#i wont cry. if i put pettiness aside it's my fault for being stupid anyway

[kimmkitsuragi]

okay honestly this is petty but i hate how people in the eu can just go to different eu country and study there without paying tuition fees. what do i do now, i got accepted, but couldnt get the scholarship, and dont have a shit ton of money (because the fees are a SHIT ton of money) and now what lol. i guess i will just say “sorry i REJECT your offer lol” to a world top 100 university becuse im not in the fucking stupid eu

[punkscowardschampions]

Ro & Ali

Ro: I need you Ali: Where are you? Ro: [Sends location] Ro: Please come Ali: Coming now Ali: Are you okay? Ro: Not at all Ro: I'm so stupid, Ali Ro: And now he's gone and I don't know where he is or who with Ali: What's happened? What has he done? Ro: Nothing. It was all my fault Ro: And now he's so angry and hurt and he could be anywhere Ali: I'll get Caleb to check in on him Ali: but I'm concerned about you Ro: Thank you Ro: I'm sorry Ro: I didn't mean for any of this Ali: You don't need to be sorry Ali: not to me, not for any of this Ali: I'm certain Ro: But I do Ro: I can't tell him I'm sorry again though, he doesn't want to hear it Ali: That's on him Ali: What are you actually apologizing for? Ro: Everything Ro: The whole day Ali: Why? Ali: Start at the start Ro: I got so jealous and I was trying to make it up to him but I just made things worse Ro: I ruined everything again Ali: You didn't get jealous without reason Ro: Yes I did Ro: He told me so Ro: I thought he was talking to another girl on the coach but he was talking to Ana Ali: That's not true Ali: He was talking to Carly, I know that for a fact Ro: He can't have been, he told me he wasn't Ro: How do you know? Ali: She told me Ali: I saw the texts, Ro Ro: No Ali: I'm sorry Ali: but I did Ro: That can't have been what you saw Ro: He wouldn't lie to me like that Ali: I promise you, I'm certain Ro: Okay Ali: So, does that change what happened? Ro: Of course it does Ro: He made me feel guilty and like I had to prove myself after doubting him Ali: That's insanely messed up Ali: And manipulative and just Ali: Oh, Posy Ro: I couldn't do it, but that doesn't change the fact he was willing to let me Ro: If this is true, he isn't who I thought he was Ali: He was using it to his advantage Ali: when he was in the wrong Ali: making you believe you were is bad enough Ali: but then to try and get something like that out of it, no Ro: I want to go home Ali: I know honey Ali: do you want me to call the parents? Ro: No Ro: I can't bear the thought of Tess knowing why I want to come back Ali: Okay Ali: Is there anything I can do? Ali: Aside from kick his ass Ro: Keep Carly away from me Ali: Okay Ro: I need to fix my face before I see anyone Ro: Heaven knows how I will Ro: If anyone asks tell them I feel sick. Not a lie Ali: Of course Ali: I'm still making my way Ali: sorry, was a while away Ro: What did you tell Caleb? Ali: Just to find Drew, and see if he was alright Ali: Didn't recant it even though fuck him Ali: What do you want me to tell him, if anything? Ro: Fine. I do hope he's okay Ro: Tell him whatever you need to, I'm sure Drew will tell his own story regardless Ro: To me as well, if he ever replies to my text Ali: He's just pissed he didn't get EVERYTHING he wanted Ali: other than that, he's just fine, let's not give him anymore credit than that, he does not deserve it Ro: Well that makes two of us. None of my wishes about him have been granted. Ali: Exactly Ali: You don't have to do it now but when you can pin him down, it might be time to discuss expectations Ro: I expect him to stay away from me Ali: Good Ali: I am relieved Ali: but I'm here no matter what Ali: messenger, shoulder to cry on, sounding board to rant at Ro: Why are you relieved? Ro: Now is the time that I feel at my worst not the time I'm eased of it Ro: And Berlin is forever tainted Ali: I'm only relieved because that's the best course of action, so I'm glad you see it too Ali: Nothing beyond that Ali: I feel dreadful about the whole situation, and so sorry Ro: You've got nothing to be sorry for Ro: Thank you for being honest with me because he won't Ali: I can't say I'm surprised, just furious Ali: what a coward Ali: and I can't help but feel slightly responsible, bringing him into the sphere Ro: None of this is your fault Ro: Only my own Ali: No Ali: His Ali: it's his wrong...thrice over, if not moreso Ro: I should never believed that I'd ever be worth the effort for him Ali: No, it's on HIM if he's not willing to put in the effort Ali: it doesn't reflect on you, it's him Ro: How can it reflect anything but poorly on me than he doesn't want to be with me Ro: Or that he's willing to tell me that rather than admit to a lie Ali: Umm, because he's an arsehole Ali: and he's not remotely worth your time or energy because you're worth 10 Ro: Oh Ali Ro: You have to say that you're my sister Ali: No, if I thought he was an amazing catch, I'd be telling you to fight for him Ali: but how could I possibly think that Ali: given how he's behaved, there's no grey area about it, Ro Ali: and none of it is your fault, believe me Ro: I can't believe that Ro: It's just an excuse to make me feel better, which I do appreciate, of course, but Ali: It truly isn't Ali: He's awful Ali: to all girls Ali: not just you Ro: He obviously isn't that awful to Carly Ali: No, he isn't Ali: I know you don't want to hear about the other side right now though Ro: Or ever Ro: I don't even want to talk about this any more Ali: You don't need to Ali: as long as you're not going to try to go after the girls then it doesn't matter Ro: Are you actually taking her side? Ali: This isn't you v her Ali: that's what he wants, don't allow him to pit you against other girls Ali: the only 'side' I wouldn't be on, is his Ro: She clearly wanted it to a competition though, didn't she? Ro: Because now she's won Ali: Won what? Ro: Him Ro: Regardless she's beaten me Ali: Nah, it isn't like that Ali: Remotely Ro: Then what is it like, since you two must have had multiple conversations on the subject Ali: Don't be like that Ali: but he came to her Ro: You've clearly chosen your allegiance and I'm allowed to be upset that you care more about defending her than you do about what she's done to me Ali: I have not Ali: but I refuse to partake in this competition that does not exist Ali: Be angry at him, he's the one that's wronged you Ro: I am angry at him Ro: But he wouldn't think it was hassle to be with me if she didn't make it so easy for him Ali: That's not on her Ali: that just shows what you both want is incompatible Ro: You just don't want her to take any blame Ro: She knew we were together Ali: So did he Ali: it isn't her responsibility to keep him in check, or any girls Ro: Fine Ro: She still knew what she was doing Ali: Alright, and you can judge her character by that if you wish Ro: Does she like him? Ali: I don't know, is the honest answer Ro: Okay Ali: You can ask, or I can, but I don't know if you'll get the true answer, or the answer you want Ro: I honestly don't know which answer I want Ali: Understandable Ro: What am I supposed to do for the rest of this trip? Ro: Oh god Ali: Ice him out Ali: Hold your head up high Ro: You make it sound simple Ali: No, it'll be the hardest thing you've ever had to do Ali: but you'll do it anyway 'cos you're strong Ali: and so much better than this Ro: Please don't be nice to me Ro: I'm trying to fix my make up not ruin it again Ro: But I understand, I'll channel my inner Bea as if she was here herself Ro: Playing make believe always did come easily Ali: I'll help Ali: War paint never looking fiercer, scout's honour Ali: not a bad thing, don't let him of all people make you think that Ali: he lives in his own dreamworld where he's king and can do what he fucking well likes Ro: A dream world a step closer to being made real it would appear Ro: [Sends Ali a screenshot of the snap] Ali: 😨 Ali: oh hell no Ro: I wish we'd killed her back then Ali: she deserved it then, she's only been racking up misdeeds and poor karma since Ali: what a cunt Ali: did he know Ali: he had to know how she was to you, still is Ro: I didn't tell him what happened between the three of us years ago, but you're right she hasn't changed, and for all his posturing he isn't stupid, not even close to it Ali: No Ali: Eurghhhhhhhhhh Ali: I know why she would Ali: but how nasty and petty and Ali: I can't Ro: I can't stay here, Ali Ro: I know what we just said but I have to go home Ali: Okay Ali: we can say you've got food poisoning Ali: she might suspect otherwise but she's not going to get onto you, she isn't that bad Ali: and the teacher's wont feel as put out driving you to the airport Ro: I hope you're right Ali: I am Ali: I will sort this Ro: I'm sorry I shot the messenger earlier Ali: Forgotten Ro: Try and forget about me and all of this and enjoy the rest of the trip, okay? Ali: Obviously not Ali: but you don't need to feel bad about that Ali: its my job Ali: just focus on feeling this hurt Ro: I'll try if you try to get the most out of Berlin Ro: They aren't worth it, but this city is Ali: I will Ali: Promise Ali: You promise you'll still take care of yourself, even though you won't want to Ro: I promise to try Ali: Don't wanna rope in Rocky to bring you tea and toast Ali: Imagine the carnage Ro: Bluebeard would be thrilled to catch the cup on the way down, I'm sure Ali: Absolutely Ali: you don't need a soggy snuggle partner though Ro: Agreed Ro: I'm sorry for what I said about Carly Ali: I understand where it came from Ali: it's all good Ro: Thank you Ro: I love you Ali: I love you too