually, it was just Steve and him having a couple of drinks and shooting the shit while Connie stayed at home with the kids. Or it was Javier watching the kids so their parents could have a date night. 

“You’re perfect, and I don’t know how I got you to fall in love with me.” 

He got more lotion on his hands and started working on her other arm. 

“Oh, stop that.” Her free hand swatted away his words. “And I fell in love with you because you’re a goddamn catch.” Her fingers were smaller than his as he massaged sunscreen into them. 

“Hard to believe I’m a catch,” he said and kept talking, even though her mouth opened to say something, “But, I’m not gonna argue with you since I know you meant what you said.”

“Kiss me.” 

Smiling, he leaned forward and pecked her on the lips. 

She was frowning when he pulled back. 

“Javier, kiss me.” 

“Steve will yell at us.” 

“Steve can kick rocks—I wanna make out with my husband-to-be. Now kiss me." She puckered her lips, and he chuckled.

He'd let go of her hand, and this time, when he kissed her, she grabbed his face and made him follow her as she laid back, her legs uncrossing for him to rest his hips in the crux of her thighs while he was on top of her, kissing every last bit of air from her lungs. His arm beside her head held up his weight, his tongue plundering her mouth, the sun's hot rays beaming down against his bare back. 

Javier loved moments like this where she encompassed his every sense, and the world fell away to leave only her—she was all he could smell, all he could taste, all he could feel, her breaths were all he could hear, and if he opened his eyes she was all he could see. It was all her, and nothing else mattered. 

She was his everything and forever.

Ice cold water landed on his spine, Javier's body tensing at the sudden chill, his surprised, 'Fuck!' muffled with his mouth on hers. 

Steve was laughing as he screwed the cap on the empty water bottle, anger swelling inside Javier to the point he thought he might explode. 

He was scrambling onto his feet, ignoring his fiancée shouting, "Javi, no!" All he saw was red, and the moment he stood, facing his asshole of a best friend, and noticed the ground behind him was clear and the children weren't close, Javier launched himself at the other man, completely catching Steve off guard. A wheeze sounded as his shoulder rammed into his friend's stomach, followed by a pained grunt when Javier tackled him to the ground onto his ass. 

In his rage, he failed to remember a very important fact: Steve Murphy wrestled in high school and was the Tennessee Secondary School Athletic State Wrestling Champion back in '72.

The water bottle was long forgotten, Steve somehow managing to twist out from under him with Javier's arm getting put behind his back and shoved face-first into the sand. 

"You really wanna do this, Jav?" the blonde man panted. 

He did, and he was angry enough, thinking that with strength and weight in his corner, he stood a chance. 

Truthfully, Javi could take a lot of shit, and it required an astronomical amount of it to make him snap. In the time you’d been together, you could only think of one other time when he lost his cool: Stechner. That weasley fucker deserved the broken nose he had to get repaired at your hospital’s emergency room and the lack of good bedside manner from the nurses in that unit—word had traveled fast to watch out for the asshole, thanks to Robyn, and if there’s one thing you don’t do, it’s fuck with nurses. 

There was the bullshit with Lorraine he had to put up with, and Tammy, the girl at the farmers market who dared to hit on him with you there that pissed him off; how insanely annoyed and jealous he got at all of the guys who wouldn’t leave you alone in San Antonio, and your fight when he told you he loved you. 

Then you had Steve, who you’d been staying with for going on two days, poking the bear, if you will, and repeatedly doing things to annoy your fiancé until he finally reached his breaking point. The only reason you weren’t freaking out was that neither man had thrown a punch—they weren’t looking to cause the other any outright harm or too much pain; it was them letting off some steam. 

Now, here you were watching. 

It wasn't that you thought Javi couldn't take Steve in a fight. You just didn't see how he could get out of the position his friend pinned him in—he was fucked, and his only choice would be to tap out. 

Your eyes rounded when he seemed to leverage his weight to roll them and somehow break the hold—it was pretty impressive, especially since his aviators had managed to stay on his gorgeous face. 

The two men were grappling now, neither wanting to give in. 

You got up from the towel, dusting your legs off to sit in the chair beside Connie's, the other woman over at the cooler. Her two sons were asleep on a blanket under the umbrella's shade, Olivia sitting in the seat previously occupied by her father, watching the wrestling match with fascination and mindlessly eating a bag of Goldfish like it was popcorn. 

Connie returned with two bottles of beer, handing you one as she sat next to you. 

"Thanks—should we break this up?" you asked, unscrewing the cap and taking a long drink.

They were tussling on the ground, and you couldn't tell who was winning with how they were rolling around. 

"We should let them get it out of their systems," she replied. "I know Steve hasn't been easy, and it's better than Javi getting fed up and punching him." 

You looked at her. "Has he punched him before?" 

She met your eyes, her sunglasses on. "No." She shook her head. "But he's gotten real close. Steve knows just how to push his buttons. This time around, though, you're here, and Javier's very protective, so he's not putting up with Steve's crap as well as he usually does."

You frowned. "I'm sorry I'm causing problems." 

"There's nothing to be sorry for." She patted your knee. "They'll fight this out and be so tired and sore, they won't have the energy to do it again." 

Javi had Steve in a headlock, seeing the muscles in his arm and naked back flexed, his skin shiny with sweat and dusted with sand from tumbling around in it—his sunglasses were defying all odds by staying on his face, now just a little crooked. 

"You're obviously rooting for Steve," you stated, taking a swig of beer. 

Connie had just finished taking a drink. "I'm required to since I'm married to him." 

"And if you weren't married?" 

Her gaze was on yours. "I'd root for the underdog. Steve was a pretty good wrestler back in high school, and he'll tell you all about it." She rolled her eyes. "We have all his trophies and medals in a box somewhere because I will not have him displaying the ugly things in our living room. Anyways, he knows Javi swam, but where he's from, all that matters is wrestling and football, so he doesn't consider swimming a real sport—as I've told you, Steve knows how to push Javier's buttons, and he likes to tell him bowling requires actual skill and is more of a sport than Javi splashing around in water. So, I'd love to see a swimmer kick his butt, but that’s our secret."  She winked, and you smiled. 

Your eyes went to the old partners, seeing your fiancé was down on his stomach with Steve half on top of him, Javi's bicep in the bend of his elbow as he pulled it back in a lock to try and immobilize him. Perspiration was dripping down their faces, and you had no idea what the next play would be since your betrothed had a lot of surprises up his sleeve.

"I would love to see the swimmer kick his butt, too,” you said.  “It's about time Steve gets knocked down a peg." 

At that second, Javi got his knees under him and twisted, flinging the blonde man off of him.

"Yes!" you cheered. "Get him, babe!"

"Get him, tío!" Olivia shouted. "Beat him up! Do you think he’d really hurt Dad?” she asked her mom.

“No, baby," Connie answered. "Your father will be fine. They’re just roughhousing like a couple of giant kids." 

Her dad was on his back, Javi straddling his stomach and leaning forward to trap Steve's bent arm under his chest. You knew the man you were marrying had to know how to fight without a gun or weapon, as you imagined he would've been trained when he first joined the DEA on all sorts of ways to protect himself. 

What you didn’t expect was his next move, which was executed so smoothly it made you gasp.

Turning his body across Steve’s torso, his ass and feet were on the ground, knees bent, squeezing his heels against the other man’s side to hold him still while yanking Steve’s arm to his chest from up between his legs and pulling it with him as he sat back, causing the appendage to go uncomfortably straight—and if he went back any further you knew, it’d break.

It looked painful.

"I give!" Steve said through heavy breaths, his free hand hitting Javi's thigh. "I give!"

His sunglasses were sitting lopsided on his nose, his lungs heaving and making him pant as relief washed over him that Steve finally tapped out. 

He let go of his friend's arm immediately and moved off of him to lie in the sand with his feet going the opposite way than Steve's to catch his breath. 

He was too tired to be happy he won. 

Javier had gotten up at ungodly hours the last two mornings, and for him to think it'd been too early was saying something since he usually was up before the sun rose, and his fiancée woke almost every day. Add in traveling the day before, spending a couple of hours fucking in a hotel today, playing at the beach, and now finishing whatever the fuck Steve and he just did (Was it fighting? A brawl? A battle for dominance? Javier taking out his anger on the subject of it?), exhausted, didn't correctly describe the bone-deep, having-to-fight-to-keep-his-eyes-open tiredness he was overcome with.

The sound of footsteps sinking in the sand was heard coming in their direction. 

"Are you okay, Dad?" Olivia asked his friend. 

Javier's head lifted to see the girl kneeling beside her father and lowered it again.

"I'm fine, baby girl," Steve answered. "Your tío—now Olivia, your brothers are asleep and can’t hear what I’m about to say, so you better not make me put money in the swear jar when we get home—but your tío is a real sonofabitch and a cheating asshole for using his goddamn Brazilian mumbo jumbo bullshit that’s fucking illegal to do in real wrestling matches.”

Steve didn’t care for martial arts, especially the ones that allowed choking and locking joints as valid ways to make opponents submit. 

“I didn’t realize we were having a regulation match, Steve,” Javi said. “You got a spare singlet? I left mine in the high school locker room back in Laredo ‘cause I never—mi tesorito (my little treasure),” he said to Olivia. “If your dad doesn’t have to put change in the swear jar, I don’t either.” He went back to talking to Steve, “I left mine in the high school locker room back in Laredo ‘cause I never wore that shit. Now, stop being a sore fucking loser. You’re setting a bad example for your child.”

“I’m sorry, Olivia,” Steve apologized. “I shouldn’t have said all that and accepted my loss with more grace. Losing never means you’re a failure. It’s a chance to learn from your mistakes and do better next time. You got that, kiddo?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Good.”

Javier's head was back to resting in the sand, fixing his aviators, and closing his eyes—which was a mistake, feeling himself start to doze. 

He groaned as he sat up and moved to stand, holding out his hand for Steve to take. The other man let Javier help him to his feet. 

Steve and Olivia headed toward the rest of their family as Javier wiped the remnants of the beach off of his body to remove whatever of it he could. 

His eyes found Cielito's the moment he looked forward, and it made him smile, his feet moving in her direction without him having to tell them. It seemed she was drinking the rest of her beer in one go, her throat bobbing with each swallow. 

His attention moved to her breasts covered by the swimsuit top, his tongue swiping along his bottom lip at the thought of how easy it'd be to pull it down to play with them—they'd get bigger when she was pregnant, and she might choose to breastfeed... a hot spike of arousal shot through him and it caught him so off guard, he stumbled wondering why the fuck it turned him on thinking about sucking on her tits while she was lactating. 

They didn't keep secrets from each other, and he wouldn't call them secrets; there were just things that turned Javier on that he was too ashamed to tell her about—like how it made him hard to sniff her panties after she'd worn them all day; she loved that he'd taken over doing their laundry and had no idea it was him being a fucking pervert, smelling her clothes. 

And now she couldn't find out he wanted to taste her milk because he was also apparently a freak. 

He must've had a look on his face because when her beer bottle lowered, he was met with a concerned expression. She sat the empty drink down in the sand and got out of her chair to have them chest to chest with barely a second passing. 

"What's wrong?" she asked, framing his face with her hands. 

His head turned to kiss the center of her palm while he grabbed onto her hips. "Nothing's wrong," came his muffled response. "I'm just tired." 

Her other hand swept his bangs off his forehead. "You wanna take a nap? Connie's gonna go play in the water with Olivia and Stevie, who just woke up, while Steve watches Nate sleep. We can rest for a bit—it's honestly surprising you're even still awake."

"Barely." 

"Then it's naptime, babycakes." She smiled and grabbed one of his hands, pulling him over to their towels on the ground, letting go of him to fix the terry cloth and leaving no space between them. She got down on one and tugged him to join her, Javier going immediately to lie beside her on his side, removing his sunglasses, her doing the same, with his arm going under his head and bringing her front to meet his, tucking her under his chin.

He kissed her hair. 

Her finger was drawing circles on his pec, and he was so relaxed and content he felt boneless. 

"I'm not saying I condone you attacking Steve," she said. "Even if we both know he had it coming. I will say it was very sexy of you to kick his ass." 

"You're not mad at me?" 

She didn't seem angry, but then again, he hadn't listened when she tried to stop him from going after his friend.

"Nah," she answered. "It wasn't a try-to-do-as-much-damage-to-the-other-person-as-possible fight and was more a let-me-show-you-I-can-kick-your-ass fight—basically, you were showing off and taking your anger out on him." 

"How was I showing off?" 

"Well, let's start with the fact you decided to wrestle a wrestler and all those flashy moves—especially the last one. Definitely showing off." 

"Was just trying not to have my ass handed to me." He yawned, cuddling closer to her. 

"Uh-huh. Sure, Javi."

"Knew I had a chance of beating him." 

"Your final move was fucking brutal. You know you could break someone's arm like that?" 

"In real combat, you do break their arm."

"Jesus."

His eyelids were heavy, his words slurring a little. 

“When I got my assignment to Colombia, I looked into what I was getting myself into. I had the information the DEA gave me, but I wanted in-depth shit about how people fought down there, like preferred weapons and fighting styles.” He yawned again, speaking through it, “I found out about this Brazilian self-defense martial art—” His tone went back to normal. “—called jiu-jitsu and took some classes while stateside so I wouldn't be completely fucked—has come in handy a few times, but the cartels preferred guns.”

"Of course, guns. Where's the finesse, though? The skill? Guns are so boring and loud, I wanna see people actually fight." 

He smiled. 

"Shooting a gun isn't as easy as it looks." 

He was the best shot in basic training, all thanks to the fact he was born and raised in Texas on a ranch and was taught early on how to properly handle firearms—he’d do target practice with the empty cans his mother would save for him while she was cooking; when he was older, he’d go out with his father and cousins to hunt coyotes who threatened their cattle. 

"You aim and squeeze a trigger; how hard can it be?" she asked.  

"If you'd let me teach you, you'd know—we can do targets out at Pop's." 

"No, thank you. My hands are for healing, not killing." 

He breathed out a sigh. 

This was something they'd argued about before, and he didn't have the energy to fight with her right now. 

Javier wanted her to know how to use the gun he kept locked up under their bed in case of an emergency—it would give him peace of mind to know if he wasn't home, she could protect herself. She didn't know this, but since starting his new job consulting, he'd gotten a surprising amount of offers to speak at events and universities on his expertise and time with the DEA. He was shocked by how much they wanted to pay him to do forty-five-minute to an-hour talks, and he was willing to do them, but it'd mean going out of town for days at a time, and he'd worry too much about something happening to his fiancée while he was gone. 

Stechner shook him up with his dossier on her, and Javier wouldn't put it past the bastard to do something if he was out of town. This was why she needed to know how to defend herself and why it was such a point of contention for him—he was scared.

He couldn't lose her; it'd ruin him, and if something happened to her because of his past, there would be no coming back from it. He loved her more than anything, and if she wouldn't protect herself, he was going to do it for her until the day he died.

"Go to sleep, baby," she whispered, softly kissing his chest. 

His words came out mumbled. "I-love-you." 

"I love you, too." 

The steady crash of the ocean waves, the comfort of holding the woman he loved in his arms, and the warmth radiating from the sun lulled him to the point that his consciousness was slipping free, falling into sleep. 

—★—

He didn't know how long he slept. 

He did know he woke up because a small, wet body collided with his back. 

They were leaning over him, a tiny hand stroking his cheek, speaking quietly, copying how their parents always woke them up, "Wake up, tío. It's time for you to go bye-bye." It was cute and mildly threatening. "You gotta get up, tío." 

His wif-fiancée was still snuggled in his arms.

"Where am I going?" his sleepy voice asked. 

"Home." 

"To my house? You want me to go home?" 

"No! MY house. I don't want you to leave!" Stevie sounded on the verge of tears, and Javier felt terrible. 

He turned his head and moved his arm behind the child to rub comforting circles into his back. 

"Hey, mi principito (my little prince)," he said softly. "I'm not leaving yet, bud. I'll go back to your house. Are we done playing at the beach?"

The boy nodded, his hat flopping with the motion. "I wanna go home. I miss Moose." 

Moose was his floppy-eared, stuffed dog. 

"Yeah? Did you wake me up so I can take you and your Sissy home?" 

"Yes, it's time to say bye-bye to the ocean." 

"Okay, principito (little prince). We'll say bye-bye to the ocean, and I'll take you home to Moose." 

The child smiled and hugged his neck, choking him a little. 

"Thank you, tío!"

"You're welcome." 

Stevie let go of him and ran around toward the rest of his family, Javier seeing they were packing up. 

He looked down to see Cielito was still sleeping. He slid his fingers along her cheek, whispering, "Wake up, baby. It's time for us to go bye-bye." 

"Why is that vaguely threatening?" her tired voice asked. "We might be at the beach, but I am not gonna be sleeping with the fishes, thank you very much." 

"That's fucking dark." 

Her head tilted up to look at him with squinted eyes from the light. 

"Too much?" 

After what he was thinking about before he passed out? 

"Today? Yes." 

She frowned. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was in my head earlier." 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

"Not today or while we're on this trip. It's something for when we're home." Because it will end up being a fight, and they'll need the privacy of their own space to have it out and make up by fucking. 

"Okay. Guess it's time to get up." 

With that, they were getting up and helping their friends pack everything and clean the sand off the children and themselves. Only a little later, they were in their vehicles and hitting the road. 

When Connie said she'd been too busy with work and taking care of her kids to decorate for Christmas, it saddened you because Javi had told you once that when they all still lived down in Colombia, she was one of those people who decorated the day after Thanksgiving. Which wasn't a bad thing, and you completely understood since a Christmas tree was put up in your living room the weekend after Turkey Day—you were also one of those people who loved decorating the first chance they had, and it broke your heart a fellow enthusiast was missing out on something they loved doing. 

So, after getting back to the Murphys and washing away the beach in the shower like everybody else, you asked Javi to keep the children busy while you helped Connie and Steve get out her big plastic storage totes with the decorations and the giant box with the artificial tree. 

The Christmas tree went up first in the sitting room at the front of the house in a spot between the couch and dining room, and for a fake tree, it looked pretty real with how full the limbs were. 

You helped her string it with colorful lights, and once the red skirt was put down at the base, Connie called for Javi to bring in the kids to help her decorate with ornaments from an open, almost full bin. 

This seemed like an intimate family moment with Christmas music softly floating in from the room past the dining room, Connie holding her one-year-old who was looking at the pretty lights in wonder and speaking nonsense, Olivia and Steve laughing about something you didn't catch as they grabbed ornaments out of the container to hang on the tree with Stevie. 

It was the perfect picture of a happy family, and it made you yearn so hard to one day have the same thing, your chest squeezed tight. 

What made your eyes start to water was the realization that you were going to have something like this—this was a taste of your future and what you had to look forward to. 

A large palm wrapped around yours, and your head turned to see Javi beside you. He nodded once toward the front door and quietly led you out of it so as not to disturb the family. 

He was in jeans and a pastel pink button-up that matched the color of the t-shirt you were wearing with large, thin, teal letters across your chest spelling out, 'Oregon.' It was something you picked up on a visit to the rainy state years ago.

He faced you, wrapping you up in his arms once you were outside on their porch, that was nothing more than slightly raised pavement under an outcropping of the roof. 

"You okay, Cielito?" His face was pressed into the side of your head. 

"Yeah. I'm great." He tightened his arms around you a little. 

His lips were close to your ear, softly rasping, "I was thinking about what our Christmas could look like next year. We could be in our new house. It could be our first Christmas with a baby, or you'd be pregnant at least. But what I know for sure is we'll be together, we'll be married, and we'll be so fucking happy."

Tears were brimming in your eyes, moving your head to meet his gaze, smiling. 

"We will, Javi. We'll be so fucking happy, and we'll be a family." 

His hand cupped your cheek as he softly smiled. 

"You know we're already a family? You, me, Pop. We're a family, and mi mamá is gonna watch, wherever she is, as it grows, and I know she'll be so happy." He made sure your eyes were on his. "Cielito, mi amor (my love), I don't want you to think that we become a family when we get married—you don't need my last name to be family, and we've been one for a long fucking time now, at least to Pop and I, we have." 

There was a lump in your throat, and your eyes burned with unshed tears. 

For as long as you could remember, you'd always felt out of place within your family. Your brother got all of your parents' attention, your cousins all shined with their 4.0 GPAs, attendance to the top schools in the nation, and on your father's side, graduating with medical degrees and going right into internships at the best teaching hospitals. And there was you, the one who went to a state school to save on tuition; you did get good grades, but it was for a degree that wasn't flashy enough. 

There wasn’t a time you felt good enough or loved by your immediate family. 

All of this meant that you'd never had a family like Javi or the Murphys. There was never any warmth or unconditional love for you. At least there wasn't until this man in front of you came into your life. He gave you a family with him: his dad, his tías, tíos, and primos (aunts, uncles, and cousins). They all welcomed you with open arms and open hearts, treating you like you'd been a part of the family for years and weren't a stranger. Knowing Javi thought you were already a family made you so happy you struggled to keep yourself from crying. 

It wasn't blood that made a family. It was love; pure, unconditional love. 

"Thank you," your voice was small. 

His eyes got a little bigger. "For what, baby?" 

"Loving me and giving me a family, at least one that cares about me." You could see how sad it made him to hear that. "And," you continued, "wanting to have tiny Peñas with me, so I'll have even more family to love and love me.” You took in a breath. “This is the first time I'm saying this out loud, but I've felt so fucking alone for I don't even know how long. I tried to drown it out by working—which didn't work. And it led to me moving to Laredo where I’d have a better work/life balance, and by fucking serendipity, I met you my second week there." Tears started falling down your cheeks. "I met my soulmate in the produce section of an H-E-B and absolutely cannot look at tomatoes anymore without remembering how small they look in your enormous mitts." There was a slight shift of his head, and you knew there was a question on his mind. "Yes, Javier, I get a little horny looking at tomatoes now because they make me think about your hands. Are you happy? I get turned on by a fucking vegetable." 

"Strawberries." 

Your eyebrows creased. "What?" 

He was looking at you seriously. "Strawberries turn me on."

Your brow lifted. "The time with the whipped cream?" 

He smiled. "And I got your come all over a strawberry and ate it? Yeah, can't look at them without getting half-hard." 

"That makes me feel so much better. I'm not the only weirdo." He grimaced for a split second. 

"No... You're not..." 

His mouth was suddenly on yours, kissing you tenderly, a hand caressing your cheek while the other slipped into the back pocket of your jean shorts. 

There happened to be another reason he'd brought you outside, you came to find out after making out for a few minutes. One of Connie's Christmas totes was out there with lights for the house, the long green wires dotted with multi-colored glass bulbs. 

Javi procured a metal ladder from god only knew where, and you wondered how exactly the lights were going to be hung—they had a tiled roof that overhung a little over the front and back of the house, and there weren't any wooden edges or gutters that could be used. 

Another thing about their roof was it was a tad steep, yet you watched as Javi climbed up the metal rungs of the ladder with a string of lights in his hand to get up onto the tiles and, to your absolute horror, laid down on his belly to lean over the edge. 

This was how you found out there were nails in the home's exterior wall for the sole purpose of Christmas lights, and your dumbass of a fiancé was choosing the most dangerous way to put them up.

You didn't want to spook him, so you whispered harshly. 

"Javier, why are you doing it like that? Use the ladder." 

His voice was strained from how he was positioned. "I hate going up and down and moving it, when doing it like this, I just have to move over." 

"You're gonna fall and crack your head open." 

"I've done this before. I'll be fine." 

Your arms crossed over your chest, hmphing. 

"Well, I don't like it." 

His head tilted to look at you. 

"We should make sure it's not this fucking hard to put up lights on our house. Remind me to check the plans when we get home." The draft plans for the house you were having built; they weren't the final ones since you had yet to make all the edits and additions you wanted. 

"Will do. Be careful. You're stressing me out." 

He scooted over. 

The front door opened, and Steve came out. 

"What are y'all doing out here?" 

"Javi's risking his life to make your house pretty," you said, pointing at the man. 

Steve moved to stand next to you. 

"If you fall, we're not paying the medical bills," Steve called out. 

Javi flipped him off. 

The blonde man turned his head toward you. "Thank you for doing this. You don't know how happy it's made my wife. This is her favorite time of the year, and I know it's been killing her that she hasn't had the time to decorate."

"We're happy to help," you replied. 

"She used to do it first thing the morning after Thanksgiving. She'd always make sure she had it off from work and I'd come home to our place looking like Santa Claus moved in." He chuckled. "Then, after the kids, it got harder for her to find the time, and the thing is, she doesn't even need to work full time. I make enough to support our family, but if I were to suggest her becoming a stay-at-home mom? Hey, Jav?" The man in question had slowly been making his way across the roof. 

"Yeah?" 

"What would Con do if I suggested she became a stay-at-home mom?" 

"She'd have your balls."

Steve spoke to you, "She'd have my fucking balls." 

Your eyes were on his blue ones. "Well, she loves her job, and I completely understand where she's coming from. Why is she the one who has to quit her career to take care of the children? Aren't you tired of the DEA's bullshit? Why don't you quit and become a stay-at-home dad?"

He made a face. "Might as well let Connie take my balls. I wouldn't want my wife being the breadwinner." He looked toward the roof, saying loudly, "Javi, would you want your wife to be the sole breadwinner?" 

"No."

That wasn't the full context of the question.

"He didn't give you the full scenario," you told your future husband. "Would you be okay with your wife working full time? She wants to do it and loves her job while you were a stay-at-home dad?"

He completely stopped moving and was silent for some seconds. 

"Javi?" you said. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, sorry. To answer your question, yes, we both pull our weight and love what we do."

You turned to Steve, "See, there's nothing wrong with a woman being the breadwinner if you're equally putting in the effort for your family. She works, and you handle the kids and everything with the house. It's an even trade and doesn't make you less of a man. You gotta work on being more of a feminist, Steve. You've got a daughter with an absolute boss bitch of a mother showing her it's possible to have a successful career and a family. Sure, Connie doesn't need to work, but she loves it, and maybe next year you could surprise her by keeping the kids out of the house all day on her day off or hire a babysitter so she can do this one thing that makes her so fucking happy."

"I never even thought of that," he said quietly.

You gave his arm a pat. "That's why it's good to have an outside perspective sometimes. Now I swear to god, you better grab that ladder and take care of the lights on that part over the patio—" It was a steep A-shape, and you didn't want Javi on it. "Or, I will have your balls, and Connie will absolutely back me up." 

"Yes, ma'am." He started moving toward the ladder. "Javi," he said to his friend. "That woman you're marrying is scary—it's no wonder she and Connie got on like a house on fire." 

"I hate admitting we both like strong, independent women, who can kick our asses," Javi said.

Steve chuckled. "They're sexy as hell." 

While the men finished the lights outside the house, you went inside to see if Connie needed help. 

The tree was beautifully decorated with the lights, shining ball ornaments in many colors, some decorations made by the children, a string of beads around it, and at the bottom was a train track at the perimeter of the tree skirt with a model train slowly chugging along. 

On the couches and chairs in the sitting room, festive pillows were put out that were white and had red poinsettias as a design on them, one small rectangular pillow in red velvet, and white cursive writing reading, 'Jingle Bells.'

Stockings were hung for each family member, with their names neatly embroidered on them on the wall beside the tree. The dining room table had Christmas-themed table settings atop it, and in the kitchen, the towels were all replaced with red and green ones. 

The mother and her kids were nowhere to be found at the front of the house or in the kitchen, but there was laughing at the back in the family room where you headed. 

Connie was outlining the windows with a string of rainbow-colored lights while Olivia danced with her brothers to “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” by The Jackson Five—Nate doing more of a shimmy while Stevie did a shake and their sister twirled about. 

This was another one of those moments where you felt like you were intruding on core memories being made—these children, the older ones at least, would remember dancing their hearts out to Christmas music after spending the day at the beach with their favorite uncle. 

A special day for them. 

Like how it was a special day for you and memories were made you'd never forget. 

You'd always remember the warmth of Javier's leather jacket over your shoulders, the smell of the salty, briny air, how your hand felt in his, the beautiful colors of the sky as the sun rose and the light reflected off the ocean, and the moment you realized he was proposing, the surprise, the shock, the unbridled happiness, and seeing the gorgeous ring you'd find out belonged to his mother. He tasted of mint when you kissed him the first time after you said yes. When you finished breakfast, his kisses were laced with coffee and the sweetness of fruit and glazed pastries. The words of his love and devotion were etched in your brain, and how he knew he would marry you on your third date during another moment you could never forget, of dancing in the kitchen with him for the first time. 

This was a day you'd think about on the bad days. You'd use these memories in the future to remember why you loved Javier Peña so much when he pissed you off, annoyed you, or fucked up. Your children would hear about their mother's best morning of her entire life. 

You turned around and started walking toward the kitchen to get a glass of water. 

One day, it’d be Javi and you making core memories with your own children, and the thought made you smile. 

The Christmas lights were a pain in the ass to put up on the house, but he'd gotten it done and didn't fall off the roof and crack his head open—he had to change his shirt, though, which annoyed the fuck out of him because he wouldn't match his fiancée when they went out. 

It was later on in the evening, they'd eaten dinner, the kids had been put to bed, and the last-minute babysitter willing to come and charge them an arm and a leg had shown up to make bank watching TV and eat his friends’ food. 

They were on their way to the bar in their rental while Steve and Connie took his little truck. 

"Why are you pouting?" Cielito asked. 

"I'm not pouting." 

"You're absolutely pouting. Is it the shirt?" 

"No..."

"We can go to a bar not looking like twinsies one time, baby." His hand was holding hers on her thigh, and she rubbed the back of his with her other one. "Besides, the shirt you're wearing is still a shade of pink."

"But not the right shade." 

"I like your coral shirt. I'm sorry my matching shirt to that one is absolutely disgusting from today's events. We'll match again tomorrow." 

He deflated as he sighed. 

"Anyways, we're going to a bar in Miami. Is this like a party bar? Should I be expecting a bunch of college kids? Or something low-key?" 

His face scrunched up. 

"Definitely not a party bar. We're going to my usual place." 

"Oh." 

He glanced over at her. 

"Is that okay?" he asked. "Or do you want to go to a party bar? I can take you dancing if that's what you want. Steve and Connie won't give a fuck. They're just happy about getting a night without the kids." 

She was looking at her lap. 

"The place we're going is fine."

His bullshit detector in his head was going off, looking back at the road. 

"What's wrong with this bar? Why don't you want to go to it?" 

"I didn't say anything was wrong with it or that I didn't want to go to it."

"Your reaction when I told you where we're going begs to differ—cut the shit, mi amor (my love). What's wrong?" 

She let out a long sigh and mumbled a reply he couldn't understand. 

"What?" he asked, looking over at her. "Use your words, baby." 

"I said I don't like that we're going to the place you'd find women to fuck at! There, are you happy?" 

Her outburst caught him off guard, and it took him a second to respond. 

"You've never had a problem with the bar in Laredo..." he said. 

"That's different." She slumped. 

"How is it different...?" 

"We're just really digging into my insecurities today." 

"What are you talking about?" 

He was so confused. She was the one who wanted to go to a bar, and he was taking her to one that had a decent atmosphere she’d like. 

"The women you hooked up with in Laredo are all around your age—I'm an outlier. Then we have Miami, that's a whole different playing field because it's filled to the brim with young gorgeous women—like so many chicks walking down the street who could be models, and then there's fucking me who isn't even looking her cutest and was dumb to not pack a single pretty dress, and we're going to the place you used to pick up hot ladies to bone!"

"I don't give a fuck about anyone else at the bar, and you're the one wearing my mother's ring. Cielito?" He glanced over at her, and she met his eyes. "Anywhere we go, it doesn't matter the place or how many people are there, you're the one I look for—nobody else matters. They don't fucking exist. It's you. It's always only you that I search for in the room.” He focused forward again. “Yeah, we're going to the bar I used to frequent, but that's because it's a nice place that I know you'll like. If you're really bothered about it, we'll go somewhere else. But you need to understand that—name a female celebrity the world thinks is the sexiest." He sure as fuck didn't know. The only one he could name off the top of his head was Farrah Fawcett.

"Um, Jennifer Aniston." 

"I have no fucking clue who that is." 

"Rachel on Friends and the main chick in that movie we watched where the woman gets pregnant and wants to raise the baby with her gay best friend instead of her boyfriend and the baby daddy." 

He vaguely remembered the movie and what the actress looked like. 

"Okay, yeah. You need to understand that Jennifer Aniston could be in the room, and I wouldn't fucking notice because I'd be too busy looking at you." 

"Well, if we're out in public, there'd probably be fans flocking her and paparazzi, so she'd be pretty hard to ignore, on top of that fact, she's stunning." 

He took a deep breath and let it out. 

"Cielito?" His head turned toward her.

"Yes?" She met his gaze.

"I love you and only have eyes for you. Do you understand that?" 

"Yes, and I'm a little overwhelmed by how sweet it is that you search for me, and I do the same thing and search for you, and literally Harrison Ford could be in the room, and you'd be the one I was ogling."

"Really?" 

"Yes, because, as I've stated, you are the sexiest man alive." 

That made him feel really good about himself.

"Do you want me to take you somewhere else?" 

"No. I'm okay now. You made me feel better." 

"Good." 

He raised her hand to kiss her knuckles and the large diamond on her ring.

When Javier spent a lot of time somewhere, he looked for three things: a decent barber, a good bar, and Mexican food. This meant his first couple of weeks were spent getting acquainted with his new surroundings and searching for his big three. 

In Colombia, he didn't have a barber but instead went to a woman-owned salon, where an abuela, her two daughters, and a granddaughter ran the place, and he had the best time listening to the chismear (gossip) while the old woman did his hair. 

Aside from the bar everyone at the embassy went to, there was also this little hole-in-the-wall place he liked to go to when he didn't want to be seen by colleagues called La Sirenita (The Little Mermaid) that Cielito got a kick out of when he told her about it. 

He managed to find Mexican places in each place he lived while in South America, though Bogotá had the best tacos.

Miami, Steve told him to get his hair cut at the place he went to, and Javier laughed because he thought it was a joke. He found a barber within the first week by simply asking a guy working at the mall with a nice, fresh haircut where he'd gotten it done. 

There was a huge nightlife scene and more bars and clubs than he could count, but his preference was dive bars where the atmosphere wasn't too rowdy, and the drinks were poured well, which led to him finding a joint whose name was taken from a euphemism for drunken hallucinations, called The Pink Elephant—he got a kick out of the name, and the place wasn’t half bad.

It wasn't flashy; the lights were dimmed, with a handful of bright neon signs on the walls advertising different brands of beer. The wall behind the long bar had dozens and dozens of liquor bottles displayed behind it on shelves. The seating options included the bartop, tables, and booths, and a small stage was at the back for live music with a dance floor that wasn’t too big. A hallway separated the kitchen from a small room attached to the main one that had a couple of pool tables and down the hall led to two single-stall bathrooms, a janitor’s closet, and a door to the outside where people could smoke if they wanted air, and didn’t want to do it inside.

Since it was a Friday night, there was already a light haze of cigarette smoke when they walked in, and a cover band was playing hits from the 80s. Only a few seats were empty at the bartop, and it wasn't looking good in terms of tables until Connie spotted some people leaving a booth and snagged it before they even made it out of the door. 

It wasn’t terribly loud, but he had to speak in Cielito's ear as they walked to the bar with his arm around her. "Go sit with Connie. Steve and I will get the drinks." 

"I'm staying with you," she said.

He shrugged to himself. "Okay," he replied and kissed the side of her head. 

Steve and she were on either side of him when they got to the bartop, and her right arm was around his waist with her hand on his ass. Her left elbow rested on the top of the bar, and she seemed to be really interested in touching her hair. 

He smiled as they waited for the bartender to come over and take their order. His head turned to speak in her ear again. "You want me to get up on stage and say in the mic for everyone to hear I'm yours and marrying you?" 

"I don't know what you're talking about. I simply wanted to spend more time with you." 

"You wanted to mark your territory, is what you wanted to do." He hugged her closer to his side. "And I fucking love it—flash your ring back a little more. I don't like how that woman's looking at me." 

Her head quickly turned toward him. 

"What woman?" 

"The one at the table.” He nodded over her. “Seven o'clock. Blonde. Fake tits. Won't stop eyefucking the back of my head." 

Cielito's head whipped in the direction he said, and her glare must've been deadly with how the other woman paled, his fiancée flipping her off with her ring finger, followed by the middle one. 

He laughed, pressing his face into her neck and kissing her skin, saying into it, "I love you so fucking much." 

Her hand went into the hair at the back of his head, and she pulled to make him look at her. "I love you, too." 

Those perfect lips of hers smashed against him, and he grabbed a handful of her ass, opening his mouth for her tongue to slide against his. 

It might be fucked up, but one thing that really got him going was when she got territorial and needed everyone in the vicinity to know they were together. He loved being wanted so much that she was broadcasting he was hers, and she was his, and she’d fight anyone who tried to make a pass at him. That was why he was all over her, too, so anyone with eyes would see she was off limits. 

It was her protectiveness of him, like he was of her, that also did it for him. Without even thinking, she’d put herself between him and another to defend him if she had to—which he’d never allow her to be in any actual danger. She could eviscerate his enemies with her words all she wanted; anything physical, if it came to that, would be left to him no matter how feisty she got, and she could get real feisty. 

God, he loved her. 

He was no damsel in distress or princess trapped in a tower—he could take care of himself, but he didn’t have to anymore because he lucked out and got a knight in shining armor for a wife, and he was going to worship the ground she walked upon every damn day for the rest of his life. 

"Are y'all just gonna suck face or order some fucking drinks?" Steve asked. He must've turned his attention to the bartender. "Sorry about them. They got engaged this morning, and I swear they're stuck together with glue or some shit." 

He broke the kiss, turning to glare at Steve. 

"Congrats!" the large man behind the bar said. Blue light from a neon sign was reflecting off his bald head, and he had an impressive full handlebar mustache that put what Javier had going on to shame. With how big the man’s biceps were, he could probably benchpress Steve and Javier at the same time. "Let me see the ring." 

Cielito immediately held out her hand, and Javier’s chest puffed out a little. 

"That's a beauty." He looked between them both. "What can I get you two? On the house, in celebration this beautiful woman actually said yes to a guy with a face like yours." 

Javier's eyes narrowed, and his jaw ticked, Steve laughing beside him.

The guy grinned. "I'm joking! Thought you were gonna kill me with how you looked at me. You're a real handsome man—a pretty boy, and you’ll make some cute babies together." 

That had him going soft. "Thanks, man," he said. 

"No problem. Now, what can I get you?"

They ordered their drinks, Javier sticking to his usual, a whiskey, the bartender surprising him with some spendier stuff than he normally got. Cielito, on the other hand, ordered a drink he'd never heard of with an interesting name that, after she told him everything that was in it, turned out to basically be a blue Long Island ice tea or something that told him he was in for an interesting night. 

At the table, the Murphys were on one side while they were on the other with her pressed against him and his arm over her shoulders. 

"So, what are y'all’s plans for Christmas?" Connie asked before taking a sip of her colorful drink. 

"I'm working," his future wife answered. "It's a bummer since it's our first Christmas, and Javi has it off. We'll do most of our celebrating on Christmas Eve with his dad, and then when I get home from work on Christmas, we'll open presents." 

Connie looked sympathetic. "I know what it's like having to work on holidays. Sick people don't stop being sick for a day. Hopefully, next year, y’all will have it off together." 

“I sure hope we do.” 

And he hoped they’d have a baby by then. 

The four of them chatted while they sipped their drinks. Connie was interested in hearing if they had any plans for their wedding yet or an idea for their honeymoon, which they told her the truth of how they were hoping to have a small ceremony with his dad officiating at the ranch, followed by a big party with their friends and family they were invited to, and that their honeymoon was going to be on an island—they hadn't talked about it yet, they both just knew that's where they'd wanna go and shared a look when Javier had said it. 

When he finished his whiskey, he had a nice buzz and decided to go get a beer since he had to drive later that evening. 

His friends were telling Cielito funny tales about being parents, which she was enjoying.  

"I'm gonna go get another drink," he whispered in her ear. "You want anything?" 

She looked at him, and he could tell she was just as buzzed. "Can you see if they have fries or mozzarella sticks? I want food." 

"Okay, mi amor (my love)." He kissed her forehead. 

He got up from the table and made his way through people standing and past tables, unable to help himself from looking back over his shoulder to see Cielito watching him as she spoke to Steve and Connie.

Javier wasn't paying attention and ran into the back of someone. 

"Shit." He looked forward. "Sorry." It was the woman his fiancée had flipped off earlier, and her face shifted from anger to delight when she saw it was him. 

She turned around to face him and put a hand on his arm that he immediately shrugged off as she said, "I knew you'd come find me—" She leaned in close, and he could smell the booze on her breath. "—why don't you let me take you out back and we can do things that stuck up bitch you're here with wouldn't think of." 

He was already on edge, but that had anger flaring up inside of him. He stepped back from her with his eyes glaring, and when he spoke, his tone was icy enough to freeze the Sahara. “Don’t you fucking dare talk about my wife like that. She’s better than you in every fucking way, and I wouldn’t even look at you if you were the last woman on earth, let alone touch you—that woman—” He pointed behind him. “—is literal perfection, and I’m the luckiest man on this fucking planet because she’s with me. So, get it through your head. I’m not interested and very happily taken.” 

She looked mad. "You could've just told me no, you asshole." 

"You disrespected my wife and, in turn, disrespected me and lost any chance of me politely turning you down. Now get the fuck out of my way, my wife's hungry, and you've wasted enough of the time I could've been spending with her." 

She scoffed and moved, muttering ‘Fucking prick’ under her breath.

He paid attention this time when he continued walking to the bar and only turned to look toward their table when he reached his destination—"Shit," was said under his breath as he immediately booked it the way he came at the sight of Steve blocking the woman he loved from leaving their side of the booth as the blonde he’d told to fuck off backed away from their table with her middle finger raised.  

Connie was making her way toward him, meeting him halfway. "Thank god," she said, continuing to walk with him. "Your fiancée is gonna beat that woman's ass." 

"What happened?" 

"Well, she didn't care for the blonde talking to you, but when it was clear you were telling her to fuck off, she was fine. Then..."

He was at Connie's back as they pushed through people. 

"Then what?" 

"Then you apparently pissed off that woman enough she came over to our table to tell your girl she could keep you since you had no taste, were probably bad in bed, and some demeaning shit about your masculinity—I've never seen Steve move as fast as he did to get between the two of them, 'cause Javi, the look on your fiancée's face said she was ready to spend the night in jail." 

"Fuck, did you see where the blonde went?" 

He’d lost her in the crowd, his head turning to try and spot her.

"If she knows what's best for her, she left, but you need to calm your lady down." 

They were at the table, and Steve was standing with his arms crossed, swaying from side to side with how she was trying to get around him. 

"I just want to talk to her," she said. 

"You wanna do more than talk to her," Steve replied. 

"She deserves to be more than talked to."

Javier patted Steve's shoulder twice, and the other man glanced over to see it was him. 

"Hey, look who's back," Steve said, stepping to the side so Javier could take his place. 

Her face was scrunched in anger, and he crouched to be at eye level with her. He pressed his hand to her cheek. 

"Cielito, baby, it's okay," he said soothingly. "She's gone. Stop thinking about her. She doesn’t matter." 

“Not after what she said about you,” she seethed. 

"Let's get some air, mi amor (my love)." He stroked her face. "How drunk are you?" 

His eyes moved to her drink, which wasn't close to empty. 

"Buzzed—I didn't want to get drunk." 

He nodded. "Okay, come on, baby," he said, taking her hand firmly into his and getting her out of the seat. He leaned into Steve. "Thanks, man—I'm gonna take her outside for a bit so she can cool down. You guys enjoy yourselves. We'll be back."

"Sounds good." 

She was behind him as they weaved through people to the hallway leading to a back door. The corridor was empty, the music getting quieter and quieter the further they walked away from it and toward the fire door at the end of the hall, a red glowing 'Exit' sign hanging above it. 

Right before they got to where they were headed, there was a little alcove with unisex single-stall bathrooms across from each other and a janitor's closet between them. They passed it and were coming upon the back door when it suddenly opened—"Fuck," Javier said, coming face to face with the blonde. He spun around, immediately grabbing onto Cielito's hips, trying to turn her, too. "Other way." 

He knew the moment she spotted the other woman because she tried to push past him. 

"Hey, bitch!” Cielito shouted. “Say that shit to my face again!" That was a bad idea, and he put his arms around her waist, keeping her in front of him no matter how much she struggled. "Let me kick her ass, Javi!" He was forcing her to move backward. 

"No, baby," he grunted. "I'm not letting you get arrested. She’s not worth it." 

"I told you," the woman loudly slurred, "your husband is a shitty fuck and a pussy—look at this, he has you fighting for him!" 

His head turned. "Are you fucking serious, lady?" he asked her. 

The sound his fiancée made would best be described as a roar, and he had no choice but to haul her away with his arms around her middle while she thrashed in his hold and screamed some very creative profanity at the blonde—his favorite was ‘You stupid, fuckitty, fuck, fuck, fucking thundercunt bitch!’

He didn't think he could get her all the way back down the hall, so he took her into the one empty bathroom with the door cracked open, getting it shut and locked behind them.

What was he supposed to do now? He needed to get her mind off the confrontation or, better yet, make her forget about the whole thing. 

He did the one thing he knew would distract her, crushing his mouth to hers, muffling her surprised sound. His large palm was cupping her cheek, his other holding her hip, as he guided her some steps to press her back against the sink on the wall opposite the door. When his tongue swiped along her bottom lip, asking for entry, she opened, and he eagerly delved inside to tangle his muscle with her own, tasting some notes from her drink—tequila, gin, blue curaçao, sour mix. 

Her fingers were on his chest, and where once it was to push out of his hold, now she had his shirt clutched in her fists, trying to pull him closer. The first moan he earned from her made him smile into their filthy kiss that was nothing more than a practiced dance of their tongues sliding along each other. 

Blood was rushing to his groin, feeling himself beginning to harden, and he wasn't sure if this would be enough to get her mind off of what had happened—they were alone, someplace semi-private, all he'd need to do is pull down those jean shorts, turn her around and slip his cock into the wet heat of her pussy and he knew he was a good enough fuck to make her forget that other woman even existed. 

When they needed to take a breath, he nipped at her bottom lip, his mouth making a path of kisses along the line of her jaw until he was at her ear, letting his hot, hard breaths fan against it, causing her to shiver. 

"Let me make you feel good," he rasped. His hand on her hip moved to palm at the front of her bottoms, where she was extra warm. "Let me make you forget, Cielito—I’ll fuck you nice and hard. I'll make those pretty eyes roll back, and the dick will be so good, I’ll have you drooling. Can I make it all better? Make you forget?" 

“Babe, no amount of good dick is gonna make me forget about what that fucking twatwaffle said—and it’s absolutely on sight if I see her stupid, jealous bottle blonde ass again.”

His nose nudged into her ear. “Is that a no or a challenge?”

“It’s a—“ She ground against his hand. “—I’ve always fantasized about you fucking me in a bar, so I’m down for a quickie, but it’s not gonna make me stop being angry.”

He smiled and kissed her cheek. “A challenge then.”

Her eyebrow rose as he looked her in the eyes. "You really think you're that good?" 

He smirked. "Look at who you're talking to. I know I'm that good, and I'll make you so fucking cock dumb you'll forget that spiteful woman even exists." His hands went to the front of her shorts, quickly popping the button and pulling down the zipper. "Now be a good girl for me and don't make a sound no matter how good it feels—I don't want us getting kicked out. Steve would be so fucking annoying about it." 

She palmed over his half-hard dick, and it made his mouth go slack, her eyes darkening. "He would," she said. "I'll try to be quiet." 

"You will be quiet, or I stop." 

Her eyes went a little wide. "Sexy Star Wars," she whispered. 

"What?" 

"It's like the sexy version of the line Yoda says in Empire, 'Do or do not, there is no try.' I either will or will not be quiet, there won’t be any trying—I make noise, and you'll withhold the dick." To end the sentence, she lightly squeezed his cock. 

He huffed out an amused breath. 

"I love you." Leaning in, he kissed her. When he pulled back, he said, "But I can't believe we're about to fuck and you're thinking about Star Wars." 

She looked at him madly, and he wondered what he said wrong. "I'm sorry, what you said reminded me of a line and that I don't happen to be the king of dirty talk, unlike some people." 

"King of dirty talk?" 

"You, Javier, and I'm just a fucking mood killer." 

He needed to get things back on track, and clearly, he accidentally upset her—he knew just what to do. 

"Stop it," he told her and took her face into his hands, smashing his lips to hers in a hard kiss.

It was one of those kisses where she was a little disoriented afterward and hungry for more—wanting his hands on her, to feel his cock inside her, more of his mouth on hers—it was a kiss that made her greedy and grabby, and she definitely got his pants undone to get the hard, hot shaft of his cock into her palm, languidly stroking him. 

He slid his hand into her panties, slipping two fingers through her slit to find her cunt wet and slick enough to take him. 

“Fuck, baby,” he murmured into her lips. His mouth moved to rasp in her ear. “I haven’t even touched this perfect pussy, and you’re soaked—it turns you on to know I’m gonna fuck you in here?” Her answer was a moan. “—It turns you on that if we’re not quiet enough, someone could hear how good I make you feel?” 

The pads of his digits were swirling around her perky little clit. 

“Yes,” the word was a gasp, and he smiled. 

“My dirty fucking girl—I bet you want people to hear us—you want everyone to know this pussy is mine—” He cupped it in his palm. “—and I’m the best fuck you’ve ever had.” 

She’d told him as much on many occasions. 

Her hand left his pants to make him look at her with a tug of his hair, her eyes dark and face serious. 

“I want that stupid bitch to hear you giving it to me so good she leaves the bar crying out of pure jealousy.” 

And she was still angry at the blonde. She was going to make him work for it, and he was ready for the challenge.

License plates from different states and countries, some old and beat up, others newer, lined the top half of the walls in colorful metal stripes, the lower portion painted black; a decent-sized mirror was over the wall-mounted white porcelain sink, the toilet beside it, and a hand air dryer hanging near them—most notably, Javier had room to work in since the space wasn’t cramped at all. 

Wasting no time, he shoved her shorts and underwear down, spinning her around to face the mirror and sink, and he took a couple of steps back, bringing her with him. 

He looked at them both in the mirror with his head beside hers, pressing his lips to her ear, and eyes locked on one another's. “I know you want her to hear,” he whispered, “but I’m gonna need you to be quiet.” He rubbed her bare hips. “Promise me that no matter how fucking good it feels, you’ll keep those pretty noises I love to a minimum.” 

She gulped. “I promise, even though I think we should just go for it and be that couple.” 

He smiled. “The couple that doesn’t care and has noisy sex in a bar bathroom? You get brave when you’re pissed off.” He kissed her jaw under her ear. “And no, we’re gonna be quiet.” 

Getting kicked out at minimum and arrested at worst didn’t sound like a good time to him. 

She pouted, and it made him chuckle. 

“This isn’t something you would’ve done before me,” he said as he shimmied his jeans down his thighs to free himself. He took his dick in hand, giving it a few strokes. “I’ve created a monster.” He needed to make sure he was nice and slick, so he spit on his fingers and used them to lube himself up. 

“A horny monster—stick it in.” She wiggled her behind. 

He kicked her feet apart. "A fucking impatient monster—bend forward, hands on your knees," he ordered, lightly pushing on her spine, and she did as he said, sticking her ass out. It only took him seconds to notch at her opening and push right in, her hot, tight walls hugging him all the way down to the hilt. 

The first, initial thrust was always his favorite when they both couldn’t help the soft sounds that escaped their throats and the heat of her cunt giving way and enveloping him, Javier fitting inside her so snugly, he thought his cock had to be just the right size for her—not, too big, not too small, simply perfect.

It gave credence to the fact he was made for her. 

He knew he had big hands, yet he loved how perfectly they held her smaller ones. Their lips fit together like two matching puzzle pieces snapping together. His arms were long enough to hold her close to him. 

They were two halves of a whole that managed to find each other on a planet with billions of people—he found his media naranja (soulmate), and right this second, he was going to fuck away all of the negative shit that had happened tonight, because he loved her more than life itself, and wanted her to enjoy the rest of her night. 

This was going to be quick and dirty, hard and rough. 

His hands were gripping her hips as he pulled out almost all the way and slammed back in, tugging her ass back when he thrusted forward to penetrate as deep as possible. Her back arched, and on the next stroke, a choked noise came from her, and he knew his dick was pressing in just right to hit that spot that made her pussy weep uncontrollably and her thighs tremble. 

He set a punishing pace that had his hips slamming into her from behind with a smack of skin against skin, and it so was so wet where they were joined, he could hear his cock working in and out of her, soft moans spilling past her lips, while he grunted, sweat forming on his brow and down his spine.

If someone were to put their ear to the door, they'd know exactly what was going on—hell, there was a chance the rhythmic beat of his thrusts were echoing loud enough to be heard out in the hall. 

The thought that people knew what they were doing had pleasure slicing through him like a knife's edge, ramping up what was already building in his gut. 

"Touch yourself," he said through his teeth. "Play with your pussy." 

With how she was fluttering, he knew she was close. 

She didn’t acknowledge he said anything or did as he ordered, and it had pride swelling in his chest that he was fucking her so good, she was lost in the pleasure and probably couldn’t even think a coherent thought. 

The bathroom’s lighting wasn’t the brightest, but when he looked down, he could see his dick shining in her arousal as it disappeared into her sopping cunt, in and out, with a wet suck; her asscheeks were spread enough her puckered hole was in his line of sight, tempting him to slip in the tip of his thumb inside, but he knew that’d trip her up with how far gone she was, and he didn’t want to ruin her orgasm. 

He knew one thing he could do that’d get her attention and keep her going, though. 

There was a chance your legs were going to give out with how they were trembling; the tight walls of your pussy were hugging his cock that filled you perfectly, making you feel full, each thrust hitting that spot that had stars dancing behind your closed eyelids.

The way he was pounding into you made it to where you couldn't think, not with how pleasure was coiling in your belly and making your skin vibrate. 

A hand came down hard on the side of your ass, the sweet sting causing your cunt to clench, and you gasped out a moan, realizing he was trying to get your attention because he said something you missed. 

"What?" You asked roughly since you'd been doing everything in your power to hold back your noises, your nails digging into the skin of your knees. 

"Touch yourself," he gritted out, his pace not wavering. "Make yourself come." 

You slid a hand between your legs, going low enough to spread your fingers around where he was fucking into you, feeling how his cock was drenched in your juices and your pussy stretched around him. With your digits wet, you moved them to circle the swollen bud of your clit, and it had heat starting to tighten in your belly. 

Your mouth fell open at the combined sensations, all of it rocketing you toward your release, making it hard to keep quiet when it felt so fucking good—soft whimpers were leaving your mouth as you lost your mind. 

There was no way anyone outside the door didn't know what was going on in here, not with how the slap of his hips echoed in the small room and Javi grunted behind you—he probably didn't even realize how much noise he was making. 

His hands had a death grip on your waist as he pulled you back on his cock with each thrust, and it had him going so deep you were pretty sure if he went any deeper, he'd be in your stomach. Your eyes were rolled back, and you weren’t embarrassed to admit you were drooling a little. 

How did you end up bent over and getting fucked within an inch of your life in a bar bathroom?

This was something you’d wanted to happen for a long time, and even though Javi was generally adventurous and risky in terms of places he’d have sex, he had turned down all of the times you tried at the bar back home—the closest you got was him fingering you under the table while you sat beside each other in a booth, but that was it. 

The coil inside you was close to snapping with how tightly it was wound, and it didn’t take much to have you falling over the edge—there was the excitement of Javi railing your brains out in a semi-public location, the need to be quiet, your friends at the table oblivious to what you were doing, and the actual act itself; your fingers on your clit and his hard dick pistoning in and out of you that finally had you cresting. Your body tensed up tight as you came, and you must’ve made too much noise because Javi turned on the hand dryer with one hand and leaned over to cover your mouth with the other. 

Pleasure spread through your body and out to your limbs while air blew loudly. Javi pulled you up to lean back against his chest with your head on his shoulder, his lips kissing your neck while his mustache tickled you. 

"Good girl," he said against the shell of your ear. "Can I come?" 

His palm had moved off your face. "Yes." Your hand went behind you and into his sweaty, damp hair. "Use me—come inside me." 

What you didn’t expect was him pulling out of you—and you were only left to guess what he was doing for a second before he crouched behind you, roughly tugging down your jean shorts to your ankles, getting one of your shoed feet out of a leg. 

He groaned as he stood up, and you gasped in surprise when you found yourself getting pushed with your back against the wall and a man immediately in your space, pulling your leg up on his hip. Javi wasted no time to sheath himself back inside you, his mouth colliding with yours to muffle your moan; his fingers dug into your thigh, bracketing his waist, his free hand snaking its way up your shirt, pulling down your bra cup to massage your breast in his large palm. 

His rhythm was hard and fast, making your body jolt with every steady thrust, his breaths coming out labored, and your fingers in his hair. He was chasing his high, and you were happily going along for the ride. 

The dryer had stopped, and you pulled his head back to make him look at you, his eyes more black than brown, glazed over, and heavy-lidded, his lips slightly parted and glistening, sweat coating his brow, hair sticking wetly to his forehead. It was rude how he always looked so hot during sex—even when he was coming, especially when he was coming. 

“Come for me, Javi,” you said, pressing a hand to his cheek. “Fill me up, baby.”

“I will,” his voice was strained. “I said I was gonna keep you stuffed with my come today, and I am.” He was talking about your rendezvous at a hotel that morning when he promised to fuck you as many times as you’d let him to keep you full—this was number four. “I’m gonna fill you to the fucking brim, baby—fuck—” His eyes squeezed shut. “—we keep up like this, and you actually will be pregnant when we get married.” 

The thought thrilled you. You moved his head forward to your shoulder and got your lips close to his ear. You whispered, “You’d love that—me already being pregnant when you make me your wife. You want that, Javi?” you purred. “You gonna fuck a baby into me?” 

“Fuck,” he groaned, his strokes speeding up. His hand squeezed your breast. “I want you pregnant,” he grunted. “I wanna get you pregnant. I wanna see you pregnant with the bigger tits and the belly. You’re gonna look so fucking sexy.” His pace was getting jerky. “God, I love you. I love you so fucking much. You’re perfect. You’re amazing. You’re gonna be my wife.” He was rambling, so you knew he was close. “You’re gonna have my children. You love me.”  He sounded wrecked, pushing his face into your neck. “You love me.” The words were muffled and followed by a ragged moan as he pushed in all the way to the root and came, feeling his cock jerk hard and the warm, wet pulse as he filled your inner depths. 

His hot breaths were panting against your skin, and like always, you pressed your fingers into his hair, and he slumped into you. 

“There’s no falling asleep, mister,” you said. 

“‘M not, jus need a sec,” he mumbled. 

“Uh-huh, one sec, and next thing I know, you’re snoring.” 

He sighed. “It happ’n’d one time.” 

“That’s a damn dirty lie, and you know it.”

His head came up to look at you with a frown. 

“Don’t I deserve one minute to get my head straight after giving you some amazing dick?” 

“Of course, you deserve a minute—you deserve five minutes, but babe, we’re kinda, sorta, not really in a situation where we can lollygag and luxuriate in the post-sex goodness. Like, I would love to cuddle with you right now. There’s literally nothing more I want to do. However, we are in a bar bathroom with your dick inside me, and our friends are probably wondering where the fuck we are.” 

This sigh was long, and he visibly deflated. 

“I’m getting really fucking tired of not being able to fuck like we normally do,” he grumbled. 

You cupped his cheeks. “You’re spoiled rotten—we’re on a trip. What were you expecting?” 

“That we’d be able to fool around at night, but Steve decided to be a fucking prick and ruined the guest bed.” 

“We have our floor mattress.” 

He was pouting. “Can’t make too much noise.” 

“But isn’t that fun?” 

“The first time, yes.” 

“Spoiled. You’re gonna have to tell her.” 

He looked confused. “What?” 

“You’re gonna have to break it to Connie that next time we visit, we’re getting a hotel room because, one, we can’t go too long without fucking, and two, you’re accustomed to sex a certain way that when you don’t get it how you like it, you become a big ‘ol grouch.”

“I can’t do that to her. It’d upset her.” 

“Then you’re gonna have to get used to making compromises. We better clean up and get going.” You started to move, but he stopped you. 

“Wait.” 

“Yes?” 

His eyes went a little bigger. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

“I’m gonna say some sappy bullshit.” 

You giggled. “Thank you for the warning—go for it.” 

He smiled. “This is what I was thinking about when you told me not to fall asleep.” He pressed a hand over his heart. “Te pertenezco como la luna le pertenece a las estrellas—uno no existe sin el otro (I belong to you like the moon belongs to the stars—one does not exist without the other).” 

Oh, nutting put him in his feelings. He did get incredibly romantic after coming. It was probably allowing himself to be so vulnerable. 

“—Cuando estoy perdido y llega la oscuridad, tú eres mi estrella brillante que permanece a mi lado y me guía a casa (When I’m lost and the darkness comes, you are my shining star that stays by my side and guides me home). Te pertenezco (I belong to you). No soy nada sin ti (I am nothing without you). Estaría perdido en la oscuridad sin ti (I’d be lost in the dark without you). Tienes todo mi amor y devoción (You have all of my love and devotion). Haré cualquier cosa por ti (I will do anything for you). Y cuando tengamos hijos, también haré cualquier cosa por ellos porque tú eres mi vida (And when we have children, I will also do anything for them because you are my life). Te amo, mi Cielito (I love you, my Cielito). Gracias por amarme (Thank you for loving me).” 

And with that, he leaned in and kissed you, putting in all of that love and devotion he had for you, making you feel it with every press of his lips. 

Afterward, you quickly righted your clothes and cleaned up, forcing Javi to stare at the door as you peed and him not caring one single bit if you looked while he went—you didn’t. 

Once you both looked presentable, he took your hand and led you out of the bathroom, where there was a small line of people waiting to use the restrooms, who either glared or leered at you both as you walked by, which you tried to ignore. 

Back at the table, Steve and Connie looked very cozy on their side of the booth, with his arm around her shoulders and her tucked into his side as they laughed about something. Javi let you scoot into your seat first. 

“Hey, you’re back!” Connie said, and she looked like she was feeling good. 

“We are!” you replied. 

“Are you feeling better?” she asked. 

Javi was sitting close enough to you that you were touching, and he wrapped his arms around your middle, resting his head on your shoulder, or he was acting like a giant cat who wanted your attention. Your arm went across your body to play with his hair. 

It took you a second to answer Connie’s question because you didn’t know what she meant—you felt fantastic. 

“Oh!” It finally came to you, the whole altercation with that woman, and frankly, you didn’t care about it anymore. “I’m feeling much better, thank you,” you answered. 

“That’s good.” 

“Con,” Steve started, “tell them what happened.” 

“What happened?” you asked. 

Connie was clearly excited to tell you both the gossip. “So,” she said, leaning closer toward the table, “a little bit after y’all left, the blonde apparently had a death wish or was drunk as a skunk and was all over another woman’s man on the dance floor, which ended in a fight the blonde did not win and got her kicked out.” 

“It’s what she deserved.” 

“That’s not all—well, about the blonde, that’s all, but I have more to tell y’all.” 

“Okay.” 

“The other thing that happened was I went to go use the bathroom, and there was a couple fucking in the other one.” Your eyes widened, and Javi went still. “They were so loud,” she continued, “and really going at it—I don’t think they realized the music doesn’t make it down that hall and those bathrooms echo. We could just hear—” She clapped her hands to the same beat Javi was railing, and you cringed each time, wanting to crawl in a hole and die. Thankfully, she finally stopped. “—and grunting. I couldn’t make out if they were saying anything.” 

Thank god. 

“Wow,” you chuckled nervously. “That’s so embarrassing. Who does that? Who thinks it’s a good idea to fuck in a bar bathroom? I know, I wouldn’t—I’m a privacy of a bedroom kinda girl.” 

Steve’s eyes narrowed, and you knew you fucked up. 

“Javier Peña,” the other man hissed. “Are you fucking serious?” 

The man accused sat up, pressing fingers to his forehead. “We ran into the blonde at the back door, and my amazing future wife was on a fucking warpath, so I had to do something to get her mind off it.” 

“And that something was getting your dick wet in a public bathroom?”

Javi’s hand fell, and he glared at Steve. “What would you have done if it was Connie? Would you have let her fight a woman for you or done something you knew would make her forget, even if it was risky?”

Steve seemed to be thinking it over. 

“There was no way of getting her home?”

“Steve, I practically had to carry her into that bathroom with how she was screaming and trying to go after the other woman.” Heat was creeping up your neck in embarrassment. “I didn’t have much choice.”

“If it was a last resort, then yeah, I would’ve done the same.”

“That’s so romantic,” Connie said, and her husband looked at her with a smile. 

“You really think that’s romantic?” he asked. “I’d do anything for you, baby. Even if it’d send me to jail.”

Javi’s head turned, and so did yours to meet his eyes, the look on his face screaming, ‘Can you believe this fucking guy?’ 

The other couple were whispering amongst themselves. 

Your fiancé leaned in. “He’s judgemental one minute, then his wife thinks it’s cute, and suddenly he’s Mr. I’d-Do-It-For-You.”

“Javi?” You rubbed a hand over his shirt-covered chest.

“Yeah?”

“I know it’s annoying as fuck, but I want you to think about the fact we’ve probably had more sex in the last two days than they’ve had the entire year.”

He looked horrified, his head snapping in their direction. 

“Steve, Con,” he said, getting their attention. “We’re best friends. Be honest with me, with work and the kids, how many times have you fucked in the last year?”

The couple looked at each other and seemed to be counting in their heads. 

“I can only think of five times where we actually got through it uninterrupted,” Connie said. “Add maybe an extra two incompletes.”

“Yeah,” Steve confirmed. “I’m counting five, too.”

Javi checked his watch, then moved forward to get his wallet out of his back pocket. He opened it, pulling out two bills. 

“Merry Christmas,” he said, passing over a couple of hundred dollar bills. “Go rent a hotel room for the night and check out late. We’re gonna watch the kids until you’re back tomorrow.”

“You’re sweet, Jav,” Connie replied, “but we can’t—that’s too much.”

“Like hell, it’s too much,” Steve said, picking up the money. “We have to remodel because of this asshole, and I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth. Let’s go, honey—we’ve just been offered an opportunity that’s not gonna come back around until he visits again.” The blonde man was already out of his seat and holding his hand out to his wife. 

“Thank you, Javi,” Connie told him as she scooted out with her purse. “Thank you, both. This is really nice of you.”

“Yeah, thanks, Jav,” Steve added, grabbing his wife’s hand and practically dragging her from the booth with quick goodbyes. 

Your future husband looked at you with worry. “We’re gonna fuck more than five times a year after we have kids, right?”

“Oh, yeah. See, the difference between us and them is we’re opportunistic and will do it just about anywhere. It might not be as frequent as we currently are, but we’ll still fuck regularly—I promise.” 

He held up his pinkie. “Pinkie promise,” he said seriously. 

You giggled, wrapping your pinkie around his larger one. “I cannot believe you want me to pinkie promise about our sex life.”

His forehead pressed to yours, and your eyes closed. 

“It’s a big enough deal that it warrants a pinkie promise. I love sex, not just because of how good it feels, but also the intimacy—my favorite part is afterward when I get to hold you in my arms and cool down.” A wistful sigh left him. “I haven’t gotten a lot of chances to do that while we’ve been here, and I, uh, miss it.” He took a deep breath. “What I’m saying is, I love spending that time with you naked, and honestly, we don’t even have to fuck. So, I just want you to pinkie promise me that after we have kids, we’ll put aside time for us to keep going on dates and having sex when we have the chance and cuddling naked.”

“I pinkie promise to that, but, babe?”

He pulled back to meet your gaze. 

“Yeah?”

“You’re gonna have to get used to quickies and come to terms with the fact we’re gonna get interrupted.”

“It sounds like we’ll need a reliable babysitter, and it just so happens our children will have an abuelo living three minutes down the road who will happily watch them.”

“We better get a headstart on making up excuses for why we need to leave the kids with him for two to three hours.” 

“Eh—” He shrugged. “—Pop and mi mamá used to leave me with mis abuelos y tías (my grandparents and aunts) so they could have time alone—he’ll know exactly why he was watching our kids.” 

You smiled. “The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.” 

“Yeah, if things had gone differently, I probably would’ve had ten siblings.” 

“With your attitude toward Steve, who I consider your adopted brother, you’d be in hell with actual siblings. Well, your dad is getting the award for Father of the Year.” 

Javi grinned. “He gets that award every year.” 

“As he fucking should. Let’s get a plaque made to make it official. He’d get a kick out of it.” 

He had a thoughtful expression on his face, and it was like you could read his thoughts. 

You held his cheeks. “You’re gonna be an incredible father, Javi, and you’ll get a plaque, too—your dad will transition to Abuelo of the Year ‘cause, let's face it, he’s gonna be great at that, too.” 

“You’re sure?” 

“That you’ll be an incredible father? Oh, yeah. I’m positive. You’re gonna knock it out of the park! I’ve honestly already come to terms with the fact the tiny humans I will grow inside me and birth are going to love you more, and I’m not upset about it at all—you deserve it.” You stroked your fingers through his hair. “I promise you, Javi, you’re going to be an amazing dad, and our kids are going to be obsessed with you—I pinky promise you that.” You held up your little finger, and his eyes were misty as he looped yours with his. 

“I love you,” he said. 

“I love you, too.” 

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[holidaywishes]

I don't get you...

  Requested: 👍

  Summary/Request: Can I request just some like filthy smut with Fred? Maybe sugar daddy Freddie? But like there’s actual feelings involved and maybe the reader flirts with Auston and it makes him jealous then he tells them he loves them then fucks the living daylights out of them...or something along those lines

  Warning: smut as per request, some angst, a little bit of fluff

  Author’s Note: So, anon, I'm not sure this is exactly what you wanted. I went through a lot as I was writing this, so that's part of the reason why it took forever to get this out. But yeah, it started out as something short and filthy and then moved to something exceptionally long and fluffy and I nearly forgot that I was supposed to be writing smut. Also, I'm really in a ✨summer vibes✨ kind of mood lately and I really want to go to the beach but because I can’t until the borders open, I guess I’ll write about it. Hope this can give everyone a bit of a reprieve from everything for a little bit! Stay Golden, loves! <3

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

Freddie’s P.O.V

  You never expected her to agree to the arrangement, you didn’t think she was the type, but you weren’t looking for a relationship at the time. She told you she’d never had a sugar daddy before but she was happy to try it out

  “I’ve met people who’ve done it and they seem to be really happy,” she said

  “Well, yeah, I would think they would be,” you joked, “a little bit of money for a little bit of pleasure...”

  “That makes it sound like prostitution” she giggled and you nodded

  “It’s not, I didn’t mean it like that...”

  “I mean, it’s not far off, I suppose”

  “But you’re okay with it?”

  “I’m okay with it, but I’m curious,” she asked, “if you’re willing to spend money on me and fly me places and do literally everything a partner does... why not actually be partners?”

  “I just think we’re better off doing this”

  “I know,” she added, “but why?”

  “My life... is a lot for a relationship. I don’t want to put anyone in a position where the fans or the media can tear them down”

  “But you like me enough to do all the same stuff?”

  “Yeah, just... as a secret” you admitted shyly

  “Alright” she finally said, leaning in to plant a kiss on your cheek before your hands latched onto her sides to pull her closer and station her on your lap. “I have to go...” she whined and you groaned in response

“But you don’t” you laughed

“I have to do a presentation tomorrow that I have to work on”

“Skip it,” you mumbled, “you know that you don’t have to work”

“I still like to work”

“Just stay a little bit longer” you urged, kissing her neck and squeezing her hips tighter

“Freddie...” she moaned before you picked her up and carried her to your bedroom, dropping her onto the big mattress. She giggled as she bit her lip, waiting for you to lay your body against hers, “come here.”

xx

  The arrangement was simple. He wanted a warm body just not a relationship. You were in debt up to your eyeballs but you still had very, very expensive tastes and Freddie was all too eager to get you whatever you wanted. There was never any real talk about never developing feelings or what would happen if either of you eventually did but his lips fit so perfectly with yours and your bodies knew instinctively what to do for each other and the way his fingertips grazed the sensitive skin on the sides of your neck made your vision blurry and you weren’t sure how long you could keep this... simple. You were able to work enough that you were chipping away at your debt while Freddie indulged in your materialistic cravings. His gifts were relatively tame so far. Some jewellery, a few designer handbags, some very expensive lingerie, a pair of vintage Chanel stilettos that you almost never wore and when you asked why he didn’t get you Louboutin’s, he smirked and said ‘that’s what every other guy gets his girl. You deserve better than that.’ He really did know just how to say the right thing to make you feel important to him without fully taking that next step but when he started to offer bigger gifts, things started to feel different

  “You can’t buy me a car!”

  “Why not?”

  “I barely drive!”

  “Okay, what about a house?”

  “I’m sorry what?”

  “A house. I mean, not like a mansion but an apartment or like a cottage. By the lake...”

  “That’s too much” you scoffed, fluttering around your kitchen putting away dishes and wiping off the counter before your roommate could complain that the house was a mess

 “You shouldn’t have roommates. Not if you’re with me” he replied and you furrowed your brow before leaning on the cold granite of the counter

  “But I’m not with you...” you corrected, “not like that. How am I supposed to explain to people how I suddenly have enough money to have a cottage by the lake when I’m still paying off student loans and credit card debts?”

  “Tell them it was a super great deal!”

  “Because they’ll definitely believe that” you sighed, walking over to him and pecking his cheek before he followed you to the couch

  “Then say it was a gift”

  “From who? Who would gift something like that to someone? Am I supposed to tell people that you’re my sugar daddy now?” you teased

  “You could say you won the lottery,” he suggested but you ignored it, instead turning toward the TV and switching it on, “I mean that happens right?”

  “Freddie... it’s sweet but it’s way too much” you repeated softly and he dropped it

  “Come hang out with me this summer. I have a place right on the water, it’s beautiful there”

  “Where?” you asked curiously

  “Muskoka”

  “You wanna take me to Muskoka?”

  “It’s romantic there,” he added, creeping over to kiss your shoulder before his body hovered over yours and his lips slowly connected with yours, “and it’s private, too. We don’t have to worry about people interrupting us”

  “People don’t interrupt us he--”

  “(Y/N)!” your roommate yelled, interrupting your moment with Freddie and completely destroying your words even before she came down the stairs, Freddie putting as much space in between the two of you as to not give anything away. “Hey, where is.. oh sorry, I didn’t realize we had company”

  “Stacey, this is Freddie,” you smiled awkwardly, hoping your face wasn’t too flushed, “Freddie, this is my roommate, Stacey.”

  “Nice to meet you” Freddie greeted politely

  “Yeah, you too” Stacey replied, almost suspiciously and you scoffed

  “So what were you looking for?”

  “Huh?” she was clearly lost in thought now, “oh right! That big bag of sunscreen, where did it go? I thought it was in the closet in the bathroom but I didn’t see it. Did you move it?”

  “I did,” you admitted, smiling as you stood up, walking to the bathroom upstairs to show her, “it was just taking up so much space so I took them out of the bag and put them under the sink separately”

  “Ahh, okay. Thanks”

  “No problem,” you said, turning to walk downstairs

  “Wait!” she exclaimed, stopping you, “who is that?”

  “Freddie?”

  “Yeah, I mean... are you two dating? Why have I never met him before?” she rambled before her eyes went wide and panic rushed through your chest, “is this a first date?” you exhaled in relief, laughing in response

  “No, it’s not a date. First or otherwise. He’s just a friend, I met him at a work party last year”

  “Oh, right...” you could tell she didn’t believe you but you weren’t going to try to argue, fearing if you did that you might let the truth slip. She finally let you head back downstairs but before you reached the bottom, your phone chimed

  “Had to go” Freddie’s text read and you sighed before dropping your head

  “You didn’t have to...” you replied

  “I did but the offer still stands. You, me, the lake, Muskoka. Come”

  “I’ll think about it.”

xx

Freddie’s P.O.V

  After weeks of constant begging, (Y/N) agreed to go to the cottage with you over the summer and it was perfect. You almost never left the bedroom and when you did, it was to take a drive into the city to get a few groceries and then you’d lock yourself back in the house, drawing the curtains to block out the light. After that, she asked to go back the next summer and you were more than happy to oblige

  “You liked it huh?” you teased as the two of you lay in bed

  “I had a lot of fun,” she smirked, lifting your hand up so she could trace her finger along your palm mindlessly, “pretending like the world didn’t exist”

  “You sure you don’t want me to just.. get you your own?”

  “No,” she scoffed, “I like yours. As yours, don’t think about giving it to me”

  “Fine” you laughed at her figuring you out before you could even get your suggestion out.

  “Fine” she mocked, rolling over to kiss your cheek and lay on your chest, tracing her fingers across your skin

  “God you’re beautiful” you exhaled as you brushed her hair away from her face

  “YO ‘ZILLA!” you heard Auston yell as he crashed through your front door

  “Shit!” you panicked

  “What is he doing here?” she asked in a hushed voice

  “I don’t know, I thought he was gonna be playing golf all afternoon”

  “FREDDIE?” Auston yelled again

  “Just get dressed, I’ll go talk to him”

  “Okay” she laughed

  “Yo, Tony, what are you doing here?”

  “Hey!” He exclaimed, “I came to hang out with you... am I bothering you?”

  “No of course not. I just thought you’d be at the course for most of the day...”

  “Yeah.. it wasn’t all that exciting today. What have you—”

  “So I think that Shelley was right!” (Y/N) yelled as she came down the stairs, interrupting Auston with some lie that you couldn’t even follow. “I think we did do an event down the street,” you smirked, watching her eye-line go past you and to Auston, “oh, hi...”

  “Hi...” he hesitated

  “I’m (Y/N)”

  “Auston. It’s nice to meet you” he greeted and you watched as the two of them stared at each other

  “Matts, (Y/N) is a friend of a friend and she wanted to see a vantage point... from upstairs”

  “Not a vantage point. See, I work at an event planning company, I’m an intern but I help with a lot of events and one of them was an MLSE fundraiser and, Shelley, my friend that’s also Freddie’s friend,” she rambled and you had to stop yourself from laughing, “she said that Fred’s apartment was nearby but I didn’t believe it...”

  “Right,” he smirked, “well, now you know right?”

  “Right,” she smiled brightly, “but hey. I should go, I have stuff but thanks, Fred, for letting me look. It was nice to meet you, Auston.”

  “Yeah.. nice to meet you, too. Maybe I’ll see you again?”

  “Now now,” you intervened, “no flirting”

  “Bye Freddie” she chuckled before walking out the door.

  “She’s cute,” Auston said to you and you could sense that he was trying to get more information, “young for you though huh?”

  “We’re not dating” you tried

  “So she really was just here to scope out the view?” he teased

  “I guess so” you tried, making your way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water

  “You wouldn’t mind, then, if I asked her out?” he asked, forcing you to sigh at his incessant attempts not to drop the subject

  “No, go for it...”

  “I will” he smirked and that was the end of the conversation. You found out a few days later that he had actually asked (Y/N) out for dinner but she told him she had to think about it

  “What am I supposed to say, Freddie?” she asked, following you around your apartment, her annoyance apparent as she waited for an answer

  “You should say yes” you replied

  “Is that what you want?”

  “I mean you said it yourself, we’re not together. We’re not dating, we just sleep together every once in a while and I buy you stuff. I don’t care who you date...”

  “It’s not tha..” she stammered, shaking her head hastily, “it’s a little more complicated than just me dating someone else. This isn’t just some guy you’ve never met before who wants to take me out on a date. This is your teammate, your friend. He has a key to your apartment. You watch his dog... so it’s not as simple as what you think it is”

  “I’m fine with it. We’ll still do what we do, if you want, and Auston doesn’t have to find out” you added, sitting down at the kitchen island, fidgeting with your water bottle

  “And what if he does?”

  “He won’t”

  “You really want me to say yes?”

  “If you say no, he’s going to think something is going on with us,” you admitted, “if you say yes, he won’t. Simple”

  “That’s all this is?” she sneered, “I’m surprised you haven’t told him already. It’s not something that you’re ashamed of. Unless... are you ashamed of me?”

  “No” you replied. She sat down slowly in the seat across from you and dropped her head to her hands before exhaling

  “Fine,” you groaned, “I’ll say yes.”

xx

  It was the last thing you really wanted to do but Freddie seemed intent on you going on a date with Auston. It wasn’t awful but it didn’t feel right but the two of you stayed in touch, which created its own issues between you and Freddie, just like you knew it would. After nearly a year, you had grown a lot closer with Freddie’s teammates than you thought you would and you were starting to feel like part of the group, whether or not that was a good thing remained to be seen. It did allow you to spend time with Freddie outside of the bedroom but it led to questions about why you never carried a wallet or offered to pay for meals

  “I’m all for chivalry,” Morgan chuckled, taking a sip of his drink as the server took everyone’s plates away, “but you can clearly afford to foot the bill every here and there. I’ve seen all these fancy things before, I’ve bought a few of ‘em for Tessa, so...”

  “This stuff...” you stalled, gesturing to your purse and your clothes, “they’re all gifts”

  “Some friends who get you those gifts” Auston laughed

  “Who said they’re from friends? What about family?”

  “Or a boyfriend?” he teased, your eyes darting to Freddie quickly to gauge his reaction; nothing, completely stoic

  “No boyfriend. I’m not much for the ‘shower me with gifts’ kind of relationship” this comment earned a round of scoffs from the boys in front of you and you just rolled your eyes in return. Freddie offered you a ride home which you took gladly because you wanted to see where his head was at

  “So...” you started before Freddie huffed

  “The guys are coming out to the lake next week. You’re welcome to come but it won’t be like last year”

  “Are you mad at me?” you asked, turning your body to face him

  “No, why would I be mad?” he chided, keeping his eyes on the road

  “I don’t know,” you replied, turning back to face the road yourself, “but I’m glad you’re not mad. I love the lake so I’m happy to go, even if it won’t be like last year...”

  “Great” he sighed

  “Perfect” you replied, pursing your lips as the rest of the drive was spent in silence. He drove into the underground parking lot, turning off the ignition before looking at you

  “They really like you” he said and you furrowed your brow

  “Yeah... I’m likeable” you joked

  “It’s good,” he said, “but maybe after the lake, you should keep your distance”

  “What?” you scoffed as Freddie opened the door and made his way to open your door, leaning his hands against the side of the car and caging you in lightly

  “Or we need to end this arrangement”

  “So, it’s an ultimatum? You or them?” he nodded, sliding his arm under your legs to pick you up and carry you upstairs. It was a strange request but you could barely concentrate on your thoughts with the way his hands began roaming your body once he set you down. After the week had passed, and you managed to patch up things with Freddie, you were on your way back to the place where you had come to know as if it were your own. You wondered how different things would feel there, with ‘the boys’ being there, and if Freddie would keep his distance from you or if the tension would be too much to bear.

xx

Auston’s P.O.V

  You spent most of your time in the water, or watching (Y/N), while everyone else seemed to find other things to occupy their time. You couldn’t believe that (Y/N) hadn’t pursued more of a relationship with you, especially when you thought the date went really well; you decided to make it your mission to get her to fall in love with you or find out if there was something else going on.

  "So..." you grunted, taking a seat next to (Y/N), "how are you liking the cottage?"

  "It's beautiful out here" she answered with a smile

  "Isn't it though?" you said

  "Are you mocking me?" she laughed

 "I would never"

  "You're still mad that I didn't want to date you, aren't you?" she asked, taking you a bit by surprise and you weren't really sure how honest you should be

  "Why didn't you want to date me?" you said curiously, "I mean the date that we went on was good, wasn't it?"

  "It was fine, yeah," she replied, unimpressed as she seemed to remember the date in her mind, "I just have a bit of a complicated situation going and I didn't feel like adding more to that. But, I'm sorry, that wasn't fair to you"

  "Oh," you really were hoping that she would've made some joke about it all instead of... actually telling you the truth, but here you were. "Thank you..." you hesitated before chuckling, "I'm over it anyway. Let's just enjoy the summer, okay?"

  "Yeah" she grinned. As the night drew on, Freddie got the barbeque ready while setting out snacks as Mo, Mitch and Cogs grabbed a seat around the fire.

  “HEY! YOU TWO, COME HANG OUT BY THE FIRE!” Fred yelled to you and (Y/N) as the two of you stayed on the dock

  "I wanna go in the water!" she yelled

  "YEAH ME TOO!" you chuckled in return, seeing Freddie's distaste from where you stood before (Y/N) slipped by you and ran into the lake

  "HOLY SHIT IT'S COLD!" she screamed, her body already shivering from just a few inches of water crashing against the bare skin of her legs

  "What did you expect?" you scoffed, wading the water as you neared her, lowering your body so the water covered your chest

  "I don't know.." she hesitated, trying her best to maintain the composure of her voice before her shivers took over, "I just didn't expect it to be that cold..."

  "Well now you know" you smirked, catching her stare just as your body reached her space, letting your frame hover over hers as the two of you stood in the cold water; the waves splashing against your hips and trying their best to drag both of you into the current.

  "Right" she whispered, unable to tear her eyes from yours

  "Right" you returned, squatting down in front of her, your lips grazing her chest while your gaze stayed trained on her. You could feel her breathing build in her chest as your fingers traced her skin before you picked her up and she squealed

  "STOP!" she laughed as you threw her over your shoulder

  "What? I'm not doing anything!" you joked. She started to squirm in your grasp before eventually straightening her body which, luckily for you, meant that your face met her chest; you felt her hands rest gently on her shoulders as you shamelessly stared at her breasts before looking back up at her

  "Don't do it" she breathed

  "Do what?" you replied quietly

  "I know what you're thinking" she said and you smirked

  "No, no I don't think you do"

  "Don't do it Auston..." she repeated

  "You need to get used to the temperature," you replied, a grin growing on your face, "and the best way to do that is just to do it..."

  "You throw me in and I'll take you down with me" she threatened but you weren't going to listen. You stopped only for a second when you heard Freddie call to the two of you and you turned around to see him on the shore. You grinned before turning back, throwing (Y/N) in the water before feeling the tug on the back of your neck; both of you crashing into the water. When you finally came to the surface, you splashed water at her which she reciprocated before looking over at Freddie, "we should probably head in."

xx

Freddie's P.O.V

  You watched as the two of them held onto each other in the water, not able to discern their emotions from the distance you were at, but you didn’t like it. You called them in one more time before Auston tossed (Y/N) into the water and they began splashing water at each other. She looked back at you before wiping the water from her eyes and saying something to Auston, the two of them making their way back to shore.

  “Hey,” Auston said breathlessly as he walked past you

  “Finally had enough of the water huh?” you teased to which Auston just smirked, looking back at (Y/N) then back at you

  “Hi” (Y/N) said when she got close to you but your irritation from what you’d witnessed caused you to all but ignore her as you turned to walk back to the fire. The six of you sat around the fire, drinking, laughing and telling stories while you felt (Y/N)’s eyes on you, begging you to look at her without having to say the words

  “Well,” she sighed when you kept your eyes away from hers, “I’m exhausted from all that fun in the water. I’ll see you all in the morning” she laughed, Morgan and Andrew standing up to showcase their chivalry

  “Have a good sleep” Andrew smiled as (Y/N) made her way back inside. You weren’t sure how long you should wait to talk to her but you knew it couldn’t be too much longer

  “I’m gonna get some sleep as well” you said, finishing your drink as you stood up

  “Oh yeah, sure...” Cogs teased and you rolled your eyes at the tone

  “Goodnight. Please don’t destroy the deck” you said, making your way inside and turning down the hall toward (Y/N)’s room, letting yourself in

  “Hey!” she exclaimed, irritated that you didn’t knock, “what are you doing?”

  “I came to talk to you”

  “Oh really? You’ve sure done a great job of ignoring me all night. What do you have to say now?”

  “You can’t act like that,” you said under your breath, referring to how she was with Auston

  “Act like what?!” she argued, raising her voice as she stepped toward you

  “Like that!” you repeated, gesturing to the lake, trying your best to keep your voice low. “Throwing yourself all over Auston like that. Half naked and soaking wet no less”

  “Oh my god,” she scoffed, “you’re jealous”

  “Jealous?” you huffed at the suggestion

  “Yes. I have no idea why you would be but it sounds an awful lot like jealousy how you’re talking to me right now” she urged, anger covering her face

  “What if I was jealous?”

  “Why would you be jealous?”

  “BECAUSE I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!”

  “What?” she whispered, stumbling back

  “I love you,” you said calmly, vulnerably, as you studied her expression

  “You don’t love me, you’re not in love with me” she argued, shaking her head in disbelief

  “I do!”

  “YOU DON’T!” she yelled, “YOU— I— ugh” she groaned

  “What?”

  “I don’t get you,” she sighed, “one second you say you don’t want a relationship and you want to be my ‘sugar daddy’ then the next you say you’re in love with me? Which is it?”

  “Both”

  “Both?” you could feel the disgust in her words but it almost made you laugh

  “Yeah, both,” you countered, “I didn’t set out to fall in love and get into a relationship, especially when I met you,” you noticed her mouth drop, realizing you had to backtrack. “I wanted to protect you from my life but I liked being around you. And the sex was amazing”

  “So all you wanted was sex”

  “Maybe that’s where it started,” you admitted, “but somewhere along the way I fell in love with you and I realized I would still be paying for everything either way but this way I’d get you all to myself”

  “Oh so now it’s about possession?” she growled and you rolled your eyes

  “I’m not trying to possess you,” you groaned, “I just wanna be with you because I love you. I have no idea why because you’re impossible to deal with and you test me every god damn second like I’m still in school but I can’t help it” you bit your bottom lip as you thought about tearing off her clothes, taking a step closer to where she stood. “I see you and you make everything... different. My heart races and I blush and I sweat and I just want to be around you. All the time. It’s infuriating. But I love you and I think I have since the beginning” she stood silently in front of you before you boxed her in with your arms, letting her eyes linger up your chest until they found yours, placing your hands on her hips to bring her even closer to you

  “Show me,” she said softly, watching your lips. You let your fingers slide up her body until they reached her neck, cupping her face as you kissed her softly. Her body moving closer to yours, forcing your feet to move backward until you felt the bed behind you, stopping only for a minute to pick her up

  “I love you” you repeated and, as if something possessed her, she bit her lip and pushed you onto the mattress

  “I want you to fuck me”

  “You’re n—”

  “Fuck. Me” she interrupted, moving across your body to straddle your lap. You honestly thought she’d say it back and it was throwing you off that she wasn’t. “What’s wrong?” she groaned when she finally realized that you weren’t exactly following through

  “I can’t do this” you sighed, pushing her off of you to walk across the room, dropping your head in your hand

  “What?” she scoffed

  “I...”

  “Should I go ask Auston? I bet he’d be more than happy to fuck me” she teased, smirking when she saw the glare on your face. You promptly made your way back to her, harshly grabbing her hips and turning her around where she stood; moving your hands up her body to clear her hair from her neck to bite at the sensitive skin between her neck and her shoulder. You felt her hips push back into yours and you grinned at her sudden neediness

  "Is this what you want?" you whispered

  "I told you. I want you to fuck me" she breathed, placing her hand on yours to guide it onto her breast and she leaned against your chest, continuing to back her ass against your growing erection. You pushed your hands into the waistband of her shorts and underwear, tearing them off her body, kissing up her legs and removing her shirt before forcing her to lean against the bed, keeping her back straight. “Freddie...” she whimpered when you stepped back, making sure not to touch her just yet

  “Shh,” you hushed before pushing your shorts off to expose your hardened cock. You ran your finger down her spine until you felt her shiver underneath your touch, holding yourself in your free hand before you began running the tip along her folds; letting her moan fill the room before you pushed yourself into her entrance. "Shhh," you repeated as her sounds started to get louder, "you don't want everyone to hear, do you?" she let out another moan before she nodded her head, looking at you over her shoulder and smirking as she watched you fuck her. She rocked back into you, sending vibrations through your body and encouraging you to dig your nails into her hips, fucking her harder. You moaned lowly as your pleasure began to increase, slapping her ass to give her the playful punishment you thought she deserved for teasing you earlier

  "Fuck" she shouted breathlessly, earning a growl from you as you tried to fuck her into silence. You weren't surprised when her panting filled the room and she brought her body up so she could lean against your chest. "Fuck" she repeated, quieter this time, as your fingers lingered to her core, pressing on her sensitive bud as your thrusts became stutters and grunts continuously left your lips. You came, messily, inside her but kept your fingers moving against her clit as you took yourself out of her, kneeling down in time to find your juices leaking down her leg; snaking your head between her legs to lick up the liquid teasingly. "You need to cum, don't you?" you baited, your finger poking inside and curving to find her g-spot while you gently swept the tip of your tongue across her clit

  "Fuck, yes," she panted, "faster baby. Make me cum" you smirked at her pleas. You quickened your ministrations until her legs shook and she was unable to stand, falling to her knees while a sigh exited her mouth. Her hand lazily rested on your chest as she attempted to compose herself and you could only chuckle

  "Oh we're not done yet"

  "What?" she gulped, eyebrows raising in surprise

  "Oh no no no no," you laughed, "you wanted me to fuck you. I'm gonna fuck you senseless. Until you can't speak without feeling me inside you. Until you see my face with every breath you take. Until you feel the heat from my body against yours just by walking across the room. Until you need to beg for mercy at any given second because I'm still making you cum."

  "T--" she hesitated, pushing herself up as best she could while still not being able to use her legs, "that sounds good to me"

  "You sure you can handle it?" you asked

  "From you?" she replied, raising her hand to stroke your cheek, "any day. All-day"

  "I do love you" you admitted once more, hoping she'd say it back but helping her up gently so you could continue to fuck her, as you promised you would

  "I love you, too" she confessed and you kissed her quickly, lifting her up and carrying her to the bed. It was at that moment, when you saw her smiling underneath you, that you didn't care if the guys heard the two of you. She was yours and you were hers. You had her and she had you. Nothing could ruin that.

[jadedsnowtiger]

Garfield looked over his list, as he smiled to his girlfriend.getting her out of the house had been hard, but with help of his puppy eyes. He and Rachel now sat on the beach as Gar smiled .

Goths hide from sun light- Hench why he brought a tent to the beach, later enough in the day the sun wasn't the brightest.

Pale girls require a lot of sunscreen- she was planted in it, hiding under a wide brim hat.

She wore fishnets under her swimdress- she was comfortable in her own skin.

Water? She had her water bottle beside her.

Goths love shiny things. Plenty of that for both of them to find along the beach

Gar was happy, Rachel seemed relaxed watching the waves roll in.

"See, it's not so bad?" Gar smiled gently, taking her hand and her attention.

Rachel tried to smile, but it didn't met her eyes. She was going through something in her head, and had become withdrawn over the past few days. Taking her to the beach was an excuse to get out of her dark bedroom, hoping the sunlight would help.

"I know, you're trying." Gar smiled to her, "That's all I asked, Cliff says a change would be helpful."

"It's nice." Rachel agreed, the air was freah.

"And when the sun sets more, we can go treasure hunting for rocks." Gar explained,

"It sounds childish." Rachel whispered.

"No, everyone collects rocks." Gar smiled at her, "Not many people take them home and study them."

Rachel smiled softly, as she blushed.

"Besides, Beast loves it when you show him dry wood." Gar reminded her.

"He chews it up!" Rachel laughed back softly. "Even the little ones."

"He has an issue with sticks." Gar seemed to agree, even his Tiger form would chew on sticks. "It's good to see you smile."

Rachel blushed looking away.

"No, Mama." Gar pulled her face back softly. "Show the world your smile."

Rachel blushed in his hand.

"Talk to me, Mama?" Gar asked gently, hoping she would open up. "What's hurt your heart?"

Rachel looked away, frowning as she shook her head.

"I can't help you, when you lock it all inside, baby." Gar brushed the hair from her face softly.

"I read something and it's bothered me." She told him softly

"What did you read?"

"Am I a fetish?" She whispered softly.

Fuck.

Gar shook his head sadly, "Not for me."

Rachel looked at him, as she bit her lip.

"We are Heros baby, and you're barely legal." Gar shook his head, he wasn't going to lie to her. Rachel needed the truth, not lies. "Men are weak and stupid."

Rachel looked away, wiping her eyes.

"You're not the only one." Gar told her gently. "Kori gets it too- people wanna know what it's like to bed an Alien."

Rachel sniffed as Gar moved closer pulling her into his arms.

"People often want to know what it's like to bed a beast." He told her softly. "I hate being seen like that, but then I see you. You see me in return."

Rachel tried to smile.

"Whatever they say, it's not true." He was gently rubbing her back. "I am not a beast in bed- I think, I prefer the way we cuddle. The laughs you freely give when we are alone, that's enough. You are enough."

Rachel nodded, as he watched over her.

"I don't want you because your magical, I want you because ..well,." Gar smiled softly. "You aren't scared to put me in my place. You don't fear telling someone off, when they are wrong. I want you because when you smile, my heart stops."

Rachel blushed.

"Like that" Gar kssed her forehead. "You put up with me."

"No, I don't " She shook her head. "You make me blush, none does that."

Gar laughed gently, Rachel might be bad with explaining her feeling, but she tried.

"None is willing to bring me tea at 4 am becusee of a nightmare." She blushed softly.

"See." Gar told her softly. "We are magical together, you take care of me, and I watch over you."

Rachel nodded.

"What eles baby?" Gar asked, as he watched her play with her nails, taking her hand back before she could peel off the fake ones out of nerves.

"Fetish is sexual." She started slowly.

"Yes." Gar nodded, as she watched the waves again. "If you're not into that, your not. You can't force yourself, Rachel. You are enough."

"Even if it never happens?" She asked softly, in fear.

"Then it never happens." Gar promised, taking her hand. "There are other ways to take care of myself, don't worry about it."

Rachel shook her head. "It sounds so heartless."

"You are anything, but heartless." Gar spoke softly. "I would never force it, I enjoy being with you, Rachel- for you. Your mind, your heart, that soul you carry."

"Is it enough?" She asked softly.

"Am I?" Gar asked back, as she turned to him. "Baby, we all worry, it's human."

Rachel smiled gently.

"That's why we talk about our feelings and emotions, to help you understand them." Gar smiled softly, "Our sex, is raw communication."

Rachel blushed.

"Think about it: we are alone, you're smiling. What more could we want?" Gar asked softly, kissing her head. "You and I will never be the romantic couple- that's Dicks and Kori's job, we are the couple lost in paradise."

"You call this paradise?" Rachel turned to him with a smile.

"With you? Yes."

[miss-dr-reid]

This is calm, and it's, Doctor #8

Warning: some domestic abuse, but nothing gory

On the drive home, my head was filled with memories of yesterday. How cute Spencer was when all he wanted to do was win a game of chess. Pretty much passing out on his lounge while waiting for dinner. Dancing the night away and waking up surrounded by fuzzy, cuddly, Spencer blanket. My heart beat hard, my head filled with joy.

Does Spencer feel this way about me? There's no reason he would. We barely know each other.

I arrived home and jumped straight in the shower. Washing my hair felt so good, I stood there, massaging for a while, relieving my head of the stress from the last week. I scrubbed my body and shaved everything baby smooth.

Stepping out of the shower, I reached for a towel from the rack, grabbed it and patted myself dry. I wrapped it around myself and looked in the mirror, memories of the first night I spent with a guy after leaving my ex.

~ I had arrived home and was finishing up having a shower, I reached for the towel rack, only looking when I couldn't feel one. When I looked, I was surprised to see my ex sitting on the toilet. A look of anger on his face...

"Have a good night?" he retorted.

"Doesn't matter to you, but it was great." I retaliated, hating that he made it in to my house without my knowing.

"As if. No one can make you feel the way that I can. I make you feel so good, baby, don't I?" He said, getting up off the toilet seat, coming toward me, one hand hiding behind his back.

"Fuck off. I don't want you anymore. I already told you." I said, backing up, ripping a folded towel off the counter behind me, "You need to leave, right now." Even though my voice was stern, he was still coming for me.

I didn't want to fight, so I ran, he tried to grab me on my way past, but I was still wet, so I slipped out of his grip. I ran straight for the front door, flinging it open and banging on my neighbours door. She didn't hesitate to open it, seeing me on the other side. I shoved my way in and she locked the door.

We moved away from the door, to her room and she grabbed me a spare shirt, I dropped the towel to put it on and was shocked to see red all over the towel where my hand had been pressed to my chest. I looked up at her who noticed it as well. She was on the phone to emergency serviced and asked for an ambulance to be added to the people on dispatch.

I didn't even realise he had got me as I pushed past him. the adrenaline was pumping through my body. I picked the towel back up and pressed it to myself once again. Waiting. He was banging on the door, demanding to be let in. He left soon after, knowing how this would end if he didn't.

The police arrived after what seemed like forever, followed by the EMT's. They were let into the apartment and the EMT suggested I go to hospital. I opted to get myself there after they deemed that the cut was not bad enough to need emergency surgery. I gave my statement to the police and thanked my neighbour for letting me in to her place so quick. ~

That was the last time I saw him. I moved out 2 weeks after that, changed jobs and finished studying. I looked at myself in the mirror, lowering the towel, lowering the towel, revealing the scar I still have on the outside of my breast, right where it meets my chest.

I covered up and went to my room, deciding what to wear.

'Something nice, but casual enough to walk places.' I tho9ught to myself. I landed on a semi-fitted sun dress and my favourite lime-green bikini. I wore some flats that I was easily able to slip on and off. I threw my hair into a messy bun and decided it was good enough.

I grabbed a few things, like sunscreen and a towel and popped them into a beach bag that I had stored away. I was ready to go. I checked my watch 11:15. Taking one last look around the place, I took my stuff and left. On the drive, I couldn't help but drive past Spencer's place, just for fun, and only 2 minutes later, I arrived at the cafe where I had met the boys for the first time.

The clock on my dash read 11:37, plenty of time to sit and wait before the boys would be here. I closed my eyes and rested my head back on the head rest. My mind wondering back to last night, wish that Spencer would think of me the same way I think of him. Maybe I'm just being desperate, but thinking about Spencer causes me to smile, every single time. I can't help it.

The loud knock on my window cause me to jolt from my thoughts. I looked out the window, seeing Morgan's face on the other side as his hand reached for the handle. Once the door was open, I climbed out and locked the car. Derek hugged me, which I returned, squeezing him slightly, he smelt good. We let go of the embrace, stepping back from each other, he looked me up and down.

"Looking good, mama." He says with a wink.

"Ha, you too." I winked back, "I thought you only had eyes for Garcia."

We stood there laughing for a bit, until I saw Spencer come around the corner, his face buried in a book, he was only ever looking away from it to see if there was an obstacle in his path.

"Ah, pretty boy." Morgan said, turning to look at him. Spencer's face still glued to the book, he didn't look up until he was inside. Derek decided it would be a good idea to sneak up on him and we entered the cafe behind him and stood there watching. He looked around to try and find Derek and I, to no avail. He pulled out his phone and started dialing. Derek and I giggled to ourselves, but Spencer wasn't paying attention as he was listening to the ringing on his phone. As Derek's phone rang, he didn't even reach for it, instead watching Spencer as he spun around to see us right behind him, all of us giggling.

We greeted each other, and Spencer walked toward me, his arms going outward as if coming in for a hug. I gave him a puzzled look, and accepted his embrace. The familiar smell of his cologne filling my nose, I took in a deep breath before releasing him.

Morgan bro-hugged him and we all laughed at how silly everything had just been.

"Let's grab lunch!" I exclaimed, I was starving.

We sat around a table, our chairs evenly spaced apart. The guys picked up menus, but I already knew what I wanted. After deciding, Derek and Spencer got up to order, insisting on covering my lunch. They came back and Derek decided small talk would be a good idea.

"So, Y/N," he smirked, "Is there anyone special in your life?" his eyebrows wiggling.

"Yes and No." I started, staring him in the eyes, not sure how to proceed, "I met this guy recently, I think he's great. I'm not sure if he's interested in me though. I'm also not sure if I should ask him how he feels. I mean, we only met not that long ago, so it might be too soon, you see..." I trailed off, rubbing my thumbs together, avoiding even a glance in Spencer's direction, so as though to not give anything away.

"Non sense!" Derek remarked, "If you feel a certain way about someone, you gotta tell them, babygirl. So, who is he?"

"Oh, it doesn't matter, you don't know him." I replied, trying to brush him off, but he wouldn't have it, and insisted I give him the identity of the 'mysterious guy' that I was keeping secret from him.

I remembered back to the car ride with Emily, all the little things she told me about Spencer.

"Walter..." I trailed off, smirking at myself a little, "He's cute and tall and quite smart." I could go on about all the little things I found adorable and attractive about Spence, but if I made the list too specific, Derek would piece it together too easily.

Spencer's ears perked at the name, and he looked at me with a puzzled looked, and I couldn't help the small smile that came across my face. Derek was still trying to figure out who 'Walter' was.

Derek noticed us looking at each other, looked between us, his eyes narrowing as he examined my face. His concentration broken by our food being put on the table in front of us. We all thanked the waitress and started eating. I had a chicken salad wrap, Spencer had a cheese ham and tomato toastie, while Derek had a burger. We all ate, barely saying a word, enjoying our meals.

I was the first to finish, Spencer was done soon after. We started talking about work things. We started picking on Derek who was having trouble defending himself as he tried to finish his food quickly.

"At least I don't hide behind books to avoid my feelings." Derek spat back at Spence, who just shrugged his shoulders. "And how about you, miss Perfect? Sucking up to Hotch and showing off in front of everyone on your first day, making us all look bad! You can't fool anyone with your goody-two-shoes act!" he finished by taking a sip of his drink.

I clasped a hand to my chest in fake offence, "Oh no! ME make the fantastic Mr. Morgan look bad?! how could I? His beautiful physique and wonderful words which help him pull all the ladies, tarnished! what ever will he do?" I stopped when I noticed Spencer silently giggling to himself at the sight before him. I couldn't let him get out of this. "Oh no no, Doctor. You're not getting out of this that easily. Your big brilliant brain is beautiful, but you need to work on understanding innuendos. The amount of things that have been said to and around you, that go straight over your head, we need to get you cultured."

He was confused. He didn't understand why he needed to understand jokes, why it mattered so much, and really, it doesn't. He's perfect in my eyes.

We sat there talking for a bit more until Derek decided it was time to go. We got up, left a tip on the table and headed out. We walked to y car and leaned on it, Spencer choosing to stand.

"What now?" I asked.

"The beach." Derek answered, "Don't worry pretty by, we'll find somewhere with shade so you can sit and read." Spencer's expression calmed at the sound of not being forced to swim.

We decided to go in one car. My car was elected because it was closest. I climbed in to the drivers seat, Derek in the passenger and Spence, in the back.

On the car ride, I changed through radio stations, trying to find music. Derek was confused by it, but Spencer knew what was happening. With the back coming along the corner, we all kept our eyes peeled for a parking spot.

I saw a spot, near a decent sized tree, which had a bench in the shade underneath it. Perfect. I pulled into the spot and we all climbed out. Derek and I, grabbing our beach bags and Spencer with his satchel that he has with him literally everywhere he goes.

The three of us walked single-file, me leading, to the bench. Spencer quite happily sat and pulled out his book while Derek and I set down our bags. I took a moment to take in the scene. Closing my eyes, I listened to the water, the crashing of the waves, so welcoming and calming. The smell of the ocean was so refreshing, the scent filling my lungs with every breath.

Opening my eyes, I saw Morgan had started removing layers until he was just in his swim trunks. I followed his lead, undressing down to my bikini. My skin looked so pasty compared to his caramel skin.

I grabbed the sunscreen from my bag, and started on my arms, chest, legs but of course, I can't each my call back properly. I looked over at Derek, with almost output dog eyes and he held out his hand. I have him the tube and turned around.

"You know, Walter should be going this guy you.." his suggestive tone caused heat to rush to my face as my eyes lifted to look at Spencer, who's eyes were glued to the pages of his book.

As he finished, he threw the tube down to my bag and ye inlled,

"Last one in is a rotten egg!"

Without hesitation we both ran for the water, laughing the whole way. With sand flicking up behind us as we ran, we reached the water in no time. We leapt over the small wave as we reached the water, the splash from the land was cool and refreshing. After a few more leaps, I dove in under a wave, losing sight of Derek.

The Cool water consumed my body. The waves in my hair, the current caressing and flowing over me. As I resurfaced, I couldn't see Derek. I assumed he went under too, and started looking in to the water, trading to see his figure.

With my head still looking to the water, a splash came from my side, Derek sat there unleashing a wave of splashes as I tried to deflect and return. Laughter erupting from both of us as we unleashed a wrath of splashes on each other. He finally stopped with a breathy laugh and so did I. He started to swim toward me and I couldn't help but splash him one last time, playback for what he'd started.

"Alright," he laughed, "You win." He made it over next to me. As our breathing solved, we both looked at Spencer, who's attention seemed to never leave his book.

"How can we get pretty boy in the water?" He suggested. We decided a plan and set it in to play, and I was the bait. I watched Derek swim far enough away and began acting. It needed to be convincing or Spence Rodney buy it.

I started waving my hand in the air and started yelling out for help. Using his name a couple of times in the process helped a lot. His head finally snapped up to see me, my head bobbing under the water a few times, and to see Derek no where near close enough to help. He jumped up, ripped off his shirt and used his feet to remove his shoes.

He ran for the water and jumped in. He made it close enough to me that he was commited to swimming and I started laughing. Derek, who had been watching, had made his way over too and joined in with my giggles. It wasn't long until Spencer had his arms wrapped around me, trying to get my head above water. I looked into his eyes and batted my eyelashes, a small smile coming over my lips.

"Sorry." I said quietly as Derek patted him on the back, telling him of our plan.

"if you guys wanted me to swim so bad, you should have just asked." Spencer said, releasing me and staring me down with betrayal in his eyes.

"C'mon Reid," Morgan started, "you wouldn't have come in if I had simply asked. And besides, didn't it feel good holding a beautiful woman in your arms?" His eyebrows wiggling as Spencer studied me, both of our faces going red at the suggestion.

Derek swam off with a 'catch me if you can' look on his face.

"Sorry for doing that to you." I apologised to Spencer.

"No, he's right. I wouldn't have come in if he had asked. I'm not much for swimming, not in open experts anyway. I much prefer somewhere I can see the bottom. Even though the percentage of shark attacks is pretty low, the chances of getting stuck in a rip are quite high. I don't think I'd put up much of a fight against one..." His voice trailed off as he watched Derek get further away.

"I'll save you if that ever happens." I said, winking at him. He laughed and started after Derek, I followed. The swim turned into more of a race rather than us trying to catch Derek.

We stayed at the beach for a few hours. I could feel my shoulders and nose burning. We had been having so much fun, I had forgotten to reapply sunscreen.

"Maybe we should get going," I suggested, "at least in to the shade?" I noticed Spencer's face was also red and I felt bad because he didn't even apply sunscreen. The three of us retreated to the shade.

I picked up my towel and patted myself dry. I slipped on my dress and we packed up our stuff ready to go. We stopped at the public showers to wash our feet before getting to the car.

"Who's still keen for icecream?" Derek asked as we reached the car. My sunburn wasn't 'burning' as of yet and I was still keen on icecream.

"I'm keen, but we shouldn't be too long. The sooner I get some cream into this bad boy, the better." I replied, pointing to my nose and shoulders, while putting my seat belt on. Derek looked over his shoulder to Spencer who simply said,

"Sure." With a shrug of his shoulders, pulling his book out of his bag.

The icecream shop wasn't too far away, so o didn't burger with the radio. Instead, Derek and I joked around with each other during the drive.

This one is longer to make up for the day's I've been missing. It's been sitting in my drafts for days because I keep getting distracted. I'm so sorry, please enjoy. :)

[emgoesmed]

3/9/2023

Post-challenge thoughts & reflection

I started the challenge strong but didn't manage to stick to it very well. I transitioned from one clinical rotation to another, am in the process of moving, figuring out away rotations and next year's rotations, and am starting to think about residency applications, so there has been a lot of other stuff on my plate.

"Body" - I managed to complete my skincare routine about 67% of the month, and wore sunscreen almost daily which is a new habit I'm proud of. I haven't exercised in a month and I planned a stretching routine but didn't implement it, so I will try again as a "flexibility challenge" soon. I was pleasantly surprised I managed to get 8+ hours of sleep about 62% of the month, which is more than I expected.

"Mind" - I'm still working on work/life boundaries, there is a lot going on right now. I completed my journal and bought a new one. I wrote down "3 things I'm grateful for" about 67% of the time; I generally feel like I notice small things to be positive about daily, so even if i don't write it down I consider that part a success.

"Positivity" - Being kind to myself is also a work in progress, definitely not something that can be solved in one month, but I'm trying to work on my thought patterns.

"Food" - I wasn't perfect about tracking my hydration but I had 3 bottles of water ~67% of the time. I spent a lot on takeout food and didn't really cook at all, and haven't been eating full meals, or eating often enough, which isn't good. I am planning to work on food as a separate challenge (like flexibility) once I move into my new place and am settled in.

"Financial" - Well, I spent a lot of money on takeout food and stuff for school ; registering for boards exam was like $600 (RIP). I did complete my taxes and federal loans application for this year and am going to revise my budget once I move and my rent changes.

"Intellectual" - I've read 1/7 books from my reading list (a poetry collection by Hanif Abdurraqib) and I really enjoyed taking a break from medicine to stretch my brain in a different way. I also read another random library book, it's so nice to relax with a physical book and take a break from work. I still haven't played piano, practiced makeup skills or listened to any podcasts. I used Duolingo about 57% of the challenge days.

"Social" - I reached out to a lot of friends and it was great to catch up. I also managed to do something social 1-2x per week and made a couple of new friends both irl and online.

"Style" - I'm going through my closet since I'm moving soon. I haven't put much thought into defining a personal style but there are a few pieces I'd like to purchase or replace. I'm currently wearing a favorite band shirt, comfy jeans, and leather boots, and feeling pretty good :D I also dressed up a couple times recently for social events which was really fun and I felt great.

"Space" - My room is a mess since I'm in the middle of packing up all my belongings, but looking forward to the move and organizing and decorating the new space.

2/9/2023

Yesterday I came across this graphic on Pinterest while I was supposed to be paying attention in Zoom lecture. It inspired me to do a little glow up challenge over the next month. I want to stay positive through the winter and head into the springtime sunshine feeling Good(tm).

Here's how it's gonna work:

Every 3 days over the next month I will post my thoughts about one of the categories listed in this graphic, because I'm tweaking it to fit my personal goals.

I'll be using the tag #emglowsup for these posts.

All of the items that say "do for 21 days" will instead be 1 month.

At the end of the month I will update on my progress, how I'm feeling after completing the challenge, what I found most difficult and my plans moving forward.

If anyone feels similarly inspired, of course you are welcome to take any ideas from this post or join me with this challenge! Feel free to use the same tag so I can see what you're up to :)

[hobiwonder]

An Open Letter to BTS

Hi guys, time for another rant *cue idol*

So I recently watched a video on youtube by this girl SherlizaMoe (i think that's her yt user) on colourism in Kpop, Asia and in a BTS context. She talked about her struggles as a teenager with her skin colour, using lighter makeup in cosplay and generally just being a victim to the whole lighter-is-beautiful mentality before she finally started to love and feel comfortable in her own skin. She also touches on colourism in Asian countries such as India, China, Korea, Philipines etc. It's a great video and touches on a little but if everything for example why it is so prevailant, the historical reasons behind it and the mainstream stars now contributing to colourist ideas by promoting whitening creams, skin bleaches etc.

In that video she touched on kpop as well and more specifically, BTS. She obviously showed an older clip of Namjoon saying how he couldn't see Tae or Hoseok because they were "too black". Now, he has apologized and genuinely moved on from him ignorant beliefs and is very self-reflective and self-aware. It's evident in how much he has grown as a person that we don't need him to constantly apologize or reassure people with his words when we can see in his actions and personality that he has changed.

BUT I will say, the reason for my post is that I see the most change in Namjoon. He made a mistake and he learned from it. What hurts me the most - as it always did in the past but i ignored it like a dumbass - is that how the rest of the group members, unknowningly or knowingly i can't say, are still a victim of that mentality that lighter is the way to go. They may not say it directly but we all know actions speak louder than words. More specifically, Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung are the ones I still see that indirectly make these inferences.

For example, ever since their debut, there have been mupltiple instances in season's greetings, summer package and most of all, Bon Voyage where Jimin has made a commeny about other members getting tanner. He has called Jungkook a kamdoongie years back and I remember it was a big deal for a while until everyone - including myself - dismissed it as them being young and dumb. But that is it. I do think that Jimin still hasn't realised it. That his words and sometimes actions do hurt Army such as myself who are of tanner or very dark complexion. He constantly makes a note of Jungkook tanning, often teasing him for getting tanned which I have found hurtful myself and I can't imagine how Jungkook must feel.

I will say, it's Jimin who contributes the most in terms of his teasing comments. We all know the tan JK got in BV2 and all laughed at it as it sort of became a meme. Because he got a weird tan line, the members made fun of him and it was evident that it was mostly because of the weird tan line and not for getting tanned at all. However, when I watched the new BV, I was honestly kind of really weirded out by the amount of sunscreen Tae, Jungkook and Jimin would put on. Jimin pointed out that Jungkook got a weird tan last time so he should put sunblock on. Whoever has watched the new season can tell that he is teasing - albiet playfully - and then jungkook proceeds to put sunblock on every surface visible.

It's the same when Tae gets to Malta. The scene where he could be a mime with how white his face was because of the sheer amount of sunscreen he was putting on. In episode 2 or 3 I think, Jimin tells jungkook that he has already gotten darker. It's at the restaurant they are eating at so it might be second episode. Throughout the series, they just put on butload of sunscreen like it's going to stop them from tanning. I'm guessing Namjoon doesn't know otherwise he would clown them I think lmao that sunscreen DOESN'T stop you from tanning. It literally just filters the UV rays so the sun isn't going to cause damage and diseases like skin cancer. It does NOT stop production of melanin so regardless, you still get tanned. But we can all tell that that's precisely the reason they keep on slapping sunscreen - to prevent tanning.

Jungkook and Yoongi both wear dark clothes, covering their whole bodies to prevent from getting tanned. I moreso think that's why jungkook wore full sleeves. With Yoongi, maybe not so much but maybe he also wore full sleeves to avoid tanning. I don't see another reason he would be wearing dark full sleeve clothes in the sweltering heat. Namjoon goes out and buys sleevless shirts, Hoseok wear short sleeves, shorts, flowy shirts. Lile you can tell that Namjoon doesn't give a shit about getting tanned and niether does hoseok.

What strikes me the most is that despite Jimin making these comments, he wears shorts, doesn't slap on a gallon of sunscreen because I have noticed he doesn't tan as quickly or as much. We all remember debute Jimin. He wore sleevless and was tan probably because at that time, he was a trainee, went to school, etc. Now he is considerably paler because his wardrobe has changed and sometimes your complexion DOES shift. Mine was much darker when i was young and now im a few shades lighter but still very tan.

Now let's talk about their selfies. All selfies they upload, you can tell that they have either chosen the filter that is the lightest or their exposure is super high. Don't come at me that they are naturally pale or that they don't use filters because even when they are outside, you. can TELL that they have used a filter. It really, really hurts me guys. As I imagine other armies. I may sound dramatic but it is the truth. Seeing men who are my rolemodels, not embrace their own skin because of the societal norms of what is considered beautiful and what is not. It's kind of contradictory to their message and I hope Namjoon can educate them a little more on the impact they are having by these subtle things they do.

I'm not calling Jimin bad, or anyone else in the group. I love then dearly and BECAUSE I love them, I want them to be better people. The recent picture Jungkook posted in Fancafe. Have you guys seen how whitewashed that is? Like why do they appear so gorgeously tan and golden in the US? Any show outside of Korea they have gone to, they can be seen in their true skin colours. In Korea, the culture is to just put a wash to their cameras so everyone appears lighter than they are. BTS stands for not following the societal norm, to change things we are not happy with. Just because it's the culture, doesn't mean it is right. It is colourism. I was fortunate enough to have a family who empowered me and made me feel comfortable in my own skin. But not everyone has that.

Especially in Korea, Brazil, India, Indonesia and other developing counties who have these farmful beauty standards as a replacement for equal rights and opportunities to climb up the social hierarchy. I'm not claiming to know everything but i hope you get the gist of it. And I hope they can learn and move away from these ideas that lighter is beautiful. I'm sure many people feel the same way. If I am to criticise other groups for colourism, I want my own ult group to change.

I am also not saying lighter skin is bad or that BTS should be always tan. Skin colours change according to the weather we all know. But what I am saying is completely different.

That's all thanks for reading if you did. Check out these videos for more context.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c4jhLttgQkk

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_YhxShoelz4 - Jackie Aina talking about skin bleaching.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UBhQus4yr5Q

- Skin bleaching documentary. It's something that is practiced all around Asia and Africa.

[devaigh]

The Winner

Chapter 3

Much ❤❤ to my wonderful beta @sassenachbydesign for all her help, and for talking things through with me. This story would not be possible without her.

“There's my girl.”  Claire smiled wide as her daughter descended the last few steps. “I was starting to wonder where you had gone”

“Oh, no where. I was just... showing some of the guests to their rooms.” Brianna motioned absently behind her.

“I see. It seems like almost everyone has arrived, yes?”

“I think so.”

Claire linked arms with her daughter, leading them outside towards the wide terrace. “Well since the guest are mostly settled, I thought you could help me with something.”

Brianna raised an eyebrow. “And what exactly would that be?”

“I have a surprise for Roger. I assumed you would like to help me with it.” Claire grinned. “I have it hidden away for now. I happened to come across something that he would find interesting. But it looks like I will have to show you later.” She inclined her head. “I think someone is looking for you.”

Brianna followed her gaze, her own blue eyes lighting up when she saw  Roger. Her mother was right, as soon as Roger caught her eye, he hurried over, greeting Brianna with a soft kiss.

“Hello again, Dr. Randall.”

“Roger, please I've told you to call me Claire”

Roger blushed. “Aye, I'm sorry Claire.”

“Forgiven.” Claire smiled looking between her daughter and future son-in-law. “How about I leave you two, and I'll see you both this evening at dinner? You should both take some time for yourselves before things get too crazy around here. Just don't be late.”

“We won't Mama.” Brianna leaned over giving her mother a kiss on the cheek. “We'll see you later.”

“Aye, tonight.” Roger grinned, pulling Brianna close to his side. She fit neatly under his arm. “Right now, if you'll excuse us, I would verra much like to have Bree to myself a bit.”

“I suppose it's alright.” Claire teased. “Just behave both of you. We have a lot of guests, so make sure you're both back in time. We don't want to keep them waiting.”

Claire waved them off as she turned to go back to the beach house. She took a deep breath, enjoying the warm, salty air. It had been awhile since she had had a proper vacation.

For the last several years, it seemed as if she hardly left the hospital at all. Now she had two glorious weeks on a private beach in the south of France.

Claire fully intended on enjoying herself, even if she did have a wedding to see through.

A sudden movement from one of the balconies caught her eye. Twisting, she held one hand up, trying to see; the early afternoon sun was in her eyes. She could only make out what appeared to be a huge, hulking shadow, as it crossed her face. Blinking the sun from her eyes, she turned back towards the wide breezy porch and disappeared once more inside.

**********

Jamie stood frozen on the balcony of his room, his eyes locked on the point where Claire had just vanished. He could feel the rough, weathered wood of the railing give slightly under his hand as his fingers wrapped tightly around it.

Seeing her, moving so gracefully around the the edges of the beach with her lovely nest of curls floating around her face, simply stole his breath.

She looked just as lovely as the last time he saw her, when he kissed her goodbye. Jamie could feel the bitter sting of tears pricking at his eyes. With a huff, he shook his head, clearing his thoughts.

Did he truly had any claim on her after all these years?

What he could even say to her?

No, he reminded himself. He was here for one reason only. To see his newly found daughter wed. It was the least he could do for the lass. He would stay, for Brianna, and then take his leave.

It was probably what was best for everyone.

***************

“This place is beautiful LJ. How did you ladies ever decide to stay here?”

Clare laughed, “Well honestly, I've always loved this part of France. I used to come here with my Uncle when I was a little girl.  We would always stay in villas like these for a few weeks each summer. It was one tradition we always kept.” she shrugged. “I myself haven't actually been here in years. When Brianna suggested it, I guess I just went along.”

“So Bree made the suggestion.”

“She did. I don't quite know where she got the idea, but I have to say, I think it was a great change.”

“You deserve a vacation LJ. You work too hard.” Joe said, his eyes serious. “You never take time for yourself. I know Bree is your whole world outside the hospital, but she's grown now. She's about to be married. You should start thinking about you again. Maybe find you a man...”

“Joe..” Claire slumped in her chair. “Please, I have no reason to think of anything like that.” She rolled her eyes. “I haven't been with anyone since Frank, and that's the last thing I want to consider!”

It was true.

Claire's relationship with the older Professor was one that still left her sore. A quick whirlwind of a romance that still left a bitter taste in her mouth. She knew that her hasty marriage had only been the painful product of her shattered heart and discovery of her pregnancy. Yet she still had agreed. Had it not been for Brianna... Well, Claire still wasn't sure what she would have done.  Moving to Boston had been her way of putting her past behind her. It was a way to start over, and discover what she truly wanted.

That's how she had met Joe.

Three years after moving across the pond, Claire had started medical school. It had long been a dream, something she had wanted for as long as she could remember.  At first, it had been somewhat easy with Frank around, despite his annoyance at her studies. Frank had wanted Claire to remain at home, which had caused a lot of their fights.  

When they had finally split, Claire  felt only a sense of relief.

She could finally pursue what she wanted, and while her daughter went to school, Claire would be in classes as well, usually until it was time to pick Bree up. Then, once she would drop her off with the sitter, Claire would work nights as a nurse at the local hospital.

It was a long, exhausting few years. When she met Joe, she had found a friend she could rely on. When sitters were difficult to find, Joe's wife Gail would take Brianna, sleeping from Claire's arms, refusing to take any sort of payment as Claire was ushered to class or work. Between the two, Claire had kept herself and her daughter fed, and safe. She had no idea how she had made it through school without them.

By the time she had graduated, Brianna was almost in the double digits. Then her routine was mostly worked around her daughter. As a single parent, Claire was forced to work odd hours, until Brianna was old enough to stay home alone.

“I'm doing just fine, on my own Joe.”  Claire said, brushing away her thoughts.

“I never said you weren't LJ. I only said you need to do something for you. You have a lot to offer anyone.”  Joe stood then, patting Claire on the shoulder. “I hate to run, but I need to go see where Gail went.”

“Of course. You both should get some rest. It's a long way from Boston.”

“See you at dinner?”

Claire smiled. “Absolutely. Thanks Joe.”

“My pleasure LJ.”

**************

Claire stood on the edge of the terrace, her long dress billowing around her. Her eyes were closed,  her face tipped up to catch the fading sunlight. She could taste the salt in the air around her, feel the weight as it tangled in her curls. A deep rich aroma floated towards her from somewhere along the beach, it reminded her of dinner.

Soon she thought, soon she would turn back inside and change for the large dinner planned for all the wedding guests.

Despite the exitement surrounding the festivities, Claire found herself longing for more of the quiet moments. She looked forward to when the wedding was over, everyone was gone, and she could spend a few days to herself before she went back to her life.

Claire yanked off the wide straw hat she wore, seeking the warmth of the fading light. Her shoulders had gone slightly pink since she arrived, but she found she didn't care. Her normally creamy skin had started to freckle just so. She rubbed her arm lightly, amused how the lightest touch of her fingers left a brief imprint. She would need to remember her sunscreen.

“Careful there. I'd no like to see ye burned.”

Claire froze. The sound of the voice behind her thrumming through her. Her eyes shot open, wide and alarmed. As if in slow motion, she turned, her brow eyes automaticity looking up, locking her gaze on the man she never thought she'd see again.

“It's nice to see ye, Sassenach.”