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voiceless-terror · 4 years ago

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And Many Happy Returns

part 2 of my sequel to Inseparable, my childhood friends au. part one here.

Tuesday dawns quicker than Jon imagined it would.

It’s not one of his best days. First of all, tomorrow is Martin’s birthday, which already has him antsy and distracted. Second, he keeps losing his train of thought whenever he talks to Martin and he’s definitely starting to think something’s up. Third, he’s gotta tell him he can’t play today.

“I’m going to the store with Nan tonight, she wants me to help pick out the groceries,” he says, tearing his sandwich into bits and trying to maintain eye contact with Martin. Nan always thinks he’s lying when he doesn’t meet her eyes. “She says I’m too picky cause I won’t eat anything she gives me.” That’s true, though she wouldn’t remedy it by letting him pick out his own food. She’d just let him go hungry.

“You should eat it anyway,” Martin says, his brow furrowing in concern. “You’ll never grow tall if you don’t eat dinner.” He sounds like one of those TV adverts on the kid channels. Jon has to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

“It’s fine.” He shoves a bit of sandwich in his mouth. Martin worries too much, and not about the right things. He’s going to make sure Martin has a worry-free birthday. Even if it means making him worry extra today, which kind of cancels it out. He tries to remind himself that feelings aren’t math, though it sure would make things a lot easier if they were. Emotions are messy and Jon doesn’t always understand them.

At the end of the day Martin parts from him reluctantly, and Jon tries not to let it bother him. I’ll make him very happy tomorrow. It’ll be worth it. He drags his feet a bit on the walk, taking twice the normal amount of time to get home. By the time he opens the door, his nan’s already there, putting her purse over her shoulder.

“C’mon then, child,” she says, not sparing him a glance as she slips into her shoes. “Don’t dawdle.” Jon follows suit, throwing his backpack haphazardly on a pile of shoes and bounding out towards the car. He’s usually not a fan of car rides with his Nan; she doesn’t like to play music and she isn’t a fan of Jon’s ‘incessant chattering,’ so they can get pretty boring. This time, however, he’s too distracted to let it bother him, and before he knows it, they’re pulling into the car park.

Nan insists on doing her shopping first, so Jon has a lot of time to stew. What if they don’t have what he wants? What if they’re all out of cupcakes and Jon has to get him some sort of cookie? What if he has to get him an oatmeal raisin cookie? That would be a disaster. Martin likes them, but they’re just so boring.

Jon almost breaks out into a sprint when they finally reach the bakery section, but a sharp tug on his arm stops him. He takes exaggeratedly slow steps to the far right counter, where he can spot the birthday cakes and a small selection of cupcakes. Jon’s eyes scan over the rather limited options until he finds it. The perfect one.

He taps on the glass emphatically. “That one. The one with the orange icing.”

His grandmother leans down beside him, her mouth drawn in a disapproving frown. He hopes she hasn’t changed her mind- usually if he behaves, she’ll follow through on her promises. And Jon’s been very good, except for the whole almost-running thing.

“Are you sure?” She points to a different one to the right, with boring blue icing and dumb baby sprinkles. “The blue one’s much nicer. Orange, it’s such an odd color for-”

Jon stamps his foot in outrage, a move that’s sure to get him in trouble later. “Martin’s hair is orange and it's fantastic! It has to be this one.” He pauses, well aware of the consequences of a tantrum and tacks on an insistent “please.”

It gets the job down. She gives him one last exasperated sigh before motioning to one of the people behind the counter, pointing at Jon’s choice. He bounces on his feet as they wrap it in a nice little box and Nan carefully puts it in the seat of the cart. “Thank you thank you thank-”

“Alright, that’s enough.” But she’s giving him a little smile, and doesn’t even flinch when he throws his arms around her waist. “You’re welcome.” He gives her an extra good squeeze.

Almost there!

________

And finally it’s Wednesday. The big day. Martin’s day.

He’s spent all of last night fixing up his present, looking at it with a critical eye. He thinks Martin will like it. He hopes he will. Nan had given him the cupcake and told him to make sure he handled it very carefully, lest he get icing all over everything.

Jon’s not stupid. He can handle one cupcake.

“Jon!”

At the sound of Martin’s voice, Jon shoves the box into his backpack.

“Happy Birthday!” he shouts, throwing his arms around Martin and squeezing him tight. Martin’s wonderful at hugs, but Jon can give very good ones if he puts his mind to it. Martin pauses and it takes a few moments before he eagerly returns it.

“Y-You remembered!” Jon looks up from his spot in Martin’s sweater (it’s very soft) and resists the urge to scowl. There’s no scowling on people’s birthdays.

“Of course. You only told me a few days ago.” He reluctantly parts from him and gives him a lookover- Martin’s not wearing anything special (besides the sweater, a nice light blue), he doesn’t look any different. Jon expected him to carry himself with a different air, like he’s seen older kids do. But eight year old Martin looks the same as seven year old him. Unless he grew a centimeter or two overnight, as children are wont to do.

“I figured we could go to the park after school to celebrate.” Jon resists the urge to dance on his feet as Martin gives him a shy smile. “Well, not the park but the little clearing behind it- you know, the one where we found the headless doll-”

There’s a little path in the sparse woods nearby, where Martin and Jon like to go when the weather is nice. It’s as warm as it could be, and Jon made sure to clear the twigs from the area beforehand so it wasn’t so messy. He’s got a picnic blanket and everything.

“You don’t have to go through the trouble, not if you don’t want-”

“Martin,” Jon sighs, giving him a level look. “It’s not trouble if it’s you.”

His friend’s face immediately goes red at Jon’s words, and he opens and closes his mouth a few times before he manages to speak. Martin gets like that when he’s flustered, though Jon has no idea what he said to cause it.

“I-I would like that, I think.”

“Good.”

Martin keeps shooting him shy smiles all day and Jon can’t keep still, he’s too excited! He’s almost tempted to give Martin the cupcake at lunch (he checks his bag- still good!), but he also brought a little surprise with that, and he’ll definitely get in trouble if they see him at school with it. Still, it takes everything in him not to just celebrate now. By the time the bell rings, Jon’s already out of his seat, tugging at Martin’s hand.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t throw you a party,” he says as he practically skips his way to the playground, Martin huffing alongside him. “But you know how Nan is, and I don’t really know who we’d invite. Better it’s just us.” They bypass the playground and the few children on it until they make their way to the clearing. Some new twigs must have fallen since his visit on the weekend, and Jon impatiently kicks them aside and throws his backpack to the ground, rummaging through it. Martin stands patiently beside him, watching as he pulls out a ratty blanket and spreads it out on the grass with a flourish. He plops to the ground and pats the spot next to him, gesturing for Martin to sit.

“And for the last bit…” he digs around in his bag, pulling out the small container. The cupcakes gone all crooked and some of the icing’s smeared, so Jon turns that edge towards him. “Tada!””

And Martin just stares.

He’s starting to get nervous. Jon’s gotten good at figuring out Martin’s expressions, but this one is just plain weird. It’s just a lumpy cupcake and Martin’s staring at it like he’s liable to break into a million pieces. Jon’s starting to think he’s done something horribly wrong.

“You don’t like it?” he asks tentatively, starting to pull back. “Should I have gone with the blue one? I thought you liked orange-”

“I do.” Oh no. Martin’s voice has gone all squeaky and breaky, like when they read that book where the dog died at the end. “It’s just- It’s very nice of you. You didn’t have to-”

“Of course I did.” Jon says as soon as he realizes where this is going. “But here, hold this- I’m not done.”

“Not done?”

He digs around in his backpack again and pulls out the small box of matches he’d stolen from the cabinet and a tiny, single candle from some ancient cake pack. Nan had plenty of them, to light the cigarettes Jon’s not supposed to know she smokes. He’s seen her light them with ease, so it shouldn’t be that hard.

He turns and opens the container, still in Martin’s hands, and sticks the candle right in the middle. He takes the matches and tries to strike them against the black bit, fast and quick like his Nan does, but it only succeeds in breaking the match in half.

“Oops. Hold on.” He tries again to no avail, this time flinging the bent match to the side. Three. Four. Five more tries, and he’s starting to get real frustrated and embarrassed. He’s almost eight, for crying out loud. He should be able to light a match.

“Um, here. Let me.” Martin gestures for the pack and Jon reluctantly hands it over, taking the cupcake instead. With one smooth, easy motion, Martin strikes the match against the stripe and Jon watches in awe as it easily lights.

“Wow!”

“It’s not that hard.” He places it against the candle and shakes it out in his hand. He pauses for a moment, staring at the lit candle like he doesn’t know what to do.

“Well? Make a wish!”

“O-Oh! Right.” Martin closes his eyes, clearly concentrating real hard. So hard, in fact, that the wax is starting to melt a bit and Jon worries he’s forgotten to make a wish. A few more seconds pass and Martin blows it out gently. Jon would clap if his hands weren’t full.

“Eat it!” he demands, and Martin complies, a smile on his face as he takes a hesitant nibble and nods in appreciation. “But I would like one bite, please. I want to know how orange tastes.”

Orange ends up tasting mostly like white and pink and all the other colors do. How boring. Martin seems to enjoy it, though, judging by the icing smeared across his face. He should’ve brought napkins.

“I, um, I also got you this,” Jon reaches into his backpack to pull out his actual present- it’s a bit crumpled, bent at the corners, but it’s managed to stand up pretty well in his backpack. Doesn’t even have any pencil marks on it! Martin seems to like his pictures, always keeping even the silliest of doodles, so he decided he’d give him a whole bunch at once, that way he can get a bunch of smiles from Martin. He threw away his more amateur attempts- he’d tried to draw just Martin, but the arms kept coming out real wonky so he decided to go with his busier drawings, so Martin wouldn’t be able to see how bad he was at proportions.

“It’s got a book cover and everything,” he explains excitedly, holding it out to Martin but not exactly letting him touch it yet. He’s not going to understand everything unless Jon walks him through it, obviously. Martin hovers near his shoulder looking weirdly nervous, so Jon sidles up to him.

“Here’s us at school, at our tree, in the library- oh! This is just a page of dinosaurs. I used that book from the library as reference. It’s got really good pictures. I think they turned out pretty well, don’t you?” He points to his favorite one, a purple brontosaurus (he’s never seen any purple ones in the books, but it’s a very nice color).

“Y-Yeah,” Martin replies, leaning further into his side. Jon likes when he does that. He can be pretty hesitant about touches, but he doesn’t need to be. Not with him. “It looks really nice, Jon.”

“Thank you.” Of course Martin would like it. He was so silly to worry. “And here’s that time you kicked that ball at Marcus- and here’s that dog I hate- and here’s our house-”

“Our house?”

Jon blinks, turning to look up at Martin. “Yeah. For when we’re big.” Martin continues to stare at him with big, bright eyes, like Jon’s an alien or something. Weird.

“A-Are we married?”

“Um, maybe.” Jon hadn’t really put much thought into that. He just supposes that when they grow up, they’ll get their own house. Well, first a flat in London, but then they’d get a big place when they were rich. Jon’s going to work with dinosaurs at a museum, there’s definitely money in that. They have to pay you a lot because the bones are so big. And Martin...what will Martin do? Firefighter, probably, on account of his height and his arms. Or maybe a doctor, since he’s so good at putting on plasters.

I suppose we could be married. He’s not sure he ever wants to give Martin a kiss or have babies or anything like that, but it would be nice to have someone to hug on a permanent basis. He doesn’t want to get married in a church, though. The last time he’d been in one was during his mum’s funeral, and he thinks he’ll cry if he has to see a cross.

“I haven’t thought about it,” he decides; he doesn’t want to dash Martin’s dreams, since there’s still a distinct possibility it’ll happen. It just makes sense. “But you would have to get me a very shiny ring with lots of colors. None of those boring clear ones. Okay?”

Martin gives him a very good smile. “Okay.”

They spend a little bit more time going through the rest of the pictures- Jon explaining each one, and Martin nodding as if it's the most interesting thing in the world. Martin’s very good at giving people his undivided attention. When they’re done, Martin hugs it to his chest like it’s something precious and beams.

“Thanks, Jon. I- I really like it.”

“Oh, good.” Jon tries not to let it show how much this pleases him, looking away from Martin’s beaming face even as he bounces a little on his knees. “I’m glad. I can make you one next year. And the year after that. All the years, really. I can’t wait for us to grow up and do lots of things together.” Now that Martin’s seen all his pictures and predictions, they need to start doing some planning, the two of them. They’ve got a good ten years before they graduate, and he wants to do some stuff in between.

“I can’t wait to drive everywhere like my mum does,” Martin says. Martin has a preoccupation with that, Jon noticed. Most kids are fine with bikes but Martin wants a car, he wants to go far places. Like Scotland, even. And you need a car for that. The thought of being behind the wheel fills Jon with anxiety.

“I don’t think I’m going to drive, ever,” he announces, plopping down beside Martin. “Cars are so big. I don’t know how I’d control them.”

“Mum says it's not that hard,” Martin says. “And once, Dad let me drive in his lap. Only a little bit, though. I think I can handle it.” Jon can very easily picture Martin behind the seat of a car. It’s just something he looks like he can do.

“And don’t worry,” he continues. “I’ll drive you wherever you need to go. It’ll be fun.” It’ll definitely be an improvement over car rides with Nan. But anything with Martin is an improvement, he makes things fun just by being there.

“I guess. But I want to go on adventures,” Jon says emphatically. “I want to go on a train ride around Europe. Visit all the museums and gardens and castles. We can do that together.”

“Go out and see the world, then?”

“Yeah.” He looks over to Martin, sitting there on Jon’s dirty little blanket with his present tucked against his chest and a far off look in his eyes, smiling at Jon like he’s hung the moon and suddenly they’re not in this stupid little clearing in stupid little Bournemouth, but somewhere else- a grand forest in Germany, or a field in France, or a cottage in the country. The world out there is large and scary and full of things he doesn’t understand, but he’s not alone anymore, fantasizing about adventures he’ll never have and places he’ll never go. He’s got Martin, now, and he makes the world a little more familiar, a little more safe. His fantasies don’t seem so far away anymore.

This is why people have friends, Jon thinks. It’s one thing to have a home and a family. Or a Nan, like Jon has. But when you have a friend, it’s like having a whole nother family. And when you see them it’s like coming home, even if you’re not at your house. And you’re not lonely or homesick cause even a dingy little clearing or a forest or a castle can be home, as long as you’re with them.

“Jon,” Martin says, his voice interrupting Jon’s musings. “This is...really nice. Thank you.”

“I’m glad.” Jon beams, nudging Martin’s leg with his foot. “I wanted you to have a good birthday. You’re my best friend!”

“I’m your only friend,” Martin corrects, though his face blanches as soon as the words come out. “I mean, you’re my only friend too, so I don’t have much room to talk.”

“Well, I’ve got you. I don’t need anyone else.” Jon rolls his eyes. He likes this whole friend business, but he doesn’t think he can handle another one right now. He’s got enough on his plate as is.

“Yeah,” Martin says, nudging Jon back with a smile. “Neither do I.”

________

They spend the rest of daylight there, talking. Jon even offers to go on the tire swing, though the last time he threw up in his mouth a little. Martin declines with a knowing smile, and says he’s just fine sitting here. Jon thought he’d want a bit more excitement, but he’s willing to go along. It’s Martin’s birthday, after all. And the talking isn’t so bad. By the time they leave, they’ve got enough plans for the next twenty years. Martin’s hesitant about university, though, so Jon’s going to have to sell him on that one. He’s not going to share a dorm with some stranger when he’s got a perfectly good, perfectly smart friend who ought to be in school.

On the walk back to Martin’s, they’re mostly silent. Jon knows Martin isn’t going home to a celebration, or a mum that’ll wish him a happy birthday, but he hopes today more than made up for it. He stares ahead for a few moments before he takes Martin’s hand.

“Did you have a good birthday?” Jon asks. He hates needing constant reassurance like this, but sometimes it’s better to just come out and ask instead of worrying all night. “I haven’t planned a birthday before, and I’m not as good as a mum or dad at it, but I-”

“Jon,” Martin says, turning to him with that very good smile, one that Jon will try and fail to recreate in a hundred more doodles. “This was the best birthday I’ve ever had.” He sounds like he means it, like today was enough and Jon did a good job. He beams in response.

He thinks his mum would be proud.

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599192/chapters/76194152

#my writing #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #inseparable #jonmartin #childhood friends au #cw for bad parents/grandparents but thats about it #hope you like #reblogs appreciated <3

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byuncock · 6 years ago

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Time

Baekhyun x You

angst, fluff(?)

2.1k words & Not Edited

—

2 years. It took two years for you to finally move on. Finally, mature. Finally, be ready. Although it doesnt seem like a long time it sure felt like it.

You dont know how Baekhyun is holding up, but you dont care. All you care about now is that you are finally content. Happy should be the next goal, but the fact that you finally moved on and can face the tragic past means the world.

There would be times where memories of Baekhyun with women and your very last phone call with him would haunt your mind. Your heart still slightly ache at the memory, but it’s normal. People reminisce things all the time whether it’s good or bad. Feeling this is and should be normal.

It was a tuesday. The sun is shining, birds are chirping, and flowers are blooming. A very beautiful day it is. And to match that, your mood was uplifting.

Since you couldnt let this day go to waste going out and having some me time wouldnt hurt. It’s been a long while since you actually went out for fun and not just for errands or groceries.

Your friends would try to drag you, but they cant force you. Their efforts remain useless, but they end up spending time with you at your place anyways.

After freshening up you put on a casual, but nice outfit. Off to fun you go. Before heading to your actual destination you stopped by your favorite bubble tea cafe that you haven’t visited ever since the break up.

As you enter you take in your surroundings. The place didnt change much but they did revamp it to match the seasons. There were cute cherry blossoms adorning the place here and there. Cute stuffed animals holding a bubble tea plushie. So cute, you chuckled to yourself.

Heading to the cashier before even getting to say your order the cute girl smiled brightly at you, “We got your order so please take a seat and it’ll be right out!”

Tilting your head in confusion you let out an awkward chuckle, “but i haven’t ordered yet” you smiled politely.

“Oh right! There was a nice man in front of you who told us he was ordering for you and paid it” she smiled, her eyesmile showing.

You quickly scan the place to find a familiar face then turned back to the cashier. “Do you happen to know how he looks like?”. The girl nods and points over to the table in the corner of the cafe. Following her hand you take a look.

His back was facing you. He’s wearing a puffy gray jacket off the shoulder of his white top, some jeans, and a black cap. Still confused you turned back to the cashier and thanked her.

You contemplated going over to the mysterious person. Not sure if you should thank them for buying your drink or not associate with them at all just incase they were a creep. Shrugging it off that it was going to be creep you made it over to the person.

Putting on a small smile as you approached. He seems to be busy tapping away on his phone to notice you until he heard someone slipping into the seat across from him. Looking up his eyes widen.

Your smile falters a bit. Although he is wearing a cap and a mask you could instantly tell from those brown orbs who they belong to. The broad shoulder from when you examined his back earlier should of told you who it was but you ignored.

The two of you sitting across from each other speechless while staring straight into each other’s eyes. No words were exchanged, but the tension was there.

The both of you could of sat there staring for the rest of the day until one of the workers brought your drinks over. Small mumbles of thank you were heard.

Now that you have your drink you should thank him and leave. “I came by to say thank you for the drink” you gave a slight nod and got up to leave.

Before you could even take a step from your seat he reached out, “Wait” he says a bit too loudly with one of his arms stretched out to hold onto your arm.

You stared at him, waiting for him to continue only to have him stare at your face. Questioning him by giving him a look. His eyes moved to the arch of your brow and remembered why he told you to wait.

He calls your name out before continuing, “Ho-how have you been?” he tries to make small talk. Fidgeting in his seat from your intimidating aura. How could two years possibly be enough to change someone? he thought. He must admit he did change for the better, matured a lot and that could be verified by his members, but his heart still longed for you.

Licking your lips you sat back down. “Honestly, it wasnt the best two years of my life, but i eventually got better and now i am better than before” you give a smile.

The smile that doesnt fail to have his heart skip a beat. And to think he had the guts to even cheat on you. A fucking moron he is. “That’s great” he let out a breath he didnt even know he held.

“I just… i just wanted to let you know that i am still so sorry for what happened and what i did to you when we were together… I never once stopped loving you” he starts off. Feeling tears starting to come up to his eyes. He swallows the ball in his throat that is keeping him from talking and lets out an exhale to calm down. “I spent the last two years regretting my actions that fucked everything up and bettering myself. To be a better person for you so that once we meet again if you were to give me any type of chance i will prove it to you that i have matured. I will not handle my loneliness and longing for you for when i am not near you by being with another woman, but instead talking it out, making sure that you are the only woman i will be with the rest of my life. And that i will prove to you everyday until the very end that i love you and only you.” he confesses. Tears were making its way down his cheeks as he sniffed. Wiping his cheek as he looked at you with hopeful eyes.

Overwhelmed was an understatement. You were taking it in. You were slowly taking in everything he had just said, but you couldnt help but notice how when the tears rolled down his cheeks, they were no longer mochi. As you scan him you see how much he has suffered. You’d be lying if you said you didnt feel a tiny bit satisfied that he was finally suffering and it wasnt just you. but pushing the pettiness aside. You didnt even realize you were crying until your nose was clogged up, making you sniff.

The ache in your heart slowly coming out, though it’s faint it’s still there. Your mind was reeling for the perfect words to say. Baekhyun patiently waited for you to speak as he wiped his tears that slowly kept falling down and drank some of his drink to calm himself down.

Only when he saw you open your mouth to speak he stopped drinking and listened. “I dont know what to say truly… but i’ll start off by saying thank you. I accept your apology and forgive you, but i dont know if i am willing to give you a chance” you sighed. His face falters a bit, his eyes casting down to his cup. You continued, “You know we were friends before we were lovers right?” He looks up at you and gives you a nod. “Breaking my trust and heart as a lover ultimately means breaking my trust and heart as a friend too. Even if i were to give you a chance… being friends might be the only option” you say.

Understanding he nods, although the look of disappointment is showing, he sits up straighter now with a determined look, “Like i said. Any type of chance you give me i will prove it to you that not only have i matured, but my love for you never faded. Even though we wont be getting back together I will still express my love for you. Making sure you are loved and can feel my love for you even as friends. I am willing to take my chances if this is the only chance i get”.

You know for a fact that Baekhyun means it when he has that determined face. He didnt wear a fearless bracelets for years for no reason. Baekhyun is adamant to accept failure and thats one of the perks as to why you loved him and still love him. But he doesnt need to know that.

At least not yet.

“Being friends again would be a good start” you say thinking a little. “If you really want to be with me again you need to do more than just show your love. You need to earn everything back. Only then will i let you know if we are able to start again.” you say softly. Although you still love him, the way he hurt you in the past is forever remaining in your heart. Having him earn the trust and love back will soothe the pain of the memory, but not erase it. “I am warning you though. If you really want to be with me then it will take a long time until i accept you and let you in again.” you let out softly.

He hesitantly reached out to hold your hand, intertwining it. Looking straight into your eyes with love as the determination in his face has yet to leave, “I will do my best and will keep trying even after i already earned back your love and trust” he says while tightening his hold on you. “Even if it will take a long time for us to be together again. My love for you will never end.”

Now that some weight has been lifted off your shoulder, you lowkey is excited for the wild ride Baekhyun is taking you on again. This time hoping and praying he wont mess up again.

Giving him a big smile you havent given in awhile. You stood up. Grabbing your drink, you made your way out the cafe. Baekhyun was shocked by what just happened. One minute you guys were just making up and the next you acted as if you came here to order your drink then leave once you got it. Not letting himself freeze up he quickly slipped his mask back on and grabbed his drink to follow you.

You didnt walk far, letting baekhyun catch up. “So, what are you doing today?” he asks casually, like a friend would. Not like he just didnt confess earlier and is willing to pay the price for his dumbness.

Arching a brow as you look over at him. Seeing movement in his peripheral he turned to you only for you to turn back to face the front as you let out a chuckle. “Having some me time at the mall”.

“Cool! I was thinking of shopping today too. Maybe i can join?” he says while eyeing you. Still following you to what seems like your parking spot to head to your car. “I guess” you say nonchalantly.

Excited he hops into the passenger seat once you unlocked the car. “Oh guess what” he exclaimed once you got in. As you finally took a sip from your drink you realize that he ordered your favorite. Even after two years he still remembers, you smile at the thought. Forgetting Baekhyun is in the car until he continued talking, “I finally got my license” he smiles brightly while looking at you for a reaction.

Giving him a pat on his shoulder as you start the car, “Congrats, Baek. I should of made you drive instead” you joke. Baekhyun’s heart feeling at ease at how fast things are going, but not getting too comfortable since things are still fresh.

“I should of. So i can show off my car too you,” he playfully jokes back after he letting out a thank you, you began the silent car ride to the mall.

—

author’s note: it is currently 5am. i can not sleep. ive had this in my notes since baekhyun’s birthday. i also want to start writing again, but we’ll see.. anyways i hope you guys enjoyed it! i wrote this for myself honestly because i would read a baekhyun angst fic and get rly sad if it was a sad ending so i wrote this to come back to. this is mainly for ache by byunnings on tumblr (if yall havent read it, go read it!!) bc man that angst killed me and i just couldnt lmao. welp, good night!!

~admin B xD

#baekhyun #baekhyun angst #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun scenarios #my writings #admin b

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ast-heljar · 6 years ago

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I kinda hate ppl who are uppity about food shopping. Im super tired and probably just looking to argue, but...

Shopping for ingredients is cheaper than going out to eat, sure. I spend $40-60 on food a week depending on how often we have to buy gas.

But. I have to drive quite a distance to get my groceries at a farmers market thats only open W/S/S. Alternatively or additionally I have to go to the oriental market in that same area in order to buy groceries (usually only bone in chicken because i buy the veggies at the market.)

That takes a lot of gas money and if i have to go on a sunday and come home to cook 2 meals...? Im having a breakdown by 1 PM.

"Two meals" is also misleading. What i mean is that I am making two different kinds of food to eat. I usually consider a meal the amount of food i can eat in one sitting until comfortably full.

Now, when I cook... i have to eat dinner (1 meal) and lunch and breakfast the next day (1+2) and my wife needs dinner and lunch (1+2+2) and my mom might have a plate (1+2+2+1) and gods forbid I want left overs. Sundays I cook twice, thats 12 meals, and generally include an additional +2 meals. For those counting at home thats 14 meals on a sunday to last me monday, tuesday, and wednesday if Im lucky. If im lucky i make more and dont have to cook for an additional day. Sometimes Im not lucky.

If Im up at 7 or 8 on sunday and I wont get to the market until 9 or so, which means i wont get to the asian market until about 10, then to walmart for things i cant buy in either place so 11, to cook until 2...

sigh.

And yeah, there are discount stores like ALDI and Save Alot down here but they arent close to each other and the two markets are often cheaper.

and if by cheaper you mean by cost per unit, sure ive done that across 5 stores and/or with coupons and all that... Ive done it. How much more gas is that? How much longer will I be out before I can cook? Before I can eat?

and none of this is considering whether or not I am able to cook during the week. I also dont have any kids and work only 1 job. Are we even considering whether or not I have "basic" things at home? have you considered that basic ingredients still need to be bought?! I dont have a budget for toiletries, guys, if i dont have money left over after food and gas it comes out of bill money I have to make for later...

look all im saying is if you call ppl who eat out "lazy" youre an asswipe and you need to stop talking.

#i genuinely enjoy cooking but dont be an asshole about it seriously

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thelozzaview · 4 years ago

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Ok time 2 get serious

On my website I am copying and pasting from there to here to tell you what's been happening with me for the few weeks I haven't been active:Sorry it’s been a while since I last posted anything but let’s just say its been quite an ordeal for us Marchbank’s. Some friends and family know about it and the year we have had hasn’t been easy for any of us. I have been effected by it like we all have since anyone that we know that has heard about it. I have a hole in my heart from losing my grandpa a while ago now but still recent and raw for all of us. I have been crying on and off now but since it happened everyday including the lead up to Saturday because it happened on Saturday sometime in January I have been messed up ever since even as messed to go to a psychologist it is helping but I have yet to heal i might have more to struggle with in life that’s coming for me I have my dance work starting up again soon. I might get more effected then by it but also have to keep dancing without having a grandpa to turn to tell him I am still dancing it will be the hardest time but somehow I want to convey the pain and hurt I’m feeling into the work I am working on also someone else wants to work with me and we are building something together something to do with TRUST which I am really looking forward to. I also have had my birthday and now I am 27 years old now and that's another sad moment in time because I didn't get a hug and a present from him and he won't be around to do so in the years to come in life we had to bury his ashes net to his wife my grandma Gwendolyn "Benny" Frearson now they can soar together today another week starts Monday. Today I have done my morning routine that should include a workout which I did at home because let's just say my chocolate/ screaming for any food at all stage of being a girl "oh the joy" housework and hanging out with my family and looking after mum lazing around the house and cooking tuna patties with mum then went home to lash out on food I was screaming for because I hadn't had any food since lunch had a nap then had a lot more food including dinner had Indian didn't really like the chickpeas at all so all i had was chicken and nutrigrain bar watching ANT Farm oh yeah I have a new obsession "new artist" but this one is actress/singer China Anne McClain she has acted in a number of movies Tv Shows:

ANT Farm which I am still re watching,

Descendants: Wicked World

JONAS

Tyler Perry House of Payne,

Sing Your Face Off

Paynes

Veggie tales

K-Love Superstars

Black Lightning which I am currently still re-watchingI have been listening on repeat and watching on repeat every Disney Tv show on Disney + and soundtrack she is featured in. I have been learning and mastering Young Guns for singing lesson including the rap from The Messenger but I'm convinced its Gabriel McClain her brother rapping in the song. Another highlight popped in my mail just now that me and Talitha someone I met while working together in our first Dance Film Workshop we clicked right away and knew that we are the friends that we are now our own family she invited me to a open rehearsal at the beach a while ago Annette came with me and now wanting to work together it's meant to be so I really hope we get it i would be like jumping up and down inside out when we both find out. The time now is 5:39 and just having my dried out grapes for afternoon tea now and when it's 6pm dinner time until 6:50 I'm going to have the rest of my dried out fruit, spinach and an apple not a solid meal but it might knock my weight down let's see mum told me in her serious tone about how worried she is about my weight and how I was at risk of diabetes a long time ago with my hyperthyroid problem and will have to inject myself into oblivion in the present day to manage everything along with the life stresses along with my loss of my grandfather is weighing down on me mentally, emotionally and physically which has my weight gone flying up again I'm not this person. I'm the kind of person who would have a say and say NO and be good like how I used to be fit and vigour and ready for anything not the girl who is down and depressed with the loss of her grandfather I guess I will just have to sit with it until I get there in the end and be that person again and I will forget that girl ever existed throw her to the sharks but for now just enjoying and basking in the limelight of life waiting for a job to come along because Mum and I are applying and finding more work for me to keep me busier in the days of the weeks so my life is more balanced to not rely on people to hangout with me everyday which I am still doing now until then. So I had my dinner apple and microwaved spinach then went to dance Alice picked me up I had fun she then took me home after car partying to Descendants 2 soundtrack CD I got for my birthday came home and drank water until 9:45 now watching ANT Farm thinking of going to bed now thoughI might as well do that now because I am yawning next week I will update next Monday for my readers. Yesterday I had a day to myself i have been through my period so to start off the day was shower, morning workout, grocery shop afternoon sleep to guided nap meditation on Spotify then after singing lesson at mine because Z has lost her voice from pushing too hard at her gig on Tuesday night and has 2 gigs this weekend.

So the next best thing for me to do which was chat to her for like a 2 message chat with her around 5:40pm which was fun watched Maleficent but thought I was watching the second one which I haven't watched in a while since I came back from a holiday with the family which I will do on Thursday night and I had my singing practice and loz parties which are always fun had cheese n mac for dinner dare iced mocha, bread as my ANT Farm viewings and chips/ smoothie for my movie watching snacks which was enjoyable when it was time I went to bed and woke up to Thursday which is today.

started today with shower, smoothie to kickstart my tastebuds and breakfast then by 9am had Zumba which was fun then Annette came to pick me up to have some fun with me which we did we drove home together got changed and caught the bus to Chamberlain coffee shop because I might be working there if i get the job that is mum is finding work for me now I have been home quite a bit we finally got onto Bernie and I am working with her during the month of April which is exciting so need the rest before working long hours plus

Talitha who I met when Bernie and I joined Dance Film Workshop were hoping to work together around that time also and we are working with the idea of Trust and we have some footage to work off together which we are excited to get going so things are turning the right direction for me in that front did some last minute shopping and now home to recover had my afternoon nap that wasn't long at all because mum and I have some errands to do together and an afternoon tea together with Susan who is going back home so mum will find out the details for that until I can re-cooperate until then

So i went to Susan's and had a bit of cake and some water and talk and hangout with Anna and watched the football and mum had to go out tonight so we left at 5pm and now the time is 6:18 just showered washed my hair and everything else what stays in the shower stays in the shower now about to unwind and have a lozza party once again

Gem and I finally agreed on going to Dawesville tomorrow night and coming back on Saturday so I can still have my parties so its a win win situation for both of us were both really looking forward to hanging out with each other again she told me herself my phone is playing with me it keeps turning on and off again and it wont let me go on it in bed like I usually do i know that will keep dad happy because I'm not really supposed to have screen time then

I want to go to Alvin to get it fixed with Phoebe so i can keep using my phone because I don't just use it for entertainment I also need it for its own functions to call my family ever night and morning to help me to start and end day I am charging my phone to hope for it to work again ore night so far not success but I will keep my eye out through the night and morning until i call my parents again but enjoying my Disney + party. I will go to bed soon though

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sizzlingcrusadebouquetfan-blog · 7 years ago

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I wanna buy a car but don’t have insurance?

"I wanna buy a car but don't have insurance?

I'm about to turn 16 so I don't even have my permit. But I saw a car today for close to what I have. I'm gonna borrow the extra from my dad but how soon do I need to buy insurance? It's probably jut gonna sit in my driveway til I can drive. I just wanna get it before someone else does because its a good deal. But do I need insurance for a car that no one is driving? I brought it up to my mom and **** I got bitched out. I have to pay my own expenses by the way. I just wanna know if anyone has something different to say. Thanks

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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3one3 · 7 years ago

Text

The Sequel - 871

Playing Dragons

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s (okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

“I love your body, Prinzessin. I don’t understand how it works. Your skeleton must be so, so tiny. You have squish on top of the bones but your exterior is also tiny. I can poke my finger into your skin and it goes down. Other small girls, you poke your finger and it just stops. It’s skin and then bone. You have beautiful squish, but not any fat. None. And no bulky muscle. So your bones must be really close together or something. I don’t understand it.”

“Are you high?”

André’s bizarre monologue ended when Christina turned around to look at him like he was nuts. She was sitting up Indian-style in bed and he was lying down, gently rubbing her back while she tried to finger-comb and gather her hair back into an elastic high on her head, away from her neck. His earlier speech, about her favorite things and why she thought he’d forgotten them, was taken up as a challenge. He said he still did her favorite things that used to evoke that cute squeak from her that he adored so much, and that she just didn’t experience them the same way anymore because she was so close to Juan instead, and that she couldn’t have that level of intimacy with more than one person at a time. He said his kisses and touches used to feel so special to her because she didn’t feel them from the inside anymore- the idea being that she felt them in her heart, not just on her skin. Her husband told her that she let Juan fill the only space in her heart- that she opened herself up to him, and was more connected with him- and thus could experience only his physical love from the inside out that way. The rider refuted the whole theory. She insisted André had not been displaced from her heart, and she vowed to try to be more open and giving of herself so that he could still make her feel the way she loved most. They agreed to practice right away, despite her painful wound.

“No, I’m just confused,” the player shrugged, his hand still flat on her back- a safe distance from the bandage covering the cut. Since thoughtless tickling in the region of said cut was what sparked the fight that got to the “favorite things” discussion, he was vigilant and careful about not hurting her further when she let him take her clothes and accepted the invitation into his lap. Christina turned and leaned down to smooch his innocent and indeed confused looking face.

“I want to lay down but I’m afraid it’s going to hurt,” she told him, nose wrinkled up in displeasure. A naked blonde hunk of a man reclining comfortably on layered satin pillows with messy bed-head, a lazy smile, and peace in his eyes was a most inviting proposition. She just didn’t know how to install herself without putting pressure on her tree branch cut. Her back was constantly reminding her that she hadn’t given it a break since she got hurt.

“Lay on your side. Here, like you usually do.” André lifted his right arm to make room in his wife’s usual spot. The wound began on her right side and reached a few inches around her back. Her regular position at and on his side would keep it free of danger as long as her cuddle partner remembered not to rest his forearm on it. He was still trying to figure out if she enjoyed making love or not- or really, if she felt anything significant, and experienced the love he gave with his lips and hands and voice the way she lamented missing. The previously commonplace squeaking sound they spoke of didn’t happen, so he was pretty sure he was right about her inability to give herself up completely to two different people. That was what he thought brought on the squeak, always. Christina let all shields down, took off every piece of armor, trusted him, and allowed herself to believe all the things he’d ever said to her and the promise made by every look, smooch, hand-hold, and sigh. Only then could she truly enjoy the deepest level of sexual connection with him, he was sure. Love was the key to physical ecstasy- comprehensive, unguarded, vulnerable, intimate love. The BVB man was equally as sure that no one could ever maintain that specific connection with more than one partner at a time. He knew when it was broken between his wife and himself, and he knew why. The orgasms that night were strong, but the precious link was still weak.

“I need to pee first.”

“Don’t put anything back on,” he warned with a calm wink. His girl smooched his cheek and then got up, leaving him to yawn, stretch a little, have some water from the bedside table, and check his phone. It wasn’t particularly late yet but he was tired, and especially sleepy. He didn’t tell Christina not to restore her clothes because he intended to “practice” more. He just felt like cuddling with her naked body, which really did amaze him in so many ways. The most important in that moment were its warmth and softness and the feeling of security he enjoyed when he could hold it close- safe and sound and just for him. That body rejoined him in bed very gingerly and tentative. The player tried to be as welcoming and accommodating as possible, adjusting himself for her so that she could be still.

“I’m tired,” she yawned once they were both settled. “Are you gonna hold me up all night so I don’t fall over and wake up screaming in pain?”

“Yes.”

“You’re hairy.” The Olympian twirled some almost invisible fuzz around the very tip of her right pointer and nodded her head a bit to see if she could feel the hair on her cheek too. André’s blonde chest fuzz only seemed to grow right in the middle though.

“The electric razor needs new blades. I get bumps the last few times I use it for my body,” he yawned. They were going to keep passing the yawn back and forth. “Do you want to put your show on? How many episodes do you have left?”

“About 20, and yes please. I’ll probably fall asleep, but that’s okay.”

There was disappointment between husband and wife, and neither was wont to discuss it. Putting another episode of Game of Thrones on and seeing who would fall asleep first was easier, and less stressful, and less depressing. Christina realized that André was right. His lips on the best places in the best way didn’t feel like her favorite thing. They certainly didn’t feel bad, but they didn’t feel overwhelming. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine the disconnect was her doing. Never did she think the problem could be fitting two footballers into her heart. She always thought the problem was splitting herself in two to fill the space in the heart of each one of them. It was her staunch belief that the space in her own grew to accommodate them both. That never felt entirely right. There was always something off from the crowding. But until André tried to convince her that it was impossible for two men to occupy the same space within her, Christina never even considered it- nor considered that she didn’t love them equally. She thought they didn’t love her equally. It was very unpleasant to have his theory of the case demonstrated for her, by her. It was always difficult for her to admit she was wrong about anything. To admit it about that would have been a terrible conversation. And she knew her fuzzy-chested pillow knew it anyway. It wasn’t necessary to admit it aloud. Her lack of sound was actually an admission. He felt no need to do a victory lap, since they were technically both losers.

Nothing was any different in the morning. Christina woke Lukas and switched him from his overnight diaper into his pull ups, sat with him in the bathroom for a little while to see if he needed to go, helped him pick an outfit for the morning, and then made him Mickey Mouse-shaped fried eggs with the in-pan mould Espen picked up somewhere, a mini croissant he could tear apart himself, and some apple slices he could pick up with his hands. His favorite meals were ones equally divided between knife and fork foods and finger foods, because he liked to show everyone that he could handle his silverware capably but also enjoyed the satisfaction of shoving food in his mouth and thus getting it from plate to palate much more quickly. His dad stumbled sleepily into the kitchen before he was finished- just in time to be handed responsibility for him so that his mom could go work out, and a glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice for his trouble. He was too tired to make a big deal out of it, but André really resented the “ships passing in the night” nature of mornings in his home. He resented that he walked into the kitchen, got juice and a kiss on the cheek, and Christina left, often without much more than a “good morning” and a “thanks”. Usually he supervised Lukas for a little while and then either passed him back to Mommy and got himself ready to go to training, or passed him off to Espen and got himself ready to go to training. He was having breakfast with his teammates at Brackel instead of with his family, and that meant less interaction with them every day. It was nice on Tuesday morning to remember that his schedule was different thanks to the international break, and he was taking Christina out for breakfast before the grocery shopping.

“What will it be, Prinzessin?” he asked her after giving her a solid three minutes to study the chalkboard menu at the cafe and restaurant they frequented when she first started spending time in Dortmund. It was in the expensive neighborhood where many of his teammates lived, and where he was staying while he waited for her and the cavalry. There weren’t that many things on the cafe menu to study, but Christina wanted everything so it was hard for her to make a decision. Her breakfast date found the serious and contemplative manipulations of her face rather adorable, despite the length of time required to cycle through all of them.

“I think...the banana bread with espresso mascarpone and honey, and an iced coffee.”

“A sweet breakfast for a sweet Prinzessin? Alright. Go pick a table.”

“Nothing could be as sweet as your overly saccharine adoration this morning,” she told him with skeptical eyes.

“I don’t know what that means.” André shrugged at her and kissed her forehead. She shrugged back and spun around to collect silverware, napkins, and straws to take to whichever table looked good, and he laughed at the way her long, wavy ponytail swung side to side with her steps.

“You didn’t call me last night :(“ the rider texted to Juan while she waited for his former teammate to order their food and bring their numbered block of wood to the table so that the runners could find them when her banana bread and his sweet potato waffle were ready. Much to her surprise, Juan got back to her right away.

“You said to call when I was alone. I wasn’t alone.”

Is he trying to make me jealous? Or hurt me? Or remind me that he has other opportunities? Why even say this, she wondered. He could have just said he forgot, or he was out late and then went to sleep. Why passive-aggressively inform me that he didn’t spend the night alone while on a mini holiday to France with Taylor? Boys are dumb. Except Dirk. I know I said I was giving him a long vacation, but I miss sitting on him so much. Today is for working on Cartagena’s attitude about slowing down though, and getting Kimi to go long and low and let go of some of that tension he’s got in his topline out of nowhere, and...something with Socksyface. I don’t remember but I know I wrote it in my notebook. Calvin will probably need a consoling hack inside today too so he’s not emotionally scarred for life by the bird strike and solo run home. Le sigh. Boyfriend’s collarbone cleavage looks hot in that shirt, Christina added as idle commentary as André approached with their drinks. He usually looks stupid in those t-shirts with the huge necks. Maybe this one is okay because it’s a dark color.

“There’s more milk up there if you want it,” he told her after putting down her coffee. He added enough milk to make it the color he thought was right.

“Thank you. You look good in that shirt.”

“Thank you.”

“What are you drinking?”

“Chai latte.”

“Ew.”

“I ordered some scrambled eggs on the side for you so you don’t get hungry in an hour.”

“Why are you being so charming today, hm?”

“I’m charming every day.”

“Uhhuh.” Our home was a charm-free zone for the entirety of last week.

“What are you doing today after shopping?”

“Taking pictures of my ponies playing in their paddocks, braiding their manes, and riding around on Dirk pretending he’s a dragon, or at least pretending that we’re running from an army in Westeros or something.”

“Really?”

“No,” Christina snorted. “I have shit to do.”

“Like what?”

“Like real riding. Things I have to fix with the horses.”

“Says who?’

“Me.”

“Do you want to spend the day taking pictures of them and braiding their manes and pretending Dirk is a dragon?”

“It wouldn’t be the worst way to pass a Tuesday.”

“So why not do that then? Which one of them is irreparably harmed by having a day off in the field to just be a horse instead of having one of his problems fixed?”

“If I thought that way all the time, they’d all be useless.”

“Yeah, but we’re not talking about all the time. We’re talking about today. And you probably shouldn’t ride seriously yet anyway with the cut. Your Olympics experience should have taught you two things-“

“That’s it? Only two?”

“Shh. You should have learned that life and sport don’t always reward perfection. You were perfect there and you didn’t win individually. And you got there and succeeded there without being perfect and making the rigid choice at every question, yeah? Do you think if you had trained more and taken fewer days off you would have been a second faster and won two golds instead of gold and silver?”

“No.”

“Then you can put off fixing your horses’ problems today and do what you want.”

“What if I want to train more than I want to play dragons?”

“That’s fine too. Do that, then. I think the thing you should take from both lessons is that you can trust your judgement, Olympic Champion Prinzessin. Do what you feel like doing. It’s probably going to be the best thing, most of the time.”

“What if I feel like blowing straw paper in your face?” Christina snickered before hitting the uncharacteristically philosophical football player square between the eyes with her paper weapon.

“Your dragon will accidentally singe your ponytail off for that.”

“Nuh-uh. He’s my dragon. He’d never hurt me.”

“Christina, Mother of Horses Pretending to be Dragons?”

“I mean technically I’d be the one pretending he’s a dragon, not him, so...”

“Why do I sense an incredibly ill-advised Dirk-dragon music video coming?”

“That’s BRILLIANT!”

“Oh no...”

“Oh yes! You’re a genius, boyfriend.”

“You’re not allowed to watch the show anymore. I’m cutting you off.” André crossed his arms and leaned back from the table, a phony look of disgust lighting up his face in response to the bright light shining from his girl’s. He hoped she was enlivened by banter and flirting with him, and not by the idea of producing some cheesy dragon-concept video with her Holsteiner.

“I could continue this war of words with a slew of dangerous Thrones puns but I would really rather talk about what you want me to feed you for dinner tonight that will ensure the peace and confidence I require.” She folded her arms across her chest too and tried to counter his phony disgust with phony slyness. That lasted for about two seconds before she gave it up in favor of trying her cold brew.

“You’re still doing it. You’re talking like the people on the show.”

“Just tell me what you want to eeeeeeeat,” she whined.

“Why? Why do we have to talk about practical things? I’d rather hear your imagination and impulses.”

“You know, it doesn’t feel authentic when you totally change your behavior the morning after I complain about a list of things.” The rider’s eyes dropped from the contest and focused on the protective sleeve around her plastic cup. She’d taught André that they weren’t just for hot cups. They can soak up condensation from cold drinks and save one from dripping wet fingers. She was afraid he learned from her during their talks on Monday that she was bored and frustrated with their regular interactions- that he took from her perception that he forgot her favorite things that she meant silly conversations and flirt-fighting too, not just lollipops and kisses.

“I literally can’t do anything right for you, is that it?” André questioned back, his tone measured and unemotional. “You say you’re unhappy about certain things so I try to do better, or change, and then you’re unhappy that I listened? It only counts if I know what’s wrong on my own and fix it before you tell me?”

“No, it’s just- I don’t know. It feels like an act you’re putting on today, being all sweet and cute, and telling me my instincts are always right and I should take a day to goof off instead of train, and-“

“Why would it be an act? I believe everything I said. How would I even think to say it if it didn’t come to me? You’ve closed a chapter now and you can afford to try different things before you write the title of the next chapter,” he shrugged, moving his drink and knife and fork out of the way as he saw his breakfast approaching. Christina saw the tray of food too and waited to respond. Her banana bread, smeared with an unhealthy amount of espresso-tinted mascarpone, sprinkled with toasted buckwheat pearls, and drizzled with organic honey, looked delightful and indulgent. It was something she never would think to make at home, so it had extra appeal. Her partner, less dazzled by his still very nice looking sweet potato waffle adorned with bacon and glazed Brussels’ sprouts, kept talking since she hesitated after the server took the empty tray and the wooden number block away. “If you just train with the horses every day and plan your competition schedule as usual, you might speed right by this chance to maybe consider a different kind of goal, or opportunity, and I don’t even just mean outside of riding. Within it too. I don’t know what else there is but I’m sure you do. Maybe you want to focus more on the younger horses, or you want to do more of the big derby classes, or go to competitions you’ve never done before- I have no idea. I want you to give yourself a chance to make sure you know. Maybe you want to spend more time with Mausi before he’s old enough for kindergarten. Don’t go right back to your routine and the same mindset that you needed to get to Tokyo. Use the chance to see if you want anything different. I didn’t mean for suggesting to take one day off to play dragons and give your imagination a chance to stretch its legs for something other than problem solving to be a major deal, actually. I just thought it would be nice for you, and for them too.”

“I’m sorry for doubting, then,” the rider conceded with her mouth half-full. How sad is it that I thought him incapable of just being sweet on his own, and being thoughtful about what I do with my time? He’s clearly thought about it as much as I have, she admitted to herself. We’re just thinking about different things. I’m thinking about exploring the world outside of horses with Juanin, and he’s thinking of much more logical futures. That thing about doing more derbies isn’t a bad idea, really. And neither is going to new shows. I’d still like to go to Spruce, and maybe a few weeks in Florida this winter. My preliminary vision was to show slightly less and travel slightly more, which I could do by cutting down on the number of big classes Nicky does, which is good for him anyway because he’s an old man, and letting Kyle show Calvin more because he deserves that chance and it’ll make Calvin even more rideable. Holger can help him at shows I don’t go to. They don’t necessarily need me. Or I could scrap that entirely and take Calvasaurus to the events with super difficult derbies. He loves them. Dirk is so good at them too though. I suppose there are enough of those to go round. What I do know for sure is that Cartagena doesn’t need me to keep moving up. Kyle is doing fine with him even though he looks ridiculous with that tall upper body. Stef could even do him too. I think in general it would be good for me to have one less horse to factor in.

“What are you thinking about while you devour your dessert-breakfast?” André interjected into her introspection. He could tell she was absorbed in some topic in her head, but he wasn’t sure if she was contemplating the ideas he presented to her or that he presented them. His hope was the former. Their relationship, and their daily conversations, especially, weren’t supposed to require that much strategic or analytical effort. Christina half-smiled at him.

“All the healthy food I’ll have to eat later to offset the calories,” she said.

“I think you should make the spicy shrimp on the barbecue with the coconut rice. That was a good experiment. And it’ll make the boyfriend thirsty, he’ll drink a lot, and probably embarrass himself.”

“You’re supposed to be telling me what you want me to make for you to buy your good behavior, not to conspire against the poor guy.”

“I’ll be on my best behavior, within reason,” André winked. “Even though you lied to me.” His girl looked at him with incredulity, and cheese on her face that made him laugh. “You weren’t thinking about calories before.”

“Yes I was! You should too. That’s a lot of bacon. Maybe I should eat some, to protect you from the calories.” Christina eyed his fried pork belly and nonchalantly picked up her fork. He rolled his eyes and cut her a piece before she could just steal it.

“Thank youuuuu, and thank you for the scrambled eggs too. They’re pretty good. And also for being...you.” She poked at the bone sticking out of his right wrist and watched his eyes move about his plate. She could have said “for being sweet”, or “thoughtful”, or “charming”, but she consciously chose to highlight that being those things was being himself as she knew him. So much of her disappointment and dissatisfaction over the previous year stemmed from him not being those things, and what she deemed not himself.

“You’re welcome.”

“And thanks for the dragon video idea. I’m totally doing that.”

“I know when you’re full of it, pretty girl,” the BVB man reminded, hoping his girl understood that he was still talking about her earlier response too, about offsetting calories. She can talk out of and around it all she wants but I know she was thinking about something important, he reiterated inside, acknowledging the fact but stopping short of getting upset about it. I’m almost used to her keeping the important things from me. That’s part of our problem. I can’t force it out of her though. I can only keep showing her that it’s safe and helpful to share with me. And try to share more with her too. Oh, hey... “Would you like to use my nice camera to take pictures of the horses?”

“Yeah, maybe. I was mostly kidding about the pictures but I actually would like some candid photos of them just hanging out at home. We don’t have any that aren’t in magazines about the barn.”

“I’ll get it for you before I leave.”

“Thanks.”

“I might even show you how to use it.”

“Does it have any dragon filters?”

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oselatra · 7 years ago

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2017 Best of Arkansas editors' picks

Pie, dog-chasing-geese watching, wrecked groceries, etc.

Best place to get up close and personal with a pegbox

"Rachel, are these all done? Are you working your way down?"

Joe Joyner, violist and owner of the Little Rock Violin Shop, stands behind a row of violins, each instrument sitting on its side, like dominoes, atop a workbench. Rachel Herman, the shop's bookkeeper and sales associate (and an award-winning violinist), is photographing one violin after another as part of the shop's move to offer an increased inventory of restored and repaired violins for sale online. One of the shop dogs — two chocolate long-haired dachshunds named Truffles and Omobono, the latter of whom takes his name from the son of a famous Italian violinmaker, Antonio Stradivari — barks, sensing that the attention has shifted away from him.

At first glance, even for someone who's spent time around orchestras, the violins all look pretty much the same. If you stare at the row long enough, though, variations emerge. One's a muted amber color; another a ruddy orange. A few have pristine, hard candy complexions, others have been around the sun a few more times. Each instrument contains around 80 pieces of hand-carved wood, and a few of the older models have begun to deepen and mature, as organic materials are wont to do. On those models, there's a warmer complexity to the wood, and despite an expert restoration — a replaced chinrest, a new bridge — a couple of them look like they've been around long enough to have a few good stories.

Joyner and his team do much of their business renting instruments, giving lessons and setting beginners up for a trouble-free first year, but old instruments are their passion. "Every instrument has its own story to tell," the shop's website reads, "from the fabled histories of the craftsmen who made them to the remarkable journeys of the musicians, collectors and restorers who have preserved them over the past four centuries. At LRVS we recognize our role as temporary caretakers for these tools of art whose useful life may well exceed our own."

One such temporary caretaker, Josh Wheeler (another accomplished violinist), is seated at another workbench along the shop's perimeter, violin in hand. Like Joyner, he's wearing a heavy canvas apron, and the workspace he's hunched over is lined with at least a dozen plastic bottles, stacks of small cylindrical vials and an assortment of small hand tools. Overhead, violins hang from a rack as if they were pots and pans, and a pegboard lining the wall is equipped with paper merchandise tags, bridges of various sizes and tiny drawers full of tuning pegs and screws.

Joyner picks up a violin that Wheeler restored a year or so ago. "For this one, we took it apart. It was a major restoration. It's from the 1820s, 1830s, probably." It's priced at $6,500. "With a lot of older instruments, you can't really attribute it to a specific maker. The really nice instruments — the old Italian ones that are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars — they spend a lot of time and effort to figure out exactly who made it." I ask about the frequency of forgeries, instruments meant to pass as an Italian rarity, worthy of a pedestal and glass case in a museum somewhere. "Absolutely," he said. "That happens, and they're not always intending to pass instruments off as fakes." He tells a story about a violinmaker in England ("one of the best in the world," Joyner says) who used an Italian antique to make what's called a "bench copy" — a replica of a treasured original made with the original instrument present, or, in violinmaker parlance, "on the bench." Once in the hands of a new owner, the violin was passed off as the genuine article and picked up by a big-name auction house, making it to the cover of the house's auction catalog before the violinmaker, seeing it, recognized his own work and called foul.

In the violin world, questions of authenticity are ever-present — and maddeningly subjective. "There are makers today that are every bit as good as Stradivarius," Joyner said. "But their instruments aren't 300 years old. They don't have these fabled histories and they don't inspire players the way playing a 300-year-old instrument does." Blind and double-blind studies tend to support what Joyner says about living violinmakers: Most often, new violins aren't distinguishable or preferred overwhelmingly to those crafted by the old masters.

Joyner should know. He's heard a lot of violins since 1998, when he began playing viola with the Arkansas Symphony Orchestra. After those first two seasons, Joyner headed for school in Houston, where he played with Orchestra X, the Texas Music Festival Orchestra and the Victoria Symphony. Before returning to Little Rock in 2007, Joyner attended the Bow Making School of America in Salt Lake City, where he honed the skills he'd use to start up his workbench operation the Little Rock Bow Shop, now the much more comprehensive (and tenured) LRVS.

When it comes to his own choice of instrument, Joyner's put his trust in the shop's own luthier, Wesley Rule. Rule makes his home in El Paso (White County), and is in the shop Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Like many luthiers, Rule uses measurements from the old Italian masters to make new ones. For Joyner's instrument, Rule used a pattern based on a viola by the Brothers Amati, two famous luthiers from late 16th century Cremona. "Brothers Amati violas are always my favorite violas to play on. I love the way they sound, so I commissioned him to make one." SS

The Little Rock Violin Shop is open 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday. For more information, visit littlerockviolinshop.com.

Best conspiracy theory

Courtesy of Turnt Woolridge on Twitter (@twooldridge):

"2006: Houston Nutt is forced to hire Gus Malzahn in order to land Mitch Mustain. Nutt resents it, treats Malzahn badly. Malzahn leaves.

2007: In large part due to outrage over Nutt's treatment of Mustain/Malzahn, a message board FOIAs phone records that help take Nutt down.

2011: Freeze coaches ASU for one year, leaving for Ole Miss to replace fired Nutt, and getting replaced by none other than Gus Malzahn.

2017: Nutt gets Freeze fired using the same message board tactics that got him fired, which were precipitated by his treatment of Malzahn.

If Mitch Mustain hadn't decommitted from his first commitment to Arkansas, none of this would have happened."

Best pie

Everyone knows (or should) that Rhoda's Famous Hot Tamales in Lake Village is an essential stop en route to New Orleans or the Redneck Riviera for Delta-style tamales, but don't forget pie. Rhoda's half-and-half pecan and sweet potato pie is unrivaled. The secret ingredient, I suspect, is 20 sticks of butter. Or scoops and scoops of lard. Or something else bad for you. But how can a pie so good you dream about it be bad for you? LM

Best place to see a border collie run after geese

There's a big, white bird. I've been told it is a goose but it looks to me like a swan. It hangs around MacArthur Park, near the pond. This bird is an asshole. Whenever I go running in the park and come anywhere near it, the goose-creature-thing makes eye contact, turns up its ugly face, and charges me. I run away scared. While fleeing, the lack of support from any of the other geese always pisses me off. I never get an "I'm sorry for my friend doing that" or "Oh man, the goose-swan is such a jerk, it's actually just working out its own insecurities." These other geese enable the swan-goose by milling about in total silence near the water or pooping in the grass. Their silence damns them, too. Why can't we both enjoy the park, geese? You poop; I run and step in your poop. That's harmony! There does not have to be a conflict! But, there is. So, I called the Little Rock Parks and Recreation Department to learn more about my enemies, to hopefully bridge the gap even. I was only disheartened. I learn these are "resident geese." They do not migrate, sticking around the area for the entire year. This is their turf and they are not going to adjust to me. Attempts to relocate them have gone poorly, too — a rope around the pond and flashing yellow lights at night both failed. What to do then? (And, no, I am not anti-goose enough to advocate for the idea of hunting them as was proposed a few years back). But, there is a light in the darkness. "Her name is Jill," Eric Bowden, assistant facilities supervisor for Rebsamen Golf Course tells me. Jill is a border collie that runs after these geese. The geese fly away when they see Jill (safely to another spot where they can relax). "She's a certified goose dog," Bowden told me and "very effective." The geese are scared of Jill because, to them, she has "got that fox look" and so when they land they think it's a predator but it's just Jill and "a scare tactic," Bowden said. No harm to the geese. He also explained to me how the whole geese-clearing process works, he said, "If we see geese, we get her out." Here are some perks of being Jill: She has an AC kennel, she has a steady job with good benefits and she is a hero that runs after the damn geese. Go be a certified goose dog watcher and check out Jill at Rebsamen Golf Course. JR

Best summer jams from a White County native you haven't heard

In this age of music on demand, does a song of summer have to be one that you can't escape, that soundtracks every visit to the pool or roller rink or snow cone stand? Can't you simply decide on your own song of the summer in the comfort of your headphones at work? Of course! In that spirit, consider the new solo record from Judsonia native Beth Ditto, "Fake Sugar," especially the first half of it — tracks 1 through 6 could all be on your S.O.S shortlist. Ditto, who led the now defunct pop-punk band Gossip for more than a decade, has a voice as big as anyone this side of Adele, but until now, it's mostly been used in a kind of agro blues belt. On "Fake Sugar," the arrangements are stripped down and poppy, leaving plenty of room for Ditto to offer up the full range of her vocals. In an interview with Rolling Stone, she name-checked Bobbie Gentry as an influence on the album, and listening to Ditto's Southern-accented riffs on the title track, with lines like "hambone, hambone, where you been," does make me daydream about the possibility of a self-described queer, feminist, fat girl from White County becoming a country pop radio darling. LM

Best summer jams from a White County native you haven't heard, part II

"Hopelessness is a catchy tune we can't get out of our head," Isaac Alexander sings on "Silver Line," one of the many summer bummery pop gems on his new album, "Like a Sinking Stone." Alexander, a Searcy native who lives in Little Rock, has been making music prolifically since he was a teenager (Screaming Mimes, Big Silver, The Easys, The Boondogs, Greers Ferry), but he's slowed down in recent years as he's been putting out solo records. This is his first record in five years. It's sonically and lyrically of a piece of his previous two highly recommended releases, "Antivenin Suite" (2012) and "See Thru Me" (2008): Like those albums, he recorded it in Nashville with Joe McMahan (Luella and the Sun) and other ace session musicians, and he's still writing about the sort of things all of us in middle age obsess over: love, fate, faith, identity, death, boredom. It's dark in spots, but Alexander has a warm sense of humor and an unwavering commitment to melody — the record sticks to you. LM

Best place for weird pantry supplies

Smoked paprika is some next-level stuff, and they don't carry it at my neighborhood Kroger. For that — or for beeswax, or mosquito-repellent citronella essential oil, I need to plant myself just downhill from Professor Bowl on Reservoir Road, squarely between Natural Grocers and Drug Emporium No. 240. Between these two businesses, you could score a giant vat of sunflower oil, soy-based meat substitutes you thought went out of print, a few dozen types of flour, bulk spices like cumin and chili powder, and tempeh that tastes like bacon. And, if you're so inclined, you can choose from a dizzying collection of knock-off designer fragrances the likes of which have not been seen since "Electric Youth" came out. DK

Best place to go if you have a need for speed

The heat off the pavement melts the horizon as tires scream for their lives, forced by the mountainous fury of an 8.4-liter V10. Dozens of bright orange traffic cones denote a winding track. Drivers from all across the region are competing to complete the fastest lap ... in the parking lot of War Memorial Stadium. Welcome to Autocross. The ARSCCA (Arkansas Sports Car Club of America) has been putting on Autocross events for years and have held races at War Memorial, Blytheville Aeroplex, Walnut Ridge and other locations featuring large swaths of flat asphalt. The concept is simple: Make your way through a cone track in as little time as possible. The rules are a bit more complex, however. Cars are inspected and placed into designated classes based on their performance from the factory as well as any modifications installed by the owner. If you're thinking your family sedan isn't fit to make the cut, that's all right. Motorheads of all ages can have a blast at Autocross events even as spectators. If you ask nicely, most of the drivers are happy to oblige a ride-along for those enthusiastic about speed. Stay tuned to arscca.org for scheduling or head up to War Memorial on Aug. 19 for the next event in Little Rock. JL

Best thrifting

The Goodwill store at 16924 Cantrell Road in Little Rock, a.k.a The Good Goodwill (as opposed to The Badwill on Markham), where wage slaves like you and me can pick up McMansionite castoffs galore, including designer clothes, shoes, decent furniture, solid sports equipment and housewares. It's a bit of a haul out there from downtown, but there's always a better class of junk to be had at The Good Goodwill than the stuff at your average thrift store, and all just as cheap as you'd expect. DK

Best gastronomic Everest

That would be the "Free Steak" at Brangus Steakhouse in Russellville, a mammoth 4-pound hunk of choice sirloin, which is yours free if you are able to move it from the table to inside your body in less than one hour. Sadly, you have to bring your own wheelbarrow to have yourself hauled out, groaning. The big 'un does come with two side orders and toast, though, in case you really want to tie one on. If you don't summit Mount Beef in under 60 minutes, no worries: The Free Steak becomes a $60 steak (which, come to think of it, is actually a dang good bargain for a pound of sirloin per person if you want to split that sucker with four friends). Check out their full menu at http://ift.tt/2w1suhf. DK

Best place to buy semi-questionable grub

When a truck hauling food crashes, the insurance company pays off. It would be a little crazy to throw all that food out, though, which is where Wild West Salvage Grocery, at 215 S. Redmond Road in Jacksonville comes in. The fare changes every week and varies by quality (and expiration date... keep an eye on that), but recent offerings in their store (photos at http://ift.tt/2v8OlHn) include cans of Diet Coke 10 for a buck, jars of Heinz chicken gravy two for a dollar, five- pound bags of fully cooked and frozen popcorn chicken for $6.99, five-pound bags of raw catfish fillets for $9.98, plus grocery-store sized cases of name brand candy, orange juice, Starbucks drinks, Gatorade and more for prices that fairly scream: "Why you cheap, cheap bastard!" Yeah, you have to be a little adventurous to shop there, so if all this skeezes you out a bit, pass on by and head to the boring old grocery store, you wastrel. If you're looking for a deal, though, it's an option. DK

Best beach within reach

While we all wish we could teleport to the white sands of the Redneck Riviera down in Florida whenever we want, that day has not yet come. Until then, you can placate yourself with some of the sand beaches available on various lakes around the state. It's definitely better than nothing. Though the long, curving beach at DeGray Lake Resort State Park has been our go-to for several years, it can get a bit crowded on weekends. Our secret fallback is the little beach at Crystal Springs Campground, just off Highway 270 west of Hot Springs. Quiet, secluded, situated on a broad, clear, spring-fed inlet a good ways off the main body of the lake, it's all a bit rustic, but features a combination bathroom and changing house, built-in charcoal grills, a playground for the kiddies and — most importantly — a clean sand beach under the shade trees. The ocean it ain't, but if you're looking for a place to do some swimming, lounging and drinking on the sand, it'll do in a pinch. DK

2017 Best of Arkansas editors' picks

#2017 Best of Arkansas editors' picks

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